#peggy gravel

[bitter69uk]

Klaxon! Today is a holy day! The truly glorious and versatile John Waters character actress Mink Stole (née Nancy Paine Stoll on 25 August 1947) turns 77! You probably know her best as Connie Marble in Pink Flamingos (1972) or Taffy in Female Trouble (1974), but I’d argue Stole’s crowning achievement is her performance as Peggy Gravel in Desperate Living (1977) (pictured). Who can forget the unstable Peggy ranting and raving in its opening minutes? (“Have I gone to Hell? Is that it? Have I gone straight to Hell?” and screaming at a child "Go home and tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother -- I hate YOU!"). Some fun facts: Pleasant Gehman interviewed Stole on her podcast The Devil’s Music last year. While she’s synonymous with Baltimore, Stole has resided in Los Angeles for years. And it may come as no surprise that being a beloved cult cinema icon isn’t exactly lucrative. For decades Stole maintained a day job as a legal secretary.

[sepenland]

"How can you ever repay the 30 seconds you have STOLEN FROM MY LIFE! I hate you, your husband, your children and your relatives!" - Peggy Gravel

[peggyao3]

Pt. 13 - (Pseudo) Pregnancy

A/N: The only trope yee aunt Peggy will never ever write is actual pregnancy… Meanwhile cannibalism, dune-typical incest, non-con, no problem, but pregnancy is just too close to irl body horror for me, but luckily I can make up anything in the world of fiction and beat the trope into a shape of my liking 😂😌 thank you @nocturn-warrior for the spark of inspiration to pick this prompt hehe 🤭

Can be seen as part of the Night Crawler universe, I think <3

TAGS: she/her AFAB FMC, breeding kink, descriptions of pregnancy symptoms without an actual child growing in there, FMC is thin enough to see a distension of the womb, squirting, dub-con

WORD COUNT: 450

"You're whining so much today," Feyd-Rautha groans, situated warm and hard between her spread thighs.

"Yes," she grates out through clenched teeth, pushing against her husband's round shoulders with no real fight aside from the nails that scrape over his velvety skin. "I'm too full and you damn well, a-ahhh, k-know it!" 

A hard jab of his cock has made a splash of wetness spatter against his hard abdomen and she burns up with shame, feeling the wet glide of skin against her already distended belly.

"Too full, sweetling?" Her insatiable husband grins black and wide, slowing his thrusts and canting his pelvis against the spot that causes her nerves to jitter and more essence to drip past the root of his cock. "I think there's room for a few more of my whelps in your warm, little womb."

Her channel spasms around his obscene girth upon that and he taunts her with laughter. His sweet wife is rotten and can't help the twitching of her needy cunt at the thought of being bred round and full by her virile husband.

All of this is just play. The na-Baron doesn't like the idea of sharing the attention of his treasured toy with a bawling, nagging, vomiting offspring. She can all but pray that it remains this way. Forced into marriage and this play of pretend, she won't allow him to force her into anything else, or their marriage will end in a bloodbath.

"Mmmh, just be still, my darling. Your husband knows what's best for you." Feyd-Rautha picks up speed, stuffing himself into her slick hole despite her indignant whines about the change of tempo. "If you don't wanna keep still, I might just strap you in next time, put you in a harness like a broodmare and stuff you so full that my seed drips down your legs."

His cock jumps against her snug walls and he lets his head fall forward, drool on his lips when he empties himself with stuttering hips, forehead pressing against his wife's. She shivers when his eyes snap open, dark and yearning beneath blonde lashes.

With every rush of seed into her body, the artificially injected cocktail of enzymes that lies dormant in her blood induces a rush of amniotic fluid into her womb. The pressure makes her groan and whine and that's also how she knows it's not real, because it happens too fast. 

Feyd reaches one hand between their bodies, the one with the wedding band, and pats her belly, whispering with gravelled breath how pretty she looks, swollen with his heir and how well she carries his Harkonnen brood.

The effect lasts only a couple of days— But Feyd-Rautha fucks his wife more often than that.

FEYD TAG LIST

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@coastalcowgirl35, @esolean, @szapizzapanda, @tatertooted, @sunny747

@ughdontbeboring

[jackiequick]

What If Bucky Barnes saved a life that day? | MARVEL Fanfic

Pairing: Jason Grey Underwood & James ‘Bucky’ Barnes

Setting: Flashback to December 16, 1991

Summary: It was a old winter night when a crash happened that would swirl the weekend for a world wind, as both eyes met in the chaos of it all. Becoming a interesting sight of secretive events. An old memory coming back to life?

Characters mentioned: Howard Stark, Maira Stark, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Elizabeth Stark, Daniel Sousa and Peggy Carter

Marvel Au fanfic

Warning: Angsty fic with some fluff

———

Gravel crunches under the tires of the Rolls Royce as it trundles up the country road. The Winter Soldier peers through the scope and adjusts his grip, his finger ghosting over the trigger. He's been in position for hours, has watched his targets for over two weeks before this. He knows their routine.

Inside the car sat Howard driving as Maria chatted on the phone with Peggy and Jason trying to figure out a way to nap quietly. Tony was at home he refused to go and stay with his godmother Peggy Carter instead.

This is the first day of a long weekend in the Stark Family country estate. They were meant to meet some people there in the upcoming weeks.

But no one will think to look for them until at least Monday.

The Soldier takes careful aim. If he misses, he will have to eliminate his targets individually. This is much cleaner.

He fires.

With the silencer, the shot is noiseless, but the blown tire is not.

The expensive Rolls Royce had been on the final turn before a wide country driveway. It skids onto the soft shoulder, and flips on its side to slide down a steep ravine. Having the family gasping for air, shielding themselves for comfort and deeply coughing as the car takes a spinal shock.

Screaming and yelling were silence soon enough. Groans can be heard from Jason squeezing his eyes shut as a trickle of blood ran down his forehead and a few shards of glass scarred around him, his pain increased. He felt dizzy, nasty feeling twirling in his stomach and his airways feeling like they shut down for a moment.

Snapping in and out of consciousness at whimpering and soft yelling he recognized. However you could’ve sworn he was dead by his chest not puffing.

Carefully, the Soldier packs away his rifle and makes his way down the slope, dragging piles of dry brush behind him. No one will see the wreckage from the roadway.

The Soldier sees that the woman has been ejected from her seat. Maria Stark. She is dead. He mentally crosses her off his list.

Ripping away the car door from its hinges, he peers inside. Howard Stark trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth waking up in soft mumbling, alerting the others in the car.

Howard Stark opens his eyes, glances over an somewhat conscious Jason as he looks at the Soldier. There is no anger or fear in his gaze -- but something else. Something that gives the Soldier pause. This is not an expression he has seen from his targets before.

Jason’s eyes flickering open falling onto the Howard, before looking at The Solider in pain, trying to search for his gun under his seat.

He locked eyes with the Solider seeing right into his soul. His steel blue eyes deep in an unknown word he can’t trace. The pain behind the lifeless face he gave, pausing at their actions. He doesn’t pull his gun on him, one bit. It was unspoken line between both parties.

"Bucky," Howard muttered. His hands fumbling weakly at his seatbelt, but his gaze is unfocused and vague. Dying, Jason knows it. But he hears his friend say, "Don’t hurt my son if he’s next…”

The word rattles around in the Soldier's head for a few moments without purchase. Jason waits for him to make a move, trying to figure out what happened that his last breath hasn’t come. But nothing.

Howard however takes a battling breath, then his shoulders lower. He dies with his eyes half open.

His attention snaps back at his words, knowing he meant every word as Jason weakly kicked open the door. The Solider finished the job for him tugging him out of the car, scooping up the blondes hand in his. Both men locked eyes once again, confused about the quick actions.

He could snap his neck, pull a gun on him or something.

In the Soldier's pocket is a lighter -- the authorities will assume the fire sparked from the car crash and caught dry brush. The flames will cleanse all evidence he was here.

Bucky... don’t hurt my son if he’s next..

Finish the assignment, the Soldier thinks. However a part of himself couldn’t murder the blonde. He didn’t have it in him to do it. None of them would know. He wondered why the man didn’t say a word to him yet, just staring at him a glint of trouble in his eyes as he felt his hand.

Jason just he recognizes those blue eyes, allowing the man to grab his bicep now as the other was occupied by a handheld gun trying to comprehend why he wasn’t dead yet. Then it hit him, his target included him in the flesh with the dog tags around his neck or at least his wristwatch, for extra evidence of his job being completed.

His eyes wet as all he could do was follow the instructions the Solider—Bucky—gave him. Then he turns and walks into the forest with him. The Solider’s work is not complete. He will be expected to end him.

It's only then he realizes he doesn't want to. His memories felt like they were split in two when they reached a hotel. Jason told him before entering that they will need to straighten up they’re hair and clothes, coming up with a cover story to tell the recipients. Bucky refused to comment on the request but eventually gave in.

An odd couple who needed to stay the night and thankfully she brought it.

Once entering the hotel room, Bucky finally let go of his bicep not realizing he might’ve left a bruised on the blonde. The room was somewhat cozy with beds, the lights were deemed reasonable, tiny kitchen, table with chairs and a bathroom. His eyes flicker titled his heads getting a better look at the man who sat down in one of the chairs.

It rattled Bucky’s brain at the moment seeing him again in full lighting, having not seen him in the longest time. He hasn’t aged a day! It pained him as he watched his movements, trying to remember the night they met. It came in patches across the entire trip here. The memories.

That night and the morning afterwards. It stunning. His smile and glimpse of joy in his eyes.

Everyone dressed in their finest whites and browns laughing teasing one another across the room. But Bucky’s eyes stayed that weekend on the blonde man chuckling with his buddies sharing a beer. With Howard Stark.

His pals were having fun. So, all he wanted was some alone time with the man, ready to enjoy himself and he did.

His voice brought him back to the present day.

“You can take a seat, you know? Get comfortable. I’m not your handler or anything. You took me as your hostage tonight. And for what, Bucky?” He said, his tone was calming but slightly bruised feelings. Tired and hurt.

“Okay..” Bucky replies softly taking a seat, unzipping his suit a bit to allow himself to breathe, “…my mission seems to not be complete. I was expecting to end everyone in that car.”

“So why didn’t you? For the last half hour I have been trying to comprehend why you did pull the gun on me? We were in the forest, you could’ve done it..”

“Because I couldn’t. The look in both of your eyes…I didn’t’ want to. Why didn’t you defend yourself, hmm? The whole time you were silent.”

“I couldn’t defend myself assuming your actions, so I waited for you to make your decision. Now your keeping me safe, why?”

“I don’t know..”

“Yes you do. You don’t remember right? But when my—Howard said your name…you paused. I saw a look in your eyes, you regret it. You heard what he said about his son and you paused. Then looked at me.”

They locked eyes again. Jason hitched a breath, his eyes scanning every feature his face. The look of confused as if he wanted to admit something but couldn’t due to his orders. But he didn’t need to know why he murdered, the only other man to look at with such kindness and the women who took him into her heart with so much love.

The dead know everything. He would just have to accept that one day, but that didn’t mean he decided to not get a swing at Bucky for his actions. He just needed some satisfaction, some answer. By the second swing to the face, his body crumbled in pain from accident. The brunette guided him back to his seat holding his wrist.

