#people curating their own online experiences and whatnot

[fullscoreshenanigans]

i apologize for sending this out of the blue but i am very sleep deprived and emotional so <3 you are one of the nicest people on this website and i love seeing your thoughts in my and everyones tpn art its always so sweet and insightful. Okay thats all ty 💞

idk about that but

appreciate all the people who tolerate me getting overly excited over a children's series in reblog tags and in the main tag 💖💝💗

[emotional-mess-in-distress]

Hey everyone! I wanted to chime in since I saw a few people talking about the influx of drdt ask blogs lately.

I've seen some be bothered by their presence in the main drdt tag. But honestly that is how most ask blogs get found.

Drdt fanartists and writers usually tag their work as fanart or fanfics (if you don't I highly recommend it so it's more organised)

So in the end if you're specifically looking for fanart or fics or theories or whatnot, I guarantee there is a tag for that. The main drdt tag in my opinion is used very generally and you can throw whatever thoughts or posts in there that relate to drdt. That's what it's for.

I don't feel like it's right to tell ask blogs that they shouldn't put their posts in the main tag. I check that tag quite often and I understand that you have to scroll through their posts, but there's the block button.

You can curate your internet experience, and I can count the number of drdt ask blogs on my hand I think there's like 8 of em and not all are active most time.

They could also tag their posts as "drdt ask blog" and you can block that specific tag.

In the end how else would people find their content? It's completely fine to be annoyed, but again, you can curate your own online experience and there's nothing wrong with blocking someone if you don't like their content! That should not be taken personally.

That's my thoughts on it anyway, I like the presence of the ask blogs, they're in every fandom and I feel like they keep things lively. :')

[the-demon-cabin]

Hi uh.. Angel Dust here..

I want to give a PSA about online safety and whatnot. It's very important, as they are a whole lotta people who can be creepy and outright dangerous.

If you see someone with pro-c, xenosatism, radqueer, transid, outright saying they are a pedo/zoo/necro, or someone telling you to do something unsafe, stay the fuck away from them. [PT: stay the fuck away from them. PT end]

As former rqs (and people with common sense), we are asking you to stay away from these people. Radqueers and transids encourage harm, and they are considered a cult by many. And people who tell you to do something unsafe is not ok, and you should tell someone you trust. Curating you own online experience helps too.

If I'm missing anything, let me know.

- Angel Dust

[genderqueer-hippie]

Do you have any advice as a queer elder for those of us in our late teens/early 20s still trying to figure shit out?

Hoo boy I'll try my best here. I'm still figuring myself out too. I think that's part of the human experience, yeah? Always changing and growing and whatnot. One bit of advice is to learn about queer history, whether through a library or otherwise. And get involved with your queer community. I also think everyone's queer community looks different. For instance, I'm someone who is disabled by chronic migraines and I rarely get out because of it. I also live in a very conservative area at least two hours drive away from any larger cities and the small queer community that is around here includes an ex bestie and an ex partner and it's also very white and very thin and obsessed with fitness/trend dieting. All in all, not good for me. So I've done my best to curate my own community online because it's the best option for me at this time. And also also, it's never too late to figure it out. Find passion for things, create, and live how you want to live! Your people are out there, go find them!

(I hope this was a bit useful or at least encouraging)

<3

[bloggedanon]

Fuck it, I'm writing an essay on this now.

Words, as I define them:

Proshipping: Supporting and defending all ships, including problematic ones.

Antishipping: Not supporting or defending all ships, because they include problematic ones.

Witch Hunting: 1) Actively seeking out and harassing people for behaviour the witch hunter considers wrong. 2) Actively trying to morally crusade and change people around them to better fit one's own sensibilities.

Romanticizing: To view or interpret something in a positive light. (I'll use this as a blanket term to include fetishizing as well.)

A common theme I see among people who claim to be proshippers (many of which I believe may be antis without them realizing it, more on that later), is that they tend to strawman about the subject of being pedos, rapists, incestuous, etc. in real life, saying that of COURSE they're not any of those awful, illegal things! Often, this gets brought up when a supposed anti doesn't even make a claim about their real-life behaviour. Most of the time, in fact. Considering the illegal nature of sexual misconduct, instances of this behaviour happening in real life are relatively rare. I don't think MOST people go into an online interaction with anyone making the assumption that they're getting into that kind of mojo in real life. To call all proshippers pedophiles, rapists, incestuous, etc. is both patently untrue and terribly unnuanced. Might there be proshippers out there who engage in sexual misconduct? There's probably bound to be SOMEONE out there who matches that description, but anyone like that is an exception to a general rule, for the most part.

Likewise, a common strawman I often see getting tossed in antis' direction is that they don't do the whole "live and let live" deal. People more often than not conflate being anti with actively seeking out proshippers and those shipping up some problematic content, pitchfork in hand, lecturing them on how they're awful people, etc. etc. rather than simply blocking them and moving on. Thing about that, is that that's actually called witch hunting. Much like sexual misconduct in real life, witch hunting is generally frowned upon in polite society (though it's unfortunately gaining traction in recent years with the rise of third-wave keyboard warrioring), and claiming all antis to be witch hunters is just as patently untrue and terribly unnuanced as calling all proshippers enactors of sexual misconduct. Are there witch-hunting antis? Most likely! It'd explain why antishipping and witch-hunting are percieved as being comorbid by proshippers.

