#phew this took long

[kalolasfantasyworld]

Chapters 372 & 373 opinions and analysis

Hello everyone! I'm late to the party, but I promised and simply had to give my opinion on these Silvas chapters in addition to live comments which you can find here.

I'm blaming these on my coloring and an art related to this chapter.

Let me start with saying that these chapters were all I ever wanted and more from Black Clover.

If you follow me you realise that I focus on the Silva family a lot. I actually got into this fandom, because I started writing my fic Paper Hearts, which besides being a steamy and dramatic romance is a story of the Silvas redemption and focuses on Nozel, Nebra and Solid.

I wanted to dive deeper into their characters and show them as more than just assholes, give them some depth and this is exactly what Tabata did in these two chapters.

I'm proudly admitting that my headcanons for Nebra and Solid's reasons for hating Noelle were correct 😁

And on to specific opinions 😉 I'll go per character and at the end summarise them as a four

Noelle

Simply seeing Noelle put up an amazing fight against Acier made me so happy.

"I'm not weak anymore."

Noelle had said long ago and she is correct. Our girl grew, literally spread her wings, broken her cage, threw out the keys I'm citing Song Queen of Kings by Alessandra which I associate with Noelle a lot.

She had shown us her growth and here a bit of inspiration from Asta with the not giving up trope.

Later we can see Noelle continue to care for her siblings during the fight.

The apology scene and Noelle's reaction I will go over below Nebra and Solid's.

Solid and Nebra

We see their povs which I love, finally getting to know what's going on in their heads.

Here we see fear

A painful realisation

The truth

Finally giving them the courage to join in, to help Noelle.

I'm proud of them. I'm so proud of them.

I knew they had it in them and I'm so happy I was right. Just seeing these panels made me want to cry happy tears.

More then that they want a FRESH START. To rebuild their family. Took you guys long enough (in PH this happens faster 😂) but you're finally here.

🥹🥹🥹

Solid and Nebra support Noelle with her powerful magic which is hard to control, something they would make bully her for earlier.

I think Tabata is showing us an amazing contrast, as a show of growth.

Nebra

These two panels finally give us her motivation for mistreating Noelle. Jealousy.

Once again I'm patting myself on the shoulder for having this headcanon.

I'm proud of her to finally admitting that, not only to Noelle but to herself.

Solid

Solid once again jealousy, low confidence.

But he admitted it, admitted his weakness.

Nebra and Solid

They apologised, finally.

Beautiful panel, of which I've seen many beautiful colorings and I might make my own version.

We're not in the Noelle tab, but I wanted to speak about her answer here.

She's not saying "oh it's nothing," neither "yes I forgive you for everything," or "I hate you!"

Noelle simply accepts the fact. They apologised.

This shows so much of her maturity, the peace she made with her situation, life and growth. Noelle is somebody to look up to.

Nozel

Once Nozel was healed by our lovely Pablo and the best girl Kahono he managed to get back and join his siblings. One stubborn bird he is.

This panel I want to focus on, because Nozel is finally GUIDING NOELLE. I wondered many times what would have happened if instead of pushing her away, guided by his guilt and emotional shackles he had guided her. During the fight with Megicula Nozel realised that they needed to grow stronger together. Now he is finally showing it.

Nozel learnt trust.

but also so much more by changing from his sophisticated ever changing style to pure defence, fighting hand in hand, which we had never seen him do before.

Also this quote right here is a perfect reference to when Acier asked Nozel to protect his siblings with her magic. Nozel remembers and uses his mother's words against her.

That's why later we're getting that epic panel with him saying "Isn't it right mother?"

I decided to speak a bit about his armor design and the spell itself.

We're keeping in the Silver spells trope that Nozel has, which I love. We also already saw Nozel "strengthen" his body with mercury during the fight with Kivin, so there were some hints and excited people about Nozel possibly getting an armor as well. This is certainly a hot version, even though he looks a bit like the Silver Surfer (check out this amazing and slightly hilarious art).

Nozel's armor hurts him.

I always head canoned that even though he had some immunity to his magic and with his amazing control he would protect himself, it still very much affected him, brought him pain.

I can talk a bit more about Mercury magic and it's symbolism but this might be for another post if you'd be interested. A short version I'd like to say how it's POISON, symbolising the mental poisoning of Nozel which has been happening since Acier's death.

Here it hurts him, but in a way as he says it will allow him to atone, which will help him rebuild. Clearing mental poison with physical poison.

Nozel had amazing character development and I can proudly say that he is my favorite Black Clover character, with his depth, complexity, resting bird face 😂 and all of the quirks which make him great.

Acier

Acier was strong and I'm glad they showed her this way. We got to see her amazing spells and how if she was to be fought one by one they would probably loose. Acier was one of the strongest and now amped with her paladin powers she needed to be great.

The fact that she got the water attribute didn't impress me, maybe it was to show how she's now like all of her children. At least to me it did not hit hard.

I loved how despite being changed, she continued to talk to her children, point things out. Remember this is not real Acier, more like a shadow of her but I'm glad she was still showing these sides, because Solid and Nebra could say their goodbyes as well.

This panel was everything.

Acier should be satisfied, hey that part of her which is still their loving mother is probably very happy that she used the "common enemy" trope to get them together. Jokes aside she is a great mother, who could see her children surpass her and be proud of them.

Her last words were EVERYTHING.

The siblings know they made their mother proud. They can put behind them the insecurities, everything which has been weighing the family down.

Acier's first death destroyed the family as she left the great legacy, to which none of them felt good enough to live up to.

Acier's second "death" brought her children together.

The Silva siblings

I brought these ending panels together to show you how similar they are. Notice how the siblings are standing at specific spots.

They were finally brought together.

"But you've finally become a family, haven't you?"

Yes and this is the takeaway from these chapters.

Each one of them grew, showed what they were made off and made a step to rebuild, to be a family. I'm proud of them.

Tabata-sensei I'm extremely grateful that you gave my most precious characters the ending they deserved, that you came up with their story and their development. It took time, but it was so worth the wait and I'm glad it was not rushed.

To sum up, these two were my favorite Black Clover chapters and I will reread them many times.

And my coloring at the end I hope you enjoy 💕 The new Dawn for the Silva family.

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - Meeting Noelle

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost

Susie and Noelle first meet when the whole party enters the Queen's domain! Susie comes to the rescue...even if Kris was the one that orchestrated it, ultimately!

(Just a small reminder that I draw these Eldritchrune comics out of chronological order, so be sure to check the masterpost for more!)

[zu-is-here]

“Behind those stoic eyes was a man who wanted to care. Behind those bones was a gentle soul, making sure nothing would happen to you.”

[12/5] Happy birthday to Winter ☆

Winter!Sans from SeasonTale by @zelphin124

[pain-in-the-butler]

Out of curiosity…if Ono is your third fav Seb. What’s your Offical Sebastian Ranking™️?

Just as with the ask about the Anime Expo panel, it's fortunate for me that someone reached out, because I was thinking of making this a post on my own eventually someday anyway. What follows might be more information on my opinions of Sebastian than you care to have, so apologies in advance. Let's count down from worst to best:

6. Hiro Mizushima from Black Butler (2014)

There's a reason no one talks about this movie. It's because it sucks, and somehow I feel I can't really blame Mizushima for his performance, but... it is still a mixture of weird and unmemorable. That hairstyle does him no favors either, but maybe the fact that I find him a little bit frightening to look at should give him points rather than detract them. Off-screen, he looks like a completely normal man; somehow the film's efforts to make him a sexy butler were unfortunately funneled into making him unnerving and unappealing. And the movie is two entire hours long.