He glared feeling weak as he looked up at Bucky again. Some urgency in his face to tell him. Both men knew it. It was silent. It was only then Bucky’s mouth opened and shut, hesitate to say it even though both men knew it all too well. He remembers all of it.

~~~~~

Hours came and went. Jason went on to take a shower after Bucky did. It was a kind offer. It was his only time to actually think.

He was flabbergasted at the sight standing underneath the water that fit his face. In that room held the face of the man he didn’t expect to see. He remember it all too well.

That weekend after that mission, he just met Howard thinking he would never see that man ever again in his life. But he was very wrong! Jason had tears in his eyes missing him so badly, the smell of his cologne still in his nose.

He remembered Howard and him being brought up to a bar. The 107th and 106th gang was there. He was talking with his buddies, along with Howard who was more interested in the bartender. She was hot.

But his eyes fell onto the one of prettiest brunette around. Sergeant Barnes.

Hell he would’ve dated him.

Honestly Jason always had a thing for brunettes since he had Howard and Violet but he loved Angie more than his life itself. As well as his darling Maria, he loved her so much.

Damn the respect people, including himself had for that man.

He remembered both men chatting afterwards enjoying each other’s company. Laughing and teasing one another every once in a while. He looked at him with such kindness and respect. It felt good.

Then he remembered the words that kickstarted the rest of the night and morning after.

Hey, Barnes stole a jeep! Yelled Howard so loudly half of bar heard it.

Next thing he remembered was all three of them riding across the streets, dropping the genius off once he saw the bartender from earlier clocked out, leading him and Barnes alone. The two rode off into the night, passing through street lights and stores glancing over at each other every so often. It felt like a breath of fresh air, laughing the whole time.

They talked about life after the way, family they were waiting for them, and hopefully new opportunities to take upon once it all over. Seeing each other again and heading to vacation for a while. He asked Bucky if he had a lady waiting for him at home and his response was a simple no. Jason remembered his eyes perk up hearing that teasing him on any lady would love to have him.

He remembered the jeep coming to a stop near a park bench on a high hill. Nobody around, just pure sliver dollar silence as the cloudy skies cleared up to reveal the moon and stars. The smell of the flowers and air as he followed the brunette up the hill, sliding over to seat next to him at the benchmark and nice autumn breeze that blew past them.

The way Bucky teased him asking if he had a chance with a girl. His reply was a honest, ‘No, i don’t know if i will settle anytime soon.’

‘Why not?’ Was his response with a smile.

‘I feel like I forgot what normal is meant to be.’

‘I get that. I feel like I didn’t really know how to live before.’

‘Hmm. Maybe, we shouldn’t settle for normal.’

The next morning. It was a sight to see. The sun was coming up, the orange light turned the field into liquid gold shining down on both men. Bucky’s head rested on his shoulder as his hand placed on his shoulder snoring softy. His own head nuzzled against the brunette humming in his sleep, waking up as the sun hit his eyes.

Jason smiled at the memories.

Since it was weekend full with sightseeing, training with his pal and meeting new ones. Sneaking off with Bucky and Howard to the stores then heading off to the restaurants for a quick bite. It was a delightful surprise how comfortable he felt about Barnes, the sweet warm in his eyes and the charming smile that he portrayed everywhere they went.

———

But now in that very room sat the brunette with longer hair, deep blue eyes and a body language that said an unknown things. He barley cracked smiled however he remembered it all. The memories that were made and he actions he took.

To anyone who knew Bucky Barnes, would say he was a bit of a distant distraction from the normal life. He dated plenty of men and women in his time. Always had a thing for people with a respectable background. Something he would come to apparently appreciate in the future.

His mind flew back to that weekend with Underwood. The laughter they shared, the drinks, the running from the bar onto the jeep that night and the hopes to see one another again.

Bucky even gave the man his number and a cheeky wink before he took off to return fight the war.

But he didn’t get the chance to call him. Or even received a phone call since he fell off that train…

The last thing he remembered before waking up to that laboratory full of scientists was dreaming about that weekend. That smile and laughter that escaped Jason’s lips. The grin he gave everyone and the wink he returned to the night.

God! If he wasn’t in this situation, he would run over to the blonde and tell him everything he knew.

But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. He spared his heart by letting him live.

Bucky Barnes cared way too much to murder the man who gave him, a lifetime of memories.

He felt stupid.

But he shouldn’t. He deserved to smile. To see the man he cared for again.

“Bucky..?” Asked the blonde, coming out of the shower with wet hair and a white t-shirt giving him, a gentle smile.

“Hmm.” He responded, sucking a breath flickering his eyesight towards him.

“What’s going on that pretty little head of yours? You can tell me..”

“I um..you won’t like what you hear…i can’t..sorry.”

“I can tell enough. Your working for the other side against your will..you’ve been manipulated by them. I don’t know why you killed my..doesn’t matter.”

“…did you love ‘em?”

“Yeah..with all my heart..”

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry.”

Bucky stood up, he wanted to run. He tried to escape the room, his hand was on doorknob as his voice hitched. He was tired. Annoyed. Sad. Hurt. He looked over his shoulder to look back at the blonde.

The kindness in his eyes. He paused, letting go on the handle as he turned around to face the man. His head dropped in sorrow, facing the floor as he felt light fingertips crawl up his chin, lifting his head to meet the green eyes. Bucky wouldn’t admit it but he missed the starving touch of someone’s warmth against his cold face.

That comforting gaze that would soften his cheeks.

His blue eyes met the green eyes once again. He wanted to let his shoulders fall but he feared it would show weakness. He wanted to let out a sob, but he feared he would let his guard down. But he wasn’t with anyone who would hurt him.

He hoped that Jason wouldn’t try to hurt him, yeah sure he killed his friend however, he could see something else in his face. Sorrow and compassion. Comfort. He was in a vulnerable position.

They both were.

Jason didn’t think he would admit the words that slipped his lips but they did.

“I’m not gonna hurt..i can’t blame you for what you did. It wasn’t your fault. You hear me Bucky? It wasn’t your fault...i just missed your voice..i wish i gotten your call..” The blonde admitted with a soft gaze.

He needed to hear those words.

The brunette shoulders finally fell as his guard fell down, tears slowly shaking down his cheeks. He wouldn’t expect forgiveness for what he did, but he gotten caught up in a tingled mess. Bucky’s head fell onto Jason’s shoulder as the blonde run a hand across his back, whispering softly to his ear that he wasn’t his fault.

Never was his fault. It was a guilt they would be have to carryover until the end of time.

He’s not the villain here, he’s the victim of a crime scene. He didn’t want to do it, but he knew the whole mission had to be done.

And now, here he stood in the arms of the man who showed him some kind of love. Compassion. Reassuring words. Kindness towards him after all the mistakes he did.

He wasn’t in stupid Russia. He was in the arms of someone who treated him like a human. Not a weapon to be experienced with.

“I missed you so many times…” Jason told him, his feelings were hurt but his heart was beating quickly for the brunette in front of him.

Feeling that reached up to the surface again after years of forgetting that heartbreak. It was a weakness inside him, when he looked at someone like Bucky Barnes.

Love? Was it some kind of love? Lust?

Possibly. It was a single weekend they both shared but it felt good. Freeing from the issues the world has been facing. A war.

Bucky eyes were pooled as a sob reckoned his body, he crumbled into Jason’s arms. He remembers the warmth and kindness theses are showed him that late night.

All he wanted now, was to faced him and beg for the blonde to help him with the hidden wound he tried to patch up eariler but failed to do so. However he knew he didn’t need to beg for help, he was already getting it. He was allowed to let his guard down for once in a long time.

It felt good, real good.

“J..JJ..I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry for what I did.” Bucky admitted with a chocked sob, “I didn’t expect to see you again after all theses years..and I have to return back soon…but I don’t want to..”

“I know you don’t…I know you have to return but when you do, I want to know that you survived so long and I’m proud of you. You did the hard part and one day you will get a better break..” Jason told him, trying to find the words to express how he felt.

“When..?”

“I don’t know when or how you will get a chance to breathe again but you will Bucky, all I could hope is for you to be happy one day...and for now, I’m going to give you one.”

“Huh? JJ I can’t let you do that..I’m already in so much trouble soon..”

“Let me fix your wound..like I used to?”

“I’ll like that…uh, are you okay?”

“I will be..”

Jason gently guided Bucky to the edge of the bed, waiting for him remove his jacket so he saw the badly cleaned wound. He found a first aid kit and started to clean it correctly, with such ease and gentleness asking if it stings every so often. Bucky started to smile down at the blonde who cleaned his wounds. He noticed the cuts and bruises on his face and arms.

Bucky winced as he softly muttered, “Sorry…”

“Don’t be..I’ve been though worse.” Jason said with a soft smile.

“You got better at this..”

“Yeah well, with the plenty of injuries I kinda had to..”

“You’ve been injured before?”

“Fights and missions in my own line of business..”

“How are you still alive?”

“Same as you, my body is frozen in time. But that’s a story for another time…”

“…are you uh, married? Kids?”

“Oh? Um, no. I couldn’t find anyone who could deal with my burdens. I mean I loved and lost before but i wouldn’t want anyone to suffer a lie that isn’t theirs..”

“Do i wanna ask?”

“I think it’s best not to. I mean, I’m not asking for anything about your line of work or lifestyle. We don’t need to talk about it.”

“Where are you going after this?”

“I uh, don’t know yet..I need to keep the wounds on and build another cover story. But I’ll figure it out later..”

“And now?”

This time, Jason looked up with a soft smile once he finished cleaning and patching him up correctly, as he shrugged. His green eyes burden so much hurt, love and confusion that carried so much depth behind that. Bucky would’ve loved to take that away, anyone would have given him a chance to breath during this time.

He doesn’t know what he did to describe or even deserve this one thing from him.

But sure as hell he was grateful for it.

“Do you ever…wonder what life would’ve been like if none of this ever…uh..um, happened?” Bucky asked, sounding kinda stupid the way his words slurred, “.. I would’ve loved to hang out with our buddies a lot more and date around..”

“Well I would’ve been married, with a kid or two..we would’ve lived closed by to your house..” Jason said with a small smile taking a few pauses as he thought, “…maybe you and me would sneak off for a night at the bar..”

“…I would’ve married Dot..god I loved her..and you would’ve gotten Angie..that was her name, right? I remember her eyeing you a lot..”

“Yeah, Angie Martinelli..I loved her way before I knew she would’ve been friends with Peggy Carter..but times change.”

“You haven’t..”

“You can say that…”

“What about us? If I wasn’t Hydra…where d-did you work after the war?”

“Uh, the SSR..now it’s SHIELD..you would’ve loved it. Hell, I think you would’ve loved Elizabeth.”

A smile crept up Bucky’s lips at the reminder of Elizabeth Stark’s name.

She was smart, sweet as candy, gorgeous, a wildcard and a total badass in his eyes. He got flashes of her face and the moment they met after he was rescued by the others. She was one of the most beautiful and kindness ladies he ever met, greeting each other with so much respect.

She teased him about a dates and he gave her his number. As they were spending night just chatting on the phone at hotels and campsites available for calls. He remembered promising another date before the war ended.

But never did live up to that promise. He hoped she was alright.

Jason noticed the look on his face and gave him a gentle smile, “Hey..it’s alright. We all miss her.. and i know you did the best you could do with the time we had in the war..”

“I know..I know..sometimes I wish I didn’t fall into the woods and that I held onto that railing…but it wasn’t my intention for any of it..it never was. I had a clear goal that day and it got turned into something else…I’m sorry for everything..” Bucky admitted looking down for a moment.

“It wasn’t your fault, okay? None of us could’ve predicted any of this to happen to our lives..but we are surviving and that’s all we can do..”

“I can only imagine what you’ve seen and been though over all theses years..”

“Don’t worry about me..I can handle it…or so I hope I can….what else do you remember?”

“A lot of it..sometimes it comes in flashes..”

“Such as?”

“…this blonde haired man..tall..blue eyes..”

“Ohh..”

“There was a old knock off comic book, I saw it a few days ago…Captain America, I think it is was?”

“Yeah, a lot of countries and states still sell them…and? You remember anything..?”

“I um..I know him, I think i do? I know I do…who is he?..Rogers…”

“...he was your best friend, Bucky…Steve Rogers.”

The name rattled in Bucky’s brain for a few short minutes as he stayed silent. Searching his eyes waiting for a sign as he stayed biting his bottom lip, sniffling trying to remember.

He remembers it. The face, the name, and the sound of his voice.

His best friend til the end of the line…

Jason took out his wallet, rummaging though the brown leather until he pulled out a small picture. A tiny one of the night at the bar that a photographer grabbed. He handed it to Bucky, as his fingers crossed the old photograph as his eyesight got blurry. Fresh tears came rolling in.

“Steve.” The brunette muttered, as the flashes of memories came back better than ever, like someone clicked the undo button.

“You have this?” Bucky asked mumbling about the picture in his hand.

Jason nods, “I like to keep old photographs in my wallet..that one was supposed to be for Peggy, uh Carter, to keep..she wanted it framed.”

“He looks..i look..oh god Steve..how could i—? How could I forget his face of all people?”

“It’s not your fault. HYDRA..they did it. They don’t want you to remember of this, because they know something might happen..”

“…did they ever take you..?”

“They tried. Once. In the 40s, a lot of Russian men and women. They kidnapped me during a mission..they almost wiped my mind..i mean, they kinda did..”

“..you don’t remember a lot either?”

“Some memories came and went..just like you, the situation it feels a little fuzzy. But I’m okay. We’re both okay…do you remember anything about Steve?”

“I remember a lot..before and after the war when i fell, I remember the memories of him..”

Bucky had a look in his eyes as if he’s reliving a memory. He let out a light chuckle and sniffled, “..he’s a little punk. I told him to not do anything stupid…”

Jason just watched Bucky in that moment. He didn’t say a word. Just listen to him as he mumbled and muttered softly with a light smile at his memories. A look in his eyes seemed to return as he watch him.

Some lightning of gentle glee in the brunette’s eyes as he talked, running his fingers crossed his long brown hair and catching the other man’s eyes every now and then.

“..do you remember your full name..?” The blonde asked softly, after being silent for so long leaning against the bed.

“Mhmm…more or less..i don’t like it..” The brunette admitted, matching his soft tone.

“..James Barnes..I always liked Bucky better..”

“..i think i was a good friend, right? I was good enough that it became my nickname..?”

“Well, I remember you did say that Steve gave you that nickname when you were kids..so i think you were a great friend..”

“..and was i good to you?..am i good to you?”

“What do you think?”

“..i think i was good to you?..i hurt you though..i hurt a lot of people’s feelings..i know it..”

“It wasn’t you. I can’t blame you, for hurting me or those people..”

“..why are you so good..to me? The world has been cruel to me..”

The blonde gave him a small smile, tugging some hair out of his face for a second and let out of a breath before standing up. Jason knew why he was good to Bucky Barnes. The world is a cruel place fulled with cruel people and niceness isn’t something everyone gets. He should know.

In his eyes, the brunette deserves some kindness and attention after everything.

“The world is cruel and hard and if it sees any bit of light..it will crushes it. And you deserve a chance to feel cared for, not be seen as a weapon. Or an experiment..” Jason said with a soft gaze.

His words meant more than he lead on.

“It sounds like your talking from experience..” Bucky replies, fumbling with his sleeves.

“I sorta am. And how i seen it, your more than what they made you to be.”

“You know…your the only thing that makes sense right now to me..thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

———

The rest of the night went as follows. The silence of fallen snow along with the sound of plates clanging together then dropped into the small sink. They were able to get food and water from the hotel, and able to find some form of entertainment on TV.

