#peace is for the weak so we must be strong and kill them all

[goldenhydreigon47]

Welp, congrats everyone!

Because of your ineptitude, cowardice, and failure to shoot properly, the dictator is back in power.

This is all YOUR fault. None of you even tried to use violence to go against him as I correctly stated we should and this is what happens.

This is your fault. I hope you all understand as America begins to fall into a totalitarian dictatorship again.

If I have to stand up and kill Trump myself, I will. I do not lack the cowardice like you all do.

And then, I will kill myself only once his whole cabinet is slaughtered and destroyed.

Use me as a martyr to begin the rightful genocide of all Republicans. We need to put them six feet underground, where they belong.

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Under the moonlight

I'm such a slutttttt for thinking of this with Sekido OH MY GODDDDD😩😩

Warnings: fem!reader, fluff to smut, reader is described to be black, demon reader, reader is sekido's lover, mention of insecurity (on sekido's part), public sex, vanilla sex, soft dom Sekido, praising, dirty talk (kinda) , breeding kink(?), oral (reader receiving), aftercare

Sekido's mission from his master took him a while to complete. Much longer than he predicted. When an upper rank is given a task by muzan, they must drop all personal issues to do as he says or eles a heay punishment would be done, even death.

This was something Sekido explained to you earlier in the relationship, but it wasn't an issue for you. Sekido has strict rules for you when he's leaves on a mission, one of them being you can't leave the cottage he leaves you at. He doesn't tell you to be controlling, but he doesn't give you a reason.

Under his constant state of anger and rage, he just wants to protect you. You're a demon, yes, but you're not as strong as him, far too kind to humans and demons and would rather reason with them than kill them. Sekido often scolds you for being this way and calling it weak. However, you give him peace, and he would do anything to protect his peace.

Sekido is walking to the cottage he last saw you but his mind begins to be filled with negative thoughts. It angers him to have these feelings when he comes back from a mission but he can't help but wonder if you managed to find someone eles.

His brothers teased him about his relationship with you during their mission, more than usual even. "I'm surprised swset y/n stayed with you for this long," Karaku said "yeah your other lovers couldn't take your consent anger." urogi laughed. "That's mean Urogi. We are clones of a certain emotion. Maybe y/n just deals with, " Aizetsu said.

As much as it angered Sekido, he couldn't help but agree with his brothers. They knew they were clones, but Sekido questioned why someone like you could like someone like him. Despite him always being easily angered, he tries his best to be soft with you and only you, yet these thoughts wouldn't leave his mind, and he walks quicker, more eager to see you than ever.

Before he knew it, he was at the cottage. He flew open the door, walking so hard it his loud stomps could he heard by anyone in the small house. He searched all over the house until he made it to the backyard, seeing you sat down in the meadow picking the flowers and putting them I'm your afro.

Before he could call out your name, you looked over your shoulder. "Welcome back," you smiled at him sweetly. Sekido couldn't help but sigh in relief to see you're doing okay. "Your senses have gotten better," he said, heading towards you, but you only giggled. "It was your staff that gave it away. It's pretty loud when you walk with it, " you said, looking up at your boyfriend standing before you.

Sekido didn't say a word. He kept his eyes locked on you. It felt like he's been gone forever he didn't know the right words to respond to your welcome. You crawl towards him and hug his leg. "I've missed you so much, Sekido. How was your mission?" You asked resting your cheek on his thigh, looking up at him with your pretty eyes. "Let's go inside. I'd like to hear about your mission" you said.

"Can I touch your hair?" He asked, sounding so much calmer than ever you couldn't help your smile from growing wider. "Of course you can." Once you gave him the okay, Sekido started to play with the coils in your afro gentle and then leaning forward to caress your face with his hand. You rest your cheek in his touch, looking at him with puppy eyes.

"I'd rather stay here." Sekido sits down next to you and picks a flower. "You look like you were just getting started with this style. I'd be mad if you didn't finish what you started" he said and put the flower in your afro "lets continue to make this crown look pretty" Sekido smiled softly making you squeal, hiding your face in your palms.

Sekido manages to tell you how his mission went while you both finished putting flowers in your afro, but you noticed something was off. His explanation seemed almost dry, like he's leaving the little details out on how he felt this whole time the two of you were apart.

"Sekido. What aren't you telling me? " Your hand rests on his, but his face turned away from you. "I just told you, didn't I? I hate repeating myself-" he stops when he turns to see your smile go away. He sighed. "My brothers were just annoying. Saying shit about you being too good for me, but who cares we're demons. We come and go, " Sekido said.

Tears started to fill your waterline and then stream down your face. Sekido panicked a little, his eyes widening and immediately taking your hand. "Stop that. What did I say to make you cry?" He asked with genuine concern. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to find another demon to be with, you're the only one I want Sekido" you started to sob, holding his hand to your chest.

"I don't understand y/n. You're such a sweet and gentle woman. Much different than me, wouldn't you be happier with someone like you? You're so kind to everyone, but I'm only kind to you. I've yelled at you and even gotten angry with you, not just because im a clone but without proper reason. I'm making you cry," he makes a worried yet angered face. "I'm only crying because you forgot how much i love you," you sniffle.

"I love the kind man who's always angry but learned how to be so kind to me," you kissed his hand. "the man who puts in the effort and tries to be kind to others just for me, the man who helped me make this flower crown and the man who's done so much to protect and love me for me. So please, Sekido. Don't listen to your brothers. I feel at peace when I'm with you," you sob.

"I'm sorry." Sekido places both his large hands on your face, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. "I'm sorry," he apologizes again, beginning to kiss your sweet face, tasting your tears on his lips. "I did not forget your love for me... I was foolish and not thinking straight. So stop crying.. I never want to see you cry like over something so stupid. " he kisses you again, and then time kisses your lips.

Sekido pulls back, letting the tip of his nose touch yours. "Are you done crying?" He asked, and you nodded your head in his hold with your lips pouted. Sekido snarls a bit, figuring out how to make you smile and just starts to rub his nose on yours "smile. Smile damnit, this tickles, " he said, rubbing his nose harder on yours, making you both fall back accidentally.

You burst out laughing and wrap you arms around his neck "that's not how you nose kiss!" You continue to laugh only for Sekido to get flustered and hide his face in your boobs. You pet his head when he suddenly shoots his head up with his hands at your sides "your hair will flatten at the back if you lay like that" he said and you only shake your head "I'll just use my pick to fix it" you smiled.

"I'll fix it for you," Sekido's voice softens as he leans in to kiss you. Your eyes closed, and your hands cupped his cheeks to kiss him back. Sekido began to close the gap by pressing his body weight down on you more, fitting himself perfectly between your thighs, and started to caress you thigh. He feels your smile in the kiss and pulls back slowly "what's so funny?" He asked.

"You're being so touchy. Wouldn't you rather go inside for this?" Your hands caress his chest, slipping a hand in his kimono to feel his warm skin. Sekido couldn't hold himself back and started to grind his lower half, pressing his cock against your pussy "I've missed you" he said opening his kimono more for you to touch at his chest and little it slip off his shoulder "I want to you. Right here, " he kisses you again, grinding harder, making you both let out a soft moan. "Can I?"

"Of course you can"

Sekido takes his kimono off, being naked over you and folds it. "Lift your head up," he said. You lift your head up for him to place his kimono under your head for comfort. "Thank you." You said and he nods. "Just lay back and let me take care of everything." Sekido starts to undo your kimono, exposing your naked body.

Your eyes closed in his touch. His large hands touching your thighs, moving up to your hips, caressing your love handles and eventually up to your boobs. Sekido postions himself and starts to lick at your nipple and takes it between his lips. His eyes stayed locked on you as he watches your body respond to his touch "feels good?" He asked and you nod quickly.

"I want words," his fingers play and inches with your other nipple making you open your eyes. "Does it feel good?" He asked again and rolls his tongue over your nipple making you whimper softly. "Yes, it feels so good, " you said, and your hips started to move in small circles under him Sekido takes notice and moves his hand down between the two of you to rub his fingers at your clit and down between your folds. "So wet for me already" he said continuing to play with your pussy and sucking on the other nipple.

Your mouth opens up more in a 'o' shape woth your moans growing louder. "S-sekido please, can I cum?" You beg "gonna cum already? If you're going to cum I want it on my tounge" he said and slowly starts to kiss down your body. "My beautiful woman." Sekido kisses down to your stomach, giving your lower half a lick and grins when you shiver.

"Always so beautiful for me," he said and kissed your inner thighs, then threw your thighs over his shoulder. "But you look even more beautiful under the moonlight." He gets to your pussy, giving your clit a soft kiss before giving you a long lick and grips onto your thighs when your back arches.

"Sekido," you moan his name, running your fingers through his hair. "That feels so good," you bit your lip. He hums in response, moving his head and tongue in rhythm with your hips moving and bucking in his face. For a moment, you look away, Sekido eyes intensely locked on you. He growls lowly when you look away and grip onto your thighs hard when he flattens his tounge on your clit and apply more pressure.

You gasp with a moan, and you thighs, shaking in his grip. You look at him again, knowing Sekido wants to watch him when you cum on his tounge. You felt shy at the idea, yet your mouth hangs open, moaning from his tongue licking at your throbbing clit. His fingers rub between your wet folds before he thrusts them inside.

Sekido moans, his cock twitches just from feeling your wet walks clench on his fingers. He let's his slavia fall from his tounge on your clit as he starts swirling his tounge in circles over your clit while thrusting his fingers upset and curling them to hit your spot.

"Sekido! S-sekido right there," you whimper and your legs trying to stay open, getting close to your high. Sekido holds your hand, still keeping his eyes on you, seeing the desperate look to cum on your face and tears filling your water line. He grins fingering you faster and feeling your hand grip onto his until your eyes shut and cumming on his tounge.

Sekido let's you clam down from your orgasm and then slowly pulls his fingers out of you. He watches your body fall back with heavy breaths follow3r by moans when he starts to lap up your juices and licks his lips. "Usually, I'd punish you for looking away from me. However I'll let it go this time" he smiles and sits up, spreading your legs open as he grinds his hard cock on your wet pussy.

"I need you" he whispers making his tip tease your clit and watches your hips move up and down. You moaned when He puts his tip inside then slowly thrusting his length inside letting out a deep sigh "fuck baby" he whispers, bottoming out and hummed when he fully gets inside you. "Are you ok?" He asked, and you nodded.

"I've never forgotten your love and I never will" he kisses your jawline "let me show you how much I fucking love you" Sekido presses his chest on your boobs and starts thrusting his hips slow, giving you deep strokes. "Oh my god" your head falls back, moaning at the feeling of his cock so deep inside already hitting your spot and your hands on sekido's broad musclar back, holding onto him as he makes love to you.

