#personally i think the clue to liking the season is admitting that most things in it are just there for fun

[seefasters]

people making all those body-switching drink spiking memory altering theories when its so much easier to admit you felt like the writing wasn't that good this season. knowing a thing is mid and still enjoying it is so freeing try it sometime

[tevanbuckley]

what do you think is the sweetest and most well written part of Buck and Tommy's relationship? When they kissed in the first episode they had any kind of meaningful interaction or when Tommy ditched Buck on the curb after their first date and Buck somehow ended up feeling like the asshole about it. If that's a sweet and well written relationship Eddie and Marisol are When Harry Met Sally.

Oh no! They kissed after one episode! How could I forget the only way to write a good on screen romance is to spend at least half a season having them dance around their feelings with enough space for the holy ghost?

And yeah tommy left buck (a grown man in his 30s btw) outside the restaurant, because rather than just not mention they were on a date, buck made up a very weird and uncomfortable lie. bffr that's a "yeah sorry, I just got a text my grandma died," level red flag. I'd have clocked out at the ally comment, and tommy managed to turn that around into flirting!

But anyway thanks for the opportunity to list some sweet bucktommy details so far:

just buck's entire face when he talks to/about tommy, that man is smitten! ((x) if you need visual proof). he has the world's biggest crush on his boyfriend and i want him to be insufferable about it!

tommy's little "so that was okay?" after their kiss kills me every time, it's gentle but also confident and forward (which i think compliments buck's personality very well)

I mean tommy felt so bad about being the cause of problems between buck and eddie, he went to buck's house in person to apologise.

speaking of gentle. Evan. I need, need someone to pick tim minear's brain about the decision to have tommy consistently call him evan, the implications are driving me insane.

the way their relationship is tied up with, imo, one of the most interesting coming out arcs i've seen on tv in years. bi buck is very special to me and like it or not tommy is a part of that.

I love the detail of buck getting tommy's order wrong, they could've easily gone the "omg, you got my order right the first time, we're meant to be!" route, but imo there's something refreshing about showing love as this thing you have to work to build vs something that magically happens to you.

and the invisible string/full circle symbolism potential is insane. The fact chimney saved tommy's life, the parallel of tommy needing to leave the 118 to find himself which in turn left a spot in the exact place buck needed to do the same. The way buck is the reason that chimney meets maddie and then years later chim (potentially) returns the favour. They've stumbled into a writing goldmine here and i think they'd be fools to waste it.

look i'll readily admit i've no clue where they might be taking bucktommy, tbh i don't think tim minear knows, but they've sure as hell crammed a lot of potential into those 2 + a bit episodes. That's what people are responding to.

[snapscube]

Remember when people were calling you the "long lost McElroy sister"? Do you see the similarity at all, or do you think it's just because you share a similar creative niche (gaming/streaming/comedy) with the McElroy brothers?

Lol, "when" people were doing it.

I still get it to this day, friend, despite my constant protests.

I used to understand, and it was even expected initially if not personally encouraged! There was definitely a period of time where they were my biggest comedic/creative inspirations, and the truth of the matter is that I am a mannerisms sponge. I mimic people around me, and people that inspire me, and whether or not it's more than the average person I have no clue, but I will go through seasons of daily watching a particular personality or creator I'm fond of and/or inspired by and usually come out the other end having picked up certain tendencies VERY quickly, a large portion of those being speech patterns.

There's definitely a segment of my content around 2017/2018 or so where, yeah, you can very much tell I adopted a McElroy-esque speaking pattern directly (like what felt like 70% of other Tumblr users also did lol) and it was both because of how much of their content I was into at the time AND also because at the time I found their output inspiring as someone who was used to more... Loud Gamer forms of comedy, to put it bluntly. So at first I took the comparisons in stride and saw it as a signal of my own growth as an entertainer, and my ability to be funny in a way that wasn't just Loud = Funny.

But the thing you have to know about me, and my time as even a minor public figure, is that this comparison was not the first of its that was constantly levied at me, and it unfortunately was not the last one in the slightest. Some will remember the days in which I was a reasonably renowned "Bill Cipher" impersonator in the Gravity Falls fandom, and the pattern was very similar at the time. I dealt with people CONSTANTLY telling me that, despite all of my attempts to separate myself from the voice work I did as the character, I always sounded Just Like Bill even when I was just using my casual speaking voice. If this sounds familiar to those of you who have only been around since the dubs popped off, it's likely because I also go through the same thing ever since I became known for Sonic impressions.

And then outside of voice work I've had my style of content continue to be compared to the McElroy's body of work and even beyond to the likes of Jerma and other big-name-of-the-era content creators. And I have to once again stress: I am completely self-aware that it is not entirely unfounded. I mean, the most recent one I got was just the other day when on stream someone told me I had a speech pattern similar to Northernlion. And like, I even admitted right then and there.... yeah! That makes sense! I've had NL compilations going into my ears and brain for hours upon hours on end lately. So I don't mean to only complain and say "this makes no sense" with delusions that it's completely baseless. BUT, I guess if I do have to circle around to a point, it would be that, though I can occasionally understand comparisons, I would hope y'all in turn can understand why it might not be an easy thing for someone like me to hear, especially in the way it never really seems to go away? Even if one like Bill Cipher fades out, the whole "SnapCube is just a female version of [insert larger male peer in the content space]" thing is something that cycles along regardless. And I get it, it's human nature to compare and contrast. I do it too! But as someone who is always trying to stand out in what I do and make my own value as an individual known above the cacophony of content saturation, I do implore people to think twice about the language they use when making otherwise favorable comparisons. Recommending my content by saying something like "if you like Jerma/McElroys/NL/etc., then SnapCube gives off similar vibes" makes of a WORLD of a difference compared to "This stream is just something Jerma would do" or "Penny is just a female Griffin McElroy" (both things I have heard almost verbatim, constantly). They approach the same ideas, but one gives me so much more of a chance to like... start off a first impression as My Own Person and not just a derivative Girl Alternative, if that makes sense.

Whoops I talked about this way too much :) Can you tell I think about this a lot LMAO

Anyway here's the obligatory joke response that's been spread before

[moriwood]

XOXO — k.sn

kim sunoo x male reader fluff (???) 3.1k words

Anonymous love letters land in your mailbox, signed “XOXO.” Determined to discover the author, you search for clues in every letter but you only find dead ends. After some red herrings and an erased memory, the real culprit was hidden in plain sight all along.

includes: you’re kinda dumb here n sunoo’s kinda uhh… creepy? he has superpowers? VERY VERY LOOSELY inspired by the xo mv warning: n/a?

Like a sunflower in meadows of green and gold, I always turn to you, my admiration yet untold.

XOXO

That’s what the scented paper in the navy blue envelope said in neat handwriting. It sat atop your mailbox, along with a small bouquet of sunflowers. The gift and the mysterious message thrilled you, but you have no idea where it came from. Perhaps it was a case of mistaken delivery?

Unable to contain the excitement, you dial Sunoo right away, knowing he’ll be as intrigued as you about romantic things like this. 

“Guess what, Sunoo?” you exclaim, a mischievous lilt in your voice. “I got a love letter! And sunflowers—your favorites!”

Sunoo’s loud gasp crackles through your speakers. “Ooh? What does it say? Who sent it?”

“Hold on, let me read it to you,” you say, dramatically clearing your throat and reading the letter aloud to him. “It’s got no name on it though,” you trail off. 

Sunoo hums in thought. “Sunflowers… Jay?” he suggests.

“The florist?” you echo, raising an eyebrow. “Just because of the flowers?” you ask, doubtful of the logical leaps.

“Well,” Sunoo muses, “if the bouquet didn’t come from him, then chances are the mystery person bought it from him…”

Taking Sunoo’s advice, you head to the local flower shop the next day. Tucked away on a small side road, it’s a quaint place nestled between dull low-rise apartments. The doorbell softly chimes as you come in, a wave of floral scents welcoming you. Sunlight spills through the windows, casting a warm glow on the polished wood floors. Behind the counter is the familiar florist, humming contentedly as he meticulously arranges a bouquet as usual. 

“Good afternoon,” Jay greets without glancing your way. “Need anything? New flowers in season.”

You cut to the chase. “I got a bouquet of sunflowers yesterday and it made me think of you.”

Jay looks up smiling warmly, although he seems to be quite confused. “Someone gave you sunflowers? Well, they’re beautiful and they’re in season.”

You nod. “With a love letter and everything.” 

You watch his reaction closely, hoping for a hint of recognition. Jay’s eyes widen, then he chuckles softly. “Sounds… romantic,” he comments, pausing. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

You shake your head. “No idea,” you admit. “The flowers had me thinking they got it from you.”

Jay tilts his head, thinking of his most recent clients. “Sunoo got one. Then I think Heeseung?”

“Heeseung?” you ask, curious how the rugged leather-clad motorbike enthusiast found a reason to visit such a flower shop.

“Said he’s getting ‘em to cheer someone up,” Jay adds. “Maybe it’s him?”

You laugh. “I don’t think he swings my way. If it’s Sunoo or Heeseung, then this person probably bought it elsewhere.”

“I hope you find out soon,” he butts in. “Or maybe not. Then I’ll make you a better bouquet. No secret messages though, just a delicate arrangement of flowers from your favorite florist.”

As you come home to the sunset, you sit at your kitchen table, eyes drawn to the sunflowers that you’ve potted by the windowsill. Their bright yellow petals seemed to glow against the fading daylight. You send Sunoo a message, updating him about what you found out from Jay, but he doesn’t reply.

You then read through the letter again, your finger tracing the ink as if it would help you recognize the handwriting any better. It felt vaguely familiar, with lines and curves you’ve seen elsewhere, but you can’t pin its author.

— 

A few days later, another navy blue envelope greets you, this time with a pair of leather gloves. The letter reads:

Under the starry night let's ride, Where our hearts could race side by side.

XOXO

A single name immediately flashes through your mind: Heeseung. You suddenly recall your shared adventures of racing through empty streets on your motorcycles late at night. It has been a few years since he introduced you to the rush of it all. But his mixed reputation has always drawn him as a ladies’ man, it was a very long shot that Heeseung is the suspect you’ve been looking for.

The sun is setting as you pull up to his garage later in the afternoon. He’s hunched over his bike, recklessly tinkering with it. His trademark leather jacket is absent and lousily hanging on a nearby hook, leaving him in a tight white shirt covered in grime. The sharp smell of grease and gasoline is a stark contrast to Jay’s flower shop, yet Heeseung looked surprisingly clean. Heeseung looks up as you approach, his eyes lighting up in recognition.

“Ayo!” he greets, wiping his hands on his shirt. “Long time no see.  Out tonight?”

“Nah. Just missed you,” you smirk.

“Hm?” Heeseung raises an eyebrow, suspicious of you. “Some shit’s up. My gut says so.”

You hold your hands up. “Got new gloves from a secret admirer,” you proudly announce, showing them off. You study his expression as you did with Jay the previous day, scanning for any hints of shock.

“Attaboy!” he exclaims, leaning on his workbench. “I wish my girl would surprise me like that for a change,” he huffs.

You pause. “Girl?” you ask, not that surprised to finally confirm that it isn’t Heeseung.

“Yeah, been seeing this girl for a while,” he explains. “Been giving her all she wants—flowers, dates, whatever. Not my style, but I kinda wanna make this one last. Settle down, y’know?”

“Good for you, you’ve got a girl. I don’t even know who’s sending me these love letters,” you lament. You proceed to recount the past few days to Heeseung: the envelopes on your mailbox, the poetic messages inside, and the oddly familiar gifts. He listens with a mix of genuine amusement and secondhand embarrassment.

“Poems and gifts!?” he reacts, stunned. “That’s a hopeless romantic, man. Someone real young.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Like who?”

Heeseung grins. “Ni-ki?”

