#people on here know actual technical terms and ahhhhhh

[gromky]

motogp tumblr scary to me bc everyone actually knows what they’re talking about. closest i ever came to being current was ​was back in 2011 when i came home from school excited to watch the race and my dad was like so something not great happened on the track today

[accioromione]

Prompt: Ron looking at his and hermiones zodiac signs to see their compatibility when he’s in divination lol

Ahhhhhh!!!! Okay

Title: A Virgo and a Pisces (Takes place in fourth year before the goblet of fire says Harry’s name somewhere between ch 14 and 15 of GOF lol) 

‘Alright young minds, turn to chapter fourteen please’ professor Trewlawny said dreamily.

‘Today we will look upon the stars to see our inner selves!’

Ron opened his Divination textbook to chapter fourteen, which was titled “Astrology- Zodiac Characterisics”

‘Now only a few posess the gift of astrology, to be able to read the stars is not an easy task, but ancient astrologists who possessed the power of sight were able to understand the stars and the planets, and those born where the stars align into different shapes have different characteristics, is anyone here aware of their zodiac? And some characteristics that accompany it?’

Parvarti’s hand shot up in the sky

‘Yes my dear,’ said Professor Trelawney.

‘I’m a Capricorn! They’re supposed to be hard-working,’

‘Ahhh yes,’ said Professor Trelawney said, ‘the sea-goat’ she continued, and she emphasized her point by curling up her hands to make what appeared to be an imitation of horns at the front of her forehead.

‘Yes they are said to be very hard working, alas every capricorn I have known has died due to a work related illness,’ she continued, making parvarti look absolutely terrified, ‘but it is a good characteristic indeed, ten points to Gryffindor house.’

‘Anyone else?’ professor Trelawney continued, and many other hands shot into the air. She picked on Draco Malfoy’s.

‘Well, my birthday is June 5th, I suppose that’s a Gemini.’ Draco said, ‘I know we’re meant to be charming and whimsical.’

‘Ahhh yes the twins, very two- faced they say the Gemini’s are, those in astrology are very careful to trust Gemini’s. They are very untrustworthy indeed. Gemini’s are by far the most manipulative, superficial and deceitful of any zodiac. This leads to their downfall of course, most Gemini’s die by murder you see. Really a pity. 10 points to Slytherin.’

Draco looked furious, Ron and Harry sniggered.

‘And you two?’ Trewlaney asked, which caused Ron and Harry to stop laughing.

‘I’m March 1st- so I reckon I’m a Pisces’ Ron said, ‘used to see those astrology things on the daily profit’

‘Ahhh yes the fish,’ Trelawney said, and she put her hands on her cheeks to imitate a fish swimming.

‘Very passionate... very laid back but can be very temperamental, they are also very intuitive and empathetic. I quite like the fish. Be weary however, this empathy leads to great downfall, the Pisces are very trusting and often betrayed by those they trust most.’

Ron raised his eyebrows at Harry jokingly.

‘And you dear?’ Trelawney said turning to Harry.

‘I’m a Leo,’ Harry said.

‘Ah no surprise, the Lion.’ Trelawney said, licking the top of her hand as if she were a cat.

‘Yes, very brave the lions are, ready to dominate any task they set out to do. But alas, very VERY egotistical, this leads to their downfall as they tend to overestimate their abilities and refuse to accept any forms of critistism. They tend to die at an early because their confidence causes them to believe that they alone can do the most dangerous of tasks, shame.’

‘She might be on to something,’ Ron whispered, Harry elbowed him.

‘Unfortunately the time is something my eye can foresee but not control, we are out of time today. Your homework will be to write an essay on your zodiac sign, I would like you to use this book as well as other astrology resources you can find in the library to write about the characteristics of your zodiac. Please include good and bad character traits, which is in chapter fifteen. I would also like you to write about related careers, friendships, romantic relationships, and of course, the way your sign will lead to your ultimate death. For your romantic relationships, you should do it based on your sign compatibility in the book. The last part of chapter seventeen states the sign you are most romantically compatible with. It should be a minimum of four pages and a maximum of six pages, and you should show a clear astrological understanding of everything, you’re all dismissed.’

The class got up and Ron and Harry walked to the Great hall for lunch, they saw Hermione with two empty seats beside her.

‘How was divination?’ Hermione asked as the two took their seats.

‘Actually not bad, Astrology is pretty interesting, and she wasn’t too far off about Harry.’ Ron jokingly said, plating some food.

Hermione rolled her eyes, ‘Astrology is a bunch of make-believe it’s not backed up by any real science Ron.’

‘Sounds like something a Virgo would say,’ Ron joked.

‘How’d you know I’m a Virgo?’ Hermione asked.

‘The inner eye? I dunno- your birthday’s September 19... that’s a Virgo is it not?’ Ron asked, putting a spoonful of food in his mouth, Hermione looked at him curiously.

‘Yes... but how did you know? Most people only know their own signs.’ Hermione stated matter of factly.

‘I know Harry’s too, it’s the same as Ginny’s. No wonder you’re both mental.’ said Ron to Harry and Harry rolled his eyes.

‘Oh so is someone in your family a Virgo then?’ Hermione asked.

‘Er-no,’ Ron said, his ears red. The truth was that the reason he knew that Hermione was a Virgo was because he liked to read the horoscopes on the daily profit sometimes, and some days he would be curious as to what Hermione’s would say.

‘Percy was a day off from being a Virgo though, he’s technically a Leo-Virgo mix. Oh god, Percy’s what you get if you mix you two together,’ Ron added pointing at them, ‘makes sense in an odd way.’

‘Hey!’ Harry said indignantly.

‘I don’t make the rules, the stars do mate,’ Ron said matter of factly before putting another spoonful of food in his mouth.

‘The stars,’ Hermione scoffed, ‘pathetic.... it’s all made up... they make general terms that can apply to everyone.’

‘I dunno,’ Harry said picking up a spoonful of food and placing it in his own mouth, ‘She was pretty accurate about Malfoy,’ Harry sniggered. 

‘You can’t assume someone’s personality by the day they’re born, it’s completely illogical.’ Hermione stated, ‘Anyways I’m off to Arthimancy, a subject that is based on ACTUAL facts.’ She picked up her books and walked away. 

‘Such a fun girl, always a good time with Hermione.’ Ron said before picking up another spoonful of food. 

‘I can’t believe she wants us to write a four paged essay,’ Harry said, taking a swig of his juice. 

‘Yeah, characteristics I understand...But relationships? Now we have to talk about a whole other zodiac too,’ said Ron. 

‘Actually,’ Harry said taking out his Divination textbook, ‘I wonder who I’m compatible with....’ 

‘Do you even know Cho’s birthday?’ Ron asked, and Harry kicked him, Ron knew that Harry had developed a crush on the Ravenclaw seeker. 

‘Let’s see.....’ Harry said flipping through the book.. ‘Oh Leo okay there....Leo’s are compatible with Leo’s?’ 

‘Makes sense,’ said Ron, ‘egotistical and all, hey Ginny might stand a chance after all.’ 

‘Let's see you then,’ Harry said, annoyed that his zodiac stereotype was so vain it had to be compatible with itself. 

‘Okay Pisces lets see,’ Harry smirked at he looked read the book. 

‘Well? Go on,’ Ron said, tagging a swig of his own juice. 

‘Virgo,’ Harry said sniggering and Ron spit out his juice. 

‘Well-’ Ron sputtered, ‘I reckon Hermione’s right, this is all made up.’ 

‘Ah agreeing with your soul mate, very cute Ron.’ Harry said and Ron’s ears turned red. 

‘You’re taking the mickey,’ said Ron, grabbing the book from Harry. But when he looked down at the text in front of him, he saw that Harry was very much telling the truth, according to the book, a virgo was the sign he was most compatible with. 

