#penny gone series

[fusionfanatic]

Hot take (maybe?): Penny’s torture of cigar was a totally unnecessary inclusion and I think speaks to mg’s habit of emphasising shock value at the expense of good writing.

Most of the analyses and deep dives of Penny’s character that I’ve read discuss one or more of the following scenes: her upbringing pre-FAYZ, her cementing of Caine, her attempted coup of Perdido Beach, her interactions and relationships with other female characters in the series, namely her sisters and Diana, and her infatuation with Drake. People have made links to how Penny’s upbringing, which involves witnessing her sisters being sexually exploited and being emotionally neglected herself as a result of her sisters’ sexual exploitation, has informed her self-image and her understanding of love, sex, and affection throughout her time in the series. People have discussed how her cementing of Caine and her poisoning of her sister demonstrates her inclination to react with violence when she feels her attempts to receive the love and affection (i.e. sexual attraction) she so desperately craves are rejected, a manifestation of her low emotional intelligence and lack of healthy coping mechanisms stemming from the neglect and lack of emotional guidance she experiences pre-FAYZ. People have explored how her interactions and relationships with Diana highlight the toxicity of trying to live up to the unrealistic standards of beauty and desirability imposed upon women by patriarchy and how such standards unjustly pit women against each other in their attempt to meet them. And although her interactions with Drake in the series are limited, I have seen people mention that it illustrates how Penny, in her desperation, is willing to sacrifice her own self worth in the pursuit of receiving any type of attention, to the point where she latches on to the most toxic man in their entire series. What all the discussions of these scenes have in common is that the people who have discussed them have done so in a way that substantively contributes to our wider understanding of what it is that I believe Penny’s character is meant to represent.

Of course, Penny’s torture of cigar is one of, if not, the most popular scene I’ve seen mentioned in Penny analyses and deep dives. I’ve seen people say that Penny’s torture of cigar is among one of the most memorable scenes from the series period. But every time it’s mentioned in a deep dive or an analyses, it is usually some variation of this sentence “Penny is an [insert adjective/s] character, but I also hate that scene where she tortures cigar and, as such, I do not defend her actions.” That’s it. For a scene which is supposedly so memorable, to the point where it’s all people remember about Penny, its inclusion begins and ends with just one sentence. It is relegated to being the obligatory “understanding a character doesn’t mean defending them” disclaimer at the beginning of every analysis and deep dive that I’ve read, a disclaimer which is oftentimes shoehorned in to every discussion and discourse surrounding morally complicated and unpalatable characters because people in fandom spaces have little grasp of nuance (a problem which is of course not exclusive to the gone fandom and one which I actually think this fandom in particular navigates well).

I’ve seen people make the argument that Penny’s torture of cigar is meant to highlight the deterioration of her emotionally unintelligent mind up until this point in the series, and the depravity of her imagination (channeled through her powers) as a result. However, if that’s what it supposed to be representing, then I think a scene she has later on in the same book where she demonstrates a new vision to Dekka in order to stop Dekka from pursuing her does a better at highlighting this. Penny creates a horrific vision just for Dekka which she describes as being new, clearly illustrating the depravity of her imagination and the deterioration of her mind up until this point. And it also showcases one of the talking points from earlier, in that it shows Penny’s desperation to seek love and affection at the expense of her own self worth (going to the mineshaft to work with drake and the gaiaphage) and her inclination towards violence when she is denied love and affection (going to enact her revenge on the citizens of PB and Caine by aligning herself with drake and the Gaiaphage following the failure of her coup). On the other hand, if you were to actually analyse Penny’s torture of cigar using the same talking points brought up in discussions of the other aforementioned scenes, you’d realise just how inconsequential Penny’s torture of cigar actually is to understanding who she is as a character.

In fact, the reason I’m writing this at all is because the only contribution Penny’s torture of cigar made to Penny’s character is canonically giving her a foot fetish 💀 way to go mg, sexualising the 12 year old girl that you were using to explore how the sexualisation of young girls can warp their self-esteem and emotional intelligence.

[dianaladrislovebot]

penny: what are some good responses for being stabbed with a knife ?

diana: rude

caine: that’s fair

bug: not again-

drake: are you gonna want this back?

jack, rubbing his temples: what in the hell is wrong with you people

[fallout--alley--youth--zone]

I was gonna make this post and then completely forgot. Anyways Drake & Penny should've been a buddy cop duo send tweet

[willgrahamsnightmares]

at some point while making another lose their mind, do you ever think penny thought of her mother?

[fusionfanatic]

Penny is 100% mistreated and mischaracterised by the narrative! While I do appreciate mg’s attempt to try to link Penny’s actions back to her horrible upbringing, giving us a clear explanation for why she is motivated to do the things that she does, I just don’t think mg tackles any of it with any type of dignity and empathy.

I hate how the narrative describes Penny’s actions as being ‘crazy’ and her in general as being a ‘lunatic’. Using that type of language only serves to diminish her trauma and dehumanise her, relegating her to the archetypal role of the ‘vengeful other woman’, if you will, rather than allow her trauma to manifest as a complex character. That is, like you said, is indicative of the writing’s deep rooted misogyny.

On the note of self-esteem, the way the narrative highlights the parts of Penny which she herself says make her feel insecure, usually physical traits (her hair, her chest, her arms etc) inadvertently perpetuates the conventional beauty standards which I believe that mg was trying to challenge and subvert through the character of Penny. Penny is outright stated to be unattractive for having the features that she does, and these features are constantly pitted against other female characters in the series (particularly Astrid and Diana), who, mind you, are all stated to exhibit features which are seen as conventionally attractive. The narrative constantly lauds Diana and Astrid for their features whilst very explicitly deriding Penny for hers. It also just so happens that both Astrid and Diana receive the most male attention in the series. It doesn’t exactly help either that Penny is Asian and both Diana and Astrid aren’t.

Penny’s character could’ve provided an empathic story about body positivity and a young navigating her self-confidence in a patriarchal society, but I think mg’s own prejudices kinda let him down.

thoughts after rereading fear

again. again i just think diana's pregnancy being twice as quick as it should is so unnecessary and such a silly plotline

but i love diana starting to integrate with others and wanting redemption and being cared for by others. sam & diana is a friendship i would've liked more of. i love brianna & diana too. and diana taking care of little kids <3

sanjit is just in love with lana and lana taking in his whole family is so adorable

i love astrid's development. but i solidly dislike sam and astrid's relationship by this book. i said i liked them in book 1 this time - and i did - but it just doesn't work anymore

i think drake's misogyny was so silly in this book. him being like 'ugh females!!!!' was so funny because yes we could tell he hates women by the fact that he constantly fantasizes about torturing diana and astrid. why are we spelling it out and making it comical

i enjoy orc's redemption and discovering his faith. i really like that little moment dekka and orc have. + him almost tripping and falling when he discovers that lesbians are in fact a real thing

so brianna is confirmed to be 13 here LMAO her age was definitely retconned?

i always forget howard got killed off because literally no one cared except orc, no one mentioned it, we didn't even really get to see the moment. it's a disappointing and anticlimactic ending for a character that we were shown had a lot more depth than he pretended

the cigar plotline used to scare me so bad when i was young. still horrifying obviously

that being said, penny is just. not a well written character. this is a 12 year old girl with bad self esteem and she was punished for her wrongdoings (less bad wrongdoings than most of caine's btw) with a brutal and horrible death. she caught the worst of the writing's deep rooted misogyny

quinn the character that you are

sam is the kind of aggressive ally who's like 'why didn't you tell me you were gay >:( i would’ve supported you. grrr why' to edilio and wanting to be housemates with his lesbian best friend. one of his funnier traits i would say

astrid and edilio one of my favorite friendships i think

dekka is my beloved i just want to protect her. she deserved better every moment. i love her proudly calling herself a lesbian, to the point where she corrects people who mislabel her. i love her being referred to as the 'antipanic presence' whose energy calms and supports everyone. she is my number one favorite after this reread i think

sam lowkey being protective over caine, like just a tiny little bit, is so funny

diana has been through hell like none of this is okay for a freshly 15 year old girl

[pepsinutellaandlaptops]

FEAR: The GONE Series, Pages 224-229

[cultsfy]

🖤🔮💃

Media: ‘Evil dead rise (2023); doctor sleep (2019); Penny dreadful (2014); Black Swan (2010); possessor (2020; ahs asylum(2012); kinds of kindness (2024); ahs apocalypse (2018); Carrie (1976); Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I (2010); reflexões de um liquidificador (2010); Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009); Talk to me (2022); Dek Mai - The Series (2018-); gone girl (2014)’.

🎙️‘skychaser - 104.5 sky fm’

[negai-no-astro]

it looks like there are multiple people there at the end? at least one astro can make illusions but can the illusions knock people out? or is the other guy's astro one that can put you to sleep? is kinpa unnaffected by the illusions?

Yeah there are, at least two but probably more. But yeah it's a bit of a mystery as to what their astro's are and how they work. Illusions or something similar does seem to be one, like I'm guessing Kuran isn't actually slime and Terasu isn't a zombie, that's just how Hibaru sees them (and feels them, the mind can trick you with this kind of stuff). I'm guessing Kinpa can see them but because she knows they're not real, she isn't scared or concerned about them. She also mentions Hibaru always being scared of that stuff, implying she usually isn't.

[fusionfanatic]

Gone fandom: You like Penny? Ew, she’s so creepy! She was attracted to Caine and Drake and she tortured Cigar to death! Poor boy…

My honest reaction to that:

[dianaladrislovebot]

so i just saw a @goneseriesanalysis post that truly shocked me to my core and i’m deciding that it is absolutely being included in the au fic so everyone say thank you to them

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Halloween, 2004

pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader (Elementary-verse)

rating: F (joel’s a flirt, but no actual smut, a good amount of early y2k nostalgia for my fellow ancient gen-z/millennials)

wc: 1k

series masterlist

October 31st, 2004

“Cutest little hobbit in the whole world.”

You couldn’t help gushing over your newborn daughter as she slept in her swing. You’d just finished carefully slipping on her first halloween costume, one that fit in with Joel’s chosen theme for the year—The Lord of the Rings. You’d decided to go as Arwen, the counterpart to Joel’s Aragorn, and had spent a pretty penny crafting the costumes from scratch. You’d always been a DIY kind of kid growing up, and even though it had been tempting to take the easier route and buy one of the cheap costumes from Party City given your newly hectic life as a mother, it felt a bit sacreligious to turn your back on your old ways.

Sarah had politely declined taking part in the family theme this year, choosing to dress up as one of the Cheetah Girls instead, but took enough pity on her pouting father to agree to dress up as Legolas for one singular picture. A picture that was never to be shown to any of her friends, as per her request.

“Oh my god,” she said, covering her mouth as she descended the staircase in her best elven getup, a white, synthetic lace front half-hazardously thrown over her freshly corn-rowed braids. “Dad’s gonna die over this.”

You laughed and nodded your agreement as you pulled out your new digital camera—one you’d splurged on for the upcoming holiday season—to snap a picture of your two girls. “Ten bucks says he cries a little.”

“Fifteen says he cries a lot,” Sarah countered as she tried her best to hide her face from the camera. “I thought we agreed on one picture.”

“One family picture,” you corrected with a smirk. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come trick-or-treating?”

She gave you a deadpan and pretended to gag, earning an eye roll from you. “God no. Besides, Jessie and I are working at the library’s haunted house. But save me some candy.”

“Luckily for you, Iris doesn’t have teeth yet, so it’s all yours,” you said. “But can’t promise she won’t put up a fight in a couple years.”

“Yeah, well I’ll have her trained by then,” she said, flickering some of her straight blonde hair over her shoulder.

Joel’s truck pulled into the driveway shortly after Iris woke up from her nap, you and Sarah cozied up with her on the sofa as you watched Hocus Pocus on Disney Channel—your pick, not Sarah’s. When Joel stepped through the front door, he was met with the sight of two elves and a tiny hobbit sprawled out on the sectional, a bowl of popcorn in his eldest daughter’s lap and a bag of candy in his wife’s. His grin was glorious.

“Have I died and gone to Middle Earth?” Joel said, shaking his head as he walked over to Sarah, kissing the top of her head before doing the same to you and then finally, his newest baby girl. “You’re gonna make my damn heart explode, baby girl. Look at these hairy little feet.”

He rubbed her socked feet between his thumb and index fingers, chuckling at the fuzz you’d glued on.

“And you,” Joel fixed his attention on his first born, his dimple showing with how hard he was grinning. “You make an excellent Legolas, baby girl.”

“I’m taking this thing off as soon as you guys take that stupid picture,” she said, souring her face. “This wig is itchy and cheetah print is calling my name.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joel said, rolling his eyes as he scooped Iris out of your arms. “We get it. You’re a cool teenager now, too hip for family costumes.”

“You guys could’ve been Cheetah Girls, too,” she said. “I would’ve been on board, then.”

“I don’t think your dad could pull off cheetah print, babe,” you said, standing up and setting your bag of candy on the coffee table. You didn’t miss Joel’s eyes appreciatively scanning over your costume, a devious glint in his eyes. “Come on, papa. You have a costume to get into.”

Joel shot you a wink before handing Iris over to Sarah, mumbling a promise that the two of you would be right back. A promise that you doubted he’d keep given the look in his eyes.

You hardly made it to the privacy of your bedroom before Joel hand his hands on you, tugging you close to his body as he placed a few greedy kisses to your lips.

“You’re keepin’ that on tonight,” he said, nipping at your chin.

“Long as you keep yours on, too,” you purred, gently scratching at his scalp as you melted into him. “My king.”

Joel groaned, swatting your ass through your dress. “I’m gonna have you kneelin’ for me later, that’s for damn sure.”

You giggled, swatting at his chest as you pulled away to grab his costume from the closet, setting each piece on the bed—wig, included.

“I ain’t wearin’ that,” he chuckled, but all it took was one pout from you to change his mind. “Fuck me, fine. But the second that thing starts to itch, it’s comin’ off.”

Once he’d gotten his costume on and took a good look at himself in the bathroom mirror, he sighed.

“Yeah, you’re definitely gonna be on your knees tonight for makin’ me wear this fuckin’ wig,” he grumbled, though you were too amused to care. “How do I look? Royal?”

“You look good with longer hair,” you mused, playing with the wavy ends of his wig. “You should grow it out one day.”

He scoffed. “Maybe one day when I’m old and my devilishly handsome looks have gone to shit.”

“I don’t know,” you said, biting your lip as you gave him a once over. “I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be devilishly handsome to the day you die, Miller.”

“Good thing my wife’s a ten, then,” he said, leaning in to brush a kiss against your lips. “Wouldn’t want to outshine, ya.”

You tossed your head back and laughed, earning another kiss to the base of your throat. “God, I love you.”

“Love you a thousand times more, darlin’.”

