#phone keeps correcting it to transmasc

[fighting-shadows]

Got the transmass tree up... I mean the Christmas tree!

[starsifter]

uhh h if its no trouble!! could you do a ford x ftm!reader whereas the reader grew up in a home that doesnt accept or see him as who he is ((dont mind my english fnjsf)) ((maybe a first kiss??))

As a trans guy I love writing transmasc readers eee okie

If you're stealth when you first meet and come out later on it doesn't change his view of you at all, he might have some questions though and some of them might come across as disrespectful (he doesn't mean it, he's just perpetually curious, and if you don't want to answer he just turns to independent research)

When you tell him about your family he's deeply sympathetic and comforting, he's grown to realize how important having family is, he doesn't say it but he always tries to make you feel like him and his family are yours too.

If you realize your identity while you're in a relationship he never makes a mistake with your name or pronouns, even if you change them frequently while figuring things out, he's scarily on top of things

He secretly has a talk with Stanley and the kids about ways they can make you feel more like part of the family

Stanley immediately suggest that Ford marries you, Ford gets extremely flustered, Mabel seconds the suggestion

They come up with real suggestions for him to implement, but he does seriously consider marriage, maybe just later down the line. They make you a fishing hat with your name on it, they collectively memorize your breakfast order so if you're late they can order for you, and they include you in most of their family outings.

He helps you with your t-shots or t-gel if you do HRT and ask him to, and he helps you keep track of when you're meant to take your binder off, etc

He corrects people on your name and pronouns whenever they misgender you or deadname you around him, not just because it's impolite but it's incorrect and he loves to correct people

When you tell him he gets a bit more protective over you because he knows how queer people were treated back in his day, he gives you extra little weapons to carry around in case of an emergency and gets more worried when you don't answer the phone or come home until late

He's surprisingly good at kissing, he's had practice, on a mannequin head with a rubix cube for a mouth (that's canon look it up)

He takes your first kiss pretty slow, he sorta trembles a bit when kissing, he's just very gentle with it. He holds your face when he kisses you and lingers in the moment.

After the kiss he studies your face, he still has it in his hands, he definitely asks if it was good and if you didn't like it he'll try over and over until he gets it right.

[marimology]

PLS DROP THAT SHANKS AND BOA FIC IM BEGGING 🙏 THEY BOTH GOT MY HEART

peaktober /kinktober week 1

shanks x boa x transmasc reader

warnings : threesome , dubcon/cnc,praise, pegging , phone sex ( snail sex?), cuckholding, mdni, usage of the word cunt/pussy

marimology do not steal or copy my work

there were only four men in this world that boa hancock could tolerate that we’re immune to her abilities, and that was fisher tiger, monkey d. luffy, you, and shanks. well, shanks was on and off with how much he could annoy her . you on the other hand were her husband and she thought you were the prettiest boy she’s ever seen loves to give you compliments and pinch your cheeks but other times she loved to watch you sit on her lap, on her throne ,whimpering on her cock like right now.

“so pretty ♡” she gushed as you road her cock your moans and whimpers filling her ears as she moved upwards to play with your nipples. “gonna fill you up before that damn red head gets here and ruins the fun” she said causing you to clench around her at the thought which in return made her moan at the action and use her hands to guide you “yea want me to do that pretty? “ she teased but was cut off as shanks snail rang next to her to her.

“answer it” you picked up the snail and was greeted with shanks’s voice. “hey boa ! imma be at the island in a few minutes!” shanks greeted cheerfully . “it’s y/n” you answered to as your voice cracked with boa snapped her hips up and set a slow pace “ah boas play thing correct” he questioned which made you form a tick i on your forehead out of annoyance. “ i’m her husband not a plaything “ your tone of annoyance was cut off with a moan as boas pace got faster and rougher causing you to roll your eyes back. “ well the sound you just made and the expression the snail made says otherwise darling, is she near you?” he teased causing boa to speak “ right behind him <3” she said causing you whimper more at her thrusts as they became louder which shanks definitely heard causing him to chuckle “could listen to him all day, are you treating her well ? ~” you couldn’t answer as you were forced to suck boas fingers moaning as they hit the back of your throat. “treats me so well it’s like his little pussy is made for me ”she told him causing you to whine out of embarrassment. “must be a pretty sight,i’ll be docking in 2 minutes i’ll meet you at the palace soon “ click

he really wasn’t kidding when he said he’ll be there in 2 minutes because 5 minutes you both had gone back to your shared bedroom and he had arrived to sight of boa stuffing your head into a pillow as she mercilessly pounded into your cunt. shanks had sat down in the nearest chair and took off his pants revealing his hard cock , spat in his palm and started to rub himself.

