#paying attention to size is helpful but some of those other kinds just are always too small for my ears to not risk getting stuck i guess

[ratwars]

These are my fave earplugs for concerts btw and I have been using this kind for around 7 years now. (They do need to be replaced as the material breaks down over time but you can clean and reuse them quite a bit). They are also on the cheaper side of what is available so it isn't such a pain if they get lost, dropped, or when they need to be replaced. Live music also sounds way fucking better with them in too.

[sehodreams]

a good girl's paradox

TW and Tags: plus size!coworker!reader x coworker!lee tang (he changed his name to Gyeong-su in the episode), mentions of violent acts (stalking, killing, bullying), smut, p in v (with protection), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), suicidal thoughts, trauma, related to the series but it changes the storyline for the fic purposes, unclear descriptions of the place (Busan) because I have no interest into learning more geography for a fic.

WC: 10K

Summary: Everyone goes to that province to hide, and you’re not the exception, but it’s also said that everyone wants to leave, and perhaps, you’re the exception to that.

Comment: Sorry guys I know I have a lot of requests and other drafts waiting, but I love this man so much I couldn’t help it, I started it yesterday and finished it today because I've been having so many problems finishing other fics and decided this was not going to be one of those half done. It's long so there are definitely mistakes, please be kind, again, English is not my first language.

Feeling the ocean breeze mess up with your hair and leave little particles of salt on it, you sat over the bench and watched the sun appear over the horizon. It was incredibly calm, and beautiful, and you inhaled the aroma of the sea in front of you, an aroma your mother used to love when you were younger, always carrying you in her arms to take you there and watch the sunrise together while eating marmalade and butter sandwiches.

You stopped completely going there once she passed away, and everyone knew why you tried to avoid its existence as if it woke up all the melancholic memories you had with her.

The truth was, you always hated it, and you stopped completely going only because you had no reason to do it anymore. You could make your own decisions once she wasn’t around anymore, and your father never cared enough to keep you company even on important events, so for as long as you could, you just didn’t go.

However, now that you saw it in front of you, you did remember some moments with your mother, her smile, and her excited voice telling you to wake up and watch the sun appear.

‘’Fucking sea’’ you said once the sun completely stayed up there, an orange light showering the whole scenery making it even more breathtaking, but still hating it.

You stood up, grabbed the suitcase handle, and walked alongside the sea, trying to catch a cab in that part of the countryside little city, different from Seoul, which was always awake, you saw how only a couple of people were walking around there, and most of them where fishers getting ready for work, or maybe they were coming back, but you, a city girl your whole life, didn’t know.

You found a taxi not much later and telling him where you were going, the driver rolled his window even more, and giving you a good look, he nodded for you to jump in.

‘’It’s not far from here’’ he said, and you nodded, not feeling like talking much with him. ‘’When you leave, don’t let them charge you too much, never pay more than 15 dollars for any cab, and never go to the sea at night.’’

That last sentence caught your attention, sounding like advice but with a hint of uninterest, assuming that you were going to leave one day.

‘’When I leave?’’ you asked.

‘’You’re going to a rented apartment, I know that building, we know everyone here, and you’re a city girl, I can hear it in your voice, all pretty and clear, something happened to you there so you came here to hide, it’s always the same thing, but your kind never like it here enough to stay’’ he answered sure of his statement.

You looked out the window, the sea was blue, pure, immaculate, and the sun wasn’t orange anymore, a clear sky showing the clouds up there, which you could see reflected into the sea.

But it all looked so grey to you, after all, a beautiful thing like that one still killed people every now and then, fishers who tried to make a living, tourists curious of what was deep inside, or simply people who tried to refresh themselves with the cool temperature of it in the summer, so you nodded.

It was beautiful, a dream, but you would never fall in love with it, if you never did it before even with the memories of your childhood, why would you do it now?

‘’Thank you’’ you said, agreeing with him.

You’d never like it enough to stay.

Still, you kind of appreciated his words after living there for almost a month.

Something you never forgot was how that driver, only with that short conversation, helped you so much, because it was true, you never had to pay more than 15 bucks for any cab, and every time the drivers tried to take advantage of you because of your accent, you only had to spit a short fuck off before they called you a bitch and accepted your bills before driving away.

At first, it was hard, you had never cursed in front of another person and you felt almost sick whenever you did it, but after deciding no one knew you there enough to have the right to judge you, or reminding yourself to just say what went through your mind to not punish yourself later with an I should’ve done something different, you started to feel better with your life there.

Also, he had been right about city people hiding there.

There weren’t many, but they were there, and it was incredibly easy to recognize them.

Apart from the dialect, which was pretty much obvious, there was just something about them that screamed I’m not from here that you always noticed.

Perhaps it was the way most of you were programmed to be colder than most of the countryside people, always being respectful and polite, but always lacking that warmness they had, most of them treating each other like friends or family, while all of you were from the exterior, uninvited guests that one day would leave, and knowing your place, all of you said thank you, hello and goodbye without smiling or eye contact.

It wasn’t that bad for you thought, you had already told yourself to not be involved with people at all if it wasn’t necessary to avoid useless problems, but again, you were only a girl, and Gyeong-ah was just a girl too, and girls, as much as you tried to deny it, feel easily alone.

You met while buying groceries, and you knew immediately she was from Seoul because instead of choosing the detergent almost all the residents there bought, which had a powerful, almost heavy aroma of flowers to mask the sea smell, she chose the softer version without aroma that most girls that lived alone in Seol used to not mess with your perfumes.

You didn’t wear perfume, you never liked it, but you recognized the brand as if it was general knowledge taught at school.

‘’You’re from Seoul’’ you said before you could think it, and it wasn’t a question at all, it was a fact that she, when she heard it, couldn’t even deny because she recognized you too.

‘’You too’’ she said, and suddenly you had a friend.

Just as city girls, you two knew how to talk to each other, never crossing lines and being as cordial as you could, wanting to know but never digging too deep unless you were sure the other deserved to know delicate information about yourselves.

In a month you became best friends, and you started to like to live there, the grey color the area had wasn’t as grey anymore, taking a brighter variation now, almost becoming white, as white as her ceilings, or as the smile she sometimes showed you.

Both of you had really white teeth from performing as perfect city girls before arriving there, religiously visiting the dentist to get expensive treatments at least twice a year and using the famous toothpaste that girl group promoted on TV between music shows, with the phrase ‘’a pretty smile is a pretty heart’’ pushing half the population to buy it, effective, an incredibly overpriced.

Both of you stopped using it, but you respected how it still showed its results.

‘’The supermarket is opening a new position as a cashier, you could come if you want, you receive discounts as an employee’’ she said to the air when you were rambling about almost not having enough savings.

Even if it was the countryside and rent wasn’t even half of what you paid before, with everything you spent after unsuccessfully trying to fit the beauty standards when you lived there, your savings weren’t enough to live unemployed for too much time.

Next week you, instead of waking up to take a little walk before breakfast, now got ready to go to work and be a useful human being to society again.

And with that, both of you took a step further into your friendship, being able to reveal, after drinking a couple of beers, why you escaped from the city.

Gyeong-ah told you everything, from the pretty sequence of how she and her boyfriend met, to then what he did to hurt her, and how she suffered until she had to go through all those surgeries before she moved to Busan.

You told her everything too, how your boss pushed his hand under your skirt, how you reported it and how everyone looked at you as if you were crazy, ‘’She’s the one that reported the sexual assault case? She should be grateful anyone wanted to fuck her’’, and how, being completely alone, you were bullied until you had to quit.

‘’I was the first place in my class’’ she said.

‘’I closed the best deal the company ever had’’ you said.

Both of you cried until you fell slept together on her bed, and only woke up because both of you had to get ready for work.

It didn’t take long for you to get used to your new job, you were already a seller before arriving there, you knew how to talk to people and how to fake a good smile, charming customers into buying products they didn’t need and quickly gaining the manager approbation, because, after all, as everyone said, you were a good girl.

Sadly, Gyeong-ah didn’t have the same luck, and you understood her, she studied to do something different with her life, and you did it too, but she was younger and never had to learn how to make people love her before because she was incredibly gorgeous, but now that beauty wasn’t as useful anymore, and not knowing how to pretend as much as you, she couldn’t gain the appreciation you did, getting more scolds than praises.

It was on one occasion that her inexperience got her into a big argument with a client, and sadly you saw the first crack of your friendship appear.

That client was demanding a refund for a product without the receipt, and you wanted to run to her and repeat how you also couldn’t find the purchase on the system, but that woman was screaming so bad you got flashbacks of your boss’s wife screaming at you to take back the complaint, how her husband would never touch a disgusting pig like you (calling you that when she was as fat, to not say more, than you), and how you should just ruin your own life if you wanted to ruin someone’s.

She had the same voice tone, and even looked exactly like her, with dark red lipstick, a failed perm and all those cheap accessories, she was her spitting image.

You couldn’t move, watching the situation happen from afar, feet stuck to the floor and hands shaking, you repeated inside your mind to go and help her, to take her side, but you couldn’t, and making eye contact with one of the boys from the fish section when he walked in front of you, you closed your eyes to ignore the situation and not feel as pathetic as you did.

Later, when your break came, you went out to breathe as much air as you could, and trying to erase the memory of the past moment from your mind, you tried to think what could you do to apologize to Gyeong-ah.

Out there, between a couple of cars, in the middle of the immense parking lot, you tried to hide so no one saw you spiraling into a thousand thoughts, and there, almost breaking down, you stopped yourself from doing it when you saw the guy from before talking to that woman.

It looked as if she wanted to discuss with him too. He was beside her car, and she started to get closer to him while talking, you couldn’t hear it, but you saw her mouth moving as fast as before.

You were about to get closer to hear them, but you stopped once you saw a disgusting string of saliva being spit on the concrete by him.

It was so long and thick that you didn’t doubt it was a consequence of all those cigarettes he smoked every day.

You didn’t smoke, but Gyeong-ah did, and sometimes the smoke got impregnated in your clothes, so you could easily identify the Marlboro smell of the pack the two of them chose all the time, but he, unlike Gyeong-ah, had a smell a lot stronger.

Your thoughts were left aside once you saw the woman moving around nervous and he trying to take her phone. What the hell, you thought, and you were about to intervene when the woman jumped into her car and drove away.

Making eye contact with him again, he watched you for a couple of seconds before he turned around and completely ignored you, continuing to smoke his cigarette in peace.

‘’I don’t have time for this’’, you whispered to yourself and walked inside to talk with Gyeong-ah and not overthink anymore.

The first crack wasn’t deep, she said she understood it, and you hugged before finishing your shift and going back home to drink and badmouth that terrible woman, especially you, not thinking much of the woman from the supermarket, but of your boss’s wife.

She laughed while hearing all the insults you had about her appearance, going to sleep with a smile on her face and telling you that she would understand if the situation happened again because it wasn’t your fault, or hers, it was theirs for not understanding you two.

Little cracks continued to appear on the frame of your friendship, but it was still solid enough to survive everything.

At least, until Sangnim appeared, and completely smashed it to leave no trace of it.

That fucking bastard, as you used to call him, ruined everything with his existence.

The minute you saw him you knew something was off with him, you couldn’t help but notice small details when the two of them gave you a lift home, sensing the aroma of a perfume you used to smell a lot in Seoul inside his car, it was impossible Gyeong-ah was the only woman riding it, and you tried to slip a question without looking suspicious.

‘’Sangmin-ah, do you have sisters? I can’t believe how much you understand my Gyeong-ah’’ you said with a smile.

He made eye contact with you through the mirror and showed you a wide grin.

‘’I don’t have any sisters, but you’re so sweet, I really try to take care of Gyeong-ah as much as I can, she deserves it’’ he answered immediately.

‘’You’re right, she deserves it’’ you repeated, still smiling.

Shut the fuck off, you contained yourself from saying that out loud, nodding and looking around to find any other clue.

You couldn’t find anything, but he was definitely a cheater, and you, not having any solid proof, didn’t know how to break the news, so you pretended to not know anything to find the correct moment to say it.

Still, you left little comments every now and then, not blaming him, but leaving a trail of doubts around, doubts that sadly were never enough for Gyong-ah, fracturing too much your relationship.

You even thought that maybe you were exaggerating too, maybe deep inside you just tried to find a reason for her to end things with him, he was never going to stay, he said it before when you three had dinner, he’d go back to Seoul next year, and contrary to all predictions, thanks to your friendship, you liked it here enough to stay.

The future wasn’t bright at all, but it was enough for you, maybe in a couple of years you could escalate to a better position, you’d get benefits, you would walk around the beach every Sunday morning, and then you’d go and have breakfast with Gyeong-ah.

You had to apologize, for the sake of your friendship.

However, you didn’t have to, or more than that, you could never do it, because three days later Gyeong-ah passed away.

Waking up in your free day, you sent her a text to ask for an hour of her time to talk, but she didn’t answer in fifteen minutes, and you just knew something was wrong.

Taking a cab to her house, you saw the ashes all around, and how her room was the one who started it.

‘’It seems the oven was on’’ you heard one firefighter say.

Dropping to your knees, you denied it, because she always checked everything at least three times before going to sleep, it didn’t matter how drunk she was, she would check the door, the kitchen, and would unplug her phone charger from the wall.

‘’I saw on the news that chargers can get on fire’’ she said, and you laughed in her face because that only happened once every thousand times, ‘’Well, with my luck, I could be that one time.’’

‘’Shut up’’ you said while knocking three times on her wooden headboard.

 It had to be him, it had to be him, it’s the only answer, she would never do it, she wouldn’t let her oven on in a million times, they didn’t know her like you did, and sadly, soon no one would remember her like you did.

Calling her mother was the hardest part, you couldn’t remember how the hug of a mother felt in real life, and when she wrapped you into her arms, you broke down with her, because even if you didn’t know her, Gyeong-ah had been telling her about you, always finishing the calls with the same sentence, ‘’Don’t worry mom, my friend’s is taking care of me here.’’

‘’I’m so sorry, I should’ve taken more care of her, I’m so sorry’’ you repeated in her arms, and her mother denied it, saying how that wasn’t your fault at all, but you felt as it was, because you could've stopped her from seeing him, you should’ve stopped her the minute you figured him out.

You didn’t, and it didn’t matter how many nights passed, you couldn’t sleep with the guilt consuming you.

Looking at the beach at night one day, not being able to sleep again, you remembered how the first day you arrived you were told to never go to the sea at night, and right there, you understood why that driver told you that.

For the first time ever, you thought that maybe, maybe, you should just get lost in it, like the fishers, like the tourists, like the innocents.

You weren’t none of them, none of them deserved it, but you were convinced you did.

And you were about to go meet her, until you realized that, there, on earth, you could continue taking care of her, because even if she wasn’t there with you anymore, you could do what was necessary to make Sangmin pay for what he did.

You wouldn’t survive another I should’ve, so you would do it, you would do what was necessary, and nothing would stop you.

Finding Sangmin’s information wasn’t hard, you just had to do a couple of clicks on the internet, and you had everything you could need.

If only you had done that before, but you refused to go back into social media, all your profiles were flooded with hate comments from people you used to work with, or your boss’s family, or people who didn’t know anything at all but felt the right to talk about your body, and she had also deleted all kind of social media for a similar reason, so none of you knew how he was about to get married, and how you had been right about the smell of her fiance's perfume and all the little comments you had left around.

It was simply impossible how they met was a coincidence, getting sex extorted just like Gyeong-ah? He knew how to get close to her and break down her walls, he planned everything, and finally, you had no doubt about doing something.

You planned to wait for him out of his job, you wanted to do it quick and easy, and no one would suspect you, you looked like a good girl, you were a good girl, you were one until he appeared and stole the little family you had, he stole your whole life, and you would do it too.

With a knife in hand, you waited for him to get out of work, and you thought that he would drive his car, but he didn’t, so you followed him down the dark street to an unknown place.

Gripping onto your weapon, you felt your heart punching your ribcage, nervous as never before.

I can do it, I can do it, you repeated inside your mind, trying to convince you again.

But you couldn’t, and entering an alley, letting him go, you started to cry while hugging your knees, apologizing to Gyeong-ah for not being able to do anything for her.

You felt a cold sensation touch your nape and you jumped away from it surprised, looking up at the sky night and watching the guy from work you never liked.

‘’Drink this’’ he pushed the water bottle to your face, almost obliging you to take it, and your heart started to beat again, knowing he had seen what you tried to do, knife on the floor easily to differentiate even in the dark.

‘’Gyeong… Su?’’ you tried to remember his name.

‘’Go home, sleep, and tomorrow go to work, the manager keeps calling you and leaving messages, your position is still yours’’ he said, almost immediately walking away, but you stopped him gripping his jeans.

‘’You saw me’’ you affirmed,

‘’I did’’ he didn’t try to lie.

‘’Don’t you think I’m bad? I tried to do something really bad.’’

Your voice almost broke, and your hand on his jeans was trembling.

He looked down at you, maintaining eye contact and scanning you, and you felt as if he was inside your mind, finding exactly what he wanted to know.

‘’You’re not bad’’, he said after a long silence.

‘’You don’t know me’’, you replied as soon as he finished talking.

He shrugged and pulling apart from your grip, he talked one last time before leaving, ‘’That’s true.’’

Completely alone there, you cried again until you felt satisfied, and looking up to the dark clear sky, you apologized one last time to Gyeong-ah, and to your mom, and to you, and after drinking the whole bottle of water, you walked to the beach, burring the knife into a hole in the sand you dug with your own hands, to then go home, take a shower, and sleep.

The next day you had to go to work, and you needed to sleep at least a couple of hours.

When you arrived at work the next day you told yourself to completely ignore Gyeong-su, not wanting to talk with someone who had seen you in such deplorable moments like the ones you had.

However, again, you were just a girl, and not having anyone around you anymore, he was the closest thing to intimacy you had.

The relationship you had wasn’t deep enough to be called a friendship, he rarely talked about himself, only keeping you company when he smoked a cigarette in his break and when his turn finished.

You can’t remember how you started to get closer to him, you just remember seeing him smoke near the plastic table behind the supermarket, near the entrance in which all trucks left the daily order of products, and sitting next to him in silence, missing the smell of the Marlboro Gyeong-ah used to smoke.

Somehow, it brought you a calm feeling, and your mind stopped thinking, becoming a blank sheet that didn’t need to be filled with anything, not memories of her, or your past life in Seoul, or Sangmin, only breathing and watching the ugly metallic green bars that surrounded the place as if it was a prison, separating it from the outside world.

He didn’t mind you staying there, and days after days, you started to notice his presence around more often inside the supermarket, and the little behaviors he had.

‘’A man of few words’’, you called him when he didn’t answer your question if he was from Seoul too, thing he never acknowledged, but it was too obvious.