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

The Danger Zone (Part 18) - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC

Word Count: 3.9k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Medical Inaccuracies; Crying; Angst; Family Drama; Deployments; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description

Summary: You try to adapt to life without Jake beside you anymore.

Series Master List

Master List

Dear Jake,

You probably haven’t even reached the aircraft carrier yet. You might even still be on the ground in Miramar. But I couldn’t wait. I miss you. You’ve been gone for less than five hours, and I already miss you so much. I'm not saying that to try and make you feel bad, but because it's the only thing on my mind now.

Everyone offered to take me out today to try and distract me, but I declined. I think that I just want some time to myself. I honestly don't even want to get out of bed. Maybe I’ll do some cleaning. Or who knows? Maybe I’m an accomplished knitter who hasn’t discovered her talent yet. Or maybe I’ll bake again. I don’t know. 

Also, all of the tee shirts you left behind are now mine. Sorry, it’s just wife rules. You shouldn’t have married me and knocked me up if you didn’t want me to steal your stuff. 

I miss you. I love you. And so does our little girl. Come home safe, Lieutenant Commander. That’s an order. 

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

I went back to work today. Everyone tried to talk to me about you and the wedding and everything, but I just wanted to be left alone. Also, my cravings are all over the place now. And half of the stuff seems to make me throw up these days. Luckily, I still have the gum and toothbrush in my desk. 

How’s everything? I assumed that you made it to the carrier by now. Or maybe you’re somewhere else entirely.

You know all of those spy movies over romanticize how sexy it is to be waiting at home for your husband to return home from some top secret mission.

It’s not sexy. It’s just annoying. 

Here’s a photo of me and my bump. Don’t mind the mess in the background, I’m rearranging the whole apartment. Call it nervous organizing. It'll be cleaned up. Eventually.

She’s been a shy ever since you left. I can still feel her moving around, but even she seems to have realized that you're gone. I think that she just misses you. And I can’t blame her because I miss you too. 

I love you, Jake. Come home safely.

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

Dear Jake, 

I got the package that you bought for me. I hope that you know that if you were here, I would have given you a rerun of that time that we went to that desert concert. The one where you wouldn't remove your hands from my waist for a second. I hope that your big promotion doesn’t change how much you enjoyed it when I tied your hands up back in your truck. 

Our daughter’s been moving around like crazy today ever since I played your voice for her. She doesn’t seem to be willing to kick yet, but we’ll get there in time. 

I let Emma take me out today. We just took a walk around her neighborhood. Baby girl finally went to bed after that. But knowing her, she’ll wake up just in time for me to go to bed. 

Here’s our photo from today. Emma took it. I can’t believe I’m going to get even bigger. You owe me a deep tissue massage on my back when you get home. And I’ll hold you to it. 

We love you and miss you, Jake. 

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved in with Mav today. I thought I wanted to be alone, but I was wrong. Being alone with my thoughts just makes me sad and lonely and I don’t want our daughter to bake in that. She needs to inherit your smile and dimples, so I’m making a bigger effort to be happy. 

Penny took me to get my nails done today. I got a light pink for our daughter, but now everyone’s assuming that we’re having a girl. I haven’t confirmed it because we didn’t discuss it before you left but don’t be shocked when you come home to a lot of pink. 

I also started seriously researching some girl names. I never realized how many people I don’t like until I started trying to name our daughter. And you better speak up if any of the ones that I suggest are ones that have bad meanings to you.

I’m still digging through a whole bunch of lists but there’s such weird ones out there, Jake. And we cannot name our child something that would get us a look from her teachers. Or a stripper name.

I love you. Baby girl is behaving herself, but she misses you.

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

To My Beautiful Wife,

I finally got a chance to check my email. We’re settled on the carrier now, but we’ve been doing a lot of drills and long briefings. I'm sorry that I haven't written earlier. Know that the two of you are always on my mind.

I’m glad you got your gift. I tried to record what I could think of for our baby girl. I don’t want her to miss anything. And I don’t want her keeping you up at night. Has she kicked yet? By my count, you’re hitting seven months in a day or two.

Thanks for sending me those photos. I put up one of the two of you from that photo shoot in my plane. Really brightens up the place. But it also reminds me of what I’m missing. Sometimes I have to take it down so I can focus.

I miss you. I miss our little girl. Every day, every hour, every second. 

Try to relax. I know that everyone’s probably told you that a thousand times by now, but I don’t want you feeling stressed about me. I’m fine and I'll be home as soon as I can. Please tell me that you didn’t lift anything heavy while you were moving into Mav’s house. Or maybe it's better if you don't tell me.

And you can tell everyone about her. I don’t mind. It’s not like we could keep it a secret for much longer anyways. But make sure to mention that I was right. 

And you have to tell me the worst names that you've seen on these lists. I left a list of baby names I liked in my nightstand. I'd research them when I couldn't sleep at night.

I love you and I love our daughter. I’ll try to be home soon.

Your Husband,

Jake

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

I had my seven month appointment today. Baby girl is healthy and still measuring a little small. But her heartbeat is strong and I can tell that she’s going to be stubborn coming out. The doctor says that it’s only a matter of time before she starts kicking. 

I hope that the ocean isn’t too rough and you can see the stars. I remember when Mav and I spent a month in Hawaii when I was a teenager. We saw the most beautiful stars there. What if we picked a star name for our daughter? Not Stella, though. That was our dog's name growing up and I can't name my daughter after a dog.

I didn’t lift anything. Mav wouldn’t let me. And neither would Bradley. They’re watching me like hawks these days. And no, I didn’t mean that as a bird joke. Also, I can’t name our daughter after a bird. I’m trying to end the family streak of joke names. 

Mckeighleigh was the most ridiculous looking name I’ve seen so far. And we’re not naming our daughter Precious either. Or worse, Chastity. I don’t know how those nurses keep a straight face when they hear those names. 

And your recording telling her to go to bed has come in handy lately. Though I did warn her that we’ll be discussing the fact that she only seems to listen to you about that when she comes out. 

I love you so much Jake. You’ll be home soon, I know it. And we’ll be waiting for you when you do. 

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

I can't fall asleep, so I’m writing to you instead. And no, it wasn’t our baby girl who kept me up. I’ve had the worst heartburn these days. And Tums don’t do shit. They say that means that our daughter will come out with a full head of hair. I say that I'd take a bald baby in exchange for better sleep.

My baby shower is in a few days. Next weekend. Emma and Phoenix said that it was going to be relatively small, and I hope that they stick to it. I’m not really in the mood to see a lot of people anymore.

I yelled at Bradley the other day for making an omelet with three eggs because he left an egg in the carton without a 'friend' because he left an egg alone in its row since there was an odd number of eggs. Apparently, I kept crying about it for a while, but in all honesty, I don’t really remember much of that conversation. I’m pretty sure that Bradley’s keeping his distance now. You probably would have enjoyed seeing his face. 

I asked for a little box at my baby shower to put name suggestions in. I’m running out of ideas. I keep worrying that we’re going to name her something stupid. 

Baby girl is growing bigger, and I can’t believe that I’m still going to get fatter. I’m struggling to grab things off of the floor now. Maverick got me one of those grabby things that old people use. You would probably find it hilarious.

I love you. I miss you. I’ll write to you tomorrow. 

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

“Thank you,” you told Emma as she handed you a lemonade. 

Emma and Penny took you out for the day to spend some time out of Mav’s house. You were growing increasingly less interested in leaving your 'nest,' as Bradley nicknamed it, and they were trying their best to get you motivated to go out and continue to live your life.

You had done some shopping for a dress to wear to your baby shower and now the three of you were getting a snack before you’d head over to the Hard Deck for the rest of the afternoon. You chatted for a moment before you sighed, slowly got to your feet, and grabbed your purse from your chair. 

“Bathroom?” Emma asked you.

“Where else?” you joked, walking off. 

A few minutes later, as you were washing your hands at the sink, you looked up when another woman stepped inside the bathroom. You offered her a friendly smile before her familiarity suddenly struck you. Quickly drying your hands, you reached for your bag and turned to leave. But the woman stood directly in your path.

She had stripes of gray cutting through what appeared to be deep auburn hair. She carried herself with a sense of purpose. And an expensive handbag. She reminded you of some of the women you used to see at the country club that you worked at in college. The type who turned a blind eye when their pig husbands made some demeaning comment to the women on staff and were never seen without some kind of drink in their perfectly manicured hands.  

“You know who I am?” Georgia Seresin asked softly.

You stared her down, gripping the strap of you bag tightly. Your heart was beating hard in your chest, and you could practically feel the rhythm in your ears. Taking a breath and releasing it, you tilted your chin up and narrowed your eyes at her.

“What are you doing here?” you demanded quietly, looking around the small public bathroom. No one else was in there except for the two of you. “Are you stalking me?”

“I came to California when my son didn’t respond to my letter.”

“I wonder why?” you wondered sarcastically.

“What did he tell you?”  

“Everything,” you stated firmly. “Which is why I would appreciate it if you stopped acting like it was just a coincidence that you ran into me here, hundreds of miles from your home, when Jake is conveniently deployed.” You paused for a moment before repeating through gritted teeth, “Why are you here?”

“To talk to you. About my son.”

“What about your son?”

“I know that your child isn’t here yet, but when they’re born, perhaps you can understand how much pain it could cause a mother to miss out on their child’s wedding or the process of them expecting their first child. From a mother to a mother—”

“—I’m going to stop you right there.”

You tried to keep your tears of anger in as you thought about Jake’s expression when he told you about his childhood. When you thought about the pain that you could hear in his tone, that you could feel radiating off of him.

“Because a woman who calls herself a mother would never do the things that you did. You stole him from a poor girl who loved him. You lied to her, promising that you would take care of him and love him. And then you turned around and fed him to the wolves." Nostrils flaring and angry tears threatening to fall, you added, "Did you ever even tell him that you loved him?"

“Of course, we did,” she admonished.

“Did you? Did you tell him that you were proud of him? That you loved him no matter what happened?” you snapped, trying to keep your voice even. “Every night my mom told me that she loved me and that she was proud of me. How many times did you tell Jake that, Georgia? How is a child supposed to just know that if you don’t tell them?” Shaking your head as you let out a shaky breath, you turned back to her. “And just so you know, there won’t be a day where Jake doesn’t tell our child that he loves them. Not one.”

Georgia adjusted her handbag on her shoulder and pursed her lips together. Clearly, she wasn’t used to being spoken to in this manner, but you didn’t give a shit about her feelings. 

“Did you come here to convince me to talk Jake into speaking to you again? To buy my baby from me? A combination of the two? Does your husband know that you’re here? Is he waiting outside?”

Georgia took another moment to compose herself from your questions. She glanced down at the rings on your finger before meeting your gaze again.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Jake selected a woman as . . . outspoken as you,” Georgia stated, adjusting her handbag again. “No, my husband does not know that I’m here. And I’m not here to buy my grandchild. I’m here to try and get through to my son and I’ve realized that the best way to do that would be through you. The woman he married and is having a child of his own with.”

Your eyes flashed with annoyance at Georgia's words.

“I have no interest in having a relationship with you because Jake doesn’t have an interest in it.”

“There’s nothing I can do to persuade you to speak with him about me?” Georgia pressed, an edge of desperation in her tone. 

“No, there’s not.”

“You would deny your child a set of grandparents?”

“I will protect my child from people who hurt their father.”

Forcing yourself to take a breath, you stared down Georgia for a moment. She looked far more pathetic than you knew she was comfortable with. Apparently, she thought that she would just waltz in, and you would agree with her without any pushback.

But she couldn't have been more wrong.

“You know, when Jake told me about his upbringing, I honestly felt a bit of sympathy for you, Georgia. Maybe you were convinced that being a rich housewife to a pathetic little man was a better life than being loved by a poor man. And I’m sure that your husband hasn’t been kind to you over the years.” 

The rage flashed to the surface again as she turned away from you for a moment. 

“But how could you look another woman in the eye and convince her to hand over an innocent baby to a man that you knew would be a horrible father? That you knew would hurt that baby?”

After a moment, you walked past Georgia, who did not move to block your path this time. You opened the door and strode out of there and you didn't dare look back. Trying to gather yourself, you looked up to see Emma and Penny a few steps away from you. 

“Are you okay? We were getting worried," Emma questioned with clear concern.

“Fine. Let’s get going to the Hard Deck,” you stated, already turning towards the parking lot. 

“What happened?” Penny asked, studying your expression. You didn’t reply and just kept marching towards the parking lot until Penny rested a hand on your shoulder, forcing you to slow down. “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

“Jake’s mom walked into the bathroom,” you explained quietly, looking over your shoulder. 

“What?"