There's a lot I've deleted from my memory about the Black Butler live action film, but that lack of memory seems a sign that he should sit in dead last. Whether he's acting like a total weirdo or actually successfully impressing me, Sebastian should never be a forgettable character, and all I can think when I consider Mizushima's performance is that I never need to see it again.

5. Yuya Matsushita from That Butler, Friendship, The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World, and the first run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth

I know some people may find this placement to be blasphemous, but honestly, the only thing I really like about Yuya's Sebastian is his singing voice, and even then I'm not that wild about it. It's been a few years since I watched TMBDITW, so it's not super crisp in my mind, but I will give him some recognition as an early Sebastian who still had little material to work with. He probably had to do some of his own legwork to adapt the character to the stage and to the original stories he was expected to act in. That can't be easy, and it makes sense that his Sebastian would be one that had to stand somewhat independent from the canon. I also appreciate that he is playing Sebastian with purpose behind his actions and not a sexyman who just serves whatever convenient purpose the narrative dictates, like Mizushima's Seb.

With that caveat out of the way, I still don't like his Sebastian portrayal. It's clear Yuya really drummed up the "I'm no one but I can become anyone" aspect of Sebastian. He can invent personas that suit the situation, like when he decides to seduce Undertaker, but as soon as the problem is solved, he reverts back to being robotic and unsmiling. You get the feeling that he's rather cold and calculating and that he is only interested in doing things that will earn him Ciel's soul. I didn't watch with subtitles, so perhaps that evaluation is misplaced, but his mannerisms dictated that energy to me.

Also, I can't get behind the sort of sexual and romantic tones that sometimes felt present, especially when real children were involved. It will always taint his work for me. There's one song where he and Ciel look at each other the entire time and it's three and a half minutes long but it felt like a year. I wanted to crawl out of my skin because it was so horrifically awkward. Stick this man in fifth.

4. Toshiki Tateishi from The Public School's Secret

So I went into this musical fully prepared to hate Toshiki's performance, considering the act he was following, and... I thought it was actually pretty decent. When I think of Sebastian in the Weston arc, I think of the "sexy professor" angle Yana kept trying to push, and I was worried Toshiki would play into that, especially considering Ciel was being portrayed by a legal adult onstage for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised! That's not what happened at all.

Though likely unintended, I would say Toshiki gives off a rather maternal vibe, behaving more like Seb does in memes: kind of silly, kind of fussy, an overworked single mother who cares for her boy. Toshiki's Sebastian was very attentive of Ciel. He was frequently pleased with his kid's impish nature and didn't seem that annoyed to be taking on extra tasks, only complaining lightly, "Even though I have things to do too!" at the end of the chores song. When Ciel came up with a plan to foil Maurice, Toshiki seemed excited to praise him and gratified to help. He was like Sebastian Lite, only a bit insidious at times, mainly the ever-attentive helper.

To me, it's the first time one of the musicals has made Sebastian feel like a supporting character rather than the driving force behind the story. I prefer when he and Ciel are both treated evenly as protagonists, but I hate it when it's All About Him. I think Toshiki's performance has a good heart and he made me laugh at times. He's not quite canon Sebastian, but I like him. I trust him not to eat the sonboy just yet. Mostly.

3. Daisuke Ono from the Japanese dub of the anime

Daisuke Ono was a part of my first experience with Black Butler, so there's something about his voice that feels like it's just right for Sebastian. And it kind of is. It's a really flexible voice, and one that is clearly giving a performance when you listen to him. He also infuses his dialogue with what sounds to me like inherent smugness, which I think suits Sebastian perfectly. Ono's performance is the most self-satisfied in nature. It makes you think of a well-fed cat licking its chops while it considers its next meal.

His voice is not sexy to me, but I can see why people find it to be. At the same time, Ono isn't afraid to give Sebastian different inflections, even ones that some might consider too embarrassing or OOC for Seb. He's a veteran voice actor and he knows how to do whatever is requested of him. Sebastian treats his career just the same: he too will do essentially whatever Ciel requires. I think Ono is a natural match is what I'm saying, especially having now seen him in person and observing the way he works a crowd so effortlessly.

All that said... Ono's Sebastian is perfect. I don't mean that as a compliment: I mean he's too lacking in flaws. Sure, he has the big flaw (okay with killing a child) but he isn't really giving "silly idiot." Ono's Sebastian is the one the girlies write about in their self-insert fiction. And for the first two seasons, that's kind of who he was supposed to be, so fine. But even when he has silly or idiotic moments, it doesn't feel quite authentic, if that makes sense? I think to Ono, Sebastian's stupid mistakes are just a fluke, quickly corrected. It doesn't feel like they're a fundamental part of who his Sebastian is.

If you consider this nitpicking, you're right! The next two Sebastians are just that good. I still consider Daisuke Ono to be a very talented and accurately-portrayed Sebastian.

2. J. Michael Tatum from the English dub of the anime

While it's possible that I pick up on more nuance in Tatum's performance because he's the only one here who speaks the same language as me, how fortunate we are to have him doing Seb's English voice. He might not actually have a real British accent, but he's just too charming not to love. To me, he has all the vocal command of Ono but is more candid in his delivery. Ono may be Sebastian the perfectionist and Sebastian the performer, but Tatum is Sebastian the butler, well settled and confident in his human role.

I really appreciate the ways you can hear Tatum's voice change notably depending on Sebastian's emotions. This is especially prominent in Book of Atlantic during the flashback sequences: an annoyed Sebastian is an entirely different sounding dude than when he's being cunning, and again when he's being subservient. And he really does have this very silky, ASMR-ass way of speaking that suits Sebastian to a T. It's inherently convincing.

And more to my own interests, Tatum's voice for Sebastian has a really paternal nature to it, and I like that. I think it adds to the complexity of Sebastian's role in Ciel's life when you can hear this caring quality in the voice of a demon that will one day kill the child he works for. He can also be snipped and punctual, and then he can be gentle and reassuring, all in the same scene. And he can be scary too... and I'm super looking forward to hearing how this plays out during season 5.

To compare him to Ono again, I think Tatum knows Sebastian can be an idiot at times, but that quality still takes a backseat to the suaveness. He's almost perfect. And I probably would even say he is perfect, if we hadn't seen perfection itself. As he is, I think Tatum is an excellent voice actor for Sebastian, and I'm grateful that we have him in the position that we do.

1. Yuta Furukawa from the second run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth, Noah's Ark Circus, and Tango on the Campania

Yuta Furukawa. What a legend. What an icon. This is where I would say "he isn't just playing Sebastian, he is Sebastian," but Furukawa is even more than that. He's what Sebastian should be. And that's not just me being rude to Yana. Yana has flat-out said that Yuta knows Sebastian better than she does herself. She's right.

If you have yet to see Yuta perform, then congratulations: you're in for a treat. What I wouldn't give to forget my first watch of Tango on the Campania and relive that magic all over again. Yuta knows who Sebastian is with every fiber of his being. And the fact that you see him over the course of three plays means you get to witness for yourself how his Sebastian goes from being a smirking demon who lives to impress, to a creature who understands fear, hardship, and pain. And yet you still wonder: is he really learning and growing after all? Or am I too being tricked by this suave being who appears to be emotionally moved?

I'm also proud to report that Yuta plays Sebastian as a true idiot. He says silly things, he behaves in silly ways! He's embarrassing enough to make Ciel roll his eyes, he uses his brawn before his brain, and he's often surprised enough to gasp. He's not afraid to look impressed or astounded or even frightened: he wears his emotions on his sleeves, but he can hide them just as quickly. This Sebastian lives for attention from humans, but what he loves even more is learning from them — perhaps so he can become a better hunter, perhaps so he can become a better scholar. He leaves you wondering which in the most intriguing way.

