#piedestal

[francoise-larouge]

ParisTuileriesNov2023©FrançoiseLarouge (2)

[toutplacid]

L’enfance de Bacchus, sculpture de Pierre Traverse, 1938, parc de la Butte-du-Chapeau-Rouge, Paris 19e – mine de carbone, carnet n° 134, 31 octobre 2022.

[eyebulb]

30 means nothing in terms of whether you have your shit together or not…

Stolas falling in love with Blitzo is like a fangirl simping for her favorite anime character whether they're a good person or not (I would know).

Because Blitzo? He's not a very good person, especially not to Stolas. He didn't care in the slightest about Stolas or his feelings, manipulating him to get the things he wanted, insulting him, and overall just being straight-up uncomfortable around him. He voiced very clearly how much he didn't like him. Yet for some reason, Stolas chooses to ignore all of that and flirt with him regardless???

That's giving off major fangirl energy. I really hate how much of a teenager he acts like and he's frikin 30!!!!

[simverses]

TSM Gilded Set

The base for this set are Gilded items from Sims Medieval. I converted and made variations and objects I felt missing. 

14 swatches.

In this set:

1. TSM Gilded Sofa (3-seater)

2. TSM Gilded Loveseat (2-seater)

3. TSM Gilded Niche Sofa (3 seater) - I edited out the sides and made it a bit wider. 

Use for niches, or free standing as a pew.

Sofas and loveseat merged in one file, they share textures.

4. TSM Gilded Desk with cloth cover (original model)

5. TSM Gilded Desk, No Cloth

Desks merged in one file, they share textures.

6. TSM Gilded Chair (original model)

7. TSM Gilded Low Stool - variation with no back.

Chairs merged in one file, they share textures.

8. TSM Gilded Highchair (original model)

9. TSM Gilded Highchair Wider Model (very suitable for a throne, for example.)

10. TSM Gilded Stool Nicer (the highchair with no back, a softer low stool)

These chairs also merged in one file; they share textures.

11. TSM Gilded End Table Low Model

12. TSM Gilded End Table Tall Model

13. TSM Gilded End Table Taller Model

These end tables can be used as piedestals for pretty stuff anywhere.

14. TSM Gilded Counter Table - to place Punch Fountains, Coffee/Tea Makers and other stuff on

Gilded Tables merged in one file, they share textures.

Download TSM Gilded Set (Curseforge)

[nellasbookplanet]

Man talking about the asexual experience in fandom is frustrating sometimes

Me: I wish shippers weren't so eager to say 'there's no platonic explanation for this' and 'they're OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE' about characters being deeply close, or accusing any close same-sex friendship that isn't confirmed romantic as queerbaiting, or claim their fanon ship is basically canon and that reading it any other way is wrong, or-

Some rando on the internet: so you're homophobic then?? You say we shouldn’t have same-sex ships that aren't canonical??

Me: no, I'm saying we shouldn’t place romantic relationships on a piedestal or claim they're inherently more important than platonic ones and we CERTAINLY shouldn’t harrass creators and other fans who don’t cater to or critique whatever ship is most popular, also this applies just as much to straight ships as-

Some other rando on the internet: YEAH the WOKE MOB is ruining our media with their gay ships!

Me: ...

Me: buddy if you saw what I ship either platonically or romantically your head would explode. we are not the same

[blueloveonly]

Mi-ai observat coroana grea și ai ales să mi-o ridici,

La pieptul tău m-ai strâns încet și ai ales să te dezici

De zei, de răni și de familie, să îți fiu eu acasă,

M-ai ridicat pe-un piedestal, să-ți fiu eu preoteasă.

Si când cu frică te-am cuprins și te-am lăsat în suflet,

Mi-ai arătat ca nu e frig, și-n urmă nu las umbre.

Că liniște e tot ce-aduc in lumea ta sublimă,

Căci sunt speranță, sunt și sens, nu doar o amăgire.

Mi-ai cuprins mâna în a ta și m-ai ținut mai tare

Când eu am vrut drumul să-ți dau, tu m-ai ținut aproape.

Când am căzut și nu puteam, te-ai așezat cu mine

Reamintindu-mi că in rai, doar tu mă ai, iubire.

