#peter lukas could never

[wastefulreverie]

hi im horror podcast trash and you are

[avatarofthetired]

Since listing these brings joy to me

I bring to you

An ever growing masterpost of random absurd tma shit that just can’t be real /pos

- Martin actually has no middle name and added the K because he wanted to

- Jon spelling out LOL in his professional voice

- Jon singing. Brief singing

- “baaaaa” -Jonathan Sims

- Bug sex statement

- Bug sex two electric boogaloo

- Jon and Martin BOTH lied about their ages in order to seem more credible and professional

- Martin lied his way into the most dangerous job

- Jonas master plan relied on Jon being Gay As Fuck

- Being Compeled makes Elias aroused???

- that one plumber who walked into a Stranger site and was just so oblivious that Nikola called in Jude Perry so they could make fun of him and called him to come BACK

- Tim was sleeping with both a man and woman at the police station for information and records

- Tim thought Jon and Basira were sleeping together at first

- There was a guy who used a haunted coffin as his coffee table without realizing

- Bone Apple Teeth

- the existence of monster pig

- salesa was just living unbothered in the apocalypse with a woman he knew was going to kill him at some point

- the entirety of skeptic Jon (oh it’s normal that his body was fully encased in web, oh it’s normal that Sasha’s off to a wax museum every day with her boyfriend that looks like a stock photo)

- Jon asking Why Do You Sound Like That before asking if someone is going to kill him

- there was a guy who got trapped in a spiral maze and just left because he had dinner plans with his mom

- there was a girl who had a ghost in her house burning and she just went back to sleep

- homophobic vase

- real elias the nepo baby pothead who’s worst fear was being caught high

- Elías does his scheduling on Wednesday, he may be a monster but this is where he draws the line

- the s1 archive crew literally just commits crimes for Jon’s follow ups

- Sasha has hacked all of the s1 crews computers because she can

- Jon has never been on drugs but gets offended if you say he would never and also blames everything on drugs

- door man with knife hands

- there’s a guy who sells fucky items that screw people over and everybody still gets shit from him

- Jon was kidnapped three times like a little princess peach

- Gerry and his colorful shirt and shitty dyed hair and eye tattoos on vacation

- Jon keeps the rib that he got extracted by the guy who does fucky shit with your bones in his desk

- Peter Lukas got cancelled

- Peter Lukas only gave his ritual a name because he thought they were supposed to and everyone else was doing it

- Tim Stoker and his audible bisexual finger guns

[sleepybugeyes]

I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!

I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing

His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested

He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160

He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays

He also likes getting lost in work

in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression

in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police

in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual

Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior

also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥

We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex

its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession

there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)

He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle

for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful

something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma

In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down

between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man

He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses

He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)

other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)

its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

LonelyEyes has messed me up so severely, because while I love the comedic interpretation of their many divorces, I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about how their relationship is so dysfunctional it becomes somewhat functional. I would argue they do love each other, but they can never give themselves in full. Peter will never truly know Elias Bouchard, or, more aptly, Jonah Magnus, and Elias will never truly Know Peter Lukas.

To be able to know so much, but still, your partner remains a mystery to you, I imagine that makes such a fine meal for the Lonely.

I also think about how gambling could be considered their twisted love language, however much they loathe the other, always trying to best each other. It is a safe way for Peter to convey a sense of love to Elias, I suppose, as he is kept at a distance, always at arms length, and Elias indulges him, and Peter wins again and again, until finally, he loses.

I wonder if, after that, but before the Eyepocalypse, Elias mourned Peter, the same way he might have mourned Barnabas. Peter was just another thing for him to Watch, of course, but do Gods not care for that which they observe? There are no bones this time — nothing to bury. Peter probably would have liked that.

Good lord what am even talking about, they aren’t even canonically married, which still surprises me everyday honestly.

[the-voldsoy]

Parallels/references/a couple theories about TMAGP EP1:

grouped in order of actual theories, vague things i noticed, and even vaguer comments! (using the same terminology as in TMA for ease)

HEAVY Spoilers !!

Stronger:

“Colin, mate, you know you’re never getting out of here” +won't leave until they figure out the errors “Or they finally kill me” → couldn't quit the Archives because they thought they just wanted to understand and know (but later found out they could only get out by dying or blinding)

Lena talks about cake → Mr Spider doesn't like cake + Elias seemed to love the stuff

pub called The Seward -> Peter Lukas vibes?