And I may be biased, but Yuta to me is the most paternal of all the Sebastians. Whether or not a fatherly nature is intended, I'm at least happy to report that his Sebastian is not one romantically inclined towards Ciel. His coworker is an actual child, so there's no reason that should be an acceptable angle anyway, but it really shows in all the little ways he primps at and supports Ciel on-stage. His rapport with Reo is especially adorable and shines through in their every scene.

Not to mention, he's so endlessly entertaining to watch. He has legs for days and he can fuckin groove. He may be playing a demon but he has the voice of an angel. If I called him to my house, he'd probably fix my leaky shower. What can't this gift of a man do??

I could literally go on and on and on for paragraphs. Yana is just the same. We all love Yuta Furukawa, the only Sebastian who is more Sebastian than Sebastian and probably the best thing, in my humble opinion, to come out of the Kuroshitsuji franchise. Thank you, based Yunbastian. We did nothing to deserve you.

[litta-jpg]

i wonder how that happened

[loullipopx]

Yay I finally drew all the sailors !! 💕🩷✨

[brattybottombunny]

the smell of warm spices and homemade sauce flooding our apartment greets you as soon as you cross the threshold, finally in your safe place after a long day at work. you find me in the kitchen, oversized t-shirt and tiny shorts, dancing along to some music you can’t quite make out. standing in the doorway, you watch me as i mind the simmering pot on the stove, adding a little wine to the sauce before topping off the glass in my hand and a smirk pulls at your lips. a little for the food, a little for the chef, after all.

next thing i know, you’re behind me, your strong, warm hands finding my hips. i lean back into you, humming happily. “hi baby!” i tilt my head back to find your lips and kiss you. you return my smile as i shift my focus back to the meal im preparing, your hands never leaving my hips. “hi baby, smells good. you’ve been busy, huh?” i nod, kissing your lips with a smile quickly before turning back to face the stovetop.

i feel your hands start to move, gripping my hips a little firmer as you gently start to sway me against you. i bite my lip, but i can’t help but let myself sink into you. your fingers massage into my hips, still rocking my back against your front. “baby….” i whine. “i have to finish the food…” i can feel you smile against my neck before your lips graze my warm skin. “im not doing anything to stop you, love. finish whatever you need.” i know you’re not gonna give up, so i try to regain some composure and return to the food in front of me.

your hands start to wander, inching dangerously lower, making me a little weak in the knees. “babyyyyy,” it comes out whinier than i expected and again, i can feel you smirking against my neck. you don’t say anything, just squeeze my hips a little and i know you’re expecting me to finish our meal. your lips and teeth keep working at my neck, trying to distract me and it’s working. almost.

one of your hands finally sneaks into my shorts and down the front of my panties. your fingertips find my clit, hard and slick under your touch, and i can’t help but let out a quiet moan. your lips plant another kiss against my neck before you find my ear. “don’t stop. or i will.” i mumble a quiet fuck under my breath, thanking myself that the hardest part of the preparation is over. your fingers start slipping across my clit again, teasing my wetness. i bite down a squeaky moan, attending to the food in front of me while you continue to tease me. you’ve got me so worked up and you just started touching me…im trying to steady my legs, all with your hand still moving between my thighs where i need you most.

moments later, i can feel two of your fingers teasing at my entrance, barely slipping into me as you sink your teeth into my neck and i hiss, “baby, as much as i don’t want to stop you, i have to move these pots…” you circle around my clit a little more deliberately before you take your hand out of my soaked panties. “whatever you say,” you reply, your hand returning to my hip. i adjust the food, transferring things from one vessel to another as quickly as i can, growing desperate for your hands on me again. i push everything aside, knowing it can stay warm because my focus is lost.

i turn around to face you, throwing my arms around your neck and kissing you deeply. you groan into my mouth, your hands squeezing my hips so hard i think you’ll leave bruises. “maybe it’s time for dessert first,” i breathe against your lips. you respond by catching my lips with yours, one of your hands finding it’s way to my neck, holding, squeezing gently. a small gasp gets stuck in my throat and i feel you smirk against my lips. you kiss me even deeper, harder, squeezing just a little more around my neck. “i think you’re right, doll. screw the rules, dessert first.”

you back me up into the cabinets, locking me in place as your knee settles between my thigh. before i can even realize it, your fingers are back in my panties, playing with my clit once more. i moan louder than i had all evening, finally able to actually focus on your hands on me, your lips on mine. i start grinding against your hand, your thigh between my knees adding delicious pressure against my core. im so wet for you, your fingers are slipping around, feeling every inch of me melt under your ministrations. before i can realize it, you plunge two of your fingers into me, filling me up quickly. my arms tighten around you, nails digging into your shoulders as i throw my head back and moan loudly.

your fingers continue to pump into me, moving quickly while your thumb grazes my hard clit. “fuck baby, fuck fuck fuck oh my god,” my mouth is at your ear, spilling sinful moans as your fingers keep moving inside of me. “baby, please. please don’t stop.” i can feel you add another finger and start moving faster, your wrist pumping into me and im getting dangerously close. “you’re gonna make me cum. oh my god you’re gonna make me cum so hard for you, darling.” your teeth sink into my neck, bracing yourself against me as you fuck into me faster and faster. “cum for me, princess. i want to feel you cum on my fingers. cum for me,” it comes out in a groan as you feel me start to clench around you, my orgasm right. there.

“cum. now.”

your command sends me over the edge, my cunt pulsing around your fingers, almost pushing you out of me. i can’t help but moan out your name loudly as my nails dig into your shoulders, cumming around your strong fingers. “fuck, fuck baby,” im so overwhelmed and overstimulated, trying to come down from the orgasm you gave me. your fingers stay inside, not moving, but keeping me full.

your head rests against mine for a few minutes as we come down together, breathing heavily and kissing each other gently…you pull your fingers out of me, making me whine at the emptiness. you pull back from me, dark eyes blown wide with desire, searching for something in my own eyes. i bite my lip, the stare growing too intense, causing me to look away, for only a brief moment.

“i’m not done with you yet…” it sounds like a threat, a promise of a good time, something that makes me weak in the knees. with a squeak, your arms hook around me and lift me onto the counter. im, in a way, taller than you now and can’t help but giggle at the perspective shift. i hum with satisfaction, my one hand reaching to tangle in your hair. “i like this view baby,” i say with a smirk and a slight tug on your hair.

i yelp in shock and pleasure as your teeth sink into my thigh. “remember who you’re talking to, angel.” “or what?” i can’t even stop myself from the bratty response, head still swimming as i feel you bite my soft thigh again and i let out another moan, wiping away any attitude i had left. “or else, i won’t let you cum again. i’ll still fuck you, but you won’t be allowed to cum.” i hate to be denied and my resolve to brat is slowly melting out between my legs and i give you a sheepish grin, biting my lip in a silent promise to behave.

you mercifully stay between my legs, your fingertips grazing over my thighs and legs as you tilt your head up to kiss me. “good girl.” you break the kiss and i whine, but soon i realize your head is lower now, settling between my thighs. “scoot down a little. i need the best angle to taste you.” carefully, i wiggle my ass to the edge of the counter, my dripping center now almost directly in front of your face. even just the light whisper of your breath is driving me wild, my need for you growing. “baby, please don’t tease me. please, i need you.” you look up at me for one brief second and i can see the glint in your eye and i bite my lip again. “please?”