[kerizaret]

OH I see what you mean now yes,,

And oudghh... yeah I guess... gonna be honest with you it kind of is a reality because I had friends telling me I'm That One Friend Their Mom Compares Them To and I've heard parents compare others to me and its,, well, not the best feeling. I don't rly like this image personally, even when it's meant positively

But yeah I'm kind of just 😭😭😭 I didn't even realise myself how much its been until now when i wrote it all down,, 😭 idk man. Its the autism

Keri you are like the mom's friend to me. /pos but positively dumbfounded

Wait do you mean "mom friend" or like a friend of your mom lmaooo??? And why is it dumbfoudning???

[nparadox]

Scrisoare către tine

Sincer să fiu, nici nu știu dacă scrisoarea aceasta are într-adevăr un destinatar la urma urmei sau nu. Dar cu siguranță are un expeditor, acela fiind sufletul meu. Nu știu dacă tu vei citi vreodată ce scriu aici, ce reacție vei avea, cum și ce opinie vei avea. Eu, unul, știu că voi citi peste ani, voi zâmbi, poate voi lăcrima, exact cum fac acum când scriu cuvintele acestea. Îmi cer iertare în avans pentru fiecare element înșiruit aici ce potențial te va răni.

Atunci când te-am zărit, nici în cele mai umede vise ale mele, nu credeam că vom ajunge aici și vom trece prin această călătorie. Să fiu sincer, am fost foarte surprins pe parcursul conversațiilor noastre inițiale și de aici am observat stângăcia mea în raport cu tine. O stângăcie necaracteristică mie, dar care totuși sper că a avut un efect pozitiv, că a oferit o nuanță de șarm.

Am știut de la bun început la ce mă înham, chiar dacă poate acum nu crezi asta. Realist, fiind un overthinker, m-am gândit că drumurile noastre vor putea ajunge aici, dar am încercat să fac totul astfel încât să nu fim nici măcar tangenți cu momentul ce îl trăim. Ne-am găsit în două etape total diferite ale vieții noastre, etape care puteau și pot fi înlănțuite, iar eu cred asta și azi. Pot vorbi doar în nume propriu, însă eu am încercat să fiu versiunea mea cea mai autentică, adaptată la situație și să iau lucrurile ca atare. Am încercat să aplic zi de zi tot ce am învățat despre mine în ultimii ani, să nu mai fiu nesimțitul ce am fost odată și să dau din toată iubirea mea.

Fiecare dintre noi are niște lupte interne, iar într-adevăr, uneori luptele respective câștigă și arată rezultatul la suprafață. Prin comportamente, acțiuni, cuvinte sau prin lipsa lor. Am fost și sunt mândru de tine, încă din primele săptămâni de interacțiune și până în ziua de azi and beyond. Și ai de dus atâtea lucruri în spate, încât mi-e și greu să-mi imaginez cum e. Ți-am zis, într-o zi, că dacă aș putea să iau din durerile și din lucrurile tale ce trebuie să le cari, aș face-o instant. Poate chiar și acum. Mi-aș dori să nu uiți vreodată cât de mândru sunt de tine.

Încă din momentele incipiente, am tratat relația noastră cu cea mai mare seriozitate și cu o implicare mai mare ca oricând. Tu ai avut cel mai mare rol în această implicare. Doar tu. Nu știu dacă și cum ai văzut asta, dar eu am văzut doi oameni diferiți, cu multe puncte comune, la fel de multe puncte de diferență, dar cu un viitor frumos împreună. Nu a existat zi sau decizie în care gândul meu să nu migreze către tine și să nu mă interesez de cum te-ar afecta pe tine. 

Cum ți-am zis și zilele trecute, poate sună prea idealist, dar simt că ți-am dat tot ce am avut mai bun și încă puțin mai mult. Și asta m-a golit, m-a descărcat ca pe o baterie. Nu a fost suficient pentru tine și poate te-a sufocat. Și nu îmi pare rău, pentru că știu că am fost acolo în momentele grele. Știu că am dat tot ce am avut mai bun având acel context lângă mine. N-am fugit și sunt mândru de asta.