Hell, they found some extra clothing left in a closet to borrow for some time.

Both of them stayed in comfortable silence, giving all smiles and having conversations.

It was late. Very late into the night when tiredness started to take fold. It was mostly Jason who was tired, trying to nurse a tiny headache meanwhile Bucky was just resting his head on a pillow.

“You should rest..” Bucky said softly, resting his head against his curled in arms.

“You first.” Jason replied with a soft tease in his voice, looking over his shoulder.

“Hilarious..at least take a nap.”

“I’m fine..”

“What’s wrong?”

“Should i be the one to ask you that?”

“Jason. What’s going on?”

“..how can i rest knowing what i know now..? I’m not mad about anything, just sad and tired..surprised.”

“Why?”

“It’s Christmas time, Bucky. I lost a lot my friend beforehand..my nephew hates his father..and some others are god knows where..”

“..i’m sorry. It’s my fault your gone..they’re gone.”

“No it’s not..our Christmas was already a messy one, before you showed up..no one really cares about the holiday too much anymore.”

“So i sorta saved your Christmas?”

“I guess you did.”

Both men let out a small chuckle at the last comment. It was the holiday season and here they are in the mist of it all, hiding out til morning or early afternoon. It wasn’t so bad, per say since they weren’t alone in the slightest bit but they would’ve liked it to be in better circumstances. Jason knew he wasn’t gonna enjoy this holiday season as much as he used to, and seeing Bucky was a surprise to say the least.

But a serious secret he would have to keep, like other things he kept secret from the world.

He knew he would have to return back home soon, change his whole identity once again and transfer any information onto new documents, like he did every December reach the end of a decade.

Bucky watched him, move across the room to reach forward and grab a few dusty books from the small group of shelves. It confused Bucky onto what he was he doing, seeing the man pick up a napkin and a pencil. He watched him scramble and scribble onto the napkin, crossing things down as he went. He justified his own actions against the questions he had, leaning over to get a closer look at the actions Jason silently took.

It made him wonder how much times he did this in pure silence as the TV played as background noise. His bets were 15 times a day, once every couple of months? He saw titles of different types being scripted on the napkin, but it wasn’t clear to him because of subtle it was written, where it look like a small riddle or rhyme in a children’s book.

He watched Jason pick up on the paused that he made, looking over at the TV Christmas movie that was set up on the screen.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Bucky muttered, turning the volume of the movie up to an 8.

“Hm?” Jason answered, resting book against the bedside table.

“The napkin. The books. You look like a mad man.”

“Hilarious, Barnes. I’m just tinkering with something, a new theme..”

“N-new theme?”

“Uh, new alias, I guess..”

“Walk me through this, for I can understand what you mean..because I think I get it.”

“You were sent to murder Mr and Mrs. Stark, not knowing they would have an extra passenger seated in the back, right?”

“HYDRA assumed that Stark would have a party or something following him to his drive but they didn’t confirm that being the case. They want anyone who was in the car, as witnesses or something to be dead..you were there.”

“Exactly. I was there, they didn’t even bother to confirm if Stark would have another passenger there like his son or his best friends. But they want evidence of the murder, you shot the sirens and cameras right?”

Bucky gave him a look as if he was stupid or something, of course he shot the cameras. Jason cleared his throat after that look he received, getting his answer. That was also when Bucky realized what he means and where he’s getting at. A new cover story, an alias and everything after tonight. It made him wonder how many times has he done this routine before.

Bucky sighed, “I see what you’re doing. I get it, I do and you won’t tell me anything about the alias to keep you safe..for HYDRA doesn’t ask me question, they might as well wipe my mind after this mission is over..”

“Hm, yeah. I’ve done this before and I’ll do it a million times over.” Jason repiled, handing the brunette an old school pin from his jacket marked with dried up blood and sighed, “This is mine.”

“What the hell is this?”

“Old school SSR pin, every single agent had one. Howard had copy in his jacket pocket that you didn’t take, they won’t know the difference between the signs of the pin, that’s your evidence.”

“Ja-I can’t take it. It’s yours..it’s evidence but still..”

“They might want evidence, Bucky. I won’t need it, not where I’m going. I have everything else at home..I’m glad Howard died with his pin in his pocket, it meant he created everything he could for the organization’s future and I would have to return back to SHIELD without mine..”

“You’re an idiot. They will know you don’t have yours, won’t they?”

He shook his head this time, he had that one covered. With all the years he lived, he made sure he had a copy of everything he could possibly own and could be used for travel tucked away in a small area at his house. Certain items stayed within that box and others were thrown away, to not stir any controversy over him. Jason wasn’t that stupid.

It made Bucky wonder however, if he didn’t murder Jason Underwood allegedly since it seemed like that name died for the public a long time ago, then what alias did he take down within that flamed car earlier? It was better he didn’t know that particular name until later, when asked. He just nodded instead with a soft sigh.

The rest of the night was spend a rather sleepless one, due to Bucky wondering and reloading his equipment, packing up everything needed to return back to work soon. Meanwhile Jason stayed sat on the bed, trying to rematch up his own wounds and rewrite in his mind the way to get back home without any deep questions. His cover was the easiest part, he was badly hurt which was truth and wasn’t thinking straight due to having an unlimited amount of time.

His mind ran across to only responsive person he knew who would grab him what was needed was Daniel Sousa, no questions asked, without Peggy on his back door for too long pondering what happened.

Bucky was half asleep, his head rested on the pillow with a soft smile watching the blonde chuckling softly to himself. Jason was resting in his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling humming a soft tune as his eyes glanced over at the brunette who was staring right at him. His piercing blue eyes connected with his green ones in a shimmer of the bedroom lights. If it wasn’t for the night he wouldn’t have blushed more easily as he should have.

“What? Can’t find the confidence to look me in the eyes, Underwood?” Bucky said with a grin, chuckling as he let out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding. He might as well be flirting.

“Watch it, Barnes. Last person who looked at me that way, i ended up on a hill in France.” Jason added shaking his head, returning the effortlessly warm grin.

“Ohh who was the lucky one?”

“You know who. For someone who just finished a murder mission, you’re awfully flirty with me.”

“I didn’t want to do it..you know that. It’s just seeing you all relax..makes me forget about everything, you know?”

“I know..despite that whole look of yours, I’m actually digging the number you’re wearing..it’s stupid..I’m delusional.”

“If you’re delusional then I’m sure as gone.”

The two of them softly chuckled.

Jason softly smiled, “Hey.”

“Hm?” Bucky replied staring back at him again.

“You look..good.”

“I uh..I feel good.”

They shift in their respective positions, rolling over in bed to face the other person in a more comfortable manner. Despite all the stress and frustration that they feel about tonight, the moment they looked at each other’s faces, it all melted away.

Hydra, being on the run, Shield, keeping lies to themselves and begging for the truth not to come back to haunt them—all of that? It drifted over to the back of their minds like it was nothing.

Funny, how seeing someone who you missed so much time with can do to a person.

As if, it was written in stone by the gods above to somehow be interwoven in each other’s life one way or another. Jason and Bucky shouldn’t be allowed to share such a secretive moment together, tucked away in some hotel room after such a harsh encounter, yet here they are. Both cold and alone in the mist of the night, despite the central heating system wrapping around the ground, it seems like it would barely survive the hours up ahead.

“I missed you..” Jason admitted, as his voice lowered to a whisper but the brunette heard it.

Bucky was taken back by his words as he melted a little and returned to confession, “…so did I. I uh, I missed you a lot..”

“It was some silly night but I remember it, you know?”

“You remember the rest of the week? We sneaked off to every other store to find the best souvenir but ended up at a ice cream parlor instead.”

“Didn’t we share an ice cream together?”

“Cause they only had a couple scoops of Rocky Road left! You do remember.”

Bucky roared a laugh as Jason grinned.

The Winter Soldier wasn’t in his eyes, nor was the Agent at SHIELD in his own.

Just two old men, Jason Grey and James Buchanan.

There was a lot bending on their hands with the horrific incident that occurred in front of their eyes, yet neither side had the slightest intention to bring it up again for a long time. Yes, Jason could’ve shot him while stuck in this hotel and Bucky could’ve done the same at any point, but they didn’t dare to do so.

Jason knew if he did, HYDRA would’ve been after him in a matter of weeks and it would take longer for him to recover and return home to his life in California. Bucky knew if he killed him, it would’ve been another kill in his books that would haunt him forever and he made a silent promise to Howard Stark to not go after his son, in response he needed the blonde to return home alive.

Aside from the obvious mess brewing upon them and lack of self respect, if it was up to Jason and Bucky, the two would run away together. Be hidden away from the world until everything died down and they could start somewhere else, have a better chance to escape the chaos and breathe.

Yet, it wasn’t in the cards for either of them.

Instead both men ate whatever snacks found in the refrigerator and vending machines in the halls, watching the crappy old movies on television as they stayed chatting until dawn…

…the morning sunlight peaked through the shades of the hotel that very first alarm to strike upon the room, cracking open the notion that this wasn’t a dream, everything that happened last night was just fact.

The second clue to this alarming trend was that the other bed was emptied out, paneling over the bed closes to the door as glimpses of the blonde and brunette snoring calmly. Fully clothed, wearing some fabric they found in one of the closets comfortable enough to rest in. Bucky’s hand lay across Jason’s chest as the blonde hummed in his sleep with his fact turned toward the brunette’s direction.

Both curled underneath the blanket for warmth, breathing deeply into the air surrounding the room. The pillows were soft, the mattress kept itself polished and comfortable, as blankets were stacked one over the other beneath the pair.

The third striking feature of the set was the moment Bucky slowly turned to his left, letting out a soft groan as he fluttered his eyes open. He squeezed his eyes for a second to breathe in the silence and light that filled his senses, meeting the sleeping gaze of the blonde man.

He only felt a slight smile reaching his lips, as the memory of last night slowly wired in his brain, where the two were watching on a movie then nodding off on his bed unexpectedly, the temperature dropped as it resulted in finding a couple more blankets to keep warm. A part of him should shiver and regret this folding turn of events that took place.

But he couldn’t shake off the pressure of leaving him in the hotel alone after all of this is over. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t think twice and find a way to escape this situation, bringing the other with him for just a little while. Despite the high urge to do something about it, he couldn’t get himself to disappear from the bed and leave the key behind.

Instead he stayed, watching every tall tale feature the blonde had to offer his memories.

“..mornin’..” Mumbled Jason softly and ever so gently as his eyes stayed closed.

It almost startles Bucky at the sudden voice reaching his ears but nonetheless he smiles, “..m-morning.”

There was a peaceful silence that drafted between them.

“How did you sleep?” Asked the blonde, slowly opening his eyes turning to get a glimpse of the brunette.

And by god, James Barnes wasn’t allowed to look this well at the crack of dawn. His long dark locks curled around the edges of the pillow, his blue eyes shining in the sunlight and the cool metallic hand rested on his chest just as comfortably.

After a long second, Bucky responded, “I uh, I slept well actually..”

“I bet.” Jason joked, bringing a light smile to his face.

That caused a crash of light chuckle to fill the air.

The morning went pretty well. The two stayed in bed staring at the ceiling and stealing glances half of the time, enjoying the light banter. Eventually Bucky crawled out of bed and got himself in the shower, then soon went Jason’s turn to freshen up.

After a long period of time of declining interest in food, Jason’s stomach growls as he grabbed himself a sandwich from the hotel bar and a couple of drinks from the vending machine. He may or may not have taken a couple of bucks out of the brunette’s wallet that morning.

But he repaid him with a sandwich and a bottle of water, despite Bucky’s light glares he couldn’t be bothered to give a remark as hunger strikes. He just ate calmly and hummed a small smile to the man.

Sadly enough, the time they had spent together came to a close. Items were packed, stitches were wrapped and clothing was tucked away for any cleaning lady to come in later. Jason sat on the bed buckling his bootstraps and cuffing his socks into place, as his gaze turned to the man who was fumbling with his jacket once more. Bucky nodded, getting the last clasp secured on his jacket and swung his bag over his shoulder.

The two had a seamless idea to leave the hotel one after the other, in order to not stir up any wondering eyes or glimpses of controversy in the air. Yes, the thought was more than simple for anyone to follow along if they were looking too closely but neither was willing to take that chance.

Barnes was first to leave.

Neither said a word, just kept their gaze afar from another.

As Bucky stood by the door, his hand hovering over the doorknob, a sudden wave of emotion washed over him once his gaze fell on Jason for the 5th time this morning. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving without expressing the depth of his feelings and gratitude towards the man.

He didn't know if he would retreat or regret this later on, however at the moment, he didn't care to dwell on those thoughts.

With a swift and decisive movement, Bucky turned around, closing the distance between them in an instant. A finger hung under the blonde's chin, staring into each other's eyes. Without a second later, his lips met Jason's with a gentle and tender touch, a silent testament to the unspoken words that lingered between them.

For a brief moment, time seemed to stand still as they shared the intimate embrace, the weight of their emotions hanging heavy in the air.

Jason's initial surprise quickly melted into a reciprocal response, his body instinctively leaning in to meet Bucky's kiss. Their lips moved together in a dance of longing and affection, each moment filled with a sense of warmth and belonging that neither wanted to let go of.

When they finally parted, there was a softness in their smiles, an understanding that transcended words. It was a silent agreement, a shared moment of mutual affection and longing that bound them together in ways they couldn't fully comprehend.

A couple of milliseconds past, standing there in pure silence.

Bucky once turned to leave, a smile graced his lips, his heart filled with a newfound sense of peace and contentment. The door closed behind as he turned towards the steps leading himself to the first floor of the hotel.

Jason watched him go, still slightly breathless from the unexpected kiss, a part of him couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself, shaking his head in disbelief at the whirlwind of emotions that had swept over them both.

And as they went their separate ways, the memory of that fleeting moment lingered in the air, a reminder of the small yet somehow profound connection they shared...

//

Ahhh! Couldn't resist writing for this unexacting pairing, this has been in my drafts for a year now and decided to finally post it. Anyways let me know what you think. Remember to like, comment and share

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @cherrysft @rickb-chaos @starkleila @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @buckysteveloki-me @yetanotherwells @nakiaswg @carellmcu @ximehs @xgoddessoffandomsx

[holy-puckslibrary]

sid to a furry friend's rescue!

florist!reader gets flustered during sid's calendar shoot

parents mentors for the day

chief crosby's got a date... and its not with florist!reader

... was in a bit of a silly goofy mood, forgive me (and be sure to read the endnotes!)

gif from @littlemessyjessi

This is the last thing Sidney Crosby imagined he'd come home to: another man settled in his chair.

His cat is curled in the intruder's lap, and said intruder's hand is curled over your knee. And Sidney's soup—homemade and hand-delivered—split in bowls between you.

"Thought you didn't need a babysitter?"

Sidney watches the gleeful expression wilt on your pretty face—color drained like his bank account succeeding the egregious bid he matched to make bail—with equal measures of self-satisfaction and self-contempt.

"I-I didn't, I just—"

