#phew i finally did it

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

My (somewhat unhinged) tierlist of Arsène Lupin books and (even more unhinged) thoughts on them

S-tier: L’Aiguille creuse, 813, Le Bouchon de cristal, La Comtesse de Cagliostro, L’Agence Barnett et Cie, La Demeure mystérieuse, La Barre-y-va

A-tier: Arsène Lupin gentleman-cambrioleur, Les Huits Coups de l’horloge, La Cagliostro se venge, Les Milliards d’Arsène Lupin

B-tier: Arsène Lupin contre Herlock Sholmès, L’Île aux trente cercueils, Les Dents du tigre, Victor de la Brigade mondaine, Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin

C-tier: Les Confidences d’Arsène Lupin, L’Éclat d’obus, La Demoiselle aux yeux verts, La Femme aux deux sourires

D-tier: Le Triangle d’or

My reasonings and thoughts are under the cut because they got exceedingly long and rambly. I started off trying to be sensible but it appears I progressively lost my sanity as I went along, sorry about that. I read the first ones a long time ago so my recollection of those are much fuzzier than more recent books. Also I read them in French so I have no idea what they’re called in English and was too lazy to look it up (this thing has taken me long enough already). Spoilers abound.

In publication order:

Arsène Lupin gentleman-cambrioleur (Arsène Lupin Gentleman-Thief)

This one is awesome, it really got me into Lupin stories in general. At first I was just reading it to practise my French and so that I could understand the references in the Netflix show, but I ended up genuinely getting into it.

(The Netflix show is great, by the way. I now understand why he named his son Raoul, the context behind “Ganimard”, the vibe in general... Assane Diop is really a fantastic modern-day Lupin!)

Getting to hear about smol Lupin pulling off Baby’s First Heist was very cute!

I still think Miss Nelly is one of the more fun “girlfriends of the week” so far, and I like that she showed up in more than one adventure, as a treat. I hope she’s having a good day.

I also like how Maurice Leblanc, the author, is just... there?? He’s just some guy who is there, who Lupin recounts all his adventures to, and then Leblanc writes them and publishes them. Their friendship is adorable, honestly. I too would want to write myself into the story as a self-insert to be besties with the main character, that’s so valid of him.

Arsène Lupin contre Herlock Sholmès (Arsène Lupin vs. Herlock Sholmes)

At first I actually wasn’t that keen on the full novel format of this one, where it’s one large story rather than multple smaller and moderately unrelated adventures -- but I did still enjoy the book! Basically I thought some of the fun was lost because more time is spent building up the larger plot that previously would have instead been time spent on getting to see Lupin doing his usual funny shenanigans. That being said though, in later books I actually do love the full novel format and it works well for more serious adventures, and the delayed gratification of getting to see the payoff to all that buildup is great. Just not so much in this particular novel (or maybe I need to reread it, it’s been a long time). I still did enjoy it though

The back and forth between Lupin and Sholmès is very fun -- they both take turns outwitting each other, which is nice, because neither is made to feel smarter than the other and they’re very equally matched as far as opponents go. I didn’t even know who I was rooting for some of the time, hehe.

This book was where I first realised that Lupin’s love interests have that “girlfriend of the week” format, because there’s no sign of Miss Nelly here and he’s got a new love interest instead who never shows up again after this. Some girlfriends of the week are more fun or interesting than others. This one was pretty good! I like that she was his partner in crime, helping him out with his shenanigans. I don’t remember much else about her. (Some old-timey sexism is, naturally, to be expected.)

Imagining this Sholmes as the one from the Great Ace Attorney games makes it all very, very funny btw and I highly recommend it

L’Aiguille creuse (The Hollow Needle)

THIS. THIS ONE. OH MY GOD. THIS NOVEL. I SWEAR TO GOD

No really this one changed me. It came into my house and smashed a barrel over my head, killing me instantly. I was in SHOCK when I read it. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I was reading voraciously and near the end I unfortunately had to stop to do life things and the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about it. At the first opportunity I ditched everything else to sit back down to eagerly read more and finish it as quick as I could. My mouth was hanging open by the end. I was in awe. I had no idea a Lupin novel would make me feel such emotions.

(This one is my favourite, I think.)

So like, here the novel format really shines, because it’s all part of a larger adventure, except this time Lupin isn’t only against Sholmès, he also has to contend with Isidore Beautrelet, who is probably my favourite one-off character in the entire series.

For starters, he’s JUST A KID. He’s this poor little teenager who should be focusing on his school and exams but instead is getting caught up in all this madness, and all this because of his own sense of justice. He doesn’t have to put himself in such danger but he repeatedly does, because his conscience won’t let him just leave it.

And Lupin in this one!!! He comes across as much more of the villain this time!!! He’s actively very menacing at times, which I absolutely LOVED. Usually we’re rooting for him, since he’s the protagonist, and even though he’s a thief he’s very much a Robin Hood-type and incredibly honourable, so we want him to win. But this time!! This time!!! The poor little kiddo Isidore gets just as much “screentime” and attention! We don’t want him to get hurt! We want him to win too! And there’s this brilliant clash of wishes here, where we still want Lupin to get away with his crimes, but we also want to see this plucky kid detective succeed, and the emotional buildup of that is phenomenal.

Especially because Lupin basically agrees with the audience here. He doesn’t want this kid to get hurt, he even ends up reluctantly caring about him because he sees aspects of himself in him! He wants him to be safe! But he also knows that the kid is truly a formidable opponent who can’t just be ignored because of his age, so the question is: how far do you go, to scare him off? What if none of that works? What then? What can you even do that’ll sit right with your own conscience? How much are you willing to hurt a child? How much will you let him be traumatised? Especially one who has come to mean something to you? What can you do when you see him like your own son, yet he only sees you as his enemy?

(Man, can you imagine if THIS had been the conflict in the Cagliostro revenge book? Lupin having to fight against his actual son, but properly?)

The scenes within the actual “aiguille creuse” near the end blew my mind. I think I was shaking when I was reading it. The invitation letter left on the table. The slow climb up the tower. The distant sounds of the police. Everything. Lupin, the ominous, terrifying Lupin, having been one step ahead the whole time.

AND THEN. AT THE END. IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. BECAUSE SHOLMÈS. SHOOTS. RAYMONDE.

I cannot get over it and I won’t for as long as I live. Lupin was ready to give it all up -- and he did! These treasures he’d spent YEARS amassing, he gave all that up! He was going to stop! He was going to return to a fully honest life! To be with Raymonde, to soothe his own soul! But then Sholmès!! Fucking!! SHOOTS RAYMONDE!!!!

And that’s it, that’s the end!! It has a tragic ending!!! It completely destroyed me!!!!

I mean, Raymonde was an awesome girlfriend of the week, she literally shot Lupin himself earlier in the book before getting together with him, she’s a badass, and for her to just die like that -- and at the hands of Herlock Sholmès, of all people!!!! What the hell!!!!

813

Another favourite. Absolute banger of a book. You go into it thinking “who names a book ‘813′ lmao what even is that” and then it proceeds to rip out your heart and soul and eat them in front of you.

First of all, I had been hoping, wishing, praying that a girlfriend of the week would turn out to secretly be evil. And voilà! Here we have it! And it’s so good!

Seriously, Dolorès was already fairly good as a gf of the week, but when the reveal happens, ALONGSIDE LUPIN ACCIDENTALLY KILLING HER AT THE SAME TIME, god that really got me. That was INSANE.

This whole thing was tragic as hell, in fact. Lupin ending up leading to the deaths of three people when he usually prides himself on never committing murder, it really shatters his own sense of self-trust and it’s no wonder he tries to kill himself at the end. Like, he accidentally kills one and then desperately tries to save the others, in vain, and has no one to blame but himself.

Not only that, but his flaws are on full display in this novel, which, THANK GOD. Look I love him being the mastermind thief who’s a genius and always on top of everything ever, but this time we get to actually see through that to the man beneath the mask. It’s grittier, it’s darker. He isn’t perfect. He can’t control everything. And god, does he try because he is Arsène Lupin and he has to be that larger-than-life gentleman thief, everything has to go perfectly. But in this book things go wrong, it spirals out of control, he can’t handle it, he loses patience, he loses his mind. He can’t see that the villain is the woman he loves, who was right in front of him the whole time.

And then there’s that. You know. Geneviève. Hecking Geneviève.

This made me feral, I tell you. I picked up on the hints very early. I guessed it was coming. And it made that reveal at the end SO INSANELY GOOD.

The way he kept visiting, only wanting the best for her, trying to move around the threads of her life like a puppet on a string, and Victoire calls him out on it because -- he can’t do that! He keeps trying to control people, convincing himself it’s for their own good, but it all falls apart because he can’t accept the fact that not everyone wants what he wants! Sometimes it’s better to leave well alone!

And he learns this with Geneviève before it’s too late, thankfully, deciding to leave her be and not to interfere with her life, and even though he was going to tell her the truth he just can’t bring himself to because it’s such a selfish wish when she’ll be better off not knowing, not having her life ruined like that in a time period where there’s much more judgement on these things, and she’s already perfectly happy taking care of the children at her school, he sees how happy she is... and as he breaks down into tears, Victoire finally asks him, is Geneviève his daughter, and he says yes... god... that’s his fricking daughter...

I’d guessed it so early on and the final confirmation was just. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. That’s his DAUGHTER. And she’ll never even know. I’m going emo just remembering it. I literally cried over this. The Cagliostro revenge book wants what 813 has.

(Also, his friendship with Victoire is always so heartwarming. Well, I say “always”, but it’s angsty too, because she’d much rather live an honest life, but she loves Lupin too much to ever betray him or refuse to help him. The fact is, she’s like a mother to him. They’re family. And the way she actually did stick up for Geneviève so much when Lupin was trying to heck around with her life... did she guess it from early on too?)

There’s also that morbid, dark, macabre scene where this guy tries to hang himself... it was written so well, it wrecked me. The lead up to the moment, him falling unconscious, Lupin cutting him down and putting another dead body in its place, and then the guy wakes up and sees what he believes is his own corpse hanging there and he starts to believe he’s losing his mind or having an out-of-body experience as he’s dying, and Lupin using it to manipulate him into working for him, so he could control him like a puppet, the way he was trying to do with his own daughter too, and in the end the guy dies anyway, and Lupin almost kills himself too because he can’t bear the weight of everything his actions have led to... Do you understand just how feral this makes me??? This exquisite angst??? This shocking darkness????? I was NOT expecting anything like this from a Lupin novel and it was like being repeatedly stabbed in the most amazing way possible

In fact I’m skimming back over the hanging scene and my gOd it’s even more amazing than I remembered -- Lupin telling the guy he’s giving him one more chance and to choose between life and death, and he holds him at gunpoint, and the poor guy picks life!! He picks life!! His near-death experience traumatised him!!! But in order to live, to take the place of the corpse, he has to resemble him, so he must chop off his own finger, and he’s terrified but Lupin makes him do it!!! It’s insane!!! And even Lupin on the inside feels so disturbed at everything he’s had to witness this evening, everything he’s had to do!!! AaaaAaAaaaaAAAAAAAAA

Le Bouchon de cristal (The Crystal Stopper)

One more banger. This one was just amazing. (I call these three the trilogy of bangers, because they are. Well, angst bangers. There’s a trilogy of comedy bangers later.)

