#people think of sexuality and think gay straight bi. or gay lesbian straight bi

[metalheadspiderv2]

How are we stealing t4t? Yeah, straight t4t is usually referred to as transhet or st4t to differentiate, but i always thought t4t meant any relationship without cis people in it. So gay trans men, lesbian trans women, trans man x trans women, enbies, etc. Sort of an umbrella term like how trans encompasses numerous different identities, and then that's broken down into different types of t4t relationship. But that's only allowed for trans lesbians? Right. Sure.

And to say we're making all of it straight is laughable. As someone in an actual st4t relationship, it always seems really hard to find representation or people talking about relationships like mine. I find t4t lesbians and t4t gays galore and all variations of nonbinary, genderfluid, and other identities, but very few trans woman x trans man st4t relationships. I also see so many lgbt people demonizing all straight people without even stopping to think that trans people can be straight. That's definitely something that had me struggling with my sexuality for a while. I felt like I had to ID as bi even though I wasn't into men because a good chunk of the community was constantly reiterating "straight bad" and it made me feel like a traitor or less than.

All T4T love is beautiful and valid regardless of identities or orientation. Stop the infighting and start supporting each other. It's called LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY because we're supposed to be a community, not an outcast table where everyone fights with each other

"we're a community" until men describe their experiences in a way that parallels womens experiences, then its "cultural appropriation"

(this is about the term 'achillean', the vincian flag, and also about the term 'transandrophobia')

[contagious-watermelon]

sometimes being aro really is like. hm. I just don't have a sexuality. someone ripped it out one day and now I feel nothing for no one

[werecreature-addicted]

internalized biphobia is crazy "Maybe I'm just faking it, I really do like guys what if I'm straight" I dated a woman for three years. that's not "faking it for attention" behavior

[theprinceandthewitch]

The self hating bisexual TOH fans are really something else

[transgenderwaterrat]

[ID: three screenshots of replies by tumblr user xoxo-ren-xoxo.

The first reads: Phew ok that's a lot but hey, here we are I guess. 1. 'nonmen' is a term co-opted by white exclusionists from black liberation scholarship and it shouldn't be used in this context, it was originally coined by a black scholar to describe the dehumanisation and non-personification they are subjected to. 2. We define lesbian as 'queer love of women' because there is no other definition that is inclusive to multigender people, intersex people, genderfluid people, etc.

The second reads: 3. Plenty of lesbians take testosterone, I'm not even sure why this is part of your argument. You realise that not everyone who takes testosterone is a man, yes? Historically I mean, one example of a transmasc lesbian I can think of off the top of my head is Leslie Fienberg, renowned scholar and activist. (Read Stone Butch Blues!) Another famous historical genderqueer lesbian scholar who doesn't believe the term lesbian should have a solid definition is Judith Butler. You may have heard of them. Overall, your worldview is simply your own. And one day you will probably see that other queer people aren't your enemy, and aren't out to get you. Until then, I hope you do some real research. I have plenty of links to historical documents and more of my thoughts on the fluidity of gender and sexuality.

The third reads: Also yes, if someone decides the way they feel attraction is queer, it is queer. There is no test for queerness, no threshold to meet. It is, in the same sense that gender is purely however you prescribe it to yourself, just about how you perceive your own attraction and how that helps you find community and belonging as well as comfort and stability within yourself. It's not about fitting into a perfect box of Straight or Gay or Bi.

/End ID]

ah we love it when the replies completely deconstruct someone's nonsense and shitty argument

men stop putting yourself in women’s spaces challenge 😭😭 transmascs can NOT be lesbian

“oh but who are you to police labe-“ YOURE DISRESPECTING THE LABELS ?? lesbians are NON MNE loving NON MEN?? what’s so hard to understand??

“oh- b-but my attraction is queer !!” first of all, how??? you are a man that likes women? and secondly, having queer attraction does not make that attraction automatically lesbian, it’s just queer.

