#pauline calf

[vomittedsoap]

OC’s, Jopzier warmup drawing, Pauline Calf, and the sketch for my last Jopson drawing.

[ballroomfitz]

Oh Steve Coogan in cunty widow drag tenderly cradling a giant wooden penis we’re really in it now

[driftwooddestiel]

[eliorosb3rg]

my biggest hear me out will always be steve coogan dressed as a woman

[tigers-eyes-26]

Mario Fic Master Post pt 1

My own Mario AU based on games:

More of my stories:

[24-hourpartypeople]

Doing this massive Alan Partridge rewatch (still stuck at KMKY because of exams) because I became a fan in this weird way when I watched it all through clips and then episodes in random order and I want to experience it the way it was intended

But then I also want to rewatch Coogan's Run and Paul/Pauline Calf stuff and the Tony Ferrino phenomenon and Saxondale and the various Trips (I was actually rewatching but stopped at Italy so I guess I'll start again)

And at this point why not rewatch the Steve films I like. I saw many of them when I wasn't really aware of him. Luckily he's been in a lot of shit but Philomena, Stan & Ollie, Shepherds & Butchers, Cock & Bull Story and 24-Hour Party People are all worth revisiting (What Masie Knew is good too but can't be bothered), as well as Steve's scene in Coffee & Cigarettes and Marie Antoniette.

So yeah just wanted to announce that I've gone mad and there's no coming back.

[caffeineinducedbeing]

as the world caves in

chapter one

-----------

Muscle spasm! Damn! Ow, ow, ow. 

Alyss rubbed her aching calf, berating the fact that this always seemed to happen when she was running late for something important. After the cramping died down, she continued to race to the meeting room that she was supposed to have arrived at over half an hour ago. She heard papers flying out behind her, but glancing at a passing water clock, she knows she hasn’t the time to pick them up. 

She stops at the door and hesitates for only a brief moment before knocking and letting herself in. Immediately she sees Pauline, and four other courier colleagues, ones who she’s worked with for years. They were all seated at a round table with the Baron, and they looked up as she entered, some giving understanding smiles, some simply nodding a greeting. 

“I apologize for my tardiness my Lord, I hope I haven’t missed anything important?” 

She says as she sets her bags down and takes a seat next to Pauline. 

Arald brushes off her apology with a wave of his hand, “Ah, no, of course not. We’re just getting to the juicy bits of the meeting, I’d say.” And had this not been a room of well-trained diplomats, Alyss was positive there would’ve been some rolling of the eyes at his choice of wording. She found it quite difficult to contain one herself. But she smiled at him and nodded a thank you. And soon the meeting picked up its pace on its own. 

They were about halfway through a discussion about the resolution of a conference in Elrod fief when an urgent knocking sounded at the door. 

“Come in,” Arald called, as the room lapsed into silence. 

The door opened to reveal a castle guard. A young one, no older than 25, his inexperience was all too evident in the stress showing so clearly on his face. He was trying to conceal his panting breaths, but it was obvious he had run here.

He cleared his throat, “Uhm, I- I’m looking for an Alyss Mainwaring Treaty, sir– My lord.” he hastily corrected. 

“That’s Lady Alyss Mainwaring Treaty, young lad.” The baron interjected before Alyss interrupted him. 

“I am Lady Alyss,” She said quietly, and a bit hesitantly, which was unlike her. But something about this situation made her uneasy. The worry on the guard's face, the way he fidgeted with his hands as if the news he was to deliver was to destroy their very lives, and worst of all, it was the deep gut feeling that Alyss had been carrying around with her since that morning. It was the kind of gut feeling that could make people stay home from work, the kind that made people think twice before walking into danger, the kind that sometimes saved lives, and sometimes destroyed them. 

The guard hesitated again for another small moment, then determination overtook his features and he said as clearly and confidently as he could, “My Lady I was told to fetch you. It’s an emergency concerning Ranger Will Treaty. Your husband.”

