#payed like 100 just for them to take it in and look at it and get back to me by tomorrow. so even if they fix it I’m still out 100 plus

[red-phantom-0]

Neglected Reader x Yandere Platonic Batfam pt 2

continuation of this au -> 🍁

- well anyways, so the reader is stuck in this expensive limbo and they're like " uhhhhh so about the fact you've been avoiding paying your taxes for the past five years -" like reader is just trying to be professional .

- Bruce ignores their comment and just gives reader a cheshire smile and is like " Don't worry about that hun right now we just want to spend time with you " like he's just trying to reassure reader and they're just there like ' WHERE IS THE NEAREST TRUSTED ADULT THIS GRANDPA IS WEIRD ???'

- reader is just awkwardly sitting there like 🧍‍♀️ meanwhile damians just staring at them , enamored . So reader just awkwardly goes on their phone and text their secretary to track their location and pick them up because they are creeped tf out.

- Bruce is trying to be smooth by making dad jokes like " simba was moving too slow so I told him to mufasa "and readers just awkwardly laughing because she doesn't want the old man to feel bad .

- it gets worse when he tries using modern slang like " Hey ( reader's name ) you're so sigma today " and literally everyone in the limbo cringes and damian tells his dad to shut up and to stop embrassing them.

- anyways y'all reach the Wayne Mansion and you try to get out of the limbo but damian literally holds onto your hand and is like " allow me the most handsome , incredible , reliable , intelligent , best looking wayne to escort you out " and readers like okay whatever because he's just a little kid what's he gonna do ???

- so yall enter in and reader is escorted to a fancy living room , so reader sits dowm and whips out their laptop - insistent on being professional and wanting to get this over with so they could go home and take a much needed nap .

- " Okay Mr.Wayne ? It's says here you owe $100, billion to the IRS -" reader starts but then Dick and Jason enters in with big smiles . " Hey sis /bro !!" They greeted them but reader looks at them confused like who the hell are these randoms .

- this makes them both sad and sulk that their adorable little sibling wasn't as joyous to see them as they were to them. In comes tim with Alfred, and the reader perks up at Alfred. " Hey Alfred how are you ? didn't know you started to work for a new family !" Reader greets him.

- everyone just sits there in shock like does reader seriously forget about them - like they know they fucked up big time by ignoring /neglecting them but like they didn't recognize their own family??

- Alfred just politely smiles at reader and is like " Mr./Mrs. (Reader's Name ) I am still working for the same family, your adopted family in fact " he clarified. Reader just stares at him in confusion because like they don't ever recall being adopted ?? Like they've been in foster care they're whole life??.

- reader is just awkwardly like " hahaha hahaha nice joke man " and dick literally dramatically falls to floor and starts sobbing about how reader doesn't love them anymore .

- reader is just like ' wtf ' because like dramatic much and also they thought Alfred was their foster parent and they were just living in a big apartment complex w another family they didn't know they were supposed to be adopted siblings .

- tim literally grabs dick by his shirt collar and picks him up . " It's very nice to meet you :> " tim greets reader. Reader responds with a poker face , " uhhh we lived in the same place for 13 years mate it's a bit late to an introduction, yeah ?" reader says with a deadpan tone.

- everyone just looks at each other awkwardly and reader gets a notification from their secretary that they were outside waiting on them . Reader sighs and gets up from the couch and shoves their laptop into their travel bag . " Alright was nice knowing yall but I gotta dip " reader says and begins to walk right out .

- everyone immediately gets up to chase after them , Damian literally clinging onto their leg, and Jason and Bruce was trying to persuade them into staying saying ' its too late to go outside ' , " it's too dangerous ' . Reader just stops and looks at them both like " yeah grandpa it's 4 pm we know it's your bed time " and walks out the mansion.

- reader walks out , boss bitch style into their own expensive sports car not before waving at them and saying " See you later in court when you get arrested for tax evasion Bruce " and with that they drive off.

- the batfam just stands there in shambles because they failed in kidnapping and convincing reader to stay with them.

