#pidge is so done with everyone's fucking shit

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S8 Ep 1-2

I CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. I am so close to being free of this fuckass show. I am. Almost. ALMOST. Free. Guys I'm so excited to be done. Tell me what to do after. To those finding this in the wild, here's the tragic backstory, or in short a kid I tutor recommended it, I started it, she was really happy I did that, and then I got far enough into it to become a shining example of the sunk cost fallacy. I put together lists of what I like and don't like and then I ramble. I cannot wait to Be Free.

Approved

Opening on better funnier more whimsical 80s Voltron clip made me smile I fear. I MISS YOU OLD VOLTRON

Pidge is grounded LMFAO. Also Mother Holt is wonderful.

This is the love letter to Neil Ross' Pidge I've always needed (hilariously he also voiced 80s Keith)

This is not a good thing but it made me CACKLE to realize so I'm putting it here: how does Admiral Sanda have a first and last name but our LITERAL MAIN CHARACTERS do not bro Lance and Keith and Hunk do they have any last name????? Lmfao

I still love the druid bird masks and fits on the whole.

Archivist fit still balls even as he dies

I can't Lotor is so "Please Sir May I Have Some More" I'm wheezing

"This creature pleases me. It will be mine"

I do still love the trans rights + bisexual color palette in Oriande it is fr very pretty

Never Been My Thing, Not Into It, Not Approved By Me

Guys I'm so serious since I'm reminded of OG Lance from 80s Voltron, I'm distraught. This Lance is so. He's so sad and limp and unfun. 80s Lance was so full of life comparatively

Your honor, I hate these military meeting exposition dumps

Idk why it is that Allura's hair looks grey. I don't approve of it.

Bro they literally leave Shiro with like. NO FRIENDS. NO FAMILY. NO BITCHY EX BOYFRIEND EVEN??? He's like "spend time with your loved ones" WHO IS HE SPENDING TIME WITH??? IS HE JUST ALONE?? FREE HIM

Lance has truly been rendered nothing it's honestly a tragedy on the highest order that we cannot have a romantic relationship happen without both parties being made obscenely disgustingly flat

KEITH IS ALSO FUCKING ALONE????? SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES MY ASS THIS JUST SHOWS HOW THESE CHARACTERS HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING OMFG WRITERS YOU HAD ONE JOB IN THIS EPISODE

The animation in this episode looks a lil busted compared to the usual high quality. Lots of still frames and oddly off model moments

VERONICA NOOOOO DO NOT FUCKIGN GO FOR KEITH PLEASE GIVE ME ONE CHANCE I'M BEGGING

"Now here on earth I see everyone has a home to return to" BUT THEY DON'T DO THEY??? THIS SHOW UNDERCUTS ITS OWN BULLSHIT SO MUCH

I can't w this romance man they've been wanting for it to happen since DAY ONE OF THE SHOW and they've fumbled it so hard bro I can't. THEY COULD'VE MADE THIS WORK IN SOME WORLD. THEY HAD 7 SEASONS BEFORE THIS TO SET THIS UP RIGHT

I still hate Shiro's Sendak-ass arm

LOTOR IS A FUCKING COMBINED NAME??? A HISTORICAL FIGURE SHIP NAME????? JAIL. JAIL JAIL JAIL. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THING TO TELL ME

This show really doesn't have a clear view of what they want to do for their metaphors. It's really glaring with the Honerva/Haggar of it all. It all getting so mixed up is... particularly fraught. I could go into this in greater depth and have in part before but I think that a lot of it seems unintentional. It's just. Very clearly needing MUCH MORE editing and drafting

This show keeps. Not understanding what it's trying to say. Again, Honervaggar goes on about how evil is intrinsic and you would think that that's okay for her (villain) to believe but for the show to go on to show the meaning of redemption, but THE SHOW ITSELF REINFORCES THAT W THE DAMN QUINTESSENCE POISONING AND SHIT

Many mixed metaphors here metaphors so mixed I don't even know where to begin unpicking them fr

I really don't think we needed all this point by point step by step planning. It's not the information we need within this episode

Also guys Lotor is a GOOD colonizer see he colonizes by finding collaborators, SOME colonization is good! Zarkon just Did It Wrong! Istg I KNOW this probably wasn't what they wanted BUT IT'S WHAT THEY'VE FUCKING SAID. BY ACCEPTING THE EMPIRE YOU ACCEPT COLONIALISM AS A NEUTRAL ACT. THAT IS. WOOF. WOOF BRO.

Yeah not a lot good to say here chief. Not a whole lot good at all. I think that Lance and Allura being fumbled so hard when that is an endgame pairing you could tell they wanted to set up FROM EPISODE ONE is truly something else entirely. I also think. It's so fucking awkward for the show to be like "Be with the ones you love" and then. Cool, Pidge is hanging w her mom and friends, we uh. Barely see Hunk but at least he's got his family w him finally. Lance and Allura go Meet The Parents (Lance's upgrade to the adult table was a detail I liked). We're missing two paladins here bro. Two of the main characters in this damn show. One of em is just off alone, and then. THEY PUT BABY IN THE CORNER. THEY LEFT BABYGIRL OUT. WHERE IS SHIRO???

Like. They really had nothing for Shiro. They said "you get crumbs and a Sendak arm" free my girl.

Anyway I think the Launch Date episode had inklings of something fun and cute, they just. CANNOT manage to characterize Allura and Lance in a way that keeps both of their established personalities. Lance should get to have levity! Him losing his humor isn't maturing if he's not shown to put any work in for it! And Allura really loses a lot of her authority and confidence as the show progresses but the show never actually delves into that in a way that could be interesting!

Had Allura as a character started out OVERconfident, arrogant even a little (and she's a princess she's got the reason to be!) and then gotten narratively humbled and THEN she can start to appreciate Lance for who he is as he also has to gain more security in himself, THAT would be compelling to me! But they never really establish Allura as being flawed! And that could be okay too, we need some paragons, but because she's NOT flawed she doesn't have anything to grow to, so they've shrunk her down. They've flattened her out, they've failed her.

I just. Idk. She feels so.... shriveled up as a character. Same with Lance!

I will get to the colonialism of it all at a later point I'm going to hold off on it until I get a full picture of the plot and wtf they're even thinking atp because though the tropes are powerful these writers are also not competent enough even to stick to em when it'd work so. I'll wait.

So here we are, start of the very last season of the show. Lance and Allura are husks of their former selves, Hunk is... not here, Pidge is grounded, and Keith and Shiro don't exist. YEEEEEEEEEEHAW I LOVE A SHOW WITH 6 MAIN CHARACTERS I LOVE AN ENSEMBLE CAST WE'RE REALLY MAKING THIS FOUND FAMILY BE FOUND IN OUR MINDS AND OUR MINDS ALONE BC IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T IN THE TEXT

PS if you are not fully getting what I'm saying in here wrt anything, if you want clarification as to what I think about something specifically, you can ask! All I ask is that you do that before assuming you know what I mean. I'm human, this isn't my first language, and I'm not editing these very heavily. Just ask me what I mean and I'll clarify! Or at a minimum, don't assume the worst possible interpretation please :) I don't know you guys and you don't know me. Let's keep it friendly and reasonable on here champ.

[bluedemon1995]

Kidge Fall Event 2024-Late but still committed!

Sorry about the lateness but hopefully can catch up one day

Oct 23-Keith birthday

Keith heard a buzz. Then another. And another. Ugh. That’s right, today was his birthday. He rolled over, ignoring the demand of the phone and tried to go back to sleep. Keith hated his birthday. When he was younger his dad would make a big deal out of it. Chocolate chip pancakes. Breakfast in bed. No school, cause his dad would always keep him home. Guy time. They would go hiking or they would spend the day at the fire house. His best birthdays really were just a day they spent together.

But then, it ended. He was alone and no one acknowledged it. And he never really told people his birthday. Instead, he wanted to forget. Push it out of his mind. Obviously, people knew but he never did anything special. Fast forward to this year. He knew his mom wanted to do something, but he just couldn’t.

That said, Keith dug into bed, pulled up the covers tight and went back to sleep.

Lance on the other hand, grinned Operation KB is in effect! He knew his friend wanted to hide for his birthday, but those days were over! He now knew everyone’s birthday, signs and rising moons. There was no way Keith was going to hide ALL day.

He sent the group message.

*Mission on. Everyone knows their part. Team Voltron!”

Shiro grinned, thinking Keith had no idea of what was in store for him.

Hunk started cooking and baking. He had a list of food for each paladin, what they liked and didn’t. Keith was going to eat well today!

Katie nodded. She had a clear job to do.

Keith woke to a bounce. Slowly opening his eyes, he squinted in the light…and saw a pixie?

“Dude, is this new? Sleeping until noon?” Katie murmured. She risked a hand and patted his head gently. She always thought people weren’t gentle enough with him.

Keith blinked. “Katie?” Shit, quickly changing gears he continued, “Pidge, hat are you doing here?”

Before she replied, Keith realized he was only in his boxers. FUCKKKKKK.

“Well, hello to you to. SOOOO glad you stopped by. And, sure I’d love for you to show me around my first time on the Underworld.”

Keith blinked. Was this the first time she was on the ship? Crap. “So, um, I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“Yup. Kolivan asked for my help with your tech and of course, as I’m here there is some issue that made him Un-Av-able. Whatever.”

Keith nods. “Um, okay. I can be ready in 30 if you want to come back?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Katie quickly remembered Lance’s instructions. “I’ll just let Griffin know that I’m free for a bit. Take your time. He was my ride ya know? So, we came here together.”

Keith froze. No. No way in hell. “Yeah, um, no worries. You know, you don’t need to leave. I’ll just um, get ready in a minute and we can do whatever. Is he um, your ride back? Because Cosmo can take you back when you are done. In fact, where is he? We can just tell him now- he can get back to base. I’m sure he’s got stuff he needs to do.”

Katie tried to hide her grin. She had no clue how Lance knew he would dig in but, luckily, it was dark in his room. “Oh, okay, I’ll let him know. Why don’t you get dressed? Let’s get this show on the road.”

Keith nodded, jumping up, he once again realized a second too late that he was in his boxers. Feeling his face heat, he quickly grabbed some clothes and ran into the bathroom.

As he took a quick shower, his thoughts were filled with her. She cut her hair again, it was in a cute messy short hair style. No glasses she must be feeling comfortable. With fucking Griffin. Annoyed, he quickly dried off, absently wondering who else came with them. And damn did she smell good. No lie, it was his favorite scent.

He quickly threw on his clothes and brushed his teeth. Where should he show her first? Maybe they should get breakfast. Then they could see Kolivan and his mom. No, what was he thinking, the lab or the tech room might be a better bet. He opened the door and froze. She was laying on his bed, shoes off, holo screen in hand. Her head on his pillow, her foot absently swinging in time to something only she heard. Her scent in head. His hand itched to touch. His lips itched to taste.

In that moment, he thought back to his dad telling him on a camping trip, “Hey kiddo, it’s your birthday, you don’t need any candles or cake. Make a wish and it will come true. Birthday magic.”

He closed his eyes and wished…he wanted, wished to have Katie forever.

[thaliagrayce]

i've been talking abt my voltron playlists and @iveofficiallygonemad asked to hear them and i want to share with anybody who wants!! i know they're not perfect, i'm working on them & trying to make them better. if you have any recommendations for any of them, let me know!! there's like A Lot and i want to give a lil explanation for most of them, so i'm putting them under the cut ^-^

SO first i have my favorite one <3 it's just. all of them. it's the whole team. it's a mess and it's a bunch of different genres because it's them fighting over the aux cord on a road trip. it's them trying to make each other laugh or annoy each other or play something catchy enough it will infect everyone in the vicinity with brain worms.

