#pfffthahaha

[dorianbrightmusic]

jonno. jonno. i'm 5'1. not 5'8. oh my god i am most certainly not 5'8

my secret agenda is getting my mutuals to to reblog and tell me how tall they think i am, and everyone is motivated by continuing a chain muahahahaha

[strikelip]

What would your blood taste like to a vampire?

cherry cough syrup

your blood tastes like cherry cough syrup. prominent flavors: sickly sweet, medicinal, and maraschino.

[angelxxreaper]

Chat is always right

Nah. Phil’s always right

[starlightrosa]

I loved your Spa day with Lucifer,what if you did a follow-up,giving Alastor a hooficure where they learn Al's hooves are hyper ticklish?~

A King's Revenge

A follow up to this fic!

Summary: Lucifer decides to get a bit of payback on Alastor, since the bellhop so rudely tickled his wings previously. And Lucifer learns what really makes the Radio Demon smile.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Ahh, thank you! I love Spa Days in Hell too! But YESSS, Radio Demon boutta get destroyed by cheeky old Lucifer. Ohh, I love it, nonnie! Anything to wreck evil Bambi >:D

Warnings: Alastor doesn't have feet, he have hooves. So uh... hoof tickles, for sure. Lucifer being teasy, the odd swear word or two. (The hoof tickles themselves are obviously all SFW)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pentagram sun rose quite happily in the crimson sky once more, signalling the start of a new day in Hell. The patrons all had their things to do today. Angel Dust was out on another shoot for Valentino. Husk was polishing glasses on his bar, while not-so-subtly nursing a bottle of whiskey alongside that task. A bit riskier of a play, but hey, Husk was a gambler for a reason. Niffty was busy swatting at flies. Charlie and Vaggie were poring over management plans, in a marketing bid. And Alastor was Satan-knows-where.

Lucifer came down the steps, yawning as he stretched out his wings. Lucifer was still getting used to showing his wings around these patrons. The last time he had done so, well.. it ended with his mischievous daughter and her bellhop tickling each wing until Lucifer was a babbling mess, in an effort to groom his wings.

Lucifer shivered a bit at the mere memory of that. He chuckled, having been refreshed after a night’s sleep with his newly preened wings. He supposed Charlie would have found out just how ticklish his wings were anyway, but the fact that Alastor had found out alongside her was a bit more jarring.

But Lucifer wasn’t one to be put down so easily. He had noticed Alastor’s unique self-care routine, or lack thereof. Alastor didn’t smell per se, but there was a hint of unwelcomed musk about him. Like a mix of dirt and cooked human flesh. Made sense, given Alastor did make a fair few visits to Cannibal Colony, where his dear friend Rosie lived. His breath, however… phew, that was a whole other can of worms.

Lucifer sat reading his latest novel, the golden title of ‘The Ugly Duckling’ embossed on the book as he pondered this in his head. Alastor didn’t really bother to take care of himself hygiene-wise, but he made sure his suit was immaculately pressed and washed. What kind of sense did that make?

And then there was a knock on the door, jolting the king out of his thoughts. “Come in!” he called, setting his book aside as he awaited his visitor.

To his delight, his daughter Charlie walked on in. “Hey Dad!” she greeted. Lucifer smiled.

“Ahh, there’s my little apple! How has the marketing been going, Char-Char?” Lucifer chirped, oddly chipper as his wings rose up, fluttering softly.

“Yeah, it’s been going well. I see your wings look a lot better.” she chuckled, a hint of a teasing tone in her voice. Lucifer chuckled and crossed his legs for a moment.

“Indeed they are. Right after you and the bellhop had your ways with me, like the cheeky things you are.” Lucifer growled playfully, pulling Charlie into his arms and using his wings to softly brush up against her sides. “But you should know not to mess with the Tickle Monster, Char-Char.” he added, smirking evilly.

“Pfffthahaha! Dahahahad, nohohohoho!” Charlie giggled, squirming in his arms. Lucifer chuckled and ruffled his feathers a little more against his daughter’s sides.

“Tickle tickle, little apple~” Lucifer cooed softly, enjoying the giggle fit he was happily pulling out of Charlie. No matter what age she was, she was his little girl. His pride and joy.

