#penelope garcia headcanons

[lilveeblog]

sisters to the rescue

the group get a surprise visit from jj’s mum and it sends the poor girl into a crazy, scared headspace

but penelope can’t have that! read as she looks after her big sister in the best way.

it had been a rough day. both girls started off quite small, jj smaller than penelope with her cute pull up on and nightshirt waddled into emily’s room this morning for nursing and cuddles and penelope trudged in with as many teddies as she could carry not long after. it was a slow morning for the girls, a nice one. they made pancakes, with their matching aprons from uncle rossi tied around their waists. then they went for a walk around the nearby lake which was needed to get their energy out and then it was nap time but they were all awoken by a rude intruder. jj’s mum.

the knock on the door was hard and sudden and woke up jj instantly. penelope stayed asleep. jj sat up and rubbed her eyes, she’d fallen asleep in emily’s bed but there was no emily, only her little sister and all her stuffies. she felt herself older but not by much. she stretched and slid out from under the covers before heading to the stairs to try get a sneak peak at who had knocked. she could hear her mama talking.

“you can’t be here right now,” emily said to the stranger at the door.

“she’s my daughter, i can’t pay her a visit?”

“not without permission. you know this sandy-“

sandy? it was jj’s mum. her throat went tight and she felt herself instantly going to that headspace she hated. she wanted to be sick. she needed to be sick. she hadn’t seen her mom in 3 years, ever since the restraining order had been put into place.

“sandy i can call the police.”

“oh please, just let me see my daughter.”

“no can do.”

“emily.”

“sandy.”

“fine. i’ll go but i’ll be back.”

and that’s what terrified jj. is her mother knew their new address, her mother very much could come back at any point.

“jj, is that you?” emily asked when she made sure sandy had left the premises. she turned to the girl curled up at the top of the stairs, sobbing into her knees.

“she found me,” she cried out. penelope then came out of the bedroom, smaller than before. she was confused why her sister was crying, who had found her?

“jj she won’t come back. i’m going to call the police and get this figured out.”

“no she will come back. she’s going to come get me, take me away!” jj sobbed.

“no jay, that won’t happen.”

“emily it will!” jj cried out! she got up from the stairs and charged to her bedroom .

“jay,” emily called out, heading after as quick as she could but was met with a door slamming in her face.

“jj otay?” penelope asked sadly, pulling at her caregivers shirt.

“oh pen,” emily sighed and turned around. she took the girl into her arms and held her tight and penelope hid her head in her neck. she hated seeing her sister hurt. so hurt.

that was hours ago and jj hadn’t left her room since and it worried emily. she was notorious for a lot of bad things when in this headspace and although her room had been checked for drugs and alcohol they hadn’t done a sharp objects sweep in a while and emily couldnt get it out of her head. derek was on his way over to look after penelope but pen wouldn’t leave the house without knowing her sister was okay.

emily had made penelope a snack to keep her occupied and decided to bed upstairs.

that was how we got to the current predicament. emily knocked softly and opened the door. jj was lying on the bed with her headphones on, curled up against the wall, in her safest place. having a bed in the corner made everything safer.

“how you feeling kiddo?” emily asked and jj glared at her; she hated nicknames.

“jay,” emily sighed and jutted out her hip.

“don’t want to talk. leave me alone.”

“jj, i have to make sure you’re safe can you at least come downstairs?”

“no.”

“jj, i can’t keep an eye on you up here.”

“you don’t need to, fuck off.”

at that, penelope appeared behind her caregiver and jj let out a mighty groan. penny whimpered and emily reached out to hold the younger girls hand.

“emily, just get out!! both of you! out!” jj screamed and threw the pillow at the door where her two bestest friends stood.

“jj, i know you’re upset but-“

“are your deaf? fuck off emily!” another pillow was thrown in emily’s direction. penelope whimpered from behind her caregiver.

“both of you,” jj added, more quieter and emily sighed. she turned around and put a hand on penelope’s shoulder.

“come on love, let’s give jj her space,” she said. penelope looked at emily, pleading her to stay and help her big sister who was so clearly in a lot of emotional pain but emily shook her head. jj was in no way able to communicate right now, not effectively at least. they had to give her space.

not an hour later, derek arrived but even two caregivers weren’t enough to keep an eye on the sneaky penelope. while derek went to the toilet and emily prepared dinner, pen gathered up as many stuffies as she could, two colouring books and her pencil case before scurrying up the stairs to her sisters room. she didn’t both knocking.

jj sat there with a scowl on her face as she took in the sight of penelope. pen shut the door with her foot and came further into the room. she dropped the things at the foot of the bed and jj moved her knees closer to her chest. she didn’t want to colour but she couldn’t turn down penelope.

“i came with some things to make you feel better,” penelope said in her sweet little voice.

“don’t want it,” jj grumbled and turned away.

“jj, no be grumpy,” penelope said and climbed onto the bed, she crawled beside her sister.

“leave me lone,” jj whispered and turned more toward the wall.

“no.” penelope said stubbornly. she crossed her arms and legs and faced jj. jj whimpered. “i not leaving.”

“why? i’m no good anyway.” jj sighed.

“cus you need a friend an i your best one,” penelope said. she reached over and grabbed jj’s favourite stuffie her teddy bear which looked just like your traditional teddy bear. it was jj’s favourite toy of all time.

“this you next best one,” penelope said and handed it over. jj whimpered.

“don’t want that pen.”

“take it, for cuddles.”

“don’t want to,” jj whimpered louder.

“it make you feel good.”

“no!” jj shouted suddenly. she desperately wanted to cuddle it but she felt so embarrassed in this headspace. she wanted to colour but she couldn’t. she wanted to cuddle with pen but couldn’t. she wanted to do it all and be nice to her little sister who was only trying to help but couldn’t. she felt useless and stupid. penelope sighed and crossed her arms on a huff and the door opened again. it was emily and derek.

“what’s going on here?” emily asked in her strong voice.

“nothing,” penelope said, glaring at jj.

“penelope, jj?” derek asked, looking between them.

“nothing, she said,” jj sassed. she climbed off the bed in a huff, knocking the colouring books and most of the stuffies off the bed in the process. she stormed to the bathroom but emily grabbed her wrist before she could.

“let go; need a wee.” jj whimpered and pulled at her arm.

“jj,” emily warned.

“just a wee for gods sake!” jj screamed and ripped her hand away, she went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. emily sighed and turned to penelope.

“what did i tell you about giving her space young lady?”

“mama i jus wanted to see her. be there for her!” penelope replied.

“but i gave you specific instructions to leave her alone.”

“she need friends.”

“she needs alone time.”

“i don’t always need to be alone,” jj said from the bathroom door. she shook her hands dry and walked through the room.

“jj you told me to fuck off.”

“that was earlier. pen can stay. you and derek can leave,” jj explained. she got herself comfy on the bed again, hiding in the corner and emily looked at her sadly but didn’t argue.

“dinner will be ready in 20.”

the caregivers left and jj sighed. she watched as penelope piled her teddies back onto the bed.

“sorry,” jj muttered.

“no need be. they all fall all the time, they clumsy.”

jj couldn’t help but let out a crack of a smile.

“clumsy huh?”

“yeah they always fall off my bed too,” penelope explained. “it’s just cus they’re stuffed.”

“oh yeah; stuffing does that,” jj teased. penelope nodded and smiled and sat back in her spot.

“you wan cuddle?” penelope asked and opened her arms. she tapped her lap and jj sighed. she did want a cuddle, not a proper one though- that was embarrassing. instead, she laid her head down on penelope’s lap and let the younger girl run her fingers through her hair.

