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skylarstark4826 · 3 months ago

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They looked so happy. She never thought that she would ever smile again after being used by Thanos. But seeing herself in this picture, Peter’s arm slung around her shoulder, the brightest, warmest smiles on their faces -- Gamora couldn’t understand how someone could set her free. But he had. It was clear to see that they loved each other. That she loved him.

Nebula pressed her to give him a chance. It was the only time she’d ever seen her happy. Gamora felt stuck, wanting to know what it felt like.

Everything around her was unfamiliar and different, but she was free to make her own choices without Thanos always hovering in the back of her mind.

“I bet we were fun.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe.”

Maybe she wanted to feel it -- just maybe -- she wanted to know what it was like.

She looked across the street to the house where he was currently staying on Earth. A quaint little two story, lights out, streetlights illuminating it in this soft glow. Gamora was nervous, which was strange for her. She tried to deny it, but he did give her butterflies when he gazed upon her with those soulful, lost eyes. He still desired her, wanted her, loved her.

With a deep sigh, Gamora walked up to the house. The stars twinkled above, seeming to guide her on her journey to the front door. Gently she knocked, the tapping a hollow echo in her ears. There was rustling, the sound of bare feet softly padding across a wood floor.

As the lock disengaged, she thought about bolting back to the ship when the latch clacked and there stood Peter, sleepily disheveled, those soft eyes widening in recognition.

“Gamora?” His voice was husky with sleep, and she swallowed hard as he looked at her like he had before. “Am I dreaming?”

“No.” She replied softly.

“Is something wrong? Is someone in trouble?” He practically tripped over his feet as he reentered the house and grabbed his bag.

Gamora was a bit weary about touching him, but she placed a hand over his and the bag softly plopped back to the floor beside the couch. His touch was like fire, scorching her, setting her ablaze. Heat settled heavily in her belly, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. They faced each other, her hand still on his and the sensation of his skin made her feel things she never thought possible.

“No, Peter.” She moved them to the couch, and they sat down -- she gracefully; him heavily.

“I don’t understand.” He looked down at his hands, wringing them in anxious motions. “I thought I’d never see you again. I -- I had come to terms with you not --”

“Breathe.” Gamora waited on him to finish, watching as he raked his hands through his hair and tried to get himself under control. Sad, hazel-green eyes looked at her glinting in the soft lamplight. She decided to just take the plunge and reached in her jacket pocket to pull out the picture she’d had for months now. The worn edges a little faded from her constant rubbing of the polaroid in quiet contemplation.

“I --” She hesitated, holding the picture up between them. “I want to know what it feels like.”

“Don’t do this…” He begged, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Don’t ask me if you just want a taste of it. I -- I can’t let you go again if you do.”

“Peter.”

“No.” His voice cracked as his fists clenched. “I can’t, Gamora. It was hard enough to let you go again when you left with the Ravagers. It’s been months -- months-- and GOD, of course I still love you. I never fucking stopped. I still dream about you every damn day.”

She swallowed hard, watching as he raked his hands through his hair again, the tears creating slow tracks down his cheeks.

“But I can’t give you anything if you don’t want me. I can’t just be an experiment or a toy to you.” Peter turned away and looked down at his lap, head in his hands. “It destroyed me when you died. When you kept telling me that I was nothing to you after I saw you again. You made it pretty clear that you weren’t her.”

Gamora gently grabbed either side of his face, lifting that soulful gaze to hers, seeing the pain -- the anguish -- the - dare she say it - the need. Maybe she should blame it on Nebula, this curiosity, but something inside her finally broke when she saw him caress that picture with so much reverence. She wanted it to be her so badly. To feel loved for the first time in her life. No, this wasn’t an experiment, and he wasn’t a toy.

“Please --” He softly cried. “Please don’t if you don’t mean it.”

And then her lips were on his, softly at first, tasting the remnants of toothpaste and the saltiness of his tears. She held him, feeling the warmth of his body, and then he suddenly came alive. Peter moaned, pulling her into him; lips devouring hers with what seemed to be eons of desire reserved just for her.

“Mora…” He whined, body pushing hers back into the couch and she went willingly. She was overwhelmed by his hands caressing her, finding places that made her ache -- places she would’ve never guessed she liked.

But then, as soon as it started, he pulled away. She felt cold, bereft -- floating alone in an endless abyss.

“You --” He choked out, “you had your taste…”

“Peter.”

“No. No, don’t. Don’t pretend that you want me. I -- I can’t stand it.”