[dragoon811]

I was in college. And I didn’t place great for math so I ended up in basically algebra for dummies then geometry for dummies.

Now, algebra was great! Good teacher. Filled the gaps. I went into geometry feeling better. Headed j to algebra 2, asshole teacher boogaloo.

Eh.

I learn better with words, so I took my notes longhand. And one day I made the mistake of sitting in the front row, taking my long, written notes.

Well, after class as we were leaving she wanted to speak with me. Went off on me that she didn’t like me doing other class work in HER class. It’s distracting etc. especially since I was in the front row.

Tried to explain that 1) I sat close because I’m hearing impaired and 2) I took longhand notes. She then brushed me off, not believing me, and sealed her fate by demanding to see my notebook…next class.

She REALLY should have just asked to see if then. I am nothing if not petty.

So next class I wrote them in French. She got annoyed and said don’t do that. Gosh she just wasn’t specific enough. She also didn’t look backward in my notebook.

So next class, I wrote them in Spanish.

Then phonetic hiragana because my katakana wasn’t good enough.

This is when she gave up, which is good because next was the hieroglyphics and I wasn’t 100% I could take notes fast enough.

She was very snooty about it, so I reminded her that this was college and I was the one paying her, so she needed to focus on teaching and not my notebook and swept out of class in the way only a bratty 19 year old wearing a trench coat and a bum knee could.

have you and a teacher ever had beef?

[amomentsescape]

Slashers x reader with prosthetics - and I mean like both legs and arms are prosthetics.

Reader will usually wear baggy/long clothes to hide it.

Slashers with Reader Who Has Prosthetics

Slashers x Reader (Separate)

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

A/N: Thank you for the request, love :)

Freddy Krueger

He actually really likes your prosthetics!

He constantly tries to convince you to "upgrade" them, however

Insists that your prosthetic arm would be much more badass if it had a blade instead of a hand

Whenever you're in his world, he will switch up the colors and styles of your prosthetics in order to prove just how "great" his ideas are

He has yet to convince you

And you intend to keep it that way or else you'll likely injure yourself with your new Freddy-approved prosthetics

Michael Myers

Literally does not care in the slightest

Michael is 100% the type to not care at all with how you look

If wearing loose fitting clothes makes you more comfortable, then that's all fine with him

He hates when you feel any type of self-conscious with your prosthetics

If he doesn't care, then clearly no on else will either

The most straightforward one on this list

If you say anything or get that worried look on your face, he'll stare back at you, his gaze almost a warning

You're the way you are, and that's perfectly fine with him

Jason Voorhees

Jason is going to be gentle with you no matter what

But having prosthetics only makes it worse by an unreasonable amount

He'd probably touch a butterfly rougher than he would touch you

He also likes the baggier clothing on you more

He'll even be happy to lend you some of his clothing if you want

(He melts every time he sees you wearing something of his)

He has trouble touching your prosthetics though

Not for any negative reason but mostly because he's worried he's going to somehow break it and you won't be able to use it anymore

Takes a lot of convincing from your side, but he eventually comes around to holding you and your prosthetics like a normal person would

Without fear he'll ruin everything

Thomas Hewitt

He initially questions you about them once you're comfortable, but after that, he literally does not pay any mind

Like you literally forget sometimes that he even knows since he treats you so normally

And you're honestly super thankful for it

He has occasionally pulled off an arm though because he isn't always aware of his own strength

The pure terror in his eyes every time it happens makes you roll over laughing

As long as you're comfortable and happy, it's all he ultimately cares about

Bubba Sawyer

Hasn't ever really come across prosthetics before so he's mostly just fascinated by it

At first, he thought maybe another family tried to... turn you into their dinner

(He doesn't know any better unfortunately)

Will sometimes play around with your prosthetics whenever you take them off at night

It's like a kid with a new toy, he just wants to see how everything bends and works together

Likes to put them back on you himself too

He thinks of it kinda like putting puzzle pieces together

Besides that, has no reason to think of you any differently than a person without prosthetics

Brahms Heelshire

So he knows what they are, but he isn't super knowledgeable in why you need them

He immediately assumes someone else did this to you and goes into a bit of a rampage at first