“DAHAHAHAD PLEHEHEHEASE!” Charlie shrieked, her eyes bright with mirth. The sight warmed Lucifer’s heart as he chuckled and let her stand back up, allowing Charlie to adjust her suit again to keep it nice and unruffled. Seems the bellhop’s mannerisms were starting to rub off on her for a little.

“Charlie, can I ask you something?” Lucifer asked, seeing his daughter adjust her suit. Charlie nodded once she had gotten her suit all back in order.

“Sure, Dad. What’s on your mind?” asked the princess.

“It concerns your business partner, Alastor. I am a little concerned about his hygiene. I mean, you’ll forgive me for saying so, but he does not smell very pleasant some days. Is there any way we could rectify that, little apple?” Lucifer asked, putting on a rather convincing show, as if he was truly concerned.

Charlie hummed, one hand resting delicately upon her cheek as she pondered. “Well, I’ve tried talking to him about it. But he just doesn’t seem to go for it. Vaggie and I are kind of at our wits end with him in regards to that.”

“Perhaps a spa day may benefit him.” Lucifer offered, trying to keep his tone neutral, offering his wings up as proof. The six wings of the fallen seraphim glimmered softly. Charlie gasped and nodded, a familiar shine in her eyes that warmed Lucifer’s heart.

“Oh yes! Dad, you’re a genius! I’ll go ask him!” Charlie said, making to run off, but Lucifer caught her arm.

“Ah, ah. Little apple, I know your enthusiasm knows no bounds. Leave this to me, hmm? Why don’t you and your girlfriend have the day off, and I will present the idea to him. I mean, he can’t exactly refuse his king, now can he?” Lucifer chuckled.

Charlie giggled. “I’m sure Alastor won’t have a problem with this. Call me if things get bad, okay?”

“Of course, little apple. You go spend time with your beloved.” Lucifer urged, making playful shoo motions to Charlie. Once the princess had disappeared, Lucifer’s soft smile changed into a cheeky grin as he set off to go find Alastor. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Alastor was relaxing on the balcony, sipping his black coffee from his mug, adequately titled as “Oh Deer.” Befitting for a deer demon. Lucifer walked out onto the balcony. “Afternoon, bellhop.”

Alastor’s ears flattened slightly, as his eyes narrowed. “Hello.” he hissed back, his tone bordering on the edge of fake politeness. The mere mention of Lucifer’s name brought a sense of ire around Alastor. Seeing him just made that ire worse.

Lucifer tutted, leaning playfully on the railing of the balcony. “Now, now. No need to look so defensive. Charlie tells me you’ve been working rather hard, and she wants to make sure you relax.” Lucifer quickly made up. The lie came easily. Lucifer knew Alastor would be more inclined to believe him if the king composed a lie that involved Charlie in some way.

Alastor raised a brow. He didn’t recall any time that Charlie said that, but Lucifer was still leagues above him in terms of power. Lucifer was the KING, for Christ’s sake. He held his microphone close to his chest. “She said that? Truly?”

“Indeed so. Not only that, but you seem quite overworked. I mean, you are on your feet constantly from what I have seen here during my visit. Surely you should want to put your feet up once in a while.” Lucifer continued on. He was selling a convincing act. He just hoped Alastor fell for it.

“My feet are up right now.” Alastor said, taking a long sip of coffee to prove his point, the ‘Oh Deer’ logo prominent.

Lucifer sighed and kept his smile. “Don’t make me make it an order from your king, bellhop. Do we have an agreement that you’ll come take the day to relax?”

Now it was Alastor’s turn to sigh, looking away as his ears flattened yet again before they pinned back up, his eternal smile etched stubbornly onto his face.

“If Charlie wishes me to, then I suppose I’ve no choice.” the deer demon sighed, getting to his feet. Lucifer had a hard time keeping his smile from turning wicked. He had Alastor right where he wanted him. Thankfully Charlie had told Lucifer about the new hotel’s building plan, so he knew there was a spa on the east wing at the first floor. And it was there that he led Alastor.

“Have you ever had a spa day, bellhop?” Lucifer asked. Alastor scoffed.

“I’d rather you said my name. I am not some measly bellhop.”

“Al, right?” Lucifer asked. He didn’t want to give Alastor the satisfaction of following his request entirely. That could make Alastor think that the literal king of Hell was easy to be manipulated. He wasn’t going to fall for that shit.