Harry was sniggering, and Ron gave him a death stare. Hermione was HIS FRIEND. And she was a down pain sometimes, he loved her very much. But as a FRIEND. She wasn't ugly by any means....Actually...she had gotten even more good looking over the summer...and more curvaceous.... which Ron had tried not to notice too much... Wait what...What was he thinking? He shouldn't have been thinking about how curvaceous Hermione had gotten! 

‘Well reckon this is going to be an interesting essay at least,’ Harry said, ‘can’t believe she’s only giving us two days to do it.’ 

‘Yeah what’s that about? Mcgonagall is up our arses, Flitwick expects us to do all those charms and we've barely been back yet!’ said Ron annoyed. 

Harry nodded his head in agreement. 

------

That night Ron and Harry sat in the common room working on their essays. Hermione was in a chair by the fireplace, with her head buried in a piece of parchment, also writing furiously. 

‘How are we supposed to make this four pages?’ Ron asked Harry, ‘the book barely says anything, it just states character traits and who you’re compatible with.’ 

Harry flipped through the pages in his Divination textbook, ‘you’re right, should we go to the library?’ 

‘Might as well, I don't want to work on this any more than I have to already.’ Ron said picking up his quill and parchment, Harry followed suit. 

‘We're going to the library Hermione, want to come?’ Ron asked, Hermione looked up from her parchment and raised her eyebrows. 

‘You two are going to the library?’

‘Is that not what I just asked? Unless you want to write our divination essays for us.’ Said Ron, and Hermione frowned. 

‘No I do no not...to writing the essays...but alright to the library! I can finish Ancient Runes there, I like their big tables!’ Hermione said eagerly picking up her rucksack and getting off the chair. 

‘Right,’ said Ron, rolling his eyes at Hermione’s now beaming face. ‘You’d have think I asked her to go on a trip,’ Ron said to Harry as she eagerly chased behind them. 

The three of them made their way towards the library, Ron looked around for the Astrology section. 

‘Let's see....Ancient Runes.... oh Hermione would love this..okay okay... aha Astrology!’ said Ron, and Harry and him browsed books together. Both of them found some books that were along the lines they were looking for. 

Ron found two books, one called Compatibility of the Constellations and the other called, Constellations and Careers. Harry found two books as well, one called, The Fundamental Traits the Zodiacs, and the other called Astrology: The Signs and their Meanings. 

Both Ron and Harry took a seat at the long table Hermione was sitting at, buried deep into her work. Ron and Harry knew better than to disrupt Hermione when she was in work mode. 

Ron took out Compatibility of the Constellations and started to read. Skipping any part that didn’t show Pisces..he flipped through until he saw the mentioning of Pisces. To his luck he found exactly what he was looking for, explaining why he was compatible with certain signs as friends, Ron smiled approvingly when he saw Leo as being very compatible with Pisces as friends. He showed it to Harry who smiled back. Harry was reading The Fundamental Traits the Zodiacs and could hear him scoff a few times as he wrote on his parchment. Ron read further down, until he reached a subheading that said, The Romantic Lives of Pisces, and just like the Divination book told him, this book also implied that he was compatible with Virgos. He read further and almost hiccoughed at the sub-title. Dating and Sexual Life of Virgo and Pisces. 

What the hell was Trelawney asking for here? Ron continued to read, 

Pisces can let go, let it be, and just live in the moment, which is something that Virgo deeply struggles to do, as they tend to want to control everything

Well they’re not wrong, Ron thought to himself, writing this down. 

Pisces can encourage Virgo to become more laid back and less strung. Most Virgos are workaholics who make little to no time for leisure and pleasure activities.

Ron looked up at Hermione, who was was writing madly and grinned down and wrote down this very true statement. 

Most people of other zodiac signs do not understand the pressure Virgo goes through; however, Pisces’ sensitive nature can pick up on what their Virgo partner is feeling or thinking. Pisces possess just the right amount of compassion to know what to do to soothe the tension in their Virgo partner. Pisces can remove Virgo’s stress and worry, and encourage Virgo to relax, let go, and enjoy the present moment. Patience and trust in the greater good are what Pisces can teach Virgo.

Ron wondered if he truly did do this for Hermione.... she was definitely not the same Hermione from first year, sure she was still high strung, but compared to first year she was indeed much more patient and easy going. Could this really have been due to him? Or was it just age? 

It will be essential for them to resolve any issues in the relationship as soon as any problems arise as if it is left unresolved resentment can build, and because both signs tend to favor isolation, they can completely isolate themselves from each other. They need to remember what made them fall in love with each other initially, and not focus on the negatives in the relationship. Each of them can bring fulfillment to the other’s life, but they must keep their eye on the bigger picture, and not worry about frivolities.

Ron grinned, remembering the Crookshanks and Scabbers fiasco that had happened just last year. 

When a Virgo dates a Pisces, they will have an emotional depth and connection between them that only some dream to have. Virgo partners lack confidence in sexual matters, which they hide under their rational minds and cool, calm exterior. Pisces can also be shy during physical connections, and they will instantly dismiss the shyness of their partner through mutual understanding. Their sexual lives will be governed by their inherent need for a passionate relationship, which will be free from judgment and filled with love.

Ron decided he was not going to write that part down. He had looked at Hermione in a more sexual light admittedly when he had seen her developed body over the summer. He had never really thought how Hermione would be in bed, Hermione lacking confidence was something Ron never really saw, he always took her to be a rather confident girl, but this was admittedly only with school and facts. She never really mentioned her looks. And was he shy? He’d never been with a girl...however, the thought of approaching a girl did intimate him, so maybe he was shy. But passionate love? Ron laughed, he couldn't imagine making passionate love with Hermione... he was fourteen...he’d never even snogged a girl. But everything else was pretty bang on.... could it be? Him and Hermione? 

He looked up to take a peak at her...she looked rather cute when she was focused...wait what was he thinking? The astrology was affecting him... This wasn't his true thoughts, or was it? Could Hermione truly be the one for him...And even if she was, was he the one for her? Why had he decided to take Divination.

Hermione was right, Divination was a bunch of nonsense. 

Him and Hermione compatible, as if. 

(FUN FACT THAT ASTROLOGY READING WAS STRAIGHT UP TAKEN FROM AN ASTROLOGY WEBSITE I DIDNT MAKE IT UP MYSELF LOL) 

[ryuichirou]

The serial k au is fckin amazing! I need mooore ahhhh it’s so so soooo fckin interesting and good and your art is superb as always and ahhhhhh 💖❤️💖❤️💖💖❤️❤️

This crazy obsessed dark ere and eru + levi combo is top tier hnnngh i crave for more thanks so muuuuch

Thank you so much Anon!!! I’m so happy you like the idea and how the comic looks!!

The fact that you enjoy dark ere and eru + levi combo means a lot, as you can see this is one of our most favourite things in the world… 🙏💖 Erwin and Eren are so different, yet so messed up and so obsessed with Levi… I’d LOVE to draw more, this is like one of my most favourite AUs!!

Katsu:

Here’s a little bit of plot for you (and others): in this AU Levi's a part of a special investigations department. It's like SC in terms of weirdos and unusual solutions, but it's actually a very high productive department which solves most difficult cases. Not very often though, they might not solve a single crime in two years or something, which is something the FBI or whatever (Nile is a part of this one) complains about a lot. Nile doesn’t complain though, he knows Erwin’s a weirdo and stuff. Erwin is technically the head of that department, Levi’s his right hand, they’re both detectives, something like that.