He didn’t have the province dialect, he had a soft way of slurring words whenever the manager or his superior in the fish section made him questions, like most boys in the city did, especially those who worked as part-timers in convenience stores, a polite but tired tone, and you were sure he had received some kind of superior education because when you carried a copy of Justice written by Michael Sandel, he followed it with his eyes until you pushed it inside your bag.

‘’Those who insist that only bleeding wounds should count believe that post-traumatic stress reflects a weakness of character unworthy of honor. Those who believe that psychological wounds should qualify argue that veterans suffering long-term trauma and severe depression have sacrificed for their country as surely, and as honorably, as those who’ve lost a limb’’ you quoted the next day while he lighted his second cigarette and seemed more relaxed next to you.

‘’I’m too dumb for that’’ was the only thing he said before exhaling a long line of smoke.

You don’t know why, but after hearing him so sure while saying that, and after such a long time, you were able to laugh again.

Things were slightly getting better after two months, you could sleep at least four hours now, and you were doing things again, not only staring at your TV when you arrived home. You opened old books she had left at your house, cleaned your place more, and ate proper meals, and you still cried, but at least you were able to smile when you saw pictures of her in your phone.

Still, there were moments in which you crumbled, and one of them was when you heard what happened to Sangmin a long time ago, only a couple days after you tried to do… that.

You heard it from one of the clients, how weird things were happening, first the death of a former worker there in the supermarket, and then the death of her boyfriend, and how now there were other two girls dead.

‘’This never happened before those people started to move here’’ her companion, another elderly woman said, and of course they referred to the people like you, people that weren’t born or grew up there, but you couldn’t help but only think in what you had heard about Sangmin.

Sangmin was dead, and what should’ve brought you joy for fair karma, instead made you hide in the warehouse, crying and spiraling into your thoughts about Gyeong-ah, and how you didn’t even make an effort to make sure she got her real justice, cleaning her name from everyone’s mouths.

‘’What’s going on?’’ you heard Gyeong-su’s voice come from behind the shelf you were leaning to.

‘’He-He’s dead’’ you answered, you didn’t need much to think of how to phrase it, he knew who you were referring to.

‘’Isn’t that what you wanted?’’ he asked you.

You stayed silent, muffled cries hiding in your knees.

‘’I don’t know, but I’m hurting so much, and all I keep thinking about is how Gyeong-ah must have suffered more than me when she left this place, and how I’ll never be able to know if he received what he deserved, even more, how because of that I’ll never be able to clean her name, and now no one will remember her as clearly as I do’’ you then confessed.

Feeling like a sinner telling a priest all of her secrets, you felt as if something had left your chest free, your mind finally was out there, formed into words and tears, and you didn’t see his face, but that let you speak your mind even more free.

‘’I see’’ he murmured, ‘’and you’ve thought that all this time, I guess.’’

‘’Yes,’’ everything was out, your tears sliding down your cheeks and your body lighter, almost numb.

‘’Well, you shouldn’t compare your pain, or hers, or his, each of you went through things none of you three know, she doesn’t know how you’re mourning her death, you don’t know how she suffered the process of it, and none of you know how he suffered his, those are things none of you will ever know, so it’s okay if you hurt, but you don’t have to think much into what he deserved, because you’ll never have an answer, and you shouldn’t condition what you feel into an answer you’ll never receive.’’

You sniffed your tears, looking at the packages of toilet paper in front of you, wishing you could take one to clean your face.

‘’And I do remember her, not as clearly as you do, of course, no one will, she was your friend, but I remember she liked to buy fresh tuna every Friday to eat with you, she always had a blank face when the manager scolded her or when she talked to rude clients, and she would rarely smile, but with you, she would do it in front of others sometimes.’’

You exhaled.

That was exactly her, she liked tuna when you hated it, and you picked on her for having an old man's taste buds, you preferred chicken over it, but you let her win every time one of you had to choose, and yeah, she did stare blankly at others, including you, but if it was a good day, she would smiled at you with those white pearls she had inside her mouth.

Feeling as if some heavy weight was lifted from your shoulders, you exhaled and let your head fall to the shelf you were leaning into.

‘’You two were the city pair’’ he finished, making you laugh.

‘’You’re also a city boy’’ you said, and he coughed, ‘’and you’re a liar, you said you were dumb.’’

‘’I am, I never understood that book’’ he said before grabbing the box between you two, lifting it, and going out, leaving you there alone.

You felt as if finally, you had taken a step in the right direction, moving from your position, you cleaned your tears with the ugly blue vest, too hard for your cheeks, and waking you up with the pain.

A week later another girl died, and your boss had to organize a meeting.

‘’It seems the current situation is getting dangerous, especially for young girls, so the superiors have ordered all the women to leave while the sun is still up’’ he said, and you don’t know if it was because of an empathy people from where you grew up didn’t have, but you got surprised when none of the men argued with it, everyone nodding in unison.

You had permission to leave early, so you did it, not being able to share Gyeong-su’s company when your turn finished, only seeing each other in the first break.

‘’You’ll miss me’’ you said the first day, and he never made any sound to acknowledge your silly jokes, but this time he let a soft snicker, almost imperceptible, that made you smile too.

You tried to always do what you were told to, so you left before the sun went down, but that day you were in charge of counting merchandise in the warehouse, so you didn’t see how late it was until you checked your phone.

It was even later than the time for everyone to leave, so you quickly grabbed your things, said good night to your male coworkers, and left.

You tried to not get paranoid with the news, they specified that the killer only directed its attention to pretty girls, loving long legs and soft features.

Gyeong-ah and Sangmin cases were mentioned every now and then to repeat how dangerous things were getting, but they were never related to the girl’s deaths, being two different situations.

That’s why, you tried to convince yourself you would be okay, you didn’t share any of the characteristics the killer loved in their victims, and he supermarket wasn’t far from your house, but you didn’t dare to walk alone anymore between all the buildings, so you waited for a cab to appear and take you home.

You made sure to always be careful when you were alone, yes you took cabs, but you always had a pen on your hand and your phone ready to call 119 in the other, checking the routes and if the driver looked at you too much.

Everything was okay, you were already relaxed when you saw your building in front of you, so you shoved your things in your bag, pulled out the bill, and paid, walking home with an easy mind.

You never thought you would get snatched right next to your door.

With a hand on your mouth and the other on your tummy, you felt how you were dragged into the alley next to your building, darkness surrounding you while you felt a disgusting presence behind you.

The one who pulled you in was a man, taller than you, with big hands and an erection already ready to make your worst nightmare real.

You started to cry, muffled by his gloved hand, you couldn’t say anything when you heard his voice calling you sweet treat, ordering you to be silent if you didn’t want things to get ugly.

Begging Gyeong-ah, your mother, and God to send you help, you nodded when he said he would let you go if you were good.

‘’Promise?’’ he murmured.

‘’Promise’’ you agreed, closing your eyes and letting his hand cup your pussy with force, not making a single sound, only trembling with tears running down your cheeks.

He pushed your face to the wall and made you show him your bubbly ass, touching it as much as he wanted without an ounce of shame.

You thought this is it, my karma, repeating inside your head how this was your punishment for all the things you should and shouldn’t have done.

The man couldn’t even open the button of your jeans before you heard a loud bang and his body fell to the floor.

Staying in your position, you pressed your face to your hands and didn’t dare to turn around to see what was making all that noise, it was metallic, and it didn’t stop even when the man didn’t make a single noise anymore.

When things got silent, you, still trembling, turned your head to see what, or who stopped the man.

You never expected to see Gyeong-su covered in black clothes from head to toe, paint all over the floor, covering the man's body and face, and the can totally smashed and tossed to the side.

‘’Uh?’’ was the only thing that came out of your mouth.

‘’I knew he was going to come for you, this sick bastard’’ he said.

You didn’t understand why he thought that, and watching your white sneakers get ruined with the blood and the red paint, you started to cry even more, still in silence.

‘’It’s okay, you’re okay’’ he said, giving you your messed bag and, once again, leaving you alone.

You called the police, the number still there on your screen ready to only press the green button, and when you did it, you said your direction as clearly as you could.

‘’Did you see who did it?’’ one of the officers asked you, and you stayed silent for a good minute before answering.

‘’I didn’t’’ then you said.

The two cops keeping you company looked at each other and then the one writing things down nodded.

‘’I see’’ was the only thing he said before leaving you alone.

You didn’t have much to do, the man was dead, and now nothing could be done.

Was that justice? You thought.

They immediately recognized him as the killer, he had a patron, pretty girls who lived alone, and all the bodies showed the same signs of abuse before dying.

Perhaps he had lied to all of them, and he had lied to you, convincing you that if you did no sound you would live, but you’d have died just like them at the end.

But did he deserve to die? Just like Sangmin, wasn’t there another way to get justice for your pain? For yours, Gyeong-ah’s, and all those girls’.

Still, what you knew was that, even if it was contrary to all your values, knowing how valuable life was, Gyeong-su didn’t deserve any punishment, he had saved you, and justice for you, was that he continued free out there.

The next day before you went to work, you saw rests of the red paint still over the cement, thin layers already dry after so many hours, cracked with the breeze of the sea, and you thought how, if Gyeong-su hadn’t saved you yesterday, what anyone else would have seen in daylight was your cold body lying out there.

All your coworkers hugged you when you arrived, and your manager told you to take the day off if you needed, but you couldn’t go back home or you’d start to overthink things again, if what you did was the correct thing to do, if he deserved to die like that, if you were a killer too, taking into account how you saved Gyeong-su’s secret.

When the first break came you walked out to the plastic table, but Gyeong-su wasn’t there, and hugging your coat, you sat to wait for him, but he didn’t come.

He avoided you for days, and you thought the pseudo-friendship you had was over, until a detective arrived and started to make questions about what had happened to you that day.

‘’You really didn’t see who did it?’’ he asked, and you denied again, already used to say that lie as if it was an unchanging truth, ‘’Do you mind if I walk around here a little bit?’’

You didn’t have a reason to say no, but your eyes caught how Gyeong-su opened the curtain separating the counter from the freezer where all the fish waited to be cut and packed to be sold, and how he immediately took a step back, not letting himself be seen.

You don’t know why, but you knew Gyeong-su didn’t want that detective to see him.

‘’I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to see any more cops lurking around, he’s dead, and looking at you only brings me back the bad memories of that night’’ you didn’t know why you said something like that, it didn’t make any sense, all the older ladies loved to see the cops near, feeling a lot safer, but you didn’t know what else to say to make them leave.

His younger companion frowned and was about to say something before the detective stopped him and nodded, leaving you his card and telling you to call him in case you ever needed help or remembered something.

You didn’t answer, shoving it into one of the numerous pockets your vest had, and turned your back to continue writing down the stock you were counting.

‘’Ugly girls should learn how to talk prettily at least’’ you heard the younger say.

‘’Shut up, she’s a victim, she doesn’t have to entertain you with pretty words’’ the older quickly replied, ‘’and you don’t know what you’re saying, her face is very pretty.’’

Jand Nam-gam, you read in the card he left you.

He seemed like the kind of person who was only respected by the people who were near him, used to receive no as answers, and a bit blunt and unsophisticated, from the city, just like you, but without the calm and respectable vibe a detective from there usually had, and too honest and correct to survive there for long.

When you went out for your break a couple of hours later you saw Gyeong-su sitting on the table, smoking and waiting for you.

You sat next to him and for the first time, you showed him your palm, asking for a cigarette too.

Without looking at you, he gave you the one he was smoking, still new and ready for you to take it.

Your fingers brushed his when he gave it to you, and you tried to not think much about it, but you always thought too much, so to shut your mind up, you inhaled the cancer stick and held it as long as you could, slowly letting the grey cloud appear in front of your face.

The city had the same grey color it used to have before Gyeong-ah, and you weren’t sure how long you could stay there.

Your imagination wasn’t filled with a future there, you didn’t want to walk around the beach anymore, you had no one eating breakfast with you in your head, and you were afraid every time your turn finished and you had to go back home, running the few steps to open your building door, and only feeling safe once you checked that your oven was off and you put a chair behind your secured door.

‘’I didn’t ask for your help’’ he then said.

‘’Me neither’’ you answered.

He nodded, still looking at the metallic bars surrounding you.

‘’How did you know I didn’t want him to see me’’ he asked, breathing the air and pushing his hands inside his apron pockets.

‘’How did you know he was going to come for me’’ you asked back.

He shrugged like every time you asked him anything he couldn’t ignore.

‘’I just knew he would come for you, after all, they said he followed pretty girls.’’

It felt completely different from when the detective said it, and you bit the inside of your cheek, feeling a warm sensation reach your cold hands.

‘’I just knew it too’’ you said, tossing the rest of the stick to the floor.

It tasted like shit, and you couldn’t understand how he and Gyeong-ah smoked it every day.

‘’I won’t come to work tomorrow.’’

You felt incredibly alone again, you knew he meant that he wouldn’t come back, he would, again, leave you there on your own.

‘’Can you walk me home today? I’m afraid of going on my own.’’

He knew why you asked him that, a goodbye, a farewell, so he nodded and told you to wait for him at the front door.

Your turn finished and then you were waiting for him right where he had told you, a good girl following his words exactly like he wanted.

You stayed there, hands playing with the leather strap of your bag, the bag you used when you lived in Seoul, too noisy in the province, reason why you preferred to go around with your canvas tote bag, a lot more discreet and common, but that one had been ruined with the red paint that day, and just like your white sneakers, you had to toss it away.

When he appeared he nodded at you, indicating you with a tilt of his head to lead the way.

You two walked on silent, you couldn’t make any question or comment or silly joke, and it was obvious, by the grip on your bag, that you were nervous.

He noticed it, and pulling out his hand from the pocket of his bomber jacket, he grabbed your left hand and held it all the way to your house.

You felt incredibly calm, thinking how you shouldn’t because you knew, deep down, that he was dangerous. It was impossible, by the fear of facing the detective, that he hadn’t killed more people, and it was clear he was being followed.

That makes sense, you thought, if you weren’t sent to that province because of work, like Sangmin, you were hiding, and he was just like Gyeong-ah and you, escaping from things that had happened in the past, or perhaps, things that were still happening now.

But you hadn’t felt so safe in so long, because you knew that, with him, nothing would snatch you next to your house, and that no one would be able to enter your house, or that your oven was never going to magically explode.

With him by your side everything was okay, you were okay, and that was enough to make all those preoccupations disappear.

When you got to your entrance you let his hand go to open the principal door with your key, and he was behind you, observing you, you could feel his eyes on the back of your head, but when you turned to him, he let his eyes fall to the floor.

‘’Do you want to drink some coffee?’’ you asked, and he nodded, following you inside and walking up the stairs until you got to your little apartment.

It wasn’t amazing, but it was yours. You didn’t have an elevator, and you always had to go up to the fifth floor to let your clothes dry with a big basket, but it was okay, you liked your building, your neighbors were quiet, and you felt safe and sound there. Until that happened.

Inside your room you let him close the door for you, and you didn’t feel the need to immediately put the secure on, leaving your coat on the hanger instead, and taking off your shoes, you walked to your little kitchen, putting water in an electric kettle to boil it.

You could cook in your kitchen, but you never used the oven, and you preferred the electric kettle over the traditional one because once the water was done, it would automatically turn off.

Then you sat on the floor, leaving two cups, sugar and coffee over the little wooden table you had, and turning on the TV, you looked at him in the eyes until he sat beside you on the floor.

He was wearing an ugly grey sweater that kind of smelled like fish, mascaraed with what you identified as the cheap deodorant you sold in the store, but you were used to the fish smell he had, so you didn’t mind.

‘’Do you mind if I take a shower?’’ He said not much after.

You nodded, the news had just started, and you mindlessly changed the channel to try to find anything interesting.

 ‘’Sure, there are towels in the cabinet, I’ll get you some clothes, they’re mine, but I’m sure they’ll fit you’’ you said, and he didn’t waste a second to walk to your bathroom.

You gulped while changing the channels, you knew what you were going to do, but you hadn’t done it in so long, you needed a second to recognize what that sensation forming on your abdomen was.

You hadn’t done anything at all, and you felt yourself already getting wet inside your panties.

The click the jug did after the water was done caught your attention and you stood up to get the water, pulling out the cord from the plug, but knowing you had to get him his clothes, you walked to your little closet to find a t-shirt and some pants that could fit him.

He wasn’t buff at all, but he was lean, a normal guy there, not fat, not big, not small, and taller than normal, so you decided to find the biggest clothes you had.

You were choosing when you heard the door open and you felt him walking behind you, hands surrounding your waist and wetting your back with the drops that were still sliding down his chest.

‘’I chose this’’ you said, lifting the clothes so he could see them, feeling his breath touch the side of your neck and his nose brushing your skin.

‘’I’ll wear them later then’’ he answered, pushing you to your closed closet and making you turn to him.

You weren’t that short, but just then you noticed how much taller than you he was. He made you lift your eyes to him with a touch to your hands, taking the clothes from your hands and letting them fall to the floor.

‘’I- I don’t remember much how this was… it’s been years for me’’ you admitted, and he nodded.

‘’It’s been years for me too’’ he said, not as ashamed as you.

With the same hand that tossed the clothes, he made you look at him and accept his mouth over yours, taking the lead in the kiss and erasing all your thoughts.

It felt good, his lips were chapped, and he had the taste of smoke in his mouth, but you didn’t mind, it finally tasted good, and moving your hands to his neck, you let him press his body against yours, the lower half of his body only covered by one of your towels.

He wasn’t hard, but you could feel something poking at the front of your jeans, and you wanted him to lay on your bed, so after a couple of long minutes, and just after he had enough of your mouth, you murmured something.

‘’Let’s go to my bed’’ you begged with hazy eyes and weak legs, leaning onto him, who was holding you with his body against your closet doors.

He nodded, and taking your hand, he guided you there, making you sit and look up to him.

Your lights were on, and you felt nervous, you had never had sex with the lights on, you only had a couple of partners, and they always turned them off before fucking you.

‘’You can turn off the lights if you want’’ you said, looking at him in the eyes.

He didn’t answer, his hand went to your cheek, and he pressed the tips of his fingers over your skin, caressing it and then brushing your wet lips after all his kisses, slightly red and plump thanks to the way his lips covered them.

He didn’t acknowledge what you said, bending down to retake the contact between both mouths.

Full of life, unlike his usual demeanor, eager, he pushed you to your back, making you receive him between your legs.

Slightly harder, you felt the border of his boner only covered by the fabric damp your jeans, but he didn’t stop kissing you, one hand lying on your neck and the other helping him stay still over you to not let all his weight crush you.

You opened your legs as much as you could with the jeans stopping you from going too far.

 ‘’You know what I’ll do to you’’ he said after a minute.

You nodded.

‘’I won’t stop’’ he warned.

‘’I don’t want you to’’ you answered.

You knew no one was going to save you from that place, it wasn’t his job, so you’d accept this as enough, and you’d let him go without resentment and an I should’ve done it.

