#paul was a LOT less intense in those.

[sanchoyoscribbles]

2/2 of my dangan ronpa ocs, the boys! see the first half (the girls) here!

this story takes place after dr2 in an au where drv3 doesn't happen (...just because I made it before that game actually came out and don't wanna factor it in haha, these are actually redesigns of old ocs...)

the setting is a murder mystery mansion. Veronica Belvedere invites her classmates over for a two week stay in her and her brother's family mansion the summer before they're all due to attend an American branch of Hope's Peak together! ...And then murder starts happening. More abt the characters under the cut! OwO

-Andrew was raised by his mother who was the Belvedere's former head butler. When she passed away when he was 11, he took over her role to everyone's surprise, with natural ease. He was raised alongside the Belvedere's and considers them his bosses, but also feels responsible for them. He seems to want to maintain an extremely formal relationship with both of them, despite the fact they act overly familiar to him. Andrew is very formal and polite, but also seems to be hardworking, decisive and confident. He has a very analytical mind, and if something isn't rational he will argue against it. Despite that if his masters ask something of him he will almost never turn them down, unless it threatens their or someone else's well-being. He also seems somewhat adverse to being in the spotlight, stating that a butler shouldn't be seen too much unless needed.

-Rodrique is Veronica's brother, but the two of them couldn't be more different. Despite being twins, Rodrique was always treated as the eldest due to his maturity over his sister, and has been groomed to run the family business and be the heir since he was a child. He is far more serious than his sister, and usually the only one brave enough to try to keep her in line. Rodrique doesn't have a talent, but he is also going to be attending the American Hope's Peak in the reserve department's business course. He doesn't seem to mind not having a talent, instead being a bit arrogant because he knows he'll have more money than most of the talented kids anyway. He is ruthless and rational, and like his sister he can be a little condescending and intimidatingly intelligent.

-Rodrique is Veronica's brother, but the two of them couldn't be more different. Despite being twins, Rodrique was always treated as the eldest due to his maturity over his sister, and has been groomed to run the family business and be the heir since he was a child. He is far more serious than his sister, and usually the only one brave enough to try to keep her in line. Rodrique doesn't have a talent, but he is also going to be attending the American Hope's Peak in the reserve department's business course. He doesn't seem to mind not having a talent, instead being a bit arrogant because he knows he'll have more money than most of the talented kids anyway. He is ruthless and rational, and like his sister he can be a little condescending and intimidatingly intelligent.

-Elliot is a star football player for his high school team, starting the game because his friend was nervous to go to try outs alone. Eli pretty much has his choice of any college in the country because he's that good, but Elliot has hinted at feeling uncomfortable being in the limelight and despite his large stature, seems to have severe anxiety, keeping a small dog (Pooch!!) with him to calm him down. Despite his anxiety, he works extremely well with others, seemingly very tolerant and reliable. Although his weaknesses are being too sensitive or too indecisive, he seems to be aware of these and is actively working on them.

-Theodore was born and raised in a small town- and according to him 'there was so little to do, so I had to find some hobby or I'd go crazy'. Near his house was a small radio station, and he actually got in trouble for vandalizing it, and as punishment as made to help the owner/broadcaster after school, which started his love for radio. He and the owner became good friends and had a mentor/student dynamic until the owner passed and left the radio station to Theo. He was a very social and loves putting on a show, so radio broadcasting came naturally to him. Because of his talent, he knows a lot of famous people having interviewed them, and loves to socialize. Sometimes he forgets boundaries or becomes too friendly or flirty and can make people uncomfortable. He also loves gossip, but hates confrontation when it involves him, so he's more inclined to hide in the background and take mental notes than jump into a fight.