“She knew where you were?” Penny asked urgently, looking around with a protective stare. Wrapping her arm around your shoulders, she encouraged you forward again. “Come on, let’s get going.”

~~~~~

Maverick’s face darkened after you finished with your explanation about what happened at the mall. Grabbing his phone, he got up from the table with a serious expression.

“I’m going to make a call,” he stated firmly. “They can’t stalk you and your child. I don’t care who the hell that they think they are in Texas. That’s not going to fly out here. That’s not going to continue.”

“Who are you calling?” you asked as Maverick walked off. 

“An old contact. I’ll be right back.”

Penny told you to just let Mav make the call as the remaining four of you remained seated at the table. You twisted your engagement ring around your finger nervously, sharing a look with Emma and Bradley, who sat across from you. 

“She didn’t try to hurt me—”

“—Doesn’t matter,” Bradley interjected quickly. “It’s creepy and it’s over the line and it’s going to stop. Now. Just let Mav make his call. He'll handle it.”

“I know,” you sighed, holding your head in your hands. “Jake is going to freak out when I tell him.”

“You’re going to tell him right away?”

“I can’t hide it from him. It might take me some time to find the words, but I have to tell him.”

Penny hugged you to her side and rubbed your back with her hand, giving you the maternal support that you really needed in that moment. You sighed and leaned against her, desperately wishing that Jake would be home soon.

“Everything will be alright. We’re going to figure this out.”

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

I hope that everything is running smoothly where you are. And that you read this email sooner rather than later. 

Penny and Emma took me to the shops yesterday and when I was trying to leave the bathroom, I ran into your mother. She came up from Texas and she told me that she wanted to talk to me about you. Said something about using me to convince you to talk to her again. I told her that I wasn’t interested in that because you weren’t interested in that. She let me leave after that. 

I don’t want to stress you out or make you feel like you have to do anything when you’re so far away, but I wanted to be honest with you. Mav’s made a few calls and he seems to think that he has a solution. Don’t stress about us, just focus on your mission and coming home safely in one piece. 

We love you, Jake. And we’re safe, we’re fine. And we miss you. 

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~ 

Folding some fresh laundry in Maverick's house a few days later, you looked up when you heard your phone buzz. An unknown number was calling you and despite your hesitation, you answered it. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, Honey.”

“Jake?” you whispered out shakily, holding a hand to your mouth. Moving to sit, you tried to calm yourself down and not just simply sob. “How are you calling me?”

“I have my ways,” Jake replied teasingly. Growing more serious, he asked, “Are you alright?”

“We’re fine, Jake.” 

“I’m so sorry, Honey. She never should have been anywhere near the two of you.”

“We’re fine,” you repeated softly. “She didn’t threaten us. If anyone was threatening anyone, it was me.”

“That’s my wife,” Jake praised, causing you to smile bashfully. “But my father wasn’t there, right? It was just my mother?”

“Yeah. She said that he didn’t know that she was there, and I didn’t see him around.”

“Good. I’ll deal with them when I get home.”

“Okay.” After a moment you asked, “How much longer do you have?”

“Less than a minute. I’m sorry, Honey, I just needed to know that the two of you were okay. They thought that I was having some kind of stroke when I read your email and I managed to convince them to let me call you.”

“At least one good thing came out of the whole shitshow,” you sighed, resting a hand on your bump. “I love—”

You froze when you felt your daughter press her foot against your hand. Jake felt his heart leap into his throat when you cut yourself off and stop talking without a clear reason.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“She’s kicking,” you whispered softly.

“What?”

“Jake, she’s kicking. Our daughter is kicking!”

“She’s kicking?”

“Yes, she’s kicking,” you laughed, before your joy dimmed and tears pooled in your eyelids. Sniffling, you croaked out, “I love you so much, Jake. We love you so much.”

“I love you too. And I miss you so fucking much, Honey. And I’m so sorry that I’m not there.”

“Hangman, time’s up,” Jake heard from behind him, causing him to look over his shoulder. 

“I’ve got to go, Honey,” he replied, grinding his jaw to try and stave off the tears. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Bye, Jake.”

The line went dead, and you slowly placed your phone down. Holding your hand to your mouth, you finally let out your sobs. And about a thousand emotions that you'd tried keeping in ever since Jake was forced to leave you. 

Your daughter was finally kicking, but her father wasn’t here to feel her. And the thought only made you sob harder. 

Back on the carrier, Jake rubbed the tears that leaked from his eyes. 

He missed it. He fucking missed it. He missed his daughter kicking for the first time. He wasn’t there when his mother showed up out of nowhere and accosted you in a public bathroom. He wasn’t going to be there for your baby shower.

Jake had anticipated that deploying while you were heavily pregnant was going to be difficult. But he didn’t realize that it was going to be impossible, killing him slowly from the inside out. 

“Hangman?”

“I’m coming,” Jake called back, clearing his throat. “I’m coming.”

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[honkytonk-hangman]

How It's Done – Oneshot Version

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Aviator!Reader

Originally posted by unicornships

Summary: “Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.

Warnings: erm maybe just some references to sex? jake being jake? language? minions. big warning for minions xD

Notes: Originally I intended this to be a two-parter series, but I wanted to change how it went, so I rewrote the parts I didn't like and made the entire thing into a oneshot instead!!! This fic will replace the 'part one' already on my blog, but I will keep this part up, linked at the very bottom of my masterlist! thank you everyone for being so patient! Thank you @hangmanssunnies, my love my biggest support <3

Words: 11.6k!

“Well, I’ll be damned…”

You pinch your eyes shut and steel yourself at the sound of the all too familiar Texan drawl, hanging on to the hope that perhaps he isn’t talking to you. You’re out of luck though, and moments later Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin slides into the open space next to you at the bar, already posed in a casual lean as he looks you up and down appraisingly.

It makes your teeth grind.

It makes your face hot.

“If it isn’t Mirage. Would have invited you to play with us if I’d known you were here earlier…” Hangman cocks his head, and his lips tip up in an infuriatingly perfect smile. “But one can never really be sure if you’re around or not… and that's before you get in a cockpit,” he grins, but when you meet his eye at last, he looks away from you, toward Penny who seems to approach in the nick of time, saving you from needing to respond.

You blink down at your drink, and finish it quickly, unnerved by what you think might have just been a compliment of sorts from Hangman. You’d been stationed together previously, though you weren’t friends, so you’d been expecting something a little more acidic in nature. You’d heard him interact with other aviators, knew he liked to push and poke them, usually got away with it too. For some reason though, he’d never really gone there with you and frankly you’ve always just chalked it up to not being worth his time. In fact, you’re pretty sure the only times you’d ever actually spoken had been in the sky. To be completely honest, you’re more than a little surprised that he remembers you at all.

You didn’t exactly go out of your way to stand out…

You were naturally quiet, which wasn’t helped by your social anxiety, resulting in most people describing you as extremely shy. They wouldn’t be wrong, you suppose, you did tend to keep to yourself, the idea of having too many eyes on you all but unbearable to you. But if you’d thought a roomful of people singing happy birthday to you was bad, somehow being under the unwavering stare of Hangman is approximately one thousand times worse.

“Penny, my dear… I’ll have,” he stops to glance pointedly down at your now finished beer, adjusts his stance to lean even more and unwittingly makes the muscles in his bicep bulge.

“Five more on the Old Timer,” Hangman says, nodding to the man who sits on the other side of the bar.

Internally you blanch, but externally, you say nothing and give even less away, feeling a little ping of satisfaction that apparently, you know something Hangman doesn’t. Before he’d come along, you’d been carefully watching the interaction between Penny and Captain Mitchell. You’d never met the man before, but you knew how to read military insignia, which at this point, was more than you could say for Hangman, who dismisses him quickly.

You wonder if Monday morning you’ll be able to work up the nerve to tease him about it.

You’re distracted from your thoughts when Penny returns with the requested drinks. You had no real intentions of going and hanging out with Hangman and the others, but before you can excuse yourself, your empty beer is smoothly plucked from your hands, replaced quickly with a brand new one.

“Help me carry these back?” Hangman asks then, jerking his head in the vague direction of the pool table. You frown when he immediately takes off walking, not actually letting you help him at all, all four beers still slotted between his fingers. You find yourself following him anyway, as if he’d placed some kind of spell over you.

Hangman stops ahead of you at the ancient jukebox, looking back over his shoulder at you, nodding in a pleased manner when he sees you trailing behind. He waits for you, gaze never leaving your form, even as he nods to the space next to him. You awkwardly step up to the spot opposite to him, and look past the glass and at the selection inside. Hangman, once more, takes up a lean, this time against the rickety machine.

“Would you be so kind as to select track number…” he trails off as he checks the list of songs, but quickly flicks his gaze back to you, and smiles bright, tauntingly, again. “Eighty-Six?” he asks, but it's barely a question. You nod, and swallow, shifting from holding your beer with two hands to holding it with just one. You carefully tap the chunky ‘eight’ and ‘six’ keys as he watches. The machine’s little analogue screen confirms that your song is next up, and nervously, you look back up at Hangman, horrified to find he’s just been staring at your face for the past however long.

“S’been a while, Mirage.” He drawls, making you blink rapidly and look away.

“Has it?” Is all you can manage meekly in reply, surprised when he lets out a genuine sounding laugh. He hums warmly, and you practically feel it in your chest.

“And yet,” he lifts hand, two beers held expertly between his fingers, but he extends it to tap your nose, almost making you almost flinch.

“You haven’t changed at all.” Hangman grins Cheshire-like down at you, before his eyes narrow ever so slightly, and he leans in even closer while flicking his eyes up and down your form again.

“I don’t bite you know,” he tells you, his voice sounding serious, but his somberness lasts mere seconds.

“Well, not unless you ask me to first, sweetheart,” he winks and his smile grows large as your eyes grow wide and you splutter, flustered.

Your face grows hot with slight embarrassment, a wave of inner resentment at his teasing washing through you.

Hangman laughs, seemingly bored with you now, and he turns to walk back toward the pool tables. Without even looking, he beckons you to follow with one finger on his still occupied hands. For a moment your pique prevents you from doing so, certain that if you were to dip into the crowd now, he’d not care enough to seek you out again, let alone notice you were missing.

You know he didn’t mean it, you know his flirting is just to get a rise, but you also know that he’d never do it to Phoenix, or Halo, and a little bit of you hates yourself for being such a marked pushover. You make the decision now that you won’t let him do it again, if you can help it.

Your eyes travel past Hangman then, towards the pool tables where you can now see another figure has joined the other gathered aviators, and for the first time all evening, you don’t feel nervous to go join them.

You follow after Hangman, but quickly diverge from his path, cutting around a gathered group of Navy personnel to get there faster. As you approach, you take a moment to shake off any lingering anxiety, before gently laying a hand on the faded Hawaiian shirt in front of you, doing your best to keep yourself from bouncing on your heels.

Rooster half looks ready to wave off whoever is trying to get his attention, but when his shaded eyes land on you, he spins his whole body to face you, grinning widely in unguarded excitement as he gathers you up in his arms.

“Miri!” he exclaims warmly, and you can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you when he briefly lifts you off the ground.

“I was just about to ask Phoenix if she’d seen you yet.” Rooster informs you. 

“Seen who?” Phoenix steps around him, frowning as she quickly glances you over, though it disappears quickly.

“Yeah, that about tracks…” Rooster mutters mostly to himself.

“Nat, this is Mirage, you know her right?” Rooster introduces the two of you, and while neither of you make to shake hands, you only feel friendly energy radiate off the other woman, even as she openly looks you over now, nodding at Rooster’s words.

“Right, I have heard about you… I guess there's no real mystery behind your callsign… I didn’t even realise you were here… Sorry,” she tells you bluntly, but you appreciate her straightforwardness.

“They said ‘Wallflower’ was too long.” You joke lightly, and the other woman smiles. A moment passes between you, and you get the distinct feeling that Phoenix has become determined to never let you go unnoticed in her presence again.

You aren’t sure just yet if you appreciate that, but you are sure that you’ve just made a friend.

“Mirage?” Another voice joins then and you look to your left, smiling again when you see another familiar face.

“Bob!” you move to embrace him too, not seeing the look shared between Phoenix and Payback who watch you in surprise.

“Huh. Figures.”

-

Neither you or Hangman have moved since Rooster and Mav went down. The rest of Dagger had returned an hour ago, mission complete. There was no reason for either of you to be on standby.

And yet.

When the call came through that Dagger Two had been hit, both you and Hangman had separately requested to be launched, to help, but you’d been denied.

As a rule, you made yourself easy to work with, even if those around you were less compliant, and you’d experienced plenty of that, flying alongside Hangman the past few weeks. Whether it was him leaving you to get shot down in training, or refusing to fly as a team during simulations. And yet, despite his habit of ‘hanging you out to dry’ being the reason behind his callsign, deep down, you’ve never once doubted flying alongside him in the real thing like the others seemed to.

You’re glad for that lack of hesitation now, glad that it only takes a single moment of eye contact from across the tarmac for the two of you to understand one another perfectly. Glad that when you got word that somehow, Rooster was supersonic again, you already know his answer before you even ask.

“Hangman? Hondo’s cleared us for take off with the ground crew, against orders. You with me?” you ask quietly, looking over at your wingman, knowing that when you return you’ll most certainly be court marshalled, but unable to sit and do nothing any longer.

“To hell and back, Mirage,” comes his immediate reply.

You see him move in sync with you, both of your canopy’s lowering at the same time.

You ignore the panicked voices ordering you to stand down, long enough for Hondo and the others to get you on the catapult, and by then it’s too late.

In two seconds you’re propelled from zero to over a hundred and sixty, and in your ears you hear Hangman right behind you.

-

“Do you want to get a coffee with me?” The question makes you jump, your drink almost sloshing everywhere. The sudden voice, as well as the person it belonged to, takes you completely by surprise, but you’re thankful he doesn’t draw attention to your startling.

Up until moments ago, you’d been peacefully watching the ocean toss and turn, burying your feet in the damp sand and thinking about what you were going to do with your upcoming two weeks of post-mission leave.

Most of Dagger were a little further up the shore, a bonfire crackling away, although you weren’t the only one to have splintered off. Mav and Rooster were currently standing in the shallows talking, and you think Halo and Phoenix have moved to sit apart from the others as well. You had managed to sneak away easily enough, content to just sit on your own for a while, though your efforts appear to have been mostly in vain, if the man now plopped in the sand beside you is any indicator.

You blink at each other.

“What?!” you blurt out dumbly, not completely certain you really understood what he’d said. Hangman’s lips press into a thin line, and he looks away from you, linking his hands together around his knees, and staring out at the rolling waves.

“Coffee. Would you like to get one with me?” He repeats, sounding only a smidge impatient, but it still doesn't clear up much for you.

“I… No, I heard you the first time… I… I just don’t understand… why?”

Over the past three weeks you’ve been forced more out of your shell than you ever have before. It was torture. It was wonderful.

Part of you pats yourself on the back for being able to ask him so starightly, but another part of you slaps yourself in the face for questioning him.