This assumption has given rise to anti-antis (a group whose purpose appears to be to witch hunt the "witch hunters," as if that doesn't make them hypocrites), and to a category of people who think that they're proshippers just because they don't harass anyone for ships that they personally dislike or find problematic. That's not proshipping, however: that's just being anti-witch-hunting, which SHOULD be the popular stance! People should curate their internet experience by using tag filtering and the block button liberally rather than going onto people's posts and blogs and whatnot to give them a lecture they never asked for. All antishipping is supposed to encompass is the refusal to condone or support problematic content. That's it.

The fundamental problem with proshipping is that those who support and / or make content for problematic ships and behaviour are romanticizing sexual misconduct. Is that on the same level of commiting real-life sexual misconduct? Of course not. However, when it comes to the brain's chemical response to something as raw and primal as sexual endorphins, it doesn't discriminate between fictitious and real life sources to get its rocks off. It has real power to mess with the reward pathways in your brain if you reenforce that pattern of thinking. Fucking with neurochemicals as powerful as the sexy ones can have unpredictable effects. A guy tried to jerk off while eating vegetables as a way to classically condition himself to enjoy eating them, and all that got him was an awkward boner whenever he entered the produce aisle, rather than any closer to his goal. (To the people who don't think problematic ships or fictional sexual misconduct don't affect anything because they're fictional [the only other major defense proshippers have], they do. Neurochemistry is some real shit, man. Don't feed into those dark urges, it just reenforces that shit.) (Likewise, anyone who isn't about proshipping, maybe don't harass people about it, you're only gonna get people to stubbornly dig their heels in and possibly invite retaliation.)

So while I'm not in the business of stepping to people on their own turf about proshipping, if you romanticize squicky shit or support those who do, that's narsty, yo.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. send post

[thearchivalist]

My partner and I have had a lot of discussions about this and I think it's a really interesting phenomenon to explore.

You do not have real control over who accesses or engages with your content. In the last like, 7 or 8 years I've seen a huge uptick in people expecting that they can somehow proactively manage who sees + interacts with their page or art or writing. And you can absolutely block specific people if them interacting with your content is upsetting or distressing. This is super encouraged.

But getting so upset that they engaged in the first place is so strange. People act like control was taken from them when they never had it in the first place. And I get that this is a difficult and sometimes painful thing to come to terms with. But if someone engaging with your content has a big enough impact on you that you continually reinforce that people MUST read your dni or bio or whatever everytime it happens, maybe it's time to take a break and reassess how you're conceptualizing existing in an open forum with millions of strangers.

I think this is related in part to the way in which people so heavily moralize the way they exist and are perceived online. There's been a larger and larger pressure over the years to perform in a way that is "morally correct" or "morally pure" in a way that's ill-defined but enforced en-mass.

I see a lot of "DNI freaks" or "regular DNI criteria applies". (Again, totally get having a DNI or BYF if it makes you feel good to have that accessible to people, so they can make informed decisions if they access it. But many many people won't, and you shouldn't be shocked when they don't.) What does "freak" mean in this content? It's defined differently by so many people. If people do read your DNI or bio or whatnot, will they be able to understand what your boundaries actually are? Do they have an obligation to figure this out?

I'll see it on blogs that are strictly SFW so there it probably means anyone who posts NSFW (worrying implications for the way NSFW content is discussed in radfem and conservative and facist spheres as inherently deviant in a way that disproportionately polices women and queer people and people of colour). I'll also see "DNI freaks" on a blog that specifies it's about ships that involve siblings, while the next blog posts NSFW ship art of brothers and insists that it's about people who post non-con, and the next blog posts non-con fanfiction and insists it's about people who "fetishize" mlm ships. And so on and so forth.

There's this overarching idea that if someone engages with content that you don't like or have moral issues with, that they must be a terrible person, or they must be separated from you and your content. Maybe you don't want to see the content they post? Then don't follow them, or block them. If their page is tagged appropriately, then don't scroll through because you're probably going to see something upsetting.

idk this got a lot longer than I intended, I really think that there needs to be more skill-building around curating your own space and learning to let things go if they aren't in your control.

It doesn't matter how many times you insist that complete strangers follow your personal boundaries or post reminders of who should or shouldn't follow you/interact with you: it does not give you more control over the choices that other people make. You do not have control over other people's actions. Ever. You do have control over your own.

(EDIT: this is a response to the second addition to this post -- as I mention a few times here, I support blocking and curating your experience when you learn new information about someone or they make you uncomfortable/unsafe. OP is a terf -- using shinigami eyes to find this out and unfollow/block them is part of curation! The idea that you shouldn't do anything at all when you find out that someone posts a lot of content that is actively harmful is terf rhetoric, this is an area where you do have control and should actively exercise it!)