You laugh. “Ni-ki? That kid’s barely out his diapers!”

He shrugs. “You never know. Kids these days grow up too fast.”

You leave Heeseung’s garage still puzzled on who the secret admirer is. Before leaving, you promise to race him again soon, by then with your significant others as passengers. Now you lie in bed, one hand wearing the leather glove, playing with your fist as you continue to wonder who could be behind this stunt.

The mystery weighs on your mind, and you decide it’s time to update Sunoo. Picking up your phone, you dial his number and listen to the familiar ring.

“Hey!” Sunoo answers cheerily after the third ring. “What’s up?”

“It’s not Jay and it’s not Heeseung,” you begin, voice tinged with frustration. “Now, Heeseung’s pointing to Ni-ki.”

Sunoo hums. “What if this person’s totally unrelated to the notes… Like they’re intentionally misleading you?”

You pause in thought.

—

A week passes by and a third letter arrives, with two paper rings delicately interlinked together in a chain. It says:

Slow your pace, no need to chase, Soon enough you'll meet my familiar face.

XOXO

The message is quite clear: this is someone who is close to you. As you stand there outside, staring at the letter, you hear a voice call out your name. You turn to see Jake, your neighbor, holding a slice of bread and a copy of the daily newspaper.

“Another love letter?” he asks with a playful grin.

Your heart pounds. “How’d you know?”

“It was obvious from the flowers,” he yawns, stretching lazily. “Who’s it from?”

You hand the envelope to him, and he reads it over, chuckling. “No name, huh? Kinda creepy, not gonna lie.”

“It’s cute and wholesome,” you argue, a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Any idea who it might be?”

Jake’s smile widens. “I’m an early riser, you know… Might’ve spotted someone familiar delivering these.” He takes a bite of his bread and mumbles, “But it wouldn’t be fair for me to expose them right now. They’ll reveal themselves in their own time.”

“Come on, Jake,” you plead, “just a hint?”

He shakes his head, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Nope.”

You sigh. “I’m gonna assume it’s you,” you tease him, poking his arm.

“If it’s gonna be me, I’d go straight to the real expensive rings,” he laughs. “I can tell you this much: they’re always carrying around this mask. And their hair is…” 

“Their hair is what?”

Jake pauses dramatically as he finishes his bread, brushing the crumbs off his pajamas. “I’ll tell you about it if you get another letter.” 

With that, Jake waves you goodbye and heads back to his home, leaving you with more questions than answers. As you stand on your porch, processing Jake’s hint, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out and see Sunghoon’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Sunghoon,” you answer.

His calm and collected voice greets you. “Could you meet me at the train station tomorrow?”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Why? What’s going on?”

“Just come,” he repeats, tone firm. “I have something to tell you.”

He abruptly ends the call before you could even respond, leaving you staring at your phone in bewilderment. He simply texts you a meeting place and time, and a brief apology for hanging up so quickly. You send Sunoo a text about the odd event, only to be stunned by him calling you almost immediately. 

“Don’t go,” he says, uncharacteristically serious.

“Why not?” you ask, puzzled.

“I just… have a bad feeling about it. Don’t you think it’s suspicious? Like a drug deal or something.”

“Another envelope came in today. Then Sunghoon says he’s got something to tell me. What if it’s him?”

“You should stop trying to find out who it is,” Sunoo grumbles. “It’s really dumb.”

“Weren’t you so interested at first?” you protest. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the line before he speaks again. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Please don’t go. Trust me on this.”

With your curiosity fueled by Sunoo’s sudden apprehension, you decide to ignore his warning and head to the train station the next day.

—

The sky is heavy with gray clouds, and the nightwind is unusually cold. You realize it was a poor choice for you to walk outside with no umbrella. Some blocks away from the station, the first drops of rain begin to fall, quickly turning into a cloudburst. You curse under your breath, seeking refuge under the awning of a convenience store. 

The rain roughly hits the concrete pavement, the chill seeping through your clothes. You begin to consider cancelling your meeting with Sunghoon, watching the bustling city slowly devolve into a muted gloom.

Just then, you see Jungwon approaching, an umbrella in hand. He spots you and rushes over, pace quickening to avoid getting too wet himself.

“Hey! Waiting for the rain to pass?”

“Yep, forgot my umbrella,” you sigh. “Where’re you going?”

“To the station, seeing my parents back home.”

“I’m going there too,” you reply, glancing at Jungwon’s umbrella that could definitely fit two people.

“Wanna share this with me?” he says with a kind smile, waggling his umbrella.

“Thank you, Jungwon,” you smile.

Grateful for his thoughtfulness, you ask him to come with you inside the store, buying popsicles for the both of you.

“Popsicles in the cold,” Jungwon laughs. “Makes sense.”

“Didn’t your parents tell you that you beat cold with cold?” you reply, making him laugh louder.

You huddle under his umbrella, making small talk as you walk together. The rain remains strong, but Jungwon’s presence brings some comfortable warmth.

As you reach the train station, you thank Jungwon again. He hesitates, looking as if he has something important to say. Despite the downpour outside, the station is busy, with people catching the last trains, announcements of delayed departures and chatter filling the air.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you,” he starts, cheeks slightly blushing. “I’ve been meaning to—”

Before he can finish, Sunghoon’s presence interrupts him. “You came,” he gently calls out, eyes shifting between you and Jungwon.

Jungwon’s expression shifts to a sour one, but he maintains a polite smile. “I’ll tell you next time,” he says quietly to you, handing you his umbrella before walking away. “I’ll see you around. You too, Sunghoon.”

Jungwon promptly leaves, guilt gnawing at your gut for some reason. You shout after him, “Your umbrella!” but he’s already gone. Turning to Sunghoon, you find him staring straight at you.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?” you ask, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of Jungwon.

“I thought you’d cancel. It’s raining hard,” Sunghoon says, concerned. He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and offers it to you. “Wipe yourself off, you might catch a cold.”

As you wipe off some droplets of rain on your arm, you repeat, “Tell me why you wanted me to come here.”

Sunghoon takes a deep breath. “I’m moving away tonight,” he begins in his earnest voice. “And before I leave, I want to tell you that… I like you.”

You blink once. Suddenly, your vision dissolves into a hazy blur. Sunghoon seems to be saying something but you only hear incoherent noise. Then all you see is pitch black.

—

Today the third letter lands in your mailbox, along with an eccentric kitsune mask. It says:

My immature guise holds a power sublime, A single blink could alter our destined time.

XOXO

This one perplexes you, a poem you cannot comprehend and a gift you cannot link to anyone you know. Could the sender just be an insane stalker? As you stand there outside, staring at the letter, you hear a voice call out your name. You turn to see Jake, your neighbor, holding a slice of bread and a copy of the daily newspaper.

“Another love letter?”

“How’d you know?”

“The bouquet,” he yawns. “Who’s it?”

You hand the envelope to him, and he reads it over, grumbling. “That’s too much for my morning brain.”

“Any idea who it might be?” you ask.

Jake’s smile widens. “I’m an early riser, you know… Might’ve spotted someone familiar delivering these.” He takes a bite of his bread and mumbles, “But it wouldn’t be fair for me to expose them right now.”

“Come on, Jake,” you plead, “just a hint?”

Jake pauses. “I can tell you this much: they’re always carrying around this mask. And their hair is blonde.” 

“As in this mask?” you ask, raising the mask that came along with today’s love letter.

“Yep,” he nods. “I think that’s more than enough for you to guess correctly.”

Jake waves you goodbye and shuts his door on you. As you stand on your porch, processing his hint to the list of people you know, you hear another voice calling for you. It’s Ni-ki, the kid Heeseung told you about.

You turn to see Ni-ki, looking serious as he steps out of his car.

“Let’s go to Sunoo’s right now,” he says in a commanding tone.

“Why? What’s going on?” you reply, confused with what Ni-ki was trying to do.

“He’s been acting strange lately,” he says. “I think he’s hiding something.”

He grabs your hand to pull you away, noticing the mask you are holding.

“Holy shit!” he exclaims. “That’s exactly the one he was wearing. I knew Sunoo got into a cult—”

“What cult?”

“Hurry up!” Ni-ki tugs at your hand, leading you back to his car.

As Ni-ki pulls away, he glances at you with worried eyes. “I just wanted to surprise him with a visit. But he was going out, and he was wearing that mask.”

You carefully inspect the mask. “What do you think this means?”

Ni-ki sighs, grip tightening on the steering wheel. “I shouldn’t have followed him. He went to your place so early in the morning then left something. Then he did it again. And again.”

The realization hits you like a ton of bricks. Sunoo was behind the love letters. You feel shocked, confused, and relieved all at the same time.

You arrive at Sunoo’s house and catch him sneaking back, hooded, holding a kitsune mask that is perfectly identical to yours. Your heart races as the pieces finally fall into place. You rush out of Ni-ki’s car, ignoring his pleas. “What if he casts some curse on you?” he hisses quietly.

“Sunoo!” you shout.

He turns, visibly startled before he musters up a fake smile. “Hey, it’s so early! What brings you to my humble abode?” he awkwardly greets you.

You hold up the latest letter and the mask. “We need to talk.”

Sunoo’s smile falters, spotting Ni-ki’s car behind you. “Ni-ki brought you here?”

“Don’t change the topic,” you grunt, pulling Sunoo inside his home.

The tension in Sunoo’s living room is palpable. Sunoo’s eyes are fixed on his carpet, feet shifting left and right like a child who’s about to be reprimanded.

“Sunoo,” you begin, “I need you to be honest with me. Are you the one who’s been sending me the letters?”

He hesitates for a moment, then nods slowly. “Yes, it’s been me all along.”

You press a finger to your temple and breathe deeply. “Are you making fun of me, Sunoo? Did my enthusiasm satisfy you—”

“It’s not a joke!” Sunoo cuts you off. He meets your eyes, vulnerable. “I didn’t know how to confess, so I came up with all of this. I got a lot more letters prepared but things just went awry.”

You place your mask on his coffee table and pull him into a tight embrace. “You didn’t have to be scared. I’m open to receiving a lot more letters, Sunoo.”

Sunoo chuckles, a bit sheepish. “Although I do admit I enjoyed watching you figure out who I was through our friends.”

You shake your head, smiling. “You really are something else.” You step back, looking at the matching masks that you and Sunoo now have. 

“So the sunflowers were because they’re your favorites?” you ask. He nods, a warm grin spreading across his face like the bright petals of a sunflower.

“And the gloves because…?”

“I wanna go on rides with you,” he replies. You nod, imagining Sunoo hugging you from behind as you drive through the city under the night sky.

“And the mask…?”

“That’s a long story,” he replies, voice dropping to a low, enigmatic tone. “You want more letters, right?”

You smile. “I will gladly be your audience. Show me.” 

He grabs his mask and slowly puts it on. “I think you should blink first.”

You blink, and immediately your head rings. Your vision blurs, and then everything goes black.

author’s note:  i wanted to keep this one very cute and wholesome but i think i just made a horror story AJSFODJZXICVHUOHVBOUAEHRTB

— moriwood.

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

According to Viv, S2 of Hazbin Hotel is going to focus on a 'fun' villain that we meet in S1. Who do you see fulfilling this role? 'cause there are honestly a decent number of candidates to potentially play that role.

Apologies for the delay in response my friend.

I think the final song of season one pretty much set the stages and arcs for season two. It's like during the song we see the 'factions' or storylines we will see. Our villains are shown in it.

We see Lucifer and Cherri joining the hotel crew and rebuild the hotel while Alastor was off licking his wounds and having a mental breakdown. This is the main faction as it contains most of our heros. The first storyline will be just how everyone coping with the aftermath of everything as well as moving forward with the hotel and their own personal arcs. But they do it together.