that seems to be all it takes before you dive in, your tongue parting my lips, drinking me in. i practically scream instantly, the warmth of your mouth and the force of your tongue overwhelming me. you drag your tongue from the bottom of my entrance up to my clit in one motion before wrapping your lips around my sensitive bud. you begin to suck and lap at my clit, my eyes almost rolling back in my head. your hands hold me still on top of the counter, fingers digging into my soft thighs and preventing me from moving too much. one of my hands finds it’s way to your head, fingers wrapping around your hair, not pulling but keeping you right where you are.

i feel you moan against me which only makes me wetter and i know there’s gonna be a little puddle on the countertop. you release my clit, returning your tongue to the rest of my drenched pussy. you alternate between long, slow licks, tasting every inch of me, and short thrusts, your tongue fucking my hole. “fuck, fuuuuck, fuck. please. please. pleaseeeee.” you pull away from me, the tension in my hand failing from the pleasure and your eyes are devious, face covered in my slick. “please what, princess? do you even know what you’re begging for?” im panting, my chest heaving with my short breaths as my body tries to adjust to the lack of sensation. “i-i, fuck. i know what im begging for baby. im begging,” - my head is swimming and i can hardly get the words out - “im begging you to make me cum again. i want to cum for you again.”

“your wish is my command, angel,” and with a cheeky wink, your face is once again buried between my thighs, making quick work of where you left off. i moan for you again, getting squeakier and more high pitched and your fingers dig into my thighs and i know im gonna be deliciously sore when you’re done with me. i almost feel like im getting close and you must know because you start slowing down. feverish and almost erratic fucking turns into long, lazy laps at my wetness. it almost feels like torture as you suck my clit into your mouth again before releasing it almost as quickly as you started. “baby, please. i need it. don’t tease me, please baby.”

i feel you laugh against me and i open my mouth to complain before you resume your original pace and all that comes out of my mouth is a choked out squeal. your tongue is lavishing me, coaxing more and more wetness from me. you pull away for just a second, catching your breath but planting soft kisses on the tops of my thighs, littering them across my slick lips. i’ve barely got my breathing slowed down when i feel your mouth circling my clit once more and two of your fingers fucking into me. i don’t even have the slimmest of chances to last and my walls start tightening around your fingers almost immediately. you groan against me, drunk on the feeling of me clenching around you, of me dripping down your chin. “don’t stop, oh my god, please don’t stop. im gonna cum. baby, oh babyyyyy, im gonna im gonna -“

your fingers continue to move faster, your mouth more firm around my clit as i cum with a scream against you. moments pass and you slip your fingers out reaching up to me and i gladly take them into my mouth, moaning again at my own taste on your fingers. your mouth is still on me, tongue moving slowly and delicately. every brush against my clit is almost too much, still reeling from the orgasms you gave me.

“baby, c’mere. up here…” you pull away from me and take your hand out of my mouth and move it to my neck, holding me steady as you kiss me softly. my own hand reaches for the back of your neck, holding you there gently. “wow…” is all i can manage as i wrap my legs around you and you pull me down from the counter. my legs feel like jelly now that i have to stand on them again but you never stop holding me steady. “sit down, princess. i’ll plate everything up. you need to rest, you were so good for me, my angel.”

[cornflakesdoesart]

my piece for the luzeni zine “Inspector Zenigata: Love and war with Lupin III” from last year :-3

[chair002]

Decadence by J.C. Leyendecker (but it's qCellbit and qRoier)

[its-hyperfixation]

just have patience. it’s not how you spend the time, it’s if you waste it.

happy early birthday my beloved @bellamyblakru , i love u so much. thank u for being my friend <3

[femivi]

“i've had the delight to meet the captain's secretary on numerous occasions.. at first glance, you would think that she is someone distant and cold, but when you get to know femi or talk to her for the first time, you immediately realise you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover. despite her lack of enthusiasm, she is quite empathetic and polite. the more you delve into her world, the more layers of warmth and kindness you uncover, reaffirming the old saying that appearances can indeed be very much deceiving.” — childe

◆ name: femi

◆ title: lone flower, hemmed in with snows

◆ a gentle yet brave secretary guarding secrets of the first harbinger

◆ vision: dendro

◆ constellation: galanthus nivalis

[icarribooyou]

☆ marcille and sanrio ☆

[bruhstation]

Random question for Casa Tidmouth prequel What's the love story between ten cents and zip?

you’re in for a ride. welcome to another installment of senja v. b. heterocaine’s “doomed queer couple” series

before I start this incredibly long love story between two of bigg city harbour’s most struggling youth, it’s probably necessary to read about ten cents’ and zip’s relationships with their respective captains (here and here) because their influences are integral in shaping their relationship. you have? now let’s go!

ten cents and zip first met two weeks before the events of sunshine (episode 1). ten cents has been working for the star fleet for at least three months now. he was still brash, impatient, and immoveable by anyone besides captain star and hercules. it was also zip’s first day at work. besides being trained (more like impatiently taught) by zorran about how to work at the harbor and the culture of interacting with his z-stacks coworkers, zip didn’t know what to expect of the star fleet. captain zero did tell him that they’re folks not to be friendly with, so zip stuck to that. whoever captain zero hated, zip will also hate.

so there zip was, with his newly christened tugboat. as soon as ten cents and his coworkers spotted the z-stacks’ number 5, ten cents was not pleased. at all. four z-stacks was nasty enough, so another one? ten cents hadn’t even talked to him or know anything about his personality and he’s already developed a dislike towards the new z-stack.

zip’s mouth was out of control. he was saying some of the meanest (yet emptiest) things because he quickly picked up on zug’s habits as well as letting himself get dragged everywhere by him. ten cents also didn’t like zip. whenever zip shoots an accusation or makes fun of ten cents, ten cents shoots back a response in retaliation, resulting in zip always shrinking and retreating. in ten cents’ eyes, zip is just another cunning z-stacks in the making. his naivety and capability to ONLY parrot what was said to him were frustrating. so what if he’s just a spineless newbie? what became of zip wasn’t any of ten cents’ problem. to ten cents, zip was trouble. to zip, ten cents was an enemy.

still at the start of the story and things are already muddy. ten cents was incredibly stubborn and impatient, already assuming the worst and letting his personal dislike for the z-stacks cloud his judgement. zip, despite his inability to be a genuinely malicious person, has exhibited signs of him possibly following the cloudy path of captain zero. their dislike towards one another were further amplified by their respective captains’ influences.

then they met each other outside of work for the first time. it was a particularly slow day, so zip was told to buy groceries by captain zero (designated z-stacks errand boy). he then stumbled upon ten cents who was sitting on a bench near the bridge cafe and doing crosswords on the morning newspaper. ten cents was avoiding captain star’s presence for the day so he can have some time alone. zip looked at him, curious, but was driven away by an angry ten cents. stammering on his excuses, he quickly ran away.

their second, third, and so-on encounter wasn’t any better. ten cents grew out of shouting at zip and just shot glares at him. there’s even a moment where ten cents directly asked zip what his deal was, to which he replied that he’s just wondering what ten cents was up to.

ten cents: and how is that any of your business, eh? wanna snitch on me? zip: oh, a man c-can’t even be wary of what his enemy’s up to anymore?

ten cents just pursed his lips at that and went away. any anger or assumption of villainy that he had towards the newest z-stack dissipated. what a weirdo, he thought.