“There has to be a way to do this online” → haha ! you wish. (AKA supernatural interferes with internet so it cant be dont online)

“There's this box for a "Response 121" on the form.” → MAG121 is the episode Jon is woken from his coma/brought back to life by Oliver Banks

Talk about how there used to be a separate “Response” department → Elias tells Jon its their job to watch, not interfere (iirc)

Old as shit computer → old as shit tape recorders

AKA: the computer seems to be the only thing that can handle the supernatural

“ "Dolls comma watching" or "Dolls comma human skin" “ → violently Stranger and possibly Eye, has me in mind of MAG24 (the one the Calliope is first mentioned in, where the boyfriend is turned into a doll iirc) 

Barely understandable, long as shit file names →barely understandable, long as shit files names by Gertrude 

[in response to where the files go] “some long dead database that no one will ever look at or care about” → the Archives were unmanaged, decrepit and barely used by anyone outside of them

Work during the night - no sun, cut off from outside world → worked in a basement - no sun, cut off from outside world

Martin (and later Jon) taking the statements → did the same in TMA but in reverse (although I’d love to know if there's any reason behind them being called Chester and Norris, besides what's stated?)

Haha Martin and Jon (and Jonah) are now part of the World Wide Web → shit now they're part of the Web (just like with the tape recorders !!)

Someone talks about how they're sorry, they should've listened, couldn't face not hearing him again → martin @ jon and vice versa

Stranger statement with hints of the Dark → first TMA statement was a Stranger in the dark, and it does put me in mind of the Anglerfish tbh

Sorting system for the statements (although there's is a Lot more detailed and v different) → Smirke’s Fourteen

Gwen openly does not like Lena → literally anyone @ Elias

Asked if they were tricked into working here → well, we know the Archives and Elias

“The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → most of the Archives (excluding Sasha and maybe Martin) had something that made them Marked, that mostly led to them working there

Someone who's into spelunking listed the Institute as “cleared” → who could that be (if we know them at all)? Buried avatar, i'd guess, but we don't really know any of them

Photos of the Institute don't show up → photos of the supernatural don't work

The Institute was “weird”, made the subject paranoid → lingering Eye

Fire twenty years ago that burned the Institute → Like the fire at Hilltop Road? Or like that time Gertrude tried to burn down the Institute?

Third floor was the most burned → assuming that's the top floor (and correct me if i'm wrong), wasn’t Jonah in (and later killed) on the top floor?

“offices like little cells” → employees were certainly trapped ! also Millbank Prison

Worried non-existent doors were going to slam shut → the Distortion

Weren’t any papers → left behind before the Institute came to this Somewhere Else (assuming it's the same Institute)? (we need an actual name for the original universe and this Somewhere Else)

Suspicious stains on some floors → my darling, that is blood ! or possibly squished worms, or ink. or possibly something Else

“an old wooden thing with a bunch of similar symbols on” → genuinely unsure what this could be

Strange symbols → For all the Fears, or just the Eye, i wonder? I think i remember them saying something about an Eye symbol at this point, but now i can't find where

“you get a job, I get a fresh victim. It’s all in your contract.” → Elias @ his employees

 “To new beginnings, with old friends” → to a new beginning, with our old friends Jon, Martin and Jimmy Magma :)

“You’re not as clever as you think you are. You think you've got us all fooled, that no-one knows you're listening, But I do. I know. I’m going to find you and then…” → hi what did he mean by this

They (jon, martin & jonah) are Watching and Listening and following through technology→ just like Elias (Panopticon vibes tbh) and Sergey Ushanka

Vaguer (idk if theres anyhting here, but wanted to include it anyway):

Alice loves coffee -> Martin loved tea

Meeting in a cemetery → Sasha with Michael pre-prentiss attack, Naomi Herne 

Not wanting to stay at home because it's full of memories → Jon moving with Georgie, Martin moving to the Archives

Gwen Bouchard wants Lena’s job → Bouchard (appeared to) climb the job ladder quicker than he should have

Heh bug list → corruption

 “You don’t seem like the usual hopeless wasters Lena hires” “The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → okayy no need to be rude. But anyways the OG Archives crew were actually pretty disconnected from the rest of the world +were barely there by choice?

“freight cars near Brighton” → hey where did Melanie get her first Slaughter mark ?

“it’s not too awkward working with an ex?” → Georgie and Jon?

FR3-d1 -> i feel like there's something there, but i cannot figure it out

Just words that made me irrationally scared:

Stranger(‘s)

Distortion

Opposites:

Starts with a party for someone leaving → couldn't quit the archives

“ …you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here.”

please put any opinions/additions in the tags !!

[thermodynamic-comedian]

If we are talking about popular ships we dislike I gotta say my biggest is Elias/Peter. It irks me because it's basically treated as canon, probably because their VAs have talked about it, but there's absolutely nothing in canon to suggest they were romantically or sexually involved.

The thing is their relationship is interesting to me. They have a sort of one sided rivalry where Peter is trying to thwart Elias's plans and Elias is pretty easily playing him. Actually as I'm writing this I'm realizing I could get behind one-sided Peter/Elias, with Elias being the only person Peter cares about at all but to Elias Peter is just another pawn in his plan.

