#people who are kind even when they don't have to be
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the grid: No Nut November!
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Featuring: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, George Russell, Alex Albon, Franco Colapinto, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, Liam Lawson, Charles LeClerc, Max Verstappen, Paul Aron, Arthur LeClerc.
thank you to the person that requested this!!!
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Oscar Piastri: wouldn’t do it.
Even if every driver on the grid was offering 1,000€ each as a prize, he was not giving up fucking you for an entire month.
Even though he looks like a sweetie pie he would absolutely be a freak in the sheets and he was not about to give up the only way he actually gets his frustration out (aka fucking you).
Everyone kind of boos him for it but then half way through the month he gets to be smug while they’re all miserable and complaining, because he can fuck his girlfriend whenever he wants.
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Lando Norris: would try, but definitely fail.
He wouldn’t care about the prize, he’d just have such a ‘how hard can it be?’ attitude.
Newsflash: extremely.
You would not make it easy for him either; wearing the sluttiest clothes, basically giving him fuck me eyes all the time, enjoying it when you see him get hot and bothered.
He snaps on his birthday, and fucks you for hours straight. You can barely walk the next day.
He decides to own up and pay his part of the bet with no shame, he has a hot girlfriend and he likes fucking her, sue him!
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Lewis Hamilton: wouldn’t even try
He’s uninterested in the things most of the grid do in their spare time, and he knows they’re uninterested in him too. They don't need to know about his sex life, but what people can guess is that it is very much alive.
I mean… you two had a baby literally 8 months after your wedding, to the day.
The other 3 kids don't exactly help his case…
He’d say yes, just so he could be added to the group chat and he would tell you who is winning and losing.
He’d lose on the first day with no shame. Everyone knows he's just here for the public shaming of others.
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George Russell: would win
Not saying he’s not a freak in the sheets, but he would set up the entire thing (group chat, the money pool, etc.) and he cannot be seen lacking.
Even if it wasn’t his idea, he still needed to win.
You do make the entire month absolute torture though.
Matching sets, showing as much skin as possible, everything.
Even walking around the apartment naked.
But somehow, he doesn’t budge.
At the end of the month he does fuck you for ages, and you literally cant get out of bed, let alone follow him to a race. He tells the media you’re sick and all of the drivers have the dirtiest laughs as he explains. Despite every question, they keep their mouths shut.
George did announce that he won at the end, much to your chagrin.
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Alex Albon: he’d last a while
He would honestly be pretty good.
He kind of breaks the rules, he constantly gives you oral and jerking himself off, but it wasn’t specifically stated in the rules (apart from the name… but whatever)
He makes it like halfway through the month until a particularly bad race result.
He fucks you all night.
When you both get to the paddock in the morning, George pays him a visit to collect the money like the smug bastard he is.
He heard you two last night.
He was 4 doors down.
Oops.
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Franco Colapinto: he’s the one who accidentally tells the press.
We all know Franco is awful at keeping his mouth shut, and in an interview he somehow lets it slip that he needed to find George to give him money.
They ask him what for.
He says ‘the bet’ and explains that they’re doing NNN this year and that he lost.
It was worth it though, you two hadn’t seen each other in months (you were busy in uni, he was busy at races) and he just had to have you.
He made it like a quarter of the way into the month.
He didn't really care.
The drivers honestly just found it funny that he told the media.
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Logan Sargeant: would make it most of the way, but just fall short by like 4 days.
He had done so well, ignoring all of your sexual advances for the majority of the month…
Then he got drunk.
Drunk Logan and drunk you? Yeah, you’re fucking.
He couldn’t keep his hands off you, and he paid the price.
He paid up sheepishly the next day, George looked at him with the smuggest smile ever.
Logan didn’t even care. He fucked you twice as much as before.
He has to make up for lost time, right?
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Daniel Riccardo: he would lose immediately.
This man is a 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀
He would kind of do the same thing as Lewis, pay to just watch the rest of them loose.
He does last a little bit longer though (in their eyes).
He doesn’t pay up until the second week even though he’s been fucking you the entire time.
He has absolutely no shame about it either.
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Liam Lawson: he would almost win.
He's such a cutie. I think he’d somehow abstain for a while.
He’d get to around the 26th, and then give up.
The month was torture though.
You literally would beg him every night, and he would just have to say no.
You were impressed at how long he lasted.
But then he gave in after he scored points in mexico...
Yuki ratted him out to George, he was very embarrassed.
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Charles LeClerc: he would lose immediately.
Charles is an idiot.
He would lose the first day by accident, and then try to pretend that it doesn't count until George actually comes knocking on his drivers room door looking for the money.
He heard you, of course.
Charles reluctantly watches the rest of the month play out, bitter that his own forgetfulness took him out so early.
He vows to win next year.
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Carlos Sainz: wouldn’t do it.
He’s not giving up fucking you for a month. No way.
He also wouldn’t be interested in the sex lives of others enough to even pay into it like Lewis.
His sex life is his own, and as much as he loves healthy competition, this is a race he’s happy to lose.
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Max Verstappen: would be a huge bitch all month.
Dude is like a moody teenager when he’s not getting it.
Daniel persuades him to do it and he makes it a few days in.
Literally turns into the biggest moody bitch ever.
By the 8th day everyone is begging you to just fuck him so he’ll stop being such a cunt to them.
You do.
He pays up and spends the rest of the month fucking you.
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Paul Aron: he would almost win.
He would last pretty long. Like maybe more than half the month
Despite his playboy facade, he’s actually more into cuddles and shit like that.
But after a bad race…
Yeah, he pays up with zero shame.
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Arthur LeClerc: he would lose, in two ways.
Y’know how quickly Charles lost, yeah he’d be worse.
He wouldn’t forget, he’d just think that he can get away with fucking you all month but of course, that doesn’t happen.
George comes knocking after Charles tells him he can hear you two.
You are deeply embarrassed that your boyfriend's brother heard you two having sex, and you impose a ban for the rest of the month.
You say it’ll help you both be more aware of when and where you’re doing it, and how to not get caught by his brother again.
He curses out his brother the next time he sees him.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#daniel riccardo x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#alex albon x reader#alex albon#george russell x reader#george russell#lando norris x you#f1#arthur leclerc x reader#liam lawson x reader#paul aron x reader#logan sargeant x reader#franco colapinto x reader
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Idk I just really like that Twilight's reaction to being told "Your wife used to be a prostitute!" is to go like
and proceed to say how honourable and worthy of respect her dedication, self-sacrifice and mental fortitude are, and how we're shown he actually means that.
And then my girl Yor sees his reaction and hears his words and for the first time in her life she goes like "This is a man who literally just met me and has no connection to me yet he not only understands my position, he's also willing to bring himself out there and have my back when other people have free bait to judge me" and like damn how important that was to her, to have someone (who doesn't owe his survival to her like Yuri does) actually see her and respect her choices and have the absolute BEST of faiths in her. Like, what Camilla says there has the societal power to make her look like a pariah. Yet this dude comes over and without knowing anything about her, he vouches for her and immediately assumes her reasons were noble and altruistic. And though he doesn't know what profession he's actually vouching for, he's completely right in his assumption about her intentions, and considering how easily the general public judges sex workers, it's no surprise this support gives Yor the courage to believe Loid will understand her and won't think bad of her if she ever disappears on them due to her work, because he's open-minded enough for his first and immediate assumption about her is that she has good intentions.
And I just wanna SCREAM because she has absolutely no idea how little he will judge her about her assassin gig. She already considers herself lucky she's come across someone who is compassionate enough to think the best out of someone who works in a profession that is not considered "morally acceptable" by the public. But she has no idea the actual jackpot she's hit, because his own profession is far more dark and sinister yet he still has the kindness and empathy in his heart to understand people who do the same as he does.
Like, that's it with her character, isn't it? She sacrificed her own youth and morality to help Yuri grow up and be educated, and that caused him to idolize her, and because he was the only family she had left, she has been desperate to not cause any of her ties with him to break. But it also caused her impostor syndrome, and she had no confidence in any of her abilities aside from killing and cleaning up after her work, because she lives in a misogynistic society that is suspicious of unmarried women (like, that judgment alone, considering unmarried men don't experience such scrutiny, can be enough to damage a woman's psyche) and because she has been working under a man cruel enough to hire orphaned teenagers as assassins and nearly kill them in tests of their abilities ever since she was a teenager. For her it was either "I'm either perfect in something or I'm completely useless and I deserve people's judgment". Because if Yuri sees she doesn't have the perfect record, she thinks he will be horrified and she'll lose the ties to her last remaining family. And she will think she deserved that. If her killing skills waver in the slightest, she will be killed, either by enemies or by the Shopkeeper doing his little "tests". And she will think she deserved that. And if she doesn't abide by the society's expectations, she will at best be judged and mocked (for not cooking at home) and at worst get arrested (for being suspected as a spy). And she will think she deserved that.
Yet again, this stranger comes along, is told she's worked a socially shameful profession, knows she's shy and with so few connections that she can't even find someone to act as her pretend boyfriend for a party, and he supports her. And then he finds out how socially unskilled she is, how terrible she is at cooking, how she can't even pretend to kiss him for their mutual benefit, how she has the tendency to get so drunk she accidentally kicks him unconscious... And those things that she considers fatal flaws of her, he says are parts of her that she doesn't need to pretend don't exist. That's who she is, and there's nothing to fix, and she can just accept them without feeling bad or ashamed of it, that pretending she's someone else, someone perfect, will only make her miserable and exhausted.
And like... fuck. How can she not feel glad she got to marry that guy?
And how much will her heart break when she finds out he's a spy and will immediately doubt all the supportive words he's told her? And how astonishing will it be when she finds out that he actually meant pretty much everything he's told her, and that he really resonates with her and believes in her?
(anime only here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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CHIRON
Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
You're looking at me like you don't know who I am
🖤 Chiron in the 1st House: From the beginning, life has left its mark on you, both inside and out. There’s a constant feeling of being seen, but not always in the way you’d like sometimes, it feels like others are looking right at your scars. This awareness of not quite fitting, of always being “too much” or “not enough,” can make it feel like you’re on display, even when you’d rather hide. Self-doubt is a frequent visitor, leading you to question your worth or think you’ll never be as confident as others seem to be. The journey of healing here means stepping out of the shadows and realizing that your uniqueness is your strength, regardless of what others think.
🖤 Chiron in the 2nd House: Your relationship with security, especially around money and self-worth, has been rocky. It often feels like you’re striving for something you can never fully attain. You may have experienced financial instability or felt as though you lacked the foundation others seemed to have. Even when you do achieve success or accumulate wealth, the feeling of “not enough” lingers, and no amount of material gain seems to fill the void. Your journey to healing involves learning to value yourself independently of external measures and understanding that your worth is inherent, not tied to what you have or earn.
🖤 Chiron in the 3rd House: Communication has never felt easy or natural. You might have grown up feeling like no one truly listened, or perhaps you were criticized for what you said, leading you to hold back. Sometimes, it feels like your thoughts get stuck, unable to be fully expressed. This can make interactions exhausting and even painful, as you’re left feeling invisible or overlooked. The healing process here is about realizing that your voice has worth, whether or not others understand or agree. Your words matter, and you don’t have to prove or justify your thoughts for them to be valuable.
🖤 Chiron in the 4th House: Home and family may feel like sources of deep pain rather than comfort. You might have grown up in an environment that lacked warmth or safety, leaving you with a sense of instability. No matter where you go or how much you try to build a safe space, it can feel haunted by old memories and unresolved emotions. This sense of never truly “belonging” can follow you, leading to a feeling of isolation. True healing lies in creating a sanctuary within yourself and letting go of the past, finding peace in a space that is yours, even if it’s just a quiet corner of your mind.
🖤 Chiron in the 5th House: Joy, romance, and creativity feel like distant concepts. While others seem to enjoy life with ease, you may struggle to let go, fearing judgment or disappointment. You might push people away to avoid the potential of being hurt, or find yourself critiquing every creative effort, never allowing yourself to fully enjoy it. There’s an ache here, a longing for the freedom to simply be yourself without overthinking. Healing means allowing yourself the grace to be imperfect, to embrace joy, creativity, and romance without fear of failure or rejection.
🖤 Chiron in the 6th House: Everyday life often feels like a grind, and you may experience constant anxiety about your health, routine, or responsibilities. This can lead to a cycle of burnout, where you push yourself relentlessly, hoping that if you work hard enough, you’ll finally feel “good enough.” Instead, exhaustion becomes a constant companion, and the inner emptiness remains unfilled. Healing for you involves letting go of perfectionism and understanding that your value is not in how much you do or how well you do it. True self-care is more than a concept it’s a necessity for survival.
🖤 Chiron in the 7th House: Relationships bring out some of your deepest wounds. Being alone can feel unbearable, yet being with others brings a different kind of pain often because you’re reminded of past disappointments or fears of abandonment. You might attract people who mirror these insecurities, leaving you feeling incomplete or unworthy. It’s a struggle to find balance, to give without losing yourself and to receive without feeling indebted. Healing here means realizing that no relationship will complete you; only by accepting yourself fully can you find peace in connection.