I love when people are like “I can’t believe you reblogged that despite their user name, icon, bio, and last twenty posts” bc to me my dash is the only part of this website and I’m not slowing down to look at urls you could all be the same person

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

[zdravstvuysclntse]

Heyy!

Hey y’all whgfg, whoaf, I.. Am hardly here anymore, and probably won’t be again for the foreseeable future, as sad as that is. I guess this is sort of a goodbye post? Kind of? Think of it as a way to get back into contact with me on some of my more active social media platforms should you ever want to!

Long story short; I actually went down memory lane a little bit tonight with some friends, waaay back to 2017 when making stupid ass decisions was apparently the norm for me! This isn’t me bringing up ancient drama or any of that nasty biz, I guess it’s just reflection? I’m nearly twenty four now and I hopefully have a much better overall outlook on life and on my little career here in the rp community than I did way back when. 

Plain and simple; I was incredibly, incredibly volatile and quick to try and victimise myself back then. If I’m totally and brutally honest, I still get the temptation to do that even nowadays - especially throughout the duration of this horrible pandemic and the various lockdowns the UK has gone through - and recognising that has actually been a pretty recent realisation, so it looks like the lockdowns did one good thing for me. Trying to throw myself a pity party is unfortunately a big knee jerk reaction for me, which isn’t healthy, but it isn’t too late to tackle that problem - admitting there’s a problem is the first step to improving it after all.

But, really what I find pretty surprising now that I’m looking back on everything, is that I actually value the memories of what happened in and around 2017. I lost friends and writing partners who I valued, strained friendships with those I didn’t lose and I made a complete and utter asshat of myself, but that has all lead to how I approach situations today. Half of the things that happened to me wouldn’t have happened had I quit trying to start fights and seeking out drama for the sake of drama. In reality it’s entirely my own dumbass fault that I never really got back into the swing of things after that year, the maaaagical concept of blocking and just moving the hell on to things I wanted to do didn’t actually set in with me until I was way on my way to twenty one or two. 

I honestly wish I could give you all a good reason as to why it took so long to finally register with me, but really there isn’t one, apart from the fact that there was a part of me that actually enjoyed getting into scraps and stirring the pot, until it came back to bite me in the ass. Nowadays though, I’ve seen and experienced first hand, what it’s like to curate your own online experience, to stay in your own lane, to mind your own damn business and just do what you want to do. It’s fucking Magical, my dudes, it feels a little strange to say now, but I haven’t felt this secure and this happy in a fandom in years, and I wish I’d just had the foresight to just get on with what I wanted to do. Drama would’ve happened, sure, but at the end of the day it’s all down to me if I choose to get involved or not, and unfortunately back in 2017 I chose to jump in, and ended up saying a fuckton of stupid shit as a result. Mostly out of upset, mostly out of a desire to be right all the time, mostly out of anger, which are three things I am - bit by bit - pushing out of my time online.

So; I’m sorry. I’m not who I was back then, and the people from here who I still chat to on occasion now can hopefully see that change in me. Growth is important and you can’t really grow without looking back and cringing a lot at the things you did and the shit you said - and believe me I’ve been doing a lot of that tonight.

Getting hung up on drama and whatnot just.. Isn’t worth it, I don’t know why I thought it ever was; especially since in the grand scheme of things I was way too old to be even thinking about stoking the fire beyond just, stating where I stood on some issues and leaving it at that, and admitting when I was wrong. People on every single God forsaken social media platform are going to get fucked off at things regardless of how well you word a ‘hot take’ or how well you research an opinion, and there’s nothing you or I can do to change that, besides just thinking about how best to handle a situation without causing them or yourself any upset. The internet is, wild like that.

If anyone from back in 2017 does stumble across this - unlikely but there’s always a chance - hey, hi, I’m still willing to stand by the fact that I disagreed with a lot of you, but I’m also willing to admit the fact that I was petty, immature, quick to victimise myself and ultimately behaved in a way that made the situation worse for myself while doing so. So, I’m sorry to you guys too. Roleplaying on this platform was easily some of the best and most creative years of my life, and at some point I was insanely glad to have met all of you, so that’s what I’m going to remember - not the fact that we disagreed and argued and ended our friendships on a bad note.

Ahhhgyiuh and if anybody on here does want to go ahead and contact me on some of my more active platforms: Twitter (sfw) Twitter (nsfw - 18+ only please y’all) Wordpress Other tumblr DM me for discord if anybody wants it.

I guess that’s?? It?? It feels good to reflect, this might not be the most well written and laid out post, but really I am just babbling, and it’s... 3am.

Thanks a lot, y’all. Get vaccinated if you can. Wear a mask. Wash ya hands. 

[rissynicole]

☕️ Tumblr?

Like a lot of people, I have kind of a love/hate relationship with Tumblr.

(More under the cut for people who want to read a coffee-fueled ramble about Tumblr.)

