#piccolo no! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flannelepicurean · 11 months

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OMG, Homie O'Stacies... Had another one of them wild-ass, dumbass dreams, and I'm gonna tell you about it. 😂

Our guys. Our dudes. Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta. And I think Krillin and Yamcha. They were in some kind of "we have to break into Lumpy Space but also survive there long enough to find the thing we came here for and break back out" scenario. Except it wasn't Lumpy Space, it was kinda like...the Jersey Shore and also one of those out of control parties at Jesse Pinkman's house. But the whole fucking city.

And the rules were the same; the stakes were high, because the longer they stayed in Doucheville, the higher the chance was that they'd turn into party animals and forget the mission and get trapped there and all sorts of terrible things.

And it was getting down to the wire. People were like... "recognizing" them, but not as themselves, just calling them by their personas that they would become if they stayed there. And they were like, slapping Solo cups out of each other's hands and getting all sweaty and frantic like, "NO, GUYS, COME ON, STAY FOCUSED!" "I CAN'T, THERE'S TOO MUCH GLITTER!" "NO! STAY FOCUSED, DAMMIT, WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT HOOOOOME!!!"

And shit got dire, and they realized they weren't gonna be able to retrieve the thing and make it out without a man on the inside or something. And Piccolo was like, "...I gotta do it. I have to." And everyone was all like, "Piccolo...Piccolo, NOOOOOO!!!" And he went into a total fighting-the-werewolf-transformation thing in the storm of lamentation, and was like, "I have to! If we're gonna make it out of here...I...I gotta...I gotta become TallBoi! RRRAAAAAHHHHHH..."

Next thing you know, Pickle's blasting onto the scene in like...a skin-tight vinyl crop-top and some gold parachute pants and a sideways snapback covered in disco ball mirrors or some shit and the most obnoxious sunglasses you ever seen.

TallBoi.

TALLBOI.

And I... I do not care. I know everything worked out in the end, I know this in my heart. But I stan TallBoi. You KNOW he was like the kale & kush smoothie of Snoop Dogg and Ludacris, and Flavor Flav was his uncle. You KNOW he stepped on the scene like, "Let's fuck it up, sluggies," and EVERYBODY fuckin' SCREAMED. You know he was tending bar and cheatin' at flip-cup and doing all sorts of stupid shit with his stretchy arms. You know he started trends for antenna jewelry. He probably recorded and released an album THAT NIGHT, and it was dope AF, and Piccolo hates the fact that he still loves some of those tracks because they are 🔥🔥🔥. He still has tracks from "TallBoi: Pour it Down Ya Throat" on his workout mix.

Vegeta is not allowed to listen to any of it. For multiple reasons.

Anyway.

TallBoi