#perfect characters aren't interesting
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^ person who wants to enjoy Ford Pines without worrying about his morality for five seconds.
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#fandom#let's be clear that i am on his side on most things#but the point is#i don't wanna feel like i have to take a side#i prefer ford over stan and that shouldn't sound as controversial as it does#morality police made liking characters a chore#cuz now you have to 'justify' your love for a character#especially if they're so-called 'problematic' in any way shape or form#'problematic'? yeah they're that way to push the plot forward#perfect characters aren't interesting#but if your fave character is flawed in the 'wrong' way then welp#then you have to bow down to the golden child in apology in order to escape the wrath of liking the wrong character more#rambling in the tags
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Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.
Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.
Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.
Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).
It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.
The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.
A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.
Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.
The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.
It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).
This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.
To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.
Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.
They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).
In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.
#Their relationship is probably my favorite one in this story but there is literally so much going on. Hard to introduce it properly#This doesn't even get into all of it#Do want to make it clear that Brakul is like. Nice on an interpersonal level but he fucking sucks and is not the victim in this dynamic#He's very selfish. He builds his life around having his cake and eating it too and then moping and being sad and etc when he can't#escape the consequences of hurting people around him#I don't like writing dynamics where one person is like the absolute perfect innocent victim like. Hibrides does some just plain#cruel shit to him. But she's REALLY going through it. She's isolated and lonely and the only person in her life who has loved#her in the past decade won't put his own personal interests aside to actually Help Her. And then has the audacity to mope to her about#how sad that makes him.#He at least has a (fucked up and messy but) devoted partnership with a guy who ADORES him and perpetually enables him#While Hibrides is very shy and finds it hard to break out of isolation. She doesn't really have anyone to rely on.#She does have other people in her life in general though. Faiza has always been pretty kind to her and was a major support in#helping her manage her children's affairs and being provided for. But they aren't really friends it's kind of a familial obligation#Couya had been an enigma to her and rarely present (because she hates Janeys) but she's forced to be around him more#towards the start of the story and thus has started to actually interact with Hibrides. They befriend each other and have stuff going#on during the story#hibrides uryashta#brakul red dog#Anyway extreme side note I did warn that there would be like a dozen characters with Erub_ names as well as two major cities and a river#It gets like that with legendary founder figures
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an edek themed collage 🪲
#not me posting this just to have an excuse to talk about him more aaahahhhah#i've created edek approx 4 years ago and since then he went through little to no design changes#he is jus flawless. perfect#his personality however.. oof#i mean !!! he's not a bad guy#as i mentioned before he's very friendly and open to new people and opportunities#its just. he was based on my (now) ex best friend#me and that friend were close during primary school and despite me moving cities we managed to keep this friendship going#but you know. it wasnt the same. it became long distance#and i think i manifested my longing by creating an oc that was based on his aesthetics and personality#it took me some time to realise that i've been viewing this friend through lens of this oc. that of course lead to idealisation#because he wasn't physically there with me i created an imaginary version of him in my head#it was also because at this point we were getting older and slowly growing apart#and i think i wanted to grasp a little part of him that would still understand me#edek's relationship with ryba was also heavily influenced by this relationship#and. well. the things that my ex friend and edek have in common are short temper (despite acting chill) and trouble showing affection#he also tends to say things faster than he can even think them through#oh and he enjoys long walks through the woods and mountain hiking and bicycling and bugs and mushrooms and. yeah#and the other traits!!!!#he is suuuuuuper protective of his loved ones especially his younger sister irenka#his interest include everything thats fantasy and with folklore themes#hes also a stoner lol#aaand a funfact - he and zbyszek (of dycha za zbycha!!!!) used to be friends in childhood but they aren't friends as of now#why you might ask? from edek's pov zbyszek and his family just randomly disappeared#and edek was the only one that wasn't in on the fact that they have moved to the usa#edek wondered why his best friend at that time didn't tell him such important news#and often thought that there mustve been something wrong with him or zbyszek didn't actually like him that much#this incident heeeavily influenced his perception of relationships in the future#OH AND ALSOO hes an artist he graduated art hs with a degree in graphic design and is in college for the same thing#original character
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I know I just finished saying I like this fandom, but. We definitely still have our full quota of subtle fandom misogyny.
For example, the internet's two ~favorite~ characters are Astarion and Karlach, supposedly. But start a conversation about Astarion, and get six thousand pages of gushing essays about his trauma and his perspective and the subtle contradictions in his behavior and a universal acknowledgement that the way he sees the world is warped by his experiences and his perspective and what that means for him and endless pondering about what sex means for him and what violence means for him and when his decisions are right and when they're irrational and how he'd react to things and what he really means when he says or does this and and and and and....
Start a conversation about Karlach, who has every single bit of that complexity, and the best you'll get is "Muscle Mommy Hot 🥵💦" and the worst you'll get is "I've somehow taken every single word Karlach says in this game completely at face value and yet I confidently believe that you're the one who is wrong about her for thinking she has a shred of development or depth."