“looks like we have ourselves an audience darling “ she said referring to him moaning as you your hips into her thrusts “you should go help him out”

“yeah come help me out pretty boy” he moaned making you grumble in playful annoyance before walking over and going to your knees and grabbing his cock before giving it a lick. “ fuck” he whined at the sudden contact and forced his dick down your throat making you gag and moan out of shock and pleasure “ lil baby likes it when people are rough with him huh” he asked teasingly and moved his hand to feel his bulge against your throat. “gonna cum down that pretty throat if you keep up<3” he praised as you started to play with his balls moaning as you could feel boas tip bully it’s way back into your cunt “look at him darling” she whispered in your ear raising your chin so that you could look at the captain . “want him to cum inside this pussy?” she asked as she was about to reach her peak as well “nuh uh only you” you said releasing shanks’s length from your mouth,receiving whines from the man begging you to continue as he later came down your throat and you one again came down your throat. you releasing with a pop before going to kiss him and moaning in your mouth as he could taste himself on you

“shit “ boa muttered as she found a new favorite view

“round two?” shanks asked with a grin as you and boa rolled your eyes before you got situated on his thigh

[serial-killers-hope]

Could you do a thing for ronin with a partner that’s transmasc but dresses really fem and feels really insecure and like they aren’t an actual guy because of how they present?

(totally not projecting shhhhhhh)

Ah, well. I’ve been planning this for quite awhile actually… well, I suppose you wouldn’t mind some of my work again. ~ DP

CW / TW :

- Gender Dysphoria

- Running / Intrusive Thoughts

- Anxiety

SPOILERS FOR KILLER CHAT

Enjoy.

Petticoats and Blood.

You stared at the coord you had made yourself for the next day. The mannequin sported your petticoat and purse for the next day. Dressing pretty and very nice was your forte after all. Even if it did garner unwanted criticism from so-called “normal” people. It made you happy to dress in frilly skirts, ruffled blouses, cute bonnets. The works for your average sweet style that everyone either loved or criticized ( for whatever reason… )and it made you question whatever was going on through their minds as well.

You hesitate for a second, hanging up the dress and putting away the jewelry for the night. Until your phone pings with a notification and ultimately throws off your insecure thoughts for the moment.

You pick up the phone, eyes narrowed as you stared at the text that the man you who had fallen for ( which you questioned why Ronin had put his name as “ Thy Divine Devil “ ) spammed your phone.

goreboy : darlin’

goreboy : come On. im bored and I want to see Your Pretty mug :)

You frown a bit, the word pretty sticking out like a sore thumb. In all honesty, you never bothered to correct him so how would he even know? All he knew was your identity change and your identity struggles. He’d help with the process, buying you your binder was a plus you didn’t know you needed and a man who knew how to inject testosterone to satisfy your euphoric needs?

Double whammy.

Ronin kept spamming, your frown evident as you shot him a text with a exasperated sigh.

[ User ] : What’s up? :)

You watched as his username popped up and slowly typed. Your impatience grew as you planted yourself down onto your bed with a quiet tap of your foot. Nose scrunched as your dysphoria feuded with your mentality. Hands gripping your phone as his message came through.

goreboy : can’t I just try to See You?

goreboy : But nahhhh, i’ll keep you updated when I see You :)

goreboy : i love you darlin’. keep Your Head up.

Your heart clenched as your throat tightened with a gentle tug of your vocal cords. Your voice didn’t even want to leave as you opened your mouth to say something into the random void of your goddamn room.