“but lesbians back then took testosterone!!” PLEASE give me a source. IM BEGGING.

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[oarfishing]

Alright, I'm sick of seeing TERFisms on my dash, so here's a handy list of TERF dogwhistles and talking points to think about before you reblog a post.

I've seen a few of these before, but it doesn't hurt to make more. Especially when we're seeing a lot of radfem rhetoric popping up in LGBT spaces from people who might not know better.

SCREENNAMES: these are terms that commonly appear in radfem usernames across the web

rad or radical

fem or femme

vulva, clit, uterus, womb, ovary, vagina, etc.

febfem

anything along the lines of "angry woman"

xx or chromosomes

wombyn, wimmin, womyn, etc.

LGB

feminist

BIOS: things that show up in radfem bios

♀ or ⚢

febfem

female separatist

female, human female, adult human female

xx

something along the lines of "the scary feminist you were warned about"; being an angry woman, being sick of being silenced, being an evil woman, being an angry lesbian

detrans (NOTE: detrans people are absolutely not always transphobic)

dysphoric female

males/men do not interact

LGB✂️

misandrist

feminist (NOTE: again, very few feminists are actually terfs, but this is commonly in terf bios alongside some of these other terms)

TERMS: terms that radfems use in their circles

TIM - trans-identified male, a way of saying transfems, trans women, and other trans people

TIF - trans-identified female, same as above but the other way around, less commonly seen

DSD - disorder of sexual development, a way to avoid saying intersex and to categorize intersex people as "still male or female" (you might see "males with DSD" or "females with DSD" for example)

females or males instead of women and men

alternatively, women and males to dehumanize men

"peaking" or "peaked" - referring to becoming radicalized as a radfem or TERF

womyn, wombyn, wimmin, wo**n, and any other spelling that takes "man" out of the term woman

mentally ill men/women

sex-based oppression

gender critical

"TIRF" - trans-inclusive radical feminist (don't be fooled by the name, they're very much not)

TRA - trans rights activist, derogatory

sex-based rights

female separatism/"women's land"

WBW - womyn-born womyn

autistic girls/children

troon - (ridiculous) slur for trans people

RHETORIC: general ideological themes in radfem rhetoric

men are inherently more violent than women

women don't or rarely rape men

(woman on woman rape is ignored by almost all radfems)

being nonbinary is a way to "stop being" your assigned sex while still acting as your birth sex

lesbians are not attracted to men/penises and can never have sex with men/penises (otherwise, you're bisexual)

men can and will never be lesbians

there is no such thing as a bi lesbian, only lesbians and bisexuals. labels are rigid and sex-based

all of the world's suffering is driven by men

women would be better off separate

an all-female society is utopia

sex is binary, and intersex people are "glitches" or "still male or female but DisorderedTM"

men should expect to be feared by women

female/female relationships are safer and more pure than straight or gay male relationships

men and women are more different than similar

intersex people should not be allowed in sports

intersex people and trans men are never in men's sports

terrible world events wouldn't have happened if women were in charge

men are stupid and aggressive

being a man is not a positive thing

men's problems are lesser than women's

penises are disgusting and vaginas and vulvas are beautiful

trans women are performing at being girls

trans men see themselves as above lesbians

attraction is sex-based

porn is rape

porn is inherently violent

watching porn makes you predisposed to inflicting abuse

BDSM is inherently violent and misogynistic

transitioning children (whether socially or medically) are being abused

"bitch" and "cunt" are slurs against women

only gay men can say faggot and only lesbian women can say dyke

When you see a few or more of these together, RUN! It's a terf.