The site is constantly glitching, I can’t ever find any of my old posts even with tags, etc., etc. One time, I changed my background color from pink to black, and Tumblr held my account hostage for having “adult content” on my blog. It’s just a hot mess.

As for actual content, I’m constantly torn.

I’m on Tumblr a lot, so I obviously don’t despise it. I’d probably never find some of the silly, goofy posts I see here on any other site. Every now and then, I’ll come across something pretty insightful, too. It’s also nice to be able to interact with fellow writers and artists.

As for how it’s set up, it’s very well-suited for me. I don’t have to worry about maintaining some sort of perfect façade since everything here is largely anonymous. I just don’t like social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram. I hate taking pictures of myself, and I don’t feel the need to constantly update everyone and their goat on my life. Here, I can just chat about my hobbies and whatnot without feeling any pressure.

On the other hand, anonymity has kind of a dark side to it. The ability to be anonymous really brings out the worst in people.

Sometimes the content here drives me insane. I’m really not a judgmental person, but some people here are just a bit too much to handle. I’ve had to unfollow people for posting/reblogging too many political things that they don’t tag properly.

I’ve had to do the same thing to people who hold really extreme views that I just can’t get on board with. I couldn’t imagine holding such extreme views or getting so worked up over random things. One minute, I’ll checking out IZ fanart pics on my dash, and the next minute, I’m reading a 10-mile long discourse post on the evils of almond milk, where several misinformed people are automatically roasted into oblivion by really wound-up strangers hiding behind a keyboard. It’s mostly shit like that that just makes me… tired?

I can’t recall a single political discourse post on this site that actually reads like a civilized political debate. It’s more like a circle jerk fueled by group polarization. This site ends up being a slippery slope, where anyone who doesn’t 100% agree with a political viewpoint is automatically seen as the “enemy.”

And besides, I’m not on here for politics. I don’t want to constantly be angry and annoyed. If I wanted to research the evils of almond milk, I would search for credible sources online. I wouldn’t just mindlessly believe the wisdom of PussySlayer420 on Tumblr.

As for fandom, I absolutely understand how people can be relentlessly bullied on Tumblr to the point of leaving the fandom altogether. Again, I want to attribute that to anonymity. People get awfully brave behind a keyboard.

Any site like Tumblr that allows for easy anonymity (such as Reddit, Discord, or even Twitter) ends up being kind of a breeding ground for discourse. It dissolves into a lot witch hunting and petty drama.

All of that said, I firmly believe that you curate your own experience on social media. Don’t like someone? Block them. I’ve blocked a lot of people on this site. Far more than any other social media platform I’m on, in fact.

I mean, it bums me out. I don’t take pride in making enemies. But in order for me to have the best experience I can in the IZ fandom on Tumblr, it is necessary.

Anyhow, this is just kind of the tip of the iceberg. There are way more issues with Tumblr that I could go and on about, and it would probably end up in a full-blown essay about the pros/cons of anonymity online. 

I haven’t even discussed one of the most important things of all: the dangers that exist on anonymous platforms like Tumblr. Some weird people exist on the internet. Some dangerous people exist on the internet. Be safe. Use discretion.

I’m going to cut myself off here, though. I already feel like I’m rambling. Eh, this shitshow of a response could probably be summed up with this final message: just be safe on the internet. And don’t be afraid to unfollow/block people or blacklist certain things if it would be better for your mental health. 

[simonalkenmayer]

Hey, I'm really sorry that you have to deal with some of the people that come into your ask box and just... start arguments and whatnot. Curating your own online experiences, and moderating what you do/do not see is for the most part up to YOU (the viewer) and not other users.

You always handle these situations with decency and respect though, as far as I can see, and I think a lot of us appreciate that 💛

-B

Thank you B. I try

[molusca]

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

[serendipitous-magic]

a pro-shipper is someone who believes that any ship is okay because “fiction doesn’t affect reality” (including sensitive topics) and that there should be no “fandom police” telling them that it’s wrong. idk your last reblog had me a bit confused

I’ve never heard that phrase used before. No, I wouldn’t sort myself into that particular camp. However, I think the internet gets WAY too polarized about these things. Should people be romanticizing abuse or abusive relationships of any type? No, absolutely not. Ive always believed that fiction has a huge impact on reality (I’ve made posts about it before, but I’m on mobile rn so I’m too lazy to go find and link them), and the more people romanticize abuse in fiction, the more socially accepted it’s gonna become in real life. (See: all the studies about some of the the horrific effects of violent porn.)

However, I think the internet has somewhat lost its ability to differentiate between portraying something in order to explore or reflect upon a dark topic, and romanticizing or condoning that thing. Note how I said up there that people absolutely should not romanticize abuse. But if nobody ever made any kind of art or fiction that portrayed abuse, or any other kind of evil, how would we as individuals and as a society ever process, understand, or make progress? If we Disney-fy and bowdlerize every single thing, we will be an emotionally, morally, and philosophically stunted people.