“i know your mum is scary,” penelope said, almost coming out of her headspace now.

“pen you- you don’t have to,” jj said, going to sit up but penelope held her down.

“i’m here for you.”

“you can do both.”

“i know and i am. i know your mum is scary but you don’t need to act so hostile towards us all okay?”

jj sighed, she hated how she treated everyone. “i know i just get so angry.”

“i know but mama always says to take deep breaths when we’re angry.”

jj whimpered. penelope was right. “i’m sorry i got so angry at you penny, you don’t deserve that.”

“it okay sis. i understand,” she whispered, slipping again now.

“i love you penny,” jj sighed. she never said things like that in her headspace and penelope knew that. she smiled wide.

“i love you.”

not long after, emily entered again.

“dinners ready downstairs, come on you two,” she said, smiling softly at the cuddles they were having, jj was half asleep on penelope’s knee. penelope slid out from under jj and headed off downstairs and emily waited patiently for jj to move. she did so, slowly. she rubbed her eyes and whimpered, looking up at her caregiver sadly.

“you okay?” emily asked, knowing her girl was in fact not okay. and at the question, a flood of tears came. emily sighed sadly and walked over to her little one and sat beside her, jj curled herself up and emily pulled her into her side. jj tried to fight but emily was having none of it, she held her little one with a closeness of love and promise.

“mama’s here,” emily whispered and pulled jj’s cross her lap. jj clung to her caregiver.

“mama’s right here, you’re so so safe.”

“jj bad.”

“jj isn’t bad baby,” emily sighed and rubbed her girls back. “she’s so good but just hurting and that’s okay. it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to have big feelings.”

“was mean.”

“you was mean but i know you feel bad about it and i know you want to say sorry and i also know you’ve already said sorry to penelope. everything is going to be okay.”

“jj scared.”

“oh baby you don’t need to be scared. mama is going to keep you so so safe.”

“even from mum?”

“especially from her my little love. you’re safe with mama, okay?”

“otay,” jj whispered and cuddled into her caregivers neck, feeling smaller than she has all day.

“mamas got you,” emily whispered and held her girl tighter. “i’m right here.”

for the rest of the night, jj didn’t let go of her mama. wether it was holding her hand, being in her arms, sitting on her lap, it was all about being close to her mama. penelope was just the same. emily didn’t mind having two girls stuck to her hips, it just meant extra cuddles in bed that night. and that’s how they slept, all three of them cuddled under the millions of jj’s comfort blankets and hundreds of penelope’s teddy bears.

[jester-jpeg]

Maybe Penelope garcia Cg! Mood board? I never see one 😟

˗ˏˋ penelope garcia !cg board ꕤ*.ﾟ♡

✧──── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ────✧

she would be such a playful and awesome caregiver, totally perfect for keeping you entertained and happy <33

hcs under cut REQUESTS OPEN

(my eyes kinda hurt so requests are still open, but i won’t get to them until tomorrow aka nov. 29th)

✧──── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ────✧

penelope garcia caregiver headcanons:

≫ she has a n64 (obviously) and buys all sorts of games she thinks you’ll like, but she mostly looks for 2p games so she can play with you

≫ she collects Zelfs for you, the toys on the top right of the board (please look them up, they’re so awesome, i had one when i was younger and they are so garcia vibes)

≫ she 100% jumps on any opportunity to read you dork diaries and diary of a wimpy kid. she likes to read them to you in order and keeps a sparkly bookmark matching the cover in each book. she carries one of each series (each being the book you’re currently reading together) and sometimes you catch her practicing the voices for the characters. she likes to do the voices becuz it makes you smile and she loves that

≫ she has a whole TON of stuffies for you at her apartment (you two have already discussed which plushies are for you to play with, and which ones are hers that aren’t for playing)

≫ she’s very sweet and tender about scolding you, always making sure that you know exactly what the problem was, why it’s a problem in the first place, and how to do better next time.

≫ whenever you get overwhelmed/overstimulated/etc. she’ll say it’s time to take a “breath break” and hold your hands while saying “deep breath in the nose… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, hold… 1, 2, 3, deep breath out the mouth… 1, 2, 3,” she has you both repeat this until either she can tell you’re calm or you tell her you are

≫ tea parties are her specialty, she bought you the cutest little tea set and you two play all sorts of dress up for the tea party. she’ll pretend to be different characters attending the party, like one time she dressed up as the queen of hearts for the tea party and kept saying “off with her head!!” making you laugh and smile

≫ when you’re sleepy or just in the mood to relax, she’ll snuggle you into a blanket burrito and pull you into her lap while you two watch your favorite shows. occasionally she’ll kiss the top of your head and will check in on you to see if you’re uncomfortable or bored

thank you so much to everyone who read this, i love you all so much, and i hope you have a fantastic day. never dread a day that hasn’t started yet, prepare for bad things, don’t expect them. good things are attracted to energy, don’t scare it away by accident. you’ve all got this <33333

[spritehouse]

THE BAU AT GYM LEADERS because i can't pick just one pokemon for them

here are my thoughts:

spencer as a psychic type

team: espeon, hatterene, reuniclus, munna, & 2 meowstic (leaders)

- he also has an espurr, but it doesn't like to battle so it just hangs out

- double battles because he appreciates/enjoys the strategy involved

- absolutely spoils his pokemon but also trains very hard (while making sure it's enjoyable)

emily as a dark type

team: houndoom, mightyena, umbreon, absol, zoroark, liepard (leader)

- despite having a mostly canine team, she's still a huge cat person

- new trainers are absolutely terrified of her. she has a reputation of being unforgiving in battles

- actually a huge softie around her pokemon and the other gym leaders

jj as a water type

team: lapras, mantine, floatzel, gastrodon, kingra, milotic (leader)

- has the reputation as the nices/least intimidating gym leader, but still a fierce battler

- she has. so many pokemon. a lot of which aren't even water types, she just loves them all.

- also has a vaporeon who a lot of people see as her "partner" because she's usually seen walking around with it

derek as a steel type

team: copperajah, metagross, aegislash, mawile, steelix, aggron (leader)

- tries so hard to be intimidating. fails because he won't stop making jokes during battles and is constantly seen hanging out with penelope and spencer

- surprises trainers who underestimate him with great strategy. many new trainers think he'll be focused on attack and easy to beat. they learn they're wrong the hard way.

- losing a constant prank war to spencer because his team is so much bigger that it's hard to be sneaky

hotch as a dragon type

team: garchomp, dragapult, alteria, kommo-o, salamance, haxorus (leader)

- fucking terrifies every trainer. he wears a suit to literally every battle??

- no one sees altaria coming. it's arguably one of the strongest members of his team.

- has baby/unevolved forms of his whole team (gible, dreepy, swabalu, jangmo-o, bagon, & axew) and loves them so much

penelope as a fairy type

team: clefairy, togepi, tinkaton, comfey, floette, alcreme ("leader")

- not actually a gym leader. she runs a bakery/pokemon supply shop for trainers and pokemon to hang out, relax, and have friendly battles. a lot of newer trainers come here to see her friends, the gym leaders train

- also has so many pokemon. it's all hands on deck running the bakery, so she doesn't have a fully defined "team" but these are the 6 she brings with her while traveling

- fiercely protective of her friends and pokemon. she isn't a big battler, but she can hold her own if it means protecting someone, even if it's just until backup arrives.

this was the Dream Team™️ i'll probably do more in the future because i love making these

[chin-chilla-7]

Gender and Sexuality Headcanons - Criminal Minds Characters

These are my sexuality and gender headcanons for the main BAU team from Criminal Minds. My sources are me: a queer and trans person. All right, let’s get into it.