Amândoi am greșit, dar eu pot doar să subliniez greșelile mele. Am greșit că nu ți-am spus mai des că te iubesc, deși simțeam și simt cu adevărat asta. Și oh, Doamne, privind în urmă, uneori aveam așa emoții să îți spun asta. Am vrut să urlu la tine, să înțelegi că te iubesc, dar uneori simțeam că vorbesc cu un perete. Și când ne-am spus, fugitiv, într-o noapte aceste două cuvinte, am plâns. Nu vedeai, dar eu, în întunericul acela, plângeam. Plângeam și la volan, plângeam și mă rugam pentru tine. Am încercat să demonstrez iubirea mea prin gesturi, acțiuni, prezență, suport, ajutor și cuvintele frumoase ce ți le-am rânduit de atâtea ori, dar am ratat să îți spun că te iubesc și că sunt mândru de tine. Am încercat să construiesc baza unei relații oneste, lungi, împlinitoare, zi de zi. Am făcut asta din pură iubire, nu pentru că trebuia să bifez niște căsuțe din comportamentul unui bărbat ideal. N-am cerut nimic înapoi, n-am dorit să fiu pus pe un piedestal. Sper și cred că am avut niște așteptări sănătoase.

Am încercat zi de zi să nu reacționez impulsiv, să învăț zi de zi de la mine, de la tine, de la noi și să îmi arăt aprecierea, iubirea. Trăirile și emoțiile tale întotdeauna au fost importante pentru mine, de aceea răbdarea mea a fost acolo. Am căutat să facem echipă, și crede-mă, nu degeaba ți-am zis încă de la începuturi că te consider partenera mea. Am vrut asta, am venit cu ideea asta încă de le începuturi. Nu mai am 24-25 de ani să fug de responsabilități, de cuvântul meu. Mi-am dorit relația cu tine și cu siguranță o parte din mine, încă își mai dorește asta. Dar aparent tu nu.

Am încercat din răsputeri să ofer un spațiu safe, să elimin un viitor fals, nerealizabil, să mă concentrez pe lucrurile concrete. Te-am înțeles chiar și atunci când nu te înțelegeam, fiindcă se vedeau că rănile tale sunt deschise, sângerânde și marile insecurități te dărâmă. Am încercat să am grijă de sufletul tău, să te susțin în toate visele și să am grijă de inima ta mare.

Am făcut asta fiindcă și eu am fost în locul tău. Am făcut asta din suflet și nu mi-am dorit vreodată să te simți datoare. Uneori trăiesc și acum cu răni deschise, sângerânde, chiar la vedere. Depinde de zi, de perioadă, de moment. M-am ajutat singur, dar am fost și ajutat de unii oameni din viața mea cărora le sunt veșnic recunoscători. 

Am continuat să dau tot ce am avut mai bun din mine chiar și atunci când m-ai rănit, când m-ai doborât. Uneori ți-am întins mâna să mă ajuți, alteori m-am ridicat singur și doar abia spre final am simțit că nu mai pot face față, fiind dezgolit, secat. Și îți zic sincer acum, mi-aș fi dorit să pot să fi dat mai mult, mult mai mult, astfel încât să nu ajungem aici. Să nu uiți de locul în care te-am sărutat ultima dată.

Totuși, ce am scris aici e doar o fărâmă din tumultul ce îl simt acum. E o combinație de foarte multe emoții și aș avea nevoie de foarte mult timp, spațiu și energie să pot descărca tot aici. Dar și să le procesez. Nu știu dacă va exista o virgulă sau doar va rămâne un punct sec între noi. Deja e peste puterea mea de înțelegere acest aspect abstract. Partea frumoasă e că momentan doar ne putem imagina.

[lowpop]

Lisa Lach-Nielsen, Piedestal

[fredtougas]

Piedestal

[rayadraws]

I recently read a book about motivation and I found it quite interesting - and couldn't help but see a lot of parallels related to artists and art block. I thought I would share some of the points the book makes, which might be interesting for artists, writers and other creative people.

Motivation

We need motivation to start on and continue working on a task. We can find our motivation in different things, each with good and bad side effects - some of them have a tendency to shift our focus (for instance if you're motivated by feedback/praise you may end up spending more energy chasing that than at the task at hand).

Motivation can broadly be divided into external and internal.

