#people are mad that im a man

[light-bender]

NO I DONT WANT TO JUST BE HAPPY BEING ME AND SPARKLE ON I WANT TO TELL THE PEOPLE HARASSING ME TO FUCK OFF UNLESS THEY WANT TO GET HIT.

So sick to death of talking about existing as a visibly trans GNC person and how hard it is and how much harassment I face on a daily basis o ly for people to say "Just be you and be happy - Everything else is white noise. Just keep being yourself don't listen to them. " While well intentioned, I can't fucking stand these responses anymore.

It feels less like "stay in your lane and flourish" and more "don't pay any attention to the people who keep coming into your lane just to be nasty" and there's just this inherent... Complacency to this concept that I really detest. The idea that minorities should just take on all this harassment and let it roll off their back like nothing. Nah I'm actually done walking away from this - I am directly telling people who stare and make rude comments to Fuck Off. I'm not putting my safety first, keeping quiet, and moving on anymore, because no matter how hard you try and not let it effect you it does. And it builds and builds because Damn can you not just have one day without someone staring at you like you're dog shit on their shoe??

Long story long:

DONT YOU GET TIRED OF BEING NICE SOMETIMES DONT YOU JUST WANNA GO APESHIT.

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

We live such different lives... come with me I can show you the beautiful intimacy of literally holding someone's heart in your hands

[bunnieswithknives]

Okay but does Peri KNOW that Dev has a robotic leg when he shows up? Something about the fact that Peri's wand is a cane and the fact that Dev could have kept his leg and just had a cane for the rest of his life instead tickles my brain.

I mean he doesn't know immediately, he wasn't like briefed or anything, but he basically lives in Dev's house so he definitely finds out. Peri doesn't comment on or react to it all though really, there's no reason for him to think anything of it, plenty of people have missing limbs, a lot of people are born without them, it doesn't necessarily mean anything sinister happened. He had no reason to pry or ask and I think Peri's lack of reaction to it helped Dev feel a bit more comfortable in his skin. (Not by much but.. a little bit.)

[niinnyu]

Chilled, out.

[kuroshika]

happy ten years, you psycho bitches.

[amygdalae]

have never understood why squatting is considered a crime. loitering too. sir you have been arrested for the crime of....chilling. and hanging out. and taking a little nap

[hg-aneh]

Can you please not tag your anti-aziraphale art as aziracrow? It's your blog to post what you want, but it would be nice not to see hate in the tag

it's not anti Aziraphale what the fuck wkbgnfh

sorry I'm being rude but wngnmebbemlvemvg

[rwby-confess]

Confession #276

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

[redysetdare]

I said it once and i'll say it again the sooner the queer community drops the idea of the straight Boogeyman the better off we will all be. The sooner y'all accept that straight people can also be queer the easier it becomes to accept identities you don't understand.

Straight and queer are not opposite. They aren't contradictory. They aren't mutually exclusive. If you can accept that cis people can still be queer then straight people can to.

Straight trans people exist. Straight aspecs exist. They are all still queer. Grow the fuck up and get over it instead of throwing a fit because things are not about you.

[spitblaze]

"This historical figure who was born as a woman and lived the rest of her life as a man isnt transgender and shes not a man she was an oppressed woman who pretended to be a man in order to pursue her dreams under intense patriarchy" listen i understand what the line of logic here is and i know that applying modern labels to figures who lived and died before these words and concepts were invented or popularized is a dangerous game but if this dude not only lived his life as a man but insisted that he be referred to as a man and went off on people who misgendered him and had an entire love life where all of his lovers would also refer to him as a man and was adamant that his body not be examined postmortem as so not to be retroactively defined by his genitals and wished to still be recognized as a man after his death i feel like at the very least you could respect his wishes to be referred to and seen as a man and leave the 'born female' thing to be an interesting tidbit at most instead of the fact about him you parade around

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[transmascissues]

a lot of people aren't going to want to hear this, but if you actually want trans men to stop "playing up" our assigned sex/"female socialization" or "walking back" on our manhood in conversations, here's what you need to do:

accept that it is possible for men (yes, 100%-men-and-nothing-but-men) to experience gendered oppression, including misogyny. accept that it is entirely possible for captial-m Men to have a lifetime worth of experiences with misogyny. accept that it is possible for men to be not just hurt by but systemically oppressed under the patriarchy. accept that being oppressed for one's gender does not require any proximity to womanhood. accept that it is possible for men to experience the things you call "women's issues". stop calling the misogyny specifically directed at us "misdirected". stop acting like our manhood somehow cancels out the oppression we've experienced. stop considering yourself more of an authority on our oppression than we are just because we're men and you're not. stop supporting activist spaces that expect men to "shut up and listen and be good allies" while everyone else task about their oppression. stop simplifying the complexities of gendered oppression to "man = privileged, woman = oppressed". you would distance yourself from your identity too if people used it to gaslight and silence you about your lived experiences.

stop acting like being a man makes someone somehow "less trans" or "less queer". learn how to view all trans people as equally trans and equally part of the community. unlearn your tendency to view manhood and masculinity as inherently less queer than other gender expressions. stop talking about how trans men are "the weakest link" or making "jokes" about how much worse we are than other people in the community or blaming us for all of its problems. stop acting like being men means we have less of a right than other trans people to speak on what it's like to be trans. you would distance yourself from your identity too if you knew that doing so would mean being more accepted by the community you rely on.