-Paul grew up with his parents who ran a landscaping business together. He followed them around and quickly learned all the tricks and methods and started adding his own flare to it. He's a soft spoken and artistic boy who is eager to help his parents and one day take over their business for them. When he was thirteen he was invited to California to work under the Belvederes as their private landscaper, but he was hesitant to leave his parents so young. They encouraged him though, saying he could always come back, but the new experience would be a great adventure. Since then Paul has lived with the Belvederes. Despite his soft spokenness his favorite genre of music is metal, and he's actually pretty passionate about it, modeling his style after his favorite singer. ...He and Andrew butt heads over his style a lot since Andrew is technically his boss, but Veronica insists she likes Paul's style and expression, so there's not a lot Andrew can really do about it.

-Nat grew up in Florida with his two older sisters and his aunt. He was a bit socially awkward as a child, and preferred to spend his time at the beach instead of with friends his own age. When he entered school he got a teacher who had a fish tank for educational purposes, and got more interested in fish through that. When he was fourteen he got contacted by the Belvederes, asking him to become their live-in aquarist and maintain their huge aquarium. He reluctantly agreed, but seems to regret it. Nat comes off as an antisocial hothead, stating that he prefers fish to people. He has a deep understanding of science and all of the mechanics behind fish keeping and is actually a bit of a bookworm with an intelligent streak despite his appearance. He's an extremely hard worker himself. He also has a hard time recognizing his or other people's emotions or emotional needs.

SO!! In addition to the general bios I also wanted to add, three of the boys here are employed by the Belvedere family! The parents made a point to try and get younger teens/kids their own kids age living with and working with them because Veronica and Rodrique were tutored privately at home, so they were a bit..isolated? (not for no reason ofc, Veronica has SERIOUS attitude problems that led to this being necessary) So Nat, Andrew, and Paul all also live at the mansion pre-story! Just something worth mentioning :3

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.3

Listen here folks, I remember a lot from the movie however most of those memories are Hugh Jackman's abs

I hope this is alright, I added a few bits and obviously there will be dialogue that I have forgotten but I really hope it's semi-good, I know a lot of you have wanted a third part so hopefully it lives up to your standards 🫶

There be "violence" in this one

<< Part 2 Part 4 >> Masterlist

Logan had spent the journey drinking Gambit's booze and watching you sleep. You looked younger when you slept, less worn. He used to love taking you to your room when you fell asleep grading his pupil's papers or even just watching TV in the sitting room. He'd scoop you up in his arms and secure you safely in your room, then eventually he'd settle you in his. 

You had said the word husband yesterday, that wasn't lost on him. You'd been married to your version of Wolverine. One that wasn't too ‘macho’ to ask. One that loved you freely. He was a fucking idiot for being scared to take that leap. He and you had settled into a fuck-buddy-but-there-were-feelings-involved situation. 

He could've had more with you. 

Maybe if he was with you he wouldn't have been at a bar when the humans attacked.

He was lost without his friends but he was truly wrecked without you. When he found your body amongst the pile of mutants something inside him snapped. He couldn't stop hurting people. It began with the bad, then the semi-bad, then the not bad and eventually he killed innocents. He killed people that didn't deserve it. He made a bad name for the mutants and the X-Men. He killed the X-Men by tarnishing the memory. 

He couldn't be without you again. He'd bring you with him, take you to wherever Deadpool was taking him.

Surely he could convince you.

“You'll have to wake her soon.” Laura's voice pulled him from his thoughts. She was staring intensely but not in an intimidating way. He didn't think she could stare without the intensity behind her eyes. She was born with it, through him. 

“I will.” He agreed. 

“You want some?” She raised an open cereal box. He didn't know why but he didn't want to insult her any more. He accepted some and thanked her. It was chalky but tasted vaguely like chocolate. Laura still just watched Logan, every stretch of his jaw as he chewed and eventually swallowed and then she still gazed into his soul  “You love her.” 

Logan didn't think it was a question but responded. He couldn't disagree if he wanted to. “Yes.” 

“I do, too.” She flicked her eyes to your face and then turned her head, repositioning herself on Blade's shoulder. 

Logan stayed still for another few minutes but the silhouette of the giant, Wade called Paul Rudd, became visible in the distance. It was time to wake you. 

