#personal vent blah blah
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Growing up in a human society and world, now you're an adult but you feel a sense of loss because you never grew up as yourself, as your 'type. Nostalgic for something you never had, sense of sadness for a childhood you never got to experience
#⸻🖤txt.#⸻🌿coyote.talk.txt#species dysphoria#im kinda sad on this one sorry y'all#been a long day and im trying to sleep and this kinda hits oof#vent#probably#personal vent blah blah
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don’t you feel guilty? / you shouldn’t be here / why should you be happy? / you don’t deserve it / what good are you? / you’re better off dead / doesn’t it eat at you? / you’re living on borrowed time
#weirdcore#dreamcore#dereality#unreality#my edit#unorcadox#liminal#liminal spaces#nostalgiacore#y2kcore#old web#uo vent#edit: the funny meme saying ''pls stop'' how do i tell you this one is extremely personal in a way i can't talk about lol#it's my fault for posting it but like blah whatever
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craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#bpd vent#bpd mood#girl you can't just do this every time you want to talk to someone and they don't read your mind and text you#how to explain to people that i am not just insane in love relationships i'm insane about everyone i know and they are not an exception#baby i have wild and insane platonic abandonment issues too (friends with that guy again but we will absolutely never be as close as before)#codependent best friendship where other person gets pissy and decides not to be my friend all the time#losing my best friend over and over#sometiems bc i was being a bitch but sometimes bc i shared too much about my mental health or said the wrong thing#never knowing what the emotional support threshold is or what the new wrong thing could be#and i was insane and way too attached like codependence has such a nasty side when it's not mutual anymore#and i'm WORKING ON SHIT and taking my favorite people off their pedestals and blah blah blah#anyway guess that still has me fucked up
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my therapist basically assigned me the task of "play a video game" like, five months ago, and im proud to announce that today i have finally removed my switch from the charger and am now doing what i usually do, but with the switch here as well
#hes keeping me company#its more nuanced than that but like#blah blah blah do things that are fun and relaxing and not tied to productivity or self value#blah blah blah self care#blah blah blah engage in hobbies#etc etc etc#which i am simply Not Good At#vent#personal#txt posts
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honestly i do this to myself
#watashi#vent comic#i need to stop doing polls fr like i want honesty but take it waaaay too personally#LIKE ITS OKAY!!! IM THE PROBLEM !!! i'm not strong enough#i need to feel wanted or im useless blah blah blah
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It's honestly depressing how quickly and easily your (abled) family and friends will leave you behind and forget about you when you can no longer push yourself to try to keep up with them. I hate how focused everything is on going out and doing things when it comes to hanging out with so many people. It's sad how many people would rather just continue on with their busy, typical/abled life and forget about the disabled people in their life, rather than stop and slow down with them once in a while.
#personal vent blah#disabled#physically disabled#chronically ill#chronic disability#chronic illness#disabilities#mentally disabled#mental disability#spoonie#I've lost so many people to this#or feel like might as well have#the family i have left went off and got closer and moved in together and continued on without us#literally#already nearly had but during the pandemic#and since#since we've taken covid horribly strictly serious since day 1#and they all just continued on together#basically just got busy and stopped talking for almost 2 years#and after a brief change it’s right back to it#this is part of other issues also#but this is a big factor here#that applies to most people we have known
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no i actually dont have the ability to be suicidal and go to a fucking hospital or ask for help. im either fine or im already attempting and theres no in between
#rigormortisangel#blah blah blah disclaimer that you should go to a psych ward if ur suicidal im not making fun of you or judging you im venting on my blog#tw sui#bpd#black and white thinking#bpd stuff#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd safe#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#vent
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CW ⚠️‼️ MEDICAL TALK AND ANIMAL LOSS
Y’all have been very supportive and caring so I’m giving another update.
My mom is back from emergency surgery and though it’s very painful, she is recovering and I’m taking care of her. We’ve really supprting each other through these hurdles and if nothing else, I can say these things have made us closer and it makes feel better about the future.
Secondly, my puppy is here another night. In a few hours, we’ll be taking her to vet to see what her fate is. I’m growing a bit of hope in my heart that this is some underlying treatable cause, but I know it’s likely just old age. It’s 4:14 as I type this and her appointment is at 8:50. I’ve been staying up all night cuddling and taking some last photos. I’m only just now getting a break to post this and bathe. Thank you for the support y’all. This is about to be a hard day and I hope to be looked after.
#op is a proshipper#proshipper safe#proshippers please interact#personal vent#personal blah blah#personal blog#personal#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#vent in tags#tw 3d vent#cw vent#vent post#vent blog#vent#vent art#pet death#animal loss#animal death#pet loss#emotional#hard times#hard thoughts#proshippers are welcome#princessdumpling
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😔.