[gayestcowboy]

can i be so honest? i don’t really understand why some people seem to hate it so much when romanceable video game characters are “playersexual”/always bi or pan/always attracted to the player character. like yeah of course gay/lesbian representation is really important, i don’t think i have to stress that point at all, but if games have romance options specifically, doesn’t it just make the most sense to have them be bi/pan? because everyone wins? it’s so refreshing to be able to romance any character regardless of your own in-game gender in games like bg3 after coming from games like fire emblem where you’re forced to be straight or have extremely limited gay options. and most obviously, bi/pan representation is also important. there isn’t a finite amount of space for queer representation in fiction, and i don’t see any harm in making specifically romanceable characters bisexual for the sake of inclusion/player satisfaction rather than having distinct individual sexualities. it’s not like all fictional characters should be forced to be bisexual. like is there something i’m missing or are people just weird about bisexuals

[cardentist]

people fixate on bi-lesbians as being problematic despite bi-gay men existing (as well as any and every combination of sexuality and romantic attraction you can think of) because terfs and radfems deliberately don't want bi women to associate with lesbians and are deeply invested with framing attraction to men As Bad. a sentiment which has invaded queer culture inside and out, intentionally And incidentally.

people fixate on straight cis aromantic men when straight cis aromantic women exist because framing aromantic people as inherently predatory and dangerous by the simple nature of existing is easier to do when you intentionally force the association with predatory dangerous behavior displayed by (and associated with) misogynistic men.

people are still bigoted against bi-gay men and woman aromatics (and any flavor of trans within these groups), but pay attention to the way these conversations are Framed and it's clear the way gender essentialism is being used as a tool to control the narrative.

radfems' gender essentialism says you're supposed to think men are inherently scary, inherently take advantage of women, so Naturally (it is assumed) a man who is sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted them Must Inherently be predatory and scary. and now you're being asked to take that feeling of unease you've been manipulated into feeling and associate it with the entirety of a sexuality.

bi-lesbians are threatening to radfems because they want to draw inherent lines between these two groups. insist that attraction to and with a man is inherently dirty and dangerous. the same reason why "gold star lesbian" is a radfem concept. if it turns out that the lines between sexualities, between identity as a whole, is blurrier than they want it to be then that Must be framed as inherently dangerous.

if a single Kind of a marginalized group is being singled out to convince you that this group is dangerous or that they don't belong It's For A Reason. they're trying to manipulate you based on Biases (their biases and the ones they hope you have). the reaction to this isn't to abandon the type of person they're convinced are the worst of these groups, it's in solidarity.

aromantics who are men aren't any different from aromantics who are women, bi-lesbians deserve to live in peace just as much as bi-gay men. don't let people control the narrative Either by cutting down vast array of experiences that exist within any given identity, Or by convincing you that particular kinds of people within your communities are lesser than.

[feministakari]

Every time there's something about "straight passing" couples being not experiencing homophobia then bi people get pushed further away from their rightful community. Also this idea that trans men can perfectly pass and gain all privelages of a cis man.

People really need to take a good look at how much emphasis they place on the supposed "privelages" that someone who appears more cis and straight or male has over other LGBT people.

"Passing" in any way is entirely conditional and can be taken away the instant something slips or a stranger scrutinizes you enough. Walking on eggshells and hoping you aren't found out and risk facing violence is not this great privelage you may think it is.

Remember the trans panic defense? That realizing a sexual partner is trans is used as a defense to murder them? So they "passed" until they didn't, and it actually led to them being killed. Passing did not protect them.

Also there's this idea that any couple that appears to be man + woman will never get clocked as queer. That they can never be queer. That bisexuals don't have the same level of queerness as a lesbian woman or a gay man. But they do. They can be flamboyant, butch, femme, anything that any other queer person can be.

[kendrysaneela]

I figured I would make a character guide for anyone new to the boat throuple show (AKA Doctor Odyssey) or people who are thinking about watching.

Let’s start with the throuple (ship name Ody3)

Avery Morgan:

Sexuality: Unconfirmed but fandom headcanon as bisexual

Only one in the throuple in custody of the brain cell 24/7

Is an NP on ship she has 8 years of schooling

Initiated their first threesome

First one to bring up being a throuple to the boys

Made out with both boys in the first two episodes

Has worked with Tristan for three years

Had an ex husband who she knew since kindergarten who cheated on her with her best friend and the best friend and the ex husband have triplets now. She says she’s over the fact that this happened and that marriage leads to nothing but agony

Had to have her appendix removed by Max and Tristan in the middle of a hurricane on the cruise ship while it was rocking back and forth severely at one point Max had to brace himself with his feet on the wall.