I was actually just talking about this with a friend, perhaps I put it better there:

“Plus, people have this really weird assumption that portraying something in art in the same thing as.... doing it in actual real life? Which is absolutely ridiculous, not to mention damaging, because art and fiction have always been so much about exploring themes and thoughts and whatnot, and if you say "you must ONLY EVER explore MORALLY PURE things in fiction and never stray into dark or immoral subject matter!!!" ... that limits human thought and philosophy and morality SO MUCH.”

So, to address your ask:

“any ship is okay” nah, not exactly. I don’t support condoning, encouraging, or romanticizing abuse. (And to reference the post that started this, which I might link later when I’m not on mobile, “abuse” here of COURSE includes child abuse.) However, the internet really has to learn that portraying something is not tantamount to supporting or condoning it. If we were only ever allowed to make art about the things we supported or actually partook in, Agatha Christie would be the most accomplished serial killer of all time.

“There should be no fandom police” Actually yeah, I agree. Discussion board moderators and the like, for self contained fandom communities where there are built in guidelines? Yeah, sure. But fandom is a Wild West of art, fiction, and self expression. It’s a sandbox, as people have often described it. I’ll reference that earlier post again and say that if a fan feels that they need their hand held online, and they can’t blacklist tags, block content they don’t want to see, and manage their own fandom experience, then they’re probably too young to be unsupervised online. Again: this is not saying that “oh nazis are allowed to exist, just block them! :)” no. Obviously that’s different. But I think “fandom police” are entirely unnecessary. In my experience, such “police” operate very much like police in the real world: they don’t really make anything safer, they just harass people who are minding their own business.

Also, I don’t think people need “fandom police” to tell them what’s right or wrong. That’s just... I don’t want to be mean here, but that’s ridiculous. For one thing, if a fan genuinely needs a random internet stranger to come in and tell them “that’s morally wrong” in order to navigate morality, that fan is WAY too young to be unsupervised on the internet. For another thing, the idea that somebody (or multiple somebodies) should be tasked with going around decreeing moral value on various fandom trends and topics is just plain impractical. Who’s to say that person or those people are pure bastions of morality? It just doesn’t work that way.

Now, should people have constructive conversations about morality and ethics and philosophy, in and out of a fandom setting? Yes. Duh. That’s the only way human beings made it past the Paleolithic era as a species. And (again, because I feel like people are going to willfully misinterpret this), I’m not saying “oh absolutely any kind of behavior and any message and anything is fine because we all have different opinions uwu.” See the first paragraph. Punch Nazis, eat the rich, and spit in the face of racists, homophobes, and misogynists.

I’ll quote my conversation with a friend again because I feel like it really wraps up my thoughts here:

“Yeah the internet has really ruined the term "problematic." Nazis are problematic. Writing about nazis to explore themes of morality isn't problematic, it's a reflection on and exploration of morality and history. And people don't seem to be able to see the difference between those two things”

And finally, I really don’t see how “it’s your own responsibility to curate your fandom experience and filter out the things that make you uncomfortable; it’s everyone’s responsibility to properly tag and label content so it can be filtered and curated. It is not everyone else’s responsibility to restrict their art to your personal tastes.” ... is somehow equal to “everything is allowed and there are no moral restrictions or ethical code on the internet.” That’s a bit of a leap there.

[midwestmontessori]

Goodbye Midwest Montessori, Hello Montessori Like a Mother

You heard that right, Midwest Montessori is coming to an end. If you’re finding this post, perhaps you’ve followed along with my intermittent ramblings over the years, or perhaps I’ve remained an obscurity and you have no idea who I am. Either way, allow me to explain. (For those looking for the new website link without the fluff: Montessori Like a Mother)

Hi. I’m Amy. I’m a Montessori mom of two children, Charlotte (born 2013) and Simon (born 2015). I found Montessori when I was pregnant with Charlotte and completely immersed myself in it. Along with my husband James, we have raised both of our children with Montessori principles from birth. Of course there’s always a learning curve and we’ve changed things along the way, but we’ve more or less been a Montessori family from the start. 

I started this blog as a way to share our Montessori life with all of you. I joined an online Montessori community on Facebook called Montessori 101 and I fell in love with sharing and being inspired by other families along the same journey. Midwest Montessori gave me space to share our Montessori life and perspective and I’m so thankful for the community I’ve connected with over the years, both on Facebook as well as on Instagram. 

But my Montessori journey didn’t stop at being a Montessori parent. I loved it so incredibly much that I shifted my career path, little by little, until eventually Montessori took over completely (it has a way of doing that with people sometimes). First I shifted from high school education to early childhood and elementary. When that wasn’t enough of a change, I decided to take the leap and get Montessori teacher certification specifically. It has been a long, difficult journey, particularly for my AMAZING and supportive husband and children, but I DID IT! 

In 2018, I graduated with my bachelors degree in Early Childhood and Elementary Education, completed my Montessori Primary Diploma program from Association Montessori Internationale, turned the big 3-0, and, though I’m not quite sure how, jumped aboard a HUGE project of creating an AMI Montessori 3-6 program from scratch! 

