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cookinguptales · 6 years ago

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You know, I wasn’t going to write about this, but I just got the most insulting message about all this — so screw it, here I go:

I talk a lot about accessibility problems in daily life, but not typically about the unmitigated hell that is air travel. I have been insulted, touched without my permission, accused of faking, asked intrusive medical questions, gotten homophobic lectures from attendants I couldn’t get away from, been instructed to walk multiple times — and two of my personal wheelchairs have been broken.

All that said, the worst service I have received in my life has been from American Airlines. They consistently screw me over. They “forget” to preboard me. They “forget” to bring me a wheelchair. Heck, once I requested a bathroom break and I came out to find my wheelchair assistant gone. I had to sit there in the Cincinnati airport alone, frantically TWEETING AT THE AIRPORT, until a gate attendant took pity on me and took me down to baggage herself.

But if you really want to know how bad flying with them is, let me describe my experience flying with them a week and a half ago for a work trip. (In other words, I was not allowed to choose my airline.)

I arrived at the Philadelphia airport. I asked for assistance several times and was told to sit down in a waiting area and someone would be by shortly. I sat there for 45 minutes, at which point the person who told me that came by and it became immediately apparent that they’d forgotten about me. 20 minutes later, I finally got my wheelchair. In the end, I almost missed my plane.

The attendant, when he came, did not introduce himself or really talk to me at all. When we got to security, he refused to touch my belongings (attendants need to put our belongings on the conveyor because, y’know, we can’t get up there) and demanded I get up and do it myself, something I’ve literally never encountered before. In the end, he wheeled me over to the belt and made me strain to put my things on it because he was acting like my belongings were diseased.

When he rolled me up to the scanners, he did not ask me about my ability to walk, just demanded I get up. I requested a non-metal cane (because my own had been put on the belt) and he got very huffy about it, but another TSA agent heard me and gave it to me. After I finally got through the scanner, he did not bring the wheelchair over to me so I could sit in it, and I was forced to walk across the room to him. Yeah, it hurt.

I was handed off to like… six different attendants throughout the course of my trip to the terminal. At one point, I was forced to walk to get onto a shuttle bus. The wheelchair was not loaded on with me. When we arrived, there was no wheelchair waiting. I was told to wait on the bus — but then the driver started pulling away with me trapped on the bus. The driver was behind glass so I had to literally bang on the windows of the bus so someone would notice and stop the bus. Instead of bringing the wheelchair to me, I was expected to climb off the bus, walk inside, and get a new one. Wow, accessibility.

I finally had to demand a bathroom break because no one asked me if I needed to eat/drink/pee and I’d had to hold it for two hours at this point. I was told to walk to the bathroom. After I refused, more huffing, but someone got a wheelchair to walk me over.

FINALLY, TIME TO BOARD! Psych, I got outside, was told it was a tarmac boarding (something that had not been told to me ahead of time) and that if I’d wanted assistance, I should have preordered an aisle chair, something that’s typically only necessary to request if you’ll need a wheelchair onboard. I have never had to request one and, again, didn’t know it was a tarmac boarding, so I didn’t request it. I was repeatedly asked if I could walk “at all” and if I was sure I couldn’t just walk up. At this point, I was so frustrated that I literally started to cry. In public. They finally took me up.

Note: this was the ramp I’d been expected to walk up. As I was hobbling through the section too thin for the wheelchair, the woman grabbed my cane to “guide” me. I almost fell down.

When I got to Cincinnati, my tweets had apparently been heard. The manager of Prospect, the company AA uses for wheelchair assistance, was waiting for me. He was very nice! He gave me his card! The attendant told me to ask for him by name! I was not happy, but somewhat pacified.

I get to CVG three days later to go home. There is no wheelchair desk at check-in. I see another woman in a wheelchair, so I ask where she got it. Her daughter “found it”, and the woman had already missed her flight because she hadn’t been able to find assistance in time. I talked to two other women who just started walking despite the pain they were in.

I finally figure out where to request a wheelchair. A dedicated desk? No. A passing employee? No. I was supposed to stand in the check-in line. I got upset, so someone at another airline suggested I just cut the line. That was what I had to do, and I felt like a dick.

This line, in fact:

Waited, waited. Finally got a wheelchair. It was not the man I’d been told to request. Whatever. He was nicer than the man at PHL, but I still had to go through a genital pat-down at TSA. (As in, “please spread your legs wider for me”.) Yeah, that happens almost every time when you’re disabled. Fun times. Once I showed signs of being upset and they made me do it twice, without any kind of support to hold me up. Note: I am a sexual abuse survivor.

Finally get to the gate and the attendant leaves. I am in full view of the agent desk. It starts getting close to boarding and no attendant in sight, despite me specifically telling them I’d need help boarding. I got another passenger to go up to them and ask them for help. I was told an attendant would be coming soon. It came time to board, and I was left across the room. I literally started shouting across the room for help. The gate agent looked me in the eye and told me that she wasn’t ignoring me, that I’d be preboarded. SPOILERS: I wasn’t preboarded.

This meant that when I finally got down to the entrance of the plane, I had two options. I could go wait in the line that forms in the aisle while people are putting their baggage up. This is very painful for me, so instead I waited at the door for the people in front of me to sit down. A large line formed behind me because they still kept calling groups to board and again, I felt like a dick. I got to cry in public again.

Boarding in CVG, I didn’t have to do a tarmac boarding, but I still had to disembark that way in PHL. This time, the flight attendants called ahead to make sure I’d have an aisle chair. Those are super fun, by the way, you’re strapped in like Hannibal Lecter and wheeled backwards. :’)

I demanded a bathroom break once we got off. Note: I say “demanded” because no one ever freaking asked because god forbid they treat you like a human. You’re usually expected to just sit there at the gate for a while until a new attendant can take you to baggage, but I’ve taken to asking if they can leave me over by the bathroom instead because I’ve almost wet myself. (I often cannot get to the toilet on the plane.) So anyway, I was taken to a companion restroom. The door didn’t close all the way. Yeah, it was completely broken. This wasn’t a stall. It was a COMPANION RESTROOM WITH A DOOR. If the door doesn’t close, the entire terminal can see in. Instead of taking me to another stall, the attendant just “stood guard” outside the door. So that was super-fun and not nerve-wracking at all.

The attendant then proceeded to get lost in the airport and didn’t believe me when I told her the right way to go. It’s not like I’ve ever flown out of my own home city before or anything, wow.

Now, this was worse than usual. I often have problems with all airlines (Delta was the one that kept smashing up wheelchairs, shoutout) but American is just By Far the worst. I usually fly Southwest because I’ve had far fewer problems with them at PHL (and I don’t have to pay extra for a seat that’s accessible for my needs) but sometimes AA is the only airline that’ll take you where you need to go.

I make this post for two reasons. Number one, I have to fly American again in about a week (again, I did not choose this) and I’m almost sick with worry. I was so stressed out and pained after the last trip that I came home, took very strong painkillers, and collapsed for like a day.

The other reason is that AA finally got back to me about my complaints from last week. They accused me of not asking for assistance ahead of time (I did; I even talked face-to-face with a manager to order accommodations) and snottily told me that I could have asked the gate agent for assistance. So number one, they only answered one of the MANY issues I had. Number two, they implied it was all my fault — despite me doing everything I was supposed to do. Number three, despite the many broken accessible areas, despite the poor treatment by employees, they still hold firm to this “you need to order things ahead of time or you’re screwed” line.

So I ask you. What if you don’t know those policies? What if you’re a child or a first-time flyer? What if you have a short-term injury and aren’t used to this? What if, like that woman in the wheelchair who missed her flight, you’re elderly and ESL and deeply confused?

The pain I am put through, the embarrassment and dehumanization and physical strain, is awful when I fly. To be blamed for it is worse. But the worst knowledge of all is that I am privileged. I am white. I am young enough to know how to complain on social media. I know my rights. I know to leave several hours in case I am mistreated. Like that old woman, like the women I saw walking to their gates, there are so many people who are not in that position. They will be victimized.

A manager approached me at CVG to apologize as I landed. No one will apologize to those women. They will be victimized. It’s not right how disabled people are treated at airports, and frankly, it’s not legal. But they know that our voices are not listened to and so they know that they can get away with it. Do you know how AA found me from my angry tweets? All they had to do was look at the DM history. I’ve sent them so many complaints over the years. They haven’t changed. They don’t care.

And as much as my body hurts after experiences like that, my heart hurts more. I’m so tired of people not caring.

I know this is a long post, but they messed so many things up that it had to be long to list them all. Please feel free to share this post -- or even better, let American Airlines know what you think about it. God knows they didn’t listen to me.

#this is a long post but they did a lot of things wrong!!!#ableism #disability #air travel #american airlines #long post #please this one is really important to me

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careyodonnell · 4 years ago

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Thanksgiving In Space

It’s Thanksgiving next week. I’m stating this here so I can see it in a sentence. I’ve had to do that a lot this year! Write down the day of the week, the date. Numbers and days floating around like a lava lamp; a pink glow in the far end a big room with no lights. Thursday, November 26th. Thanksgiving will happen and then it will be over. That is my prediction. I am an oracle.

Right now, Thanksgiving feels like a threat. The virus is as bad as it’s ever been and only getting worse. The holidays are not suggested. They are not recommended. We are being warned. People will still gather, though. Families will still meet in secret, like they’re having an affair. No photos, please. A celebrity wedding. You can’t stop people from gathering. We love to gather. No one gathers like humans. The only difference now is, gathering could mean you die. But what’s Thanksgiving without gathering? To gathering! I keep imagining large families standing around a Thanksgiving table, as as long as a city block - everyone’s arms and legs stretched out like starfish. Here we are, together at last.

I will not gather this year. I won’t see my family. I will miss them.

I keep thinking about 4 years ago, the first Thanksgiving I was sober. I’d been sober since August. I was still living in New York. My parents were still living in New Jersey, where I grew up. I spent most of my time at home out walking. Walking, walking, walking. ‘What do I like to do in my free time?’ I thought. ‘I walk.’ My parents’ neighbors would peer out at me through their window blinds. “There is he,” they’d say. “The Walking Gay.” An urban legend.

It was warm out. The sky was yellow and grey every day. I watched my dad and brother-in-law play football in the backyard from my bedroom window. My mom got an inflatable turkey for the front yard. She said she’d always wanted one as a kid, and never got to. This year, she was changing that. It felt inspiring. But I didn’t want to be happy for her. I didn’t want to be happy for any one that Thanksgiving. I was miserable. I wanted to stay up after everyone went to bed and drink beer and wine till I was dark matter. I wanted to snort scalding lines of cocaine and picture them as airplane vapor trails in the sky and be certain I can hear my skeleton rattling. But I didn’t. I walked. I smoked cigarettes in secret. I went to AA meetings in town and saw parents of kids I knew growing up. I didn’t say hello to any of them. I didn’t speak at the meetings. I said my name, said my day count. I left as soon as the meeting was over, back back to my mom’s car, to drive around South Jersey. To drive to 7-11. To drive by the farm I drove by after I came out to my parents, and screamed out the window at.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, my family drove 15 minutes west, into Philadelphia, where my mom had signed us up for an afternoon segway tour of the city. I didn’t understand why were doing a tour of a city we’d lived outside of our whole lives. I’d announced a week in advance that I would not be participating. It was unfathomable to me. I felt unable in every sense. Everything was impossible then. At that time, I was sending my sponsor photographic evidence that I was eating breakfast every morning - getting on a scooter and winding through city streets felt like war. But I agreed to go. I wanted to be at war.

Twenty minutes into the segway tour, it started drizzling and I started to cry. I took every car honk personally. We weaved in and out of car-packed streets, passing by the brick homes of Old City. The house where Betsy Ross made her flag. I decided on that segway that I hated Betsy Ross. Betsy Ross could go to hell. We floated into South Philly, into the Italian Market. I was lagging behind my family. I couldn’t bear to be around them. They all seemed so comfortable in their helmets. Gliding with ease on these monstrosities. I felt betrayed by them. I felt betrayed by Betsy Ross.

My body felt hot. I saw a sports bar ahead. Straight guys in Patagonia pullovers, drinking. Yelling. I wanted to burst into flames right then and there, and zoom past the pullover bros on my segway, right up to the bar and black out. But I didn’t. I softly sobbed. My dad slowed down and fell behind to check on me. I told him he and my mom were ruining my life. He kind of nodded and drove up ahead. My sister and brother-in-law looked back at me, laughing. I yelled at them them not to look at me. They turned ahead.

Right then, I remembered a time when I was a kid, and my family was on a Duck Boat tour in the Boston Harbor, and I had to pee. I told my parents and begged them not to tell anyone. They told my aunt, who told the Duck Boat captain, and the next thing I knew, he was instructing the other passengers of the boat to look away. My family stood with their backs turned, guarding me and laughing. I peed into the wind and cried in shame.

Back in Philly, we were almost done the tour. My mom glided next to me. We were silent. I told her I hated segways and would never ride again. She told me I was annoying. I started laughing, tears still pouring out. As soon as I laughed, I felt desperate to stay on the segways forever, bundled with my family in the rain.

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skullrock · 4 years ago

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callout post for “mia” @lovesongmp4

some of you know Mia as the person who makes those funny edits of characters from the hit Netflix original “Stranger Things” talking like they’re British or maybe as the person who “exposed” me earlier. what you don’t know about her is that she is a LIAR. she has been lying to you all the entire time and I am so sick of it. there’s a lot of layers so let’s get into it

1. Identity Theft

Mia tries to claim that I’m Frank Reynolds from the hit Fox Network show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. this claim is absolutely based on nothing but conjecture. here’s a picture of me to prove I’m not him

I look absolurely NOTHING like frank, as you can see. however ...

Mia Lovesongmp4 is Charlie Kelly from the hit Fox show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” don’t believe me? here’s some pretty damning evidence

as you can see Mia repeatedly refers to herself as Charlie or being played by Charlie. This is because SHE IS CHARLIE. you can also see how she has delusioned herself in2 thinking I am Frank Reynolds when I’m not (see above).

Mia has also told me she huffs paint and likes milk steak and HATES knees. if you have knees that means she hates you too. YES, YOU. here’s the proof -

this also CONFIRMS her identity as Charlie as an actual picture of her is RIGHT THERE

I don’t know who Mia Lovesongmp4 is but I’m certain she’s a nice person who does not deserve to have her identity STOLEN like this.