They get to the crime scene, where a bunch of rich important people (CEOs, lawyers, judges, you name them) are dead and killed in the most brutal ways possible in their summer cottage. It's obvious (to Levi, at least) that the killer is an amateur and all those murders were done out of pure rage, and that, spoiler, the criminal isn't very smart (well, Eren’s 15 here). It’s impossible for them to find the culprit: he left no evidence, his way of entering the house is a mystery (the FBI couldn’t figure it out, but Erwin and Levi did. Armin helped Eren by accident with this one, that's why his way of entering was too smart for the FBI guys), and, most importantly, he has no motive. No one can see the connections between all those rich people, so that's why the investigation leads to a dead end (or so it seemed).

Four years later Erwin hits a jackpot and sends Levi to another party of the same kind, and his guess is that those people who died and these people here are a part of a human (and child) trafficking, which is a theory he's been working on for several years. He's mesmerized that a murderer knows about that too, so one of his most important conditions for Levi in undercover is to keep Eren alive at all costs (and, preferably, one of the rich folk, since they need someone as a witness). It’s very dangerous for Levi, since he can be killed either by people in the cottage or Eren. He's strong, but situations like this can be tricky even for him. The checked the house, but it seemed safe.

The party turns out to be booby trapped.

Enjoy the cliffhanger, although you have seen the comic and know that Eren and Levi survive.

[ones-delight]

I unfortunately won’t have therapy until the end of this month (I should have scheduled one earlier this month ugh lmao I thought one later this month would be better) so I’m doing what my therapist suggested, write down all what’s going through my head even if it doesn’t make sense to help bring myself back to reality. lol. I’m very much lost in my own sauce of feelings and thoughts. it’s allllll about my ex again so ugh lmao. My main anxieties are just feelings about my ex and what’s coming up this semester.

I’m currently in my apartment in Iowa City since we’re about to start back up my usual routine. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now which is nice because I’ve been trying to take my time to relax and get myself mentally prepared for this upcoming semester. I’m also low key glad I’m having these overwhelming anxieties right now instead of later this week. I need to ask my therapist again what exactly I am feeling (if it’s like a panic attack because i truly dont know) because I’ve been feeling hella anxious the past few days (in general) and yesterday my anxiety was so intense that I barely ate and I felt sick to my stomach. idk if others have the same too but when I also get hella anxious, all I want to do is go to the bathroom so tmi lmao. I feel this way now and I just cannot stop crying so again, I’m just writing everything that’s going through my mind lmao.

#1) Related to my ex, heart break

Yeah.. I literally keep talking about this/him and I’m glad I have multiple outlets that I can say what’s going through my mind because if I keep these thoughts to myself, I keep spiraling. I’m also very thankful I have multiple strong support systems from people where it truly doesn’t get annoying to them when I keep talking about him/my overall heart break/healing journey. I know I don’t want to burden my friends with my own thoughts (it can be a lot) so overall very thankful for friends, family, and my therapist lmao. 

I think the last time I talked about my heart break was the letter I wrote to him. I wrote it and sent it to him lmao. I also wrote his mom a letter in Spanish because I want to stay connected with her and very thankful she reciprocates the same energy, Apparently, he never received the letter even though I sent it over 3 weeks ago, but anyways yeah that’s a story I will tell later in this post. Anyways, it’s legit easier said than done to completely stop checking on his social media. I was doing great before winter break. Now that winter break has happened (still kind of is for a few more days), I have relapsed where I was checking very often. The break was great since I got to spend quality time with family, however, unfortunately being back in Wichita still floods a lot of my emotions where there are still a lot of memories of him and I that still makes me feel sad (luckily no longer sobbing about but I do still feel some type of way. It’s getting better thankfully). It also hurts that he’s making new memories with his new girlfriend Kylie so I was def feeling all sorts of things. Sorry, I’m trying to go onto chronologize order of events that have happened. I’m jumping back and forth lmao 

First, did I mention his mom called me the day before Christmas? I was SHOOOOOK when I saw her name on my phone. I legit froze because I wasn’t sure if it was actually her so I accidently missed her call. I’m so glad she left a voicemail so I could listen first and immediately call her back LMAO. But basically, she wanted to check in to see how I was doing, wish me and my family a merry christmas/happy new year, and asked if I could come see her. We joked a bit back and forth like how she was learning English for me while I’m learning Spanish for her. lmao. so after this phone call, I wrote her a letter to update her on what I’ve been doing. I wrote it all in Spanish since that’s her primary language so thank god for google translate. overall, I told her about how I’m about to earn my masters degree in may, I’ve lost now 30 lbs of weight/having a better relationship with food, how I’m honestly still hurt about her son cheating on me (I was in my feels. You know if you ever get those feelings like you want your mom? She legit is like a mom to me since my mom isn’t an active part of my life so yeah I guess you can say I got mommy issues but anyways) I also told her that if she’d still like me to come over, I’d love to come over and see her.

Few days go by, I’ve been creeping onto his social media, it stings to see how he has flaunted his relationship with Kylie. It hurts because I keep playing this comparison game because he truly has NEVER allowed me to post about us and he would himself refuse to post about us on his social media. So, just to see how he’s been basically spending every single day with her and posting her throughout all of his social media, makes me feel an extreme type of way. during new years, she had a party at her house where it was him, her, his brother paco (which I was SHOOOK because she met paco and not everyone has ever met paco, who is his oldest brother), miguel and his girlfriend (both are super cute btw), Blake (surprisingly), and Erik. I felt some kind of way because obviously I know they would share a new years kiss even tho they’ve only been dating for literally a month. I dated him for 3 years and NEVER got a new years kiss (because he wanted to be with bros). Valentines day is coming up and it’d be their “two month” anniversary and I just KNOW he’d actually put EFFORT into spending that day with her. 3 years I dated this guy and he never ONCE did ANYTHING for me for valentines day. ok I’m getting more hurt thinking how he’s treating his other girls better than me so anyways BACK TO THE TOPIC

few days go by and I got another call from his mom. I actually picked up this time because I was really excited to hear her voice again. I legit would die for this woman legit #1 mom. She asked if she could see me and I happily said yes. It really means a lot that she still gives me the same energy that she gave me when I was still dating her son. One of the hardest parts of us breaking up was the potential of losing his family too because they are all truly good people and I am NOT the CEO of letting people go lmao. okay back to subject, I had TONS of anxiety driving over to her house because I had so many thoughts. I asked on the phone if 1.) is Lalo there. She said no. 2.) Is Paco there. No, he apparently flew back to California that morning. I was low key hoping paco would be there still because it would be cool to catch up with him but anyways my main concern was if eduardo was there so since he wasn’t, I was like “ok vroom vroom let’s go” lmao. WOWOWOWWO seeing her just made my heart so happy. She def has a lot more gray hairs since the last time I saw her lmao she’s the cutest anyways, I’m really shook that HIS DAD FREAKING HUGGED ME. THIS MAN NEVER USUALLY HUGS ANYONEEEEEEEEEEE. Typically how we greet each other, it’s like a wave from a distance and we obvi acknowledge each other. so WOOOOW I was very thankful and shook he hugged me. Anyways, his mom showed me around the house with the Christmas decorations, I noticed her birds were still doing well, she even showed me her new plants she got lmao. We sat at the dining room table and talked and ate mexican snacks. She has broken English and I have broken Spanish so literally thank god for dualingo because it has helped me. I love how when we are together, we talk really slow and try to annunciate for each other LMAOOO. Anyways, THIS WOMAN ALSO GOT ME A STOCKING filled with Mexican Candy. omg this woman i love her so much. Anyways, I showed my tattoos to her and she legit wanted to murder me lmao but she says she likes them but hates them at the same time. She also sat me down and we had a serious conversation in terms of how she sees me. She said that I am no longer known as lalo’s novia, what I am to her is a daughter. I am evelyn’s sister and yo boi that got me crying in the club because that’s what I would love to have, to maintain my relationship with them . Okay, to kind of speed things up, basically we kept talking about Evelyn’s quinceanera that’s happening this year AHHHHHH, dropped Evelyn off and her friend to a friend’s quince, and his mom took me to eat at paleterias tropicana where I tried elote for the first time and had a jugo verde WOOOOOW SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. literally cannot stop thinking about it. Anyways, random note, I noticed my old K-State beanie in the car and his mom said it was Evelyn’s. It gave me a weird feeling because it was originally mine that he gifted me on our first Christmas together but obviously I knew he wouldn’t keep it so I’m not suprised he gave it to Evelyn. It made me wonder then what did he do to the other gifts that he originally gave me but I gave it back to him once we broke up.. okay that was a tangent, anyways, that was it with the night with his mom and ughhh it was a really fun night and I really am looking forward to seeing her again.