The default majority take on Karlach, in this game where she is the only ace-friendly romance option, is that she's the horniest character on the team. The default majority take on Karlach, in this game that is about trauma, and helping your companions not do stupid things because of the warped perspectives left by their trauma, is that when she says she'd rather die than go back to Avernus that's a simple, rational, informed, healthy judgement that should not be questioned. The default majority take on Karlach, in this game about murderers saving the world, is that she's a cinnamon roll who's never done anything wrong. The default majority take is that Karlach's entire character begins and ends with the things that she says to your face.
And then that same majority will turn around and write fifteen hundred words about how Astarion's fear is driving his desperation about Ascension at the drop of a hat, and not even notice the discrepancy.
And you know what? I do genuinely believe that people like Karlach. We've come a long way from the days of ATG fantasy where every single female character was a bitch or a harpy or a Mary Sue or a boring doormat getting in the way of the sexy white boys we were actually here for. We can be enthusiastic about them and say nice things and genuinely enjoy having them around. We can actually like them! It's just that "liking" a female character and "liking" a male character are still. Apparently. Very different things.
#really i should be the change i wish to see and write ungodly piles of karlach meta#but again no one actually cares because if they did they'd have been doing it themselves already#so why shout into the void#when we can all just decide she's a big honest tragic perfect golden retriever whose only purpose in fandom#is being Nice in the background of the actual interesting character work instead#i'm gonna regret posting this tomorrow aren't i
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I can and will judge people based on their opinion of Adam Parrish and I am not sorry for it ♡
#Olivie Blake saying she found Adam annoying until he started dating Ronan has destroyed any interest in reading her books#if this is her opinion of Adam i can only imagine how she treats her own characters or themes of abuse in her books#so... what. bc a poor and abused teenager's emotions aren't clean and perfect he's annoying? but oh nvm he kisses boys now he's likeable???#LIKE SAY SIKE RN. Adam haters baffle me. fine if he's not your fav but actually hating on him shows 0 empathy or understanding of abuse#tumblring by moonlight#Adam Parrish#The Raven Cycle#Evie reads#Evie reads The Raven Cycle#books
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Like…
… And then the clones defeat themselves? Like. I get what you thought you were doing but. It doesn't really work.
#Firebird Randomness#it's meant to be I think#that they're such perfect copies of the originals that they care about the Soul Society#but like#I'd be more interested in a plot that lets the established characters show off their own strengths#bc that's ANOTHER issue w/ this arc#the majority of the regular cast aren't allowed to win#for some reason they suddenly need one off girl even when YAMAMATO is on the field in one fight#then in another the clones just suddenly change their minds#bc… who the fuck knows#I want stuff like Renji beating clone Byakuya and insisting it doesn't count bc it wasn't the real Byakuya#I want Unohana being ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING#I want to see Kurotschi being a maniac scientist#Kenpachi being kinda almost friends w/ some of the other captains#I WANT to see these characters overcome difficulty opponents and win#I don't want to see some rando who will never appear again suddenly be super powerful and rescue everyone#or the enemy defeating itself bc They Were Noble Actually#like this is why the Bount arc annoyed bc there was So Much melodrama about them#and it was so cringe and convoluted#but they didn't obsess over their one off characters like this#and like#people besides Ichigo were allowed to win#most of the time#the filler arcs got decidedly more 'only the protag can defeat them uwu' than the canon omes#I'm not fixing that typo#Things You Didn't Know Fire Was Into
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officially going to be taking a standup comedy class next semester!!! now my schedule is literally:
improv class
sociology class about queer history
standup class
buddy cole documentary which counts as a class despite only meeting with the professor when i want to and being a project i would work on even if i didn't get college credit
god i love majoring in comedy in college
#i realized my science credit was already taken care of by a dual enrollment class i did in high school so that gave me an opening#and i already have a plan to take care of all the other general education stuff later so i might as well load up on comedy courses#unfortunately due to some bullshit that's not as interesting as i think it is a lot of the comedy classes aren't running this fall#so the only one at my level with open seats is standup#and y'know typically i do NOT enjoy performing standup. i love watching standup very much but performing it's not for me#(plus ik my nemesis is in that class and she's also in my 2 other real classes so ugh i'm gonna be seeing a lot of her)#HOWEVER. i've already taken a course with this professor and he likes me#he's a kith fan so if i have to miss class or get an extension bc of work on the buddy cole doc he'll probably be super understanding#and!!! most importantly!!! he's really into character standup which not a lot of students choose to do#but for me. this gives me a perfect opportunity to actually work on some of my aubrey material as a ''standup character''#or at the very least shoehorn buddy cole into discussions lmao#also. my improv class is right before this one and improv is probably the type of comedy i'm most confident in#so maybe that will give me a nice push to get more confident in standup#and as for the ''constantly having to be around my nemesis'' thing. well i can hope that she manages to chill out by then#but even if she is insufferable. i can take solace in being the one with kith connections and paul will almost definitely let me rant to hi
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I started reading Me and Roboco out of boredom and nostalgia for Doraemon. I was expecting some crude gag manga with mean-spirited humor but i'm pleasantly surprised. A lot of the humor came from how nice the characters are to each others instead of the usual "wacky characters bullying the straight man butt monkey" i was expecting, just really wholesome friendship and found family stuff. I like that the main character, Bondo, is allowed to be wacky sometimes too, not just reacting to other characters' antics. The manga isn't without its problems tho, there some questionable stuff that got throw in sometimes (a probably racist panel, typical male characters perving on the girls stuff, etc. ) but they are minor enough that they didn't really affect my experience. The humor also relied on referencing other Jump's series a lot too, i stopped reading shounens so most of the jokes went over my head but i don't really mind it.