Hunk: i'm pretty happy with my Hunk playlist! chill vibes. he strikes me as the kind of guy who listens to calm music to try to find his own calm, and that's what i got here :)

Pidge: this is messier and less cohesive than my usual playlist because frankly i think pidge would have a shit taste in music. all over the board. this is a mix of meme songs and 8-bit covers and vocaloid and stuff that i think pidge would genuinely connect with, and i think pidge listens to all their music on shuffle without any regards for genre or mood because they're a gremlin. nobody gives pidge sole control of the aux.

Coran hears 80's music for the first time and loses his mind. He thinks ABBA is humanity's single greatest achievement.

Lance: i have ideas about where I'm going with this but haven't really settled yet. Lance seems like the kind of boy that loves to dance (is that canon? i forgot) so most of these are Bops That Make You Move in some way or another. he likes to present an upbeat face to the world, so there's no angsting in this playlist! we are clinging to the things that make us happy with both hands until our knuckles turn white!

Keith: i'm gonna be honest. i made him a playlist but i honestly don't think he cares about music very much. it's very important to some people! he's just not one of them! i haven't cracked this playlist open in a while but i'm pretty sure it's full of songs that i think he would conceivably train/work out to.

Shiro: this playlist involves the dumbest headcanon i have for shiro that has just not left me alone since i first thought of it. most of the playlist reflects the fact that he had an emo phase in middle school (that one isn't a headcanon, you just have to look at him to know) but BUT there are a few songs on here that are on here because. little known fact. he also went through a Twilight phase that he told nobody about. (keith knows. keith was there.) he has the entire twilight soundtrack memorized. he moved past the story but the music stays forever. he used to daydream about slow dancing to Flightless Bird, American Mouth. the first time Coran mentions that they have to avoid a place because there's a supermassive black hole there, he has to bite his tongue in order to keep a straight face. do NOT ask me why i believe this so wholeheartedly.

Allura's playlist sucks right now. I think it's because in my heart of hearts i know that, were she on earth today, she would go fucking nuts for taylor swift. i have ambivalent feelings for taylor swift. i cannot do allura justice like this. if you see my vision and have recs as to what might actually fit her, PLEASE.

Klance: i haven't done it yet but i'm gonna go through this and sort it to be a sort of progression of their relationship, starting with the more combative Rivalry songs, then slipping into "oh shit oh shit" songs, then maybe ending on the more lighthearted purely romantic songs <3

(i have two songs in a shallura playlist which does not at all encapsulate how much i'm obsessed with them. the tiny cop inside my head is just constantly screaming at me that i'm going to get yelled at for liking shallura. i am going to kill the cop inside my head.)

[madstronaut]

Reading: Guile & Guilt by @the-californicationist

oh hey there is that you GUILE&GUILT aka one of my favorite comfort fics that literally powered my two end-of-year [redacted] projects and also that [redacted] presentation and helped successfully launch the [redacted] campaign at work in December? the world willl not know BUT I DO and me and my marketing team at [redacted] salute you for your service, cali & ao3!! I think I’ve literally read this fic about 30+ times lmao

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, welcome to my stream-of-consciousness thoughts + a few (fuck jk who am i kidding a fuckton) of my favorite bits

- this has so so so many of my favorite tropes - forbidden romance, pretend dating, gonna give in just once (sike), guys who love going down on you, secret dating, YEARNING SO MUCH YEARNING, SHARING A BED, SHAKESPEAREAN SONNETS, Taking Care of Drunk!reader, impromptu fashion show?!fuckyes, misinterpretation+running away+Big Fucking Declaration of Love, talking about you in another language you don’t know, finishing each other’s sonnets!!!, scary older sister who can threaten her special forces brother, text thread chapters!!!, did I mention guys who love going dow-

- GAELIC NICKNAMES + THIEF THIEF THIEF THIEF (my dumb american ass spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to look up pronunciations on youtube and sound them out)

- soap’s sis aka reader’s bff warning her off from him? only for him fully suited up to find her wearing his shirt? is there a hotter fuckin meet-cute

- this was like the perfect mix of worldbuilding for me - fleshed out enough for me to step into and get lost in the best way, starting with the people surrounding both the reader and Soap - the reader was extremely relatable on an emotional level that I came to like her all on her own too and I was rooting for her in my head and the journey you are taken on in seeing Soap through her eyes - but ALSO the way she grows and blossoms tbh in the way she is seen by Soap AND by Pidge & co. is like just UNNNFFFFH storytelling climactic cathartic perfection for me - what is love if not to see, and be seen? anyway I’ll save waxing lyrical for reader & johnny ❤️

- there’s almost a part of me curious to see this whole story from Pidge’s POV - esp. when johnny says she kept reader away from him cos she knew he would like her - as someone who absolutely despises disappointing the people I love and have done metaphorical triple lutz backflips to avoid doing so I also deeply enjoyed the tension of reader going to pieces trying to reconcile Ye Ole How To Tell BFF I’m Fucked For (& Fucking) Her Brother AND found the ending confessions scenes so so so cathartic

- also really loved the ways reader & soap bonded over how well they each knew and loved pidge <3 the scene where johnny cries seeing reader present that shawl to her and the small and big ways reader is present in all the right ways for Pidgey totally made me tear up too - seeing someone you love love on your loved ones is such a special thing to see and I really hope it’s something everyone experiences ❤️

- the way soap’s gaze is described as basically drinking in the reader was probably one of the hottest things I’ve read - I basically re-lived how it felt to be looking at a crush and realize YOU ARE BEING LOOKED AT AS WELL - cali’s writing is basically like that scene where remy in ratatouille is shown experiencing food and flavors in 4D explosions in written form

- the little perv in me enjoyed the slightly dub-con of sleepy soap fingering reader on a cosmic and indescribable level, i knew that little shit wasn’t sleepfingering or whatever the equivalent of horny sleepwalking is and alternately this scene from soap’s pov would probably cause involuntary combustion, i dont make the rules here ok

-I went to my local sephora during lunch/coffee breaks trying to find the perfume/cologne equivalent of soap’s scent described here, that is how IRL feral this fic made me at one point…and also how i realized i do not like the scent of cloves lol

- hehehehehehe Stiff Peaks bakery

- the reader’s initial disbelief and difficulty in accepting johnny’s attraction to her - even though she notes all the little subtle tells - and her insecurity with the bekah/anjali/cherise crew is so so relatable and made me just want to alternately give her a huge hug but also at the same time do a grab her by the shoulders and give an intense pep talk complete with whiteboard erasable markered bullet points of ‘Yes You For Soap’ PLEASE See Section I, II, III, and articles A, B, C, and sub-articles 1, 2, 3, etc. etc. 

- “You regretted your decision to drag him out of the house again. You should’ve kept him all to yourself, covetous and selfish like a hoarder, locking him in like a shorn Repunzel, playing like Circe with her pigs. But, you didn’t want to be Circe. You wanted to be Penelope. Permanent, as impossible though it may have been. 

Was he Odysseus? Or Narcissus?” is one of my favorite lines in this story. books on greek mythology were the first I ever picked up as a kid in my local library growing up and reading the odyssey in high school made these references just *CHEFS KISS*

- ProjectRunawayJudgeAU!Johnny makes an appearance and I’ll just leave this quote here: ““Creepin’ Jesus! You look like if 1982 was a person, lass. Back in the room with you, mhèirleach! Christ Almighty.”

- reader & soap’s “promise” text exchanges - even when they weren’t talking -  are dipped in resin for preservation and carefully wrapped and locked away in a china cabinet in a warm and cozy and safe corner of my hearthouse, to be taken out and ruminated over on tough days for me

- I could literally hear in my head 141 mocking soap when they were singsonging the sonnet they all ended up memorizing and laughed my ass off for a good 5 min when i first read this

- another favorite verse simply because of the AUDACITY of cali to juxtapose sex+sacredness+implying soap is basically worshipping reader with his dick - “melting into you with a slick slide, trusting you implicitly, believing you like a disciple. “

- i may be a leetle bit pervy but also a big fuckin softie and I also teared a bit at johnny’s tenderness at caring for reader/141 being so happy for johnny post-apartment romp, and also at price both being there/giving space to reader when she and johnny weren’t talking ❤️

- also sidenote ahem the pricethirst that gripped my throat out of nowhere at these two sentences AND him fishing out the dogtags-

“Price held the coin up to you like the sacrament, discovering your shame, bringing your sin out into the open. In that moment, you wanted to bend down on both knees and take it into your mouth, and you wanted him to make you whole again with it. “

- I had the most delicious privilege of seeing the fics go live each chapter at a time towards the end and I gasped and screamed out loud like when I used to watch LOST episodes air live lol - those Pidge vs. Johnny arguments about his service esp. when he CALLED HER BRIGETTE had me getting up to take a walk around the house before I could continue reading lol THE DRAMA!!!! yesyesyes I felt like I was the audience in a Jerry Springer episode here

- “Ghost spoke at full volume, not caring who heard him,” this line took me out for a full minute, big “THAT’LL DO” vibes iykyk and of course him being the one to point out the mic still being on was just *CHEFS KISS* PERFECTION

- literally my entire body went up in goosebumps the first time i finished reading the scene of the mic still being on and I just kept saying OH GOD PIDGE SHE KNOWS PIDGE! FUCK! PIDGE FUCK OH NO OH GOD for a good 10 minutes

- tbh i would read a Big Slut Choir Boy Johnny fic

- fun fact, I learned what a sporran is thanks to this fic! truly, thank you fanfiction for statistically increasing my vocabulary 4000%

- now i love me the many many flavors of all the different alternate versions of soap across fanfic (pouring one out for all my fanfic writers rn) but G&G’s soap has a special place in my heart in how cali both captured his character in the games story/campaign modes and took his best and most memorable traits and built on them in the best way possible on his journey in falling for the reader and esp. in him talking about his dreams and future plans with her, esp. in light of his fate in MWIII… if you’ve ever loved someone and not had it work out and had to let them go and not only grieve their loss but the dreams and hopes and futures and the potential of everything they/we could have been, and wondered… what if? I found something very tender and healing for me in a personal way in this Johnny Lives, Loves, and Is Loved story ❤️

i made literally a throwaway paragraph comment on how this was one of my comfort fics and cali wrote one of the most beautiful nonfiction pieces of writing I’ve read in fandom (and tbh outside of fandom?!) on basically like, the heart and soul of fanfic and I encourage everyone to give it a read here (https://www.tumblr.com/the-californicationist/738127290521829376/madstronaut-this-is-one-of-the-nicest-things) and let it fill you with a warm glow like it does for me everytime I recall it ❤️

The Challenge: Comment on every fanfic you read and enjoy in the month of January.

Every chapter. Every one shot. Every drabble. Every ficlet. Whether it’s on a personal website, a blog, or an archive. Whether you’ve read it a hundred times before or you’re reading it for the first time. Whether the fic was posted years ago or minutes ago. Whether you sign your name or leave your thoughts anonymously. Whether your comment is paragraphs in length or a few short words. Comment on every fanfic you read and enjoy in the month of January.

The Philosophy: Comments are what keep a fandom thriving and growing.

We don’t see comments as a transaction. They’re not a price paid for reading a fic. We see comments as an interaction, a way of building relationships. Comments are a courtesy, not a currency. [x]

Fandom is a relationship between dozens,hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of fans, and the only way for the greater fandom relationship to function, is for those fans to interact. One way to interact is by writing and reading fanfic. A writer prompts an interaction by posting their work; it is up to the reader to then acknowledge (or not acknowledge).