eventually, ten cents realized just how bad zip was at maintaining his “devious and scheming” front and that he’s most likely a young man who got mixed with the wrong crowd. his annoyance turned into… fondness? amusement? anyways. the next week, ten cents could feel zip’s stare at him from the shop’s window, so he eventually got zip to come to him by calling him over to the bench (“you ever do anything besides running errands for captain zero?”). there’s still tension in the air and ten cents wasn’t even sure that he’s making the right choice by calling zip over, but they bonded over the hard crossword puzzles. they shared quips and banters, though they both notice the lack of malice whenever they make fun of one another.

there’s an unspoken understanding that their respective captains won’t be happy to see them together, so they bid farewell after a while. ten cents and zip felt something odd. one felt fun being around the other. they also began to be more amicable at work instead of showing hostility, much to the confusion of their peers (and displeased eye rolls from zug and zak). they met outside of work again and ten cents noticed a pattern on the time zip usually went out and how he’d always go out at least twice a week.

they gradually warm up to each other and start hanging out more and more. it gradually went from coincidental to planned. ten cents enjoyed zip’s interest in the things he enjoy, while zip enjoys having ten cents around and talking with him about things not related to work, mainly because there’s nobody in the z-stacks that’s his age. just teenagers being teenagers.

ten cents learned that zip likes reading children’s books and aesop fables. some of his favorites are pinnochio and the country mouse and town mouse story. he also began to like doing word puzzles like crosswords and word searches and was still learning how to read and write. zip learned that ten cents likes drinking coke, playing card games like blackjack, and exploring/learning new places and things “like folks with money”.

ten cents promised that he’ll teach zip anything that he wanted to know. how to let loose a little bit. he taught zip how to attract pigeons at the dock. he taught zip how to open a can of cola with his teeth, how to (incorrectly) use random objects they found near abandoned schools, how to float on the water, how to sneak into cinemas, how to dance, how it feels to have a friend, and so on. ten cents just wants to show zip what living is really like despite being stuck under his captain’s tutelage himself, and he didn’t know exactly why.

they understand that they share a lot of similarities. the one clash they have was about their captains. ten cents dislikes captain star’s way of running things and generally has a really complicated way of viewing him, while zip, who has rose tinted glasses equipped for captain zero, didn’t understand why he dislikes captain star. every child are obligated to love their guardians. that’s just how things are. those are what zip thought. this didn’t sit well with ten cents who was actively seeking freedom for himself without captain star at his ear all the time.

unfortunately their respective captains weren’t exactly very fond of them being buddy-buddy with each other. captain star believes that ten cents is getting more out of hand, while captain zero dismisses zip’s feelings for ten cents as naive and foolish. not to mention how their captains are divorced from each other. that’s definitely affecting what they taught about love to ten cents and zip.

captain star @ ten cents: I’m trying to put you in the correct path, but here you are, fraternizing with someone from the z-stacks. I want you to be happy, but what have you been doing? captain zero @ zip: what you have for him is MERE teenage infatuation. if there are other people in your place, he would befriend them instead. that’s not TRUE camaraderie, boy.

ten cents didn’t take into account what captain star said. he knew that he’s dead set on wanting to hang out with zip more. besides, despite being a bit wary, some of his friends were supportive of him, especially sunshine and hercules (who also slips in money so ten cents can take zip out). hercules even took ten cents and zip on car rides. sunshine and hercules were no snitch.

zip, however, was still influenced by captain zero and believed that anything good he has will eventually go away. all of these gave their friendship a lot of ups and downs, not to mention how they disagreed on a lot of things as much as they agreed with. zip’s loyalty to captain zero still outweighed his friendship with ten cents even though they’re getting closer.

zip had mentioned several times how much he adore and love captain zero like one does to their father, yet all ten cents know about the z-stacks captain through zip was how slimy and morally questionable he is. zip was so happy when he recounted the times he went shooting birds and handling rabid dogs with captain zero, when captain zero taught him how to handle guns and how he “””affectionately””” called zip “boy”, when he watched his z-stacks folks fight a bunch of drunk thugs, and so on. ten cents also learned that zip’s name was given to him by the z-stacks, not by his parents or anything. why were all of zip’s stories so… odd? yet zip said it all casually as if… he didn’t understand the weight of those sentences he’s said.

ten cents: heheh. what’s so good about living with captain zero, anyways? zip: wouldn’t you like to know! I get three meals a day and have a place to sleep. I also get money for my hard work. oh, I’m practically living the life! ten cents: ten cents: hey, that’s… uh. that’s the bare minimum, zip. zip: huh? oh, alright. ten cents: zip: zip: so, um, wanna go cool down by the beach? ten cents: sure, zip.

which is why ten cents was horrified to hear zip easily say “people end up miserable at the end of their relationships.” during one of their hangouts. ten cents’ habit of lashing out when he’s frustrated was starting to boil, but he got ahold of himself and just nodded to what zip said, incredibly disappointed. he did know something more sinister was at play here. the remainder of the hangout was awkward, so they went their respective ways and didn’t hang out for a week, though they still greeted each other at work.

they then found themselves missing each other. ten cents still spends time with his best friend sunshine, but sunshine already knows everything there is about ten cents. zip got bored and fidgety with his significantly older coworkers because all they talked about were barges and contracts (sans zorran and zebedee who had shown some semblance of worry for him). captain zero became more paranoid and demanding of everyone, especially zip whom he needed yet barely cared for. zip thought hanging out with ten cents was fun. it felt good and natural. this was a friendship that was not influenced by the state of their respective companies’ rivalry. zip wanted more from what he has with ten cents.

zip believes that ten cents was purposefully avoiding him. he confronted ten cents and asked why they weren’t seeing each other as much lately, afraid of not being friends with ten cents anymore. ten cents told him that they’ll always be friends. friends have their disagreements. so they talked. ten cents told zip that he should be more careful in taking into consideration the things captain zero had taught zip (he knew he had to use words that zip can both understand and not get offended at) and he didn’t want zip to get himself into danger trouble. zip nodded. he told ten cents that he’s beginning to question captain zero a lot, being uncomfortable because zip realized that the z-stacks might not like him as much as he liked them, and felt like he didn’t belong in the z-stacks… but zip brushed them all off as him being a stupid boy. after he’s done, ten cents pulled zip into a hug slowly, as if he doesn’t want to shock him, as if he’s telling him that he’s not stupid and that he’s wrong about a lot of things. zip was still confused, but he knew full well that the hug felt nice. he liked the hug. their relationship seemingly took an ascending hill from that point.

ten cents didn’t want to ruin the friendship they have because he treated zip as a ray of hope of living like a “normal” young man, while zip was still hauled by captain zero’s belief that he’s destined to be miserable if he pursues this relationship. it didn’t help that zip knows he’s in love with ten cents but didn’t know how to process it because nobody taught him what a healthy relationship is like (then zorran came into view, having warmed up and bettered himself throughout the course of fortezza bigg city).

on one of their hangouts, in a field a bit far from bigg city port, zip blurted out that he loves ten cents in a romantic way. he’d always feel genuinely safe and happy whenever he’s around the star fleet youth, saying that he wants ten cents to keep teaching him fun things and always be with him. ten cents, though initially surprised at the absolute courage zip had at saying something so bold, quickly reciprocated. they had a feeling that they’ve been in love with each other for a while. zip wanted ten cents to teach him how to be a good partner in a relationship but ten cents said that they can learn together. they can take it slow. they don’t have to do the things people in relationships do when the both of them aren’t ready yet. ten cents admitted that the things that he had taught to zip were also things he had little experience prior. zip laughed, and once again, they shared a hug.