If you like the original Doraemon manga, Saiki K, Gintama or Crayon Shin-chan, you'll probably like this. Noted that Me and Roboco is a pure gag manga so you shouldn't expect any coherent plot or overarching story arc. It can also get repetitive sometimes but that's a plus from my personal opinion.
#westerners seem to hate this series#i kinda get why tho#its just not the type of thing i can see the majority of western audience enjoying#this series is also gayer than i expected of a doraemon parody#its a lot to unpack but tldr: basically almost all of the mc's male friends are in love with him#it played off as gags but not in the ew gay kinda way#they are more like. the most popular kid is obsessed with the mc. or the mc is his bestfriend's true love kiss. etc.#like i said#a lot to unpack#the mc bondo is pretty autistic coded too#but i fear that i'll get jumped if i say why i thought so haha#also also#regarding the fanservice#its surprisingly even tamer than doraemon#like there moments of the main character being pervy#but they went out of their way to not include fanservice creep shots of the girls#except for roboco but they are played for gags and roboco is an adult(?)#the female characters have lives outside of just existed as love interests too#they aren't perfect but it was definitely better than i expected#i'll finish the remaining chapters before i talk more about it#mini review#i think?#me and roboco#boku to roboco#manga
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chuuya is such an insane character conceptually tbh it’s amazing. i want him to get therapy.
#he honestly... seems very well adjusted considering his past#not in a perfect mental condition or smth but still surprisingly stable#which adds to said insanity i'd say. like if he were different in any way he'd become cliche. you know?#i saw an interesting discussion abt him where ppl said there aren't quite other characters like him out there and tbh yeah#it's wonderful. i love him. and i worry for him
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man.. rereading the arc of a scythe trilogy!!!!
#fuuuccckkk i love this shit so much#i got halfway through the toll when it came out then never picked it up again bc school and all that crap#and now i just finished thunderhead again#uggghh it's so good#starting the toll again today!!! im so excited!!!!#scythe rand has always been my favorite character and man. i forgot how interesting of a character she is#i absolutely love neal's writing but smth about the way this trilogy is written really itches my brain so good#i love the setting so much#oh that reminds me. i need to reread the unwind series. i read it forever ago and it's still my favorite thing ever#gotta read it again to get emotionally devastated again!!#anyways im so excited#heck i need a tag for my book rambles#hmmmm#sometimes ash reads 💚#there we go. perfect#arc of a scythe my beloveeeddd#shusterman's writing is so great! i need to read the skinjacker trilogy too#it's been collecting dust on my shelf for a while#so many books on my tbr... and i'm only gonna read the shusterman ones aren't i-
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I have a strange relationship with James T. Kirk where I utterly adore him but when I meet someone else who feels similarly I'm suspicious of them.
Like, are you fond of this man because he's a drama king who's totally ride or die for Spock, McCoy, and his crew? Or are your thoughts more along the lines of "Kirk is brilliant and the best captain and can do no wrong"?
#star trek#star trek tos#listen I love kirk and he IS smart#and he IS good at his job in many ways#but in some ways he isn't#sometimes he prioritizes his friends more than the rest of his crew#sometimes he makes choices out of passion that aren't in his crew's best interest#sometimes when the going gets tough he snaps at his friends and crew to demand solutions when he himself has no answers#sometimes he takes his own beliefs and applies them to alien cultures when he doesn't have the right to#sometimes he's snarky towards authority figures#all of these things make him an interesting character#but they also make him imperfect#and so I get uncomfortable with the narrative I encounter sometimes#that kirk is an oh-so-perfect strategist and diplomat and captain#(often with the implication being that he's better than the other captains in later star trek)#when... no#they're all different and they're all flawed#kirk isn't perfect just because he's first
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Sometimes they're sharing the brain cell like a hot potato, and other times they're covering each other's blind spots like a spy movie poster. Only they have "kick me" notes on the back of their heads.