As one of our favorite blogs, @ao3commentoftheday​, said: [x]

“Comment if you can, but don’t be bullied or pressured into it. A comment should be written in the same spirit as the fic itself: wanting to reach out to other people who love the same fandom as you do. It’s not easy to do that, I know, and I don’t hold it against you at all if you can’t.”

The Only Rule: Be kind.

Be kind to your fandoms’ writers.

Please note that this challenge is to “comment on every fanfic you read and enjoy in the month of January.” As our fandom forebears were fond of saying, “Don’t like, don’t read.” For FaFiCoWriMo, we have taken that one step further by saying, “Don’t like, don’t comment.”

No matter how well-intentioned, critique is useless unless it comes from a place of trust. Unless you know an author personally and they have specifically asked for your critique, please keep it to yourself.

It costs zero of your currency and zero of your time to not be a jerk.

Be kind to yourself.

If you do find yourself unable to comment on every fic (for whatever reason), remember this: we forgive you, zero judgement. [x]

[voltronxpaladin-blog]

Season Three Pidge is FANTASTIC. 

[ohposhers]

YO SOUTH PARK POST COVID BUTTERS THEORY?? LEZGO??

ok so i couldnt stop thinking about Butters and what could have happened to him and this is the best I could come up with and this depends on something very important to be plausible and that’s if Butters’ parents show up at all during the Special-- I went back and looked and I couldn’t find them but I could also have just missed them cause I’m blind who knows ANYWAY HERE’S MY GAY LITTLE THEORY?? SO I thought to myself maybe just maybe Butters had a name change because he HAD to have a name change- maybe he did something super bad and had to go under the radar. Maybe Butters killed his parents? Maybe sometime in his early youth Butters’ parents did something crazy traumatizing as we know they’re capable of doing and Butters fucking SNAPS and kills them (maybe it was an accident? Maybe it’s some mental thing like MPD? WHO KNOWS) and upon realizing what he’s done and not knowing what else to do he zooms over to the closest friend he has’ house and oh look that friend happens to be Kenny. Butters is in shambles Kenny’s like well shit and decides right then and there nows as good a time as any to ditch this pidge of a town and start doing something. Kenny gets Kevin’s help to get a fake ID and passport made with Butters’ new identity ‘Victor Chaos’ that he will be going by after they fake his own death by making it look like Butters body had also disappeared alongside his parent’s which Kenny and Butters dispose of before ditching town. Butters Stotch is dead!

This would be early on enough in their lives where come the time Kenny is a famous scientist and so is his “right hand man” that no one bats an eye in suspicion at Butters who everyone believes has been dead for decades. He’d probably have changed his look up a bit and the two have laid low (or at least Butters has) for a while, so no one recognizes him. Token who isn’t easily fooled doesn’t seem to suspect him as Butters at all when he briefly talks about him and his role as Kenny’s partner to the rest of Craig’s group.

I’d like to imagine the years of trauma and abuse caused by Butters’ parents and peers has really manifested in an unstable maybe even incredibly cold and hardened personality, but his loyalty and protectiveness over Kenny is UNTOUCHABLE and the moment Kenny helped him with the crime Butters decided to devote EVERYTHING to him and his cause, likely offering his Chaos Corp resources to help as well even?? (We do know he’s able to get a LOT of funds through the organization, maybe this is what helps Kenny start his whole science gig.) REGARDLESS it’s the two of them working their ASSES OFF to get this project going, and I’m gonna be cheeky and HC that while Butters is pretty unstable and unhinged and even intimidating really, he’s still same old bubbly sweet Butters to Kenny and Kenny alone.

Anywho skip to farther in the future where their Science work has clearly helped them make names for themselves, maybe something causes Butters to snap again and lash out/attack someone maybe even results in killing someone who knows?? Regardless he’s forced into the asylum after that and Kenny has to finish the mission on his own boo u_u  That’s the best I could come up with on a whim- I honestly feel like Butters is actually completely sane and got put into the asylum for alternative reasons like a super extra bad grounding or to keep him quiet about his and Kenny’s research/ learn about it I’m not sure BUUUUT I’m a sucker for angst and it’s fun imagining Butters did actually snap and is super unhinged now BWAHAHAHA thank you for indulging in my obsession bye watch me be so wrong come part 2

[firesquiree]

CHAPTER 1 - cr: orphan_account on ao3

Keith woke up thinking he would have a relaxing, perfect day for once. He felt cleansed, Lance being away for a week really calmed things down for Keith. But that had also made it boring.

So, with Lance back from his cousins wedding, Keith would have someone to annoy again. And that would be perfect.

He turned on his phone, turning on his MCR playlist and quickly skimming through the messages from the Voltron group chat. Luckily, he was able to find an important message in the barrage of memes.

BlackSpacePrincess: Hey, can you guys meet me @ my place after school tomorrow??? We need to talk

Allura was the most unproblematic person Keith knew, if she did fuck up, it couldn't have been that bad, right?

He stopped thinking about it and headed to school. And he just couldn't wait to see his rival again. He would never admit it, but Keith had always been just a little bit gay for Lance. Like, have you ever seen that pointy chinned, child??? That's the most attractive little shit that Keith had ever known.

Even though Lance was extremely annoying, he still lowkey loved that asshat.

So, Keith went to school, thinking about his most favorite dumbass.

The day went by faster then normal, most likely from the anticipation of what news Allura had to give out.

And the time came to head over to her house, although it was more like a mansion, everyone headed there.

They met Allura in the living room, where she and Coran sat. She looked up and smile as they entered, her and Coran getting up to allow them to sit down on the couches.

She put her hands together, smiling slightly as she cleared her throat. "Hello everyone. I need your help with something."

"Alright, everyone else can go then, I can help Allura out with my big di-" Shiro punched Lance in the arm, thankfully stopping him from saying what would have proabaly gotten himself killed.

"Anyway…" Allura continued, sending a short glare to Lance, "I may, or may not have entered all of us in a dance competition…" Everyone stared at her for a moment, disbelief settling in.

"What. Did you do Allura?" Pidge questioned, lowering her glasses. "I mean, you're joking, right?"

Allura sighed "Sadly not. The competition is in a week, and I can't go back on my word. I'm sorry."

"I can't dance! I don't have a single flexible bone in my body! I-I'll just look like a beached whale tying to get back to the ocean!" Hunk exclaimed, standing up from the couch. "You can't expect me to do this."

"Jesus Christ…" Keith spoke lowering his head into his hands, generally terrified by the the new information. "I had faith… and this… is what happens"

Lance was the only one who looked generally happy about the news. He gets to twerk and dab in front of at least one hundred people. It was his life dream, his one true goal. It was probably some of the best news he's gotten in his life.

"Come on guys, the sooner we get this done, the sooner the competition will pass and then we can all be done with this." Shiro said rising from the couch, waiting for the rest to soon join him.

They groaned picking up their bags, and followed Allura to the amphitheater so they could practice.

"Alright! We need to learn your dancing abilities. So, show us what you've got." Coran said, clapping his hands together.

Shiro was honestly the only one who didn't look like dying donkey. Hunk had no idea what he was doing, Pidge was trying to do the robot, and Lance was twerking. On Keith.

And Keith kept trying to escape, but there was non.

"I swear to fuck if you don't stop twerking on me, I'll up chuck on you're ugly ass!" Keith screeched, still trying to shove the ass of Lance away from him.

Lance giggled, continuing to grind on his best rival friend. "Hahaha, why don't ya try me bitch!"

Oh, and how Keith would try.

He stripped off his gloves and jacket, causing Lance to be confused. But even through the confusion, Lance kept grinding.

Keith ran over to his backpack, taking out a big ass liter of Coke Cola, and started chugging it.

Why he had a liter of Coke in his backpack, you may ask??? So that way he could throw up on Lance at any given moment.

Everyone stared as at him. When almost half of the soda was gone, Keith moved the bottle away from his mouth, allowing him town to breath, and then continued.

With the bottle almost gone, he stopped drinking, turning his attention to Lance, who was a few yards away.

And Keith started to run towards his significant annoyance.

He felt like his body was doused in gasoline, lit on fire and hit by truck. But none of that would stop him.

Lance, understanding how much danger he was actually in, started running away. But alas, it was too late. Keith tackled him to the ground, and began to throw up.

Keith could hear Lance groan and gag as he tried to not lay in the vomit of Keith.

When Keith had finished, he rolled off of Lance to the right side of him. "So worth it." He mumbled. Keith then proceeded to sit up, and notice the fact that everyone was staring at him in disgust.

"You two boys go and wash up! The rest of us will discuss the competition." Coran said with a weak smile.

When the boys retuned, the rest of voltron was sitting in a circle in the grass.

"Ahh there you are. Let's get you shits updated, shall we?" Allura said cheerfully, the two boys joining in the circle. "There's three different segments to the competition; one is a freestyle group dance, one is a themed group dance, which is hip hop and one is a two person ball room dancing."

Pidge decided to continue where Allura had left off. "You two fucks are gonna dance together."

Keith basically chocked on air, Lance was going into complete denial. He had to do ball room dancing??? With the kid who just threw up on him. No way in a fucking quiznak would he do that.

"What!??!?! Why can't I dance with Hunk?!?!??" He scoffed, looking at his bro "How could you."

Hunk put his hand against his check, his face in shock at the audacity that the beaty eyed child had. "It was a majority dude, I was out numbered."

Lance was about objectify more, but Shiro beat him too it. "Look, I understand you guys might not like it, but it might just make you guys become better friends."

Lance groaned, turning his attention back to Keith.

Keith at the moment was barely breathing. The thought of even being close enough to Lance to smell his axe cologne made him sick, but to be that close, even in a suggestively romantic way, made him want to die.

Maybe it was the fact that he was like, a quarter gay for that dork and getting close would be too much for him to handle. Maybe it was the thought of Keith getting close enough to Lance to feel his breath against his skin. His fingers interlocked with his own. His arms being around Keith's waist.

Maybe it were those simple thoughts that made it hard for Keith to breathe.

He felt his face get heat up, but he turned to meet Lance's gaze, which honestly didn't help at all.

Keith shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Whatever I guess, so long as I never have to be that close to this asshat ever again."

Lance puffed his cheeks, glaring at his new dance partner.

"Alright then, shall we dance?"

-

Categories:

M/MOther

Fandom:

Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationships:

Keith/Lance (Voltron)Hunk/Shay (Voltron)

Characters:

Keith (Voltron)Hunk (Voltron)Shay (Voltron)Lance (Voltron)Shiro (Voltron)Pidge | Katie HoltAllura (Voltron)Coran (Voltron)

Additional Tags:

trans!shaygenderfluid!Pidgevoltron dance auassumed depressionAbuseChild Abuse

Language:

English

Stats:

Published:2016-08-14Updated:2016-08-24Words:2281Chapters:2/?Kudos:1032Bookmarks:46Hits:15336

[harukamitsuki]

Keith does not have anger issues.

I have anger issues, though it's nowhere near as bad as my brothers' or my mum's or my dad's anger issues. Everyone in my family has anger issues - I handle it the best. And I can say with confidence that Keith does not have anger issues.

Unless Keith throws something across the room.

Unless Keith slams the table.

Unless Keith screams his head off.

Unless Keith hits someone or something.

I will always say that he does not have anger issues.