“Close enough.” Alastor murmured, as the two stepped into the spa. Lucifer led Alastor to one of the massage chairs.

“So, Al. You’re on your feet all fucking day, and I’ve seen that. I don’t know how your feet haven’t fallen off yet. But I have expertise in massages, I did it all the time for my wife. May I?” Lucifer asked, keeping polite as he gestured to Alastor’s shoes. The fact that Alastor seemingly hadn’t caught on was pretty shocking. Maybe the so-called Radio Demon finally had his guard down enough.

Alastor sighed, his ears flattening. But he knew he could not refuse the king of Hell. Not if he wanted to survive. So he reluctantly tugged off his dress shoes. When they fell away, Lucifer looked down, but to Lucifer’s slight surprise, Alastor didn’t have human feet. From his shins downward, he had dark deer legs, ending with a pair of red hooves.

No matter. Lucifer had some revenge to get. He gently settled Alastor’s feet in his lap and smiled at Alastor, doing his best to make it a friendly smile, though he knew Alastor was going to be on guard anyway. So Lucifer softly pressed his fingers to Alastor’s hooves. But he was not expecting a choked back noise to issue from Alastor’s throat.

“Al? You, uh… you okay?” Lucifer asked. Alastor nodded frantically, his eternal smile wobbling the slightest amount. It was physically impossible for Alastor to not be smiling, but his smile somehow seemed a lot more amused.

“S-Stohop!” Alastor said, though the chuckle in his voice was exactly what Lucifer wanted to hear. He repressed a wicked laugh and simply steeled himself, acting like he hadn’t noticed. Two of his wings softly snuck under Alastor’s knees and tickled there briefly, enjoying the deer demon fighting the tickly feelings silently.

“You’re dohohoing thahahat on purpose!” Alastor hissed, his legs twitching as he fought not to kick out to dispel some of the ticklish tingles running around his legs. His ears flattened to his head, and Lucifer chuckled despite himself.

“Doing what? I’m doing nothing, Al. I just want to ensure my daughter’s business partner has some well deserved rest once in a while.” Lucifer lied, even as he took advantage again of Alastor’s little weakness, and softly flexed his nails against the pads of Alastor’s hooves. Alastor couldn’t hold it back and a sharp squeal of microphone feedback left his throat. Lucifer covered his ears, before he looked down at Alastor incredulously. Then his lips turned up, and Lucifer burst into hysterics.

“Oh my GOHOHOHOD! Al, what the hells was thahahat?!” Lucifer cackled. Alastor grumbled, his voice crackling slightly.

“Yohohohou are insuhuhufferable.” Alastor grumbled, sitting up to glare daggers at Lucifer. But the king of Hell only grinned.

“Excuse you, I’m following your example!” Lucifer shot back. “Aren’t you the one who always says that you’re never fully dressed without a smile? Can’t have my daughter’s business partner underdressed! No, sir!”

“I swehehear to- NAHAHAHAHA!” Alastor screeched, his back arching. He fell back, squirming like a worm on a fishing hook as Lucifer was scribbling up and down one of the pads with one hand, but using his right hand to make gentle circles on the other. The differing sensations on both of his hooves was driving Alastor nuts.

And then Lucifer simply added his wings to the mix, making sure to pay attention to the back of Alastor’s knees once again, enjoying the soft cackling and microphone screeching that made up Alastor’s laughter.

“NOHOHOHO!” Alastor yelled, trying to tug his legs out of Lucifer’s hold. But the king wouldn’t let go.

“Ah, ah. Where do you think you’re going, Al?” Lucifer chastised, tugging the hooves back into his lap. He wouldn’t stop until he was done with revenge.

“Awahahahay frohohom yohohou!” Alastor shot back. “Stohohop doing it!”

“Doing what, Al? Oh, don’t tell me that you can’t say the word.” Lucifer chuckled.

“I-I CAHAHAHAN!” Alastor argued.

“Then do it.” Lucifer said, egging the deer demon on, smirking at Alastor.

To his credit, Alastor truly did try. “T-T-Tick… tick-”

“No, that’s not the word. Tick is the sound a clock makes, Al.” Lucifer interrupted. “I believe it is pronounced like this. Tickle. And I shall use it in a sentence for you. Tickle tickle tickle tickle!” Lucifer demonstrated, all six wings being put to use. Three wings on each of Alastor’s ticklish little hooves as Lucifer softly brought his nails behind Alastor’s ears and tickled there too.