It's no fun if everybody's perfect all the time. Making even the smart ones a little stupid sometimes just makes it all the more realistic.
so important for every character to be an idiot, but each in their own unique beautiful way
#I will always think of the time in 4th grade when the smart kid didn't know how to pronounce a word#it was one of those that aren't spelled the way you think#and he was SO CERTAIN in his wrongness#the teacher had to correct him gently#and I thought wow#if he doesn't know that#he who knows everything#then maybe nobody's perfect#LITTLE DID I KNOW I'd stumbled across a phrase that the adults had been quoting at each others for years#an important truth#and good to keep in mind while writing#got some perfect characters?#what are they bad at?#no really they're bound to be bad at something#and it's bound to be interesting#writer life
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withering whenever it's like "can't believe they did this Horror in tv y7 media" type thing When what that means is "made a reference to r rated horror movie" like can't believe an evident approximation of Recognizably Specific character or sequence or whatever is in there. like why not. and why is that in & of itself Impressive like well is the scene actually good / is whatever the Reference is being used for effective even without going "i get that reference." do we expect a kid to get the reference. do we expect it to be that motivating to be like "oh shit here it comes. clapping & cheering for Getting The Reference which is the only reason i showed up" like i fucking guess. that "yes, i too Get The Reference" motivation sure Apparently existing but it's so alien(tm) to me (oh my God this media that's not Teens & Up showed a Xenomorph(tm) (but not (tm) so as to be sued?) how?? &, the vision of this, i guess) like does the thing (oh my god. another generally recognizable horror movie. or movie poster) make sense if you don't go "ah, i know exactly what's being referenced :)", is there any broader Effect even if you do Get It. idgaf about clapping b/c They Said (A) Thing i recognize from other media & can like turn & be like "ah did you recognize this as well? delightful" like help. agonizing even if it Doesn't have any meaning If You Do Not Get It. was horrified myself at some interview doing a billions(tm) style Movie Quotation to expand on what someone said by going "oh it's like that scene in movie where she says quote & does moment that makes a trailer" & i was like yeah i do know that material but why was that Specifically invoked to make a point so generic it's barely relevant to that elaborate interruption....like that obviously i think it can be a lot of fun if someone is like "ah i too know that thing" but only if that leads to relevant in depth shared enjoyment of Some sort of specific element. not like oh hell yeah high five over the most superficial thing, or it being a bummer / Shame if you Don't too know that thing, who give a shit. i've never seen anything ever. but preexisting References / whatever passed around description/invocation of peak recognizable / memorable / relevant element sure reach me such that like oh yeah i Know Of xyz sequence without having ever seen that thing. probably without necessarily realizing b/c it had any function in its source material without knowing "ah, this is a reference. & i know it" & like there's no [wow this is a reference to whatever] that would motivate me in & of itself, i think the peak motivation was this sweet spot of like, i was Barely Online before being fourteen & already liked things as an individual experience so the idea that there were other people Liking & Knowing the same thing seemed a lot more impressive for a time lol. but it would still have to be specific enough, might've been like "ooh a reference to thing??" several times & then been like okay that wasn't that rewarding lol
obviously a matter of Taste like idc it's grating to me but have fun with [a reference??] revelry, i'm not making a specificass blog post to an audience of Four with this drive like "oh how i wish that this was Illegal" just like idgaf about wordplay/pun haters like whee yippee i'm a connoisseur, we're obviously having different experiences, i'm meanwhile also having the experience that i don't give a shit about Getting a reference alone or along with anyone else, regardless of any other effect [that which happens to be a reference] has / is used for. or it's like the Huh, What, of "when i like i song i'll memorize at least part of it probably, i like to sing along, if not Extra liking it & memorizing Most or All of it, perhaps with extra effort" (me) vs other people like huh wha i've never memorized a song in whole, much less on purpose, b/c i liked it. vs even if there's a song i really like (like a source material being referenced that i really like) i'm not gonna respond to Just The Title or effective title like half line from the refrain or anything, unsung. gimme a karaoke moment. idk
#perfect example that wasn't even what made me think of this but Just Today i back recognized a kid's media ''''horror'''' reference#during distinctly a sequence i recognized as a classic ''if you weren't playing this for comedy obv the next route would be horror'' sitch#fop:anw ep one where they're explaining their human bodies aren't Real. went Yeah That's A Comedically Striking Visual#about having a hole punched right through the abdomen & w/like jellybean filling lol. again only today did i see Oh that was a ref then#due to seeing a death becomes her visual due to the musical lol. In Retrospect going oh okay now yeah haha Just Like Cosmo. but like#it doesn't matter lol you didn't have to go ''just like a whole different thing i've already seen'' it was already fun/ny / effective#like yeah when taking in a Background Design i noticed ''ah that's The Shining carpet'' like does not matter. wilhelm scream floor#kinda fun sure but it's like unimportant lol. or i'm certainly not like oh shit oh fuck the thee shining movie carpet inspired carpet yayyy#but i also don't like or respect that movie. i've never seen death becomes her but i probably like or respect it more already#anyway what Did prompt this post was just indeed [can you Believe tv y7 media did recognizable horror character / moment. Amazing] reports#like yeah i can believe it. i wish there was any other appeal there? & how is it amazing or that Bold. you can just do that.