But once you explain the full situation, he calms down

Because this is new to him, he does sometimes get frustrated when it takes you a while to complete something from his list of rules

But he gains more understanding and patience as time goes by

He even swaps some rules out, instead helping you bathe and get to bed every night since he knows it can be a lot to take care of him each day

Nothing about the prosthetics changes how he sees you, and he just hopes one day you'll be able to look at yourself the same way he does

Norman Bates

He's so sweet about it all

Will literally help you with the smallest things

You've had to actually sit him down a few times and explain that you can still do things on your own, and he didn't need to pamper you as much as he does

Kisses your prosthetics

(He knows you can't obviously feel any of it, but it's his way of showing his sentiment)

He's bought you a few oversized sweaters and big fluffy socks so you're comfortable too

So supportive about everything

Billy Loomis

Is a bit stunned by it at first, but he adapts quickly

He's big on holding what he considers "you" though

So instead of holding hands, he'll put his arm around your shoulder

Instead of resting your prosthetics legs across his lap, he has you lay your head down there

He just wants to give you the attention and not your prosthetics

He doesn't have any issues with them, he just knows that those tend to be the first thing people notice if you don't hide them, and he wants you to know that he sees you

Stu Macher

A very supportive boyfriend

He'll help you with anything you ask, but he doesn't step in unless you say something first

He wants you to still feel independent

He tries to motivate you to not hide so much in the oversized clothing too

He'll literally wear crazy looking hats or obscene shirts out with you in order to take the attention away from you

No one should see you any differently, and he'll do whatever it takes to help you feel happy out in public

Vincent Sinclair

He has full empathy for you since he knows what it's like to be "physically different" from the rest

Will sit and listen to your story, wanting to know everything he can and how he can help you

He enjoys looking at your prosthetics and the way they move with you

He's a craftsman at heart

Will help your prosthetics look clean and new 24/7

Will hold you close and lend you his jackets and shirts to wear if you want

Whatever he can do to make you feel comfortable, he'll do

Bo Sinclair

He doesn't have a problem with the prosthetics

He just hates that you hide yourself from him

The baggy, oversized clothing is a no-go in his book

If it's truly what makes you feel best, than fine, but he really wants you to step out of your comfort zone and be less insecure

Will verbally and physically reassure you the best he can

He thinks very highly of himself, clearly

So he takes it as a personal offense that you don't see yourself the same way he does

[prima-after-dawn]

Dumbass thought. Made me laugh.

Do you think there was an adjustment period when the bots got their cogs and went through growth spurts? Yeah the bumping off walls/chairs/tables because they don't realize their doors and wings will catch, but also realizing they can't fit in places they used to be able to.

On that same note, do you think Optimus would've, like, routinely given himself concussions for a while? Cause getting his cog made him Big, and then getting the Matrix made him Bigger. He'd still want to be where his friends are, except he is still quite literally twice most of their heights.

Does he need to be reminded to slow down, that he's got the longest legs there? How long does it take Elita or Jazz or Bee to realize that he can and will bash his face into beams because he's paying attention to them and not where he's going?

There’s no way there isn’t a cooldown period between all their sudden massive growth spurts and being self-aware of their sizes and strengths. Like the buildings in the mining sector that were designed for cogless bots are just straight up unusable for anything but storage now bc they all just too fuckin’ BIG.

And dear Primus don’t even get me started on Optimus. You thought Sentinel looked too big to be in the mining sector? He about hit his helm on the med bay ceiling, and Optimus is definitely taller than him!

Optimus is 100% out there smacking things and bots with his big ass limbs by accident when he gesticulates (as we know he does a lot when he gets excited), making turns too soon and too fast in truck mode, and misjudging how much space he needs to transform back into bot mode without clocking himself in the helm on something. Elita has herded him into more med bays than she knew existed in Iacon, and B thinks it’s the most hilarious thing that Optimus just can’t watch where he’s going when he’s matching his yapping energy.