‘’Will you be okay?’’ he asked, afraid of hurting you more.

‘’I want this to happen’’ you said, making him look at you, caress your cheek once again, and give you another kiss before his hands went to your button and helped you take your jeans off.

Sliding the clothing off your legs, he pushed your thighs wide open, and feeling the texture of the towel, his now hard cock against your clothed clit made you whimper.

‘’It feels good’’ you said, to what he agreed with you.

‘’It feels good’’ he affirmed.

He did soft movements to stimulate you with his cock, only letting you feel what would soon be inside you.

Looking at your eyes flutter, he pushed up your shirt, showing him your black bra hugging your chest.

Touching the skin uncovered by your cups, he pressed his thumb to see how far it could sink into your skin.

Your chest was bigger than normal, just like your tummy, but he liked it, it looked comforting and soft, perfect for him to rest a little bit, after his exhausting life, it looked like a taste of paradise.

You pushed his hands while taking your shirt off without asking, to then unhook your bra and toss it to the floor.

‘’Touch me properly’’ you said, making him snicker.

You had forgotten how that little grin looked like, and you smiled when it appeared again.

‘’Okay,’’ he replied, unabashedly grabbing both tits and groping them, looking at how the skin flooded his grip between fingers, and feeling good with both sensations, his cock against your cunt, and his hands in your chest, you closed your eyes and moaned, moving your head to your side and cover your mouth with the back of your hand.

He didn’t let you hide yourself for long, making you open your mouth for him and pushing his tongue inside your mouth, obliging you to let the moans out.

Your panties were incredibly wet, and he left one of your tits free to sneak a hand inside them.

Juices gladly receiving him, he groaned when he felt you dripping all over his fingers.

Without asking, just like when you took your shirt, he introduced a finger.

You cried with his mouth over yours.

His finger was long, and it sent a delicious shock to your core, making you frown at how good it felt.

‘’More’’ you begged, and he gladly obliged, pushing one more finger to make scissoring motions and prepare you for him.

‘’Shit, it’s begging for it’’ he groaned when he heard how much your insides were squelching, asking for him to fill you up.

‘’Yes, yes’’ you cried, listening to his nasty approbations telling you how good you’d take him, and how much he couldn’t wait to fill that sweet pussy of yours.

Fucking you with his fingers, you moaned as much as you wanted, not caring to hide anymore, it was your only night with him, so you decided to not hold anything.

His mouth went to your nipple, tits falling to the sides of how heavy they were and shaking with his attention to your cunt.

He licked them, first with just the tip of his tongue, but then let it flat so it covered your buds and made you shake even more.

‘’Su- so good’’ you cried.

His fingers were making you dizzy, and you had to get up on your elbows to see his hand inside your panties moving to make you cum.

It was hard to see yourself like that, so naked, so exposed.

You couldn’t hide the way your tummy rolls were in front of his eyes, the marks on your skin, or the way your big tits didn’t look perfect on your body, but he seemed to not care, even liking it, guiding his mouth to your nipples again and looking into your eyes when he left soft pecks over them.

‘’You’re going to cum for me, right?’’ he murmured when you started to clench over him.

‘’I-I don’t know’’ you cried, never having an orgasm with your partners before, you didn’t know if that was an orgasm, or what the hell was it.

‘’You’re going to’’ he didn’t ask, ‘’and it’s because of my fingers, so good’’ he pushed his fingers faster and harder, stretching your panties with how brutal he was.

You couldn’t maintain your position and dropped over your back, crying with your walls pulsating around him.

‘’That’s it, so fucking good, my good girl’’ he said still moving his fingers.

You tried to push his hand away, eyes rolling to the back of your head and tears falling down your cheeks of overstimulation, and he stopped when you left a singular loud cry out, but only to take off your messed underwear and toss the towel wrapping his hips.

He let you take a second to breathe properly again, and pushing up your legs, he made you show him your glossy cunt, lips open and ready for him.

He couldn’t help it, it was all shiny and pretty, he had to taste it a little bit, and sinking to his knees over the floor, he pulled your body to the border of the bed, mouth going directly to your pussy.

Drinking your orgasm, the slurping sound was so nasty you had to put your hands over your face, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

‘’That’s too much’’ you tried to stop him, but he, mouth still stuck to your entrance, and nose poking at your clit, denied with his head, smearing your arousal over his face.

‘’You have no idea all the things I want to do to you’’ he replied, pushing his thumb to your opening, and pressing his tongue over your clit this time.

You cried, hands going to his wet hair and trying to pull him away, but he was stronger than you, and you never had a chance to stop him.

You couldn’t fight him, so you wanted to finish quickly instead, hips jolting to feel him more and grasp that sweet second orgasm you felt coming.

About to call his name, he separated and said something before going back to his work.

‘’Lee Tang’’ he said, and that was enough for you to know what he meant.

That was his name, not Gyeong-su, but Lee Tang, and you thought, that fits him a lot more.

‘’Lee… Tang’’ you said as you could, and then the only thing that came out of your mouth was a ton of Tang, Tang, repeating proudly his real name.

You were so close that you could feel your toes curling, walls ready to let your orgasm free and relax again, and your back was curving, your body needing to cum once again because of him.

But he was so cruel.

He stopped, and getting up his knees, he thumbed your clit, flicking the little button a couple of times before he slid his dick between your lips, making you feel his length resting over you.

‘’Please, I’m so close, please’’ you saw the light of your room above him, watching his dark eyes examine you, searching for another answer in your eyes.

You left a disappointed cry when he, instead of touching, walked away to grab his jacket hung next to yours, and sitting, you saw him pull a little box from his pocket.

So that’s why he made me wait for him outside, you thought, he didn’t want you to see what he was buying.

Opening the film package, you saw him sliding the condom over his member with experience, walking back at you and showing you how it looked, slightly jumping over the air, standing hard and thick, and pushing you to your back again, he pressed his tip on your entrance, making you clench over it, and nodded to your past pleading. ‘’You deserve it’’ he said before pushing his member inside.

He didn’t let you adjust, but you didn’t need it, you just wanted him to keep moving, and soon that soft pace wasn’t enough for you.

‘’Fuck’’ you couldn’t hold the curses in your throat.

It felt so good, the weight of his member inside, pushing the limits of your walls, taking what he wanted from you, it was so good your hands searched for something of him to grip, finding his hands over your hips to maintain you in your place for him.

‘’Tang, so good, please make me cum’’ you cried.

One of his hands interlocked with yours, helping you find comfort between all the intense sensations your insides were feeling.

You looked so good under him, your chubby torse facing him, showing him everything he wanted to see, and your thighs jiggling with each of his thrusts.

You were close, and so was he, but he needed something more, a little thing that had been wandering inside his mind since he started to see you differently.

‘’Can you turn for me?’’ he asked, needing to see your pretty ass taking him.

Not answering, you immediately crawled further in your bed, and searching for your pillow, you hugged it, pressing your face to your bedsheets and showing him your ass without any ounce of shame left.

‘’Fuck me’’ you begged again, opening your lips with your fingers and showing him your entrance gaping around nothing, ‘’Tang, please fuck me.’’

His breath stopped, he had never seen something that bold and hot before, and he admired your needy side calling for him to calm you.

Going to you, he pushed his entire length inside, bottoming out and pushing it inside in a single thrust to see your gorgeous back and thick thighs trembling with his cock.

You were crying and hugging your pillow, shoulders becoming smaller and one of your hands on your back searching for his to hold it again.

Lee Tang, not daring to ignore you, his good girl, like that, held your hand.

‘’You’re the one who wanted me to fuck you, and now you can’t take it?’’ he teased, not liking how much he was spoiling you.

‘’No, I can take it, please don’t stop’’ you implored, feeling his hard and fast thrusts pushing your sanity away.

He didn’t care how weak he was to you, feeling your walls wrapping around him like that was like nothing he had felt before, watching the curves of your waist interrupted with your little fat rolls, your ass bouncing against his pelvis with his strength, taking his cock like a gift, and your hand not letting him go even with how hard he was being with you, was everything he ever needed.

Hearing your sweet moans and cries all out when you came, with your sweet walls fluttering around him, pushed the last string inside him, and he pressed his cock inside you to let everything out in the condom.

‘’Tang-‘’ you gripped his hand harder.

‘’Yes baby, I’m cumming’’ he exhaled, letting all inside you.

 ‘’Okay’’ you said happy.

He wished he could stay connected to you forever, but he couldn’t, and he had to pull out of you to make sure the condom, and you, were alright.

Going to the bathroom to toss it in the trash, he looked at his reflection in the mirror, not recognizing himself with how relaxed he looked.

Tense all the time, he saw his eyes drowsy, ready to rest the whole night.

You, lying on your side to catch your breath, hoped that he could at least spend this night with you, his last night there, but maybe that was too much to ask.

When he came you didn’t look at him, and he simply accommodated behind you, spooning you with a hand over your tummy, letting his hand land there, and sighed.

‘’Let’s get inside the covers, the night is cold’’ he murmured, and you followed his request.

Under your bedsheets, a lot warmer thanks to the fabric and his skin, your mind started to drift away, so you looked at him one last time before falling asleep, closing your eyes when he left a last kiss over your lips.

When you woke up you were alone, feeling incredibly sore, and sad.

You stood up to drink a glass of water, not thinking much about how lonely you felt, concentrating on what would you do later that day to fill your head.

Would you be able to stay? You doubted it, you had too many memories here, and maybe the driver was right, all of you would leave one day.

You were about to go back to bed when you saw a little note next to your electric kettle.

I’ll come back in three weeks was written, and you closed your eyes, happy to not be abandoned again.

You had to stay so he could find you, that was your home now.

[mmimagine-40]

Random Thoughts - Ass , Tits , Thighs

There are three kind of people. Ass guy , a tits guy and a thighs guy.

Steve is a tits guy. He loves his partners chest. No matter how small or how big. He loved them. Even if they are pecks any size he loves. Loving to touch , kiss, lick whatever it might be. He especially loved laying on the chest of his partner. Even if you think you have nothing for him to lay on he still wants to lay on them and finds the most joy in doing so.

If your a female and your wearing a low cut shirt that might show off any kinds of chevage , he is not paying attention. At all. His eyes and mind are only focused on one thing.

"Steve!" Y/n snapped as she was trying to get his attention as she was trying to talk to him about a case. He kept humming like he agreed but he wasn't listening as he stared at her chest. Till she finally pulled her shirt up to hide her cleavages. Making his finally focus on what she's saying.

If your a guy and your working out without a shirt. Steve is off to the side drooling. Just watching the pecks move and flex as you work out.

"Steve?!" Y/n called out as he was bench pressing and Steve was suppose to be spotting him. But Steve seemed out of it as he stared down at Y/n's chest. As he was shirtless. But now he was struggling to push the bar up as he added more weight and needed Steve's help. "Steve!" Y/n yelled as he finally got Steve to snap out of it and help. "I'm wearing a shirt from now on when I work out with you". Y/n said groaning as he sat up. Which Steve pouted at.

Bucky is an Ass man. Like Steve he doesn't care what size of ass. If it was more muscled or round or even a bit floppy. He doesn't care. He just likes them. He loved to have his hand on his partners ass at almost all times. And as his partner you better be prepared for him to slap your ass all the time. He also loved to lay on his partners ass as they lay on their stomach. Although be careful cause he will bit your ass. Even try to leave his teeth marks on your ass.

If your a female good luck getting around to anything if you wear leggings. He will be on you and not leaving you alone the whole day. having you pressed against his front or even having his hand on your ass.

This can be for a guy too if your a guy to wear leggings. But more for a guy he loves watching his boyfriend walk around in his boxer. Those like tight athletic feeling ones. The ones that are almost tight against the skin and end a little below the fold of the ass.

female or male if your doing any kind of squats in front of him, good luck! Cause he is going to be pressed up against you.

"Bucky!" Y/n groaned. As they were trying to do some weighted squats. Bucky agreed to spot , which they knew better then to agree to. But there they were now they were getting ready to pick up the bar but Bucky wouldn't step back. Finally he steps back letting them do the squats. But as soon as Y/n reracks the bar even if its just to take a small break in between sets. Bucky steps back up against them again.

Sam is a Thighs guy. Like the other two , does NOT care what size they are. He is going to be touching up on them, kissing them and so on. Your inner thighs will always be covered in bit marks and hickies. He also loves to lay and sleep on your lap. They are his nap spot. On Sundays he loves to take a nap right on your thighs. He does not care if you are doing something he will pull you away to sit on the couch as he lays his head on your thighs to go to sleep.

If your a male or female if you put on those like thigh high socks and you pull them up and some of your thighs is spilling up over the socks, he's losing it. Kneeling to you and acting like a dog for you.

There is also no way you can sit that won't have him going crazy. Have your legs cross and your thighs squish together he's going crazy. Especially if your a male and you sit in that male way of leaning back with your legs spread. He's on his knees with a nose bleed.

He once paid Bucky to dare you to crush a watermelon between your legs. Even if you can't crush the watermelon, Sam is drooling. Just watching as your thighs wrap around the watermelon and flex squeezing the watermelon. It seconds he's pulling you away from the watermelon and to his room to ask you to squeeze his head like you did that watermelon.

That's it Just my thoughts on the guys!-MM

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Male Yandere Husband x Pregnant Female Stepford Wife Reader

(I don’t think you’ve done anything like this yet? So if not, think you can try?)

I want him to be a master manipulator, but really delusional in a loving/devoted sense. Believing that what he’s doing is for our best interest, as well as the baby’s. That includes confining us at home, always being with us 24/7 when we’re outside our home, etc. And generally getting us to be 100% dependent on him, (like we already weren’t heavily dependent on him before…)

Thank you!!! 💝

Yandere! Husband! Politician x Pregnant! Fem! Stepford! Wife! Reader

SORRY IT TOOK ME LONG TO GET THIS REQUEST DONE!

I had a hard time incorporating the yandere stuff with such a willing reader, but I tried LOL.

This one's only got two sections, since the both of you are married already, so it went straight to the yandere-ness.

But here ya go! Requests will be back on once more!

BTW, the master list is up now! It's my pinned post.

Yandere! Politician name: Maximus

Maximus.

Just like his name, he was the greatest Politician out there. Whatever that means.

He's charming, intuitive, generous, kind, and compassionate.

Every election season, if you ask people who will they vote as a mayor or whatever position Maximus ran as, they'll say

"Isn't it obvious? Of course it's Maximus!"

So it didn't faze the people that he won whenever he ran.

As young as he is, he's always been active in the political sphere. From the student council, he's always been in the highest positions out there. Secretary, Vice President, and President.

Hell, if you ask him to do treasury, then he'll gladly accept and do it much better than the current treasurer or auditor. No specks, no crumbs, a clean liquidation sheet.

And when he graduated as the University president, local parties flocked towards him to invite him in their political party.

So many choices for the great Maximus.

After many days of researching and finding out the dirt, secrets, strengths, and weaknesses of each political party, he chose a party suited for the straight laced man.

That, and that you were there.

You were the unlisted assistant of your father, who was running as vice mayor, and is finding a mayor to be with.

This was perfect.

Maximus has always liked you.

Scratch that.

He always loved you.

You were the daughter of a well known governor inside your city. Pristine, shy, quiet, and always had a smile in your face, everyone back in school liked you. You were the epitome of etiquette and manners. If parents want somebody to compare to their child to belittle them, it would be you, little miss perfect.

Both of you live in a small city, almost a town size. So everyone knew each other, and you both lived in the same district.

it's just that he didn't fly under your radar from how busy he is.

Unlike your father, you never joined politics. You just sat there, studied, did some small knitting projects or sewing. Maybe even drawing if you felt like it.

At first, Maximus didn't really pay you any attention, until he heard your conversation with your friends.

"What? Seriously?"

"I am serious." Your melodious laugh echoed through the empty halls. It was already 5pm, and only a handful of students are left.

"But... That's so traditional lol."

"I know, but really. I just want to stay at home, serve my husband, take care of our kids... You know, the gist."

"But, you said you'll do Social work, Home eco, or culinary in Uni. So what's up with that?"

You just smiled at your friends until they said "oh..." in understanding.

Those courses can help develop your home rearing skills.

"I mean, sure. If you're happy with that." One of your friends finally broke the silence, followed by "meh's..." "eh..." and grunts of approval.

"Thank you for accepting for who I am." You smiled once more at them and they gave you an understanding grin.

Then and there, Maximus became curious about you.

Maximus also had a traditional way of thinking. Not all women, but his wife should just be staying pretty in his home, while taking care of their children...

He knew that only a small percentage of people would be open to that notion, and he was fine with it.

It did made him feel lonely sometimes. He's always dreamt of a domestic life, but the woman is always a faceless grey glob. He just can't see somebody in his life who would be willing to be like that.

So when he heard your conversation, that night in his dreams, he woke up sweating and confused when the faceless glob greeted him. But rather than the glob, it was you. Smiling with two children who looked like the exact perfect mix of the both of you.

"What the fuck..." He breathed out of his mouth, shaking his head.

Now, every night, his dreams were infiltrated with you.

And that started in highschool, all throughout University, up until you both graduated.

Your paths never crossed once more, since he's in AP classes most of the time, both of you were on different blocks in senior highschool despite having the same strand, and he chose Political Science in University while you did BS in Home Economics. But he always peeled his eyes for you. Dismissal, lunch, even breaks.

His friends teased him for having such a long time crush, and he just laughed and waved his hand.

And when the both of you graduated, he's about to confess his feelings when he saw you talking with a man, with eyes so wide and filled with adoration.

He felt his heart break.

He was numb, standing there and looking at you interact with the man who was smiling down at you with a ruffle on your hair.

He felt irrationally jealous.

Wait, him? Jealous?

He never felt jealous.

Did he?

He doesn't know anymore.

All he could see is you holding a bouquet of lilies and smelling it while the man hugged you.

He wants to rip the man limb from limb, desecrate his body, and feed it to the alligators.

Why is he wrapping his arms around you like that? He never heard you getting a boyfriend?

And he has a lot of connections to know.

Then he scoffed, like a breath of fresh air rushing into his lungs.

He needed a break.

When did he act like this? When did he become so...

He doesn't even know what it's called.

He's always been a good man. One that doesn't know anger, jealousy, possessiveness...

But what's this? Feelings that stirred inside him threatened to spill out.

So he ran away before it would get worse.

Years later, seeing your name in that certain partylist, he knew he had to join it. Just for a one sided closure he needed.

"Hello! You're Y/N right? You went to the same... School as me!" Maximus said, leaning his upper body to meet your face. His face soft, gentle, and mellow.

"O-oh! Hello sir Maximus! I knew we did, but I didn't know you knew me..." You shyly answered, your thumb brushing against the back of your other hand.

Maximus gulped.

He didn't realize how much he is missing you.