He delicately shook your shoulder and you frowned, grumbling and burrowing higher into his neck.

“Baby.” Logan shook you again, and you let out a huff, squinting open one eye. “We'll be there soon.” 

You raised your head and slowly sat up, eyes sleepy and letting out a small yawn. Logan gave you a soft smile as he flattened a piece of hair that had stuck out, his hand slid down to caress your cheek. 

“You could come with us.” 

“With you?” Your brain was still mush. “I can't leave them.” 

“No.” He lied. “You should be up there in the skull with ‘Pool and me. It would be a better vantage point for you.” 

The plan was to have Laura, Elektra, Blade, and Gambit on the offence whilst you were their defence. You always were the protector, the shield of the group. Wade and Logan were going to distract and then use Juggernaut’s helm to bargain with Cassandra Nova. 

You took a moment to consider with your slow brain but then agreed. “Yeah, that's probably a good idea.” 

You continued to wake yourself up, preparing for a fight. It wasn't hard to, everyday in this wasteland was a fight. Everyone seemed to work for this Cassandra lady which meant that they wanted to kill you for not. 

In your peripheral you saw Blade open the sunroof, before rummaging in his bag.

Gambit spoke over the radio, “so, ami, ‘e gonna be ‘lastin’ a way through those’re hands.” 

“What he means to ask is how are we going to get through? I feel like that was an integral part of this plan and I have miss-” Wade cut himself off when he felt movement behind him. Blade had stood and freed the rocket launcher, hoisting it over his shoulder and aiming. “Oh my god, where did you get that?” 

El glanced through the rearview mirror and answered, “Punisher.” slamming her foot down on the gas.

“What one there's been like five?” 

You couldn't hear the end of his question as Blade fired the shot, it landed right in the centre breaking the fingers. 

“Hold on!” El ordered as she expertly spun the car to the left. 

Smoke plumed as you all were quick to exit. Elektra, Wade and Blade were to the left side. Logan, yourself and Laura to the right, Gambit was in the middle shuffling his deck. 

The others: mutants, supes, enhanced, all crowded you, waiting for the order to kill. There were familiar faces such as Lady Deathstrike, Toad, Juggernaut and Blob. There were others that you were fairly sure you recognised through their distinctive features despite them having different faces, like Azazel and Pyro. 

There were a good fifty more circling you, Laura smirked putting her sunglasses on. Blade spun his weapons then tapped one on Elektra's sais in a ‘cheers’ motion. Wade had his katanas out and your Wolverines both extended their claws. You and Gambit, the only ones with ‘magic’ powers stayed fairly still, well, as still as he could be. 

Cassandra was standing above you all in the skull of an Ant-Man, you remembered when he got there. She was quick to free him of skin and then organs. Positioning him in this horrid way, using his body as a base. It made you sick when you thought of the palaces and the buildings that came through the portals in abundance. 

“You came back.” She spoke. Her accent was posh but her tone was clipped. Clearly annoyed. 

“You have to send us back!” Wade shouted. 

She gave you a smirk and retreated into the right eye socket. 

Here's where the fun begins. 

“Let's fucking go!” Deadpool yelled. You all let out a war cry, Gambit's being “Allons!” as you all depart at the same time, each of you taking a side and going for it. Blade went toe to toe with Toad, Elektra fought Lady Deathstrike, Logan fought a very large man you didn't recognize, Wade fought a Doc Ock, Gambit took on a group of four, and Laura went for the big guy himself. Juggernaut. 

You were paired with Azazel. The man zapping about, striking you and vanishing before you could catch him. It took his tail tripping you for you to land on your back and actually be in a good-visibility position. Quickly you trapped him in a forcefield. It was an intense battle of power. The field had been a bubble but you wrapped it around his appendages and forced him to stay in one spot. Forced him still. But he struggled. He fought against you, red mist seeping from the forcefield as he thrashed about. 