[syluss-karaoke-teacher]

Headcanons: which rings LADS men would use to propose 💍

Now, I'm a married woman, and I made it very clear I want a practical ring that doesn't cost a fortune and that I can wear daily. But that doesn't mean I can't use my own tastes to create silly little what-ifs for MC and her love interests in Love and Deepspace.

I found different types of rings for each of the current 4 LIs based on what we know of them and their relationship to MC. These are *not* based on the rings the player receives in-game for Affinity 100, as I haven't wanted to spoil myself, and because all of us have differing tastes anyway. 😊💕

Minor spoilers of some of their backgrounds/myths.

Note: photos of rings are obviously not mine but scoured from Google and used for silly entertainment purposes only.

Xavier

he can't help but think back to the jewelry the ladies of the court used to wear, and what was the acceptable standard for nobility to court their sweethearts with

isn't in a hurry to find the ring, so he takes his time going around different jewelry stores around Linkon city and beyond. He will know which ring is the one once he spots it... at least he thinks so.

The ring should be elegant with a bit of a futuristic flair: e.g moonstone instead of a diamond or stardust/meteorite embedded in the metal. To make it more special he would offer to supply the stardust himself, locating one that would have fallen around the time you two met.

In the end gets a bit too indecisive, goes a bit too much into his own head, and proposes without it. You don't even notice as the romantic proposal under the infinite stars of the Milky Way is enough to take your breath away. The next day he takes you to the jewelry shop where they have a few custom designs waiting for your pick.

Rafayel

Oh the fishie is designing the ring for you himself. He already knows some jewelers through his work and will only settle for the most talented one. He will agonize over the design, until on one of your romantic getaways inspiration strikes and he stays up all night, just about managing to hide the sketch from you before you wake up.

He is very aware of the importance of the ring in human mating rituals, and wants everyone to take notice of it once you start wearing it. Make no mistake, this is a one-of-a-kind art piece with nothing to match its beauty. Just like you.

Howeverrrr he does realize that carrying around a 30k+ ring isn't practical, so he would also get you a matching simpler band with a romantic engraving that you could wear daily.

A design resembling the beauty under the sea, to suit the Sea God's bride. He would go hunting for the suitable gems and/or pearls himself.

Zayne

Zayne is not one to make a big fuss about the proposal, even if he is inwardly maybe even more excited about it than you, and perhaps a bit terrified as well. He knows you don't like to wear anything too extravagant even on your days off, so he would go for more traditional ring.

He first starts paying special attention to your wardrobe and other jewelry to do the ground work. He would do googling in incognito mode to figure out if gold or platinum suits your skin tone better, and he would discreetly leaf through women's magazines in the hospital to see what is currently trending. Once decided he snags one of your rings with him to a jewelry store he trusts to have a good selection, so that the ring will fit properly on the first try.

Diamonds are a classic option, and with a gold or platinum band they go well with almost any outfit you might have. In the end the designs he is most drawn towards resemble flowers. And from a practical standpoint, a row of small diamonds fits under your leather gloves better than a big rock.

Zayne would also be the fiancé/husband to take it upon himself to clean both of your jewelry on a regular basis. Not that you can't do it by yourself, he just wants to look at it and reminisce about the memories linked to it.

Sylus

C'mon. This is a man who bedazzles your *gun* unprompted. It's a given that no expense is spared when getting you THE ring. However, just getting a big diamond is boring as all hell, and he knows that just a platinum ring with a big rock wouldn't be to your tastes either.

Instead of just dropping a million bucks to a famous jeweler, Sylus uses his vast network to find someone relatively unknown, but whose talents are unmatched. And almost as importantly, one who will never reveal the designs to another soul. Not only is it to secure the exclusivity, but also to protect the both of you.

As for the materials, he scours the ends of the earth for the rarest ones: volcanic ash, dinosaur bone, or unknown gemstones from the Deepspace. The process itself is exciting, especially when he gets you involved, relishing in the knowledge of you hunting for the materials for your own ring without realising it.

