#pfft imagine XD

[lemedstudent2021]

some gems i found (turns out im occasionally funny)

will continue to update as i rake through the wonder that is my blog :)

[slashingdisneypasta]

F/O Question!

What class would you F/O be in on the Titanic? Would they survive?

And because I know most of us will make excuses for our F/O's to survive--

How do they survive?

[inkplotkey]

In the beginning of Monsters Inc. they show Sulley and Mike greeting everyone in the streets and to the way to work. I'd be so exhausted if I did that, like by the time I was in the locker room, my whole social battery of the day would have run out.

[benevolentgodloki]

The music still plays but the chatter stops. A glass inevitably drops from someone's hand. Not hard enough to shatter. No. That would be too clean. Instead it keeps rolling around in languid, grating circles for everyone to hear.

Loki's glass, however, remains pinched between his fingers where he sits, very much aware of how many eyes have fallen upon him. It's a chore to keep composure, reminded of the times the Warriors Three had ridiculed him, no doubt to get him back for the mayhem he caused himself. For a few seconds he plans a creative string of murders upon one singular person, then he channels that satisfaction into an easy smirk and gives his awaited answer.

"Any party interested in such intimate knowledge would probably do better discussing it with more discretion. I can tell you that people who attempt to embarrass me typically receive the same treatment as champagne

"When it's being used to launch ships."

@stxrlxrds @stxrksarc

[nicholas-wolfwood]

(^~^)っ (finn has to climb him like a tree first)

send ‘(^~^)っ’ for my muse’s reaction to yours patting their head.

Finn is no threat and knows how to give good head pats and scratches.... Yes, he's happy now.

[mad-hunts]

the silence that had ensued shortly after he spoke was surprisingly not as deafening as barton thought it was going to be. but that kind of made sense to him, considering that things seemed to be becoming a little more civil between them, slowly but surely. barton hadn't exactly been conniving towards jervis besides throwing the occasional insult towards him and being annoyed with his guilt; which, in his case, was progress. now he knew that jervis was upset because of other things (seemingly the fact that he had to endure feeling all of the physical sensations that marty and those around him in general did) but he was at a bit of a standstill regarding how exactly he should react to that.

the fact did remain that they weren't friends, and so jervis likely wouldn't welcome any sort of attempt barton made at comforting him. or at least... this is how he thought about it. at the blank stare he'd been given, barton's lips ever-so-subtly tugged downwards into a frown. he supposed that might've been a bit uncalled for, but there was no use in crying over split milk, right? so barton only ruminated over it for a second before silently watching ravi walk away after he told jervis, ❝ you're welcome. i know you guys have had a rough day, wherever you might've been — and desserts always make me feel better. ❞ his hands were tingling now and he suddenly felt this pressure on his heart. with a bit of dread, barton soon connected the dots based on his previous experiences with this and gauged that this was because he was feeling possessive. ravi was his friend first and yet he was acting like he'd known jervis for a while.

swinging his legs back and fourth slightly to let out all of the nervous energy in his body all of a sudden, barton took to withdrawing within his mind to try to solve this. it was sort of unreasonable for him to not want jervis to be friendly with ravi; this much he believed, as he was genuinely a nice guy and just because he talked to jervis, didn't mean that he was stealing ravi away from him or anything. barton still felt the need to distract himself from this feeling, however, by pressing one of his nails into his palms. and barton was relieved to find that the pain from digging it into his skin (as unhealthy as a coping mechanism as it actually was) helped him get over it, thankfully. barton's grin was all but gone the moment his possessiveness came into play but he had an inkling that jervis probably wouldn't miss it all that much.

he could see that jervis was tense. barton finished the last of his curry and waved at one of the chefs through the window they had into the lobby, before putting up a 'two' with his fingers to tell him that he wanted another plate. the chef nodded before he committed to listening to jervis talk about his experience with discrimination against him because of his synesthesia. barton had an unreadable look on his face that might've been something in between sympathy, as well as unamusement at what he was hearing the other kids had said to jervis, ❝ oh? well, they'll get theirs one day. nobody does something as screwed-up as accusing someone of faking a condition without receiving some bad karma for it later. and a word of advice: don't even think about the people who said those things anymore. just erase them from your mind, no matter how hard it may be. because the greatest revenge sometimes is forgetting entirely about the people who've insulted you and living your life to the fullest. ❞ he stated this plainly, though he shrugged at the end as if to say ' that's just how it is sometimes ' and barton tilted his head at jervis.