Wants to perform because she wants to feel joy and be bold

Has two best friends she’s had since third grade who come to visit her on the ship (different from the one who is with her ex husband)

Has been to the Eras Tour three times with said friends

Queer lingo she identifies as during Gay Week: Femme

(Yes Gay Week is literally one of the themes of the week and they all do a queer lingo quiz beforehand to ensure they are all up to date and all state what they are yes this was a real scene)

Tristan Silva:

Sexuality: Unconfirmed but fandom headcanon as bisexual

Shares custody of the brain cell with Max

Is a Nurse on the ship

Mommy issues

First one to bring up the idea of wanting to have a threesome. Not with the three of them just in general.

Is the first one to accept Avery’s invitation to have a threesome when she initiates

Has been in love with Avery for years

Sweetest most caring man

Has worked on other cruise ships before the Odyssey

Favorite food is chicken tikka masala crisps (this is significant I promise)

Enjoys the male attention from all the gay men during Gay Week

Part of the weekly boys,butches and bis poker game

(Yes there is a canon weekly poker game named boys,butches and bis)

Queer lingo he identifies as during Gay Week: Twunk

Max Bankman:

Sexuality: Unconfirmed but fandom headcanon as bisexual

Ship’s doctor

Shared custody of the brain cell with Tristan. Tristan has the brain cell more often

Incredibly repressed

Third to join threesome

The Ody3 threesome is the second threesome he has had in his life

Was patient zero for COVID in Connecticut in 2020 (yes really that is actually his backstory)

Is sunshine in human form

Makes out with Avery in the pilot right in front of Tristan right after Tristan tells him he’s in love with her.

Watches from afar as Tristan and Avery kiss literally the next episode

Obsessed with rubber ducky pollution

Part of the weekly butches,boys and bis poker game

Queer Lingo he Identifies as during Gay Week: Everyone calls him Daddy but he says he’s a jock. Everybody tells him that’s not a thing and he is indeed a Daddy.

Captain Robert Massey:

Sexuality: Straight but a big queer ally always willing to learn

Captain of the ship

Has a gay polyamorous younger brother (played by John Stamos)

Knows lots of gay lingo willing to be quizzed on it

Seemingly an Ody3 shipper

Queer Lingo he Identifies as during Gay Week: Silver Fox

Rosie:

Sexuality: Lesbian

Chief Engineer of the ship

Doesn’t understand climate change

Lesbian/Bisexual solidarity with Corey

Is part of the weekly Boys,Butches and Bis Poker Game

Queer Lingo she Identifies as during Gay Week: Masc

Corey:

Sexuality: Bisexual

Head of Housekeeping

Always down for partying

Lesbian/Bisexual solidarity with Rosie

Is part of the weekly Boys,Butches and Bis Poker Game

Queer Lingo he Identifies as during Gay Week: Twink

Spencer Monroe:

Sexuality: Unknown

First Officer of the ship

Accidentally ate saltwater taffy with psilocybin in the middle of a hurricane once (not his fault he thought it was just normal saltwater taffy)

Part of the weekly boys,butches and bis poker game

Vivian Montgomery:

Sexuality: Unknown

Chef on the ship

First came on during a Wellness episode where her whole thing was making raw food

She said she didn’t actually like making raw food so the ship hired her to make food she could actually cook

Has also kissed Tristan. Avery is jealous about it. (I would not be disappointed if she made Ody3 Ody4 instead.)

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

“What should we do about people who are clearly not straight but insist they are?”

Well, nothing. We do nothing about that. 