But I don't like the fanon version of their relationship because it's so out of character for both of them.

ohh yeah, i absolutely get that. lonelyeyes is a fun ship overall, but it's also the source of some of the more obvious mischaracterizations of both characters.

i hate that so much fanon content just. completely mischaracterizes peter in order to make him this stoic, quiet, easily annoyed figure, when in canon, he's pretty much the opposite. he's overly cheerful in an empty way, he's extremely talkative but never says what you want to hear, he's such an excellent portrayal of what the lonely really is and i hate that people just ignore that in favor of a trope. he's not shy, he just genuinely loves being excluded socially and thrives on others' discomfort. he's not lonely, he's of the lonely. he's the guy at the party that makes you feel like you're not supposed to be there. he's the guy that reminds you, with a wide grin and genuine joy, that you'll always be alone.

peter lukas is an excellent character. the fanon portrayal of peter lukas is a different guy entirely.

[sarcasticscribbles]

Okay, what are some random as head cannons you have for TMA?

Tim Did ballet as a kid (but it was really more of a gymnastic class target to girls), and really enjoys dancing Very poor relation with his family: he never got along with his mother, and Danny acted like a mediator for the pair. His father passed while Danny was still alive and once he was gone neither bothered to stay in touch. Wasian, and his mother is originally from Hong Kong Jon temporarily replaced Danny in Tim’s life as a younger brother when he started the Institute, however that relationship faded at the end of s2. Danny used to travel a lot, and got hyperfixated on different activities and would seek out where he best could practice it: surfing, snowboarding, sailing, rock climbing etc. He could be gone for months before he got bored and jump on the next thing. He would always bring Tim a souvenir including T-shirts, candy and bracelets.

Sasha Middle child in a rather big family, her fear of being forgotten is rooted in her childhood. Sasha is left-handed, but notsasha is right (another key difference is Sasha never takes off the bracelet Tim gave her, notsasha doesn’t even acknowledge it). Smoker Career driven, and in a constant need to prove herself Her necklaces are from Gertrude. Gertrude wanted to prepare Sasha for the role of the Archivist, and Sasha experienced a sense of guilt when Elias pick Jon instead, feeling she let Gertrude down.

Others Peter Lukas wears an eyepatch he doesn’t need (to mess with Elias) Agnes is Swedish Jane Prentiss used to be Pagan Daisy with floral tattoos Oliver Banks with an Egyptian background Melanie Doc Martens Lesbian Michael is a spiral and Helen is a twist

[skeletonfromthecloset]

Y’ALL!!!!

so i’m re-listening to tma & am currently on MAG 13 (alone) and oh my god. I FORGOT HOW KUCH THE LUKAS FAMILY WERE MENTIONED!!! and it got me thinking about them. so of course i went down the google rabbit hole. and then i was kinda just thinking about the lukases and their involvement with like. the whole tma universe. and the amount of statements about them. and now. now i’m thinking abiut how if jon weren’t in a coma in s4 he probably would have known who peter lukas was and been like “hey man!! fuck off!!” and martin would never have become an avatar of the lonely and gone through all of that and they could have been together sooner with much less misery and i’m just very upset about that. because i think if jon were there and KNEW WHO THE LUKASES WERE!!!!! he would not have like. broken both of his knees idk. ceaselessly watch him via many people surrounding him. trying to become friends with him. trying to ‘cure’ his loneliness.

[bed-of-ashes]

martin blackwoods guilt complex in s4 is so interesting to me because it makes perfect sense. he found our fairly recently that one of his friends died a year ago and he never knew. Tim died in the Unknowing while Martin was relatively safe in the archives. Daisy was presumed dead too. Jon was sort of dead, comatose, from the same event. his mother finally succumbed to her illness, suspiciously right after Elias used her to torture him.

the only people left in the archives were Melanie and Basira, both the muscle in the operation. Martin even says how guilty he felt being unable to contribute to the fight, and it's that guilt that pushed him right to Peter, who told him that his isolation could be used as a weapon.

then Jon came back. Jon, who was worried and protective of Martin. Jon, who told him Daisy might be alive, to which Martin begged him for ignorance. because if two of them were still alive, that's a significant amount of relief of his burden. and a little less reason for him to help Peter Lukas. but three people were still dead, and Martin couldnt let that happen again, so he pushed Jon and Daisy and Melanie and Basira away so he could use his loneliness as a weapon to protect them.

i think it's part of why he was so gentle yet firm with Jon's guilt in s5. he knows what it's like and he gives Jon the time and space he needs for it. they're a lot more compatible than it first seems

[bats4sophie]

Lonelyeyes....I love you, Lonelyeyes.... Anyway. So. I made a little Lonelyeyes fanfic. Enjoy, I suppose. I haven't properly written in a while, or posted writing, at that, but. We ball

Warnings I guess? Mentions of death and age and stuff, might be slightly ooc for them buttttt wtv

"Peter!" The voice called out from behind him. He didn't even need to turn around. No, he recognised the voice without the face. He sat at the well worn wooden bench, hands shoved in his pockets. Simply watching the choppy waves of the Thames River, the thick, lonely morning fog rolling over it. He was almost at peace.