❝ and i get how that can suck, but people who avoid you simply because you're different aren't worth your time. so you honestly kind of dodged a bullet in a way because they revealed their true colors to you immediately; that they were all a bunch of prejudiced jerks. i've never treated anyone like trash because they were different, though, so you don't need to worry about me. i know a thing or two about it as kids can be cruel even if you haven't done a damn thing to them. i mean, after an incident happened where i accidentally made someone fall with the fact that i already behaved differently from everyone else added into it, things just went downhill from there. i'll just leave it at that, ❞ he didn't seem particularly upset about it, as barton kept his voice level throughout his talk, though this was because barton had convinced himself that he didn't care about it anymore. that might not have necessarily been fully true however.

barton blinked absently at the other a few times, ❝ it's fine, jervis. i don't even know why you're apologizing. i can imagine it, yeah, as people always have their own opinions about things like this. even foolish opinions. mm, well, it does theoretically make you more hard to read, ❞ he reaffirmed his opinion of the other before tapping one of his nails onto the counter, a gentle tap-tap-tap sound coming from it. ❝ that's true. ❞ barton kept his reply to jervis's next statement short and sweet, while he picked up the spoon inside of his falooda, only to stop. there was something going on with jervis again. he was gripping his bowl like a vice, then closing his eyes, and this led to barton letting out a barely audible but uncertain hum.

ahh, he guessed it wouldn't kill him to be nice to jervis once more, barton thought. he pushed his falooda over to him and desperately tried to ease the feeling of all the blood rushing to his head as barton wasn't sure what to say to justify the action. but all the same, he listened to jervis and nodded, admittedly a bit flustered as he couldn't look at him if he were to say what he had in mind. ❝ mhm. anyways, i might've noticed you eyeing my falooda and so i thought i'd let you try some of it if you wanted to. besides... ahh, icecream is a good pick-me-up, or whatever. ❞

oh, god. he was being a little too awkward about this. barton just hoped that jervis wouldn't reject his offer, because that'd probably make his face feel even hotter than it already was. he really wasn't good at comforting people, but he was trying, so there's that.

If you really think all that's plaguing me is a guilty conscience right now, you clearly haven't listened to a damn thing I've said. Or you simply don't care at the moment.

Jervis gave Barton a flat stare, absently pressing his hand in the same spot as the other man's injured ribcage. Gray spots danced briefly before his eyes, the corners of his vision turning foggy, before the aroma of the soup and its bright colors provided a welcome distraction. He swallowed thickly, unfurled the paper napkin with a snap of his wrist before taking up his spoon, managing a faint, but genuine smile of gratitude. "Thanks, Ravi... and dinnae fash."

As Barton lifted a forkful of curry to his lips, Jervis felt a surge of discomfort prickling at the edges of his consciousness. The scent of spices hung heavy in the air, mingling with the faint tang of sweat and blood and dirt that clung to Barton's clothes. With each bite Barton took, Jervis felt a phantom sensation creeping up his own throat, as if he could taste the greasy residue coating the inside of his mouth. His gaze flickered between the steaming broth and Barton's plate and the glass of strawberry falooda, the vibrant colors and rich aromas bleeding into his own senses. Why did something as simple as eating have to be so damn complicated? Suppressing a shudder as Barton clasped his hands with that stupid grin, feeling the echo of those too-sharp nails raking against his own knuckles.

"Nothing asshole-ish about it," Jervis muttered as he stirred the celery and carrots and watched them swim in the rich yellow broth, mingling with the expected rice, chicken, thyme, and pepper. "Frankly, when I was so routinely accosted by those arrogant, tactless berks in my old group home and the prospective foster families as a kid once they caught on to my condition, if it wasn't outright dismissed and I wasn't accused of fabricating it... Wanting to know if I got anything out of pornography; if I was a bloody psychic; if it was all the result of ruddy pixie dust; or they essentially avoided me like the plague because it just made them uncomfortable, like it was an insult to them..." -- and here he rolled his eyes at the recollections; old wounds, the calluses had long hardened, they no longer pained him as they once had, but God, that was too much weight for a child to bear -- "... I hope you'll forgive me for being a bit technical. Not that it's any business of mine to educate you, and I'm not making any presumptions. But it can be rather lonely, as you might imagine, dealing with something like this... though, I suppose I'll give you props. I've never heard it be described as making me 'unpredictable' before."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself, and focused on the taste of the soup on his tongue. It was comforting, familiar, its consistency strangely reminiscent of the fish chowders from his early childhood in Bermuda. For a moment, he allowed himself to savor the flavor, letting it wash over him like a wave of nostalgia. "And if I had to venture a guess, I think my guy might warrant more scrutiny. I can't imagine it's often the GCPD has seen pins or needles being used as a weapon..."