Now fast forward to now-ish, me not doing good of not checking his social media, I got triggered because they now made it “facebook officlal” that they are dating. it triggered me because again, he refused to publicize our relationship and it really threw me off that they’ve only been dating for a month (technically interested in each other since October, started dating November) and already publicizing they are together. they moving hella quick and basically, I got hella bitter. I felt reckless and I texted him. I KNOW I shouldn’t have texted him because I immediately felt a sense of regret after but also low key glad I did text him. ugh i hate me lmao. Anyways, i texted him and he asked if he could call me so I said yes. Luckily, the conversation was better than I expected because it was simply like two old friends catching up. It was a really good feeling even tho I’m honestly still hurt about the way that he treated me. It caught me by suprised when he said that he has talked about me with Kylie and he actually stated that he knows what he did and feels regretful for the choices he made. That was a huge shocker and I do still have trust issues because I try to take things that he says with a grain of salt. He may be saying things to me that I want to hear but it’s not the truth so anyways lmao. Our conversation was good and it really got me thinking what exactly am I doing/how am I really feeling.

I really am happy for him. Yes i’m still deeply hurt and feel a type of way about how he treated me, but I can’t do anything about the past and all I can do is just simply be happy for him. I will always love him without a doubt, but he isn’t my person. I hope this doesn’t come off as selfish but he will never find someone better than me, he is simply finding someone better suited for him. What helps me the most about this is thinking about ME because that’s the situation for him, however, I know I will find someone better than him because I deserve the best.

I felt bad for asking because I am just fucking nosy and I’m glad he was okay with me asking about what happened with his relationship with Lila (the girl he left me for) and how did he start dating Kylie. He shared with with me that even though it was all great in the beginning with Lila (and let me tell you dude, he totally was hella infatuated with her lmao), they started becoming two different people. She apparently wasn’t emotionally there for him when he needed her (IRONICCCCCCCCCCCCC BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW HE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT OUR 3 YEARS TOGETHER) and she ended the relationship. It did make me sad to hear because everyone needs support and it is sad when you go to someone for support and they don’t give you it, ya know? anyways, he said with Kylie, they’ve been friends for two years (I knew who she was when we were together but they’ve always only been friends since they worked at the Sunflower together. This will sound extremely bad but I never thought about her being a girl to worry about because she did a lot of “white” things that we make fun of white people for and so it kind of shocked me that he is dating her now but anyways) apparently he said that “they were hanging out and next thing he knows is that he kissed her and that’s how they started dating.” dude didn’t want to go into detail which was fine but I’m also in my head like “ok lmao you literally just got broken up by your ex and then immediately start hanging out with another girl? ok” ANYWAYS, I really am happy for him and wish him the best. 

It was cool to hear about what he’s hoping to do. He shared a lot more detail than usual which again caught me by surprise. Anyways, he shared that he is currently looking for a new place to live (a house to rent) somewhere in college hill (conveniently where Kylie also lives lmao) with Erik. He is also hoping to find another job soon because things at KWCH are no longer making him feel happier so he’s looking to see if he can work for a non-profit org which makes me happy for him because I’d also want to do the same. If I’m at a job where I’m not excited to be, I’d want to also try to make a switch. He also shared that junior (martin, his little brother) will be moving to Cali in May to move close to paco which wow made me really happy for them all. Anyways, he shared that he is hoping to stay in Wichita for about one more year and then possibly relocating to KC or somewhere in Oklahoma. i did encourage him KC because it seems that KC has much more opportunities than Wichita and Oklahoma. Only thing we both hate is driving in KC lmao

Okay, so overall, I’m still really hurt about how our relationship was and how it ended but I’m very grateful that I’m doing what is best for me to make progress because this is not an overall easy thing to do, move on. I do feel low key embarrassed that I still am not over our break up but I’m very glad that I know that He isn’t my person. we will and I cannot get back together with him even if he stated that he has “changed” Yes i invested so much in him to be my forever partner and it didn’t work out but that’s okay. I’m always willing to invest in people to be the best version of themselves and it really makes me happy to see people thrive. I truly cannot and will not take him back if there was ever a time where he wanted to give us a second try because I need to remember how he treated me. If he really was always thinking it was me, then he shouldn’t have cheated on me, treated me so poorly. I’m okay with us remaining friends, but as partners in life? that isn’t it. I deserve so much better and the man of my dreams will come. I’m 10000000% okay with being single because I know I need to work on myself so that I can be fully ready for my next. I really wish my next relationship is my one and only, but hey we’ll see. 

so this is already extremely long but I’m very glad I got this all out of me. I know I have other anxieties such as starting school again, which will be my last semester before I earn my masters (FINALLY), RA training coming back up (so me working is coming back), JOB SEARCH. So much is coming up and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to get my head into gear. 

[lunawings]

I... RECOVERED MY NEOPETS ACCOUNT........................ whathaveidone

(long)

So apparently Neopets like THAT Neopets had some HUGE drama recently, like the most drama it’s EVER had despite the fact that it’s literally half broken with Flash support being dropped and yet people REALLY FREAKING CARE about it so much that they literally sell pets for hundreds of dollars and I found that to be... incredibly interesting. 

Although my very first account has been long lost to the winds of time (probably purged), I first began playing Neopets sometime around the summer of 2000 and it was a HUGE part of my life. I quit sometime in 2005 after some drama with a Neofriend made me just not really feel like playing anymore. The last time I logged in was 2008 to update my email and the site ran so sluggishly with the ads I just gave up. At that time I didn’t actually even know about the conversion that had taken place. The first time I heard the term “UC Neopet” was literally a week ago while watching this amazing video by possibly the best Neopets YouTuber.

So although the ads problem has technically not changed, nowadays thanks to ad blockers it’s no longer an issue! With a Chrome extension and short adjustment period, Neopets is almost exactly how I remember it....... after all these years..................

I was able to recover two of my side accounts by email. One of them appears to have been hacked, with all my pets nowhere to be found.... (And sadly I don’t remember their names to check out where they’ve gone.) The second account was an account I made specifically to adopt a Lutari! Other than that it had no rare pets, so they were all intact... although they weren’t pets I remembered too well. I think they were just pets I adopted from the pound with good names. 

My main account... was no longer associated with my email, even though I had evidence that I had updated it all those years ago. My heart sank. This was what I was afraid of. Shaking, I typed the username into the search and... there it was. My old account. With all my old pets. It still existed. 

I contacted support and after a little back and forth I got them to send me a temporary password. I logged in and...

There they were. My most prized pets. My Draik. My Krawk! They were all there!!! And I even had a somewhat decent amount of NP in the bank too?