Hangman turns to look at you apprehensively.

“Are you asking why coffee or why am I asking you?” He speaks slowly and carefully, his face blank and devoid of any hint he was teasing, though you think he might be anyway.

“Why… Why are you asking me?” You push, shuffling your feet in the sand, drawing his attention for a moment. He looks back at your face and frowns slightly, cocking his head.

“Because I like you? And that is usually what somebody does when they like someone. Ask them.” He answers, and this time you definitely get the impression he’s politely trying not to laugh, but for once, you don’t feel like you’re on the outside of the joke.

Still, you find yourself taken somewhat aback at his confession, admitted so easily and freely, as if it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, which confuses you.

“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean.

“Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–”

“–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by. Especially when for the past three weeks you haven't been able to get rid of the odd heart skips you got whenever Hangman acknowledged your presence at all.

And besides, you weren’t blind.

Hangman was ridiculously pretty, and not anywhere near as much of an asshole as he wanted people to believe.

He looks at you blankly for a moment, processing your words, before his face breaks out in a smile. It isn’t one of his usual smirks or tauntingly pearly grins, though. It’s softer, sweeter, and you stare mesmerised as he looks away from you again quickly, and down at his linked hands, nodding.

Two days pass, and even when you’re sitting across from him in a small, niche little coffee shop you had no idea existed, you feel like you’re in a dream.

You’ve never seen Hangman out of uniform, you realise, and it’s a whole new experience you’re forced quickly to process when he stands to go get your drinks.

Dark jeans, white shirt, casual jacket. It’s a simple outfit, but goddamn does he make it look good. Nervously you have to wonder if your white and blue sundress, sneakers and bomber jacket were having the same effect on him, though you highly doubt it.

He returns quickly, attentively, placing both your coffees down, before folding himself into his chair once more. You both look at each other awkwardly before you distract yourself by taking a sip of your coffee. Hangman seems to do the same, but instead of drinking, he begins tearing into several little sugar packets, and emptying them into his coffee foam.

You huff out a tiny laugh before you can stop yourself, and his eyes quickly snap to you.

“What?” he asks defensively, but the corners of his mouth twitch.

“I just… I guess I never figured you for a sweet coffee kinda guy…”

“Oh, and why is that?” his twitching lips turn into a full smirk, but it isn’t his usual Hangman smirk. You chew on the inside of your lip, and sip your coffee once more before answering.

“I’m not sure. I guess you just don’t seem like the type of guy who…” you trail off, unsure of what exactly you’re trying to say and even more; how to say it.

“Listen, I may have rippling, glistening abdominals, but I have a sweet tooth,” he says, putting on the defensiveness now, leaning toward you and pointing at himself. You pinch your brows together and purse your lips, nodding vehemently.

“I know how to have fun,” he tells you, tipping a third sugar into his coffee.

“Of that I don’t really doubt, Hangman,” you say, but his gaze snaps back to you again, almost sharply this time.

“Jake.” he corrects you.

You pause.

Of course, you knew his first name, but you’re fairly certain you’ve never once used it. Hangman has just always been, well, Hangman. But you weren’t in a cockpit right now, he’d asked you out, this wasn’t the time and place for callsigns. He wasn’t Hangman, and you weren’t Mirage.

“Jake,” you say slowly, carefully, as if he’ll tell you any moment he’s just kidding around. But he doesn’t.

“Miri,” he replies, slow like you, but softer, and it’s silly, but it sounds so nice coming from him. You shake your head and swallow.

“Jake, if you don’t like coffee, why did you ask me out for one?” you ask him, watching as he blinks slowly at you, before his gaze slowly drops to the latte in front of him.

“If I asked you for a drink, you might’ve got the wrong idea,” he starts, speaking carefully. “If I asked you for dinner, it could be too formal, too awkward–”

“–It’s already awkward,” you point out, making him grimace slightly, so you shrug.

“Coffee just seemed like– I just wanted to–” he cuts himself off and drops both hands to the table.

“Look– I just didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding about what this was. I like you. I know you like coffee.” Jake admits all in a flurry, his voice quiet, and his eyes flickering around as he speaks.

For as long as you’ve known him, you’ve never seen Jake unable to maintain eye contact, actually it seemed to be something he took immense pride in, and it always made you slightly uncomfortable, but right now he appears completely incapable, and it's not a side of Hangman you’ve ever seen before. You realise you might be meeting Jake properly for the first time.

You decide to let him off easy, with all the newfound courage Dagger had been feeding into you the past few weeks, and you change the subject.

“You know, when you came up to me at the Hard Deck that first night, I was kinda surprised you remembered me at all,” you say slowly, sipping your coffee and eying him evenly. Jake frowns then, but it smooths out into a cool grin, and he leans back in his chair, cocking his head.

“Are you kidding? I’m always clocking possible threats.” he tells you, making you cough lightly.

“How am I a threat to you?!” you ask in disbelief.

“Oh, I could name a few,” Jake teases, nodding at you, but flicking his eyes away, almost making a show of clocking an incoming group of customers behind you.

You weren’t clueless, you knew you were a part of Dagger for a reason. You were damn good at your job, but still, Jake was Hangman, not only was he an aviator you respected, he was an aviator with very high personal standards, and for him to see you as comparable to him… well truthfully, you find yourself rather humbled.

And then flustered, at his clear unabashed flirting.

“I always thought you flirting was just you messing with me,” you admit, and he grins wider.

“Can’t it be both?” he asks, leaning forward again, and clasping his hands together. He seems to have no problem maintaining eye contact now, you note. When you cold-stare him, he simply shrugs.

“You’re cute when you get all flustered and nervous, what can I say?”

“Literally anything else.” You grumble back.

You finish your coffee and push the cup to the side, crossing your arms on the table and leaning forward like he was. Jake mimics you, pushing his own coffee away, clearly with no intention to start, let alone finish it. You aren’t as good as him with eye contact though, no matter how much you’d come out of your shell, so you take the opportunity to glance sideways out the window, only for your gaze to catch on something.

Your heart thumps loudly for a moment in your ears, and you wonder briefly if you should act on the thoughts popping around your brain right now, or if you should just stay put.

You lean forward even more, and flick your eyes back to Jake who is staring at you curiously.

“Hey, I have an idea…” you start, chewing on the inside of your lip, before standing up. You only hesitate a little before offering your hand.

“You with me?” you ask without thinking, the words the same as the ones you ask time and again to your wingmen while in flight manoeuvres. Jake stares up at you for a moment, before he too stands, your heart skipping when he takes your hand. With a tiny squeeze you almost don’t notice, Jake grins, and nods.

-

“Oh, hey! Stop! That’s not fair!” You elbow Jake in the side, but it’s already too late. The hand he’d shot out to block your light gun had done its job, and where you’d previously been neck in neck for score on the dual Time Crisis cabinet, Jake’s character was now cheering in victory, while your screen was asking you to insert more coins and try again.

Jake chortles and you both slot your plastic guns back into their plastic holsters at the front of the machine.

“We never agreed to no interference,” he says proudly, and you sock him in the arm only half as hard as you can.

“I didn’t think it needed to be said!” you exclaim pointedly. Jake grins down at you, and collects his tickets.

“Quit complaining, all these are gonna go towards whatever stuffed bear or whatever the hell you want anyway.” He rolls his eyes, and gestures to the shoddy ‘rewards’ counter of the arcade you’d spotted from the coffee shop.

“I want the Minion.” You state firmly after glancing at the redemption counter for three seconds, and spotting the big ugly yellow creature on the top shelf. Jake sighs in a put-upon manner and shakes his head.

“See, this is how you know I really like you. I’m willing to ignore that,” he says, and you actually think he might be serious this time. You grin up at him as he takes your elbow, and begins leading you toward the back of the room.

“What are you going to cheat me out of kicking your ass at this time?” you glance around you, goosebumps trailing up and down your arm as Jake lets his hand slide from around your elbow, down your forearm and into your hand, which he squeezes as if in warning.

“I didn’t cheat, I simply used black ops tactics,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. You purse your lips at him and narrow your own eyes back.

“Cheat.” you say again, pronouncing each syllable deliberately.

You come to a stop then, and you look up at the old photo booth machine. Jake pulls out a fistfull of tickets, squinting his eyes at the label with instructions, before looking back over at the redemption counter. He seems to run some numbers before he looks back down at you with a grin, and waves the strings of crumpled tickets.

“My cheating means we can use the booth, and still have enough for a Kevin plush, so I don’t wanna hear no more complaining outta you,” he waggles a finger in front of your nose, and you blink up at him sheepishly.

“Jake– I don’t really want the Minion…” you say, before your voice turns suspicious. “Anyway, how do you know which one is Kevin?!” you lift an eyebrow, only for Jake to roll his eyes and push you into the curtained booth.

You orient yourself in the tiny enclosed space, looking around you as Jake takes a moment to feed several lines of win-tickets into the machine before he follows you. He’s forced to duck down real low, making the space even smaller, and you both stare for a moment at the small seat barely big enough for one person, let alone two.

“Well, either you can sit on my lap, or I can sit on yours, darlin’, but I know which one I’d prefer.” Jake intones lowly, and for the first time in an hour or so, you feel yourself get all flustered again. Honestly, you’d kind of forgotten about the explicitly romantic tone of this meeting until now, and more than that, your stomach begins to flip and flop like the first time you’d gotten in a jet when he eases past you and drops himself onto the bench before patting his thighs.

“Jake, maybe if you just move over a litt–”

“No can do, honey,” and he’s not even trying to tease you, he demonstrates the spread of his legs, and the tight fit into the booth, before looking back up at you expectantly again.

“Okay… Okay…” you say more for your own sanity than anything else, and turn, quickly perching yourself on his leg before you can really think too hard about what you're doing.

Your efforts are for naught though, because the moment you’re sat down, Jake’s hands are tugging you against him further, sitting you more comfortably on the thick expanse of his thigh, and you barely repress the noise that nearly escapes you at the feeling of his fingers digging into your hips.

“There we go, sweetheart,” he says softly, almost to himself, and moves his hands to wrap around you completely. If he notices your little noise, which by his self satisfied smirk he definitely has, he thankfully chooses not to say anything. Your face grows warm, not only at the hold he has on you but at the pet name too.

“Did you just call me ‘sweetheart’?” you ask, sounding half bewildered, half incredulous, forgetting for a moment where exactly you were and why. As you look over your shoulder at the man behind you, Jake stares back, his smirk still in place even as his eyes seem to search your face, his own expression mostly unreadable.

“Would you prefer ‘honey’?” he almost purrs, his voice distinctly amused, but you notice that he doesn’t back down, doesn’t apologise or step back.

It makes your stomach twist up in knots. It makes your heartbeat skip like a record.

You turn away from him, shake your head.

“It’s fine,” you tell him bashfully, wanting to grumble slightly when against your back you sense what you think is him puffing his chest a little. Quickly, you add: “Not at work, though…”

Jake chortles, but as you peek over your shoulder to look at him again, he’s relenting, his smirk gone and replaced with a far softer smile as he nods.

“Not at work, though.” he repeats lowly in confirmation, almost making you jump when he shifts one hand to steady you around the waist, his other reaching out to begin fiddling with the controls on the lit up screen in front of you.

“Alright, let's get this show on the road shall we?”

By the time you’re exiting the tiny cubicle, Jake’s hands still attached to your hips as he follows you out, you’re both laughing quietly to yourselves. You’re amazed to find just how much Jake can affect you, either setting you at complete ease or sending you into a tizzy, depending on what he’s said or done. Usually you wouldn’t be surprised by other people’s effects on you, you were jumpy and anxious by nature, but it was rare that somebody who put you on edge as much as Jake did, could also give you such comfort.

When he detaches his hands from your sides at last to survey the sheets of photos spat out by the booth, you marvel at how much you start to miss the contact. With all the subtlety you can muster, you inch closer to him, under the guise of getting a look at the photos as well, though really, you’re only hoping that you might prompt him into reaching out for you again.

Jake chortles and points at a set of two pictures. In one, you’re both grinning madly, pulling silly faces, and in the other, you’re wearing softer smiles, and you notice now, that Jake had pushed his face a little closer to yours. It makes heat rise in your cheeks, not just at the seeming intimacy of the photo, but truthfully, of how much you like seeing the two of you like that.

“You won’t mind if I keep these, will ya?” Jake asks, looking over at you. You simply shake your head, and he grins a little wider, carefully tearing off the two pictures before pulling out his wallet and tucking them inside, for sake keeping, you assume.

Jake lets you keep the rest, and absently, you fold them into the zipper in your purse, too distracted by the fact that he does indeed take your hand again, before quickly releasing it to instead wrap his arm over your shoulder. You can’t stop yourself from smiling a little as you blink dumbly up at him, and he grins down at you, ducking his face even closer to yours.

“Now sweetheart, I believe I was instructed to win you a minion plush.”

-

You try to avoid Phoenix’s hard stare, and focus on wiping down your helmet.

“You’re acting weird,” she finally announces, still managing to make you jump despite your anticipation. You then immediately proceed to do yourself exactly zero favours, proving her point by refusing to look up at her, choosing to instead hurriedly continue with your current task.

“What? No I’m not. I’m fine. You’re being weird,” you argue, wincing at your clearly abysmal attempts at behaving like a normal adult human. You start re-cleaning the pristine surface of your helmet, your nerves conjuring imperfections you logically know don’t exit.

Just before you completely lose yourself down the spiral of unhealthy compulsive behaviours, A hand, Nat’s hand, stops your own. Tugging the cloth out of your hands and taking your helmet away from you, she places it down on the workbench you stand on opposite sides of. Chewing your lip, you at last meet her eye.

“Miri, it’s okay to have a crush–”

“–I don’t have a crush!” You blurt out both far too quickly to be believable, as well as in sheer panic. Your face grows immediately hot, and you can tell Phoenix is trying not to laugh at the show you’re putting on so poorly. Her lips twitch, but her expression softens from amusement into something softer, mixed with traces of pity. Just when you’re starting to debate the pros and cons of sprinting out of the room, getting in your jet, and then flying away never to be seen again, she relents, releasing you from her eye contact and making herself busy as she tidies up bits and bobs littering the workbench.

You swallow thickly, and stay watching her, your heart rate only spiking higher as your anxiety builds once more at her sudden apparent indifference. You follow her movements without moving an inch, sharply aware that not only was she still very much focused solely on scrutinising you, but even more mortifyingly, that this conversation was far from being over.

“Nat,” you say with surprisingly more strudiness than you believed possible, pausing to swallow the dryness in your mouth. “I don’t have a crush, okay?” You wait for her to look back over at you, nothing but disbelief rolling off of her faux-casualty, giving you a bullshit shrug and a smile.

“Okay.” she says. You had hoped that would be enough, but you should have known better. You clear your throat again.

“Nat,” you say, only making yourself louder, as if that was a sign of nothing going on. She looks up at you somewhat blankly. You know you’re totally screwed already as her eyes dip to watch your finger begin quickly tapping on the bench before you with barely any acknowledgement from yourself. “There’s nothing weird going on,” you say, pleading with your voice and face and every atom of your being that she drops it.