The pace in this one was more frantic. Or maybe that was because I read it so fast? A lot of it blurs together in my mind, I should probably reread it at some point...

But anyway: I love, love, LOVE in this one that for most of the book, Lupin is losing. He’s constantly being outsmarted by an extremely formidable foe and is scrambling to catch up. We’re used to Lupin being the one doing that to others -- and he’s used to it too! He hates feeling so powerless! It’s fantastic just how vulnerable we get to see him!

The plot of poor little Gilbert being falsely accused of murder, and desperately begging for his boss to save him before his execution, and Lupin doing his damndest to get this poor kid freed in whatever way he possibly can and being thwarted at every possible opportunity, it’s SO good. I love Gilbert so much. He has so much faith in his boss and Lupin does not want to let him down. (I also loved that Gilbert’s lawyer has so much faith in his innocence too to the point of crying over it and desperately trying to convince other people, I thought it was very sweet.) And the fact that he does manage to save him in the end makes me so happy.

The adventurey stuff with the villain Daubrecq was good too, if somewhat convoluted at points. He’s a genius, a creep, absolutely terrifying, absolutely brilliant, and constantly one step ahead. Every time you think Lupin’s got him, it turns out to be part of some overarching plan and he’s outwitted you once again. It’s so wild. It happens so often I was almost getting tired of it by the end, haha. But what an end!! The paper turning out to be hidden literally in his glass eye! It had been there the whole time! the madlad

Clarisse was pretty cool too. I like that she cared so much about her son, and I’m obsessed with how she just straight-up ditched Lupin at the end. Iconic. She’s so valid lmao I’m such a hoe for characters turning people down

No because a lot of the times, his GOTWs (girlfriends of the week, I cannot be bothered to write it out in full every time) will die at the end somehow, or turn out to be evil so he doesn’t like them anymore, or they’ll just never be mentioned ever again so they presumably split offscreen because Lupin has attachment issues or whatever. But Clarisse just wasn’t even into him? Or at least, she was, but there was never any chance she’d actually go for him, since she doesn’t like thieves, and Lupin just had to deal with it. Good for her! Honestly! And good on Lupin for going for a milf this time -- usually his GOTWs are hot single ladies but it’s nice to know that he’s into older women and mothers too I guess

And the contrast between Daubrecq and Lupin, who both like Clarisse but go about it in different ways -- Daubrecq blackmailing her into marrying him and trying to guilt trip her into kissing him by threatening her son, while Lupin just leaves her alone at the end because he clearly understands the meaning of the word no (at least in this book *cough*) and isn’t interested in getting with someone who isn’t interested back... good boy Lupin, good

Les Confidences d’Arsène Lupin (The Secrets of Arsène Lupin)

I... don’t remember this one. Like at all. I definitely read it, but...

Looking back at the chapter list I think it was just a bunch of mini-adventures like the first book, which is cute. I have very vague recollections of some of them and those recollections are pleasant. I’m sure I enjoyed it I just can’t remember lol, it clearly didn’t leave enough of an impression on me

L’Éclat d’obus (The Shell Shrapnel)

And now we reach the first of the “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” books. Like, this is clearly just an original work. It doesn’t have the same tone or style or even genre as the other Lupin stories. And there’s also the fact that LUPIN ISN’T IN IT. Oh sure, he’s offhandedly mentioned once, for all of about two paragraphs. But not only does he not even make a physical appearance, those few little paragraphs were added in a later edition of the book. The original just didn’t have him mentioned at all. Like, I cannot stress enough how much this is NOT a Lupin novel. Not in the slightest. They will tell you it is, but they are lying.

Buuuuut I still read it anyway, so here are my thoughts :D

I’m not a fan of gritty war novels, but that being said, I didn’t dislike it. I think it was well-written and the story and mystery were good, despite the fact that it’s clearly and obviously WW1 French propaganda with no effort whatsoever made to hide it. I also liked the characters and their motivations etc, though I think it would have been cooler if the girl’s mum really was bad after all, rather than it actually being a misunderstanding. Or whatever the plot was. I don’t remember it clearly enough now.

Diversity win! The evil war general that killed you father is genderfluid!

Okay lmao but seriously, I like that the villain was just this irredeemably evil girlboss. Like, good ol’ Dolorès was the villain in 813 but she was pretty conflicted and torn up about it and suffering from mental illness and clearly a sympathetic character. But this war general lady? A true evil girlboss and I stan. There’s no “oh but she’s a ~woman~ so she’s all ~weak~ and ~soft~” as was typical for the time period, they’re just like “nope she is straight-up evil and also terrifying and god she needs to be shot asap”. And then she gets shot. Brill.

(I mean, I’m not knowledgeable about the historical and social context of WW1-era Europe so this could have been a “look how scary and evil these German ladies are, not like our sweet and soft and feminine French ladies uwu” but I have no idea.)

Also, despite being a war novel, I like that it doesn’t glamourise it much and does show the brutality and horrors of trench warfare and how it ruins people’s lives, even people who you think of as “heroes”. Probably helps that it was written while the war was still going on.

Oh and the main couple were pretty cute. I don’t even remember their names now but yeah they were cute.

Le Triangle d’or (The Golden Triangle)

Another “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” novel, though at least Lupin does actually show up and do some stuff this time. Not much, but he’s there and mildly plot-relevant.

That being said... I did not enjoy this book. Sorry. I’m sure it was very good and a lot of people loved it, but not me.

The main character annoyed me. A lot. Idk man, I just didn’t like him. I also didn’t like his love interest -- she felt very flat and the two of them didn’t even have any chemistry. It was flatter than a piece of paper. I was hoping they’d both die tbh lol

The torture scene was raw as hell, I liked it. Wait, am I getting a different book mixed up with this one? I think there was a torture scene in an earlier book too but I can’t remember which one... Might’ve been Le Bouchon de cristal? Well whatever, all torture scenes in this series are good because I love it when characters suffer and are put in Situations

Also, I sort of liked the Sims-esque scene of the protagonists getting locked in a house where all the doors and windows are boarded up and they have to starve to death. I mean, I was totally rooting for them to die so that lessened the imapct somewhat and made it significantly funnier than it should have been, but still.

Also it has to be mentioned. This book was written in 1918 and it shows. For its time period it was probably considered quite acceptable, even forward, but by today’s standards... no, it’s definitely racist. It’s nice that Ya-Bon is clearly a good guy and friends with the protagonists (and close friends with Lupin in particular, who deeply trusts him, which was awesome) but uh, yeah. There’s still a lot that comes across today as racist and it makes for quite the uncomfortable read. But, y’know, baby steps, it was good for 1918, historical context and all that, it’s nice that today we can look back and acknowledge the racism in it while still acknowledging that for its day it was better than many of its contemporaries, etc.

L’Île aux trente cercueils (The Island of Thirty Coffins)

The third and thankfully last of the “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” trilogy.

This one was freaking DARK. And CREEPY. And DEPRESSING. I call it the “murder island” book for a reason. There’s something so sinister about thinking you’re going to get to meet your long-lost son but then the kid you think is your son just up and muders like 20+ people in front of you and wants to crucify you and there’s like a cult and... yeah, this one was a bit macabre. I liked it though

THE DOG WAS SO CUTE. I LOVE YOU TOUT-VA-BIEN. YOU’RE ADORABLE. BEST CHARACTER.

I also like that the protagonist is a woman this time. She’s not even some generic #Girlboss, she’s a middle-aged woman with a child and plenty of depth to her! In general, she’s awesome.

I didn’t really like the sort of... inevitability of inheritance sort of thing going on though? Like that if you’re a good person then your children will be good, and if you’re a bad person then your children will be bad... It happens quite a bit in these books and it really annoys me. You are not bound by what other people in your biological family have done, okay, you are YOU, end of. I think it would’ve been more interesting if her son really was evil, tbh. I did like the evil child though I think he was funny

Speaking of funny, the abrupt tone shift when Lupin shows up pretending to be the druid guy gave me so much whiplash. I cannot even begin to describe how much that “Ah ! la barbe !” line felt like a direct punch to the face. It took me OUT. And from then on it’s literally just slapstick comedy. Like, even Lupin himself acknowledges the wild tone change, it’s so bizarre. This is like, a good three quarters of the way into the book too. You’ve already read hundreds of pages of sheer angst by this point and then it hits you with the clownery. Unbelievable. Top tier comedy. Mad.

Les Dents du tigre (The Teeth of the Tiger)

Back to an actual Lupin novel where he’s the protagonist again, hallelujah! Though he’s not really stealing stuff in this one, which sucked, but it was still good. Actually, I remember this one being very weird -- like, the solution to the overarching mystery was just very odd and strange and I’m not sure it felt entirely earned. But still, I did enjoy it.

There was this one scene in particular that was absolutely mind-shattering, it blew me away. I start biting like a rabid animal. It was where Lupin was being hunted by the police so he hid in the walls of the building, but then couldn’t escape without being caught, and he slowly started starving to death and losing his mind and willpower and going delirious, and then when he realised the house was going to blow and that people were going to die, he desperately tried to find a way to escape so he could warn everyone and he called for help but nobody came and he eventually, half dead, managed to get his arm to reach the telephone and then despite literally being in the process of dying he managed to get the warning across, just about! And he succeeded!! Just in the nick of time!!! GOD that bit was too good

Les Huits Coups de l’horloge (The Eight Strikes of the Clock)

This one was interesting, being essentially several shorter stories but all connected to each other by an overarching story, which I really liked -- it’s like the perfect combination of buildup and drama of the longer novels, and the fast pace and fun of the short stories. Like episodes of a TV show. (Later on the Barnett book does it too, and I love that one so much...)

Hortense is one of the best GOTWs, and I think a lot of it is because she actually has chemistry with Lupin beyond just “she’s a pretty lady so he’s into her”? I mean, yes, there’s that too, but the two of them are genuine friends and she’s pretty much his partner-in-crime sidekick sort of person for the most part, which felt like a fresh dynamic, and I really liked their interactions. Sometimes these Lupin romances can get kinda stale but this one was actually good. They felt more like real people than the usual fantasy mushy romance. I know I don’t read these books for their realism, but still, my standards for fictional romance can get quite high...