Behind him, the steps got closer, and closer, until they were almost right next to him.

"Elias."

He spoke, his voice flat as the smaller man sat down on the bench next to him, following Peters gaze, and watching the waves, much like him.

"Long time, no see, Peter."

Peter shifted uncomfortabley. He hated having to sit close to anyone, to talk to anyone if it wasn't nesecary. It wasnt so bad that it was Elias who was speaking to him and sitting next to him....but still bad.

"Yes, I suppose so... What is it you want, Elias."

He spoke bluntly, to the point; He knew Elias was after something, he always was.

"Can't two old friends catch up, without needing a reason?"

"No. Not if you're involved. I know you, I know there is always an ulterior motive. So, I'll ask again; What is it you want?"

Elias scoffed, half amused, half annoyed.

"Well... I just need to ask a little favour, of sorts. I'm going away soon. I won't be able to look after my Institute."

Peter raised an eyebrow at this.

"And, what, I suppose you want me to do it for you? What gives you the idea that I'll do that?"

"I figured that, since the Lukas's and the Institute have had a very long partnership together, that you might be willing. And besides, it'll only be for a little bit, whilst I'm away. As soon as all the pieces of my plan fall into place, you'll be out of there, and back to The Lonely."

For a few moments, Peter did not reply. He thought over it, but he knew he couldn't refuse Elias, anyway. Damn it.

"...You have a way with words, Elias, you know that? Fine. I'll look after your precious Institute, but only to an extent. If your employees decide to do something stupid, or get hurt, I'm not intervening."

"Thats fine by me."

Elias replied, a slight chuckle in his voice. Peter didn't understand what was so amusing, but said nothing. He simply continued to enjoy the peace and tranquility, till it was once again broken.

"You look...More tired nowadays, Peter."

"Yes, well. I'm getting old. I'm more worn. It catches up to everyone..."

He pauses, and glances over at Elias, before adding on, slowly:

"Or, almost everyone."

Once again, Elias laughed that same smooth laugh. He knew he would live to be older than Peter. His tone took a slight turn, almost... concern.

"Just... Take care of yourself."

This suprised Peter, just a little. It wasn't often Elias would show...Well, any type of feeling for another.

"I am. Or, atleast, I'm trying."

"Well, thats something, atleast. I just dont want to lose you."

Elias felt odd saying things like this. He was never really able to say these things without feeling off. But with Peter? He was genuine.

"You won't. Not soon, anyway, if I can help it."

Peter's gaze turned down. Truthefully, it had felt strange to have Elias - or anyone - care for him, but not all unwelcome. He felt compelled to move his hand, placing it on top of Elias's own, intertwining their fingers, almost suprising himself. Despite the smile on Elias's face, there was a heavy feeling in his chest, an awful dread. For him, he didn't doubt he would live for a long time, but Peter... Peter could feel the change in atmosphere, the change in the silence, and eventually spoke up.

"When I do...Well, you know...When I'm gone. I don't want you- I don't want it to get in the way of anything. I dont want you to be sad..."

The words made Elias's chest tighten more.

"Don't talk nonsense, Peter. You don't get to decide if I'm sad or not."

Peter looked away slightly. Had he said the wrong thing? He wasn't doing very well at this... He shook his head a little.

"No, no, of- of course not, i just mean... i just..."

His voice trailed off a little, and goes quiet. He couldn't even find the words to say.

"...Please, don't leave me."

Elias said simply, quietly. It was clear that the idea of out living Peter had hit him hard, and Peter once more, didn't know how to reply. He simply gave the other mans hand a gentle squeeze, and pulled him close next to him.

[thecrowwithoutwings]

Day one of posted Tma head cannons because my brain is melting

Martin Blackwood was 100% religious im feeling Catholic. Not in a religion trauma way or in a way that he wasn't accepted, but how he lost himself during the Peter Lukas arc. He was happy because he believed he was good person thought everything and he would eventually see his mother in heaven. He doesn't start questioning his religious views until Elias tells him about his mother's hate. As he begins loosing his personality and sense of self his faith started to fade and even after he never truly believed in God because he was a fear now watching the torture knowing that people could no longer die. There was no heaven or hell just fear and he was the fear.

[daughter-of-prospero]

Jonah Rant

Someone on Youtube reminded me that I rage-typed an essay-length tirade about Jonah Magnus and his status as a certified Bastard Man right after the finale. They asked if there was a chance they could see it, which was a good question because did I even still have it? Turns out: Yes! It’s evidently been chilling in Onedrive for ~2 years. So for those who wish, my thoughts regarding that awful little man are below.