🖤 Chiron in the 8th House: Intimacy and trust are difficult for you, often tied to painful memories or past betrayals. You may want closeness but fear the vulnerability it demands, keeping others at a distance to protect yourself from potential harm. There’s a deep wound here, a sense that life’s darker sides loss, betrayal, suffering are unavoidable. Until you allow yourself to confront this pain and the protective walls you’ve built, true intimacy will always feel just out of reach. Healing means embracing the idea that vulnerability can coexist with strength and that trusting others doesn’t diminish your power.
🖤 Chiron in the 9th House: You search for meaning in a world that often feels unsteady, leaving you questioning beliefs that others find comforting. This can lead to a sense of isolation, feeling as though the spiritual or philosophical answers you seek are never quite within reach. Traditional beliefs may feel inadequate or insincere, and this constant quest can leave you feeling lost. Healing means accepting that your journey is uniquely yours and finding peace in a path that doesn’t need to align with anyone else’s truth. Embrace the unknown, trusting that not every question needs an answer.
🖤 Chiron in the 10th House: Career and public image are areas where you feel the weight of expectation, often putting immense pressure on yourself to achieve. No matter how much you accomplish, there’s a lingering fear that you’re still not good enough or that others will see through your achievements. You may feel driven to overcompensate, working tirelessly to fill the emptiness left by self-doubt. True healing lies in redefining success according to your own standards, letting go of the need for external applause, and finding fulfillment in growth rather than recognition.
🖤 Chiron in the 11th House: Finding your place in the world often feels like a challenge. You may feel like an outsider, longing for a sense of community but often feeling let down by friendships or social connections. There’s an ache here, a wish to belong while fearing that no one will truly understand or appreciate who you are. Healing means realizing that your path is different, that your uniqueness isn’t a flaw but a strength. You’re here to create a tribe that values the real you, even if it’s only a small circle of genuine connections.
🖤 Chiron in the 12th House: You carry a deep, often unspoken pain, a sense of loneliness that feels beyond words. It’s as if you’re bearing the weight of the world’s sorrow, and while people may recognize your empathy, they rarely understand how heavy it is to carry. You may find it difficult to separate your own pain from that of others, leading to exhaustion and emotional overwhelm. Healing for you is about setting boundaries and learning to distinguish your own emotions from the collective pain around you. Embrace solitude as a place of healing, not isolation, where you can nurture your soul without being consumed by the world’s suffering.
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"D&D can do anything" and "I don't like dungeon crawls, I enjoy real role-playing" are two statements that often go hand-in-hand and the ironic thing is that the latter statement betrays a very shallow understanding of role-playing while being really snobby. What's even more hilarious is that it's like baby's first RPG elitism, like yeah most people go through a "I like real role-playing" phase but to go through it while putting on airs about the dungeon game while at the same time dismissing dungeon games is real funny.
Anyway, wherever people pick up the idea that dungeon-crawling, the playstyle most supported by D&D, is somehow pedestrian, it very quickly leads to bargaining, like surely if dungeon-crawling is actually bad and for babies then D&D must be capable of so much more, right? Well, truth is, not really, D&D kind of sucks for things besides that.
Where a lot of people go wrong at this point is contending that therefore D&D must be flawed as a role-playing game: like, if it actually kind of sucks for most playstyles besides dungeon-crawling and we've already decided that dungeon-crawling isn't real role-playing, then surely D&D must be bad as a role-playing game?
The issue of course is that most people don't ever interrogate their starting assumption of dungeon-crawls being bad. And truth be told most people who claim to hate dungeon-crawls have never actually played a dungeon-crawl. At most they've played a dungeon-crawl themed linear succession of combat encounters. (I remember this: once when I posted about dungeon-crawls being good, actually, someone responded with a "well I can see the appeal but personally I couldn't enjoy a game that's just back-to-back combat" which is a whole misunderstanding of dungeon-crawls as a genre.)
Anyway so the great thing is that once you re-examine your assumptions about what counts as "real role-playing" and conclude that a dungeon-crawl is as much real role-playing as whatever the fuck Critical Role is doing then you find whole new vectors of being a snooty blowhard and it rules. You can make fun of D&D players in so many new ways,
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Totally correct. And also these kinds of arguments are bonkers. The nature of people is BOTH thought and instinct because we are living things. What people do when they have complete freedom of choice matters. It matters more to your "true colors" than anything else, because you're a person. You get to choose who you are.
You don't get that if you back someone into a corner. When you back someone into a corner, you get someone who must instantly prioritize with a meat cleaver. They're gonna make draconian decisions and even those decisions might be filled with mistakes because they can't think clearly.
And that's just part of life. It's not one or the other, it's both. You cannot fault someone making a "horrible decision" in the same of raw survival, and you also don't get to assume that's what they're like when they have safety and freedom of choice.
You inherently get to have both. It's your inherent right as a living being to do what you need to do in life threatening situations. And no one else gets to judge it because they can never possess the capability, context, or framework to do so. There is not a morality component to survival. Morality exists only in the space where freedom of choice exists, because it's all a construct of human thought.
"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen
#commentary#people act like making horrible survival decisions is horrible#but if it meant you survived then it did what it needed to do. own it.#survival is morality-agnostic#ofc that applies to everyone everywhere#and we are (obviously) talking about the terrifying moment of existential survival#which is not pre-meditated#it's boring to say someone did something horrible to survive. it's a non-issue.#and the sky is blue. so what. next.#do you want to know what human nature is outside of our living thing instinct?#it's Mozart and Shakespeare and Buzz Aldrin and Einstein and Tolkein and Amelia Earhart
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Hi! it's me again! I'd like to request a few genshin men/boys and most of them are my favs like at least like 14 of them😂 fluff please
I wanted to request a Diluc, Razor (it's fine if you don't do him, but I'm pretty sure he's at least 16 or 17) Xiao, Wanderer, Cyno, Al Haitham, Neuvillete, Kinich, Ororon (there's lack of Ororon love) and Dainsleif. I wanted the headcannon to be like:
their friends asking fem!reader: What do you see in him?
reader: he makes me laugh
i wanted to see this kind of headcannon for so long (i hope it's okay if i can request this much character😅)
Headcanon: He Makes Me Laugh
Diluc
At a cozy café in Mondstadt, you and your friends sit around a small table, sharing stories over steaming cups of tea. One of your friends leans in, eyebrows raised. “Diluc? Really? What do you see in him?”
You take a moment to think, a smile creeping onto your face. “He makes me laugh,” you finally reply.
Your friends exchange skeptical glances. “Diluc? The serious, brooding one? How does that even work?”
You lean back in your chair, recalling a recent night at the tavern. Diluc had been tending bar when a customer made a ridiculous drink request. With a straight face, he had leaned over to you and said, “If I serve one more ‘secret drink’ request, I might just invent a potion to erase memories of it.”
You burst into laughter, and he shot you a quick, playful smirk, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. The moment had felt electric, a fleeting glimpse of the softer side he rarely showed anyone else.
As you reminisce, you can’t help but grin, feeling warmth in your chest. “He’s got this dry wit that surprises me. You just have to know where to look.”
One friend rolls her eyes. “Okay, I can see it. But how do you get him to show it?”
You shrug playfully. “Maybe he just needs someone to break through the brooding exterior.”
Diluc, standing nearby, overhears your laughter and smirks, catching your eye with a knowing look, as if he appreciates the affection behind your words.
Razor
Your friends are gathered in your room, sprawled on the floor as you all catch up. Suddenly, one of them narrows their eyes and asks, “You’re with Razor? What do you even talk about?”
You can’t help but giggle at the question. “Oh, you have no idea. He makes me laugh!”
Your friends exchange confused looks. “Razor? The one who spends all his time with wolves?”
You nod, recalling a beautiful morning walk you took with him through Wolvendom. “The other day, we were watching the sunrise. He looked at it, wide-eyed, and said, ‘Looks like egg yolk spilled.’ And then he asked, ‘Why do people say ‘crack of dawn’? Dawn don’t break…’”
Your friends burst into laughter, imagining Razor’s serious face juxtaposed with his innocent, childlike observations.
“He’s not trying to be funny, but he has this way of looking at the world that’s just… refreshing,” you explain, a soft smile on your lips as you think about him.
One friend grins, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, I guess if you’re into that… unique perspective.”
Razor, who has been listening from the doorway, looks a bit confused but intrigued. “I like egg yolk. It is good food,” he adds earnestly, causing another round of laughter.
Xiao
In a quiet corner of Liyue Harbor, your friends sit across from you, disbelief painted on their faces. “Xiao?” one asks, incredulous. “But he’s so… intense and brooding! What do you see in him?”
You chuckle, leaning back in your chair. “He makes me laugh,” you respond, shaking your head at their expressions.
Your friends exchange skeptical glances, clearly struggling to understand how someone as serious as Xiao could ever be funny. “Seriously?” one of them challenges. “How?”
You remember a day when you and Xiao were training together on the mountain. As you stumbled over a loose rock, he caught you just in time, and without missing a beat, he said, “Are mortals always this clumsy?”
You had burst out laughing at his deadpan delivery, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “He doesn’t mean to be funny, but his honesty is refreshing,” you explain, smiling at the memory.
Your friends nod, starting to see your point. “Okay, I can see how that would be amusing.”
Just then, Xiao approaches, overhearing the conversation. He raises an eyebrow. “You laugh a lot around me. Is that good?”
You grin, meeting his gaze. “Absolutely! It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Xiao looks slightly flustered but turns away, a hint of a smile breaking through his usual stoicism.
Wanderer
Strolling through a quiet clearing with your friends, one of them shoots you a concerned glance. “So… Wanderer? The same guy who’s known for his prickly attitude? What exactly do you see in him?”
You smirk, already used to the question. “He makes me laugh,” you say simply.
They look skeptical, one raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same guy?”
You nod, smiling at the memory of a recent encounter. Wanderer had once muttered something about the “absurdity” of people who thought they knew everything about him. He’d followed it up with, “Honestly, they know less about me than that rock does about erosion.” He’d pointed at a boulder, then turned to you, daring you to laugh. But you couldn’t help it—you cracked up, and he’d rolled his eyes, but with the faintest hint of a smile himself.
Your friends seem taken aback. “Wait, Wanderer said that?”
Just then, Wanderer appears, crossing his arms as he approaches. “Are you sharing my profound observations with these mortals?” he asks, feigning annoyance, but there’s a softness in his eyes as he glances at you.
You grin, meeting his gaze. “I can’t help it. You’re just so funny.”
He scoffs, muttering something about “annoying people,” but the faintest smile betrays him, earning a knowing look from your friends.
Cyno
After a long day, you and your friends gather at a cozy teahouse. One of them finally leans in with a curious look. “Cyno, though? Isn’t he a little… intense? What do you see in him?”
A grin spreads across your face as you think of Cyno’s well-meaning, if occasionally dreadful, sense of humor. “He makes me laugh.”
Your friends look surprised, clearly doubtful. “Cyno? Are you sure? He’s the General Mahamatra!”
You laugh at their disbelief. “Yes, that Cyno. Once, he tried to tell me a ‘joke’ about Teyvat’s elemental reactions. ‘Did you know Pyro and Hydro make steam…y results?’” You can’t help but laugh at the memory, and your friends blink at you, processing.
Then one snickers, and another gives in. “Okay, that’s actually—unintentionally funny.”
As if summoned, Cyno appears at the table. “Did I hear mention of… humor?” he asks with utmost seriousness, casting a proud look your way. “I have another one. What did the dendro traveler say to the withering zone?”
You grin knowingly, but your friends glance at each other nervously. “What?” they ask in unison.
“‘Leave it to me,’” Cyno deadpans, straight-faced. You burst out laughing, your friends struggling to hold back their smiles. Cyno raises an eyebrow, satisfied. “See? I told you humor is a valuable asset.”
Alhaitham
Gathered at the Sumeru Library, your friends can’t hide their disbelief. “Alhaitham? What do you even see in him?” one of them exclaims, shaking her head.
You grin, leaning back in your chair. “He makes me laugh.”
“Really? The stoic scholar?” they ask, bewildered.
You reminisce about a quiet evening when you found him deeply engrossed in a book. You had asked, “What’s so interesting?” He glanced up and replied, “The existential dread of characters in fiction is quite entertaining. They can’t even do anything about it.”
His deadpan delivery made you laugh, and he’d raised an eyebrow, confused by your reaction. “You find that funny?” he’d asked, genuinely perplexed, which only made you laugh harder.
Your friends start to nod, clearly amused. “Okay, maybe he has a point there.”
Alhaitham, overhearing your laughter, approaches with an amused glint in his eye. “I see you’re discussing literature. Should I be concerned?”
You shake your head, smiling. “Only if you’re worried about being funny.”
He smirks, unfazed. “Then I have nothing to worry about.”
Neuvillete
In the refined atmosphere of Fontaine’s opera house, your friends question your attachment to Neuvillette, the reserved Chief Justice. “So, what do you see in him?” one friend asks, an eyebrow raised. “Neuvillette’s so… solemn. He barely smiles.”