La Comtesse de Cagliostro (The Countess of Cagliostro)

Oh. Ohoho. OhohoHOhoOhOhHOHoo.

This one is crunchy. I love it.

Usually I’m used to considering Lupin around my age or older but this book specifically takes place in the past, in the 1890s, where Raoul (shush I’m calling him that) is only 20 and god he’s sooooo adorable. Idiot swooning hormonal mess, bless him. I love him dearly. He’s so funny and stupid. Literally all his problems are caused by being a raging heterosexual (for now *cough cough Barnett book*). Silly little cute-pie.

On the name Raoul -- in the first book he used that name when talking about his very first heist when he was 6, and he’s used it multiple times since then, in multiple books. Whether or not it’s his birth name, it does feel like his “true” name to me. Arsène Lupin feels like more of a stage name or something, the larger-than-life gentleman thief, while Raoul is the man beneath that. I suppose it’s reminiscent of the difference between Flynn Rider and Eugene Fitzherbert, really. They’re both him, but in differring ways.

Anyway!! Raoul ghosts his gf to go after this other hot girl, Joséphine, and since she’s evil and doesn’t want him to get caught up in her evil life she tries to keep him away but even though he’s feeling conflicted about the fact that she’s a thief (and the fact that he dumped his old gf so suddenly, poor girl) he’s so horny he can’t stop simping for her and then she gives in and makes out with him and keeps him on her boat so she can snog him whenever she wants and it turns out she’s a yandere?? AND a girlboss who gaslights and gatekeeps??? It feels like a modern day fanfic and I mean that in the positive sense

Seriously, it’s so delicious, all the angst when Raoul realises the truth about Joséphine, who then tries to kill his ex or something since she’s a yandere and she’s super angry... It’s wild. This book is wild. There is so much weird love-hate. It’s glorious. I bet people wrote smut about it.

And then at the end, he gets back with his ex and marries her and they have a kid but then she dies and THE KID GETS KIDNAPPED BY JOSÉPHINE???? Even at the time I predicted half the plot of the later Cagliostro vengeance book almost immediately, guessing that she’d try and raise the kidnapped son to turn against his father or something sufficiently angsty like that, and I wasn’t exactly wrong. GOD.

La Demoiselle aux yeux verts (The Damsel with Green Eyes)

I... didn’t much care about this one, tbh. The GOTW didn’t feel like a real person, just a bunch of traits slapped together to make a hot lady love interest. Honestly I’m not really that into the books which are just mushy love stories where Lupin saves his damsel in distress a bunch of times. He’s supposed to be a thief! Let him steal!

Like seriously, I think he had more chemistry with the blue-eyed English woman at the start than with... god I don’t even remember her name. The love interest. He didn’t even KNOW her, and even when he thought she was a murderer he was fine with kissing her like 5 minutes later (tho um dude you should probably ASK HER FIRST, come on man)... Hello, did la Cagliostro teach you nothing???

Anyway the mystery was okay, there wasn’t much fun adventurey stuff, I didn’t care about the romance, worst GOTW. All in all a mid book.

That being said it did have this one epic scene -- you think all is lost and there’s this long buildup, this brilliant long buildup, and the guy opens the piece of paper and there’s the drop: “Marescal est une gourde.” (”Marescal is an idiot.”) Flawless. I laughed so hard. I love that scene. Lupin’s such a troll sometimes.

And also after the end how he continues to constantly troll Marescal with the “Un peu de feu ?” thing, it’s not only hilarious, but the fact that it’s implied he’s doing it for years afterwards, overlapping with other books like 813! So while all the angsty heckery of 813 is going on, at some point or another, he’s trolling Marescal in the background! Continuing to gaslight and torment him! Absolutely fab, I can’t get over it.

L’Agence Barnett et Cie (The Barnett & Co. Agency)

GOD TIER BOOK. GOD TIER. (Excuse me in advance, I’m gonna be a little unhinged for the next few books.)

Okay so this one is another one where they’re short stories, but completely connected to each other so you still get that overarching plot. Except this time? This time it’s super light-hearted, all the way through, and it’s perfect. I love this one to pieces. I’d say this one is the funniest.

Firstly it’s because Lupin (who’s going by the oddly English name “Jim Barnett” here lmao) is LARPing as a detective now and he is clearly having so much fun. Like he tells people his services are free, but after he’s solved the case he just steals from them. He literally just robs them. It’s so funny

The mysteries are pretty good too, and solved in an interesting manner. I always love hearing the Poirot-esque explanation at the end it’s awesome

But most of all this book is great because of BÉCHOUX MY BELOVED. Béchoux best character. Ganimard wants what Béchoux has. This is like a platonic, reversed, comedy version of the Cagliostro angst and I’m so here for it. Actually, did I say platonic? Make that ambiguously platonic. Lupin, former raging heterosexual, is entering his bi era and you know what, good for him. Good for him.

Okay but seriously, these two are besties, worsties, boyfriends, exes, married and divorced all at the same time. It’s like Looney Tunes. They keep breaking up because Béchoux, a policeman, keeps suspecting that his bestie Barnett is actually Arsène Lupin and is stealing from his clients, so he gets mad at him and stops talking to him, then later he’ll come crawling back every time because he needs his help solving a case again and Barnett’s all like “aww babe, I knew you couldn’t live without me <3″ oh my god it is so gay.

They even start tutoie-ing each other (using informal pronouns) because Béchoux did it once in a fit of anger and then Lupin started doing it as a proof that they’re super close (and probably to mess with him too, he loves doing that) and then Béchoux just... also does it too? Even though he claims to hate this guy and want to arrest him? But he continously doesn’t and instead carries on being his boytoy twink malewife friend and asking for his help all the time??? They’re in love your honour

(All that said, Lupin does go and fuck Béchoux’s ex-wife and it’s implied he did it mostly to annoy Béchoux. Like, that is very much a thing that canonically happens. Béchoux is livid. It’s bloody hilarious. Funniest thing to happen in any of the books hands down.)

On the formal vs informal pronouns thing in a bit more detail: basically in French, the informal you is “tu” but it can be used as “tu (derogatory)” or “tu (affectionate)”. Lupin frequently uses the former on his enemies when he’s fighting them, as a way to show his lack of respect for them, to insult them, to have power over them, etc, and they do it back. But he uses the latter with people he considers close -- Victoire, some of his love interests, sometimes his friends or subordinates. And in this book, Béchoux got mad at him and used tu (derogatory), but then Lupin starts doing it back but affectionate, and then Béchoux..?? also starts using tu (affectionate)???

I have no idea how translations into English (and other languages that don’t have the T-V distinction) conveyed that change in tone but in French it’s fricking awesome. Damn right they’re close and care about each other. It sticks even when they’re mad at each other and it’s the sweetest thing.

La Demeure mystérieuse (The Mysterious House)

I was so pleasantly overjoyed to see that Béchoux was back in this one, I’d genuinely thought he was just going to be a one-off but no! He’s here! And just as tsundere for Lupin as ever! A BOYFRIEND of the week, you could say! Or more like multiple weeks!

Okay but this book was pretty cool, the mystery was pretty cool, and a lot of this one was very very funny. The Van Houben guy was hilarious. The villain was interesting -- for a while I really didn’t know if he was going to be good or bad, because he did save Lupin’s life, and just... yeah it was pretty interesting, though I was mentally punching Lupin in the face like “Get! Your! Jealousy! Issues! Under! Control!”

I do like that Lupin ended up being close friends with Régine. It’s a nice change to see him care about a single and attractive lady without really being into her and genuinely enjoying her company in a completely platonic way. I wish it happened more!

I also love that his GOTW didn’t actually get with him at the end!! Yes she was into him but she said she wanted to remain friends instead, and he accepted that! And then they went on holiday together to hang out with each other and !!! That was so good!!!! So good!!!!!!! I’m such a hoe for that!!!!!!!

Alright but when I was reading the previous book and unexpectedly shipping Lupin and Béchoux to hell and back, I was thinking “well that’s because I’m reading it in the 21st century with a modern understanding and view of the text, the queer subtext surely can’t have been intentional at the time” but then I read this book and I’m like ah... okay no yeah this is just bi. “Il fait de vous ce qu’il veut... et de toutes les femmes d’ailleurs.” “Et de tous les hommes aussi.” That combined with him not ending up with either of the girls, and him and Béchoux getting even closer... well it certainly makes one think.

Also I can’t remember if it was this book or the next one so I’m just gonna put it here but at one point he called Béchoux “délicieux” (three guesses what that translates as) and like... I can’t be certain that he’s never described other guys like that before because I can’t remember, but he DOES frequently describe his girl love interests like that! Very frequently, even! With openly and unambiguously romantic connotations! I just... is this supposed to be read as flirting? Is this just me reading it in 2023, or did people in 1928 catch it too? Am I going mad??

La Barre-y-va (The “place-where-the-current-reaches”?? idk how to translate this one, it’s a place name so maybe I’ll just not bother)

It got gayer. I loved this book. Very fun. Good mystery. All that jazz. Now back to the queer stuff because oh boy.

First of all half the time Raoul (yes he’s back to Raoul again) is calling Béchoux by his first name, Théodore, instead, which is... really something. Also Béchoux just inexplicably had a key to his flat even though no one’s meant to know where Raoul lives. It’s never explained. Like Béchoux why do you even have that. And then he invites Raoul to stay with him on his holiday (oh my god they were roommates). Raoul also said he had constantly been thinking about him and compliments him profusely in a physical sense in a way that maybe sounded different in 1931 than it does today but it sure does seem different with a modern eye and they’re just. There’s a lot.

(There’s also this quick little “oh you’re totally like a brother to me”  that never came up again which made me laugh so hard. It’s like the Sailor Moon English dub cousins thing. Like lmao who is buying this. Nice try.)

Also at one point while Raoul’s dancing with joy he grabs Béchoux and puts his arm around his waist and spins him around and lifts him in the air. No I am not making this up. His GOTWs are literally watching and cheering them on. Oh yeah, Raoul has a polycule this time btw

In fact Béchoux gets a GOTW too this book! And Raoul interrupts them just as they’re about to kiss, if that didn’t make things obvious

And there’s more -- Béchoux’s GOTW turns out to be like mildly evil and also already married and Béchoux gets mad and leaves her, and in the meantime Raoul gets dumped by both his GOTWs because they don’t want to be in his polycule anymore, then Fate or Destiny or whatever makes him go to a certain place and he sees that Béchoux now has his own polycule with his mildly evil GOTW and her husband -- and Raoul is so pissed off he grabs Béchoux by the arm and drags him outside, all the while complaining like “how could you be going out with those criminal peasants when I’M right here and so much better than them?? I need to save you from yourself” (I’m not making this up I promise) and it’s super ridiculous and it’s like he doesn’t even know how to deal with his own emotions, so he just KIDNAPS BÉCHOUX and stuffs him in his car and drives off with him and Béchoux’s complaning that he doesn’t have any time off from work for this and Raoul says he’ll sort it out and that he’ll buy Béchoux new clothes and a toothbrush or something and IT’S SO WILD. HOW WAS THIS EVEN WRITTEN. IT’S NOT EVEN SUBTLE ANYMORE. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS. MON DIEU. THESE BITCHES GAY. TANT MIEUX POUR EUX. TANT MIEUX POUR EUX.