Spoilers for The Magnus Archives.

I went into the finale fully ready to not hear from Jonah again. I thought ‘oh, cosmic horror, as important as he thinks he is, he’s inconsequential and John just zaps him with eye lasers or something’. I didn’t want it per se, but I thought it was plausible.

But no. Oh no. Jonah Magnus speaks again, and he hasn’t been around for all of season 5. We heard him on a recording and we heard him chanting in the background and also all distorted in a job interview flashback, but there has been no actual uncompelled words being spoken by Jonah Magnus in real time since 159.

Yes he wrote the incantation but, rather crucially, he did not read it.

I binged TMA right as it got up to the season 4 finale. I got through season 1 in one day, and season 2 the next, and then got through three and four in the days after that. I caught up just in time for 160 to drop.

So I, foolish, naïve baby that I was, had over a year to forget what this character actually sounded like, and just how much of a slimy, insufferable fucker Jonah Magnus is. Was. Bitch.

I’ve gone into this elsewhere so I won’t belabor it but one of the reasons I’m so viscerally miffed by him is because of every human character in this podcast, he is the only one that is never shown sympathetically. I’m not counting Nikola Orsinov, or NotThems, or other manifestations of the Entities. I mean of the human, or avatar-human characters he is the least grey. Morality in this show is complex and tough to think about in my brain and one of the great ways it does this is through having really layered characters with motivations that are, at least a little, understandable. Jude Perry was a violent, sadistic lady...she was also devoted to Agnes and in some ways I think you could argue they were each other’s only links to humanity until what’s-his-name came along. Coffee shop Himbo guy. Peter Lukas is a misanthrope to the max who will send people into a nether realm if they so much as look at him wrong – which is to say, look at him at all. He was also raised to know nothing but loneliness, and pursuing it was kind of the only way he ever got some sort of approval. Which also manifested as more distance.

We get these little nuggets of what brought a villain where they are now, and we certainly don’t have to excuse them, but we have some context. We have some understanding that there is humanity in there, and that understanding makes them all the more unsettling.

Not fuckin’ Jonah.

What do we know about him? He’s a couple centuries old. Great. He found out about the powers, was drawn to the eye, and decided to start body-hopping to cheat death. He’s been doing this for ages. He tried a ritual and it failed. He took his time then, plotting and planning, and being smug, and finally arriving at a hypothesis that had a lot of credence to it. Everything fell into place, he was right, its all or nothing with the entities but the Eye rules because it opened the door (or WHATEVER).

So his big motivator is he doesn’t want to die.

And you know what, this is super understandable. We don’t know what his childhood was like (Jesus, can you imagine him in a little powder wig, climbing a tree to get a high vantage point to spy on people and get blackmail on them?), but fear of death is almost universal.

And of all the billions of people on this planet, I cannot help but notice that we are not thwarting narcissistic necromancers every fifteen minutes. Because the world would have fucking exploded a long, long time ago if we had more Jonahs in it. i.e. the people who would make aggressive selfishness a full-time occupation.

There’s a sort of cocktail of shit that makes him a memorable baddie not the least of which is that he never even attempts to justify his abhorrent actions. He’s not lying to himself, or anyone else, he’s not serving a cult, or a bunch of worms. He’s in it for himself, and if he has to stack the corpses of every living thing on the planet to reach immortality he’ll fucking do it without hesitation. Couple that with his manipulations, his merciless psychological torture, and a low, smooth voice that is always so infuriatingly composed and you have a Hell of a villain.

(I maintain that one of the reasons he’s so effective is that he enunciates so carefully. He doesn’t run words together, or mumble, he never really raises his voice, he is always in control, and everything is a flex right down to the articulation. I feel like we associate crisp, clear speech with formality, presidential addresses, or theater, things like that. Where you know what you are going to say and so the recitation is more confident. We hear this happen in statements, to a certain extent, but there’s still a lot of emotional range. For 199 episodes we never heard Jonah lose this pointed, smarmy tone. People don’t talk so formally in life, or when they’re talking on the podcast. There is something unsettling and intimidating about hearing such clear and confident speech all the time. It sounds like he knows exactly what to say in any situation. It sounds like he is utterly confident in every word that leaves his mouth. It sounds like he’s in a scene and no one else got the script but him. Because that is kinda what’s going on. At the very least, he thinks that’s what’s going on)

When he drops from wherever he’s suspended in the panopticon, he, you know, sort of makes a noise because that’s gotta be jarring. And we for once, for once, for fucking ONCE hear him even vaguely uncertain. And stupido io, I thought he was finally brought low and we might get a tantrum or something.

But no. Jonah Magnus has a lot of lost time to make up for, it’s been 20 eps since he’s been able to serenade everyone with his unique brand of horny arrogance. This motherfucker has exactly a millisecond of confusion and grogginess before “I was having the most...wonderful dream”. You can hear him edging.