Aaron Hotchner

I see him as bi, but it’s not something he really thought about until after the divorce.

He and Hayley were highschool sweethearts, he really didn’t need to think much about his sexuality.

And he thought it was normal to think guys looked good. He can tell when someone’s attractive, doesn’t mean he’s attracted to them.

Even though in this case, he was.

For gender, I guess cis? If you ask him, that’s what he’d tell you. He uses he/him pronouns. He’s very confident in his masculinity and he likes it.

But it’s also not something that really matters to him and who he is, ya feel?

Spencer Reid

He’s trans and bi.

Basically had to raise himself to begin with, and learn how to care for his mother while raising himself that adding trans care to the mix was something he had to put off until he was eighteen.

Though, this does mean that he’s read a lot of trans-care articles in the time he couldn’t put his research into action.

Because he’s felt like a boy since elementary school. It’s just something that made sense to him so he went with it.

Derek Morgan

He has the potential vibes to be trans, you know what I mean? I personally like both sides of this for him, so I’m not hard stuck one way or the other.

I do see him as presenting straight, preferring to appear straight even though I think he’s also probably bi.

Despite being bi, he most likely leans towards women more often than not. This is both due to preference and a little bit out of fear of being with a man.

I think he’d have to really trust the man if he followed through with those feelings. 

Emily Prentiss

She is a lesbian.

Men do not interest her. She does not care about men. She does not care to date men.

She’s pretty open about it when you ask, but it’s not something you’d probably suspect from her (but also she had that goth phase in high school-)

Gender-wise, I’m open to the headcanon of her being a trans-woman! Honestly I think that’s iconic. But, like Morgan, I’m not really hard stuck one way or the other.

J.J.

Bi. She’s dated a few women in her past.

She does, though, really only give me cis-women vibes.

Anyway, it’s not something she really talks about cause it’s not really a ‘thing’ for her.

She dates who she dates, and it she doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

David Rossi

Okay David. He’s like - he’s never been intimate with a man, but there’s a certain emotional intimacy that he shares with some guys that give fruity vibes, you know what I mean?

So technically, he’s straight because he’s never slept with a man, but there’s vibes there is all I’m saying.

Also a cis-man. He’s too old nowadays to care about that.

Penelope Garcia

Okay queen. I think she’s pan. She loves and she loves and it doesn’t matter who you are (unless you’re mean and nasty and hate kitties) she has a lot of love to give.

And she gives she/they energy, you know what I mean? They like being girly, but it’s in a fun, androgynous way.

The most fluid with their gender out of the group. Again, a queen.

[apocalypse-shuffle]

THE BEHAVIORAL ANALYSIS UNIT (criminal minds)

—

What some of The BAU Members Would Smell Like

scent Headcanons

CHARACTERS: DEREK, PENELOPE, JORDAN, TARA, MATT, REID

SFW, canon typical content — no reader-insert

Pic Sources: criminal minds

• These headcanons are for when they aren’t in the field because being identifiable by scent when you’re trying to sneak up on an unsub is a bad thing and none of these guys (except for maybe JJ and Jordan when they first transition from liaison to field agent) would sabotage themselves like that.

—

DEREK MORGAN

Smells like expensive ass cologne, okay? He invested in smelling right, partly because of his father impressing upon him the importance of smelling “respectable” and nice and partly because he wanted to feel himself and attract more women.

The cologne isn’t too strong (won’t burn anyone’s noses or anything because it’s not basically just scented alcohol) but it is aromatic and it does linger whenever he leaves a room.

Everybody always finds themselves subconsciously breathing it in a little extra when he’s around, and Penelope comments on his “good smelling cologne” every time she smells him wearing it and will just straight up smell him while Derek laughs and plays along by opening himself up to be smelled; Emily also definitely teases him about her having been able to smell him coming before Penelope cuts in like: “and every second was glorious.”

I think his scent should have some sweetness to it, like it’s masculine or whatever but it also cuts his edge which is part of the reason he likes it so much. Like sweet almond or something, idk.

Derek’s natural scent is also grand and Savannah is in love with it about as much as she is with him in general. When he was in the hospital she would press kisses to his forehead or hairline and then just take a moment to breathe him in.

Fran used to cry from how much his and his sisters’ naturally smelled like their father.

I think it’s be cute, too, if the cologne he uses as an adult is as similar a scent as he can find to the cologne his father would wear. Like, Derek latched onto the scent of his father after his death because he missed him so much and eventually asked his mother if he could wear his father’s cologne and Fran fully let him after saving some of it for herself. The cologne won’t last forever but for the immediate future they could both at least keep him close like that.

Some of the most unprompted hugs he’d get from his sisters would be when he was wearing their father’s cologne. Desiree would tease him about thinking he was big and bad with Pop’s cologne on right after the hug, and shove at him some before they’d devolve into a match. The first time she smelled her father’s cologne on him she got so mad he had the audacity that the two fought though, only reconciling after Fran put them on “house arrest” and forced them to talk it out.

Sarah would just smile at him and remind him not to let his head get too big while he was out running the streets but (even if the first couple of times she caught scent of him she cried) she starts appreciating the association with Hank’s usual scent with her little brother even when he was pissing her off.

PENELOPE GARCIA

Smells sweet but what kind of sweet depends on her exact mood and/or the color of her outfit.

During her angsty teen/Black Queen days she smelt more like rose incense that gave her a smokey, muskier and feminine smell.

It takes her a while after she’s caught by the FBI and after her breakup with Shane for Penelope to be okay with wearing scents with rose in them at all because of the lingering negativity from her relationship and her depression at the time that she associated with the flower (and the occasional scent of black cherry too).

Even after joining the BAU she still occasionally smells like sage after particularly gory or sadistic cases that make her feel icky because she cleanses her space.

Reid figures out that’s why on his own eventually, Penelope tells JJ about it while working on a case by mentioning that she’s basically gonna have to fumigate her office after watching the videos she’d uncovered, and when she first joined the team Emily had tentatively placed an small ornate pot of culinary sage in front of Penelope as a bit of a peace offering after so frequently smelling it on her. She hadn’t realized exactly why the analyst used sage but Penelope couldn’t find it in herself to correct her and she used that sage in her teas for months afterwards.

The first time she ever burned sage after her worst case with the team at the time Derek had walked into her “bat-cave” to tell her goodbye, cracked a joke about her burning down the place before she explained her reasoning to him, and then he’d just stayed back to keep her company and walked her to her car when she was finished and packed up. From then on any time he smells sage on her or lingering in her space he makes sure to check up on her extra vigorously and softly urge her into venting and letting go before she combusts. He doesn’t always say the best thing but she appreciates him seeking her out anyway.

Penelope (similar to her glasses) doesn’t just have one singular scent. She has a good couple of perfumes that she rotates around and bases whether she’ll wear one based on the color of her outfit that she’s wearing or based on what type of vibe she’s going for with an outfit. Usually floral, bakery, fruity (especially raspberry) type scents that compliment her brightness without being too overwhelming.

Derek teases her about it once she tells him how she picks out her scents. He makes some crack about missing the scent she wore the day before and she’s like “too bad” then explains her process to him.

Luke probably picks up on how she chooses scents and pats himself heavy on the back when she reluctantly confirms his suspicions.

If Penelope wakes up late and has to rush into work, forgetting her perfume, she usually goes to Tara for some because everyone knows how potent but neutral her scent is and Penelope needs something that can go with any outfit or vibe she’s going for.

Her scent picking process is determined by stuff like: summer, winter, spring, or fall scent notes; what color is she wearing; dress or skirt? Shit like that. She’s of a particular type, yk?