His gloved hands fidgeted nervously as he struggled to focus on his meal, clenching tighter around the ceramic bowl as if to ground himself in its warmth. Yellow broth. Primroses, the fasteners on Paddington Bear's mackintosh, daffodils in spring, the paint we chose for Alice's nursery... not vibrant... softer, more of a pale, buttery-yellow that didn't clash with the blue carpet... the flower-pot parasol in Sylvie’s mushroom garden... His train of thought and color associations was interrupted by the faint scents of apricots and lavender suddenly drifting in the air then, like wisps of smoke, and Jervis' heart skipped a beat. He raised his eyes from his food.

Behind Barton's right shoulder, casually swinging her denim-clad legs from where she sat perched on the countertop, Sylvie's image materialized before him; her pale features and luminous gray eyes so much like Alice's framed by her thick strands of chestnut hair. A faint, bemused smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, as if she could see right through him and knew exactly what he was feeling. "Five things," she mouthed, her words like a gentle caress against his skin. Jervis closed his eyes, allowing himself to be enveloped by her presence, if only for a fleeting moment.

Always good advice.

Five things he saw: the flickering lights in the bathroom, the patterned wallpaper in the main dining hall, the gleam of Barton's silverware, the cheerful colors of the restaurant decor, the gentle sway of the ceiling fan above.

Four things he could touch: the smooth surface of the soup bowl, the rough texture of the tablecloth beneath his fingertips, the comforting weight of his gloves against his skin, the subtle vibrations of the floor beneath his feet.

Three things he heard: the soft hum of the air conditioning, the distant rumble of traffic outside, the faint strains of conversation and laughter drifting from beyond the kitchen doors.

Two things he could smell: the heady aroma of spices wafting from Barton's plate, the tang of dishwater soap.

One thing he could taste: the subtle undertones of apples and lentils in his own soup.

A slight, bittersweet smile crept at his mouth, as he listened to Barton speak of Matilda, of her mother. "Yeah... that's the thing, isn't it? There's nothing quite so endearing -- or undoing -- as a daughter." Jervis had no idea if the statement was meant purely for Barton, or directed towards himself, but there was no way he could disguise the hue of genuine understanding, of recognition, that colored his tone.

... I think I see you a bit more clearly now.

[impyssadobsessions]

DpxDC Prompt: Danny Overshadows the Batmobile

... Danny while visiting Gotham saves Batman by possessing the batmobile- unfortunately he gets stuck.

Imma copy and paste my thoughts on how I would take this from discord LOL

Bruce knows there is something wrong with the batmobile and runs test to see if he got hack. But same time conflicted because whoever hacked his vehicle just saved his life.

Also can see Fenton driving skills put to use plus with Danny's ability to phase through. Definitely makes car chases easier if Bruce can jack the runaway vans from the inside.

But Danny freaking out- using the radio or gps to try and speak after he realizes he needs help to get out of the car… and that Batman wont be As upset as he thinks.

Oo meanwhile Fentons are all over Gotham looking for their missing son… having no idea Danny overshadowed a car.

Danny figuring out how to send tuck a message to send to jazz…ends up being tracked by the bats who go investigate thinking tuck's the hacker.

Tucker trying to cover for Danny

Ooo imagine if they try to chase down Fentons because of them driving crazy(and maybe they're attacking batmobile because they can detect a ghost) and its the only car Danny cant phase through and even getting damaged by.

So he tries to plead in the radio to batman.

And then Bruce wonders if it actually was the Fentons but things still dont make sense… until the team that investigating Tuck brings in more evidence and probably Tuck.

Then it clicks.. Danny isnt ai/bot used to hack the car but Danny Fenton the missing child.

Tuck still the key to figure out how Danny got stuck. Apparently a certain part is made from materials similar to the thermos.

But catch is they need tools from Fentons to get him out so they have to bait them and have Tuck and another bat probably Tim help gather the materials.