"Settle down, Chief," the ranger laughs. "I knew our little lady here was feeling under the weather, so I thought I'd stop by after my patrol shift and keep her company while you were indisposed."

Sidney glares into the bright cerulean eyes of one Anthony Beauvillier, a park ranger in the Atlantic Coast Uplands region.

If memory serves, he was recently transferred from Waverley to Blue Mountain but resides in Peggy's Cove. This is a 50-minute detour.

In the opposite direction.

The Fire Chief's jaw is painfully tight, his blood scalding. If it were't for his, albeit dwindling, sense of self preservation, Sidney would've marched up those two steps—recently refurbished at his hand, might he add—to forcefully remove the park narc's grubby paw from your body.

Mercifully—for all involved parties, you do so shortly and of your own volition before joining Sid in your driveway.

Guilt smeared over your sickly features, your mouth parts, an explanation hot on your tongue, but all that comes is a grizzly cough that stings Sid's chest just hearing it. Despite his vexation, he's patient with you; he owes it to you both to wait it out. He hopes this is just one big misunderstanding somehow.

But, before you're able, the absolute last person Sidney wants to hear from pipes up.

"Resting, ma biche. You're meant to be resting," Tito attempts to coax you back onto the porch—back to his side—with an outstretched, up-turned hand.

(my doe / my darling — reminder: see end for important notes!)

Not as quick with his French as he'd like to be, he growls at the perceived insult. However, rather than running his fist through the opposition's teeth in your honor, Sidney defiles it.

The park ranger, and everyone else who happens to be out and about tonight, are treated to an unexpected eyeful of their Fire Chief's innermost feelings rushing to the surface. They pour into your mouth with reckless abandon, unconcerned with his public image or the utter lack of privacy; this kiss could be broadcast on the Nightly News for all he cares.

All that matters to Sidney Crosby is making his intentions known, and crystal fucking clear. Staking his claim is just a bonus.

"Well, it looks like my work here is done."

At your dazed expression and Sid's bewilderment, Tito stands from the rocking chair with a genuine smile fixed on his face. As he deposits evergreen Stetson atop his wind-swept hair, he pauses.

"Y'all have a nice night," he winks with a tip of the brim, bidding you farewell before slipping into his government-issued Ram.

As gravel crunches under the vehicle's wheels, gears click into place behind Sidney's burnt umber eyes, now gleaming with clarity.

"Nate and Emmy." — Statement, not a question.

"Please, don't be angry. They just wanted to help because... because I didn't believe that... y'know." You gesture to the sliver of space that still separates you, a bashful little smile pushing up your feverish cheeks.

He couldn't find it in himself to be ticked off about your best friends' not-so-harebrained scheme—which, honestly, deserved more credit than he would ever be willing to give it—if he wanted to. Not while standing so close he can smell the PEI tulips you've been elbow-deep in all month, and definitely not having tasted the whisper of herbal tea lingering on your tongue.

Smirking, he closes the gap with a gentle tug.

"Oh, I know." Voice dropping to a thick hush, his lips hovering a lick above your skin, "D'you believe it now?"

The pinkish skin crinkles around his warm eyes as you pretend to think.

"I could do with a little more... convincing," you ultimately quip. "But, only if you're up for the t—"

The remainder of your cajoling is overtaken by a fit of giggles as he corrals you up and across the porch. The front door slams shut with a satisfying air of finality. Though, not before little Ember slips in with you.

Chief Crosby was thorough by nature, and he'd be damned if he didn't dedicate the evening to dispelling any and all doubts threatening to take root. Feigned, or not.

—

gotcha! teehee 😋 sid really said sick germs?? no match for my LOVE!!! ALSO! tito anon, this ones for you bbyyyyy 💓💓💓💓

***** 'ma biche' was chosen because its typically humorous and rarely intended seriously, + can be considered majorly outdated (even by 60s sitcom standards)—and its not always romantic! ... it also sounds a lot like an english insult, hence sid's reaction lol (at least, according to my french-canadian grandmother who remains very confused by my random call for a french lesson on infrequently used terms of endearment lol) *****

as always, i would really appreciate if you reblogged my work, left a comment or dropped by my inbox w some feedback :) fandom runs on engagement, and so do writers!! thx a mil in advance!

[tryingmybestpls]

Fourth of July

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Bucky visits the cemetery the first since Steve funeral, but he isn’t the only one that’s mourning on the Fourth of July.

Word Count: 2.3k

Rating: R

Warnings: Grief, self-harm, depression, death, mourning, mentions of infidelity

A/N: Listen, this has been in the works for a year, but I’ve been redoing this whole time. I wrote it listening to “Fourth of July” by Sufjan Stevens. Slight AU because I like to think that Bucky didn’t know that Steve was gonna do that shit. 

It was humid in the city, making it feel a lot hotter than it actually was. He had started to sweat under the sweater he had pulled on and he tried his best to ignore the discomfort. The slight breeze made the various red, white, and blue decorations flap in the wind and carried the scent of someone grilling nearby. Hot dogs, he thinks.

As the sun started to set, the smell of gunpowder started to fill the air as the streetlights started to flicker on. Children ran past him as he walked on the sidewalk, sparklers held high in their hands. They giggled and laughed, their families yelling at them to be more careful. The man just keeps on walking, quickly crossing the street as soon as his destination came into the view.

Bucky shoved his hands into his pockets, keeping his cap covered head down as he walks into graveyard, gravel crunching under his feet. He hasn't been here since the funeral and he didn't really want to come today, but he knew he should.

A part of him still wanted to scream at his best friend, wants to ask him what was so special about Peggy Carter that he had to go and upend so many lives. The other part of him just wants to stand there and cry, mourn the loss of his best friend, his brother, the only tie to he had to his old life.

Yet, someone had beat him to it to that second one.

He didn't expect her to be kneeling there in front of the shining marble headstone, her body as still as the statues that dotted the cemetery. She doesn't hear him, or possibly just chooses to ignore that someone else was here to mourn over the same person today. He can see that she's saying something, but even with his super hearing he can't hear it.

Bucky stopped in his tracks, not knowing exactly what to do in this situation. Should he let her be, let her mourn? Should he call Sam and ask her to come sit with her? Raynor hadn't prepared him for this. He was barely getting his own feelings under control, so how was he supposed to help anyone else? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He had only met her a handful of times, with most of them being before a fight. The first time that he had met her, the first time he actually can fully remember meeting her, was after the mess in Berlin, when his arm was caught in a vice because none of them knew if he was still Bucky. She had smiled at him and said in a saccharine sweet voice, “I will not hesitate to put you six feet under if you do that shit again, understood?”. It was after that comment, after Sam and Steve had both look at her almost in shock, that the latter had introduced her as his wife.

Before he knows it, his feet are carrying him towards her, his footsteps almost silent on the grass until a twig snaps and announces his approach. Y/N's back straightens, her body tensing. Bucky's feet don't stop though, not until he is standing right behind her. She keeps her eyes locked on his headstone, tears having left black colored tracks on her cheeks.

"Are you alright?" Bucky questions, immediately kicking himself for how stupid his question was. Of course she wasn't fucking alright. The woman was crying at her lover's grave on the man's birthday. You're a fucking idiot, James Buchanan Barnes. He watches as her eyes shut and she tilts her chin upward every so slightly, letting out a shaky breath. In the distance, fireworks go off, shimmering in the sky.

"You don't have to say anything-It's okay." He quickly replies, knowing that he wouldn't want to open up to someone that he hardly knew. Y/N sighs, her eyes fluttering open and she looks back down at the slab of marble. In front of it was dozens and dozens of offerings. Flags, small shields, candles, plastic red, white, and blue flowers, action figures of the man himself-all left by people they didn't know.

"I didn't think anyone was going to be here. I thought that since it was getting dark that everyone was going to be watching the fireworks." She tells him, her eyes scanning over the words on the headstone over and over again, as if the name was going to change, "I guess I was wrong."

"I didn't want him to be alone on his birthday." She cuts through his thoughts with a knife, stopping him in his tracks. Her voice sounds small, almost faraway as she continues, "I didn't want to come, didn't want to be here, but-but, I knew he shouldn't be alone on his birthday. No one should be alone on their birthday."

Red explodes in the sky, bathing them both in scarlet. Another flies past it- a green one this time-and bursts as the other fades, just as Bucky takes a seat beside her. He gives her ample space  as he tries to get comfortable on the grass.

"No, no he shouldn't." Bucky echoes as he picks up a small action figure of Steve. The eyes are slightly crooked and the colors of his suit have been discolored by the sun, "Did he ever let you throw him a party? I tried, but the punk never let me. Always told me that we shouldn’t waste money on shit like that."

"A couple of times, but nothing too big. Just something small, no gifts, no frills." She answers, a faint smile appearing on her face, "Always gave me something to do. I've never been patriotic."

A bright white firework exploded in the sky, making it look like a thousand more stars had suddenly burst into existence before flickering out.

"You aren't patriotic but you married him?" He questions, holding the action figure in the air. She her smile grows ever so slightly as she shakes her head, her eyes turning towards the sky. Bright blue illuminates her, turning her cobalt for a few seconds.

"I see the irony in it too, don't worry."

There's a moment of silence between them. He looks away from her, his eyes focusing back on the headstone in front of them. The noise of the city celebrating still sounds then, the whistles of the fireworks flying into the sky, the cheers of happy children.

She had disappeared after the funeral.

No more public engagements, no more paparazzi shots. Sam had said that she hadn't been calling, hadn't talked to him at all since they laid Steve to rest. The lights were always off at the house she used to share with him in Brooklyn, but they knew she was home.

She didn't have anywhere else to go.

Her friends were either dead or spread to the wind. Her team was gone, splintered far beyond repair. She would’ve had her husband, but he had made his choice and now she sleeps in a bed that’s too big for her, in a house that’s too quiet, too empty.

"Do you think-Do you think we are allowed to be mad at him?" Her voice is no louder than a whisper when she decides to speak. Her eyes once more on the slab of marble, looking at it like the man himself was sitting there with them. She continues, her eyes watery, "I don't-I've been trying not to be angry with him, but I can't."

"I think so. He-He kind of screwed us over, didn't he?" Bucky answers, turning his head to look at her once more. Her thumb was twisting her gold wedding band around her finger, trying to calm herself, rating to rein in her emotions. 

She was there was Steve came back, hair white and skin wrinkled. She hadn't said anything-No, she just looked at her husband, tears filling her eyes. There was no screaming, no sobbing, no real signs of any outward emotions other than her watery eyes. Steve had tried to talk, tried to explain himself, but she had just walked away. She knew what he did, where he had went. There was no point in arguing with him, with fighting over a choice he had already made so she didn’t. Bucky wonders if she had cried after that, if she had screamed into her pillow after being betrayed by the man she loved. 

He didn’t know that an oh so familiar numbness had started to taken a hold her as she had walked away from the situation. She doesn’t remember any of the drive home-she honestly doesn’t understand how she able to drive at all. The next few days were a blur-she didn’t leave the house, hell, she didn’t even leave her bed unless she had to.

It had taken four days for it to finally settle in, for the pain to crack through and force itself through that numbness. There had been a lot of crying, of screaming during that time. Shattered picture frames, broken dishes. She kept to herself, not wanting to take her anger out on anyone as she processed everything.

At the funeral, she didn't say much to anyone. Everyone's condolences were met with a small smile and nod. She had stood in between Sam and Bucky in the front pew. Her back was rigid, her head held high. Her makeup and hair done perfectly-she had been the dutiful wife and now it seemed like she was becoming the perfect little widow. For a second, Bucky had thought she was processing this all well-better than him, at least-until Sam suddenly grabbed her hand in the middle of someone's eulogy. She had been scratching the back of her hands until they were bloody and raw, her pale pink nails discolored by garnet.

Another firework screams its way into the sky, exploding and illuminating them in emerald for a brief moment. She shifts in the grass, drawing her knees into her chest, making her look smaller than she actually is.

"I miss him. I-I don't know if I should, but I miss him. I still love him." She announces, barely loud enough for him to hear, "No matter what he did, I still love him. I-I wish I didn't, I think it might make it all easier."

"I yelled at him, both Sam and I did. He tried to justify it, wanted Sam to convince you to forgive him." Bucky confesses, his eyes still on her. She turns her head to look at him, brows furrowed, “He didn’t understand why you were so angry with him.”

“I talked to him before he-He didn’t want me to be mad at him. He didn’t want to leave with us with in the middle of fight. Didn’t want to leave it like that. He couldn’t stand it when we fought and these past five years-God, it felt like that was all we did. Everything I did wasn’t good enough fir him.” She looks back down at the ground, fingers picking at the grass, “I kept askin’ him ‘Why?’ and he couldn’t give me an answer. He told me that he loved me, but he also loved her. He acted that’s all he needed to say.”

“I know he had a family with her. Had kids, grandkids, the whole shebang. He had told me-He told me that after we fixed everything-after we brought everyone back that we were gonna settle down like we always talked about, that we could start trying and God, I knew it sounded too good to be true.” Emotion is wrapping around her neck like a noose, making her words strained as tears start to roll down her cheeks, “And I wanted it so bad. I wanted a family with him, even though things were shit and he was pushing me away, I still wanted that. I thought-I thought that finally everything was okay and I feel like an idiot for believing it.”

Her words hang in the air above them, above his grave. They weighed heavily on Bucky, forcing his shoulders down. Steve had promised her a family, a quiet life-some semblance of normalcy and had ripped it away for what? For a woman he knew less than a year? Bucky had asked him if he had regret what he did and Steve hadn’t responded. He had just changed the subject, deciding to instead talk about the quality of his hospital food.

“You’re not an idiot. You didn’t-You didn’t know he was going to do this. None of us did.“ Bucky replies, his voice just as quiet as hers had been moments before. She just sits there, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Both of them just looked at the grave in front of them, a dozen different emotions flowing between the two.

The tears on her face have started to dry. In the distance they could hear music playing, people laughing, and celebrating. They continued to sit quietly in the cemetery, the buzzing of cicadas and fireworks turning into white noise.

-

"Shall we look at the moon, my little loon?

Why do you cry?

Make the most of your life, while it is rife

While it is light

Well, you do enough talk

My little hawk, why do you cry?

Tell me, what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?

Or the Fourth of July?

We're all gonna die"

[broodybuck]

Shameful Dreams | Series Part 1

Series Summary: Steve and Bucky are each respectfully married to their wives, as any man should be in 1941. And yet, that doesn't stop Steve from having very shameful dreams about his married friend. Unexpectedly, things begin to happen outside of Steve's fantasies.

Series Tags: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes | Rated E | Tags: 18+ explicit smut, no powers au, pre-serum Steve, top Bucky, bottom Steve, secret relationship, internalized homophobia, consensual infidelity, closeted characters

[Masterpost] // [ao3 link]

"You know I'd never usually share such a thing, but I flipped a little. I wasn't expecting it, was all," Gail is saying.

Steve can overhear them from the patio. He's sitting with a beer in his hand, waiting for Bucky to get home from the factory. He must be working late tonight, Gail had said when Steve and Peggy arrived.