deconstruct your belief that cis manhood is the gold standard of manhood. stop telling trans men that it's transphobic for them to assert that their experience of manhood might be different from that of a cis man. stop trying to pressure trans men into never acknowledging how their transness makes their experience of manhood unique by accusing them of "misgendering themselves" or "saying trans men aren't real men". accept that trans men are not cis men and never will be cis men and are still 100% very real men anyway because cis manhood is only one type of manhood. understand that if you hear "trans men are different from cis men" and think that means "trans men aren't men", you're the one who's actually saying cis men are the only real men. you would distance yourself from your identity too if people said that claiming that identity required being exactly the same as a group you're not a part of.

get yourself a personality that isn't just talking about how much you hate men. stop telling all the men in your life how much you hate men and acting like their willingness to just take it is a measure of their moral goodness. stop making "jokes" about how trans men are "joining the enemy". stop talking about how much you wish you weren't attracted to men, or how much of a shame it is that someone else is. stop acting like womanhood and femininity are inherently pure and good and harmless while manhood and masculinity are inherently gross and evil and dangerous. stop acting like there's something inherently corruptive about existing as a man that fundamentally changes someone the second they come out as one. stop acting like it's funny to say you want to kill all of us as if there aren't countless people actively working to eliminate us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if everyone you knew spent their free time talking about how much they hate it.

help put spaces and resources into place that take trans men into consideration. stop getting mad at trans men who "call themselves men but still want access to women's spaces" and start looking at the world around you and asking why we want access to those spaces. open your eyes and realize that there is nothing out here for us, that all of the spaces and resources catered toward our experiences are marketed for everyone except us. ask yourself where the hell we're supposed to go when every clinic specializing in care for our bodies is a "women's clinic", when the only men's shelters are really just for cis men and the people advocating for "inclusive" shelters see all men as a threat to be warded off, when no one is willing to make an actual place for us and we have no choice but to just find the place that looks the least risky and hope they let us stay. put some effort into making this world more hospitable for us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the resources you need to survive were offered for every identity but yours.

actually show trans men some fucking love for once in your life. find it in your heart to actually give a shit about trans men, to see us as real whole people who are deserving of love and community, to see our needs and feelings as worth your time and energy. care about us, care about our lives, care about our health and happiness and well-being instead of abandoning us the second we come out as men. start valuing our presence in the community and realize that we actually have a lot to offer if you could just listen to us. ask yourself why you're so comfortable leaving us to fend for ourselves in a world that wants us dead and is currently being very loud about that fact. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the community that supported you for years suddenly stopped caring about you the second you embraced it.

y'all will spend all day talking about how horrible it is that some trans men emphasize that they were assigned/raised female but nobody actually cares why so many of us do that. no one actually bothers to ask why we would put so much effort into being recognized as men but be afraid to fully claim that identity. no one wants to consider that they might be part of the problem, that they might be partially responsible for the thing they're complaining about.

if you want trans men to be able to stand firmly in our manhood and not undermine it with a million disclaimers, you have to actually put in the work to create an environment that's less hostile to trans men who do stand firmly in it.

because right now, regardless of my own personal opinions on the ways some trans men talk about their experiences as "afabs" or their "female socialization" or being "men but not like that", regardless of what issues i personally have with those kinds of statements, i can't blame them. not one fucking bit. and if you actually looked at how the world treats us - how our own community treats us - when we do fully own our manhood, you would feel the same way.

and if you aren't willing to do these things - which are literally just basic respect and care for other human beings, by the way - you don't get to complain about the ways trans men deal with how people like you treat our manhood. you can't expect a problem to disappear when you won't even acknowledge the part you might play in causing it.

[a-dope-fiend]

i'm just gonna say it right now, a take that i will always find immensely annoying is that medic is actually a completely incompetent doctor and has no idea what he's doing. I feel like people focus too much on him losing his license over the fact that he had one at some point.

my personal opinion is that he knows MUCH more than your average doctor and uses that knowledge to find loopholes and come up with new breakthroughs that nobody else would have even thought to do.

this right there was him was flexing his ability to improvise on the spot. even with all their years of training, other doctors haven't even come close to the level that he has simply because he wasn't afraid to think outside the box. it was basically him saying "well, can other doctors resurrect a man from the dead single handedly? i didn't think so."

he isn't just a doctor, he is ALSO a scientist. he doesn't care if his methods come off as unethical to other people, he only cares about the end goal. it's not that he "doesn't know what he's doing" it's that he simply takes alternative approaches.

this man revolutionized modern medicine, do you really think he would have successfully brought multiple people back from the dead if he didn't know what he was doing.

[great-pan-is-dead]

I appreciate you all from the bottom of my heart, but there's a trend with TimeRogue fics that had Ruby having left before the Doctor ever finds Rogue, and there's many things that could be said there about fandom, but my stone to grind is that Ruby Sunday is canonically Go Find Your Man Advocate No.1. Show my heartbreak queen the respect she deserves