Maybe batman confronts them, raising his arms as Fentons accuse batman being a filthy ghost that stole their child. While the others steal what they need.

When it looks like the Fentons are not going to cooperate and blast batman (batman ready to go on offensive ) Danny uses a shield to send blasts back at his parents beeping for batman to get back in.

They go on another chase where Danny drives the batmobile off a cliff and into water only to safely fly them back to the cave. Exhausted and powering down as soon as they're on land letting Bruce take the wheel again.

When Tim n Tuck finally get Danny free they all jump for joy then quickly reminded Danny is still in the batcave. And like oh right shit… they know what i am >>'

But Danny already impressed the bats so i can see them offering to help Danny out further.

Tim n tuck become friends and soon Danny gets a support of heroes. He goes back to his family whose so happy to see him safe… Danny putting in a good word about batman but it falls on deaf ears.

Pfft be funny this is the catalyst to have Fentons moving to Gotham to hunt down batman.

Bruce investing in the Fentons just so he can work on their tech and modify them to not work on Danny- and then Danny haunting the car every now and them for old time sake.

Thought this was just fun idea XD

[justcallme-ange]

Oh god, imagining Techno finally meeting XD and he's either given some sort of shovel talk or like XD just embarrassing them both about how players create life more easily and need to be safe/"protected" (even though it doesn't work like that pfft) XD living the true Father Experience

I mean Exdee created life just by thinking real hard about it- and Dream is his son, so there is an actual concern. (Not really because as a player his powers have been greatly capped) He would give Techno the shovel talk if he wasn't so dang thankful that Techno exists. He's the reason that Dream survived in the Nether, and the reason they were able to reunite. So he owes him in a way. (and may favor him just a bit) Doesn't mean that Techno is completely in the clear. When they are all finally together on the DSMP any time that Techno was teasing Dream too much, or that dang table, Exdee was there to serve up some "karmic" justice lol. Das just what happens when your crush's dad happens to be a God.

[brokendreamscreation-moved]

The seraphim moves his hands over the cat's upturned belly, humming along to the pleasant jazz tune. Lucid's wings fluttered zealously, enjoying the moment. It's then that he gets an idea. Pulling a wing close, he finds one that's ready to shed and removes it. Twisting it between his fingers at the quill so that the blue feather spun, the angel smiled with content. Yes, this will do nicely!

"Pspsps hey~ Lookit what i got!" Waving the feather low enough for the cat's paws to reach, Lucid waited in anticipation if it might want to play.

The cat could feel itself melting into a puddle of goo from the angel’s sweet praises. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The cat is a ferocious monster, an agent of chaos- 

The cat’s leg shakes uncontrollably as it scratches the right area, purring loudly as it collapses on the floor with its belly facing upwards. Their eyes switch into dials while a radio switching station echoes through the space until it lands on soft jazz. This is ridiculous. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

[desultory-novice]

"There Will Be Blood Shed"

" '...Don't do it?' " " 'I want to live...?' "

"I wanted to live too."

"...Once..."

-

Soooooo, as you can imagine, I finally listened to "The Only Thing I Know For Real" from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and while apparently the character in question became something of a meme, for a first time listener, the song hit hard enough that before I knew it, I was sketching murder boy doing what he does best.

Like, not every line hits hard, but a significant number do.

"Memories broken" -Check

"The truth goes unspoken" -To Adeleine? Oooh yes

"I've even forgotten my naaaaaame" -Check and check

"I don't know the season or what is the reason I'm standing here holding my Blade" -I love the "don't know the season" part especially because on Shiver Star "summer" is what we would call "winter." Poor, mixed up kids

"A desolate place without any trace It's only the cold wind I feel" -That's Shiver Star in a nutshell

"It's me that I spite as I stand up and fight" -"Spite" in the sense that he's only hurting himself by doing this but also he regrets finding himself forced onto this path, yep...

"The only thing I know for real There will be blood shed" -See title

"The man in the mirror nods his head" -Reminds me of the Apologies title card I drew where Noir and Blade are reflected upon each other in the gleam of the sword.

"The only one left will ride upon the dragon's back" -....Okay, I have no witty comment here. Dragons are just a rock song thing! Oh! He did wear that dragon onesie when he was little??