She drops something, unfortunately it’s not the subject though, but you still feel some semblance of stress leaving your body as her fake lack of care dissolves, and she leans back to rest against the cabinet behind her. She crosses her arms and shrugs again while letting out a soft, pitying sigh, which this time doesn’t raise your non-existent heckles as much as it had when it first showed its face.

You stare at one another, at what you think is an impasse and wordless agreement to now never talk of this episode in your friendship ever again, but once again, you should have known better.

“If it’s any consolation, I think he has a crush on you too, so it's not like it’s a total waste of energy… despite all evidence to the contrary,” She says conversationally at first, before muttering out the last part under her breath.

“He doesn’t,” you state with so much certainty you almost forget for a moment that it’s not even a little bit true. Instead, crossing your arms too, you feel like a middle schooler having a much too serious fight with her friend at lunch. “We’ve just become closer, like all of the squad have. You’re just noticing it cause you want to!” you’re a little taken aback by the sound logic of your own reasoning, all points earned to your side then immediately becoming forfeit when you can’t help yourself from stupidly continuing to speak. “Why? Has he said something?!”

Your outburst of near-giddy excitement destroys all chances of you walking this back, and you find yourself with only one option left available. But your prior readiness to exit out of this failed interaction at roughly 300 kts/min becomes soberingly not so fun to fantasise about when you sheepishly remember the current charges against you, for the theft of the $70 million dollar military aircraft you’d technically stolen when you and Jake had taken a joy ride to pick up Mav and Rooster.

You're snapped back into the present as Natasha Trace regards you unreadably and slowly lifts one perfect eyebrow at you. You cover your face and hang your head, you reason with your now permanently mortified brain that if you just admitted to the thing she already believed to be true, she’d stop looking any closer, possibly finding out something actually secret.

It helps that your embarrassment for the flurry of extremely obvious questions is very real, and you groan into your palms. You hear before you see Phoenix laugh, listening to her chortle at your outing yourself, but you notice that he demeanour is warmer now, and she pushes herself up to sit on the top of the bench between you, crossing her legs.

“He’s not said a thing, but he doesn’t need to,” she tells you, seemingly glad to just be able to share her findings and observations, which you uncomfortably realise have been going on for a lot longer than you realised.

“It's what he’s not saying,” she explains, and you blink up at her in genuine curiosity.

“Huh?”

Phoenix turns her gaze upward as she thinks.

“He doesn’t make fun of you… or snipe at you, not really,” she begins, resting her head in her hand. “To be honest when we first met, I was expecting to defend you. You’re a good pilot, a great one, but Hangman isn’t exactly known for recognising that in others…”

You frown up at her, unsure of anything to say to abate her suspicions.

She’s not exactly wrong, even when the two of you were first stationed together, he’d never poked fun at you, never really called you out. To be fair, he hadn’t really acknowledged your presence at all, but these days you knew that was more to do with the fact that all this time, Hangman had liked you, had seen you were shy, and didn’t like crowds, and as you’d found out recently, often made more of a spectacle of himself to draw attention away from you.

You have to stop yourself from smiling dreamily at the thought of him.

“And I mean, he disobeyed direct orders for you, he knew what you were doing, and he went with you anyway… I’m just saying Miri, I don’t think you’d be disappointed if you were to say something–”

You quickly cut her off.

“I’m not saying anything to him!”

At last, given your already clear admittance of your supposed ‘crush’, Phoenix relents, holding up her hands and shrugging.

“Just think about it alright? It’s even sort of… cute, in a weird, Hangman-y way.”

You grumble at her, but thankfully she doesn’t bring it up again for the rest of the afternoon. Still, you leave the workshop with a sparkling helmet, cleaner than you think it ever has been, and with a pressing matter to relay to your boyfriend, most of which involves playing it much, much cooler in front of Phoenix the next time you all hang out.

-

You know you’ve made some personal growth when you answer the door in your matching Star Wars X-Wing PJ’s and slippers, and aren’t immediately mortified.

Jake stands there, already grinning back at you, and looking like a greek god sent to earth in his dark jeans and plain white shirt.

“Red Leader Mirage, your rescuer has arrived!” he announces, doing what you judge to be a surprising spot-on impression of Lt. Porkins from Star Wars, shooting a lazily salute down at slippers

Unfortunately, you aren’t given the chance to ask him more about his perfect Red Six however, as he’s almost immediately pushing away from where he’d been leaning against the side of your door, posing for your perusal you assume, and holds out a brown paper bag for you to take. You swipe it, and shoot him a thankful smile.

“Thank you, Jake, really…” you side-step his self-congratulatory jokes, but he doesn’t seem phased, simply shrugging, and taking a step closer to you, letting one hand rest gently on your shoulder, before he hooks it and tugs you into him.

You’d started getting all-too familiar with just how physically attentive Jake seemed to be, something you would never have guessed about him several weeks ago, but had come to terms with now. Clingy was never a word you would have used to describe him before. He hugs you briefly, then pulls back to look down at you, his brow furrowed and his expression filled with genuine concern, another thing you’d been getting more familiar with.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks, inviting himself in by walking you backwards and kicking your door closed lightly behind him. You’d come not to mind this sort of thing either, but mostly because you know if you asked him to leave again, he would, no questions asked. That was another new thing you’d been learning about Jake Seresin.

In comparison to how Hangman could be up in the sky, Jake was entirely understanding, one hundred percent supportive, and almost a little too observant when it came to your particular anxieties. It meant he often knew without you saying when to push you, and when to not, and on the occasion that you did need to say, he always respected those boundaries.

It was starting to make you nervous, how much you were growing to like him.

“Cramps are kicking my ass, but other than that, mostly fine. Thank you for these,” you try again, hoping that he really understands just how much you appreciate him coming over for you tonight. Never in your life would you have imagined feeling comfortable enough to ask Hangman to stop by the pharmacy and pick you up sanitary products, and never would you have imagined he’d make no issue of it.

“Sure,” he says, again with a shrug. “You want me to head out?” he asks then, tipping his head back at your door, even as he inches his face closer to yours, brushing his nose tip against yours. Your lips quirk, then break out into a full smile when he grins before dipping low enough to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your stomach somersaults and pulls at least ten G’s for sure as he continues to brush his lips against yours teasingly.

This hadn’t taken much getting used to at all. Jake was a good kisser, and had proved it after your second date, almost in the exact place you were now, both his hands cupping your cheeks and his lips full on yours, hungry and insistent. That had been almost four weeks ago now, but after his hands had tugged your hips flush to his, you’d quickly put the breaks on.

You were still slightly uncertain about going further with Jake so soon. The fact was, you worked together in a high impact, high stress job, and if anything should happen between you, it would be easier to keep things professional if you took it slow

Jake had, to your slight surprise, though you aren't sure exactly what you were expecting, nodded slowly and taken a step back. He’d told you that the only thing he wanted more than you, was for you to want him too. You’d had to explain that your position wasn’t because you didn’t want him, which had led to more making out, but he hadn’t pushed to go further and he’d left that night with the affirmation that however long you wanted to wait was alright by him.

“No, you can stay,” you tell him, wrapping your arms around his neck to stop him from pulling away too much as you try not to full-on pout. Jake smiles against your lips and presses into you further, moving to push you against the wall, where he crowds your space entirely and stops teasing you, capturing your lips with his at last.

You’re about to experimentally slide your hand up his shirt, a thought that had been lingering in your mind more and more these past few days, but your kiss is over too soon, and he pulls back, leaving you breathless.

“Weren’t you waiting for me, so you could do chores?” he prompts, nearly making you grumble. Instead you nod, and gently push back against him, heading towards your bedroom just down the main hall.

“You can wait in here if you like,” you suggest, feeling a little nervous about the idea, but it was something you’d been thinking about for a while now. Even if you and Jake weren’t sleeping together, that didn’t mean the two of you couldn’t sleep together, did it? It was something you’d wanted, specifically with him, but not really something you’d ever experienced before. You were ready to move out of these early stages of your relationship, eager to push yourself and your limits just a little, so you could settle into something more comfortable with Jake, something where you weren’t always a little surprised when he touched you, or called you by one of his innumerable pet names.

Jake shoves his hands in his pockets and nods, clearly thinking through what this invitation could mean as he follows you quietly.

“Um, I feel like I should say ‘excuse the mess’, but you know–” you cut yourself off and gesture around your bedroom when you both have entered. Jake snorts.

“Well that’s what being in the Navy gets you. I won’t judge if you say it anyway,” he tells you lightly, and you scoff.

“Yes you will!” you insist, and are met with a confident, familiar cheshire-grin.

“Mhm, but only a little. Have you changed your mind, honey?” he steps toward you again then, almost closing the distance in one stride, his hands still shoved in his pockets, but his gaze locked intently on you in a way you haven’t felt since that second date. Your heart beats so loudly you’re sure he must be able to hear, but he doesn’t mention it, just waits for you, crowding your space again.

“Oh, I– No… not… I didn’t… I’m sorry…”

The moment you speak Jake is stepping back, pulling his hands from his pockets to hold them up, his expression losing the intensity again.

“No need to apologise, my mistake.” Jake’s words are sincere, but he looks away from you.

You let out a little sigh.

“It’s just so soon, and with the trial–”

“–You don’t have to explain yourself, honey,” Jake pulls his hands from his pockets at last and places them at your waist, drawing you in. You fall quiet as he lowers his face to yours, though he teases you again by not kissing you, simply looking you over, and then smirking when you pout. “You want it when you want it, and that’s when I want it, okay?”

He makes you nod, before he at last lowers his lips to meet yours and kisses you, slow and sweet. You finally get the chance to test the waters a little, easing your hand carefully underneath the back of his shirt, making you giggle against his mouth when he jumps slightly at the feel of your skin on his. Jake doesn’t say or do anything about it though, thankfully just letting you explore a little as he tips your head back further to deepen your kiss, and you brush your fingers up his spine.

After a short while of this, he must feel the urge to tease you again, because with little to no hesitation at all, unlike you, he slips his hands beneath your shirt, his warm palms gripping onto the bare skin just above your PJ shorts, almost making you moan. You’re glad you’re able to hold back the sound, mostly, but your own surprise doesn’t go unnoticed by the blond currently kissing you.

He only continues doing so for a short minute longer, before he’s eventually pulling back, lips pink and kiss swollen. You can’t help but frown at the parting. He squeezes your waist, and nudges your nose with his own.

“What do you want to do, honey?”

You groan at the apparent lack of making out in your future, not because you don’t think he’d agree, but mostly because you’re not quite ready to ask him for more, though a part of you senses he’s not willing to let you off the hook for those chores you’d told him about earlier.

“I need to fold this laundry,” you point past him, to your walk-in wardrobe and the basket that lies within. Jake looks over at it and lifts an eyebrow, which you choose to ignore. He nods then, and takes a step away from you, making you frown even more when his hands fall from your body.

“I’ll help,” he says, making your eyes widen, and you quickly step around him to block his path, where he is clearly about to make for your basket.

“No! Um… It’s okay, It’ll be easier if I just do it…” you trail off, wondering if you sound insane and neurotic, but Jake simply raises his hands again and nods.

“Well, what do you want me to do?” he prods, and you realise, he’s come inside thinking you want him to help with your chores.

“I was thinking… I was thinking it might just be nice for you to just… be here?” You cringe, and narrowly avoid making a face at yourself. Jake blinks at you as if he doesn’t understand.

“You want me to… sit around while you do laundry?” he asks, tone confused, but equally unimpressed. You nod. Jake shifts, then clicks his tongue. “I was not raised to let somebody work while I sit and watch, especially not my girl. My mother would tan my hide.”

You’re a little surprised by the seriousness on his face, despite the humorous inflection in his voice. You suck in a breath, mulling over how to explain to him what you had been thinking when he came inside. Jake’s eyes flicker over you for a moment before he shifts again, crossing his arms and lifting his chin at you.

“Alright sweetheart, just say what you gotta say, I can hear those cogs turning from here…”

“I… I like that you want to help me, I think that’s really sweet…”

“But…?” Jake prompts.

“I find this kinda thing hard, and I was hoping we could just try and do something… domestic…? Together?” your face goes hot at your admission, and when Jake doesn’t immediately respond you wonder if using the word ‘domestic’ was too much, too soon.

“What is ‘this kind of thing’? I get the other part honey,” again, his voice is playful, but you see the seriousness behind his eyes and it lends you even more comfort. How is he so good at this? It’s almost like he’d read your teenage diary entry all about your perfect guy… it's the sort of attention, care, and behaviour that you’ve never actually gotten from a guy you were seeing before, so you aren’t really sure how to compose yourself.

“This kind of thing,” you gesture between you and him, before clearing your throat. “I don't know what to call it– us, but–”

“–a relationship.” Jake cuts in firmly, and you pause, heart thumping. You hadn't actually had this discussion yet, but you guess you’re having it now.

“Right. I mean, I’ve been in relationships before, but they’ve never really worked out and I feel like I never get to the point with boyfriends where I feel fully comfortable, so I–” you clamp your mouth shut, both at the use of ‘boyfriend’, and at the fact you were rambling, and you’re pretty sure it's too early to start telling him about how all your prior relationships failed.

“Right. So, let me get this straight; you were going to come back in here and put your laundry away, regardless of me being here?” Jake holds up a hand as he repeats back the information.

“Yeah…”

“And you just want me to keep you company?”

You nod, and clear your throat.

“Yeah.”

Jake stares at you, a level of understanding crossing his face, before his eyes flick to your laundry behind you, then back to your face.

“... And you’re sure I can’t help you?” His resolve sounds weak, and you think he’s already made up his mind to do as you asked, but his upbringing requires him to triple check. You smile, and this time step toward him, gingerly resting your hand on his arm, which he immediately raises, and flips, sliding it so now you’re holding his hand.

Again, you can’t fathom how he got so good at this sort of thing. Your knees go wobbly.

“I have a bunch of lacy unmentionables in there, so…” you try to lighten things, but it's not a lie. Jake picks up what you’re putting down, and gives your hand a squeeze. He tips his chin at you and lifts an eyebrow.

“Now why’d you have to go and say that honey? You sure you’re certain I can’t help?” his hands slip from yours to rest at your hips again, completely bypassing your top this time and your heart stutters.

You bite your lip, and nod your head, trying not to laugh him off fully, because while that may be your instinctual nervous reaction, you didn’t want to discourage him entirely. You liked that Jake acted as if you were a pretty girl, like you were desirable, and not like the awkward dork you actually were. You didn't want him to stop doing that.

His expression turns a little softer, and he leans down, moving slowly as to give you time to process, and he presses his lips to your cheek, lingering for just a moment before he taps your sides with his fingers, then steps away.

You’re still catching your breath when he looks back at you, pointing at what looks like one corner of your bed.

“Can I?”

You nod, and gesture at the whole mattress.

“Make yourself comfortable!”

–