#maybe it Is fun if you do but not b/c the fun is strictly that of Recognition As From Something Else You Have Seen like help#it also doesn't help like Crickets re: me liking or respecting much of the Ah True Adult Horror i've seen / know of in any depth#but i also don't enjoy [do you Get It?] references to things in whatever other genres due to Getting It. or things i Do like / respect#just also an extra disappointment like interesting when horror is made For Kids b/c there's an extra relevance to it#[status: kid] being graced with an inherent horror. & you can't like default to ''would [gore] be fucked up or what'' like Sigh; Yes#so when it's like ''ooh reporting this development in horror made for younger audiences: [do you recognize adult horror]'' like cmon#obviously will probably pair with anything at all fileable as horror sequence but like. i don't need Any focus on Reference Time then#like was actually interesting to go back & read a goosebumps book i'd never read the other year re: gtm:pota purposes#did i find it Scary to me; the adult reader? no not really. neither did rereading books i found more intense at like age 9 & all#but that doesn't mean i go ''well i was just Wrong at the time; then'' or like i needed to or did expect the same effect now#i mean i also experience whatever Horror For Adults & at most i can expect [wheee aaaa] moments & the occasional More unsettling ones#but those latter ones are more an invocation/implication of something that's indeed disturbingly unsettling#which don't tend to involve any like Immediately Recognizable Static Visual so much. well anyway
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ah the parallels
#first between light and l#where light knows l wasnt above testing the validity of the notebook in order to 'beat the game' and admires / respects him for it#because l is like light in many respects esp when it comes to his pride and willingness to play dirty#and there is no one light loves or admires more than himself#(tho i would say one of the reasons L's character isn't completely scathed by these flaws / similarities is that he knows#that he lowkey sucks and chill with it while light would write a reddit essay#in third person to defend himself)#(i.e. L knows exactly who he is and understands that others may not agree with him but is willing to damage his image#for the sake of the case. while light needs everyone to think he's the most moral and intelligent person in the room at all times#while lying through his teeth in order to maintain said image)#and secondly between l and near#where near proves that despite everything he will surpass l#by defeating light with a 'perfect victory'#one where no one needs to be sacrificed while still truly destroying kira by destroying light's ego.#L wanted to win. Near wanted to defeat kira#i have converted to the near defense team heehee#perhaps near won because never once did he admire light. he is not similar to light because light is a criminal and a loser#L's loss was likely due to his becoming too close to light. obviously he recognized light was kira the entire time but#i think he got too caught up in finally finding someone like him. near also cites L getting personally involved as a reason he lost#idk it's all very interesting.#also light assuming l's identity after his death. he gets to be his two favorite people!#to be clear i dont think L is some monstrous example of moral decay. he represents the system and works within it to bring kira to 'justice#we see the flexibility in that system during the second arc. 'justice' is whatever light mikami l or near decides it is. justice is who win#ig the best way to put it is that i see light has having a self-centered morality in that he'll twist anything to justify his actions#even if on the surface he claims they're for society's benefit#while L has an ends-justify-the-means approach and works within the system.#his actions aren't coated in quite as much narcissism as light's beliefs lol#+ he doesnt necessarily claim solving the case is for society's benefit. he plainly states it's because he finds it interesting#meanwhile near makes several remarks about how much he hates the world under kira. for him it's not about narcissicm at all#tbh soichiro i think is supposed to represent the moral backbone of the series. anyone who has/uses the power to kill is cursed
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PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, RIGHT? - N . CHAVEZ
Mature Content Ahead
Nicholas Chavez x F!Actress Reader
Warnings: SMUT
Summary: You and Nicholas are costars in a new show - Grotesqueire. When it is time to film a sex scene, you aren't ready; awkward tension takes over, but you know what they say; Practice makes perfect.
Note: I just want to say thank you so much for 1k followers and I hope you enjoy this one - and if you are new here, check out my other works. I have new stuff coming, feel free to request in my inbox for a specific character.
The filming for Grotesqueire has been underway for a few weeks now, this is your first big role in any media which you are extremely excited for. The show has an extremely interesting script, which is one of the reasons you wanted to put your all into your audition - which got you here.
"Y/N, I need you on set B in 5 minutes" Someone shouted from outside the trailer.
You sat up, taking your glasses off as you put them aside as you grabbed your contact case, quickly putting your contacts. You grab your veil, before exiting your trailer and walking towards the set. Crew preparing sets around you as you pass through different hallways, so much going on in one place but somehow you still felt at home.
"I was wondering where you were" You heard Nicholas laugh behind you as you turned to face him.
You laughed, turning to him as you smiled. Nicholas was your co-star playing a weirdly odd but kinky priest - and well, he was definitely lovely to look at.
"Nicholas, what are you doing?" The costume leader came scrambling over. "That isn't your costume for this scene- come!" She grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the set.
You laughed at Nicholas getting dragged away before walking upon the director and listening to your scene directions.
You sat upon your position on the set, the hairstylist coming to fit the veil upon your head properly, fixing your hair under it as you noticed Nicholas enter the set from the side of your view. You turn to look at him, your eye quirking up at his costume- well lack of costume.
"Nicholas why are you wearing just a towel?" You laughed.
"I have no idea- This is what Marissa gave me-" He spoke but was quickly cut off by the director on the megaphone.
"Alright! So can we get Talia on set please!"
You watched a girl walk up to you and Nicholas, smiling as she held a clipboard. "Y/N! Nicholas! I am very grateful to meet you, I am Talia your intimacy coordinator"
You blinked. You read the script you knew it was coming but you didnt realise it would be so early on. Nicholas shared a similar face to you.