"Because the mountains don't give back what they take." -Pfft! I'm sorry! I got curious and listened to "Wheelchair Sam" FIRST and thanks to that visual of him rolling down the mountain, I can't hear any of the "mountain" lines without laughing XD

"Losing my identity Wondering have I gone insane?" -Ahem! Back to serious and yeah. Though, Noir was usually too focused to stop and question what he was doing (...he couldn't dare...)

 "Looking downward from this deadly height Never realizing why I fight" -Ahh...this one hurts, thinking about all the nights he would sneak out of bed to hang out on the roofs and the number of times he peered over the edge (into the abyss...) Though Noir knows why he fights, he probably spent a lot of time wondering why he's alive

-

「やめろ？」 「まだ生きたい？」 オレも生きたかった… …かつて、な。

Sometimes I hear certain chunks of dialogue in Japanese in my head first and have to translate them into English to get down what I want them to say XD And I just really like the idea of Noir being "I might've sympathized, but I just don't have room for that anymore. I have too much to do before the end and you're standing in my way."

[animeomegas]

For Neji x alpha x itatchi...

You just gotta hope and pray that alpha can help meditate things when it comes to pups

Calm one down. Talk to the other to explain everything

And for sex like, Neji may not want to take a dominant role but it doesn't mean he can't like sit behind Itatchi with his head in his lap like idk comforting person?

Like alphas fucking Itatchi real food and Neji is just sitting there talking sweet to him, not dominant but submissive, kinda like a healthy middle?

But for Neji and his role play? He can be like me, start small and maybe try different things when he gets more confident and more comfortable, he could probably do it eventually, slow and steady with people who love and care for him.

Does make me wonder... In this AU, how would Neji's first heat go? Or just one of the early heats. Would Itatchi build him a nest full of all their things? Maybe do what I said earlier but in reverse? Him comforting Neji while the alpha jerks him off/eats him out? Maybe take the alphas place when they get tired?

Sorry that this is so long but it interests me so much 😭

Pfft, poor alpha with the pup mediation XD This is still where I think these two would struggle the most.

I guess the one thing I thought of is, if Itachi has pups straight away, which he wants, then Neji is too young for his own (in his opinion) and doesn't know about his infertility, so he'd probably take more cues from Itachi with pup rearing.

Maybe just maybe, this means Neji chills out a little when he has his own or Itachi has his second, because he's already seen a pup be successfully raised without 100% organic food lol.

Neji will need to chill out, because if he doesn't, him and Itachi won't get along. Itachi doesn't appreciate digs at his parenting style, and Neji... is petty.

...

I do really agree with you on Neji comforting Itachi though, I think that's sweet. When Itachi does go into subspace, Neji can stroke his hair and whisper naughty things. I like that!

Idk about the other way around though, because I think Itachi is one of those people that is deeply uncomfortable with roleplaying. He just... can't be anyone but himself because it makes him want to curl up into a ball and die lol.

...

As far as Neji's first heat... interesting.

Itachi isn't that good at building nests either, but he's better than Neji which is good, I guess. It becomes an awkward team effort between three people that aren't great at nests, but it gets done XD

I think Itachi would mother hen Neji when he's going through those first intensive painful heats. Alpha is on sex duty. Itachi is on cleaning, cooking, feeding, bathing and comforting duty.

He preps meals, helps hold Neji's head up when he needs to drink, wipes him down when he's sweating, constantly does laundry. I think Itachi has a nice comforting scent too. Neji's is the more mainstream attractive scent, but I think he likes Itachi's scent because it just smells... calm.

But if alpha was asleep and Neji was begging for some relief... Itachi would provide.

Can you imagine waking up and seeing Itachi eating out Neji right beside you?? I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven lmao.

And don't apologise for the length!! I'm loving this AU. Figuring out how it might work is so much fun!!! <3

[livelaughlovesubs]

LOL, Anon calling Fyodor a nun made me laugh so hard- XD. Pfft- damn, now I'm imagine nun! Fyodor being absolutely done with an atheist! Dazai who just comes to church to annoy the shit out of him (Okay yeah, men can't be nuns, but nun! Fedya hits different than monk! Fedya LMAO-). That drawing is forever imprinted in my mind btw, freaking awesome job!

Hahaha glad to see you liked the drawing, frame it and eat it.

Imagine:

Dazai: Fedya, why do you believe in god?

Nun!fyodor: dont call me fedya. I do because I do.

Dazai: have you seen him?

Nun!fyodor: you don’t need to see something with your own eyes to believe it.