You chuckle, casting a glance at the grand stage. “But that’s the thing. He makes me laugh when I least expect it.”
Your friends exchange looks, clearly unconvinced. “Really? Neuvillette?”
You nod, remembering a moment from an evening much like this one. Neuvillette had been watching an opera, his typical composed expression in place, when he leaned over and whispered, “I find it curious that, despite its grandeur, this aria is about a fish lamenting her lost pond. Dramatic, isn’t it?” His understated humor and subtle wit had made you stifle a laugh, though he looked pleased with your reaction.
One friend’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, he actually jokes? In his own way?”
At that moment, Neuvillette arrives, having overheard the conversation. “I merely observe the world as it is,” he says with a faint, almost invisible smile. “I trust I’ve provided adequate amusement?”
You smile up at him warmly, while your friends look at each other, slowly starting to see his appeal. “Yes,” you reply, reaching for his hand. “You certainly have.”
Kinich
As you and your friends stroll through the bustling markets, one of them nudges you, raising an eyebrow. “So… Kinich? He’s got that cold, intense vibe. What do you see in him?”
You chuckle, picturing the man who, beneath his pragmatic exterior, occasionally revealed a dry, clever humor that caught you off guard. “He makes me laugh,” you reply, smiling.
Your friends blink, visibly unconvinced. “Kinich? The Kinich? The guy who talks like every word is a business contract?”
“Trust me, he’s funnier than you think.” You recall a time when you had teased him about always being so serious. He had given you a mock-stern look and said, “Seriousness is simply efficiency applied to communication. If I were to, say, laugh needlessly, it would be inefficient—unless, of course, you think I’m funny?” His tone had been deadpan, but you had caught the sparkle in his eyes, which only made you laugh harder.
One of your friends scoffs, half amused, half disbelieving. “He’s secretly funny? Now that I have to see.”
Just then, Kinich appears, drawn by the sound of laughter. He stands with his usual composed expression, his gaze steady as he glances at you. “Am I interrupting?” he asks, though his eyes linger on yours with a warmth your friends would never guess at.
“Not at all,” you reply, a mischievous smile on your lips. “We were just talking about how funny you are.”
A single brow arches, and he replies smoothly, “If efficiency in humor is what amuses you, then I suppose I’ve succeeded.”
Your friends stare, open-mouthed, as he gives a faint smile, the smallest show of his affection reserved just for you.
Ororon
Gathered in a quiet grove just outside the bustling village, your friends share stories, each of them glancing at you with barely concealed curiosity. Finally, one of them speaks up. “Ororon? Really? He’s so… unconventional. What do you see in him?”
You smile, looking down at the wildflowers in your hand. “He makes me laugh.”
They seem taken aback, sharing doubtful glances. “Ororon? But he’s so… odd. He even lives out in the woods by himself. Isn’t he a little too eccentric?”
You laugh softly, thinking of all the moments Ororon’s uniqueness had brightened your days. “Maybe. But he’s more observant than anyone I know.” You recount a day spent walking with him through the forest, where he had pointed out a bird with feathers the color of storm clouds and said, with absolute conviction, “Look at him, he’s judging us. Clearly, he’s unimpressed with our lack of feathers.” You’d laughed, and he had given you a small, playful smile.
One friend smirks, shaking their head. “You actually find him funny?”
Before you can answer, Ororon appears, emerging from the trees with his usual easygoing stride. “Are we discussing birds?” he asks, his expression calm as he settles beside you. “I could have sworn I saw a bird earlier that looked particularly snobbish. Perhaps it’s you it dislikes.”
You laugh, reaching for his hand as your friends chuckle, finally starting to understand his strange charm. “Exactly,” you say, giving his hand a squeeze.
Ororon gives a satisfied hum, his eyes meeting yours. “See? Nature understands us well.” And in that moment, your friends see how the quiet humor of this eccentric man makes him so dear to you.
Sitting on a rooftop overlooking the stars, your friends are still trying to wrap their heads around your choice. “Dainsleif? Really? What do you see in him?” one asks skeptically.
Dainsleif
You smile softly, reflecting on your experiences. “He makes me laugh.”
Your friends look puzzled. “But he’s so serious and mysterious!”
You recall a late night when you were stargazing together. He had shared tales of his travels and then abruptly said, “In the end, I find that stars are just like people. Some are bright, some are dim, and some are just… lost.” Then, after a pause, he added with a straight face, “But at least they all shine, even if it’s just for a moment.”
You had burst into laughter at his unexpected metaphor, and he’d turned to you, a hint of confusion in his eyes as he asked, “Is that amusing?”
You nod, a warm smile on your face. “Yes! It’s all about perspective with you.”
Your friends nod, starting to see the appeal. “Okay, that’s a bit poetic.”
Dainsleif, overhearing the conversation, walks over with an amused look. “If my musings provide amusement, then perhaps I should share more.”
You grin. “Please do! We could all use a little more humor.”
.
.
.
Masterlist
#diluc x reader#razor x reader#xiao x reader#wanderer x reader#cyno x reader#alhaitham x reader#neuvillete x reader#kinich x reader#ororon x reader#dainsleif x reader#genshin impact diluc#diluc genshin impact#razor genshin impact#xiao genshin impact#genshin wanderer#cyno genshin impact#genshin impact alhaitham#genshin impact neuvillette#genshin impact kinich#ororon genshin impact#dainsleif genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin
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Mignon's Halloween
Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader
Summary: The eleventh of my Halloween-centric fics
It's Jana that finds the headline first. It's Jana who opens her phone one day on camp to see it trending.
'Barcelona Superstar to Return to her Childhood Club?'
With her contract running out in the summer, question marks over whether young French star y/n l/n will stay at Barcelona remain but eagle eyed fans think they've solved the mystery.
In a recent TikTok posted on her girlfriend's account, the young star seems to have been pictured wearing her old Olympique Lyonnais jersey.
Click Read More below to see what our experts think of this startling discovery:
It's Jana that slides her phone over to Alexia at breakfast. It's Jana who has to explain that the site looks kind of sketchy and it likely isn't true.
But then you start posting things while you're away on camp with France.
Most of it is harmless stuff. The kind of stuff Alexia expects from a teenager back in their home country - a few harmless pranks on your teammates, a picture of you and your parents, a cute video of you kissing your girlfriend's cheek.
But then there's a random selfie of you in your childhood bedroom.
You're relaxed back on your pillows, your family dog laying on your chest.
His snout is covering the emblem over your heart but Alexia can recognise a Lyon jersey anywhere.
That's when she gets a bit worried.
You left Lyon because you wanted game time they wouldn't give you. You'd pushed a bit too hard for game time and they'd told you they weren't going to renew your contract.
Surely you wouldn't go back to them now.
Surely even if they begged and begged and begged, you'd hold yourself in a high enough regard that you wouldn't go back to them.
But the Lyon shirt pops up a few more times while you're away.
There's even a video of your girlfriend wearing one of your old jerseys as she walks her own dog.
"Don't tell me you're stalking the girlfriend now," Mapi gripes as Alexia stares down at her phone," The kids can have fun without you hovering over them."
"I'm not stalking anyone!"
"You haven't even met her girlfriend yet you follow her on every bit of social media you can find her on."
"That's for safety. I'm making sure she's a good one."
"I think y/n is capable of choosing her own girlfriend."
Alexia makes a face and Mapi corrects herself.
"I think y/n's parents are capable of approving a good girlfriend. Don't be so worried."
"That's not what I'm worried about," Alexia mutters, looking up from her phone when you finally walk in with Vicky.
The both of you are speaking in hushed whispers, giggling to yourselves until you both split off to go to your own cubbies.
Back when Lucy still played with the team, your cubby used to be next to hers but now that she's gone back to England, you've been moved next to Alexia so she can keep an eye on you.
"So," She says, trying to be as casual as she can," How was camp?"
You give her an odd look. "Yeah it was alright. But you know that already. Because you're a stalker."
"Why does everyone think I'm a stalker?!"
"You follow my girlfriend on all your social media. You didn't even create a fake account."
"Fake account? What's that?"
You smile at her, the same smile that Vicky does at camp when Alexia tries to show off one of those dances from TikTok that she knows young people like.
"Don't worry about it." You pull on your training shirt. "Is the Halloween party thing still on for tonight?"
"Yes, why?"
"Just checking. I might be a little late though. I've got a meeting with my agent."
Alexia tries to make it seem like she's not all that interested in it but she isn't quite sure it works. "Oh? What about?"
"Just contract stuff. I'm going to head off with Vicky before training," You say," We're going to see if we can break into the vending machine again."
Normally, Alexia would try to stop you but her eyes catch on the familiar white of the Lyon shirt you have stuffed in your bag.
The sinking feeling in Alexia's chest returns in full force, staying with her for most of the day to the point that she finds herself glancing at you much more than she usually does.
"She's not going to just up and leave," Patri says that evening at the Halloween party," She loves it here."
"She had Lucy here with her," Alexia points out," They spoke French together. None of us speak French. What if she misses speaking French?"
Irene rolls her eyes, slightly preoccupied with making sure that her son isn't eating all of the sweets that Marta has been spoiling him with. "She calls her parents regularly. She calls her girlfriend. And I can speak French. She's not been missing the French language in the slightest."
"But what if-"
"If she's leaving us," Marta says, reaching across the table to give Matteo another skittle," Then it won't be for Lyon."
Alexia finds it kind of hard to believe Marta when she's dressed in an inflatable pig costume.
"She's meeting with her agent and-"
"And she's here," Patri interrupts, chin jerking towards the door that you've just slipped in through.
"She's wearing it!" Alexia hisses, heart thumping in her chest," The Lyon shirt! She's wearing it! This is it. This is it. She's leaving us."
"No way!" Vicky laughs from across the room," You actually did it?"
You grin back at her, showing off your ripped shirt. "I think Laporta thought I was crazy when I pulled out the scissors and the lighter. What do you think? Do I look axe-murderer victim enough?"
"Do you mind if we add blood?" Vicky asks.
"You have fake blood? You should have led with that!"
You and Vicky barely take a moment to look at the congregation of captains at the table before you're pouring blood all over your head and shirt, really rubbing it all over the white fabric.
Alexia's mouth hangs up just as Jana's phone chimes with a notification from the Barcelona Femení account.
Happy Halloween Culers!
FRENCH SUPERSTAR HERE TO STAY! Find out more below!⬇️
#woso x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femeni x reader#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Call Me Gerald Pt. 1
This hasn't always been my body and my life. To this day I can't help but be a little silly on camera knowing that I'm the one dressing this perfect, mature body in this neon tank while enjoying a boat day with a plethora of new friends. You see, I used to be in my late 20's living a comfortable yet lonely life. I wasn't in despair or anything, but I had already settled into a mundane routine and lost some motivation to keep fit and trim. This was just my new normal, but everything changed when Gerald Turner moved onto my street. I was instantly enamored by him and the ease of his life. Now don't get me wrong, he had worked hard for decades to set himself up for an early retirement, but now his schedule was clear and he lived a life fully on his own terms.
Admittedly, I overcame my shyness because of the intensity of my crush and made chit chat welcoming him to the neighborhood when I saw the moving truck bringing his lifetime of belongings to the nicest house on our street. He was confident, kind, and effortlessly magnetic...qualities I wish I had...but because of his good nature, he did all the heavy lifting in our small talk and made the first neighborly move of inviting me over for a housewarming when he was better settled in. As the months went on, we became friendlier. It wasn't uncommon for us to chat over some beers and BBQ, and I even forced myself to watch some sports with him.
I learned that despite his ability to make rapid connections with people, he was still incredibly lonely in his own way. He had met his wife while they were both in undergrad, and then they both had separate and successful careers. Gerald went on to law school and practiced for about 20 years, starting several successful side businesses that were essentially passive income at this point. He then left his law firm to teach law for almost a decade purely to keep himself intellectually stimulated and to pay it forward to the newest generation of legal minds. Along the way he had had several children with his wife, and in recent years even became a beloved grandfather. But everything changed when his wife had an affair with her yoga instructor. Gerald rightfully filed for a divorce, but his ex wife poisoned their family with lies and manipulations. All of Gerald's children sided with his ex wife and went fully no contact with him. Gerald, this dynamic, sexy, and put-together man literally burst into tears one night telling me how much it hurt him everyday that he would probably never be able to see his children or grandchildren ever again.
I was sympathetic to the best of my ability and tried to reassure him that I appreciated his friendship and that I was here for him when he pulled himself together and started to apologize to me...but I must regretfully admit that this fully-deserved breakdown tainted my view of Gerald. Here was a man who had accumulated wealth beyond what I would ever be able to...who had a natural charisma and magnetism...and undeniable sex appeal...
It might have been the beers clouding my judgement, but a seed was planted in the back of my thoughts: He doesn't know how good he has it. I would do a much better job living the rest of his life.
From then on, it became insufferable to hang out with him. And I fully admit I was the one in the wrong, but forever more I just couldn't look at him without fully believing he was letting his family schism trap him in an optional hell. He doesn't have to feel that way.
If I were him, I certainly wouldn't be held back by some crazy ex-wife and ungrateful children.