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the frustration. No matter if this is a situation where they have a full-on fling with you and still insist that they are straight, or if it’s your friend who jokes so often that she wishes she could just be a lesbian that you don’t really think it’s a joke anymore, or even if it’s a celebrity who talks about how they had experiences with women and men and then goes on to call themselves a straight ally - sometimes you just wanna grab someone by the shoulders and tell them they are clearly lying to themselves and/or are not aware bisexuality exists. 

There’s nothing wrong with that feeling. Especially if you yourself had a difficult time coming to terms with your sexuality, you may want to save others those years of confusion. And there ARE people who lie to themselves or are not aware bisexuality exists. 

But - and this is an important but - coming to a point where they are able and willing to come out to themselves? That’s a journey everyone needs to go on themselves. 

Maybe you look back and wish someone would’ve grabbed you by the shoulder and went “You are gay, accept it”. It’s a comforting fantasy but in real life you can’t force an epiphany of self-discovery like that. You can’t have their epiphany for them. You can offer an open ear and share some information with them if (and only if!) they ask you for advice - but that’s all you can do. 

Next to “You can’t force an internal coming-out on someone who isn’t ready to have one yet”, there’s also another important point we need to consider here: It’s not our place or business to do anything about it. 

Maybe you feel like you see “all the signs” in that person, but it’s not your call to make. You don’t live their life, you can’t decide how they feel or how they want to label it. 

You can’t force a label on someone, and that goes both ways. You can’t tell a gay person they are actually straight, but you also can’t tell a straight person they are actually gay. Experiences do not always equal attraction, sexuality is a complex spectrum and feelings are messy anyway. 

This is of course especially hard to accept if there are feelings involved on your part, for example in that “making out with you at parties and then going home to their heterosexual partner” scenario. You may tell yourself you just need to wait until they are ready to come out as gay and then they’ll want to be with you for real - but that journey we talked about, that may also just end in the realization that, yep, they are straight. Questioning your sexuality, or even experimenting with it, doesn’t always end in a coming-out as gay/bi. 

With all that said, it really boils down to this: 

You can generally(!) advocate for things that make the journey easier for people to go on (for example more accessible education on sexuality). But when it comes to any one specific person, you don’t do anything - unless they explicitly ask you to. 

You can listen if they want to talk about any confusion they may feel regarding their sexuality, you can offer information and support if they ask you for help in figuring it out. But if they are not asking for help, you just accept they are on their own journey and know themselves best. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[rouge-the-bat]

people tend to be like "lol this guy is sooo in denial" if a straight person has sex with someone of the same gender, but actually. they really might not be.

people can have sex with others without being attracted to them, and they just want to have fun having sex.

or hell, they could just have the occasional exception of gay attraction, but its rare enough that theyd find it inaccurate/misleading to tell others theyre bi (and dont have interests in microlabels). them going on a dating site and saying theyre bi would expand the dating pool to a lot more people they would just have no interest in.

or, they may be bisexual but heteromantic, and when looking for relationships, they want to persue both romance and sex, so theyll just use straight to make it easier.

sexuality labels are used different from person to person, some use it to describe action, others use it to describe attraction, or a mix, or otherwise, or even use it just as a "close enough" to get whatever they want about themselves across to others simply.

i know "straight man who has sex with a man" and "straight woman who has sex with a woman" may initially come across as contradictory, or that theyre bi or gay in denial, but identities and their applications/uses are more complex than just a few set labels.

and i think we should trust what a stranger decides to identify themselves as, they know themselves better than others would. you can talk it over with them if you suspect they truly ARE in denial, but if they dont want to or still end up saying theyre straight, just accept it and move on.

and of course, this also applies to gay men who have sex with a woman or lesbians who have sex with a man. its not just "internalized biphobia" as the answer every time, and saying that its always that is very assumptive of people you dont even know.

other peoples lives and experiences can always be different than youd expect, and may even not make sense to you, but its THEIR life and identity to define. you can give them advice, but you cant force it on them, and certainly cant say what their identity TRULY is. only the person themselves can have a say in that.