The next group we see is the Vees, singing about expanding and taking control. They are no doubt the villians for the first part of the season. I think they would be insanely fun as more threatening antagonist. (But with some heart within their own group)Vox would probably be the more fun to watch and would have more screen time as he has more backstory with Alastor. I know everyone hates Val and I admit he deserves it, but he has some entertaining moments and potential. Vel is like a freakin mysterious wild card and I can't wait to see more of her and her abilities. I have no idea why Velvette didn't really take part of the song. It was mostly Val and Vox and specifically said "you and me." and not three or the vees at one part while Vel was just hanging in the background watching. So I don't know if that's a clue that she will not liking their plan and branch off and join the hotel? I don't think that but maybe? Just seem odd she wasn't part of the final really beside being in the background but they Vees are so endearing together!

The next to sing is Alastor. Who was alone, nearly losing it and dealing his near death and restrictive chain around his neck. That's HIS arc. But the point is he ALONE. I think that's going to be a huge foreshadow. He may be sociable but hes a solitary man and that's how he typically survives. He nearly breaks down because he venture out of his solidarity life to provide aid and NEARLY died because he stuck his overconfident neck out. But I think that doing things alone will be his downfall and he coming to realize that soon. I mean, he nearly died because he was watching everyone else's back but set it up that no one can watch his (he probably thought he didn't need it. Egotistical man) and he stood quite a distance and out of sight for anyone to provide him aid if he needed it. Alastor is going to be his own faction. He going to simultaneously stand by both his master and the Charlie and her hotel but ultimately choosing himself. I think at some point this will weaver in favor of Charlie. Either for Charlie or he realizes he can't do it on his own anymore. I use him joining the hotel at the end of the song as evidence. But he still going to be questionable because as they group was walking out of the new hotel, just about everyone was singing joyfully with raised arms, (Notice everyone had their arms spread out. everyone but Lucifer, Vaggie (one arm sticking out as it res on her hip, and Alastor typical stance of behind his back. I may be reading too into it, but the people with their arms down seem like the ones that want or have to stay in Hell)

The one thing that has me super concern about Alastor, his last image of season one was him singing along at the last few seconds of the song. Everyone look joyous and hopeful, Alastor included but then it quickly change to a look of bad intentions as he looked onto the new hotel. I have no doubt he betray the hotel at one point. The question is, is he force to by his master or is he really villain after all because hes that power hungry? I think Alastor going to continually bounce back between good and bad guy to keep up guessing his motives.

Either way, base on how he carried himself in the group in the song, I'm guessing he aligns himself with the hotel as an ally but he doesn't really stand with the hotel.

Then we get two additional factions on Heaven side. Emily, Sir Pentious and Sera. I think MOST of their quarreling would be amongst each other. Mainly Emily siding with Sir Pentious and Sera being very worry and against everything. Sera will be the 'bad guy' here. But not only is she worry that she was wrong about exterminations that may cause her to fall. She extremely concern that Emily will fall by questioning everything now. Not to mention, I'm sure Lute trying to manipulate Sera into siding her own agenda.

Sir Pentious redemption would be a secret but the hotel will find out about it mid way. I think it be hilarious if somehow Frank knew first. So he kept babbling about Sir Pentious been redeemed and is in Heaven to the rest of the Hotel and they all just look at him sadly at what seem like false hope of someone in mourning. As Sir Pentious said, "they say crazy shit all the time!"

Lute and Lilith (?) being the last faction and main threat in the later part of the season. They are going be the big baddies that make The Vees villains goals, small by comparison. Before we get plot twist, sudden appearance of Roo in the last 5 moment of the season two to foreshadow that looming threat for season three.

I basically think everyone beside the main hotel group as the antagonist.

Now, if your question is asking who I think would be a villain that isn't the main suspects.

its clearly would be this gal.

Just kidding! But you have to admit she would be insanely fun to write as a villain.

I have to reach the show but I can't really guess who would be the surprise villain. I would guess the Von Eldritch family? I mean, we saw their pictures so I guess we were "introduce to them". But I don't see them being a frightening threat.

My other guess would be Zeezi or unnamed overlord? I am curious about them but I rather see them fight as allies then villains.

I have to rewatch the series to guess a hidden villain that isn't the main suspects.

[lfghughes]

Wedding Series ft. Jack

a/n: this was a pretty popular request so there will be multiple parts but here’s the dress shopping part!!

You loved this whole wedding planning thing as stressful as it was. You would also admit that you weren’t sure you could do any of this without Ellens help. Ellen was pretty essential in this whole progress because you had no clue what you were doing and her advice was always helpful. Both you and Jack had agreed that because of the hockey season that the wedding date would be sometime in the summer just because his schedule was a lot more open then along with half of his friends and family.

It’s not that you two were in a rush, you waited this long for the proposal you could definitely wait for the wedding itself. But you were not waiting more than two years as ridiculous as that sounded to most people. The stress was already enough for you and you couldn’t imagine balancing the stress of your normal day to day life and the wedding stress for 2+ years.

Today was actually the day you were most excited for because Jacks mom was coming into town to help you go pick out a dress. “Are you sure I can’t go? You can do like your top three and then just surprise me on the actual day.” Jack begged, funny enough he was just as excited as you were about the wedding dress. “Absolutely not. Sorry but you’re waiting until the day. It’s bad luck and as a hockey player you should know how important superstitions are.” You pointed out to him with a grin.

Once Ellen got to your place, you both headed out to lunch and then to the wedding dress shop. You tried on a variety of dresses and you were thankful that Ellen was honest about her opinion. Giving you no’s to dresses that weren’t flattering and your personal favorite that she would say was “you look cute but I’m not sure if this is the one.” None of that hurt your feelings because you agreed so far. Finally you picked out a dress, one that you had been eyeing and wanted to save for last.

When you stepped out of the dressing room in front of Ellen her hand flew to her mouth and you could see tears well up in her eyes as she looked at you. “Is it that bad?” You teased but you knew what that look on her face meant. “You look gorgeous, what do you think?” Because at the end of the day it was your decision but your decision was made the minute you saw yourself in the mirror. “I think I’m saying yes to the dress.”

Now that your dressed was picked you both headed back to your apartment and Jack was on the couch waiting impatiently. “Well??” He asked and you grinned at him. “Oh we found the dress and let’s just say I made your mom cry.” You told him and Ellen laughed next to you. “Jacky, trust me. The minute you see her walk down that aisle in her dress you’re going to cry too.”

[aleksanderscult]

Favorite Darkling quotes

I'm gonna write my favorite Darkling quotes 'cause a) I'm bored b) I love him and miss him so much.

Anyways I'm not gonna rate them cause every one of them is fucking iconic (as he is).

Let's get into this!

"Blue sky. Once more. Speak my name once more... Don't let me be alone."

These might be my most favorite quotes of his. His last words. 'Cause with his last breath he showed that he was only human after all. Cruel and damaged, yes. But still human.

There is no safe place. There is no haven. Not for us. There will be, he promised in the darkness, new words written upon his heart. I will make one.

I ADORE these lines. Less than 24 hours ago two Grisha tried to kill him (one of them a supposed friend) and what did he tried to do after that? Create a safe space for his kind in order for them not to go through what they went through. If he's the villain for this then I wish we had this kind of villain in our world.

‌"All men can be made fools."

OKAY OKAY LISTEN. I love this line for two reasons. Firstly, cause it's true. Every person can be made a fool. BUT! Secondly and most importantly, he hints to Mal and Alina (Alina actually cause Mal didn't know he was there) that he was made a fool too because of Alina. He fell in love with her and felt hope for the first time after centuries that this new person would be like him, live with him and spend eternities together. He would no longer be alone. And she seemed that she wanted him too as far as he could tell. And then what happened? She run off, found Mal and turned her back on him and their country. That mostly disappointed him, I think. In a large degree. And he must have thought what a fool he was to trust her and fall for her. Hence that amazing line.

Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.

And boy did he not make it? Years after his death in R&R and people still talk about him. He made a mark not only on the world but on people too (no pun intended for Genya I swear. I love her😭). He made a huge impact and even antis have to admit that. Actually more than the actual protagonist but anyways *coughthe fact that the villain made bigger impact than the heroes in the storycough*

"Fight me as long as you're able. You will find I have far more practice with eternity."

You fucking iconic legend with your fucking iconic lines. And yes, I believe him. No matter how many decades Alina would fight him, he would be unmovable.

‌"It’s harder when you like them. You mourn them more."

That line is so true. The more you care, the more you get hurt. I'm sorry but a quality that people often overlook about the Darkling is his wisdom. I would sit and listen for hours to him talking about life, love, death and people. After so many centuries he's so knowledgeable.

Also, this line makes me wonder how many people he had loved, lost and mourned. Because obviously he talks from experience. *Sigh* I would die to read a book about his whole life before Alina.

He only wished that it wasn't winter. He wanted to turn his face to the sun and feel it warm him. He'd been a long time in the dark.

Yeah he's cruel and manipulative and the villain and blah, blah, blah. But again this line proves his humanity. He loves the sun (how much are you willing to bet people that his favourite season is Summer😏), he loves the sunlight, its warmth and light (another clue that Alina is his soulmate dc what anyone says). Our baby was resurrected and first things first he wanted his wife beside him and the sun to hit his face (priorities people🥹😍).

"Then I'd be alone too."

(*whispering*don't cry, don't cry, don't cry)

So. Heh. I may have a soft spot for fictional characters that suffer from loneliness. Probably because I have suffered from it too most of my life (🫠). I'm sorry but you can hate him all you want alright? No one can stop you. But people that don't feel an ounce of sympathy or pity for him and what he has gone through are just useless to talk to. Most of all he wants someone to make him company to this endless sea of eternity.

Deep blue like the True Sea. Red like the roofs of the Shu temples. The pure, buttery color of sunlight—not really yellow or gold, what would you call it? All the colors you couldn't see in the dark.

(fuck. lost control of my tears after all)

Baby shadow summoner can control the dark and its blackness and yet he loves all colors that are bright. But most of all the sunlight.

(DARKLINA STANS RISE)

Also, he made the Grisha keftas blue, red and purple because he loved these colors the most, change my mind *sip tea*

‌"Fine. Make me your villain."

Ah, yes. The cult classic one. Honestly, this line makes me feel bad for him. Cause he has tried the peaceful solution so many times (not with just Alina but generally). At this point he's like: "Fuck it. If I have to become a monster then so be it." They leave him no choice and furthermore he's obviously grown tired of trying diplomacy.

"I’ll be certain you hear it when I make her scream."

I froze the first time I read this line but now I laugh every time I do. Here he shows how petty he can be and how much shame he doesn't have (in your face Mal😚).

‌"My Alina. You cannot run from me."

OKAY LISTEN

I know it sounds creepy but "my Alina" and "I'll always find you" MY DARKLINA HEART GUYS

‌"I know what you thought, what you always thought of me. It's so much easier that way, isn't it?"

My strategic baby. But this line is also sad. Cause he knows how Alina views him and, even if he hides it well, deep down I bet it hurts him.

‌"You two have a bad habit of acting like fools and calling it heroic."

Isn't that the truth tho? Our boy spitting facts once again. Also this line can be applied to other characters from different fandoms as well.

‌"I seem to be a victim of my own wishes where you are concerned."

TRANSLATION: I TEND TO FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD-DOMINATION PLAN CAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, LIVE WITH YOU, LOVE YOU, MARRY YOU, HAVE 7 KIDS WITH YOU AND DRINK SOME TEA ON THE PORCH TOGETHER WHILE THE SUNLIGHT HITS US

TRANSLATION NO2: I GOT MY ASS KICKED CAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING THAT I WAS KISSING YOU AND WOULD FINALLY HAVE THAT WEDDING THAT I WAS PLANNING BABE

Is this line a kind of love confession or what? 🥺🙃

‌"We all have our secrets."

