#phatburd

[armagnac-army]

Hey, Lannes, is this you? It has your name on it!

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PAINTING OF ME AS A VERY SMALL BABY FROM?!

[isthenapoleoncute]

My Napoleon is refusing a better diet. He wants chicken McNuggets every day. How do I get my Napoleon to eat his vegetables?

Rating: Not Cute!

Awww, poor Napoleon! He’s been lured by the siren song of American fast food chains!

To break the chains: Napoleons love to garden, especially when they’re in captivity. Give your Napoleon some land to play in, and give him some vegetables to plant. He’ll be so excited to eat the plants he grew! It’s an enrichment activity, your Napoleon will have fun, and he’ll get healthy. Triple win!

[gaal-dornick]

Aww happy birthday! 🎂🎁🎉🎊🎈 Hope it's a good one!

thank you! it's shaping up to be a nice one! ❤️❤️❤️

[isthenapoleoncute]

Rating: Cute!

These are great enrichment items for your Napoleons! Napoleons are naturally curious and they love playing with swords and hats. This is both safe, as they are unlikely to actually impale anyone should they escape your clutches, and a nice snacking option should they get the munchies!

Chocolate Napoleon!

Does Napoleon approve of this addition to his wardrobe, @isthenapoleoncute?

[josefavomjaaga]

Elie Baudus about Bessières' death

Another brief snippet from the "Études sur Napoléon" by Elie Baudus, one of Bessières' aides, about the last moments of his marshal.

[...] The affair began. The Duke of Elchingen having taken the village of Rippach, occupied by the enemy, the Duke of Istria hastened to reconnoitre the defile which our troops had just taken possession of in order to cross it with part of his cavalry. On arriving on the hill overlooking this village, as one leaves it by the road to Leipzig, he found himself facing a battery of artillery that the Prussians had just set up to enfilade the main road. The first cannonball that went off took the head of a marshal-des-logis of the Polish chevau-légers of the guard who, for several years, had been serving as the marshal's orderly. He was distressed by this loss and galloped away.

However, after examining the enemy's position for some time, he returned near this unfortunate corpse, accompanied by Captain Bourjolly, his mameluk Mirza and some officers, and said to them: "I want this young man buried. Besides, the emperor would be unhappy if he saw a non-commissioned officer of his guard killed there; for, if this post were retaken, it would be unfortunate if, at the sight of this uniform, our adversaries were persuaded that the guard had entered the field". A cannonball fired by the same battery killed him as he finished saying these words. The marshal put his telescope back in his pocket. His left hand, which held the reins, was shattered, his body pierced and his right elbow broken. His watch, although untouched, stopped on impact; it still marks the fatal hour of the marshal's death; it has never been wound since.

An act of charity towards one of his fellow men and the fulfilment of his duties towards his prince and his country, such were the sentiments that occupied the Marshal's last moments, just as they had nobly filled his soul during his life. We will always consider the warning he received from Providence about his impending death as a reward for all the good he did, before our very eyes, for the unfortunate victims of war; no doubt Providence wanted to grant him the immense benefit of having the time to prepare for death with a few religious thoughts.

[cadmusfly]

Let's Judge The Signatures Of Dead Frenchmen - Marshals of the Empire Edition

plus some bonuses at the bottom

This is a shitpost I've just wanted to do ever since I noticed Masséna's signature.

I know signatures are not meant to be legible, god knows mine isn't, but look at it, it's all the same letter!

I'm lazy so I'm only going to judge the ones on wikimedia and a few extra from letters, sorry to Marmont and others who did not get their signatures scanned and then made transparent for osme reason who is going to forge a dead frenchman's signature

Of course Bessières has a nice one:

Berthier is also pretty nice:

Loopy! Wait as has been pointed out to me, that could be an Alex. Did anyone ever call him Alex or Al

I love Lannes' because he circles his name!

A fancy guy like Murat's gotta have a fancy one, right?

Nice but not as loopy as Berthier's, honestly not the fanciest here

Davout has a nice legible one

Let's look at Soult's-

Woah, he's taking up a bit of space there! Where are you going with that t, champ?

Augereau is nice and straight I'm in awe as someone physicalyl incapable of writing in a straight line even on lined paper

Mortier is also really nice!

but also Ed Mortier. He called himself Ed. Do you think his friends also called him Ed or perhaps Eddie

MacDonald is Massena tier

can you guess who this next one is

hint: not french

Lefebvre's goin for the loop:

Jourdan is all classical:

Cant find Bernadotte pre-kinging but dude why is your kingograph so large who transcribed it like this

@phatburd linked me St Cyr's and

Very nice!

Victor lets see

I think I see a V in there. And a treble clef.

Oudinot:

I can kinda make it out!

But anyway I've been saving the best for last.

I have no words for this artistic masterpiece by Marshal Michel Ney.

Is that an umlaut or an emoticon? What are the two lines doing - error of transcription or part of the actual signature? Why do the loops just keep on going????

Is he just self conscious of how short his name is?????

Bonus!

Eugène de Beauharnais how's your-

he just didnt know when to stop.

Junot:

circle! pretty circle! napoleon did say he has pretty handwriting

Duroc:

Man he turned that c into an underline

This was fun! Next I'll rate all their coat of arms of something

[neylo]

I have announced this on my main @ofmiceandwomen, but my commissions are open so I can afford doing fun stuff such as handsewing the marshal uniform!