Now, the wives are in the kitchen already gossiping and usually, Steve wouldn't pay much attention but tonight... well, it was about Bucky. And it was scandalous. It had Steve's ears perked since he heard Gail's voice float out from the cracked window in the kitchen not far from the back patio.

"You sure you saw right?" Peggy asks, sounding uncomfortable.

"I'm sure. He was doing it... right there in the shower," Gail confirms again.

Steve shifts in his seat. His pants already tightening since the moment Gail breathlessly confessed that she found her husband pleasuring himself in the shower that morning.

And see, well. When it comes to Bucky, Steve has a very shameful secret. One that started years ago when they first met and Steve began to dream about the other man in ways that should never be spoken about. Ways that get fellas killed.

So, yes, the idea of Bucky pleasuring himself in the shower is a thought Steve had already imagined up in his own mind many times. But it doesn't fail to get him all hot and bothered now that he's being reminded of it.

"Oh my," Peggy says with absolute disbelief.

Steve smirks to himself. They act like it's a crime but Steve gets off in the shower every damn morning too. Peggy's just never caught him. Now, he knows he can't let her.

"Are you sure you've been..." Peggy tries shyly. "Been um, fulfilling his... needs."

Steve flushes hot at his wife's words. The thought of fulfilling Bucky's needs. Oh, how he wishes he could fill that role. He'd make sure Bucky was more than satiated. And he knows all men are horny, but if he was taking care of that man, Bucky would never need to masturbate in the shower. He'd make sure of it.

"Of course, Peggy. What kind of wife do you take me for!" Gail exclaims, offended.

"I'm sorry," Peggy says softly.

"It's just," Gail sighs suddenly. "Sometimes, he says he's too tired."

Steve sits up straighter, ears still raised. This isn't the first time, he's gotten a clue that Bucky might not be completely satisfied in his marriage.

He's had all these moments with Bucky too. Sometimes, they have these long, uninterrupted stares. Sometimes, Bucky flushes awfully red when Steve offers him a simple compliment. And sometimes, when their fingers brush while he passes a beer Bucky doesn't pull away as fast as other fellas do.

It makes Steve wonder if Bucky thinks these things too. Like maybe a man would know how to pleasure another man just better than a dame...

He wishes something could happen with Bucky. Physically. He thinks about that body all day long. Thinks about that mouth. Sometimes, most shamefully, he thinks about Bucky when he's with Peggy. And he's a man who can say fully confidentially that his wife is beautiful. And she tries her best in bed. But this secret has only grown inside him over the years and the more it grows, the more Steve yearns for it... for another man. These days, he can't help but use it in the bedroom. No one will ever know his thoughts anyhow.

The wives quickly quiet when they all hear the gravel under car tires approaching. Eventually, Steve hears Bucky's voice float through the windows, greeting both women in that charming drawl he always uses.

It's only another minute before Bucky steps out onto the patio with a beer in hand. Steve raises his own to Bucky and they drink. Bucky sits in the chair next to his. Steve's mind is still distracted by the confession that was shared in the kitchen. Bucky doesn't even know his wife was talking about what he does in the shower.

Steve's skin grows warm just thinking about it once more. He almost wants to tell Bucky, but he knows that won't do any good. Bucky would only get embarrassed and probably tell Gail off when they're alone tonight. Besides, if Steve can hear the ladies from here, then they could hear him too.

"Got any new tools in the shed?" Steve asks, pointing out the shed near the rear of the property.

"Don't think so, not since you've seen," Bucky shrugs.

Steve glances down at his pants. A bulge is forming, growing more noticeably by the minute. Suddenly, Steve wonders if he could make some excuse to get into the shed alone and find some relief. He couldn't possibly use their bathroom. For one thing, this is someone else's home, and mainly, the bathroom is right next to the kitchen table where their wives are sitting.

"Mind if I take a look?" Steve says before thinking it through.

Bucky turns to him with an indifferent look. "Sure."

But when Steve gets up, placing his beer down on the ground, Bucky begins to follow.

Shit, Steve thinks as Bucky walks with him to the shed. Now he's gotta pretend to look interested in tools and hide his boner.

They step into the small shed and the only light shines in from the open door and small cracks between the wood. It could be dim enough to keep his lower half concealed, Steve thinks.

He turns his back to Bucky, pretending to look over the various hardware before him. He tries to subtly adjust himself in his pants, hoping he can make things less obvious. If he could just squeeze the base then he could hold off...

"You okay over there?" Bucky says from behind him. He sounds closer like he took a few steps before asking it.

"Yeah, why?" Steve asks, not turning around. He removes his hand from his crotch.

"You're fidgeting."

"M'not."

Bucky chuckles lightly and now he's so close that his breath ghosts over Steve's ear. Bucky's taller than Steve and broader. The muscles on the guy is one of the many details always in Steve's vivid fantasies. Being crushed by them, overpowered by them, while being plowed into a mattress (ideally).

Steve tries not to shiver at the thought. He's dying to turn around and see how close they are but he can't.

Bucky's hand bumps Steve's arm and he nudges him to the side. Steve steps sideways making room for Bucky. Bucky steps next to him to look down at the wooden table laid with tools in front of them. As if it's all something fascinating he's never seen before.

The energy in the air feels different but Steve's not sure if it's real or just the blood leaving his head.

"I'm just a bit tense today," Steve says, as an excuse and rolls his shoulders back as if to prove it. He's able to turn at the same time so Bucky'll miss the front of him as he steps to the adjacent wall.

If he could just think of something non-sexual, he could get his boner to go down. He closes his eyes, trying to think of his grandmother or a clogged sink when Bucky's hand on his shoulder makes him jump.

"Sorry," Bucky says, withdrawing quickly.

"Oh no, I was just in my head."

"Thinking about what?"

Steve gulps, fighting to find a lie.

"Uh, something I overheard," Steve says.

Then his eyes widen at the wall. Why the hell did he say that? He doesn't want to tell Bucky what he overheard.

"Oh hell, what's Gail been saying now?" Bucky says teasingly.

"Nothing, um it was Peggy... actually," Steve lies.

"Something going on?" Bucky asks, genuine concern coating his voice.

Steve finally chances a glance at Bucky. He doesn't have to turn around to look at him.

"No, no... um," then it clicks. He'll switch it, Steve realizes. "I overheard her telling your wife something private about me. Something I didn't want shared."

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'll have a talking with her."

"No, it doesn't matter now. Gail already knows," Steve sighs. "It's just, I don't get why Peggy was so appalled over... over... well, I don't wanna say."

"That bad?" Bucky asks.

"Just... geez, this is embarrassing but uh, getting off in the shower."

Bucky's face stays impartial when he says it. He doesn't look shocked or disgusted. Slowly, he smiles.

"Aw, come on. We all do that, right?"

"That's what I thought!" Steve plays along. "But see, Gail was asking if Peggy was... well, keeping my needs met. She made it this whole thing like I can't be satisfied since I was doing that."

Bucky stays quiet a moment like he's soaking the information in. Then he says, "Well, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Satisfied?"

Of all the moments, Steve thought maybe... just maybe Bucky might have the same kind of shameful thoughts he does, he's never felt it more in this moment. Because any other fella would've either become uncomfortable with this conversation or made it nasty and overtly sexual. Start ranting about a woman's place serving the man... nonsense. But Bucky's not doing either. He's completely calm, almost too focused on what Steve's telling him. His gaze is intent, unmoving. And him asking if Steve's satisfied? It's not a normal thing for another man to ask.

"I... well, not always," Steve answers, his voice falling to a whisper.

Bucky blinks, swallowing, before he says, "Me neither."

Steve swallows now, his throat going completely dry. Because they're alone and he's got a boner that would poke Bucky in the leg if he turned to him.

"How do you... I mean, what do you usually..." Steve starts, his question falling off when he realizes he's got no idea what he's asking.

"The shower, I guess," Bucky replies with a breathy laugh. "But I always wondered..."

"What?"

"If those rumors were true about those underground clubs. Where men..."

"Help each other out?" Steve finishes.

Bucky nods. They're both frozen in the silence that follows. Steve can't move. He's so desperate for something to happen and also terrified of what it would mean if something did.

"That why you're fidgeting?" Bucky asks so softly, Steve almost misses it.

"Uhm..."

Carefully, Bucky pulls back Steve's elbow, making Steve turn to him. Bucky looks down at the obvious bulge in his pants.

"No one would know..." Bucky whispers. He won't meet Steve's eyes.

"No... they wouldn't," Steve says brokenly. The thought of Bucky actually touching him is almost too much to bear.

"Do you think it would help?" Bucky asks, still staring at Steve's crotch.

"Yeah."

Steve stands rigid, almost afraid to move as he watches Bucky's hands reach out and timidly open the belt, then the fly of Steve's pants. With one pull of his underwear, Steve's boner springs forward embarrassingly fast. His face reddens. But then Bucky brushes his fingers over the hot shaft and Steve bites hard on his lower lip, trying not to moan.

Bucky wraps his whole hand around him and starts with one long tug up to the head and ooh, Steve lets out a very shaky breath.

Bucky doesn't look at him. Just keeps moving his fist up and down so slow it's almost tortuous. And this is all so unbelievable and so good that Steve struggles to keep his breath steady at all.

Regardless of how badly Steve wants to draw this out and remember every second forever, he's dying here.

"Could you—" Steve breaks off when Bucky gets the message and abruptly pumps him faster.

It's all over then. Steve should be embarrassed by how fast he comes, how hard he comes, and the high-pitched moan he lets rip from his throat.

When he opens his eyes, breathing heavily, he sees some of his release got on Bucky's shirt. And as much of a wet dream come true as that is for him, he stumbles forward apologetically.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

"No," Bucky says, letting go of Steve's cock which is also dripping with his come. He turns and finds a dirty rag in the corner and wipes his hand and shirt. Like it's nothing.

Steve stands shell-shocked, just watching. How nonchalant Bucky is. It's almost like this didn't happen, but it did. Bucky had his hand on his cock and jerked him off. That really happened.

Then Steve realizes he's standing with his pants open and cock out. He fumbles to cover himself up and get redressed.

"That was... um..." Steve stammers, unsure of how to proceed.

"I'd ask you to return the favor, but uh — I got off in the car before driving home," Bucky admits, his cheeks pink with the admission.

Steve has a whirlwind of thoughts about that. One, that Bucky is hornier than he thought. Getting off in the morning, after work, maybe with his wife at night also. And two, Bucky wants Steve to return the favor, that means this can happen again.

"Well, uh. How about a rain check?" Steve suggests cornily.

He's hoping that didn't ruin the mood, but thankfully Bucky smiles.

"Yeah. M'sure I'll be good for it."

Steve runs hot from those words, his soft cock twitching pathetically in his pants.

Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets and nods toward the house.

"Our beers are probably warm."

"Yeah," Steve says and follows Bucky out of the shed.

Steve walks clumsily behind Bucky. He just had an orgasm from the man he secretly fantasizes about nightly. He won't be walking normal for a while.

And he knows all he'll be dreaming about from here on out is returning that favor until it happens.

[adelaidedrubman]

wip. w. wildfr. wipfire. whatever

h-hi. i was tagged by my friends my loves my dearests @cassieuncaged @socially-awkward-skeleton @corvosattano @direwombat to share some. some wip, thank you! i am still biting my nails about publicly sharing wildfire but. feeling empowered by spite + bullied and goaded by zak so. a widdle wildfire. warnings for canon typical violence and johnjess typical obnoxiousness

“My God —” his voice found a way to drill into her ears, garbled and drowned out by the hitch-pitched drone that lifted from her spine to pierce through every fold of her brain and make it tremble against her skull. “Is it really that easy for you?”  Her fingers curled around the coarse fleece collar of the nameless blonde man’s shirt, draping his corpse over her waist and across her back to absorb the sudden rush of gunfire from her right. She tilted her head and hunched her shoulder to keep the radio pressed against her ear as she propped herself back up by her elbows to peer over the length of her rocket launcher and aim at the peggies to her left. 

“It is,” she answered plainly, glancing back to the blurs of human forms scattered and closing in behind her to twist at the waist and fire her last few bullets in their direction, hoping they struck.  “Tell your big bwother to make his stump speeches even scawrier next time — I’m sure it’ll make the canon fodder he sends out harder to kill, if he —” she pulled the trigger to an empty clack of metal, hurrying to rip her axe from the ground to hurl at the woman storming her right without lifting her thumb, sending her voice to the depths of her chest and half-faking hoarseness before she spoke again, “if he gravels his voice a bit more.”  “I mean taking a human life,” the static of his voice grew clearer, as if the origami thin metal foil of the speakers folded tighter and sharpened to better reach her ears. “Do you never even stop to think about it? What it means to rip the earthly ties from someone’s soul and offer it for judgment to a power beyond your control?”  She kicked a leg up just in time to strike the peggie storming her from behind in the crotch, flipping onto her back and clasping her bullet shield corpse to her chest like a lovingly cradled teddy bear as she crawled sideways to retrieve her axe from the woman’s skull.  “I think a lot about what it would feel like to kill you,” she mused idly as she swung to bury the axe’s blade into the stomach of the stumbling man, then pulled back to jerk it free. “But I can’t dwell on that now — I’m good, but not do this one-handed good.” “You really care that little?” he pressed, the deep boom of aerial gunfire in the background nearly drowning him out.  “About you?” she asked, fumbling a hand along the corpse to feel for a spare gun. “Sure.” “About innocent people,” he supplied with a satisfying crackle of the speakers beneath the weight of his anger. “Not just the ones you’re slaughtering now, but the ones you’re condemning to death with your actions.” “I didn’t fucking send them out here!” she snapped, daring to sit up for better vantage, propping the dead weight of the body up beside her. “That’s on you.”  “Then I suppose it makes no difference to you that you’re killing people who only want to save you? Who have no intention of taking your life in turn?”  She rolled her eyes, hunkering behind the corpse as the next round of bullets whistled through the air — how many times had they been through this exact argument? And how many more bliss bullets could these fuckers have? “If I had the fuckin’ benefit of a stockpile of tranquilizer bullets and a massive underground torture dungeon to keep people in, maybe I’d be in the ‘take one prisoner for every ten I bleed out and turn into roadside sculptures’ business, too,” she retorted between peeking over her shield’s cover. “Until then, I’m in the ‘doing what I have to do to not get dragged back to the torture dungeon’ business.” A fading of gunfire, winding down until the only sound she heard was the harsh, steady ringing in her ears. She raised her head to lock her eyes on the source of the shots. “Oh, what a clever observation.” His overdone sarcastic laugh betrayed a manic edge. “You know who in my so-called ‘torture dungeon’ would get an absolute kick out of your irreverent wit?”

sending a mandatory tag to @henbased and no pressure tags out to @afarcryfrommymain @josephslittledeputy @florbelles @g0dspeeed @unholymilf @belorage @cassietrn @galaxycunt @8bitpizzacoupons @strangefable @shallow-gravy @roofgeese @direwombat @inafieldofdaisies @corvosattano @socially-awkward-skeleton @shellibisshe @blissfulalchemist @deputyash @confidentandgood @captastra @voidika @just-another-wasteland-merc @poetikat @stacispratt @orionlancasterr @v0idbuggy @jackiesarch @quickhacked @strafethesesinners @firstaidspray @clicheantagonist @henbased @nightbloodbix @thedeadthree @miyabilicious @simplegenius042 + like/unlike HERE to opt in/out of wip day tags!

[steven-g-rogers]

“Merry Christmas, my darling. I love you so much.”

Steve rolled over closer to Peggy and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling into her neck. "Merry Christmas, my love. Our first Christmas as husband and wife. Our first Christmas safe at home. Can you believe it?" he said, his voice still thick with gravel. "I love you so much. Every day with you is a gift."

[sjsmith56]

Two Steps to the Left - Part 3

Summary: With the serum in hand, Bucky heads to the secret lab to undergo the full super soldier treatment. Once there he meets his future counterpart who was the voice that guided him.

Length: 6 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes (WW2 and Modern), Steve Rogers, Colonel Phillips, Peggy Carter, Bruce Banner, Howard Stark.