Mostly I love this line cause it just sounds cool. But after I read the book for a second time I realized that it could tie with the "Demon in the Woods" book. It's a nice little nod. If you get it, you get it😉.

‌Why did you go to her? Because with her he was human again.

A nice (though bittersweet) little way to end this post. 🥹

With Alina he felt human again. That part that was buried deep beneath him and rarely if not ever got out. Do you remember how she made him laugh with her honest remarks on "Shadow and Bone"? How his eyes closed and his breath stopped when she reached to stroke his cheek on R&R? How he broadly smiled when she laughed about how common his name was? That was Aleksander Morozova (especially that last part). The boy that grew up forcefully and was thrown to a cruel world too soon, too violently. They were these 400+ years that made him cruel. It was eternity that broke him. Loneliness and pain that made him withdraw. Until Alina came. And she could bring to the surface that buried, broken boy. And it felt good to him (although inconvenient too). She made him feel vulnerable. And when he was resurrected he seeked her out to feel that way again. Human.

*sigh*

Thanks for coming to my ted talk guys. 😔✌️

Feel free to write in the comments your own favorite quotes of him 😊❤️

[blazinghotfoggynights]

It is totally possible to be a Buddie endgamer AND still support Buck/Tommy. It's possible to never be shaken from your stance as Buck and Eddie being soulmates while supporting every relationship they have been in, regardless of how dysfunctional it was.

Here's my take:

I want to see both Buck and Eddie explore life and find their true paths independently of each other, Christopher, and the 118. They are more than just each other's best friend/coparent, Christopher's fathers, and firefighters/part of the 118 family.

Since we know there is a season 8, and I would guess a season 9+ if these ratings keep up, it would be awesome to watch a full season, or more, of character evolution. We could watch Buck dating both men and women openly, learning his value, and discovering what he wants for his future.

Buck, as Bobby pointed out, doesn't enter into relationships of his own accord. He stumbles and falls into them without a clue how he got there. One day, he wakes up and he's someone's boyfriend or living with someone and isn't sure how it happened. Buck simply goes wherever someone will accept him. He misconstrues that acceptance and tolerance as genuine romance, feelings, and love.

Abby was bored and lonely and horny. I could say a lot about that relationship. If the motivation strikes, I may post about how that relationship was toxic and manipulative on Abby's part. If there are any Abby fans, you need to know your girl was showing some tendencies that were red flags.

Ali? Buck was single. She showed interest. That's it.

Taylor? Great sex and she kept coming back to Buck. She was there for all the wrong reasons and had questionable morals, but she was there. That was enough for Buck.

Natalia, again, was simply in front of Buck. She was obviously only interested in Buck's death, not Buck as a person, but Buck didn't care. He tried to make it work anyway because Natalia gave him time and attention.

So, we have an established pattern of Buck dating whoever will give him the time of day when he needs it most.

Enter Tommy. Buck is feeling left out. He's probably slipping into loneliness and spiraling because he feels the most important person in his life for the last six years is being taken away from him. (That's Eddie, for those in the back.)

Tommy shows up, sees Buck is spiraling, and kisses him. (Tommy fans, canon has established that Tommy has bad guy capabilities. Stop trying to gaslight the fans who are saying he may not be the good guy his sudden fandom claims he is. He isn't and Hen and Chimney forgiving him doesn't change that. People who are capable of consciously being a-holes are just a-holes. Mmkay?) He doesn't just hit on Buck. He physically initiates contact, giving Buck no doubt the man is open to other men. He showed Buck attention in a moment of crisis and he's a safe option after Buck openly admitted he was jealous and trying to get attention.

Buck stumbles into the next relationship. (Again, I could examine that situation, but if I do, it will be in a separate post.)

The show could give us Eddie admitting he let the expectations and influences of third parties control his destiny and he has no idea who Edmundo Diaz really is outside of what was expected of him, what he was taught, and what he did out of a sense of duty instead of doing what he wanted to.

He was with Shannon because she was pregnant and the right thing to do, per their parents and his faith, was marry her. I think he loves her for giving him his son, but nothing he has ever said or done indicates he was in love with her. I think he thinks he was. I think he wanted to be.

He was with Ana because Christopher needed a mother, per what he was told and taught, and she had an impressive resume and knew Christopher.

He is with Marisol because she fits the perfect mold of what his parents would like and she gets along with Christopher.

Should we talk about Eddie's relationships timing up perfectly with when Buck enters a relationship? No?

That man has never once in six seasons made a believable statement about genuine attraction to or sexual enjoyment with women. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have straight male friends who are in their 20s or 30s, you know you will be subjected to more details about their sexual history than you ever wanted to know. (Many of my close friends historically have been straight men. Conversations with them have been interesting and eye-opening. Sometimes traumatic, too, but I knew what I signed up for when I became their friend.)

Eddie canonically is in his early 30s and has been on the screen since his late 20s, but went without sex for years, never seemed to miss it, and now he's suddenly "pent up"? That is not the whole story and there is more going on there.

I'd love to see Eddie figure out he isn't into Marisol and hasn't been into anyone genuinely, except maybe Shannon. There could easily be a demisexuality arc for Eddie. Keep in mind, the term demisexuality was coined less than 20 years ago and is still not widely known. Eddie could spend a season, or more, working through the feelings he's ignored or been unable to put into words, dealing with overbearing parents, and how his faith has quietly, and unbeknownst to him, guided his choices. He could spend a long time wondering why he never feels an instant connection with anyone, except Buck and Tommy. (You seeing a pattern here?) This season has openly pointed out Eddie is in therapy.

The road to Buddie can be filled with satisfying detours, aka other relationships, leading to the realizations that open their eyes to each other. We don't have to negate the Buck and Eddie's experiences with others to support Buddie.

The part of me that wants instant gratification would love to see Eddie and Buck dancing at Madney's wedding and figuring out they are what they have been looking for all along. Cut to them in a room going at it.

But, the part of me that loves a great story, and doesn't mind waiting if the writing is great, is fine with a slow burn that gives us deep storylines and episodes that grip you from beginning to end. Let's say we have the rest of season 7, season 8, and maybe a season 9. There would be so much possible material.

Buck could go through a relationship with Tommy, a breakup, confusion, dating again, multiple amazing conversations with LGBTQ characters like Hen, Karen. This would also allow for giving other characters more depth, backstory, and more time on-screen. (This would be an amazing time to bring back Rockmond Dunbar as Michael and have him and Buck discuss figuring your sexuality out later in life!)

Eddie could spend that time working through his Catholic guilt and separating his actual needs and desires from what he was taught to need and desire. He could realize he makes excuses to stay with the women he dates then finds an excuse to escape when being with those women gives him anxiety. He could begin questioning if he is gay, bi, pan, or what. Then he could ask himself why he never really gets to know the women he dates. Who has he been close to? What was different? What gives him a feeling of safety and security and home? He needs to figure himself out.

So, yes, I do believe Buck/Tommy is acceptable and I support it, just not as endgame. I think, if written well, it could be integral to a great growth plot that takes us through Eddie and Buck diverging on their paths to self-discovery only to converge later on, a little more scarred but more in tune with themselves, to see their future in each other.

[kattahj]

My Agatha Christie Re-Reading Project, #49: 4.50 from Paddington

Full disclosure: I actually re-read this back in spring, but never got around to writing a review, and then I stalled on Ordeal by Innocence and got swamped by other things and... well. Here we are, half a year later.

It's not because I don't like this book, either. On the contrary, it's one of my favourites, largely due to the presence of Lucy Eylesbarrow. Out of all of Christie's one-book heroines, she's probably my favourite (though Frankie Derwent is a strong contender).

Lucy's of course a bit too good to be true. She's such an efficient housekeeper families fall over themselves to employ her, she's a gifted mathematician, and she charms every man in the house – but she also charms the reader so thoroughly that you accept it all.

Well. I'm not entirely sure that housekeepers made more money than mathematicians even in Christie's time, but I take it as Christie's continued grumping that help is too expensive and hard to get. :-)

The rest of the cast are Christie's standard well-off and quarrelsome family. Perhaps the closest comparison is Hercule Poirot's Christmas, and I would say on the whole, 4.50 does a bit better with similar character types. It's fun to see them interact, and the two men who are the most romantically interested in Lucy are both rather appealing in different way. (The book is never clear on who she chooses, though TV's Marple went with the – also possible and quite appealing – third option.)

As for Miss Marple herself, she takes a bit of a backseat role in this one, but as always, she's a delight when she appears.

But of course, the center of any Christie (under that name) is the mystery. The concept of the murder seen on a passing train is inventive and engaging, and Mrs. McGillicuddy makes for a fun POV character for that bit. The story as it progresses works pretty well too, but it should be noted that this book is pretty light on clues. All About Agatha claimed there were hardly any, but I don't think that's quite true. They're just hard to pick up on, and even a seasoned Christie probably won't figure this one out on the first try.

Still, consider the following:

Who is a suspect?

Who is not treated as a suspect, but is also heavily involved in the case and has a potential opportunity to commit the murder?

What is actually going on, rather than what seems like it should be going on?

Is there anything that's treated as fact even though only one person said it?

How are the following murders committed? Who would have the opportunity?

And a bit of a spoiler: What is the significance of Anna Stravinska's old colleague mentioning that she claimed to be married to an Englishman?

That gives you a sporting chance, though by no means any guarantees!

So on the whole (and admitting that I'm rating with a fair bit of nostalgia), my verdict is 4/5.

[rey-jake-therapist]

I’m not optimist, I’ll tell you that. I think the “he loves her and you’ll see it at the end” is Sauron just allowing Galadriel to walk away unarmed at the end of the fight. Because if the “Last Temptation” OST is anything to go by, Halbrand will appear and the fight goes on. Which is stupid, but it seems what the OST is hinting at. And nothing can top a freaking kiss. They already spoiled any emotional or romantic innuendo between Sauron and Galadriel because of ep7. And Saurondriel kiss isn’t happening, they won’t have Galadriel being kissed by two different characters in the same season. So, yeah, they gave “the kiss” and all the emotional baggage to Elrond instead of Sauron. And for nothing, really.

Alright, my inbox is at the edge of imploding. Lots of messages of Haladriels who are worried sick about what will happen in episode 8.

Guys (gender neutral), I GET IT. I totally get it. I wish I was secretly working for Amazon and had intel about episode 8 that I could share with you, to comfort you. But to paraphrase Nori, "I'm just a little fan in a grant, wide world" !

I won't tell you how you should feel. I won't tell you to calm down, to like the Elondriel kiss, or to be optimistic. Maybe because I'm probably older than most of you are and was let down by mainstream media more than once, I take things as they come now.

"We won't have a Saurondriel kiss now because of the kiss with Elrond".... Look, it was never going to happen, except in our heads. I said it several times on my blog so my stance on the matter shouldn't come up as a surprise lol And personally I never felt baited into believing that they were telling a Saurondriel romance, with dialogues and actions that said they were in love with each other. That's one of the reason why I thought the "Elrond was in fact Sauron in disguise" was bonkers in universe, but I ran with it anyway because it was very well thought and could have very well be true, if that was the story they were telling.

But when I started to receive asks of shippers hoping we were right I quickly felt very bad for giving hope, and kinda wished I had kept my thoughts for me. Speculating, analyze the episodes, share my thoughts with other fans is what I prefer in a fandom, so I didn't think it through ! And I'm sorry if even briefly, I gave you hope for something that would never happen. I really am.

All that the writers actors and showrunners baited was a "connection", a relationship that goes deep and will endure for thousands of years, leaving none of them unscarred. Galadriel and Sauron are different but not that different; they want the same thing but will never agree on the means ; they're attracted to each other like a moth to a flame and they will probably keep turning each other like crazies for a long, long time, but they're never going to find a commun ground ! That's the story TROP is trying to tell us, I think. "So near, and yet so far", that could literally be a Haladriel motto.