La Femme aux deux sourires (The Woman With Two Smiles)

*Megamind face* No Béchoux?

Sigh... my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Welp, anyways, moving on...

Raoul you fucker. No I’m serious -- he’s a fuckboy now and I hate it. (Not that he wasn’t already, a lil bit...) I can excuse stealing from people but I draw the line at kissing someone when they told you not to and clearly doesn’t like it and also lying to your harem of a million girlfriends.

Zero chemistry between him and his GOTW(s). In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s like anti-chemistry. I don’t even like her very much but I still think she deserves better. Raoul you should’ve just stuck with Princess Olga. She was right to dump you though and her husband yelling at you was hilarious

Also there’s some new policeman guy but it’s not the same... I just want him (Béchoux) back 😔...

That being said, the book did pick up later on and get better, and the plot twist was actually pretty cool. So was the meteorite thing. Was it a ridiculously ridiculous coincidence? Yes, but it doesn’t beat out the ridiculous balloon dropping a rope in the exact right place thing from one of the earlier books so it’s fine.

Also, these books are getting bolder as time goes on? I noticed more and more harsh language used, and very strong implications of sexual assault (previously I’d say the closest it came to that was Le Bouchon de cristal, which didn’t go quite that far). It’s not necessarily darker, because nothing can beat 813 in that regard, but it does feel “edgier”, especially coming directly after a trilogy of light-hearted adventures.

Oh!! And he totally does joke about being bi in this book so I will choose to believe it. When his GOTW mentions being jealous that he’s in love with someone else, he pretends she’s talking about his (male) sidekick first. And then later when he talks about how everyone keeps falling in love with him, he rattles off the names of a bunch of people including male characters and god why wasn’t Béchoux in this book dammit could you imagine--

Victor, de la Brigade mondaine (Victor, of the Vice Squad)

No thoughts. Head empty. Utterly gobsmacked. Flabbergasted. Speechless.

No but this one started off so slow, and it was so little about Lupin and I didn’t think much of Victor, it was all just a lot of convoluted and repetitive investigation and every side character is cheating on their spouse in a middling stale soap opera way so it didn’t exactly captivate me...

But then Victor starts playing 4D chess, and that’s where it gets good. And I thought, oh, I have to play 5D chess in order to see where this is going. Maybe even 6D chess. I have to consider all the possibilities. AND THEN. I GET COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED BY LUPIN PLAYING 10D CHESS. RIGHT AT THE END.

My god, I was so shook I couldn’t even speak for several minutes. I’m not even going to say the exact details because I don’t even want to spoil it. I have to reread this one at some point and see what it’ll feel like now, knowing what I know. I know the first half is boring af but that payoff... god, that payoff. A work of art.

Also, the name “Beamish” is so funny to me for some reason. Is that what French people think English surnames sound like? I mean, I don’t doubt that there is probably someone out there with that surname, and it certainly does sound English, but it also made me cackle like an idiot every time I read it. Like oh yeah that’s that English bloke, Beamish. BEAMISH. Why is it so funny to me

La Cagliostro se venge (The Countess of Cagliostro gets her revenge)

I liked this one. I thought it was going to shred my soul to ribbons but it actually ended up being surprisingly wholesome and nowhere near as angsty as I was expecting. Like, the beginning of the book even TELLS you it’s gonna get angsty, really building it up, ominous, like the opening to a horror movie, with all this “these poor happy characters have no idea of what they’re about to go through...” and then... Well, there’s death alright, but overall the book was just... fine. It wasn’t that dark lmao, no shocking angstfest

(And that’s not a bad thing! It was actually quite a pleasant surprise!)

Joséphine is dead in this one, which was sorta disappointing because I thought it would be fun (if very traumatic) for Raoul to see her again, but I do love that his reaction to finding out that she’s dead was “OH THANK GOD, I FRICKING HATED HER.” So iconic.

The thing about Félicien being his son... I do love that he swings between lowkey disliking him and suspecting him, and being proud of him in a “hell yeah that’s my boy!!” way, and he’s so awkward about being a dad and doesn’t even know if he’d be a good one, and in the end doesn’t even tell Félicien. It doesn’t have anywhere near the emotional impact or angst of Geneviève from 813 imo but it’s still pretty fun.

AND THEN THERE’S ROLANDE. She’s not a GOTW but she is one of the best Lupin girlies of all time. The fact that she managed to trick literally everyone, AND got her revenge on the bad guy without Lupin’s help or even knowledge, outsmarting him, masterminding the whole thing behind the scenes... She’s so cool. Rolande you’re so freaking cool. What an absolute ledge. Definitely one of the stand out parts of the book. I need to reread it at some point and focus specifically on her rather than being distracted by the Félicien stuff because WOW.

Les Milliards d’Arsène Lupin (The Billions of Arsène Lupin)

Oh my god I am trying so hard to recall what the actual plot of this book was because the only thing sticking in my brain is THE SCENE WHERE BÉCHOUX FOUGHT A TIGER. HE FOUGHT A FUCKING TIGER WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??? AM I DREAMING??? DID THIS HAPPEN??? BÉCHOUX LITERALLY FOUGHT A LITERAL TIGER???????????

Okay but Béchoux being back was such a lovely surprise. He was quickly mentioned as being Lupin’s enemy, to which Lupin was immediately like “no the frick he isn’t???” and then he actually shows up, and Lupin is calling him “policier de mon cœur” and “Béchoux de mon cœur” and hitting on him... I’m not making this up. He literally calls him that. Like canonically. In the text. Openly.

And Béchoux is trying to catch him again and still does help him but also betrays him and LUPIN SETS A TIGER LOOSE ON HIM. IT’S UNBELIEVABLE. MONSIEUR LEBLANC HOW DID YOU EVEN THINK OF THIS, I JUST WANNA TALK

OKAy tiger aside, Béchoux aside...

I liked Patricia, I thought she was a really cool GOTW and has a great investigative streak, which was nice, although it would have been nicer for her if she could get on with that investigation without getting sexually assaulted every five minutes. Like seriously, what was with the creeps in this book? Leave her alone!!

Also her son is adorable and very cool. I wanna be like “are ya winning son?” at him.

Also there was the mafia. Lupin fights the mafia.

I’m so sorry, I’m really trying to remember other things about this book but that tiger has my entire brain in its teeth right now. She’s the best character. She’s out here living her best life. Here you dropped this queen 👑

Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin (The Last Love of Arsène Lupin)

(Now I know this one is sort of “unfinished” considering Leblanc didn’t get to fully edit it before he died, and it does feel rough around the edges compared to the other novels, so I’ll take that into account when Judging™ it.)

This one was sooooooo cute! Lupin has made it his life’s goal to help give education and opportunities to underprivileged children and to promote world peace! He’s so wonderfully hopeful and idealistic in this one! He even adopts two children! I guess he finally feels able to be a father, something he didn’t really feel that he could do before with Geneviève or Félicien? At first he was hesitant, not wanting them to see him as their father, but by the end he’s so fond of them and protective over them, they really have become his children and he properly adopts them... Anyway that was all very soft and fluffy and cute.

The children in question, Joséphin and Marie-Thérèse, are the best part of the book. Hands down. They’re so cool, doing all this sneaky spy stuff to help Lupin (or rather the captain “Cocorico” which is such a cute name wtf) and their sibling dynamic is adorable and they’re very brave and smart and are clearly learning a lot on the job. I’m very proud of them and so is Lupin. What an iconic brother-sister duo.

I like Cora, I think she’s cool. Considering the setting of the book is the early 1920s you can already see the shifts in attitude towards the social mobility and freedom of women compared with earlier books, as well as a shift away from strict classism, and Cora feels somewhat more “modern” in that sense -- she wants to be friends with who she wants, she doesn’t care for what appears “proper” or “respectable” to high society.

That being said I had absolutely zero interest in her love story with Lupin. I’m so sorry but it was just so boring. Their love for each other could have been platonic and it wouldn’t change a single thing and would have fit a lot better, in my humble onion. Seriously, for a story literally called “Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin” I sure don’t care about said amour. Bro, you’ve already fallen in love a million times, this one is no different, she’ll be gone in a year or two just like the rest before her, she’s too young for you anyway, like who even cares at this point...

(Also, once again, can the GOTW go five hecking minutes without some creep trying to sexually assault her?? Like I know casual sexism is to be expected from books written so long ago but damn... I’m glad the kids got revenge on Carbett for her.)

It was fun to see the kids talking in more modern-sounding French and more slang, rather than the very Belle-Époque vibes the books usually have, that was pretty cool and really did cement the fact that time has passed and this truly is the LAST book.

The mystery wasn’t that great and the climax felt underwhelming, but tbh I’ll chalk that up to this manuscript being essentially a draft, since I’m sure it would’ve been more exciting and interesting had Leblanc had the time to rework it. All in all a nice end to the series though!

[hajihiko]

Hey guess what I finally finished!

[slavhew]

DO YA THINGKU

for a twitter trend of redrawing miku as album covers!! i wanted to do one of my favorite single from gorillaz. Cover-accurate ver + closeups:

this was definitely the biggest thing ive drawn this year!! and a good chunk of it on stream. thank you everyone who tuned in!! it was loads more fun to make in company :]

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Ok thoughts 👏thoughts👏Everyone gather around I have thoughts about this!

Episode 2 was clearly the Pomni episode. We got to see her character get a little more fleshed out and we also got a glimpse of what motivates her which is great.

With this tweet we have solid confirmation on who the upcoming episodes will center on (thanks for not making us guess, Goose) and this lineup is really interesting.

First fascinating thing is that Kinger and Zooble share a spotlight in ep 3. Why is that? Everyone else gets their own dedicated episodes so why are they unique in that regard? What connects them?

Well, I have one idea!

So we know since the pilot that Kinger has been the one to have lived in the Circus the longest out of all of them. We’re still not sure if he was in fact the 1st human to be trapped (maybe we’ll find out in the next episode) but he definitely has the most seniority, both in age and in length of entrapment.

We also know that Zooble was the most recent character to get stuck before Pomni (and considering their attitude, it may have even been quite a while beforehand) AND is the youngest character next to Jax (they even share the same age, which could be a coincidence but it feels too deliberate of a choice).