Warnings: The elephant in the room - Steve leaving Modern Bucky behind.

Author notes: Hope you like this.

<<Part 2

⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️

Transformation

The four of them were in a staff car, Colonel Phillips, and Bucky Barnes in the back, Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers in the front, heading towards a secret installation.  In the trunk, inside a strong case, was the supply of serum that Steve and Bucky liberated from the German concentration camp. 

"You know, Dr. Zola asked to be there when we put you through the treatment," said Phillips.

Bucky looked at him, surprised.

"You told him no, didn't you?"

"No, I said we could come to some sort of arrangement," he answered, then he smiled.  "I lied.  There was no way in hell I was letting that mad scientist anywhere near you, Sergeant.  Has your voice indicated anything about their arrival?"

"No, I told him where we were going, and he said they would be there."  Bucky looked out the window.  "Thank you, Colonel."

"For what, son?"

"Believing me.  I didn't think anyone except Steve would, but you and Agent Carter did.  I just hope that the treatment you used for him works for me."

"I had my doubts about Rogers," admitted the Colonel.  "I always thought we needed the strongest, meanest sons of bitches to defeat the Nazis, then HYDRA.  But Dr. Erskine proved that you need the right man.  From what I know of you and Captain Rogers' personal history, you're two of a kind.  I think you'll be just fine, Sergeant.  I believe that you are the right man."

He nodded his head at Bucky then looked out the window.  Bucky looked at Steve, driving the vehicle and Peggy sitting next to him, looking at him.  Every so often Steve would look at her in a way that Bucky knew meant something.  They were in love.  That was certain.  He smiled then looked out the window himself.  Never did he ever think Steve would find the right girl before he did.

"Turn right at the next crossroads," said the Colonel.  "Then turn left at the sign that says William's Dairy Farm."

"Yes, sir," answered Steve, slowing down at the crossroads and turning right. 

About a mile beyond that they saw the dairy farm, with black and white cows spread out on the lush green fields like something out of a painting.  A sign on the left indicated the next turn was into the farm and Steve downshifted, turning onto the gravel road.  As he pulled into the space between two buildings a man in farmer's clothes came out of one of the buildings, a barn, approaching the window on the driver's side.  By the time he reached it he had a gun in his hand.

"Colonel Phillips, Captain Rogers, Agent Carter and Sergeant Barnes," said Steve. 

"Identification cards, please," said the man.  He looked carefully at all of them, then nodded.  "Drive inside the barn and leave the vehicle.  You will be shown where to go.  Mr. Stark is already here."

He stepped back, the gun mysteriously disappearing and Steve drove inside the barn.  They stepped out and he opened the trunk, picking up the case.  Two armed soldiers appeared from a doorway and approached them.  They waited for a moment then walked through another doorway which led to a hallway.  At the end, a pair of doors opened, and they entered what appeared to be an elevator.  The two soldiers stayed outside but closed the doors.  Slowly, the elevator descended until it opened into another hallway.  Two armed soldiers opened the doors for them, then escorted them to a single door and set themselves up to guard it.  As they entered the large lab, a number of technicians that Steve recognized from his procedure looked up then returned their attention to their work.

"About time you got here," said a loud voice and Howard Stark approached them, wearing a white lab coat.  He gestured to the box.  "Is that the serum?"

"Yes," said Steve.  "We took as much as we could, but Dr. Zola said we needed less."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't believe him," said Stark.  "Based on the figure he gave the Colonel there was no way that amount of serum would do the trick.  I suspect he wanted to be here to watch you fail then offer his expertise, making up an excuse to get Sergeant Barnes off to a HYDRA lab."

"How do you know this, Stark?"  The Colonel was not amused.

"Because Dr. Banner here knows his stuff."  Howard gestured behind them.  They turned around to the sight of a large green skinned man in glasses and a lab coat.  "They arrived just after I did, directly into the lab via something they called a portal but won't explain to me.  Dr. Banner, may I introduce Colonel Phillips, Steve Rogers, who you knew in a different time, Agent Peggy Carter, and this time period's version of Sergeant Bucky Barnes.  The modern one is sitting over there watching all of us."

It was rather amusing to see how gently Bruce Banner shook hands with all of them.  His calm voice and manner surprised all of them.  Modern Bucky came forward.

"May I introduce you to the voice in your Bucky's ear, James Buchanan Barnes," said Bruce.

Younger Bucky stared at the older version of himself.  "How old are you?"

"By the calendar year, 108 years old," replied Bucky.  "Based on my memories of when I wasn't in cryostorage I'm about 39 years old.  It's good to see you again, Colonel, Peggy ... Steve."

"What's this about Zola's calculations being wrong?" asked Colonel Phillips.  "I thought I had him telling me the truth."

Bruce smiled.  "Truth is relative to a man like that.  We had the SSR records of Steve's procedure, including the dosage and that was with the serum that we consider the purest.  Zola's serum was based on the imperfect version given to Johann Schmidt and should be considered a copy of a copy.  You lose effectiveness at each level away from the original.  The amount he calculated for you wouldn't have been enough to lock in the serum.  Not only that, but it would also have resulted in Sergeant Barnes still being susceptible to brain reconditioning if HYDRA ever recaptured him, which is what we think Zola was planning.  It's a good thing you brought extra as we think we're going to need it all.  But first, I wish to examine Sergeant Barnes, height, weight, preliminary blood work, that sort of thing."  He noticed the look on their faces.  "I am an MD plus I have seven PhDs.  I worked on a super soldier serum myself, which is why I look the way I do as I didn't get it quite right.  I'm not inclined to allow anything bad to happen to Sergeant Barnes."

Bucky looked at his counterpart who nodded and he relaxed.  He and Bruce went to another room along with a nurse for his physical examination.  Stark took the box to a team of technicians who tested the contents of one vial then showed Bruce the results.  With his approval they began transferring the contents into a series of vials that were sized to be used in the pumps attached to the radiation chamber.  As he surmised, the amount brought was barely enough.  Only two of the original vials were still unused. 

While Howard continued to work on the settings for the chamber, the Colonel, Steve, Peggy and modern Bucky relocated to where he had been sitting.  He offered Peggy his chair, which she took then leaned against the counter with his arms folded.  The Colonel noticed he wore gloves, staring at them.

"I fell from the train in my timeline," said Bucky.  "Survived the fall but lost my left arm in the process.  HYDRA gave me a new one, a monstrosity with only one purpose ... to kill.  When I finally escaped, I lost the arm in a fight with ... another individual who didn't believe I had been their weapon unwillingly.  I was given sanctuary in another country who undid the programming done to my brain and they gave me a new arm.  It's certainly nothing you would see now so you'll excuse me if I keep it covered to avoid contaminating this timeline.  Our presence here is doing enough of that."

"Why did you come then?" asked Peggy.

He smiled softly at her, amazed at how the real woman was just as beautiful as he remembered her.

"It was a lot to ask of your Bucky to believe me," he replied.  "When more of this timeline became known to us and we realized what Zola was planning, Bruce offered to come and oversee the procedure, being somewhat familiar with the details.  He felt uncomfortable coming alone, so I agreed to come with him.  Everyone here has to swear not to tell anyone of our presence."

"Why did you contact Sergeant Barnes in the first place?" asked the Colonel, his face stern.

Bucky sighed and looked away for a moment.  "Bucky will be needed to make sure Steve survives an upcoming mission.  Then both of them will be needed to join a multi-universe task force against a formidable enemy who threatens all timelines.  That's why we're doing this and it's also why we've been permitted to do it, with limitations.  That's really all I can tell you at this time.  It is for the greater good, Colonel and if it works, everything should continue as it would have, with the exceptions that certain individuals will have a different future, like Bucky and Steve, for example."  He shook his head, slightly dismayed.  "See, I almost said too much there.  Please, let's take this one step at a time and get Bucky through the procedure."

He walked away from them, relocating to another quiet corner of the lab and sat on a stool, avoiding eye contact.  After a few minutes he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.  Colonel Phillips huffed a little, then asked a passing technician if there was something to drink.  The man led him to an office, pointing out the bar against the wall.  Steve and Peggy stood where they were watching the hustle and bustle of the people in the lab, while occasionally glancing at modern Bucky.

"He carries a great burden," she said.  "Whatever he went through in his timeline is with him still."

"Yeah," replied Steve.  "I'm just surprised that he hasn't said anything about me in his timeline.  What happened to me?  I would have thought with something this important I would have been involved, yet other than saying I was there, he hasn't said anything else."

She shook her head.  "You could ask him, but I don't think he would answer.  He's changed from the man he was.  It's sad, really."

As the time passed, they both relocated to the office, deciding to relax in the more comfortable chairs there.  They each had a drink, sipping it quietly.  Finally, modern Bucky appeared at the door.

"They're ready," he said.

The other three got up out of their chairs and came into the lab.  Younger Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed portion of the radiation chamber.  His feet were bare, his shirt was off, and he wore a pair of loose hospital shorts.  Bruce was attaching some small strips to him, placing them in certain positions on his body.  He turned slightly as the others approached.

"I brought some modern technology with me," he said.  "These will monitor the changes he is undergoing inside the chamber from the moment the serum is injected through the application of the Vita-Ray radiation.  It will tell me if he has achieved maximum serum efficiency so that we don't accidentally overdose him with the radiation.  No offence, Howard, but your dials aren't the most accurate.  It was the technology of the time, but you could just as easily have killed Steve when you dosed him during his procedure."

Stark raised his eyebrows slightly.  "How will those little strips tell you all that?"

Bruce reached inside his lab coat and brought out a small device, calling it a tablet computer.  Immediately, Howard put his hand out wanting to examine it, but Bruce held on to it. 

"Sorry, it's too soon for this type of technology and it only works because it is configured directly to these strips.  All I can tell you is that it will be about 50 years before society begins to develop this."  He looked at the younger Bucky with concern.  "It's going to hurt, a lot.  I know that based on what my timeline's Steve told me about this procedure and what Bucky told me of his.  Your treatments were spread out over months but were always accompanied by electroconvulsive therapy, which was applied at a level that we now consider barbaric.  But that was HYDRA.  They didn't care about hurting you because they were always pushing your limits to see how much pain you could withstand and how long it took you to recover from it.  It turns out that you withstood a lot.  The difference here is that the moment the monitors show that you are at maximum I'll signal to cut the radiation.  If at any point before then if it's too much for you, you can stop it, but we can't repeat it after.  This is an all or nothing procedure.  Do you understand?"

Bucky nodded then he smiled and offered Bruce his hand, shaking it.

"Thanks, Doc.  I wish more doctors were like you.  You explained everything and I appreciate that." 

Bruce smiled at him and stepped away.  Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder and nodded.  Peggy touched his hand and smiled at him.  That left modern Bucky standing there.  They had barely talked since their arrival. 

"You can do this," said the older version.  "Bruce is a good man, and he won't let anything bad happen to you.  When you're done, you and I will go someplace quiet and have that drink.  I brought something special from the future that has a bit of a kick.  I think you'll like it."

"Okay, I have lots of questions," answered the young sergeant.  He looked past him at Steve and Peggy.  "Do they get married?"

He was puzzled at the flicker of pain that appeared in his counterpart's eyes then the older Bucky smiled.  "Yeah, they get married.  If you get through this and the next part, they can get married sooner."

He took the glove on his right hand off and shook hands with his younger version, then joined the others behind a barrier with a small window of thick glass at eye level.  A technician came, placing a pair of dark goggles over Bucky's eyes, then helped him lie down.  A series of pumps, attached to the larger vials they transferred the serum into lowered themselves onto Bucky's body.  There was one on each side of his chest, each arm above the elbow and below the elbow, and one on each of his thighs.  The lights were dimmed in the lab, except for a spotlight on the chamber.  Bruce, wearing the goggles around his neck, stepped forward and called out to each station, asking if they were ready to proceed.

"Bucky, we're going to inject the first batch of serum then switch to the second batch.  It's going to burn like hell but it's important that you stay as still as possible.  You good?"  Bucky gave him a thumbs up.  "Ready for first infusion of serum in three, two, one.  Activate the pumps."

The pumps began injecting Bucky with the first batch of serum.  Immediately, he could feel the increase in temperature in his skin then deeper as the serum was absorbed by his muscles.  The burning sensation started just before Bruce called for the second batch to begin.  As the serum was forced into his body, the sensation of burning alive increased exponentially and Bucky braced himself, clenching his jaw.  He became aware that the moving parts of the chamber were shifting into position to enclose him.  Desperately he filled his mind with everything and anything he could think of; baseball statistics, the plot of the last movie he saw, dancing with different girls at different dances.  When it became too much he yelled, and Bucky's voice sounded in his head.

"Steady.  They're just applying a hose to the chamber to increase the pressure while the radiation is applied.  You've got a couple of minutes more to do this and you can see it through."

The sound of a gas entering the chamber was followed by a sensation of being pressed into the cradle that held him then the chamber began shifting to an upright position. 

"Radiation being applied now.  Keep your eyes closed." 

Even with his eyes closed and wearing the goggles Bucky could see the light as it filled the chamber.  The pain levels amped up even more and he yelled for all that it was worth.  Then the light powered down and he could hear Bucky's voice in his head.

"It's done.  Bruce said you peaked exactly where he expected, and he stopped the procedure.  Just relax as they shut everything else down."

Breathing deeply, Bucky kept his eyes closed.  The pumps were pressed uncomfortably into his skin, then were suddenly released and raised as he felt the cool air of the lab flow over him.  He opened his eyes, but the goggles were so dark he couldn't see out of them.  Then a hand took them off and he blinked at the bright light focused on the chamber.  A chorus of murmurs audible to him were jumbled at first, but he could hear individual words then phrases as his ears adjusted.

"Perfect."

"Unbelievable."

"My goodness, he's magnificent."

"Buck?" It was Steve's voice, spoken softly, and he looked to his friend.  "Hey, how are you?"

"Not sure.  It feels strange, like everything is magnified."

"Yeah, your senses have increased.  You've grown as well."

Bucky looked down, noticing first of all that his legs were incredibly muscular but were in proportion to his now definitely longer limbs.  Steve offered a hand to him, and he noticed his forearm was also more muscular and the veins in his arm more defined.  When he stepped out of the chamber, he realized he was back to being taller than Steve again and couldn't help but laugh at that.  As he looked down, he was surprised to see that his physique was leaner in the waist but also more muscular in the chest and shoulders, and he definitely wasn't a welterweight anymore.  Bruce stood in front of him, making him feel small again but he smiled at the doctor.

"I'm good?"

"Yeah, perfect response," said the green-skinned man.  "The level of serum was enough, and you absorbed all of it.  In fact, you should already be hungry so let's get some measurements down, and the basic tests, then get some food inside of you.  How do you feel?"

"Good, like I could jump like Superman." 

"We'll test that, along with your strength, flexibility, speed and endurance, but I'm pretty sure you and Steve are pretty equal now."