2. Demogorgon Kin

Mia has said it herself - she’s demogorgon kin. She goes outside and rolls in the dirt and eats MEAT and THREE MUSKETEERS - one of the worst candy bars on the market. this is disgusting - she’s literally killed people before.

3. She’s British

map of Britain for reference

Yep, you heard that right - she’s from Britain. You thought her silly little “britishified” (not a real word, “Mia”) posts were a joke. Nope ! Mia herself is British. I don’t need to elaborate why that’s bad

4. Liar

Mia has actually told me to my face I’m right. Proof-

This single handedly proves that this post is factually correct and I’m right (like usual!!!!!!)

5. Misc Claims

Mia ships [REDACTED] and single handedly ruined my life (this part of her post is true). She’s made me almost pee my pants from how funny she is. She bullies me all the time and admits it and even makes memes about it. She’s too funny for her own good. She is so nice and caring - what the fuck? She’s the bestest friend I’ve ever had and I’d marry her tomorrow - gross!

6. Closing statement

I’ll let the jury decide on this one, but I think I’ve proved my innocence. I’m not the bad guy - Mia is. Mia has ruined my life and has slandered my name, dragged it through the mud. She made me love her bc of her charm and grace and good takes. She is a GOOD PERSON and I love HATE HER. I cannot get a job because of her post. I’ve received 563 hate mail messages in the last half hour because of her. My life is RUINED. Well, it’s time to ruin hers. I hereby decree that MIA LOVESONGMP4 IS CANCELLED.

#han talks #lovesongmp4 #we are so fucjing sTUUUUPIDDDD i love us

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1026

Do you like bacon? I’m not as wild about it as I used to be, but I’m still definitely into the whole put-bacon-on-everything schtick and I have no problem trying out novelty items that put bacon in donuts, or oatmeal, or cake, or whatever it is haha.

Have you ever wished for something to come true and it did? I mean, yes. It’s ranged from something as simple as “I wish it rains today,” to something as big as wishing that the person I like liked me back.

Do you like Rammstein? I’m familiar with the name but I’m not necessarily a fan.

Do you know a friend of a friend? Yes. I used to drink with Angela’s friends from arki. We never ended up being close but they were always great people to have a few drinks with.

Do you smile for no reason? I usually smile for a reason.

if somebody paid you a million dollars to get a green mohawk would you? Sure. I only stay at home anyway and that makes this whole thing not that big of a deal, honestly.

Ever had a BLT? Did you like it? It’s too basic a sandwich for me, but I wouldn’t turn it down if it were the only option available. I’d still remove the tomatoes, though; I never liked those in my burgers or sandwiches.

Are you in College? Not anymore; I graduated a few months ago.

Have you ever been to a State Fair? We don’t have those here, first of all because we don’t have states haha.

Do you like Youtube? I enjoy a number of YouTube channels and I certainly visit the site everyday, but I don’t like the way the corporation itself runs their website. It’s since become very different from what YouTube used to be.

If so whats your favorite channel? At the moment it’s Good Mythical Morning, but I also have a number of other subscriptions like BuzzFeed (for their Worth It series), First We Feast, Try Guys, PewDiePie, Anthony Padilla, Anna Park, a couple of channels dedicated to pro wrestling, some eating ASMR channels, among others.

Do you enjoy compulsively cleaning electronics? Can’t say I do.

What is your favorite small dog breed? Are beagles considered small dogs? I love them.

Do you smell bacon cooking? Nopes but I do have a dark chocolate macadamia cookie from Starbucks beside me that I can faintly smell.

Have you ever bitten anything for any unknown reason? What was it? I like biting on straws, but that’s about it I think.

Do you like the movie "The Master Of Disguise"? I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

What is the closest thing to you thats red? A paper bag under my desk that holds all the artsy stuff I’ve bought over the years, like my coloring books and paintings.

Have you ever gone into a toystore just to play with the toys? That’s always made me feel like a freeloader haha, so I never go to toy stores just for that purpose. I’d sometimes play with whatever exhibits they have, but I make sure to go through the different toy sections too.

When was the last time you went through a Mcdonalds Playplace? Maybe when I was 5 ot 6 maybe? I went to Burger King’s playground way more often since we dined there more. Also, there were always fewer kids so it was more fun to play there.

Do you have an annoying dog? Cooper’s a beagle, who are notoriously big balls of energy, and so there are days I just can’t keep up with his energy and for those moments I do have shorter patience with him. It’s really not his fault, though.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? I was never into comic books. I tried for a long time because my two favorite wrestlers are into them, but just couldn’t jump on that train.

Do you like kids pop-up books? Loved them as a kid but I was never obsessed enough to have them for my own. I was content reading pop-up books in the school library.

Does anybody else think bugs are cool and interesting? I’m sure there are tons of people out there, but not me.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate.

Do you own a pair of striped socks? I don’t think so, no.

What is the most random thing in your bedroom? An inflatable pig.

In a normal conversation do you slip out Latin? LOL no. I don’t think I’ve done that before, unless I was singing something in Latin on purpose.

Can you sing? No. I’m not tone-deaf, but I’m not anywhere near decent either.

If so, what is the highest note you can reach? -

Have you ever been to the cream cheese capital of the world? I don’t know which one that is.

Was this survey random? Enough for me to have a good time with it, yes.

Have you ever been in a parade? I’ve been to several Pride marches if they count.

What is your mothers, mothers maiden name? I don’t actually remember haha, so I wouldn’t be able to share it anyway. It’s a very Chinese-sounding name, though; that much I can share.

Do you have a different hairstyle? No. I just have bangs, which a lot of people already have.

Am I annoying yet? I don’t feel annoyed, so you’re good.

Do you like soybeans? I haven’t had actual soybeans. < Same, but I’m sure I like food products that have soybeans in them or are made out of soybeans.

Do you press buttons just to see what they do? Hahahahahahahaha yes that’s me, I’m that person with the restless fingers.

Do you still play pokemon? I never got into the video games because I was never any good at strategy-based games, but I did play Pokemon Go for a while especially when I was in freshman year of college. Overall, I was mostly into the anime.

What is your favorite pokemon? Jigglypuff.

Have you ever put blue streaks in your white cats hair? I have a white dog, but I wouldn’t do this to him even if you gave me dog-friendly dye. Just not my preference.

Are you blond? Nope.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? No.

Are your nails painted? If so, what color? If not, do you like nail polish? They’re never painted. No, I personally don’t see the appeal of nail polish for myself but you do you.

Are you awesome? I’ll let other people be the judge of that.

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Wasn’t it BJ? Anyway, I liked him the most, then Barney. I found Baby Bop way too whiny.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I just go there to look for surveys. I don’t actually try out the other features.

Does any key on your computer and or laptop stick? No.

Does fire excite you? Fuck no lmao, I’m terrified of fire.

Have you ever sung in a choir? Never.

Do you go to church? Until March this year, I had attended mass every Sunday all my life. When Covid hit, we started watching YouTube recordings at home. So yeah, no escape.

Have you ever had a theme (pirate, ninja, civil war) day? Like, in school? Yeah we had a themed day in high school once. I forgot what the actual theme was but I remember going as Lara Croft. In college, we used to go with color-coordinated outfits for Valentine’s Day, e.g. people who had dates can wear red, those who are single can wear black, those in complicated relationships can wear brown, those who had crushes but can’t have them can wear yellow, etc. It wasn’t an official rule, of course, but it was always fun for those who chose to join haha.

Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Nopes.

Have you ever been to Philadelphia PA? No. It has an amazing reputation for being a passionate wrestling city though; it’d be cool to go there and see a local show or two.

Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot? He’s not unattractive, but I just never had a crush on him.

Do you think Twilight is over-rated? At some point I think it was, but it also got (and continues to get) so much hate that I think that has since been able to balance out the initial overrated-ness of it.

When was the last time you where sick? what did you have? I had a UTI in May, which I never would’ve known if I didn’t take a urine test because all I got was a high fever that never went away. Peeing was never painful for me during that time and my kidney region never hurt either.

What is your favorite number? 4.

Look at your toes. Sure.

If you are a girl do you hate girl drama? Idk what you mean by that. I never grew out of liking gossip, though.

If you are a guy do you hate girls who prolong the drama? -

ZZZ, im tired....are you? A little, but I have coffee so I might stay up for a bit because it’s Fridayyyyyyy.

Favorite indie music group? alt-J.

Have you ever pet a monkey? I don’t think I have.

Have you ever ridden a camel? Nopes.

Have you ever punched somebody? Never to hurt someone.

Do you like cupcakes? Love them.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Depends on what I’m consuming. I like orange chewy candies, but I like lemonade juice too.

Can you sing opera? Not a chance.

Touchpads or Mouse's? Touchpad.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Nope, I haven’t.

#survey #surveys

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thewritingstar · 4 years ago

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1-200 we're all in quarantine so got nothing to do. Might as well ask pls

oo anon you were gonna ask anyways lol. But I did this hella quick during a zoom.....

1. What is your middle name?

-Rose

2. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name?

-Star

2. Do you have any allergies?

-Penicillin (not really thou), but no

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?

-Lower back

5. How well can you write in cursive?

-Its readable

6. Name one item on your bucket list.

-Going to all the Disney parks in the world

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?

-haven’t even been on a real date

8. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?

-prob like five years ago and its jeans

9. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant?

-nothing like I have to dress up but maybe once a year??

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

-rules don’t apply in text

11. Can you drive stick?

-hell no

12. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

-japan because I think it would be so cool

13. Nutella or peanut butter?

-NUTELLA

14. At what age did you have your first kiss?

-...............ahahhahahh

15. DC or Marvel?

-DC. Harley Quinn owns my ass

16. Have you ever hosted a wild party?

-my parties consist of drinking capri suns and playing cards against humanity and Mario kart

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

-...ooof haven’t read a book in a while

18. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with?

-my mom

19. Have you ever donated blood?

-I was apart of a cancer study so I used to donate my blood (and pee) to science

20. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?

-8 I love to decorate but I’m not allow near the Christmas trees

21. Coffee or tea?

-vaniila iced lattes or raspberry ice tea own me

22. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?

-Vanilla bean frap with extra vanilla

23. Last show you binge watched?

-currently its assassination classroom

24. Dogs or cats?

-puppy’s

25. Favorite animated Disney character?

-Jessica Rabbit, Dumbo, Rey, Tamatoa and Guedo

26. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself?

-mostly baking for my family

27. Favorite winter activity?

-Staying inside

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?

-probably

29. Can you blow a bubble gum bubble?

-yes

30. How early in the year do you start celebrating Christmas?

-my mom plays Xmas music year round

31. What emoji best describes your life right now?

-the wilting rose

32. Are you fluent in more than one language?

-nope

33. What is the longest you’ve ever kept a New Year’s resolution?

-I don’t make them

34. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Did you gain any of the weight back?

-I’m on a diet to gain weight and its not going well

35. Are any of your grandparents still alive?

-only on my moms side

36. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions?

-hahaha my face gives everything away and I can read people pretty well

37. Have you ever gotten a commercial jingle stuck in your head?

-EDUCATION CONNECTION! Get connected for free

38. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was over?

-Nope

39. Do you consider rapping singing?

-rapping is in its own ballpark...its why its called rapping

40. Does your home have a fireplace?

Yep

41. Favorite non-chocolate candy?

-sour gummies worms

42. If you could have only one superpower, what would you want and why?

-oooof ummmmmm maybe teleportation

43. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

44. Do you listen to any religious music?

-noooooooooo

45. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?

-I hate soda

46. What was your ACT score?

-do not do me like this (21)

47. Rice or quinoa?

-rice

48. From 1-10, how good of a driver do you consider yourself?

-like an 8

49. Do you like horror movies?

-nope

50. How easily do you cry?

-uh depends on what it is

51. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where?

-no but I want some

52. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

-being dumb and quoting tik toks at target

53. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit?

-not very well

54. Can you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones?

-no

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

-middle of the road

56. Last CD you bought?

-Folklore by Taylor Swift

57. Do you like roller coasters?

-yessss but they cant be extremely tall

58. What day of the week is laundry day for you?

-uhhh depends on when I have time

59. Have you ever played spin the bottle?

-uh maybe once but I was in fourth grade and walked away

60. How long have you known your best friend?

-I’ve known my bestie for 16 years (met when we were 4)

61. Can you eat using chopsticks?

-yes!! I usually eat my Chinese food with them

62. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of?

-no because I need to get a case for my iMac and iPad

63. How often do you say y'all?

-every fucking day. Y’all is my go too

64. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

-cookie dough, pralines and cream, blue raspberry sherbert, vanilla, coffee

65. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?

-my longest relationship was like three weeks in fourth grade with my friends cousin who I saw twice

66. Star Trek or Star Wars?

-haven’t seen either but prob Star Wars cause r2d2 is cute

67. How good are you at math?

-ehhh I’m okay at stats

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?

-used to do the plays in middle school :)

69. How often do you read/pay attention to your horoscope?

-not much my horoscope but just my sign in general

70. What is the shortest your hair has ever been?

-just above my shoulders

71. Have you ever broken any bones?

-my big toe

72. Do you like to go fishing?

-nooooooo I went fishing once and it pooped on me

73. Do you believe in evolution?

-of course

74. Favorite costume you wore for Hallowen? How old were you?

-I was perry the platypus…. 19

75. Real or fake Christmas trees?

-fake!!! WHO WANTS TO CLEAN THAT UP???

76. How many pillows do you sleep with?

-usually 1-2 but like 5 in the winter

77. Do you live in an apartment or a house?

-House rn

78. How many of your friends are of the opposite gender?

-in my close circle, one but I do have many boy homies

79. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

-many times

80. How long have you been at your current job?

-four weeks

81. What kind of car do you drive (year, brand, model, color)?

-white car

82. How flexible are you?

-not super but mama can bend

83. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?

-haven’t even started one

84. Phrase you say the most?

-“I’m uncomfortable” “Y’all” “I would let J.D from heathers…..”

85. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?

-no but I wish

86. Do you own any homemade clothing?

-not that I know of

87. Do you like fast food?

-yessss

88. Have you ever given anyone CPR?

-nope

89. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube?