Which means ep 2 will simultaneously focus on the oldest and the youngest of the characters.

I’m actually curious as to what their dynamic will be because they haven’t really interacted much in the pilot (and like not at all in episode 2), if they end up interacting in ep 3 at all. But mostly I’m excited to see them more fleshed out with hopefully Pomni getting the chance to bond with them (either together or separately).

My guess is that the purpose for them to share focus on an episode is to get perspective from someone who’s been there the longest and has seen more people come and go than anyone else vs. someone who was just recently in Pomni’s shoes and had probably a much different first day experience (we know Zooble cared enough about Kaufmo to personally organize his funeral so they may have some…feelings about who’s essentially his replacement).

Ep3 is also supposedly Gooseworx’s most anticipated episode so I’m extra excited.

Next we have Gangle for episode 4. I honestly don’t have a lot to say about her or the significance in her episode placement outside of her being the closest in age to Pomni (being only a year older). The only hint we get about what her episode will possibly consist of will be on how reliant she is on her ComedyMask to feel happy, which will be very interesting and we might even get some confirmation on whether her avatar was programmed with that feature upon entering the Circus or if it was an add on of sorts by Caine to help keep her sane. A pretty shitty feature if it can’t last for very long but it does make for a nice metaphor about how fragile her facade is (girl is literally masking).

Actually I don’t think her and Pomni have actually exchanged words yet in the show. Wouldn’t it be funny if they don’t up until her episode. Like Pomni is so caught up in between whatever mess episode 3 has in store for Kinger and Zooble that the two of them never actually talk and it just keeps getting more awkward. Gangle wants to talk to her but is so self-conscious about her Tragedy self that she’ll only feel safe to have a conversation if she has her mask, but it just keeps breaking before she even gets the chance.

Again this is all just speculation, if they actually end up talking in episode 3 I’ll…make ship art of them.

Yeah

Anyway, episode 5. The one I’m personally waiting for because y’all should know what I’m about by now.

*Warning: Unhinged, borderline psychotic tangent incoming*

I swear to god if Pomni and Ragatha don’t have a fucking conversation before ep 5 I will launch myself into the sun. I’ll take anything, I just need them to get real for a second. I NEED to know the extent of this woman’s damage. It has to be explored, analyzed, and dissected and I will do so with gusto when the day comes. None of these characters will be safe from my scrutiny, but Ragatha oh ho ho, you have been living rent free in my head for too long, madame. You WILL pay your dues and I intend to collect in every episode until there is not corner of your unsound mind that I have not examined in great detail!

Ahem *Straightens tie* Ok back to business

So yeah, Ragatha.

It may be because we’ve only had 2 episodes but I can’t help but feel like we’re supposed to see Ragatha as a sort of deuteragonist since out of all of the supporting characters she’s so far been getting the most focus aside from Jax, and we’ll get to him in a minute (I promise that’s not just me being biased, or maybe it is, I don’t know, you tell me).

In just two episodes we’ve seen more of what makes her tick compared to anyone else. And of the main cast she’s been the ONLY one to make any kind of connection to the main character and have enough of a meaningful interaction with her to leave an impression.

But this is what really clinched her role as a deuteragonist for me, she’s so far been one of the few to have the narrative briefly shift to her perspective to give us significant character moments like these:

The show REALLY wants us to see just how NOT ok she is.

If she’s meant to be the heart of the group, her heart already can’t take much more damage. Her friendship (if you can call it that, it’s so painfully one sided right now) with Pomni clearly means a lot to her, so much so that her entire sense of self worth seems to be tied to it (and if you’ve been paying attention, she doesn’t have a lot of that as it is). It would be nice to see their connection gradually grow before her designated episode, where she might experience actual growth for herself.

And if episode 2 is any indication of how this show preserves friendships well…

Yeah, I don’t think she’s gonna make it.

In fact, I’m willing to bet actual money that she’s either gonna abstract in episode 5 or episode 6.

Which brings us to Jax’s episode! The other deuteragonist…tritagonist? He definitely shares some degree of significant narrative focus along with Pomni and Ragatha. He’s both an active antagonist force and one of the only characters to drive the plot forward every time he’s on screen (then there’s that weird thing where he keeps breaking the fourth wall).

He has so much significance in the story that Gooseworx gave him his own bullet point in her list of content warnings (this could also be a joke, but I mean it would be funny to see just how despicable they can make this character).

Gooseworx also described Jax and Pomni’s relationship in the show as “messy”. After episode 2, I don’t think she considers him as a candidate for any kind friendship like she did for the others, and who could blame her? In just two days the guy abandoned her to deal with an abstraction and chucked her out of a truck. He’s no one’s favorite person, and he relishes that. Bunnyboy definitely has some issues that Pomni would pick up on the more she’s forced to spend time with him. To the point where I can see her trying to eventually form some kind of bridge because, as her previously established character motivation implies, she’s not the kind of person to intentionally leave anyone high and dry. But unlike the rest of the crew, I don’t think Jax would be inclined to change for the better just because someone took pity on him. He seems like the kinda guy to dig his heels in and commit to his bad behavior out of spite.

And for his episode to come after Ragatha’s, why do I get the feeling the reason Gooseworx went so far as to preemptively apologize to bunnydoll shippers specifically is because he’s gonna cause something really really bad to happen to her (could be abstraction, could even be something much worse) that he would come to sorely regret.

And oh boy would that evoke some feelings in everyone!

I feel like if that is indeed the direction this show is going, the rest of the episodes will really be something.

I’m also certain Caine will get his own episode but right now he is very much an antagonist to these characters. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a villain, but he’s certainly not someone Pomni is keen on sympathizing with, at least not currently.

Thanks again @lilyclawthorne for helpfully providing me with the tweet so I can give some context for my ramblings of the week!

[anemovisionuser]

Turn off the lights and don't look at me

Lumine vers./Aether version

[shkika]

Saint. What will you do when you have ascended everything? When not even microbes cling to this world, there will be nothing to sustain yourself with and as a result you will be trapped in a cycle of waking up, dying to starvation and waking up again. The fate you have brought on yourself is worse than even the echoes.

He appreciates your concern nonetheless.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 26

PREVIOUS

Nicky can’t help but bounce his legs as they sit in the waiting room at the hospital. He’s had to leave the waiting room a couple times already because in Aaron’s effort to comfort him, and wow how far they’ve come he’s really raised Aaron to be such a thoughtful young man, the jackass has unknowingly made four more Miss Congeniality references.

This is a waiting room full of nervous families and Nicky is NOT about to be the guy who can’t stop laughing because Aaron mentioned World Peace in a snapback at Kevin.

Nicky is not going to be the one to explain FF’s jokes. He MAY already be planning a Miss Congeniality movie night. Neil, Aaron, and Kevin may not remember but ANDREW will and watching Andrew realize his friend was referencing an AMAZING movie when talking about how he took out one of the FBIs most wanted was all he wanted at the moment.

Another nurse comes in and calls out “Elias Smith?” But Wymack doesn’t get up from his seat still sipping his now lukewarm coffee. There’s been 14 different times she’s called for a ‘Smith’ family but Wymack hasn’t moved for any of them and different waiting families have gotten up to get updates and taken back to see their family members.

Maybe he wants to see Andrew’s face a little less than he wants to see FF’s right now. He has his flowers on a chair next to him and a get well soon card that he’d had Wymack also sign. He was waiting for Smith’s grandma to come to see if she wanted in on some card real estate

“Seriously, how many Smiths got stabbed yesterday?” Kevin marvels.

“At this point it’s at least 12.” Aaron remarks.

“I’m at 14 not including Smithy.” Nicky says.

“At least we’ll finally get to find out Smith’s first name.” Kevin crosses his arms and leans back heavily into the chair, “I’m hungry.” He whines.

“Yeah, at least there’s that.” Nicky agrees because not knowing FF’s name at this point made him feel like an incredibly BAD friend. Even mores than the fact that Nicky raised the man that stabbed FF last night. He turns his thoughts away from those thoughts, “You wouldn’t be hungry if you hadn’t bitched about the breakfast burritos I had us pick up.” Nicky argues.

“It was greasy! I’m already slipping on my diet after Thanksgiving and eating that pie.” Kevin argues back.

Nicky can’t help but think of Kevin as a pageant contestant in that moment.

Nicky looks heavenward for the strength not to laugh.

“Then go get something.” Aaron says from Nicky’s side, “There’s gotta be a cafeteria or something around here.” Aaron adds.

“I don’t want to go alone.” Kevin shoots back and Nicky can HEAR Aaron roll his eyes.

“Fine, whatever I need more coffee anyways. Let’s go find a cafeteria.” Aaron says getting up and Nicky looks at his cousin, “Text us if you get a room number.” He says.

“Will do.” Nicky agrees.

Then it was two.

It’s about five minutes before, “David Wymack?”

Nicky’s head shoots to Wymack and he sees the smug amusement on their coach’s face.

That motherfucker.

Nicky followed Wymack up to the doctor in question. “How’s he doing?” Wymack asks.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” The doctor says and Nicky feels his stomach sink into his toes.

***

Neil has NEVER been more relieved to be out of a car and that includes the ones Lola had him in (though that might be because being out of those cars meant he was closer to his death by way of Nathan).

Granny Smith had not spoken a word unprompted since they had climbed into the car. Granny Smith had the exact same expressionless face as her grandson did but it is only now that Neil realizes that there was always some hint of emotion on FF’s face. Neil wasn’t great at knowing exactly what those emotions were but they were there.

Granny Smith’s rage was pretty hard to miss.

“I think she knows.” Andrew had said with his hands white knuckled at 10 and 2.

“How could she?” Neil questions. “Smith’s phone fell in that toilet before he got stabbed.” He says but he can feel the anger and can feel it directed towards them.

She had seemed so nice with Paul!

Though Paul didn’t have anything to do with her grandson getting stabbed. Neil could understand how that might sour any niceness.

Neil and Andrew had pulled into the parking lot and it was only then that Granny Smith leaned forward and pointed towards the entrance.

Words weren’t really necessary then.

Before Neil could even try and trudge through offering to bring her bag to her the woman was out of the back of the Maserati and through the sliding doors of the hospital.

“Maybe…maybe she’s just like that? Smith likes to sit in silence too?” Neil tries but Andrew doesn’t say anything as he turns the Maserati into the parking lot to find a space.

They walked in only to find the receptionist looking confusedly at Granny Smith as the woman spoke in rapid Polish but was getting nowhere.

Neil watched as Andrew squared his shoulders and walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around she the fear and anger shown through in her expression. Neil could understand in a way. FF was her grandson and considering the fact that FF had likely gotten his interest in languages from learning Polish from her?

They’re probably close.

Neil is pretty sure that normal close family members worry like this.

Almost positive.