The problem I have now, with what they baited, is that we saw nothing of that so far. I expected to have some evidence of this "cosmic connection" that they keep telling us about during the course of season 2, but we got nothing. I guess they're keeping at all for episode 8, but I still have flashback of Reylo "they have this Force bond, they're like soulmates in the Force but they use it only to fight each other, to give objects and to die while healing the other" trauma and I have a bad feeling about this, if you get my drift... But as I said earlier, I will take whatever they give us. I grew quite used to mediocre media that doesn't have a clue of how the concepts they sell actually work in fiction, so I'm pretty much prepared to see it happen. Again.

Now, the images in the trailer don't scare me for episode 8. I admit it's a bit weird to see Sauron already in his Palpatine phase (cruel smile and scary eyes), but seeing Galadriel resist to him at the very beginning of their fight is absolutely no shocking. Of course she will do that, it was pretty much granted.

Now we can just wait and see 😎. I said my bit, now, sorry but I won't answer to any other ask of this nature. I don't intend to spend the week worrying about episode 8, or being certain that it will be bad.

Needless to say that if your first impulse reading this post is to insult me anonymously (or with your name, in case you're braver than the average), just.... don't. You'll waste your time and your energy, all for a post that will go straight into the Tumblr bin 💜

[thewertsearch]

Asks Comp - 16/4

I literally did not know The Baby Is You was a thing. To be welcomed back into the comic like this after four months is very on brand for Homestuck.

... and wow, its outro really does match the end of this song, doesn't it? That's even funnier than if he'd snuck some of Megalovania in there.

Ooh, that's another liveblog I'll want to check out when I'm done! I've never actually seen a Worm liveblog before. Adding it to the list myself!

Nothing's really changed since I've been gone! I make a conscious effort not to do much Homestuck analysis off-blog, since I want my journey to be fully documented here.

It's good to be back! I'm looking forward to a full reread when I'm done.

Would you believe I didn't even know there was a book?

I also didn't know the movie had two (allegedly) terrible sequels, which is very funny. Neverending story indeed.

Thank you! I can't take too much credit, though - most of my tagging system has been crowdsourced from askers!

At some point, before we reach the end of the comic, I'm going to have to formalize my approach to liveblogging Homestuck's side content.

What I'll probably do is give each of them the 'lite' treatment initially, but if they turn out to be more canonical than I thought, or particularly interesting to liveblog, I'll 'zoom in', and analyze them properly. We'll see how we go!

Could you imagine the relationship dynamics in your average troll soap opera? The shipping web for a single season would make our heads explode.

It's a fun question. What sort of object symbolizes everything?

The first thing I'd try would be a star chart, Dave's magnifier and a literal planetful of Grist.

Added to the list! Not until later later on, though - I'd worry that the opinions and theories of another liveblogger could interfere with my own, especially if they're talking about it with someone who's already read it!

I would find it hard to disagree.

Do people think Act 1 is pointless?

I mean, it is the slowest Act in terms of pacing, but slow pacing isn't always a bad thing. You sort of have to take it slow when your readers have this much to get to grips with.

...okay, maybe we didn't need quite as many Sylladex mishaps as we got. But we still needed some. Homestuck has a lot to introduce you to.

I always pictured an English accent for Hass - although, interestingly, I didn't picture one for Jade. As a headcanon, I like the NZ one better.

Where did Grandpa grow up again, actually? He was raised by Fake Mark Twain, who was from Missouri - but I don't have a clue what a Missouri accent sounds like, let alone one from a century ago. I have a funny feeling that it's not the accent I'm imagining coming from Jade.

Now that's a ship I'd never have seen coming. Props to Hussie for coming up with something more controversial than my Feferi<>Equius.

All four kids, with four endgame weapons, might be able to challenge Jack's current incarnation - but they're not going to get the chance. You've hit the nail on the head - he's semi-perfect Jack for a reason.

I have several theories for Jade's prototyping, and every single one of them would make Jack even more dangerous than before. It's just barely possible to challenge him now, but things will only get worse.

Read the room, Serket!

Would Vriska have tried to negotiate? She feels like the type of person who'd rather take a beating than admit they're outclassed. Plus, I'm not sure how much she'd have to offer Aradia, who seemed entirely motivated by revenge (and, possibly, secretly motivated by timeline stuff).

All that said, I would have loved to hear Vriska trying to worm her way out of this.

I love it! Please send in the completed house, if you get the chance. That's going to look so cool with a moving meteor.

And they're both easily distractible! This feels like two people who might actually get on surprisingly well, if they were in, say, the same high school class.

It's hard to say what's a rarepair, since I don't know what ships are rare in the fandom - although I'd have a few guesses about the most common ones.

If we're going for a ship with very tenuous connections, I will submit Rose x Feferi for your appraisal. They're both fans of the Noble Circle, and their signature colors are pretty close.

You know what, I'll just review all of your ships. Tavros/Gamzee - PB&J - is pretty cute. [] I'd recommend Miracle Child for a number of reasons, but it does include a well-written Gamtav. Jack/Droog is more <> to me than it is <3. Like One Sundered Star might be influencing that? I'm not really sure. Somewhere I think I saw a Jack<>Droog. Your pre-shipping chart post isn't in the chrono; also, I'm pretty sure the A6A6I5 ask is one of mine. Gamzee/Eridan is a rarepair; I've seen it, but not often, and it's a <> in the fic I'm referencing. Kanaya<>Terezi and Feferi<>Vriska are strange enough that I've never seen them anywhere, really. [] And finally, Vriska and Tavros. These two are the textbook example of why the ashen quadrant needs to exist, and they're a perfect pair for it. [] ~LOSS (8/1/23)

I don't even know if Carapacians have moirallegiance - but those two would definitely work if they did.

Out of all my ships you flagged as rare, I think my favorite is Feferi<>Vriska. I just think they'd gel weirdly well together!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I love your insights cause you seem like you have the wisdom of an 90 year old. Do you have any advice for a 30 something yo woman that struggles with deep anxiety and sadness even in *happy* times? (I was depressed when I started dating, than I was scared when I got engaged, I was so anxious to do a wedding that I didn't do anything me and my partner skipped right to planning a honeymoon trip, the next stage is having kids and i'm so scared). I don't want to go through life being sad over things that i want and should bring joy (because I do want them. It's just every little change for some reason gives me panic and nobody around me seem to get why even my husband..I have no clue why i'm so sensitive to changes and decision making) and the circle seem to be never ending..I did therapy and talked a lot with a therapist and i'm better, but the emotions and inner sadness still there. Sorry if it's too much info..I guess i'm hoping other women/girls/guys reading this might feel similar in life and have ways of coping? I feel like i'm the only person on the planet feeling like this and i'm scared admitting it to others (I share with them..but they don't really *see* the heavy-crying-vomit-feeling every second of the day so in the end it's just me)

***

Hi Anon 💜

What I can say to you is limited by how personal your ask is, how little I know about you and the subject (I really wouldn’t call myself wise), and how public my forum is. There’s undoubtedly a lot more you’re not saying (understandably), but I’ll try not to ramble in telling you what I think.

The fact you’re asking me this here despite already seeing someone far more qualified to give you advice (your therapist), tells me this is something that’s constantly on your mind, something that weighs on you so much you’d consider a random blogger’s opinion and that of her followers.

So I guess the first question is:

Why are you afraid?

Because that’s what anxiety essentially is. In my layman, unqualified BPP language, anxiety is being in a state of fear. And there's two reasons people could be afraid:

A good reason.

A not good reason.

And you get to decide which is which for you. Personally, the events you're describing sound like life-changing events, things with pretty profound implications not just for you but for people around you. And rather than see your fear about it as a malaise, I see it as perhaps a mild overreaction to recognizing the enormity of the implications.

But there could be more to it...

A - Sometimes, people experience something that legitimately warranted that state of fear in them, a traumatic or abusive event where fear was the only right response, an event (or series of events) that left an imprint on them. And their bodies and minds are subconsciously stuck in that state, and this could be for a whole host of reasons. This is also something that can lead to a lot of behaviours, like being afraid of change, constantly seeking comfort in what’s known and familiar, and fearing the unknown. In cases like this, psychotropic medication can help; as can therapy; journaling can help your mind work through your thoughts, help you remain present and not dissociate; improving your physical health to help your body recalibrate, etc.

B - Other times, this state is triggered by a purely physiological response and this can be due to an imbalance in your baseline. Meaning, (I’m sure the medical debate is still out on this one but) I think most people have a sort of physiological baseline for things like hormone levels (dopamine mostly), that’s oftentimes tied to several factors but including, notably, genetics. As an example, it’s been observed that people from tropical countries (or with recent ancestry including people from tropical countries) have a higher chance of suffering Seasonal Affective Disorder in winter months (so obviously after moving from tropical climates) than the general population. Meaning their genetic composition has a baseline that expects higher vitamin D levels, more natural sunlight etc, than the general population, and in the absence of these things, their bodies (and mental states) struggle to adjust without supplemental help. Supplemental help can look like vitamins, adjusting your diet to gain more of those nutrients/vitamins, nature lamps, spending more time outdoors. and in more drastic cases reconfiguring your work life to be more in-line with natural sunlight cycles.

It’s one reason frequent physical exercise helps the mental states so much for most people. How picking up a sport (like running or yoga) or spending time in the gym consistently improves mental health, helps them feel more confident and assured. Aside from the beneficial facts we all know, the reality is the sedentary lifestyle most people enjoy in the 21st century is an anomaly. Our bodies have evolved over millions of years in a way that required physical endurance, strength training, and constant movement to do very basic things: from eating, to hygiene, to even sleeping in a safe environment. I mean, the very act of washing your clothes required far more physical exertion until the invention of the washing machine in the 19th century. Cooking was a far more arduous exercise than putting something in the microwave, building heights were limited by how much people could walk and climb until we had escalators and elevators in the last century doing the work for us. Most of us are living in bodies that have a collective memory of doing far more work just to survive everyday life, that’s our physiological baseline, and yet we’re living in the most sedentary societies ever. That causes a physiological imbalance, and some people are more sensitive to that imbalance than others. The anxiety could be a signal that your body and mind recognize something is wrong or out of whack. One solution here is ratcheting up your physical movement, endurance, and strength, and typically that will help your body regulate the rest so long as you’re consistent.

C - Yet another reason some people remain in a state of fear, is that rather than a physiological imbalance being the culprit, it’s an imbalance in their sense of self. This is a bit more sensitive for me to get into, given I really don’t know you and I don’t want to hurt you unduly, but you’ve listed all these things you have going on for you in your life… are they things you actually want? What is it about your current state that terrifies you? Is there something about what you tell yourself internally or privately that you struggle to live out loud? Do you feel like you should be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else? Do you feel like you’ve actively chosen the life you have or do you feel like a passenger in your own life watching things happen to you?

Is there any consistency between your inner beliefs, values, and desires vs your outward actions and reality? Or is there dissonance? Because what dissonance can do, is trigger the signal that something is wrong and leave you paralyzed in a state of fear if you believe you have no tools to reverse course or power through. If any of these are true for you, there’s no shortcut to reaching a solution. You have to ask yourself why you feel this way. Is there another life or another person you’re comparing to? Are there societal expectations on you that are restrictive? You'll have to decide for yourself what living with personal integrity means for you, finding a way that aligns your inner beliefs (assuming its not rooted in trauma - see A) with your outward reality.

*

Like I said above, there's two reasons one could be afraid. For good reasons, it's best to honour that fear and do what is right and safe for you. And for not good reasons, the only solution is to power through that fear, over and over again. The more afraid you feel, the more you do it. You can choose to throw yourself into it, or seek support for ways to do that safely.