"Now, don't worry, we will go over the main aspects and go over any boundaries the pair of you have" She smiled.
The next twenty minutes were spent with you, Nicholas and the intimacy coordinator. You were still shocked. It wasn't that you couldn't do it - Nicholas was attractive, and all, and the attraction for the scene was definitely there; it was just the awkwardness of it.
The tension loomed in the air as you stared at Nicholas from the doorway, reciting your lines.
After talking Talia deemed you guys to be okay to proceed, the horn sounded round the studio as the pair of you prepared for your scene.
"Can you dry my back sister... please" He hummed, passing a folded white towel over to you. You took it, walking behind him as he kneeled infront of the bed. You took the towel, slowly sliding it over his back full of gashes, cleaning the blood from his back as your finger ran over the bumps. You let your hand reset to his shoulder, softly gripping it as he hummed, it was what was scripted but it felt.. awkward.
"CUT!-" Shot through the studio as alarms sounded once more. Talia and the director came over, looking at you and Nicholas.
"Maybe lets take a break, you two talk through the scene and try and coordinate something. It feels.." The direction tapped his chin as he spoke.
"Awkward. It was very tense and not good tense" Talia sighed.
Nicholas sat on the couch looking up at you snickering as you groaned, sitting beside him, tossing your legs over his as you leaned back on the couch.
The pair of you nodded, walking out of the studio and towards the trailer as you groaned, flinging open the door as you tore the veil off your head yet again.
"I had no clue we were filming.. that today. It's just.. awkward" You looked at him, watching his body face yours completely as he held your full attention. The way his eyes stared into yours as you spoke.
"I mean if it makes you feel any better, I was pretty nervous. I didnt really know what to do and its just unfamilar i guess, its not a regular sex scene its gotta be.. kinky" He chuckled.
He made you feel comfortable. No pressure at all, the awkwardness was lifting bit by bit, showing the light under the fog.
"I mean what if we just.. you know" You blurted.
"If we just what?" Nicholas looked at you confused. "Fucked?"
"I mean you said it not me.." You looked around the room, trying to break the obvious tension as he laughed at your reaction. "I mean, for the scene right?" You smirked.
"Yeah for the scene." You sat up and looked at him as he spoke, crawling towards him slightly. You paused just before him. One of your hands gripping his thigh as the other held his shoulder.
The pair of you looked at each other for a brief moment, the balance of friends and coworkers about to be broken. As much as you wanted to chant in your head, 'it's for work, for work,' it wasn't, was it.
Your lips softly connected with his, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulled you in, sitting upon his lap, your legs wrapping and encasing him between. His lips mimicked your movement, slowly moving against yours, matching your pace and rhythm.
You pulled away briefly for a moment, looking at him. "This is work right..?" You chuckled.
"Definitely work" He smirked, pushing himself up, sending you up as he pulled apart your dress, the top clasps undoing as you kissed him forcefully. Your arms flew around his neck as he tugged the dress down slightly.
Your lips interlocked as you kissed each other hungrily, your hands combing through his locks as he slid all over your torso, pinching and grabbing at the flesh.
You both wouldn't admit it, but this was a long time coming. With the subtle flirting on and off set, you both were excited for the sex scene to finally be able to 'get a taste' as Nicholas said - but you didn't expect this.
You pulled away, gripping the waist of the dress as you dragged it up your body, pulling it up over your head as you dropped it to the floor, allowing yourself to fall back against the couch, your arms around his neck as you guided him ontop of you.
"Fuck-" Nicholas groaned, towering above you as he stared down as you adored in your black lace set as you stared up at him. "Is lingere supposed to be apart of the costume.. I mean stockings? Really? The dress covers it" His hand slid down your thigh to your calf, feeling the silky sheer material covering your bare skin.
"Personal touch" You smirked at him, your hands holding his shoulders as he licked his lips.
Nicholas's head turned to the side, kissing the wrist of your hand as it held his shoulder, taking the hand as he kissed up your arm slowly, gaining closer and closer.
You pulled him down towards you, rubbing his neck softly as you pecked his lips softly. "Nick- This is mad" You laughed out.
A smile covered his lips as he kissed your cheek, to your jaw and slowly down your neck, nipping occasionally. "Its practice... for work of course"
"The for work excuse has been.. overused~" You melted into his touch, your hands resting softly upon his hips above the towel that fixed upon his body. You tugged his hips closer, noticing his lips depart from your collarbone as he peered up at you.
He licked his lips, sitting back upon his knees as he stared down at you, that cheeky grin on his face. "Now, got to act suprised in the scene, I'll give you a little preview" He snickered.
You reached forward for his towel, tugging it as it puddled at his knees. You gawked for a moment, you didnt expect him to actually be pare naked under the towel - acting and all, you'd think he'd have some sort of cover.
"The director thought it would be more authentic to be completely naked under the towel.... For gravity purposes" He winked, his hands sliding down your waist, hooking his fingers through the sides of your underwear, slowly pulling them down your body.