-I fixed my moms glasses yesterday with a video so she wouldn’t have to spend a shit ton of money

90. Describe your sense of humor.

-if Always Sunny in Philadelphia and “vine comp that butters my eggroll” had a baby

92. Favorite cereal?

-no

93. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show?

-no

94. Have you ever gotten a TV theme song stuck in your head?

-Sugar, spice and everything nice, these were the ingredients…….

95. Do you believe in ghosts?

-indifferent

96. Do you think there is life on other planets?

-hell yeah

97. Have you ever given money to a street performer?

-yep

98. Your deepest fear?

-lets not go there

99. Pancakes or waffles?

-waffles but I don’t even like them that much

100. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?

-yep, my friend circle dates back to elementary

101. From 1-10, how good of a dancer do you consider yourself?

-7

102. How much of a patient person are you?

-I can be extremely patient. Once waited three hours in a dressing room with my friend and I didn’t have a phone

103. Do you know your IQ?

-no but its prob god level

104. Do you eat meat at all?

-mama loves meat

105. Do you own any clothes from a garage sale or a thrift store?

-I think so

106. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market?

-yess my mom used to take me to flea markets all the time

107. Have you ever quit a job?

-early this year

108. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

-many times

109. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over and over again and enjoy just as much each time?

-robots to ratatouille

110. Do you or have you ever worn glasses?

-just sun glasses

111. Have you ever skinny dipped?

-when I was like 6

112. Are your birth parents still together?

-yep

113. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?

-not that I know of

114. Favorite type of cookie?

-chocolate chip or the sugar cookies with the pink frosting on them (I’m a whore for them)

115. Have you ever been broken up with?

-nope

116. How often do you smile when getting your picture taken?

-most of the time

117. Have you ever accidentally dialed 911?

-yes I have and I was 6 and bullied for it for years by my uncle even though my cousins tricked me into doing it

118. Oldest memory?

-throwing a chair at a kid in preschool for stealing my cookie

119. Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank?

-nope

120. How often do you snort when you laugh?

-uhhhh a lot

121. From 1-10, how good of a singer do you consider yourself?

-5

122. Favorite Disney song?

-uuuuuuhhh Shiny, See the Light, Why Don’t you Do Right, Show Yourself

123. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

-hopefully in la

124. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

-I’m an advocate

125. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?

-I think so

126. Name one thing you wish people would stop posting on social media.

-fascist, racist, homophobia stuff

127. Last musical artist you saw live?

-Jonas brothers

128. Credit cards or cash?

-cash cause I feel like I didn’t spend anything

129. Favorite fandom?

-the powderpuff girls or fairy tail

130. What is your astrological sign?

-Aries

131. Have you ever been fired from a job?

-nope I’m a good noodle

132. Any hidden talents?

-I can do the cinnamon challenge

133. Can you surf?

-nope

134. What motivates you to do well in life?

-the fear of failure

135. Your worst physical feature?

-my acne

136. From 1-10, how much are you like your father?

-mehhhhhhhh like a 4

137. How lucky do you consider yourself?

-I’m a pretty lucky person ngl

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasently surprised.

-when I won a coffee maker at my senior grad night raffle

139. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?

-nope

140. What type of shoes do you wear the most?

-my converse

141. Favorite summer activity?

-getting coffee

142. Favorite song to sing in the shower?

-any Taylor swift song

143. Have you ever lived with a roommate you did not get along with?

-my parents sometimes

144. Have you ever lived on a farm?

-my grandparents owned a cherry farm when I was little

145. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?

-tumblr is my diary

146. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

-Always Sunny, The Office, Gotham

147. How often do you get mad at yourself?

-constantly

148. Have you ever gotten any stitches?

-only in animal crossing (he’s so cute)

149. Have you ever been hunting?

-no

150. Favorite YouTube channel?

-Jenna marbles, try guys, mukbang edit channel, drama channels

151. Have you ever had a pet besides a dog or a cat?

-I had a mouse once

152. From 1-10, how well do you work with others?

-9

153. Are you friends with any of your exes?

-I don’t got exes

154. Apple or PC?

-I have an Apple Mac rn but I think I loved my pc so much so I’m getting used to the format

155. Do you collect anything?

-what don’t I collect? Funko, pins, so much stuff

156. Have you ever seen any Broadway plays or musicals?

-I saw Newsies and A Music chorus

157. Any missed opporunites you wish you had taken?

-I’m not too sure

158. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

-yes

159. Do you have a pool at your house?

-nope

160. What is the longest you’ve gone without sleep?

-like 24 hours and it was hell

161. Last thing that made you laugh?

-a meme 20 sec ago

162. Disney or Nickelodeon?

-Disney

163. Name one celebrity you wish was still alive.

-Billy Mays (Oxyclean dude)

164. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother?

-maybe a 6

165. Your best physical feature?

-my hair

166. Earbud or earmuff headphones?

-earbud

167. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?

-..hmmmm sometimes I think it would be cool but I’m pretty content with being a girl...

168. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ear lobes?

-my nose

169. How often do you wash your hair?

-every other day usually

170. Showers or baths?

-I love a good bath but I take showers more

171. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

-noooo but I wanna be

172. Bottled or tap water?

-bottle

173. What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?

POWERPUFF GIRLS

174. Any guilty pleasures you’re willing to discuss?

-watching glee

175. Favorite video game?

-Mario kart

176. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight?

-nooooo why are there so many questions about kissing

177. How many of the United States have you visited?

-four, ive passed over a few more in a plane

178. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?

-yes

179. Have you ever gotten a surgery?

-no

180. Your least favorite food?

-cheese

181. From 1-10, how competitive are you?

-depends. I’m like a 6 but I can be pushed to a 10 when motivated

182. Do you like wearing hats?

-only a snap back occasionally

183. How much of a jealous peron are you?

-ehh not really

184. What was your SAT score?

-900-1100 (stop nationwide testing doesn’t work and I didn’t learn eveything)

185. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show?

-no

186. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military?

-my cousin

187. Snowboarding or skiing?

-I don’t do snow

188. What celebrity would you most want to play you in a movie about your life?

-jack black

189. Have you ever been a Boy or Girl Scout?

-hell no

190. Have you ever dyed your hair?

-many times

191. From 1-10, how good of a cook do you consider yourself?

-7

192. You have just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

-this cursed site

193. How many things can you do with your weaker hand?

-a lot

194. Were you involved in any academic clubs in high school?

-honors i guess

195. Have you ever played hooky from school?

-like twice

196. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies?

—-not with my parents

197. Do you root for any sports teams?

-bold of you to assume i do sport

198. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

-pee

199. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which one would you choose?

-a lizard

200. Tell something about yourself most people don’t know.

-uhhh ummmm (I have a tik tok with 7.5k followers)

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clarkeysbog · 5 years ago

Text

The Breyer's Little Sister - Chapter 2: Flight or Invisibility

masterlist

At lunch, Brittani sat with her brothers as she always does since they say she's not allowed to sit with Freddy, or as they put it, the crippled kid.

She overheard Freddy ask Billy, "Flight or invisibility, if you had one superpower. Flight or invisibility what would you pick?"

Brittani Mae Breyer has heard this question so many times, and the explantation as to why everyone chooses flight.

"Everybody chooses flight. Y'know why?" Freddy asks.

"So they can fly away from this conversation?" Billy smirked.

Britt bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.

"Whatcha smirking at Britt?" Brett asked his little sister.

"Pfft I'm not smirking." Brittani rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh at what Billy said.

"No, 'cause heroes fly and who doesn't want people to think they're a hero right? But invisibility no way, spying around on people who don't even know you're there, sneaking around everywhere, it's a total villain power right?!" Freddy shouted loud enough for the whole cafeteria to hear.

Then Freddy got up and followed Billy and Brittani couldn't hear the conversation anymore.

At the end of the school day, Brittani was waiting on the sidewalk for her brothers to bring the truck around to the front of the school.

The truck swerved and hit Freddy, knocking him over.

"Of course.." Britt muttered to herself.

"Oh my gosh, Freddy, are you okay?" Mary asked him.

Brett and Burke got out of the truck.

"What the hell, what is wrong with you two?" Mary asked, annoyed with the two of them.

"Woah oh oh, no way that's gonna buff out." Burke said, smirking a little.

"You gonna pay for that Freeman?" Brett asked, smirking too.

"For the dent you made almost hitting me? Yeah, sure, you guys take these?" Freddy asked, laughing and sticking his middle fingers up at them.

Brett shoved Freddy onto the floor and the two started hitting and kicking him.

"Brett! Stop!" Britt shouted at him.

"Stay out of this Brittani!" Brett shouted at his sister, which is something both he and Burke refrain from ever doing.

Burke started hitting Freddy with his crutch.

"Don't touch my brother!" Darla said in a cute little voice.

"What, you need your fake family to stand up for you?" Burke asked Freddy smirking.

"Stand up for yourself, Freeman." Brett smirked.

"Yeah, huh." Burke said, and the two continued hitting and kicking Freddy.

Billy started walking away but stopped when Brett said, "What're you gonna do? Go home and cry to mommy?"

Burke taunted him by saying, "Oh yeah, you don't have a mommy."

Brittani decided to walk home instead, she knew her dad was home because he controls his business from home, so her brothers would be in deep shit.

When she arrived at home, her dad was on a conference call.

"I'll be back on the call soon." Her dad said then put the call on hold, turned to Bianca and said, "there's my little girl."

"Hi daddy." Britt said, smiling, hugging her dad who gave her a kiss on the head.

"Where are your brothers?" Bill Breyer asked his daughter.

"Still at school, beating up Freddy. I knew it would take a while so I walked home."

"And they didn't even think about stopping? Imagine what could've happened to you.." Her dad said, he's been protective of Brittani since her mom died.

"I know, daddy, I know. I could've died or been kidnapped or something. But I'm okay, aren't I?" Britt smiled, then headed upstairs to her room which was directly opposite from Brett and Burke's room.

Her room was a rose gold aesthetic, it had pink curtains, creme walls, couple pictures and canvases here and there, a dressing table, fairy lights, her closet and a couch for her to sit on while watching tv. Quite the opposite to her brothers' room, they had theirs quite dark, blacks and greys.

Her mom loved decorating and so does Bianca, she got that trait from her mom and her looks too. Her dad says she's the spitting image of her mom and from the photos she's seen of her mom, she believes it too because she looks exactly like her mom.

Brittani sat at the bay window in her room and was talking to her 'mom' in the sky.

"I wish you were here right now, mom, you'd be able to see what a beautiful young woman I'm becoming. Brett and Burke have been acting like such assholes lately, probably because the fourteenth anniversary of your death is coming up....and my fourteenth birthday too. Dad says I'm a lot like you, personality-wise and looks too. I really wish I got at least some time with you..." Britt said sighing, yes her mom died when she was born, a couple hours after she was born to be exact. She was born four days before christmas, so she gets a lot of presents.

Little did she know was that her dad and her brothers were listening to her talking to the sky from her window.

Brittani looked in the window and saw the reflection of her dad and her brothers.

"It's my fault mom's dead isn't it?" Britt asked them, sadly.

"No, no, no, never blame yourself, princess, never ever blame yourself. Okay? Your mom had cancer, she was very sick and it was too late to treat it too." Her dad said, entering her room, her brothers following in tow.

"Yeah, dad's right, Bri." Brett told her, "it's almost as if mom's here right now because you're literally a walking image of her."

That made her crack a smile.

Britt decided to text Freddy after dinner.

Freddy Brittani

Hey Fred, I know we didn't talk that much today, I'm just wanting to know if everything's going okay with the new foster brother

Yeah, about that, meet me on tenth street. No questions.

Sure, I'll just sneak past my overprotective brothers and overprotective dad. Like that'll work.

Just sneak out the window, Breyer.

Fine, meet you in 10

Britt sighed, and opened her window, climbing down the ladder and heading to tenth street, where Freddy told her to meet up.

And that was where she saw Freddy and some man in tights and a bodysuit.

"Who's the gymnast?" Brittani asked.

"It's me, it's Billy." The man said, claiming he was the new kid.

"Sure you are, all I have to do is call my dad who's the head of a lawfirm here in Philadelphia and you're gone." Brittani said threateningly.

"I'll prove it, you called me a dickhead today when Freddy said my name and I called you a bitch." The man said, finally proving he was in fact Billy.

"So, you're now an adult gymnast?" Britt asked, still not getting why he was wearing what she would to gymnastics.

"No, he's a superhero." Freddy told her.

"Woah, cool, what are your superpowers?" Brittani asked, interested.

"Superpowers? I don't even know how to pee in this thing, Breyer!" Billy said, suddenly needing to take a piss.

#shazam!#billy batson x oc #my oc brittani breyer #brett breyer #burke breyer #freddy freeman #billy batson

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choices-betch · 6 years ago

Text

Lost on You (Mona x MC): Chapter IV

Book: Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance Pairing: Mona x MC Warnings: None. Just some cursing. Chapter Quote: “I wasn’t scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost. I was halfway across America, at the dividing line between the East of my youth and the West of my future, and maybe that’s why it happened right there and then, that strange red afternoon.” - Jack Kerouac, On the Road Notes: So I surprised myself and actually finished this in four parts! I almost wrote two different endings, and it took me a while to finish this one because I was really sold on the other one...but ultimately, this felt better. Thank you again to everyone who read, reblogged/liked, and commented on this series! Hope it wasn’t a total waste of your time, haha. Tags: @maxwellsquidsuit @scarlet-letter-a0114 @whoinvitedalx @zoe6111 @pauclaws @desiree-0816

Song: easily - bruno major

Chapter IV: Lovefool

Mona stood outside the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office, shuffling the gift box between her hands as she took in the full height of the building. She couldn’t believe she was about to voluntarily enter a criminal justice building; it gave her the shivers.

Mona walked in, requesting directions and taking the elevator to the fifth floor in search of her destination. She peered around the corner of the office door, relaxing as she saw it was empty, sans a few boxes left to unpack.

Mona set the gift on the desk, running her fingers across the top before leaning against it, her arms folded across her chest as she glanced around the room. Movement in the windows caught Mona’s attention and she watched her walk toward the door, eyes glued to a file. Mona rolled her eyes. Still oblivious as ever. Mona took in her appearance as she rounded the corner into her office: black pencil skirt, deep green blouse and black stilettos, her hair pulled back in a bun but bits of hair had fallen…Mona bit her lip as her attraction grew, her mind wandering to the moments she had grasped handfuls of that same head of hair...