If perhaps you don't feel ready to have a baby you want because you feel inexperienced, lack the resources to fully care for the child, have misgivings about your partner etc, I’m going to go out on a limb here, and be prescriptive. I’m sorry in advance if this is pushing it. But I'd say these are good reasons to be afraid. I'd suggest you communicate these reasons to someone you trust (a therapist and perhaps someone you know), spend a bit more time in preparing financially because kids aren't cheap, invest in building your social support circle (this could include relatives and friends), start actively planning for your life with a new person in it, and this can include finding people who can support you even if your partner isn't in the picture for whatever reason.

If the reason you're hesitating to have a baby you want is because you fear the unknown, I'd again go out on a limb to say I don't believe this is a good reason. In this case, what you choose to do is up to you, but I suggest you embrace the adventure (after preparing as much as you can).

Recognize your fear, assess if it's for the right reasons and if so honour it, and adjust accordingly. If it's not for the right reasons, power through it to do what you actually want.

I rambled again but I wish you all the luck, Anon. 💜

[cluelessbees]

Okay….

A concept— Dash and Lily Byler AU (I posted a part 2-ish)

Idk if you guys have watched dash and lily but it’s a very cute season-long like cheesy Christmas romance. The whole premise is that Lily puts this book in a bookstore that Dash finds and they essentially communicate through the notebook. They don’t know each others identities but they have to do a dare in order for the other to answer their question.

Im like not explaining it well but it’s very cute 😭. So like I was wondering ….byler au 👀?

So now enjoy my take on their notebook entries to each other—

(For context this one is Will’s to Mike after Mike proposed being called Blue + Mike’s entry afterwards)

Idk if it’s any good but enjoy—

***

Blue huh? 

You really aren’t giving me any clues to your name? I guess you do really like the mystery aspect of this all.

I guess I’ll continue in the theme of colours. Call me yellow. Or…think of me as yellow. I don’t think yellow works as well as a name compare to Blue, but it’s my favourite colour.

It just feels warm….which feels sorta weird to say. How can a colour feel warm? 

I don’t know. It just- reminds me of sun and how it would tickle my skin when I would lay on the grass in the park with my family. It’s just one of those warm memories. Something I think about when I want to escape.

That’s- a really weird thing to admit to a boy I’ve never met. But it’s just easier to tell you these things I guess? You’re easy to talk to- or write to.

I’m sorry if I’m being weird. I hope I’m not scaring you away.

Because ….i like talking to you blue. I hope you like talking to me.

Anyways, enough about me. It’s time for your dare. 

You’ve mentioned never really being an artist, huh? I’m not buying it. I think you like being creative. You just hate showing it.

I’ve attached a drawing of a map to this art centre. Go to it. I’ve booked you for a 4pm painting lesson. Let me know what you draw.

Don’t focus on perfection just have fun, okay? 

Give the book to the instructor, tall guy with a weird mustache you’ll know what I mean when you see it.

From, 

Yellow (?) (i have no idea of yellow is working or not)

***

Dear Yellow,

I’ll have to admit- it doesn’t work as well as Blue, but that’s okay. I think I’ll continue calling you notebook boy. I like the mystery element behind it. You’re very mysterious to me. I cant help wanting to know more about you.

You do remind me of yellow though- the warmth that is. I don’t know how else to describe it you just seem like such a warm person. Which- is weird to admit because I don’t even know you but it’s true.

Also, you don’t have to worry about scaring me off. I’m far too intrigued in knowing who you are to be scared off by anything. 

And….I happen to like you too, Notebook Boy

(See notebook boy just works better)

Anyways, a finger painting class huh? Have to admit I did not expect that. You’re always filled with surprises.

At first I thought you were just being sadistic. Like- you wanted me to stain my hands as some sort of punishment for a previous dare. But- I have to admit it was fun getting messy.

And I managed to get a sweet finger painted rainbow out of it. I’m sure I can’t compete with the art you make. You’re probably the most talented artist I know (I’m aware I haven’t seen your art yet but I’m still right.) But I like it- I think. It’s a decent painting.

Scratch that my friend just asked me if it was made by my little sister— okay so maybe not decent, but I had fun. Maybe…I do like creativity. Although no one will know but you.

I hope I get to see your paintings someday.

For now, i leave you with a dare and a question. 

What’s your taste of music like, Notebook Boy?

Mine is a mixed of genres, but I thought it would be fun for you to try something new. You seem very reserved so…I’ve attached a ticket to a friends rock show. It’s for tomorrow at 9. He makes good music. I’ve always like the atmosphere of his gigs. They’re so loud and the energy just seeps through the veins. 

I hope you like it. 

Blue 

P.S. hand the book over to my friend at the end of the show! He’s the guitarist. Tell him Blue sent you. 

***

I have more if y'all want but yeah--- thoughts? (Part 2)

[justarandompersonxd]

All things for the ask game!!!!!

🎶 The Ultimate Music Ask Game! 🎶

1. Are you an albums person or a singles person?

Singles!

2. Do you still buy CDs (or other physical media)?

Sometimes, not always

3. Do you listen to more oldies or more current stuff?

Mix of both, but more current stuff

4. Is there a song you love but don't like its music video?

Ready for combat by icon for hire

5. Is there a song you don't like but like its music video?

Not just yet, though i like familair taste of poison by halestorm beyter with its music video then without. Same for 11 minutes by Yungblud

6. Who's an artist you really like but it's embarrassed to admit it?

NF

7. Would you wear a t-shirt of a band you're not into?

Nope

8. Is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like?

Cha cha cha and queen of kings

9. Do you have a favorite band?

Smash into pieces

10. Favorite solo artist?

NF and Cavetown

11. Favorite songwriter?

Ariel

12. Who’s the most obscure artist you listen to?

Im thinking Jason Waterfalls or OMD

13. Who’s the most popular/mainstream artist you listen to?

AJR

14. A song or album from the 50s or earlier:

No idea

15. A song or album from the 60s:

No id3a

16. A song or album from the 70s:

Organisation by OMD

17. A song or album from the 80s:

Electircitiy by OMD

18. A song or album from the 90s:

Enola Gay

19. A song or album from the 2000s:

The punishment of luxury

20. A song or album from the 2010s:

Locomotion

21. A song or album from this year or last year:

Bauhaus staircase

22. What’s your favorite song or album from the year you where born?

The OMD singles

23. Do you and your partner/best friend share a special song? One you’d call “our song”?

We have a whole playlist together :)

24. Do you play any instruments?

No :(

25. Is there a song you used to like but can’t listen to anymore because you associate it with someone you don’t like?

Yeah, empty by BoyInABand

26. Have you ever pretended to like an artist/song just to fit in or please somebody?

Nit exavtly

27. Do you enjoy making playlists? If so, are there any you’re proud of and would like to share?

I do, i make them for specific moods or instances

28. Have you ever made/got a mixtape as gift to/from a friend?

No

29. Songs you love to dance to:

Locomotion, Paracetamol and two trucks

30. Songs you love to sing along to:

Fishy love, paracetamol, locomotion, the search

31. Who’s your favorite fictional band or artist?

??

32. When was the last time you cried when listening to a song, if ever?

All of icon for hire at some point or another

33. Your favorite artist from your city/state/country?

Blackbriar

34. Your favorite song in your native language (if it isn’t English) OR in your second language (if English is your first):

Paracetamol and Dat heb jij gedaan (You did that)

35. A song you like in a language you don’t speak:

Sorale li luna

36. A song you like with lyrics in two or more languages:

Fokul Fen Mah

37. If you could travel in time and go to a concert of an artist who’s no longer alive or a band that’s no longer together, who would you choose?

Abba

38. Which was the first concert you went to?

Jeroen van der boom, when i was really young. He called me on stage too :))

39. Which was the last concert you went to?

Smash into pieces ^^

40. Which was the best concert you’ve ever been to?

Omd and Lord of The lost

41. Have you ever been to a music festival? If not, would you like to go?

I have, Dutch Valley and im not sure

42. Your favorite(s) “no skips” album(s):

You still cant kill us by icon for hire

43. Do you enjoy musicals? If so, what’s your favorite?

Not so much

44. Have you watched any musician’s biopics? Do you have a favorite?

No clue

45. A non-musical movie or show with a soundtrack you love:

Supernatural, every season finale thsy llay carry in wayward son and i lovs it

46. Do you like comedy songs? If so, do you have a favorite?

The entirwty of Lemon Demon. I lobe his music

47. Is there an artist you used to dislike but learned to like because of a friend’s influence?

Not dislike ler se. But i gained a new found allriciation for Rap music

48. Who’s an artist you think it’s criminally underrated and deserves more recognition?

Jason Waterfalls and Toehider

49. Is there a cover you like more than the original version?

Bad Romance, Halestorm

50. Is there an artist you used to love as a child/teenager but now is embarrassed to have ever liked?

Jeroen van der boom? I still like his music. But a lot of it is very cheesy to me now

51. Is there an artist you used to love as a child/teenager and still likes, even if you don’t listen to them as much?

Jerone van der boom!

52. Do you make playlists to be listened to in a specific order or in shuffle? Or both?

Shuffleeee

53. Is there a song you hated the first time you listened to but then loved after listening to it more times?

Ive leanrwd to love curse or cure by icon for hire

54. An album you loved since the first time you listened to:

New horizons by smahs intk pieces

55. An album you learned to love after listening to it again and again:

Smash into pieces by smash into pieces

56. A song/album/artist you wish you could forget so you could have the experience of hearing it for the first time again:

Bauhaus staircase. First tine i listened to was live and i wish i could go back and do it again

59. Do you listen to music when it's raining or do you stop to hear the sound of the rain?

Both

62. Artists/bands you think have an impeccable discography, with no bad albums:

Smash intk pieces

63. Do you prefer live recordings or studio recordings?

Live

65. Are there any songs you know the entire lyrics by heart?

A lot kf the songs by yungblud, smahs into pieces and icon for hire

66. Share your favorite playlists that you or someone else has made!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1qR1PUJ4nmodioLvCkPWZU?si=0jwFloo7TWyOu5dHMTb8Ug&pi=7s6jZgzqTGKij

Thank you for thw ask! @stephlastname . And im sorry ir took so lkng fjdjdn

[okimargarvez]

This time I want to make a short analysis of the "evolution" of garvez, considering Luke and Penelope as separate entities, during the seasons.

In Season 12 Luke is obviously the one most taken, already in love with her, while Penelope (in my opinion) is not at his level. She is probably smitten with him, she has a crush on him (probably since the first time). I think that Penelope doesn't let him in, she doesn't allowed herself to know him as a real person, she keeps him at distance.

Their relationship at the beggining is based on teasing, but is a mutual thing, Luke likes to tease her even more than Penelope. They also flirt a lot. A moment of change is the meeting with Roxy; the fact he has a dog helps a lot. She "uses" it to be a little friendlier with him, making gifs "for Roxy", but obviously also for him.

Their relationship evolved anyway (or better, despite her effort) from just coworkers to... something more, but "friends" is not the right word to describe them. They share two big and hard moments, both about Reid (ep 14 and ep 17). Even in this occasions you can see that Luke is the one who makes all, he tries everything to make her feel better, he cares a lot, he acts like she is his priority. He also makes a declaration (If I ever do become) that she tries to ignore.

But the moment that is the bigger proof of his love for her, is another (ep 11), almost invisible: when he is talking with Walker and Pen arrives, Luke feels/senses her presence, smiling and then he changes his mood because notices that she is not happy.

-

In Season 13 we have little clues about Luke feelings for her. He is worried for her and still cares a lot, especially when he discovers about Battle (ep 5). We have even in this season a "you're my priority" moment (ep 1), when Luke leaves JJ to run and console Penelope, crying before Walker body in the car.

But we can see a change in their relationship. Is the only one when she never calls him "Newbie". Their flirting and teasing almost stops. We have two moments of flirt (ep 3 and ep 11).