"That's a terrible excuse" You laughed as you lifted your feet out of your underwear as he dropped them on the floor. You sat up, pushing his chest as he sat back on the couch.
"Calm down, cowgirl", He snickered, leaning back as he stared at you; one of his heads reached to rest upon your hip, the other clasped around himself as he gradually began to pump.
You reached back, unclasping your bra and sliding it off slowly as you threw it at him, the pair of you laughing. The sight of him leant back against the couch, hot and bothered as he stared at you while touching himself was all too much, it was making you hot and bothered.
"Fuck me, you are so hot Nicholas" you brought your hands to your face, covering your eyes as you let out a loud drawn out sigh.
"Genes.. what can I tell you" He smiled, as you leaned forward pecking his lips softly a few times. His grin seeping into the kiss as you stared at him, your noses touching eachother slightly.
You leaned in, capturing him in a soft kiss, instantly reciprocated as both his hands gripped your waist. You sat in his lap, softly grinding down against him - humming softly within the kiss at the friction.
You noticed his eagerness as his hips would occasionally buckle up against yours, one of his heads to your neck, gripping it softly as he pulled you closer - the pair of you intensely making out.
Your hands raked through his hair, tugging and stroking it as his hand tested with pressure around your neck as you hummed softly, lightly moaning within the kiss.
You pulled away abruptly, looking down as you took him into your hand as you slowly guided him into you as you let out a light and soft moan, which was sounded out by his own moan.
"Fuckkkk-" His head fell backwards as his hands fell upon your waist, guiding you slowly.
You looked down at him, your hands holding his shoulders as you slowly rutted your hips against his, grinding down against him. Watching his face twitch in pleasure as his breathing stuttered at each movement.
"You are so vocal" You laughed, pecking his lips softly as you rested your forehead against his, continuing to grind down against him, watching his body for every single twitched movement.
"Cant help it- Does it bother y-you.." He stared up at you, slightly breathless as he grinned, his eyes half lidded.
"Absolutely not.. turns me on if anything" You chuckled, kissing his cheek softly as you leaned down to nibble on his ear lobe as you continued to ride him.
Nicholas continued to groan in your ear, making you smirk as you speed up your movements, dropping your body weight down against him harshly as you bucked your hips back and forth. Cusses spewed from his lips as you continued to do so. 'Fuck' 'Shit' 'Holy Fuuuck-', continued to fall from his lips as you hummed softly, soft moans leaving yours.
You watched him intently as his eyes rolled back, his eyes staying hooded as he tried to steady his breathing. Smirking as you noticed the effect you had over him, especially how cocky he is normally.
Your movements slowed down as you panted softly, leaning against him for balance and he noticed. Nicholas picked you up, causing you to yelp momentarily as you pushed you up against a desk.
"Getting tired?" He smirked, pressing his hands against the wall behind you, as he thrusted harshly forward - causing you to gulp back a moan. Your fists clenching as you stared up at him.
"I thought-" You groaned, at each thrust he made, pressing your hands against his chest as you steadied your breathing.
"Mhm.. You thought wrong; I was definitely enjoying before, though.." He pecked your lips softly, leaning to your ear. "My turn now" He whispered.
His hands hooked under your thighs, lifting your lower body up slightly as he continued to thrust into you. You yelped out, shutting your eyes as you tried to control yourself from the overwhelming feeling of pleasure, trying hard to not let go so soon. His lips harshly locked against your neck, as he sucked and bit down against the flesh.
"Nicholas-" You gasped out, moaning softly as your fingernails clawed down his back harshly.
"Shhhh" He cooed, as he licked up your neck, his hips continuing to slam against yours as the desk rocked below the pair of you.
"So fucking good- holy-" You gasped, staring at him as you laughed out slightly, his lips curling up into a smile as he continued to thrust, his hands holding your hips up just above the desk as you locked your legs around his waist tightly.
He dropped you harshly against the wood, placing a hand on your neck, kissing you roughly as you raced to reciprocate. His tongue halfway down your throat as your hands slid down his chest, your fingers feeling between the crevises of his sculpted chest. His free hand, cupping your breast as he squeezed it occasionally.
You hummed needingly into the kiss as his thumb pressed pressure against the front of your throat, causing you to tighten - which he felt. You could feel the smirk on his face as he kissed you, his tongue exploring your mouth as you helplessly allowed it.
You felt his whole hand clamp down on your neck with pressure. Your breath hitched for a moment at the sheer shock as he pulled away, your foreheads resting against one another, beads of sweat falling and mixing within each other as you gasped, staring into his eyes as he thrust deeply, holding himself within you.
"...Nick.." you croaked out as he stared at you, his eyes blown out with lust as he leaned in, biting your lip between his teeth as he held his eye contact with you, his thumb still pressed hard against the front of your throat.
He took his free hand, sliding his middle finger and index finger past your lips and into your mouth as you stared at him. You gave him no indication against it which caused his dick to twitch. He began to thrust against yet this time harder but slower. Your body rebounded each time, pushing yourself into the wall that you could've meshed into it. You sucked on his fingers, tugging his hair as you run your hand down his face, caressing it as you let out a guttural moan as he trusted once more.