So I really have no idea what happened. If someone did hack my account, I have no idea what they were in there to do? Maybe I loaned my account to someone at some point and forgot about it? Whatever the case... They’re all back. I’M BACK! For YEARS I’ve been wondering if my account still existed. After I heard Neopets started purging inactive users the idea of looking up my old Neopets and finding they’d been wiped from existence was TERRIFYING. Despite not having seen them in ages they’re... they’re my babies.... and I left them dying for FIFTEEN YEARS because I was afraid...... AHHHH--

And to top it all off the lab ray finally changed one of my pets back to male which I had literally been trying to do for YEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRSSS finally completing his lab ray training so I could morph him back into his original species. And with enough NP left over to buy the Ghost Paint Brush I always wanted for my other pet too. AHHHHHH

So at first I was like..... WHATHAVEIDONE but now... I think this was a good decision. I have zero interest in NeoCash nor any of the stuff that didn’t exist back in the day. There are no must-have UC pets for me, and most of my old dreamies aren’t even my dreamies anymore because of the converted art. All there is for me to do is just play games, do dailies, and spend time with my wonderful pets. It’s another thing besides Reddit and Tumblr I can do while I’m sitting in a waiting room or riding a bus. The mobile site, or rather what they made of it so far, isn’t bad. Good lord smartphones did not even exist the last time I played Neopets. What I would not have GAVE to play Neopets anytime anywhere in 2003.............

So, the reason I asked if anyone here played Neopets was actually because I was hoping to find other active users I could talk to about how much my VWN pets (...I’m learning the lingo) may be worth, if there is anywhere legit to trade (I heard bad things about Pound Chat), and other things. (I also just wanted to see if anyone would know what I was talking about if I brought up Neopets.) But regardless I’m delighted to see the neopets tag on Tumblr is actually fairly active. I shouldn’t have been surprised! I mean... Tumblr and Neopets users definitely seem like they would have relevant interests and significant overlap. (Down with the ship and all...) So if you are a Neopets blog like this post and I may follow you!

So that’s my Neopets rant. Good night. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[mysplaced-pen]

How about headcanons for this: The RFA and them finding out the MC is a "Forever" style immortal (i.e. whenever they die they wake up naked in the nearest body of water and they stopped aging the first time they died.)

sure thing, anon! also thanks for clearing that up, I have no idea what that is >.> I hope I get this right! ^^; it also might be short, since i don’t know much about this topic;;;

woah rfa, so no saeran! also, i’m assuming that this probably happened to mc already and like the rfa is finding out…yes? oh well

zen

so get this, they were sharing childhood pictures and zen notices something weird about mc’s pictures

like, they’re really old pictures. older than his 

but mc totally said they were like, 23 

he doesn’t want to seem too weird, so he casually asks

“hey mc, when’s your birthday? I want to know your star sign..and your chinese zodiac” smooth move, zen 

and they answer their full birthday because chinese zodiacs need those 

now, zen isn’t the best with math, but he knows that year would not make them 23

it took a minute for mc to realize what they said though

they both stare at each other for a bit before mc breaks the silence with a profound “um..” 

and now they have to explain while zen is trying to wrap his head around this

“wait, so you’re…not 23?” duh zen, catch up “technically, no. physically, yes.” 

at the end of that discussion, he kind of comes to terms with it 

is kind of sad that they have to live forever, so his selfie habits get worse is this the first time i mentioned his selfies? i think so wow

believe it or not, he also gets cheesier. “i want to leave the biggest impression on you”

yoosung

he needs the most time to wrap his head around it

it was one of those nights where they were spilling secrets about themselves and mc couldn’t help but tell the whole story

at first, he doesn’t believe them. it’s too crazy

but they start bringing up more pieces of evidence and now he’s just amazed

they spend the rest of the night cuddling and telling happier stories

guess what happens the next day, though?

yoosung bought a polaroid 

that’s right, it’s about the be Aesthetic 

but seriously, he just wants tangible pictures in their hands as soon as they take them

because it’s so present and in the moment

and that’s where he is with mc

even if they spent a while doing other things, meeting other people

they mean so much to him and he hopes he can mean as much to them 

jaehee

she is…surprised, to say the least 

honestly, she doesn’t spend too much time thinking about how it happens to mc, but rather how time is so weird and both limited and unlimited

how she found out, was because she was gathering data on mc and decided to find their birthday

she dug up some interesting stuff, like wow 

tells mc what she found and they’re kind of embarrassed, but they tell her everything

now, she’s more open with pda and with herself in general 

admittedly, she’s much happier than she was before

and it’s all thanks to mc

so it becomes her mission to return the favor 

time is a Lie, so she wants mc to feel like the time with her is forever

jumin

is interested in the concept

look, he reads weird books, i’m sure he read at least one of these

mc is now going to be Extra Spoiled

call him materialistic, but materials last forever and mc can keep them forever

takes more time off because “i have to spend as much time as i can with my spouse, you don’t understand”

really tries extra hard to sort out his feelings and mc is actually really helpful with this

they like to read with him and knit and stuff, they are the cutest

jumin knits too, he made them a scarf 

basically, everything becomes like 5 times more domestic 

learns to take proper pictures too 

because wow! he needs 8454754 pictures of mc in his phone now 

707 / luciel / saeyoung

ahhhhhh

now he has the desire to live long 

so much that he actually starts taking care of himself 

“we will get married at the space station, it can be our 4th wedding if we need it to be, we will get there”

he made a robot version of himself

and a game of just him and mc, doing domestic and cute couple things :)))))

basically, if there’s a way to make sure he is immortalized with mc in some way, he’s going to do it 

has no time to push them away now, he is super clingy all the time 

sometimes, he has nightmares :(

you know his, “i’ll wait for you in another universe?” yeah. that becomes his Thing 

v / jihyun

so v here pulls his whole “i am your sun” stuff, again 

and mc pulls out “if you’re the sun, I’m your stars.” 

yes i know, they’re both stars but hear me out

mc makes the connection because v, like the sun, is so bright and there. you can’t miss it’s presence. it’s warmth touches everything

but, when the sun is out of sight, stars come out and keep the sky bright. they’re not warm, they’re old. most of them are probably dead, but they’re there. 

and the stars, like mc, help people through dark times 

v was going through some dark times

oh no, he’s crying oh no im crying

he also gets the surgery as soon as possible, he needs to see mc clearly

when he finally sees them clearly, mc smiles at him and says, “seems like it’s a clear night..”

he happy cries and is like “it is..I can see the stars…it’s been a while” 

…where did all this deep stuff come from?

[orionsangel86]

Round two of the “Hold My Beer” Great Meta Scavenger Hunt

For this, our honorary Misha Collins figure and Scavenger Hunt queen @elizabethrobertajones has asked us to rank all 12 season openers OR all 11 (12 if you are feeling super ambitious) season finales by a theme, character, concept etc of your choice.

I figured I might as well make this super difficult for myself and go with three D’s for my theme. Being Doom, Death and Destiel. I’m also picking finales over openers because, well finales usually have more of the three D’s in general. Doom is based on how bad the situation is for the world at the end of the episode, Death is based on the deaths in the episode and the emotional punch of those deaths, and destiel is based on how much destiel (or the ground work for destiel) there actually is in the episode. I’ll give each episode a ranking out of 10 for each ‘D’ and then average it out for my final scale… and try not to be intimidated at adding maths into a meta post. Ha. 

I should apologise for submitting this so late, but Lizzy did stress there was no real deadline and I have always been terrible at deadlines anyway.

Under the cut as this is loooonnngggg. Enjoy. :)

Season 1, episode 22.

DOOM – John is possessed by Azazel, but he gets over it, Azazel gets away, and the Winchester’s get pretty upset about this. Meg gets exorcised though so actually doom wise there is less of a threat by episode end than there has been all season. Azazel is on the loose but the Winchesters still have the colt. Very little doom. 1/10.