His eyes scanned towards your desk and his eyes widened a bit when he saw the man once more with you in a photo, but this time, with your father and mother.

So, with his trembling lips from the sudden hope bubbling inside him, he pointed.

"Is that your family?" He whispered and you nodded with a soft smile of adoration.

"Yes. I love them a lot." You said, caressing the photo. "That's my dad, mom, and my big brother."

"Oh! That's amazing. It's rare to see a tight knit family nowadays. I mean, families falling left and right, can't people just communicate and--" Maximus rambled, not even caring if the things he's saying is insensitive. He was just so happy that he actually has a chance to woo you.

"Is that so? I mean, my family had fallouts, and sometimes communication is not enough. Actions speak louder than words, of course." You said, carrying the conversation further.

Maximus grinned before taking a seat beside you and talking about deep, familial stuff. With him sprinkling hints of him being a traditional man.

You didn't miss the hints, evident from the blush forming on your cheeks and the shyness emanating from your words faltering.

And he found it adorable.

Once you both ran out of things to debate, he held your hand gently.

"Hey, y/n, what do you think about going on a date with me?"

The rest is history.

"Darling, I'm home!" Maximus yelled once he got inside the mansion. "Today was a bit of a mess..."

Maximus heard an excited gasp and shuffling before he saw you waddling towards him, with a 7 month pregnant belly.

"Welcome home, darling." You greeted him with the smile he loves.

You took off his coat and hung it on the rack, before guiding him towards the kitchen.

"I helped cook today! The dinner for this night is lamb ch... Maximus?"

Maximus has a frown on his face, looking at you with such a disapproving look.

"Darling, why are you working in the kitchen?" He gently asked, caressing your belly. "You're pregnant, you need to rest always!"

You shrunk down a bit, sad.

"But I want to serve you again..."

Maximus' eyes softened at your words before giving you a loving kiss on your forehead.

"I know, darling. But that's what the chefs are for right? The servants too. I hired them to take care of you. Of us." He said, guiding you to the couch and gently sitting you down. "I don't want you getting tired. You're already being burdened by being pregnant and nurturing our child."

You nodded, easily swayed by his words.

"I know... Give me a kiss?" You asked, tilting your head up. He chuckled and gave you a soft peck.

"There. Now stay there, alright? We'll be eating here in the living room. You're already walking too much." Maximus said before hugging you and going to the kitchen.

Once he got to the kitchen, he grabbed a knife and threw it at the chef that was already cowering in the corner.

"Why did you let Y/N work?" He growled out, his eyes sharp, deadly, and authoritative.

Ever since you got married to Maximus, his protectiveness shot through the roof. He doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are, he doesn't know when he doesn't know what you are doing, he doesn't like it if you talked to people he doesn't know personally.

He installed cameras, mics, and planted people around you that he knew he can scare into submission.

Especially now you're pregnant, he's making sure you always stayed beside him.

When did he become so twisted, from the nice, generous, and kind politician, to something like... Him?

"S-sir, the madam insisted on cooking for you!" The chef trembled out.

You were a rare type of woman who was so open to just being at home, and be the wife he needed to see every time he goes home.

He can't let you go.

Ever.

Maximus sneered and bit his nail, eyes sharp with thoughts.

"I need to drill in more thoughts into her pretty head..." Maximus grumbled.

You were already so willing just being inside the mansion, and so open to his manipulation that you weren't aware of.

He told you that you don't need to go out, that the world was a scary place for a wife like you. And that whenever you go out, you needed to be by his side.

He's already working so hard serving the city, and serving you is a bonus, and a privilege.

He's so occupied with taking care of the place both of you growing up, yet had the time, love, affection, and care to single you out and shower you with his attention. Why would you need to do anything other than serving him as his wife? That's blasphemy, and selfish.

He drilled that in your mind.

And you were so accepting of the fact too.

"If she insisted on helping in the kitchen once more, tell her 'what would sir think?', okay?" He spat out at the poor chef before suddenly smiling. "Don't tell anybody this, or else your family gets it."

He walked away with a triumphant smile and grabbed the food from the counter.

He walked towards you, and saw you scratching your cheek softly confused and scared, almost.

"What's wrong, darling?" Maximus asked, worry etched on his face as he sat down beside you.

"Oh, uh, I just..." You gave him your phone, which was ringing with the number of the exclusive nursery room designer he hired. "C-can you talk to him? I don't know what to do..."

Maximus shivered, seeing you so dependent on him.

Clueless on what to do, on what to say.

He smiled before taking the call for you, with his hand holding yours.

You didn't even start eating yet, waiting for his words to start.

His cute little wife can't even eat by herself.

How... perfect.

This was his perfect life.

With the perfect wife.

And he'll be damned if he didn't protect this.

If he didn't protect you.

So just be swayed with his words and put yourself in his palm.

He will make sure you are well taken care of, and that your pretty little brain will not hurt from thinking too much.

That's a promise.

[t0rturedangel]

Hi!! Could you do HCs for kyle, jimmy and stan with a reader on their period??

╭ . . . Periods ੭

• ➛kyle / jimmy / stan x fem reader ╰ warnings / notes :: Corse i can <3 ! swearing, slight ooc. I'll try to post a part 3 of 'a guide to becoming noticeable' later or tomorrow

KYLE BROFLOVSKI - ✮ •

━ Surprisingly, KYLE actually knows quite a lot about periods so he'll be of a lot of help !

━ He'll bring you snacks and those heat packs / pads if you want

━ hell, if you asked he'll even go buy you pads / tampons just show him the specific one you want with a picture, he'll probably be so shit at finding the actual stuff you need with just a description

━ he'll call you up like " Hey uhm, babe, what- what kind do you want again ? "

━ If you ever have mood swings he'll switch up too to try and help you, like if you're sad he will comfort you as best as he can, if you're angry he's trying to calm you down " HEY ! Sweetheart ! It's okay- everything its fine ! "

━ If he has free time from studying or working he'll sit with you and watch whatever you wanna.

" Hey babe " Kyle gave you a nervous smile, when he left the house you were completely pissed at him- so much so that you were close to screaming profanities at him but now you just looked sad, once hearing his voice you perked up giving your boyfriend a sad smile " Kyle ! " You leaped off of the settee and ran into his arms, practically in tears- your mood swings and cramps caused to be in a hysteria. Kyle sighed, in slight relief as you weren't angry with him anymore " Yes, i'm here- you okay ? or at least feeling better than this morning? " he kissed your forehead and you shaking your head was all that was needed for kyle to sweep you off of your feet and carry you to your shared bedroom, ready to lay with you and watch whatever caught your eye.

JIMMY VALMER - ✮ •

━ unfortunately for you, JIMMY doesn't know much when it comes to periods just that you bleed.

━ yeah, when he was taught puberty he wasnt paying attention, now this is biting him in the ass. hard.

━ you'll have to explain everything to him while trying not to tear your uterus out due to the sheer pain and soon enough he knows more than he ever did.

━ you learn something new everyday, eh?

━ When ever you're sad or anything Jimmy will try to crack some jokes to lighten the mood and your own one- " Hey b-b-babe, w-what did the ah-ahh .... what did the ah-ahs .... what did the butt cheek say to the o-other ? "

━ When ever you send him out to get pads / tampons he'll probably call you up asking " Hey ba-baby, im in t-the p-pad isle, what size p-pussy you got ? "

━ he saw the meme on twitter once and thought is was funny asf

━ But seriously when you need someone to talk to or just lay with he'll always be there for you.

" you al-alright there [ n-name ] ? " your boyfriend grinned at you, seeing that your mood has lightened after one of his jokes, it even made you laugh after you seemed to be in such a bad mood- its that or your mood switched again " Yeah ! I loved that joke Jim ! " You laughed softly before leaning against him, enjoying his company " G-glad ya did " he looked over at you " w-wanna go watch [ f-f-favorite youtuber ] ? " with a nod the two of you retreated back to the room you both shared ready to laugh and just enjoy yourself before your period cramps started to kill you once more.

STANLY MARSH - ✮ •

━ If you think Jimmy didnt know anything about periods you clearly haven't met STANLY MARSH.

━ When you first started your period in your relationship, he was freaking out and genuinely thought you were dying, you calmed him down a bit before you rushed into the bathroom yelling something about ' heat packs ' .

━ Stan called his dad, hoping the man knew something about periods since, y'know he's not only married but also has a daughter. But, as per usual, RANDY was of no help; " Stanly, listen to me carefully- dont piss of a girl on her period. They get scary "

━ This thus left Stan to continue to be confused.

━ Later though you explained everything to stan, clearly things up for him and jesus christ he was a HUGE help after.

━ Shamelessly buys you pads and tampons. All sizes, winged and not winged, for regular periods and heavy ones. " Surprise? I just wanted to surprise you baby, plus now we wont have to buy some for a while ! "

━ He'll also get you food, usually something you mentioned to like! then he'll just lay with you and ramble about his day- and listen to yours.

" STAN ! " you yelped, a blush creeping onto your tear stained face, clearly you werent expecting your loving boyfriend to pick you up after he found you in the bathroom, gripping onto your legs as tight as you can to try and subdue the pain of your cramps until you found a heat pack. " Calm down, i'm bringing you to bed, there's food there and heat packs, we ran out so i bought more " he rambled while walking to the bedroom, a proud smile on his face. Laying you down on the bed he himself laied down next to you, holding you close to him pressing kisses on your face " So- tell me about your day "

[blackcherryvelvet0909]

Lovers' Lookout (Malleus x GN!Reader)

“How does one choose?” Malleus thought to himself, chin held by his thumb and forefinger. His gaze was set upon the menu before him - the one listing all the ice cream flavors available, to be exact. They took up the whole half of the board, each one just as good as the other. The fae had stood there for a while now, perplexed on how to choose just one. It was too bad they didn’t have a way to sample every one. 

“Do you have a favorite flavor?” you asked, neck craned up to look at him. 

“I have a few,” he replied. “I wish to try something new, however.” 

“Well, which one looks most interesting?” 

“All of them.” Well, that sure helped, didn’t it. “There are some I have not heard of till now, such as caf…caf-ee..”

“Café au lait?” 

“Yes, that one.” He looked at you as though you held all the knowledge in the world. “What is it?” 

“It’s a type of coffee,” you said. “It’s pretty good! I think you’d like it.” 

“Hm,” Malleus contemplated some more, then pointed down at one of the ice cream tubs behind the glass counter. “And what is that?” 

“Mmn…” You looked up at the menu to try and figure that out yourself. “Cotton candy, I think.” You pointed to the two adjacent to it. “I think those two are blue moon and banana split.” 

“Blue moon?” Malleus tilted his head in question - he looked almost like a cat. 

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know why they call it that. It’s pretty good though; Cater had me try it a little while ago.” 

Malleus nodded, once again in contemplation. He seemed to grow more frustrated by the minute. He couldn’t choose just one! He’d suggested buying one of each, but you reminded him what happened the last time he did that: brain freeze central. At least Lilia got a good laugh out of it. Just then, an idea popped into your head. You tugged on the sleeve of Malleus’s bodysuit to get his attention. 

“Would you like me to choose for you?” 

Those chartreuse eyes sparkled as though out of your mouth came the most brilliant idea in the world. “You can do that?” 

You laughed at his question. “Yes! It’s not like they’ll get mad if I do.” 

A small pout formed on the dragon’s lips as he mumbled to himself. “As though such a scolding would frighten me.” You knew it wouldn’t - but it’d probably make him feel like the size of an ant. That pout turned into a smile as he nodded. “I trust in your choice, Child of Man.” 

Your smile widened as he gave his trust to you, as he often did. You gave his wrist a small squeeze before you released it and walked up to the man at the counter. You didn’t have to think much - you knew exactly what flavor to get. Once you handed the man your madol, you stepped back to let him work. You peered up to see Malleus had yet another pout on his face. “I told you I would pay for them,” he said. 

“I know.” You gave his arm a small pat. “But you always buy stuff for me; I want to get you things when I can.” 

You knew the notion was silly - Malleus had more money than you could dream. Even so, you loved to get him little things every now and again, whatever you could afford. It wasn’t just because you wanted to, but because you loved the expressions he wore whenever you came to him with those little presents and treats. He always looked like a kid on Christmas for how excited he was! What you didn’t see, however, was the soft look in his eyes when you walked back to get your ice cream. Would you ever know how much he adored you…

You thanked the man at the counter before you walked back to Malleus. As you handed Malleus his milkshake (he’d wanted to try it instead of an ice cream cone), he eyed it curiously. “What kind did you get me?” 

Nothing was given away as you grinned. “You’ll just have to try it and find out!” Before he could, you took his wrist gently and began to pull him along with you. “Let’s sit outside - it’s so pretty out!” 

“Yes,” Malleus’s gaze was centered on you as he spoke, “it certainly is.” 

That soft gaze, once again, was unnoticed by you as you opened the door out onto the parlor’s shaded patio. You sat yourselves at a small table in the corner, which overlooked the beach below. It was such a wonderful day outside - it wasn’t too hot, and there was a constant cool breeze. The sound of the waves crashing onto shore in the distance filled your ears, and the smell of the salty sea mixed with that of the creamy treat before you. Your eyes fixed on Malleus as he adjusted himself in his chair. It was still a little odd to see him in such casual beach attire: a black bodysuit hugged his torso, while below he wore black swim trunks with green highlights and a pair of black sandals. Aside from the horns atop his head and the slits of his pupils, he appeared like any normal man at the beach. 

You watched as he brought the straw of his milkshake to his lips. He sucked in a small bit of the ice cream that came up the thin tube; to your delight, his eyes widened in surprise as a wide smile crossed his lips. “This is wonderful!” His gaze settled on you, once again resembling an excited child. “What is it?” 

“[Favorite flavor]!” His smile was contagious, for you soon found yourself grinning. “It’s my usual go-to. I’m so happy you like it!” 

As you sipped your own milkshake and relished the cream on your tongue, Malleus let out a soft chuckle. “Thus why I said I place my complete trust in your decisions.” He leaned forward, arms folded in front of him on the table. He looked so casual like this…you could almost forget he was a prince. “You never cease to amaze me, Child of Man~” 

His gaze was intense - you couldn’t help but shy away as your cheeks reddened. Malleus did not tease you for it, simply releasing another chuckle before he, too, took another sip of his milkshake. Then he took another, and another…and another. You quickly swallowed your own gulp as you protested, “Malleus, don’t drink it so fast! You’ll get another brain freeze!” 

Immediately, Malleus ceased his persistent slurping. His eyes went wide as he stalled in the action, as though Lilia’s laughs from the past incident echoed in his head. He swallowed down the gulp in his mouth and let out a deep exhale, then sat down the styrofoam cup on the table. “I apologize, I…got too carried away by the taste, I suppose.” 

You giggled, “It’s okay, Mal.” You reached out and took his hand from across the table. The shining green pools that were his eyes locked with yours as you spoke to him softly. “You were just excited, that’s all. There’s no shame in that - I think it’s cute.” 

There was no magic in the world that could hide the pink that ghosted Malleus’s pale cheeks. His pupils dilated like a cat’s would, which only amplified his adorableness. Soon, he smiled from ear to ear and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. His voice held all the affection in the world for you. “Thank you, [Y/n].” Malleus didn’t speak your name too often…it was nice to hear it again. His eyes narrowed in amusement as he added one other thought, “I find you just as endearing, if not more~” 

It was your turn to blush. A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as he watched you shy away from his gaze and take another sip of your milkshake. As you leaned back in your chair, so did he; as your hands parted, Malleus replaced the contact by brushing his foot with yours. The next few minutes were filled with idle chatter, mostly about what the two of you should do next. Before a decision could be made, there came a loud voice somewhere in the distance - it made you and Malleus abruptly turn your heads in that direction. 

“Wakasama!!” 

Oh Seven, here he comes! Both you and Malleus’s hearts sunk at the thought of Sebek finding you, Silver likely in tow. Malleus turned to you with panicked eyes, as though to ask you for another idea. Sadly, you had none. There was nowhere to hide; you couldn’t run either, as the only way to was in Sebek’s direction. You didn’t want your time alone with Malleus to end so soon - you both spent long enough trying to get away! 

In a flash, Malleus bolted up from his chair. It slammed against the railing of the patio as he stepped around the table and over to you. Suddenly, his milkshake was shoved into your arms. You clutched both of yours as you looked up at Malleus for an answer as to what he was doing. “Hold tight to the milkshakes,” he said. A yelp left your lips as he lifted you out of the chair and into his arms, grip on you firm yet gentle. “If you get scared, close your eyes; know I will not drop you.” 

Before you could ask anything, Malleus jumped clear over the patio. You forgot how high he could jump. A scream tugged at your throat, but you kept it in for fear of Sebek hearing you. As gravity set in and you both began to fall to the ground far below, you did as Malleus said and closed your eyes. For a moment, you were in a freefall. The wind licked at your skin, whipped your hair; you gripped the drinks tightly, but not too strong for fear of the styrofoam giving way. The moment Malleus’s feet hit the ground, he took off running into the brush. 

When you opened your eyes again, it was as though you were in a car. Palm trees passed by you in a flash, vision blurry as Malleus raced to find a spot to hide. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, he’d found it. You didn’t quite know where you were; you seemed to be somewhere in the hills, for how far away the waves were now. How fast had Malleus been going?! That question quickly fluttered out of your mind as you took in the view before you. It was no short of breathtaking. 

The sea glittered like a gemstone in the sunlight; the beach resembled a bed of silken gold; the little figures of people in the town below bustled about like ants on parade. The scene was framed by the vegetation around you, little trees and large bushes of different types. Malleus gently knelt down onto the grassy hill that overlooked the area and sat you beside him, just as another cool breeze blew. 

“It will take some time for anyone to find us here.” He gently took his milkshake from your hand and got comfortable on the grass. “At least, I hope so.” 

At first, words were lost to you. Your eyes still took in the view, breath still thoroughly stolen from you. Malleus glanced down at you, then out at the world beyond your hiding spot, then back at you again. A triumphant smirk played on his lips, “I trust this spot is to your liking?” 

“It’s…it’s beautiful,” you breathed out. You pried your gaze from the outlook to focus on him. “Have you been to this spot before?” 

“I have not.” He sipped his milkshake before he continued, “I simply came upon it while we ran; I thought it was out of the way enough, and that it would please you.” 

You smiled and nodded. “It does.” You giggled as you thought about the escape you two just made. “Just…next time, if you can, warn me before you go off sprinting one hundred miles an hour.” 

Malleus let out a small laugh. “If time should present, rest assured that I will.” 

The two of you sat in silence for a short while, simply taking in the view as you enjoyed each other's company. Without thinking, you scooted closer to Malleus and leaned your head against his bicep. His eyes widened and he glanced over at you, just as you glanced up at him. Your smile, the twinkle of your eye, how the sun hit your skin through the shaded natural overlook…had his heart ever beat so fast? 