Plus, when you actually watch Voltron, you'll see that Pidge and Lance are far more volatile than Keith. Being reckless does not mean that you have anger issues. Being stubborn does not mean you have anger issues. Breaking and hitting people and things does.

Keith does not have anger issues. It's very concerning that so many people misdiagnose anger issues. If you think Keith has anger issues, you've clearly never seen anyone who does have anger issues.

If he had anger issues, he would have done much more than just argue back whenever Lance started some shit. He would be yelling and telling him to fuck off without really explaining why he's gotten so mad.

To summarise:

Lance: I hate you.

Keith: Okay, whatever.

--

Lance: I hate you.

Keith, if he had anger issues: Shut the fuck up! I hope you fucking die you asshole. Piss off!

[corvus--rex]

I don't like resolutions usually since they end up feeling so forced. So I'm not doing that, but what I am doing is instead of saying "I'm going to do xyz this year", I'm promising myself that I'm going to work on finishing things - ie, working through the backlog of yarn, sewing, cleaning, etc projects, and also all my unfinished fics that have been just sitting there half-done.

That said, I've started going through my wips folder and realized that I actually have almost half of the next chapter of Here Come the Vultures already done. I've mentioned it a few times as this is the chapter with ~1350 words dedicated to just their clothes (send help). It's probably not going to be finished for a little while, but I'm posting the first part here anyway.

The first two chapters are up on ao3 here, and the accompanying, basically unedited (and fuck does it need to be), oneshot is here. There are already two songs in this chapter, Combustion and Tragedy of the Commons. Also I do have links/reference photos of their outfits if anyone's interested

☆・* ♪ *・☆

The next outfit change went as smoothly as it could.  Keith was clinging to Lance, and Shiro was flirting with Adam, but it was still successful.  The last part of the day was the one Allura had the most anxiety over.  The fourth, and final, shoot was for their tour outfits.  They would be doing the main promo shots for the tour while in what they would be wearing on stage during the actual shows.  While they all personally picked out and bought what they were wearing, Allura kept their outfits at Oriande under lock and key until leaving for the tour.  This was the first time the six saw their clothes in person, and would be one of the last until the tour actually started.  Back in the dressing room, every section had a black garment bag and shoebox waiting for each member of Castle of Lions.  The room was silent except for the sounds of clothes changing for the next few minutes.  Even when they were done, no one left their dressing areas, taking in their new outfits.

“I, um…I am never taking these off,” Keith said to the sound of a soft swish of fabric.

When Pidge had first opened her garment bag, everyone heard, “I like this even more in person.”  A few minutes later, “Oh.  I really like this even more in person.”

A soft shifting of chains came from Matt.  “Ooh, nice.”

Shiro was still getting dressed and making frustrated grumbling sounds.  “How in the absolute fuck…ah.  Got it.”

“Oh, this is even comfier than it looks,” Hunk said appreciatively.

Lance stomped on the floor once, making chains somewhere on him rattle, and giggled.  “I Love that.”

Allura came back after what she had thought was more than enough time to find the main dressing room empty.  “Aren’t you six dressed yet?” she asked.

“Oh.  Shit.  Sorry.  I think we all got distracted,” Lance said.

All six members of Castle of Lions walked out of their dressing areas at the same time, looking each other over when they gathered in a loose circle.

Hunk always favored practicality with his fashion.  His hooded sleeveless top was a textured black, leather accents at the shoulders, antiqued brass rings and buckle on his right, all brought together by the front lacing.  He always wore shorts on stage, and these ones were covered in zippers and buckles, the cargo pockets featuring their own leather straps, studs, and rings, all of the metal hardware in the same antiqued brass as his top.  Finishing his outfit were thick-soled, combat-style boots that featured a pair of wide straps, their hardware in antiqued brass as well.

Beside Hunk was Matt, who had also opted for a lack of sleeves, although he cared far, far less for practicality.  A tight-fitting tank top sat under the mesh overlay, the solid black broken up by two diagonal lengths of lacing in bright silver chain.  Skin tight black pants had a subtle sheen to them, two exposed silver zippers over the right pocket, but it was the V-shaped lacing over both knees that made them out of the ordinary.  At their core, Matt’s boots weren’t dissimilar from Hunk’s, but where Hunk’s had two thick, buckled straps, Matt’s had five, all with bright silver buckles, complete with grinning skulls in profile.

Taking up Matt’s other side was Shiro.  His outfit was overall more subtle than either Matt or Hunk, and the details were far less likely to be noticed on stage.  At a distance, his top looked like not much more than a long-sleeved black tee.  Up close, the asymmetrical hem was obvious, as was the black lacing on both his right shoulder and left side from ribs to hem, and the fact that it was just a little sheer.  The more unique feature was at the bottom of the sleeves, which ended in a thumb hole and a sort of half glove up his index fingers.  Shiro kept his tight black jeans simple only featuring a patch with pewter D-rings on his right hip and a buckled strap around his right thigh that connected to a black chain which clipped to a belt loop.  All of the deceptive simplicity let his boots take the spotlight.  Knee-high black leather, three thin pewter-buckled straps, layered leather that swept up to his calf, and black leather lacing that stopped just below the top two straps.

Pidge was the most colorful of the band.  While her pants would be taken over her cold, dead body, she allowed herself to indulge in her secret love for dresses on stage.  This one was deep emerald velvet, black spaghetti straps disappearing into the black ruffled trim along the neckline.  The skirt ended at mid-thigh, but the deep, black lace trim brought it almost to her knees.  Her favorite lace-trimmed black velvet choker fit perfectly, as did the black and green spiderweb-patterned, elbow-length fingerless gloves topped with wide buckled straps.  One thing she would never compromise on were her shoes.  Giant chunky 10cm heels and thick platforms every time.  It was no different for the knee-high black leather boots with full lacing and three buckled straps that finished off her outfit.

Lance stood between Pidge and his mate.  Much like Hunk and his shorts or Pidge’s boots, Lance had his own signature piece.  For him it was black damask dress shirts – which started when Keith once told him just how damn good he looked in them.  Like every other one he owned, this one had been tailored to his broad shoulders and narrow waist.  It was left untucked with a pair of points dipping down at both the front and back.  The long sleeves echoed those points, finishing the deep, turned cuffs.  Lance usually went for the more traditional button-down, but this one had a zipper, intentionally left partially open and exposing his collarbones and the tattoo-wreathed mating mark that sat just above them, blue-highlighted black wrought iron curling and twisting around the scar Keith left there two years earlier.  His flair for drama continued with tight black pants with lacing from hem to thigh up the right leg, more lacing on his left hip, and a leather buckled strap wrapping all the way around the same thigh.  Rounding out his outfit were black combat-style boots like Hunk and Matt, with a pair of buckled straps, but it also revealed where the rattling had come from – several heavy pewter chains wrapping the back of each boot, just for that little extra bit of chaos.

Completing the circle was Keith.  Narrow, grommeted leather bands that ran from hem to left shoulder framed the cutout and made up half of the wide v-neckline of his black light, woven cotton top.  He’d picked it even knowing that its long sleeves were inevitably going to be pulled up under the heat of the stage lights, despite the lacing that ran 4 inches up from the bottom of each sleeve, and that the leather and pewter left shoulder weren’t going to make it any better.  Inside the cutout was a layer of sheer black under distressed deep red lace, black lacing crossing over and connecting the bands.  The lower neckline showed off his own mating mark, wrapped in a similar tattoo to his mate’s, the more lace-like wrought iron design highlighted in a deep rose-violet.  Individually, most of the components of Keith’s black painted-on jeans were nothing out of the ordinary for him.  Three buckled straps, one the the thigh, two around his calf, exposed side zipper with spiked studs and dangling zipper pull, and the fact that the pants themselves were shredded, not just ripped, were all things that could be seen on any number of his extensive collection.  But these had, attached to a narrow belt threaded through a second set of beltloops that sat just below the usual ones, a pleated half-skirt that wrapped around his left hip and fell to the knee.  Not much could top that, and he kept it simple with his choice of footwear.  Black leather ankle boots, with two studded straps, studded heels, and a 3cm platform and its 8cm heel completed his outfit.

They all looked each other over appreciatively, some more so than others – Lance and Keith could not take their eyes off each other.  The rest of Castle of Lions ignored them, while Allura had gone back to the interview schedule for the rest of the week.

Lance took a step into Keith’s personal space, something that didn’t exist when it came to his mate.  “Fuck, you look good.”

“Yeah?” Keith answered, closing the distance, “So do you.”

“Oh my god,” Pidge groaned, no longer able to ignore them, “You’re practically eye-fucking each other.  Save it for later.  Way.  Later.”

“Aw, you’re no fun, Pidgey,” Lance said, not looking away.  He slipped his hands around Keith’s waist, nuzzling his omega’s mating mark, despite the scent blocker.

The purr that rolled out of Keith was a soft rumble, the interested and inviting hum that accompanied it anything but innocent.  He slid his hands up his alpha’s chest and around his neck, and pulled Lance in for a kiss, the taste of a promise on his lips.

Shiro’s voice broke them apart.  “Oh for fuck’s sake.  Do I really have to pull you two apart like horny teenagers?”

“Nothing you haven’t threatened before,” Keith shot back although any heat in his voice was muffled by Lance’s neck.

“Alright, last shoot.  And if we want to end on time, we need to go now,” Allura said then turned and left the room, not waiting.

Keith refused to let go, even when Pidge, Hunk, and Matt all followed Allura.  He squawked indignantly at his brother’s arms around his torso, pulling him away from his mate.  Shiro didn’t stop, holding Keith off the floor, leaving him to hang there, looking every bit like a disgruntled cat.  Lance, of course, found this hilarious, but took pity on his mate, rescuing Keith from Shiro.  Keith sent a pathetic scowl Shiro’s way, wrapping himself around Lance as they left to catch up with the others.

They missed the first few quiet notes filtering down the hall, nearly running into their bandmates who had stopped at the end of the corridor.  But then they heard the next echoing chords, what they knew were two different guitars playing together in perfectly synchronized tandem, a keyboard setting the stage.  The seven of them fanned out, Keith tucking himself against his mate, all watching the video playing of a concert from their last tour.

Lance was closer to the center of the stage and Keith, who held his own blood red and black guitar.  As the music picked up, another stage light came on, illuminating more than just the matepair, Shiro emerging from the shadows.  The other lights gradually came on, revealing Hunk, Matt, and Pidge.  Keith and Lance alternated between playing together and separately.  When asked later, they said that that part wasn’t the most difficult.  The hardest part came when all six of them played in total synchronicity, each part keeping perfect time with the others.  Keith picked up the melody, switching off with Lance not long after, leaving his alpha to finish the song.

The few seconds of silence between the end of one song and the beginning of another was filled with the roaring scream of the crowd, quieting when the first notes began.  Keith’s smoky vocals quickly joined the instrumentals.  Unlike the last song, he returned to his usual show behavior, wandering the stage, never staying in one place for long.  The rest of Castle of Lions joined in for the backup vocals during the chorus, but the crowd exploded again at the beginning of the third verse when Matt stepped up to provide the growling lyrics.  The song began its path to the end, Keith repeating the second half of the chorus, Lance layering over him as that section was split in half.  The video stopped only seconds from the end when Adam and Curtis realized they were no longer alone in the studio.