"You make me feel so good." Sekido lowly gunts as his thrusts start to increase. "You're moans, drive me crazy. Your pretty moans" he said and wraps his arms around you, his thrusts getting faster and he gasps softly when he feels your walls squeeze his cock tighter. "I love you," Sekido takes your hands away from his back and holds them tightly. "I love you, I love you," he whimpers and presses his lips on yours kissing you with tounge.

You could only hum in response. Sekido and you moan in the sloppy kiss, your hands holding his and your legs wrapping around his waist. "S-sekido!!" You manged to say in the kiss with a whine and he pulls back with saliva connecting you two for a moment "i-im gonna cum- gonna cum! Cum inside me please" you begged.

"You always ask so sweetly. I'll fill you up just how you always like it." Sekido moans followed by a slight growl as he snaps his hips faster. His hands let go of yours but still wrapping around your body, holding you close as he kisses you and groans in pleasure he felt your nails dig into his back.

You let out a long whine in the kiss as you cream on sekido's cock holding onto him tightly through your orgasm. Sekido couldn't help the whimper escaping his throat as he filled you up and broke the kiss. "I love you so much." He said breathlessly

Sekido takes you back into the cottage. The night was ending, and you two needed to have sanctuary from the sunlight and decided to stay at the cottage for another day.

Once inside, he takes a bath with you. After the bath, you sat in the chair in the bedroom, getting ready for Sekido to put your hair in braids for the night. Once he was done, he put your bonnet on your head himself and then kissed your forehead.

"Tomorrow night, how about we find a different meadow on our way home to put different kinds of flowers in your hair?" He asked.

You got up and hugged him tightly. "I'd love that"

[cienie-isengardu]

Clone troopers & the movie “Soldier” (1998)

I’ve talked a lot about why I hate the chip-in-brain storyline of New Canon but today I want to present an old film that is probably forgotten as it was made 20+ years ago but one that presents my point of view well. I watched the Soldier (1998) as a kid, so naturally what Attack of the Clones did not explain about the life of clone troopers my mind filled in, drawing inspiration from this film.

The story is simple one, but varies greatly from other movie action, as there is no great ideology or strong moral sense behind our main hero, just a life-long training that made him equally a great soldier and traumatized, vulnerable man. A man that slowly rediscover his humanity by interacting with people who see him as a human being.

Greatly important was the opening sequence, in which we have an actual look into the stages of training that shaped our main hero, the sergeant Todd. And so we have: 

Year Zero (1996)

Babies are chosen for the military secret project.

Year Five

We can see 5 years old children sitting in “classroom” (all silent and so un-childly obedient) while voice is telling them repeatedly:

A soldier does not speak until spoken to by a superior officer. A soldier shows no mercy. Mercy is weakness. Weakness is death. The Forces are his family. He is most happy when following orders. A soldier lives to kill. A soldier needs no friend or family. War is his friend. The Forces are his family.

while the  kids are forced to watch how three dogs sicced on a boar kill the wild animal.

The one kid that turned his head is forced to watch by the “trainer”

The kids and their reactions are  observed by the military personnel. 

YEAR EIGHT

The children silently sit in the classroom solving the intelligence test while still watched and judged by military personnel. 

On the wall we can see alphabet letters, for example:

O - obey

N - nuke 

M - murder 

S-shoot

Known Chem/Bio (weapon) Which gives a pretty good idea what the children are taught there, at the 8. years old. How to kill and obey.

YEAR TWELVE

We see children running in silence - the one kid that is not physically fit to keep up with the group is killed. The children (and the viewers) can hear the shooting noise. None of the kids stop or panic, they keep running without a world or looking back.

YEAR SIXTEEN

We see the young cadets on the shooting range. They are shooting at the “enemy” while some “targets” are presented as civilians / unarmed women.

Then we are shown a “woman with child” and enemy hiding behind her.

One cadet hesitated but the main hero (cadet Todd) shot without a second thought, as killing civilians to kill the enemy was an acceptable loss.

YEAR SEVENTEEN - end of training

the cadets are tattooed with their name & number on the face and

in the YEAR THIRTY-EIGHT

They are already either veterans of many fights or killed on the mission. We as viewers are literally shown how those men came from one military conflict to another without any word or mercy for enemy and poor civilians who were unlucky to be in the way)

Those soldiers don’t know peace, when they aren’t fighting they are “between wars”.

No talking, no fun, all silent and disciplined ready for another control with no real personal belongings or space.

And once the military can provide a much better, physically stronger and easier to “breed” soldiers by using clones, Todd is discarded like some kind of trash. 

Another interesting thing that the movie did is the contrast between Todd on the battlefield (an effective soldier) and Todd between civilians (alerted, not speaking unless spoken to). He barely speaks to people who take him into their house, and when he does, it is a very spartan style of speech - short and to the point. When asked what it feels to be soldier, the movie provided this dialogue:

Sandra: Sergeant Todd what's it like? What's it like being a soldier? Todd (not answering):  Sandra: What do you think about? You must think about something. Todd (not answering):  Sandra: What about feelings, then? You must feel something. Todd: Fear.  Sandra: "Fear?'" Todd: Fear and discipline. Sandra: Now? Todd: Always.

And in all honesty, I prefer to see clone troopers similar to sergeant Todd - as very good soldiers but also traumatized men that rediscover their humanity after years of dehumanization rather than dealing with the TCW/Disney’s nonsense of chip-in-brain as excuse for Order 66.

[bonefall]

elder bones, what made you want to turn the politics of warriors into a story of anti-fascism? or, at least a part of the story is.

A mix of family and friends I've lost to radicalization + personal experience with the alt-right pipeline after a painful religious deconversion + frustration with how I feel parts of canon's messaging fall into authoritarian talking points

WC as a series is pro-xenophobia and even, sometimes, dips into outright eugenics. I don't know if the books contributed to where I ended up, but I do know that they were in my head a lot in a time I was vulnerable. The way that it treats foreigners and outsiders was particularly painful, especially the Tribe.

Over and over again, we see a pattern in the series where the Clan cats are superior to other cultures, and all their internal problems are caused by Born Evil cats or Barbarous Foreigners. Groups that are peaceful (Tribe) are borderline incompetent, needing to be saved over and over. Culturally, Clan cats are framed as superior by the narrative, with a way of life that is fragile and must be protected against outside threats. Their God is infallible, even when we see it fuck up and act maliciously over and over, but you're meant to ignore that.

Scourge shows up in the last book of TPB, one-shots Tigerstar, and presents BloodClan as love-and-friendship-hating foreigners that pose an existential threat to the Clans. A common enemy to unite against, who will destroy your culture, your people, if not stopped. In a final effort, Firestar rejects his kittypet roots once and for all and embraces his destiny. The Clans win in the end because of their superior religion and Clan bonds, and then... the alliance falls apart immediately, returning to petty squabbles because they don't have a supreme force to fight against.

The enemy is both strong and weak. Fear of difference. Action for action's sake.

The 'lazy' and disabled are treated like burdens who need to find something 'useful' to give their society, with bigotry towards them not challenged, but 'corrected.' "Actually they're NOT useless, they help do X thing sometimes!" You could argue that Jaypaw is displaying internalized ableism when he's insulting Longtail and Brightheart, and that's a fun reading, but that's not called out in the text or even really addressed.

Certainly wasn't my takeaway, when I was young and stupid and in a bad environment. So in my own head, I'm not putting themes in it that weren't there before; I'm subverting what I feel is written on the page.

(intentional or not, mind you. I don't think the writers are pro-authoritarian, I think writing xenofiction brings out subconscious biases. You write the world the way you think it "naturally" is, and that can be revealing.)

WC says that its villains were born with a 'darkness' inside of them, and with their deaths, "peace" (a normal amount of killing each other over rocks) can be restored. And I'm saying, instead, the darkness is in Clan culture itself.

So, that culture needs to change. Just like it has in the past, just like it will in the future, as is the nature of a living culture. Until then, the set of ideas they call "Thistle Law" is a sickness, a weed, and it needs to be cleared away with radical ideas.

[romancomicsblog]

Sinister Six: How Sony can make a halfway decent film & universe

It's no question that Sony has been floundering while attempting to make a cinematic universe without Spider-Man.

With the exception of the Venom films, Sony has continuously made ridiculous decision after ridiculous decision when making this universe. From making Madame Web separate from the others and in the past, to the lead of Morbius being Leto, to the potential El Muerto spin-off, it has been one headass move after another.

It doesn't seem like Sony has any potential for stopping. With the end credits scene of Venom The Last Dance setting up Knull as the Thanos of this B-list supervillain universe.

While having Knull as the main antagonist isn't a bad idea, the characters they'd set up are all over the place. Not to mention they barely resemble the Sinister Six we know in the comics.

Can Sony make a dynamic team, full of characters we care about, with different personalities and motivations and make a satisfying film?

Probably not. But I have a couple of ideas to help them.

First, let's breakdown the team, their roles in the film, and on the team. Most will be characters we know, but I will also be pitching two new members of the team, actors to portray them, and how it can fit into an overall narrative.

The Lead - Tom Hardy: Eddie Brock

With Knull as our main villain, Eddie will be our main hero. As we know Knull in The Last Dance is looking for Eddie and Venom because they hold the Codex.

In this story, after Venom has sacrificed himself, Eddie is now reporting in New York City again, mostly writing, content overall but missing his buddy. His only problem? He is having intense nightmares.

Knull is in his mind, threatening and haunting his mind, determined to find a way to the Codex, escape his realm and destroy our world. Why? We'll get to it.

What we will find out eventually is Eddie still has traces of Venom within him. Not enough to be Venom but enough for him to be connected to Knull, and even potentially recreate the Codex within him.

These fragments will be reignited, to turn Eddie into....

Anti-Venom.

This version could feel like Venom, but more positive and balanced, or like in the comics, a non being, a suit without a personality, given Eddie more peace.

The Skill - Aaron Taylor Johnson: Kraven the Hunter

While we are unsure where Kraven will end at the end of his film, I have a solid idea. Kraven will continue being this big game hunter, looking for the ultimate hunt.

We will find him in Area 51, looking for the ultimate killing machine.

After finding evidence of the Xenophage, Kraven will be looking for any traces of one, putting him on a direct course to Eddie in New York.

Kraven will be one of the few able to kill Xenophages, with his strength and skill he'll be able to understand their weak points and lead our team in the fight. If Venom is our Tony Stark, Kraven will be the teams Captain America. He's tactical and essential for the fight.

The Outsider - Michael Keaton: The Vulture

While this is one of my favorite characters on this list, this one was one of the hardest to fit into the film.

Vulture had an incredible debut in Spider-Man Homecoming, as a criminal with strong ties and motivations to his family. So that's what we're going to keep.

Adrian Toomes will also be a pivotal reason why Knull is coming, directly tying him into this.

When we see him next, he's trying to scrap together parts for two reasons: 1) to go home and 2) to contain his monster. Who is that?

The Monster - Jared Leto or whoever we want to recast: Morbius

After their proposed team up, Morbius became a liability, killing and even became a threat to The Vulture. Vulture decided very early on to contain Morbius for his safety and the safety of others, but couldn't do it without help. Who is help? We will see.