this time, it was zip teaching ten cents and bringing him to places. their relationship had little change compared to their friendship except that they’re more touchy feely with each other – ten cents putting his hand on zip’s shoulder, zip resting his head on ten cents’, hugging, hand holding, all that – considering that they’re now dating. they eventually kissed when zip asked ten cents to kiss him, although awkwardly and shyly (uncharacteristically so from ten cents’ side), but felt good, it felt right. 

they kept their relationship mostly a secret because they know not everyone will be happy with it. sunshine fully understands, both because he has ten cents’ full trust and knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone that not many people liked (that is bigg city port’s harbinger of bad luck). hercules too. he believes in their decision but still made sure the two boys weren’t doing anything stupid. zebedee and zorran were more lax with their youngest coworker dating someone from the star fleet. zebedee didn’t pry too much on zip’s business but he did ask from time to time how ten cents was doing. zorran, on the other hand, was more fussy – wanting the best for zip and to stop him from spiraling down like he did, but he knew that a certain someone has his eyes on them. captain zero would NOT be happy. they mostly try to keep zak and zug from snitching to captain zero… which would later produce a domino effect on the z-stacks’ security.

ten cents and zip’s relationship didn’t always go smoothly. they love each other – it’s just that the environment they’re in aren’t exactly in favor of the relationship they want. captain star still keeping the star fleet in the dark about his past, zip slowly losing faith in captain zero and purposefully not allowed to know that captain zero has criminal relations and the z-stacks are in cahoots with him, johnny cuba with his blackmail, the police growing more wary about the criminal activities infesting bigg city port, the possibility of captain zero having to run away if his cover gets blown, ten cents knowing full well that zip is going to be caught in the crossfire if captain star decides to take action yet not knowing how to say it to zip properly…. and the fact that they’re in the great depression. just all around not a great time 

(there’s a plot point in fortezza bigg city where captain zero’s past relations caught up to him and zip eventually had to pay a visit to the star fleet in their office building, but it’s WAY too long and hard and tragic to explain. this is a long story. thanks for being patient)

at the end of the story, both ten cents and zip have changed significantly. ten cents is more mellowed and patient – willing to understand people who are not exactly as “right” as he is. zip is no longer the naive, easily influenced young man that idolized and looked up to captain zero. despite what captain star had put upon him, ten cents wished he was better. despite what captain zero had done to him, zip still loved captain zero. 

but it’s alright. they know they have someone that knows what they went through. 

(there’s also a couple of fics I’m writing right now related to zipcents. one involves them and school, while the other is heavily zip-centric)

[jinglyhigh-heels]

Y’all holy shit.

I just finished Do NOT Take This Cat Home, and like. Holy Shit. (I need so much fucking therapy.) (Spoilers under the cut like HEAVILY.)

First of all, of fucking course I would play this when I’m feeling lonely. Literally two days ago, I was thrown into A Mood when a coworker seemed surprised by my lack of friends. Everything feels Stagnant and I’m feeling like. Idek. And then I see this game, and it decides to absolutely Gut me with the dialogue you get if you choose ‘don’t take the cat home’ -> ‘leave’ -> ‘go back’ -> ‘stay’. “What’s the point when you’re always doing all of it completely and utterly alone? Even going home to your apartment wouldn’t help, would it…? One bedroom. One bathroom. …And one you living alone in it.” And then the cat comforting you…not speaking, just meowing, lightly pawing at you, listening as you open up even more… (verbalizing thoughts is so hard) “I really do like being alone most of the time. It’s the only time I really feel comfortable being myself, you know? …But even I get lonely every now and then. It’s easy to ignore when I’m keeping myself busy…” And phew, do I have complicated feelings about whether I actually stay ‘busy’ or not lmfao. “That’s why I pushed myself to go out today, I think…” I’ve done this, but not only out of loneliness and more as a desperate attempt to stave off the monotony of my too-big, too-empty house. “Heh, or maybe I was hoping to make a friend or something…” pfft. AHAHAHAHA. Gonna be honest, I was relating so hard to this scene that this line so viscerally shocked me it got me to laugh. I’m not comfortable with that!! I don’t know how to do that!!! At all!!!! If I were to ever gain a friend by going out, THEY would have to approach ME. And who would ever do that? “…though I guess that wouldn’t be a good idea. I doubt someone like me would make for a very good friend to anyone…” …yeah. And this complex of mine is even worse for online. Like, I’m bad at holding conversations (and initiating them, and knowing when/how to end them…), but at least in person we can be Doing something, take away from the Need for conversation.

…but anyway. Then you say: “okay, okay, maybe I won’t go so far as to say that, but…” I would. I’ve, been told otherwise from outside sources enough to know it’s not entirely true, but it really, truly feels that way to me. And that’s pretty much the end of the explicit dialogue. The scene isn’t over, but this is really what wrecked me.

But ahhhh that’s not even all of it. Not by a long shot. This scene just feels like. The easier? Shorter? Part to explain?

Because now, we gotta talk about the overarching plot of the game. And that is, escaping from an abuser/abusive situation. It didn’t really click for me that that’s what this is, until I went into the game for the second and final time, and actually read the content warnings; which, you can probably guess what it said. Before this, I thought this was a game about unconditional love, and how it can be bad for you. …I honestly still kind of thought that, until I got the dialogue about how this WASN’T unconditional love. In some abstract way I can’t describe, it made sense to me then. I, can’t even describe how now.

…but the point here is that I still longed for it, in some kind of twisted way. The ending where you and the cat groom each other? Where, in a twisted attempt to pay you back from the grooming you gave it, it forces fur to grow both in and out your body—killing you—so it can groom you? When you choose to sleep with the cat, and you stay there forever until you literally crumble into dust? WHEN YOU TURN INTO A DOLL AND CUDDLE, UNTHINKING AND UNFEELING, NEXT TO THE CAT FOREVER?? When you beg for forgiveness to the cats and puke up fish until you die, then are given the chocolate as a sign of forgiveness? (Edit: the pain just made the scraps of kindness so much sweeter. Which. Hoo boy.) Both endings where you give the cat your blood as food? The mice eating you, and the cat killing them all in turn? Even the endings I didn’t directly long for, I often found myself thinking ‘this is fine, right? I’m helping sustain this creature, so it’s fine.’ (Side note though, this is still a fictional story, so this likely doesn’t 1:1 reflect how I would feel in an irl situation like this.)

But I know exactly why I wanted this. In the face of all the horror, the terror, I still wanted this, because it was a love I didn’t have to actually put any work towards. Who cares if I don’t have the energy to initiate conversation? Initiate playtime? No matter how much it hurts, it’ll love me and keep me close in this infinite dance no matter what.

(And what makes this story so great regarding abuse is that it actually WON’T. It’ll beat me down until I won’t resist, absorb my remains, and move on to the next person. (Except I DO resist but that’s something for a discussion about the game’s plot, not. Whatever this is.))

It’s part of the reason I think I was having such a great time looking at a list of cats at my local shelter two days ago. I HAVE cats. I love them dearly! But they’re work, and I feel like I’m not doing things right with them cuz they want and need things and I either can’t understand what they want or I don’t have the energy/motivation to give it to them. But when I look at all these cats that I can adopt, everything is theoretical. I can imagine how much they would love me, how much easier it would be to take care of THIS cat instead of the (already really low maintenance tbh) cats that I already have. THIS cat will fix me. Adding THIS lovable responsibility to my list will TOTALLY make me a more functional human being!