Lexi looked up as she saw another pair of feet and gasped at Mona’s presence, dropping her file as her hand went to her heart in shock. Mona snickered, earning a glare as Lexi bent down to pick up the file and assorted papers that had fallen out.

“Why can’t you ever make an entrance like a normal human being?” Lexi huffed, closing her door and moving to pull the blinds down over the windows for some privacy.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Lexi gave her a pointed look and walked behind her desk, sitting down and leaning back in her chair with crossed legs. She stared at Mona in silence, a pensive look on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“What a greeting,” Mona scoffed. Lexi cocked her head to the side, continuing to look at Mona expectantly. “I came to congratulate you, what with getting promoted to assistant DA and all. Obviously,” Mona added, nodding toward the gift box. Lexi shifted her gaze to the box, her eyes widening slightly in surprise as she became aware of the gift.

“Thank you,” Lexi started slowly, her eyes back on Mona. “While I appreciate that...why now?”

Mona ran her tongue across the back of her teeth; a soothing method of sorts. She scratched her neck, squinting a bit as she looked away. There wasn’t much of an easy explanation she could give. She sighed and rolled her eyes, mostly at herself, shifting her weight awkwardly.

“It was time.”

—-

3 years ago...

Lexi woke up on the bathroom floor, slightly disoriented as she took in her surroundings. Memories from the night before flooded her mind, making her already swollen eyes burn again. She turned to lay on her back, her palms pressing into her eyes to stop them from welling over. With a sigh she hoisted herself upright, went pee, and looked at herself in the mirror. She cringed; her face was red and puffy, she had crusted drool on her cheek, and her hair was going every which direction. A real looker.

After washing her face and taking some time to make herself look alive, Lexi sat cross-legged on her bed, lost in thought. As much as she would have liked to say she wished she’d never taken Mona up on her invite, she knew she’d do it all over again if given the opportunity.

Probably why she doesn’t want you. Desperate ass.

Lexi grunted in frustration, pounding her fists on her mattress as she questioned when she’d stop making the same decisions repeatedly, before getting up and heading to her closet. She was not going to do this again. She had to be a fucking adult about this and move on. As she rifled through her clothes she came across the black dress she wore to the club, and her mind wandered to Jordan. Her stomach dropped; she’d been a real jackass toward a completely innocent person, as unintentional as it had been. She knew she owed Jordan an explanation, and she had definitely promised her one. Lexi got dressed and shot a text to her classmate Joel after realizing she had absolutely no contact information for Jordan. After getting a response, she grabbed her belongings and headed out the door.

She was going to make this right.

—-

Lexi sat at an umbrella table, two coffees resting on the table top as she glanced at the people milling around, waiting for one particular familiar face. Within a few minutes Jordan walked out, laughing with a few other people. She saw Lexi quickly, saying goodbye to her friends before heading over to the table.

“I asked Joel where you worked. And what your favorite coffee was. Hopefully they got it right, I didn’t know if you wanted—“

“What are you doing here?” Jordan asked, seeming genuinely confused with a hint of amusement. Lexi sighed, visibly deflating. She wasn’t good at these kinds of conversations and she didn’t know where to start.

“I wanted to apologize,” Lexi started, picking at her pants. “I was shitty. A few times. I'm not normally like that, I swear. I’m really, really sorry. I just...wanted to explain, if you’ll let me?” Lexi motioned to the empty chair and coffee, a pleading expression on her face. Jordan stared at her for a moment before taking a seat, helping herself to the drink and humming in approval.

“So,” Jordan started after a moment of silence, her eyebrows raised to urge Lexi on.

“So,” Lexi responded, sighing heavily. “I...I have a...weird history, for lack of better words. I got involved in some stuff when I turned eighteen and...I met someone. My first love, first...everything, really. It didn’t last long, mostly because we got caught. She got hurt and needed a hospital, so it was either bleed out or turn herself in.”

Jordans eyes were wide in shock, clearly not expecting to hear what she’d just been told, but she stayed silent as Lexi continued.

“She...saved me. She got shot prying the gun away that was meant to shoot me. And then she went to prison, still protecting me so I could go to school, have a life. I didn’t deserve....” Lexi swallowed hard, getting emotional as she continued, but shook her head and cleared her throat to snap out of it. “Anyway, I...had a hard time letting go. I wrote to her the whole time she was in prison, she never responded except on my birthday. But she got out recently, and…”

“And...she’s back?”

Lexi nodded slowly, biting the inside of her cheek as she picked at the table top.

“Is that why you took off that day?”

Lexi nodded again with a sigh, then met Jordan’s gaze. “I didn’t know she was out. I thought I was losing it. I had thought I’d seen glimpses of her a few times before that.”

“I see.”

They sat in awkward silence, unsure what to say or do next. After a moment, Lexi cleared her throat and broke thetension.

“So…yeah. I promised you an explanation, and you deserved one. I’m really sorry for how I’ve treated you. I did the same thing to you that was done to me, and you don’t deserve that.”

“Well, I appreciate that,” Jordan responded genuinely, “but what’s going on with the girl?”

“Nothing. She made that very clear.” Lexi raised her eyebrows and laughed bitterly, folding her arms over her chest unconsciously. “Just gotta move on. Again.”

Jordan shook her head, her brows furrowed as she took a sip of her coffee. Lexi’s eyebrows mimicked Jordan’s, sitting a little more upright.

“What?” Lexi asked indignantly.

“I just don’t get you.”

Me?! What the...great, I get rejected and somehow it’s my fault.

“If this is still something that affects you so deeply - and clearly it does - why would you let that go?”

“She doesn’t want—”

“Bullshiiiit,” Jordan interrupted, leaving Lexi with her mouth agape. “You and I both know if that were true she wouldn’t keep being all stealth master about it.”

She was right. And that’s what kept Lexi hanging on. Maybe she was too scared of pushing, too fearful of putting herself at risk of continued rejection. But what else did she have to lose? Her life had felt like it had been on pause all these years, always questioning what could have been if only…

At least if Mona really meant what she said, Lexi would never regret trying one last time; if there was the slightest chance for his to turn out well, she had to take it. What was stopping her besides herself? And not knowing where the hell Mona was, of course. But Lexi knew where to start.

Lexi’s gaze fell on her immediately; not many people were at the bar in the middle of the afternoon. She second guessed her choice the moment they made eye contact, terrified of rejection yet again, but she knew she had to give this a fighting chance to finally let it go. She exhaled heavily then marched confidently to the bar, slamming her things down on the table top and plopping down on a chair.

“I have some things to say, and you’re going to listen. And if you try and leave, I will tie your ass to the chair.” Mona raised an eyebrow as Lexi reached in her bag and pulled out a long silk tie, her eyes going between the tie and Lexi’s face repeatedly before smirking. Lexi rolled her eyes. “Evidence from a mock trial, calm down.”

“Hey, you’re the one barging in, threatening to tie me up and have your way with me. I’m just drinking a beer.”

“Can you please be serious?” Lexi was already irritated. Why did she want to do this, again?

Mona sighed, setting her beer bottle on the table with a soft thud. “I don't see what’s left to say.”

“You’re full of shit. We could start with present time or go back a few years, either way there’s a lot to figure out. But that doesn’t even matter right now, I just..”

Lexi stumbled over her words, frustrated at how she couldn’t ever form coherent thoughts or sentences around this woman. Mona always had known when she needed to shut up, though, so she stayed quiet, allowing Lexi to figure out exactly what she wanted to say.

“You’ve chosen for me every time. But this time I’m not letting you. I’m choosing to fight for this, Mona. For you. I’ve let you run every time, but I can’t again. Not without giving it a final shot. This is stupid! We’ve been playing this song and dance for six years. Aren’t you tired?”

Mona’s face betrayed nothing. She sat, watching Lexi with a careful expression. Lexi took that as a signal to continue.

“There’s a reason after all this time I can’t let you go. There has to be a reason I’m still in l—“ Lexi caught herself, her cheeks reddening at her flub. “That I still want you,” she corrected, her sense of desperation back. “We’re connected, and whether or not you want to admit it, you feel it too, otherwise you never would have come.”

Mona stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. It felt too dangerous to open up, to really allow herself to delve this deep into her feelings. She didn’t like doing that nor did she have any desire to in the middle of a bar. But she knew deep down, Lexi was right. She felt the same, but she didn’t know what to do with it. She didn’t know how it could possibly do either of them any good.

“What are you so afraid of?” Lexi demanded, exasperation evident in her voice.

“I’m not afraid,” Mona snapped, her eyebrows furrowing as she took an aggressive gulp of her drink. She wasn’t fucking afraid. She wasn’t… “I just...I don’t know how to settle down, okay? It’s never really been my thing. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t think anybody really knows what they’re doing,” Lexi argued. “That’s not a good enough reason not to try.”

“I can’t be everything you need me to be, Lexi,” Mona said harshly, her eyes flashing with such intensity it made Lexi uncomfortable for a moment. “I don’t understand what you aren’t getting about that.”

“You don’t know that,” Lexi refuted, her voice growing louder. “You don’t know what I need, and I don’t know why you keep thinking you get to choose for me, Mona. I am a grown ass woman.”

“Yeah, you are, Lex,” Mona agreed, her eyes softening as she looked on at her sadly. “You’re a grown ass woman with a whole lot of potential that shouldn’t be stunted by who you’re with. I don’t have a future. I have nothing to offer. All I would do is hold you back, and you know it’s the truth,” Mona added, cutting off Lexi’s attempt to argue. “Don’t waste your life on me.”

Lexi swallowed roughly, saddened at how little value Mona placed in herself. Mona had many faults, but more than enough positive qualities to make up for the negative, and so much potential to do more. Maybe Lexi was a complete fool to still hold onto the good in her after all they’d been through. But hadn’t Mona done the same with her?

“You’re wrong,” Lexi finally said, shaking her head. “But that...I don’t have all the answers. I-” Lexi sighed heavily, flustered. “I know this isn’t logical, nothing about us has ever been logical, but we can figure it out. I know we can. I just need you to be in this with me. I need you to stay.”

Mona stared at her, conflicted. She couldn’t see this ending well. She didn’t know how to stay put. She didn’t know how to care for someone and let them care for her. She didn’t know how to be in a relationship. She didn’t know how to exist on the other side of society. Didn’t know, didn’t know, didn’t know…

Mona was brought back to the present moment by the jolt of heat she felt in her body, triggered by Lexi sliding her hand over Mona’s. She stared at their hands in silence, feeling her resolve crumble and trying desperately to fight it. But...why? Because I’m scared.

Mona gulped, reality setting in. She was scared of failing. Scared of being vulnerable, because that’s just asking to get hurt. Scared of letting herself get more invested just for it to fall apart. This sort of thing had never worked out well for her. But then again she’d never had someone willing to fight for her, much less someone she was willing to fight for. What did she really have to lose? My whole identity…but again, where had that gotten her?

“I can’t promise you I won’t be a nightmare,” Mona finally said, eyes still on their hands. Lexi’s heart leapt to her throat, a surge of adrenaline coursing through her body.

“As opposed to…?” Lexi teased, a smile cracking despite Mona’s attempts at keeping a straight face.

“And you gotta move. That place is a doghouse.”

“Hey!” Lexi protested with a laugh, “that doghouse has gotten me through rough times.”

“I can tell,” Mona retorted. “It served its purpose. Time to go.”

“You know you’re gonna have to tell me your real name, right?”

Mona snorted, shaking her head with a lazy grin. “Not on your life.”

“Is it Mary? Judith? Alice...no, Bethany! Definitely Bethany.”

Mona snorted, beer flying out of her mouth as Lexi continued to call off random names with an amused grin on her face.

“Don’t change the subject. Move.”

“I am not moving unless it’s out of state,” Lexi argued with a laugh, finishing off her drink. Mona smirked, finishing hers as well with a satisfied sound.

“Say the word.”

A slow smile spread across Lexi’s face, and despite Mona’s typical aversion to smiling, she found herself mirroring Lexi.

“Oh, I will.”

2 months later…

“Babe?” Lexi called out, eyes still glued to the email maximized on her computer screen. Mona made an affirmative noise as she popped her head out of the kitchen, her mouth full as she had just taken a bite of a sandwich. “Lets go.”

“Go…?” Mona asked in confusion, wiping crumbs off her face as she walked toward Lexi, a curious expression on her face.

“Yeah. I’m saying the word. Let’s go.” Mona paused her steps for a moment, taken aback; Lexi had a real knack for catching her off guard. Noticing Lexi’s attention hadn’t strayed from her screen, she continued toward her, reading the email over her shoulder as she took another mouthful of sandwich.

“Blah blah blah, thank you for your interest...lots of candidates...” Mona muttered under her breath as she scanned the text, “...would like to formally congratulate you on being selected for a clerkship with the Philadelphia District Attorney’s Office?!” Mona was practically yelling as she met Lexi’s gaze. A slow grin spread across her face as she swallowed her bite and tossed her sandwich on the desk, taking Lexi’s face in her hands and pressing a loud kiss on her mouth. Lexi laughed, savoring the little kisses being pressed all over her face.

“Philly?” Mona asked, still cradling Lexi’s face in her hands.

Lexi nodded enthusiastically, her hands resting on Mona’s wrists as she kissed her again. “Philly.”

—

Present Day

“Time…?”

Mona rolled her eyes teasingly. “Yes, time.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it was a great surprise. I just assumed we’d talk about it first.”

“Eh, you know I act on impulse,” Mona replied cheekily, half shrugging. “Grand gestures and all.”

Once Lexi got the clerkship, they’d essentially concluded that anything not-quite-kosher Mona did would have to be discreet and away from home, have no expectation of permanency, and Lexi would be kept in the dark to protect her career...which meant Mona was mostly in the dark about hers.

In all honesty Mona had kept it pretty clean over the years, mostly because she didn’t want to mess anything up for Lexi, but also because shockingly, she quite enjoyed finding other interests that utilized her skills and knowledge without the propensity of getting her tailed by the law. And she still quite enjoyed her freedom. If she hadn’t kept her name out of peoples mouths and networks, she never would have set foot within 100 feet of the place. But as she was doing some general upkeep on her car one day (her form of therapy), she realized she was tired of keeping their lives separate in any capacity, and there was no need for it anymore. So she went to a store, got her a congratulatory gift (for old times sake), and ended up in Lexi’s office for the first time.