External - rewards, compliments, likes

Internal - your own drive to do/finish a meaningful task

When possible, internal motivation tends to work better than external motivation, we’re more tenacious when our motivation comes from ourselves rather than outside sources. Internal motivation is strengthened by:

- Learning to master a new skill

- Experiencing autonomy (making your own decisions, this is self-rewarding)

- Being part of a community

- Feedback from others

- Performing a task that's suitable for our skill level/previous experience

- Getting to choose your own task

By contrast, external motivation can consist of:

- Bribes, such as treating yourself after finishing a task. This is a double-edged sword - it will further convince your mind that the task isn't worth doing for its own sake, but if the alternative is that you won't finish the task at all this is a better alternative.

- Grades, can motivate but also cause stress and be associated with personal worth, which is detrimental. If you can view grades as neutral feedback you can utilize them best.

- Social influence, such as not wanting to disappoint others. Can strengthen internal motivation but also cause fear or an unwillingness to challenge yourself in case you fail.

- Status, power, money, you can become addicted to these factors.

If you want to be more motivated you need to first understand why your motivation is lacking in the first place. A common issue is that you're too worried about what others think about you.

Self-worth & the idea of talent

There is also our feelings of self-worth and how capable we view ourselves that influence our motivation. If we knock ourselves down ("I bet I can't do it anyway") it'll lower our chances of success. If we believe in ourselves and our skills we're more likely to succeed.

When possible it's valuable to have a role model, having one can motivate us a lot. Is there none? Perhaps you'll be the first role model for others following in your footsteps.

In modern society we often put the idea of "talent" on a piedestal, of having been given the gift of expertise without putting in the hard work. In truth no such kind of talent exists, expertise comes from hard effort.

We also have to watch out for over-commitment, which can lead to stress, exhaustion and anxiety. Two major risk factors are the feeling of being watched/judged and a lack of balance, typically the concept of talent again - the end result should be perfect, but should also appear as if it took no effort, an impossible task. The concept of talent leads us to the next point:

Deliberate practice

There is the concept of deliberate practice, meaning that how we practice is more important than how often we do it. You can spearhead your growth by making your practice intense, conscious and tenacious. To use drawing as an example, you'll learn more by practicing something you feel uncertain about than just repeating what you already know. Likewise, learning more about different fields/parts/subjects makes us more well-rounded in general. For instance, if you learn to draw one kind of animal it'll be easier to draw animals related to that one. Learn to draw a completely different animal from the first one and you'll struggle less with animals related to that one too. We grow and learn the most when we manage to find the right balance of staying inside and stepping outside our comfort zone.

You can think about how video games are set up and draw comparisons with a good way of learning a skill - you start at an easy level, gradually add more challenges and focus on your progress rather than your mistakes (just don't fall into the trap of a bonus system of quick rewards).

Our brains need to be challenged to grow, but we also need time to recover. In other words, alternate between trying new things and doing what's familiar.

If you are putting a lot of effort into a task it's a sign that you're learning. If things are too easy it's time to raise the difficulty.

Mindset

Mindset is about how you react to when things go well - and when they go badly. You can't change your mindset before you're aware of it.

We have a tendency to let feedback we receive (or lack thereof) colour our feelings of self-worth. Viewing your accomplishments as part of your personal worth is a surefire way to ruin your motivation, your tenacity and eventually your health.

A poor view of your self-worth also steals a lot of energy. You view your skill as a personality trait and base your inherent value on the feedback of others, such as the number of likes you receive. You run a higher risk of failing a task if you’ve tied it to your self-image or if you're addicted to praise.

On the other hand, positive affirmations are actually not as helpful as we’re often told, they mostly reassure people who are already very confident. High confidence is not automatically tied to successful accomplishments but can be a source of joy and determination - though that confidence can be at risk of quickly shattering if things don't go as we hoped.

Focus

When we pick up a new hobby we're often very motivated at first. This tends to stem from being at a suitable challenge level for our skill level, we get in the "flow" and we can easily see/follow our progress at mastering a new skill.

Over time it becomes more challenging to balance our challenge level with our skill level, risking us growing bored or frustrated. To counteract this, learn to compare yourself only with your own growth, not anyone else's, it’s not relevant to you.

Feedback

Contrary to what one might think, feedback is not always helpful. We're often already aware of our mistakes and having them pointed out is not helpful unless we ask for it.