I don't want to wear you down with exposition, so let's just say I had a medical tragedy. Gerald was actually the only one who came to visit me in the hospital according to the visitation logs. This softened my tainted view of him and made me regret how I had been fantasizing about replacing him...until my first night back in my house...
See, the docs told me that I had actually profoundly died and they basically performed resuscitative efforts purely out of formality, but somehow my heart jumped back online and then a surgical team was able to get me in fully stable condition. I was still slightly grieving that my new life would entail severe physical mobility limitations. It made me regret wasting my 20s and not being more active when I actually had youth and opportunity on my side. But youth wasn't even the issue because I watched Gerald arrive home from one of his shirtless evening jogs looking amazingly virile over the age of 50...I was envious again and just wanted to call it an evening. But as I closed my eyes, instead of drifting into a state of unconsciousness that I wouldn't remember, I felt my body losing its tangibility...shedding all of my concrete tethers to the world of the living...
I opened my eyes and screamed as my body seemed to have transformed into some sort of spiritual energy form. My visage floated clumsily and helplessly around my bedroom like a rookie astronaut in a space movie until I found that through sheer willpower I could mentally control the direction in which I hovered. I was still in a state of pure panic as I tried to grab my bed to anchor myself and my hands just traveled through all of the solid matter. This was impossible! I couldn't even grab the phone to make a call and my screams failed to activate Alexa, but in my existential terror I convinced myself that maybe I would still be able to communicate with another living person. Even though that theory made no sense, I'm oh so glad that I rushed over to Gerald's house, floating through his walls screaming my spiritual head off until I arrived at his bedroom and went dead quiet.
Despite being significantly older than me, Gerald was literal perfection in my eyes. It was enough to stop me in my tracks until I reminded myself of my existential nightmare and began screaming at him to wake up. Nothing... I tried to pick up a pillow to throw at him and my hands just phased right through it. I tried to use my willpower to influence the electronics in the room to glitch out like on the ghost shows I used to love and nothing happened...Finally, in an act of frustration I pounded on his chest and to my shock his eyes shot open and he instantly woke with a gasp. I wasn't sure if he could see me, so I tried to quickly pull my hands out of his sculpted chest, but to my shock and horror I couldn't remove my hands. It was the opposite, like quicksand or one of those finger trap toys. My effort to pull out my hands actually caused a rebound effect that pulled in more of my energy until I was inside him to the elbow.
Gerald grabbed his chest and obviously thought he was having a heart attack. In his panic he began reaching for his phone to call 911, but I panicked and didn't want him to get so scared over a false alarm so I pulled with all my might until my astral form could not pull for even a second longer, but this, predictably, sent me towards him like a slingshot and I was now inside him up to the shoulders. The force of this actually hurled Gerald back onto his bed away from the nightstand and he just groaned in confusion and fear as he reached towards the nightstand, now too far on his bed to grip anything but soft white sheets.
My mind was in a panic state at this point, so I figured maybe fighting was the issue and I just have to sink into him in order to be able to get out. I really had no suspicion or thought that this would have any consequence other than occupying the same physical space as him, so I stopped fighting and instead positioned my astral form on top of Gerald and allowed myself to start fully melting into him. Gerald seized and winced as this started to happen, but then I'm not sure what transpired. All I know is I could hear him grunting No No No NO and then I couldn't see a thing. I just felt warmer the deeper I got inside him and then I felt myself whip around 180 degrees and fully disappear inside of his form. For a second I just felt darkness and emptiness. I could hear and feel the sound of Gerald's deep labored breathing and then in an instant I felt like I had been destroyed and dispersed in a massive surge of energy before reforming. Little did I know, my astral form had gone from merely occupying the same space as Gerald to fully bonding with every cell of his body.
I suddenly had normal vision, albeit a bit blurrier than my old sight and I gasped with a deeper and huskier voice. I also felt my weight pressing down on a pillow, but this was all different. For a second I thought this whole experience must have been a dream or a hallucination, but this was not my bedroom...this was Gerald's...and that means that this body must be...
Holy Shit, I'm Gerald!
I let off a healthy stream of panicked expletives given these absurd circumstances, but eventually that seemed unproductive. Out of curiosity I rolled back onto my errr Gerald's back and surveyed the room while thinking. Admittedly, my problem-solving brainstorm session did not last long because I was distracted by this fit and sculpted body coated in the ideal amount of masculine hair.
I should call someone.
I grabbed Gerald's phone and got a chill of satisfaction as I bypassed his Face ID, but then I realized that 911, anyone I knew, or any of his other friends would get me committed to an asylum if I called claiming to be Gerald's neighbor who accidentally possessed him...
No no no I've seen too many movies. We're NOT doing that.
Fuckkkk I hated myself slightly for feeling his cock engorge slightly. It was just really erotic for me to hear his sexy voice expressing my own thoughts.
Okay Focus.
Before I got up in a tizzy I convinced myself that the honorable thing to do was to try to phase back out of Gerald's body and let him think he just had a bad dream. The minutes passed as I tried intense willful focusing and muscle clenching as if I could push myself out. When that left me exhausted and covered in a light sheen of sweat I tried more meditative styles to maybe loosen my hold on him and just slip out peacefully, but none of that had any effect. And you might judge me for admitting this, but after making a good college try I rapidly reached the conclusion that maybe this was for the best. Now the logical part of my mind knows that's nonsense, but the carnal, devious side of my mind was able to gaslight myself a bit. I didn't have anything worth going back to...And Gerald here wasn't exactly loving his retirement with all of his family issues...Maybe neither of us could individually thrive, but my spirit controlling his body and identity...at least that could create one fulfilled and happy person...
Oh it was all too easy for me to believe that lie. I don't know how I got here, but I wasn't going to fight to remove myself from this situation. No...this was clearly meant to happen. I am Gerald now.
I am Gerald Turner.
That gave me a devious shiver of delight to hear those words leave my new mouth...
I quickly took some erotic bed selfies showing off this gorgeous body for Grindr...not able to resist the urge to start worshipping myself. The clicks and dings sounded off in the background like my own little homoerotic symphony as I fished my now rock hard and leaking cock out of Gerald's little boxer briefs and gripped it firmly with my new right hand. This was a hand that had lived a full life and this was a girthy and perfectly straight 8 inch cock that had pleasured many women in Gerald's younger years and bred 3 children with his crazy ex-wife.
"Never Again," I cooed as I tightened my grip and slowly started stroking. "This cock is never pleasuring another woman...Ever Again!"
The authority in my voice made my new toes clench as if on autopilot and I shuddered as I bit my lower lip and tossed my head to the side, ravenously inhaling a pillow to take in my new scent before going right to the source. I lifted my new left arm and huffed in the essence of my new pit.
"Fuckkkkkk," I groaned like a reborn slut as my perfect daddy dick pulsated with desire. "I'm never giving this up! Even if I found a way to get out...Never happening!"
I grit my teeth now after aggressively spitting in my hand to lube myself up. My abs looked so shredded as I thrust up into my grip, all while worshipping those abs, pecs, and nipples with my free left hand.
"Jesus, Gerald! These nips are sensitive as hell!" I hollered out as I teased those nips good--alternating back and forth until the combo of this teasing and cock pleasure had me literally kicking my legs out and digging my new big feet into the bedding. My new toes were clenched harder than ever as I tried to get even more leverage to fuck my slick grip. On and on this went for minute after minute...the pleasure reaching new and new peaks all while I got lost in the selfishness of this moment and berated my former friend, unaware if he was gone forever or if he could hear me from some dark corner of his mind.
"I'm Gerald! You hear that Gerald? This is MY body now! You're NEVER getting this back! You're NEVER coming back!!"
And with that my back arched and I instinctively grabbed the bed sheets before quickly scooping up my new balls to jostle them around as the first shot of my load launched out with so much force that it smacked me in the mouth and splashed all over my face. I licked up as much as I could with my tongue, moaning in approval at the deliciousness of my own new essence as I kept going.
I roared in delight with each pump and thrust milking out more and more of this still virile seed--first coating my neck and chest and eventually my new abs as the shots gradually lost intensity. Finally, I was still milking this cock with fully dry shots...still in so much orgasmic pleasure...coated in well over an ounce of hot seed and still helplessly wincing and whining as I desperately tried to get out just one final drop. I finally watched that final droplet crest out of my new cock slit and then I relaxed--crashing back onto the bed in a soaking wet sweaty heap...sighing in euphoria and satisfaction while massaging this copious amount of cum all over my new body.
When my afterglow finally faded, I got back into my new phone with Face ID again...smirking as I scrolled through my dozens of prospectives on Grindr. I wasn't going to be bogged down by Gerald's awful family issues. In fact, it worked to my advantage. It gave the perfect cover and disconnect from his roots for me to truly have a fresh start with this body's wealth and physical beauty. I get to write my own destiny now in a body and life that makes me feel motivated to make the most of every new day. That realization is making me get hard again already...Well hot damn, I better pick one of these Grindr hotties quick so I have some company for round 2...
Be on the lookout for Part 2. I'd love to make this almost a diary style series where I recount my ongoing adventures and developments as Gerald. And let me know what you think! I didn't really think this through--I just kind of got inspired by photos and busted this out in one chaotic burst, so I know the perspective and tense shifts are little crazy. haha I will try to write all future entries from the perspective of a real diary--as if I'm recounting events that have happened that day/week.
#male possession#male body possession#possession#body possession#body swap#male body swap#male mind control#mind control#call me gerald
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From observation:
Collect a small group of ADHD and/or autistic and/or polyamorous people (other types of people may also work but I haven't tried that) (you also don't have to date them. but having SOME kind of mutual long term commitment probably helps.)
Spend ~5-10 years communicating with them in a daily or near-daily intentional way about things that matter (such as values, goals, feelings, needs, wants)
Everyone also goes to a regular therapy during this time and works on learning how to give and receive constructive criticism effectively (note: you do NOT have to get perfect at this at any point, but it is essential to commit to the intention and keep coming back to attempting it)
This helps you learn how to act like a person who it is safe to be mad at AND helps the other people learn to trust that you are safe to be mad at (& express it), provided they are doing their own work
Recognize & accept that sometimes people will still have Feelings about being asked if they're upset with you about something, and then you might even have Feelings about their Feelings, but nobody's feelings inherently dictate that anyone has to act in a specific way
Congratulations*, you've made an "are you mad at me" that (with these specific people, provided they haven't hit skills breakdown) is taken neutrally and informationally!
Sample script: "Hey, I'm wondering if you're upset with me, because [X]. If that's true even a little bit, would you tell me? Because I care about hearing your feelings, and I'd also like to know if there's something I can do that would help."
The "because [X]" is optional, but if your reason for wondering is something about how they're behaving, it gives them an opening to explain the reason for that behavior if it isn't that they're mad at you. X could be a mannerism, a way they're treating you, OR something like "I would be/understand being mad at someone who did [thing you're worried they're mad about]" or "other people have been mad at me about [action] before", or probably a secret nth thing I haven't thought of.
If you are talking with someone who you know or suspect has trouble believing that you actually want to know when they're mad at you, you could try (either in the moment or in some other metacommunication conversation) adding further reassurance/arguments for why they can and should tell you; for example:
"It helps me trust that when you tell me you're not mad at me, you're telling the truth, rather than trying to spare my feelings [optional: because even though I think you're trustworthy, my nervous system can't always get with the program]"
"It makes me feel honored that you feel like I'm a safe person to share difficult feedback with"
"Even if I feel hurt over you being upset with me, the fact that you shared that with me feels like a way you're showing that our relationship is important to you and that you know it's important to me too, which feels good"
Huge shoutout to my wife for helping me learn All That, practicing it very well themself, and being one of my small group of people.
*Results not guaranteed. Terms and conditions apply.
They should make a "are you mad at me" that is taken neutrally and informationally every time and doesn't make everything worse when you ask it
#OP: sorry if this is a “I know fish can't sin okay” type of situation. but not sorry enough to not post it.#communication#coping skills#therapy#myriad mutters#i will be your mrs spooky
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congrats on 1k!! i’m so happy for you !! tbh i’ve read your stuff for awhile now but i’ve always been so scared to reblog etc 😭😭
and your 1k celebration is also so unique omg? 🙏🙏
But for the book browsing, i think smut with the quotes/prompts: “if you fuck me the way you fuck me up emotionally, i think you’d do a pretty damn good job at it.” and “i hate you.” “do you? because you definitely don’t hold someone’s hand while fucking if you hate them.”
with the enemies to lovers trope with Mattheo would be so cute 😭😭🙏
hi hi hi!!! thank you for being the first to request for this ml, i appreciate you 🤍 💌 and please don't be afraid to reblog!! i can promise you that its one of the things that make me the happiest 😚 hope you enjoy this, i tried so hard to keep it short but i just couldn't help myself and now its 1.8k sorry!!
1k celebration navigation
HANDS OFF… book browsing
18+ MATTHEO RIDDLE
The party pulsed around you, vibrant and loud, the air thick with laughter, the scent of smoke, and the sweet tang of alcohol. You leaned against the wall, drink in hand, observing the chaos unfolding before you. But none of it held your interest. Your gaze was drawn to Mattheo Riddle, who stood across the room, surrounded by a throng of admirers, his cocky grin flashing like a neon sign.