“Thank you for spending the day with me, Malleus. I know we’ll spend more time together in the future, but…this. I’ll never forget this.” 

Malleus felt his heart swell; it felt as though his soul would ascend from his body and offer itself to you. Should you request it, he would hand over both happily, for you already held them in the palm of your hand. He took that palm as he smiled and gave your hand a loving squeeze. “Nor will I, [Y/n].”

There was so much more he wanted to say, but for now he kept it to himself. He could tell you another day - for now, he simply sat with you on that grassy hill, in your secret hideaway, and basked in the moment. The two of you were unaware of the crimson eyes that watched you, high above in one of the trees, knees bent in a crouch as to keep himself from being seen. It wasn’t hard to track the two of you down - he’d spotted you both on the patio minutes before. As he lingered there, the man smiled, fangs poking out as he let out the quietest chuckle of delight. Adorable, the both of you. Ah, how wonderful the throes of young love could be. 

Lilia quietly climbed out of the tree and left the two of you alone to bask in that unspoken love. 

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

--

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

--

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

--

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

--

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

--

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

[naughtyknickers13]

Jason Todd x F! Reader NSFW Alphabet Headcanons

Notes: this is my first ever NSFW post! I could not stop thinking about my personal NSFW headcanons for Jason. Eventually, I gave in and wrote this.

Warnings: general NSFW-ness (if there's something else i should add, let me know!)

Other: If you're a minor, there's nothing I can really do to stop you, especially since I doubt you'd advertise it. But please, don't look at this if you are. Just wait until you're older. You have time, I promise.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is the sweetest after sex. Making sure you have everything you want or need, helping clean you up, and cuddling when all that is done. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your ass, definitely. He is an ass man, no question. 

He really loves his thighs, especially because he knows they turn you on. Jason knows how hot he is. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum always either goes in you (pussy or mouth, he's not picky) or it goes on you. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He had a wet dream about you before you'd ever gotten together. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's not very experienced, though he has some. He didn't really have much time. Once he was old enough that he'd want to do it, he was busy being Robin and trying to impress Bruce, then he was dead, then he was on a revenge mission suffering from pit madness. It would only be after all that that he could get some experience. 

But he's a fast learner. He pays attention to what you like and what you don't. He also makes sure to ask you and that the two of you talk about those kinds of things.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

His favorite is missionary, where you can see him, and more importantly, he can see you. Your reactions,that lust-filled look on your face, all of that.

He also likes doggy where he can just pound into you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He teases a lot, but he does not joke. Sex is a serious thing for the two of you. There's the odd bit of awkwardness and laughter here and there, but it's not a common thing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Neatly trimmed. Definitely has a trail from beneath his belly button to his member.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

It depends somewhat on the situation. He can be VERY romantic, or not very romantic at all. It's always pretty intimate, though.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He'd prefer to have you, but when that's not possible, he'll do it himself. Using a picture of you, of course. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Size kink.

We all know it. No explanation needed.

Orgasm denial.

He wants you BEGGING before he lets you come. 

Bondage/Restraint

Having you tied up and at his mercy is something Jason LOVES! He definitely wants to be in control, and seeing you helpless and all ready for him really gets him going. 

Face-fucking (both ways). 

Letting you use him for pleasure can really get him going. It's one of the times he'll let you have control. 

And seeing you on your knees while he fucks into your mouth? Oh, yeah, that's a big yes for him. 

Riding

Whether it's his thigh or his dick, seeing you use him to get yourself off is something Jason LOVES. Another one of those times where he'll let you have control. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He'll do it just about anywhere, but he prefers the bedroom. Private, uninterrupted, and comfortable. There are definitely times where he'll do it semi-public. Only if you're okay with it, though.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

More like what doesn't? But your ass is one of the big ones. And if you start talking dirty, that gets him going real quick! 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Gun/knife kink

Growing up in Crime Alley and being a vigilante, Jason has seen the atrocities that people with guns and knives have caused. He does not wanna bring that into his life with you or the bedroom. Sex with you is about being intimate and in love. 

Threesome

Sharing you is a definite no. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He's gotten GOOD at eating you out. He knows what makes you tick, what gets you screaming, etc., 

And he has no problem receiving oral. That's always great, of course.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be either depending on the situation, but most often it's fast, rough sex. You at his mercy, begging for release.  (Remember, orgasm delay kink.) Plus, Jason likes control.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He'll happily do a quickie. He'd prefer to be able to do more, but that's not always an option and the boy gets the need for you pretty often! 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He'll take some risks and he'd be okay e8th experimenting unless it's something he knows he's absolutely against, or you're against it. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ohh, he's definitely got good stamina. Can definitely go at least 3 or 4 rounds. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I don't think he has any for himself, especially since he's got you. But the man would DEFINITELY have one of those vibrators with a remote that lets him control it. Man's a tease. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A LOT. He likes to tease you until you're begging him, barely able to form a coherent sentence out of sheer need. The man's good, and he knows it. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's not very loud. More grunts and low moans than anything else. 

You, on the other hand, he wants to make you scream. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He may be an ass man, but he also really loved your boobs! 

Scratching his back with your nails is a big yes for Jason.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's just big. Thick. Long. All that.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high. He gets horny a lot. Especially now that you're in the picture and he has someone to want. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He takes a while to fall asleep. He spends that time holding you and thinking about how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, and how lucky he is that you're his. He'll call sleep eventually, but it takes a while and only if you're in his arms. (But then, where else would you be?)

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Since it’s now spooky month how about some more Bob Velseb vore? Maybe a few dates in for the his newly acquired boyfriend and him, showing off just how much he meat he can handle. Or if you don’t wanna how bout just some mass vore, with oral, pec and pit vore with weight gain and disposal?

I can make both of these the same thing, easy stuff. Obviously, this a follow-up to the old V.elseb asks, but I don't feel like searching for them to link.

Barry had to admit, he didn’t think things would go so...well? When the giant, cannibal serial killer basically told him they were dating, Barry figured it was just a little game and he’d be dinner himself sooner or later. But then he survived their first date...and the next...and the next...and the next. And now, a year later, Barry is starting to wonder if it’s not really a game.

Sure, tons of other guys have died over the course of their dates. Like...a lot, a lot. But not Barry. Bob licks him a lot, yeah, and might stick a hand or his head into that slimy, deadly maw...but he always lets Barry go again with a chuckle. Now, it’s Halloween again. Their one-year anniversary. And Bob wanted to do something special. And it involved the large house party that is happening tonight.

Bob is wearing his usual outfit, a thick red sweater and his devil face. Barry had let Bob do some face paint for him, too, so he’s a skeleton this year. A joke, since Bob likes to mention how he ‘has no meat on his bones’. Barry is only half confident that, if he did bulk up, Bob wouldn’t eat him.

Right now, at least, that drooling grin is much more focused on the house they’ve walked up to. Music blares out from inside, door open and already a few people milling about. Everyone is dressed in costumes of some kind and is in some state of tipsy. Barely anyone is even paying attention to them as they walk up...which really just makes the next part easy.

Bob yanks a guy dressed as a superhero up off the porch stairs by the back of his shirt. Maw opened wide, Bob lowers the guy right in, a few wet slurps and gulps sending him away. He barely even got a yell out before Bob’s jaws clack shut and his belly sloshes with live meat dropping inside. The killer slurps over his lips with a groan and pats his gut. “Mmm...now that’s good eatin’...”

Barry can’t help the slight chuckle that comes out of him. The guy didn’t even bulge Bob’s gut out, and it’s gurgling thickly around him. “How many people do you plan on eating, anyway?”

Bob slurps over his lips and looks down at Barry with wide, hungry eyes. “All of ‘em, darlin’.”

“...what?” Barry knew that Bob is a big eater. But he’s usually careful about where he goes to eat and how many people it is. He’s never seen the big guy go for more than ten meals at a time, and even that is when he’s being indulgent. The party is way more than that. “You can’t be serious.”

“Just watch.” Bob chuckles and pats his gut, the porch stairs creaking under him as he walks up. Three more people are lingering around the porch, and Bob does the same thing to each of them--hefts them off the ground and into his drooling jaws, slurping them away with practiced skill. By the time a pair of twitching cowboy boots are disappearing down his gullet, his groaning guts have begun to bulge out his shirt, peeking out of the bottom ever so slightly. Bob looks to Barry, blasts out a thick belch into the smaller man’s face, and then waddles into the house. Barry can only follow in stunned silence.

Bob’s massacre continues inside. The loud music helps to muffle a lot of what happens. Sure, people are more likely to notice Bob devouring others. It’s hard not to when he’s snapping his jaws down on people mid conversation, or walking up to clusters or people and just shoveling them down the hatch. But the yelling doesn’t do much, and no one is able to get away from those drooling jaws.

People try to grab onto their friends, and it gets them sucked down right after. Other try to rub, but Bob’s size makes it hard to get away from him, and he always grabs them and pull them into his maw. A few braver or larger guys try fighting him, but getting close enough to do so all but confirms their fate as food.

Before long, the living room of the house is mostly empty. Bob huffs, pushing a pair of kicking legs into his gullet. He doesn’t even swallow, just sends them down with a long push. “Nnf...there...” Bob slurps over his lips and pats his gut. It’s heavy, sticking out before him several feet and nearly on the ground. It’s bulging around the various people inside, limbs and heads and awkward shapes from costumes stretching him out. His sweater has ridden up on him completely, exposing the pale, hairy flash. It’s churning and rumbling wetly, working hard on all of the meat inside. Bob belches deeply, a couple stray bits flying out of his jaws--a plastic gladiator’s helmet, a boot, and a bone that definitely wasn’t a prop, among other things.

“W-Wow...” Barry murmurs, just staring at that massive gut. He’s never seen it this big. He reaches out, pushing on it and finding it taut. He gives it a rub, earning a content huff from Bob. If it wasn’t for the face paint, Barry’s blush would be very obvious. “Okay...you were able to eat a lot, I’ll give you that.” The gut gurgles thickly against Barry’s hands, as if agreeing. “But you’ve got to be full now, right?”

“Hm...” Bob taps his chin, looking down at Barry over the curve of his gut. “...I s’pose I could give my gut a break.”

“Alright. Maybe we should go before anyone else shows up then, just so--” Barry stops when he watches Bob pull his sweater off and casually toss it onto the couch he just cleared of its occupants. “...what are you doing?”

“I said I’d give my gut a break, darlin’.” Bob stretches his arms out, definitely showing off a bit--his gut has always been round and soft, and while his arms and chest had a bit of that softness as well, he had some well built muscle mass. “Didn’t say I was done.”

“But...” Barry trails off as Bob goes waddling off, towards the kitchen. A few more people are inside, making food or getting some that’s been left out. Barry stands in the large doorway, watching as Bob hoists up a couple of guys.

The two men find themselves getting shoved face first into thick, furry pits. They start to kick immediately, but Bob gives their heads a good shove, and they slip right in. Then they’re sinking deeper, disappearing into his body. It wasn’t just his jaws that he can eat with, after all, and while he had his preference...Bob was hardly far from full. In no time at all, a couple pairs of twitching feet disappear behind black pit fur, and Bob’s arms are bulging out slightly more than usual.

He moves right on, grabbing a guy rummaging through the fridge. He’s dragged up and over the curve of that bulging, stuffed gut. He gets out a surprised yell before his head is crammed between Bob’s pecs, and just like before, the man is simply sinking into the muscles with little resistance. A few tight flexes, and the man is gone, leaving Bob’s chest slightly more bulky than it had been.

The few remaining people in the room are put away just the same. Bob makes eye contact with Barry, arms folded behind his head, a blindly grasping arm and a twitching leg disappearing into each of his pits. “Think I can’t handle my meat anymore?”

Barry shakes his head quickly.

Bob chuckles and heads out back. The backyard has a lot more guys around, sitting by a fire or drinking on the patio. Just like the living room, the eating continues with no issue. Except it goes much faster, with three spaces to stuff with squirming meat instead of one. Bob’s arms and pecs continue to bulge out with each guy he sends in. They all kick and squirm, but the second they get pushed between his pecs or into the fur of his pit, it’s just a matter of time until they’ve been slurped out of sight.

Barry only stopped watching so he could help. He went back into the house, going through each room and telling any stragglers to head to the backyard. “There’s a fight!” “I think I saw your boyfriend kissing someone.” “Someone’s calling for you.” Whatever he could think of to get them to head out, he said it. By the time he’s double checked the house and returned to the backyard, Bob is already coming back inside.

The killer looks down at Barry, who walks directly into his gut. Barry had to back up just to properly see Bob’s face. His gut is still massive, but digestion is already taking its toll, the mass inside getting more compact and growing smaller. His pecs and arms are also massive now, bulging and flexing as they try to contain all the squirming meat. Barry can see an arm or even a head surface from between Bob’s pecs or his pit hair, but a single flex sucks them right back into place. If it wasn’t for the massive double doors, Bob wouldn’t even be able to fit inside.

Barry can’t even say anything. He just stares, and it makes Bob chuckle. The smaller man is gently ushered along, back to the living room, and Bob settles onto the couch. It breaks almost immediately under him, but he just settles in and pats his gut. “Happy anniversary, darlin’.”

“You...did this for the anniversary?” Barry asks. He slowly raises his hands to start rubbing along Bob’s gut, then up to his pecs and along his arms.

“What can I say? I wanted to show off a bit.” Bob pats the top of his gut with both heads. He tips his head back and lets out a deep, rumbling belch into the air. Barry swears it makes the entire house shudder. More bits of costume bounce around, and at least a few bones, too. “Figures I’d put on a show for ya.”

All these people are digesting for Barry, then. Some...god, fifty or so partygoers who were just trying to have a good night are now just food. Packed into Bob’s hellish guts, or stuffed into his tight, musky muscles, doomed to die, just so Bob could ‘show off’ for Barry. The smaller man pushes his hands a bit deeper into Bob’s gut, finding more resistance, and even getting another wet belch out of the killer. “...thanks, Bob. This was...wow.”

Bob chuckles and settles back. “Glad ya enjoyed it. Happy anniversary, lambchop. Now then...” WIth a mighty yawn, Bob closes his eyes. “I’m gonna sleep this off. You have fun down there.”

Before long, the sound of heavy snoring is joining the thick rumbles of Bob’s gut and the crunches and snaps coming from his muscles. And Barry enjoys it all, rubbing over every inch of the man’s body, feeling it work and process all of that meat. Up until he fell asleep against that rapidly softening gut.

Come morning, Bob was up first, yawning and blinking sleepily. He can feel his little lambchop sleeping against him, a rather familiar feeling at this point. Bob would have stayed like that if not for the wet rumbling in his bowels demanding attention. So, with a bit of effort, Bob grunts and rises to his feet.

Bob’s stomach wobbles as it drops in front of him. It’s always been heavy and round, but it’s gotten at least twice as large, hanging out at least a foot before him. He notices that his thighs and ass have had a similar shift, given how tight his pants are on him. But he also has a lot more strength to pair with that. His arms are bulky now, all solid muscle. His pecs are about the same, large and strong, resting slightly on top of his gut.

Bob smirks and scratches his gut gently, getting a wet groan in response. “Bet lambchop will love this...” He looks over at the man in question, seeing Barry still sleeping on the ruined couch. Bob grabs his sweater and pulls it down over his head. It only half covers his gut, and his arms and chest are straining the fabric. He huffs and lifts up Barry next, simply holding the now much smaller man against his gut with one arm. The other arm helps get his pants down enough to let his ass hang out. Bob squats slightly and begins to push.

There’s a bassy fart at first, one that rumbles out for a good while. The only reason it stops is because of the solid mass that starts to stretch him out. Thick, dense logs of shit are all but overflowing Bob’s bowels, and they’re sliding out with a bit of urgency. A heavy thump sounds out when the first log hits the couch, and it’s quickly coiling up. The mass only breaks from its own weight, letting more dung heap up regardless.

Plenty of solids have gotten out of Bob’s body. Bones are the easiest to see, specks of white that break up the dark brown and awkward shapes that stick out every so often. Entire skeletons are likely baked down into every log, given the sheer amount of people making up the mess. But along with that is all of the costumes parts. Masks, plastic armor, cheap suits and accessories--they also pepper the logs of shit, all of them worn down or slightly ruined by the acid bath or being compacted.

Despite all of the awkward shapes, the thickness of the logs, and the sheer mass of shit, Bob is having little issue. Other than the occasional grunt or grumble, his dump continues with little interruption. And the mass of shit behind him keeps building up. The couch is smothered fast, the pile rising hire, some hundreds of pounds of shit heaping in the room. Bob has to move forward every so often, just to give himself more space to work with. By the time he feels the last of the crap slop out of him, he’s moved halfway across the room.

Bob lets out a deep sigh and stands up again. He yanks on a curtain to wipe himself clean and pulls his pants back up with a bit of effort. Behind him, the living room is filled with a pile of crap that would put manure farms to shame. It’s tall enough to reach the ceiling at its peak, smothering most of the back wall and sloping down. Furniture has been knocked over or smothered under the thick logs. The smell is almost overwhelming, and it’ll likely never come out of the house. And of course, countless amounts of bones and costume parts stick out all over. In one night, an entire Halloween house party was reduced to crap, and all with no effort.

Bob doesn’t even look back at the pile he made. He walks off, squeezing through the front door, all while Barry sleeps against him. Bob can’t help but grin looking down at him. Nothing cuter than seeing the little guy sleeping against his deadly guts. Must’ve been up for hours, Bob figures. He’ll probably just return to bed once he’s back home, let Barry sleep in.

By the time anyone notices the smell and investigates, the killer will be gone, likely back home to spend the day with his boyfriend. For everyone in town, it’ll end up being a Halloween that’ll never be forgotten. For Bob, it’ll just be the anniversary he has to one-up next year. His cute little boyfriend deserves it, after all.

[yakuzacanons]

Yakuza Headcanons: Watching Spooky Movies

Oooooo it's the spooky season ain't it. Hello hello I rise from the grave to bring you some fresh headcanons for the season. For those with asks still in the inbox, I SEE em, just been busy with my horror movie marathon. Anyways, some headcanons below da cut to tide you over. Also welcome bouncing baby boy Ichiban to the gang!

Kiryu Kazuma

Isn't scared easily by much of anything so it's really easy to get him to watch horror movies. Mostly watches them because someone else is too scared to watch them alone. He's the person they can hide behind or who will tell them when a particularly horrifying scene is over.

Gore doesn't bother him as much as something or someone looking creepy or offputting will. Kiryu still won't get scared but he will get uncomfortable. Most of the time he just reacts by going "Ah... oh!"

Fond of the classics and will gravitate towards movies with a strong and likable protagonist. Likes The Evil Dead, Aliens, and Halloween. Directors don't matter much to him.