She is a creature of habit when it comes to her scent routine but loves it when her romantic partners or friends ask her whether it’s a pink day or a blue day (for example) and then go pick out the corresponding perfumes for her by color.

Penelope also loves it whenever her partner smells like her. She was not expecting to get as giddy as she did when she’d catch a whiff of her perfume on someone else because it showed that they really did hang out with her often.

JORDAN TODD

*will forever stay salty about the fact that Jordan never got a shot in the title sequence even if I know why, but anyway*

She has a very mild but spicy scent. It’s like ginger and you get a waft of it every time she brushes her hair over her shoulder even though you likely hadn’t noticed the scent before then.

It’s understated because she sprayed it for herself mostly, but once other people smell it it’s definitely a scent that they start searching out even though they’re probably unaware of the origin and frustratingly can’t seem to catch a whiff of it again.

I’d imagine that people could smell the warmth and subtle product from her heat protection spray in Jordan’s hair from her blowing out her natural hair if they were close enough to her.

I think otherwise she’d use largelly scentless lotion, creams, soaps and gels just because it’s more convenient for her.

I like the scent of ginger for her because it’s sharp and peppery but also a very warm and sweet scent as well. I think that fits because of how hard it is for her to get comfortable with the team, how she rankles against feeling incompetent, but how ultimately it’s her caring so much that causes her to but heads and why she left the BAU because she couldn’t take all the constant negativity and stress.

TARA LEWIS

Doesn’t spray on perfume; absolutely uses perfume oil.

She would’ve picked up on using oils when she was a teen while moving countries and going from base to base after being stationed in a middle eastern country.

Typically smells like vanilla; not overly sweet but still notable if someone is close to her, and shea butter.

Whenever she moves her arms, brushes past someone, or stands up, her scent reignites(?) and you’re reminded of just how nice she smells.

Can usually smell the oils she uses to moisturize her natural hair, add shine to her wigs or sew-ins, and keep her scalp healthy when she has in braids as well. Coconut or argan oils most often.

Emily and Rossi probably notice when she’s wearing a scent the most; Dave commenting on the subtle scent of vanilla indicating that Tara beat him to work, and Emily would tease her about how she must’ve been feeling extra good that day.

When they were split up Rebecca would catch the faintest whiff of vanilla and brace herself, whether she’d end up running into Tara or not. When they’re good, however, Rebecca has a habit of lifting Tara's wrist up to smell then pressing a kiss just below where the oil was applied before intertwining her fingers with Tara’s. It’s a quick gesture but it makes Rebecca feel horribly giddy and Tara always looks down at her like she brought oxygen to earth so it works out.

MATTHEW “MATT” SIMMONS

Before he met Kristy he wore a stronger cologne, nothing too expensive but certainly masculine. He also saturated himself in it like crazy.

After meeting Kristy he backs off on the over spritzing and switches to a less “harsh” cologne that she thinks suits him best after she takes him out shopping for “his scent”.

She definitely had to pester him and push him towards leaving that comfort zone for a good bit before he agreed to take time out to change it.

His cologne has a citrusy undertone (like blood oranges) and then a fresh scent like Aloe Vera that carries the citrus without making the scent overwhelming. It’s light and Simmons actually likes not feeling so heavy when he’s wearing cologne. Plus Kirsty loves it and it’s not too harsh on tiny kid noses so it’s a win win all around.

Quite frankly when he doesn’t smell like oranges at home his kids are very confused.

Luke probably comments distractedly about him smelling a bit like a creamsicle the first time they hang out casually.

SPENCER REID

Smells like paper (typically book paper, but sometimes he also smells just like warm printer paper).

I think he’d wear a scent mostly when he’s either going to see his mother or has been thinking about her because she would’ve impressed upon him the importance of being a nice smelling young man. She’d emphasize lighter, flowery scents for Reid however, not at all caring about setting him up to lean into societal expectations for how men “should” smell. Diana just wanted to teach him how different flowers and their scents would positively impact his impressions on others and help him feel better in scent therapy terms.

Diana would shove sprigs of lavender in his breast pockets in order to help ground and calm him and as an adult Reid would make his own lavender oil to use whenever he felt he needed that grounding or wanted to feel more connected to his mother.

Otherwise (even when going out) he typically won’t wear a scent at all, and he’s fairly impartial towards cologne.

Mostly Reid just smells like the unscented soaps and aftershave and shampoo that he uses. A clinical scent that’s “clean” in a different way to how Jordan or even Tara smells. Sterile even, but incredibly subtle.

I could see him smelling kind of cinnamon-esq too. Warm and a bit spicy just feels right for Spencer. Maybe he’d start leaning towards that scent later on in the show’s seasons.

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! And that none of my headcanons were too out of left field!

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

BAU movie night:

MORGAN: Insists on picking the movie, chooses a cheesy ‘80s action movie, and falls asleep immediately.

PENELOPE: Knows Morgan too well so brought a stack of Disney movies. She is the designated snack dispenser, and has prepared a feast of popcorn, M&Ms, pretzels, and soda. AirPlaying the movie on the big screen from her tablet.

SPENCER: “Did you know that Walt Disney actually pioneered a groundbreaking sound system called Fantasia for the 1940 animated feature ‘Fantasia’? It was a precursor to many modern sound technologies.”

ELLE: Listens intently to Reid’s facts, splitting the blue and the red M&Ms into two piles, the blue for Spencer, the red for her.

EMILY: Annoying everyone because she can’t sit still and keeps spinning in her chair. Puts popcorn up Morgan’s nose as he sleeps and passes a handful of pretzels to JJ every few minutes.

JJ: Goes to the toilet constantly and eats all the pretzels. Keeps checking her phone.

HOTCH: Reading case files in the corner. Also eats all the pretzels.

ROSSI: “What the hell is this movie even about?”

GIDEON: “It’s about the chaotic predilections of man.”

EMILY: “It’s about Mickey Mouse.”

Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios

[criminalmindsfanantic]

JJ and Emily showing off their new name plates after getting married 🥰❤️

[pretty-boy-baby-girl]

Garcia buys her and Reid matching/complimentary outfits. Reid finds it highly amusing.

Every now and then, he and Garcia will coordinate their fits and show up to the office in the same outfit at which point everyone busts up laughing. (Partly because it's always startling to see Reid in anything even half as outlandish as what Garcia usually wears, and partly because of Morgan's reactions every time.)

Garcia does a pretty good job of getting an even number of matching outfits for both her eccentric style and Reid's more neutral one.

And yes, this does mean that Reid sometimes wears dresses, skirts, and high heels.

The first time Garcia and Reid walked into the bullpen wearing matching checkerboard dresses with chess pieces patterned across them (I'm imagining they were custom made and are supposed to reflect a moment in an actual chess match of some sort which Reid was over the moon about bc hes a dork and Garcia knows it) and little black pumps (because Reid wasn't tall enough already) with both of their hair up in half pony tails and matching glasses, Morgan tripped over his own feet and almost ate it right there in the middle of the bullpen because holy shit his Baby Girl and his Pretty Boy are stunning and hold up he needs a minute.

