#peter pals

[quotesfordays]

"This isn't the Bachelor, I don't have to kiss your ass to get a rose" -Phaedra, The Traitors

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Souper

[at unicorn fuck club] JRR Tolkien: tonight we've got a special story from everyone's favorite fantasy writer GRR Martin: CS Lewis: Peter S Beagle: Hans Christian Andersen: L Frank Baum: Tolkien: whoops shouldn't have said that ha ha Tolkien: i mean, you're all winners in my book

Tolkien: but when i say everyone's favorite fantasy writer Tolkien: i mean terry practchett GRR Martin: oh yeah that's fair CS Lewis: yeah fair Peter S Beagle: fair Hans Christian Andersen: yes yes of course L Frank Baum: that's fair

Terry Pratchett: hello unicorn fuck club today i've got a story about a wizard who is - get this - actually very bad at his job Tolkien: oh ho ho! terry my boy, you've done it again! Pratchett: there's also girl dwarves Tolkien: [suddenly stone-faced] i hate this

Pratchett: but first Pratchett: all this story telling is hungry work! Pratchett: do you happen to have anything to eat around here? Tolkien: are you talking about... Tolkien: having Tolkien: a Tolkien: feast????? Brian Jacques: [squeaking incomprehensibly in rising excitement]

Tolkien: why, terry, my boy, what an idea! Tolkien: instead of merely DESCRIBING a feast, we'll have one! huzzah! Martin: huzzah! Lewis: huzzah! Jacques: [squeaking] i use a mercury head dime as a serving platter!

Pratchett: no no nothing so fancy as that Tolkien: eh? Pratchett: i was more thinking along the lines of Pratchett: soup Tolkien: soup? Pratchett: yeah just a big bowl of heart soup right about now would just be the best thing Pratchett: oo i just love the sound of it!

Pratchett: think about it: no work... no worries... no failures... no waste... when you serve maggi homestyle soups, the finest money can buy yet priced reasonably within your budget Tolkien: interesting! tell us more Pratchett: maggi soup! es ist echt ausgezeichnet!

Pratchett: how often have you had this problem Pratchett: say, you're on a budget but you have to feed your hungry hungry boys Tolkien: oh man i have been there! Tolkien: more times than i can count!

Tolkien: but terry Tolkien: i need something substantial and nourishing for my hungry boys. can maggi soup satisfy? Pratchett: ahh jirt my friend, maggi soup does more than satisfy! Pratchett: as the good people at maggi say, "kartoffelsalat volkswagen fahrvergnugen lebensraum!!"

Tolkien: What's that sizzling sound I hear? Pratchett: Get up! It's soup and eggs, my dear! Martin: What can I cook without much fuss? Pratchett: maggi soup would tickle all of us! Lewis: What's a lunch that's good and quick? Pratchett: Hot Maggi soup mix does the trick!

Pratchett: mm mmm! i tell you, nothing's as good as a rich bowl of maggi soup! buy some today! eat it with someone you love! Neil Gaiman: something's not right here

Gaiman: of course the power of imagination is infinite, friends Gaiman: but in all the worlds in all the multiverses of possibility, i cannot imagine one in which terry pratchett shills for soup Pratchett: [sweats] nein, nein, ich bin der echte terry pratchett!

Gaiman: if you are in fact, the real terry pratchett Gaiman: and not an imposter Gaiman: like the imposter sandman hector hall in The Sandman, vol. 2: The Doll's House Gaiman: then you won't have any trouble telling a joke Pratchett: [sweats] ein witz? du magst ein witz?

Pratchett: [sweats] i mean ha ha of course i can tell a joke Pratchett: i am the real terry pratchett after all Pratchett: [sweating intensifies] and you all know me, i'm a real spaßvogel Pratchett: Pratchett: a-are you sure you wouldn't all rather just have some soup?

[walkman-cat]

this happens more often than you'd think

[gryphll]

Whatever. Chibifies your old men

[swordofmoonl1ght]

Peter Falk in The Twilight Zone Season 3, Episode 6, "The Mirror"

[vamprnce]

these two are friends buddy pals goofy guys to me idc !! I honestly got sad there's no team up mission w them 😔 they can be friends Insomniac c'mon!!!

close ups ⬇️

[ebonyheartnet]

Random Child: It’s so cool that Daredevil’s just like me!

Nanny: And why’s that, honey?

Child: Like, sensory stuff gets overwhelming for him and Spidey, and they can still be heroes!