That’s right, I single-handedly curated a brand new Montessori program - all the materials, all the furniture, all the classroom procedures and curriculum and whatnot - all while finishing two degrees, one of which was in another state! I’m certainly not saying this to brag, but man I was POOPED! My husband and children deserve medals for their patience and support during that time. I was out of the state for weeks at a time, over a two year period totaling nearly 6 months, and when I was home I was working my rear-end off student teaching, taking both day and night classes, and in the last year I spent most of my free time working on building a brand new school.

What I had dreamed would be an amazing new chapter in our families life, one where I was a lead guide in a local Montessori school start-up and my children attendees, proved to be too much for our little family. While my time in that magical school of mine remains near and dear to my heart, after over two years of total chaos, I stepped out of the classroom in order to dedicate myself to my family again, to focus on my roles as mother and wife.

What came next was even crazier than before! My husband got an opportunity for a new job in St. Louis - far from our lifetime home in Kansas. It happened so fast, within two months of finding the job we were moved. The past year has been a whirlwind of new school, new home, new city, new friends, new commutes, new jobs, new everything. It hasn’t been easy, but slowly we are finding a new normal - a new, more stable normal, which is just what we all have needed.

The next part is something that I’ve dreamed about for years. I’ve dreamt about it, thought about it, talked about it, and talked about it some more. Everyone I’ve met along this journey - my college professors, my Montessori trainers, my family, my friends, my classmates, my colleagues, my acquaintances - they’ve all heard me talk an earful about my dreams for the future of Montessori Parenting. 

See, I believe Montessori is a way of living. It isn’t just something we find in specialized classrooms and private schools. It isn’t something we find merely in Dr. Montessori’s curriculum, or our precious teaching albums. No, Montessori is so, so much more than that. It is about supporting the growth and development of the child. And who better to support that than the child’s own family - his own parents? Montessori families will change the world, I just know it. I believe it. 

And I care so deeply to bring this beautiful, wonderful way of life to as many as desire to know it - not just from my own personal family’s experience but from an empowered place that goes beyond me or my family. I want to help families learn how to “Montessori like a Mother,” that is, to “do Montessori at home with their family in the way that any mother does, with her heart and soul and perhaps a bit of sass, if you’re anything like me. 

Together, we can make the world a better place, through the work we do in our own homes, with our own families, and within ourselves. Dr. Montessori had it right when she said that the hope and promise of mankind was in the hands of the child. And whose hands are there holding that child? Ours. It is us parents of the world, or those of us who stand in as a parent for a child in whatever form that may be - biological parent, step-parent, foster-parent, adoptive-parent, guardian, grandparent, aunt, uncle, caregiver, nanny, day-care provider, teacher, neighbor, coach, counselor, leader. Parenting, or mothering, isn’t something reserved for mothers. We are all mothers. And may we all Montessori Like a Mother.

And so I announce my new website, where I will be writing and sharing empowering and encouraging messages for Montessori parents of all kinds. Montessori Like a Mother is launching soon. Visit the website now to get on the email list to be the first to see the new site. I’m working hard during this global pandemic situation to build a place where parents can feel uplifted, empowered, and supported in their parenting journey. I hope you’ll follow along with me. Thank you for your support.

For the record, Charlotte & Simon will still be seen here and there on the new website, as well as in my Instagram stories and perhaps an occasional post, as they choose to be featured (and James too). They are and always will be my greatest source of joy and my top priority, which also includes their privacy preferences as they age. I appreciate their support so very much.

[thatlazycrazylady]

On Writing Essays

The trouble with being a nonfiction writer (because that's where that part of my life is right now) is that your life becomes an open book. Literally.

Okay, so maybe you don't know how, exactly, I got here. So I guess I'll tell you. Ever since I learned a bit of basic html and whatnot at the age of ten (?), I've always kept some sort of website or blog on the internet. It's not something I often share with people IRL (I mean, they know about it but I have not ever actively encouraged anyone to visit or read my stuff, except perhaps on one particular phase of my life but we don't talk about that now.) And I don't think these blogs have ever had plenty of visitors. I think the reason I've always kept them is that I've always liked to have my own space, somewhere, where I can write whatever I like, without having to think about what other people might feel about what I'm writing. Or maybe I've just always needed some place to stroke my ego or something. I don't know. I'm still figuring it all out.

Anyway, between that and the random stories I make in my head and the things I've done for school and school papers, for work and work publications, I realized that I kind-of like writing. And, in a way, as with everything that I do, I've always longed for a community that does the same. (Mind you, way back in the day it was tough to look for local artistic communities, which tended to be - at least my perspective - highbrow and intimidating.) So pretty much most of my creative communities at the time were online.

But then, in my mid-20's, a local writers group that has been organizing poetry nights around the city calls for membership applications. And they seem like an accessible group of people - young, welcoming, and progressive. So I submit my application and get accepted. BUT at the same time, I'm signed up for a Writers Workshop.