Alyss was already out of her chair. Pauline and Arald followed closely behind her. Alyss heard the Baron speak to the other participants in the meeting, likely saying something about postponing the rest of it until a later date. But Alyss wouldn’t know that, she couldn’t hear a word anyone was saying anymore. 

Alyss gathered her things quickly, and rushed toward the door, asking the guard in a shaky voice. “Where is he?” 

“In the infirmary ma’am. The emergency wing of the infirmary.”

[papa-j]

Hello friends,

We got our chores done around the house, planted the garlic and winterized our yard, so here we go again on our next adventure,

this time to Ontario and back all in Canada. This is really a family and friends trip with some adventures for good measure.

Week 1

We left on Saturday at noon to Calgary where we met up with our friends Debbie and Burk. We had a delicious dinner and a lovely visit until after bedtime. 

On Sunday we met our friend Jessica and her daughters Priya and Zoey.  The took us out to the Bow Valley Equestrian Center to watch Priya being coached for jumping events.  She looked confident and had great posture in the saddle.  Zoey was helping out with other horses, she helps out on a regular basis at the centre and also rides when she has a chance. Great to see kids with some passion. 

On Monday Linda had a medical appointment at noon, so we had time for breakfast, fill up with gas and some shopping.

The first adventure begins.  We drove north on Hwy 2 to Airdre and then east to Drumheller, a nice drive through farmland, a lot of it harvested already.  

The countryside here is flat, Big Sky country, as they say and the farms are big spreads.  Here and there we saw oil pumps, usually a few within 500m from each other.

Just before Drumheller, Hwy 9 descends down into the Badlands. The town is on the Red Deer River, with some box stores,  it's a typical tourist town.  Nice and clean and friendly staff at the tourist info centre.

We decided to check out the Hoodoos south towards East Coulee. We wanted to check into the 11 Bridges campground in Rosedale, but it was closed with a sign "Private Property". SO we drove over the 11 bridges towards Wayne and went as far as the Coal Mine.

We stayed overnight at the Hoodoos RV Park. After setting up camp we went for a walk along the Red Deer River, where we spotted a moose cow and 2 calfs relaxing on a river island. 

We drove back to Drumheller in the morning for some local fresh brewed coffee and pastries. As it was still too early to go the the Museum, we drove north to a lookout over the Hoodoos.  

From there we drove north to Munson and then west to the Bleriot Ferry to cross the Red Deer river.  This ferry is a one man show, big enough for 3 cars or one truck and the captain is pretty relaxed and casual.The crossing took 15 minutes even though the distance was only 300 meters...

We had to climb back up to the prairie plateau to a lookout on the south rim of the Hoodoos.  Yes it's the same gorge but it shows a different look to this natural wonder.

Then we made it to Royal Tyrell Museum at 10:30 and first parking lot was already half full.  The displays and artifacts are incredible, all very interesting.  I would recommend this attraction to all.

After lunch we drove north to Dry Island Buffalo Jump Provincial Park, another beautiful view of the Badlands. The day use area was at the bottom of the valley. We drove down and back up on an 18% grade gravel road, but it was with worth it!

Then we drove north on Hwy 21 to Edmonton. This city has grown a lot since my last visit here. We got onto the ring road, the Anthony Henday Freeway in the south east. Our friends Jim, Pauline and Tucker live in the north west of the city so we got to drive around the city and it gave us a perspective on how big the place is now.

We stayed with our friends and got a grand tour of Edmonton the next day. The area along the North Saskatchewan River has nice parks, walking trails and attractions for day use.

The local buddhist centre had a lovely veggie garden

[vomittedsoap]

Imagine if drag was as debated as it is now in the 90’s and we never got Pauline Calf

[a-decent-steve-coogan-blog]

I’d sooo read this :D

[driftwooddestiel]

watching pauline calf marriott hotel song like its my cocomelon

[prisonmoose]

Steve's character is named Pauline Calf 😉

This might sound unrelated but hear me out: I stumbled upon a performance where Steve Coogan played a female character in a drag (wonderfully done too really worth checking out) and it makes me wonder if Owen has ever done anything similar?