And he’s kiiiiind of surprised to see John by himself with a knife, but still, so blasé, so, ‘oh, is that all?’ He’s a liiiiitle regretful to hear it’s over, but immediately heads into waxing rhapsodic about seeing a thousand lifetimes and the rapture of infinite sight and suffering and other Hellraiser shit when John speaks for all of us and tells him to shut up. Yet another reason to respect him.

And John has a lovely little catharsis where he gets to tell this orchestrator of his despair that Jonah has failed because the Things that Jonah is so devoted to will die a slow death. How long has he been waiting to say that, do you think? I mean at this point there’s nothing that could do what he’s probably feeling justice but he says it himself he gets some satisfaction from “knowing that I’ll be leaving these things that you serve trapped and starving in their own private hell.”

And all Jonah has to say is: “That we serve.” To the bitter, bitter end he is determined to just...okay I was gonna say twist the knife but that seems a bit tasteless now...determined to cause even more hurt. He cannot resist, it’s kind of all he knows. He is at the edge of a cliff and taunting the person that’s about to push him off of it.

And if you ever need a posterchild for ‘hubris’ just pull up a sound clip of Jonah Magnus. He tries to play the old ‘alright, playtime’s over,’ card, brushing the dust and what-the-fuck-ever else off his suit and manipulate John again. He has the...not even audacity, he’s looped back around from being semi-omniscient, to being so confident in that omniscience he thinks he knows everything and therefore acts way more stupidly than someone without that surety. He is enough of a dipshit to try and say to John “we both know you don’t have it in you”.

Motherfucker, what have you been doing for this entire season? What have you been doing this entire show? You have purposefully created someone who has withstood the brunt of every entity and come out more or less intact. You purposefully guided him into honing his powers, and put him in a position where he has nothing to lose. Well, Martin, but Jonah can’t do anything about that. Not anymore. Because the one person who can protect Martin is coincidentally the same person who can, will, and reeeeeally wants to Kill Jonah.

“King of a ruined world and I shall never die” my ass. King? Really? You were a placeholder, my dude. The Eye didn’t give a fuck that you were at the top of the panopticon and it didn’t give a fuck when John pulled you out of it. You said it yourself, dipshit. You might have started the archives, but John IS the archives. He is the only person more powerful than Jonah and Jonah, of all people, should know this. Especially considering you could presumably see John cutting through the domains, dishing out biblical vengeance, on a warpath for your tower.

So of course, he decides to antagonize John even more if that is even possible by telling him they both know he can’t do it.

And John fucking punches him and it’s great. Extended sounds of brutal ass whooping, please and thank you.

And then we get one of two lines that sums up Jonah Magnus for me.

“P-please John, I don’t want to die”.

This guy. Who dedicated his several lives to ruling the world and feeding on everyone else’s pain. Who has committed atrocities that numerous to count and too horrible to name. Who is being confronted by the direct target of his machinations and who, I think it’s safe to say, hates him more than anyone or anything else in existence. Has the absolute fucking nerve to go “but I’m scared :(”

When he went ‘I don’t want to die’ I actually said to literally no one because I was alone in my room “HA, Fuck you.”

John puts it a bit more eloquently. “Neither did they”. Beautiful. And then he’s gutted like the repulsive little fish he is.

The second line that sums up this insufferable megalomaniac is a little earlier. It’s casual, neither of them makes a point of it. Maybe because it’s a little redundant. “Empathy only holds you back in the end”.

I don’t want to die, and Empathy only holds you back in the end.

I mean, that’s the thesis statement of the shit-eating essay that is Jonah Magnus.

He’s so far beyond regret, or anything that isn’t 100% self-motivated he cannot perceive that perhaps John will have maybe, I don’t know, changed a bit. Gotten used to horror. Killed. He cannot fathom anything outside the tower as more than a food source. He is so used to seeing people as pawns he dies not actually understanding why John killed him. “Good luck” are his last lines.

First of all, the direction is ‘wetly’ and on the one hand I know what that means, but on the other, I cannot think of a more fitting adjective to end on with this guy.

Second of all, the ambiguity of how sincere he is or isn’t being is enraging, and so classic and I hate him, which is to say fucking excellent job of writing and acting both.

He goes to his grave thinking John’s making a power grab. He cannot conceive of any other reason for John doing what he’s doing. They’re opposite ends of the spectrum. One who can think of no one but himself, and one who will sacrifice himself because he’s thinking of everyone else. You know how matter can’t be created or destroyed? I think guilt might be the same way. And Jonah found a handy receptacle for all the guilt he doesn’t have time for and that receptacle is named Jonathan Sims head Archivist of The Magnus Institute.