You had trapped him but couldn’t do anything to dispose of him. If you flung him away he would just reappear and it was getting noticed that you were distracted. Quickly you rose to your feet, arms still extended, shaking with brute force and out of the corner of your eye you could see her. She ran towards you and you dropped on hand flinging a force field in the shape of a disc - you had so eloquently named a forcedisc - at her. It sliced through her side but she didn't stop. 

“El!” You yelled, barely dodging the acid she spat. Your arms stayed extended in the same position but you managed to kick her in the chest as she took a deep breath. She spluttered, acid dripping down her face and landing on her shirt. Her skin was immune but the fabric burned. 

Elektra spun to your call and nodded, having fought with you before she understood what was needed. 

You moved Azazel over to her and Elektra stabbed him, your forcefield opening just as the sai made contact. 

As you focused on the exact millisecond to release your palms, ‘acidgirl’ was able to choke you from behind. You conjured a muzzle over her mouth and held it there. Quickly plucking your knife out. 

Killing wasn't exactly new to you but it always felt bad, no matter if the feeling got smaller and smaller each time. You still felt guilty as you thrust behind and stabbed her stomach. 

Once you released the field her acid fell upon your shoulder. The suit fizzled and you were quick to pull the fabric from your skin. It still burned through but you pushed on. 

“Oit L/N!” Wade shouted over spinning cartoonishly across Logan's back to stab someone. 

You hadn't realised how isolated you were compared to the others, you were right at the back of the group, by the car. You threw out some forcediscs holding them stationary and jumped on them, over the heads of those trying to kill you. You ran, ascending up, towards the skull, flinging a couple out for Wade and Logan. They were quick to follow your cue and you made sure they and you got to each eye socket. 

They entered the right as you perched in the left, finding yourself at a much better position strategically.

Their plan was distraction. Yours was protection. You could do yours in your sleep. Quickly stopping a hammer landing on Elektra and misplacing a punch to Gambit. 

You had gotten more powerful being here. You had to. Your forcefields were no longer merely for protection, they could now be used as a force. Similar to Jean’s telekinesis except you were still using the forcefields, only they were now differently shaped, i.e. the ball that had knocked into the man's fist when he aimed for Gambit's face. 

A gate fell to the floor, landing on the Honda, and a creature stalked out of it, dark claws crushing the car as though it was tissue paper. 

You were quick to try and halt the thing. It was a humongous wolf? You couldn't be sure as it had two sets of eyes and three tails. It was clearly not from your version of earth. 

“Let it go!” Blade yelled up, smiling wide. “I got this!” 

You obeyed his order and focused your energy on Laura. Who had just decapitated Juggernaut. That's my girl. 

Quickly you flung multiple discs for her to jump onto, she was efficient as always and leapt towards the right eye socket when Psylocke's lasso yanked her back.

“Laura!” You screamed, instinctively opening a field around her head and closing your fist, crushing it - you'd never even thought to do that, never once occurred to use your power that way - just in time your baby tossed her backpack into the eye socket and it skidded across the marble floor and straight into Deadpool's awaiting hand.

You hadn't even noticed what was going on behind you. There was talking and now nothing. Sneaking a glance you saw Logan on his knees with Cassandra holding his cheeks. Her fingers disappeared into his skin, he was twitching slightly but she looked peaceful. 

Wade quickly revealed the helm and tiptoed behind her. 

“BOOM!” Gambit’s voice could be heard and then a series of much larger explosions than you were used to detonated. 

You were brought back to the battle at hand and decided that maybe crushing heads was the way to go when you saved El, who had been cornered by two men. 

Blade, having been fighting the beast, was currently sat on top of it and plunged a knife into its head. Downing the creature. 

There actually wasn't an awful lot of enemies left to fight and you were feeling good about the outcome when you saw it.

Alioth. 

The celestial dragon had its gaze set upon you. “Guys!” You called down. “Alioth is coming!” 

Realistically there wasn't anything you could do. You couldn't shield them from this. But perhaps Cassandra could? Did she save people from the dragon? Surely she didn't offer them up, right?