“Damn…”

You muster up the word, immediately jumping up to get dressed into some random clothes you had strewn about. Eyes alert and teary as you shrugged on some hoodie that Ronin had gave you some time ago. It’s material plush and gentle on the body. Black in color with a skull on its front.

It honestly screamed Ronin.

Your hand traced the pattern, sighing as you slipped on your shoes and grabbed your keys.

You usually dressed up, even for something simple as this ( meeting Ronin at his usual alleyway ) and even doing a minimal amount of makeup. But you shrugged off the heavy feeling, the dysphoria practically screaming as you got into the car that Ronin had fixed a few months prior to your ‘accidental’ meeting.

You parked a few blocks away from the spot, scrambling out and locking the car before jogging to the alleyway. Your eyes darted around slightly as you made your way down the pathway. Eyes drifting to a specific brick wall that the two of you had met at.

“… huh?”

Ronin slumped against the wall, grinning as he noticed your steps.

“Hey darlin’… how are-“

He cuts himself off, his eyes drifting over your body with a furrowed brow and a small frown which was immediately replaced with a smile.

“Lazy day?”

“You can say that.”

Ronin obviously wasn’t satisfied with the answer, arms crossing as he approached and looked you dead in the eye. Noticing the redness, the puffy texture around them, and the fake smile you usually pulled on bad dysphoria days with a subtle grunt.

“What’s wrong?”

You shift a bit, rocking on the heels of your feet as you shrugged slightly and looked away. Your brows furrowed a bit as he leaned to meet your facial level.

“Nothing… just a bad dysphoria day.”

Immediately, he scowled. His arms suddenly wrapping around you in a comforting hug as he whispered nothing but affirmations to you. It made all the pent up emotions in your body spill out onto the floor. Soft sobs and quiet chokes escaping as you reciprocated the hug and sobbed into his chest.

“I’m not normal, why can’t I be normal…”

Ronin sighs, pressing a gentle kiss against the top of your head. His warmth, inviting and comforting as he whispered into your ear.

“Were we ever normal?”

[hiskillingjar]

Heeeyy do you think you could do some headcanons for strade and ren with a femenine transmasc mc?

trans rights! yeah! trans rights!!!

ren 🦊

ren's a super open-minded and progressive guy so he wouldn't have like. anything to say about it

if you corrected him on your pronouns even once, he'd take it on and wouldn't slip up again.

he's super plugged into like. queer + trans stuff online too so he wouldn't need to be schooled on much either

if you were more fem presenting, he'd be thrilled! best of both worlds (he likes feminine aesthetics and presentation while being pan)

might want to dabble in forcefem. because. horny

he'd also be super comfortable dating a trans person, fem or masc. pan privilege!

he'd have reminders of your t-shots on his phone and he'd be really attentive to keeping you stocked with testosterone and meds (even in the captive scenario <3)

genuinely, ask him to do anything and he'd do it. as long as you kept sweet on him ^_^

law 🥀

law wouldn't. really understand at first

especially if you were more feminine presenting. they would assume stuff and be presumptuous off the bat.

that's purely down to ignorance and not being exposed to it though, not out of genuine malice

if you sat them down and like. spoke through things, they'd be like "ah...okay...i think i understand better now"

and like. if you actually talked them through queer resources and that kind of thing, maybe even gave them some books or showed them trans art or literature, they might even be like "oh...this feels right, actually."

congratulations! you cracked the egg and you're t4t now!!

strade 🔨

does not care

way more plugged into the discourse than law is but he's a bisexual cis man in his thirties. he doesn't care

he'll use the right words in regular day-to-day life, regardless of the presentation. he's observant in that respect

but like. come on

he's a sadistic asshole lol

he'll cut off your binder and call you a 'good girl' if it makes you uncomfortable and scared

i think he'd also take the opportunity to play around with gender in the sexy way too, ala forcemasc and forcefem, as long as it got the reaction he wanted.

if you were boring, it would get dropped for something else though.

he'd be casually transphobic to get on your nerves while supplying you readily with testosterone and using the right pronouns. he's genuinely just an asshole, not bigoted in the slightest lol

[genderqueerpositivity]

I finished Irreversible Damage this weekend.