Majima Goro

He's a mixed bag. If a movie is well put together, then it can scare him pretty easily. He's most scared of ghost stories or paranormal things. Least afraid of slashers because he thinks he could just beat them all up.

Cannot stand jump scares. Sometimes he evens yells at his TV at home in irritation, saying things like "Oi, whaddya keep makin' loud noises for? Sheesh!"

Honestly, the weirder the movie the better. It might seem stereotypical for someone who looks and acts like Majima but he thinks the whole point of horror is to be interesting. Fond of Takashi Miike movies like Ichi the Killer, Audition, and Over Your Dead Body.

Akiyama Shun

Doesn't watch a lot of movies because he totally falls asleep during most of them. He'll at least give it a shot if you ask nicely though. Honestly more motivated by the fact you might cling to him during the scary parts than anything.

As much as Akiyama is a total ladies' man and romantic at heart, he always laughs whenever characters start being intimate during horror movies. He makes jokes out of it, saying things like "Babe, would you still love me if we were in a spooky movie?"

Movies with a good soundtrack actually help him stay awake. Jump scares annoy him though because if he falls asleep, the noise makes him panic. Fond of monster movies or movies about animals like Jaws, Shin Godzilla, and The Host.

Saejima Taiga

Genuinely not scared of a single darn thing. If you want to watch it, he's down to give it at least a try. He might nod off if he's tired or bored, but he tries his best not to. Horror comedy is okay with him too although he might not get all the jokes.

Most of the time he sits with his arms crossed, paying full attention. He's kind of funny in that he makes noises like "Heh" or "Hmph" when a character is caught off guard by something. Makes an occasionaly "Tsk" sound at jump scares. Otherwise he's not reactionary.

Particularly fond of slashers, probably because those usually have villains that are actually kind of his size. He enjoys the Friday the 13th series, particularly Jason X.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Type of guy to be like "Ooh let's watch this, I heard it's really scary" and then proceed to either get scared out of his wits or say something like "Wait, that's ALL?" at the end. Bases most of his movie choices off of other people's recommendations since he's usually too busy to randomly go see however many movies he wants to.

Doesn't really like horror that's super in your face. Gets more scared by the tension itself than anything. Always has movie snacks on hand.

Found footage is probably his most favorite type of horror. Likes The Blair Witch Project, Noroi, and REC. Fond of director Koji Shiraishi.

Ryuji Goda

Doesn't watch a lot of horror movies but like Saejima he's not scared of anything. He's also the type of guy to drop everything to spend time watching a movie with his partner. Gets a kick out of being a shield or protector during scary parts.

Likes movies with a lot of personality and campiness. Slow burns or psychological thrillers just put him to sleep. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, as long as it's entertaining.

Didn't think he'd end up being much of a horror fan but he's quite partial to John Carpenter. Likes The Thing, They Live, and Christine.

Nishikiyama Akira

One of the bigger scaredy cats of the group. Won't suggest a horror movie but will totally act like he's not at all afraid if you ask to see one.

Honestly, the two of you end up just kind of holding onto each other during scary parts or pulling up the blanket almost over your eyes when a character is about to die. Violence doesn't necessarily bother him but excessive gore kind of annoys him.

Enjoys a good ghost story movie but only if you'll watch it with him. Anthologies are also good too since it offers so much at once. Likes Ju-On, Ringu, and Tales From The Crypt.

Mine Yoshitaka

Likes certain horror movies. Not scared of much but he does get noticably uncomfortable with torture movies like Saw or Hostel. He just finds it to be weird more than entertaining.

Fond of more classic monsters like vampires or werewolves. Mine's the type of guy to actually have a decent home theater setup, even if he doesn't get much time to use it, so he doesn't go to the movie theater much.

Has a soft spot for some of the really old classics in the 30's like Frankenstein or Nosferatu. His favorite horror movie is Interview With The Vampire.

Daigo Dojima

Probably the only one of the boys who actively enjoys slow burns and more psychological horror. He doesn't get opportunities to watch movies much but he does have an interest in the medium as a whole.

Particularly loves anything with spectacular cinematography. Good directing, lighting, or costumes really impress him. Kind of interested in some of the technical aspects as well. Also probably the only of the boys to ever look something up on IMDb.

Especially fond of movies by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. His favorite horror films are Kwaidan, Cure, and Pulse.

Tatsuo Shinada

The biggest scaredy cat of all of the boys. Will attempt to watch a spooky movie with you at least once just for the sake of trying but will honestly just close his eyes if he feels overwhelmed. You HAVE to hold his hand though.

Probably the only one of the boys who actually gets squeamish easily. Gore and blood make him uncomfortable, although he has SOME tolerance in general. He'd just rather watch something that's not super heavy on bloodshed.

Horror films with a particular visual style, especially super colorful ones, make it a lot easier for him as he can actually see what's happening and he feels less worried. Movies like House or Suspiria are good for him. Also likes super over the top movies like The Lost Boys or Killer Klowns From Outer Space as they're so hilarious to him that he forgets to be scared.

Kasuga Ichiban

Somewhat easily scared. He gets more shocked or surprised than scared, honestly. The movie HAS to be interesting to some degree or he will just conk out and there will be no waking him. Doesn't mind jump scares since they help keep him awake at least even if the movie's bad.

Having said that, he does enjoy taking the time to see a movie that's genuinely just really good and talking about it with you afterward. Movies with really good effects tend to impress him a lot. It's also more visually memorable.

Tends to like movies where the main character has special powers. Partial to zombie movies since a lot tends to happen and involves multiple characters. He likes 28 Days Later, The Dead Zone, and Carrie.

[megamindsecretlair]

It Started With a Whisper - Chapter 7

Chapter 6 Chapter 8

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Some sentences are intentional AAVE. Cursing, Angst, mentions of violence, medication for anxiety, guilt. Hurt/Comfort, some fluff. Sorry if I missed some!

Summary: You are the front desk clerk who started a few months ago and you have a major crush on Sam Wilson, the handsome and sweet trauma counselor. You witness some of the battle at the Triskelion and you fear for Sam's safety.

Word Count: 3,022k

Masterlist

A/N: Sam still makes me SICK!!!! He's so adorable. LOL. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! I love hearing your thoughts!

Taglist: @multiversefanfics @chaos-4baby @leahnicole1219

You didn’t know what you would do without Ariel. For the past two days, she had been by your side. The irony wasn’t lost on you. You needed supervision just like your mom did. You tried to be less needy, less worrisome, or less in general. You were no stranger to putting your needs on hold to make everyone around you feel better. 

“Stop it,” Ariel said. You were folding laundry while sitting on the couch. She had thrown on a trashy movie and you were half paying attention. 

“Hm?” You asked.

“You haven’t taken a proper breath since you spoke to Sam. It’s okay to miss him,” she said.

“I know. I’ve said I missed him,” you said. You didn’t know what she was on about.

She snatched the shirt out of your hands and pinned you with a glare. “You always disappear in your head when you’re feeling some type of way. Then you start piddling,” she told you. 

You opened your mouth to argue but no words came. She was right. You hated being a burden. You were the one who took care of others, not the other way around. Your mom was napping upstairs and despite your protests, your dad had gone off to work anyway. Your siblings were in school so the house was as quiet as it was going to get.

“I can’t help it. I feel useless just sitting here, waiting for news. I can’t ask him to update me every minute of the day just because I’m worried,” you admitted. You had facts to fall back on to combat your growing panic. They were trained soldiers. And you were just a lowly civilian who didn’t even know how to throw a punch. What could you possibly do to contribute? 

“No, but it’s okay to talk to me about it. You’re not alone,” Ariel said. You sighed. Per usual, she was right. Annoyingly so. You put the shirt into the laundry basket and placed it on the floor. You sat back on the couch and folded your arms. This felt so weird but you were determined to “relax”.

You made Ariel tell you about what’s going on in her life. It had been your show for the past few days and that wasn’t fair. She was an incredible friend. An amazing friend with the patience of a saint. 

She told you about the new woman she was seeing and she was hopeful that this one wasn’t crazy. You snorted with laughter. Ariel lived for the drama and that extended to her significant others as well. Male or female, Ariel attracted crazies like bees to flowers. 

Ariel took a call while you focused on the TV. “What?!” 

Ariel snatched the remote from the couch and flipped the channel to the news. There was shaky camera work pointed at…three enormous ships floating in the air. What kind of sci-fi shit was this? Aliens didn’t like the defeat in NY, so now they’re back? 

You prayed that your mom was still asleep. If she woke to this…there would be no calming her down. Your dad was the only one who managed it and it took its toll on him. 

The news was reporting a massive dump of information from SHIELD, a spy group used to protect the world from otherworldly threats. So much for that. They couldn’t even stop those aliens. 

They were reporting more news about Steve being a fugitive but already, they were mining information about his missions and how he was still a hero. Fancy that. The news were reluctant to say they were wrong. Clearly it was because they received false information from Hydra. Clearly. 

The camera was blurry as it tried to catch all of the action. You saw fighter jets flying and shooting at the ships, helicopters, and some kind of…bird thing flying around. 

“Shit! Girl, I think that’s Sam!” Ariel shoved her phone in your face. Some idiot on the internet close to the battle was live-streaming it and providing stupid dude-bro commentary. But, the bird-like thing looked like a man. Like a familiar Black man.

“He can fly now?” 

“Hell if I know!” You fought the urge to pace. You were not a pacer. You will not turn into your mom. Sam wouldn’t be in that thing if he didn’t know what he was doing. He had so much explaining to do when he made it back. And he will make it back. You believed it. 

“Are…we sure Sam is a good guy? Tangling with whatever this is?” Ariel asked softly. It had to be asked. But fire roiled in your chest. Sam was the epitome of good. He would not be part of a racist organization. You didn’t pay too much attention to the Steve exhibit when you went, but you knew Hydra was a splinter from the Nazis. The exhibit smacked of further good ole boy propaganda. 

You believed Steve really did those things. You believed he was a hero. But you also knew that there was more to the story. You were content to let everyone believe in the fantasy. But now that you sort of knew Steve, you wondered if he’d be open to questions. You just wanted them for yourself. You wouldn’t blast it to the internet. 

You watched out for Sam as much as you could but the guns on the ships started to turn. They were going to shoot? Shoot at what? The news was no help. They were too busy drooling over SHIELD private files. And the guerilla journalism of civilians on the street were rife with unconfirmed reporting, guessing, and some outright lying. The racist idiots were praising Hydra. Praising them. 

The guns started to fire on each other. Sam was still somewhere in there. Your throat went dry as you watched. Fires exploded on the ships. The screen cut to the news anchors who shuffled papers, looking solemn. They said it was too graphic to show on screen. 

You watched more from Ariel’s phone but debris started to rain down so people were starting to run for cover. You made a strangled noise in the back of your throat. Ariel idly rubbed your back. She told you that Sam was fine.

You sure as fuck hoped so. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to get hurt. Help Steve and Natasha, sure. But not like this. Not endangering himself like this. Again, you were helpless watching and waiting. You hated this feeling. You wanted no parts of it. 

Did that mean you’d have to give up Sam? The thought alone made you sick. Physically ill. Your stomach churned and flipped. Your hands shook. In a short amount of time, Sam got under your skin. He consumed your thoughts. You didn’t want to give him up. But you didn’t know if you were strong enough to endure not knowing.

The news flipped back to the battle. The ships had fallen. The three sided building had collapsed. The death toll and casualty rates were starting to roll in. You didn’t want to see Sam’s name on it. You turned the channel and Ariel tried to distract you with more drama about her love life. 

You felt like you were out of your body. It felt wrong, like it fit wrong. You picked at your nails and your leg bounced. It was going to be a long fucking day.

Later in the evening, Ariel had to run out but promised she’d be back. You told her that she didn’t have to but she knew you. Your siblings were sent home due to the events that happened at SHIELD headquarters. The stupid teachers actually showed it on TV. How was that appropriate? They weren’t babies, they were nearly adults, but still. You were an adult and you barely stomached it.

Then again, the teachers turned on 9/11 for you as a kid. It wasn’t a smart decision but after everything that’s happened the past few years, you were worried what would happen to this generation. Would they be desensitized to the violence? It seemed like it was constant now. Was it any better to bury their heads in the sand? 

You didn’t have the time nor energy for philosophical debates at the moment. You got dinner started. Your dad came home and he was relieved that you managed to keep your mom from the news. It wasn’t hard. She passed out all day. On the off chance that she actually took her meds, they usually evened her out. Which meant she was finally ready to sleep. 

You lost yourself in the mundane task of taking care of your family. You listened to your siblings talk about their day, careful to avoid the huge battle. Poor kids. They shouldn’t have to protect their mom like this. It was supposed to be the other way around. 

Your phone rang and you looked at the caller ID. It was a hospital. 

“Hello?” You rushed to answer.

They confirmed your name. “Sam Wilson directed us to contact you. He’s stable and awake,” they said.

“Oh, god,” you said. You told your family that you were leaving. You had no time for thinking, just moving. You shoved on your shoes, grabbed a jacket, and headed out to your car. You texted Ariel that Sam was fine and you were going to see him.

You didn’t care about obeying traffic laws. The streets were a mess. Emergency vehicles were screaming down the street trying to deal with the aftermath of the battle. The dark streets felt like an omen. But you shook the thought. Fuck that. The hospital said he was awake and stable. And he asked for you.

You made it to the hospital. It was insane. There were emergency workers clogging up the place. A new ambulance rolled through every three minutes. The staff were harried as they directed everyone around like drill sergeants. 

You managed to get a nurse at the front desk to notice you. You told him you were there to see Sam. “Relation?” 

“I’m his…” You sighed. What were you to him? Friend seemed too small. Not after the incredible night you spent together. “I’m his girlfriend.” 

The nurse nodded and told you his room number. You took the elevator up and went to his room. The room was dark and you wondered if he fell asleep while you were on your way over.

“Hey gorgeous,” he said. His voice was strained. But he was there. In the flesh. Where you could reach out and hug him. 

You pushed into the room and half closed the door to block out the frantic chaos outside. You fought yourself, hard. You wanted to crush him. You wanted to slap him. You wanted to kiss him until your lips were swollen and numb.

You crossed the room and caressed his head, his cheek. He had darkening bruises on his face and a few nasty cuts. But he was here. You smiled at him and leaned down to hug him. “You bastard,” you said.

He chuckled and then groaned. “Oh, don’t make me laugh. God, I missed you.” His voice was muffled in the crook of your neck. You didn’t want to let him go. 

He must’ve sensed it because he scooted over in bed and patted it. “You’re joking,” you said. That little ass bed was not big enough for your big ass and Sam’s bulk. You folded your arms. You didn’t always want to call attention to your weight, but you were not some dainty flower that could scoot in anywhere you wanted. There were limits.

“Lay down with me. I’m hurtin’,” he said. He gave you puppy dog eyes. “You wouldn’t want to leave me hanging, would you?” 

“You can’t lay it on any thicker?” You asked and giggled.

“I could try if you really want me to,” he said and grinned. It only drew attention to the cuts on his face. 

You sighed and put your purse down on the nearest chair. You climbed into the bed with him and he scooted over to the other side to allow you more room. You still had to throw a leg over him. But he never grunted. He never complained. He just wrapped you in his arms and sighed. It was a deep sigh that communicated a thousand words. 

You breathed him in. He was still him underneath the faintly medicinal scent and cleaning products. You were on his right side, but you still dimly heard his heartbeat pumping away. Keeping him alive and in your arms.

“You scared the hell outta me, Sam,” you said.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I worried you,” he said. He kissed the top of your forehead. You closed your eyes. You pretended that you were back at his place, in his bed. That he had only left you long enough to get food from the delivery driver and he had slipped back into bed. You could almost picture it in your mind’s eye. The heart monitor was nothing more than his air conditioner. Right.

“I’m just glad you’re safe,” you said.

“Hey, I’m always coming home. Always.”

“You can’t make that promise,” you told him. 

“Yes, I can. If you’ll have me, I promise I’ll always come home to you. Hell or high water,” he said. 

If you’ll have him…that was the million dollar sentence. It took all of your willpower to not be a coward. To stay pressed against him. This was supposed to be casual but there was nothing casual about what you felt for Sam.

From the moment he whispered to you after your first few days at the VA. You had your back turned. In his soft, deep voice, he whispered so he didn’t startle you. It still startled you. You were so nervous, trying not to mess up badly. You had been having a shitty day. You couldn’t get the copier to work and it was spitting out weird ink streaks all over the paper. 

But that whisper. Ever since then, you wondered if your reluctance to go out with him had to do with you knowing on some level that this was bigger than just you two. You didn’t believe in that love at first sight crap. But you knew that he was important. You just didn’t realize how important until you thought he was gone. Ripped away from you forever.

“I’ll hold you to the hell or high water, Sam. Otherwise I’ll have to find you myself,” you said.

He sighed as if he were waiting on your answer. He chuckled and lifted your chin to look into your eyes. You stared into his warm brown eyes. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. Reverent. Like you were precious glass freshly cooled from the furnace. 

“I’ll be here. You won’t get rid of me that easy,” he said. 

“Good. You’re not getting rid of me that easy either,” you said. It may be a stupid decision on your part. You had a chance to end it right here and now. However, there was no other place you’d rather be. Being in his arms was the safest you’ve ever felt. Truly safe. Like nothing and no one could touch you. He wouldn’t let them.

You stayed in his bed for quite a while. No one came to bother you while you were there, talking and getting some clue as to what he’d been up to. He promised to tell the whole sordid affair when you had some privacy. Some things, he wasn’t comfortable sharing where anyone could hear. You understood that. Even though you were dying for answers. 

“How quickly do you think I could make you cum before another nurse checks on us?” Sam asked, after a lull in conversation. You tapped his chest and he grunted, but you got the feeling he faked it.

“Absolutely the fuck not! I’m not having sex with you while you’re lying in a hospital bed!” Did this man ever not have sex on the brain? Maybe he hit his head too badly during the battle. 

“Come on!” He groaned. “I missed tasting you. It wasn’t enough last time.” His voice dropped into a seductive whisper, tickling your ear. Your body instantly reacted to him. 

“No!” You said and giggled. 

He sighed. “You’re no fun.” 

You laughed and shook your head. “Why don’t you hurry and heal and then I can show you exactly how much I’m glad you’re okay,” you said.

Sam looked at you and grinned. “Where the nurse at? I’ve had a full recovery.” 

You snorted with ugly laughter as Sam moved as if he were going to stand up. You pushed him down and he playfully tried to get up again. You moved until you were practically laying on him. He peppered you with kisses. You were still worried about him and you were sure it showed on your face. 

“I’m fine, I promise. Just a little ass whuppin’,” he said.

“Yours or the other guys’?” You asked.

“His! I was winning that fight. ‘Till the damn helicarrier came crashing through the building,” he said. 

You squinted at him and he laughed. “I’m serious,” he said.