As much as he would like you to walk around dressed to the nines every day, showing off the ring he paid more than most people pay for a car for, he realises it's not only impractical, but also potentially dangerous if people in Linkon start to question where you got such a gift. So Sylus has a matching, simpler band made that you can wear every day, saving the grander ring for special occasions, and hanging around at his base.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[queenerdloser]

in a fit of job-related frustration i briefly went job hunting and while the prospects were bleak enough that i abandoned the exercise pretty quickly, i actually found two library jobs that were so suspiciously perfect for what i want in a job i was kind of like ??? what the fuck. i yearned for a library job back when i was first seriously job hunting in the us in 2020 but i couldnt find anything full time or with decent enough pay. and now TWO (2) jobs that a) are higher level but DON'T require a master's degree, which is shocking enough in itself b) both exceed my current pay rate (????) and c) actually are in my wheelhouse and are jobs i could do well, show up on my radar in the exact week i'm looking at jobs? suspicious!

i applied to both of them mostly just for kicks. i kind of forgot about it last week due to my grad school haze but i just remembered to double check the apps and for the one that closed to applications last weekend i've been moved up to reviewing training/experience... which seems like a good sign???? genuinely don't know what i'd do if i actually get asked to interview but that'd be so funny omfg

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

[savage-rhi]

Magenta 🤬

[bmpmp3]

after six years of the game being out and after three and a half years of me actually playing the game i have finally beat botw. did u know finishing video games is. fun,,

[numbaoneflaya]

Heehee hoohoo so update here had a power surge when the electricity went out and it fucked over my electronics so my computer is basically dead and would not turn on :D dropped it off at a repair place this morn and payed extra for it to be put at the head of the repair line bcs I need it but. Terrified it could just be fried completely and I’ll have lost all my data and saved games and art and work stuff and school stuff and everything :D hehe hoohooo

[stuckydrewx]

( @amarriageoftrueminds tags) this is too fucking true

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

Keep reading

[chososrightnipple]

❝𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 + 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨)❞

a/n: almost four hundred followers omg.. i love all you freaks mwah!! here is part two as promised. included some requests for characters. aged up! megumi and yuji of course. might do a part three maybeeee? afab body w/no gendered language as usual.

part one.

── დ ──

. *. ⋆ TOJI FUSHIGURO

▸ panty stealing. he thinks of it as memorabilia. snatching your panties from the floor before you have the chance to put them back on- just something he keeps to remember you bye.

▸ daddy kink. we all saw this coming, right? you call him daddy once and it's all he needs to fuck you into the bed for the rest of the night.

▸ thigh riding. seeing you frotting against his large thigh, desperate to cum, pussy practically drooling for it... his favorite foreplay 100%.

▸ cum play. this man will cum anywhere and everywhere and he'll love it. let him cum on your face, your ass, your chest, your back, down your throat, etc etc.

▸ hatefucking. angry sex after an argument where he takes out all of the stress you caused him on your poor holes :(

▸ breeding. you can give him another baby, can't you? you can make him a daddy all over again, right? just let him cum inside of you as much as he wants, he'll make it happen, he swears.

▸ exhibitionism. you grind against him once on the bar floor and next thing you know he's dragging out to the empty alleyway and pressing you against the nearest wall.

▸ size difference. he's so large, so big, every single part of him practically overtaking you. and he gets off on that fact so fucking hard!!

. *. ⋆ NANAMI KENTO

▸ cockwarming. seating himself inside your warm pussy while he's stuck doing all kinds of boring paperwork. he'll fuck you, he swears, you just gotta sit pretty on his lap for a little bit, okay?

▸face fucking. he loves taking out all of his stress on you. gripping your hair as he uses your mouth mercilessly, bullying his cock down the back of your tight throat.

▸blindfolding. silk ribbons in a variety of colors that he matches to the underwear you're modeling for him. only the best for his lover <3

▸ thigh riding. there's no better way to put him in the mood than pathetically grinding yourself against his thigh, using his body selfishly for your own pleasure.

▸ hair pulling. y'all know that one scene... he pulls at your hair exactly like that. fingers going white with how tight he's tugging at you, manipulating your position until you're face to face with his scowl.