Morbius will be in monster form throughout the film, and be the least trusted, but also the must crucial in the fight. He will turn the tide, against the Xenophages.

But who is helping contain him?

The Brains - Doctor Octopus

The next film in this franchise should easily be Doctor Octopus. He is often on the Sinister Six team, and is a fan favorite character.

In this version, Otto Octavius is the lead scientist for Smythe Robotics, where he is fired in order for the Founder, Alistair Smythe, takes credits for his "Slayers".

Otto then has a psychotic break, and uses a design he created as a potential prosthetic and creates a powerful weapon. This revenge story will end with Otto killing Smythe and being locked up.

The end credits will have the Vulture breaking Otto out to contain Morbius.

Otto will be working on a number of projects in this film, including bringing out Antivenom, working on opening up the multiverse, for Vulture but for his own gain, and how to summon Knull. We'll get there.

I think Cameron Britton of Mindhunter, Shrill & Umbrella Academy would be the kind of energy I'm looking for, but I'm open to suggestions.

So Doc Ock is with Vulture & Morbius, and Kraven finds Eddie. Who is the fifth member, and how does everyone meet?

The Cyborg - Silver Sable

A Silver Sable project has been in the works for a while, usually as a Black Cat and Sable team up. I think Sable should have a revenge story going after her gang leader father, Silvermane.

By the end of the film, I want Sable to be saved by the same advanced Robotics her father used, upgrading herself but losing some humanity.

Kraven will track her down as the only other muscle he knows of in New York, and Doc Oak will find her to use her technology to advance his projects. Once they all realize their interests align, they will come together to find our major threat.

I'd love Halle Bailey to get some love. She has a kindness to her that is great, and has great franchise potential as a lead.

The Story

Knull throughout this film will continue to send Xenophages. While he is unsure where Eddie is, he knows he's in New York due to the visions Eddie is getting.

Knull wants to destroy this world and take over due to sensing the multiverse has been created. When Vulture came to earth, Knull sensed a much more powerful universe where he would not be able fight what comes.

Fearing his eventual distraction, he wants to escape more than ever, take over the earth and create a new army to fight the "Secret War".

Once everyone is together, Doc Ock comes up with a solution.

Eddie must draw out Knull. With the members here, Morbius the Monster, Doc Ocks reprogramed Slayers, they think the only way to stop the Xenophages is to kill Knull as he is.

Turning Eddie into AntiVenom, AntiVenom will let Knull out, leading to an all out war against the King of Black. Leading to Eddie finally returning as Venom, for the two to bite off Knulls head.

With the team assembled, and the war ended, they use Knulls sword to finally unlock the multiverse and send Vulture home. The rest of our "heroes" look out at the multiverse, deciding what they should do next with their new found power and friendship.

And that's the pitch! It incorporates every character, makes a fun team, and hopefully a satisfying movie.

Thank you for reading! If you like this, be sure to follow me on all my socials here! And let me know what you think: What do you wanna see in a Sinister Six film?

[jessiquinn]

”You are perfect”, “shut up”(reader x cable AKA Nathan Summers)

I wrote this in 2022 or something, I’m kinda proud of it, even though it’s pretty cringe, but I DON’T CARE. CRINGE WITH ME.

Stubborn injured reader x cable (Nathan Summers) one-shot

Warnings:

1-injury, details. 2-cringe. 3-self harm?? 4-magic use. 5-bad writing and editing. 6-self hate. 7-everything.

---------------

You got injured in the last mission but decided on hiding it from everyone, especially Cable... he likes to overreact...

well... it was a long cut on the arm but I can fix it on my own, I don't want them to think I'm weaker than they already think.

it hurts I'm not gonna lie... especially that it's open... fucking hell Acting like there's nothing wrong, "It's strange that you didn't get hurt today, usually, you always get hit" Domino teasing you, "I'm learning," is all you said, "Great because it's about time we arrive in the next mission" looking ahead What.. next mission!! I didn't know about that... shit! everyone got to their position, trying to look fine, "You know what to do, exactly like last time" Cable said looking at every single one of us, “be careful” giving you a glance. heading to your position in the field let's do this! so far everything went well, shooting everything and everyone I see... I need to be good enough for them alright! I can't be weak! shooting the enemy with a strong blast killing 5 at once, "Good shot" Cable said (on the earpiece) Feeling proud of yourself that you didn't notice someone sneaking at you, "dumb bitch" turning around to see one of the enemies that still remains... shit. pointing his gun at you. Fuck... "Throw your earpiece or I'll shoot" he threatened, I did just that, and he smirked. lowering his gun and walking closer to you. what the fuck is happening...

You understood what happened when he touched your thigh... about to attack him "Na, do that and I'll shoot" He kept touching getting higher. what am I supposed to do... I don't know, I am really weak.. see! I can't be alone for 5 seconds without getting hurt! I feel hurt... he took the earpiece from the ground, finally! took the chance and attacked him to the ground, he was strong but the adrenaline rushed through my veins. I can't lose!! finally knocking him out, just now noticing the cut he made on my thigh. so fucking convenient! taking the earpiece "I repeat, back to the plane" Cable said. running there, thankfully it wasn't that deep. the one on my arm tho... it's a different story. "took you long enough,-" cutting her "Shut it!" you said, she was surprised. Domino’s nice to everyone but to me, she defiantly deserved that! walking past everyone to the plane. Deadpool sat next to you, this is weird. "pst... pstt" looking at him, "Y/n... I'm sorry I couldn't reach you in time" he said feeling extremely bad. "what are you talking about" Looking at him, his face turned into a sad frown. "I saw what happened, I couldn't reach you, I’m sorry", "well you saw wrong because nothing happened, plus even if it happened... it's not your fault" looking at the window. he kept quiet then, "If you ever want to talk about it.. you can come to me" why does he care so much... "I... sure.. thanks Wade" the truth is he always had a soft spot for you, after you left running he shot him in the crouch just to make sure... he'll die... slowly you slept for the rest of the flight, finally arrived, heading straight to your bedroom, closing the door behind you, Sigh... finally.. peace and quiet. going to the mirror revealing the cut that had become worse than before... it might need stitches. everyone here has self-healing but me, god.. why did you make me this weak... if I go to the infirmary they'll all know that I got injured for the millionth time.

I got an idea!! what about that magic book we have in the library, it must have a spell in it to fix this mess. going to the library, searching for the book. it was well hidden but I got it, no one knows about this book but me, well.. as far as I know.

sprinting to your room before anyone notices you, "Yn," turning to see its cable, "hi..." He's always scary... he's smart and perfect. he's perfect for a leader... "5 minutes, in the living room" serious as always.

going back to your room and locking the door... I'm not a magician but I'll try.

searching for a spell that will heal my injuries, or at least cover them well enough that I can last for a couple of missions. there's one here... "esaelp dnuow diputs ym Lael!!" the room started to get messy but my wound started to disappear!!!

after a couple of minutes of healing, I looked at my injury... it's not there anymore, running to the meeting... The thing is... it's too good to be true.. right? Next day I felt great pain, coughing... my forehead is burning. on top Of that we have a mission today. How am I going to hide this from them? I'm going to be kicked out of the team, For sure... nobody wants a burden after all... I made it worse than it is.

inspecting the injury, it looks purple. reading through the book again... shit! (when used be cautious of your intention, if it was spoiled you will be punished) reading more (the only way to solve the curse is by doing your fear)

skip "Everyone get ready, 9 we will move" cable was a cold man, he always scared me but I don't want to disappoint him... bandaging the wound with anything I got, and taking fever pills. everything felt like a fever dream. while waiting for the others to arrive, cable was there... he was fixing something... focused on what he was doing that you didn't notice that he was looking at you now. he's perfect... like always. unlike me... lost in thought you didn't notice he was walking closer to you. "Yn" He raises your chin to make you look at him. looking into your eyes, almost like reading my soul. "Are you alright?" concerned about me, is this one of the spells jokes? "Yn," he said again, "is everything alright? you look pale"

"I.." suddenly hearing some whistling, it's Wade "DAMN we're late for 5 minutes and this happens wow," Deadpool says while Domino smirks he got off, "let's go" serious like always, I'm sure what happened was a hallucination. my fever is getting worse... after arriving and everyone going to their positions, trying to do your job but your vision is getting worse... 5... I killed 5 so far. 2 are standing... "Yn! Kill them NOW," looking at them, trying to point. thankfully you killed them. sitting on the floor, more like falling on it. your breathing is unstable...this is too much... losing my vision too. "Yn, we need you, Move!"... no response so much pain... should I just end this pain myself or wait for anyone to do it for me, anything would be better than this torture. "Yn! Respond!" does he only know my name or something? fuck this shit! without a thought you started pointing the gun at your head, what the fuck am I doing! is the spell responsible? but overall I can’t stop... maybe... it will be for the best... slowly pulling the trigge-, tackled on the floor. "YN! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" Cable said furious, looking at him clueless.. your head hurting. he took you immediately, carrying you to the plane. everyone asked what happened but he kept quiet, kicking everyone out. taking off your clothes to check for injuries to find unexpected, cuts and deep wounds.

this is not new! this is obviously old, “What the actual fuck yn, why would you hide something like that!” feeling hurt, do they not trust me? he fixed all your wounds and waited for you to wake up, you had lots of explaining to do. --- "I don't want to disappoint you..." "You never disappoint me Yn" "You are perfect, I don't deserve your care" "Shut the fuck up" Happy dumb ending.

---

as I said, I’m sorry for this cringe.

if you have any tips for me please don’t hesitate to tell me!

please reblog 💜

Thank you for reading

[mumms-the-word]

Bound by Blood - Ch. 3

Ch. 3 - Recruited

Characters: Alistair, fem!Surana, Zevran, fem!Tabris, and basically the rest of the DAO crew Plot: Seventeen-year-old Nyssa Surana never expected to find herself a Grey Warden - let alone one of three surviving Wardens, one of which is her own cousin, Velle Tabris. She's the last person anyone would ever choose to save the world. Young, inexperienced, deeply anxious, and only just out of the Circle Tower for the first time in a decade, she's convinced she's as unlikely a hero as unlikely heroes come. But someone has to save Ferelden from the Fifth Blight...and keep her cousin out of trouble...and try not to fall in love with the charming Alistair Theirin, all at the same time. Three impossible tasks, but she's determined to succeed, even with the odds stacked against her. A/N: Duncan offers Nyssa another choice. He thinks she has what it takes to become a Grey Warden...but does Nyssa agree?

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She thought for a moment she would be sick. But the nausea that churned within her was not nearly so strong as when she saw open wounds or festering injuries. Instead, it was a slow, broiling dread within her that sank into the pit of her stomach and came to rest, like a rock on a lakebed.

She had killed him. He was dead by her hand. By her decision. She could hardly make sense of it as reality, and yet the evidence was literally in her hands and lying on the cot in front of her. The soldier was dead.