[queerquintessence]

heyo

so i recently have been obsessed with the idea of the voltron paladins living in the same house together sooo

i may or may not have spent the last like 3 hours working on headcannons

the characters in the house are keith, lance, hunk, pidge, and allura

(since they’re all relatively similar in age)

so sadly no shiro or coran but

anyway

yeah here they are

(once again a bit unorganized but it’s whatev)

• first off allura and lance are both housewifes

• and neither of them take any shit from the others

• allura: keith, could you pick your feet up? i’m trying to vacuum down here

• keith, sitting on the couch: couldn’t you just do it later

• allura:

• allura: move your feet or i’m telling lonce you have a crush on him

• hunk does the dishes most of the time because he’s mainly the one who cooks their food

• but they also alternate on a schedule

• lance, sighing dramatically: i do everything around here! keith, when was the last time you washed the dishes?

• keith: i literally washed them last night

• lance: well you missed a plate so it doesn’t count

• keith takes out the trash a lot except he doesn’t wear shoes so his feet are always dirty

• lance yells at him for it

• whenever lance takes out the trash he puts on whoever’s shoes are closest

• pidge: lance are those my shoes?

• lance, tiptoeing in sneakers that are 3 sizes too small: maybe

• the couch that they own is too small to fit everyone

• they either argue for 10 minutes over who gets to sit where or they just pile on top of each other

• pidge usually lays on top of someone’s lap when it gets crowded

• she can just flop on top of someone and they’ll just let her- no words spoken

• keith sits on the armrests and everyone gives him shit for it

• lance: aren’t you uncomfortable?

• keith: i like sitting here

• lance: alright edgelord

• lance lays with his legs sprawled on top of the couch

• sometimes pidge will lay on lance who will have his legs on keith

• hunk is fine with sitting on the floor but even he’ll start arguing over the good spot on the couch

• hunk: lance, buddy, you sat there last time- why not give someone else a turn?

• lance: hunk when was the last time you did your own laundry? huh. that’s what i thought

• dinners pretty chaotic

• that’s usually when they have their debates

• lance, pounding his fist on the table: mac and cheese is to be eaten with a fork and that’s that

• pidge: why the hell would you use a fork? spoons are just fine in my opinion

• keith, silently munching on his food knowing he eats it with a knife:

• pidge: alright, we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room

• everyone:

• pidge:

• pidge: keith, you gotta stop putting corn syrup on your peanut butter sandwiches it’s fucking weird

• allura: everyone in favor of limiting lance’s shakira privileges say I

• keith, pidge, and hunk: I

• lance, who’s totally offended: wh

• luckily, they all have their own rooms

• except the walls are super thin

• lance scream singing beyoncé: GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW YOUR LOVES GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW

• keith: why has god forsaken me

• even when they try to play music relatively quiet it can still faintly be heard

• muffled music from keith’s room: when i was, a young boy

• pidge: HA fucking EMO

• they all have Alexa’s in their rooms

• and pidge has access to all of them on her laptop

• pidge: psst- hey lance, watch this

• pidge: *fast typing on laptop*

• blasting from keith’s room: COUNTRYYY ROAAADS TAKE ME HOOOOME

• muffled keith screaming: pIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

• in the morning during breakfast

• allura: why has lonce not come out of his room yet?

• pidge: hang on, i’ll wake him up

• lance’s alexa in the distance: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH YOU’RE A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH

• lance’s startled scream is then followed by a loud thud

• once a week they have a movie night

• keith: lance i am not watching a cheesy romcom for the 2nd week in a row

• lance: i have to listen to ‘welcome to the black parade’ eighteen times a day sit the fuck down

• keith, crossed arm for the duration of movie night: this love story is completely unrealistic

• everybody shushes him on cue

• they also have monthly sleepovers in the living room where they giggle like middle schoolers

• keith knocks over an entire bowl of popcorn

• allura discovers the concept of a pillow fight and effortlessly knocks everybody to the ground

• lance flops on the air mattress and launches pidge across the room

• while everyone is trying to sleep

• lance: guys guys i’m gonna say something

• lance:

• lance: mayonnaise

• everybody loses their shit laughing because it’s 2 in the morning and they’re sleep deprived

• the bathroom sink is a mess

• their toothbrushes are color coordinated

• since they have to fit so much shit on the sink they have specific spots where they put their stuff

• pidge: hunk, your toothbrush is in my spot

• hunk: what? no- this corner of the sink is mine

• the debate results in all of them crowded in the bathroom arguing for 10 minutes

• keith: i don’t even remember having a designated spot on the sink

• allura: we need a toothbrush holder

• sometimes they do their nightly routines together

• which is also chaotic

• lance is applying a face mask, which drips onto pidge’s arm

• pidge then jerks her arm away- hitting keith’s toothbrush

• it then catapults off the counter and sticks to the wall

• keith: i left the room for one second what the hell did you do

• i’ve seen this headcannon somewhere before and i love it so i’m elaborating

• whenever keith is tired he’s giddy and hyper and loopy

• keith after not having a good nights sleep for 3 weeks, getting a running start and flipping onto the couch: a woop

• pidge: what in fucks name are you doing

• lance is the same exact way when he’s tired so they act like complete and utter idiots

• keith: lance, hey lance guess what

• lance: what

• keith:

• lance:

• they both burst out laughing

• lance: keith, omg you know what- keith rhymes with teeth

• keith:

• keith: holy shit

• eventually they both burn out and are just exhausted

• lance with his face planted in the carpet: uuuggghghggg

• allura: you finally done?

• lance: *angry muffled grumbling*

• pidge tends to fall asleep anywhere in the house

• usually with her computer on her lap or nearby

• she’s usually discovered the next morning

• hunk walking into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes: kinda want some orange juice

• pidge is just asleep on top of the fridge

• everyone else eating breakfast at the table

• keith: has anyone seen pidge?

• soft snoring is heard from under the table

• keith: ah

• they just put up with each other’s bullshit all day everyday and i love it

• lance, slamming his bedroom door open: everyone in my room i had a nightmare and need affection

• everyone emerges from their rooms grumbling and all file into lance room with their pillows and stuffed animals

• pidge trying to keep the remote away from lance: go long, hunk!

• keith appearing in the doorway and getting hit straight in the forehead with a remote: fUCK

• lance: are those my socks?

• keith: huh? oh, i dunno they were in my laundry pile

• lance: no those are totally my socks give them back right now

• when they all moved in together it was before keith and lance started dating so obviously there was shipping

• pidge, bursting into hunk’s room: i have klance tea

• hunk: spill

• lance: wh- keith and i are NOT dating

• pidge: you guys literally live together!

• lance: WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER

• allura, to hunk during dinner: i don’t know about you, but it seems to me like keith has a thing for lance

• keith: princess you’re not even whispering we can all hear you

• keith and lance secretly holding hands under the dinner table while lance is telling a story

• lance, being dramatic and expressive, lifts his hands in the air to accidentally reveal that his hand is intertwined with keith’s and its immediate chaos

• keith letting go immediately: wH HUH HOW DID THAT GET THERE

• pidge: I FUCKING TOLD YOU

anywayyy that’s all

i literally love this so much so don’t be surprised if i come up with some more later

yeah

bye

[just-my-fandom]

Could we possibly get some Paladin dating HC's? (with your choice of characters)

Date started; January 15, 2021

Date posted; January 28, 2021

Oof, I haven’t written for them in such a long time. Might be a little rusty. I did my main three favorites, Keith, Pidge and Hunk. Xx

We’re finally getting things posted, folks.

Keith

You and Keith met before the paladins were put together.

Went through the Garrison together; both hotheads- and somehow you both clicked

Maybe it’s cause you both got a punch out of James Griffin

When the team was brought together and Allura and Coran started training everyone, you and Keith would share looks of dread.

The team didn’t even know you two were together tbh

Lance found out first ofc

He’d run into Keith’s room to wake him up to go to the upside down pool or something

And find you and Keith both in Keith’s bed

Lances first reaction is shouting at you and waking you up, you confused and drowsy while Keith is just irritated for getting woken up,

Keith quickly realizes you don’t have a shirt on

Protect Keith where he pulls you against him and demands Lance to leave in the next five seconds

The team lets you hear it at breakfast

“Since when was this happening?” -Pidge

“Since before we even knew you existed,” -You

“Okay, not completely surprised. You’re literally different genders of each other,” -Hunk

“I thought you guys were siblings,” -Lance, while face palming

The team then realizes that the way Keith is protective over you isn’t just friendship

When you find out Keith is part Galra, you honestly aren’t phased,

“This doesn’t bother you?” -Keith

“Should it?” -You

You meeting Krolia and getting along instantly

“What do you see in him?” -Krolia

“Honestly, idk,” -You

“I’m literally right here,” -Keith

When the team sets down on Earth, you and Keith don’t really have anyone to come home to besides the Commander

(Your family left you on your own at a young age. Another reason why you get along with Keith)

You, Keith and James all making up

James teasing about how you and Keith finally getting together

Ofc Keith gets jealous once you and James become actual friends

“Babe, it’s only you,” -You

Once Earth is saved, you and Keith get a place together and just settle on it being just you two

Plus Kosmo ofc

Pidge

You met Pidge when the Paladins were brought together

You figured out pretty quickly that Pidge was indeed a female

You promised to keep it secret until she was ready to out the rest of the team ofc.

Y’all didn’t realize your feelings for one another until one of you almost died on a mission

After that, you both struggle with separation anxiety for each other

While it’s cute you guys are always at the hip, it can get annoying sometimes when they need one of you specifically for a part of a mission

You meet her family when you all touch down to Earth.

Pidges mother is already in love with you.

Matt just loves the fact that he basically has two sisters now

Her dad is happy as long as Pidge is happy

You both definitely cry tears of joy when Zarkon is defeated.

Hug each other for hours.

Once Earth is saved, you and Pidge get an apartment together.

Snuggles

Kisses

Stealing Pidges glasses although they fuck up your vision

The cute shit you know?

Hunk

You and Hunk grew up together.

Went to the Garrison together, got lost in space together, you know the drill.

It takes a lot of time to get you two to actually start dating.

You’re worried your mental health will break you two apart after being away from home for so many years

He’s worried of being rejected and losing your friendship of over ten years.

You don’t actually start “dating” until Hunk finds you homesick, and one thing leads to another and you’re kissing.

Lots of teary giggles in that moment.

“Wait, you like like me?”

“Yes, Hunk, I like like you,”

You and Hunk cook together. Him meals and you sweets.

You get low key jealous when Hunk tells you about Shay.

“You’re not gonna ditch me for her, are you?”

“Babe, no one can replace you,”

His mother is ecstatic when she finds out you’re together

“Dios mio, finally!!” [Oh my god]

“Mom,”

Hunk proposes to you literally during battle.

“Y/N, if we make it out of here, Imma marry you,”

“Are you seriously proposing right now?”

“Yes?”

“Guess we gettin’ married then,”

You do. Like literally two weeks after battle.

Y’all would have cute kids no joke.

Okay I’m done.

[vldkeith]

keithtober💢🎃🔪 day 31: halloween 🎃🍬 🐈‍⬛🔮

a/n: thank you everyone for sticking with me this keithtober!! i hope you enjoyed all these mini (and some not-so-mini) fics! love u keith, and happy halloween everyone :) oh! and if you haven't, please leave kudos on ao3 for this series! ty!

🔗read on ao3

content included: halloween party, sappy klance

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Keith shifts his drink around in its cup, the ice cubes tinkling against the glass. It’s apple cider and fireball—the alcohol Keith likes best and is still generally in the spirit of things. Right now, he’s hidden in the shadows at Shiro’s (okay, it’s more like Adam’s) annual Halloween party, hoping to avoid the various Garrison employees littered about the place.

It’s not really his thing, suffice it to say. Costumes were required, too, which is even worse; Lance coaxed Keith into a cat costume somehow, so Keith still has tiny little black cat ears perched on his head. He tore the tail off an hour ago.