▸ spanking. makes you count for every slap and if you miscount, he's starting all over again. pay better attention to him next time, yeah?

▸ semi-public. yes, he will bend you right over his desk, no he doesn't care there's a meeting going on next door. or better yet, against the window of the fourth floor, overlooking the busy street below it.

▸ phone sex. it really isn't any problem that he's across the country on a mission. even just the sound of your whines over the phone is enough to get him off.

. *. ⋆ MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

▸ panty stealing. he would say he feels bad about it, but he doesn't. you looked so good in the lacey little things, he can't help but want to keep them for later. even has his own little drawer for them.

▸ masochism. the stinging pain of your nails running down his back is utterly euphoric. and don't get him started on how harshly you tug at his hair when he's eating you out- he can cum in his boxers just from that alone.

▸ breast play. massaging at the skin, feeling the plumpness under his fingertips. sucking at your nipples and leaving a trail of kisses down the valley of your breasts. he's obsessed.

▸ edging. leaving you just on the brink of release over and over again, until tears are streaming down your face. he'll let you cum eventually, you just look so pretty this worked up for him.

▸ marking. oh my goddd do not get megumi started on this. he doesn't know why it gets him so worked up- seeing you covered in the hickeys and bite marks that he's left on you- but it does.

▸ cunnilingus. eats you out like a man starved, like he'll never eat you out again. pulling him away from your poor pussy is next to impossible if he's not yet done with his meal.

▸ mutual masturbation. sometimes you both just need to relaxation of release and nothing more. sitting across from each other on the bed, or maybe side by side, listening to the moans of the other as you both touch yourselves.

▸ dacryphilia. like adoptive father like adopted son. seeing your eyes brim with tears from how good he's fucking you drives him crazy.

. *. ⋆ YUJI ITADORI

▸ ass play. we all know he's an ass man i mean come on?! doggy style is his favorite position just because of it. seeing how the fat of your ass moves with every slap of his hips is fucking addicting.

▸ praise kink. tell him how good he's fucking you and how much of a good boy he is pleaseeee!!!!

▸ toys. he didn't realize how much he would love bringing toys into the bedroom until he sees how hard you can cum around him while he holds a vibrator to your clit.

▸ raw sex. he knows it's stupid, fucking you with no protection. you're pussy just feels so good, so warm, he needs to fuck you raw.

▸ face riding. please sit on his face, suffocate him, he doesn't care. it's his favorite position to eat you out.

▸ overstimulation. poor baby doesn't even mean to overstimulate you half of the time- he just has so much stamina, you understand that, right? and seeing you so flushed and fucked out under him has him so horny. just one more round, yeah? you can do that for him, right?

▸ dirty talk. yuji is a yapper and that doesn't stop when he's fucking you. the filth that comes out of his mouth has you wet just thinking about it.

▸ dry humping. the tension, the intimacy, the panting, the friction?? all of it, it's like a drug to him.

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[mommypieck]

⌗︙・when you don't want to show choso your boobs ⸜⸜・

choso is so confused when it happens the first time. his body shivers with lust as he finally takes your clothes off and settles in between your legs. his mouth is almost at your clit and he lets his hands run wild, resting them on your bra to tug it down.

"no." you squeak out, your hands coming to shove his hands away. he looks confused at you.

"why can't i see them?" he whines. choso doesn't understand why you would hide such a precious thing from him. his mouth practically salivates at the thought of sucking on your nipples. but here you are, afraid to show them to him.

"i am not ready, can we wait?" of course he can wait, he would wait another 100 years just to see them. choso buries his mouth in your pussy, but the thoughts of why you don't wanna show him still haunt him. is it maybe because they're too small or because they are too big? maybe it's because you don't like your nipples. his mouth is slurping on your pussy and you can see he has a serious look on him. you were always insecure about your boobs but you feel bad for your boyfriend. he's not even paying attention to your pussy.

"choso?" you ask him and he perks up, "if you eat me good, im gonna show them to you."

you never had a better orgasm in your life. and ever since that night, he wouldn't leave your poor nipples alone.