She didn’t even know his name.

“You did well, Nyssa,” Duncan said softly, as she set the cup and tincture aside and unsteadily got to her feet.

She wiped at her eyes and nodded, though she wasn’t sure she agreed. Her stomach was all twisted inside her, her knees weak, her mind spiraling. She was a murderer. A monster. She was diseased and unclean, just as much as the man she had killed. Maybe moreso. No matter how many times she wiped her hands on her robes, her palms felt tacky with blood that wasn’t there.

And yet, the man’s death brought a strange sense of relief, as well. He looked peaceful now, and there was something reassuring in knowing that she had helped him find that peace.

But she had also taken his life. Her hands administered the tincture, her lips had uttered the lies. How could both things be true at once?

She looked down at her hands, expecting to see a black stain there, but they looked as pale as ever. She crossed her arms tightly, tucking her hands beneath her arms to hide them. From herself or from Duncan, it didn’t matter.

“Is that the fate of anyone who is tainted by the darkspawn blood?” she asked bluntly, her voice still thick with tears, though her eyes were dry now. “I thought the Wardens had a cure for such things.”

“We do, in theory. But it is complicated.”

She looked up at him, then. She must look a sight, with bloodshot eyes and a running nose and blotches of red on her pale skin, but he didn’t so much as bat an eye. “Can it be taught? Can I learn it?”

“Nyssa…”

“I know I could not save this man, but…” She clenched her fists in the fabric of her sleeves and then changed her mind and gathered the fabric of her skirt in her fists instead. “But perhaps I can help those in the future. I want to help those in the future. I don’t want to have to do this again. Ever again.”

Duncan was quiet for a moment, contemplating something as he watched her, but eventually, he nodded. He beckoned her to follow him. “Join me for a moment, will you? We can talk more freely elsewhere.”

She glanced at the dead man in his cot, wondering if she ought to tell the Chantry sisters what had happened, but no. They probably already knew, and if she spoke with them without Duncan at her side, they would surely try to turn her over to the templars for punishment. The thought made her heart seize up with fear. She quickly turned away, hurrying after Duncan as he left the clinic and ventured down to the lower level of the ruins. Despite her rush, her steps were heavy with the weight of her conscience and the slow-building fear that her actions would soon have serious consequences.

She was a murderer now, after all. The thought nearly made her sick.

They left the clinic behind and wandered down to the bonfire where she had first seen Duncan. There, he sat down on a fallen stone column and gestured to the space next to him.

“Sit, if you please.”

Fidgeting with the calming spell bead on her necklace, she glanced over her shoulder at the purple Circle of Magi tents. She could see most of the mages in the spaces between the tents, in the midst of a ritual that consumed all of their attention. Wynne, however, stood apart. She watched Nyssa curiously but didn’t move.

“Here?” she asked, tearing her gaze away from Wynne. “The other mages and the templars will…”

“They will see nothing more than a young woman keeping an old man company,“ he finished for her, smiling faintly. He glanced over at Wynne and gave her a small nod.

Nyssa suspected the other mages and the templars would see a lot more than that if they cared to look. Duncan was no ordinary man, after all. But Wynne had suggested she speak with Duncan in the first place and the two of them seemed to know each other. If Wynne didn’t care, then surely there was no harm.

She sat down reluctantly on the stone column beside him. “With all due respect, Ser Duncan, you’re not that old a man.”

Though he bore a few streaks of gray in his black hair, he was hale, hearty, and admittedly handsome. He reminded her of artistic sketches of Rivaini pirates, while also maintaining the romantic bearing of an experienced knight in a Free Marcher grand tourney. “Old” was perhaps an overstatement on his part, though he said it with a weight of truth she couldn’t quite understand.

He chuckled. “You’re too kind. Now, tell me. Why do you think the Wardens have a cure for the darkspawn taint?”

“Because that is what people say,” she said. “They say that Grey Wardens are resistant to the effects of the taint and that only they can fight darkspawn without having to worry about getting sick from their blood.”

"Do believe everything people say?"

She flushed. "Of course not. I read similar things in the books in the Circle library. And I—I know how to research. Properly. I know how to...consider information critically. I had good tutors and mentors."

He chuckled again, nodding as if to concede the point. “Very well. What else do people say about us? About the Wardens, or our purpose here?”

She hesitated. Not everything people said about the Wardens was good. She had heard quite a lot of negative talk about the Wardens as she wandered Ostagar, grumbles about the Wardens and how close they were to the king, complaints that they did whatever they pleased while no one else had that luxury. But Duncan had asked, and she suspected he'd heard far worse than what she might say about them.

“They say that this army needs you,” she said. “But also that you’re just trying to steal the king’s glory. That you’re heroes, but also that you’re not all that important. That you take in criminals and don’t respect the laws of the land. And that you’re the only ones who can stop the darkspawn threat, whether it is a Blight or not. It's a mix, really.”

That faint smile of his had returned. “What do you believe?”

She frowned. If he had asked her a month ago, when she was still safe in Kinloch Hold, her answer would have been simple, perhaps even naïve. The Wardens are heroes of the Blights. If he had asked her this morning, before the death of that soldier, her answer would have been different, but still reductive. The Wardens are important allies to the king's army and the only ones who know about darkspawn. But he was asking her now.

The Wardens looked different to her now. The whole world did, really.

She looked up at the sky, her view partly clouded over by smoke from Duncan’s bonfire and blocked here and there by bits of the ruins. “I don’t know,” she said. “When we met in the tower, I thought of you like a hero. But what you just asked me to do was...”

She trailed off, that same nausea taking over her again, like a weight in her stomach. She folded her arms over her middle, keeping her gaze on the sky. Heroes didn't ask young women to kill others or imply that they would kill them if she hesitated too long. But at the same time, if death was assured...if all that awaited that soldier was a painful death or a cursed half-life existence...it was a difficult choice. She hated it. She wanted to hate Duncan for forcing her to choose. But she couldn't bring herself to even dislike him. It was a choice borne out of necessity, at least to a point. 

“I think the truth is complicated," she murmured, after a moment. "I think all of it could be true at the same time. I think…”

She paused, her mind taking her back to the very moment when Duncan had directed her to end the man’s life, despite him being a Warden who should, in theory, know how to cure someone of the darkspawn corruption. She took a deep breath. “I think Wardens do what is necessary. Even when it is difficult. Perhaps…especially when it is difficult. But I don’t know if that’s the best answer or even a good answer.”

Duncan’s smile merely grew. He looked at the sky along with her. “It is as good an answer as any, for now.”

Together they watched as a few low-hanging gray clouds sailed aloft overhead, the smoke from the bonfire growing thinner and disappearing the higher it climbed toward the sky. After a few weeks on the road and camping out here among the ruins, she was starting to get a sense of that "scent" people spoke of, the scent that warned of incoming rain. There would be no clear skies for the battle tonight or early tomorrow morning, whenever it came.

She glanced at Duncan as the silence stretched on between them. “You…aren’t going to tell me how to save a person from the darkspawn taint corrupting them, are you?”

He kept his eyes on the sky, but she saw a crooked smirk beneath his rough beard. “Unfortunately that is a Grey Warden secret. The only way I could reveal it to you is if you were to become a Grey Warden yourself. Then I would have to bind you to secrecy as well.” He tilted his head, his gaze once more falling on her. “Does that interest you?”

She blinked. “What—becoming a Grey Warden?”

Surely he was joking. Her, become a Grey Warden? She was hardly any use as a mage or a healer at this point. She had completed her Harrowing a month ago. She was seventeen and still cried when she saw wounded soldiers tossing and turning in their cots. She shifted to face him now, preparing to find him mocking her, but he merely watched for her response.

He was completely serious.

“You can’t really mean that,” she said. “I’m…”

She had a ready list of her many faults to spill out to him, but something gave her pause. For one thing, she didn’t know where to start. In her mind, a list of every reason why she wouldn't be a good Warden, why she wasn't a very good mage or even a good person, could stretch out for hours. It played in an endless loop at the back of her mind most days, especially since coming here to Ostagar. Nyssa the Warden didn't exactly have a ring to it. Though Nyssa Surana, Mage of Kinloch Hold didn't either, if she were honest with herself.

Not that it mattered. Everyone said the Grey Wardens were extraordinary fighters and she was…well, not that. She had only learned combative spells to pass her tests and train for the Harrowing. She’d never actually hurt anybody…until today.

“From what I know about you,” Duncan said after a moment, after it was clear her silence wouldn't get broken otherwise, “you are a talented mage who completed her Harrowing at a surprisingly young age and in record time for Kinloch Hold’s Circle of Magi. You are selfless and kind, and you act despite your fears and doubts. In time, you could even be brave and bold. Or am I wrong?”

She said nothing, feeling as though disagreement would come across as disrespecting his opinion. And she did respect him, even if she didn’t believe him.

He was just being overly kind, offering her this opportunity. She was seventeen—with barely a grasp on her magical education, only two weeks’ worth of experience in healing or dealing with battle wounds, and absolutely no desire to kill anything more dangerous than a tiny errant spider. She didn't even like eating meat that much because she cried if she thought too long about what it takes to butcher an animal. She couldn't be some exceptional, quick-on-their-feet, brave or courageous fighter like the Wardens needed...

Could she?

“Are the Wardens really so desperate they’d take the youngest mage in camp just to fill their ranks?” she asked, wincing slightly.

But Duncan shook his head. “Do not belittle my offer, or you belittle me in the process. I would not be asking if I did not think you would make a fine Grey Warden. You have potential—you can be trained to overcome whatever shortcomings you fear you have. And the Wardens would benefit from someone who views the world the way you do.”

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

But he didn't answer her. Instead, he softened his tone and said, “Think about what I offer, Nyssa."

"But I don't know what you're offering," she protested, turning to face him more fully. She clenched her hands tightly together in her lap, her brows drawn as she looked up at him. "Are the Wardens heroes, or aren't they? Do you need a mage or don't you? Why me? What can I offer that you don't already have?"

"Magic, for one," Duncan said. She thought she caught a glimmer of humor in his eye, but then he blinked and it was gone. "We currently do not have any mages in our ranks. But to answer your other questions…allow me to put it this way. Being a Grey Warden is a calling. A sacrifice. Our duty is to battle darkspawn wherever they appear. Nothing more, nothing less."

Still, she hesitated. "It seems a lot more complicated than that."

"Perhaps, but in times like these, I find the best path forward is the simplest one. Don't you agree?"

She didn't disagree, if that was worth anything. She painfully unclenched her hands and rubbed her palms against the fabric of her robes over her knees. “Ser Duncan, I…I’m not sure I’m…”

“I shall make the choices clear,” he said, his tone once more that of a commanding officer, a Warden-Commander. Stoic. Firm. “You must either choose to stay a mage, allied and bound to the Circle of Magi, or you must accept this opportunity to become a Warden, allied and bound with your fellow Grey Wardens. Once you become a Warden, you are a Warden for life. You must leave the Circle and everything else behind. It means freedom from your tower, but also a dedication to fighting darkspawn, with or without a Blight. Do you understand?"