He may not have the best examples in his own life but he has watched enough television and enough movies to start to see what might be considered normal!

Really!

Anyways…

Andrew points towards the doors that would lead them towards the elevator that they could take up to the waiting room.

Neil watches as Granny Smith visibly struggles before nodding. Andrew holds out his hand and she stares at it before Andrew points at her bag.

She blinks, looking taken aback.

“I can carry it.” He offers.

It’s a few moments of looking between Andrew’s face and his hand before she hands over her bag.

Andrew puts it over his shoulder and the three of them silently made their way up. The elevator ride was slightly less excruciating than the car ride but only just.

They got off and saw Nicky, Wymack, and a Doctor.

“…so he may not wake up.” Neil hears and watches as Andrew’s shoulders go instantly tense and Neil feels his own heart jump into his throat.

Then Nicky laughs.

“Of course he’s sleepy!” Nicky throws his head back.

“Yes, he had a high level of cortisol, that’s the stress hormone, in his blood. He should wake up either late today or early tomorrow though.” The Doctor says.

“Oh thank GOD.” Nicky says with a relieved slump to his shoulders, “You really gotta work on how you start conversations like this Doc! I thought you were going to tell me Smithy died not that he’s just going to sleep like the dead for at least 18 more hours!” Nicky exclaims before his gaze slides off of the Doctor and onto their group. “Oh!” Nicky moves past the Doctor and stops in front of them. “You must be Smithy’s grandma!” He says and offers his hand like the sweet respectable young man that Nicky absolutely isn’t.

“Nicky, she doesn’t-“

“Ty musisz być Nicky! Jesteś taki przystojny, tak jak powiedział mój kurczaczek.” Granny Smith knocks his hand away and pinches his cheek. Nicky visibly melts at the warm tonę even if he doesn’t know what is being said to him.

“Oh!” Nicky says, “I hope I don’t butcher this, Dziękuję! Uwielbiałem Pani ciasto!” He says haltingly before pausing, “Nazywa go Pani swoim kurczakiem? Jakie to słodkie!” he says but this time his enthusiasm has the language come out more smoothly.

Granny Smith seems to light up even more. “Czyż nie?”

“Nicky, since when did you know Polish?” Andrew asks brows raised slightly in shock.

“What? You two aren’t the only ones who decided to learn a cute foreign language so you could have secret couple conversations.” Nicky huffs frowning at the two of them, “Erik’s company has an office in Poland, he thinks it might be fun to try living there for a while so we’ve been learning the last year and a half.” Nicky says, “Smithy’s been such a huge help on it too!” He adds.

Neil opens his mouth, thinks about it, and closes it.

That’s fair.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

EDIT: 6/8/23: Thanks @shirlai​ for fixing my janky Polish for Nicky!

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @fuckyeahjeanmoreau @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themundanemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing @bushbees  @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​ @lesbian-blackbeard​ @lesbiansupernatural​ @silvermasquerade​ @thepeachfuzz​ @minniemariex​ @kazoo-the-demjin​ @gaypomegranate​ @ji-nk-ies​ @neilimfinejosten​ @omgrubelangel​ @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice​ @percabethotplove​ @cozyrosykay​ @foxyatlas​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

Also if anyone fluent in Polish wants to correct me on any of the Polish wants to correct me / sends smoother Polish please do! I am just using Google Translate for GS.

Translations:

Ty musisz być Nicky! Jesteś taki przystojny, tak jak powiedział mój kurczaczek. = “You must be Nicky! You're so handsome, just like my chicken said.”

“Dziękuję! Uwielbiałem Pani ciasto!” = “Thank you! I loved your pie!”

“Nazywa go Pani swoim kurczakiem? Jakie to słodkie!” = “You call him your chicken? That’s so cute!”

“Czyż nie?” = “Isn’t it?”

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Gerudo Town (Dad Squad)

All leads had indicated that the Yiga hideout was in the desert, as it had been in the past. Abel shouldn't have been surprised, honestly.

The issue was that he didn't know exactly where the base was. But a group of warriors did.

Trust was nonexistent these days, in the years after the Calamity. Gerudo Town had managed to escape much of the damage, but it also was cut off from the rest of Hyrule as a result. The oasis was abandoned, only utilized by weary and lost travelers, but no Gerudo roamed the sands around it.

"So let's visit this town, then," Rusl commented after taking another swig out of his newly refilled water flask.

"We can't," Abel sighed, leaning against a rock and basking in the coolness of the shade. "The Gerudo is a matriarchal society. They don't let men inside their walls."

Rusl blinked. Blinked again. Bemused, he remarked, "Matriarchal doesn't mean sexist. Surely they'll let us in."

Abel bit the inside of his cheek. He'd made this explanation plenty of times to his men in the years past. "I don't think the Gerudo are necessarily sexist. They don't distrust or hate men. It's just their tradition - whatever the reason, only girls are born to Gerudo mothers. So they just... don't interact with men in their hometown. It's tradition at this point."

"Strange," Rusl muttered. "The Gerudo are... rare where I'm from, but their distrust was shared equally to all, no matter their sex. They just didn't like anyone who wasn't Gerudo."

Rusl's words reminded Abel that they had yet to address a rather glaring matter. Ever since they had raided the abandoned Yiga camp, Abel had been pondering the fact that the Hero of Hyrule who the Fierce Deity had been protecting was a different Hero from his son. The Hero of Time was a children's story, a tale of folklore so old that barely anything was known of it except that the Soul of the Hero had traveled across time to save multiple lands.

So little was known of the goddess' destined Hero that Abel had often questioned the validity of any of the stories. He'd had no reason to disbelieve them, but... there was little reason to believe them either.

At least until his boy had come to him holding that sword.

So if the Hero of Time was one of Links being pursued by the Yiga... that just led to so many questions. Firstly, how the hell had they managed to do this??

Secondly... what was Rusl's boy? A potential Hero who could turn into a wolf? Abel had never heard of Ordon, so perhaps this Link was different - not of the Soul of the Hero but a savior to his own land nonetheless?

And now, this talk of different Gerudo cultures. Not only were these Heroes real, they and their guardians were plucked from Hyrule's history and thrown here.

I wonder their opinions on the state of things, Abel thought bitterly. How utterly we failed to maintain what they'd fought for.

It was a good thing his son was in a coma. He knew Link wouldn't be able to stand the judgment from the other heroes, whether it was good or bad.

"Either way," Rusl said, rising and interrupting Abel's musings. "I'll scout ahead to see if we can figure anything out without talking to them."

"The desert is treacherous," Abel warned. "It's foolish to go alone."

"I've gone to plenty a dangerous place alone," Rusl reassured him with a smile. "I won't engage in anything foolish, don't worry. I'll be back before sunset. This is just reconnaissance."

Abel supposed another issue to ponder was how little Rusl spoke of his past when he was clearly more than a blacksmith who knew some sword skills, but now didn't seem the time to argue it. He'd seen the man hold his own in battle well enough. Sighing, he waved a dismissive hand, watching the Ordonian walk away.

Glancing back at the oasis, he saw Rusl converse with the Fierce Deity briefly before continuing. The deity stared at the water curiously.

Abel wandered over to him. "Is something wrong?"

"This heat is mildly draining," Fierce remarked, dipping a finger into the water.

"You're more than welcome to swim in it if that's what you're wondering," Abel said. "But people do use it as a water source as well, so I advise cleaning yourself first."

"It does seem ill advised to drink from water that people can swim in," Fierce noted, raising an eyebrow. "My greater concern is hydration."

Abel blinked. If he was worried about hydrating, then why didn't he just drink?

"How much water does one need?" Fierce asked. "I have noticed you're both drinking much more since our arrival. Is it a matter of body heat regulation?"

"Have you never been to the desert...?" Abel questioned in disbelief.

"I don't recall," Fierce answered mildly, voice growing quiet. "I believe once, in battle, I was utilized, but not long enough for it to be a great concern."

Ah. Right. The things this deity did and didn't seem to know... it made Abel have so many questions. First and foremost, how the hell he was still alive.

But secondly... utilized?

"Drink more," Abel advised. "The body loses more water through sweating, and we all sweat more in the heat. Even you are."

"I noticed that much," Fierce replied with a chuckle, as if he were entertained at being taught something so simple. He dipped the flask given to him by Rusl into the oasis and began to drink.

Abel sighed, squinting against the sunlight. Link would certainly need more water if he was being held here. Or, well, had been held here. It seemed silly to go to the desert when their lead had been near Akkala, but... all Abel knew was that the Yiga stronghold was here, and they had all woken at the other side of Hyrule. They'd not had any luck finding any hints of their boys the entire journey here, so they had nothing else to go off.

After several hours of silence (Abel wasn't a particularly talkative man, and despite the deity's curiosity, he usually wouldn't speak unless prompted), Abel recognized Rusl's wavy silhouette in the distance.

The brightly colored handkerchief he was using to wipe his face was new.

"Did you have any success?" Fierce asked.

"Not really," Rusl answered. "However, I did figure out a way that we could get in to learn more."

"Is there a secret passage into the town?" Abel asked, curious. He had always wondered. He had always respected things that were forbidden, but that hadn't meant he wouldn't imagine ways of getting around it.

"Not from what I can tell," Rusl said. "But, with my plan, you could walk through the front door."

Abel found himself both curious and skeptical. He crossed his arms. "Really?"

Rusl held out the colorful handkerchief to him. Slowly taking it, Abel recognized that it was not, in fact, a handkerchief.

"The way the Gerudo dress lends itself to disguise," Rusl explained with a mischievous smile.

Abel held the veil at arm's length as if it would attack him. "You want. To do. What."

"Well if they only let women in, we have to obtain information somehow." Rusl shrugged. "You're smaller in build than me, and your hair's all grown out."

If looks could kill, Abel would have cut Rusl into pieces. "Absolutely not."

"What is it?" Fierce asked.

"He's suggesting I dress like a Gerudo woman to get into the town," Abel hissed. "The answer is no."

Rusl furrowed his brow, clearly frustrated. "Put your pride aside, Abel. This is important."

"Do you really think something like that would actually work?!" Abel motioned angrily towards the deity. "We might as well let him stroll into town in such attire for all the good it would do us!"

The Fierce Deity plucked the veil out of Abel's grip. "Will this allow one to look like a Gerudo woman?"

"Not necessarily," Rusl answered. "The point is that it will hide that he's a man."

"The veil will, but the rest is fairly apparent," Abel snapped. "I'm missing a few key components, Rusl."

"Nothing we can't tweak a little," Rusl replied easily.

This was insane.

"What other attire did you bring?"

Abel turned to argue with the deity about the stupidity of this entire half-witted plan when he saw the mythical man trying to figure out how to put the veil on.

He can't be serious.