DEATH – Ah to remember the days when the Winchesters actually cared about the meat suits the demons possessed… Oh how things change. Meg is exorcised and the actual human Meg dies of her injuries (did the demon just keep using the name of the girl it possessed? That one always confused me) John almost kills Dean but doesn’t and marks the first in a long line of people in this season who overcome possession to save Dean thanks to their undying love for him (and yet the boy still thinks he is worthless). Big car crash at the end leaves us with a cliff hanger wondering if the Winchester’s are dead but its such a normal way to try to kill them that we all know it aint gonna stick. 3/10 for attempting to scare the audience into thinking the Winchesters can be killed by a TRUCK. Pfft.

DESTIEL - I miss Cas. Did I mention I’m a Cas girl and think his presence makes this series infinitely better?! Still, what we do get in this episode is a Dean who admits that he lies and Azazel mocking Dean’s personality as always hiding the truth, the pain… etc… So we start to get some good insight into Dean’s character, we know by this episode that Dean hides A LOT and puts on a performance all the time. We know that the tough guy macho image he tries to portray is in no way near the real him. But I’m scraping the barrel so it still only gets 1/10 for the barest glimpses into Dean’s true self and the hint that he is hiding a lot more.

Season 2, episode 22.

DOOM – One dead yellowed eyed demon, one demon deal for Dean and a whole lot of evil unleashed upon the world. We got some good levels of doom here, even if Azazel is gone. At least John Winchester managed to crawl out of hell and disappear off… somewhere… do we ever find out what happened to John Winchester’s soul? Maybe he decided to hang around on earth haunting some poor unsuspecting bystander. For that reason and all other reasons above, I’m ranking this a 4/10. They were still just ordinary demons that were unleashed after all… and that was a weird sentence to write.

DEATH – Well, that was emotional. We get some pretty stirring speeches from Dean over poor Sam’s corpse, but he comes back. Of course. So it doesn’t really count unless we are counting deaths for emotional impact rather than if they STAY dead. Dean shoots Azazel in a very therapeutic moment for him, and also threw his own life away to save his brother. Also this made me chuckle: “Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here.” Oh Dean. You’ll get used to it. Happens all the time. I’m also adding a point for the death of Ash last episode because damn. I liked Ash. Besides, technically this was a two parter. 6/10 for emotional impact and because they finally killed the bad guy.

DESTIEL – Well, there isn’t much I can really say as one half of this love pairing isn’t even here yet. But, on Dean’s side we are getting more and more hints into his now glaringly obvious bisexuality. I’m using 2x21 here because as said above, this is a two parter. Dean identifies Ash by his watch which tells an interesting story (I’m not gonna get into the Dean x Ash stuff here and instead direct you here for that glorious analysis) and also we got Lily who was a Dean mirror who lost everything thanks to Azazels influence (like Dean at episode end) and lost her life because of her inability to accept the situation she was in (like Dean at the end of this episode). So, for that reason I’m rating this a 2/10.

Season 3, episode 16

DOOM – Not so much in terms of doom this episode, Lilith was already out and doing her thing, We all still think Ruby is a good guy, the world is no more broken than it has been all season. 3/10

DEATH – Oh Dean. As Dickens would say he is as dead as a door-nail, and then go on about why a door-nail was considered a good simile for death. Perhaps the Horseman Death could answer that question, but I digress. Dean is dead, and Sam is very sad, and there is seemingly no hope now that Dean is strung up in hell. Sad times. This was probably my favourite death of the entire series, simply because it was still early enough for us to actually believe it. How on earth was Dean supposed to come back from this? His soul is literally strung up in hell. Therefore, 9/10 for an epic death scene.

DESTIEL – Still no Cas, and very little in terms of bi-dean analysis unfortunately. I’m giving it half a point for the eager anticipation of Dean’s hell rescue though and the wealth of fanfiction that came from that… 0.5/10.

Season 4, episode 22

DOOM – So much doom! (for the time – nowadays Lucifer just leaves us feeling kinda meh) The release of Lucifer! The breaking of the 66 Seals! The angels are up to no good! It’s the apocalypse! AHHHHHH DOOM ALL THE DOOM! END OF THE WORLD DOOM!!! For that reason I am marking it 10/10 doom wise.

DEATH – Bye bye Ruby. You were a manipulative bitch and I loved you. Hated the way you died though. Never like the idea of having a woman held back by a man whilst another man stabs her… it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth regardless of whether she was demonic or not. Also bye bye Lilith. Your death was actually pretty cool. You went out laughing. BUT NO! Not CAS! Cue Castiel’s first death scene and let me tell you it was explosive. Heh. Sorry. Basically 4 seasons in and this was my FAVOURITE season finale so far. Yeah so no Winchester brother died, but Castiel stole her hearts from his very first scene and having to watch him die after getting our hopes up like that was just cruel. It was emotional, especially the way he died for DEAN. Because of DEAN and… well I’ll get on to that. 8/10 on the Death rating.

DESTIEL – HERE WE GO FINALLY. So who started shipping destiel at THIS point? I was a late bloomer (a 6x20 shipper) but I was picking up on things here and on my many many re--watches of this episode I find it impossible not to see the whole scene in the green room as overly romantic. We had major heart eyes from our star crossed lovers, we had epic speeches about choice and freedom and humanity, we had one fallen angel statue and one soon to be fallen very real hunky angel man, we had Dean getting bodily pressed into a wall by said hunky angel man in a very erotic display of power and disobedience. Basically every DeanCas scene in this entire episode had me drooling. It ended with Cas giving everything for the man he lo- liked a lot, I mean pfft… its not like giving up everything you’ve ever believed in and fought for and known your entire long existence for one guy is a big deal or anything… right? Totally platonic right? I’m rating this one as an 9/10 on the destiel scale… I’m not quite sure another season finale can come close… top marks are reserves for an actual canon love confession.

Season 5, episode 22

DOOM – Well. What can I say about Swan Song? The apocalypse was stopped, Lucifer defeated, the horseman put in their place, Death off eating pizza in another galaxy… it all turned out okay doom-wise. The episode packs a big punch, but its an emotional punch rather than a “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE” punch, so actually, this finale is quite understated when you rank it against the rest. Low doom score. 5/10 doom.

DEATH – Death is rampant in this episode, but he’s getting sloppy because it doesn’t stick. Sam sacrifices himself for the world. It’s emotional. Bobby dies, Castiel dies, Dean nearly dies, Adam dies, Michael and Lucifer get thrown in the cage, lots of death but none of it stays dead! Come episode end all the folks that matter are alive and walking around topside like it’s no big deal. But it still gets points for ending on a mystery and for Dean still believing his brother is dead and being all sad about it and for the audience being all worried because WHAT IS WRONG WITH SAM? But he still isn’t dead. 7/10 for Death.

DESTIEL – I’ll be honest with you all. I think Swan Song is totally overrated. I prefer Lucifer Rising. Like waaaay prefer it. I’m biased of course because of Destiel. In this episode there were a few moments. Dean saying “Aww, Ain’t he a little angel” when Cas is asleep in the back seat is one of them, The car ride at the end. Dean’s pain is evident at everything he has lost but his need for Cas right then, to me at least, is obvious. He just couldn’t bring him to ask Cas to stay, so Cas left. It is a sad ending that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 5/10 for destiel.