Keith sighs, takes another sip of his drink, appreciating the heat it brings to his body. Speaking of Lance, he disappeared ten minutes ago to go socialize, or whatever it is extroverts do. Keith glares out into the crowd, searching for his wayward boyfriend. Honestly, how can Lance enjoy doing shit like this? It’s exhausting. He once again longs to be in Pidge’s place—she had left the party an hour after it had started, citing a want to go watch horror movies all night instead of pal around with people she barely knows.

Pidge is such a smart person. Keith should be more like Pidge.

Suddenly, as Keith is wiping his gaze lazily through the heads of people, he spots it—Lance’s brown hair poking out from his blue witch hat. Straightening up, Keith downs the rest of his drink and sets it on the table. Time to confront his boyfriend for so rudely leaving him to the wolves.

No, literally. Some guy in a werewolf costume who was, like, twice Keith’s age had stopped by to try and chat him up. Keith wants to kill and murder.

Keith taps Lance’s shoulder insistently when he arrives, shooing away whoever he was talking to. Lance starts and quickly turns around, mouth widening into a grin when he sees Keith.

“Keith! I was just talking about you, actually—”

“You left.”

Try as he might, Keith can’t keep himself from pouting a little as he talks. It’s not that he’s incapable of being alone—he is very capable, thank you very fucking much—but he has kind of gotten used to having Lance’s company at big events, having him as a safe haven amongst all the strangers and conversations and mingling. He doesn’t need Lance, but he sure does want him. Especially on his favorite holiday.

Lance’s expression softens. “Aw, sorry, babe, I just had a few people I wanted to talk to, and I figured you wouldn’t want to deal with being dragged along.”

A sigh breezes past Keith’s lips. “Makes sense,” he mutters, stepping closer to Lance and quickly circling his arms around him. “Are you done yet, though?”

Lance chuckles, returning Keith’s hug automatically. “Yeah, I think so. Good timing.  Told you you were a natural familiar to my witch,” he says, releasing Keith with a wink. Keith rolls his eyes.

“Shut up. You’re only the main character for tonight, you better enjoy it.”

Lance laughs, the sound musical and comforting, and entwines his hand with Keith’s, tugging them further away from the crowds of people in giant, obstructing costumes. “I’ll enjoy anything as long as you’re by my side, baby,” he says smugly, earning himself a slap on the arm for his cheek.

Keith gets led to the loungeroom of this rented space, a grand area with a sparkling chandelier, plentiful jack-o-lanterns, and cobwebs spread across every random service they can be spread across. There’s a table of refreshments, but no bar—no apple cider fireball for Keith. At least, not here.

The couches are a plush orange, arranged carefully in the middle of the room atop a purple rug, giving the place a cheesy, movie-like Halloween vibe. Keith likes it. It’s certainly better than the ballroom they’d been in until now.

(The expensive venue shows quite obviously that Adam received help from the Garrison with throwing this party.)

The second they reach the couches, Lance lets go of Keith’s hand and collapses down onto one of them, though he’s careful to leave space next to him for Keith, who takes it. Immediately, Keith lays his head down on Lance’s shoulder, allowing himself a moment of true relaxation. Lance’s hand strays to his hair, playing with it while being careful not to mess with the cat headband.

Keith very much wishes Lance would mess with the cat headband just so he has an excuse to take it off, but, ah, c’est la vie. Another time, maybe.

“This is my first time going to a Halloween party with a date,” Lance says suddenly, his hands never ceasing their stroking. Keith perks up slightly with interest.

“Really?” Keith had been under the impression that Lance had scores of dates in his past—boyfriends, girlfriends, whoever. Every time Lance proves that wrong, Keith is surprised; not because Lance seems like that type of person, but because Keith can’t fathom the idea that not everybody wants him all to themselves all the time.

Lance nods, a little sheepish. “Yeah. Never had a boyfriend before you. And none of my girlfriends lasted till Halloween.”

Weird, Keith thinks, and then jumps as Lance starts laughing. Wait, had he said that out loud.

“So glad you think my lack of a dating life is weird,” Lance comments playfully, tugging harder on a strand of Keith’s hair. Keith buries his face into Lance’s chest, embarrassed.

“You’re not weird,” he says. “I just meant, like—it’s weird that nobody would want to go to a Halloween party with you! That’s all.” Lance keeps laughing, despite Keith’s words; Keith swats at him uselessly.

“Thank you,” Lance manages, smile still present on his face even after the laughter has subsided. “I’m, ah, glad you think so. I hope I’m good company.”

“You are.” Keith snuggles closer into Lance’s side, utterly unconcerned about PDA. “Even if you made me dress up as a cat and then left me alone for five thousand hours.”

“As if. Needy.”

Keith rolls his eyes but doesn’t deign that with a response, content to rest his head on Lance and feel the grounding sensation of Lance’s hand wrapping around his waist, holding him close. Mummies and ghosts and worn-out celebrities mingle around them, unaware of the small bubble Keith and Lance have created for themselves.

Keith loves it that way. He loves being Lance’s one and only, on his favorite holiday, curled up and feeling safe even though he’s in a public, crowded place.

“Obviously, you’re the first person I’ve brought to one too,” he says after a moment, looking up at Lance. He sees Lance quirk a smile, and love swells through him. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. Not ever.”

Lance blinks a lot, then clutches Keith tighter to himself, kissing the top of his head tenderly. “You’re so cheesy,” he says, the warmth thick in his voice, drawing a smile to Keith’s face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Keith says, zero hesitation, brimming with absolute certainty. Maybe it’s the fireball. Keith doesn’t think so, though. He thinks it’s just Lance.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

☕️ko-fi - so i can buy all the on-sale candy tomorrow fsdjgfsd 🍬

[whatthehelliswrongwithme]

Voltron Part 28

Everyone says that S7 and S8 are bad. But at least they dont have this stupid half-season thing going on. Season 6, episodes 5+6! These ones were pretty wild. Let's go!:

The aaangst! So much aaaangst!

Also. Congatulations, it’s a Sheith!

Keith once again went off on his his own because of Shiro...

Colourful Ty Lee, Big Gal! Don’t call Shiro “it”. He’s our fucking space daddy!

Space witch calling Keith the “Red Paladin” is literally me. Like. Guys, you’ve had your new lions long enough! Colour coordinate accordingly!

This entire episode, I'm just that meme, “Hey. Check out how hard I can cry”

Stone Cold Bitch is hesitant to shoot Keith! The brOTP continues!

Is the virus affecting the castle supposed to be created by Shiro/space witch? And therefore it knows what Pidge would do?

Lotor don’t talk to your mother like that. She may be an ass, but you’re the bigger ass

Lotor got his girlsquad back, eventhough he doesn't deserve them

OH FUCK! OH SHIT! OH FUCKING SHIT! OH SHITTING FUCK!

That stupid fucking clone theory got it right!

AND I FUCKING HATE THAT!

NO!!!! THAT'S DUMB! I DON'T LIKE THAT

Okay. First of all: How did people think of this theory? I only knew that it existed because of old Voltron-fandom videos on YouTube. Did I miss so much foreshadowing?

Second: I absolutely hate this. I want MY Shiro. Not some stupid clone

Third: That discovery scene was really well done! Kudos to the people responsible

(Fourth: There probably exist a Sheith Gangbang fic on AO3 based on this scene. And i will find it)

It’s time for more ANGST!

That fight scene is SO anime

Tam Voltron, don’t fucking mistrust Shiro (even though you now know that the virus is his doing)

Did Keith just have goddamn yellow eyes? It’s probably a Galra thing, but I just wanna send him to an optometrist

“Shiro”, honey. That “Your parents abandoned you”-thing won’t work on Keith. He basically just had a 2 year pep talk with his mom

I know it’s an animation thing, to show that Keith's breathing heavily. But the Paladins armor must be really shitty if it just bends like that

Keith said “I love you”. I repeat: Keith said “I love you”

(I know it won’t be canon because apparently !No! shippers were happy with the ending. But just let me have this)

And their backstory is so cute!!!

Is Shiro good again? Because of the power of love, or something like that?

God. This episode was just an emotional roller coaster...

.-•-°-•-.-•-°-•-.-•-°-•-.-~☆

Hey, it's the spirit realm where Shiro fought Zarkon!

It's good-haircut-Shiro!

God. Him telling Keith he died broke my fucking heart...

Sooooo. What are you gonna do with "Shiro" ?

~I predicted it~ ~It's time for some Allura-angst because of this whole situation with Lotor~

Is it bad that I don't feel that sorry for her? Because, like. Lotor was obviously still an evil ass

And being a Leader, she should have a better judge of character

But. At least we got a good Allurance moment out of that

Big Gal and colourful Ty Lee are suprisingly okay with siding with Lotor again. That's either non-developed character motivation. Or part of some greater scheme(?)

Moustache man, sorry but I do not care about your b-plot of trying to fix the castle.

(But also: Good for you, for living this ~Disney princess life~ with all these animal companions)

Lotor. I don't think that anyone still believes that you're a good guy

Does Allura get to kill Lotor?

His reaction to being compared with Zarkon sure was something. Dude got some serious daddy-issues to work through

Wow, Lotor you're such a great guy~♡. Talking about, being the Altean's great leader and erasing Allura+her dad from history. Such a good guy~ ^^

And the girlsquad abandoned him again. Nevermind

Why did Lotor decide to have his 99cent-version of Voltron be a scalie?

It's kinda sad that Keith has to listen to his friends potentially dying.... But I'm also pretty impressed that he's still getting signal all the way in space...

Shiro said his line! "Patience yields focus".

And now Keith had his magical-girl transformation sequence with the black lion!

So the final episode gonna be an epic mecha battle? Again? Like in season 2?

Is Allura gonna "die"? Again? Like in every other season-finale-episode?

Also they still have to figure out, what to do about this entire Shiro and "Shiro"-thing

[romelle]

Your hc's are amazing and I keep going back and rereading them alskdjsk do u have any personal favorites? For anyone? Youre just really funny and I love seeing your posts!!