She nodded, hesitant, her heart pounding in her chest. "I understand." Maker help me...

Duncan watched her for a moment as she struggled to hold his gaze, her hands clenching and unclenching her robes. He sighed very softly through his nose, so faint she thought she imagined it, and then added with a hint of quiet kindness, "You stand at a crossroads, my young friend. The rest of your life is before you. Whether you spend it with the Circle of Magi or with the Wardens is the choice I offer. But if being a Warden is not the path you want to take, then you must let me know now and we will speak no more of this matter.”

She chewed her bottom lip, her fingers now anxiously fidgeting with the embroidery of her sleeve hems. Another choice. Why must she choose? Why couldn't he conscript her and be done with it? Why couldn't he set the course of her life forever after so she could just...deal with it?

But that was just it, wasn't it? This was him being kind. He was extending both an offer and a way out. A path forward and a safe retreat. At least, in theory. In reality...

Circle mage or Warden mage. Those were her choices. Bound to the Circle, or bound to the Wardens.

She closed her eyes, envisioning the tower that had been her reluctant home for a decade, the home she would now have to say goodbye to if she accepted Duncan's offer. Kinloch Hold, with its libraries and classrooms, its massive mage dormitories and its hidden corners. There was a lot of good there. Bright-eyed young mages, still children, eagerly trying to learn magic, giggling at her attempts to help them with their spells. Patient Tranquil, with their steady hands and emotionless speech, always working in the kitchens and the stockrooms. The rare, kind templars, like Cullen who made her feel more safe than surveilled, who always looked away when he caught her out of bed late at night when she had been absorbed in reading. The mentors who had encouraged her study. The older mages like Anders who had made her laugh and the apprentices like Jowan who had somehow coaxed their way into being her friend, despite her being embarrassingly shy. She'd miss it all. She couldn't deny that.

But there was more that she wouldn't miss. More that she was eager to get away from. The Circle politics, for one, with mages constantly rehashing the same debates over the same lines in the Chant of Light, arguing with Chantry priests and templars alike. The military presence of the templars as a whole, those who stared daggers at her as she passed, as if she were about to burst into flame at any moment. The strange, awkward loneliness that comes only when you're locked in a tower full of people, and yet still don't know your place among them, even after ten years.

At least with the Wardens, she would know. She would be the only Warden mage under Duncan's command, her sole purpose being to follow orders, whatever those would be. Orders like...ending a man's suffering. Taking a man's life. 

A sudden, panicked thought gripped her as she considered the repercussions of that choice all over again. She had killed someone—killed someone—on Duncan's suggestion. Once the Chantry sisters put two and two together, she was bound to face punishment from the templars, if not directly from the king himself. If the templars got involved, she could be made Tranquil, or executed. If the king stepped in, she was sure to be hanged.

The only way to shelter from that particular storm was to join the Wardens.  

She opened her eyes as that last thought struck her. It was an errant thought that had wriggled its way into her mind, unbidden, yet it felt like a lifeline now. The Wardens were her only chance of surviving an execution. 

Had this been Duncan's plan all along? Had he placed that first choice before her, with the soldier's life in her hands, in order to trap her into this decision? Or was it all coincidence, a test that he could conveniently use?

Did he truly see potential in her, or had circumstance forced his hand?

Cautiously, she chanced a glance at Duncan, both her mind and heart racing. "Ser Duncan," she said, once more balling up the fabric of her skirt in her fists. "I don't...really have a choice, do I? Now that I've..."

But Duncan's face was inscrutable. A mask. "Being a Grey Warden can be a very hard road, especially for one so young. But I believe you are capable of walking it, Nyssa, if this is the road you want to take."

It was both the answer she expected and not an answer at all. She swallowed, nodded, and took a deep breath, her heart still racing in her chest. Whether Duncan viewed it as a choice or not, from her perspective, there was no choice. There was no going back now, after what she had done. 

“So be it,” she said, half-disbelieving the words were actually coming out of her mouth. “If you’ll have me, I want to join the Wardens.”

Duncan nodded gravely in return, but there was that hint of a smile on his lips too. “So be it,” he echoed. “Then let us not waste time.”

[intotheabyssofunknown]

Tell me about your favorite character, Kaname. About his feelings, his personality, his sadness, his love, his relationship with Yuki, everything.

Sorry for the death . Tell you about Kaname, the more I talk about him , the more there is still more left to explore. So who is Kaname ,what does he feel , why he does the things he does , what is his relationship with yuki or his friends. I guess something like this .

For me Kaname is a man with a plan ,a very sad plan . He is selfless to a fault , most of the times, he was only been a little selfish when it comes to yuki , i mean to say that he is just someone who just doesn't live for himself , it's just the way yuki talked about him in chapter 90 , it's as if he wouldn't be allowed to exist if he didn't use him life for the sake of someone. Some might say a selfless person is someone who doesn't harm other, who doesn't manipulate others , but everything he ever did was not for himself, none of it was for himself, that I will have this, I will have that, it was all for yuki and at the end humans , if only he did things to achieve happiness , the one person I actually want to be happy from the bottom of my heart . He always puts himself in the second place , forget second perhaps the last . He is someone who will kill for the people he loves , die for them but alas he isn't ever able to live them .

His journey is fascinating to me . He is like a travelller who has travelled the ends of the earth and he has been alone for that amount of time. I won't say he didn't have moments of happiness, i think he must have had those few moments but he just lost them , it's like happiness escapes his fingers like grains of sand . He was a scared man who feels as if he ever desired anything, it's bad , it's dark . But how can there be a life without desire, he had them yet he couldn't act on them ,he suppressed them . It's like something you want , it's right in front of you but you just can't touch it. It's not like he was afraid of the light , perhaps he was afraid that he will corrupt the light , that's why he wanted yuki to stay away from vampire politics. And the kaname we see at the last , is a very very tired man , he has fought enough battles , he just couldn't fight anymore , how to say this , it's like a warrior isn't able to lift his own sword at the end of battle cause sword has become just that heavy , it's a very realistic thing that can happen to a warrior, Kaname was like that . He had grown weary of everything , that was the main theme of vampire knight , the loss of desire that comes with long life . I think latest chapter is actually a good way to talk about it , the more they live the harder it becomes to get rid of your impurities, so how can someone like that lead anyone , though I don't wanna agree with this ,but this is something that happens in real life . kaname's actions, his sadness , his rage , his despair, everything is realistic . Kaname and sadness , these two words are inseparable, he is a tragic king , all his life he had faced more tragedies than anyone , he has given more than anyone can. And sadness of his life , he has always been alone . It's like happiness always escapes his grasp.

He feels like autumn 🍁 if I compare him to a season , he is sweet , spicy and tangy if I think of flavours to describe him . It's not only his sufferings that makes him endearing, he is smart , he is strong yet weak . He isn't good neither is he evil , he is inbetween, he dwinldes at that line , his journey has left him scarred and wounded , he is a dreamer who dreams of peace, of a kind world where no one would be suffering because of vampires , cause he thought of his own kind to be cause of suffering, that's why he did what he did , to destroy the darkness along with himself. How do I say this , a very famous quote from Mahabharat, once a tree rots , you have to cut it or uproot it , before peace comes war , cause perhaps its war that makes us value peace and common day to day life ,it's sadness that gives meaning to happiness . He is chaos yet he feels like peace . He is madness of reasons . He is a sinner yet he is the victim. He is eternal yet he is just as fleeting ,like he can disappear any moment you let go. At the end of the day , he just wants to be normal yet the one that can't be granted to him 😭. He feels like he doesn't deserve that light but he does deserves all the light , he shouldn't just be the protector of light who lives in the dark , he deserves that warmth of light.

About his relationship with yuki , it's something very pure , yet something so complex , i find their relationship very beautiful and pure ( given that most of the time it doesn't look like that from my blog ) but they have given each other so much , warmth , love , commitment and thousands of years of love despite being apart , so I just don't understand how it happened like that between them . How can yuki move on like that , how did she fail to notice the warning signs , how did she not decide to stay with him. I like the little yuki and Kaname to be the best , how kaname loved her , taught her and encouraged her , how he fought with Haruka to let yuki be out , I loved those two . And it makes me wonder how Hino decided to end that in just one single chapter. Moreover I loved their eye to eye flirting in arc one , I loved yuki's bold attitude when it came to Kaname at times , I loved how she didn't want to give up on him , and I love the themes of forgiveness and acceptance between them. Though yuki has disappointed me a lot with her indecisiveness , still does and but I am still grateful for the fact that she gave kaname a second chance at life , she gave him a family though she never stays there , if she is there physically, mentally she is wandering somewhere else , now that her heart is here , physically she is gone. I wish she had stayed , just as a friend or a family member . I loved how yuki's spirit watching over Kaname . I cry at the scene where butterfly perches on Kaname's fingers which I have always felt like yuki coming to him as he once said butterflies are naturally attracted towards light . How her familiar watches his reunion with their daughters. So all in all , there are some aspects of their relationship that I just adore , still there are still some things that feels lacking. I fluctuate many times between liking yuki and not liking , but at this moment I am liking her cause she gave kaname the gift of life .

Kaname's impact on me ::

Kaname is and always be my favourite tragedy and someone I want to become happy from the bottom from my heart. He is like my muse , he is someone I want to do everything for , someone I want to have all the happiness and sorrows of normal everyday life .

There's a lot more to say about him , but I think I should stop now.

Thanks for the ask . I love talking about him and exploring more about him. ( truthfully I have written it a third time cause the first two times it got deleted 😭) .

[lbfromtheblock]

Never Gonna Give You Up | Sylki Season 2 Finale Fix-It (Kinda) Fic

(spoilers for season 2 finale)

I NEEDED to get this off my chest after seeing the finale.

I understand why what happened had to happen. But I wanted some confirmation first. So this is me making my peace with it.

Enjoy.

Loki looked into her blazing emerald eyes again. The hate, the suffering, the pain, the betrayal. His arms shook from the effort needed to hold back her arm and the blade she held. Bloodthirsty and vengeful, she’d honestly never looked more beautiful. And he’d never felt more sorry for her.

-“So do it then. Get your throne. KILL ME!” Sylvie spat in his face, her eyes brimming with tears, anticipating what to her would be the last, most painful betrayal her heart could take. But even as she said it, she could see the resignation in this Loki’s face, where a second ago there had been panicked but palpable affection, and shared pain. He had just wanted her to be free of this pain, and wanted her to find her freedom with him.

But now his jaw was set. He was strong, sure, but she was stronger, wilier. She knew his weaknesses inside and out. Her eyes darted back and forth, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. Keep them from making her seem weak.

“Sylvie. I should have told you this ages ago but… I love you. I can heal your pain, I can take it all away. You don’t have to do this.”