Negative feedback is much more helpful if it leaves room to adjust/fix the issue, otherwise it's not really helpful. Mark the difference between small slips (not worth bringing up) and mistakes (that can be corrected).

Many of us are addicted to praise. It gives us a form of external reward, feedback and it makes us feel valuable, but there's risks too, such as setting too high expectations and thinking you only have value while you're productive.

Feedback associated with our feelings of self-worth, like "I'm the best", adds nothing. Focus on your achievement, not your self-image. If you view failed tasks as failures of yourself as a person you'll run a high risk of giving up. Constantly focusing on high achievements will eventually lead to exhaustion.

Giving feedback to someone else:

- Be gentle

- Help a person stuck in a negative spiral to formulate a less destructive way of thinking of themselves

- A failure is just a failure, it doesn't define a person

- Keep offering praise even if the recipient isn't used to it and try to wave it away

- Usually we should focus on the achievement, not the person, but it's fine to also give person-based praise sometimes ("you're the best!"), as long as it's not always the main focus

Source: 'Motivated' by Alva Appelgren

[nuancefem]

as someone with bpd it sounds like that girl has bpd. I behaved in the exact shitty way with new fps lol

DAMN IT U MIGHT BE RIGHT....... at least bpd-adjacent reactions. i have bpd as well and it took ages for me to grow out of that.

rn she's stuck living with her toxic family and is really isolated, not working or studying, waiting for a big chronic illness-related surgery. and she has a lot of trauma & anxiety & insecurities. she also says she doesn't want therapy cuz she's still living with toxic family, so she doesn't think it'll do much lol even though i told her i do nooot date girls seriously if they have issues unless they're heavily therapized. i feel like she's the type of sapphic who will uhaul VERYYYYY easily, especially to escape her current situation. and i get it bc i've been there. but it's also a suuuuper bad idea. if things continue i know i 100% will have to be firm about her moving into her own place first and doing some growth. i CANNOT have a repeat of what i've been thru in the past... and i've been on both ends. it rarely ends well.

if you've been traumatized and have low self-esteem imo it's always best to have some time to heal on ur own and develop your own strong sense of independence before you add someone else into your living space, or even date. i also wouldn't wanna live w anybody while i still have my senior bunny anyways since she's very messy, and i'm still learning how to juggle chores on my own. my ex did a loooot for me out of love, but honestly it was rly bad for both of us. including me bc i lost important life skills over time and it made things only harder and harder. it was enabling my anxiety & low self-esteem, and they felt bad for me so they weren't setting up boundaries no matter how many times i checked in w them. i refuse to put me or any other girl through that, bc now post-relationship my amt of guilt was/is insane. and it could've all been avoided!!! it's almost never worth it. she's already been kind of oversharing about very personal struggles. i know i share a lot, but i'm just generally like this as a therapized ambivert adhd chick with pretty decent emotional intelligence. and to her it seems like i'm an oasis bc no one else is giving her the very bare minimum. but it's still the BARE MINIMUM. so her gulping down my attention with such desperation makes me go HMMMMM... bc she's clearly not fully in her right mind or stable in her sense of self.

and it actually doesn't make me feel special, it really doesn't make me feel seen. i feel totally replaceable since i'm only giving her what any decent person would, she's just had bad luck. it's kind of... boring? because she's not actually getting to know me, she already has a perfect idea of me in her head and has me on a big piedestal bc i treat her decently. and we haven't even met irl yet, so i'm feeling the pressure building already lmao. she likes the idea of me, not the real me. it's limerence, basically. and this girl has been dating strictly long-distance beforehand afaik, and those are barely relationships the grand majority of the time, if you don't meet irl regularly or haven't spent a very extended amt of time together face-to-face beforehand. she doesn't notice there's endless fish in the sea. i don't want someone to choose me bc she thinks i'm the only option that's gonna come around... i wanna be chosen carefully and weighed against other choices. she's in a dark place in her life and i'm super aware of that, and viewing things critically & keeping my feet on the ground. i don't even know her enough to like her yet lmao... it feels so weird. it's hard, having been on both ends of the stick. but if she expects me to be exclusive before we even meet irl she'll be very disappointed lol... i don't put all my eggs in the limerence basket anymore. those kinds of girls are a bit scary honestly. it's like they see you as a character from a tv show. you're a blorbina not a real person.

i have charming girl swag so i have been a fp endless times... i'm really living up to my heartbreaker jacket hahaaaa 🫠 i don't think i'm gonna even do anything remotely spicy with her until i know she actually knows me and is realistic about this whole thing. i'm into casual too, but this chick would fall a billion times harder and be even more heartbroken if i decide she's not my serious type. i feel like i have a casual type in girls & a more serious type, and she does kinda have potential, but i don't see it as true potential unless the person is stable and secure in herself. otherwise... who tf am i even dating?