What a good villain. What an infuriatingly mellifluous bitch. The thinks he’s King of the World, he thinks he’s going to get such special treatment, he thinks consequences apply to everyone but him, he thinks this is a game he can win when he doesn’t even know what the fuck he’s playing.

As much as he looked at John and went “perfect, an insecure idiot”, the Web looked at him and went “perfect, a pompous ass”. He wanted to live forever, but now he’s dead. And he doesn’t even get to live on in memory. No one knew he was up there. No one remembered Elias, let alone Jonah. You think Georgie, Melanie, Rosie, and Basira are going to tell the world about him? What would be the point?

Congratulations, Jonah. You tried to ensure your immortality and ended up ensuring that you died both literally and figuratively. Before it got yeeted into another dimension The End must have had a fucking Field Day the second his heart stopped beating.

What a bastard. What an unfathomable bastard. Like he really thought this would all work out for him, that he was the most Important Thing in the world when, at best, at best he was a glorified fucking contact lens.

Ass.

[cranberrybogmummy]

Oi, lonelyeyes fans look at 👀what I’m working on!

Working Title: ~Who’s afraid of Jonah Magnus❓~

Fandom: The magnus archives.

Characters: Jonathan Sims, Elias Bouchard, Martin Blackwood, Peter Lukas... othere?

Pairings: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Peter Lukas/Elias Bouchard..

Chapter: 1? Or part of chapter one

Genre: humor, AU?, freeform,

Summary: Elias invites Jon and Martin to his flat for a dinner party with his husband Peter and others? (season three free form AU what ever) It's going to be a toxic trainwreck, that Jon and Martin get roped into....

Dedication: To my tumblr friends @beheldandcompelled @syrupwit @klm-zoflorr @horseboneologist @lasalebete @nazguldivorce @hisshex

Enjoy this roughest of rough draft WIPs!

Elias was already inside the lift smirking lazily. Jon sighed, Jon could take the stairs to the library, but that would be weird if he just turned around and left. So he stepped inside.

“Hello Archivist,” Elias said warmly. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh?” Jon grumbled.

“Yes, I see that you and Martin have been dating,” Elias added.

Jon furrowed his brow: “It’s just been for a month, it’s not interfering with our work.”

Jon and Martin hadn’t told anyone they were dating, but he knew Elias could just see it.

Elias smiled wider: “No, No, I meant to congratulate you.. both of you. A little romance isn’t a bad thing… sometimes. And I wanted to invite you and your boyfriend Martin to a little dinner party I'm having with my husband Peter and maybe a few others.”

“You’re married?” Jon asked.

“Yes,” Elias countered. “Now it’s going to be next Thursday night at our flat at around 1800. I’ll text you the details.”

“I can’t… I mean we can’t say no can we?” Jon said.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Elias continued grinning.

“Fine... fine I’ll talk to Martin, I’ll see you next Thursday evening?” Jon grumbled.