His voice was warm and sincere, like liquid honey dripping. He was wily too. He knew what spots to poke. But even as her anger surged at this new attempt to manipulate her emotions, it also quailed from the touch of his hand on her cheek. Maybe…

“I have been where you stand. I know and can say for a fact that you will not find peace here. Trust me. Believe in me, and I can show you. Put down your sword. Come with me.”

His voice shook, and tears slid unabashedly down his own face now. Seeing him so vulnerable and shockingly honest made her pause. Her arm dropped a few millimeters. Her skin burned under his touch. He didn’t pull away. Neither did she.

He Who Remains behind them raised an eyebrow. This was new.

“Tell me. Give me a reason to stop. Because right now I don’t have any.”

Loki kept her gaze and leaned close until their foreheads touched. He could smell her, that familiar scent of sweat and metal and roses…she’d replaced it with some discount store soap and perfume in their current timeline. It had taken some of the ferocity away. But now, like this, at the height of her anger…it smelled like home.

And so strange all at once.

He sent her images. Pictures and snippets of what was to come. The spaghettification of all timelines if she succeeded, the pain and suffering she would cause…

But also the life she could lead if given the chance.

It was still McDonald’s. Still mundane. Almost normal. But now she came home to him. She could summon him whenever she wanted and he would be there waiting. They would spend nights in front of the tv, eating horrible food and laughing, laughing…The pure joy on his face when she brought home a stray puppy, and named him Thor…

Startled by her own moist giggles, Sylvie finally opened her eyes. He stared back, searchingly, hopefully. Like a little boy on Christmas morning.

“You can’t promise me this.” Her hands slowly curled into fists. It was so unfair. She wanted ALL of that so badly, almost more than she wanted to kill He Who Remains. Almost.

“I can. And I am. Please, Sylvie. We can be together. Just walk away.”

Loki didn’t even bat an eye as she reached in to kiss him, just like last time. He pulled her close, held her, felt every inch of her body against his, as closr as he possibly could, nostrils full of that final scent…her hair brushing against his face…

With a deft spin, he was on his back on the floor, and she was across the hall, blade already buried deep into He Who Must Not Remains. A startled gasp, but his face had a sudden twitch of satisfaction before it went slack.

Loki covered his face, wiped the newest cascade of tears from his cheeks. Pushed back his hair and sniffed in defeat. Steeling himself for what came next.

He turned, about to go back and try again, but before he could, he locked eyes with her one last time.

It was always the same. No satisfaction, no triumph. Just emptiness. A sadness. She never forgave him. She never allowed herself to just love him.

In any timeline.

But he couldn’t stop trying. He would keep trying. He had to. There had to be a way.

“You’ve tried violence and you’ve tried love. I wonder how long it will take you to realize the bottleneckedness of the situation.”

He Who Remains quipped, back in a seated position, very much alive in his chair behind his desk. Loki looked at him balefully.

“This isn’t like the fairy tales, champ. Think outside the box.”

Loki smirked, paused time and looked to Sylvie, mid leap.

“Mm. Maybe when I get tired of holding her. I’ll try something else. Until then…just relax and enjoy the show.”

And with a flick, he unpaused time, and went to his beloved once again, arms outstretched.

I’ll never give up on you.

…in any timeline.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

February 24, 2023

Heather Cox Richardson

“One year and one week ago—on February 17th, 2022—I warned this council that Russia was planning to invade Ukraine,” Secretary of State Antony Blinken told the United Nations Security Council Ministerial Meeting on Ukraine Sovereignty and Russian Accountability today.

“I said that Russia would manufacture a pretext, and then use missiles, tanks, soldiers, cyber attacks to strike pre-identified targets, including Kyiv,” Blinken continued, “with the aim of toppling Ukraine’s democratically elected government. Russia’s representative—the same representative who will speak today—called these, and I quote, ‘groundless accusations.’

“Seven days later, on February 24th, 2022, Russia launched its full-scale invasion.”

When Putin’s initial attack failed to give him control of Ukraine, Blinken continued, “he called snap referenda in four occupied parts of Ukraine, deported Ukrainians, bussed in Russians, held sham votes at gunpoint, and then manipulated the results to claim near unanimous support for joining the Russian Federation.”

“Over the last year,” Blinken said, “Russia has killed tens of thousands of Ukrainian men, women, and children; uprooted more than 13 million people from their homes; destroyed more than half of the country’s energy grid; bombed more than 700 hospitals, 2,600 schools; and abducted at least 6,000 Ukrainian children—some as young as four months old—and relocated them to Russia.

“And yet, the spirit of the Ukrainians remains unbroken; if anything, it’s stronger than ever.”

Blinken’s remarkable speech told the history of Russia’s 2022 invasion of Ukraine, then highlighted that the world community has come together to stand behind Ukraine and the principles of the United Nations Charter that make all countries safer and more secure: “No seizing land by force. No erasing another country’s borders. No targeting civilians in war. No wars of aggression.”

He noted that the war had caused hardship around the globe, but the “vast majority” of states in the United Nations have condemned Russia’s violations of the U.N. Charter, including 141 who voted for a resolution along those lines just yesterday.

When Putin tried to use hunger as a weapon to end sanctions, more than 100 countries stepped up to bring down world grain prices; when Putin tried to use energy as a weapon, the rest of the world redirected national gas supplies so that the countries he was targeting could keep their people warm, and Europe worked hard to end its dependence on Russian energy.

Blinken said that if we do not defend the basic principles of the U.N. Charter, “we invite a world in which might makes right, the strong dominate the weak. That’s the world this body was created to end.”

While everyone—especially Ukraine—wants peace, he said, that peace must be durable, not simply an excuse to let Russia rest, rearm, and relaunch the war. As Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky has outlined, any peace must honor Ukraine’s territorial sovereignty. Putin has rejected this condition out of the box, saying that Ukraine must accept his “annexation” of Ukraine’s territories.

Blinken reminded his listeners that not everything in the world has two sides. “In this war, there is an aggressor and there is a victim,” he said. “If Russia stops fighting and leaves Ukraine, the war ends.  If Ukraine stops fighting, Ukraine ends. The fact remains: One man—Vladimir Putin—started this war; one man can end it.”

When Russia and its defenders say the ongoing war is diverting resources from others in need, Blinken said, “look at Moscow’s actions” and look at the numbers. Last year, the U.S. contributed $13.5 billion in food aid and funded more than 40% of the World Food Program’s budget. Russia pays less than 1% of that budget.

Blinken went on: “Based on the latest UN figures, the United States donates over nine times as much as Russia to UN peacekeeping.  We donate 390 times as much as Russia to UNICEF.  We give nearly a thousand times as much as Russia to the UN Refugee Agency.”

Blinken reminded his listeners that the atrocities we are seeing Russians commit in Ukraine are not normal. “Bucha is not normal,” he said. “Mariupol is not normal. Irpin is not normal. Bombing schools and hospitals and apartment buildings to rubble is not normal. Stealing Ukrainian children from their families and giving them to people in Russia is not normal.

“We must not let President Putin’s callous indifference to human life become our own.”

Today, the leaders of the international Group of Seven, known as the G7, met virtually with Zelensky. The G7 includes Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom and the United States, as well as the European Union.

The statement they issued echoed Blinken’s speech, then went on to pledge to continue food and humanitarian aid as countries suffer from the war, and to continue to design sanctions to make sure those countries continue to have access to food and fertilizers. The G7 leaders expressed “profound sympathy” for those affected by the “horrifying earthquakes in Türkiye and Syria” and pledged continued support.

“Above all,” they said, “our solidarity will never waver in standing with Ukraine, in supporting countries and people in need, and in upholding the international order based on the rule of law.”

The Biden administration today announced $2 billion in military aid to Ukraine, including drones, communications equipment, HIMARS rockets, and 155-millimeter artillery ammunition, while the G7 has increased its 2023 support for Ukraine to $39 billion, and both Germany and Sweden committed to sending more Leopard 2 tanks.

The deputy chair of Russia’s security council, former president Dmitry Medvedev, said today that Russia planned to “push the borders of threats to our country as far as possible, even if these are the borders of Poland.” Poland is a member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), meaning an attack on it would be an attack on the rest of NATO, including the United States.

At a press conference in Kyiv today, Zelensky said: “Victory will be inevitable. I am certain there will be victory.”

“We have everything for it. We have the motivation, certainty, the friends, the diplomacy. You have all come together for this. If we all do our important homework, victory will be inevitable.”

—

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[From comments]

FERN MCBRIDE (NYC)

From historian, Timothy Snyder:

Why the world needs Ukrainian victory

1. To halt atrocity.

2. To preserve the international legal order.

3. To end an era of empire.

4. To defend the peace project of the European Union.

5. To give the rule of law a chance in Russia.

6. To weaken the prestige of tyrants.

7. To remind us that democracy is the better system.

8. To lift the threat of major war in Europe.

9. To lift the threat of major war in Asia.

For more reasons the world needs the Ukrainian victory, see link below.

https://snyder.substack.com/p/why-the-world-needs-ukrainian-victory-c90

PS What can you do personally? Keep in touch with your elected representatives. Support military and humanitarian assistance. Make your views known. Write a letter to the editor. Share this post widely. Fly a Ukrainian flag. Put a sticker on your computer.

Buy and wear Ukrainian merch. In great causes, small gestures matter. If you want to keep Ukrainian soldiers alive; here is a way to keep Ukrainians warm during winter; documenting Ukraine, a project that supports those in Ukraine who are chronicling the war-- To reach links to donate, first go to Snyder's newsletter and scroll down to his PS, where you will find the links underlined.

https://snyder.substack.com/p/why-the-world-needs-ukrainian-victory

Thank you for reading Letters from an American and this post, which came from Timothy Snyder's newsletter called, 'Thinking about..."

[wyvernwriterarchive]

🌄Dalgari, World of Legacies 🌄

🌐Dalgarian Chronology🌐

Long ago, the world of Dalgari was ruled over by all of mankind and overseen by the gods of the realm.

Humans, Elves,Ainmhi, Olphiests…they all lived in peace.

That was until a sorcerer named Riven sought to control the world.

He made a deal with a dark deity, one called Teragyth, and brought a plague of monsters and madness to the world, inspiring his Olphiest brethren to revolt.

The goddess of truth and legacies, Leanogy , enraged and distraught by the madness Teragyth’s power had unleashed, blessed eleven people with incredible power and blessed weaponry, asking them to defend the people from this threat.

So began a long and brutal war, with the world's people coming out on top.

Unfortunately…the Olphiest were now seen as the true enemy. The eleventh hero was demonized and eventually killed, along with her brethren. And the Olphiests fled to an island.

Though shaken, the other heroes reformed and reshaped their nations and the world, passing down their mystical abilities throughout the generations.

The world of Dalgari is currently restless. Teragyth’s eye still watches the continent and causes monsters to attack. And even without his scheming, the world has grown more cruel.