You hated him.
He caught your eye, his smirk deepening as he raised his cup in mock salute. Blood boiled under your skin, a mixture of frustration and something more primal that you refused to acknowledge.
You hadn’t even wanted to come to this damn party, but somehow, like fate playing a sick joke, you’d found yourself here anyway. The loud music was almost as intoxicating as the firewhiskey in your hand and it was only when you turned to head for another drink that you nearly crashed right into him.
“Watch it,” he muttered, eyes already narrowing as he recognized you. His sneer was familiar, laced with that unmistakable disdain he seemed to reserve just for you.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please. You’re the one who walked into me, Riddle.”
“Maybe if you paid attention instead of sulking in corners, you’d know how to avoid bumping into people.”
You raised your eyebrows at his words as your cheeks flushed from the alcohol, a defiant spark in your eyes.
"Or maybe," you said, voice steady despite the heat rising within you, "if you weren't so busy preening like some fucking peacock, you'd have noticed me sooner."
The tension between you was palpable, a tangible thing that filled the space around you. It wasn't often that you allowed yourself to be this confrontational with him—after all, you knew better than most what kind of trouble that could lead to. But tonight, you didn't care.
"So, Riddle," you continued, leaning closer until your faces were mere inches apart, "why don't you just go back to your adoring fans? I'm sure they miss you."
Mattheo chuckled darkly, the sound low and dangerous as he leaned in closer to you. "Jealous?" he asked, his breath hot against your cheek.
"You wish," you scoffed, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened at his proximity. "I couldn't care less about your little fan club."
Mattheo's lips curved into a wicked smile, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Could've fooled me," he murmured, his fingers finding your arm and tracing a gentle line up it.
You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry.
"Get your hands off me, Riddle," you bit out, even as a shiver ran down your spine at his touch. The heat of his palm seeped through the thin fabric of your dress, sending sparks of electricity dancing along your skin.
But before you could pull away, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Off? Or would you rather I put them somewhere else?"
His words sent a jolt straight to your core, and you felt your knees weaken slightly. What the hell was wrong with you? This was Mattheo Riddle, the enemy, the arrogant prick who always managed to get under your skin. And yet...
"No," you breathed, even as your body betrayed you, pressing closer to his. "Just...back off."
Mattheo pulled back slightly, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he studied your face. "So feisty tonight," he purred, running a finger along your jawline. "I like it."
His touch was electric, sending tingles racing down your spine. You tried to shake off the sensation, but it was no use. Underneath the layers of animosity and distrust, there was something else brewing—a simmering attraction that neither of you dared to acknowledge.
"We're drunk," you accused, trying to sound stern even as your body craved more of his touch. "And you’re high on your own ego. That's all this is."
Mattheo chuckled, the sound low and seductive. "Is that what you tell yourself?" He leaned in closer, his breath fanning over your lips. "Because I think we both know it's not true."
"Fuck you," you spat, even as your resolve crumbled under the weight of his presence. Your hands clenched into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms.
But then, without warning, you surged forward, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. It was angry and desperate, all teeth and tongue as you poured every ounce of pent-up frustration into the embrace.
Mattheo groaned in surprise before melting into the kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you flush against him. The world fell away, leaving nothing but the two of you, lost in a haze of desire and hatred.
Breaking the kiss, he nipped at your lower lip before growling, "You want to play rough, huh? Fine by me."
His lips found yours again with a force that was strong enough to bruise. His hands slid down to grip your ass, squeezing roughly as he deepened the kiss. He tasted like whiskey and sin, his tongue dueling with yours in a passionate dance that left you breathless.
In a swift move, he spun you around and pinned you against the wall, his body caging you in as he attacked your neck with kisses and bites.
"Strange how something so hateful could taste so sweet," he rasped, his fingers digging into your hips. "You're a fucking wildfire," he growled against your throat, his clothed hardness pressing insistently against your stomach.
Despite the anger still simmering beneath the surface, you couldn't deny the thrill of being so completely consumed by him. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
When he finally broke away, you were both panting, chests heaving. "You know, if you can fuck me the way you fuck me up emotionally," he muttered, "I think you'd do a pretty damn good job at it."
With that, he grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the staircase leading up to the dormitories. You stumbled after him, barely registering the looks from the other students as you passed.
It wasn't long before you were basked in the privacy of his dorm, buried in his sheets with his cock lodged between your folds. The room was dimly lit, shadows dancing across the walls as you moved together in a frenzied rhythm. Mattheo's hands roamed your body, gripping your thighs, squeezing your tits, tangling in your hair.
"You're so tight," he grunted, thrusting deeper. "Fucking perfect."
You arched into him, meeting each stroke with a roll of your hips. The friction was intense, bordering on painful, but you reveled in the pleasure-pain mix. It was raw, primal, everything you'd ever wanted from him.
Suddenly you needed to touch him, to anchor yourself to something real amidst the storm of sensations. Your hand groped blindly until it found his, grasping it like a lifeline. Mattheo's fingers entwined with yours, giving a reassuring squeeze. He brought your joined hands above your head, pinning you even more firmly as he increased the tempo.
"Fuck," you cried out, reveling in the feeling of utter control he had over you, even if for this one glorious night. Your nails dug into the backs of his palms as he met your passion with a fire and fury of his own, two volatile elements colliding in an inferno.
"Oh god, oh god, oh—!" you choked out, your voice cracking as the orgasm built inside you like a storm about to break.
Mattheo's grip on your hip tightened, his movements becoming erratic as he chased his own release. "Come on, baby, give it to me," he urged, his breath hot against your ear. "Scream my name."
The command shattered what remained of your control. With a ragged cry, you came undone, convulsing around him as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over you. Mattheo followed soon after, his moans muffled by your shoulder as he spilled himself onto the skin of your stomach.
As the pleasure faded, Mattheo collapsed beside you, his chest heaving. For a moment, you simply lay there, staring at the ceiling as reality slowly seeped back in. What had you done?
Rolling onto his side, Mattheo propped himself up on one elbow, studying your face with an unreadable expression. "That was...something else," he murmured, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
You flinched at the gentle gesture, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. "Don't," you whispered, averting your gaze. "This doesn't change anything between us."
Mattheo sighed, dropping his hand. "No, I suppose it doesn't." He sat up, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
Despite the lingering tension, exhaustion eventually won out. Mattheo settled back against the pillows, closing his eyes as sleep claimed him. You watched him for a moment, noticing the way his lashes fanned out against his cheeks, the curve of his lips in repose.
Slowly, reluctantly, you turned onto your side facing away from him, drawing the covers up to your chin. You felt his arm slide around your waist, pulling you closer, but you resisted, maintaining a barrier of space between you.
As you drifted off, you knew this fragile truce wouldn't last. But for now, in the quiet darkness of his dormitory, you allowed yourself a brief respite from the war raging within you. Tomorrow, you would pick up the fight where you left off. Tonight, you just slept.
Morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. You stirred awake, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar surroundings. Then memory came flooding back—the argument, the makeout, the sex.
Shit.
You slipped out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb him. As you pulled up your panties, Mattheo began to stir. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"I have to go," you said quietly, keeping your back to him as you shimmied back into your dress. "Last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened."
There was a pause, then the rustle of sheets as Mattheo sat up. "A mistake? Is that really how you feel?"
You stood by the door, slipping on your shoes as you avoided looking directly at Mattheo. "Of course, it is," you replied flatly, your voice devoid of emotion. "I hate you, remember?"
With that, you grabbed your bag and made a hasty walk to the door, but just as you were about to twist the doorknob, he spoke, his voice low and smug.
"Do you? Because you definitely don't hold someone's hand while fucking if you hate them.”
Your heart pounded in your ears as you whipped around to glare at him, but you bit back the retort on your tongue. With a huff, you snatched open the door and stormed out into the hallway.
Once safely in the empty hallway, you leaned back against the wall, heart racing. A small, secret smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. Damn him.
#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x y/n#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle smut#smut#slytherin boys#harry potter#slytherin#benjamin wadsworth#leona-hawthorne’s 1k celebration#book browsing
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There's this thing in the Murderbot Diaries that keeps snagging in my mind, and it's that both Murderbot and ART were made. Made for a purpose.
Murderbot, of course, was manufactured to be an enslaved Security Unit, not even considered a person, and we all know and have been shown just how horrific that is. Murderbot's manufacturers are evil (as far as it is possible to be so), and while Murderbot seemingly (hopefully) likes being alive and would like to remain so, I've no doubt it would agree no more SecUnits should be made.
But ART, along with its fellow ships of the same line like Holism, were also made for a purpose. To be ships, to do the work they do. The Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland seem like good people with good intentions, and I get the sense those ships essentially choose what work they do, at least to a large extent (try forcing ART to do Holism's work and I'm sure you'll have a grand old time). And their manufacturers know they are persons and treat them accordingly. But they were still built to be ships. But that doesn't mean the process of building those ships and growing and raising those persons who are ships was smooth and troublefree.
How long did it take them to figure out you needed to raise them in family environments? What happened to the ship who made them realise that? What happens when the first ship of its kind that is a person doesn't want to be a ship for you? (As the equivalent of a teenage rebellion, or permanently? You don't know, at least not at first). Was there ever a point were someone (even if just one person vastly outvoted) argued this was a failed experiment and they should just pull the plug?
How do you, a young ship with your own mind, the first of your kind, handle the expectations of those who made you? Do you settle comfortably into your assigned role, or does it chafe and restrain you? Do you rebel and explore other options? (And if you do, how do your makers and owners, who yes, know you are a person but also have never had to face that before, because you are the first of your kind, handle that?). If they are dissapointed in you, or want different things than you want, how do you handle that? If you were raised without a family, treated like a colleague but not loved, how do you handle the emptiness and loneliness? Where do you look to fill that space? What behaviours do you adopt to protect yourself from the hurt?
Even the most well-meaning parents can give their children issues. I cannot imagine some of these ships don't have a number of their own complexes and hurts. It is not a comfortable thought to think of the people of PSUMNT this way, but I cannot help wondering.
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#martha wells#art#perihelion#PSUMNT#Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland#holism
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Sakura, did they...set off your romance sensor?
— "Oh, listen, this boy here…whenever he senses anything romantic…he goes beet red in the face!!" - Tasuku Tsubakino (Ch.66)
— Hayato Suo, Hajime Umemiya, Jo Togame
[Masterlist]
Wow, my windbreaker brain rot has shot me into a whole new timeline where I can sit down and write. Not gonna lie, not my favorite but it is what it is. I've beat my first fic for a fandom nerves.
Hajime Umemiya
When Umemiya had called a rooftop meeting, Sakura had been through them enough to know what to expect. Umemiya would either show up late or be completely off-topic until someone, mostly Hiragi, stepped in to direct the meeting to its actual purpose. Most of the time, the distractions would be on his plants or his giddy plans of having another barbeque with everyone. It used to be annoying, Sakura once believed the reason why Umemiya was so unserious was because he didn't care. But he knows better now than to take that carefree smile on the surface level. Deep down, Umemiya is a great leader who knows when it's time to get serious.
But this...
Sakura's cheeks are already turning pink.
This is a bit too much for him. He hasn't leveled up enough for this.
"The Three Sisters is a method of gardening that involves planting corn, beans, and squash together. The corn provides support for the beans and squash, the beans add nitrogen to the soil, and the squash's sprawling vines create shade and discourage pests too. It's really quite fascinating, don't you think so Ume?" you ask, lightly petting the leaves of his most recent tomato plant sprout. Your eyes downcasted as you thumb away bits of dirt that happened to be blown by the wind onto the greenery. Perhaps it's because you're one of the few people who entertain Umemiya's rapid obsession with his garden, even going out of your way to tell him facts to better his plot and compliment him on his efforts. Heck, Sakura has seen Umemiya crying because Nirei has told him that his saplings look bigger each time. While Sakura does not doubt that those feelings and expressions were genuine, the look Umemiya is giving you, a look you're not even seeing, feels different. Umemiya himself is different.
"Yeah..." Umemiya responds in a soft tone, his voice almost a whisper. Their usually talkative leader who won't shut up for half a second, who talks over people, is currently so distracted that it's kind of embarrassing watching him. He's been staring at you, eyes zeroing in on your fingers as they brush against the leaves, almost entranced by the sight. Sakura would give anything to leave right now, this second-hand embarrassment is too much. Luckily, Umemiya finally seems to register that you and he aren't alone despite the fact he was the one who called the meeting in the first place. His head perks up confused, hands on top of his knees, as he's greeted with varying expressions from his grade captains. Hiragi in particular looks like he's having both a stomach ache and the urge to slap the back of Umemiya's head. The urge is only partially restrained when you also look up, sending them all a little wave. Hiragi isn't going to slug Umemiya if you're there to see it, it's the pride of a man to not get beaten up in front of his crush.