(All the TWs below)

I took notes in a tumblr post draft as I went, and it's a long mess that I'm not sure anyone wants to read. It might clean it up and post it as a review if anyone is interested.

Overall, it's a terrible book. There were a few passages that hit like a gut punch, but for the most part it wasn't a difficult read...because Shrier is so disconnected from the reality of what it is to be a transmasculine person. That book is not representative of the transmasculine experience, I'm not represented in the pages of that book.

It's about us, without us. (And no, I don't--and won't--count Buck Angel as representation of the average transmasculine experience.) Apart from a few cherry picked words from trans Youtubers and a handful of detransitioners, this book is led by the stories of anti-trans parents--this book isn't about the transmasculine experience, it's about the transphobic parent experience.

It's anti-transmasculine propaganda...and worse, the further into the book you read, the more obvious it is that the book is intended to function as a guide for parents to practice DIY conversion therapy. This is literally a guidebook on how to abuse your trans child.

Isolate them (literally move across the country if needed, states without laws that protect trans people are strongly recommended), separate them from their trans friends or other affirming people in their lives, prevent them from having access to phones or internet, never ever use their correct name or pronouns, force them to do manual labor or physical activity if possible, take away or destroy their gender affirming clothing or binders, and make the home "private" again (in other words, never let anyone find out that your child is trans or what you are doing to your child because of their transness).

If there is anyone who believes that transmasculine people don't experience a very distinct and specific form of transphobia, I would ask them to read this book.

The kind of transphobia that trans men and transmasc people face intersects heavily with ableism and sexism. Transmasculine people are heavily infantilized; it's shocking (but not surprising) how...paternalistic an attitude this book takes towards both teenage girls and women and transmasculine people, including trans people who are legally adults. It is clear that Shrier does not think highly of teenage girls and young women...they are easily misled and easily confused, lonely and desperate and self-hating, incapable of separating emotion from reality, easily influenced by social media and peers.

Shrier encourages parents to exert as much control over the lives of their legally adult trans children as possible, and to use any potential leverage available to manipulate trans adults into stopping their transition. It's obvious that Shrier doesn't view trans adults as actual adults at all, but as childish individuals who are mentally/emotionally/neurologically underdeveloped. Any neurodivergence, mental illness, or history of trauma adds tax, and is proof that a person isn't mentally competent to transition.

It is also obvious that the potential future fertility of any transmasculine person is valued more greatly than our personhood, bodily autonomy, or mental health. At no point is it ever stated that child-bearing or motherhood are optional. The possible loss of fertility is the "irreversible damage"...and whether that potential fertility is even wanted by the trans person in question isn't relevant.

There are some other WTF moments in this book too. Shrier doesn't believe that spiritual abuse is real, rather it is nonsense invented by "gender ideologues" in order to accuse Good Christian parents of abuse. Shrier comes across as anti-therapy and anti-mental health medication; she downplays depression as "the blues" and anxiety as "nerves", and goes on to suggest that those who take antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are looking for an easy way out and simply trying to medicate away normal human emotions. She openly opposes conversion therapy bans that prevent the practice of conversion therapy against trans people, and she opposes school anti-bullying programs that teach LGBT+ acceptance.

This book is also anti-queer, anti-pansexual, anti-asexual, and to a point anti-bisexual. Shrier is clearly obsessed with the amount of sex that trans people (including minors, there are some really gross statements in this book) are or aren't having; because so many trans people identify as asexual, at one point she refers to the trans community as a "cult of asexuality". Bisexuality is considered a phase of normal teenage exploration on the way to developing an either straight or lesbian/gay identity. And if you think that lesbian/gay teens and young adults get a break in this book, you're wrong: Shrier discourages parents from affirming their gay and lesbian teens and she is clearly against GSA's in schools.

I could keep going for a long time, but I won't.

Anyway, after reading that fucking disaster, I've just started Detransition, Baby and I'm waiting and hoping for it to get good; the first ~60 pages are kind of slow-moving, more words than plot. I am interested to see where it goes though!