To protect the people of Dalgari and ensure peace prospers, some nobles and royalty proposed a plan.

The Gilded Guardians.

A group of people dedicated to defending the innocent and bringing peace, while also acting as an officer academy or mercenary guild for those who wish to test their might. The guild has been in preparation for a while. And now, it is soon being opened to the public, stationed near Cerotia's capital.

That…is where our story begins.

🗺️Countries of Dalgari 🗺

⚡Cerotia(Archduchy of the Bear)⚡

“O, Lord Johan, Luminary of Cerotia, divine hero of unity. Keep our souls united and prosperous as we face the new world of today.”

A grand archduchy in the middle of the continent, sporting plains and forests. Wealthy and strong, its people come from all walks of life and fill the country with pride. Mercenaries and other warriors are common here, and they protect the country when the military can't. Its leader founded the Gilded Guardians, which is supposed to fiercely protect the people of the world, as well as unite people from every country. An ambitious goal.

Known for its wealth and colored armor given to royal knights.

“O, Lady Hjördis, Warmaster of Bovent, holy heroine of strength and glory. Give us the power we need to defend all we love with passion and fury.”

🔥Bovent(Empire of the Bull)🔥

An imperial empire in the rough and boiling northern mountains. Its people are mighty and are a bit brutal. Strength is valued above all, and those who wield it must make the choice to be benevolent or cruel. While the current emperor is seemingly kind to his citizens, those who defy him are met with an unending fury. Nobles have seen this as a threat and often try to distance themselves or revolt against the emperor.

Known for its mines, smiths, wyverns, and its blacksteel weaponry.

❄️Liron(Kingdom of the Lion)❄️

“O, Lord Eirwan, Lionheart of Liron, noble hero of honor and pride. Help us shield our weak from those who wish to harm our lands with your majesty.”

A kingdom in the snowy mountains. The royal family and nobles live lavish lives, unconcerned about their people who suffer in the cold. This has caused many to despise the country, and many flee for a better life. Those who stay must pursue chivalry and knighthood, or in some way serve the crown, in order to live a comfortable life.

Known for its cavalry and elven magic.

✨Phenlory(Holy Kingdom of the Songbird)✨

“O, Lady Sigrun, Valkyrie of Phenlory, saintly hero of purity and life. Guide us to victory and safety with your holy mystical light.”

A theocratic kingdom in the snowy tundra. Its citizens are devout and holy, though some of its people are more zealous and harmful than others. It's rulers even more so. They see the heroes of eld as divine, and anyone with relations to them are treated with the highest of respect. Small and not exactly strong, it relies on the strength of allies to stay safe.

Known for its holy magic and pegasus riders.

🌲Delka(Queendom of the Elk)🌲

“O, Lady Diantha, Auspex of Delka, wild heroine of serenity and the forest. May your fruitful lands sustain us and give us joy for years to come.”

A queendom in the deep forests and jungles. Seen as a safe haven for those who never wish to see bloodshed again. Its people live with a constant and unending peace, knowing very little about war. Though because of the current queen’s mysterious disappearance, things have been growing a bit hectic as of late.

At the center of the country is a large, magic tree. It was said to be grown by Diantha, and it protects all its people from danger as long as it lives with magic.

🌪️Pakwil (Dominion of the Wolf)🌪️

“O, Laird Aldhelm, Zephyr of Pawkil, blessed hero of the people’s wishes. Even through grief, persecution, and strife, may your winds move us ever onward.”

A dominion in the steppes and mountains. Its people are jolly and hardy, and they often spend their time studying things like music, poetry, or art. The country is very diverse, and camaraderie is encouraged. Nobles ignore this concept and are extremely divided. Even the head oligarch seems to hate the diversity in not just the country's people but the world's. They seek to turn the country into an isolationist and militaristic country.

Known for its griffons, and its sharp, critical weapons.

🔮Nowtuol(Aristocratic Union of the Owl)🔮

“O, Lord Jefrin, Archimage of Nowtuol, clairvoyant hero of knowledge and deduction. Help us leave no stone unturned and no truth hidden or dismissed.”

A union with beautiful plains and beaches. Its people are studious and knowledgeable. It has a vast wealth of knowledge in all sorts of subjects, and has made breakthroughs in tactical, magical, and technological developments. This means that, while their army is small, it's ray magical might and tactical knowledge makes them masters in the battlefield. However, despite this vast amount of magical knowledge, they rarely use it to great effect.

Known for its enchanted weapons and magic.

🏜️Ampherous(Sultanate of the Cobra)🏜️

“O, Lord Rashid, Hellion of Ampherous, glorious hero who balances law and chaos. Protect us from the shadowy evils of our world and usher us to a grand future.”

A sultanate in the sands. Its people tend to either be law-abiding and patriotic or sly and a bit rebellious. Merchants are common here and are well protected by royal soldiers. They must be, as bandits appear much more frequently than other countries. Or, at the very least, they're more organized. Long ago, the previous ruler of the country made some foolish deals, causing it to be cursed to be attacked by a spectral army one year after every new sultan is crowned. It's up to the current generation to protect the people now.

🌑Umbertala (Kingdom of the Raven)🌑

“O, Laird Delyth, Gremory of Umbertala, mysterious hero of truth and bane of deceit. We ask that you unveil the darkness that lies to all of our hearts.”

A dark kingdom in the dark, western swamps and forests. Its people are both mysterious and curious. Not many people travel in and out, but the few that do seek to learn all they can about the world. It's not that they aren't allowed to leave, but the people are already afraid to leave because of the country's dark monsters…and the people of the outside world. Its rulers do their best to serve the people, but don't reach out for help too often. They don't trust other countries to not stab them in the back. Again.

💗Taliver (Republic of the Salamander) 💗

“O, Lady Anthiese, Dawncaller of Taliver, shining maiden of cheer and resolve. Though our paths may be harsh and treacherous, we know you shall keep our spirits high in darkness.”

A republic with arid sands, cliffs, and savannahs. People are cheerful but weary. The country faces rocky relations with its neighbor Ampherous, and severe storms and droughts are common. But even still, its people use faith and revelry to stay happy and hopeful in hard times. Several artists, dancers, and bards come out of Taliver with a joyous heart, looking to bring stories of hope to the land.

💧Scalborn (Union of the Dragon)💧

“O, Lady Golthera, Beastcaller of Scalborn, eclipsed heroine of the oppressed. We ask that you shield us from hate and spite and gift us liberty one day.”

A union composed entirely of a few islands. Its people, the Ollphéist, live here in relative peace, though they must defend themselves from humans,elves, and ainmhís. They hide away on the islands, rarely heading on to the mainland, and they must be strong to avoid invasions. Though it seems a few people want to try peace with the mainland after all these years.

[megamangx]

scp allince slayer-the girly things plot

read the allien slayer sweries of scp storys

mike jenklin was doing paperwork witch he hatted becuse he liked fieldwork becuse he liked guns and swords and fighting with his buddy darkblade.

but one day all the female sciantists started quitting jobs and dressing like fucked up barbie "what is happened doctor rights you used to love sciance you where part of the science team for god sake" mike shaked her

"like i love make up and ballat and dolls now witch is normel things for girls to like now go away" she said and walked out in high heels and blodn hair.

"something is wrong and the peace is not more i must go to ask doctor kain pathos crow he is smart and willing know ansmwers" i said then mike opened the door to crow lab

the doctor was there "crow all the females are wearing pink and quitting"

crow laughed "oh its just girls they havbe womenblely needs and it is normal for them to do girl things like cottege cores and housewife" he said and the other staff laughed and slapped each others bums

"now mike lets get you a wife woof woof" barked kain pathos crow but mike was not imprassed becuse he was womans rights "something is wrong why are you liked this"??

then the door opened and evil woman keelee was there "i control the scp now and soon this site 19 will be demolished and turned into a cottagecore village for good girls to live and service the men" she said as the men bowed down

"you see i have a blog called just girly things and it will make girls into nromal girls who like pink and being wife" she laughed

mike jenkins tryed to go for gun but a strong women grab him and he could not fight "but why men help you" mike begged

suddanly a purple computer grapheic farmer man was there "well thatd be me pardner i used my goat mind control to make all the boys here do what they are told.

mike was scared "GOAT VR YOU ARE HELPING THEM?!"

The farmer laugh "thats right keelee promased me i could have 10 percent of the worlds men to turn into my goat slaves forever and send them into my game"

keelee kicked mike whern he was down and wispered in his ear "remember years ago when evil pagan cult take over scp that was me we where doing a testing run for the just girly things program memes" and mike was shook.

darkblade came in holding the mastermune sword as he stuck the heavy weapons girls down "mike you where trained in the kata how could you be so easily defeeted after you punched the evil sun to death remember" said darkblade

MOTIVATION came over mike as he powered up becoming powercul with the kata and unlashing his silver power form "Keelee you have stolen these womens freedoms and slaved them and for that you will pay" and mike puncher her 20000 times "ora ora ora ora ora ora ora ora" he said and punched her out a window.

"you gotta deal with me boy" said the farmer as mike used norton anti virus to kill him "oh fuck you too" said the farmer who was deleted.

then mike and darkblade used the antimeme to cure doctor crow and the others as the dog thanked them "sorry about that i was weak to let that computer man mind control me." said crow

"Don';t worry friends look out for each other" laughed mike and they all wented out for pepsis.

at a secret base hitler crushed his list as his glass of warm milk shattered he was angry "so our gender roles group we funded has failed i am das angry and hate zat mike i will get him" hitler said no longer in the mood for his warm glass of milk.

[myuselessartandstories]

Story #33

War

          Blood. Everywhere. It won’t stop. Why won’t it stop? He’s breathing. But he’s not here. He’s not seeing. He’s not living. He’s in pain. He’s bleeding. Why did this happen? I don’t get it. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have lied. Why is this happening? Don’t make me relive this. I can’t. Don’t make me.

I’m back at home with my mother. My father’s in the war right now. This war is dumb. We should have won already. Russia’s weak. Germany’s strong. My father is strong. Mother says he’s dead, but I don’t believe it. He’ll come back.

I tried to join when he did, but apparently sixteen is too young. That shouldn’t matter! If you’re willing to fight, they should let you fight! I’d kill every last Russian, Englishman, Frenchman, Italian, and American! The others wouldn’t even be a challenge. I’ve fought an Indian before. They’re as weak as they used to be. They should go back to being slaves, but for us instead.

Mother is complaining about the “hirnlose Amerikaner” again. It’s annoying. It’s all she talks about now. Father kept the peace between us. Mother and I have never gotten along before. Now it’s worse. 

I leave the house for some fresh air. Maybe I’ll find a stray Serbian and die Scheiße aus ihnen herausprügeln. They won’t stand a chance. I walk along the street of my home and see a recruiter. He’s calling for any men of age to join the war. “Helfen Sie mit, die Russen zu bekämpfen! Die Österreicher sind ohne uns zu schwach!” 