I mean look at his huge doe eye and plump lips. Dude would look good in a dress for sure.

Yo someone let me know what the Steve Coogan drag piece is called 👀 on anon or not it doesn’t matter but I wanna give it a watch

Anyways anon I totally agree. We saw Hansel we know he can pull off unconventional stuff well. I’d be down to see him take something on. Not sure if he’s done anything (not to my knowledge) but it would be interesting

[zippocreed501]

Comedy hero Steve Coogan

Duncan Thickett

Paul Calf

Pauline Calf

Tommy Saxondale

Alan Partridge

[virtuesmh]

Steve Coogan in drag. Just, damn.

[richi4toziers]

this new planner I bought for uni has very much sensed my need to express my love for steve coogan and his fem!alter ego in the form of shitty time-wasting doodles; thank u kindly uni planner

[24-hourpartypeople]

So here it is. Little premise but it's quite impressive how played together as a whole it really hits as a criticism of today's capitalism, even 30 years later. Anyway, the rankings:

1. Ernest Moss

Absolutely love the character, maybe my favourite non-Partridge one (apart from Steve playing himself) because I love the idea of subverting stand up by doing that a crowd wouldn't deem entertaining in real life. The episode is a little gem, not as dense with gags as some of the others, but consistent with the way Ernest conducts himself. I love how the sense of grandiosity he carries is depolyed in such a parochial context, and the obsession with minutiae and technicalities is one of my favourite traits of Steve's comedy. Also love the 50s/60s vibe and Felicity Montagu in her pre-Lynn era.

2. Gareth Cheeseman

This would probably be number 1, and it would've been a much more popular character, if it didn't have such a Partridge vibe. It's extremely funny throughout, nearly every joke lands and there's a lot of them, and Gareth's such a cunt you just enjoy his downfall. It works pretty well as a satire of certain environments as well, you could almost pass it down as a parody of today's marketing influencers. Remarkable how Steve manages to make his most unlikeable character so entertaining.

3. Natural Born Quizzers

It's rare for Steve to go downright dark, usually it's more awkward/uncomfortable than unhinged/bleak, so this is a welcome addition to the canon. I particularly love Steve and Patrick's chemistry here and the whole schtick about their particular choices with language sound VERY amusing to me. It combines black humour, surrealism and the inevitable dose of cringe very well.

4. Paul Calf

I love Paul Calf as a character, it could seem demeaning/patronising at first but there's a genuine warmth to both him and his sister Pauline, but I do think the Video Diary and Pauline's Wedding Diary are both funnier than this episode. The plot here is a bit messy, although its resolution adds to the fun and some of the jokes are brilliant. Also Paul starting the "Who the fuck are Man United?" on the cult's bus is one of those random, hidden moments in Steve's catalogue that just get me. And another little note, when Paul and Pauline appear together in the same shot, you do forget they're played by the same person, which I guess is a testament to the talent of that Middleton fella.

5. Mike Crystal/Clint Stallone

Absolutely fucking mad, albeit with less energy than the others. Mike himself is not that interesting as a character (he CAN sing though) but the whole duality thing as a concept vs how ridiculously it's orchestrated and played out is what makes the episode. The scene where he pretends to argue with Clint is a cringe masterclass. Favourite random moment when he gets the spoiler about Carlos the Jackal (which according to the DVD commentary is/was one of Steve's absurdly partridgesque obsessions, just felt I had to add this).

6. Tim Fleck The Curator

Not as funny as the Pool Attendant sketch, from which it clearly takes its inspiration, but again I like how it wanders more into weird/bleak territory. Not many laugh out louds moments, and although none of these obviously has a particularly original plot, this does feel a bit too linear. But Steve plays the assertive to disturbed to deranged vibe very well and that keeps you interested till the end. Also Tim was kinda right.

Decided to rewatch Coogan's Run properly (last time I did while playing the commentary) so I can rank them, stay tuned