“I believe you,” You said in a tone that made it sound like you didn’t believe him. He tickled you until you relented and yelled out that you really believed him. Once settled, you took note of his furrowed brows, sweat, and his heart rate increasing.

“You in pain, baby?” You asked and caressed his head. It was on the tip of his tongue to deny it. You could tell because he smiled. But it was more of a grimace. He nodded. 

You moved to get up but his arms tightened on you. “I don’t want to let you go yet,” he whispered.

You kissed his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, Sam. It’s you and me,” you said.

This time, he did smile for real. “I like the sound of that.”

You liked the sound of it too.

Masterlist | Chapter 6 | Chapter 8

[rustytrident]

music the demon brothers listen to

ch: lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor

cw: none

a/n: i started out thinking about what music lucifer would listen to and then it kind of escalated. also, i want to start writing more fic type of posts in the future. if anyone is reading this, could you comment (or anon ask, idm) if you'd be interested in reading that or if you prefer more chill, bite sized posts? thank you mwah

lucifer

everything. i hc that, since he was the angel of music, he finds beauty in every single song, no matter how niche or out of character it may seem. he prefers some jazz, folk or rnb though, since he uses music to relax. chet baker enthusiast. sza superfan. he listens to frank ocean when he's deep in his feels.

mammon

also a sza and frank ocean fan, though he doesn't prefer them. he wants louder and faster music, something that can distract him and keep his mind occupied. biggest fan of rap and hip hop sounds in the house – any language, any kind. he loves megan thee stallion though, claims he's her biggest fan.

leviathan

expected but yeah. vocaloid. anime ops. memes. kpop. jpop. game osts and bgms. he wants his music as full and stimulating as possible. probably unironically listens to 100 gecs. top spotify genres are kpop, jpop, kpop girl group and hyperpop. internet music. ascends every time the living tombstone come up in his playlist.

satan

very very specific about the music he listens to. it's either 2010s emo pop punk leaning metal (on rare occasions), or the softest, calmest songs ever. he has a lofi playlist on every time he reads. doodie, clairo, samsa, mxmtoon, some hobo johnson here and there. they help him stay calm. i can also see him listening to some ballads since levi is into kpop, but not always.

asmodeus

that's the metal brother. you know those memes with the dude from american psycho listening in on his headphones and it's the most bubbly pop sounding music playing? asmo is that but reversed. loves screamo. loves some hard bass. will not headbang cause he spent 40 minutes on his hair but he will scream. other than that, western pop music. is it, truly, too late now to say sorry?

beelzebub

everything, but not in the way lucifer listens to everything. following the theme of my beelzebub character study, he just absorbs the media his brothers recommend. if he hears asmo blast sabaton from the other room, you bet he'll be listening to the same song while working out. if levi recommends a new anime op, he's adding it to his playlist. if he had to choose, though, it'd be softer tunes, kind of a mix of satan's and lucifer's preferences.

belphegor

look at that demon's face and tell me he doesn't listen to green day. I'm thinking either 2000s punk rock OR show tunes. musicals. he had a hamilton phase. for a couple years his playlist would go from the helpless to creep in an instant. didn't even care, didn't even bat an eye. i think he also pays attention to the lyrics a lot. any song about corrupted systems and dystopian realities is instantly added to his spotify.

[pen-observing]

Genshin harem manhwa au!

CHAPTER FOUR OF SEVEN. characters: capitano & zhongli (seperate) x gn! reader word count: 4.8k (1.8k + 3k respectively) warnings: you can understand every character's story seperately, capitano calls you 'little one' but not in a weird way, zhongli's starts off funny, ajax is presumed dead in capitano's chapter.

[SERIES MASTERLIST]

CAPITANO - YOU ARE LOOKING FOR REVENGE BUT HE STANDS IN YOUR WAY. HE SWEARS TO TAKE UP THE SWORD FOR YOU AND PROVE YOUR FOOLISH NATURE.

Sometimes it amazes you – this life that is. How, while you are taking determined steps to a bar that deals in the underground circles, people around here are living carefree lives. They take hold of their lover’s hands or lead children so they don’t get lost while buying animal ears for fun.  

You bite the inside of your cheek.   Ajax was once like that. Your heavy steps inside of this light atmosphere to your destination remind you of him. How, whenever there was a festival, he would ask for a day off. He was such a wonderful knight that you always allowed him to do as he wished because you knew he had his reasons.  

After you gave your permission, he would say he wanted to speak as a friend; then, he would invite you to help him look after his younger brother. He would bring you simple peasant clothes to mask your identity and then the two of you would walk down the street hand in hand while leading the curious-eyed child along.  

Thanks to those moments, you were somewhat acquainted with the true situation inside this small kingdom you were supposed to rule later. Your parents ignored the complaints and problems inside, but every outing with Ajax helped solidify the true state of it inside your mind.  

You were supposed to ascend the throne later. Ajax was supposed to stand by your side as the trusty knight he has always been. Your kingdom was supposed to prosper. Ajax was not supposed to die.  

That thought comes back again! Your determined steps take a small detour. By now you are away from the shining lights and faces of the citizens that spelled the doom of your bloodline. But Ajax’s blood belonged to them; not to your family and certainly not on the carpet and the walls underneath your castle while he helped you escape.  

Ajax should not be dead right now!  

But he is. And you have been unable to cope all this time. That is why you are crouching beneath a tree; taking deep breaths and trying to calm yourself down.   Inside that bar hides your only hope of vengeance. You have spent three years searching for any trace of that infamous informant. You know nothing besides that he frequents this establishment and that for a good price, he is willing to give you the name of the one who struck down Ajax. 

With that renewal of hope inside your soul, you finally rise to your feet and pull the hood over your head before continuing down the dirty path. There are no lights that lead to that bar, only some footsteps in the middle of a grass field and you hope they are trustworthy enough.   The money you paid did not lie. After an hour of walking through that forest, you finally found a house which had a worn-out sign. ‘Rowdy Dog’, the name of the bar that stood between you and your purpose.  

Pulling your hood again, you opened the doors. You were sure that if you did knock, they would immediately throw you out. Luckily, they currently happened to consist of just three quests and a bartender. With that quick scan, you decided that immediately getting a drink would be the next best choice.  

The chairs were squeaky and uncomfortable, but you sat in one right across the bartender. Your contact told you that he was the worst kind of man to deal with. And looking at him; confirming his size and build and that long hair which people said he used to mask a particularly bad scar from his shoulder to his stomach; you know the contact was right.  

The other guests didn’t pay you much attention and you doubt they even noticed you from how drunk they were but he... his eyes were already telling you to leave. It seemed like he was doubtful of your purpose and hoped a warning by rejecting to speak first would be enough to get you to turn back.  

But your quest for revenge was greater than anything else and you could certainly deal with a bartender before your informant got here.  

“Whiskey.”  

You noticed everyone you dealt with to get this far ordered that drink so surely it would prove you knew how to dabble in this line of business.  

The man turned around and put down a glass and a bottle of whiskey on the counter in front of you. Him not talking was unnerving.  

“Are you so clever not to pretend you saw my cue telling you to leave or are you so dumb that you choose to stick around.”  

Him speaking was already starting to give you a headache.  

“Just pour me a glass and ignore my presence.”  “This is my bar; by extension, it is my house. If I put down a bottle and a glass in front of you, it means that you have to pour it yourself.”  

You never thought such a deep and smooth voice could cause you this much annoyance.  

“Is there a reason why your particular business model is so prejudiced towards me Sir?”  “Yes. You are too soft hearted to set foot in this place.”   “It is none of your business what I do here.”   “Would you like me to kick you out right now?” 

Your informant was right. For a man that ran the bar most frequented by assassins and criminals with bounties on their heads; he was too dignified and moral. So what if you are a young person that never killed anyone? You swore to only use your sword on the person who killed Ajax and nobody else.   Still, you had to get on this man’s good graces or your new informant would never trust you either.  

You poured yourself a glass while thinking that it was necessary to put up with this for just a while longer.  

“Are you happy now?”   You were about to bring the glass to your lips but before you could, the bartender took everything in front of you and placed it behind the counter.  

“At least you are willing to bluff where it doesn’t count.”  “What is that supposed to mean? And the way you are running this establishment is horrible!”  

The man pinched the bridge of his nose and then he glared at you.  

“Meet me in the back in five minutes.”  “Excuse me?”  

He didn’t even dignify you with a response. He simply walked away and slammed the door behind him. You suppose nobody would dare to steal from him. But, why should you wait five minutes? You decided to immediately follow him instead. 

Outside, he was standing leaning against the wall with a cigarette in between his fingers. You approached and he was kind enough to blow smoke in the opposite direction. 

“I see you do not even possess patience.”  “Why are you acting this way towards someone you never met so far?”  

The man took in another puff and leaned his head on the wall as well looking up at the bright moon.  

“An innocent soul was never supposed to step foot into that bar.”  “You made it what it is. I don’t think you get to choose who steps into it or why.”   “Little one, you are so wrong about everything you have done tonight. Tell me, does the atmosphere inside that place fill you with any joy?”  “No. I don’t see how it could fill anyone with joy.”   “Wrong again. And that proves my point.”  

This man was incorrigible. Your head was staring to hurt more and more but something about him wanting to protect innocent people reminded you of Ajax. You decided that for the sake of your dead friend, you would take off your mask for a few minutes.  

“Do you think I am innocent even if my family caused poverty and death in this city?”  “Yes. Did your own hands ever do anything? Those guests inside are filled with joy by knowing everyone else in there has killed and felt blood on their tongue. It makes no sense to you; that violence.”  

How horrible. How could you not lay down your mask when this man seems to have a natural ability to disarm people?  

“Tell me, is the reason you are here revenge?” He says it nonchalantly, but his eyes look at you with a plea and a hope that you will say no. 

“It is. I have someone who was more innocent than me and they died by people who said they were seeking justice.”  “I would say that you too wish to protect innocent souls, but the dead do not need protection. Why not turn around and start something new like I did?”  

His cigarette is finished by now and he dims out it’s last light by stepping on it. 

“Something new? Isn’t your bar the place where everything you regret doing, other people plan to do?”  “Ironic, isn’t it?”  

Silence. Something about him makes you feel peaceful, and you hate it.  

“How can you sound so sure when seeing those guests?”  “It is simple. Trying to save them would be futile, but saving you like this would be enough. Wouldn’t you say you’ve enjoyed out conversation so far?”   “You cannot save me. I made up my mind long ago. I will avenge him.”  “A lover perhaps?”  “My knight.”  

He looks at you and laughs. His laugh sounds regretful, so you don’t take it as an insult. 

“A knight you say? And you said he had a soul purer than yours?”  “Yes. You sound like you disagree.”  “Before this, I was a knight of the enemy kingdom. The title of a knight is never innocent. We gain it by swearing to kill so that we can protect flimsy ideals and even weaker families.”  

All this time, you never even imagined Ajax’s sword decorated by another human’s blood. That image shattered your world. Revenge for a pure soul? Maybe it was revenge for yourself but just masked as less selfish.  

“Tell you what;”, the man kneels down in front of your feet. You can tell that his body automatically remembers the grace and honor knights carry on their backs. Ajax so quickly fell into this stance too.  

“To save your soul, I will be your new knight. To prevent you tasting blood, I will be the one to spill it for you. I’ve done it so many times that I can do it again.”  

Incorrigible man. Paradoxical man. 

“I do not need a new knight.”  “You need someone that will show you just how pointless revenge truly is.”  

When he says that, he looks up at you with piercing eyes. It will be your resolve versus his own and, as much as you hate to admit, it looks like he will win. Maybe that is why you hear Ajax’s laughter. Maybe that is why you get transported into the white room again. This golden door, it echoes with his laugh. Honey-like, warm and it is calling your name. 

Not answering it would be a sin. 

ZHONGLI - EVERYONE THINKS THE KING IS DEAD. IN REALITY, HE IS HIDING IN YOUR HOUSE SAYING HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

“You again? I already made it very clear to you that your presence is disturbing to my chickens!” 

He is here again. You have debts to pay, and he is disrupting your quiet and small farm. Again. This is the third day in a row. Soon enough you will be as restless as your chickens if this man with intricate tattoos on his arms keeps coming back.  

Wait..coming back? That isn’t the right word. He doesn’t leave! He just spends all of his time here! Why on earth has this man, too tall for you to look at without stretching your neck, decided that sleeping every night in your chicken coop is the most comfortable place one can get some rest? He must be insane. One of those special calibres a friend told you about a while ago; like that man who thought waiting inside hospitals was the biggest joy he had so he would go to one every single day and just sit there.  

“I apologize for disturbing your chickens and, by extent, you. I have no other place to do.” 

Liar. Even if he has been sleeping inside of here for three days his clothes are of such fine fabric you refuse to believe his excuse being homelessness. Bandits pretend they need help all the time; they pretend to be sick and when someone lets them into their house, they rob them and escape with possessions that person spent all their life obtaining. You will not be fooled by his sweet disposition. He should count himself lucky you didn’t chase him away with a broom yet. Truthfully, your heart does not tell you that he is a bad person or that he wishes to spread evil but..he is a suspicious figure! One day, you walked inside the coop with your basket, ready to greet the mostly-nameless-chickens when Miguel (your roster, and, quite frankly, favorite one) screamed as soon as you opened the door while he was about to pluck the top of a sleeping man’s head.  

“If you have enough sense to apologize, then you have enough sense to leave my household and my coop. So, please, walk away somewhere else.” 

The man looks at you with eyes that seem more authoritative than his current homeless position would imply but you refuse to give in and look away. A staring contest first thing in the morning works wonders for your spirits.  

“Like I already said-”, he begins, and you already know how the sentence would end if Miguel didn’t sneak up on him and pecked his ankle. The man bit the inside of his cheek in frustration and looked down at the creature below him. It didn’t seem like it hurt him at all, it seemed like he found it an annoyance more than anything.  

“Tell this chicken that people should get to finish their sentences.”  “He did what any living being would when their home is invaded.”  “I did not invade his home. Be careful of what you accuse me of. I will admit that my presence here seems invasive to your home, but I just needed a place to stay that was very far away and quiet.”  “Then just walk a few more steps into the forest itself and it will serve you nicely.” 

For some reason, when you say that, Miguel starts to scream like never before, you can feel that the air feels heavier and...are his eyes glowing? No, you imagined it. In a split second everything is back to normal. Must have been all the stress. 

“It looks like you haven’t been sleeping lately but I assure you my presence should make no difference to your daily life. I have not even taken one of your eggs to eat in the three days I have been here – can that not be called fair?” 

The arrogance of this man. Does he really think this is a fair trade?  

“Your presence in this coop has decreased my egg production by 47 percent already!”  “Are you sure...did you really calculate that or did you make that number on the spot?”  “What if I did? Accurate number or not, if you continue to stay here, eventually, I will not be able to pay off my debts either way. I am on a very strict payment plan you see.”  

He puts a hand to his chin and looks down at Miguel again. He probably thinks you cannot understand what he is mumbling about but you hear it quite well. He says it is not surprise that your business is failing when you make up numbers on the spot. But then he drops his hand and looks at you.  

“I will leave this chicken coop.”  “So you finally have some sense?”  “If you allow me to sleep on your front porch instead.” 

You raise your eyebrow. It would help your production more and in turn you would be able to pay off your debts but...a grown man sleeping like a dog in front of your porch is not the best solution. Still, if you don’t pay them back in regular instalments they said they would destroy your property so...it should be fine? 

“Fine. But under no circumstances am I letting you inside of my house. Are we clear?”  “Absolutely. I thank you for your kindness?” 

Kindness? You saw him walk around with a stiff back and bruises and all the dirt. Miguel is a big fan of making sure this man gets as dirty as possible..just because you let him stay without feeding him does not mean you are kind. Well, you did give him one slice of bread on the first day since you thought he seemed like a victim. 

“Suit yourself. I still do not see what the difference between this and the forest is!” 

As you walk away, he sighs. Twice. Then he looks at Miguel again who is preparing to attack his ankles again. 

“Your owner really does not feel their own potential... What a shame. Shouldn’t the fact I am so close by be an awakening for that power in them?” he hisses.  “Miguel, if you bring your beak to my ankle once more, I will make you fly.”  

You said that and he really did move to your porch. Right now, you are cooking dinner and he just spends his time sitting there. You waved to him through the window because he sometimes gets up to walk around on the humble porch of an even more humble house.  

But something tells you it was a mistake. To hold a cooking spoon in one hand and to wave at him through the other. Why? Because as soon as he waved back, rain started to pour. The sound on your stove immediately got dimmed from the strength of the downpour and you knew that even the plants would live to regret the strength of this rain. But...it was a bigger mistake because your roof above the porch was never patched up and the rain seemed to be falling at such an angle that the man would get hit with it no matter what.  

It tugged on your heart, and you opened the front door. In those few minutes, your entire porch was already filled with water and, no matter how close to the house he stood, the man was completely wet. His long hair clung to his forearms and neck, his clothes were clinging to his skin too.  

“I know what I said but--” 

As if to help the urgency of your kindness, hail started to fall from the sky and you just quickly tugged on the man’s sleeve to bring him inside your house.  

“I will let you stay inside just for tonight.”  

He remained quiet and stood completely still next to the door. 

“You have my thanks.”  “Well, walk further inside?”  “No. That would prove I lack manners. Since I am all wet it is better if I stay in one place while I dry.”  “You-- Did you really think I would not offer you a change of clothes and a towel to dry yourself with?!”  “Well..you did let your chickens peck me for three days so..I just inferred you would be hesitant.” 

You quickly walk to another room and bring him a change of clothes without missing the chance to throw a towel in his face. 

“Here. I barely have any warm water left but go take a bath to ensure you do not catch a cold.”   “You have my sincere thanks.”  

You walk around to your counter to stir the pot. You can hear him drying his hair; somehow it annoys you his has that much volume. As you look up, wishing to glare at him, you can see that he is already shirtless and about to tug down his pants. In a moment of panic you decide that throwing the cooking spoon at him is your quickest reaction.  

“What are you doing?!”  “Hmm? I should change in this one spot because my clothes are dripping water onto your floor as well.”  “I do not want to see you change!” 

He freezes up. He has spent so much of his life inside his castle; never has anyone reprimanded him for his habits and he had his own harem. Somehow, he never expected such a reaction to befall him, and this moment just reminds him of how low he has fallen, even if he tried to show consideration towards your home.  

“You are absolutely right, I deeply apologize. I shall finish up the rest in your bathroom.”  

He tries to make his steps as light as possible when he walks by and you curse yourself for looking at his defined back.  

By his physique, he seems stronger than most..just why is he here in such a miserable state? 

“Thank you for choosing to share some of your dinner with me.”  “I did let you go hungry for three days and the rain doesn’t look like it will stop soon. So, I figured, it was the least I could do for now.” 