I look at myself in a nearby puddle. Father has always said I look older than I am. Maybe I can fool a recruiter. 

Getting into line, I look at the people about to join with me. Way too many old people. Somebody looks like he’s got a broken arm. Why are these schwächlinge joining the army? They won’t be of any help!

The recruiter looks at me for a moment. “Das Alter?” He asks. I hesitate. I don’t lie often. Mother says I’m a bad liar. “Achtzehn.” I say quickly. I have to be careful. One lie could get me in a lot of trouble. “Geh weiter. Sie bringen das Fahrzeug zur Basis. Tu, was dir gesagt wird.” I nod and walk past him.

A few days later, I’m in a vehicle, heading to a trench that called reinforcements. I’m ready to fight. These stupid Russians won’t know what hit them. Walter is sitting beside me, clutching his Gewehr 43 close to his chest. “Oh, look at the scared German,” I start in a terrible American accent. “How easy it will be to kill him!” I laugh. Walter does not.

“Mach keine Witze darüber!” He yells at me, still scared. I sigh and pat his back. Walter and I became friends quickly. We bumped into each other when he fell off the climbing wall. He’s not the bravest, but he’s pretty smart. “Mach dir keine Sorgen. Ich mach nur Spaß. Du musst dich beruhigen.” I say. He’ll get himself killed if he continues to be a verängstigtes kind.

The vehicle stops and we quickly exit and go into the trenches. Bullets are flying by and I can’t hear anybody over the loud fire of the guns. I’ve lost Walter and my group. I have no idea where I am. Now I’m the verängstigtes kind. 

Something scratches my ear and I flinch down. My ear is bleeding. A bullet must have scraped it. It’s not deep, but it hurts a lot and it keeps bleeding. I load my gun and fire back to the Russians. How dare they think they can defeat us. The nerve of them! Dumme Russen!

The gunfire stops for a moment and I look around. Everybody is looking upward, so I follow. Canisters are flying through the air, spewing yellowish-green gas from them. Now those Russians are in trouble. “Vorauszahlung! Töte die verdammten Russen!”

Everyone flies forward and I follow quickly, ready to spill the blood of whatever Russian gets in my way. Something comes out of the gas ahead of us. A limping Russian with a rag over his mouth. His skin is red and he’s coughing, barely holding onto his weapon.

He shoots towards someone, surprisingly able to aim and fire his gun. I turn to see what weak German was just hit by a dumb Russian. 

Walter staggers. His gun falls and he clutches his chest. I can’t breathe. Blood spills from his chest as he falls to the ground, gasping for breath. I run to him. Blöder Russe! How dare you shoot Walter! I’ll kill you! I turn back to the Russian, but he’s gone. I look back to Walter.

Blood. Everywhere. It won’t stop. Why won’t it stop? He’s breathing. But he’s not here. He’s not seeing. He’s not living. He’s in pain. He’s bleeding. Why did this happen? I don’t get it. This shouldn’t have happened. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have lied. Why is this happening? Don’t make me relive this. I can’t. Don’t make me.

Something sharp hits me. I choke on my breath. I can’t think. I can’t. Where am I? Why am I here? Where is Father and Mother? Walter? I see more blood. It’s mine now. I’m dying with him. I don’t get it. My heart is beating. I feel it. I’m strong, so why am I dying? Ich hasse diesen Krieg. Ich wünschte, ich wäre nie gegangen. 

(I was told I couldn't write something like this, so I went "bet" and proceeded to write the shittiest story ever)

[russianprotesters]

Илья Яшин интервью из колонии: о Навальном и России

Alexey said that if he was killed, it would mean that opponents of the regime are stronger than ever, but now there is just the opposite feeling - the regime is stable and strong. Was Navalny wrong? I don’t think that the arrest and murder of the opposition leader is a sign of the strength of the political regime. Just like Putin’s “competition” with nameless extras in the elections is not a sign of his strength and popularity. Just like arresting people for anti-war likes is not a sign of a high level of support for the war in society. Popular power does not need repression, political assassinations and intimidation of dissent. She is calm and confident. He doesn’t jail his critics, doesn’t beat up protesters, and wins fair, truly competitive elections.  It seems to me that opponents of the Putin regime represent a much more powerful and formidable force than they themselves realize. Power in Russia has been usurped by a criminal group that skillfully manipulates public opinion. Almost every opposition supporter feels oppressive loneliness. He is sure that we are a minority, and Putin’s hordes are around. In fact, there are a lot of supporters of change. It's just that Evil is much better organized. 

Journalist Shura Burtin  wrote this in a column for Meduza  : we all underestimated the evil, that the opposition in exile is weak and helpless, and everyone has to save themselves one by one. Do you not share this pessimism?  Listen, in a barracks under strict detention conditions, I don’t allow myself to despair. And someone sits in safety and comfort, deliberately spreading the bacillus of despondency in the atmosphere. For what? To paralyze the will of the protesters? So that everyone's hands finally give up? Will this make you feel better? Well, God is your judge.  Yes, Evil is aggressive and merciless, it is advancing. But we need not to cover our heads with ashes, but to find ways to resist this Evil by uniting, showing solidarity and helping each other. I have been in prison for almost two years, but I do not feel helpless, lonely or despondent. I see how many people speak the same language with me, share my values, and write me letters with words of support. And in response, in every court appearance, in every text, in every interview, I try to inspire people, motivating them by personal example to resist tyranny.

How should the Russian opposition act without Alexei Navalny? The opposition must grow up and finally get rid of the “ superior-subordinate ” mentality . We are constantly trying to drive everyone into one vertical structure, where the commander gives instructions, tells everyone what to do, and the rest meekly run to carry out. But our real strength lies in horizontal connections, self-organization, collective action and solidarity. Russia is now experiencing one of the most dramatic periods in its modern history. It's time for the opposition to put aside old squabbles and grievances in order to show itself as a responsible force. It is necessary to win the trust of compatriots by consistently defending their interests, both before Putin and before the world community. It is necessary to provide a strong and attractive alternative to tyranny, namely , the image of a free, peaceful and prosperous Russia, where the state does not grind its citizens, but creates conditions for their happy life. And most importantly , you must demonstrate the ability to make this dream a reality. 

[abxglx]

Check in on Those Around You

The people who hurt the most in the inside are usually the ones that give the most on the outside. Because they don't want others to feel how they feel. More so they want to feel significant and that matter. They are overwhelmend and won't show it, instead hide it through the smile. We never know what someone's going through. There's a person who will continue to hold back their pain, masking it with a smile, until they have a major breakdown. People who go through a lot are often more kind because that's the reciprocation they want from the universe. They giving the type of care and support themselves really needed. Sometimes the people hurting the most are the ones who seem the happiest, because they won't anyone to feel the way they feel and they don't want to burden anyone. Sometimes its the ones who make people laugh who are the ones struggling the most.

Once I remember reading something in these lines: A star burns the brightest in its final moments. And it shattered my heart into billion pieces. Usually right before somebody commits suicide they get really really happy. Sadly, people who are about to unalive themselves respond the same way. You think they are getiing "better" but it's because they are at peace with ending it. They have meade the decision to do it. And they know it's all gonna be over soon period all the pain will be over soon.

Yeah, I know sometimes smiling is easier then explaining what's killing you from the inside. Because no one truly cares, sometimes. They only care as long as you're showing up for them. But you and I must stay now though. The fight is hard but you're worth it. Don't let go, please. Let the burdens that have passed be an example for you to endure. Let the pain and struggle teach you to not let go.

Sometimes simple questions like, "How's life going?" or "How are you?" can be very important to some people. It could be that no one has asked them a question like that, so they are confused about who to tell about what they feels. Also you gotta appreciate every moment you spend with every person in your life. The happiest and some of the best memories should have been created around you. So, when that person is gone forever, you have beautiful memories with them.

I also address this blog to all men who read this, because some men can be the ones who always keep their problems to themselves. Society always states that men must be strong, must not be weak, and cannot even cry. Did you know that men are also human beings who have hearts and feelings? Today men are very alone because the fashion is don't care what they can feel or to not respect their efforts. Men are pretty simples, say them they are good men, thanks them and you have them with you for weeks or month.

Some men want women's approval for men vulnerabilities. Maybe they want to be acknowledged by men for being emotional, but deep down men also want to be nurtured by women for their vulnerability. Women step up now. Men ain't all solid rocks. Let's break that stigma. Reminder that there's always a reason to keep fighting. If your thoughts are telling you to end it and that no one would care. They're lying to you. There's always good times, bright futures and memonts worth staying. I promise, one day it won't feel like fighting, one day we'll just be. And it will be peaceful and beautiful, and worth staying for. I'm happy that you are alive.

[almaqead]

"Satan." From Surah 4: An Nisa, "The Women."

4:69-76.

And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger - those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions.

That is the bounty from Allah, and sufficient is Allah as Knower.

O you who have believed, take your precaution and [either] go forth in companies or go forth all together.

And indeed, there is among you he who lingers behind; and if disaster strikes you, he says, " Allah has favored me in that I was not present with them."

But if bounty comes to you from Allah, he will surely say, as if there had never been between you and him any affection. "Oh, I wish I had been with them so I could have attained a great attainment."

So let those fight in the cause of Allah who sell the life of this world for the Hereafter. And he who fights in the cause of Allah and is killed or achieves victory - We will bestow upon him a great reward.

And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, "Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?"

Those who believe fight in the cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve fight in the cause of Taghut. So fight against the allies of Satan. Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak.

Commentary:

This the blueprint for Masjid: "Because of precaution, no one must be left behind, lest they fall prey to the plot of Satan, who preys upon the weak."

Disaster, otherwise known as war takes the place of bounty when the weak are forsaken to the strong. And Allah despises bullying by the strong:

Allah Almighty says: “And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster (Quran: 31:18).”

Pride and envy go together, they are signs of insecurity, which ultimately leeds to strength and aggression:

"In Islamic Sharia the term used for envy is Ḥasad. It refers to the feeling that a person desires for the destruction or removal of a blessing that another person has, a destruction which the bearer of this feeling would himself carry out if he had the power to.

This is quite different to wishing such blessings for one while not desiring for them to be removed from others, for that is, indeed, a positive and commendable wish that leads to contest. It was narrated from Abū Hurayrah that The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “And two will never be gathered in the heart of a salve: Faith and envy (Nasāʾī, 1986).”

Ḥasad is the most destructive emotion which a man may have towards his fellow human being. It causes him to wish evil for others and to be happy when calamity befalls them. Abū Hurayrah reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

“Avoid suspicion, for suspicion is the gravest lie in talk and do not be inquisitive about one another and do not spy upon one another and do not feel envy with the other, and nurse no malice, and nurse no aversion and hostility against one another. And be fellow-brothers and servants of Allah (Muslim 2007; Bayhaqī, 1988).”

As the Verse says "let us take out of this City, the Masjid, the oppressed and appoint for them a Protector."

It is better still to leave the oppressed where they are and take out the oppressor.