Gamora gently eased herself back into his space only for him to stand and shift away from her grasping hands. She supposed she deserved this. After all, she had pushed him away for so long. Told him several times she wasn’t who he wanted her to be. In his pacing, the picture she’d brought fluttered to the floor, the soft tap of it seeming to snap him out of his daze and he looked down at it, picking it up and seeming to remember something.

“I had been looking everywhere for this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How long have you --”

“Months.” She sighed. “Nebula caught me with it. When she saw it, she told me where to find you. I didn’t ask her. I -- it took me so long to come here. I didn’t just do it on a whim.”

“I -- I need to think about this.”

“Okay.” All she could do was relent. Besides, she needed to get back before her next mission. “I’ll see you.”

“Yeah.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Gamora held out as long as she could. Tried to take her mind off him, but it was hard to do. Missions seemed to take forever; they didn’t hold as much for her anymore. Her attention was elsewhere, thinking about that kiss and the way he looked at her with those hazel green eyes. There was no denying it anymore, she wanted him still.

So now, here she sat once more on a quiet night debating on whether to go and knock on the door. The need won out, her body already making the choice for her as she tapped on the door once again and came face to face with a sleep-tossed Quill. This time, though, he stepped outside and shut the door softly behind him.

“My grandfather’s home tonight and I don’t want to wake him.”

“Come with me, then.”

He kept pace quietly beside her as she led him to where she parked her ship. The area was well secluded as to not arouse suspicion. She’d walked quite a ways to get to his house, but it really didn’t matter.

“Nice ship.”

She smirked, shaking her head, and they walked up the ramp into the main galley. She leaned against the wall as he took a look around.

“I want to know something.” Gamora began.

“What?”

“How long did it take.”

“It wasn’t easy.” He sat down at the table and leaned back into the worn seat. “You were very stand-offish. Not as bad as now, but still pretty worked up. Thanos was a piece of shit and you kept saying you were never free until he was dead. I -- I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. You kicked my ass, and I knew.”

“You’re very strange, Peter Quill.”

Gamora moved from her lean against the wall, pulled the heavy chair from behind the table and sat in his lap facing him.

“Ga- --” She shushed him with two fingers on his lips and his eyes widened.

“I’ve been mulling it around and around. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I can definitely see the appeal.” Gamora leaned in and replaced her fingers with her lips, and she felt him again -- felt the moment he opened up to her. His hands gripping her tightly, his lips moving in sync with her own, but then he turned heated -- wanting. She could tell it had been a long time and she couldn’t say she wasn’t curious. He already knew everything about her. But that would come later.

For now, she pulled back but continued to stay seated. She quite liked the comfort.

“What is this, Gamora?” He suddenly found the sleeve of her jacket interesting, pulling at the loose threads as he waited for an answer. “What are we doing?”

“If you tell me to go,” she replied, “I’ll understand.”

“I wish you knew.” His voice turned hoarse. “I wish we could pick up where we left off. I meant what I said before. I can’t do this. I can’t just be an experiment or a toy to you. You can’t just want the idea of me, of my love for -- for you.”

“I know I’m not the one you want.”

“You’re still her.” He sighed. “Whether you want to believe that or not, you’re still you. The story is the same up until you were brought here. You have the capacity to want things and the freedom to do so. You being here with me right now is proof that there is something more. Even if you’re not completely sure.”

“You make a lot of assumptions.”

“Am I completely wrong, though?” Peter sighed and gently eased her off his lap so he could stand. “Why now? After everything I went through to try and convince you before that there was something deep down inside of you that has always been there.”

“Because I wasn’t ready to accept that. I may still be the same in the sense that my future self and I had the same life experience, but the point is I didn’t know you, I hadn’t met you, we haven’t had the same experiences together.” Gamora started to pace. “I fought it every time I looked into your eyes and saw how much you hurt, how much you craved. Hell, I could smell it on you, and I was upset at myself because it didn’t disgust me.”

He shook his head. “You denied me then, too. But I could see how much you wanted me, even if you couldn’t come to terms with it. It was our unspoken thing.”

“Even now you smell so damn good.”

“You told me that before, too. Leather, musk, and the electricity of laser fire.”

“Ozone and space.” She whispered.

“Yeah.” He leaned in and she held onto his shoulders as he pulled her close. “And we danced --”

“I don’t dance.”