“Get inside!” You ordered and quickly turned to find Wade holding her firmly with Juggernaut’s helmet forced upon her. 

Logan was talking to her and you jogged over. 

“Alioth is coming.” You informed. 

“I can't save you with this on my head.” She taunted. 

“You won't save us anyway!” Wade countered, “Logan, you want me to off her?” His fingers twitched near her neck. 

“No.” Logan shook his head. 

“You sure? I'm right here.” 

“It's not what-Charles wouldn't want that. If he knew about you, my Charles, he would stop at nothing to come find you. To save you. He would've loved you.” 

You had known Cassandra for her reputation. She was the big cheese, she called the shots, she had an immense power and used it to do whatever she wanted. Everyone else were her playthings. But here, with the helm on, she looked small. She was tiny and thin and her eyes glossed over at Logan's words. 

“Mine, too.” You knew you didn't have to speak but you wanted her to know. That was the X-Man in you. Charles’ influence. Everyone deserves help. 

She looked at you and you felt as though she was looking into your very soul. Her eyes, even powerless, were weighty. 

“We can't release her, she'll kill us.” Wade reminded you. He wasn't wrong. What could you do? What should you do? 

You didn't have the time to think of a plan. “We need to hurry up, that monster is on its way.” 

A gunshot echoed through the skull as well as your own. You quickly forced a shield up, covering the four of you. 

Pyro was behind it, pointing the weapon at Cassandra. Your eyes followed the angle to see she was beginning to bleed heavily from her stomach. 

“I am tired of being her errand boy! 'Do this, get that', well no more!” He sauntered towards you all, the gun lowered to his side, you slowly eased the shield back as he spoke. “When is it my turn? First Magneto, then Apocalypse, Scarlet Witch and now Cassandra Nova!” 

When he was within range Logan silenced him with an efficient right hook. You know it hurt, because that man was heavy. 

“Not everyone gets a speech.” 

Blood splurged from Cassandra’s mouth as she coughed. “Shit!”  

“Wade, you have to take her helmet off.” 

“She, again, will. Kill. Us.” He tightened his hold. “You missed it, she said she'd ‘rub herself silly watching’ a second ago!”

“She's dying.” You argued. 

Logan agreed, “she needs her powers to help us, we're stuck here if she dies.” 

Wade let out a frustrated yell before he conceded and yanked the helmet off her. Her body fell to the floor as he let go and you were quick to help her. 

“It's okay, can you hea-” She was already up and standing, leaving you kneeling on the floor. “Oh.” 

You stood to your full height and watched as she kicked Pyro’s body before addressing you. “A wizard came through here. He died and I got this.” She revealed a fancy ring. Causing Wade to gasp and say ‘strange’. “You saved me and I am curious to how this will play out...so I suppose I can get you back, but you better hurry. As your friend mentioned, Alioth is coming.” 

Cassandra raised her arms and spun a circle, forming a physical one as she did. It crackled and sparked and in the centre was a street. There were cars and houses and people. It was home. Or a version of a home. 

It was civilisation. 

After all this time you could smell it. 

“Go on.” She nodded towards the ‘portal’. 

Logan grasped your hand and you were tempted. By god you were. 

But Gambit, Elektra, Blade and Laura. Your Laura who you had to help with her periods and hygiene; Laura who came into your room when she had a bad dream; Laura who had offered to help feed Blade - in a similar fashion that Logan did - because she ‘healed’ and didn't want you guys to suffer. 

You pulled free from him. “I can't leave her.”  

“Y/N.” Logan tried again. “This is your chance to escape!” 

“I won't leave her.” You clarified. 

“I-” 

“Guys, chop chop!” Wade accentuated the words with a clap. 

“Save the world and come back for me.” You offered lamely. It was a very long shot. But what else could you say? You knew he was here to save Deadpool's world, if it worked maybe you could all live there?

“I can't lea-” 

You pushed him away. “Go. I'll be here.” 

.

.