The reason is not only in the fact he meets Lisa and starts a story with her. Because the change is before this. You can see it in the first episodes, for example when they discuss with Spencer about "Lisa problem" or when he asks her "your cat has things?". They behave in a more comfortable way, both. You can see that he feels the same (strong love) for her, in little things. Like in the way he still looks at her or how easy Luke decides to stand by her, right in the "Linda problem" discussion.

And, even this one before Lisa, they shares a sweet and important moment: he asks her to help him with Lou and Phil. And in that they seem a couple, not friends, not just coworkers (ep 7).

You can see that her crush on his is increasing during her talk with Lisa. The way she talks, her faces, the embarrassment, the fact she want to point out that they are just coworkers (not even friends), and especially that he is not her type, despite she knows that others think he is funny, smart and "easy on the eyes". And the way she looks at Luke when he reaches them. Her smile.

Then Linda Barnes splits up the team. Luke thinks at her many times (ep 16), as he does when she is away, for the parole (ep 20). You can see that his feelings are still there, just for the way he reacts when she comes back at BAU (ep 16).

But is exactly in San Francisco that we see that Penelope finally admits her feelings for Luke, pausing just on their pic together, and with a so little smile (ep 20). I think that she is almost in love with him. So close to it. But she doesn't already reach his level.

-

In Season 14 they move forward in their relationship. They finally become friends. Penelope allows him to get close to her. But the teasing is still there, and also the flirt. My opinion (that I already shared many times) is that Lisa is like an armor, for Penelope. She knows that Luke is not a betrayal type and that she will never try to do something out of place with a busy man. So, she can finally be herself with him. For once without fears.

Even in this season we have a "you're my priority" moment (ep 1): when Penelope is kidnapped with Reid, Matt says she wasn't part of the plan, and Luke replies "no, but she is now". The way Luke looks at her when they come off the elevator...

His love is still strong and steady. Despite this, when he lives a hard moment (ep 6), when Phil is killed, he doesn't ask her help or support, but is clear that Penelope would have done everything for make him feel better.

Maybe for this, maybe not, but when she has to bear his presence and to work with him (ep 8), because he can't go on the field, she acts again as the queen of ice. She is distant, cold, she says she doesn't care about his opinion, she breaks down his enthusiasm about the "dynamic duo". But still calls him by his name.

And exactly in this episode, and after all her cool attitude, we see their first hug. And even a kiss on her cheek. It's a sweet sweet moment. The focus is not on them, because the party is about Rossi and Krystall engagement. But it's so important for their relationship. He stares at her hugging other persons and then asks, almost begs her to share the joy with him, and she gives him that honor.

We have a moment of big flirt (ep 14), before Rossi eyes, when he admits that she is great (only at work?), and she totally plays with him.

Then, right at the end of the season (ep 15), we can see again them as a couple, during Rossi and Krystall wedding. They don't just dance together, sharing the joy, no. They also shares a slow dance. Something really romantic, not just sweet. It's not a case that the other couples we see dancing it, are all canon ones and engaged (Rossy/Krystall, JJ/Will).

We can say that Luke loves in this season is steady and increases just a bit, while Penelope's almost reaches him. She is really in love with him, but there are anyway few bricks between them.

-

In Season 15 we have another change. At the beginning (ep 1), when Lisa ghost is still there, Penelope acts with him in a... friendly/warm way. They shares laughs and gazes, even if they seem more a couple than friends.

But, as we will discover almost at the end of the season, his relationship is not going well, in fact he doesn't mention her after ep 1. So, Penelope starts again to be a little cold. She calls him again Alvez. More she keeps him at distance and more his feelings increase. It seems impossible, but Luke love for her really grows during this season.

Penelope doesn't ask directly his help, but chooses him when she has to go on the field (Elizabeth apartment), and looks at him, clearly searching for his support, his approvation, all episode (ep 4). Her love for Luke increases because he is just so stubborn, and in that way he has finally the chance to show her he still wants to be the someone. She talks with him about her stalker, not so happy, but then, when she thanks him (it was very kind of you), it's clear that she is not so upset about her opening up to him, maybe the right opposite.

We don't have a "you are my proprity" moment in this season, or maybe yes, if we consider the last episode and her farewell party. But in this one is Luke that risks two times his life. And in both occasions she is so worried for him, more for the bomb (ep 3) that when they kidnapped him with Matt (ep 5).

After this, the flirt and teasing grows. We can guess (but we don't have hard proof) that is because he breaks up with Lisa. Anyway, the flirt becomes really shameless and the "fault" is more of Luke, than Pen. She calls him Newbie again (last time was 12x16), but he almost declares his thoughts on her, when he admits that he workships at her throne and she must know it (ep 7).

Right after this we see Luke tells to Spencer, Tara, Matt and Pen about his breaking with Lisa (ep 9). But he looks all time just at Pen. He watches carefully her reaction. And she seems... scared? Then it's her time to share something, that she is thinking to leave the team. Luke is the only one that smiles, and she asks if he wants to get rid of her. He hurries to say is not so, but also makes her understand how much he knows her, because Luke, since he met her, saw her many times upset, crying for their job. They share a sweet and so important moment, when she says they are family, looking at him, and he does the same.

Luke starts his courthisp, he gives to her and the girls milkshakes, but he chooses her favorite place. It's so clear that Penelope tells him "stop making me like you" and he, so smug, replies "never". During her farewell party (ep 10) he is even more unbashed. When she arrives, he gives her the glass he poured for himself, telling her that this is gonna be the first of many. And he will keep his word. He dances with her all night long, and when is not close, he keeps watching at her. When they are with others, he still find a way to stay close her. Then, he takes her aside and asks her out. Considering the way she replies, the amazement and then joy in her face, is so clear they feel the same for each other. The last (but not least) thing in this season, is their hug. The way he literally drowning in her arms.

-

Season 16 starts 3 years after last one. We have to take it into account. We can see, since the beginning (ep 1), that Luke has no intention to hide his feelings, still there, for her: the way he starts almost all their flirting moments, his kiss on her cheek to thank her. And also his jealousy, when she start to hung out with the wrong person.

This season starts with Luke love on the rise. Again, it seemed impossible, but is clear that, no matter we know that their date didn't work, he is so in love with her, so hopeless. It's canon.

He says they are friends and not frenemies, he doesn't want to be her enemy, he thinks that now he is more for her than the Newbie, the guy she has to hate. That's why he tells Tara he has no worry to let the "Garcia most hated" place to Tyler (ep 5). He will regret it.

But we have hints about their relationship, during the ride. Penelope thanks him to watch Sergio (ep 4) and here we have the only time (except for firs episode, when she teases him a lot) where she flirts with him first. She seems surprised when Luke tells that her idea is great, in his opinion. In this episode Luke shows all his support and approvation. He pushes her to talk with Emily, she doesn't want to, because her idea involves him. They arguing like a married couple. When Prentiss doesn't understand her idea, he explains it better. And when the boss shows her approvation too, Luke looks at her as to say "I told you" and she looks away almost immediately, shy. He believes in her idea more than her.

The ironical thing is that Luke will regret to push her to talk with Tyler. Because the dynamic between her and TG seems a copy (a draft, a bad copy) of their. Enemies to lovers. She can't stand him. He gives her a cat. She sees him in a bad moment, she wants to help him. And in this way, she crosses a line she shouldn't have. Luke starts to sense that there is something big going on in there really soon (ep 6). Just after her first kiss with TG.

She is so afraid, when the bomb explodes and they lose the contact with JJ and Luke. She says she regrets all the mean things she says. And, in my opinion, she regrets also to not have tell him enough good things. That she cares a lot about him (no matter in a friendly or romantic way). But then they find him, too soon, and she is so busy, with TG and the team coming back. She puts all her feeling in the hug, even if with JJ as third wheel. You can see that this time she doesn't want to come off his arms.

Anyway, she shares a hard talk with TG, maybe she feels understood, in a deep way, and TG too. That's why he tries to kiss her. She goes away, but then, she kisses him. And runs to BAU. The fact she knows something about TG sister, but that wasn't on her file, is too weird for Luke. This is the first hint. He will not stop wonder about it until he will crash on the harsh reality. His suspects grow when she doesn't tease him or reply in the same way to his provocation "is this all you could find?" (ep 8). He tells her: where is the snark? And then, when she laughs and tells him to be less hard on himself, he turns to Tara and says "she is gettin some". And is not happy at all.

Again, the situtation doesn't seem well-balanced, his love is stronger, so much that he wants to be her rock, no matter he is dying inside, seeing her so bad for another man. His reaction when she tells him who is the man she is seeing, is so hard (ep 9). Luke is good to refrain himself, but doesn't hide his jealousy and also his pain. He begs her to stop talking, he doesn't want to hear all the deatails about her sex with TG. I think that Luke noticed the traits in common between him and TG. And that makes the pain even stronger. Because he just wonders "why him and not me?".

We see their date. Penelope tells him that there is surely something between them, but "not like that". Luke doesn't agree, his expression says all. But he also doesn't reply. He seems so hopeless and so in love with her. When she tells him she is sure that their soulmates are outhere, he keeps looks at her and laugh, without happiness, asking right "where"? Because he knows he can't looking for his right one; he already found it and is right now before him.

During the years they shared a lot about emotional sphere. Their lack is on the physical one. We got 4 hugs, 2 kisses on the cheek (always by him) and touching (almost always for his initiative). My opinion (just a thought, that I had taking with a friend that doesn't watch CM) is that she could believe that his love for her is only for the way she is inside, for her sensitivity, for her geniality... That her charm comes just from it. Because Luke many times showed his admiration for her abilities. But never said something about her figure, not even "you're beautiful" in a friendly way. He made compliment on her body only with eyes. But is not enough, to beat her fears. While TG, with his attempt to kiss her, admits his attraction immediately. But Luke is in love with her completely. He is clearly attracted by her, but his focus is more on her inside, and that's good. This is a true and strong love. A flame that will keep burn.

Anyway, Tyler lies to her (ep 9) and she knows it. She walks in a worried way through the bullpen and Luke hears her and teases her. But she doesn't want to play and so he understands that he is about to find the truth. Finally. End of the agony. He pushes her to talk, she tries to run away and then she shares all. Too much. But we already considered it. The fact is that Tyler uses her text to pin Rossi, then gets a bullet by Sicarius. Emily sent her with Luke, JJ and Will to stop Tyler and find Rossi. And Luke decides to be her shoulder again. He consoles her on the jet. He tells her to stay with him, until she finds TG. He helps his rival and meawhile reassuring her.

Luke keeps his eye on her in the office (ep 10). He proposes to stay with her while JJ and Will goes on the field. Because he knows that there is too much at stake, between Rossi and TG situtation. And that she will need his support. And the moment comes. His behavior is so perfect, in that occasion, that something inside Pen unclocks. She starts talking about her feelings, her fears, the sensation that everything is going bad.

And he doesn't lie to her, not even a little white lie. Instead, he makes another big declaration: "Maybe if we lean on each other, we will find the strenght to get through this together". It's not "I'm here for you" but "I'm here for you and I know you are here for me". And the emphasis is, in this whole scene, right on the "us". She nods and they hug. It's the first time that Luke doesn't seem in paradise while he has her in his arms. He is too worried. She comes off and tells him that she wants to do this, because they need "us". He agrees. And then, she says "me and you". She seems scared by herself. She probably never thought she would have told him something like that. Luke echoes her. Then his love is black on white with his concern on the fact the tea he took her is hot.

Anyway, this is the first time Penelope accepts to show her vulnerability with Luke. But, despite the fact she wants to be always the shoulder to cry on for others, she will never do it when the problem is hers. She doesn't ask help. Not even with Derek. Think about the post Battle situation (ep 3x10). Morgan wanted to be there for here, but she sent him away. This behavior is reflected even on her romantic relationships. For me, it's the reason why she refused Kevin proposal and ran away from Shane. We think that Luke has commitment issues, but in my opinion even Penelope does.