“Not yet maybe --” Peter slowly rocked them back and forth, humming the first song he’d tried to get her to dance to. The one she started to move her body to before she pulled a knife on him. Scary as it was, he would never forget the way his heart raced when his lips just barely touched hers. “But soon. You want to know what my love feels like, Mora?”

“More than anything.” She found herself whispering, afraid to break the mood between them. Afraid that he may back away and take his warmth with him.

He groaned then, pulling her into a ravenous kiss, as if he were trying to eat her alive. Gamora panted against him, trying to keep up as they slammed into the wall behind her, his hand pulling her thigh up to wrap around his waist as he rocked into her. She was on fire. How -- how could he -- how could it feel like this?

But then he was gone, backing away and leaving her to gather the pieces of what just happened. His eyes were glossy, hands shaking as he moved to leave the ship.

“Wait…”

“You want this, Mora? Want me more than just a taste? Then you prove it by coming back again and again.” He continued down the ramp. “Make your choice.”

And with that he was gone, and she was alone hugging herself tightly and wondering why she gave in again.

XXXXXXXXxxxxxx

Gamora landed again, all in pursuit of this man with whom she denied so vehemently before.

What was it about Peter Quill that made her do this?

She passed by the photo again, this time in a small frame that he’d procured the last time she visited.

It was a slight disaster then. There were no touches, no kisses, and he left her before they even really had a chance to talk. He framed the picture before sending her on her way and she felt empty then. Emptier than she had in a long time. The only thing she could come up with is he still didn’t believe she was serious.

This time she knocked louder, nearly pounding on the door and it opened quicker this time with him gently pushing her away before he shut it quietly behind him.

“You’ll wake him. Please keep it down.”

“I wanted to see you.”

After a pause, he nodded and followed her to the ship.

“What brings you by this time?”

“Why are you being so cold, Peter?”

With a sigh, he slid down into the chair and leaned on the table.

“I don’t know where I’m going to go after this. My grandfather isn’t going to be around much longer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Earth has been great, it really has, but I have no family left here after this. I’m trying to spend what little time he has left with him.”

“You want me to --”

“No. I -- I want you, whatever you’re willing to give.” He looked up at her and she could feel herself caving to those soft green eyes.

Once more she found herself embracing him, but this time it was different. She could feel his grief as if it were her own and they sat in silence together before she had to let him go.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxx

The next few times she drops by he’s more open with her. They talk for hours; he even buys her a few Terran dinners for her to try. Things he knew she’d like from his home world. She finds she wants more of this Peter, his wit, his charm, his laughter. For brief moments she can see he’s forgotten which Gamora he’s talking to and it’s as if they are finally one in the same. But then realization hits and by the time the night ends, he closes himself off again, gives her a chaste kiss, and then leaves.

Gamora can’t help but miss the passion she felt from the first few meetings. She knows it will come with time and he has to trust her once again.

Soon, however, it’s time for her to touch down and she can sense something is different somehow. When she finally makes her way to the house she’s been coming to for nearly a year, knocks on the door, and see’s Peter -- she just knows. He’s alone now.

He pulls her into the living room, holds her close and cries on her shoulder. She’s uncomfortable with the whole thing, his tears wet her top and his arms hold her too tightly, but she lets him. Gamora moves one hand to the top of his head and just lets him grieve. It must be still fresh for him to be this way.

“When?” She finally allows herself to ask once his loud sobs have given way to soft sniffles. Crying, she finds, is a very ugly thing and she really doesn’t want him to do it anymore if she can help it.

“Last week. The funeral was yesterday.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m -- I’m glad I got to know him a little.” He pulled back and wiped his face. “I don’t think I’m going to stay here.”

“Where will you go?”

It’s then she sees the small bag he brought with him already packed. He also wasn’t in his pajamas this time around. She was in such a hurry to see him that she didn’t even notice that he looked ready to leave at a moments notice.

“I was hoping …” He paused and then looked down at his feet. “Ne- -- never mind. I’ll --”

“You want to come with me?”

“Yes. Yes I do.” Those hazel eyes were earnest, sure, and for the first time in a long time were not sad when they looked at her. Perhaps they were finally moving towards a future.

XXXXXXXXXXx

Peter was hard to live with, messy, annoying, and played his music loudly at all times of day or night. Yet, she found it hard to not find him totally endearing. He took up most of her bunk when they slept, and she found herself snuggled in his embrace more often than not when she woke. The warmth of his body was welcome to the cold of the ship.