[avirams]

// nanamiki hcs //

with transmasc!mikan and enby!chiaki for anon,,!

if they bind, mikan is sure to remind their partner to not keep it on for too long,,!

after all, they are the ultimate nurse, their top priority is chiaki

chiaki on the other hand, often ends up forgetting cuz they usually fall asleep at the console

chiaki isnt the best at keeping healthy schedules in general, period

but thats okay, cuz their s/o has been helping,,!

whenever chiaki plays on their switch or phone, they like to lie their head down on mikan's lap

theyre both more stay-at-home people, so most of their dates are watching a new show or just cuddling

they really like to bake together,,!! mikan can get pretty clumsy, and chiaki sometimes zones out and forgets whats in the oven, but their treats still turn out pretty tasty

mikan isnt the most confident in their identity, but whenever they feel particularly like they arent passing or theyre faking or whatever, thats where chiaki takes their role

chiaki can be surprisingly serious when hyping their partner up

or even when correcting people with names and pronouns. mikan has been getting more confident in not letting people misgender them with chiaki's help

chiaki wears mikans clothes sometimes when theyre going to have an especially long gaming tournament, it makes them feel comfortable plus good luck!!

they both probably really enjoy spring, and during that season, they have picnics outside

chiaki usually just lies down on the blanket, and mikan likes to pick nearby flowers :]

they care about each other no matter what their identity is or how it may change in the future,,!! cuz their feelings, and yours, and anyones' reading this are too,,! ✌️

[nothorses]

(cw: abusive mom stuff, if u dont want to answer this thats totally cool!) im a trans man with an abusive/manipulative mom. i’ve questioned if my entire identity is just me trying to get away from her for years. i look like her now, and i keep shutting down my genuine reasons for wanting to transition with “what if i’m just cis and trying to not be under her influence anymore”.

i just wanted to ask if u have any coping mechanisms for that. for me, i have little notes with reasons for why i want to transition on my phone for when Bad Thoughts hit me. i’ve struggled with this for a loong while and just seeing another trans guy talk about complicated transmasc experiences is super healing and helpful. thank u for reading! 

The notes are!! very smart!!!

I’m kinda forgetful so I’ve never been super consistent with this, but I also try to keep notes/documents/whatever with reminders about various things I get really bad emotional spirals about; like screenshots of nice things my friends have said about me to stave off the RSD. Doing that for transition doubt is an awesome idea.

As far as other coping mechanisms go, I’ve always gone back to those reminders and self-corrections when it comes to harmful thought patterns. I find it helps a lot to think through whatever idea is making me anxious & give it the weight it demands for a minute: so if I’m doubting my transness because “what if it’s just internalized misogyny”, I might ask myself like, how do I honestly feel about women? Do I see womanhood as lesser, inferior, harder? Do I see manhood as better, superior, easier? Does this feel like “the easy option” to me? (No. The answer is no. Being cis is always easier than being trans.)

If I’m doubting myself because “what if I just want to look different from my mother”, maybe I’d ask, like: is this the easiest way to look different from her? Do I see “womanhood” as a defining feature of her abuse? Have I had thoughts about other reasons to transition? If I didn’t transition, or couldn’t, how would I feel- would there be other feelings that have nothing to do with looking like her?

Also, getting friends to help talk you through that can be so, so good as well. It’s easy to get stuck in the twisted logic your brain comes up with in that moment, and to forget all the reasons that logic doesn’t work. It helps to have someone else with a different perspective bust in and show you all the holes.

I will also say like, it is incredibly common for everyone to fear “ending up like their parents”, to the point that this is a big trope in media- telling women “you’re just like your mother” is such a classic “hard-hitting insult” that it’s almost overused at this point. And yet, the way they handle this has nothing to do with gender. It’s not about looking different, or even being a different gender. It’s about trying to be different as a person.

Hell, my mom was abused by her mother, too. She even rebelled against that by intentionally striving to be as different of a person as she could; but changing her entire gender was never in question, because it’s just as uncomfortable for cis people to deny their gender and live as someone they aren’t, as it is for trans people.