Yes, not a writers workshop. A Writers Workshop. I have no idea, no clue what that is. And they ask for some of my recent, unpublished works and ask me what genre I write in. Now, look. I have many stories in my head. Many fantastical stories of magic schools and hidden staircases, worlds under balete trees and mananangals that will do you favors in exchange for blood. There is just one problem: I have not completed any of that. The whole stories are fully formed, but they're all still in my goddamn head. And so, instead, I have no choice but to submit the little things I've written in my blogs. Little thoughts about this and that, little snippets of my experiences. What genre is that in?, they ask. Well, it's certainly not poetry. Not fiction. Not drama. So I figure it is creative nonfiction?

And so I enter the Writers Workshop with no fucking clue about what creative nonfiction is (I honestly didn't even bother to google it before showing up) but eager to learn. That workshop changed my life, I feel like. But that's a story for another day. But one of the critique that I got during the workshop was that they felt I wasn't present in the piece. Like I'm trying to tell one of my stories, but I was trying to hide at the same time.

And I guess it's because I do try to hide. I have never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. Or, more accurately, I strip my heart apart and curate the things I would like to show, but leaving the remainder of the mutilated flesh deep where nobody can find it.

But, over the years, I slowly tried to bare my heart in my writing. Not just the parts I wanted others to see but, little by little, the rest of it. (I haven't 100% put it out there, but let's just say I've written more than what is comfortable to me.)

It is telling that my medical school psychiatric examination (that I wasn't supposed to see but hey I have a knack of opening envelopes and then resealing them to make it look like they're untouched) says that I am "sentimental but is evasive of her feelings." I think about that a lot. And when I'm writing, I often ask myself: what is it that I'm avoiding? And then I barge blunderingly in that direction.

And people have loved it, for some reason. My creative nonfiction / essays have received glowing reviews in workshops and publications since. (And whenever I submit my fiction... lol nobody likes my fiction XD... but like it's not that I care so I will dump this blog continuously with my stupid sims stories.)

But then I have reached the point at which the thing which I have stated in the first sentence becomes a major problem: The trouble with being a nonfiction writer is that your life becomes an open book. Literally.

The story of how I fell in love with my boyfriend (or, at least, bits of it) is right there. The stupid random thoughts I have while waiting in bus stops and barges, they're all there. The warm fuzzy feelings I have in moments that may not mean a lot to the people I'm with but have actually legitimately changed my life - they're all there. Now they're in a book.

And I'm going to be honest: these are not the things I regularly tell my friends because I'm pretty much more of a listener than a storyteller in IRL friendships. These are things that only my writer friends know about, mostly because I feel like they're the only people who understand the depth of emotion, the sentimentality that real life has compelled me to be evasive of, that lurks in each sentence. (Also, they're pretty much my beta readers.)

Honestly, I almost feel like I don't want to release this book and just continue discretely publishing in literary journals where only fellow writers can read. But, at the same time, I feel like I have a point to make. My stories talk about people living in areas affected by conflict, people who have grown up in poverty, how we hide the things we find undesirable behind idyllic beach resorts and tourist destinations...

It seems to me that as a society (and I talk specifically about the community I live in), we are all "sentimental but (sic) evasive about (our) feelings". And maybe we can't move forward if we keep on avoiding the things that are uncomfortable. I know I've become a better person for exploring these things through writing.

TL;DR I'm publishing a nonfiction book with snippets of my life and holy shit am I anxious about it.

[lesbienneanarchiste]

Is it mean spirited of me to block people who write read insert fics without putting them under a readmore... Like its not that i hate them like its obv fine if u like them but i just hate having to scroll and scroll past 80 XYZ/Reader fics..... I feel bad but like... Curate ur own online experience and whatnot i guess and it's not like blocking anybody actually works most of the time and its not like we're mutuals or anything so.... Hmm..

[imanes]

do you think that "influencers" and celebs should speak out about "political issues"? (putting it in brackets bc. it's clearly an understatement n not accurate but idk how to word it) re: palestine? cause i've seen a lot of people be like "yeah they shouldn't talk about it if they're not educated or if they're just doing it for the trend" (even tho at this point its been so all over social media that ppl cant use the "im not educated enough" excuse anymore) n all and i guess it's a fair point and all but also? idk when i'm on social media and i see ppl talking about what's happening in palestine, and then i scroll down and see ppl be like omg new haul uwu! vlog with my friends! and thats just so???? idk. idk what to think bc on the other hand ofc performative activism is bad ykw? (like....re: blm ppl just posting a black square on their ig....) but i don't know what to think about it and i would love to hear your thoughts!!!

inchresting question to which i have no concrete answer to provide (except a lot of ramblings) because it is a thorny subject related to the ubiquity of digital society and the social weight we give to a certain class of people who frame their existence as something that could represent us but actually doesn't at all. and everybody and their mother - including me - has an opinion on it but at the end of the day it's just an opinion, not an empirical fact to be presented, and not even one i think about a lot bc it isn't a primary concern of mine on a day to day basis. so i'm like not looking for a debate with some random tumblr user (not talking about u anon, but talking about whoever might care too much about my inconsequential opinion) bc this is a question i'm answering, not a question i'm asking so to anyone tempted to "well according to the encyclopedia of pfppspfpsp" me, make ur own post!