The lift dinged and Elias got out: “Excellent, see you both there.”

~~~~

It was lunch time when Jon finally got to talk to Martin. Lately Martin had been packing them both lunches, which was good because Jon always had the issue of never really knowing when he was hungry, even before he was the Archivist. Besides, Martin loved to dote on Jon, packing both of them bento boxes, with the care of a Japanese Mother making them for her first born son. Martin had been doing this for two months, swooping into Jon’s office and putting the bento box in front of him, they usually ate together at Jon’s desk. Today there was tabbouleh, an egg and cress sandwich and a bit of battenberg cake Jon assumed was factory made. All neatly put together in their little compartments. Jon had finished the tabbouleh when he decided to broach the subject:

“Martin errrm, Elias knows,” Jon said.

Martin turned bright red: “About us?”

“Yes.” Jon sighed wearily.

Martin took a bite of his egg and cress and looked away. “We can’t end this just because he doesn’t want us dating.”

Jon smiled: “No, no he’s happy for us. In fact he wants us to go to his awful flat for a dinner party with his awful husband and awful friends. At the time I said yes… but if you don’t want to.”

Martin smiled: “Actually I do, c’mon Jon it’s the perfect opportunity for me to dig up some dirt on him and his husband.”

“Won’t he notice?” Jon asked cautiously.

“Doubt it, if he’s hosting a dinner party he’ll be too busy thinking about whether the rolls are burning or if it’s too soon to bring out the roast,” Martin said. “I’ll just excuse myself to go to loo and…”

Jon grinned: “Alright if you say you.”

“So when is it?” Martin asked.

“He’s going to text me the details, but it’s Thursday night.” Jon said.

“Right, I’ll be there with my hair in a braid,” Martin beamed.

“…you’re not actually going to—“ Jon began.

“Jon, it’s just an expression.” Martin replied.

“Right, right…” Jon grinned and took a bite of his own egg and cress.

[zabala0z]

Welcome back to “new fan listens to S3 and OH MY GOD THEY NAME DROPPED THE ENTITIES” and I’m your host, Zabala0z!!! I just listened to MAG 111 if you could tell so be prepared for a long post.

MAG 107: Third Degree

Very The Desolation-core. I mean the officer literally asked “what do you love most” and the guys dad was dead a week later so duh. Sucks that Jon literally has to read out a statement or else he’ll like get sick. Bro has to read a scary story unless he wants to die 💀

ALSO JULIA MONTAUK??? TREVOR HERBERT?? Isn’t that bitch dead???? Bro had lung cancer last we heard about him wth 😭 the weirdest duo ever by the way

MAG 108: Monologue

Not much on this but Peter god damn Lukas, get out. He’s very cheerful in a way that reminds me of Michael Crew, y’know. I don’t know how old he is but he’s a sea captain so like 35-40? “Thought we had a chat. Alone” oh haha, you bastard. Anyways the statement dealing with loneliness and Peter Lukas appearing I guess was something Elias did, I mean Peter said it himself. Peter didn’t seem to like Elias a lot which makes me think, why is the Lukas family even patrons of the institute and why is Peter and Elias suddenly having these meetings?

Not much on MAG 109. Still wondering why Trevor is not dead but whatever. Bulbs breaking is a common theme with like Julia’s thing.

MAG 110 has a heavy spider theme (eughhh). Also loving the Basira, Martin, and Melanie trio.

Now finally the major one; MAG 111: Family Business

Oh my god. First off, hearing Gerard speak is giving me so much closure. Literally his first mention was in MAG 4 😭 his mom sucks. Duh. But let’s get to the main part. The entities. Jesus Christ.

There’s 14???? Jon says that’s a small amount for them being manifestations of peoples fears but that’s too much for me. But I’m so happy we get all the names for them. Because of course they are manifestations of peoples fears, that’s what gives them power. Fear has always existed as long as living things existed. I think it’s so interesting they brought in animals into it as well because maybe they aren’t as complex but they feel fear as well. And there’s billions of animals.

Gerard makes me sad. Like every mention of him, he’s like helping people or at least doing something good. I wish his life was better cause god does he deserve it.

The Lukas’s I guess are apart of The Lonely. I thought they were apart of The Vast but maybe there’s just some overlap. I think it’s interested they serve The Lonely and are patrons of the institute which serve The Eye cause if you think about, those are two different things. The Lonely deals with being alone and there being no one around. The Eye deals with there being someone, something, that’s watching constantly. I gotta know how they became patrons or I will explode damn it.

Then there’s the rituals, what the hell is the Watchers Crown 😭😭 give Jon a break. I’m gonna theorize that Jon is gonna have to deal with that and is somehow going to be the key to it because he can never have a normal life. Gertrude is interesting because yeah she’s ruthless as hell but she also stopped the world ending like a ton so I guess give and take.

I think that’s like most of my thoughts I can write on here. Which is like 1/5 of it. But god I’m so happy we have names, these are so cool. Or not cool. I might make like a post, ranking on which would be my biggest ops 💀

[mcsm-confessions]

when real jesse reunites with lukas after he freed the prisoners they should have had a crazy yaoi charged fight im talking peter and scream in the new spider-man 2 game and at the VERY END they should have given you the not really my style/i could never hurt you/hug lukas choice

~~~

[tumb1rprincess]

Uuuuugh, that slip when Martin was recording and he was about to say "Archival Assistant" and he switched to "Assistant to Peter Lukas." Hurts as much as Jon's change from "Head Archivist" to just "The Archivist."

I don't want to imagine what a "family thing" involving the Lukas's entails. Lukas calling Jon "a grubby Jesus" was hilarious though. Did this spur the fandom on to draw Jon like that? I've seen a lot of jokes about fan art depicting Jon looking like Jesus.

As much as I've bitched about Lukas and want to kick him in the shins, he does have a good voice. He seems to joke more readily than Elias did, so there's a lot more deadpan humor and it almost sounds light. But most of the time, it's just this even, quiet tone that doesn't show a whole lot of emotion. Makes me wonder what he would sound like if he snapped.

So Martin was responsible for the tapes, but he doesn't know why he put them there. I've seen people debating about whether the rib, the tapes, or Martin was really the anchor that helped Jon get out, and while I'm leaning towards the tapes, I think any of three could be plausible answers. Did Elias somehow put the idea into Martin's head? Or maybe it was the Eye itself, seeing that Jon was in trouble, and was like "Martin, Jon is an idiot. Put these tapes on the coffin before he kills himself."

Lukas says he's not going to stop Martin from talking to Jon, but I doubt that means he's going to try. He's already avoided him and everyone else for a long time, he's probably thinking it's too late to go back now.

A 15th entity/fear is interesting to think about. The lore for all this stuff is so fascinating, like how different fears have popped up through the ages, which ones intersect with each other more frequently than others, or even how some of them have never attempted to end the world before.