[godblooded]

If it makes you feel better you’re definitely not alone. Almost every mun I saw RP a gender fluid/questioning character later discovered or suspected themselves of being something other than cis. It’s not true in ALL cases but for the most part, straight cis people don’t often question who they are because they’re already seen as the default. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself hc-ing a character as Bi ‘for no reason’. Five years later, guess what I turned out to be? (1/2)

It’s also 100% okay if you don’t like calling yourself trans - now or ever. There’s always new things to discover about ourselves so I don’t think anyone should be in a rush, y’know? Someone who knew at 12 is no less valid than someone who knows at 40. My mom’s friend at work identified as a lesbian from the age of 12-33. Was engaged, they had a baby via donor. He was depressed and couldn’t figure out why - got diagnosed with GD. He’s I think 3 years transitioned now & happy. 2/2

man, anon, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. honestly everybody who shares their experiences with me kind of bolsters my confidence in it a little. I think the problem is the literal opposite— I so want to claim ‘trans’ as an identity because it feels right but there’s a genuine fear in me I’m not ‘trans enough’ to consider myself as such. It’s like feeling like my identity is too much of a mixed bag to be accepted. It’s me second guessing myself constantly. ‘Am I actually trans or is this the trauma’ ‘I know I’m not a trans man but I feel a lot more like a boy but I don’t feel exactly like a boy’. Being enby transmasc has been a really difficult time for me because I just— don’t know where I fit, yanno?

(I wanna remark that ‘yanno’ tried to auto correct to ‘ganon’ on my phone, for what that’s worth. My zelda nerd is showing.)

Also, I’m so glad your mom’s friend got to find his happiness. And I’m glad it happened in his lifetime at all because god everyone deserves to live their total truth. It really just feels so much better.

Honestly the hardest part about it is that I assert masculinely, I wish I could be seen masculinely (especially in person— don’t get me started on how this has fucked my career over). I’ve had a student ask about how I identify and I was near in tears about it. And I have the best, supportive brothers who are helping me feel more secure in it but— it’s gonna be awhile before I can do what I want to feel better and to find myself. Because I’d kill for top surgery. I’d just fucking kill for it. I’d also like to stop being seen as ‘cute’ when I can lift an almost 200 lb person on my own. And while I note ‘cute’ is usually femininely adjacent, and therefore it’s not me trying to discredit the importance of accepting your own femininity, I just wish someone would look at me and automatically go ‘handsome’.

it’s just a lot, you know? But thank you for coming into my inbox and talking to me about this. And feel free to keep doing so— off anon too, if you might feel comfortable.

(Incidentally, interestingly enough, it was a genderfluid dmab brother of mine that was the reason stark/dr. Bloom ended up genderfluid (and bisexual, thank you for this ONE piece, canon) and it was because he said ‘huh. She really doesn’t seem cis at all.’ And that was when that started my journey into figuring it out.)

Thank you for being so kind as to share with me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

[angrylizardjacket]

sharp dressed {Joe Mazzello}

@yourqueeniac asked: Hey friend, its been a rough week. I was wondering if you could do some Joe comfort/cheering up? I just really need some Joe cuddles right about now.

@80sfeel asked: please GOD can you write joe x reader comforting reader after a long hard day? (i stan you so hard and i’ve had a rough day and i could use some fluffy joey)

Anon asked: Please write something disgustingly domestic with Joe!

A/N: 1493 words. Nonbinary/transmasc reader, no pronouns used at all, just that the reader is wearing a binder and a suit for the awards show. this is incredibly self indulgent and has been sitting in my drafts half written for a month, it sort of fits the prompts, but not 100% so i hope it’s okay. no time like the present. it’s just a little thing i hope you enjoy.

The night of the Golden Globes was dripping with glamour; you’d been dressed to the nines, well tailored suit over a new binder, makeup impeccable and eyeliner sharp; your stylist team had really outdone yourself. You’d spent enough time squishing your chest around beneath your binder to get it to sit correctly for your first actually tailored suit that you felt justified in your vanity, and before you’d even left your hotel room you’d taken a bunch of mirror selfies in the rich, colourful suit you’d chosen for the occasion. It was a night of partying, of watching your favourite people earn awards they had so rightfully earned. 