Spencer, walking into the bullpen with Penelope: *info dumping about the chess match modeled on their dresses*

Morgan, getting coffee across the room: *chokes on his own spit and almost drops his mug because he's busy staring at Spence and Penny*

Prentiss, walking up beside him and slapping him on the back as he coughs: lmao real smooth, Derek. *sips at her own coffee*

JJ: *enters the bullpen in a pencil skirt and an off the shoulder blouse, her hair put up in a bun*

Prentiss: *chokes on her coffee, unable to tear her eyes away from JJ*

Derek: lmao real smooth, Emily. *walks away laughing*

[blueeyedgirll]

my very accurate guide to what bath and body works scent criminal minds characters would wear + romantic scenarios to how you smell them

(as someone who’s only seen like 5.5 seasons ༄)

contains emily prentiss, penelope garcia, jennifer jareau, aaron hotchner, spencer reid, and derek morgan

(a/n: mostly g/n reader except for jj unless you wear perfume. also i swear some higher power does NOT want me writing this, i've tried three times now and it keeps deleting everything 😭)

emily prentiss - into the night

raspberry noir - amber crystals - creamy patchouli

dancing in the kitchen

your arms are propped on her shoulders, your head on her collarbone

her hands are wrapped around your waist, pulling you as close as possible

she hums along into your ear, leaving soft kisses on the skin next to it

her perfume wafts up from her neck and chest where she had sprayed it hours before

penelope garcia - ghoul friend

dark strawberries - ghostly peony - spine chilling citrus

penelope clinging on to you on a fair ride

the ride whips and flings you through the air, making penelope find stability by wrapping her arms around you and hiding in your shoulder

her fruity perfume clings to her hair and skin, wafting up to you as the ride whips your hair around

you wrap your arms around her, holding on tight like she may actually fly off

jennifer jareau - gingham gorgeous

pink strawberries - peach nectar - peony blooms

letting you borrow her perfume before a date

you happen to forget yours and jj comes to the rescue, letting you use hers

using it causes all of your favorite and sweetest memories with jj to flash into your memory (due to olfactory memory)

you leave the house proud to be wearing your girlfriend's signature scent

aaron hotchner - smoked old fashioned

smoked orange bitters - bourbon vanilla - cedarwood

he lets you wear his jacket in the cold

the chilly air bites at your exposed arms and cheeks, and aaron quickly takes notice

he shrugs off his suit jacket, not allowing you to politely decline before he wraps it around your arms

his cologne-y scent clings to the jacket, and faintly to your skin long after you've taken it off

spencer reid - leather and brandy

warm leather - amber woods - aged brandy (note - it's more of a leather and wood scent, the brandy note isn't very strong)

cuddling up, near skin-to-skin at the movie theatre

you had gone with him to see solaris, the lengthy russian sci-fi movie that spencer was just dying to see

unfortunately you dont speak russian, leading spencer to need to translate

he was so close you could feel his body heat and smell his cologne, a sensation made even better by his low, smooth voice translating every line in your ear

derek morgan - ocean

blue cypress - vetiver - coastal air

derek gave you a late-night ride home

his car smelled of his fresh cologne and minty air freshener

soft conversation kept you occupied, discussing your night and his work

his deep voice made you just a bit on edge (in a good way)

of course, he made sure to text you when you got home to "have a good night, hot stuff ;)"

[allisluv]

Emily prentiss x single mom!reader, Emily introducing her new gf reader and her kid to the team?

meet the family -- e.p

summary: emily introduces you and your daughter, verity, to the team.

pairing: emily prentiss x single mom!reader

word count: 1.1k

content warnings: derek being a lovable menace and interrogating reader but he's just worried for emily! apart from that, i don't think there is anything else but if there is, just lmk! <3

author's note: thinking about turning this into a series so feel free to send in as many scenarios for these two as you'd like! <3

when emily tells you that she wants to introduce you to her friends from work, you're nervous, to say the least. you've heard great things about the bau— not only are they damn good at their job, they also treat each other like family.

you're sure they're lovely people, honest, but part of you wonders just how nice they will be when they find out you have a daughter. you've been going out with emily for the better part of six months, and while she has been nothing but supportive of you being a single mother, that doesn't mean everyone else will be as understanding.

over the last four years, you've faced a lot of backlash about being a single mother. in fact, you had started to give up hope altogether on finding someone new. people do not like to take someone on when they have priorities or "baggage", as one man called it. you were debating taking down your tinder profile when emily messaged you— and boy were you glad she did.

"relax, my love," emily soothes, resting her hand on your thigh as she focuses on the long stretch of road ahead. "it's just dinner. and i promise they don't bite. well, derek might, but he's all talk and i'll kick him in the balls if i have to."

you laugh, wiping your clammy palms down the front of your black blouse. "are you sure i look alright? i feel stupid in this skirt."

before emily can get a word in, verity pipes up from the backseat. "you look pretty, mommy."

you meet her eye in the rear view mirror and smile. her words settle your nerves ever so slightly. "thank you, honey."

"see?" emily quirks a brow. "verity knows her stuff, don't you, v?"

verity is too busy playing with her barbie dolls to give emily a proper answer, but she hums her agreement, which is good enough. emily brings your hand up to her mouth and presses soft kisses to your knuckles, something that she's learnt over the last few months that soothes you.

emily holds your hand, verity holding your other, as you walk into the restaurant. it's buzzing with life, and it's warm, which makes a change to the bitter cold outside.

you hear someone call emily's name, and your heart sinks into a pit in your stomach. as if she can sense your anxiety— and lets be real, she's a profiler, so she more than likely can— she squeezes your hand and leans down to kiss your forehead. "that's jj."

a blonde with bangs pulls emily into a hug as the rest of the team stand to their feet. before you have time to back out of the situation altogether, a woman with orangey-red hair squeals and envelopes you in her arms. "i'm penelope!"

"hi!" you giggle, placing a hand over your chest in an effort to keep your heart from beating so fast. you give her your name and she compliments you on how pretty you are. "thank you," you laugh.

as you go around the table, learning everyone's names-- david and jj and aaron and spencer and the infamous derek-- you feel a tug on your arm. verity's hiding behind your legs and you hoist her onto your hip, not caring who's watching. she winds her chubby arms around your neck, and buries her face into your blouse.

"who've we got here?" spencer smiles, trying to catch verity's eye.

you look to emily for help and she places a reassuring hand on your lower back. "this is my girlfriend, and her daughter, verity."

for a minute no one says anything, and you debate running back out the front door and away from the prying eyes. you swallow the lump in your throat as emily's thumb traces soothing patterns against your lower back.

aaron cracks a tiny smile, something that looks to be a rare occurrence, and puts his hands on his hips. "it's nice to meet you, verity. how old are you?" verity pulls her face away from where it's buried in your blouse for just long enough to hold up four small fingers. "i have a son, jack, who's just a little bit older than you! he's five! maybe next time i could bring him and the two of you could play together? how does that sound?"

verity flails her legs about, a sign that she wants to be let down. you oblige, and she stands by your side, gripping your hand like a vice. "does jack like superheroes?"

aaron grins. "he does indeed."

verity juts her chin out. "then it's a date."

the team erupt into laughter and derek mutters something fondly about how jack will have his work cut out with this one.

emily pulls your chair out and you sit down, offering your girlfriend a smile in return. she sits beside you and verity makes herself comfortable in the chair on your other side. "i couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice, i'm sorry."

spencer dismisses you with a wave of his hand. "don't be. 66% of babysitters are between the ages of 11 to 13 anyway. did you know that?"

you smile. emily had filled you in about spencer’s rambling. while some people found it annoying, you found it endearing. “i didn’t know that."

derek leans across the table, using his elbows to prop himself up. "so..." he says to you. "what are your intentions with emily?" penelope whacks him across the back of the head. "what? it's a simple question!"

your face flushes scarlet. emily takes your hand under the table. "well, my intentions with emily are strictly confidential, if you know what i mean." you bat your lashes and rest your chin in the palm of your hand. you cover verity's ears. "does that answer your question or do you need the nitty gritty details of our sex life, too?"

jj bursts into a fit if giggles, aaron almost chokes on his red wine and derek ducks his head to hide his embarrassed smile.