Dazai: how, what do you mean?

Nun!fyodor: you believe every woman is beautiful even though you haven’t seen every woman.

Dazai: okay, you got me. But why are you a nun?

Nun!fyodor: …?? because I want to devote myself to god.

Dazai: yea, but why?

Nun!fyodor: Dazai, are you perhaps lacking braincells?

Dazai: no, I just wanna know why :(

Nun!fyodor: bc I want to do things the right way, to be closer to god?

Dazai: Are you actually closer to god?

Nun!fyodor: it feels that way yes.

Dazai: but is it really that way? Has he given you a sign? How do you know?

Nun!fyodor: bloody hell Dazai, please leave me alone.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Absolutely not at all related to the events of last night...

How do you think Baby Firefly would react to being called mommy? This is a very important question you see.

Mommy!Baby Firefly x Younger!Fem!Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Baby being a 'Mommy'.

Warnings: Mommy kink, mdlg, some nsfw themes, Baby pulling an Annie WIlkes and m a k i n g you rely on her, etc.

((After the ~ dot point is when it gets dark like that)).

Oh my goodness I think she would love it!! XDD The boys always get to be called Daddy, and she wanted a turn!!

And like I've said- she definitely takes the opportunity to treat her sweet S/O as her living doll XD Not necessarily in a kinky way (Though she is going to tease you if she knows you're into that~ ); she's just having fun pretending you rely on her~ You're Baby's lil baby girl, aren't you?

She feeds you and then gently dabs your face with a damp cloth to clean you up ('... there. All better! So pretty~ ^^'). She lays in bed beside you stroking your hair and telling you bedtimes stories- and no, you don't get a choice when bedtime is (Baby it 5.30- 'Shh! The wolf is about to blow down house made of goddamn sticks!'). She gets in the shower with you and washes your hair ('🎶Scrub scrub scrub🎶 Scrub-a-dub-dub 🎶'), and she loves it when your silly little head ends up in the gutter. She can always tell when her pretty little sweetheart is thinking dirty thoughts about Mommy~ And you know this woman plays it up XD

Mommy Baby is always the big spoon. She has to protect her sweet little lady and make her comfy!

Ehem, *cough*, pussy inspections. The more shy and nervous you are the more she likes it. She teases how red you get, and asks if you'll do mommy next?? 'We girls have to look out for eachother, huh? (; '

Baby l o v e s braiding your hair if its long enough!!! Like, she'll just be sitting behind you cross-legged, humming little songs and gently brushing out your hair before lovingly braiding it ^^

And- I wasn't sure whether to put this one in this section or the next (dark) section but- Baby gets SO PROTECTIVE of you. Like, if Otis so much as makes a joke about hurting you he might get cut.

~

I can absolutely see Baby pulling a Tiffany Valentine/Annie Wilkes!! and trying to make you actually rely completely on her. Whether that be by taking some limbs so you need her help wheeling you around or feeding you (Can you imagine her riding the back of your wheechair?? She'd have so much fun , going 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' and you're just there traumatised and sick), or drugging you so you're all cute and loopy ('Awwww, Y/N sweetheart, you look so sleepy!!~~ Come to mama~').

She makes a mess of you, so you need her. And she tries to isolate you, too. 'Who else is gonna care for you sweetness?? Otis?? You better stay by me, so that big meanie doesn't hurt you, k?' 'Mama?? No hon, Mama doesn't like you! I'm sorry- you thought she did?? Nooo, cutiepie, she's only nice to you because I love you!!~ ' 'Oh Cutter?? Pfft- baby doll, come on- Cutter doesnt like anyone. Least of al little old you!'

Baby absolutely threatens you if you try to get away from her, or defy or, or just say 'no' in any context towards her. Woman does not like it. She has been so nice to you and you dare to be fucken rude like that?? 'I'll beat your ass, honey, do you want that?? No I didn't fucken think so! Be-fucking-have!'

If you apologise and beg her she will forgive ^^ She loves it when you beg mommy ^^

[journey-to-the-attic]

Hi, in the Actor AU:

I just had to imagine Zhao getting dragged on screen again because they're either doing a sequel or an alternate universe episode. So he's just suddenly stuck with having to act as if he and Lucifer are slowly falling in love or there could be something (feelings) happening.

For example they're doing an It Takes Two special and Lucifer is a bit too interested in her father.

Or for maybe only a single episode after the end of JTTA when Lucifer and Lisa first meet.