!! that makes me so happy to hear <3 i don't really have any favourites, but since i’m in certain type of a mood, here's some pining lance 😖🌈 ☄👨🏽‍🚀

back at the garrison, shiro would always tell keith that he needs to branch out. keith impulsively decides to deal with this by just saying something to that one cute guy who keeps staring at him, and then being done with it

keith, smiling as he gets out of the simulator: good luck trying to beat my score

lance, who is not at all prepared to deal with the fact that he found that attractive: he thinks he's just SO much better than me, huh? i bet he's trying to intimidate me into crashing. i bet he wants to make me look stupid. well not gonna happen! i'm gonna beat this guy so hard

keith, oblivious: i think that went well. enough branching out for the month.

in the end, lance is so riled up that he does, in fact, crash. thus, the epic (one-sided) rivalry is born.

keith, after the bonding moment: i really thought something would change, but then he said he doesn't even remember

hunk, who has already had a hauntingly similar conversation with lance after they rescued shiro: ah, yes. in the field, we call this a mutual pining slow burn.

as soon as keith does anything even remotely cool lance just. stops working. out of rage, though, of course! how dare keith one-up him

keith: (slides down to expertly avoid the training bot’s blow, jumps back up onto his feet, and slices its head off)

lance: quit showing off, keith!

lance: ...also, entirely unrelated, but can we maybe end the training sequence? i need to sit down, stat.

the night after the lion switch he wakes up at 3am in cold sweat and goes knocking at hunk's door because "oh shit, oh fuck. wake up man. i'm the future mr. red lion. no wait don’t throw me out, this is serious stuff!"

keith, still in his black undersuit, hair dishevelled: good work today, team. everyone feeling alright?

pidge: actually, i think that lance is having some breathing issues

hunk: oh, yeah, it looks pretty bad. keith, as the leader, maybe you should give him a mouth to mouth? just in case

lance: you're both getting your BFF keychains confiscated

keith tries to help him get the hang of his new sword, except lance simply cannot! focus! with keith standing so close to him! the deadly altean broadsword itself is fine, but keith might actually be the end of him

keith, breath warm against lance's neck, not even trying to do anything: think you got it?

lance:

lance: i didn't get a single thing, actually. explain more.

for some reason, which he refuses to explore, lance is ITCHING to see what keith would look like in his jacket. except, you can't exactly just ask your bro to wear your clothes, can you? he has to be sneaky about it

lance, rambling: you know what'd be, like, sooo funny? if you wore my jacket. because...uh. because you're just so short! super short. yeah. haha. i bet it'd look so stupid on you. i bet it'd be huge

keith: ....you're barely two inches taller than me

lance: do you want it or not

keith, already slipping his own jacket off: i don't even care. hand it over

lance talks big game, but the second he catches real feelings it's panic mode time

it probably isn't even that big of a deal, though, right? so what if he thinks keith is moderately attractive and mildly fun to be around! it's not like he wants to run his fingers through his hair while they look at the stars and talk about whatever, or anything. or like he wants to kiss the back of his neck. or hold his stupid hand. or-

also, listen. lance might be handsome, charming, suave and loved by grandmas across the universe, but whenever people actually flirt back with him his primary reaction is (surprised pikachu face)

lance: watch your mouth, mullet

keith: and what if i want to watch yours instead?

lance:

lance: not gonna lie, that's not how this conversation went when i practiced it in the mirror. i am at loss here

shiro and hunk have weekly meetings (read as: support groups) to compile all the details of keith and lance’s respective venting sessions. the general consensus is that once those two finally get their shit together, their hypothetical best men's wedding speeches are going to be a riot

[willadisastercry]

Lance ignores his asthma and Coran is not willing to be an accomplice pt. 2

It’s a race against the clock as Lance’s lungs worsen and his team scrambles to come up with a remedy before it’s too late. And though this whole mess certainly could’ve been avoided had he been upfront about his situation to begin with, his team will have to save the scolding for when Lance can focus on something other than the pain of trying to force air into his rapidly constricting airways. Altean technology works fast, but what if fast isn’t fast enough?

Part 1 / Part 2

“D’you check these yet?” Hunk asked as he threw open the topmost drawer of the in-wall storage space in Lance’s cabin.

“No, and it’s not in here either... I don’t understand wh—shit!” Keith cursed as he knocked over the trash can beside Lance’s nightstand and began scooping the contents back up.

“I don’t know where it could possibly be if—“

“—found it...” Keith interrupted as he held up the inhaler that had fallen out with the rest of the trash.

“Did you just get that from the... don’t you dare tell me it’s... oh, quiznak!”

“We’ve gotta tell Shiro...”

Keith was scared that Hunk would actually cry with the way his body tensed and his eyes glossed over.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Coran will know what to do,” Keith offered as he forwent cleaning up the rest of the mess he made for the sake of time.

“Bring that with you, maybe it can help him figure something out,” Hunk said after a second of staring blankly before he turned on his heel and joined Keith in a mad dash back to the training deck.

When they finally made it back they wished they’d never left.

Lance was collapsed onto his forearms with a very distraught Shiro rubbing circles on his back as he struggled to take in heaving breaths. He hadn’t even realized they’d returned until Shiro spoke up.

“Thank god you guys are back, just toss it—”

“It’s empty, this was his last inhaler...” Keith offered for the look of utter despair on Shiro’s face as Hunk sunk down next to them and placed one hand beside Shiro’s on his back and wrapped the other around Lance’s, receiving a weak squeeze in thanks for the small comfort.

“You’re gonna be fine dude... Coran and Allura are going to help, they can fix this. Just keep breathing as deep as you can,” he repeated over and over as Lance’s chest continued to hitch, the wheezes so loud and guttural now as his lungs worsened and his body grew more exhausted.

Understanding washed over Shiro all at once and then he was moving, maneuvering Lance’s struggling body despite the unwillingness of his lax limbs.

He was too exhausted to do much of anything aside from keep his chest rising and follow whatever direction his pliant frame was guided, letting himself be pushed back onto his heels as hands clasped his forearms and settled on his back to keep him from tipping over.

Every muscle in his abdomen was screaming. A similar tension burning up his neck and seeping into the sinews between his shoulder blades that made his head feel way too heavy to sit atop his shoulders. After not even thirty ticks of trying to summon the strength to keep it up he let it hang forward, the hands on him tightening their grips when he did.

He was extremely grateful they couldn’t see his face anymore because tears were beginning to form quicker than they could fall and he was sure he would have been fully sobbing at that point if he’d had any energy to spare.

“We’re meeting everyone at the infirmary then, you guys run ahead and let Coran know,” Shiro ordered as he motioned for Hunk to take hold of Lance while he turned away and crouched.

With some help he rose on shaking legs, Keith rushing to support his other side when his oxygen deprived legs protested the action.

“Woah, we’ve got you... thanks Keith...”

Their hands under his armpits kept him standing long enough to collapse onto Shiro’s back.

He literally only had the energy after that to throw his arms over Shiro’s shoulders and nestle his chin securely in the space between his own bicep and Shiro’s neck before his body sagged against his leader like dead weight.

“Go! I’m right behind you,” he shouted, his voice dark and fearful.

He could feel Lance straining against him as he followed after them, could hear the way his congested airways sputtered each time he tried to breathe.

Shiro made his way with steady urgency, not exactly jogging but not walking either, the anxiety bubbling in his stomach only forcing his legs to pump quicker as Lance got worse.

Keith and Hunk made it to the medbaby in record time though, both boys panting after sputtering to a halt once they made it through the whooshing doors.

The paladins knew today’s workout would be a doozy, but none of them expected to be doing this much running, especially under these circumstances.

Pidge was on the floor sorting through boxes of medicine and supplies carrying on an in-depth conversation regarding the compositional makeup of altean pharmaceuticals with Coran and Allura.

“Hey guys—wait why do you have...?”

“Empty...”

Keith answered a bit breathlessly as he waved the tube of navy and teal plastic in the air before gesturing to toss it to Coran who nodded and raised his hands in anticipation.

“...figured you’d want to take a look at the ingredients or whatever before Shiro got here with him.”

The air in the room seemed to thin as worry descended upon everyone.

“Christ, Lance!” Pidge exclaimed and sat back on her heels.

“Yeah, he’s not doing too hot,” Hunk said as he joined them, stealing the box of tubes and gadgets from Pidge to rifle through it himself.

Coran’s frown somehow deepened and Allura looked increasingly more distraught as he began filling them in.

“What level of dangerous is his breathing at?” Pidge asked hesitantly, like she didn’t want to hear the answer.

“He’s panicking and already really exhausted, so pretty dangerous. It’s one of the worst attacks I think he’s had in a while...”

Allura worried at her lip and kept glancing between the jumble of medical supplies and the medbay doors while she worked absently to ready a bed, the mice smoothing out wrinkles in the sheets and pulling down corners for her.

“Well, it was smart of number four to think of bringing this. I am synthesizing several medicines in likeness but none of them are exactly complete yet—”

“That’s—fuck, that’s not gonna be good enough...”

Everyone stilled at Hunk’s harsh interruption, his hands shaking in loose fists at his sides while he stared fixedly at the boxes of miscellaneous medical equipment in front of him.

“Lance can’t breathe, he can’t just wait for something to finish synthesizing, he might not be breathing at all when it’s done!”

Pidge scooted across the floor and laid her tiny hands on top of Hunk’s trembling ones.

“I think what Hunk means to say is that Lance’s condition is, erm, kinda dire and requires something that works as fast as possible.”

“Hmmm, I see. That is why the blue wilgam bark salve is strictly for prevention... this is indeed a rather tricky—ah, though I suppose I can try to extract and aerosolize whatever might remain of his earth remedy for a temporary solution,” Coran noted as he braved his stern concentration face and began separating the metal canister from the outer plastic to compare the words on it to the words on the bottles of medicine in front of him.

“And we can always place him in a pod for however long it takes to create an accurate remedy... he is truly in the best hands Hunk, do not fret so much,” Allura finished with a tight smile that was warm and assuring all the same.

It was strange how well she could do that, squash so much worry with such a simple act.

Coran hurried over to a station with lots of tools and canisters and turned on several machines that made various clicking and whirring noises.

Keith’s nose wrinkled at the new sounds but he couldn’t find it in him to feel angry about it. Not when they were going to help Lance when was in such bad shape.

“Okay, okay... those are good ideas,” Hunk agreed with a gasp, he hadn’t realized he’d been withholding air as he lost himself in his panic.

“Deep breaths, big guy,” Pidge urged, the weight of her hands bringing him back down from the brink of panic as his mind raced.

“Yeah, don’t forget that you’re the one who can actually breathe,” Keith chided gently with a hesitant hand on Hunk’s shoulder.

“Right... sorry. It’s just that these can get ugly really quick if—“

The doors whooshed open with an unsettling burst of air as Shiro emerged and crossed the room in a matter of seconds, a flurry of concerned exclamations filling the silence in between pauses of commotion that should have been hurried gasps for air.

But weren’t.

There wasn’t time to make sense of the lack of color in Lance’s face or the absence of movement in his chest as Shiro slid him off of his back, human hand trembling as he moved to support his middle and the base of his neck as he lowered his lifeless body onto the bed.

It was a grim enough sight to have even Allura’s mice crying out.

“Lance!”

“Holy fuck...”

Pidge was acting on autopilot as she pinched the altean breathing mask Coran had pulled out over the bridge of his nose and cupped it under his chin to secure the seal, Keith moving in eerie similarity to connect the tubing and flip the right switches on the machine when it became apparent that Hunk wouldn’t be spurred from his horror any time soon.

It wasn’t prepped because they hadn’t realized they’d be needing it so soon.

“No... nonononono—“

They aren’t sure how they heard it through the muddle of commotion and devastating silence but it stopped them all in their tracks, the faintest whisper of air passing his lips.

His very blue lips, go figure.

“He’s breathing, Hunk. Just barely, though...”

Lance’s eyes were open still and staring at nothing as his neck strained for air that was there now but still not accessible with how severely inflamed his lungs had become, the only sounds leaving his lips at all just rapid exhales where he couldn’t expel enough before his aching lungs screamed for more of what the mask was providing

“It doesn’t look like it’s helping...” Hunk all but sobbed as he gripped the base board of the bed so tightly his fingers blanched.

Lance’s eyes bobbed at that, struggling to locate who out of his friends was distressed through the tears welling at their brims.

They were puffy and bloodshot as silent tears spilled in a continuous stream, his eyebrows drawn together with pain and desperation.

“That’s because it’s not,” Shiro deadpanned, his hands working to soothe over Lance’s stuttering chest as his rasping breaths caught in his throat on their way out.

“Wh-how is it not working... it’s oxygen?!”

It was almost pitiful how helpless Keith looked as he stated the very blatant fact, his expression sharp and his tone prickly, like he didn’t know who or what to be mad at.

“His airways,” Pidge started weakly, her voice wavering, “they must be too tight for the air to get through...”

Shiro’s hand gripped Lance’s fiercely. It was ice cold.