If you want to support me, check my ko-fi commission price list: https://ko-fi.com/ofmiceandwomen/commissions

I’m very grateful to @cadmusfly and @phatburd for the support. It means the world to me.

[joachimnapoleon]

Seeing the Memoirs of Mademoiselle Avrillion mentioned recently in an exchange between @josefavomjaaga and @phatburd, I figured I'd look through them for anything pertaining to the Murats. (I'm not convinced that she's the same person as Élisabeth de Vaudey though; Mlle Avrillion's memoirs are listed in the references sections of her Wiki page but there is nothing to indicate they are the same person that I've found; if either of you have since turned up anything to the contrary, please share.) Anyway, she had some interesting details and opinions on the two. I hope you all enjoy!

Excerpt:

The emperor often took the subject of his brother-in-law’s costumes for the text of his jokes; I have even heard him mock them seriously and with bitterness. Furthermore, I am authorized to believe that, deep down, the emperor did not like Prince Murat, and he spoke of him, in general, in an unobliging manner. His curly hair falling on his shoulders, which made him resemble a king of theatre, particularly displeased him; and if the emperor disdained to deal openly in such puerilities, it was not so in his moments of intimacy with the Empress, where nothing escaped his critical observations.

[sindirimba]

ty to @what-alchemy for tagging me in this little game: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite

this was pretty hard and i have terminal recency bias, but here we go

what a mix.

tagging: @gaal-dornick @nevermindirah @mongoose-bite @xenokattz @phatburd limiting tagging to just 5 was hard too. decisions are hard.

[vermutandherring]

Jean-Baptiste Bessières for @phatburd because I do read tags and comments to my posts, hehe (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ He looks a bit younger in Sims because ReShade softens little face details like wrinkles.

From the backstage to my Napoleon's Egypt expedition

No matter how much they couldn't stand each other in life, Sims makes everyone crack jokes.

Just a bit more of Jean Lannes

CC credits are in the mentioned post above. Bessières' hair is Keith Hair by @johnnysimmer

[your-dandy-king]

OOC Discussion and Feedback

Master List of Posts for the Campaign: Phantoms of the Opera

Thank you all so much for participating in this! This was my first time running something like this in a Tumblr format, and it was a learning experience. I hope it was just as interesting and fun for everyone else!

I know that this was the first RP for some folks, and I hope this was a good experience for you. Thank you so much!

I wasn't expecting to leave Murat in this state of mind at the end of this but things happen, and its not always under our control. I enjoyed seeing how everyone developed over the course of this RP and how that may have consequences for everyone down the line. Everyone had something to bring to the table, and I appreciate it greatly.

If you have any OOC questions, concerns, or would like to provide feedback for future campaigns done in this format, please add them to this post. It's something we can all learn from.

Tagging: @murillo-enthusiast, @armagnac-army, @askgeraudduroc, @carolinemurat, @the-adventures-of-lydia-brown, @trauma-and-truffles (I know Larrey wasn't in until the very end, but courtesy tagging you anyway).

- a.k.a. @phatburd

[armagnac-army]

You're tied again.

AND YOU DIDNT EVEN VOTE FOR ME YOU ASSHOLE

I’LL EAT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY TREE

[acanadianmuggle]

@sliebman10 - the last line I’ve written

Last Line Tag

“The ceiling in the Great Hall at Hogwarts was weeping.”

@phatburd @flagsfiend @itscometothis no pressure though a gentle push to share your own last line written.

[gaal-dornick]

Lilac, seafoam, and charcoal.

i love all of these 🥰

[phatburd]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Crowley Created the Stars (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Humanity (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Outer Space (Good Omens), Space Race, space travel, Guardian Angel Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Good Omens Countdown, GOmensEveryday Countdown Event (Good Omens) Summary:

"Crowley remembers making the stars. He wonders if they remember him, when he was someone else. The humans tell stories of them. Knit together tales of local heroes and borrowed villains to make a book that stretches across the sky. He listens to the songs and watches the craft they build."

Crowley, six thousand years of watching his stars, and the Golden Disc of Voyager One.

[josefavomjaaga]

Bessières masterpost

This is for @cafeguaba-blog and everybody else who happens to be interested in marshal Bessières: A list of posts in which I mentioned him, even if it's mostly only in connection with Eugène de Beauharnais. I tried to include answers, corrections and additions from more knowledgeable people than me, too.

Who was Eugène friends with?

Eugène and Bessières' death

Dining in advance (snippet from Eugène's memoirs)

Bessières at Wagram and Znaim (1809, Elie Baudus)

Parallel letters from Vienna 1809

General Bourjolly about Bessières

Bessières and the 600,000+ Franc question (reblog from @phatburd, about Bessières' mistress)

Bessières and Masséna at Fuentès de Onoro (1811, Elie Baudus)

Bessières' correspondence in the French National Archives (content list only)

Bessières' correspondence from the Russian campaign (snippets from a sales catalogue, letters from June 1812 to January 1813)

Elie Baudus about Bessières' death

And some mentions of Bessières in Marie Louise's travel journal from 1810 (aka the imperial disaster trip to Belgium and Holland):

Marie Louise on the road (3)

Marie Louise on the road (4)

Marie Louise on the road (8)

Marie Louise on the road (9)

Marie Louise on the road (11)

As this is an ongoing story, if you want to look up some context, here's the index for this series of posts: Marie Louise's travel journal)

Plus, not a posts by me but an interesting answer I received from wonderful @flowwochair - who knows much more about Bessières than I do - to a question I had asked:

Bessières and Murat