IK just has to suffer through seeing people pine for her father on screen. XD (Or for the possible relationship to be implied.)

pfft the director's like "okay now look into each other's eyes for a little too long? longer. bit closer together this time. zhao we need you more vulnerable-- yess perfect. now let's get an angle of lucifer's face, jenny could you put a bit of a blush on him-" and ik's on the sidelines in abject distress going "no god this is awful why did i ever take this job"

satan makes an ig post like "just read the script for the next episode" and it's a selfie of him giving the camera a thumbs up with ik sitting with her head in her hands in the background

[wesxevans]

Everything happened all at once, and suddenly this stranger was crying and pulling him along with her down the hall. If this was real he had to get back to his apartment. Maybe it sounded silly, but his cat was in his apartment and he wasn't going to leave the poor thing. He had no idea if Rina was still in their apartment either, and he just couldn't leave without knowing either of them were safe. Besides, he'd left his phone in his apartment when he went to visit Evie and Jameson, so without it he had no real way of contacting anyone. "Wait, wait!" Wes gently tugged his hand back to himself and out of her grip. "I can't just leave yet!" He was breathless and shaken up a bit because he wasn't really sure what to do, and oh god, what if Liza was here? They were supposed to spend the night together, so what if she came early? What if she was in his apartment and he had no idea because he didn't have his phone on him. "I... I can't go with you."

Imani had just laid down for a nap when the alarm went off. Sitting up, she stared at her door for a minute. Determining that it was just a false alarm or a prank in her mind. No way would it actually catch fire. Laying back down on the couch, she covered her head with a pillow to try to drown out the sound. It wasn't until she heard tons of people seemingly running down the stairs that she realized this wasn't a prank.

Jumping up she wrapped herself in her blanket before going out her door. Connor. She figured he might be asleep too considering they both had backwards schedules. Imani ran up the stairs fighting her way through people "CONNOR" She yelled, hoping if he was already down the stairs he'd hear her. Banging on his door, she yelled furiously. "Connor get out of there!" Hearing someone else she squinted her eyes at him. "This is real baby, you gotta go... "

Imani felt involuntary tears roll down her cheeks as she kicked at his door, knowing she wasn't nearly big enough to knock it down. She just had to pray he was already out. "Let's go.." She ran to the stranger and grabbed his hand.

@wesxevans

[quitealotofsodapop]

Pfft I can just imagine Wukong and the groups' faces during this exchange like... form the groups perspective DBK saw this random pregnant person and tried to attack them, MK probably screaming "Monkey King!!" in worry when he sees the fist almost hitting his new friend/idol who he had jsut met and knows is in no condition to dodge the hit, the Bull King freezing right before hitting the person who's hood probably blew back from the sheer g force of the attack that was stopped revealing that yes, it was the Monkey King. And then DBK asks if he is with child.

Then there's this whole back forth like

DBK: ARE YOU WITH CHILD!?

Wukong, sweating: What!? No... no I'm just... letting myself go?

MK: He is totally pregnant! Like... mega pregnant! That's why he chose me as a successor! Because he can't risk fighting in his condition!

Wukong: Kid... shut up!

But by then, everyone knows what's up and there's no use trying to hide Wukong's condition

referencing this alternate way DBK finds out about the Slow boiled egg.

DBK feels a frying pan tossed at his head at the speed of a cannonball. Turns and sees a pig demon on the ground, furiously yelling up at him.

Pigsy: "HEY! You leave that bystander alone! It's bad enough you and your family nearly killed my son!" DBK: "Son?? Wait... the pig [Zhu Bajie]???" MK, starry-eyed: "Son!?" Pigsy: "YEAH! The one kid powerful enough to beat your bull ass to kingdom come! We came into this fight thinking your wife killed him by tossing him into the lava around Flower Fruit Mountain!" DBK, concerned: "Wife!?" PIF, shrugs: "All fair in love and war my dear. Plus with your younger brother's strength, I knew he'd survive." DBK: *disappointed brow-raise* PIF, guiltly: "And I may have forgotten how... non-fireproof mortal children are after raising our son for so long." Wukong: "We all make mistakes." Red Son, beaten silly by Mei: "Noodle boy's father is a pig?"

I just realised that the Bull family probably were a little freaked out to see what appeared to be a redsign of Wukong's pilgrim squad barrelling at them in a noodle van. XD