"she's fiery," david notes. "i can see why you like her, em."

"well, i'm in love with emily," you announce. "and, unfortunately for you guys, i'm in it for the long haul, so you're stuck with me." you catch derek's eye from over the rim of your cocktail glass. "have you got a problem with that?"

derek tongues the inside of his cheek, smiles, and shakes his head. "not at all. i hope you don't mind me being rude, i was just seeing if you could hold your own, that's all. no hard feelings?"

you shake his hand across the table. "no hard feelings."

emily lets go of your hand to fold her arms across her chest. "im glad the air is cleared between the two of you, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, i will castrate you."

"is that a threat?" derek muses.

"no," emily says, slipping her hand into yours. "It's a promise."

[lilveeblog]

potions and fairies and mayhem

little jj and little penelope causing trouble at uncle rossi’s!!

all the cutest elements of my girls put together

1.6k words

tw: slight ed mention (jj)

it was one of the rare weekends where the bau team members were all off work. but of course they were together, all at rossi’s enjoying a weekend just chilling together, loving their family dynamic, as family dynamic which contained two hyper regressed kiddos.

penelope and jj were playing in the garden. they’d roped derek and emily into their games of course. spencer sat on the deck, head in his book, rossi was whisking away in the kitchen and aaron watched on from the deck, making sure everything was in order.

“can we pay duck duck goose now penny?’ jj asked, looking up at her big sister with her puppy eyes.

“no we playin tag,” penelope replied, tagging her little sister. “you’re it.”

“no wan pay tag,” jj huffed suddenly, crossing her arms and stomping her foot.

“girls, why don’t we play a round or two of duck duck goose before it’s dinner time?” derek suggested and put his hands on jj’s shoulders to try and diffuse the situation.

“nooo. no wan play that!” penelope groaned, throwing her head back.

“dinner amici!!” rossi suddenly shouted from the decking. jj suddenly let out a cry, she didn’t want to eat. she wasn’t ready to eat, not mentally. why did no one warn her?

“dinner!!” penelope shouted, running into the house, derek followed and emily grabbed her girl.

“it’s okay, you’re okay.”

“no wan to.”

“i know sweetheart. i know,” emily sighed. jj’s eating disorder had been playing up so much it had been difficult to get any food down her recently, the whole team had struggled to help.

“come on little love,” emily whispered and pulled jj up into her arms to carry her inside.

“mama,” jj whimpered, hiding in her neck.

“uncle rossi made your favourite, hm,” emilt said.

“carbonara?” jj asked, sniffling.

“yes my love; carbonara for the princess. come sit,” rossi said and motioned for jj’s special chair. emily sat jj down.

“jj eat all up!” penelope cheered and kissed jj’s head as a sweet endearing act.

jj whimpered, not wanting to eat it all up at all.

“you don’t have to. just try some for me okay?” emily said, tucking some hair behind her ear. jj nodded and sighed softly. the rest of the team took their seats and began eating. jj picked up her bluey fork and began eating off her decorated plate. it was safe.

after dinner, the girls were both a lot chirper and no longer angry or upset with one another.

“uncle derek can you come pay wif us?” jj asked with her sweetest puppy eyes.

“pease dada!” penelope begged, her hands clasped together.

“not if we’re playing princesses.” derek said.

“of course it’s princesses. go on mr tough man,” emily teased.

“you have to come play too!” derek said, throwing up his hands.

“nope nope nope. jj knows after dinner is mama’s wine time. you’re playing now,” emily sniggered and waved the bottle of rossi’s most expensive in derek’s face. he sighed in defeat.

“fine!”

“yay!” the little ones cheered and they grabbed a hand each before dragging him up the stairs.

the adults were downstairs and the little ones were getting their derek all dressed up covered in makeup. he looked beautiful to them, obviously, as handsome as ever to everyone else.

“allllll done!” jj cheered and took a step back from her makeup canvas. whilst nj was in charge of the makeup, penelope was on hair.

“i nearly done too,” penelope said.

“then we gotta show him to eveone!” jj muttered and did a twirl in a dress.

“do we have to?”

“mhms,” penelope giggled. “or else all work for nothing.”

“yeah got show eveone uncle derek,” jj said, huffing and sitting on the floor. she was tired but didn’t want to admit it. with penelope’s adhd, she hardly ever slept whereas jj was always sleepy, she usually slept a full 12 hours and more if she could. with it nearing 8pm, she was ready for bed. but she loved playing with her big sister!

“okay doned!” penelope cheered and stood back from the magic creation of bows and clips in her dada’s hair.

“okay let go show!” jj said happily. she jumped up from the floor and headed downstairs, dragging derek too.

“wait jj!” penelope shouted.

“inside voices ladies,” derek reminded his little.

“sorry dada. jj he not wearing his tutu,” penny said, holding it up.

“darn it. do i have to?”

“yessss uncle derek!” jj said and hurriedly pushed him back into their play room.

“darn it.” he said again.

they paraded their derek down the stairs and the rest of the team laughed and cheered at the handy work of their little ones.

“what amazing work girls!” rossi congratulated. “take a bow!”

both girls stood proudly beside derek, who was not happy, and took the biggest, most proudest bows.

“right girls, bed time!” emily said once derek went to get changed.

“not mineee. ha ha jj got go bed!” penelope giggled and ran off. jj stood there, looking between her caregiver’s open arms and penelope who had ran off.

“come on baby i can see you’re sleepy.”

“nope. i not.” jj giggled and ran off after her sister. she didn’t want to miss out on playing, no matter how tired she was.

“jj!” emily called and sighed as she saw the flash of blonde disappear up the stairs.

“it’s a saturday, let her play a little longer.” hotch said, grabbing emily’s arm and pulling her back down.

“she needs rest or she’ll be grumpy and bratty.” emily groaned.

“she’ll be okay. we can just let her sleep in the morning.”

“fine.”

however, what the adults didn’t know is that the girls were up to no good. in the bathroom.

“so we just have to put this in here and this in here and it makes a potion.” penelope said as she mixed the fancy, expensive shampoo bottles into the toothbrush pot in the bathroom.

“okay but what if it no work,” jj said, leaning in close.

“it will. we will be eal fairies in no time jay.” penelope said and handed over the ‘potion’. “you drink first.”

“why me?”

“cus said so.”

“just cus you said so doesn’t mean i have listen.”

“you do. i boss.”

“you not.”

“i older than you. i boss.”

“i wan be boss.”

“you just a baby. drink it.” she pushed it into her chest, causing the foamy liquid to burst out and splash onto the younger girls t-shirt. she hated wet clothes.

“nooo,” she cried, desperately trying to get the wetness off her.

“i sorry jj!” penelope cried. jj lashed out the , throwing her hands at penelope, causing the cup to go flying across the bathroom and soak the floor. both girls gasped at the loud noise and looked as the soap and water leaked across the floor.

“uh oh.” penelope said.

“off!” jj cried, pulling at her still wet top and now wet socks. she sat down, to try and pull them off but cried out as the wetness soaked into her bum and clothes even more.

“mama!” she screamed as she felt herself get more and more overwhelmed.

“no jj. not mama. she tell us off.” penelope urged and kneeled down beside her friend.

“penny help you.” she said.

“no! not you!” jj cried and threw her hands at penelope, pushing her back. suddenly, emily and derek burst through the bathroom door, to see jj push penelope back.

“jennifer!” emily scolded but suddenly saw the distraught state of her girl.

“okay, okay,” she muttered, more to herself and entered the room.