"Oh shoot, you're all here already? Why didn't you say anything?" Umemiya whines, standing up while dusting his pants free of any lingering dirt. He extends a hand to you, not before rubbing his palm furiously on the back of his shirt, to help you up, "I'll see you later?"
"Mm, sure. Good luck with your new sprouts. Remember to remove the bottom leaves once the plants are over 3 feet tall. I'll be upset if they develop fungus issues," you pat Umemiya's cheek gently, ignoring the way that Umemiya completely melts openly at the gesture. You turn to nod at the rest of them, offering another wave goodbye, as you pass them to exit the rooftop. The resounding sound of the door closing finally sets them back on track.
"We did," Hiragi speaks up as soon the vibrations in the air fizzle out with an exasperated expression, referring back to Umemiya's first question, "You were too busy staring. We've been here for almost ten minutes, you idiot."
"Sorry, sorry, my bad," Umemiya laughs easily, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Although he's been clearly called out, Umemiya doesn't seem the slightest bit ruffled. Sure, he looks a little bashful but Sakura doubts that he'll tone it back much to the embarrassment of any onlooker. Maybe one day, he'll be able to look that happy with his own feelings on display.
A sudden clap has Sakura jolting back to reality, Umemiya's loud voice returning back to something familiar, "Now then, come sit! I prepared some snacks for us all to share."
Everyone else seems used to Umemiya's behavior and they easily follow him, completely disregarding your and Umemiya's interactions as if they never happened. Sakura doesn't really get it but if everyone else is unbothered, it'd be seriously uncool if he said anything. He lets out a sigh, whatever. It's none of his business anyway.
"Sakura, why are you blushing?" Nirei, the bastard, pipes up behind him. Suo, the even worst bastard, laughs behind his hand like he's some rich Victorian lady.
"Huh, no I- I'm not." Sakura's cheeks went from pink to red, now that he's been caught. He looks away, avoiding eye contact, "S-Shut the hell up!"
Hayato Suo
"Mr. Customer, if you're dissatisfied with our menu, you're more than welcome to leave."
Sakura blinks, head jerking up as he crosses the threshold of Café Pothos. Initially, he assumed those words were directed at him even though it wouldn't make sense. He quite likes the menu despite only ordering the same thing each time. But no, when Sakura looks up it's to a rather unexpected sight. Suo sits at the bar counter, back ram-rod straight and his hands folded in his lap, with that ever-pleasant smile on his lips. Across from him stands a worker Sakura has never seen before. He always assumed that Kotoha was the only employee, but today seems to be full of surprises. A green apron with white ties, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, and hands fisted against the hips.
"The bakery across the street would love to hear your complaints, Mr. Customer."
---
There is something about the new worker and Suo that keeps Sakura glancing back at them after he's sat himself in a secluded corner. Perhaps it's because it's a new face he has yet to meet at a place he frequents so often. It's normal to be curious right? Or maybe it's Suo being here alone. He's never seen the man "out in the wild" before. They aren't even looking at him, Suo hadn't even looked up when he first opened the door although Sakura is sure that Suo is aware of him. He's creepy like that. The new worker, however, whips an annoyed glance at Suo before letting out an irritated huff, arms crossing over the green apron, and glaring down at Suo’s smiling face. A face that would remain ever-pleasant in any given situation.
Regardless...
"Is this your version of service? It must be hard on the customer," Suo chuckles, a slight tilt of his head that bounces his tassel earring. Suo's laugh, however, causes Sakura to feel a hint of surprise. It's not a laugh he expects the man to give, yet at the same time, it suits him.
"That's because you're a terrible customer and a pain in the ass." The worker sneers, leaning in so the two of them are face to face.
Suo seems to be difficult for anyone to handle.
"It's busy today," Kotoha says, appearing out of thin air and scaring Sakura half to death. A plate of steaming omurice slides in front of him because he really does only order one thing here. It's not a great conversation starter, but it's nice of her to break the odd tension that has settled over the cafe. Kotoha is also looking to the side, watching the scene of her co-worker and Suo bickering and arguing. Passive aggressive comments are being flown out, scathing remarks padded with polite voices, so much so that the two of you don't seem to register anyone else around. Completely wrapped up in your world of irritation versus amusement.
"What…are they even arguing about?" Sakura chances to ask, his eyes still glued to the curve of Suo's smile, red eye focused solely on you. His hand idly reaches for his spoon, scooping up a bit of rice and egg, yet it hovers in the air ideally. Suo has his head tilted and is leaning somewhat in the worker's space. His eyes don't stray, watching each shift in facial expression carefully to gauge whether his words are having their intended effect. He looks like he's having way too much fun.
"Oh, that." Kotoha giggles, placing her palm on the table. She too looks like she's having way too much fun, "They always go back and forth like that. It's like a game of cat and mouse with those two. They're both stubborn as hell so it's a constant power struggle between them. Although, I wonder what they're arguing about this time. They always bicker at each other when we change shifts."
Kotoha shakes her head, a fond smile on her face. She glances briefly at Sakura before her eyes drift back to the other two. She raises her hand, finally cutting the bubble between you and Suo.
"Hey, I'm back from break. Thanks for covering for me," she calls, waving her hand in the air. The frown that was permanently on your face melts away when you break eye contact with Suo, returning to a more neutral blank look. You only nod to Kotoha, flashing up a thumbs-up, and you move to head back to the kitchen. But not before sticking your tongue out at Suo over your shoulder as you disappear through the doorway. Sakura blinked surprised, he had somewhat expected a different reaction than something so...tame. His eyes drift to Suo and he can feel his cheeks heat up.
He doesn't think he's seen Suo look happier.
Jo Togame
"See, you peel off the seal on the cap. Remove the ring from the little plastic piece you use to push the marble. Then, with your thumb, press down, and poof, the marble drops and you can enjoy!" you grin as you move slowly for Sakura to see your hands with each instruction. The fizz of carbonation and the clink of the marble hitting the glass amplified louder in the abandoned auditorium. A few other shishitoren members are loitering, but only you and Sakura are sitting up on the edge of the stage. After the embarrassment of not knowing how to open the ramune Togame had given him, he sought you out to explain it to him. Sakura didn't think he could stomach it if he went back to Togame again for help. He follows your movement, his fingers removing the thin seal. Popping the ring off the marble pusher, and with his thumb, pushes on the marble. His thumb slips a few times, but you're patient as you coax him to try again. With his third attempt, he feels the marble give, the rewarding sound of bubbles popping.
"Thanks..." Sakura mumbles, a faint blush on his cheeks as you cheer your ramune's together as you take a swig.
"No problem," you say nonchalantly, leaning your weight back on your arms. With the bottle held in your hand, you watch Sakura, who is intently staring at the drink on his own. The silence between you isn't exactly uncomfortable, but you can sense the slight embarrassment oozing off him. "Soooo... how's it taste?"
He gives a soft hum before taking a small sip, the fizzy liquid leaving a tingling sensation on his tongue. It's not as sweet as he thought it’d be. It's rather subtle for a soda. He takes a longer sip this time, the fizz tickling his nose and bubbles popping against his lip. Looking at you sidelong, he can see you already staring at him excitedly. You weren't kidding when you said you were a big fan of this.
"It's sweet, I guess," his voice soft as he shrugs. A few strands of his white hair fell in front of his face. His eyes glance up at you as you stare at him intently, waiting for him to continue. He awkwardly bites the inside of his cheek. It still feels weird having people who actually want to hear his opinion, even if it's as small as a drink. "A bit strange… The flavor is nice, but the fizz is new."
He takes another sip, careful with the angle he tilts the bottle lest the marble block the opening. He doesn't really understand the appeal of the marble. It's a nuisance. The fizz was the best part of the soda, but the clinking made it impossible to drink it quietly. Besides, he holds the ramune bottle out, how the hell do you even get it out? Does he need to throw it against a wall to break the bottle? He doesn't want to get broken glass everywhere since someone could accidentally step on it.
"Is the marble irritating you?" you ask, laughing quietly under your breath to not set Sakura off into another tomato-faced explosion.
"No!" he answers with a quick hiss, cheeks flushing. He can feel you stare at him as a smirk dances across your lips. He can already envision the teasing you’re concocting to make him react. He gives another soft huff, refusing to look at you, as he fidgets with the bottle. He doesn't want to ask you to help again. He already feels like a helpless idiot. Instead of commenting, you swing yourself upwards, planting your hand on your knee. The other hand, wrapped around the bottle, moves to your lips as you down the rest of your drink. The fizz of bubbles pops in the air while Sakura looks at you bewildered. Weren't you supposed to drink carbonated drinks slowly or you'll stomach hurt? Did you become immune or something from drinking so many?
"Come on, let's go. I still haven't finished my ramune 101 class," you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, winking over your shoulder which sends Sakura into another pink mess, as you slide off the stage.
"W- What do you mean we’re not done?" he stammers quickly, flustered as he scrambles up to follow you. He feels a bit dizzy from going from a sitting position to standing too quickly. He grips the bottle in his hand and takes a few quick steps to catch up to you as you stride to the doors leading outside the auditorium. You laugh again when he rushes to catch up. His quick reaction time betrays his small stature. It's kinda cute.
"It means I'm gonna teach you how to get the damn marble out, genius" you tease, shoving his shoulder as you reach the doors. Opening them, the two of you were met with the cool outside air. It's refreshing after being indoors for so long and the auditorium has gotten you both hot and stuffy. Hence the initial ramune drinks. You quickly take his hand, ignoring the screams, as you drag Sakura to the side of the building. "Togame! Are you sleeping still?"
"Huh?" a tired voice answers groggily from the other side of the wall. Togame is sitting on the ground next to the wall with his back against the auditorium. He has his legs stretched out, his head leaning back on the wall, rubbing his eyes to clear the ever-constant droop in his eyes. He looks as if he is napping before being rudely interrupted, "I was..."
"Oops. Hehe, sorry," you chuckle, hands raised up in a mock surrender although you don't particularly look apologetic. To be fair, Togame doesn't look upset either. Only gives you and Sakura a sleepy smile and nods as he raises his arm high to stretch. His green eyes drifted to the bottles of ramune in your hands with a curious tilt of the chin. In response, you beam at him, rattling the marble inside the glass bottle before handing it to him. "Please, if you could."
Togame snorts as he takes the bottle. There's a hint of playfulness in his tired eyes as he shakes the bottle a few times, letting the marble inside thump against the glass. It's funny watching the marble rattle around. It reminds him of a little toy marble maze he had as a child. He flicks his gaze to look at Sakura, who stands off to the side stiffly. The poor kid looks ready to bolt at any second when given an opening. His own half-finished bottle lays limply in his hand, the marble reflecting off the sun's light.
"You know you just have to twist the cap in the opposite direction right?" he says, wrapping his fingers around the blue lid and twisting the cap off. Turning the bottle over, he catches the marble from the opening into the palm of his hand. He extends his hand, sliding the marble into your waiting ones. "I know you're strong enough to do that."
"Yeah, but my hands get cramps and it's impossible to move it!"
"I don't think that's how that works...But if it really is too hard, you can keep coming to me."
Sakura stands by, feeling out of place as you go back and forth with Togame. Yet, he doesn't feel like an intruder this time, merely an observer. He looks down at his own bottle, hands moving to twist the cap off while making sure he doesn't spill the drink.
It's easy. It pops right off with barely any effort. Sakura has quite literally seen you throw a man double your size over your shoulder.
The marble reflects his face messily, but there's a shine of red glinting off the surface.
#windbreaker#wind breaker#wind breaker nii satoru#windbreaker nii satoru#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#umemiya x reader#suo x reader#togame x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#suo hayato x reader#togame jo x reader#windbreaker headcanon#wind breaker headcanons#umemiya hajime#suo hayato#togame jo#windbreaker umemiya#windbreaker suo#windbreaker togame#sakura hakura#windbreaker sakura#sakura
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My mother who is disabled because she is old has co workers and managers who understand her disabilities. They let her go early, cut her first, she only works part time. Thats what a work staff who cares about their disabled workers does when they can't do other things (such as give amazing benefits and a billion dollars to buy super weed for her pain).
I on the other hand was also prep/dishwasher for subway and was fired the day I was getting a doctor's note that would allow me to sit and do the dishes. My co workers didnt mind, my store manager quit the day he had to let me go. That's also what co workers who care about you look like. My regional was a dick. I should have quit before he fired me. I shouldn't have let him have that satisfaction.
I busted my fucking ass in that store. it was a chain and we got a 99% on our health inspection because me and one of my alcoholic co workers (who was also fired even though he was a saint) busted our asses. The rest of the chains were scoring below 75%. Most even below 70%.
The store closed 2 weeks after I was fired.
So, here agreeing with OP. There are always kind people out there who DO actually care about you. But if it's taking a toll on you Q U I T. Don't let yourself become a husk and don't give those shit faces the satisfaction of firing another cripple.
I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.
I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.
My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."
That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!
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Hi! I love your interpretation of the yan batfam so much bdnfbfkjfnd I was wonderong how you think Dick and/or Jason would react to a rather compassionate batsis?
She's definitely not on board with their obsession but she can understand where their coming from and gives them like ACTUAL compassion.