[doubleca5t]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

see I can tell that this is a bad faith ask because I've been getting an influx of terfs on TikTok lately but I'll take the bait and answer this legitimately. I think the *actual* answer here is that sexuality is complex and even though we put a lot of labels on it, those labels are ultimately never going to account for every possible corner case and so rather than constantly redefining the terms of our sexuality I think it's better if we just embrace the messiness of it all as part of the game.

Like I consider myself a lesbian (and you would probably consider me a straight man) which *should* mean I'm only attracted to women. But I've also found myself attracted to drag queens and femboys and some non-binary folks who identify more on the masculine side of the spectrum. Does that mean I'm actually bisexual? I don't think so, because I don't feel any attraction to dudes (cis or trans) who aren't actively playing with gender in a way that's either flirting with femininity or wholeheartedly embracing it.

I imagine plenty of gay men have a similar experience seeing women who present very masculine or a non-binary person who's more on the femme side. And before you accuse me of insisting that lesbians can be attracted to men, there is a HUGE difference between saying that gender non-conforming people throw a wrench into people's sexual identities and saying that "lesbianism includes men".

In short, the reason why I don't have a definitive clear cut answer to your question is because I think human sexuality defies such an answer. I just so happen to be ok with that because I think it's a better, easier way to live

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

AOT Sexuality and Gender Headcanons

idc that no one asked for this you guys can chill I just wanted to share... may or may not have projected on a few... *cough* Annie *cough* Hange *cough*

Eren: straight; he/him pronouns; he’s an ally but he’s very clueless about it all; “Armin what’s a pronoun? OH! Yeah just normal one’s- well not that the other pronouns aren’t- I just… fuck. Yay gay! Wait, is that offensive?”

Mikasa: bisexual with a preference for men; she/her pronouns; her interactions with Sasha, Historia, and Annie were her bi awakenings fr, however her man Eren always comes first. 

Armin: okay controversial, but he’s panromantic guys, he just loves people; I could also see him being demisexual, only having sexual relationships with people he really really is intimate with; he/him or they/them pronouns, but he’s not necessarily nonbinary or gender queer, he just doesn’t care; “Do I like men and women? I like anyone even if they’re nonbinary! It’s about their hearts.”

Sasha: straight; she/her pronouns; definitely an ally; she buys Jean and Armin the craziest shit during pride month and thinks it’s so fun; wears a “my best friends are gay!” shirt to pride rallies

Connie: AROACE KING!; he/him pronouns; he literally couldn’t care less about sexual or romantic attraction, he just loves people platonically and that’s just not a problem for him

Jean: Maybe also controversial… but he’s bi with no preference; he/him; he just doesn’t like making his sexuality a big deal; he likes boys and girls because both are hot and that’s all there is to it

Annie: I feel like there’s not a lot of commentary on her sexuality, but I think she’s panromantic and asexual; pronouns are she/they; I just feel like she doesn’t like to be perceived… she just exists and it’s not that she doesn’t have sex, she totally would with her partners, she just doesn’t experience that sexual attraction, it’s just romantic and personality based

Reiner: bi (probably gay he just doesn’t know it yet) and internally homophobic (kind of joking…); he/him; he just… he’s confused guys, he’s trying his best right now

Bertholdt: I lowkey have no thoughts on him and I think that’s fine. I love him, however he’s probably one of the token straights, but one of the ones who doesn’t care; “Oh damn it’s pride month… yay!”

Levi: alright fam, as much as I love this fucker, he’s probably gay… *sighs*; he literally never talks about his sexuality or romantic relationships though, so it’s just not a big deal to him…. The only people who know his sexuality are Erwin (duh) and Hange; he/him pronouns; “what the fuck is a valentine…?” 