Bucky went with him back to the examination room with a nurse following them.  Howard was already distributing glasses to everyone and filling them with scotch, finishing with the Colonel, Steve, Peggy and modern Bucky.  He raised his glass to them.

"Here's to Sergeant Bucky Barnes, America's second super soldier.  He'll need a catchy name and a promotion.  Captain Brooklyn.  Captain Manhattan.  The Brooklyn Boxer.  We'll come up with something.  I'll have to come up with a new uniform for him and find another shield.  If only I had more vibranium."

Bucky shook his head and looked at Steve, raising his eyebrows.  The blond smiled, sipping his drink.  Then he gestured to Bucky, and they stepped away from the others.  Nothing was said at first then Steve cleared his throat.

"Can I ask you a question?"  Bucky nodded.  "Why are you doing this and not me?  Am I not alive in the future?  I mean, I just thought if the threat was as bad as you say I would be part of this ...."

Immediately Bucky sighed then wished he could take it back.  He took several moments to choose his words. 

"You were around but then you made a decision and now you're not.  I don't want to say more with so many ears around because it is need to know.  I promised Bucky a talk and a drink with a kick.  I think you should join us so I'm only saying it once, just to you two."

Walking away without looking back he rejoined the Colonel and Peggy.  Steve looked at him for some time, wondering what happened in the future that made him ... leave.  His thoughts were interrupted by the younger Bucky's return to the lab, dressed in fatigues.  Two technicians and Steve were to accompany him to the surface to test his speed and strength, then he would return to the lab for the remaining tests.  While he was gone, Bruce and Howard spoke about some improvements that could be made to the chamber and serum delivery system.  They returned to the others and the older Bucky insisted that the existence of the two remaining vials be kept secret, known only to those staff who were there in the lab, to continue the work of Project Rebirth.

"If HYDRA, Army Intelligence or the CIA gets wind of these vials they'll try to steal them," said Bucky.  Noticing their confusion at the term CIA he explained further.  "The OSS became the CIA.  They'll become more secretive over the years, establishing their own network of spies that aren't always going to be doing the right thing.  There's one other thing."  He looked at Bruce who nodded his agreement with Bucky's disclosure.  "You need to find another soldier.  His name is Isaiah Bradley, a sergeant, and he's part of the other super soldier program that will be run by Army Intelligence and the CIA."  Colonel Phillips frowned.  "Yeah, they'll tell you it doesn't exist, but it does, using black soldiers as Guinea pigs for a serum that should never have seen the light of day.  He's the only survivor and he deserves to be treated with respect.  He was sent after me in 1951 and almost killed me.  They kept him imprisoned for 30 years, supposedly for the security of the country but it was their way of keeping a good soldier in slavery.  Promise me you'll find him and make him part of the SSR as an equal super soldier to Steve and Bucky."

"I promise," said Phillips, solemnly.  "You really can't trust some people to tell you the truth, can you?"

"No sir, you can't.  Give your trust out sparingly.  I'll give you a list of names of military personnel and others with a HYDRA connection before we return.  Remove them from power and make sure they don't do to this timeline what they did to mine."

As they waited for the younger Bucky to return, the older version wrote that list down.  Bruce and Howard kept conferring, with the former refusing to answer many of the latter's questions about future technology, saying he would just have to wait or discover it for himself.  After about an hour, Steve, younger Bucky, and the two technicians returned, appearing enthusiastic about the results of the physical testing.  A meal was laid out in a conference room, which they all took advantage of, then Bucky presented the list of names to Colonel Phillips, allowing him, Peggy and Howard to leave and begin their investigation of the people he identified as HYDRA supporters.  Closing and locking the door behind them, he brought out four glasses, then produced a small flask.  Bruce smiled.

"You're sure you want to give them that?" he asked.  "Once it's gone, they won't be able to get anymore until you know who shows up."

Bucky shrugged.  "They can save it for very special circumstances.  Might cut through any misunderstandings that might arise when they meet him and show him the flask."  He looked at his younger counterpart and Steve.  "This is Asgardian mead, once made on another planet until it was destroyed, and their surviving people took refuge on Earth.  Their champion is a Demi-god named Thor, and yes, he's the Norse god.  He'll become a friend of our planet and at some point, will stand with you to protect it against a being who would destroy the universe.  Take it sparingly, as even the stuff they make on Earth has a kick, and you will definitely get drunk if you have too much."

He poured out a finger's worth in each glass then, then took the smallest of sips, watching their reaction as they picked up their glasses.  Bruce downed his in one gulp, explaining it had little to no effect on him.  Cautiously, Bucky and Steve took a small sip, reacting positively to it then looked at the two modern men for what was coming next.

"In a few weeks, you're going to attack the base where Red Skull is," began modern Bucky.  "I wasn't there, so I only know what was filed in the mission reports.  Us being here may change things but ultimately what has to happen is Bucky, you have to make sure that Steve survives.  I don't know how you're going to do it because the chance of both of you being on the aircraft is unknown."

They looked confused, so Bruce told them what the history books in their timeline said about the attack on Red Skull's fortress, the battle in a giant aircraft between him and Captain America, and the decision by Steve to ditch the airplane into the Arctic to keep the bombs on board away from populated areas.  Then, he told them how Steve was thought to have been killed in the crash but the discovery of the wreckage in 2011, led to the unthawing of his body, and the miracle of him waking up with all of his attributes and faculties intact.  From there they told them about the formation of the original Avengers and their defence of Earth from alien invaders. 

"So, I survived to help the future against these beings," stated Steve.  "Won't they need me then, in that future timeline?"

Modern Bucky and Bruce looked at each other, then Bucky shook his head.  "No, because there's more than one universe.  In fact, there are many thousands of them, and the being who was originally behind that invasion, a Titan named Thanos, exists in many of them.  He used another being for that first invasion but when the Avengers defeated the invading force, he began to look for other ways to get what he wanted from us.  When he did finally invade us himself, we lost, and he basically wished away half of the population of our universe.  I disappeared for five years, along with trillions of others, all randomly disappearing.  When Steve and the remaining Avengers found a way to undo that, an earlier version of him found out and appeared, only this time with the goal of destroying our universe completely and rebuilding it the way he wanted, without anyone challenging him, especially the Avengers.  This time we were successful, and the lost people reappeared.  There's another version of Thanos who found out that we defeated him and he's rallying all his versions, in many timelines.  We're doing the same, rallying all of the super soldiers, all of the versions of Thor, Bruce, other past and future members of the Avengers, trying to bring them together sooner.  If Thor is successful, you could be meeting his counterpart in this timeline soon.  Another champion called the Black Panther will approach her grandfather Azzuri and try to convince him to make himself known to you.  He's the King of Wakanda, and the vibranium in your shield was stolen from there, so it may be awkward, but he has super soldier abilities.  There are others, and if they begin coming out of the woodwork then it will be you two who will connect with them and form the Avengers that you'll need to defend this timeline.  A soldier named Isaiah Bradley will be needed but he hasn't become a super soldier yet, so you have to wait until he is and make sure he's part of your group.  Even if the danger appears over, you still need the Avengers because HYDRA wasn't defeated.  They just hid in plain sight, although the list I gave the Colonel will root a good portion of them out.  There will always be a need for someone to protect the planet and you two are the beginnings of that.  But first, Bucky, you have to make sure that either Steve doesn't go down with the aircraft, or you find a way to get to him after he takes it down.  We can give you the coordinates of where to find him as it's common knowledge in our time.  I wish I could tell you more about the how, but at least you have the advance knowledge and the strength to make it happen."

Both younger men nodded their heads and sipped their drinks then Steve cleared his throat.

"What happens to me in the future?  You said I'm not there."

Older Bucky's jaw clenched, and a muscle twitched slightly until he breathed out.

"After all that you had been through, starting with the realization that HYDRA was still around, plus other things that really don't matter now, you chose to return to the past so that you could have a normal life.  I'm not going to lie and say I was okay with it because I wasn't.  I was still a mess after all my years of being a prisoner and unwilling weapon of HYDRA.  You gave up a lot to help free me, and I thought you were going to help me get used to living in the 21st century, then you just left and went back to 1949, back to Peggy.  You didn't look for your younger self, you didn't look for me, you told no one about HYDRA.  The person who provided the portal says it was because there are rules in time travel, rules about changing the past and it was explained to that Steve that he couldn't interfere, so he didn't."

"But you're here," said younger Bucky.  "You're changing this timeline.  Why is that permitted?"

"Because Thanos has already destroyed several timelines and those whose job it is to keep the timelines going aren't strong enough to deal with him, because he's attacking them too.  He's going to destroy everything they pledged to protect, and they need our help.  So, we were permitted to make changes, like making sure Bucky didn't fall off the train, and putting him through the full procedure now so that HYDRA won't be able to change him, ever.  Whatever consequences those changes make in your universe will be dealt with by that authority.  When you're needed, you won't get much notice.  A portal will open wherever you are and whoever comes through will say these words, "Time to go."  You drop everything, get ready, and when the portals reopen you go into them.  If it appears that you won't be successful in that timeline, another portal will allow you to return and the original members of that timeline will destroy it, taking that Thanos with them before he can do it."

"And if it's our timeline that is under attack?"  Steve looked at all of them.  "Who do we call to bring in help?"

A portal opened at that moment, and a woman with a bald head walked through, ignoring it when it closed behind her.  Her appearance was otherworldly, as she wore intricate robes the colour of saffron, but her face was both young and old at the same time.  She gazed kindly at all of the men before speaking.

"That would be me or my successor," she said, calmly.  "My name isn't important, but I will know before you do and will have raised the alarm.  James is the emissary of his time and when you two join the battle in another timeline you will be amongst many versions of yourselves, as well as other versions of Bruce, and anyone else who is either an enhanced or regular human who have the skills and desire to help protect that timeline.  No world will be alone to fight against Thanos, I can promise you that.  Until then you live as normal a life as you can.  You can marry, and have children, as they will inherit your abilities and will carry on your legacy, and you prepare for when you are needed."

"You're a wizard," stated the younger Bucky, a look of wonder on his face.

A ghost of a smile appeared on the woman's face.  "A sorcerer but it's just semantics.  Even we have been challenged by this threat to all universes, but we will do our part along with others to stand united against it."  She turned to the older version of Bucky and Bruce.  "It is almost time for you to return to your original timeline.  I will let you take your leave of the others then open a new portal for you."  She looked at the younger pair of men.  "Until I see you both again."

With a shifting of her hands, she opened a portal and disappeared into it.  Pushing the flask towards the two, Bucky and Bruce stood up.  Before they got to the door, Steve called out one more time.

"I'm sorry," he said to the older Bucky.  "I'm sorry for leaving you behind."  He looked at both the younger and older version.  "You know I love her."

"I know both versions of you did," said the older man.  "You didn't come to the decision lightly.  I was gone for five years with all the others, and you blamed yourself for that.  You thought we were all dead, just as you thought I died when I fell from the train and thought it was your fault.  I think you just reached a point where going back seemed to be the only chance to be happy.  It was good to see you again, but it still hurts."

He opened the door and left without looking back, followed by Bruce.  The Colonel, Howard and Peggy were still examining the names on the paper that modern Bucky prepared for them but left that task recognizing that the two men from the future were preparing to leave.

"We've told Steve and Bucky what they need to know," said modern Bucky.  "They can fill you in."  He turned to Peggy and smiled softly at her.  "You're just as beautiful as I remember but you always had eyes just for Steve.  Marry him, as soon as you can.  Your bond is strong, and it will bring him home."  He faced the Colonel.  "You're a stubborn old man but that stubbornness helped win a war.  Now the war here is against HYDRA.  Don't ever give up that fight."  Finally, he faced Howard Stark.  "When you get married and have children, make sure you make time for them.  They'll be just as much a legacy as your inventions will be.  Money isn't everything."

Bruce just shook hands with all of them, then he and Bucky stood away from the others.  The circle of sparks appeared out of nowhere and the two of them entered it as soon as it was large enough.  When they left, the others were silent, each of them contemplating what they had learned.

Part 4>>

Series Masterlist

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[bitter69uk]

“The doorbell rang, I opened the door and there she was – my dream-come-true, four-hundred pounds of raw talent. I carefully invited Jean in, and the first thing she did was goose me to totally unnerve me. She asked for a drink and got it. She laughed and said she had no objections to nudity (“I’ve got a lot to show, honey”), would certainly dye her hair blonde (“Big deal. I’ve had blonde hair twice before”) and asked for a special chair that wouldn’t break when she sat on it. After listening to her give a hilarious reading from the script, we went over the contract, I gave her an advance on her salary, and it was settled.” / John Waters recalling his first encounter with Jean Hill when she auditioned for his film Desperate Living in the book Shock Value (1981) /

Born on this day: John Waters’ majestic “soul diva” Jean Hill (15 November 1946 – 21 August 2013), unforgettable as Grizelda in his 1977 bad taste classick Desperate Living. Pictured: Italian poster for Desperate Living (which was re-titled Punk Story in Italy!). The fierce Hill is centre, surrounded by fabulous co-stars Liz Renay (as Muffy St Jacques) and Mink Stole (as Peggy Gravel).

[peculiarparasol]

My Hamilton Review

So I had the ability to go see Hamilton in Dallas recently and oh god, it was lovely! Everyone was wonderful and a few interesting takes in this production really stood out to me in the most lovely ways!

The cast I saw was:

Hamilton- Blaine Alden Krauss

Burr- Deon'te Goodman

Eliza- Kendyl Sayuri Yokoyama

Angelica- Lencia Kebede

Peggy/Maria- Milika Cheree

Lafayette/Jefferson- Jared Howelton

Laurens/Phillip- Tyler Fauntleroy

Mulligan/Madison-Eddie Ortega

Washington-Carvens Lissaint

King George-Paul Louis Lessard

HIGHLIGHTS!:

Okay, right out the gate, a lot of the cast had more R&B voices, including Hamilton and I genuinely loved this. Washington and Angelica had the most beautiful control when it came to their voices and it was just gorgeous to hear them every time they were singing. And Lissaint as Washington had some booming growl to his voice that just absolutely grabbed and held onto your focus during Right Hand Man and just the most perfect soul like riffs during History Has Its Eyes On You and of course One Last Time.

The biggest differences in character portrayal were Hamilton and Burr, but I really liked these takes.

Krauss played Hamilton as angry. And I don't mean like quick to anger, but really has angry moments with everyone in his life, including anger towards Eliza when she explains she wrote to Washington that she was pregnant but not Alexander. But it also created some beautiful 'calm down' moments as well. When Washington calls him back, he plays Alexander as hesitant to leave Eliza while she's pregnant, even bends down to kiss her belly before he leaves. Just a beautiful touch. He played young, scrappy, playful Hamilton so well, I wondered if he'd sell the older version in Act 2 and he really did, he slides into it slowly. Makes his voice quieter, more gravelly as the descent starts and it's just so beautiful the way he progresses.