#having a difficult night for a variety of reasons feeling like an inherently bad person who’s never gonna get any better blah blah#mac.txt#vent post
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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i'm positive sso fans would go so far if they would stop acting like the characters were real people and not like. dolls created to add to a story. like sabine is not real, she's not "diverse," she's a classic villain trope that's harmful to the exact type of woman you're so weird about, and they're using your attachment to this white-girl-gay-bait woman to ramp up your interest in sso and play more of it and if they play their cards right sell you more shit, even if sse has "good intentions" this ends up being the outcome. and you're falling for it
#i know i know another post about the exact same thing once again but i never stop seeing it#i had the same thing w chiyo like no this is not diversity they will use this to sell more shit that is exactly profiting from racism#once more disclaimer villains can be diverse blah blah depends on how you write them blah blah use common sense blah blah#also gain of salt this. 'you' is not at any one specific person#im just venting
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I really need people to understand that 'I'm done coddling men' and 'I hate you for being a man' are not the same thing.
I can be done with offering my emotional energy to individual men while also simply not blaming them for everything the patriarchy has done to society.
One is an individual choice for my life and the other is a result of social conditioning.
#nuance is dead#I'm not going to hate my guy friends for being dudes#I love my guy friends because they're my friends#and I love my dad for being my dad#I also don't have to allocate any more of my energy trying to date in the current climate#or entertaining random men and their entitlement to my body#it goes back to my white ass will never take offense to hearing 'FUCK WHITE PEOPLE'#cause I fucking GET it#-and yeah I do need dudes to look at individual complaints of abuse and not take it personally cause 'not all men' will always make me SIGH#just like I need people to stop blaming men as a whole for all the world's woes#-and the weird 'purity' culture around women seeped in radfem rhetoric#cause fuck that shit#women and wlw relationships aren't inherently pure and perfect#blah blah it's a nuanced topic and this is a vent post#shut up Ash
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hey bad news you guys. my therapist told me today that he thinks i should actually be sad on main MORE.
#something abt practicing emotional vulnerability for the real world with real people and blah blah blah#we discussed tm(n)t for a while#he said Be Like Nerves#i think this can be interpreted in many ways#but what he meant was just write shit and post it sometimes#instead of needing to make everything into an elaborate art piece#anyway sorry guys you're all a part of my trauma therapy process now#vent#personal#look im being emotionally vulnerable#^ thats the tag im gonna use lmao coz i think its funny
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for the love of fuck can someone make a reddit stories youtube that like, skips over stories that demonize personality disorders please. or any mental illness. fuck knows how many times ive had to leave a video bc they started going on abt "narc/borderline abuse" or demonizing some other pd
#tw ableism#im so fucking agitated about this i just want my fucking background noise!!!!#i dont want to hear people calling me a monster over my disorders tyvm#usually specifically a and b get targeted but ive seen some shit about c too. and others blah blah#this shit is a trauma response dont slap it onto everybody you dont like.#🌱 vents#personality disorder#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#mental illness#mental health
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FUCK this glitchy/flashy/shaky/static effects trend that every person who makes any sort of media is getting into and putting everywhere without any trigger warnings whatsoever!
You are making it impossible for people like me with seizure, vision, photosensitivity, etc issues to engage with any media (especially videos and/or reels taking over) AT ALL!
So tired of it, fuck the ads everywhere (even here now!), fuck the reels taking over, fuck this flashy effects trend, fuck it all.
Sincerely, someone with severe vision, photosensitivity, and seizure issues, who is being forced away from every form of media for the sake of their own health.
#personal vent blah#fuck social media#photosensitivity#photosensitive epilepsy#epilepsy#seizure disorder#strabismus#vision problems#disability awareness#people who make media please start using warnings
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☕️ + the Scooby Doo fandom in general
Hmm okay so this is a very broad question to me and that really means it's going to recieve a broad answer, especially to me as "Scooby fandom" really has differing levels in my heart etc.