You can feel the pounding music of the club in your whole body. The lights flashing and dancing in different colourways in time with the music give everything around you an ever changing aura, and maybe it’s all the drinks you’ve had tonight, but in front of you, Natasha seems to glow.

Her hands grasp your forearm firmly and you giggle, uncharacteristically carefree as you almost slip again.

“Alright! Okay, let's get you seated!” she says. She’s had a few too, but not nearly as many as you, and you’re glad for it now as she steers you toward the bar and grabs a paper cup to fill with water from the nearby water station toward the end. You find yourself drinking it without prompting, but miss the taste of the fruity cocktails you’d been downing all night. “I’ll call us a cab,” she says, beginning to pull out her phone, but you hastily stop her, placing a hand on her arm and shaking your head rapidly, making the colours spin even more.

“No! My boyfriend said he’d pick us up!” you insist, ignoring the way her eyebrows shoot up, then stitch together.

“You boyfriend?” she asks, but you miss the real question behind her words, instead you simply nod, and begin to fumble around in your own purse until you find your phone. Nat watches you expectantly as you open your messages, quickly tapping ‘call' on the top icon, and pressing the phone to one ear, and your finger to the other.

It rings less than once before it connects.

“Heeyy!” you sigh in relief down the line, happy to even just hear his voice after all night going without. “Yeah, no, everything’s alright, you just said to call you when we were done!” you say in reply to his amused questioning. You look up at Nat briefly, and if you were more sober, you might’ve been able to tell that she was leaning in slightly to try and hear the voice on the other end, but you aren’t, so you don’t.

“Okay, I’ll meet you out front!” you tell him excitedly, before adding on; “Is it okay if we give Nat a ride home too?” there's a short reply, and at last you’re smiling wide and nodding, even though he can’t see you. “Okay, we’ll see you soooon!”

You hang up and stare back up at Natasha, who's giving you a funny look that you ignore. “He said he’ll be here in ten, he’s been at the sports bar in town waiting!” you tell her dreamily, like she might understand what it means to you that Jake would choose to remain only a short distance away in case you needed anything, in the knowledge that you didn’t always enjoy nights out like this.

Nat simply nods and after making you drink one more glass of water, you begin making your way through the crowds and out of the club.

The air outside is warm, but refreshing and you take in as much of it as you can, not realising how stuffy the air inside the club had been until now. It was getting late, and bars and restaurants around the club are lit up and busy, the streets all around full of people either on their way to their destination, or lingering as they talk.

It doesn’t take long for you to spot Jake’s car and he pulls up close to the curb, allowing you to beeline for the passengers side door, not realising that Natasha follows with more confusion and trepidation. Jake jumps out of the car to greet you, rounding it to quickly steady your wobbly walk with a hand on your hip, and with the other, he pulls open the car door and helps you inside, leaning in to help you buckle in, grinning even as he murmurs quietly.

“You had a good night, sweetheart?” he asks, clicking your seatbelt into place for you, making you giggle at him. You lean forward for a kiss, but he dodges you, somewhat more aware than you are of your present company, and instead rests his hand so he can squeeze your knee. Your good mood isn’t spoiled and you barely notice the dodged kiss, so you simply nod your assent to his question vehemently.

“I had a lot to drink!” you tell him, before bursting out into giggles again, the soft, sweet smile Jake gives you going unnoticed as he squeezes your leg again.

“Yes you did,” he says with clear, fond amusement, and at last moves back so he can shut your door.

Unlike you, on the other hand, Natasha may as well be sober as a judge, and she eyes Jake somewhat distrustfully as she steps closer, lifting her chin up at him as she talks.

“What’re you doing here?” she asks accusingly, making Jake cock his head at her, only half as annoyingly as he can. He gestures back at you in the front seat of his car.

“Miri called, sounded pretty hammered,” he tells her as if that explained it. Natasha narrows her eyes and crosses her arms.

“Yeah, but she said she was calling her boyfriend, what’re you doing here?” She dares him to reply with anything but the truth, however luckily for Jake, unlike most men caught in her crossfire, he’s able to brush her off with an infuriating grin.

“I guess she dialled the wrong number, do you want a lift home or not?”

At his ultimatum (however hollow it really is, he wouldn’t leave her on her own in the middle of the night), Natasha frowns darker at him, but accepts the door he opens, waiting for her to get settled before he closes it behind her and returns to the driver's side.

When Jake checks his rearview he notes in amusement that Nat has situated herself in the middle seat, giving herself a perfect view of the two of you in the front. You don’t, nor do you seem to have any weariness in the bloodhound you’ve just set upon the both of you, but if he’s honest, Jake had known from day one that the second Natasha Trace suspected anything, your little secret was over.

He drives back as normally as he can, but it's strange to him now to have you sitting right there in his passenger's seat, and not have his hand in yours, or on your thigh. It’s strange to him to be in this space where the two of you are usually so open with your affection, and have to suppress it. Jake does not like it.

The car ride home is quiet, you seem content to look out the window, the tiredness hitting you now, but every so often he and Nat make small talk about whatever football scores interested them in the past week or two, and before too long, he’s pulling up outside her home.

Looking over at you to find that you’re slumped over asleep on his window, Jake follows Natasha out of the car with a simple offer of making sure she gets in alright. The congeniality doesn’t last very long, and once they’re standing on her porch she turns to him with a frown.

“You don’t really think I’m that stupid, do you?” she asks, for once not sounding angry or scolding, but seemingly subdued, maybe even a little upset. Jake sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Looking back to his car to make sure you’re still alright, he levels his squadmate with a serious expression.

“No, I do not,” he tells her sincerely. “But it’s Miri’s choice to not want to be public yet, all I’m asking is that you respect that,” he goes on after a moment. He doesn’t really believe she would say anything, but he feels the need to get her agreement, if only for your peace of mind in the morning.

Nat hums to herself and briefly looks away to fish out her keys. Once she has them in hand, she looks up at him again, a little grin on her face this time.

“How long?” she asks. Jake rolls his eyes and can’t resist the urge to mess with her just a little.

“Few years,” he states matter of factly, waiting for her eyes to pop wide before he lets out a victorious laugh and shakes his head. “A month or two,” he admits truthfully, accepting the hard sock in the arm as Nat scoffs at him and moves to unlock her front door.

“Something, something, I’ll kick your ass if you hurt her,” she grumbles as she steps inside, immediately kicking off her shoes. Jake straightens up and gives her a mock salute.

“Yes Ma’am,” he says, chortling to himself as he receives a middle finger for his efforts and the door is closed and locked again.

Jake feels a little lighter on his walk back to his car, and when he climbs in, he leans over to carefully adjust your crooked neck and make sure your belt is still strapped properly. You wake a little, confused at first, and blink up at him in happy wonderment.

“Hey!” you mumble, like it's the first time you’ve seen him tonight. Jake chuckles and leans closer to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Let’s get you home baby.”

–

You awake the next morning with nowhere near the headache you’re expecting, but with an array of distinct memories that cause a pit to open up in your stomach. The pit then begins to growl as you register the warm, homey smell of food, and with little effort, you force yourself up and into the kitchen, where you immediately attach yourself to Jake’s bare back.

His skin is warm and feels so comfy against your cheek, and the soft little laugh he gives makes your belly flop around. He lets you stay like that for a few moments more, moving slowly but smoothly so you can move with him, and at last when whatever he’s doing with his hands is finished, he reaches around for you and rests his hands where he can.

“Did I really call you last night? While with Nat?” you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you’d just imagined it all, but another soft chuckle lets you know you hadn’t.

“Never thought you’d be the one to let our little secret slip first. I underestimated you baby.”

You groan into his back, and try to hide your face, but before you can complain or dodge him, Jake has turned himself around, letting you instead smoosh your face in between his gloriously golden pecs, and you think things may not be so bad.

He wraps his arms around you properly, and for a moment you just stay like that. You wonder if you can convince him to come around shirtless more often, the warmth radiating off his skin feeling heavenly, not to mention he looked almost as delicious as the food he’d made. You wonder if he’d already worked out this morning, or if you can join him after breakfast.

One of Jake’s hands moves away from your back and cups the back of your head tenderly, making you mewl slightly, and you look up at him to give the attention you know he’s asking for. Jake stares down at you with a soft little grin, and readjusts himself slightly, so he’s able to drop his lips to meet yours briefly.

One kiss becomes two kisses, becoming three kisses and after that any semblance of chastity is given up on and he kisses you full and sweet, deliberately slow like he’s teasing you to ask for more, but for now you’re simply content to wash away all of last nights worries like this.

Coming up for air, Jake barely breaks apart from you, his lips still brushing yours when he speaks.

“I asked Nat not to say anything, she respects you enough to do that I think,” he says, dropping a few more soft kisses to your mouth when you crane your neck up for more. He goes no further this time, though, and leans back from you to gauge your reaction after several moments, and you force yourself to open your eyes and pout.

“It’s not that I think she’ll tell anyone…” you say to him, scrunching up your features as you recall your lack of playing it cool the first time she had brought Jake up to you. The memory makes you grumble to yourself, and you once more attempt to hide your face in his chest. Jake laughs, and makes you jump when he pokes your side.

“What is it?” he asks, like he already knows. You tell him, voice muffled in his skin, but clear enough for the details of your embarrassing inability to throw the scent off to be heard. Jake’s body shakes with more laughter as you relay the information, but instead of trying to make you stop hiding away, he simply cups the back of your head again, and holds it nearer, allowing you to wither your embarrassment away in the safety of him.

“I think we both know that the minute that woman suspected anything, it was game over,” he tells you once you’re done, still holding you close, but you feel his lips press to the top of your head sweetly, and you do your best to snuggle yourself closer.

After the bulk of your mortification has eased away, Jake makes you detach from him, but only so the two of you can eat your breakfast while it’s still hot.

“You know I don’t want to keep it quiet, like, forever, right?” you ask out of nowhere, your memories of last night replaying over in your head while you ate. Jake looks up at you and cocks his head.

“I’m happy to do whatever you’d like to do, for as long as you’d like to do it,” he says matter of factly, but despite the sweetness of his words, you can’t help but frown at him.

“No you’re not, and we both know it,” you push back, grateful for his always tender manner of going at your pace, but you’d likely never have been with him in the first place if he hadn’t thrown you out of your comfort zone that first time.

The only difference is, now you are with Jake, and you understood these things about yourself, and how they weren’t always as scary as your mind might make them seem. Jake frowns back at you, clearly ready to protest.

“I know you pretty well too, you know,” you cut him off. “I know you like PDA, and that you wish you were able to be more open when we’re out with people. I know you like to show off, and part of that includes me,” you tell him adamantly, because you know you’re right.

Jake huffs out a sigh and leans back in his chair, looking at you dead on, you know him well enough to know he’s a little annoyed at you calling him out, but you aren’t doing it to annoy him or just for the sake of starting an argument.

“Okay, so what if I do? That doesn’t change the fact that until you want something, I’m not gonna go for it,” he says, still frowning at you like he doesn’t understand what the point of talking this through is even about.

You change tack and, with your heart beat thumping a little wildly, get up from your seat and move toward him. Even in his annoyance, Jake makes room for you, pushes out his chair and wraps his arms around your waist when you seat yourself on his thigh, your own arms linking around his neck.

“Well maybe I’m giving you permission to go for it,” you say softly, quietly, because the idea still does make you incredibly nervous. But you like Jake, no scratch that, you think you’re in love with Jake, and you think he’s in love with you too, and something about that feeling for once in your life makes you want the same things he does too, including the PDA. You want him to sling his arm around your neck, you want to be able to kiss his cheek or hold his hand or whatever it is you two want to do, not just in the comfort of your own homes, but out at the Hard Deck with your friends, too.

Jake blinks up at you, like at first your words don’t even register, but then he’s tightening his hold around your waist, and grinning wolfishly up at you, all cocky and infuriating if you didn’t find it utterly charming. If you didn’t completely adore him, even this part.

“Permission granted, Lieutenant?” he asks mischievously, and you can’t stop yourself from giggling, like you’re drunk all over again.

“Permission granted, Lieutenant!”

[pepsinutellaandlaptops]

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Finally drew the best and arguably most creepy scene in Gone :)

[ohmyitsfaith]

Younger survivors

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: In your thirteen year old bodies, you try to navigate your first day in 2019. Thankfully, the Hargreeves siblings are ready to help your little family.

Warnings: Viktor referred to as Vanya and she/her pronouns, non-sexual nudity

Word count: 3k

A/n: This time I genuinely debated whether or not just write Viktor as Viktor, instead of delivering his full story through the rest of the series. If this ends up being the last chapter, I will come back and actually change the pronouns and the name, but for now I stayed with Vanya.

The shock of being in your 13 year old body didn’t hit until Penny started crying. At first you weren’t sure what made her cry. She just stopped a moment ago, so the fear now faded. And then, dread pooling in your stomach, you realized that you just started feeding Penny when you jumped. She was undoubtedly still hungry.

“I-” you started, Five’s siblings still staring at you, shocked by your sudden entrance. “Five-” you looked at your husband. “Could we go in?”

“Y-yeah” Five nodded, picking up Max into his arms.

“Five!” the woman with the beautiful curly hair called out to him. Allison, if you remembered correctly about Five’s description of his siblings. “Don’t you think you have some explaining to do?”

“Yeah, but my children are more important right now” Five sighed. “Inside. I’ll tell you everything.”

He gently took your hand, and you walked into the building. He showed you the kitchen.

“Five” you whispered. “Penny is hungry.”

“Do you need a private-” then he realized what you already had when Penny started crying. You didn’t produce milk anymore. “Oh… shit.”

You sat down on a chair, bouncing baby Penny in your arms. Five sat Max down next to you. Max still looked frightened. You could only imagine just how much. Previously he could express all his thoughts and now, caused by his much younger body’s not yet fully developed muscles, he was confined to his thoughts and some words.

“Mama” he said, looking at you and you could see all his fears in his eyes.

“I know, darling” you reached out with your free hand, caressing his face. “Everything will be okay.”

Max leaned into your side, reaching up to hold Penny’s little leg in a comforting manner.

Through this conversation, Five blinked out, then back in, his arms full of different formulas.

“I…” he put the bottles down. “I didn’t know which…”

“It’s okay” you sighed, reaching for his hand. “This is still better than what we had with Max. Neither of us could’ve known which one is right” you said, trying to calm his racing mind. “Thank you, darling.”

There was a cough from the side, which made you look at the Hargreeves siblings. They crowded in the doorway to the kitchen, watching you with different expressions. In a moment’s time though, Allison stepped forward, grabbing one of the formula bottles and went to the sink. Without a word, she started preparing the formula, and even produced a bottle. You could only watch in astonishment.

“Five” the big guy, Luther, called out to him. “Explain, please.”