"Well," Rusl said slowly as he pulled out more clothes. "I did grab varying sizes. The Gerudo are far taller and broader than I expected, so their clothes might actually fit you better."

"Very well," Fierce said casually, finally settling the veil in the right place. He started stripping his armor without a care, and Abel thought he was going insane. Was this actually happening right now?! A war god was going to cross dress in whatever insane attire the Gerudo chose to wear and--

And--

You know what, to hell with it. Better him than me.

When the Fierce Deity had finished switching clothes, the other two stared at him. Rusl crossed his arms, examining the disguise carefully while Abel just felt his sanity continue to slip away. He wasn't sure he cared at this point. Perhaps he could at least find some entertainment from this?

No, no he couldn't. It was too stupid.

Count your blessings, he reminded himself. At least they actually believe you about the threat the Yiga present now. They believe you enough to even try this fool's errand.

The Fierce Deity, usually a foreboding sight in his pale blue tunic and silver armor, striking attention with the royal blue scarf tied around his waist, was instead adorned in fiery red, which emphasized the paleness of his exposed, muscular abdomen and shoulders. He wore loose, baggy pants and flat footed shoes, silver hair and eyes glittering against a red and gold veil.

"This is not going to work," Abel immediately commented. "He's too big."

Too big, too broad, too muscular. The women of Gerudo were strong enough to probably lift an entire guardian off its feet, but their muscles were still distinctly patterned differently. Women's shoulders were not so broad, nor chest and waist so box-like. Whether the Gerudo assumed he was one of theirs or Hylian, he would still look too masculine to play this part.

"They'll find out immediately," he continued, feeling his stomach churn at the thought that came next. Maybe I should do it... it would be more reasonable, but... no. This entire thing is idiotic. It'll never work.

Rusl, who had been foraging for something else in his bag, suddenly pulled out two hydromelons. "Here, put these in your top."

Fierce took the fruit without argument, and Abel stared, eyes widening. Well, Rusl was certainly committed.

"Giving him breasts isn't going to fix the obvious issue that he is a man," he argued.

"Of course it'll help," Rusl replied. "He just has to... well..."

Rusl paused, staring at the deity as he fumbled to stuff the fruit in his top without them falling out and splattering on the ground.

"Play the part," Abel finished for him flatly.

XXX

Well... it wasn't an immediate disaster.

Abel and Rusl hid behind a dune as they watched Fierce approach the guards, who exchanged... baffled looks from what Abel could tell.

"Hello, fellow women," the deity greeted.

Rusl choked back a cough.

"This is not going to work," Abel hissed, his own voice strained in a competition between secondhand embarrassment, horror, and losing it.

"Hey, it would've been better if you did it!" Rusl whisper back.

Over my dead body.

Surprisingly, the guards shuffled aside to allow him passage after a few confused glances.

Abel stared.

"Ha!" Rusl huffed in triumph. "I told you it would work."

"You didn't know it was going to work!" Abel accused, turning to glare at him.

Rusl ignored him. "Let's see if we can get closer. We can peek over the far wall a little bit."

Abel sighed heavily, dragging his feet through the sand as the pair practically crawled around the edge of the town before climbing the wall opposite of the entrance. Abel half wondered why they couldn't just enter that way, but he supposed in such a small area they were bound to be noticed.

The pair peered over.

It was immediately apparent which one was Fierce. He was simultaneously blending in and sticking out like a sore thumb. His silver hair caught the sunlight, and his towering, imposing figure managed to outshine the Gerudo. Every woman who passed paused and gave him a strange side eye, but no one outright said anything. For his part, Fierce was standing still, surveying the area.

Abel groaned, pounding his forehead against the wall. "He doesn't even know what to do."

Rusl bit his lip, slowly climbing the wall and kneeling in the water that bordered the edge of the town. Abel hesitantly followed. Fierce immediately noticed of them with his superior eyesight. Rusl made little gestures, wiggling his fingers and mouthing words even Abel couldn't understand.

"What are you doing?" he hissed. "He'll never know what you're trying to tell him!"

Fierce nodded, walking slowly around the town.

"He's doing quite well for his first espionage mission," Rusl commented with a chuckle.

Abel groaned. "You're insane."

"Oh, Abel, you should lighten up. There are many ways to achieve a goal, it's not all about the sword."

"I'm aware of that."

The deity finally started to talk to women, disappearing in and out of the men's sight. Abel sighed, rubbing his face as he felt it steadily burning. Between the bright rays and the reflection from the water, he'd rival a Hylian tomato by the end of the day.

"Hopefully he can get some legitimate leads," Rusl muttered. "The sooner we can find the boys, the better."

Abel wanted to face plant into the water with the heat as bad as it was. Instead, he splashed a little on his face. "Yes, well, you're forgetting something very important."

"What?"

"Our esteemed deity is a war god with no idea how mortals function. He's probably going to ask them how they braid their hair."

"Come now, don't disrespect him like that. He's not an idiot."

"I didn't say he was an idiot. On the contrary, he's very curious. That's the problem."

"He'll focus."

Abel hummed, immediately thinking of his wife, Tilieth. Rusl clearly wasn't used to the mischief an inquisitive mind could stir up. Not to mention the deity wasn't exactly subtle. He was certain the deity's concern for his own Link would drive him forward, but he was likely to get distracted as well.

Assuming he could even keep the act up.

"A voe has been spotted! Up there!!"

Abel and Rusl both jolted, eyes wide as they looked down to see guards running their way with spears in hand.

"Time to go!" Rusl said quickly as the pair leapt over the wall back into the sand and scurried away.

Hours later as the sun cast long shadows and brought a chill to the air around the oasis, Abel paced anxiously until he and Rusl both caught sight of their companion's return.

"What did you learn?" Rusl immediately asked.

Fierce pulled the veil and shirt off, clearly having grown uncomfortable in it, and headed for his armor. "Mating customs are strange."

Abel immediately burst into laughter, vindicated. He honestly hadn't expected anything else. The day was wasted, but he supposed he could get what entertainment was available from it. Even he hadn't expected that to be the first thing out of the deity's mouth.

Rusl frowned. "What...?"

"Did Uli, your wife, assert her dominance to you, or is that a Gerudo custom?"

Abel's amusement multiplied tenfold, and he wheezed as he doubled over. Rusl stared at the deity in horror.

"I seem to recall you both spoke of varying mating customs in that village, after all."

Rusl immediately face palmed. "This... those are not the details you were supposed to be investigating."

"Fear not," Fierce continued, slipping on his trousers and under tunic. "I also learned the location of the Yiga hideout. One of the women reported having seen two boys and a wolf as well."

Abel and Rusl snapped to attention, earlier amusement forgotten.

"The Gerudo claim that the hideout was set on fire," Fierce explained. "They investigated it and discovered our heroes. My little hero apparently did not let them near him or his companions, but they were all alive as of one week ago."

One week. A million things could happen in that span of time. Link could have died in that time.

"Does anyone know where they went?" he asked breathlessly.

"The guards tracked them for a few days until they left the desert."

"They left the desert a week ago?" Rusl repeated. "That... so we must have--"

The Ordonian let out a strangled, frustrated groan, turning away as he shook his head. Abel felt similarly. They'd just missed them.

He wondered if the encampment near Akkala had been a more recent lead, after all. Then again, it had taken them a week to get here.

"We need to leave," he said. "The coolness of the night will be good to travel through in the desert."

The other two didn't argue. Rusl was growing frustrated and concerned at how long it had been. Abel was panicking at his son's condition. The three set out within minutes, determination set on stony faces.

Hylia... I... haven't prayed lately, I know, but... please...

Protect him. Protect... protect them all.

[electricpurrs]

time and time again the only things that take me out of deep depressive states are having fun and spending time with people and yet everytime i get so shocked like wow! love and fun and laughter sure made me feel like life is worth it again. who would've thought

[devilsrecreation]

Croc siblings headcanons

(inspired by this post @pizacat72 made)

Kiburi and Ucheshi have never fought outside of sparring. Granted, they do bicker as I’ve mentioned before, but nothing physical

Much like the Royal Siblings hc, Ucheshi’s a morning croc. She’s the first one to wake up and always used to wake up Kiburi in the process. She’ll be in the middle of a musical number while Kiburi’s like “Ucheshi, it’s sunrise. Go back to sleep…”

When they were kids, Ucheshi was usually ALWAYS next to Kiburi, whether swimming in the lake or going on their little “adventures” (which she often tag along for despite Kiburi’s concern, he’s always been concerned for her safety)

As teenagers, one of them would hide under the water and splash the other with their tail when they’re not looking. You know how Kiburi attacked a young impala in “Let Sleeping Crocs Lie”? Yeah, that’s what they do. To other animals, it’s a warning. Between those two, it’s just for shits and giggles

Ucheshi’s one of the only animals Kiburi would let ride on his back. They used to do it all the time as kids. Kiburi would tease Ucheshi about her weight as they grew up, much to his sister’s unamusement

Kiburi tries his best to stay strong in front of his sister, as he promised his dad not to show any vulnerability since he’s the eldest. She isn’t stupid though and always knows when something is up. She just wishes he would talk to her

Kiburi and Ucheshi originally had more siblings, but such as the circle of life goes for young crocodiles (aka nature being a bitch), they didn’t live long for various reasons. The two were the only survivors. This is a big reason why Kiburi is so protective of Ucheshi. He’s lost his both his parents and his many siblings, he’s not losing another family member

Don’t think the feeling isn’t mutual, Ucheshi would jump in to defend her brother in a heartbeat (not counting the events during the Dry Season). Kiburi once told her how Scar insulted him (the “and here I thought crocs were the best fighters” line) and she swore she would have stood up for him if she were there. She absolutely tried protecting Kiburi from Hatari at some point

Kiburi’s promised Ucheshi she’d get “special privileges” when he rules the Pridelands. That’s what big brothers are for, after all. Ucheshi just thinks the Dry Season drove him crazy and calls him out on it

For as much as she annoys him, Ucheshi can always make Kiburi laugh. This especially happens when they rekindle their relationship. Makuu, Hodari, and Pua witnessed them talking and laughing together, to which Makuu said something along the lines of “Is Kiburi laughing or am I crazy?”

After Ucheshi declines Scar’s offer to join him and walks away, Scar orders the army to get rid of her: Trap her in a geyser, make her get lost in the Outlands, kill her, he doesn’t care. Kiburi insists on leading and being the one to do it….HOWEVER the minute he has her cornered, he turns to see if the other Outlanders are nearby before he leans close and lets her run away. He can’t do it. As mad as he is at her right now, he doesn’t have the heart to actually hurt his own flesh and blood. So he shows mercy and gives her the chance to leave the Outlands and never come back. They’ll kill her if she does and all he wants is for her to be safe. When Ucheshi asks why he’s doing this, he says “Scar told me to get rid of you, but he never said how”. She does so, but not before they smile at each other as a thank you

She decided to join the final battle against the Outlanders after a heart to heart with Pua. Kiburi was the last to back down and was about to go after Makuu again until Ucheshi jumped in between them. While she still didn’t want to hurt him, she was ready to if Kiburi didn’t back down. Kiburi then had to make a decision: surrender to Makuu for good or refuse to back down and fight his sister. Kiburi chose the former.