[griddlebait]

Happy lesbian visibility week to the residents of apartment 69 🎉

woo!!! here’s chapter 24 as a day-late celebration

[kohakhearts]

goh starter trio meta perhaps? i was ensnared by the goh-scorbunny parallel subpoint in the cubone meta bc i'm making myself unwell thinking about how scorbunny latching on to goh and goh latching on to ash.... but also more generally, sobble's whole thing and the absolute tearjerker drizzile evolution episode, and goh's weird ass dream about his rillaboom parents and then waking up to baby grookey clinging to his arm, you get it, i know you're galaxy brained about this

YESSS I AM *SO* GLAD YOU ASKED!!

so my tl;dr here is that all of the galar starters represent something about goh specifically relating to his childhood. their growth and eventual evolution (or lack thereof!) therefore serve to highlight his character development (as an aside, i think this is a very common theme in anipoke. ash's pikachu not evolving speaks to the fact that ash's growth isn't about becoming someone new but about staying true to himself and embracing a battle style that reflects the creative ingenuity that, in the early os, other characters mocked him for. similarly, dawn's piplup chooses not to evolve because it doesn't want to change how things are between them. does this not seem fitting for the partner of someone like dawn, who has always admired her mother so much that she never even considering doing something other than following in her footsteps? i'm sure there are other examples, but these seem to me the most obvious ones!).

let's break down each one, then!

scorbunny

when we meet scorbunny, goh is still determined that mew will be his first pokemon. this is a point of stubbornness that, while impressive and arguably kind of admirable, is frankly kind of stupid. how is he supposed to get to mew without any pokemon to help him? there's an interesting implication in this resolution, which jn004 and jn005 really highlight for us - goh isn't comfortable with having a pokemon. he knows a lot about them, is interested in researching them, but as far as the bond between pokemon and trainer goes, i don't think he feels prepared for that. it's easier to pick a target that is far from reasonably attainable for him at this point, especially since he does have some history with mew - didn't it take an interest in him? didn't it give him a reason to chase after it?

so meeting scorbunny, he's obviously not thinking about catching it. but he lies to the guy at the scone stand, in an interesting parallel to how scorbunny steps in to protect the nickit. he doesn't even seem to know why he does it. but just before that scene, he sees scorbunny wipe some of the dirt off its face. he doesn't get the whole story and connect all the dots until after, but i think he realizes then that scorbunny is trying to hide itself in some way. that it's performing as something it's not. and on some unconscious level, that motivates him to lie for it. after, we get this whole exchange, where the scone seller tells ash and goh the story

and this note is what makes goh get up and approach scorbunny and the nickit:

it's very symbolic that he wipes the mud off scorbunny's face. and then later, he even points out when they see it again that it looks better without all the mud covering it up - it looks more like itself. it's not pretending to be something it's not. goh wiping the mud off its face is him saying that he accepts it as it is. that being resigned to living a certain way just to fit in or just because that's how it's always been is pointless.

and i mean...even ash says in this scene that the things goh is saying are things he's only recently learned himself, right? goh denies it (and tbh when he says that he's always thought the world is big and anyone can explore it if they want to or whatever - i don't think that's untrue! i think it's just that, prior to meeting ash, he didn't have it in him to explore it), but ash has a point. and what goh is doing for scorbunny here is the same thing that ash did for him.

relatedly, scorbunny follows him, right? in the same way that goh "accepts" ash as his friend, scorbunny chooses goh as its trainer. goh recognizes that it travelled far for him, that it saw a vision of its future with him, and changes his mind about not catching it. i think the determination he saw in scorbunny to chase after its dreams resounded with him, because he's only just started doing the same thing. and his entire character is built around this idea of like, learning how to adapt and how to let other people help you find the courage to chase your dreams (and even to help you chase them). how could he possibly deny scorbunny the same thing?

but while scorbunny's enthusiasm helps motivate goh to chase his dreams, he is very flippant and dismissive, as we see when it learns ember and he says it doesn't matter, that scorbunny doesn't need to know a fire-type move and this gut-punch of a line, of course:

goh is someone who needs a lot of convincing to do things he doesn't think he'll be good at (or enjoy). he only joins project mew because gary goads him into it. he spends most of his life refusing to make friends, because he had one bad experience. he's a fairly black-and-white thinker, which makes sense considering his background. he doesn't really believe in change. he especially doesn't believe that people (or pokemon, in this case) can change their circumstances just through hard work and determination. as we see in jn003 with the ivysaur, he also doesn't think that it's anyone else's place to intervene and "help" others. if you can't change something, then don't. and there's no point in hoping it'll change on its own, either.

when scorbunny storms off here, his expression is interesting. this isn't the expression of someone being judgemental. it's the expression of someone who sympathizes.

he sees scorbunny trying so hard to do something he thinks it can't do and thinks that scorbunny's determination to change things is, if i had to guess, kind of immature. a lesson scorbunny will have to learn, whether it wants to or not. at first it's kind of endearing, but then he actually gets frustrated, because he feels like scorbunny's determination to learn ember is harmful to them both. here, there's a degree of "why won't you just trust that i know what's best for you?" for sure, but on a deeper level, i think that stems from a place of "can't you see that i'm just trying to protect you?"

...but obviously, all he really does is wind up lashing out and hurting scorbunny's feelings. he tells ash that he was trying to draw out scorbunny's strengths (and he was, by telling it to use moves it was already good at!), but ash points out that their values weren't aligned and that's kind of the opposite of strength when it comes to pokemon battling. so he reassesses the situation and finds a way to bring out scorbunny's strength that also aligns with what scorbunny wants. that compromise is what makes scorbunny evolve. it was the right call! but then raboot starts ignoring him.

and this is like. a running gag with scorbunny - goh gets distracted by other things and doesn't notice that it's trying to show him things. it happens when they meet and it happens again in this episode with its ember. we see something very similar with goh and his parents in jn032 when he's excited at the prospect of their vacation together, but when he tries to ask what they want to do, he turns around and find they're both asleep (and we see the flashback of something similar happening last time, too).

with raboot, in a lot of ways, goh is grappling with...himself. or at least, the person he was before he met ash - cold and distant, more interested in doing whatever he thinks is worth his time than in school, for example. so if goh saw his child self in scorbunny, he sees his more "adolescent" (i mean. he's still ten so still child, technically. but older child lol) self in raboot. and he actually responds to this in a way that's a lot like how we see his parents responding to him. in jn022, we see him

buy a bunch of apples for raboot, even though he thinks it doesn't need them (and is hurt when it doesn't let him have one, despite raboot seeming pleased that he bought them for it). compare to the device he shows horace in jn032, for example, which he says his parents built for him. or his six computer monitors. his parents reach him best through material means!

question why raboot hates him when it's not responsive to his overtures. contrarily, goh's parents don't think he hates them; they just automatically assume the worst case scenario (like in jn015 when he calls and they immediately wonder if he did something and got kicked out of the institute). but while that's their worst case scenario about him, raboot hating him is kind of goh's worst case scenario, right? it took him time to open up and accept scorbunny as his partner. now that it's evolved and is acting differently, he's terrified that he came to care for it only for it to leave him.

which leads to my last point here, which is that he doesn't actually ask what it wants. in this episode, he concludes that raboot would be happier without him. so he leaves it behind, but he never actually considers how it might feel. goh's parents do the same thing! they worry about him, but they don't share their concerns or ask how he feels. they just assume that he must feel a certain way and they adapt to compensate for that. but they never actually ask him what he wants.

this episode ends with him realizing that he hasn't been reacting to raboot's feelings so much as to his own, of course, and we see their relationship smooth out quite a bit. he's acknowledging that he's done things wrong, but also that it's not all his fault - and raboot's change in temperment is just a consequence of it evolving. they accept each other again and move on.