Five looked toward him and nodded. He looked around, while gathering his thoughts, looking for something. He grabbed some bread, a jar of peanut butter and a bag of… marshmallows?

“First: a question. What’s today’s date?” he looked up at the group and started on a sandwich.

“The 24th of March” Vanya answered.

“Good” Five sighed and put the peanut butter on both breads. He spread it carefully while he started to talk. “The truth is, while for you I’ve only been gone for seventeen years, I actually spent about thirty-five years away.”

“Away where?” Luther asked.

“In a place that’s worse than hell. Part of the future.”

Allison finished the formula and turned, presenting it to you.

“Thank you so much” you looked up at her, grateful.

“I know what it’s like to struggle with breastmilk” she smiled gently, then turned to Five. “Is this what you’ve done in those thirty-five years?”

“I’ve done a lot more” he gritted his teeth, his short temper getting the better of him. How dare Allison demean you and his family? But then he noticed you, squinting your eyes at him in warning. You started feeding Penny, who eagerly latched onto the bottle. “Yeah…” he sighed finally, sprinkling marshmallows on the peanut butter and putting it together, he placed the sandwich in front of Max. “This is my little family. Y/n, my wife” you smiled at the group, “Max, my son” he gently ran his fingers through his hair. “And my daughter, Penny.”

“It’s nice to meet you all” you nodded to them. “Five told me a lot about you.”

Allison, Vanya and Klaus all smiled back, while Diego and Luther still watched Five, confused.

“Okay, so…” Diego started. “What? You’re forty-eight?”

“No, my consciousness is forty-eight” he looked down at himself. “My body is apparently thirteen.”

“How did you even come back?” Vanya asked.

“Well… in the end I had to project our consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of ourselves that exists across every possible instance of time” he explained.

“That makes no sense” Diego scoffed.

“It would if you were smarter” Five replied immediately.

“In english” you put down the now empty bottle on the table and lifted Penny to your shoulder to burp her. “He grabbed a timeless version of us and transported that body here.”

“How are you thirteen then?” Klaus asked, looking at you, curious, ignoring Diego who was ready to fight with Five.

“A slip in the calculation” you hummed, and touched Five’s hand, who looked at you very guiltily. “Not ideal, but at least we’re here.”

“At the very least” Five whispered and took your hand in his own to kiss your knuckles, right on the ring that was now loose on your finger.

“Well, aren’t you two cuties” Klaus grinned.

“Dada” Max’s voice was thin, looking at Five. “I’m hungry.”

“Are you sure, little crumb? Your stomach isn’t as big as it was an hour ago” he said gently.

“I want more” Max nodded.

“Well, alright” Five sighed and started on the second sandwich. “Y/n?”

“Yeah, I could eat” you nodded. “Don’t forget to make yourself one as well.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Can…” Klaus suddenly spoke up. “Can I hold my niece?”

“I don’t think that’s a-” Allison started, but you stood up and went over to Klaus.

“I trust him” you looked toward Allison for a second before looking at Klaus. “You see how I’m holding her? Try to copy it. Though she can hold her own head up now, we should be careful.”

“Klaus nodded and tried to copy your arm placement. After he somewhat got it, you placed Penny gently in his arms, making sure that she was held tightly.

“Good” you smiled gently.

“Oh my god, she is tiny!” Klaus breathed.

“Yeah. But Max was smaller.”

“She is beautiful” he awed at her sleeping form. “Her little nose is yours. But those lips, they’re Five’s through and through.”

“Her eyes are Five’s as well. Both children were lucky to get his beautiful green eyes.”

“Your eyes are plenty beautiful, my love” he looked at you seriously.

“I know. But your eyes, my love” you said, mockingly serious, “are magical.”

“Shut up” Five rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his face.

“She truly is beautiful” Allison said finally. “They both are.”

“Thank you” you smiled.

“How old were they?” Vanya asked suddenly.

“Thirteen” Max said, with a lisp. He immediately frowned, annoyed that his ‘r’ didn’t roll.

“Yeah, he was thirteen and Penny was two” you confirmed, taking the sandwich that Five offered you with a grateful smile.

“That’s quite a big change” Luther marveled.

“About as big as the change from forty-eight to thirteen” Five commented.

“This is stupid” Diego finally stood up and left the room.

The rest of the Hargreeves sighed, used to Diego’s almost permanently annoyed state, but you just looked at the door, where he left, confused.

“What’s his problem?” you asked.

“He is… well” Luther tried to explain. “He isn’t really happy that the family is back together.”

“No, he isn’t really happy that you accused us of Dad’s murder” Allison looked at him, annoyed as well.

“Again, I didn’t-” Luther raised his voice slightly.

“Shut up!” Klaus looked at him. “You’ll wake up Penny.”

“Sorry…” Luther quieted down.

“We should get some fresh clothes” Five put his hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll help” Allison stood up. “I’ll grab some children’s clothes.”

Five nodded gratefully and reached out for Max to take his hand. “Come on, little crumb. We’ll take a shower.”

“Okay dada” Max nodded, smiling.

You took Penny from Klaus’s hands, smiling at the man, then followed your husband out of the kitchen. He lead you to a room that had a kid’s bed and cute wallpaper on the walls.

“Was this your room?” you marveled at your surroundings.

“Yeah” he nodded.

But along with the awe of finally seeing your husband’s old room, you also feel a deep rooted sadness. He was so young when he disappeared. He was young and scared shitless. Sure, so were you, but seeing this… it made your heart hurt all the more. You turned to him and watched as he opened the closet and looked at the clothes, frowning.

“Five…” you called out to him gently. He turned to you questioningly. “Are you okay?”

He looked away for a moment, thinking. Was he? He finally had everything he worked for. He finally got back to his siblings, who he loved endlessly. He could finally save them.

But in the process of everything, he managed to get himself and his family stuck in their younger bodies. He now looked thirteen, his wife also. If he didn’t know it was you, who traveled with him, he probably wouldn’t have recognized you. After all, he didn’t know you from the beginning of his time in the apocalypse.

“I’m managing” he said simply. “It’s not easy, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Okay” you nodded and leaned closer to press a kiss to his lips. “I’ll be here. Always.”

“Thank you, my love” he smiled thankfully, then turned back and took two uniforms out of the closet. “Here you go, this should be good for you as well.”

“So… we’ll be matching?” you smirked.

“Yeah” he nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Ah, true couple goals” you sighed, which earned a laugh from Five.

He pressed a kiss to your temple, pulling you close. “You’re so dumb” he said fondly.

Allison finally arrived with a bag of clothes for Max and Penny separately. She helped pick out an outfit for the two of them, so Max and Five could finally head off for a shower. From the door, Five looked back.

“Thank you” he said, looking at Allison.

“From one parent to another, this is nothing” she smiled.

“Her name is Claire, right?” he asked and Allison nodded with slightly wider eyes. She didn’t think Five knew about her daughter. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

With that they left the room. You finally sat down on Five’s bed and sighed. This was already a long day and you were tired. Thankfully, Penny was still sleeping in your arms. You were blessed by her deep sleeping habits on many occasions. One being this time.

“Can I hold her?” Allison asked suddenly.

“Oh, uh, sure” you snapped out of your thoughts. She gently took your daughter from your arms and sat down next to you. “It’s so weird…”

She turned to you, curious what you were thinking about.

“Well… I’m now thirteen. Barely ten years older than my son and barely twelve years older than my daughter” you explained your thoughts. “I never really worried about what people thought of me. But now…”

“Well… some of us live really private lives” Allison tried to soothe you.

“Not you though” you smiled. “I heard you’re an actress.”

“Yeah” she laughed gently.

“I wonder how my life would’ve turned out if…” you sighed, not having the heart to finish it. “When I was a kid, I would’ve loved to become an actor or singer” you reminisced. “Though on the flip side, I would’ve loved to be a spy, a doctor, an astronaut, a teacher and a bunch of other things as well” you laughed.

“The dreams of kids…” Allison commented, a gentle smile resting on her face. “Instead you became a mother. It’s kind of the best job in the world.”

“It really is” you looked at your daughter and caressed her chubby cheeks gently.

“Did you have a dream job? One that stayed your dream no matter what else was there?” she asked.

“Hm” you hummed. “I’m not really sure. It’s been a long while. Why?”

“Well… you got a second chance at achieving that dream” she explained. “Not many people get that” she furrowed her brows. “Actually, no one really gets that.”

“That’s true” you nodded, thinking about it.

“Hell, you could even have a full football team of kids” she snorted and it also made you laugh. You really could. Though you didn’t know if that was really something you’d want.

“Yeah, maybe.”

You sat in silence for a few seconds, Allison gently rocking Penny. You could see on her face how much she loved kids. And she was really good with them. With Penny. It made sense with her having a daughter as well.

“How old is she?” you asked.

“Claire?” she looked at you and you nodded. “Five. She is five.”

“Those are the golden years” you sighed. “From the age of three to six. Everything just gets harder after that.”

“Yeah” Allison nodded, looking thoughtful and… sad.

The next moment Max came running in, his underwear and shirt on, but he was missing his pants. As he rounded the corner, his socks slipped on the floor and he fell on his side.

“Max!” you jumped up and hurried over to him. “Son, what did we say about running in your socks!”

You helped him up, looking his body over to see if he injured himself anywhere.

“Sorry Mama” he looked at you sadly.

“Why were you even running?” you asked him, taking his hands in your own. You noticed that the skin of his palms were scraped.

“Will you heal it?” Max asked, ignoring your question.

“You caused this yourself, why should I?” you looked at him seriously. “You know our rule. If the injury is small, like a scrape, plus you inflicted it upon yourself because you didn’t listen to dad or me, then you have to suffer the consequences.”

“But Ma!” he whined. “Please, for the funeral!”

“Max” you narrowed your eyes. “That’s the rule.”

“Please” he stomped his feet, looking at you with puppy eyes.

“Max.”

“You heal?” Allison suddenly asked. “You have a superpower?”

“Yeah. I can heal any injuries” you nodded, looking back at her. “It takes time and energy though.”

“That’s… awesome” she hummed.

You looked back at Max. “Put your pants on. You can have a plaster, but that’s it.”

“But-”

“No buts” you put your finger up and stood up. “Allison,” you looked at her. “Could I ask you to watch Max and Penny for a bit? I’ll go shower quickly.”

“Yeah” she nodded.

“Thank you so much” you said gratefully and grabbed the uniform Five gave you.

When you were going up to Five’s room, he pointed out one of the bathrooms, that was closest to his room. That’s where you were headed, hoping to find your husband still there. Everything was so hard to process and you needed comfort from him if only for a short while. And you knew he needed some as well.

The shower was running when you reached the door and you knocked on it.

“Five, darling?” you called out to him.

“I’m here” he yelled over the rushing water.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

You didn’t hear a reply, but opened the door and quickly slid in. He was currently showering, his dirty clothes on a chair close by. His ring on the sink, safe from falling down the drain.

“Everything okay?” he asked, looking at you.

“Yeah” you sighed and put your fresh clothes next to his. You made quick work of your clothes and placed your ring next to his. He helped you into the tub, his hands going to your waist immediately. “Yeah, now I am.”

You pulled him in for a hug, your feelings washing over you along with the water. It was warm, perfectly so. His arms held you tight, and though you knew this was your husband and his hug still felt the same in terms of feelings shared, it was also… off. Like this body that held you close wasn’t the same.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to forget about it.

“I’m sorry” Five suddenly whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

It broke you. It wasn’t Five’s fault. Time travel was messy to begin with, he couldn’t have known. You will never blame him for it. You were at least safe, you could help his family.

You felt him start to shake. A rare moment of complete vulnerability that he had trouble showing even around you. And it broke your heart so much that you couldn’t really do anything to help him. You just hugged him close, caressing his bare back. You also felt the tears in your own throat, but tried to keep them in.

“It’s going to be okay” you whispered into his neck. “It’s all going to be okay.”

He squeezed harder at that, his shoulders shaking with the force of his silent sobs. You couldn’t help it anymore, your own tears slipped loose. You didn’t know… how could you help him? There wasn’t anything… you were helpless.

You put one of your hand into his hair, massaging his roots, while you tried to keep your own sobs down.

“I’m here” you whispered. “We’re here.”

His right hand gripped the back of your neck, trying to pull himself back to the ground. Though this is what he wanted, to be here with his siblings, he also couldn’t help but wish his life back. His body. Not this small one. He even wished for the small height difference that you had before.

“We’ll be okay” you sighed, your own emotions finally back in order.

“We’ll be okay” he repeated, swallowing his sobs. He breathed deeply, smelling your familiar scent. At least that was the same.

“I love you” you said, massaging his head. “No matter the body, the age, I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too” he sighed, calming down. “I love you too.”

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Masterlist]

Taglist: @snixx2088 @lxkeeeee @kimm4710 @sagestack @koshi-sama @cherryinsalemverse @lifrimen @misty-eyed-memory

[callsignseagull]

all you had to do was stay ✪ part 9

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: Six years ago Jake hit your life like a hurricane. In and out in a matter of weeks. You thought after you get over the disappointment of him leaving without saying a word you’d never think of him again. But then two pink lines change your life forever. Now he’s back and still has no idea that the little girl by your side is his daughter.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: a little bit of angst, me not knowing how the navy works so just assume it works like that lol, SMUT 18+ [unprotected sex, oral f receiving, a little breeding kink maybe?, dirty talk, praising, cumplay, the whole thing is pretty filthy considering this series has been quite tame so far lol]

A/N: Here’s part nine!! the final part before the epilogue!!!! enjoy

feedback is always appreciated <3

series masterlist || masterlist

You use every opportunity to distract yourself from the fact that Jake is gone and you don’t know when he’ll be back. If he’ll be back. You really try your best not to think too negatively, but you can’t help worrying. You just hope it gets better with time, because you know for a fact that you’re going to be with Jake when he comes back. If he comes back.

You shake your head to get rid of these thoughts. You have to stay positive, if not for you then for Josie. She’s the ray of hope in your dark thoughts. She doesn’t even consider the fact that Jake might not come back. You know it’s because she doesn’t know the severity of this mission and the dangers of his job in general. But it still cheers you up. 

Thankfully, your week is packed full with promo for your new book. You’ve got several signings and interviews, and you thank whoever is responsibly because it couldn’t have come at a better time. Josie spends a lot of time at Penny’s while you’re working. Penny is restless as well. With your whirlwind of emotions around Jake’s return you completely missed that Penny rekindled an old romance as well. And now you’re both praying that they’ll get back from their mission unscathed.

You’re in LA for the day, being interviewed and doing a signing in a small bookstore. Just like the days before, you’re thankful for the distraction. But it’s also exhausting. You’re not used to this much human interaction, and as much as you love seeing your little readers’ smiling faces and listening to parents tell you how much they love your books, you feel like your own smile is stuck on your face. Your cheeks are hurting. And it’s draining to pretend to be carefree. 

When you finally leave at the end of the day you can’t wait to pick up Josie and go home. You honestly just want to sleep. This was your last commitment for a while and you’re already thinking about just spending a week doing nothing except play with Josie. You need to recharge your batteries.

Back in San Diego, Josie seems equally as excited to see you. 

“Thank you so much for looking after her and Muffin,” you give Penny a hug. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Penny waves her hand dismissively. “I love spending time with these two. And I know both of us could use the distraction.” She gives you a lopsided smile.

You nod your head. “Yeah I guess so. It’s just hard not knowing anything.” 

“They’ll come back.” Penny sounds certain, but you know she’s trying to convince herself as much as she’s trying to reassure you. 