The gravity of the situation dawned on his friends like a literal blow then, all eyes turning to Allura.

“Coran... he-he’s working on something, but...”

It wasn’t often that the paladins saw the princess hesitate. Her usual order of proceeding during a crisis was to do something brave or noble first and think about it later, but her impulse instinct was uncharacteristically absent as she stared at Lance’s greying face.

Her hands rose slowly, long fingers uncurling from where they’d been pressed tightly in her palms to reveal a subtle pink glow.

“Princess...”

“I know, Shiro... it’s just—I am scared it might cause him greater discomfort...”

“I don’t think we have time to worry about that, Allura,” Keith noted gravely from the foot of the bed where Lance’s eyes were half focused and darting between him and Hunk.

A status update from Coran made the tension in the room skyrocket further as he estimated another twenty or so dobashes before anything was viable.

It only took one more particularly worrisome sound of distress from Lance for Allura’s hands to descend on his chest with certainty, the pink furls leaving her fingers and settling on his body for not even a second before his back arched off the bed with a strangled gasp.

Allura grimaced as she called upon several energy reserves to ease the vice constricting Lance’s lungs as fast as she could.

A phantom tightness bloomed in her own chest as she visualized the pressure leaving his while she forced each passage back open, the channel she had opened between them by using her powers allowing her to feel the gridlock for herself.

She didn’t let up until Lance was sinking back into the pile of pillows and by then she was so lightheaded that her vision was spotting, but Keith was at her side and gripping her elbow securely before she could even stumble when the strength in her legs wavered.

“I am quite alright, just feeling a bit weak.”

“Are you sure? Why don’t you take a seat for a few anyway?”

Lance couldn’t really make sense of the conversations going on around him while he collected himself after being released from the pulls of Allura’s magic.

“It’ll pass, Keith.”

“Allura...”

Not that he was known for having stellar listening skills, but he was just usually able to follow along with the general flow of things even when otherwise preoccupied.

“Coran you said only eighteen minutes, right?”

The voices of his friends filtered back in slowly though, his skull throbbing still after the horrible pressure had lifted.

“Can you lift his head for a sec so I can secure the strap?”

He hadn’t been coherent of much of anything before, fixing what remained of his energy on the miserable stalemate in his chest.

“It’s only seventeen dobashes and forty three tics now...”

And then the twisted relief of Allura’s magic.

But after that his hearing seemed to flatline, zeroing in on a high pitched hiss that was either static or the oxygen flow of which droned on and dribbled into his present when the tension that had yanked every muscle in his body taught alleviated all at once.

It was so disorientating it almost nauseated him and brought a distinct rush of blood to his eardrums, the oxygen flooding his deprived bloodstream like a dam had broken and left him feeling utterly weightless.

Shiro was the first one to break through the barrier of cotton that muffled his brain.

“Easy, Lance,” he instructed when he didn’t start breathing normally right sway, too stunned by the sudden levity to remember how.

“Take it slow hermano, you’re okay now...”

Everything was still uncomfortably tight and restricted, but air was at least accessible even as his body struggled to acclimate to the change, his heaves greedy and crackling.

“I was able reduce the inflammation for now but there is a substantial amount of fluid that remains in his lungs.”

“Fluid? What like blood?”

“No, Keith, not blood. Phlegm.”

“Oh, gross.”

Lance let out an indignant huff at that and despite the restriction of the mask managed to return the look of disgust the mullet had given him.

“Why is that so bad if it’s just phlegm?”

“Because anything in your lungs besides air is bad, Keith. It’s your lungs!”

“Precisely, Pidge. And it will only keep irritating Lance’s but we cannot risk him progressing back to such a state before Coran has derived his medicine when my powers are not indefatigable.”

“Yep...” Lance winced.

In order to speak he had to battle against the congestion in his chest which made his already wrecked voice sound downright abrasive.

“Shhh, no talking!” Pidge hissed with a warning glare.

But when was Lance ever known to take good advice when it’s given?

“Think... I can feel th’fluid... s’not very—“

He didn’t have to elaborate any more than that to get his point across because the rapping of his own vocal cords against each other had him launching into a harsh fit of coughing that rocked his entire frame. The accumulated cloud of condensation in the mask never allowed to chance to dissipate fully as he hacked.

It sort of felt like he was drowning since he didn’t have the strength to get his arms underneath him while all of the crap that his stupid respiratory system produced to counteract the strain in his lungs only worked to suffocate him and his freshly reduced air passages.

“Shit someone help me get him up, it’ll be easier to breathe if he’s vertical...”

Hunk surged to grab the arm that was closest to him as Shiro slotted his own beneath Lance’s back and hefted him into what only partially passed as a sitting position. But the motion made his head spin and his stomach clench and then Hunk’s hands planted on either of his shaking shoulders to keep him from tilting over as Shiro slid behind him.

The others looked on with horror.

“You’re okay,” Shiro assured as he pulled Lance towards himself.

He was grateful for the solidity of Shiro’s chest, his hold firm enough that Lance didn’t have to work anymore to keep himself up as he slumped into it, but the tears started back up anyway when he continued to actively choke on what felt like nothing despite being upright.

But there wasn’t anything in his throat to actually choke on.

“Just gotta work through it...”

He was starting to get really tired of the exhaustion and malaise that came with being deprived of oxygen for an extended period of time.

“Paladins! Only fourteen—er, minutes remaining.”

“Hear that bud? You’re gonna be okay.”

He did hear but he’s shaking his head in the crook of Shiro’s arm where his head had lolled because he can’t wait that long. He can’t.

“Yeah, you’ll feel better real soon,” Hunk affirmed.

But Lance was verging on a hysteria that he couldn’t summon the strength to express when every muscle that can be strained in his body felt like it most definitely was. And with how acutely his ribcage ached he was also certain he’d displaced a couple of those false ribs made up of just cartilage too.

“Hey, no don’t get upset, you’re gonna be fine!”

He’s never been more exhausted in his life and he can’t communicate that he can’t wait that long because he hasn’t stopped coughing.

His eyes are burning from the amount of crying he’s done so he relies on touch alone when a hand cups his chin and turns it, deducing it must be Allura.

“Lance, can you hear me?”

A shakey jerk seems to be good enough for her.

“I know you aren’t the biggest fan of the healing pods, but I understand that you are in a great deal of distress still and I believe you have endured enough...”

“What are you—oh, yeah! We could totally just put him in stasis like you and Coran were for thousands of years and bring him out when the medicine is ready.”

“Yes, just as Pidge puts it. There is no need to extend the suffering of one of my paladins.”

Shiro set his jaw as he regarded Allura sternly, it didn’t matter what she believed if Lance didn’t agree and he knew how wary he was of returning to the pods after the harrowing experience that landed him in one for the first time.

“Is that something you want to do? It’s alright if you aren’t comf—“

“Please.”

His voice was small, hard even a rasp, but it didn’t need to be loud for Shiro to accept it as his answer.

“Okay...”

Lance checked out after that, allowing himself to save the energy it took to focus on what was happening around him.

So when he started registering Shiro’s voice in his ear he wasn’t exactly sure how both him and the respirator came to be at the foot of a cryochamber but he made a desperate noise at the realization.

“I know, bud. You’re almost there but we need to take the mask off.”

No one missed the fear that flashed across his face before it softened into resignation, or otherwise known as I don’t care, please put me in that stupid thing right now.

Shiro was still holding him and seemed to sense the urgency in it.

“I’m gonna stand up with you...”

It was so surprise when Lance’s knees hardly held any of his own weight before wobbling and giving out as Shiro stood with him still flush against his chest.

He regarded Hunk with a lazy roll through lidded eyes as he tipped his head forward and worked the strap off but held the mask in place.

Distantly aware of the burst of air from the pod opening and a renewed flurry of commotion around him, Lance tried to work with Shiro as he ushered him forward but his legs were too heavy and he couldn’t coordinate his movements well.

Someone else’s hands were on him, bending his knee so they could set one leg down in the pod and send the rest of his body with it. He thinks it might’ve been Keith.

The various sets of hands on him stay even after he’s securely in place, probably scared he would crumple if they did.

They were probably right.

“-nce. Hey, Lance? There you are, this is gonna suck but only for a second. I promise. Ready?”

You would’ve missed the brief hum from his somewhere deep in his sore chest if you weren’t practically inside the pod with him like Shiro seemed to be.

“Okay, now Hunk.”

The crackling heave that erupted from hims mouth was something a dying thing made, but he couldn’t hear himself or the horrible sound he made as consciousness began to swiftly melt away in stages.

First with the initial pressure everywhere after the removal of the mask.

And then pain because holy shit he couldn’t breathe.

But the cold creeped into his bones at light speed and the darkness wasn’t too far behind.

[moonboykeith]

the vld crew in a cook off (ft. lotor & matt)

shiro

doesn't know what he's doing most of the time

if the kitchen isn't on fire after he's done he'll consider this a success

is using a concerning amount of mayonnaise.

he'll probably advise against trying his food

what?? the?? fuck?? is?? a?? zucchini??

keith

cuts vegetables with his dagger

is violating too many hygiene rules

he doesn't care if what he cooks is edible or not as long as he follows all the steps and finishes on time . basically treats it as an exam.

tried to cook instant ramen and serve it but hunk said it would be cheating.

tried to steal hunk's special seasoning (key word: tried)

when the fuck did god invent a purple cabbage?

lance

large proportions. and when i say large i mean he looks ready to feed 30 people.

using all the spices he can find.

his soup is just water with spice.

is practically dying but still manages to find time to make fun of keith.

went all the way to keith’s counter and spilled flour on his head to get his attention, almost got stabbed.

stole meat from shiro's counter when he wasn't looking

taste tested his food and had to take a break to drink milk and calm down the flame on his tongue.

refuses to use any vegetables because they're nasty.

pidge

"cooking is like chemistry. cooking is like chemistry. cooking is li- FUCK THIS SHIT I'M LEAVING."

tried to treat cooking like science ended up with a pie exploding in their face.

treats the cook off like the hunger games.

pushed keith into a wall and choke slammed lance to get to the pantry first.

does not know how to cut meat.

refuses to use tomato because "they're the nature's worst mistake."

wore a lab coat and safety goggles to the cook off, probably a good decision with the goggles but the lab coat is now horribly stained.

their work station looks like a mad scientist's lab, everyone is too scared to go in it's 10 m radius.

allura

slowly loosing her sanity

is trying her best to understand the human ways of cooking but what the fuck is an oven and how the fuck do you preheat it?

got the space mice to eavesdrop on hunk and cheated.

had to take a break to sit down and try not to cry.

got into a fistfight with pidge in the pantry.

trying to copy her friends but they seem to be doing worse.

hunk

is the very concerned judge and is like 90% sure that he's gonna get rushed to the ER by the end of this.

coran

wasn't allowed to participate due to health safety measures

still trying his best to support allura

matt

he's honestly just here to eat

participated due to peer pressure

spent most of his time in the pantry making himself a sandwich and eating it

stuck his foot out and made shiro trip and laughed maniacally for the next twenty minutes

his dish for the day is the leftovers of his sandwich

lotor

crashed the cooking competition for fun

is being pressurized by haggar n zarkon to not stain the name of the galra

has no idea of what the fuck humans eat so he's making a galra dish with whatever human vegetable that looks familiar

pretending to be gordon ramsay but cannot even make coffee

is very intimidated by pidge.

saw keith cutting vegetables with a dagger so he copied with his sword.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

tagging my brother and cooking teacher @cinnamontoastboi-jimothy :")

master, look what ive done.