Mona walked over to Lexi, pulling on her wrists until she was standing upright. Her hands fell to rest on Lexi’s waist, fingers rubbing the fabric of her blouse between her fingers. “Don’t worry. I’m good. You’re good. Relax.” Mona’s gaze ran up the length of Lexi’s body, pausing on her mouth before meeting Lexi’s eyes.

“I’m relaxed. Can I help you?” Lexi asked breathily with a teasing tone, still amazed at how her body continued to respond so easily to her after all these years.

“You can help me with a lot of things looking like that,” Mona said lowly, wiggling her eyebrows as she slowly backed Lexi against her desk, hands resting on the wood on either side of her. Lexi’s eyes fluttered closed as Mona leaned in closer, anticipating Mona’s lips against hers. After a few seconds of no contact, Lexi opened her eyes, meeting Mona’s wide brown eyes.

Mona reached up, pushing one of Lexi’s loose strands behind her ear. Her fingers trailed down Lexi’s cheek softly, down her neck and the middle of her chest. Lexi’s breath became labored. Not in my office...right?

“What?” she asked, craving contact desperately.

“You’re just so damn beautiful,” Mona murmured, her thumb brushing against Lexi’s lips. “Dunno how I lucked out so hard in life, but I won’t argue with it.”

Lexi smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to Mona’s thumb before taking it between her teeth. Mona bit her bottom lip; damnit, why’d she have to be so sexy? Mona removed her thumb quickly and kissed Lexi roughly, though her hands cradled Lexi’s face with a tenderness that didn’t seem fitting for Mona even over the years. Lexi melted against Mona, completely willing to give in to her, just as she always had been. Mona pulled back despite Lexi’s protests and smiled softly at her.

“I should go,” Mona said, straightening herself out.

“Probably,” Lexi replied begrudgingly. “But you should definitely make this a regular thing.”

“Don’t press your luck,” Mona joked, shooting her a wink as she headed toward the door. She paused after opening the door, turning to look at Lexi as she leaned against her desk with a grin. Never in a million years did Mona think this was how it would end up. If someone had told her even five years ago that she’d finally be willing to give up the only life she knew for the girl that ultimately got her thrown in prison then would become an assistant DA, she would have told them to fuck off. But here she was all these years later, still lost on Lexi just as she always had been.

Mona grinned back, possibly bigger than she’d ever smiled in her life. Lexi’s heart skipped, still in awe of how strongly she felt for Mona in spite of time and everything they’d gone through. Mona wasn’t always one for words, but her gestures spoke volumes, and when she committed to something she didn’t back down. They struggled at times, but at the end of the day all they cared about was staying together and they stubbornly figured out how to navigate their firsts.

Mona glanced around the office one last time, her eyes landing on Lexi again. “I’m feeling crazy fucking proud right now,” she said, “which is kinda new for me and I’m not sure how I feel about it.” Lexi laughed to avoid being a crying mess, overwhelmed with emotion. “But you deserve it, hotshot.”

“You’re my favorite.”

Mona smirked, tapping the door frame a few times before heading out. “I’ll see you at home.”

Home. Such a foreign concept, even still. Like good ol’ lesbians, they moved in together immediately. Mona had done a smart enough job hiding her money before she was arrested, so she had a good amount to contribute in order to get her way and move somewhere more suitable, plus do some odds and ends jobs for a while to contribute to recurring expenses. But Mona recognized it wasn’t the house itself that made it a home; it was her. Lexi always felt like home. She made Mona feel like a better person, like maybe one day she could be deserving of what she had. But even though she wasn’t there yet, Mona knew one thing for sure: as long as Lexi wanted her, she was there. Always.

#mona x mc #rod mona #mona rod #mona x mc fic #mona x mc fics #ride or die #choices ride or die #playchoices #choices stories you play #pixelberry

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sporadic-writer · 6 years ago

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Like Nobody’s Watching

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: swearing that’s mainly it

Summary: in a city of millions, someone is always watching you be yourself (that sounds creepy, sorry I can’t think of a better phrasing)

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It's classic NYC gridlock. Luckily, it was Thursday evening so it wasn't horrible. Plus, you and your friend driving have some of your favorite songs BLASTING with the windows down so it wasn’t too bad. It was one of the first pleasantly warm nights of the year and of course you had the windows and sunroof open. In New York, a million people pass by and see a million things a day, but pay no mind. It’s the perfect place to act like nobody is watching because in the end no one is really watching. Besides, no one pays much mind to two girls singing screaming along to the AUX.

The traffic wasn’t horrible. It was very slow moving, but luckily wasn’t too long. Some passed by and were entertained, or sang a long a little bit. Plus, your turn was a few blocks away and seemed to be where the slow down stops. Wanting to break the bored feeling growing in your mind, you decided to unbuckle and stand up out the sunroof. The song continued on with the traffic and you continued to throw your arms out and feel the breeze. It was a perfect night and you looked around at the beautiful city around you.

The song got quiet as it changed and you looked down to your friend in the driver’s seat. “Ah to be a twenty-something in the Big Apple. It’s perfect.” The next song began and your friend cranked it. She looked up to you and you smirked. “Sing it bitch! AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET? I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANNA HEAR! CAUSE THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK!” Some people crossing the street laughed at the both of you.

"Y/N some old couple crossing the street didn’t appreciate our show very much. They glared and shook their heads hahah!” She continued to bop along while you smiled and leaned on the roof of the car. A breeze went by again and you smiled at the warm weather.

“Screw em! If they can’t enjoy a free concert that’s on them. Now let’s fucking go, the next chorus is coming. Drop a heart, break a name. We’re always sleeping in, sleeping for the wrong team! WE’RE GOIN’ DOWN, DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND. AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING!” You stopped and let her take the rest of it. At the street corner you heard some girls singing as well, just as loud. When you turned to the area of them, smiling, they danced a little and you went along with them. After they kept walking you felt a tap on your leg.

As you looked down, Y/F/N, looked up at you and turned the music down a little. “They aren’t the only ones amused by our antics. That cute guy behind them in the blue hoodie as been watching and laughing since we started.” She pointed back at that direction and you smirked as your gaze followed. Upon realizing who she meant, you froze.

As you dropped into your seat she looked at you as if you were nuts. “Do you know who that guy is? That is Sebastian Stan. Oh God how could I not notice one of my favorite actors watching me make an ass out of myself. Fate is cruel.”

“Oh come on. He seems cool.” She turned to him and waved. She waved as if it was the most casual thing in the world. And he waved back! “See he wouldn’t wave if he knew you were a freak.”

“I’m gonna ignore how you said ‘knew’ and not ‘thought’ in regards to me being a freak. Still oh dear Lord why. Stop laughing I’m humiliated!” Soon The Anthem by Good Charlotte began and the volume was back up. Both of you sang along again and next thing you knew the car moved closer to your street.

“It’s not like we were actually screaming. We are just being loud and a tad obnoxious. So a normal Thursday night for us. Seriously relax.” You looked back into the crowd of people walking on the streets. Pretty sure you saw him up ahead, you long forgotten, and you calmed a bit. As the music played the car drove in front of your place.

Walking in, you plopped on the couch and opened your finsta. Then you typed up a post. “Ignore the smiles in this pic. Im ded. Sorry to @(his insta name idk off the top of my head) for witnessing that little concert of me and @friend in the streets of New York. Refunds for the show and therapy can be provided.” Laughing a little you hit post.

“Me my ass. That show was all you. Cute pic though! But come on Y/N he didn’t care. He’s a celeb he has probs seen much weirder. The fact that we even saw someone famous in the first place is cool alone.” You nodded in agreement. Wanting to forget it, you grabbed some nerds turned on Sunny in Philadelphia.

After about 3 episodes in, Y/F/N went to pee so you paused the show and grabbed your phone. What you saw seemed too unbelievable. You called out her name.

“What now?” You shoved your phone in her hands. “What am I looking at? All I see are you instagram notifications.”

“Bitch look closer!” You pointed to the DM notification. “HE messaged me! I’m done.”

“Are you serious? Well let’s open this bad boy. Don’t fight it. Stop! Ok ok. It says, agh fine here take it.” You snatched your phone back and read the message.

Him: No need to apologize. I quite liked it actually. Not everyday you see someone being free like that these days.

You just sat there, soaking everything in. “Why aren’t you replying! Don’t be rude and leave him on read.” You rolled your eyes and typed something up.

You: well to be fair i didnt think anyone was actually watching... my real self isnt quite THAT dorky.. im still sorry you witnessed it

“Happy? I replied.” Almost instantly your phone lit up in his reply. “Damn boy.”

Him: I wouldn’t say dorky. More like cute. Although it was clear you thought no one was genuinely watching lol

“Holy shit. He’s flirting. I repeat he is flirting with ME! At least I think he is.. Is this flirting? This has to be a prank.” You tossed your phone to your friend. Sunny long forgotten on the TV. “Wait what are you saying? Don’t reply yet!”

“Relax. I made it sound like you. Well you but with some balls.” The phone got tossed and you caught it smoothly.

“How did he get in my DMs anyway? My finsta isn’t public. Oh wait never mind he found my real one some how. Oof what is going on right now?”

You: i find it hard to believe an attractive celeb is flirting with me lol how do ik its really you? this seems too good to be true

Him: Doesn’t seem like I’m the only one flirting here. But to be fair this is my personal account. And it’s not everyday I DM a girl I see singing Fall Out Boy out of a car sunroof downtown NYC. How about we meet up Friday evening? Let me prove it’s me.

“Oh my goodness. Y/N got a date with a celebrity! I’m jealous.” You got another message.

Him: Too forward? Or do I just sound creepy?

You: no not at all. and sure why the hell not!

You: wait that may sound rude! I would love to meet up haha this way i can ensure this isnt a prank or learn not to trust social media if it is

Him: You have little trust in the world darling! But awesome, meet me at 7 at the corner you put on your lovely show. Near the Roselight Cafe and Howard’s Personal Fitness.

You: ha so thats how you stay in such good shape! But alright that works for me

Him: No no that is all me. But you’re witty, I like that. See you then ;)

“Holy shit you have a date with a movie star.” You both sat with wide eyes in slight shock.

You let out an ironic chuckle. “I have a date with a movie star.” You looked to her and laughed in disbelief some more. “All because I acted like a moron out of your car sunroof.”

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Hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and comment my dudes!

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan fic #fanfiction #fanfic #sebastian stan blurb

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gaycrouton · 6 years ago

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Relentless

Words of Lust 18/27 [ A fight between Mulder and Scully ends in a dramatic climax.] (budum tss)

Relentless: (adjective) oppressively constant; incessant.

(After Never Again)

It was none of his fucking business. He didn’t need to know how long it’s been since she’d been touched in the way her body craved. He didn’t need to know the only reason she was interested in Ed Jerse in the first place was because he reminded her of Mulder; the self deprecation, the puppy dog eyes, the hair, the strong jaw. Hell, if she imagined hard enough, it was Mulder grabbing her and kissing the breath out of her lungs, but imagination was never her strong suit.

She couldn’t ignore the different cologne, the lack of Mulder’s charm, the sense that violence was lurking beyond one wrong move, that damn ‘talking tattoo’. She thought she could live out the fantasy of being with Mulder vicariously through this man, but sometimes fantasies are just cruel. He didn’t need to know the way her body completely froze when her imagination was too weak and the reality that another man was taking off her clothes became too much, or that she laid alone all night in Ed Jerse’s bed, pretending it was Mulder’s shirt adoring her naked, lonely, unsatisfied body.

He didn’t need to know, but part of her wanted to tell him, to just blurt it out. Ever since she came back from Philadelphia, Mulder’s been acting like a different person. It was like he was eternally agitated and didn’t know how to act around her. The eyes the used to roam her body when he thought she wasn’t looking now were a mystery to her; the hands that would gently touch her now avoided all contact; and the voice that use to give her words of comfort and endearment was now cold and distant.

Maybe it was fear manifesting as anger, maybe he was just upset because she almost died and he thinks he drove her to it. They were bickering before she left and now it was worse. She just wanted to be seen as his equal, his partner, to be treated like her opinion mattered and that her work on the X-Files meant something. It wasn’t just because of the fucking desk. The fact he doesn’t see what not having a desk means about their power dynamic was just frustrating.

But she wasn’t going to tell him. No. That would just exacerbate the problem. Her saying, “Don’t worry, Mulder. I almost fucked Jerse, but I couldn’t go through with it because I want you” was essentially her just reporting back to him, “Don’t worry, I’m still your pristine, untouched partner, Mulder. Loyal to you and the X-Files exclusively.” He would be relieved, but it would further romanticize the idea that she only lived to be his sidekick and did whatever he wanted. She wanted him to realize she wanted more out of life than just work, and she really wanted him to realize she wanted him to be a part of that life too.

Instead, he took her adventure as a personal attack. Now, a week later, they were driving to their first case post-Jerse, and the tension was deafening. Small talk was almost non-existent because, when it happened, it was met with short, choppy answers from both parties. The coldness left her mouth before she could even stop it. She didn’t want things to be this way, she wanted it to get better and move on, but everytime he was short with her, she had to retaliate. It was a defense mechanism, blame it on her irish temper.

They were driving to a motel in Apex, North Carolina. Apparently entire families were disappearing for no reason. After deciding to take on the case, Mulder snidely asked her if it was interesting enough for her, “Sorry Scully, I can’t guarantee this case will have any handsome, dangerous men on it.” Asshole . It was about a four and a half hour ride and it was spent in relative silence. She had to pee for about an hour now, but she would rather eat glass than ask anything of him right now. They were only a few towns away, so she just decided to suffer. Since they expected to get there so late, they were just going to pick up reports the police left with the front desk and go over them before calling it a night. She glanced down at her watch to check the time when Mulder decided to speak up for maybe the fifth time the whole trip.

“Sorry if you’re bored, we’re about ten to fifteen minutes away.” On a normal basis, the sentence would have been fine, but right now it was laced with exasperation.