Season 6, episode 22

DOOM – Well, this is what happens when you bottle up your feelings rather than confessing your undying love for someone. Oh Cas. Why couldn’t you just TELL HIM THE TRUTH! The absorbed purgatory souls turn Castiel into a crazy power hungry God and it is very very bad. Well, if you are homophobic, or republican, or a member of the KKK… or basically Donald Trump and therefore all of the above…otherwise honestly, Godstiel really wasn’t all that bad. We could probably do with a Godstiel in our world about now… *Oh gosh shhh now that’s a terrible thought I totally don’t wish that on anyone…ahem.* So I’m giving it a low doom score. Bring Godstiel to our universe 2k17. He will sort shit out. 5/10

DEATH – I am still mourning Balthazar. This one hurts hard because he doesn’t ever come back. L Also Raphael but really I didn’t care. He needed to remove the stick from up his ass anyway. 8/10 because Balthazar won’t be forgotten.

DESTIEL – In the afterglow of 6x20, we suddenly have our destiel goggles glued to our faces and it only makes this episode so much worse. They are actually in post break up hell here and Castiel has completely lost his way. Dean’s heart break is clear to see, and his line “I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you... Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too.” Makes me shed a tear. For all the break up trauma 7/10.

Season 7, episode 23

DOOM – Season 7, the world went to hell, Leviathans wanted to eat us (well mostly America but I assume some of them travelled overseas to annoy the Europeans…) But in the end Cas stepped up and helped save the day. Dick was vanquished and although leviathans still roamed the earth they are apparently useless without their leader. So doom levels are fairly standard. Kevin was abducted by Crowley and his minions though and Dean and Cas zapped to purgatory where they will have to face all kinds of DOOM. So on a worldwide scale not a lot of doom, on a personal level for our characters? Lots of doom. 7/10 to average it out.

DEATH – We say goodbye to the Leviathan King and with him goes all the dick jokes of season 7. It’s probably a good thing to be honest. That many dick jokes should not be allowed in one season. We also say goodbye to Bobby’s ghost. It was emotional. I still wish Bobby had never died. L Technically not a death so much as a ‘moving into the light’ moment, it still struck a chord. Other than that we also have a sort of death for Dean and Cas getting sent to purgatory though since they are still together we shouldn’t really be counting it. Death rating is 6/10 and that’s all mainly for Bobby.

DESTIEL – Ah 7x23 was good on the destiel front. ‘Tis the episode where Castiel turned up naked, covered in bees… kinky. It’s the episode where Cas was Dean’s “Boyfriend first” and of course, the episode of “I’d rather have you, cursed or not.” We got longing looks and confessions of forgiveness and basically it was great. 8/10

Season 8, episode 23

DOOM – The Angels are falling! Hell is still open for business! Metatron is a massive dick and I am in tears by the end of the episode every. Single. Time. I’m not even getting into it more than that. This is my favourite season finale. I love every second of it. Doom wise it’s pretty epic 8/10 doom score

DEATH – OH NO SAM DON’T YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT! L Poor Sammy. Seriously though this was HEARTBREAKING and even though Sam doesn’t die he is in a pretty awful state by episode end and it was so fucking emotional I can’t even deal with it. Hence a death score of 6/10 because SAaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm.

DESTIEL – “This is it? E.T. goes home?” The cupids bow, the two gruff men falling in love right in front of a confused and amazed Dean, the cupids bow on the TV shooting at both Dean and Cas? The arrows in the back of the Impala. The climax of the angel fall spell and the one of these is not the same as the others ingredients theory. Us meta writers screaming at our TV screens because it ALL adds up to destiel. It ALL points to Cas being in love with Dean. I love this episode. 8/10 for all the symbolism and Dean’s utterly romantic and longing looks at Cas in the bar.

Season 9, episode 23

DOOM – Does Dean being a demon count as death or doom here? Both? Both is good. Dean Winchester unleashed as a freshly born knight of hell. That doesn’t sound good for the fate of the world in all honesty. However, heaven is basically sorted and Metatron has been put behind bars so this episode doesn’t leave us in such an apocalyptic state as previous season finales have. Therefore it gets a doom score of 5/10.

DEATH – Oh Dean. Why did you follow Crowley. Why did you take that mark? Why did you think you could face Metatron when he was all powered up on tablet? Simply put “I’m proud of us” and Cas’ face when Metatron shows him the angel blade covered in Dean’s blood. Those two moments alone give this a high score in the emotional stakes that mean a Winchester has once again dramatically died in a season finale. It loses two marks for the black eyes since once again right out of the Princess Bride Dean was only mostly dead. 8/10

DESTIEL – I have one thing and one thing only to say right here “He’s in love… with humanity”. Cue a million fangirls all over the world screaming at their TV/Computer screens at that very dramatic pause. Thanks Metatron. I didn’t know Dean had a new nickname. 7/10.

Season 10, episode 23

DOOM – Thanks to Winchester toxic co-dependency we have a primordial chaos goddess on the loose, intent on nothing but absolute universal destruction according to Death. So yeah, pretty much the ultimate DOOM. Since this episode was just a whole barrel of WTF I’m marking it down 2 points. Because I’m bitter. So sue me. Otherwise 8/10.

DEATH – Again with the whatthefuckery. YOU CAN’T KILL DEATH DEAN THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. This was NOT a Death I was willing to accept and I still am not willing to accept it a season and a half later. Death is fucking with you Winchesters so he can jump out at you both and give you a fucking heart attack later on. You would probably both deserve it. 5/10. Not happy.

DESTIEL – So after the horrifying end to 10x22 with the brutal reverse crypt scene, Dean is haunted with guilt over what he did to Cas, but it is no homo’d to the max thanks to Rudy or whatever the fuck his name was I didn’t even bother to look it up or re-watch (did I mention I really didn’t like this episode – except for Death) I suppose I’ll give it a point for Dean’s dream in the deleted scene and a point for the flash of Dean in the mirror (fuck you Rudy I’ll pretend you weren’t there) and a point for Cas’ “Everyone loves something” about Rowena because yes Cas we know you are in love with Dean that was practically established canon in 9x23. It gets a 3/10. I hated this episode.

Season 11, episode 23

DOOM – In a Supernatural first, we get a relatively happy, healthy ending to the big bad story. Dean gives Amara and Chuck some sibling counselling and they go off to spend some quality time together. In a big twist, Amara thanks Dean by giving him “what he needs” which turns out to be Mary Winchester. Human. Alive. Still in the white nightgown she burned in. At the same time, Sam gets taken out by a posh British lady from the men of letters. There is, amazingly, no real doom for the world and only a slight threat for Sam. 3/10 because I care about our beautiful moose baby and his doom matters to me.

DEATH – None. Zilch. Not a single character dies in this finale and this is a shocker. It’s also really satisfying. One formally dead person actually comes BACK. This is probably the most hopeful positive season finale we have ever had on the show. Impressive really. Sam’s unknown threat at the end gives it 1 point. Even though we all know that Sam isn’t dead. He may be in somewhat doom, but he definitely isn’t dead. 1/10

DESTIEL – My heart breaks for Cas all throughout this season and it wasn’t quite the satisfying resolution we were hoping for. Still, the beer run car scene was therapeutic in a way. Though Dean calling Cas a brother got mixed reviews. Some calling it “the end of destiel” which I think is incredibly over dramatic. I prefer to linger on Cas’ utter disappointment at being called a brother. Since, as I have previously mentioned, Season 9 pretty much canonically established Cas’ romantic love for Dean. However, the hug at the graveyard and the “I could go with you” bump up the points for this episode. Cas’ whole demeanour throughout screams of heartbreak and no one can possibly deny his devotion and love right now. I just wanna see more return from Dean on this. 6/10 for the mixed reviews.