And, for me, Penelope is scared by her own feeling for Luke. Because she didn't want to let him in, and he did it anyway. She can't keep believe that he doesn't feel anything for her, after the date. Luke tells her that she knows how to pick them and is so true. She always (almost, Sam is out of the list) chosen the wrong one. Luke is so different from her usual boyfriend. He is a good guy. Even Morgan told her so. And her problem is that he cares too much about her. He always wants to be her hero, her rock, and he did it, no matter her effort to not let him. While TG is life-threating, she must know that Luke has at least still a crush on her, so his so not selfish behavior confuses her. And that’s why she finally shows her fragility and also, this is even more important, accepts his support. She doesn’t just allow him to help her, she wants it. And, meanwhile, she also finally looks at him like a real man. A man that could have romantic intention on her. They keep the “us/me and you” thing along the episode. They come off the elevator hugging each other. And, after the funeral, they are aside, he pours a glass of wine for both, then asks her how she is going and, finally, she just tells him the truth. He tries a joke to make her feel better, then, it happens. They shared a “you really know me” moment. He reads her mind and immediately recognizes Dickens quote. The way she looks at him is a clear sign of her love. And Luke is on the same way. He is so shy when tells her he just knows the quote. Why he knows? We know. And maybe Penelope is about to understand it.

-

About the next season… if they want to make them relationship grow, they have to explore more the physical sphere and to exchange the roles. We need to see Luke’s vulnerability and Pen consoling, helping him. She would have already done it (14x6), so I’m sure she will.

Like the others, I would have liked to see them together before, but the fact their bond growing season by season, in a slow way, it’s not a bad thing, for me. It makes it stronger. With deep roots.

Dedicated to @darcyfangirlsfrequently @thinitta @veronicafiore88

All my ramblings

[nuagederose]

As the Seasons Grey | Chapter Forty-Nine: To Know Him is to Love Him

ao3 link

Dear Alex,

This has been a long time coming.

At first, I admit that I had no idea as to how to bring this whole entire thing together. There's so much that I want to say to you, and there's so much that I want to hide from you as well because I have no clue as to how you're going to react to it.

I'm in the gray. I find myself further in the gray as time passes on by me. I find myself in the gray and I don't know how to act, so I'm just going to tell you the truth. This is all jumbled together by my own ramblings and missteps in my journal entires as well as things that Nelly and I have conversed with one another.

Nelly has been pushing me and pushing me to tell you about this, so... here it goes.

When I was a kid, I knew a boy named Chris Pereira—another Jewish boy! He was my best friend. My crush, actually. We met when we were in kindergarten and when we were thirteen, I was going to confess my love to him. He actually looked just like you, except he had dark eyes instead of light ones, and he was a lot rounder, too. He was killed in a rollover car accident up by Lake Placid, like a day before I was going to tell him the truth.

The truth. Ah, the truth.

I mention Chris because he feels like a phantom at this point. A ghost who returned to me to haunt me with a different name and a few decades older. A ghost who seems trapped and alone. A ghost who looked at me dead in the eyes and found the one whom he left behind seventeen, going on eighteen years now.

A ghost named Alex Skolnick.

I apologize in advance, Alex. I've been lying to you this whole time. In fact, I lied to a lot of people. I lied to Nelly, Eric, and Valentina. Most of all, I've been lying to myself. I made it seem as though I have forgotten everything about Chris and most of what happened thereafter, as well as the years leading up to the accident, but the truth still haunts me, even after nearly twenty years. There's a lot of Chris that I do actually remember: the problem holding me back is I just don't know how I'm even going to say it, especially to you. The truth is ugly, and I've been a loss for words all this time because what happened to my body has all but crippled my confidence. I actually don't remember most of my twenties, if you can believe that.

I lie to protect, both you and myself. It's time to take the wool off all of our eyes now, including my own. Depression and anorexia will do that to a person, after all.

This is honestly sickening to think about. I can't believe that I'm willing to wedge myself between you and her. I can't believe that I actually did. I can't believe I still am between the two of you as the months go by. Worse, I know in my heart that I can help it. But I choose not to restrain myself. I choose not to help myself. I choose not to restrain myself. I don't ever want to restrain myself, especially when you are around.

I love you, Alex. I love you. I don't ever want to lose you. I love you so much that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love you so much that there's a part of me that wants to snap your neck.

My parents went through that when they were together. They'd get drunk and high, but I was always away from it, though. But I knew what was up. I lied about my home life growing up with Chris and all our friends because I didn't want them to know what I knew about them. This pattern has carried on into adulthood.

My desire is to see you happy, but I know for a damn, cold hard fact that you aren't happy. It's why you spent the entire budget of a wedding on me back in March. I know what you want, and it's not her.

Forgive me if I sound cold, but like I said, the truth is ugly. I don't want to be this way, I don't like being cold and angry and mean because it's not who I am. I'm just a girl who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and there have been tricks along the way that I brought with me into my thirties. I wish I could come to terms with myself because I know that you are most definitely up to terms with yourself. But then again, I wonder just how much of that is the case with you. I mean, you are with me: no properly adjusted person would seek out another body when they have everything they want and could ever ask for in their arms.

There are moments where I think about that one project you talked about with me some months ago, a world music thing. You had such a joy in your eyes, an innocence, this boyish quality, and it reminded me so much of Chris. In fact, for a split second, I thought for sure that you had become Chris.

And I just wonder what else is going to make you feel that way.

When Chris and I first met, I wore these padded flannel dresses, and my favorite was a red one. I loved wearing them because they kept me warm against the harsh winters here, but they were short enough that he and I could ride our bikes together down to Brighton and we could play together. I remember the day—the day, the very day—that he told me he loved that dress on me because I could me in it.

I just wonder what's going to give you and me both that sense of harmony and genuine love between us, without my own demons and without the one who haunts you on a regular basis such that you have to drink to forget about her for a while, and then you have to hold back your own long beautiful hair while you vomit. I want to remember: I don't know about you but I myself want to remember. I want to remember where I came from, and I want to remember why I hid the truth for so long, and not just because “I was ashamed of my parents” growing up.

And I want you to remember the last time you were truly happy, before her and most of all, before me.

Courses are going to get harder next year, and my hope is that whatever you choose to teach is a proper fitting. Your happiness is my happiness. I hate seeing you cry, and the thought of you being in her arms when I have seen the way that she treats you makes me want to puke my guts out.

When I remember what brings me to peace and makes me tell the truth, and when you remember your own happiness and makes you tell the truth, that will be the day that we escape into the night together.

The only hope after that is I hope the car doesn't catch fire after that.

All my love from my own broken heart and my own nauseated stomach,

Christine Elizabeth Peck

P.S., there's a big part of me that wants to get you so plump and round. I want that chubby little belly of yours to grow until it's the size of a large watermelon, all because you're so warm and so soft there. I know, obesity isn't healthy, but you look really sexy with it.

Christine set her pen down. It had been an entire spring term in the making as she leaned back in her chair. The letter haunted her there from the desk top for weeks on end, day in and day out as she went off to school. It was like that one assignment she did for a class that she perpetually ignored in the hopes that it would do itself, but she had to address it at some point.

Her hand shook and quivered from the feeling of the pen in her hand: she had decided on pen given the sincerity, but she still had her worries about it and how he was going to react to it.

She lifted her gaze from the desk, one last time, out to the trees outside and the way that the green leaves and light little flowers on the trees shone in the morning sunshine. A long, hard, and cruel winter that persisted all the way past her birthday into the first days of May, and everything only just started to bloom with the incoming springtime.

Christine closed her eyes and sighed through her nose. All of that out on paper made it seem as though a dead weight had come clean off her shoulders, and she could be at peace.

That is, until a knock on the front door jarred her attention.

“It's open!” she called out as she scrambled to her feet. Somewhere in her apartment was a red envelope saved especially for that letter, and yet she had very little time to find it. She skidded into her living room right as Eric stepped inside with his backpack hoisted over his shoulder.

“Hang tight, I just... have to find this one thing,” she told him, out of breath. She adjusted the pearl choker around her neck to better breathe as she came into the kitchen. “Ah! Here it is.”

She picked up the envelope, already addressed to Alex, from on top of the coffee maker, and then she returned to her bedroom for the letter. A whole two pages written on ivory white paper accompanied with the scent of peppermint: she closed the envelope with a green sticker, the same green as her coat.

“Christine, are you ready?” Eric called out to her with a slight tone of worry to his voice.

“Just about, yeah—let me grab my purse, my phone, my water bottle...” She tucked the letter into her purse for a second as she hauled her luggage out to him as he held the door for her. Once she closed the door behind her and locked it, they walked on down the hallway together.

“My mom's up in Albany right now for the next couple of weeks,” she told him as they walked down the stairs. “I promised to call her when we get there.”

“How's your dad doing, by the way? I know he got ejected from the hospital over the winter and then we didn't hear anything after that.”

“He's doing quite a bit better,” she replied as they reached the mailboxes right before the front door. Without even thinking twice about it, she dropped the red letter into the outgoing box on the far left. And without thinking twice about it, Eric once again held the door for her. “Not a hundred percent, but definitely better than he used to be. The nurses don't really want anyone to visit for a while, at least not until he's got some mental clarity.”

“I see.”

The sun shone down on them as they loaded up his car and climbed inside. Once Christine buckled herself in, she put on her sunglasses and she spotted a small bouquet of white lilies in the backseat.

Even in Eric's car, she almost felt like a thief of the night, especially with the pearl choker around her neck and one of the new lacy blouses that Alex had given her for her birthday. He fired things up and they rolled down the block to the next turn. He flashed a wave to Louie and Greg, both of whom congregated on the street corner together.

“Those two are going out to Nashville for a couple of months starting tomorrow,” Eric explained as they turned the corner. “Fantasy camp.”

“Ooh, how fun!”

They reached the next block up, and he merged over to the right, and her heart skipped a few beats.

“Our flight doesn't leave until three, so... you know,” he replied with a flash of a wink to her. He hung a right, just prior to the underpass of the Long Island Turnpike, and the memory of that night with Nelly flashed into her mind.

“Oh, I see what you're doing,” Christine said with another brief glimpse back to the lilies in the backseat. They once again made that hundred mile trek through the cozy neighborhoods and the long low buildings and lush parks on either side of the turnpike. As they progressed through Long Island, everything became more lush and more remote, and she knew they were nearing that Jewish cemetery, right across the street from the plant nursery.

“Here we are,” he said, and he pulled over to the right, to the patch of pale dirt before the wrought iron gates, which appeared to be hanging wide open once more, just like on that night.

“Would you like me to join you?” he offered her as he switched off the car.

“Nah, I think I got it. Thank you, though.”

Christine climbed out of the car, and she left the door open part of the way. She brought the lilies out from the backseat, and she walked on up to the gates. Though it was springtime, a cool breeze over the graveyard sent a chill up her spine.

She recognized that little tree by the tombstone even from the gates, and she walked towards it, surrounded by complete silence.

She thought about the letter to Alex, and she hoped that he would understand once they returned from California.

The edge of the stone still had a bit of a sheen to it as she knelt down before it, and she rested the lilies right at the base. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to the engraving of Chris' name there.

“I'll be back before you know it,” she whispered to the tombstone. Christine stood to her feet and walked on back to Eric, who awaited her with a small, but thoughtful smile on his face. She knew that Chris would be waiting for her once they returned from the West Coast.

And she knew that Alex would be waiting for her once she returned home as well.

*****************

onwards to book two (Dark Roots of Earth) now! l'shanah tovah, happy Rosh Hashanah!