He sits up straight in the chair. This oversized sweater of yours fits him perfectly and the pants you brought him only reach up to his knees, but they are better than nothing.  

“You must know I... I understand your hesitance in not trusting me.”  “Do you now?” 

He nods.  

“I do not think I have given you many reasons to not trust me, but I also do not think I have given you reasons to trust me either. It crossed my mind just now that I never even gave you my name.”  “Will you give it to me now?”  “My name is Zhongli. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” 

He doesn’t seem to know that he should stretch his hand for a shake when introducing himself so you just raise up another spoon of broth to your mouth.  

“I am glad to finally know the name of the man who has lessened my egg production by 63 percent.”  “Wasn’t it 47 percent just this morning?” 

You did admit to making up the numbers but your cheeks still feel hot from embarrassment. 

“Hush.” 

Zhongli simply looks at you and puts a hand to his chin. He should have made more public appearances in this form, but he doubts his image as a king would have ever reached this place of solace you live in. Not only is it the smallest village in his kingdom, well, his ex-kingdom he supposes but...even with all of that you chose a house so removed from everyone else that you probably only talk to other humans once a week when you have to visit the village square.  

He wonders how you would react to knowing that you just told the most powerful king of these lands to hush up. Nobody ever did this before; he wonders if he should hate it instead of finding it endearing.  

“Could I ask you how your life has been since the king died? You might not believe this, but I did see changes when travelling all the way here.”  “What are you trying to hide from?”  “Pardon?”  “Zhongli what are- ugh never mind I actually do not wish to know. My life since the king died? My life while he was alive before the Revolutionaries took over was hard enough. You see where I live, and I have no idea why you are acting like it is a good place. To simply tell you of my life; I do not remember having a childhood, but I do remember waking up here and being cornered by some bandits. They kept asking me about my debts and I only saw the chicken coop from the window and decided to lie and say a fox snuck in and killed most of my animals.” 

Zhongli patiently listens to you. His eyes seem to glow again because of how interested he is in what you are saying. Maybe you are talking so much because you have not had human company in so long?  

“Anyway, they believed me without checking but they reminded me that I owe them for life because, apparently, I made a shady deal with them in the past. I wanted to fight but there wasn’t much I could actually do. Would they kill me? Sell me? Living in this dump and taking care of chickens to earn enough money to pay them back monthly seemed better than..living in that forest I tried to send you too.” 

Zhongli does not say much but he feels that you want him to say or ask something.  “All this time I supposed that the king only failed his people by dying but it seems like he failed you long before that. Based on my travels so far, I suppose that it only got worse after that fact?”  “Worse? It is hell! I never thought that the king had any duty towards me but maybe he did. The Revolutionaries certainly did not help anything improve! They raised taxes, which means the bandits I pay want even larger amounts of money now. I never thought the tax increase would even influence the illegal jobs of this world.”  

You take another bite of your food, but it tastes bitter this time, probably because your feelings are the same.  

“You must allow me to apologize.”  “Apologize? For what?”  “I had no idea you were in business with these..bandits...they came last night and since I deemed them suspicious I..took care of them.” 

At first, you laugh. A big, hearty laugh.   Then, Zhongli laughs with you. He was not expecting that reaction but he knows how wrong he was to relax when your spoon hits his shoulder. Now, you are glaring at him.  

“I was right not to trust you! When they return with backup what will I do then?”  

He can feel that you are panicking. And he lets you be angry at him because he knows what lies behind that is fear. He knows the prophecy; he knows why he let the rebels have the upper hand for now; he needed time to reach you – the one who is destined to help him. But with all this fear and your lack of memories or awareness of the power you hold – he had to subject himself to sleeping in your chicken coop and waiting for your power to awaken.  

It becomes crystal clear that as you are now, you will never grow into your potential without his help. He decides to approach this like everything else he has as the king right now. When you finish yelling, he extends his hand and his tattoos go from black to gold – he uses his power to make calm wash over you and he forces you to sit down in the chair again.  

“Listen to me, they will not be returning. Even bandits have enough sense to know that they will lose against me. Your chickens posed more of an issue for me.” 

Was this his way of trying to bring light to this whole situation?  

You should be angry still. You should be making sure he leaves your house; but his powers calm you beyond all harmony you have known so far.  

“How can you be so sure of yourself?”  “If you were not so filled with fear; you would remember who you are. Child of the Sun, we are the same origin. You are meant to help my mission in this world by standing as my equal. Yet, it is clear I will have to guide you regardless.” 

His..who is that man? Is he the considerate man who refuses to take another step to not wet your carpet or is he an arrogant bastard? The answer does not matter. His innocence and consideration can be the truth or a lie; you do not care.   Something in you snaps and your body grows yellow too. It lets you stand up and glare at him. Something is tugging your body and it does not feel like Zhongli’s power. You think this surge of emotions and power welling inside is going to make you faint soon, so you settle on just one sentence before you are plucked from this world and another door swallows you. 

“All of you kings are the same. And you can all beg for my help and burn as I do not answer you.” 

a/n: whelp,, it has been a while,,truly. how have you been? i hope this chapter is to your liking. I am trying to make these shorter than before but,,it is hard ://

TAGLIST: send an ask if you wish to be added.

@is-asimp , @irisxiel , @sunsethw4 , @sketcheeee , @thelonelyarchon, @magicalink , @ladycoleigh , @luvr-exe , @yuus3n , @haru-lucidream

[candiid-caniine]

gender euphoria

[cw: this is NOT a detrans/misgendering kink post, but tries to subvert some of those tropes, so please treat it with caution!]

sissy kink blogs DNI

outside the bedroom, i demand respect. i own my pronouns, talk openly about genderqueerness, and flaunt androgyny.

but inside the bedroom...my relationship with gender changes. i'm transsexual in the sense that power dynamics in my sexual relationships directly influence my gender(s). what do i mean by this? i mean i want you to treat my non-conformity as a blank slate on which to project your preferred gender.

i am an "it," first and foremost. but i can be a "she," a "they," or a "he" if so inclined. i can be your butch, your femme, your fag, your twink, your femboy, whatever you want me to be.

and i'll resist. that's part of the fun of it: in day-to-day life, i'm most comfortable as an occasionally femme-leaning androgyne. that makes it fun to push back, easy to feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, and a little self-conscious (though not dysphoric) in a different presentation.

i take any pronouns, after all. so butches who love femmes, goad me into skirts, lacy lingerie, makeup, stockings, heels. watch me falter and cling to your side when we go out, feeling like i'm being stared at, unaccustomed to the kind of attention high-femmes usually get. make me show off my cleavage. call me "she" exclusively without switching. call me a good girl, call me a princess, make me suck your cock like a good little wife. force me to grow my hair out for you, yes, the undercut, too, and watch me get fussy and flustered at the unwelcome sensory input of it touching my neck. get me long acrylics, watch me fumble at everything requiring the use of my fingers; step in to help, coo over your clumsy girl - it's basically like mitting a puppy, isn't it?

if you prefer masc partners, get me a binder. watch me squirm at the compression. get me on a workout regimen to bulk up, even; spend a lot of time proving to me that no matter how fit i get, you'll always overpower me. no more cutesy hair clips, no more high-waisted jeans, or skirts, or femme-ish jewelry: make me your boyfriend. coach me into talking in a lower register. order T for me off the dark web, admire my stubble and my bottom growth. if you top, fuck me in the ass exclusively. if you bottom, get me the strap that best reflects your preferences. i'd even get top surgery, as long as you're paying~

or mix the two. make me your femboy. get me a packer, but also dresses. nitpick me over the right mix of boy-as-girly, watch me get more and more desperate to please your expectations, until at last i'm just surrendering my wardrobe to you, losing confidence in my ability to dress "properly." call me a good boy, your pretty little prince. i'm even okay with the gentle kind of goading, the presentation-shaming, calling me soft, saying i'm not dressing like a real man, if that's what you want.

or just lean in fully to the genderless thing that i want to be in the bedroom, but make it be all the time. what does an "it/its" look like? when your gender is pet, how do you present in public? well, that's up to you. maybe it's the most revealing clothes you can find, or simply the most embarrassing: underwear and pants that are a bit too small, riding up my ass and cunt constantly. shirts with slogans like "young, dumb, and full of cum" or "clown school graduate." anything that makes other people think i'm ditzy, impressionable, and silly, or don't know my own wardrobe sizes. collars, 24/7, are, of course, mandatory. maybe cuffs, too.

the whole time, watch me be unsure as my androgyny is picked apart, more and more of my core gender identity bent to your whims. watch me automatically start to seek your approval on any piece of clothing or jewelry i own. i'll start letting you speak to the hairdresser at salons, giving up any autonomy i have over my own hairstyle. you could take me to a piercer or a plastic surgeon or a tattoo artist, tell them what you want me to look like, and i'll sign the consent forms. treat my lack of gendered presentation as a clean slate, free for you to write your mark all over. make me your creature. as if i wasn't already.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In the last couple of weeks, I've acquired a few stand-up comedy hours that I'd been greatly anticipating, and hadn't been able to hear before. Annoyingly, this has correlated with me feeling very burned out from work and a few other things, and not feeling like it's the right time to sit down and fully enjoy something I'd been anticipating so much. Sure, I can listen to random old podcasts. Watched the last couple of episodes of TM NZ s05, and those were great, great season overall. Caught up on Last Week Tonight. But for a new stand-up hour that I was excited for, I can't just listen to that while I'm on a bus, or watch while feeling rushed and constantly checking how soon I need to get things done so I can sleep in time to not be utterly miserable at work the next day.

I meant to get to them on the weekend, but I kind of lost this weekend to being burned out and depressed, I did a few things that helped recover from that, but still didn't get the chance to get into stand-up comedy properly. Then last night, I decided it doesn't matter, I'll just watched the John Kearns one. The Varnishing Days, his 2023 that won some big awards and stuff, and just came out as a TV special.

I enjoyed it, but I was trying to do other things at the same time, I kept being distracted by worry about not getting enough done. When I got about 15 minutes from the end, the threads started to come together, and I realized I was right the first time, to think this is not a show I can half pay attention to. Or even just pay 80% attention to. So I turned it off and went to sleep.

Today after work, I sat down as soon as I got home, and watched it from beginning to end, without trying to do anything else at the same time, and that was very, very worth it. Not all stand-up hours are worth someone's full attention. That one is worth an hour of full attention, many times over. My God, was that ever good. I am so very glad I decided to watch it properly.

It's pretty much the type of things I'd expected it to be - he's doing the silly character, but being thoughtful and profound about the silliness - he just did it so well that it exceeded my high expectations. I'd read that it's a show about parenthood, which it is, but it's got themes that are so much bigger than that, about honesty in identity and celebrating uniqueness and offering the best of what you have to offer. There are lighting and sound cues, and bits that poignantly mess with the props, which confirm that I was definitely right to think this is not one where I want to separate the audio from the video and try to listen to it on a commute to work. This is one that, by rights, should be watched on a cinema-sized big screen, alone and in the dark, to fully contemplate the message. I mean... I guess ideally it should be watched in a room where John Kearns is performing it in person. But we can't all be there in person, okay? This is the next best thing.

It went up and down in terms of how funny it was but I did not mind for one moment. It had a number of big laughs, and a consistent enough trickle of smaller laughs, to keep me quite satisfied that it was fulfilling its remit as a comedy show, while also being complicated and personal and beautiful.

But it's also accessible, I'm pretty sure. I'm not always great at "getting" types of comedy that aren't straightforward; I've often been left cold by clown shows and character stuff and artsy experimental comedy and that I know are objectively good, if you like that sort of thing. So if anyone is concerned that they also don't tend to "get" certain types of non-straightforward comedy, it's worth noting that that was not a problem for me one bit in this particular John Kearns show. It's easy to understand, and it's easy to appreciate.

Though that's always been true with whatever the John Kearns character is, for me. Or almost always. Before he went on Taskmaster I only knew him from his dictionary corner Catsdown spots, which he did in his stand-up character, and they were terrible, unsurprisingly. Then he was great on Taskmaster so I looked up his stand-up, expecting to be unimpressed because it's an annoying character - and it turns out that sometimes, a carefully crafted stand-up act is not meant to be chopped into tiny pieces and put out of context on a panel show. In its own context, it's very funny. There's not enough of it recorded out there, only the one full-length show besides The Varnishing Days and that one's audio only, but it's still fun. I liked that full-length audio-only show that John Kearns recorded a few years ago, but this Varnishing Days show was a whole other level from that one, it was absolutely amazing.

I can't mention John Kearns' previous stand-up without saying that this joke pops into my head out of nowhere, probably once every three to four months, and makes me suddenly laugh at the memory of it, no matter where I am.

So, I recommend watching his new comedy special, but I definitely recommend doing it when you have the time and the space and the lack of distractions to enjoy it properly. Some things are meant to be saved for that. Now I still have a couple of other stand-up hours I've been saving, and I'm going to continue saving them, because it's getting late, and I need to go to bed so I don't hate everyone in the world at work tomorrow as much as I did at work today.

[generalized-incompetence]

“You have, like, books here, right?”

Myrtle, the librarian, looks up from her desk, at the library, where she has been finalizing a new order of library books. 

“Yes,” she says. “We do.”

Read on AO3 here

“Oh!” says the man with a relieved smile. “Great.”

Myrtle eyes him over the stacks of books and notepads on her desk. She has been a librarian for nearly four decades, and she’s seen all sorts, though she can’t recall anyone ever asking this particular question. The man in front of the desk is… hm. Muscular is the best word she can think of, though she would have more choice adjectives if she was a few decades younger and/or inclined in that direction. Chiseled, perhaps. Blonde, predictably, with the sort of haircut that had been popular on Ken dolls, back in the day (do they still have Ken dolls? Barbie has certainly traveled; she’d heard something about a breakup?). His smile is pleasant enough, though somewhat vacant, and judging by his question, this might be the first library he’s entered in his life.

But, librarians didn’t judge - not books by their cover, and not patrons by their questions - so she shifts away from her computer and says, “Can I help you find anything in particular?”

“Oh!” says the man, brightening at the offer of help. “The thing is, this guy Mike? He’s, like, really smart? And I’m not? So I thought, maybe, if I read some books and stuff, he might like me more?”

He looks so hopeful that Myrtle doesn’t have the heart to tell him that changing oneself is rarely worthwhile, and that his best hope with this “Mike” likely involves who he is now. The man misinterprets her silence and blunders forth with, “Not like like, obviously. Just as, um. Is there a word for, like, people who hang out all the time, and talk a lot, and think the other person is really smart and cool and funny and just make each other, um, I guess. Happy?”

Myrtle raises an eyebrow. “...Friends?” she says.

“Yeah!” says the man with the biggest smile yet. “Yeah. Friends.”

Myrtle has always considered her duties as a librarian to extend past the books and towards the well-being of her patrons, but she feels this man may need more help than she is able to provide. “What kind of books does this Michael enjoy?” she asks. “Any subjects he’s interested in?”

“Aliens,” says the man instantly.

“Aliens?” says Myrtle.

The man nods enthusiastically. “He knows everything about them,” he says. “Like, all the stuff the government’s been covering up - he got access, or I guess I gave him access, and he says it’s just what he thought the whole time and people are super not paying attention. And then he said a bunch of science things that sounded really smart. So maybe if you have some books that could, um, explain that?”

“You’re looking for,” says Myrtle slowly, “scientific books about aliens?”

“Yeah!” says the man.

Myrtle takes off her glasses, polishes them on her sweater, and puts them back on. “I’ll… see what I can do,” she says.

“Oh! One more thing,” says the man. “Sorry, I know you’re a librarian and everything, but reading, like, kinda sucks? So if there’s any books you have that you, like, don’t have to read to get smart - could you find those?”

Ah, she thinks. Thoughts of UFOs fly out of her head as she recalibrates her illicit judgments. There are reasons she is a librarian, and this man is one of them. She is suddenly and overwhelmingly grateful that this man has chosen this library, on this day, to walk in and present her with an opportunity to unlock literature, outside the written word.

“Have you ever tried,” she says, “audiobooks?”

An hour and a half later, she has loaded the man down with several audiobooks; a stack of graphic novels; links to browser extensions for changing font size/spacing and rendering text to speech; and, of course, a brand-new library card. 

“Now, these are all just starting places,” she says, methodically scanning out each graphic novel in turn. “If any of them don’t work for you, you don’t need to push it. But if it does work, then you feel free to come back and ask me for more, alright?”

The man, who, to his credit, did not flee when she went Full Librarian, swallows. “I - I guess,” he says. “But, I mean. Are you sure? Like, this isn’t really reading, right? Picture books are for babies.”

“These aren’t picture books,” she says snippily. “They’re graphic novels. It’s a perfectly legitimate form of literature, and if anyone gives you a hard time, you send them straight to me.”

He pulls the closest book towards him and flips through the pages, lingering over some of the more vivid illustrations. She’s had this conversation so many times she could have it in her sleep, but it still breaks her heart a little, to think a little thing like formatting has stood in his way for so long. 

“We’ve only had writing for about five thousand years,” she tells him, “but we’ve always had stories. True purists should still be sitting around a fire carrying on the oral tradition. There are plenty of ways to read that don’t involve words on a page.”

“Huh,” says the man, staring at a full-page spread of a detailed spaceship. “That’s - that’s kinda cool.”

“It certainly is,” says Myrtle. She finishes checking him out and slides the rest of the books and resources across the desk. “Good luck with your Michael,” she says, looking him straight in the eye. “And everything else.”

“Thanks!” he says with a bright smile. “You know, I always thought libraries sucked? But you don’t suck at all.”

Myrtle refrains from a sigh. “Thank you,” she says instead, and waves him out.

—

She thinks of him a few times over the next couple weeks. She doesn’t seriously expect to see him again; there are return bins outside, and her shifts are fairly irregular. But roughly three weeks later, she looks up and there he is, with a slight, nervous-looking man in tow.

“Hey, it’s you again!” says the man with an oversized wave. “Mike, this is the nice librarian lady who gave me all those, um, graphic novels. Hey, librarian lady, those links you gave me were so cool! I never knew there were all those things that would read emails and stuff to you, so you don’t have to read them at all!”

Myrtle does try to remain somewhat detached, but she can’t help but feel warmed by this outcome. Even better, Mike responds to this speech with a fond smile, first in the man’s direction and then in hers. “Thank you,” he says. “That was, um. Overdue, I think.”

“Oh, no, I turned all the books in on the day they said!” says the man quickly. “No library fines here!”

Mike laughs and pats the man’s arm. “Come on,” he says. “Didn’t you want to look for the Predator sequels?”

“Yes,” says the man, and tows Mike inside. Myrtle watches them go, still feeling like a job well done. Maybe she needs a new slogan, she thinks. Libraries: We don’t suck at all! She snorts and shakes her head. She’ll work on it. She has plenty more patrons to practice on.