“AIEEEEHEHEHEE! NOHOHO, NOHO!” Alastor cried out, more sharp squeals of microphone feedback being pulled out of him. His hoof pads and his ears? Oh, that was just cruel. Alastor couldn’t even move, he was that ticklish. And Lucifer loved every moment of this.

“It’s a wonder how Charlie hasn’t found out yet. Normally she’s quick to know about tickle spots. And your ticklish hoovsies are an absolute giggle goldmine!” Lucifer declared, enjoying the pink hue at Alastor’s cheeks. “Oh-ho, is that a blush I see?”

Alastor’s blush brightened at Lucifer’s words as he hid his face.

“Ohh, don’t be getting all shy on me, Al. Let me see that smile~” Lucifer grinned, softly taking Alastor’s hands away from his face. Alastor’s snarkiness was drying up fast, and tears sparkled in his eyes. Lucifer decided that maybe he should stop soon. So for the last little bit of his revenge, Lucifer went all out. His claws flexed upon Alastor’s hooves and tickled every last bit of his ticklish little hoof pads. Some of Lucifer’s wing feathers had fallen out, so he picked up the fallen feathers and brushed them over Alastor’s knees in a pattern.

Alastor’s laughter went silent for a moment. And then the loudest squeal of microphone feedback left him yet again as a long wheeze left Alastor before the deer demon simply went limp, and Lucifer took that as his cue to stop.

Lucifer softly took Alastor’s ticklish legs out of his lap and gently settled Alastor’s shoes back on, even going as far as to tie the laces for him.

“That was… cruel.” Alastor gasped out, the deer demon rubbing his eyes to dispel the tears of mirth that sparkled within them.

“You didn’t even try and stop me, bellhop.” Lucifer laughed. Alastor grumbled and sat up, his hooves tingling with ticklish energy. Though he wouldn’t lie, being tickled kind of reminded him of simpler times with his beloved mother, back when Alastor was just a young boy.

As Alastor headed to the door of the spa, he turned back to Lucifer, smiling ominously. “I hope you don’t think you’re going to get away with that. You will regret this deeply, Your Majesty~” Alastor said, his eyes sparkling with revenge as he left the spa.

Lucifer chuckled nervously as he stayed there in the spa, waiting thirty seconds before he hurried to his suite and locked the door.

Was he probably going to get tickled at some point by Alastor? Yes.

Would Lucifer do this again if given the opportunity? In a goddamned heartbeat.

The End!

[darthstitch]

OH NO.

OH NO. NO. NO.

Imagine Oliver and Dream both with the Patented Sad Wet Cat Eyes and the trembling wee Pout.

Hob is Doomed. Okay? There is no saving him from that.

In fact, he has a picture of that moment, framed on his desk and saved as his phone wallpaper.

Look.

It is not the Many-Tentacled Lovecraftian Eldritch Abominable Thing's fault that tonight's nightmare had a certain flavor of... cuteness.

The goal for tonight was to induce that nameless, awe-inspiring, near-madness inducing terror that only cosmic horror could bring. It would have inspired the dreamer, who happened to be a horror writer of some note, to begin that very interesting, best-selling novel that would be the talk of the year and earn itself a few awards.

In fact, the dreamer goggled at the black-haired, blue-eyed baby that the Many-Tentacled Thing was cuddling in two of its tentacles.

Oliver, the little Prince of the Dreaming, burbled a greeting. A pudgy hand waved hello. He also tried to impart some words of inspiration, much like his Papa would, but the dreamer was not well-versed in a nine month old's vocabulary of babbles.

The dreamer woke up. Bemused. Bewildered. But still inspired. He would still write a suitably terrifying novel, but one of his protagonists was a magical black-haired, blue-eyed baby boy.

Oliver's Dada was quite confused when his son was clearly demanding that he buy a certain horror novel. "I think you're a bit too young for this, m'lad. Let's get something else instead."

This caused Oliver's first Official Tantrum, which had surprised his Dada, as he was such a little bundle of good nature and was often described by his parents' students as a "sunshine goth baby." This was only sorted out when Papa ruefully explained what had happened.