Season 12, episode 23

Hasn’t aired yet, so I am totally making this up based on season themes and the mid season finale. Following Season 11’s breaking the spell of DEATH OR DOOM in the season finales, I reckon Season 12 will follow this trend and will not unleash a new bad evil or apocalyptic event OR kill anyone off in a tragic Death scene. Instead, Season 12 looks to be heading down the route of addressing the past, resolving the issues and dealing with smaller conflicts in general. Where Death is concerned, other than ‘bad guys’ I do not think we will get a major death in this finale. So far I do not see that foreshadowing for either brother… or for Castiel or Crowley at this point. Times change but I’m keeping optimistic. So to continue our theme:

DOOM – I doubt it. I don’t think the show will go ‘big’ again before they decide to end and therefore the themes and disaster storylines will be kept more subtle. Perhaps we could get some larger threat from the Grand Coven, or from the British Men of Letters… But lets just say I doubt that we will be unleashing Cthulhu any time soon! 5/10 for potential threats from human/witch groups but no apocalyptic disasters that I can see.

DEATH – Again I doubt it, Dabb broke the constant pattern spn had in place of an alternation between death and doom over season finales with season 11. I am expecting something completely different for the season 12 ending that will be unexpected in a different way (the way Mary was unexpected in season 11). The four main characters won’t get killed off and the supporting cast is unlikely to die in a finale. Perhaps a couple of BMOL will perish… I’m predicting a 4/10 on the Death scale.

DESTIEL – I’m gonna be super hopeful here. We have two episodes (possibly three) in the second half devoted to exploring Castiel as a character. Dabb has always been a Cas fan and we KNOW as I have mentioned before, that one of Cas’ defining characteristics at this point is his utter devotion and love for Dean. I am also hopeful that Dean’s pining story arc that started with the confessional scene in 10x16 will continue and reach a sort of climax in season 12. Therefore, I am gonna give this a rating of 8/10. I expect progress. I don’t expect a straight up confessional, I don’t expect a kiss. I would LIKE textual confirmation that Dean is bisexual at some point this season. I would also like textual confirmation of Castiel’s love for Dean. Something like another angel or Crowley or Sam maybe just straight up saying “You’re in love with him aren’t you?” and Cas just sighing and nodding. Yeah. That’s all I want. I don’t think its asking for much.

Okay so the final averaged scores for DOOM, DEATH and DESTIEL are:

1x22 – 2/10

2x22 – 4/10

3x16 – 4/10

4x22 – 9/10

5x22 – 6/10

6x22 – 7/10

7x22 – 7/10

8x23 – 7/10

9x23 – 7/10

10x23 – 5/10

11x23 – 3/10

12x23 – 5/10

Which according to my own odd analysis, makes season 4 the best all around season finale of the show.

*Goes and lies down for days because that took far too much brain power*

*Eagerly anticipates next challenge*

[twentyeightandahalfweeks]

Dada’s In Costa Rica - A Mother’s Interpretation

BEFORE - ANXIETY JUST KICKED IN        

I can't believe this day is actually here. We've been talking about it for at least a year, but now that it's actually here, it feels different. No, no we're NOT having another baby (phew!) - Jeff just left for a class abroad. “Class” is a loose term since it's only a week long, but that week will amount to a half a class's worth of credit and bring us one step closer to finishing his freakin' MBA.

It's not like it's really taken him that long in the grand scheme of life. I mean he's been going to school at night, part-time, and working, full-time, and all-in-all it took him 4 years.

The concept for this class, and classes like it, is called "Doing Business In" or DBI. It allows both part and full-time students to take a one to two week class in another country. It’s like a super accelerated semester abroad, where the student hopefully comes away with connections, shared experiences and knowledge about their host country.

Jeff and I both decided not to go abroad in college for various reasons, and on some level, I think Jeff has always thought that he missed out on something. (For reference Jeff has very intense FOMO so he always thinks he’s missed something!) So when he found out that this was an opportunity - about a year into his program - he started talking about it non stop. For one reason or another, like deaths or surgeries or the birth of our children, there was never a time frame he could commit to, until now.

He started planning and mentally prepping for his trip almost a year ago, and because we started planning so far in advance it always seemed far in the future. That is until the day actually came, January 1, 2017 to be exact, and he boarded his first class ticket (don't be that impressed he somehow checked every day until a first class ticket was going for only $350) on route to Costa Rica - leaving me with the twins for 8 days!

AFTER - SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE WHILE WRITING THIS

Well, I made it! I decided to keep everything for the twins as normal as possible. Luckily school started again on the third, so Jean came Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, like she normally does, and took them to school. Also, thankfully, January second was a Monday, and technically the business holiday, so my Dad and sister were off of work and there to help me and my Mom with the kids.

Unfortunately the twins don’t sleep very well in my parent’s house. Even though they go there all the time, and they sleep in their own cribs. Part of the reason may be that they need to sleep in the room with us and at home they have their own room. Additionally, the room we all sleep in has a TV. They are used to having noise around them all the time, so when they sleep on the second floor of a house where they can’t hear people rustling and the TV blaring it’s hard for them to feel safe. So we started to turn the TV on to keep them company - and when you start something with a toddler it’s literally NEVER ending. Now every time they even pass the room Spence says, “Barney!” AHHHHHH! (Perfect, something else they can discuss in therapy later…)

On top of everything both twins got really sick just as Jeff was getting ready to leave. Whenever they get a cold, they get bronchitis. Usually it’s Spence that starts to wheeze first, but this time it was Miri. By the end of the week we were up to four albuterol treatments a day! Thankfully by Saturday (1/7) they were all better, just dry coughs. And the coughing all night didn’t help them or me get a good night’s sleep either!

Well, I didn’t sleep well for a variety of reasons. I kept hearing creaks and cracks in the apartment and when we were at my parents I tried to keep the twins from waking up the entire house at 6am when they felt they were “all done.” Also, Jeff is usually the one that wakes up with them and changes their diapers and starts breakfast - one of his very few jobs. Look, I can do everything in the morning - change their diapers, make everyone breakfast, feed them, dress them, brush their hair, make sure they brush their teeth, make water cups and prepare snack - for a few days in a row, but after day 4 I started to lose my mind.

I really started to feel exhausted on Thursday - I made it pretty far - but that day it hit me like a TON of bricks. Then it freaking snowed, and not one to three inches as meteorologists predicted - it snowed 3-6 inches. That’s the difference between the sun melting the snow and getting out the snowblower. Of course I didn’t bring their snow pants or boots, because it wasn’t supposed to snow that much! So they just had to watch the snow from the comfort of their grandparent’s home or, when we had to get out because we were going to kill each other, from the comfort of the concierge desk at the Garden State Mall.

My parent’s saw that I looked like a mess on Sunday night and decided that it would be best if my Mom took me back to the city on Monday instead.

Everything was going well until apres nap. Then shit hit the fan! Miri is like me, she needs sleep. Spence is like Jeff, he needs sleep but he denies it. All of a sudden the lack of a proper nap for at least three days in a row and a lack of a super tight schedule around the holidays finally hit and Miri went crazy. Crying and clinging and wanting me to pick her up - but I had to collect everything to go back to NYC. As soon as my Mom started helping me pack Spence realized he wasn’t getting enough attention so he got into the action screaming and crying “up, up, up!” I CANNOT pick up both at the same time any more. My mom took Miri I picked up Spence and then the dog started going berserk.

So, there we were with two toddlers having tantrums and a dog barking and jumping for us not to leave (fyi - this is not a norm for the dog, she doesn’t like it when people leave but she doesn’t usually protest).

MEANWHILE - Jeff has spent the last week visiting coffee farms, animal reserves and the rain forest. He also took time for excursions including zip lining, ATV riding and whitewater rafting. WTF.

Look, I’m glad he had a good time, since if he put me through this and didn’t have a good time, I would explode.

I was definitely resentful, but we decided he should go. I honestly don’t know what I was hoping his trip would be - a constant classroom lecture? Slightly less exhilarating?

All I know is I am VERY, VERY grateful he’s home and my heart goes out to single moms everywhere.