Erwin: he fluctuates in my mind between bi and gay so do with that what you will; he/him pronouns; he enjoys teasing and flirting guys what can I say!; “you’re looking especially dapper today Captain Levi” (said with the intent of sleeping with Levi tonight)

Hange: YIPPEE MY LOVE!; probably omnisexual though I have no idea what their preference would be (hopefully fem enbies not projecting or anything); obviously they/them pronouns, I think they’re both nonbinary and gender queer; “wait, not everyone is gay???”

Ymir: LESBIAN OF COURSE?; she/they pronouns; she just exists in a realm where her only love is Historia or else she’s not alive (awkward….); “I hate straight cis men”

Historia: she also teeters in my opinion… I don’t know if she’s fully lesbian or just bi so again, do with that what you will; she/her pronouns; “I just love love! But mainly Ymir”

[reinanova]

i have a few scenarios for you to consider

~~~

character: “i’m not straight”

fandom*: mmmm but what if you were

~~~

character: is bisexual in the comics

fandom: well, character isn’t explicitly stated to be bi in the movies, therefore character is straight

~~~

writer: yeah character is pan and has a dating history with all genders (and this wasn’t shown bcuz of xyz)

fandom: well, it doesn’t matter what the writer says, character is straight bcuz they’ve only dated the opposite gender on screen

~~~

character: is gay (either implied or explicitly stated to be homosexual and homoromantic)

fandom: well, maybe they’re homosexual but heteroromantic**, therefore i’m only going to ship this character with the opposite gender

~~~

character: is a lesbian

fandom: well, lesbians can still have sex with men therefore i’m going to write f/m smut with this lesbian and a man. not as a “figuring out/exploring my sexuality” fic but just bcuz i can

~~~

queer community: hey this character is canonically queer, could you please be respectful of that?

fandom: how about you go fuck yourselves. this is so embarrassing to be asking for respectful representation, literally shut the fuck up

~~~

character: is canonically gay

fandom: well you can’t prove he’s not attracted to women so he’s straight actually

~~~

disclaimers:

* i’m talking about a fandom as a whole in this post, not a couple individuals who may do this. this is talking about if a large chunk (think half or more) of a fandom is ignoring a canon queer identity

** no hate to someone who may identify this way. if someone is this identity, kudos to them, but people shouldn’t just use this as an excuse to ignore someone’s queer identity

this is how you sound when ignoring aspec*** identities. do you hear how ridiculous this is?

*** aspec (the way i use it at least) includes the asexual spectrum (ace-spec) and aromantic spectrum (aro-spec). also your friendly reminder that people can be aro and not ace and vise versa but you can’t ignore one or the other to suit your fancy

there will probably always be people doing this (re: ignoring canon queer identities) in fandoms, however, not in mainstream and popular ships and not to the extent that aspec identities are erased. bcuz if you have a problem with the above scenarios but not when the character is aspec, an already basically invisible identity, you need to re-examine your thinking and deal with your hypocrisy

do you know how hard it is to prove a LACK of something? even if someone straight up says, “i experience zero sexual or romantic attraction to anyone,” someone else will be like, “well how do you know you just haven’t found the right person yet?”

is the idea that someone doesn’t want a romantic or sexual relationship that difficult to understand?

if you want to see your identity represented in a character headcanon, great! but do so in a way that doesn’t negate another marginalized and underrepresented canon identity

there are SO! MANY! straight characters at your disposal. use one of them for your queer headcanons until we reach the point where your identity is canon. then you’ll probably be fighting for representation the same way i am right now

it also sucks to see fighting within the aspec community. bcuz yes aro and ace identities are a spectrum. however, when there’s a singular character with an aspec identity, you physically cannot showcase that spectrum. so if an ace character is sex-favorable, allos will believe all ace people are sex-favorable and ignore aces who are not. same thing for sex-repulsed aces and so on. the only solution is to fight for more aspec representation so everyone can see themselves in media without sacrificing parts of an aspec identity to fit how you identify

i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired of fighting for an ounce of representation. this should not be an uphill battle for people to accept aspec characters. i shouldn’t have to fight the queer community and straight people for this