You took pride in your friends, and of course your boyfriend, who had spent half the night drunk and taking photos for Instagram that would just pour gasoline onto the fire that was the shipping wars between the people who shipped him and Ben, and those that shipped him and you. It was all in good fun, of course, you’d been with Joe for almost three years now, and still going strong, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t added fuel to the Ben/Joe fire online yourself.

But as the party began to die down and people started heading back to their hotels, you could feel yourself getting tired and antsy as you looked through your Instagram feed. The cast and crew of Bohemian Rhapsody were wrapped up in a group hug as people started to announce their plans to leave, and when Joe spots you off to the side, frowning at your phone, he reaches out, calls out, and pulls you in to the group’s embrace.

“Something’s on your mind,” Joe’s playing with your hand in the back of the car taking you back to your hotel. The gnawing discomfort in your chest is something you’re painfully aware of, and it’s not the usual aching discomfort of wearing a binder too long; this one is new.

“I don’t know,” you sigh into the silence that permeates the back of the car, leaning across the empty middle seat to rest your head on his shoulder, before unclipping your seatbelt as the car stopped at a light, shifting to close the gap between the two of you. You both know how tired you are; he doesn’t press the issue, just wraps an arm around you and tucks you closer to his side.

His hand is warm in yours where he holds it all the way through the lobby, into the elevator, keeping you close where you’re both starting to tip into drowsy.

“Also, I don’t know if I told you this,” and he’s smiling a little in the slow moving elevator, because he knows he definitely has, “but you looked incredible tonight,” and he says it anyways because he loves the way your face lights up with bashful joy whenever he says it.

“Thank you,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his cheek, but then as you think over it, your expression starts to fall as you as pulled into your own mind, your own thoughts.

“There it is again,” he reaches up to tip your chin up gently, concern in his eyes when his gaze meets yours, “something’s up.” You can’t really form your thoughts into words, merely humming with discontent and shifting away from him to avoid his gaze. “If you want me to drop it I will,” he assured, and as the elevator door opens, you stepped out, considering your next words carefully.

“No, I mean I don’t mind talking about them - it’s nothing serious; not about us -” you assured quickly, a look of relief passed over Joe’s concerned face.

“I was worried there for a minute.”

“But it’s not like, your stuff to deal with, like it’s not stuff that someone else can fix, I just gotta get over myself, you know?” There’s a moment that stretched between the two of you as you stand at the door to your room, Joe frowning with the keycard in hand as he tries to decipher what you’re trying to say. “I’m worried the internet likes Ben more than me.” You blurt out, and Joe’s eyebrows shoot up with surprise as he opens the door.

“Are you jealous?” And there’s not even a hint of teasing in his words, he’s genuinely concerned, but you have to laugh. You’re not even a little bit surprised by Joe’s confused look, it wasn’t even close to the reaction he had been expecting.

“I have no doubt in my mind that if you wanted to be dating Ben, you’d be dating Ben,” you grinned, and Joe thought on that for a moment before making a noise of agreement, and stepping in to give you a kiss.

“He’s not my type,” Joe agrees, stepping through to the rest of the room, toeing off his shoes.

“And that is?” You asked with a grin, and there’s mischief in his eyes as he throws his response over his shoulder.

“You.”

“Gross.” You snorted in response, but before he could protest you’re stepping in close and wrapping your arms around him. “Get that sappy shit out of here,” voice soft, you can’t help but smile before you lean in.

“Absolutely not,” he grins in response, and closes the gap between you before you can protest, not that you would.

“What are you worried about, just about the fans’ reactions in general?” By the time you’ve broken apart, started to actually undress, he’s back to your initial concern, and there’s that uncomfortable sensation worming back into your chest.

“I just know that,” and you actually hesitate for a moment where you’re unbuttoning your dress shirt, “things can be intense online, like they’ve been intense before but not like this, you know? And I know I love you, but it’s just hard when people either hound me for information about you, or send me nasty messages because I’m supposedly “ruining your relationship with Ben”.” You’re breathing hard when you finally come to a stop, dress shirt crumpled on the floor where you’ve thrown it, concern etched deeply into the lines on your face. “I block them, but I’m just worried one day I’m gonna snap and be nasty back, and then you’ll not be able to be seen with me because I’m ‘problematic’ or some shit.” You’re even shaking a little now, your mind flooded with all the nasty and cruel messages you’d been sent by supposed fans since the release of the film.