“Thanks,” she sighed unenthusiastically, letting her wrist drop onto her lap dramatically.

“Did I do something to piss you off? You’ve been standoffish this whole time,” he asked. Her jaw practically dropped open at the hypocrisy.

“I’m being standoffish?” she repeated incredulously. “You’ve been treating me like shit for days.”

“No I’m no-,” he stopped himself mid-sentence and just let out a tired breath, taking one hand off the wheel to run it through his hair. “I’m sorry if you feel that way.” For the first time in days, he sounded sincere, but his words gave her no comfort.

“I don’t just feel that way, you are. You’ve been punishing me for days for nothing,” she exclaimed. She turned her head to look at him and caught that he had been looking at her, his eyes quickly snapping back to the road when they met hers. She noticed his jaw was slightly clenched.

“Nothing,” he repeated the word as if it was a punchline to a morbid joke, but he offered nothing else. They were almost to the hotel, and she was honestly too tired to do this right now. She had spent the last week making up hypothetical arguments Mulder would throw at her and preparing her own snappy comebacks, perfecting her cool glare in the mirror as she brushed her teeth and ran through the imaginary scenarios, but none came to mind right now. It was ridiculous, but so was all this.

She just sighed and sat in silence the rest of the ride, the car felt hollow from the familiarity and pleasantry that should have been there. When the hotel came into sight, her irritation was replaced by her bladder’s reminder that she had to pee. Even though they were fighting right now, their routine still stayed in place. Without saying a word, Scully got out to get the keys and files from the front desk as Mulder unpacked the car. She came out and just told him what rooms they had, pleased to see him follow wordlessly with their bags in hand. They exchanged her bag for his key and the files. “I want to take a quick shower before I read the files. When you’re done with them, would you mind dropping them off in my room?” she asked.

“Will do,” he replied, opening his door and walking inside without so much as a second glance.She quickly went into her room, grabbed her shower things, and headed to the bathroom. She was honestly relieved to be out of Mulder’s sight for the first time in hours, something she never expected to happen.

After finally peeing, she stood up and stripped out of her business clothes. She stood naked in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Scully was surprised to see she looked thinner than normal, the bones of her ribs standing out ever so lightly against nearly translucent, pale skin. The words from Leonard Betts still rang clearly in her head, “You have something I need.” She unconsciously touched her fingers lightly to where Betts had pointed on her forehead. She was worried about the implications of what he meant, deep down the fear continued to grow, but she didn’t want to deal with it right now. She had no one to confide in, and the whole thing just made her feel more alone.

She ran her hand over her face and through her hair as if to rid herself of the stress. Focusing back on the task at hand, she turned on the shower, but before jumping in, turned to look at the new tattoo on her lower back. It had finally all peeled and was stark and vivid against her skin. Regardless of the events surrounding it, she liked the tattoo and what it meant to her.

Her shower was relatively event less. She took this moment of peace to ignore the outside stress plaguing her life. She just wanted to get clean, go to bed, and wake up to everything being normal again. She turned off the stream after about ten minutes and stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in the motel’s uncomfortable, terry cloth towel. After exiting the bathroom, she made her way to her haphazardly discarded suitcase and rummaged around for her pyjamas, which just consisted of black sweatpants and a white tee-shirt. She had just slid the sweatpants up her legs when Mulder’s voice rang out behind her.

“Scully, do you want these files?” he called out from the other side of the adjoining door. Her’s was already open, but his had remained shut.

“In a second,” she called out. Apparently he misheard her because his adjoining door swung open and she heard him stutter a shocked apology as he took in the sight of her bare back. She quickly put her arms through the sleeves of her white t-shirt and pulled it over her head, fighting to roll the hem down her damp sides until it met the waistband of her cotton, black sweatpants.

“What is it? Or am I not allowed to ask?” His question came out with a veil of disdain and she was surprised to turn around and see he hadn’t moved from his spot at the doorway.

She was shocked that he hadn’t averted his gaze to give her privacy, and his meaning was lost on her. “What’re you talking about, Mulder?” she sighed in exasperation.

“I’m sorry, I thought getting a new addition to your body would be memorable,” he sneered, strutting towards her slowly. Under normal circumstances, him walking in on her while she was changing would have been humorous, and they both probably would have acted like shy teenagers. However, the tension present during the car ride had permeated into the room, creating an unpleasant miasma that was almost suffocating, but she wasn’t going to back down.

“I’m sorry, I thought the common manner of not walking in on your partner while she’s half naked was memorable,” she sneered back, standing up straighter to glare at him.

“It was an accident, but I figured you wouldn’t mind since modesty doesn’t seem to be a concern of yours as of late,” he snapped defensively, as if he was offended she was implying he intruded on purpose. She was praying her face didn’t betray how harshly his words stung. It also made her become hyper aware of the transparency of her shirt, and she had to fight the urge to cross her arms in front of her chest.

“Excuse me?” she balked in almost a whisper, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I’m sorry, was that out of line?” His tone implied he didn’t care if it was. “I just find it funny that you meet a man for one weekend and you’re caught in his apartment wearing his clothes, but your partner of four years, and as far as I was aware, close friend, sees your back and that’s too much? Why did you get a tattoo there if you don’t want anyone to see it anyway?”

“It’s my body and I can do whatever I want with it,” she spat.

“Or whoever,” he replied snidely. Irritation and frustration were practically pulsing through her veins. She’d be surprised if he couldn’t see her veins popping out under her skin.

“What the fuck is your problem, Mulder?” she seethed in a breathy whisper. “These past few years I must have done things you haven’t agreed with, lord knows you love to try my patience, so what’s different now? Where do you get off treating me like this? What do you want, Mulder? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg your forgiveness? Do you want me to hate myself?”

He stared at her a few moments, the silence between them so charged it had its own heartbeat. For a moment, she thought he was going to turn around and leave when his defeated voice broke the silence. “How do you think I felt when I got the call that my partner was in the hospital after being almost murdered? Beaten, infected with a drug, and almost killed, all because I forced you to go on a mission you hadn’t even wanted to go on in the first place. You only went because I asked and treated you like shit for not jumping at the opportunity.”

“Was I supposed to detect some remorse when you came into my hospital room or when you saw me at work and just made fun of me? Was I expected to read between the lines and find an apology through your relentless jokes at my expense?” she retorted.

“What was I supposed to say when I saw the case report and I read the escapades of a woman I couldn’t even recognize on the page? What were you thinking?” he asked, looking at her like she grew a third head.

“Mulder, millions of people get tattoos, it’s nothing t-” she started before getting cut off.

“I’m not talking about the tattoo,” he blurted, raising his voice.

“Then what are you talking about, Mulder?” she shouted back, tired of this game.

��Why would you sleep with him?” Mulder shouted, taking her off guard. She was stunned into silence and he let out a stressed breath before talking again at a lower volume. “Scully, the report made it sound like he was being a total creep before you went back with him. You’re a brilliant woman, I just don’t understand why you would disregard your own life like that. For what, a lay?”

“We put ourselves in danger on every case we go on,” she was going to say more but he jumped in once again.

“ Cases , yes, Scully, not during our personal time. The file explicitly stated people had come by and saw you wearing his clothes and that you had spent the night there.”

She stood for a moment, simply watching him, really taking in his appearance for the first time in a while. It was easy to miss the signs of exhaustion when she was avoiding eye contact for a week on end, but now she could see the bags under his eyes, the slump of his shoulders, and his overall disheveled appearance. He looked sincerely bothered and upset. All her prior fury started to fade as she realized they were both just assuming the worst and lashing out at each other. She decided to just put the truth out on the table. They never were good at keeping secrets from each other anyhow. She let out a little sigh before averting her gaze to the floor and admitting in a mumble, “I only had to stay there because of the storm. I didn’t want to sleep with him.”

When she glanced at him through her lashes, she was met with a completely shocked expression, distress written all over his blanched face. His voice came out almost as a choked whisper as he tentatively asked, “Scully, did he force himself on you?” She was taken aback by the question until she realized she hadn’t exactly phrased her confession in the best way. She was touched nonetheless by his concern.

She took a step towards him, waving her hand in dismissal, “No, no, I’m sorry. I phrased that wrong.” He closed his eyes and visibly relaxed at her admittance, only to tense up again at her next statement, “I mean, he kissed me a few times, it seemed like we were going to have sex, but I couldn’t go through with it.”

“Why not?” he pried. She analyzed his face and saw no judgment this time around, purely curiosity.

If being honest would get them over this roadblock in their relationship, then so be it. “I just wanted to feel something. Have it be recognized that my life was more than just my investment in work. It’s hard coming home an empty apartment. I get sad realizing that I don’t have someone who is genuinely excited when they see me. Maybe my mom, but that’s different. Jerse was interested, and I liked that. When we got to his place and he was touching and grabbing me, I realized superficial appreciation isn’t a good substitute for what I want,” she explained, dismissively shrugging her shoulders in acceptance.

She was pleased that he had let her speak without interruption. When she looked up, she saw he was giving her his purest kicked puppy dog stare. “I’m genuinely excited when I see you,” he admitted softly.

She smiled at him, but reminded, “You’ve been mean to me recently. You made it sound like you don’t trust my judgement and that I’m incompetent at my job.”

His brows furrowed and he started shaking his head immediately, “No, no-Scully. I trust you implicitly, and I think you’re the most rational, level-headed person I have ever met. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just-” He stopped to consider his words as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel like I only get to see you at work. It’s one of my favorite topics, and the only one I don’t feel intrusive asking you about. When you sound tired of it, I get scared.”

He sounded so vulnerable as he said this, she felt like he was bearing a part of his private thoughts to her. She couldn’t help but pry a little more, “Scared of what?”

“Scared that you’ll leave me,” he whispered. Realization hit her like a truck. He hadn’t been lashing out at her because he thought she was bad at her job, a weak link to the X-Files. He was lashing out at her because he saw her lack of dedication to the X-Files as a lack of dedication to him. In his eyes, she left him to go on a rendezvous with another man.

“Mulder,” she prompted, getting his attention. “Were you jealous of Jerse?”

“Jealous of a man who thought his tattoo could talk and tried to kill you. I’m afraid not. I was just worried about you.” He may have been convincing if his words hadn’t come out in a rush, and if, when he heard the word ‘jealousy’, his eyes hadn’t flitted down quickly to her t-shirt clad chest.

“I’ve had to deal with worry regarding people trying to kill you time and time again, but never have I lashed out at you and made it seem like it was your fault,” she informed, not wanting to provoke him, but wanting him to see her point.

He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it before anything came out. Instead, he took a moment to absorb her words before declaring, “You’ve ignored my questions.”

Her brow furrowed at the topic change, not fully following him. “What questions?”

“What’s your tattoo of?” he reiterated.

“It’s an ouroboros, a snake eating its own tail,” she informed. He nodded appreciatively, analyzing this new information, “Do you want to see it?” she offered. He nodded, stepping a bit closer. She turned around and lifted up the hem of her shirt to her waist as she felt him get on his knees behind her. He placed one hand on her bare waist to steady himself as he looked at it.

“What does it mean?” he asked, his breath tickling the fine hairs and flesh of her back.

“I don’t want my life to ever be stagnant, I don’t want to be in that endless line of two steps forward, three steps back,” she said reiterating her words from earlier. “Life is a cycle, and it’s just a reminder that I want a circular pattern of growth and development, not falling into the patterns that have plagued me. It’s just a personal reminder to myself.” It sounded cheesy when she said it out loud, but she had no doubts Mulder would understand.

He was silent for a moment, and she almost jumped when she felt his fingers tentatively reach out to trace the tattoo, his feather light touch floating around her back. She was embarrassed at the goosebumps that she knew were littering her whole body. Mulder’s hand strayed off course and she knew he was feeling them, probably with a cocky smirk on his face. His hand ended up parallel to his other one, now both of them grabbing her bare waist. She was about to ask what he was doing when she felt his lips press tenderly in the middle of where she knew the circle was. She accidentally gasped lightly from surprise and her body suddenly felt hot under his attention.

He raised himself up, not removing his hands, so she was still turned around as he murmured, “There’s one last question you hadn’t answered.” She made a verbal acknowledgement, prompting him to continue. “Why couldn’t you go through with having sex with Jerse”

“I told you, I-” she stopped when she felt him lean closer, his breath making her hair flutter a bit.

“You said superficial appreciation wasn’t a good substitute for what you want. So, what is it you want?” he asked.

You, she thought to herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to be that bold. She was too flustered at his closeness. “I want to be valued, loved.”

His thumbs were tracing little circles into her skin as he leaned closer, so that his mouth was at her ear. “By anyone?” She shook her head. “By someone specific?” He felt like he was getting impossibly closer. She nodded in response, feeling her hair graze his face lightly. “Who?” he asked.

Her heart was pounding so hard it was almost deafening, maybe that’s what led her to be so bold, she couldn’t hear her mind trying to be rational. She turned her head and was met with his adoring face, staring at her like she was the only person on the planet. She couldn’t bring herself to say it, instead she just took her eyes from his own down to his lips, licking her own subconsciously. For once, Mulder picked up on her subtle hints exactly like she wanted him to. He leaned closer as she did the same, stopping when their lips met for the first time.

Though it was their first kiss, it felt overwhelmingly familiar. She presumed if you imagined something for so long about someone you knew so well, you were bound to be accurate about a few aspects. She had always known that he would wait for her to deepen the kiss, and that when her tongue ran along his bottom lip, he would open his mouth as if accepting a precious gift. She knew his hands would roam her body with reverence, only getting confident at her encouragement. After she deepened the kiss, she swiveled her body in his grasp, moving so that they were front to front, his erection making itself known as it pressed eagerly into her abdomen. As she did this, his hands wandered up her shirt, stroking the smooth expanse of her back, fingering the delicate line of her spine like he was strumming a harp. She knew their kisses would only break when the need for breath was too much. She bit his lip gently as she pulled away, watching his eyes open to reveal dilated pupils beaming down at her.

“How could I be with him, when all I wanted was you?” she panted with an exerted voice. She needed to imprint this to her mind; be sweet to Mulder, and he will blush. It was painfully cute watching a sweet smile spread across his face as he looked down at her, a rosy dust spreading across his cheeks. How the night could have gone from tense, ill-placed animosity to this, she would never know. All she knew was that she was grateful to be in his arms right now.