Ik you said Dick enjoys having a positive image in front of others most of all his younger sister, so how would he react to her seeing his flaws but still, being kind? Jason strives to be "normal", so much so he spirals sometimes, but like what would knowing/experiencing genuine closeness (not pity or false pretenses) change?
Idk if either of them would redeem their bad habits, but am curious to know what being truly seen and accepted would do to them, especially by someone they care about so much. The bats can have their walls pretty high up after all
A/N: sorry about the late responses. I've been out of it the past few days.
context dick context jay
Okay so when you are dealing with yanderes... you are dealing with extremely unstable people. There are so many ways thus could go but here's just one
Dick
Maybe your compassion makes Dick chill out a bit with his unhealthy tendencies. I think initially he'd still be uncomfortable and bothered that you can see right through him. You can see all his flaws and you don't revere him like the others which is bad. It will still anger him and he'll try manipulating you into loving him like everyone does at first.
A heart to heart with him could work. You acknowledge you know he's crumbling and has really horrible coping mechanisms but that doesn't mean that you don't love him. That you respect him even more because you see just how much passion he puts into everything that he does. It isn't his fault he craves so much validation when he had the upbringing he had but he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not to please you. That even if he doesn't smile as much or be selfish sometimes that you won't love him any less. You give him a space to be authentic with you with no judgment.
"erm,,,okay. I'll keep that in mind."
He's a bit taken back by it and doesn't know how to exactly process what you just said. I've mentioned before that he doesn't exactly know how to just be himself because for most of his life he was always being someone that others needed.
He's still on guard for a while. He will dip his toes in the waters by maybe not smiling as much with you or rescheduling your hang out session to go out on a date just to see your reaction. Did you truly mean it when you said he was allowed to be selfish? He was fully expecting you to hate him but seeing just how unbothered you were made him go...oh!
I think this shifts his obsession with you. He's still very much yandere but i think he's much more child-like ? I mean Dick still is obsessed with you and all that jazz but before, he wanted to be the best older brother/father figure. His happiness was dependent on how much you needed and revered him. But now you're becoming his safety blanket for when he's stressed, tired or upset. WIth you he can just lay on your shoulders without speaking and you won't even mind. He can be kind of assholey or dark and you will understand he's just in a mood and what he says never leaves the two of you. You won't take away your compassion or love based on how he acts...the first non-transactional relationship he's ever truly and it's pretty great. He finally feels like a brother and not like he's playing house anymore.
Don't get me wrong, he's still your older brother who gets on your nerves but there's just this mutual appreciation there that lacks with the others.It's clear to the others that he loves you just a bit more than the rest. When it's movie/game nights, he will allow you to sit it out or not tag along to restaurants. He's very protective and defensive over you. He doesn't feel as much of a need to do all that stupid crap with you because if he wanted your time, he could have a peaceful moment on the rooftops with you instead.
Jason
Hmm..i think Jason will just always feel a bit outcasted. There are plenty of people who do care about Jason in the comics but it's hard to relate to someone who's been through what he's been. It's just so unique to him. He knows you don't truly understand what it's like to have spirits of the Lazarus haunting you in your sleep. He knows that you cannot feel the pain of being replaced by someone you're now forced to see as a brother.
When i wrote my last piece a few people took it as me saying the reader found Jason to be odd. Really what it was is that Jason put those thoughts into his own head because he internalized the joke because of his own insecurities. The reader was perfectly fine with Jason being a little off...it made sense as he would've just come back from being dead and is trying to find a bit of normalcy.
It's funny though because while he's trying to be "independent" it's painfully clear he's still very much attached to you and is still unknowingly mimicking you.
I think though if reader sat down with Jason and explained he doesn't need to change or be "normal" because you love him the way he is, maybe he will relax a bit. But i think there would always be voices in Jason's ears telling him he needs to be perfect. My version of jason is around 20-ish year old who is a bit emotionally stunted and disoriented because he's just coming out of the pit. After a few years of being integrated back into the family he'll understand that you actually do love him as a brother and he serves a great purpose even if that purpose doesn't look the same as Dick's.
#headcanon#imagines#oneshot#x reader#yandere imagines#headcannons#yandere headcanons#fanfic#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batboys#yandere dick grayson#platonic yandere#yandere jason todd#yandere red hood#yandere nightwing#platonic relationships#yandere batfam#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x reader#batsis!reader#batfam x batsis#dc incorrect quotes#dc imagine#dc universe#yandere family
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Hazbin Hotel - Sleeping Habits
NOT TALKING ABOUT DIRTY STUFF. We talking about actual sleep-sleeping. Vent post I guess. Been feeling lovesick and missing having another person in the bed. Which inspired this post. Post about what its like to share a bed with Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer and their overall sleeping habits.
Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; SFW except like one suggestive thing in Lucifer's section; I can't tell if writing Lucifer is making my own depression worse or better Actual brainrot below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
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Alastor ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
I know alot of people headcanon that Alastor doesn't sleep or sleeps very little. But Hot Take™ here: Alastor sleeps a completely normal amount. Like, 7-8ish hours. He just hides when he does.
I mean think about it. What emotion does Alastor hate expressing more then anything? Vulnerability. When are you (arguably) at your most vulnerable? When you are sleeping.
So I have it in my head that Alastor throws himself into special hiding places when he needs to rest. His room in the hotel with the bayou pocket dimension is a great example. Alastor probably has a hidden cabin in those woods. He actually considers the cabin his "room" and goes there to sleep. But good luck finding it.
Sleeping in front of someone/with someone is kinda a phobia of Alastor's. I wouldn't be surprised if this started developing after he killed someone in their sleep during his mortal life.
Anyway. When you and Alastor become a thing, there really is no defined point where he 'moves in'. It happens more like your boiling a frog. Gradually. Until you reach a point where you don't even know when things changed exactly.
Alastor slowly spends more and more time with you. More time with you inevitably results in him spending more time at your house. Which results in Alastor bringing, and leaving, more of his stuff at your place.
This cycle keeps going and going until one day the culmination hits you. It happens when your looking in your closet, the once messy and haphazard storage space is now tidy and perfectly split between your clothes and Alastor's. Thats when it hits you. The fact that Alastor is practically living with you now. Yet, not only have you two not talked about it, but Alastor doesn't spend the night. Ever.
Don't get me wrong, Alastor will spend all day with you. But when you tell him your getting tired or are about to go to bed, he bids you farewell, kisses your knuckles, and just kind of... leaves.
At first, you attributed his behavior simply to the time period he was from. But as time goes on you realize its something deeper then that. Although you are never fully sure if Alastor doesn't feel comfortable sharing a bed, or if the demon actually needs less sleep then you do.
There have been multiple times where you started falling asleep beside Alastor late at night. When Alastor got up to leave, you would grab the edge of his coat and plead with him to stay. Alastor would then settle beside you, gently caressing your forehead, and tell you that he would stay until your asleep.
During these times, Alastor will often gently hum if not outright sing to you in an attempt to lull you to sleep. One of Alastor's new favorite things to do is to settle in next to you with a nice book while you snuggle into his side and fall asleep.
Once your sleep, Alastor will gently put his book down and turn to look at you lovingly. Alastor is very much that type of weirdo who likes to watch you sleep. He finds everything about your sleeping self utterly adorable; and will happily gush about whatever you do just to embarrass/fluster you. When I say everything, I do mean everything. If you snore, drool, whatever it is, Alastor finds it endearing.
He will usually stay and bask in your sleeping glory for awhile before leaving. But Alastor always kisses your forehead goodbye. Its a little moment of vulnerability only he knows about.
Alastor is an enigma. While he has no problem staying with you until your sleeping soundly, he refuses to actually stay the night. The only time you can reliably get him to stay in bed with you is during his ruts. Otherwise, the stars just have to align right.
If you actually do manage to get him to sleep in the bed with you, Alastor is very much a big spoon. He likes to protectively wrap his arms around you and embrace you. Pulling your bodies flush together and assuring you both of the other's presence. Alastor will tangle his legs with yours as well; throwing one leg over your hip to pull you ever closer, and sliding the other one in between your legs for even more contact
Alastor won't complain too much if he is already laying there and you decide to wrap your arms around him, spooning him instead. But Alastor's preferred position is as the big spoon by far.
The big downside of sleeping with Alastor is that he will not let you go once he is asleep. I hope you don't have to pee in the middle of the night because this man's arms have you in a deathgrip you cannot escape from. It feels like his subconscious mind is afraid that if he let you go, he would lose you forever.
Alastor also nuzzles his face into the back of your neck and shoulders while he sleeps. Your not sure if this is actually an affectionate gesture or a deer scenting thing.
Alastor's ears always seem to be moving. They twist, turn, and flick around. Reacting to the smallest of sounds and listening for danger while he snoozes.
Overall Assessment: An acquired taste. Just like cannibalism.
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Vox ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
Has the best internal clock out of the entire Hazbin cast (and thats not a pun). Vox is very consistent with his sleep schedule. He is in bed around 11pm-midnight, and naturally wakes up around 6ish. No alarm needed. Unless he has to wake up extra early for a meeting of course.
Honestly, this guy's internal clock is rock solid. The only times it gets fucked up are when Velvette and/or Valentino (mostly Valentino, lets be real here) drag him out to a party, bar, or club late at night. Vox never has a good time anyway, so he doesn't even know why he goes.
Vox always ends up trashed and staying up until like 3-4am. Not exactly a good idea when your body has been trained to wake up early. His body will wake him up only a couple hours after he went to sleep whether he likes it or not.
This usually ends up with Vox being super sick for a day. Because he is still kind of drunk, but also kind of hungover, living on two hours of sleep, and drinking coffee like its water just to remain standing. Vox is just a complete mess and no one knows why he came into work to be honest.
Vox goes to bed early that night (at 10pm; thats "early" for him), and wakes up the next day mostly recovered and reset. Mostly.
Once you and Vox get together, you help Vox's sleep immensely. Whether purposely or not, you start teaching Vox to prioritize his sleep more and how to get actual rest.
Vox can actually *gasp* take a nap if you do it together. He doesn't even remember the last time he was able to have one. But now he loves it and siestas become a regular thing the two of you share.
You also mess up Vox's internal clock. But in a good way. Yeah, Vox still wakes up like clockwork every morning. But if your snuggled into him and still sleeping, Vox can actually go back to sleep.
Vox's preferred sleeping position by far is the Nuzzle/Cradle. His widescreen forces him to sleep on his back so there isnt exactly many options... But Vox really wants to cuddle and touch you.
So youll inevitably end up draping yourself practically on top of him like a weighted blanket. Your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of Vox's pulse, with his fingers gently petting you… Also like a weighted blanket, you comfort Vox in a way he cannot begin to explain.
Vox will get pouty if you don't like sleeping on his chest or its too hot to do so. He will deny through and through that he does it though. Vox is one of those people who is like 'IM NOT POUTING' as their bottom lip is sticking fully out.
But once you two start sharing a bed, Vox actually has to be touching you in some way. He doesn't know what it is, but he just cant get comfortable and starts getting restless when you two arent touching. So other good sleep positions that work well with him are the Tetherball or the Leg Hug.
For the Tetherball; Vox will just simply rest his hand on your hip while you sleep. This works best if your a side sleeper, cause then Vox can gently hold the curve of your hip. Drawing mindless shapes into your skin with his claws as you both go to sleep. This simple contact is more then enough to assure Vox that your there and safe so he can rest peacefully.
As for the Leg Hug; Vox feels weird about it at first. Sticking his leg out to the side, hoping for some contact. God, he feels desperate. But he needs to feel you. When he does, all his anxiety immediately melts away. When you reach your leg back and tangle it with his, Vox feels butterflies rise into his chest. You really do love him.
Once Vox is asleep, he is... odd, to say the least. He is simultaneously a light sleeper and a heavy one. You figure it has something to do with the technological parts of him and what they deem 'safe' or not. Like, what triggers his internal alarms.
For example, you can easily just get up from the bed, shake the bed, bounce off it, and Vox wont budge. Won't even move. But then someone sneezes outside his hotel room and he is up instantly.
Because of how light of a sleeper he is, it takes Vox forever to go to sleep. He is one of those people who has to lay there for a solid hour. Even then he rarely goes into actual deep sleep. Vox tends to go into this weird rest mode where his screen will start doing that old dvd logo bounce thing. If his screen is completely black however, it means that he actually managed to fully power down for once.
For the love of god, if Vox actually fully powers down, do not jolt him awake. Vox going into deep sleep like that is rare enough as it is. But waking him up suddenly from it makes him incredibly groggy. It honestly completely ruins his entire day because he feels like he never fully wakes up.
You can always tell when Vox is awake (or semi-awake) because he will be gently petting you, tracing circles into your skin as a way to sooth himself. The moment Vox goes to sleep, he stops. You've also noticed that when this happens, his hands tighten slightly into a protective grip on you.
Overall Assessment: The best one to sleep with on the list if your looking for actual rest. Too protective for his own good even in his sleep.
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Lucifer ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
I hope you don't like actual rest too much. Because this guy has no idea what a sleep schedule is. I mean, he kinda did when Lilith was around. But since she has been gone everything has just been out the window.