“Hey,” Joe’s by your side in an instant, holding your shoulders gently, voice so gentle and caring that it’s like a life raft in the ever growing sea of your dark, internet-related thoughts, “I love you, and telling people to fuck off for harassing you isn’t going to change that; nothing on the internet is going to change that - that place can be awful, I know.” 

It’s like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding as you surge forwards into his arms. 

“Thank you,” you breath, and he hums assurance, hands warm on your back, before he’s tugging at the edge of your binder.

“You want some help with this?” And it’s not even a sexual thing, at least not right now, but he’d seen you struggle with it too many times, and he knows the drill by now. You accept easily, pulling it up as far as it can go without straining yourself, and ducking a little so Joe could pull it off the rest of the way, tossing it to the side to deal with tomorrow.

“I love you too, you know that? ‘m very grateful for you,” you muse softly, wrapping your arms around him, your chest pressed to his as you both stand in your suit pants in the middle of the dimly-lit hotel.

“Get that sappy shit out of here,” he smirked in response, and you can’t help but laugh as he peppers your face with kisses. When you pull back to start undoing your pants, you click your tongue. Before you fully move away however, Joe ducks to press a quick kiss to a red mark the binder had left on your chest, not that it had been painful or too tight, you’d just been wearing it for a while.

“I haven’t even started with the sappy shit;” you snickered, though there was a fondness in your eyes that you couldn’t hide as he moved back, “your movie won a goddamn Golden Globe tonight, if you think I’m not gonna spend the night telling you how proud I am, and how much I love you, among other things that I know you’re gonna enjoy, you’re dead wrong.” 

“Best damn night of my life,” Joe breathed, and you laughed, loud and bright and unselfconcious as your pants dropped to the floor.

“So far,” you corrected, “we’ve still got the rest of the award season to go.”

[fregget-frou]

The DAMN poly is t4t and they all hype each other up to combat dysphoria. Just in a circle complementing and assuring each other ther like it’s a competition

Some little blurbs about them:

Huxley is a trans man and transitioned when he was in middle school, his moms were really supportive and helps comfort all of them if they are feeling down. He is good vibes only and makes sure everyone takes their binders off(off they use them), take their testosterone and is just overall the best

Damien is a trans man and will fight any transphobes. He also transitioned earlier in life and his mom helped him the best he can. Is definitely involved in giving trans people more rights in both the empowered and unempowered communities. He can get really dysphoric so everyone in the poly has cuddle sessions where they watch movies to help him with it. Sends reminders to everyone to take their T on their phones

Lasko is transmasc and he only started to recently transition. He uses a binder so his partners make sure he doesn’t have it one too long and he also tries to make sure people respect them in any way he can. If someone’s feeling bad he’ll just talk about things to distract them (personally this is perfect to avoid dysphoric feelings, but it could be different for you). He also makes good tea so during movie nights everyone is even more comfy. He has a bunch of cute bandaids for T shots and they come in a variety of forms(his fav are the dinosaur ones)

Gavin doesn’t have a gender, but still uses he/they pronouns. He’s very open and is a really good pep talker when people need it. He helps with finding good clothes that make everyone feel confident and will glare at anyone who purposely misgender them. He would definitely assure everyone by using pet names and the correct pronouns (ex him just going on rants about how his handsome prince is shining in the morning, my darling is so handsome—) and it makes them all giddy

My freelancer Ben is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns. They wanted to go into fashion before DAMN they know know how to style everyone to make sure they don’t get dysphoric and does know how to do makeup well enough to make people look more masculine or just good about themselves. He’s amab so he doesn’t have to take T, but makes sure everyone’s preferred method is sorted and labeled well and easily found. He also keeps special bandaids and likes them to have a monthly theme

trans huxley trans huxley trans huxley trans huxley trans huxley