Goodman plays Burr as reserved, but you can feel this constantly simmering resentment towards Hamilton the whole way. This is less charismatic than Leslie plays him, but again, it works for Goodman's portrayal. He still gets loud during the right parts, goes full tilt during The Room Where It Happens . But his anger, his emotions are cagey, like you are waiting for the last straw to break the camels back and its goooooooood when he finally snaps in Obedient Servant. He makes you wait for that moment all musical and it delivers in the last two confrontation songs.

Howelton also has a slightly different portrayal of Jefferson. He has the same physicality and charm that Daveed has, but he has this wonderful deep gravel to his voice that made him sound older, and he leaned more into the limp in What'd I Miss? Daveed always seemed like his Jefferson was around the same age as Hamilton, but Howelton acts and sounds like he is the appropriate decade older and it really works, I constantly thought he was looking at Alexander like a yappy puppy he had to deal with and I really loved it.

Lessard as King George chewed on every song and scene he was in and I giggled at parts of the songs I've never reacted to before. XD He was a delight and we all cheered every time he returned to stage. I would love to see this man as the King every time if I could!

Goofy Notes:

EVERYONE besides Washington and Angelica are shorter than Hamilton in this production. I about wheezed when Jefferson and Hamilton square up in the first Cabinet Battle and Jefferson had to crane his neck to look up at a fucking smirking Hamilton, who had to look down at him. It was like a hilarious au reality and it made me giggle every time they stood close enough to notice. Eliza also only came to Hamilton's shoulder and he had to bend fully at the waist to kiss or hug her, but that man dipped her like a fairy tale prince to kiss her in Helpless. I bought that man loved her!

Stage Direction Differences:

The most differences in stage direction all happen in Take A Break, and I ate up this entire song because it was so different. It's all about the same till we get to the first 'take a break'. Hamilton buries the letter from Angelica. Not just covers it, he pulls various papers and opens a book to start writing in ontop of it, boy knows he is doing wrong in the letters. He's adorably affectionate with Phillip, softly affectionate with Eliza's plea for him to go with them.

Then Angelica shows up, and it's not the soft/nervous 'hi' Lin does. It's a giddy 'hiiii' and arms spread wide with 'gimme' hand gestures before Angelica even gets to him, wraps her up in his arms, etc. The back and forth between Eliza, Angelica and Alexander is very playful after that as well. During the 'tell this man/tell my wife' exchange, they stage Angelica in between Eliza and Alexander, having the married couple do a playful game of telephone with the eldest Schuyler. Alexander even taps Angelica on the shoulder before the 'Angelica tell my wife' line. It's fun and dangerous. Another change is how Alexander responds to the sisters making their final plea for him to go with them. Lin has Alexander panic pull away from Angelica first. Krauss lets that anger/frustration show here instead. He snaps at them, emphasizing the losing his job line here and storms away. I really loved this scene. It boths leans heavy into the playful family and the emotional affair between Angelica and Alexander.

I might have thrown in my lot for some Lucky Seats to see this cast again before they leave...no shame!

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

Tagged by: @clicheantagonist​ @mxanigel and @trench-rot (Thank you all <3 <3)

Tagging: @direwombat​ @roofgeese​ @strangefable​ @adelaidedrubman​ @florbelles​ @shallow-gravy​ @josephslittledeputy​ @derelictheretic​ @confidentandgood​ @nightbloodraelle​   @inafieldofdaisies​ @turbo-virgins​ @voidika​ @aceghosts​ @madparadoxum​ @marivenah​ @inquisitors-grave ​ and anyone else I might have missed or who has something to share, consider this an open tag

I’m currently struggling with deciding on the order of some chapters which is also affecting my ability to write, so I can’t say exactly when this is coming but the cannibalism for Kit is on the horizon

Big old content warning for this snippet: cannibalism, blood, graphic violence

The sun took forever to rise now, Autumn was reaching its death knell, when the frozen hands of winter would shake the leaves from the trees leaving their skeletons behind, and the snow would begin to fall. The crisp air had morphed into hard packed ground dusted with frost, and she could no longer rest against the bars of her cage without feeling the metal bite through the layers she wore, eating into her. She wrapped her arms around her chest, keeping her core warm, she’d been sleeping for what felt like days now, and while the other cage occupants around her continued to, she sat there quietly, immobile.

Hibernating. 

The first crows of the ravens let her know that it was at least morning, though she had no idea what time. The mist that rolled along the ground was whisked away as the first of the Peggies that called the Vet Center home began their chores. It had to be 5:30. She was learning their schedules with the time she’d spent there. Jacob was probably awake in his office now, if he slept at all. A part of her hoped he hadn’t. She wanted him to suffer just like she was. 

The Peggie bristled at a blast of cold air as he carried the metal bowls of food that the “recruits” were served with each day. Their one meal. He was bleary-eyed, stumbling towards the cages, almost dropping the bowls a time or two on his way over. He must have been new.

Fresh meat. 

He walked past the cages with sleeping denizens inside, opening the doors and sliding the bowls along the dirt and gravel towards them, shutting the doors behind him and locking them once more.

Finally reaching her cage, he opened her door the same way he had the other captives. But to his failing, he didn’t notice the pale eyes that stared out at him from the dark. Turning to leave, she moved faster than she had thought possible running on fumes without food. The only sound before she struck was that of the wind whistling behind him as silent footsteps fell. 

That wasn’t protocol. He wasn’t supposed to open the doors. He was meant to slide it underneath.

He’d learn his lesson today.

Tossing him to the ground, she pounced on his back, her fingers digging into the shoulder blades as her mouth dove down towards the side of his throat. Her teeth gripping down, clenching her jaw like a vice, biting down until she could feel the meeting of hard bones as her teeth started to grind against each other. Ripping her head to the side like a man-eating tiger, she tore the skin loose from him like it was elastic.

His screaming set a fire inside of her, like a dinner bell for the feral monster that hid beneath the surface. He had entered her den, stepped foot in her territory. But he was no Daniel, and there was no angel here to lock her jaws shut.

Blood pumped from his open wound as she spat out the chewed up skin and dove back in once more, aiming for the muscles and the tendons and veins. All the red that hides below the surface. She could drown in the amount of blood she was shoving her face into, her nose and mouth drenched with it. The tang of copper filled the air, blanketed her lungs, and overwhelmed her senses entirely. 

The man gulped, gurgled and groaned as the last remaining remnants of his life slipped from him.

Flashlights shone back and forth in the dark gloom of the November morning, as half a dozen men were awoken by the mad howling and screeching of the man pinned to the ground below her. A feral growling slipped from her as the light hit her face still buried deep inside his flesh. Piercing eyes looked up at the suits of red and black, faces darkened before the dawn, but she could smell the fear in the air. 

His men parted like the red sea, and there he was, teeth already displayed, not bared to attack or as a sign of dominance, it was appreciation. 

Boots crunched through gravel, and she instantly recognized the gait, the weight behind each step, the jingle of dog tags becoming louder, clearer. Instinctively she pulled away from her catch and stepped back, slowly rising to her feet. Her breath streaming out in a cloud of condensation with each heavy huff of her lungs. 

The lioness giving her mate the first pick of the carcass.

Her lips were painted red, the entire lower half of her face was coated in crimson. She looked more like some wild thing raised by wolves than any human being. 

Behind him stood his shuddering lamb of a pet. Staci’s eyes stared at her glassy as the blood dripped from the tip of her nose and off the point of her chin.

“Jesus Christ,” Staci whispered, the words trembling out of him into the cold mountain air.

“Well, Deputy, I see you got your own meal this morning.”

Her cage door sat open, swinging slightly in the breeze, hinges squeaking. But with the sight before them no one seemed to notice, and she didn't care. She wasn't trying to escape. She was enjoying her feast when she was so rudely disturbed. 

Jacob smiled down at her, something dark in his eyes, his own personal satisfaction at seeing her break, at seeing that will of hers to live win out, showing past his hard exterior.

She licked her lips, and as the blood slid down her throat she could feel something inside of her quiet. Her violent tastes quenched, at least for a time.

[direwombat]

❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜ -> for the apology prompt 🤍

Ahhhhhh tysm~! this prompt screams the aftermath of syb finding augustine living that cult life in joseph's compound :') so here's the first draft of that I guess lol </3

Tw for a few references to suicide ideation and syb uh...not being in a good place emotionally

Water splashes as Sybille stomps her way through the muddy puddles of Joseph’s Compound, storming towards the gates. Jacob had to escort her from the chapel, physically restraining her as she kicked and screamed curses towards Joseph for how he’d hid her brother from her and indoctrinated him into the Cult. She’d nearly killed him then and there; nearly wrapped her hands around the preacher to wring his skinny little neck.

She should have killed him. Heard John’s voice whispering in the back of her head urging her to, that mindless, animal wrath held back only by Jacob’s strong arms, and even he had struggled to hold her back.

Her hands are balled tightly into fists, her fingernails digging so hard into her palms that she’s drawing blood. She stomps past a number of Peggies and none of them try to hinder her departure. They follow her with their haunting gazes as they watch their enemy, the Deputy, walk away a broken woman, each of them coming to the dawning realization that their victory over the County may be closer than anticipated.

She makes it through the gate, past the chain link fence, numbly navigating her way back to the main road that bisects the island. The near constant ringing in her ears builds in both volume and pitch. It pierces through her head, making her feel dizzy and unsteady on her feet. But she can’t stop. She lurches along the dirt road as it winds and twists, dragging her feet like they’re encased in concrete.

She needs a smoke. She needs some whiskey. She needs to kill something – feel the blood on her skin and watch the life drain from its eyes.

She needs a bullet in her head.

When she reaches the shoulder of the road, she stumbles into the gravel, taking a moment to catch her breath now that there’s at least a marginal distance between her and the Project. But when a large, calloused hand wraps around her wrist, she instinctively whips around to punch her assailant. The cartilage of their nose crunches underneath the force of her knuckles. She strikes so quickly that she doesn’t even realize who she’s hitting until it’s too late.

Jacob reels back, releasing his grip on her in favor of clutching at his face. Blood trickles between his fingers as he hunches over for a moment, recovering from the unexpected burst of pain. He lets out a grunt, resetting his nose as he straightens back up. “I deserved that,” he groans, blinking away the water in his eyes.

“Ya damn right, you did,” she growls, cradling her bruised knuckles to her chest and shooting him an icy glare. “Ain’t you already got your pound of flesh?” she seethes. “The fuck more you want from me?” 

“I…” he hesitates and the longer he looks at her — the longer he stares into the rage blazing behind her eyes — his shoulders begin to sag and his mouth twists apologetically. He looks like a child who’s been caught misbehaving. Like he’s finally realizing exactly what it is he’s done. “I never meant to hurt you,” he mutters quietly.  

Her eyes go wide, and her jaw drops in utter shock. “You…You never meant —” she scoffs a bitter laugh, “— you never meant to hurt me?” She stares at him, shaking her head in disbelief before her expression hardens. She points a finger at him and stalks forward with her teeth bared in a snarl. “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Need I remind you of the original nature of our relationship, hm? How you sent people to hunt me down, and when they proved incapable, you hunted me down your damn self. You drugged and kidnapped me, strapped me to a chair and kept me in cages and started…” Her fingers claw and flex before balling into tightly clenched fists. 

She trembles in anger. Her face goes red as she futilely holds back a building scream. “You forced your way into my head to try to make me kill Eli,” she shrieks. “You turned me into a tool, Jacob! A fuckin’ tool!” Her voice cracks, and rage washes through her and she storms forward. With outstretched arms, she gives him a forceful shove. “And now I find out that you kidnapped my brother and gave him to Joseph to use him as a bargaining chip.”

She swallows thickly and sucks in a shuddering breath before leveling him with a frigid stare. “And you have the gall to look me in the face and say you never meant to hurt me?” Her eyes narrow and her jaw clenches when he doesn’t respond. He just stands there, staring at her with sorry eyes. “Bullshit,” she spits. “Bullshit, you ain’t mean to hurt me. You’ve been tryin’ to hurt me from the damn start!”

 He has the courtesy to look ashamed of himself, at the very least. 

Tears burn at her eyes, and for the first time, she doesn’t have the strength to hold them back. The dams break loose and nearly two decades worth of tears burst through. They flow down her cheeks, leaving clearly defined trails amongst the dirt and grime clinging to her face.

“I trusted you! I let you in! I thought we was the same and you fuckin’ betray me!” she screams. “I hate you! You should’ve killed me! You should’ve fuckin’ killed me!” She lunges forward to shove him again, only to pitch forward into his chest. Instinctively, his arms wrap around her. Whether it’s to restrain or comfort her, she can’t say, but the second his arms close in to hold her, squeezing her tight, she goes limp.

All the fight leaves her body, and he cradles her while she clings to his shirt, burying her face as she sobs into it. His hand comes to stroke her hair and he leans down to press soft kisses to the top of her head. “I know, honey,” he murmurs. “I know.”

She has no idea how long the two of them stand there on the side of the road. No idea how long he shields her quivering body from view of the occasional Project truck that passes by. Even now, despite everything, he protects her. He helps hide her, giving her as much privacy as he can while she breaks down. She sobs and wails out into the night – pathetic, emotional, weak – and he rocks her gently, whispering apologies all the while.  

Not once, does he give any sign of letting go.

Not when she begins to struggle against him, trying to pull away.

Not when her knees buckle and he’s the only thing keeping her from falling to the ground.

 He’s the only thing keeping her from crawling back to the grave Faith had dug for her and meeting the same grim fate as her Daddy.

He knows this.

And he knows that he’s the one to have pushed her towards it.

[beautifulwhensarcastic]

One line, one fic

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.

I was tagged by the wonderful @theawkwardterrier 🥰

Restless (Peggy/Steve)

Each time Peggy leaves the infirmary, Steve's there. Leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed and a stormy look on his face.

A statue of brooding.

Old Blood (Peggy/Steve)

Steve carefully tilts the cup so she can sip and Peggy wraps her fingers around his wrist.

Coefficient of friction (Bucky/Peggy)

Though she was the one who turned his heavy ass to the side before he choked on his own vomit, Peggy knows she wasn't much help in his sobering process.

I knew nothing but shadows (Peggy/Steve)

For years she believed they're alike in their history, but they couldn't be more different.

Tournament of shadows (Peggy/Steve)

Focusing on making sure most of her body is covered, Peggy doesn’t notice right away the blade in Steve’s hand.

Corroded legacis and forgotten swords (Arthur/The Mage; King Athur: Legend of the sword)

Among black gravel and industrial smoke there was no place for grand memories of green, fruitful lands and shiny armors. No place for honour in piles of manure.

New York Solstice (Peggy/Steve)

„No.” He answered simply. „Now come here. You can have jealous fits and a bagel at the same time.”

Moon in the lining of your skin  (Bucky/Sharon)

She hopes Steve kills Barnes, for she fears what could become of her otherwise.

Man in the night (Peggy/Steve)

A few years ago her gaze alone would make Steve pause and stammer out an apology, but he grew insufferably cheeky, too skilled in recognizing when she's really pissed and when he can allow himself to push a few of her buttons.

Merger (Peggy/Steve)

"Cupcakes, champagne and sex," he licks his lips with an approving hum, "-think you figured the meaning of life, Peggy."

I’m tagging: @founderofshield, @bonusholegent, @cafecitowriter, @lunetta-suzie-jewel, @littlereyofsunlight, @doctorhelena, @formerlyir, @thesokovianaccords, @notlucy

[monotropauniflora]

I'm actually so fucking strong and brave for not turning into Peggy Gravel every time I get ma'am-ed in a grocery store.