“I’m sorry for earlier. My behavior was uncalled for, I was just scared of losing you,” he lamented, brushing some stray hairs from her face.

“That’ll never happen,” she reassured before crashing her lips back on his for a second time. This time was a bit more frenzied, fueled by their mutual desire to reconcile this past week, mixed with the relief that they had both been operating under misconceptions. His hands were now all the way up her back underneath her shirt, one hand at the base of her neck and the other sprawled across her shoulder blades. From how stretched out her shirt was, she disentangled her arms from the sleeves, glad when he took the hint and helped her out of it, tossing it in the corner of the room.

As soon as her head was free, she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip-toes and suckled at various points of flesh she could reach. His jaw bone, his neck, his pulse point, all eliciting very different, but equally erotic, sounds from Mulder. After one particularly playful nip to his collarbone, he surprised her by bending down and grabbing her around the waist, hoisting her up over his shoulder. “Ah! Mulder!” she playfully giggled from her awkward position. He laughed at her exclamation as he placed her down on the bed.

She laid down on her back, feeling inexplicably racy from the sensation of the bedspread against her bare back and the chill of the air conditioned air against her exposed breasts. Mulder took a moment to appreciate her sprawled, prone form, a sensuous gleam in his eye. He wanted to keep the playing ground fair so, before he joined her on the bed, he lifted his shirt up and off his body, throwing it in the same direction as hers. During his admiration, she lifted a leg off the bed and ran her foot up and down his inner thigh, only blocked by the fabric of his jeans. As he was temporarily blinded by his shirt, she went the extra few inches up and stroked his engorged erection, causing him to buck against her foot.

When his face was revealed, the smile was dimmed, replaced by an expression of poorly repressed pleasure. He practically collapsed on her, keeping most of his weight on his forearms bracketing her small frame. “Scully, are you trying to kill me?” he groaned as her hand kept doing the job her foot had been moments ago.

“No, I have different intentions for you right now,” she teased, switching from stroking to fully groping his cock. As his eyes rolled back with a loud moan, she deftly undid his belt and whipped it off in one fell swoop. As she was going for his button and fly, he grabbed her wrist gently to pause her.

She looked up at him and saw him gazing down at her with intense desire, “We can’t go back after this, are you comfortable with that?” His voice was much deeper than normal and the timbre went straight to her clit.

She lifted her knee a bit to graze him as she soothed, “I’ll never want to go back from this, this is what I want.” Mulder unleashed his feral side at her words and quickly stood up, hooking his fingers under her waistband and taking her sweatpants down her legs. Without taking his eyes off her, he undid the zipper of his jeans and discarded them callously. He put on knee on the bed when he quickly stepped back, realization coming through the cloud of lust.

She was about to ask what he was doing when he held a finger up in the air, instead, she sat up on her elbows and watched as he bent down and grabbed his wallet from the pocket of his jeans. When his wallet was in his hand she watched him look through every compartment, bringing out a plethora of coupons, a rewards card for Blockbuster, some sporadic dollar bills, a picture of herself and one of the Lone Gunmen. He made grunts of displeasure with every failure, but after turning it upside down and shaking it, a lone condom fell to the floor. She couldn’t help but laugh at the struggle he just went through and he looked up at her and gave an amused shrug, “What can I say? I haven’t needed this in years.”

He stood up and walked towards the bed, fiddling with the packaging. Scully sat up on the edge of the bed to meet him, practically face to face with his bobbing erection. “Please, let me do it,” she requested in a throaty voice she barely recognized. He placed the square of foil delicately in her hand. Glancing down at it the wrapper read ‘For her pleasure.’ How thoughtful, Mulder. She brought it to her lips and tore the perforated edge, blowing it out of her mouth and onto the floor. After extracting the condom from the wrapper, she threw the rest of the trash on the floor so she could focus on the task at hand.

Before putting on the condom, she glanced at Mulder’s full length and it was impressive. It twitched playfully in the air under her gaze and she shot Mulder an amused look, only to receive a flirtatious wink. It was already glistening from precum, but she wanted to make sure the shaft was lubricated to make the application easier, so she lifted her free hand and stroked him firmly up and down a few times, coating him in his own lubrication. Mulder bucked involuntarily into her hand and threw his head back.

She felt her body tingling in response to his arousal, and she lifted the condom to his tip and slid it down, utilizing both hands. When she was confident it was on right, she looked up at him coyly, meeting his lust-hooded gaze and placed a sweet kiss to the tip of his erection, never taking her eyes off him.

Within a beat, he swooped down and eased her further onto the bed, setting himself a top of her while groaning, “Fuck, you’re so hot, I love you.”

Her clit throbbed at his words and she arched her shoulders off the bed to capture his lips in another kiss, easing one hand in between their bodies to grab his cock and ease it into her wet heat. He thrust into her a few times experimentally, trying to maintain contact with her lips. She ended up breaking the kiss, her hands shooting to his back in pleasure, trying to encourage him to go faster. Instructions he took without question. He took this moment to finally get to play with her breast, moving both his hands so he could play with kneading them in his palms. A perfect fit. As he did this, he would tweak her nipples, studying her face to see what she liked best and adapting immediately.

She was rocking against him with as much momentum as she could, but it wasn’t enough. With momentum she didn’t know she had, she rocked him onto his back and situated herself on top of him. His face contorted into pure bliss, small beads of sweat gathering on his brow from exertion.

Her entire body felt like it was on fire under his gaze. It felt like she could do anything and he would still cherish her. She placed her palms flat against his chest and started rocking herself. Timidly at first, evaluating how she needed to move to avoid him sliding out of her, but after she got a handle on it, her movements became frantic and wild, riding him like it was the last thing she would ever do.

Mulder’s back arched sinfully off the bed as his head lolled from side to side, lost in pleasure. His hands instinctively shot to her hips and gripped with bruising force, helping her body gyrate on top of his. The sounds they were making were borderline pornographic. Between the relentless moans, pants, and whines and the slapping of his thighs against hers, she was surprised they weren’t getting noise complaints.

Hearing Mulder’s little grunts of pleasures and groans of appreciation made her realize how much the human voice was an aphrodisiac. With every sound, her clit’s need for release became more and more desperate. After a particularly good thrust that hit her g-spot just right, she sank onto him with reckless abandon. Grinding against him so hard they might as well blend into one. She had never been so fully connected to another human being before. Every inch of her crotch and inner thigh was attached to him. His balls were rubbing tortuously against her ass and the friction of her clit against his pubic bone was indescribable.

Her orgasm snuck up on her hard and fast. Her entire body went rigid as she convulsed against him, he was gently thrusting into her to help her prolong her orgasm as he watched her lose herself in rapture. She lazily undulated her body against his until she was spent. She took a moment to catch her breath, gulping in lungfuls of air. “That was the single hottest thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life,” he praised.

She sent him a sated smile and she felt his cock twitch against her clenched muscles in response. “Your turn,” she purred before violently thrusting against him again. This time she eased forward so that her breasts were rubbing against his chest and she could kiss his neck. He wrapped his arms around her back, keeping her pressed to him, as he sat upwards, so they were both upright with Scully on his lap. He started to thrust into her with reckless abandon, a man on a mission, and it was painfully sensual.

He placed a shaky hand to the side of her neck and brought her face down for another kiss, this time, as soon as their tongues touched, he moaned into her mouth and started shaking. She bit his lip before pulling back to watch his orgasm take over him. His jaw was agape in pleasure as his eyes bore into hers. She was just as patient with him as he had been with her, riding him until he was spent.

When he was done they both chuckled shyly at the new, much quieter, volume of the room. He quickly leaned off the bed so he could throw the condom in the trash and grab his discarded t-shirt. He carefully used the shirt to blot her forehead from sweat, followed by his own, before gently putting it between her thighs and wiping her clean, throwing it on the ground afterwards. The amount of care and dedication he took to making sure she was comfortable made her heart ache in happiness.

He yawned and she involuntarily did the same from watching him. The eased themselves under the covers, absolutely sated. She nuzzled closer to him, using his arm as a pillow, and sighed in contentment. Glazing up at him through sleepy eyes she beamed, “I love you too, Mulder.”

The smile that tugged on his lips broke as soon as his eyes peaked open, instead replaced by worry, “Scully, your nose is bleeding.”

#msr #msr smut #msr fanfic #x files fanfic #dana scully #fox mulder #mulder and scully #gaycrouton #onlytheinevitable #my fanfiction #words of lust #never again #ed jerse

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quotespicture · 6 years ago

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https://quoteswithpicture.com/shazam-best-movie-quotes-i-choose-you-as-champion/

Shazam! Best Movie Quotes – ‘I choose you as champion.’

Starring: Zachary Levi, Asher Angel, Mark Strong, Jack Dylan Grazer, Djimon Hounsou, Grace Fulton, Ian Chen, Jovan Armand, Faithe Herman, Cooper Andrews, Marta Milans

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Superhero fantasy adventure based on the DC Comics character of the same name directed by David F. Sandberg. The story centers on 14-year-old Billy Batson (Asher Angel), who once again finds himself in a new foster-family. The troubled Billy is one day confronted by an ancient wizard (Djimon Hounsou), who gives him the power to transform into an older, godlike superhero, Shazam (Zachary Levi), upon uttering the words “Shazam.” Billy and his new foster-brother, Freddy Freeman (Jack Dylan Grazer), must learn how to use his new powers to stop the villain Dr. Thaddeus Sivana (Mark Strong).

REVIEWS

Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 45)

Ms. E.B. Glover: Foster home in Pittsburgh reported you missing two weeks ago. Billy Batson: You sending me back? Ms. E.B. Glover: No. They don’t want you. Billy Batson: [chuckles] Harsh. Ms. E.B. Glover: You laugh, but you’ve run from foster homes in six counties, Mr. Batson. From good people, who want you, all in pursuit of someone who arguably does not. It’s time someone looked you in the eye and told it to you straight. Billy Batson: I don’t need parents to play make believe with. I got a mom. Ms. E.B. Glover: Yes. You’re some detective. Seventy-three Batsons, between the ages of twenty-eight and forty, and you’ve crossed out every one. Billy Batson: She’s still out there. I know it.

Ms. E.B. Glover: There’s a couple outside, Mr. Batson. They run a group home. Billy Batson: I can take care of myself. Ms. E.B. Glover: When you’re eighteen. Until then, I won’t have you living on the streets looking for someone who never looked for you. Give these people a chance, because that’s what they’re giving you. You’re out of options.

Rosa Vasquez: Freddy. This is Billy Batson. Make sure you make him feel at home, okay? Maybe don’t say anything too weird? Freddy Freeman: Oh, one weird thing is you know the Romans used to brush their teeth with their urine? And apparently, it works.

[as Billy looks out the bedroom window] Freddy Freeman: Oh, it’s, uh, it’s a long way down. Trust me, I speak from experience. [he takes hold of his walking crutch and stands] Freddy Freeman: Victor pushed me. They seem nice, but don’t buy it. It gets real Game of Thrones around here. Billy Batson: What? [starts chuckling] Freddy Freeman: Dude, I’m just messing around. It’s, um, it’s terminal cancer, I have three months. [awkward silence] Freddy Freeman: Kidding, again! You look at me and you’re, like, “Why so dark? You’re a disabled foster kid, you’ve got it all.” Right?

[to the Wizard] Dr. Sivana: Do you know what it’s like for a child to be told you’ll never be good enough? No, you don’t. What you said to me all those years ago made me realize who I really was. And you know something? I am not pure of heart.

[Freddy joins Billy at the school diner] Freddy Freeman: Flight or invisibility? If you could have one superpower, flight or invisibility, what would you pick? Everybody chooses flight. You know why? Billy Batson: So they can fly away from this conversation? Freddy Freeman: No, because heroes fly. Who doesn’t want people to think they’re a hero, right? [Billy gets up and leaves] Freddy Freeman: But invisibility, no way. I mean, that’s perfect. Spying around on people who don’t even know you’re there. Sneaking around everywhere. It’s a total villain power, right? [everyone in the diner goes quiet and turns to look at Freddy]

[as Freddy is getting beaten by bullies at school] Darla Dudley: Don’t touch my brother! Burke Breyer: What, you need your fake family to stand up for you? Brett Breyer: Stand up for yourself, man. Burke Breyer: Yeah, huh? [they continue to beat him] Burke Breyer: Here, stand up. Stand up for yourself. Brett Breyer: What are you going to do? Burke Breyer: Go home, cry to mommy? Oh, yeah, you don’t have a mommy. Darla Dudley: Stop hurting him! Billy Batson: Hey! [Billy uses Freddy’s walking crutch to beat the Breyer brothers] Billy Batson: Man, sorry about that. That wasn’t fair, but then again, you don’t play fair, so.

Wizard: Billy Batson. Billy Batson: How did you know my name? Wizard: I am the last of the consul of wizards. Keeper of the Rock of Eternity. Billy Batson: Oh. You’re that guy. Listen, I don’t have any money. Wizard: Do not patronize me, boy! You are standing in the source of all magic. The Rock of Eternity. Seven foes, seven wizards. But long ago, we chose a champion. And we chose recklessly. He used his power for revenge. Releasing the Seven Deadly Sins into the world. Millions of lives were lost. Entire civilizations erased from existence. That is why I vowed never to pass on my magic until I find one truly good person. Strong in spirit. Pure in heart.

Billy Batson: Look, man, maybe this is magic. I don’t know, but the people you’re looking for, good, pure people, I’m not one of them. I don’t know if anyone is really. Wizard: You, Billy Batson, are all I have. All the world has. [slams his staff in front of Billy] Wizard: Lay your hands on this staff. Billy Batson: Gross. Wizard: And say my name so my powers may flow through you. I open my heart to you, Billy Batson. And in so doing, choose you as champion. Billy Batson: Thanks. Don’t scream at me, mister, but I really got to get going. Wizard: My brothers and sisters were slain by the sins. Their thrones lie empty! My magic must be passed on.