You feel yourself tearing up, so you just nod again. “You have fun on your sailing trip okay?” Penny and Amelia decided to go on a spontaneous sailing trip first thing tomorrow morning. You know it’s another distraction for Penny, but you don’t mention it.

“We will! And you get some rest, okay?” She gives you that concerned mom look and you have to roll your eyes.

“I don’t think I have much of a choice.” You laugh. “I’ll probably go to bed right after tucking Josie to sleep.” 

Penny laughs, then you call for Josie and head out after saying goodbye to Penny.

Dinner consists of Josie’s favourite take-out, you’re too tired to cook anything and you live for the smile on Josie’s face.

“This is my most favourite!” Josie exclaims and throws the rest of her chicken nugget into her mouth.

You chuckle, “I know, honey.”

“We need to go there again when Daddy comes back.” She says it so matter of fact it makes you smile sadly.

“We will.” You pat her hand gently. “I’m sure he’ll love it just as much.” 

“More than me?” She looks at you with wide eyes.

“Now, that’s impossible. He doesn’t love anything more than you.” You run the back of your hand over her cheek and she smiles.

“Not even you?” It makes you stop for a second. You’re pretty certain he was about to tell you he loves you before he left, but maybe he wanted to say something completely unrelated? You’ve been mulling it over for days, and the more time passes the more you doubt that that’s what he wanted to say. But there’s still a small glimmer of hope somewhere inside you.

You don’t exactly know what to say, so you settle on, “Not even me.” 

Once you’ve tucked Josie into bed you change into more comfortable clothes and curl up on the sofa. You don’t think you can pay attention to anything on TV but you turn it on anyway, even if it’s just a background noise to your spinning thoughts.

✩̿✪̿✩̿

It’s after Josie’s bedtime when Jake uses the key you gave him for the first time. He could’ve rung the bell, the lights in the living room are still on, but he wanted to surprise you. 

Muffin greets him at the door, his tags giving a soft jingling sound not unlike Jake’s dog tags. He smiles. 

“Did you look out for our girls? Yeah? Good boy.” He rubs behind Muffin’s ear, then ventures further into the house. He can faintly hear the TV in the living room, so that’s where he goes, the sound of his heavy boots muffled on the carpet.

There you are, curled up on the sofa, asleep. Jake smiles to himself. He missed you so much. He was only gone for a week, possibly the shortest mission he’s ever been on, but he missed you the second he said goodbye.

He doesn’t really want to wake you, if you fell asleep on the couch you probably need the sleep. But he wants to see your eyes, your smile, wants to hear your voice. So he slowly crouches down by your side and gently pushes your hair out of your face before running the back of his hand over your cheek, back and forth until your eyelids start to flutter.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers and then your eyes finally snap open. He watches as they fill with tears and then you throw your arms around his neck and pull him close. It only takes him a millisecond to reciprocate the hug. Holding you tight, he leaves kisses on your temple. 

After a while you lean back to look at him and seeing the tears streaming down your face breaks his heart. “What are you crying for?” 

“Happy tears,” you assure. “I’m just happy to see your stupid face again.”

He chuckles, “You don’t think my face is stupid.”

You shake your head. “No, I really don’t.” 

This makes Jake laugh out loud. He squeezes you a little tighter. “I missed you, too.” 

And then you stand there just looking at each other.

*

He’s home. You still think you’re dreaming as you stare at him standing right in front of you. His green eyes are sparkling in the low light of the living room and you’re filled with such a warmth you can’t put it into words. Or maybe you can. Because it’s love. You love him. You’re about to open your mouth and just blurt the words but Jake is quicker.

“There’s something I promised to tell you when I get back.” He whispers, running his thumb over your cheek.

You nod, “And what’s that?” You don’t dare speak louder than a whisper, afraid to burst the bubble you’re in.

Jake’s eyes roam over your face before they lock on yours again. “I love you.” He says and then new tears are in your eyes.

“I love you, too.” 

Jake seems just a little bit surprised at your words, “Yeah?” he sounds hopeful.

“Yeah,” you nod, “so much.” 

“C’mere.” And then he finally pulls you into a kiss. You bury your hands in his short hair and pull him as close as you possibly can.

Never before has a kiss made you feel this much. Kissing Jake has always been special, you used to think it was just because of the sexual tension between you two, but it’s more than that. You don’t ever want to kiss someone else ever again.  

Somehow you end up straddling him on the sofa, his hands on your hips. You feel him growing hard beneath you and it doesn’t help with curbing your own arousal. As you start grinding your hips against his, Jake moans into your mouth.

“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” you say, after pulling away just enough to talk. The tip of your nose is still brushing against his.

“You sure? We don’t have to.” Jake leans back just a little bit more so he can look at you. His thumbs have slipped under the fabric of your t-shirt, rubbing gentle circles on your skin.

“I’m sure,” you nod. “I wanna feel you.” You feel Jake’s hands tighten around your hips before he lets out a breath.

“Okay,” he gives you one more deep kiss before he lifts you up and makes his way over to your bedroom. He gently lays you down on your bed, his hands roaming over your body and you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anybody so bad.

You tried dating a few times since Josie was born, but nothing ever came of it. Did you need someone to scratch that certain itch every once in a while? Yes. And you got that. But it never became more than that.

But this? This didn’t feel like you needed to scratch an itch, to just get it over with and then you can go on with your life. Nothing has even really happened yet and you already know you won’t be able to get enough of him. 

Slowly, so slowly, you undress each other. Both of you cherishing every inch of skin exposed. Until you’re bare in front of him, your knees either side of his head while he trails kisses over your inner thighs.

“So pretty,” he murmurs against your skin. “I missed your pretty pussy so much.” He gently runs his thumb over your clit and it sends a jolt of electricity up your spine. “Missed your taste.” And then he leaves a kiss on your clit before licking a stripe up your middle. “So sweet,” he hums before doing it again. All you can do is bury your hands in his hair, arch your back and pull him closer. 

It’s like devouring you is Jake’s favourite pastime, he’s got his eyes closed, one of his hands gripping your thigh, the other on your belly to keep your hips steady. And every time you’re about to come, he moves away and peppers kisses on your inner thighs again.

“Jake, please.” You finally whine, tugging on his hair. 

“Please, what?” You can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Need you inside me.” You give his hair another tug, and he finally crawls over you, so his head is hovering over yours. You can smell yourself on his lips and it makes even more warmth pool between your thighs.

You can’t really read the expression on his face until he says, “I didn’t bring any protection.” He gently moves your hair out of your face.

“I don’t have anything here either,” you realise. You weren’t expecting to have sex anytime soon. Were you thinking about doing it with Jake? Absolutely. But you didn’t allow yourself to actually consider it until he was home safe. You sigh. “And I’m not on birth control, either,” you admit. “It should be a safe time though …” you trail off. Is it reckless to have unprotected sex when you’ve already had an unplanned pregnancy? Yes, absolutely. Is the thought as scary as it should be? No.

“You mean …?” Jake tilts his head.

“I’m healthy. And if you’re planning on sticking around …” 

Jake places a soft kiss on your lips. “I’m sticking around. I’m not gonna leave again, unless you want me to. I might not always be around, but I’ll always come home to you. Always.” The honesty in his voice makes you tear up again. You wind your legs around his hips and feel him heavy against your thigh.

“If you’re okay with it … I’m willing to risk it.” You haven’t even fully uttered the sentence before his lips are on yours again.

“I’m willing to risk it with you any time, sweetheart.”

“I love you,” you say and pull him into another kiss. 

“And I love you. So much.” 

And then he positions himself at your entrance and slowly pushes in. You throw your head back because it just feels that good. When his hips are flush against yours he pauses for a second, both of you enjoying the feeling of finally being together. 

Jake starts moving in and out of you slowly, filling you with leisurely thrusts. And it feels so good. Until you need more.

“More,” you moan.

“Sweetheart, I’m not gonna last.”

“That’s okay.” 

“I want you to come first.”

“I’ll come with you.” You move your hands between your bodies and start rubbing your clit. It doesn’t take long for Jake to pick up his thrusts, the tip of his cock rubbing against your g-spot every time.

“Fuck,” he grunts, his movements becoming erratic.

“Come for me Jake,” you whine. “Come inside me, please.”

You feel him starting to twitch inside you. “Oh fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.” And then he’s kissing you again, swallowing your moans while bucking his hips into you, his release painting your walls and you’re right there with him. Goosebumps are covering your body and all you can feel is him.

You stay like that for a while, both of you catching your breath, his heavy weight on top of you, but you’re enjoying it. You feel safe, you feel loved.

When Jake pulls out his eyes are fixated on the way your combined come drips out of you.

“So fucking beautiful,” he runs his fingers through your folds, spreading your juices, and starts playing with your clit. A moan bursts out of you.

“You got one more in you”?

“I don’t know, Jake.”

“C’mon, baby. One more.” The nickname is new, but you don’t mind it. It makes your insides flutter.

“Kiss me.” He obliges, his thumb on your clit as he enters you with two of his fingers while kissing you senseless. When he moves his kisses down your neck you can’t contain your moans.

“You gotta be quiet, baby. As much as I’d love to hear you scream for me. Can you do that for me?” You nod and bite your lips together. “Good girl.”

It doesn’t take long until you’re on the edge again and with one more flick of your clit you’re coming again.

“That’s it. That’s it, baby. Just like that. Look at you. So gorgeous.” Jake’s words and his gentle caresses carry you through your orgasm until you’re completely spend and you’re too sensitive. When he notices, he moves his hand away and gives you another kiss. “My sweet girl. So good for me.” 

“I love you.” It seems you can’t stop telling him.

His eyes crinkle as he smiles. “I love you.”

 ✩̿✪̿✩̿

You’re woken up by a trail of kisses being left on your shoulder. You’re still tired but at the same time you feel like you’re filled to the brim with energy. You and Jake didn’t get much sleep last night. Turns out when he said ‘one more’ he was lying. Because there were two more in the shower after that.

You slowly turn around so you can look at him. His hair is messy and the warm sunshine falling through the window makes him look like an angel.

“Hi.” You can’t contain your smile and Jake mirrors your expression.

“Hi,” with the arm he’s got wrapped around you he pulls you closer to him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

You didn’t think it was possible but your smile becomes even bigger. “Good morning.” 

“You look happy.” 

“I am.” You admit. “Could get used to waking up like this.” You wind your leg around his hip, and you can feel him against your core even through multiple layers of clothing, it’s enough to make your heart start racing. The look in Jake’s eyes becomes heated.

“Yeah?” His hand moves to your ass and gives it a squeeze. It makes you giggle.

“Mhm.” You nod, shuffling just a little closer to him.

“Well, funny you mention that, actually.” Jake’s hand is running over your back and it takes a moment for his words to register.

“Huh? What do you mean?” You sit up a little, shifting so now Jake’s on his back while you’re partially hovering above him.

“I’ve got this new position that requires me to stay in San Diego long term. And I kind of need a place to stay.” You can only look at him with wide eyes. What? “I don’t have to … I can just … If you don’t want me to, I can look for a place of my own. I didn’t mean to just … invite myself, I guess. I just thought—“

You interrupt him with a kiss. “You’re staying here?” 

“Yeah,” he nods and smiles a little sheepishly. “I got a position at Top Gun. Nothing special but with the possibly of becoming an instructor one day.” He shrugs. “I’ll be right here for the foreseeable future. I wanna be close to you and Josie. Even if you don’t want me moving in, which I understand—“

“You want to move in?”

“Of course I do. We’ve already lost so much time, I’ve lost so much time with Josie … I don’t want to lose any more. You’re it for me sweetheart. I’m gonna marry you one day.”

Your mouth drops open at that.

“If you want to.” He smiles. “I want to give you your dream life, with the husband and the white picket fence … two point five kids.“ 

You pinch him playfully, but then lean in to give him another kiss.

“Sounds like a plan,” you murmur, before kissing him again. Jake pulls you closer and you can feel the smile on his lips. He breaks the kiss and you can tell he’s about to say something when you hear the door being opened slowly.

It’s Saturday morning, and that usually means Josie will come over for some cuddles before breakfast. You turn to the door with a smile.

Josie pokes her head in, her hair messy from sleep and here eyes still halfway closed. That changes when she notices you’re not alone.

“Daddy?”

“Hey, Peanut.” That’s all it takes for Josie to come running towards the bed, climbing on it and tackling Jake in a hug.

“I missed you soooooooo much,” Josie shouts, and Jake laughs.

“I missed you, too. Every second of every day,” he smiles. 

 ✩̿✪̿✩̿

Just like you promised yourself you would, you spent the following week doing nothing except spend time with Josie. Except, you’re not doing it alone but with Jake. He’s got a bit of free time before starting his new position and while he needs to move his stuff down from Lemoore, he claims he doesn’t have much to move, one trip would suffice. 

Together, the two of you decided to just take the plunge and have him move in. Why waste any more time? Josie was quite possibly the biggest fan of that idea. Jake will have a shadow 24/7 if she has her way, but you don’t think Jake would have a problem with that.

“You ready?” Jake pokes his head into the bathroom, where you’re finishing your make-up. 

“Almost.”

“I love you.” 

You turn to Jake with a smile. He’s been saying it every chance he gets, says he needs to make up for the last six years. 

“I love you, too, you big goof.” 

“Hey!” He playfully pouts, “don’t let the others hear you call me that. I have a reputation to uphold.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “And what would you like me to call you instead?”

Jake stalks into the bathroom, pretending to think. He wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “How about Daddy?” He whispers and you can’t stop the goosebumps from appearing on your arms.

“Why am I not surprised?” You laugh. “Should’ve known you’re into that.” 

Jake hums, then says, “Only because you made me one.”

*

The Hard Deck is not super busy this evening, it’s still early and the middle of the week but Jake wanted to introduce you to the people who made sure he got home safe. Even though he was the one who saved Maverick and Rooster, but Jake won’t be petty. Maybe. 

Jake’s almost bursting with excitement as he pulls you by the hand, Josie on his hip. The group’s chatting in the back of the bar but as soon as they spot Jake all conversation stops.

“Is that Bagman or am I hallucinating?” Phoenix stage whispers. 

Coyote nods, “I think it’s real.” 

Jake rolls his eyes before pulling you into his side. “I wanted you guys to meet my family.” He introduces you, then looks at Josie. “And this is my daughter Josie.” 

Josie blushes, then rests her head on his shoulder and waves. 

For a moment the rest of the squad just stare. Then Phoenix is the first to speak up again, “Hi, Josie. It’s so nice to meet you.” She gives Jake a look as if she’s never seen him before. 

“I guess that explains where you’ve been half the time.” Coyote muses. 

“I had some groveling to do,” Jake nods. “And they’re much better company than you guys.” 

The whole group breaks out into protest but Jake just shrugs his shoulders. 

He turns to you, “You good on your own for a moment? I’ll go get us something to drink.” 

“Of course, go ahead.” You smile and for a second Jake just takes you in, then he sets Josie down beside you and gives you a kiss. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

At the bar, Jake leans against the bar top and watches as you talk to the squad. He didn’t realise it, but while he was starting to rebuild his relationship with you and getting to know Josie, the three of you slowly becoming a family, he also gained another family. He knows he was an asshole when they were first put together as a team, but ultimately, he grew to love these people. Even Rooster.

As if he had conjured him, Rooster shows up next to him. A certain understanding pass between the two men, then Rooster says, “You look good, Hangman.” 

Jake huffs a laugh and smiles, “I am good, Rooster. I’m very good. I’m happy.”

~~~

A/N: This is it... the end. For now at least. I wanna write an epilogue so that will be coming but then it's time to say goodbye to these :(( who else is sad about that?

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