"Good girl.. cum for me" He whispered, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth and removing his hand from your neck as his face flew to yours, your lips instantly crashing upon one another as he gripped your hips, pulling you forward and roughly thrusting into you.
You moaned into his mouth, panting heavily as you drew closer and closer to your high. Your leg twitching as you threw your head back as his lips sucked and nipped at your neck as you screamed out loudly. Your hands clawing down his back as you came undone.
You were too dazed in your high, groaning and panting as Nicholas pulled out, groaning as he pumped himself watching as your whole body twitched.
Your legs flung closed as you stared at him, exhausted as he whined before he came on your thigh, whimpering and panting as he did so, his arm leant against the wall behind you as it supported his weight - his face mere centermeters away.
"Holy fuck-" You chuckled, out of breath as you stared at him.
His chest rose and fell as he stared up at you with hooded eyes. His finger swiping his cum off your thigh as he held it up to you.
You smirked, leaning forward and sucking it off his finger as you looked at him. He smiled at you before pushing himself off the wall as he stumbled back to the couch, laying back on it as he sighed - catching his breath.
"That was more of a workout than my actual workout sessions.. jesus Christ", Nicholas groaned, his arm resting up above him.
You pulled yourself off the desk, your legs slightly wobbly as you slowly approached him. You sat beside his head, lifting it and resting it against your thigh as you sighed.
"I think we've got the sex scene down, don't you.." You laughed, running your fingers through his hair.
"Oh, definitely" He smirked up at you.
It was safe to say, when the pair of you finally caught your breath you showered and got rechanged into your costumes. You had to cover up all the marks on your neck but for Nicholas it was fine, he was already marked by makeup so hopefully no one could tell the difference.
When the pair of you got to set, you definitely delivered the sex scene, going beyond the script. Hair pulling, finger sucking, tit grabbing, ass grabbing - the lot. Safe to say everyone was impressed.
"CUT! That was exactly what we needed, guys!" The director clapped as you and Nicholas stared at each other, panting slightly. You smirked, looking down at the tent under the towel Nicholas was wearing.
"Please don't move- it'll be so fucking embarrassing", Nicholas begged. You chuckled, patting his chest.
#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez smut#grotesquerie#charlie mayhew#nicholas chavez x female reader#nicholas chavez x actress!reader#nicholas chavez fanfiction#nicholas chavez fic#angelfrombenethfics
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that's it i'm officially DEAD and in tears omg zu.. oh my GOD zu omg i'm i can't even TYPE i'm shaking so hard it's so!!!! i'm so!!! ahjgzdyhagahgfd ZUUUUUU<33333
Happy birthday @yuriyuruandyuraart! ◟(๑•͈ᴗ•͈)◞
Ribbon (pink!Cross) & Buns (pink!Killer) by yuriyuruandyuraart respectively ;3
Cross from xtaleunderverse by jakei95
Killer by rahafwabas / rahaf-wabas / rahofy-sketch
+ the transparent one ehehe <3
#reblog#other's art#buns#ribbons#fanart#and oh my god you drew me fanart oh my god oh m#i JUMPED when i saw this like LITERALLY almost fell out of seat good GOSH#i had to shake myself cause i couldn't even see the piece clearly without tears blurring my vision aughghg ZUUU#i'm i can't stop CRYING your words mean SO!!!! MUCH!!!!!#how can you even say these things when i've known you were literally the dictionary definition of a kindhearted bean#literally before my blog was even MADE like come ON zu#and hearing you say you planned to draw my babies?? for years??? a knife in the chest wouldn't make me cry as hard as that#this day was already getting better and better but now it's just beyond perfect hhgjgf ZU zu zu hear me out#the tags under your art aren't for funsies they're a NECESSITY#if i have to go insane over those intricate tiny details then so do YOU!!! and you WILL hear me sobbing about it or i will perish#i can't believe how many people think i'm energetic hhh i'm literally so tired all the time xD#i am enthusiastic when it comes to art and characters tho!! like i'm unhinged about YOUR art you sweet sweet little goose<333#it almost looks as if buns is escaping from his panel into the dashboard and AGYGGYGU i CAN'T zu i can't i can't#CRYIINNG over your pose waaa it looks so ALIVE and interesting and and and!!!!!!!!#SO pleasing to look at :'((( don't get me STAAARTED on your anatomy i don't wanna type up an essay#but also who am i kidding LOOOK AT THE BOOTS!!!! THE LEGS!!!!! THE LITTLE PERFECT HANDSSS AND THE BAND-AIDS#and the expressionss your beautiful stunning expressions...lemme steal your lineart please please please???#this is so good i genuinely feel my lungs constricting trying not to sob my eyes out goooosh zu- you have no idea how cool you are huh#what else can i SAY when i can barely see the screen i'm just. SO happy :')c#seeing my designs in your style is such a pleasure i literally couldn't ask for anything better for my birthday<3333#i love this i love you and you art sm muah muah thank you thank you THANK YOU#amazing art<3333
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