Child: He’s not good at eye contact either, but that’s okay. His hero friends are really cool about it anyways!

Child: Mom was right; being Autistic is awesome!

Daredevil, 6 blocks away: Aww.

-3 days later-

Spider-Man: Hey Double-D, long time no see!

Daredevil: Always is, webhead.

Spider-Man: Whatcha been up to lately?

Daredevil: Not much, but this kid said the cutest thing the other day.

Spider-Man: Are you gonna tell me or just keep it to yourself?

Daredevil: They were just really happy to see autistic adults being heroes.

Spider-Man: Wait, you’re autistic?

Matt, assuming Peter also got clocked at 7: You didn’t know yet??

[webshood]

batfam x spider-man crossover

Gotham and New York are literally border to border, so Peter lives in Gotham, but works and does vigilante work in NYC, because he doesn't want to get in trouble with the bats and there's like nine of them in the city at all times, while there's not that much heroes in NYC and once a new yorker, always a new yorker.

the thing is, since he doesn't actually spend that much time on Gotham's side, only there because the rent is cheap, he's kinda out of the loop of who's dangerous and who's not.

so when he starts to become friends/flirt with Red Hood's second in command, he has no idea whatsoever and his neighbors are always like "do you really think Jason is a good partner/company for you?"

He's always sooo confused, because what's wrong with Jason? He's a cute guy that likes to read classics, is getting his degree in medicine, likes to hold Peter's waist/use his shoulders as arm support, yes, he smells like gunpowder and blood under his body wash and lotion, but almost everyone in Gotham does! Jason even sends Peter homemade pastries every week, he's dreamy!

so the only conclusion Peter can come up with is that his neighbors are homophobic

[spongebob-connoisseur]

Gal Pals™ but make it spooky

[realnormanosborn]

[fiendishfyre]

This was too good, didn't say it but had to share it (with permission.)

[samglyph]

I remember Peter was my best friend.

Normal colors under the cut

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Possession

JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: sso bad newsss Rowling: i'm posssesssed by a transsphobic demon but my cheap ssskinflint of a piece of shit of a hussband won't pay for an exorcisssm Poe: King: Barker: Koontz: Lovecraft: Poe: um Poe: well we're sorry to hear that

King: do you need us to take up a fund? King: c'mon guys let's pitch in! Barker: what the fuck? no Barker: steve she's the richest author in the world Barker: she can afford to pay for her own damn exorcism

King: now clive don't be like that! King: this is the only way that we're gonna get another cormorant strike book Barker: oh my god King: i just gotta know if cormoran and robin get together! Barker: oh Barker: my Barker: GOD

Rowling: um i'm not actually possssesssed Rowling: it wasss a joke King: oh Poe: you might wanna workshop that one a little more Rowling: yeah ssure Barker: hm jokes really aren't your strong point Barker: maybe stick to manifestos honey Rowling: OK FINE I KNOW

Rowling: i wasss jussst trying to lighten the mood with a nice little harmlessss transsphobic joke and you all jump down my throat!!! William Peter Blatty: you shouldn't joke about demonic possession Blatty: that's a serious issue

Barker: see the reason the joke doesn't work Rowling: the joke worked fine Barker: is that demons, typically, make you do bad things Rowling: you don't need to explain it Barker: but, to you, transphobia is good Rowling: jusst shut up ok?

Barker: i mean, what demon would even care about that? Barker: except maybe mammon King: why mammon? Barker: dunno, he just seems like a real asshole

[poptartregreteva]

also me when the following: dumb dumb - mazie Pathological Facade - Ghost and Pals - Topic The Mind Electric - Miracle Musical House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco You're Too Slow - odetari Faster n Harder - 6arelyhuman perfect nothing - GHOST Everybody Likes You - Lemon Demon Modify - Lemon Demon Digital Silence - Peter McPoland There's Something Happening - Jack Stauber Dinner is Not Over - Jack Stauber Trypophobia - Ghost I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters Where's Yo Head At - Basement Jaxx Let's Go Creeping - Ihascupquake - Topic Grab the Knife - onionroom (there's many more but it would take forever)

are played:

[suddenlyalways]

The Fate of Baby Snakes

A tale of Regulus Black and Clementine Potter, two young Slytherins who will teach their elder Gryffindor siblings more than a thing or two about bravery.

Coming Soon

[roxy4life]

Have this, I'm getting LED lights for my bed! But these were my crushes frm the last months and I'm actually kinda happy on how it came out, and have Joe Kerry looking at himself in a spoon