For example with my friends and the smallish community of fellow Scooby fans I've found here on tumblr (the Scooby Dootuals!!!) I really love and like! Everybody is so nice and it's cool that people have various levels of knowledge about different series and iterations. Like I really enjoy that on here Scooby fans (as in, like my friends and people who regularly post scooby) have such differing levels of experience with this huge huge franchise as it makes it so much more interesting. Like we have people out there who have seen almost every episode (or feels like it) and can seemingly remember the smallest of things from them, and then we have people who weren't into Scooby as a child but are exploring it now, and then we've got people (like me) who did like it as a child and kind of know a bit of everything, with huge areas of weakness in Scooby they haven't seen, (for me APNSD, anything more than the premise of 13 Ghosts, the 80s trio minus Boo Brothers, anything past s1 of bcsd, much of the 70s era movies, SD & SD, Guess Who, SDMI details, like the list goes on, people!!! I've only seen a Scooby series in order in its entirety one time in my life and that was SDMI age like 12) while also having a few areas with greater knowledge or familiarity and a few spots where they just know a ton/are constantly rewatching. (Me with Goes Hollywood for sure) anyways I don't really remember where I was going with this but uhhh I like that my buddies and whatnot all know different amounts with many being chill or knowing a little bit of everything so we can still like each others posts and talk about Scooby with there still always being so much more to discover <3. So like basically thoughts on the besties are that besties are cool
However I know anon that by sending this you likely mean "Scooby fandom" as in people outside of this insular little bubble so let's talk about that. I think I'm reluctant to really label this group "Scooby fandom" as for ME PERSONALLY fandom really means a kind of engagement with the work beyond what most general Scooby fans do. Like what I'm trying to say is that this group of "wider Scooby fandom" liked Scooby and watched it as a child and consider themselves a fan of Scooby but they aren't rotating Scooby characters like blorbos in their mind too much. Or if they are, it's generally in the creation of like dark!Scooby aus or the live action Scooby show pitches that blow up on here every time Scooby is a topic of general coversation. I guess for me personally the line between this "Scooby fandom" and my own little bubble of people I'm chill with gets drawn based on what fans want out of Scooby. Like do they love Scooby as it is, or do they want to change the audience to create a new Scooby for themselves. Hm, I'm not really phrasing this right. What I mean is like we're all Scooby fans. If you've ever liked Scooby, at any age, however long ago, you're a Scooby fan, I'm not trying to like, gatekeep Scooby fandom or whatever. I just think that differing groups of fans have different pictures in their head of both what Scooby Doo IS and what they want from it based on their familiarity with it and how long it's been since said fan has watched Scooby.
And that's kind of wherein my frustration with "wider scooby fandom" lies. It's really in the fact that there's thousands upon thousands of these "sleeper fans" (which in my mind is really a better term for it) who awake when I or the popular culture mention Scooby, to share their opinions. And these opinions just frankly drive me up the wall. This is because when confronted with a real life Scooby fan (me) there's generally 3 things they want to talk about: 1) SDMI and how it's the greatest thing since sliced bread 2) Doesn't HBO Velma suck 3) (once they learn I like Scrappy) Scrappy hatred and copious references to his portrayal in the Gunn Movies. Plus MAYBE a bonus 4 of other miscellaneous takes that get on my nerves (stuff like Shaggy always smoking weed, Fred and Daphne splitting up together to have sex, just all sorts of things I do not for the life of me want to talk about).
So I guess my take on the wider scooby fandom is as follows: there are positives like some genuinely funny SD posts once a blue moon, or people to share things like concept art and leaks to much of the content canceled by HBO Max, but the vast vast majority of the time it kind of gets on my nerves because people always want to talk about the same few things (which I feel have been talked to death already or I highly disagree with OR BOTH) and it's just really tiring to deal with. Idk I don't think I'm going to go into it to much more here because this post isn't too coherent to begin with (I'm blaming it on like 70% of this being written before work this morning) but there's so many people out there who think so similarly about Scooby (and SO differently from how I think about it) that it feels like I'm getting talked over constantly whenever I have a discussion about Scooby with someone from this group. And that's just like not fun for me? It's just like for me, Scooby Doo is my number one thing. Like I'll be in different fandoms concurrently or whatever and I don't really read fic for scooby but I will for other stuff etc. But like scooby is always there for me like MY MAIN turned into a scooby doo blog like honestly while that's just not the case for some other people. It's very much a difference in the value and time put into the franchise, (which like you can just like things casually that's not a bad thing) it's just that it's frustrating for me talking to sleeper fans about Scooby because I get trapped (literally, like irl) in the exact same conversation that I don't even want to be having(!!!!!) pretty much all the time.
#this is very disjointed and not cohesive AT ALL but thats fine#basically my brutally honest opinion: talking to the typical scooby fan gets on my nerves bc they only want to talk about the same 3 things#and i disagree with them on all of them#blah#scooby doo#answered#anonymous#actually this is kind of negative so i should probably tag that#vent#negativity#also feel free to keep sending me these asks like youve been doing (and also the ship ones too with scooby stuff bc ill talk about that as#well) i just may or may not answer some of the more negative prompts because im a very optimistic happy person and ive already met my quota#of negativity for the day and am tired now but like if you really wanna know anyways ask and i may get to it
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