Though, there was still something on her mind when it came to him and his more recent adore. Just when she thought he’d take it further, he backed off and they went to sleep. He’d kiss her, touch her, caress her body and make her ache. She could tell he was just as on fire as she was -- what was he waiting for. She’d left the Ravagers, they’d been floating around in space, visiting ports for food and fuel, and just enjoying their time together.

Gamora decided to give it a push.

He’d engaged her, as he did every night, pulling her into his lap and kissing her as if his life depended on it. So, she leaned away, reached behind her, and pulled her top up and off, slinging it across the room. Peter swallowed hard and she felt him, felt his breath quicken, heard the steady thrum of his heart. She moved to start disrobing him, tugging on his shirt and he gently grasped her hands in his own to stop it.

“Look at me.” He requested and those green eyes were so soft, so achingly sweet with a hint of lust. Gamora felt herself grow hotter as his hand caressed the side of her face. “You want me, Gamora?”

“Yes.” She said without hesitation.

“You want me? Not just some fantasy in a picture, not the idea of me -- but me, here and now?”

“Peter.” A whine left her as she felt him hard between her thighs, the need to rock against him and sate herself -- the utter need for him to just give her this love she craves from him.

“I told you, Mora. Not until you want me. Not this --“ He pointed to the framed picture on the bedside table, the one she’d kept all this time. The one that started this whole mess. “Not this idea of us, but us.”

“It’s still us, Peter.” She argued.

“No, that wasn’t us. That was me and her.” His body shook as he took a breath. “I want you, Gamora. You. Now tell me -- do you want me.”

Something snapped within her, the delicate frame suddenly across the room in a pile of broken glass, her hand gripping the front of his shirt as she pulled him into a bruising kiss. Over a year she’d been waiting for this now. Months of visits, of pining, of learning this man. Him showing her things, new experiences, music, dancing -- she wanted him. He’d shown her pieces of himself and she’d come to terms with the fact that he was right about her. Somewhere deep inside of herself, nothing was completely different -- fundamentally, she had the same desires.

And right now -- right now she wanted to feel loved, wanted to show this man that it was only him that she had fallen for over this last year. All the talks, all the Terran meals, all the memories he shared with her. He may have known her past, but she told it again and he listened. Listened to what Thanos had made of her, listened when no one else truly had.

Now he gave. Gave her gentle warm caresses and hunger unmatched by any other. He gave her sweet kisses, embraces, and when they finally were naked together, he took his time to map her body. In the back of her mind, she had to push aside the fact that he had done this with her before -- but it didn’t really matter.

Peter was attentive, making her tremble as he caressed her breasts but didn’t focus on them too much. They were nice enough to be touched but she didn’t gain much pleasure from them. He focused on her scars, kissing each one as he moved down her body between her thighs. His fingers gently rubbed her clit before gently dipping into her wet center, his tongue laving at her, licking and suckling -- making her nearly scream as he brought her over again and again, finishing by sucking her clit in his mouth and twirling his tongue around it.

Then he was on top of her, inside of her, and she held onto him -- clutched at him as he made love to her. Endless kisses, groans and moans blending together with soft cries of her name.

He praised her and she wallowed in it. Feeling the tempo of his thrusts as she moved to meet them. And when she crested again, he followed her down and it was the best night of her life.

XXXXXXXXXx

When they arrived at a refueling station, he had run off leaving her alone for a time. She wondered if he regretted what he’d done. What they’d done together. But he returned with a gift, one of her favorite foods, he said. So, she gave it a try. It was sweet, but not overly so, and it melted on her tongue.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He smiled softly.

The notes of a song were playing from his headphones around his neck and she had the strangest feeling that she’d heard it before.

“What’s that song?” Gamora moved to grab the headphones and he stopped her briefly.

“I -- it’s the first song you listened to.”

“Can -- can I?”

He looked a little weary before easing the device over her ears and she heard the chords before a man began singing.

I fooled around and fell in love

Free on my own that's the way I used to be

But since I met you baby, love's got a hold on me

(Fooled around and fell in love) woo, it's got a hold on me now, yeah

(Fooled around and fell in love) I can't let go of you, baby

(Fooled around and fell in love) I can't stop loving you now

(Fooled around and fell in love) hey, 'cause I fooled around and fell in love…

“I tried to kiss you and you pulled a knife on my throat.”

She laughed at that. It sounded like her.

“You said you wouldn’t be seduced by my pelvic sorcery.”

Gamora shook her head as they boarded the ship. Maybe they weren’t who they used to be, but she liked who they were now and maybe that’s all that mattered.

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