“what were you two doing in here?” derek asked, looking at the state of rossi’s bathroom.

“jj’s idea dada!” penelope instantly blamed jj and jj cried out.

“it not!”

“let’s get you out of here, come on,” emily said and picked up jj. jj clung to her, fussy about her wet clothes still.

“want off.”

“penelope explain what happened in here,” derek said, firmly to his little.

“dada!”

“none of that whining baby cakes, i need to know.”

penelope began explaining then, how jj encouraged them to make a potion to become fairies and insisted that they use rossi’s most expensive shampoos to be the best fairies they could.

“did you drink it?”

“no jj nearly did but she pushed me dada and it spilled so she got angry and pushed again.”

derek sighed. “you’re telling me you had no involvement in this?”

“no dada. i tried stop her!”

“tell me the truth or it’s time out.”

“dadaaaaaa!”

meanwhile.

“jj sweetheart calm down, they’re not on you anymore,” emily soothed her little as she fussed about the clinging wet clothes to her.

“mama they feel them.” she muttered, quickly becoming overtired and overwhelmed.

“do you want a shower?”

“not shower day!”

“baby,” emily sighed. she turned her little one around and pulled her into her lap, rocking her side to side. she began to sing softly, to help calm her down. the little one yawned but calmed down quickly.

“now, tell mama what on earth you were doing in the bathroom with rossi’s things and why i caught you pushing penelope.”

“penny made me.”

“she made you?”

“she said if we make potions and drink them we become fairies.”

“did you drink it?”

“nooo penny pilled it first.”

“how did she spill it?”

“i maybe push her mama but seee made me!”

“she made you push her?”

“mhm!”

“is that how you both ended up on the floor? did she push you?”

“no i falled.”

“so why did you push her?”

“maaammmaaaaa,” jj whined loudly and threw her head back.

half an hour later and both littles were cleaned up into their pjs ready to settle down for bed. emily hoped she’d get her little one to sleep in no time with the constant yawns and rubbing of her eyes it was inevitable but derek had a bigger challenge on his hands as all penelope wanted to play was fairies.

“it bed time penny,” jj whispered, sniffling and snuggling into her sister whilst the caregivers spoke in the kitchen.

“no mine.”

“mhm, you dada say so.”

“nuh uh. just wo cus wo baby.” penelope whispered and wrapped and arm around her baby sister. she kissed her head lightly and emily brought in a bottle of milk for her girl.

“oh look at you two.” she said softly and took in the cute sight in front of her. “my girls.”

“mama,” jj whispered, despite the cuddle she was already getting and raised her arms to be held.

“come to mama.” emily said and lifted sleepy jj up. she sat her across her lap and began feeding her her nighttime bottle, one full of nutrients she needed to help her ED. it was an easy put down. penelope got back to her colouring fairies and derek stroked her hair as he set her warm milk in her sippy beside her.

“fanks dada.”

“you’re welcome baby girl.”

[sabage101]

Card declines at therapy and they bring out the parents of the boy who was alive yesterday

[spritehouse]

anyways jj and spencer are fem/neutral presenting / masc/neutral presenting genderfluid solidarity & emily and penelope are all black / so. many colors gnc solidarity friends

[mordredisacoolname]

CRIMINAL MINDS CHARACTERS - JEALOUSY

Male reader (can be read as gn)

The characters and jealousy before you're dating

Characters: Aaron, Emily, Derek, Spencer, JJ, Penelope, Tara, Luke, Elias

CW: mention of almost getting shot

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

•Aaron hotchner

-he doesn't get jealous easily

-when you talk with other men/women he doesn't mind at all

-especially if he personality knows the person you're speaking with

-even when someone flirts with you he knows they're not competition

-if you do start liking someone he does get a little jealous

-but he doesn't show it, he doesn't have any plans on starting a relationship with you

-if you're not a profiler he doesn't want you to be in danger because of him

-if you are one, he doesn't want to date a coworker

-so even if he gets jealous he won't show it or say anything

-but of course the others notice

-its very subtle but they are trained to study and notice behavior

-they don't dare tease him about it

-depends on who you're closer with on the team they will talk to you about it

-when you say you have feelings for him they will try to encourage you to say something to him

-david or Emily will probably hint him something in between the lines to not ignore his feelings

-so trying to get him jealous or be hard to get isn't gonna work, just talk to him

•Emily Prentiss

-if you're both interested in each other, which you are, she will be flirting with you

-when knows you're interested

-emily won't try anything tho, she believes in not dating a coworker

-if you're not a profiler she still will be reluctant to start a relationship with you, afraid of commitment

-she cares for you deeply

-so she does get jealous

-she won't say it but she will show it

-they flirting will stop, and she'll be more formal with you

-you don't know what's wrong

-only when Derek ir jj, ir even pen tell you why's she acting like this you'll understand

-so you try joking with with her and pointing out her jealousy

-she gets the hint and plays along

-eventually you two meet up together and talk about it, like adults, and decide what to do

•derek Morgan

-oh he flirts with you so much people already think you're dating

-so there's not much to be jealous about

-but if someone does show interest in you he'll observe from the side with an amused face

-laughing to himself first and then actually starts to worry you'll show interest in someone else

-so he kinda tones down the flirting with you because he thinks you no longer have feelings for him

-one day you ask him why's that and if you did something wrong

-he'll brush it off telling you everything's fine

-but you don't buy it

-you decide to go on a date

-but end up thinking about Derek the whole time

-so you confess to him

-he then explains he thought you had feeling for someone else and stopped with the flirting to not make you uncomfortable

•spencer Reid

-you try flirting with him, but he doesn't get it

-so you think it's hopeless and stop

-you try ignoring your feelings for Spencer but it doesn't work

-so you decide to start dating, maybe you'll meet someone you like and forget about Spencer

-but it doesn't work, and you're so exhausted

-of course everyone on the team notices

-even Penelope sees how you look at Spencer, and how he looks at you

-derek gets fed up with this pining and decides to talk with Spencer

-but Spencer himself doesn't know he has feelings for you

-he describes to Derek what he feels everytime you talk to someone attractive and everytime you tell the team you went on a date

-he says he feels weird, a mix of sadness and anger

-so Derek tells him that feeling is jealousy

-spencer then starts paying more attention to this feeling, and your behavior

-of course once someone told him to pay attention to how you behave yourself around him he understands you too, have feelings for him

-so he gathers up the courage to ask you out, not on a date, but just to hang out

-he's weirdly shy and awkward

-usually he's very comfortable with you

-you ask him what's wrong, and he tells you

-they rest of the evening is up to you

•Jennifer Jareau

-she denies her feeling for you, completely ignoring them

-once a deputy you're working with on a case starts flirting with you

-and that she can't ignore

-it distracts her from the case

-she's constantly thinking about you

-because of that she made a mistake and almost got herself hurt

-so she goes up to you at the end of the day, when the case is solved

-"um, you know, I was thinking maybe we could go out and get coffee before work tomorrow?"

-she avoids eye contact

-you of course agree

-the weather is exceptional, you two sit outside of the coffee shop, talking and looking at the view

-she tells you how she couldn't focus on the case

-you ask her why, after all it was a regular one, nothing special

-so Jeniffer tells you how she couldn't stop thinking about that deputy who wouldn't stop flirting with you, and how it made her angry

-you didn't think she liked you back

-so you're over the moon

•penelope Garcia

-your relationship with pen always involved teasing

-little playful comments here and there

-it was fun, you liked it

-so when she noticed you getting closer to a fellow FBI agent from another department she got upset

-the snarky comments were no longer playful

-she was actually hurt, you didn't know what you did wrong

-you try asking her but she ignores you telling you you're just paranoid

-but you know she's lying

-you show up to her house one night, inviting yourself in

-she's surprised, did she forget you two had plans?