then, it evolves into cinderace and kind of opens up again more (though it's been doing that little-by-little since jn022). i think the fact that raboot and riolu evolve at the same time was a really cool move by the writers to kind of demonstrate how like...the relationship between ash and goh is reflected in the growth of their pokemon. they trained together! in a way they kind of grew up together! riolu, ash's token baby pokemon in jn, evolving at the same time as goh's starter feels like a very deliberate choice to highlight how ash helped goh's pokemon grow, too - through getting the ball rolling with how he helped goh grow as a person and a trainer. if that makes sense?

anyway, i don't have much to say about cinderace, other than that if he saw himself as a child in scorbunny and as an older child in raboot, then cinderace's level of openness and its enthusiasm aren't just reflexive of it getting back more of its scorbunny-esque personality - it also shows how goh has changed and has learned to embrace these parts of himself, now that he's in that "coming of age" age (well, for pokemon. he is still only ten lmao).

i think we see something similar with his other starters, though maybe a little less on the nose.

sobble

the drizzile episode, as you mentioned, is probably Thing here. but i think the theme with sobble is sort of that, where scorbunny maybe reflects more of the way goh thought about growing up and his aspirations (and how hard it was to open up to people), sobble more so mirrors his social experiences at school and with chloe.

VISUALLY, i think it's really telling that when goh catches sobble, he's...literally speaking to it from the other side of the water:

this whole episode (jn028) is about goh kind of...forcing sobble into positions it's not necessarily comfortable with, and not realizing that it's uncomfortable until it runs away from him. as we saw with raboot, this is a common theme with goh - but it's most obvious with sobble!

he realizes, of course, and says this:

even in flashbacks, goh never comes across as a shy kid. he doesn't exactly relate to sobble, but i think he's drawing a parallel here between them. he wasn't shy, but he was always on the "outside" - that's why he's so good at researching. he strives to see things as they are without getting involved. eventually, this is something that will make him a pretty thoughtful and strategic battler, though at this point he's still learning how to apply that to more than just research for the sake of research.

and then after sobble meets inteleon, we have these bits too:

goh's childhood motivations on the surface appear to be like...he doesn't want to bother with friends, because they aren't going to be able to serve a purpose for him. he isn't interested in making friends with anyone who is less into pokemon than he is. but after what happens with horace, it seems to get a little more complex, and then we have to wonder if his motivations really were that surface-level to begin with, or if, maybe, his policy of not making friends has always been a way for him to protect himself from betrayals like he experienced with horace.

we see chloe as early as jn001 trying to convince him to make friends, to no success. she doesn't even refer to herself as his friend - he doesn't seem to be willing to let her. he believes he doesn't need friends and is better off alone. but he doesn't realize until after meeting ash that his solitude is more of a self-imposed exile, in that it's hurting him more than other people. he can't improve as a person and reach his goals if he's too busy trying to protect himself to accept that he needs help from other people to do those things. so, again - i think he sees that side of himself in sobble. so it feels very impactful that he reaches out to help sobble become a better battler, but rather than forcing it to battle in a way that makes sense to him, he comes up with a way to have it train that plays off of its strengths of running and hiding.

and then, of course, there's the episode where sobble evolves, jn062. the writers themselves do most of the work here of drawing the parallel between goh's childhood and how drizzile is feeling, but i think it goes even deeper than that. drizzile is unhappy because it wanted to evolve into inteleon, not into drizzile. it's not comfortable in its own skin. and it doesn't necessarily want others to see it, because it feels like it's still growing and it's not ready yet. it kind of just...needs time to sulk and brood. drizzile runs away again, because it's not ready, and while they're looking for it, it's chloe who makes goh start thinking about when he was a kid, by saying this:

which prompts him to think about how he was searching for a "reason" for why drizzile was acting how it was, just like how adults used to demand reasons from him even when he didn't have them. and then of course we get this scene:

but i think he does on some level know why, because he talks immediately after this about how his parents weren't home and often felt lonely. he's more comfortable being alone. he's protecting himself. which is reinforced by the fact that he then tells drizzile this:

goh has a hard time putting his feelings into words, which is something we see throughout jn. he sees that drizzile is the same and this is a huge moment for him, because he's saying here that it doesn't matter what inspired its feelings; he understands it is experiencing those feelings and that's enough. he'll wait until it's ready to fully process them or whatever else it needs. drizzile kind of returns the favour when he starts crying here and it reaches up to brush away his tears, then disappears again.

overall, this episode does an amazing job of showing us how goh has become someone who actually acknowledges his and his pokemon's feelings - this is the only time we see him as a child where he's not doing something to try to ignore his feelings, or trying to walk away from them. in flashbacks, his back is often to his parents. in jn032, he gets upset, and then tries to cover his disappointment up immediately with anger and avoidance. the writers set this scene up so that we can see the reason behind his feelings clearly (just like we can see the reason behind drizzile's, even though goh and co. can't), but they rightly emphasize that goh's ability to analyze "why" he or his pokemon are feeling a certain way isn't always helpful. emotions are meant to be felt, not intellectualized. it's a good message, and a huge area of growth!

drizzile's evolution into inteleon also shows us how this acceptance translates into it eventually being comfortable enough to be who it wants to be. and the characters are impressed by it - it even earns kecleon's admiration, the same way that other inteleon earned its when it was a sobble. this is a pretty clear mirror with goh's social life, where he went from being this friendless outcast figure to someone with a lot of friends, and a great willingness to make more, as he became more comfortable and confident and willing to reach out to others.

and lastly,

grookey

the only one of the three that doesn't evolve, for reasons that aren't ever really made clear to us. but i think that as random (...and tone deaf) as his dream sequence at the start of grookey's debut episode is, it actually makes a lot of sense. in the original, the dream has camille and walker transformed into rillaboom, and goh is understandably freaked out. but i think the bigger, more symbolic thing is that even if it is a dream, his parents are the ones that foist grookey upon him. this does seem like a really weird choice, until you start thinking about the parallels, right?

in reality, grookey is team rocket's pokemon. the episode title "when a house is not a home" tells us that grookey obviously doesn't feel like it "belongs" there. but the episode doesn't open in team rocket's base. it opens in goh's apartment. and the part i didn't show in the drizzile scene above is when he says this:

the fact that goh was home alone a lot as a kid gets brought up fairly often. it implies that he kind of had to adopt this lone wolf persona, because there was no one else around to take care of him. he had to learn how to console himself and meet his own needs (hence why he's so combative about ash intervening with the ivysaur in jn003!), which is a lot of responsibility for a kid. grookey is handed to him like it's a responsibility in his dream, but then they bond. and he starts to appreciate having grookey around, to the point that he misses it when it returns to team rocket.

to me, the choice to have grookey not evolve kind of comes down to grookey being kind of...emblematic of goh's childhood. like, in his dream, grookey is this burden that's forced on him. someone he has to take care of, even though he isn't really prepared to do that. in reality, grookey is escaping from an environment that doesn't meet its needs. putting those two things together, i mean...that's just my reading of it, anyway. so grookey not evolving, and goh accepting grookey as it is - without any of the "growing up" analogs we have with cinderace and inteleon - is a way of showing that goh has come to terms with his childhood and that he accepts (and cherishes!) his childhood self. which he can only really do after he's done all the growing we see reflected in the evolutions of his other starter mons. (relatedly, grookey is the only starter of goh's who goh considers leaving with other mons in its evolution line. specifically, with two thwackey and their child, i.e. a family unit not unlike goh's!)

anyway! this is a very long post, so thanks for sticking with me if you did. hope my takes are as galaxy-brained as you hoped hehe