Wizard: Now, speak my name! Billy Batson: I don’t know your name, sir. We just met. Wizard: My name is Shazam. Billy Batson: [chuckling] Wait, for real? Wizard: Say it! Billy Batson: Okay! Jeez. [Billy puts his hand the staff] Billy Batson: Should I say it? Like, Shazam? [lightning explodes from the staff] Wizard: Yes! Carry my name, and with it you carry all of my powers. The wisdom of Solomon! The strength of Hercules! The stamina of Atlas! The power of Zeus! The courage of Achilles! And speed of Mercury! [Billy transforms into a grown man godlike superhero] Shazam: What happened to me? Why am…? What did you do to me? What did you do to my voice? Wizard: You have been transformed to your full potential, Billy Batson. With your heart, unlock your greatest power. The thrones of our brothers and sisters await! [he gives Billy his staff and then turns to dust]

[Shazam holds up the sign “Don’t Scream” as he appears outside the window and immediately Freddy screams] Freddy Freeman: Uh, Victor! Victor! Victor! Shazam: No, wait, don’t scream. It’s me! It’s Billy! It’s Billy! You asked me, flight or invisibility? I thought that was stupid, but now I look like this and I need your help! Meet me back here after lights out?

[just after he’s seen Billy as Shazam outside the window] Victor Vasquez: What’s up, bud? You alright? Freddy Freeman: Yeah. Yeah. I’m just, I’m really sad, because Billy’s gone. And, you know, maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I did it. Uh, you know, maybe I snore. [he embraces Freddy] Victor Vasquez: Hey, hey, hey. Not your fault, son, alright? We’ll find him, okay? You don’t snore that bad. But you kind of smell.

Shazam: Look, Freddy, I swear it’s me, okay? Look, I know we’re not really close friends or anything, but you’re the only person that I know that knows anything about this Caped Crusader stuff. Freddy Freeman: That’s Batman. Shazam: What? Freddy Freeman: Forget it. Can I…? Shazam: Oh, yeah, yeah. [as Freddy gets his hands close to the lightning bolt on Billy’s costume, golden electricity comes out] Freddy Freeman: Oh! Oh, my God! Shazam: It’s crazy, right? Freddy Freeman: What are your superpowers? Shazam: Superpowers? Dude, I don’t even know how to pee in this thing! Freddy Freeman: Okay. Can you fly?

[to Billy as Shazam] Freddy Freeman: Electricity manipulation, hyperspeed, super strength! Dude, you’re stacked! You’re as cool as Superman, almost.

Shazam: I’d like to purchase some of your finest beer please. [the store clerk looks at him with boredom and points to where the beers are]

[as they are buying beer] Freddy Freeman: I don’t know about this. I mean, we don’t have a fake ID. Shazam: Freddy, would you relax? Look at me, I am the fake ID.

[confronting the armed robbers at the convenience store] Shazam: Gentlemen, why use guns when we can handle this like real men? [he takes the gun away from the robber as the robber points it at him, then the other robber points] Freddy Freeman: Billy, look out! [the robber shoots him and the bullet falls to the ground] Freddy Freeman: Bullet immunity. You have bullet immunity! Shazam: I’m bulletproof. [Freddy starts filming Billy using his phone] Freddy Freeman: Today is December 8th, and this is video proof of authenticity. Shoot him again. Shazam: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here. [he offers the gun back to the robber] Shazam: Go, both of you. Come on. Go to town. [both robbers start shooting at Billy, but the bullets just ricochet off him] Freddy Freeman: Wait, wait! Wait, wait! We still don’t know if the suit is bulletproof or if you are. [to the robbers] Freddy Freeman: Shoot him in the face. Shazam: Shoot me in the, in the face? [the robbers shoot Billy in the face, and the bullets just ricochet off his face] Shazam: It kind of tickles. [to the robbers] Shazam: You’re dead. [we see the robbers come crashing through the store window]

[as they walk out of the convenience store] Shazam: Sorry about your window. Freddy Freeman: Have a good night. Shazam: But you’re welcome for not getting robbed!

[to the woman passing them by] Shazam: Oh, hey. What’s up? I’m a superhero. Freddy Freeman: Yeah, his name is, uh, Captain Sparkle Fingers. Shazam: No, it’s not. No, it’s not! It’s not my name! Hey, we should hang out. We’re like the same age.

[to Freddy; sitting at the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art] Shazam: I mean, it’s a pretty sick view. I totally get why Rocky was training so hard to get up here.

[they enter Darla’s room] Shazam: I told you this was a bad idea. [Darla turns on the light] Rosa Vasquez: Freddy? [from outside Darla’s room] Rosa Vasquez: Freddy, what happened to the stairs? [Billy as Shazam quickly goes over to Darla and covers her mouth] Freddy Freeman: Hey, covering her mouth like you’re going to kidnap her is not going to make her less scared, okay? [Billy as Shazam takes his hand off Darla’s mouth] Shazam: Darla, it’s me, it’s Billy. I know I don’t look like me. A wizard made me look like this. Freddy Freeman: Maybe don’t start with the wizard, it’s just going to make her more confused. Shazam: Some old guy brought me to a temple, and he made me say, “Shazam.” [just then electricity in the house blows out as Victor is putting the Christmas lights onto the tree] Victor Vasquez: Rosa! [back in Darla’s room Billy has turned back into himself] Freddy Freeman: Verbally triggered body manipulation properties. You can switch by saying, “Shazam!” [back in the living room] Rosa Vasquez: Baby, was that you? Are you okay? Victor Vasquez: Uh, I was screwing in a bulb.

Freddy Freeman: Listen to me, Darla, you cannot tell anybody about this, alright? Darla Dudley: But it’s Billy, he’s the hero. Freddy Freeman: Yeah, but if a supervillain finds out that he’s a hero, that endangers us. Okay, heroes loved ones are like the perfect bad guy target. Billy Batson: Is she even good at keeping secrets? Darla Dudley: Moderate. Freddy Freeman: No. Billy Batson: Oh, God.

Dr. Sivana: What sin best befits you, father? Hm? Mr. Sivana: I’ll give you anything. Money. The company? You want the company? Dr. Sivana: There it is. Greed. Do you honestly think all this material you’ve accumulated amounts to actual power? [referring to his Seven Sins] Dr. Sivana: This is power. More than you ever had. More than anyone has.

[referring to his father] Dr. Sivana: Oh, Greed, you can have him. Mr. Sivana: No. No!

Freddy Freeman: More powerful than a locomotive. Shazam: Locomotive? What are you? An old prospector?

[as he’s walking by people and zapping electricity to their cellphones] Shazam: Your phone’s charged. Your phone’s charged. Your phone’s charged. Freddy Freeman: You know what? You really need like a mic-drop catchphrase after you do something cool. Shazam: I’ve been thinking about that. I was thinking, what about, what about this, “That’s why you don’t mess with electricity.” Freddy Freeman: Catchphrases, obviously, aren’t one of your superpowers. [zapping electricity to the cellphone of the man walking by them] Shazam: And your phone’s charged. [to Freddy] Shazam: Well, you think you could do better? [the man’s phone’s explodes] Pissed Off Phone Owner: What the hell?!

Realtor: A lair? Freddy Freeman: Yes. And obviously, we’re going to have to be making this purchase anonymously. Realtor: Obviously. Freddy Freeman: And, um, if you have a location like on a cliff, like a castle-esque type thing. Shazam: Overlooking some water. Freddy Freeman: Overlooking some water, seas below it. Rough, you know. Shazam: Like a waterfall, so you can, like drive into… Freddy Freeman: Then we’ll take, waterfall! Yeah, if you have a water, Yeah.

Shazam: Dude, did you see that? Freddy Freeman: Yeah, you electrocuted a bus and almost killed these people. Shazam: And then I caught it! Freddy! I caught a bus with my bare hands, man. I caught a bus like people catch fly balls. Like who does that? I do that.

Freddy Freeman: Billy, you do nothing, you take selfies and make people pay you. You know what, forget it. I can’t really talk to you when you look like this. Shazam: You just wish it was you. Freddy Freeman: No shit. You think? I would kill to have what you have. Because everything I do is like some desperate attempt to get people to notice me, to not feel sorry for me. I mean, look at me. Look at me. Do you even see me? Because most people don’t, because they don’t want to. And now you don’t either. I mean, you think this is who you are? I mean, Billy, you’re fourteen. And now you’re no better than the Breyers. All this power, and all you did was turn into a showoff and a bully. [Freddy turns and walks off] Shazam: Whatever, kid. I do what I want! And I’m like mid-twenties, probably. Maybe even like thirty.

Dr. Sivana: Chosen one. The so called perfect man. Pure of heart. Flawless in every way. What made you so worthy? Shazam: I’m sorry, can I help, can I help…? Do you want a autograph or something? Dr. Sivana: Give me your power, or die. Shazam: Oh, snap. You’re like a bad guy, right?

Shazam: Look, before this gets really stupid for you, you should know that I’m basically invincible. [he punches Billy and throws him onto a police car] Dr. Sivana: The weapons of man draw no blood from our kind. The only thing that extinguishes magic is magic. Time to transfer your power to me. [Billy punches Sivana] Shazam: Oh, you did not see that one coming, did you, grandpa? Them’s street rules!

Dr. Sivana: Billy. Where is he? Freddy Freeman: Um, supervillain. Supervillain! Supervillain! Dr. Sivana: Worse. Much worse. Freddy Freeman: Radioactive anthromorph. Psychic energy manipulator. [Sivana nods his head] Freddy Freeman: I won’t let you read my mind. My mind is blank. You can’t get in. Dr. Sivana: I don’t need to read your mind. Because you are going to tell me. Where is he?

Dr. Sivana: Good boy. Because that’s all you are, isn’t it? How old are you? Shazam: Basically, fifteen.

[Billy uses his powers to transport himself and his siblings and they end up at a strip club] Darla Dudley: Why are you covering my eyes? Mary Bromfield: Really? This is the first place you think of? Wow! Shazam: You’re welcome. Darla Dudley: Why can’t I see what’s inside? Mary Bromfield: You are not old enough. Darla Dudley: Old enough to know that was great music.

[as they all touch the Wizard’s staff] Shazam: Say my name. Freddy, Pedro, Eugene, Mary, Darla: Billy! Shazam: No, not my name. No. Say the name that I say to turn into this guy. Freddy, Pedro, Eugene, Mary, Darla: Shazam!

[after Shazam uses the Wizard’s staff to turn his sibling to superheroes and help fight Sivana] Superhero Freddy: Dude, I’ve studied the fighting techniques of every single superhero. What do you got? [one of the Seven Sins extends his claws] Superhero Freddy: Well, that’s terrifying. [Superhero Freddy turns and runs off]

Dr. Sivana: Enough games, boy. You think a pack of children can… [Shazam can’t hear him from where he is stood] Shazam: Wait, what?! Dr. Sivana: You will beg for mercy as I feast on your heart slowly… Shazam: Are you making some like big evil guy speech right now or something? You’re like a mile away from me right now. There’s cars and trucks… Dr. Sivana: I will have the world eating out of the palm of my hand… Shazam: All I see is mouth moving. I don’t hear any… Dr. Sivana: Only I have the power to unleash… Shazam: Oh, whatever, screw it.

[to one of the Seven Sins] Superhero Freddy: You’re not going to believe this, but you’re actually the first villain I’ve ever fought. It’s like kind of a huge deal for me.

[after Shazam removes Eye of Sin from Sivana] Shazam: Here’s the thing about power. What good’s power if you got nobody to share it with? Superhero Mary: Nice. Superhero Freddy: Ta-da. Superhero Pedro: That’s disgusting.

[looking at the Eye of Sin in his hand] Shazam: What’s that? I can have anything I’ve ever wanted? Superhero Mary: Billy, no. Superhero Freddy: No, no, no, no! [Billy looks like he’s going to place the Eye of Sin in his head, but then starts laughing] Shazam: You should hear yourself. Superhero Mary: That’s not funny. Shazam: What, did you think I’m going to put a demon ball in my head? That’s disgusting. Superhero Mary: It’s not funny. Superhero Eugene: Pretty funny. You got me going.

Superhero Freddy: You guys know what this place is, right? Superhero Darla: A dark haunted cave with demon statues. Superhero Freddy: Well, yes, but also… Shazam: Lair! We got a lair! Superhero Mary: Lair. Superhero Freddy: Yeah. We got a lair. Superhero Darla: What’s a lair?

Newscaster: And thanks to six superheroes, citizens are back in their homes safe again with their families. And here with an eyewitness account of the events… [suddenly a mall Santa grabs her microphone] Mall Santa: It was f***ing crazy, man! Creatures from f***ing hell! Lightning coming out of everyone’s f***ing everything. And that is not f***ing cool, man…

[as Freddy is having lunch by himself at school, Mary, Pedro, Eugene and Darla come to join him] Freddy Freeman: What are you guys doing here? Mary Bromfield: Well, we’re having lunch with you. Freddy Freeman: But you guys have different lunch periods. Mary Bromfield: Well, we made a very special arrangement. Freddy Freeman: Darla, what’s going on? Darla Dudley: Why are you asking me? [just then Billy as Shazam enters the diner] Shazam: Freddy Freeman! [everyone in the diner is shocked] Shazam: This guy taught me everything I know about being a dope superhero. True story, you should get some pointers from him. [he sits next to Freddy] Shazam: What’s going on, my best bud in the whole world? And also new kids that I’m meeting for the first time, but seem very cool. Uh, I invited another friend, I hope that’s okay. [Superman enters the diner and walks over to Freddy’s shock and awe] Freddy Freeman: Huh!

[mid-credits lines; an imprisoned Sivana is writing symbols all over his cell walls] Mister Mind: [laughing] Primitive symbols. You walking, talking monkeys with your cave drawings. You assume there’s only one means to gain magic. No, no, no. There are more ways than a mind can imagine. Dr. Sivana: What in God’s name? Mister Mind: I name the gods, doctor, not the other way around. Oh, what fun we’re going to have together. The Seven Realms are about to be ours. [does an evil laugh]

[trying to talk to a fish to see if he has telepathic communication with fishes] Shazam: Don’t beat yourself up, buddy. You’re going to find someone. Yeah, I’m sure, because there’s plenty of fish in the sea! [starts laughing] Shazam: Of course it’s not real, I can’t talk to fish! Even if I could, I mean honestly, what could we do with that that’s cool? Freddy Freeman: I don’t know, maybe command an army of billions in the ocean? [he points to his Aquaman t-shirt] Shazam: Oh, yeah. Well, that’s not that cool.

Total Quotes: 45

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