-so you tell her you know something's up and you won't leave until she explains herself

-she gets a little mad, you're so oblivious

-you're actually in shock

-penelope likes you back??

-but you thought she flirts with everyone of her friends

-you apologize, and she tells you there's no need, she should've been more forward

-so you decide to have a date, right here and now

•tara lewis

-she doesn't get jealous

-if she doesn't think you have feelings for her she leaves you alone and understands you have the right to flirt with everyone you'd like

-but you give her signs

-maybe you do like her?

-she decides to just ask you, straight forward

-you confess to each other and decide on a date

-she's a very straightforward person, a d is not afraid to show her emotions

•luke Alves

-you flirt, a lot

-but he won't make a move

-and given that he also kinda flirts with Penelope, tho not like he does with you, you don't think anything of that

-so you start dating someone

-he's at a loss of words when you tell him

-he pretends to be happy for you

-but you see there's something he's not telling you

-you decide to have a chat with Penelope

-"oh god you're like two teenagers" she acts annoyed (she secretly thinks it's cute)

-she tells the both of you separately to just talk to each other, confess your feelings

-you're both skeptical but she says to trust her and just do it

-so you do

-you go up to him and at the same time you tell each other you have something to say

-you confess first

-he's in shock, and you both start laughing

-it's safe to say your current boyfriend is no longer your boyfriend by the end of the day

•elias Voit (ok don't @ me he's too cute ik I'm not the only one)

-you first hate him

-everything he's done

-when the team decides to work with him you're so mad

-you ignore him altogether

-but when he sees you for the first time he's locked on on you

-he will let everyone around you know he wants you

-you think he's just playing

-and it annoys you, because you can't help and fall for his charm

-one time your team needs help from him, some information

-so they send you to talk to him

-they moment he sees you he puts his game on

-he can't finish one sentence without a flirty comment

-you get fed up and tell him pretending to like you won't get him anywhere

-he says there's no reason for him to pretend, but you still don't believe him

-he finds it funny but is also kinda pissed

-one time when you use him as bait, you almost get shot, dodging the bullet only thanks to Elias

-you both look at each other, and at that moment you feel it

-you know he's not playing

-of you're so fucked

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

The BAU on a commercial flight:

EMILY: Stopped and searched at the security checkpoint because she forgot she was wearing an ankle holstered gun. Is the person who kicks your seat and hogs the armrest because gay people do not know how to sit on a chair properly.

JJ: Is the one having her armrest hogged by Emily. Opens a packet of peanuts and gives someone an allergic reaction. Should have stuck with Cheetos…

TARA: “It’s okay, I’m a doctor! Not a doctor of medicine, but I’m sure I can figure it out!”

PENELOPE: Watches movies on her tablet and eats M&M’s like the little iPad kid she is, eventually falling asleep on Morgan’s shoulder during ‘Legally Blonde’.

MORGAN: Shamelessly flirting with the flight attendants and trying to hide the fact that he is watching ‘Legally Blonde’ over Penelope’s shoulder—and loving it.

HOTCH: Reading FBI case files in his sunglasses, not noticing the kid who has been staring at him the whole time thinking ‘damn, James Bond be on this flight.’

SPENCER: Talking to that same kid and his mother, explaining aerodynamics and discussing plane crash statistics. The kid’s mother requests a seat change.

ELLE: Lets Spencer explain aerodynamics to her instead. She swaps her red jello for his orange jello from the airplane meal because red is his favourite.

Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios

[parkersbliss]

your instagram when dating spencer reid

inspired by @/happiesthotch @/hotchaways :)

Liked by garciagirlie, alexblake and 374 others

ssa(y/n) love his clown feet 🫶🏼

view all 27 comments

spencephd love her baby feet ❤️

rossisrotini I didn’t know they could be nice to each other

→ jjareau she texted me after posting this and said he slam dunked her with a pillow

→ ms_emilyp @/ssa(y/n) use two exclamation points if you need help

→ ssa(y/n) HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️

→ agenthotch wheels up in 20, you heard her

d.morgan oh to see pretty boys feet

→ ssa(y/n) my eyes only 😡😡

→ spencephd im not sure how to feel about this

→ garciagirlie I could get you photos of lots of feet

→ agenthotch I think we need to have a talk about this

→ garciagirlie i meant my feet with fresh new nail polish* 😁

→ agentahotch 😐

liked by therealellew, jjareau and 427 others

ssa(y/n) pov garcia & morgan are on the phone

view all 33 comments

garciagirlie where’s my chocolate thunder

→ d.morgan right here baby girl 😏

→ spencephd we can’t escape them

→ ssa(y/n) but we can do worse ;)

→ ms_emilyp @/agentahotch do something about this

→ agenthotch no

rossisrotini I beg of you both to not become like them

→ spencephd now you’re just tempting us to do worse 🤷‍♂️

→ ssa(y/n) I await those glorious hands of yours, doctor

→ jjareau what have we started

→ ssa(y/n) ITS FOR A MASSAGE CHILL 😭

→ d.morgan could’ve fooled me tbh

liked by itsmattsimmons, d.morgan and 503 others

ssa(y/n) someone didn’t pass the physical fit test

view all 17 comments

d.morgan is he looking for a trainer 👀👀

→ garciagirl no. never again with you.

→ spencephd literally leave

→ jjareau we’re doing just fine without you 😘

ms_emilyp reid looking to outrun his paperwork

→ ssa(y/n) more like reid running to catch some bitches

→ spencephd so I’m chasing after you?

→ ssa(y/n) 😡😡

agenthotch who’s not doing paperwork 🤨

→ rossisrotini exposed like the lazy kids you are

liked by spencephd, agenthotch and 292 others

ssa(y/n) got my bitch <3

view all 19 comments

Spencephd 😐

→ ssa(y/n) notice how you didn’t correct me

→ spencephd can’t even tie her own shoes smh

→ ssa(y/n) LMAOOO that’s what you’re for SIMP

garciagirlie the love birds are at it again

→ jjareau love birds sounds more like enemies these days

→ d.morgan isn’t that the fun in it?

→ ssa(y/n) yes, he literally just threw the shoe at my face 😇

rossisrotini @/agenthotch got another case for ya

→ ms_emilyp that’s the sound of the police reid 🚨

→ spencephd you know statistically, it takes the police an average of 7 minutes to get to the scene. I could be long gone by then.

→ d.morgan I can hear him through my phone

→ spencephd :)

liked by alvarezluke, rossisrotini and 338 others

ssa(y/n) candid of my favorite nerd 🤭

view all 31 comments

spencephd I’ve been exposed 😟

→ ssa(y/n) wanna be exposed in a different way?

d.morgan looks like we got competition @/garciagirlie

→ garciagirlie 😏 been exposed for years to you baby

ms_emilyp 🤢 I’m moving back to london fr

→ jjareau take me with 🙏🏼🙏🏼

→ garciagirlie GIRLS TRIP

→ ssa(y/n) LETS GO

→ ms_emilyp not you ❤️

rossisrotini 🥂 cheers you two but keep it in your pants

→ ssa(y/n) hard to when he’s this fine 😫

→ spencephd actually die

agenthotch this is what we call a hostile work environment

→ d.morgan you weren’t even there for that hotch

→ agentahotch I have my ways

→ garciagirlie please don’t bring back such traumatizing memories

→ jjareau clearly we need to have this conversation again

— END —

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a/n finally got around to writing some criminal minds stuff 😫