i guess we can start with "should influencers/celebrities/people who are famous by virtue of being well-known even exist and should we lend weight to their words?" the answer to that may vary from person to person but social media accounts with a very large following can indeed turn tides with regard to socio-political crises, such as demonstrated by bella hadid who single-handedly educated a whole generation of south-korean netizens through her posts on palestine so we can see the good effects of that. now obviously bella hadid is personally concerned by the ethnic cleansing of palestine and has a lot more at stake than say rihanna with her all lives matter bullshit statement (someone said "saudi dick must be potent" but i think it has more to do with her contract with puma who is actually on the BDS list) or even jameela jamil who has a terminal case of "everything must be about me always".

people can say whatever they want about what well-known ppl are allowed to speak about or not but i'll just remind that these "influencers" and whatnot are people and they're bound to want to talk about stuff, especially when it is relevant or when prompted by their own following, because literally everybody with an account on a social media platform expresses their opinions about smt at one point or another in time. that includes random ppl on facebook commenting under news with their stale hot takes. famous ppl or "influencers" are no different.

I'll also say that "influence" only goes so far so I'm not *particulary* concerned with whatever whoever that i don't take seriously says. let me take the queen of talking out of her ass jameela jamil as a case study for this. people who agreed with her bizarre and narcissistic takes are already bound to agree with her because people flock to opinions that are similar to theirs. in my opinion that is not influence, that is attracting similar weirdos in your sphere and consequently creating impenetrable echo chambers of idiocy. did her stale ass take become a "consensus" amongst the indecisive? i don't know for sure bc i haven't run a survey but my assumption is that people who have critical thinking skills were rightfully put off by her rancid take and called her out publicly for it, providing sources and information, which i think is visible enough for anyone 2 look through. and people who like her talk and think out of their asses were like "wow preach i've been saying!" so they are themselves inconsequential.

so in my opinion it is less about influencing - because at this point i think someone can be influenced by a single person into buying a product but your fave singer is not going to make you buy into their ideology just because they released one lukewarm-at-best statement - and more about signaling where you stand. when viola davis and idris elba (amongst many others) stated that they stood by palestine, they made it clear that they stood against apartheid and ethnic cleansing and people who already agreed on these basic principles saluted their stance. do i believe they changed anybody's mind? not really, that is the job of well-informed people such as activists disseminating information and other people sharing the info. do i think that mark ruffalo lost all credibility with his flip-flopping? absolutely, and it doesn't reflect back on palestine, it reflects badly on HIM. we're in an era where people are bombarded with so much information from all sides that one person saying something is a drop in a bucket no matter how famous they are. this is also why we say that israhell lost the PR war. we were and are too loud 2 be ignored now and a few celebrities showcasing how inane they are doesn't change anything. the famous-ppl-market is too saturated for their opinion to matter a whoooole lot. support is appreciated but not hailed as the second-coming jesus u know what i mean?

to address ur final point about finding it weird that some people flat-out ignore some stuff while you are neck-deep into it, I think it's an understandable situation to find yourself in and as subhi taha said, it just looks tacky. i think it should be your cue to just unfollow whoever doesn't align with your interest content-wise. i unfollowed a loooot of people lately because of that like I really didn't give a fuck about Michelle phan's cryptocurrency peddling (which was already yikes on principle) in the midst of real-time live-stream decolonisation and liberation struggles against apartheid and ethnic cleansing, and at this point I don't think I can go back to caring about using social media for frivolous things (except cats and memes account bc they bring me joy) and following bigger accounts that are trying 2 sell me some shit, because I've changed in the past weeks, one could say I've become more "radical" (lol) and I'm ready to sustain an online space that caters to my concerns and abandon all content that I indeed find tacky in between two posts that talk about some serious shit. it's not to say I'll never post a pic of the sunset on Instagram again or that I don't consume content that has literally nothing to do with informing myself and disseminating information on decolonisation and anti-capitalism (I literally watch study vlogs from med students to unwind lol), or that "everybody should use their account in this specific way because it's the only one that is valid" (it's not and i don't care what other ppl do) but u are obviously dissatisfied with ur feed for valid reasons and while some ppl may not share your opinion it doesn't mean that you shouldn't take steps to make ur user experience less jarring.

it's again just an *opinion*, not a to-do list or smt that i'd ever want 2 present as a "fact", at the end of the day everybody curates their online spaces the way they want to and if you find your current configuration to be distasteful, that's understandable. and everybody is entitled to believe that celebrities/influencers/glorified sellers of products and lifestyles and disorders talking or not talking about certain things can be harmful or beneficial, as there are arguments and examples for and against it and i am personally not interested in participating the debate even tho i wrote a long ass text about it akjdlkfjgd I'm sorry about this u might be regretting ever asking me this question. hope i made sense!