Dunno if I mentioned this in a previous post or not, but they do eventually reconcile in my “Trail to Udugu” idea. Kiburi apologized for everything, especially for all the things he did to hurt her. Ucheshi gladly (yet tearfully) accepted, saying “I forgive you, you big fish-for-brain!” and they hugged it out :)

Kiburi showed Ucheshi how to contact their father. She didn’t believe him at first but once she saw his spirit, she almost began crying. It was a very sweet moment

Kiburi enjoys seeing Ucheshi outsmart anybody who isn’t him hdhdhdh

Kiburi will never approve of Ucheshi and Makuu being together, but he’s learned to accept it cuz he wants her to be happy (although personally he’d prefer literally anyone else). Ucheshi, however, loves Hukumu and thinks she’s perfect for her brother

The two are unstoppable when they work together. Give them any task, they’ll always manage to get it done efficiently (despite their bickering lol)

[tribbles-the-lesbian]

For you ✨❤️pookie❤️✨another work in progressssss~

⬇️original sketch below⬇️

[brianamorganbooks]

Writeblr Introduction

Hello there! I've had an influx of followers recently, so it's time to introduce myself.

I'm Briana Morgan (she/her), a horror author, playwright, and game writer. If you're into the following, you'll like my work:

Body horror

Twisted games

Vampires

Killer mermaids

Ghosts

Demons

Monsters

The dark side of human nature

Psychological thrillers

I'm also queer and disabled, so representation is incredibly important to be. I try to imbue my work with authentic rep as much as possible.

On this blog, I talk about writing, books (mine and other people's), video games, and spooky shit. It's a little bit of everything. We have fun here.

This is a list of all my published works thus far, with links to purchase them:

The Reyes Incident

A Tricker-Treater Christmas: A Holiday Horror Story

Mouth Full of Ashes

The Tricker-Treater and Other Stories

"Eleven" (newsletter opt-in)

Unboxed: A Play

The Writer's Guide to Slaying Social

Livingston Girls

Reflections

Touch: A One-Act Play

Blood and Water

Phew! I also have a book called Tiger Cult coming out in the fall of next year:

Hmm... what else?

Oh! Social media. I'm trying to use Tumblr more often with Twitter imploding and all. Here's everywhere else you can find me:

Twitter

Instagram

TikTok

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[thrawns-backrest]

Vader and the Ghost Prison: thoughts and random analyses

Okay this is an itch I’ve been meaning to scratch for a WHILE now so thank you @random-user753 for giving me the final push to do it. I know this will have the tiniest of audiences but I don’t care because I love this series too much.

Anyway, here’s some of the stuff I loved about Ghost Prison in no particular order (spoilers ahead, beware):

Parallels! Boy does this book know how to do parallels. And foils. Starting with the most obvious one which is Vader and Tohm, you’d think a Vader comic would have more Vader in it but Ghost Prison does a great job of exploring Vader through other characters, especially Tohm and Trachta.

It’s rare to see Vader take someone under his wing (at least in the media I’ve seen) and it’s safe to say that Vader sees a part of himself in Tohm, if not in the more obvious scarring then in the way both of them were ‘betrayed’ by their respective communities.

The hologram scene gave us a lot in terms of narrative: it was a great peek into Anakin’s character and his crumbling relationship with the order (as well as putting into perspective just how efficient Anakin was during the Clone Wars, damn), it gave us an interesting perspective on the jedi in the form of Tohm’s pov but most importantly it set a thematic throughline that connected Tohm and Vader and gave us a better understanding of why Vader keeps this kid around.

Which makes it all the more satisfying when you realize that Tohm’s end is a forewarning for where Vader’s blind loyalty to Palpatine is leading him.

Aside from the parallels between these two, it was nice to see lingering parts of Anakin in Vader, knowing how early on he is in his transition. Part of him is still the jedi who yearns for an apprentice (which makes Tohm an odd choice but the comic was pretty adamant that this is the direction it was going, according to the blurb of part 5) but it’s clear that Palpatine’s teachings have twisted his idea of what it means to be a mentor beyond recognition.

And speaking of mentorship and foils this is a great place to talk about Trachta.

This book did a great job of fleshing out Trachta’s character, compared to his pretty flat first appearance in Empire. He’s portrayed as the better leader, starting with his attempts to connect with Tohm and ending with his galvanizing speech and advocating for the freed prisoners, to the point of coming into direct conflict with Vader. All of it neatly wrapped up by the fact that he replaces Gentis as Headmaster of the Academies.

Despite his more brutal scenes, Trachta is portrayed as a more honorable and ideological type, he knows the importance of loyalty and making allies. And the series manages to add a poetic irony to his story in Empire by supplying it with that context, making the point that guys like Trachta simply can't survive in Palpatine’s Empire.

Add to that the little winks the dialogue peppers throughout the story and it makes Trachta an all the more interesting character to follow.

(Also what was my man really doing alone with the Emperor? Do you have something to tell us sir? About a failed assassination attempt mayhaps?)

To finish off the section about parallels, we also get some cool visual ones like the dual pages of Trachta and Tohm’s backstories and little subtler moments like where Tohm stares at Gentis’ ruined face after Palpatine electrocutes him.

And now it's time I talk more about Tohm because I adore him. Making him the pov character of the story, and in particular making his report to Palpatine the story’s narration, was a masterstroke imo. Thanks to that you get all kinds of cool narrative layering when you compare his report with what’s actually happening.

Sometimes he words things in a way that would make him look good in front of Palpatine and sometimes his narrative sounds suspiciously like a lie or an excuse but the cool thing about Tohm is that you never know for sure.

It’s like there’s always an extra layer of ‘taking advantage of his situation’ that’s genuinely the case for him. Often times he will reevaluate and recontextualize the situation he’s in and maybe in some cases it’s to make him look better or cover up how he really felt but often times it’s just an example of the way he melds personal motives with some kind of tactical thinking.

And there’s of course the occasional comedic effect lol.

Moving on, another interesting subplot is seeing Tohm’s ruthlessness develop in real time. Starting with him finishing off Shens and the riot survivors and bringing the story full circle with Caul’s killing and his callousness when ordering the cadets’ executions.

It’s an ongoing process with glimpses of the person he’s leaving behind (defining the riot as just ‘violence’, his visceral reaction to carrying out Vader’s orders) and I feel like Cal’s murder was the perfect way to round it off.

Poetic in the sense that Tohm, who probably saw Gentis as a replacement father figure, was the only ‘son’ who wasn’t involved in Gentis’ plans so he took his revenge by killing the only biological son Gentis had left.

But the best part by far has to be watching him process and suffer through the betrayal that pushes him over the edge. We get that sweet sweet narrative layering effect where he twists the real reason he was left out of Gentis’ plans in his report. And it all hits harder upon a second reading when you notice the hints of a separation and inherent alienation between him and his friends, made worse by the line that confirms his loyalty to Gentis would have remained true if they had just ‘asked him yesterday’. Because all Tohm wanted was to be part of Gentis’ moffs.

It all culminates in a character who feels like he’s been led on and left out all the time. Having been disrespected and underestimated, he turns to a side that promises ‘fear and respect’ that will eventually end up killing him. It’s a great little gut punch of an arc that you can’t help but sympathize with.

And finally I’m really a sucker for this series’ attention to detail. Little things like Tohm’s loose sleeve being neatly clipped up by the end of the story. His comment about bombs being a coward’s weapon which makes sense when you learn of his backstory. The way he ‘grips’ his missing arm when he’s insecure about it. Huge kudos to Alessio and Blackman for adding those finishing touches.

As for the art, there’s really no words to describe how much I love Alessio’s work. I still want to cry because this is the only SW comic he’s illustrated fully besides a few odd covers. And that’s just damn tragic. The colors and atmosphere in this series are fantastic, full of pretty gradients with tiny pops of color and sprawling cinematic panels. Alessio’s realism is the best part of it, with familiar characters looking great and very much like their live action selves.

As one reviewer put it, it’s ‘dark without being tryhard edgy’ and I absolutely agree. Some of the environments and characters look downright gothic (with an occasional pinch of punk) and it’s the perfect touch of Star Wars weirdness that I crave in my media.

All in all, I strongly recommend this series. It's got a bit of everything: great character work, superb art and dialogue, a bit of politics, a well paced engaging plot and an interesting glimpse into the Empire's early days.

There's also the fact that all three of the main cast are characters with disabilities and it's all addressed in an an unobtrusive and realistic way and I'm here for it.

[fluffyheretic]

Day 7 of #Dinovember is CompSOGGYnathus. Reblog to give her a towel if you're not a heartless monster

[magnuficent76]

★○~ ! INTRO POST ! ~○★

{ ★ HOWDY ! Name's Magnus ! I'm an adult from Brazil and this is my art blog. I'm mainly an oc artist, but I occasionally make some fanart for games if it manages to make me insane enough. My main tag is #magoriginals , but there's more under the cut along with extras about me ! Hope you enjoy me bog :D here's some of me art ! ★ }

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☆ #Solar Years – Slice of life about an immortal vessel of the Sun God, Baltazar, and their ventures in the mortal plane as they explore the world around them, make some friends, and cope with the crippling existential fear that came free with their "mortality" !

☆ #Caede Tales – A Borderlands fan-story mainly following the Caede brothers —Jonah and Archer— two bandits from Pandora trying to make a living in the inhospitable lands.

☆ #Gaslighting Fires – The dramedy story of Eris Treacher, a wanted criminal woman from the 1980's who wants to make it to the top of the food chain in her city, all while throwing those who stand in her way to the ground.

☆ #HELLBREAKER – The Devil, bored of the mundanity in hell, proposes a game to the souls stuck in purgatory: If you can make it through all rings and defeat their respective sins, you get to ascend to a higher state of being. This particular cycle, a new arrival named Maria decides to try her luck in escaping.

☆ #Computing: Legacy – Follows William and Althea as they're living through a post-apocalyptic technological revolution, another brewing war between world powers for domination over the digitalscape, and the looming threat of mass extinction due to pollution. Also they're in university so they have to deal with all THAT shit too.

Other blogs of mine:

@magnuficentwo [Reblogging place, but also my main blog ! That's who's liking and following yer posts basically !]

[bylertruther]

the usage of tentacles in stranger things is so graphic lol like 🤨 i know what u are, bro(s)......