Dada's brain broke a little bit at that but he was, in the end, terribly amused at this early proof of how much chaos His Tiny Darkness, Oliver Robyn Gadling, Prince of the Dreaming, could bring.

-end-

[pixxyofice]

What do you decorate your ofice with?

PFFFTHAHAHA

Pokemon, various video games I happen to be into, dragons, video games, vulpix,

[textingtroublesanswers]

*They burst into another fit of laughter.*

PFFFTHAHAHA-! Hold on a second! Why am I there???

-🐈anon

"To record their epic battles so that you can make money off of it on Australian TV, obviously. Keep up, kid!"

[miraclepapaya]

pfffthahaha dude idc about tcest but you are SO wrong about "anti tcest only blooming in the rottmnt era". it has been there for years. as a 2012er i saw remnants of 2003 tcest 'antis'. theres been tcest antis since the start of tumblr, at least.

Advice to any new tcestor figuring out the tmnt fandom

1. Go to the main tag of the fandom, where I’ll sure you see lot of “no turtlecest” tags popped up by antis who are very willing to talk about “brotherly love” and all the horrible things they’d like to do to strangers

2. Go to the “Exclude” section of the page.

3. Look for the Rise of the TMNT tag with an X next to it. Click on the x, then sort and filter (yes, even if you’re a rottmnt-only fan. There’s nothing wrong with that, you can go back soon).

4. Look at the new tags. Notice right aware that Turtlecest is the most popular tag by far.

The thing antis won’t admit is that the anti-tcest movement is very recent, blooming only with the rottmnt era. Tcest is the bedrock of this fandom, back when we were all comfortable being freaks and weirdos without having to judge each other. 

Sure, it was far from perfect, and there were plenty of assholes–don’t let nostalgia blind you–but the vast majority of people were okay with tcest. And today, a shit ton of people still are. 

Most of the creators who’ve been here for a while, the ones who will be here long after most antis have ruined the experience for themselves and their friends, are okay with shipping. Please make sure to remember that.

You are far, far more welcome in this fandom than anyone who is willing to use violent threats over fictional characters. You have a place here, you have a legacy, you are loved, and you are awesome. I hope you remember that, wherever you go.

[alch3mic]

The microwave started it first!

[wittywallflower]

Miles O'Brien: "A differential magnetometer will do the trick!"

Jadzia, having lived 7 lifetimes and trained as a scientist in a few of them: "That's not a thing that exists."

Miles, about to invent it: "Hold my darts"

[angelxxreaper]

pfffthahaha… it’s actually- they’re here… they’re all-

[lensman-arms-race]

Pfffthahaha! (Cool beans art! 💜)

Something something idfk

[archersmight]

@obsidiansong replied to your post: “You know, my silver tongue has more than one...

“…Tasting?”

“No... err... yes.. But that’s not what I had in mind...” Dammit Teach.

[eaudecrow]

I similarly saw your Curse of Strahd art and lemme just say... let me get all the details ready because I ABSOLUTELY love your style

Pfffthahaha thank you so much!! Fair warning I’ll be closing commissions in July because I’m participating in Art Fight. Those must wait while war is waged

[benjamin-peter]

dontswimangry

I ain't about to go make a judgement call based only on what someone looks like! You could be SHREDDED under that shirt, how would I know??

Pfffthahaha...! Now there's a thought. But, no, sorry to disappoint you. Got cursed with the noodle arm genes. [shrugs]

[greatgoldlion]

"Pfffthahaha!!!"

Merlin looked over his shoulder at them, eyes glittering with amusement.

Dainsleif, too, had suffered nightmares, as he tended to, but there was no sleep-fighting this time, just occasional distressed mutterings.

Merlin would wake to find him still asleep, curled in on himself and muttering softly in Khaenri'ahn.

"Mmh...." Merlin didn't know whether to wake him or not, weighing between letting him sleep or free him from whatever caused the mutterings. He shifted a bit in his sleep, debating whether getting up for either was worth it.

Unfortunately the choice was taken from them both.

"It's a brand new daaaaaay!!" Delilah said rather loudly, hopping down from the loft. "Wake up, sleepyheads!!" Revenge for all the louder noises of the night prior.

Merlin pushed himself straight up on his arms with a yelp, eyes wide. So much for debating getting up....

@official-bough-keeper