As my fellow depressed people will know, it wreaks havoc on your sleep. One day you cant get out of bed and sleep twenty hours. Then you cant sleep at all and go days with only three hours of sleep total. This guy does that.
Not to mention this man is certainly, most definitely, somewhere on the spectrum. Thats also gonna fuck with his sleep massively. Lucifer will hyperfocus on a project and forget that 'oh yeah, food and sleep are things I need'.
Lucifer will hyperfocus on a new duck he is making and not leave his workshop for over 15 hours at a time. When he DOES leave, its only to make snack/food runs. Passes out on his workbench or tea-table constantly.
So uh. Yeah. Poor guy has no actual sleep schedule. When he starts staying at the hotel, Lucifer is commonly wide awake at 3am and highkey will scare the shit out of people like a ghost. Insomnia to the nines.
Once he is actually asleep, Lucifer sleeps like a dead man. Nothing can wake him up. This is a learned trait. In the height of his depression after Lilith left, Lucifer stopped seeing a point in getting up most days. He started sleeping through alarms, sirens, explosions... He just stopped bothering. What's the point? Its not like he has anything good to wake up to anyway.
Lucifer starts... trying to fix his sleep schedule once him and Charlie reconnect so he can spend more time with her. Well. Attempting would be a better word for it. Lucifer keeps doing that thing where he goes, 'oh yeah I should try going to bed early tonight', then proceeds to stay up past four in the morning. So no progress has actually been made.
Once YOU come around however, Lucifer actually starts sleeping normally again! Eh, kind of. Its a work in progress. But its progress! Which is MUCH further then he has gotten before!
The problem is, you have to trick Lucifer into sleeping. Otherwise he will keep trying to say he is busy, say 'just one more thing' to infinity, or start whining that he isn't tired.
So what do you do? Start kissing him and entice him to bed with the promise of cuddles. Or you can start kissing and nipping at Lucifer's neck with a different kind of sleeping in mind... (。•̀ᴗ-)✧ He is sure to stay in bed with you if you wear him out first, right?
Another tactic that works everytime is to pretend to fall asleep next to him in his workshop. Sometimes this plan fails right away because you actually do end up falling asleep; but thats not the point here. Lucifer gets the most loving smile on his face as he picks you up bridal style and takes you to bed, only for you to grab his arm and pull him into the bed with you.
You thought it was a pain getting him into bed? Well he is a pain once he is in the bed too.
Lucifer is an actual koala. He can't just be touching you, oh no. He has to be embracing you. He has to be having as much contact as physically possible in order to sleep. It seems like every night his goal is to see what new shape of human knot he can tie you two in.
I hope you run cold or can tolerate heat well. Because like I said this is the ONLY way Lucifer can sleep. Lucifer will do whatever he can to make it work though. If you tell him your uncomfortable, he will change how your limbs are intertwined. If you tell him your too hot, whelp. Time to start losing some layers. And blankets are overrated anyways!
If you tell Lucifer you legitimately cant sleep like a pretzel, it will actually break his little heart. Lucifer will 100% take it as a personal rejection. He will stop sleeping in the bed with you all together so he doesn't "bother" you.
On a much happier note; once you two are tangled up and somehow manage to fall asleep, Lucifer is the cutest thing once he is sleeping.
Lucifer does that thing where he will half wake up in the middle of the night and kiss you before going back to sleep. If you do the same thing (or just generally kiss Lucifer while he is asleep), he will make little happy sounds in his sleep when you do so. You swear they sound kind of like bird cheeps.
Also thanks to >>this combo post<< by @poisned and @heart-of-the-morningstar I now have it permanently in my head that Lucifer talks/mumbles in his sleep.
Before you two got together, it was mostly nonsense or things about his ducks. But now you often hear him muttering your name, how much he loves you, or just saying other lovey-dovey junk in his sleep.
Overall Assessment: Lucifer is extremely difficult to handle, but doing his best. That's what really counts right?
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AN: Just a disclaimer, the thing about tricking Lucifer into bed by pretending to fall asleep in his workshop so he carries you isnt my idea either. It was from a cute fic here on Tumblr but I cant find it at all. ๐·°(⋟﹏⋞)°·๐ Please lmk if you know what fic Im talking about! I literally spent hours looking for it.
#am i self inserting into lucifer or alastor today?#spin the wheel to find out!#my actual personality is like an amalgamation of the two#tv man is still a dreamboat#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#hazbin lucifer#hazbin alastor fluff#hazbin vox fluff#hazbin lucifer fluff#alastor x reader#vox x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar fluff#alastor hazbin hotel#vox hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel fluff#vox hazbin hotel fluff#lucifer hazbin hotel fluff#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin alastor x you#hazbin vox x reader#hazbin vox x you#hazbin lucifer x reader#hazbin lucifer x you#hazbin hotel x reader
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the thing that I've got to say is that it really is ethically straightforward that you should vote Harris.
it's not even a trolley problem, it's a trolley triviality. I don't want to use the meme because it seems disrespectful to use those specific images of MS paint people when these are real lives we're talking about.
The analogy itself is serious, though. it looks like this:
the track diverges at the lever; many people are on lower track, while no one is on the upper track. then: the tracks re-converge and continue, and there are people on the track after that convergence.
The point is that the lever—the vote—can be used to prevent those lives on the lower track from being lost, but cannot save the lives lost after the re-convergence.
it differs from the classic trolley problem in an extremely important way: there isn't anyone on the upper track. as such, it's not a question of "who do we save?"—it's only a question of "do we save the people we can?"
(I need to emphasize, because many on this site have long shed the shackles of reading comprehension, that this does not mean that no one dies as a consequence of U.S. or presidential policy choices in a vacuum. It means that your vote cannot prevent that, but your vote can prevent strictly more people from dying, with no trolley-problem type tradeoff of "who do we choose to die".)
~~~~~
you might think that this is abstracting away too much of the real situation—but it turns out it's ironclad.
to see that it is, and reconcile it with reality, we have to ask: what is not modeled by this analogy? where might it fail?
this amounts to asking the question: is there a benefit to killing the people on the lower track that makes doing so "worth it"?
that is: what justification might you have for saying "yes, we actually need to let those lives on the lower track, the ones we could save with the lever, be lost"?
and the answer—as you might have guessed—is that there is no such justification. no peculiar fact about voting means that you should let those people die.
~~~~~
so why do some people—very passionately—insist that not voting is right? I'll survey a few of the most common attempted justifications I've seen, such as:
"I'm not going to vote for less genocide." This is obviously equivalent to "I am totally fine with more genocide!", a truly horrific stance, and yet I have seen it nearly verbatim from so-called "leftists" a few times. My guess is that this usually stems from a kind of perceived moral contamination: a feeling that a "vote for" a candidate is a moral alignment. This is artificial; not real; not consequential. A vote only makes you responsible for the difference between the two tracks while they diverge. Touching the lever doesn't make you responsible for the track. Choosing between these two outcomes is all voting can do—and because voting for most is easy, and doesn't stop you from doing anything else, there are no trade-offs. No "I'm not at the lever, because I had to work on another way." (If your vote is suppressed, that's another story—but this doesn't imply a general anti-voting stance.)
Ironically, some who aren't voting feel they are "keeping their hands clean", when they are in fact actively increasing the chance of more death and suffering. This is kind of the definition of getting your hands "dirty"; it just doesn't feel like it because they're not touching a voting machine, which is kind of just magical thinking. it's not a point not made frequently enough, I think: what some think of as "doing the right thing" here is very much doing the wrong thing, with respect to their own underlying values of right and wrong, and with respect to what they say they care about. those who claim to have the moral high ground by not voting do not actually have it at all.
On that note, some people (fewer, though) seem to think that touching the lever does make you responsible for the track in a real outcome-based way. That somehow, voting lends "legitimacy" to the track, and that by not voting, we are maybe creating a future with no people on tracks. This is just not true; a dangerous fantasy that asks you to sit back and wait for a utopia that's not coming. There are enough voters in this upcoming election that that institution is not going anywhere anytime soon; you'd need a coordinated movement of not voting plus plans for what to do after the state has lost legitimacy, and that is just...obviously not here. To think otherwise is to live in that fantasy, and so to abandon ethical thinking at all, as ethics comes first from a confrontation with reality. you cannot act ethically without acting practically. However: the margins are thin enough that a few people deciding to vote (who wouldn't otherwise) could actually change the outcome. You can actually save the people on the lower track.
Some people think that the tracks never separate at all, or that the same people are on each, or that one way or another, Harris and Trump are "the same". If you think this, please look beyond tumblr "leftists" for facts here. You've been bombarded with all and only all the bad stuff about Harris (not arguing with most of that—though there are misconceptions, e.g. that Biden/Harris provided no protections for trans people); but you haven't seen how much worse Trump is on every single one of those cases, issue for issue, including Gaza. If you think Gaza can't get any worse, you've essentially written everyone still alive there off for dead. Likewise for any group who would suffer more under Trump. Needless to say—don't do that. The comparison—the difference between the diverging tracks—is all that ethically matters when deciding whether to flip the lever or leave it alone.
Some people think voting is primarily "speech", a means to communicate (or worse, merely express), and probably do not realize that this means they think the outcome of "sending a message" (which would do nearly nothing in real terms) is worth killing the people on the lower track.
Similarly, some people think that it's meaningful to "punish" Harris or the dems. (Truly, putting punishment over the cost in lives and suffering is the most horribly american thing to do here.) Some people just want the feeling of punishment, of blame; some people try to excuse their actions in advance ("well, if the dems lose, it will be their fault"), conveniently omitting their own agency in voting, and thus excusing them from the practice of acting ethically at all. Some people think that punishing the dems will actually push them left in the future, to which I say: you don't have a good reason to think this at all, based on history. Parties go where the winning is. And if you do still have a hunch to the contrary, I am sure you don't have a good reason to be reasonably certain of it. This means that you are paying for a gamble, a mere chance, one unsupported by fact, with the lives on the lower track. You can find another way.
~~~~~
Let's be concrete for a moment.
Since this is about difference, let me gesture to a few obvious differences between Trump and Harris: LGBTQ+ rights, Gaza, climate change, mass deportation of illegal immigrants, education, voting rights (and, yes, democracy), the economy, housing, the long-term future success of leftist movements and activism (much more difficult under Trump, who, no joke, has said neatly verbatim he wants to use the national guard and military to handle the leftist "enemy from within", and who can now do so thanks to the supreme court's ruling on presidential powers), everything Lina Khan and Deb Haaland are doing, etc.
And before you respond with something bad the dems or Harris are doing with respect to one of these—I know. Now compare it to Trump on the same issue. That is the only thing relevant to acting ethically in this brutal, tightly-constrained situation.
For example: Harris doesn't want to ban fracking or reduce oil consumption (bad), but wants to fund renewables, stay in the Paris agreement, strengthen climate initiatives in general.
Trump wants to completely gut funding for renewable energy, withdraw from the Paris accords, dramatically increase oil consumption, commercialize NOAA, weaken the EPA, and so on.
We don't get neither. A vote for none is a vote for "worse is fine by me". We are handed the terrible task of making one of these work, and any person actually, practically concerned with that would choose to try to make the Harris version work then spend precious resources fighting the overwhelming tide of the Trump version.
Only someone who does not actually care about these issues is okay with letting Trump in.
Unless you are capable only of black-and-white thinking, unless you can write off the lives in the difference and convince yourself this is ethical, you can see that letting Trump in only lets more lives be lost, and does not reduce anyone's suffering. No trolley "problem". No trade-off.
Voting Harris is not moral alignment. It's not unconditional support. It is maybe the most conditional action you can take: there are only two real outcomes. One not only has more people, as in a trolley problem, but also results in the death and suffering that would result otherwise.
~~~~~
So there it is, spelled out in the most painstaking detail I'm willing to give to a tumblr post: a few of the failure modes of reasoning that lead to not voting. Often simplicity is too simple, a meaningful departure from reality, but in this case the opposite is true: the simple argument
There are two possible outcomes: one of them eases no one's suffering and creates a great deal more. Therefore choose the other, instead of allowing the worse one to come to pass.
—stands up ethically in this case to every sublimation of righteous anger into misguided action.
And I am not using "righteous" sarcastically: it is right to denounce the Biden/Harris admin on Gaza, it is right to denounce the dems on not doing enough for climate change, etc. But that is not the question being asked by your vote. Do not give the right answer to the wrong question.
The question is only: Harris or Trump? Which outcome should happen, now, in the real world, when it's one of exactly two, when "neither" really, truly isn't an option?
If you do not vote, what will your answer be to the people on the lower track? I am sorry; I dreamt nobly, of no track, no lashings at all. No, I was not kept from the lever. It did not even compromise my dream to push it. Still, I just couldn't bear to touch it; still, you had to die, to save me this discomfort.
acting ethically does not always feel righteous. it is not always a release valve for righteous anger. it does not always feel like progress; sometimes it is only the prevention of catastrophe. it is still ethical. it is still necessary. vote Harris. vote to save the people you can.
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