[toutplacid]

Piédestal du monument à Raspail, fondu en 1942, square Jacques-Antoine, place Denfert-Rochereau, Paris 14e – feutre, carnet n° 109, 26 avril 2016

[jechristine]

Yeah he was born with this face idk what anon want him to do about it😭 He would look even more ridiculous if he tried a model stare or something

I think he looked fine in most of the pictures at the Indian festival tbh. Just looking at the camera, smiling with his little signature pose and he's good to go. People who are dragging him for his face will keep doing it but why would he stop leaving his house just because of it and also why do you, as a fan, put their opinions on such a piedestal 🥲

Yeah it can come across a bit awkward on red carpets and in some photoshoots, but Tom’s resting scared face is what gives his characters so much pathos (even when it’s not really necessary as with Nate) and one reason, I suspect, why some fans feel so protective of him.

Big puppy dog eyes 🐶

He looked better than fine in India! He’s handsome <3

[maidenvoyage42]

i might regret posting this, but tumblr is so annoying right now.

of course it happened again, you put somebody on piedestal (david jenkins), and the moment something happens that differs from your ideal outcome, you want to 'cancel' him.

i know that shows and characters are important to all of us, and ofmd is truly something else and means a whole lot to all of us, and izzy's death hurts me too.

but please please be able to see nuances, to watch a show critically, to absorb its positive and its negative sides. please don't fucking say that one of the queerest mainstream show of our age is suddenly homophobic, just because you are sad that your fav character died. it is not and you know it. izzy's death made narrative sense, and good stories have chatartic losses, too, because that is part of life also. and yes, you can disagree with me, and say that it doesn't make narrative sense, it is really okay to debate if a writer's choice is good or bad. but don't pretend that one bad choice cancels out all of the good. (or label the show something that it is not because of it.)

and of course, you can be sad, i'm fucking sad, too and that is appropriate in this situation, because good shows make you care. what is not appropriate is to lose all of your common sense and turn on something that is ultimately one of the best things that came out from last decades' mainstream media. this is not sherlock or supernatural all over again and don't pretend that it is.

[nellasbookplanet]

While I'm not necassarily optimistic about the upcoming hunger games movie (I rarely am about adaptations, though I generally try to stay positive until proven wrong), I am in fact very curious about how they'll handle Lucy and Snow's relationship. Like, we all seem to be on the same page about the original movie trilogy turning a social critique with a side of romance into a romance with a side of detached tragedy (ironically mirroring the Capitols approach because we live in a dystopian hellscape). That approach was possible because we more or less always knew the boys' feelings for Katniss were honest, and that while she certainly used them (Peeta especially) to survive the games and was uncertain regarding her romantic feelings, she genuinely did deeply care for them. There was a romance, the movies just over-focused on it because it was the easiest (and in my opinion least interesting) way to go about the adaptation.

With Lucy and Snow, that same approach doesn’t exist. We never truly know how Lucy feels, whether she’s only using Snow to survive or if she actually cares for him (my personal interpretation is a bit of both), but Snow... He never sees her as a whole person. She’s a romantic ideal, a mirror of his trauma, this perfect girl who isn’t like the other people from the districts (because if she were, he'd have to reckon with how the districts were treated), and the moment she falls from the piedestal he's put her on any care he'd held for her immediately evaporates. She was never real to him.

And I worry that the movie will try to turn them into these tragic, star-crossed lovers instead of a traumatized, entitled teenager projecting onto another traumatized teenager and chosing murder when she becomes too much of her own person for him to continue doing so. Please, please don’t try to turn Snow's story into that of a tragic, romantic fallen hero rather than the villain origin story that it is, I beg.