Part 4

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 1 [In Throes of Increasing Wonder...] - part 2/2

- [Louis] "It bears repeating, I did not consider myself a homosexual man at the time" - yeah that was the repression talking. "I ended up embracing my sexuality" - oh did you? That why people still write you as an altar boy?

- [Daniel] "We're not here for me" - not yet, Danny, not yet... Your turn will come.

- [Louis] "I had never let myself to feel emotionally close to anyone, much less a man" - okay, this boy needs a thousand hugs. Who's volunteering? Never mind, outta my way, I'm volunteering.

- [Louis] "You could be a lot of things in New Orleans, but an openly gay Negro man was not one of them" - sadly I'm pretty sure the rule still applies in many parts of the world today. Oh, hey, another social commentary! Love those.

- [Louis] "I vowed never to return again. I shut that night out of my mind and turned my attentions back to life as it was before" - sure Jan. Meanwhile Lestat is premiering the yellow dressing gown of wallowing and depression.

- Aaaand it's been a month. Grace's wedding. She's so pretty. "Altar Boys Come Dancing Everyday For God" - excuse me while I go dying of laughter. But also, hey, y'all ready for Louis to lose all of his societal markers and all of his culture? That's gonna hurt. Another reason why making Louis Black is the best choice ever. There's culture here, there's community, and Louis' about to be cut off from all of that, the music, the dancing, the traditions and rituals. But also, if we consider book canon, the Creole community of NOLA and its ties with voodoo are going to come into focus later on. I don't think Rolin Jones will adapt Merrick, but still, it's there and it makes what happens in Merrick to Louis even more intense when you picture Creole Louis instead of white Louis.

- [Paul] "I think you should get married next" - what did I say about provoking the universe? One way or another everything gets manifested.

- [Paul] "'You think Levi loves her enough? You know, Grace needs a lot of love.' [Louis] 'I do.' [Paul] 'Do you think he's givin' her everything he's got inside of him?' [Louis] 'Mm-mh.'"

This. This little exchange is very, very crucial. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs a lot of love. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs their partner to give them everything they have. Now consider Lestat: does he love Louis? At this point he loves an idea of Louis, an ideal. Will he come to actually love the true Louis? Yes. Will it be enough? Definitely no. Why? Because he didn't give Louis everything, and that's what Louis needed. Now the other problem, because there is another problem, because the fault definitely does not lie only in Lestat, is that Louis cut himself off from loving, by his own words. Louis doesn't allow himself to love, and thus, doesn't allow himself to be loved. And Lestat, Lestat similarly does not open himself up entirely, therefore does not love truly. *big sigh* Gonna take a good century and more, but we'll get there.

- The shots of Louis and Paul on the roof at sunrise are gorgeous. Light's absolutely gorgeous. Don't know if it was shot on location or in studio, but that whole scene is bathed in warm lights, ethereal light, it's truly gorgeous.

- "'I love you Louis.' 'And I love you too, baby brother'" - exit Paul, pursued by his birdies. Others have written about it better than I (need to find that post), but that's the last thing that Paul says to his brother. Those are the last words Louis says to his most favourite person in the whole wide world. Understandably, that messes him up and he locks the words away deep deep down, buried where they can't hurt anyone else, because in Louis' grief and guilt, it's the words that pushed Paul to jump. Better not to say them and risk the ones he loves. Except you can't live your life and love people locking away the love. You need to get the words out to truly give them power. And that's Louis' downfall after all. He gave some words too much power that didn't need it, shouldn't have that power, and he took the power from some words that should never have lost it.

- [Louis] "That was the last sunrise I ever saw. Perhaps the kindest thing the dark gift has given me. I don't miss the sun, the reminders it carries." - yeah understandable. Do seek out some therapy tho.

- I appreciate how Daniel closes his laptop and follows Louis on the balcony. It shows the depths of his compassion, or even, empathy.

- Oh, hey, social commentary on the world of the 2020s, now. This show keeps on giving. [Louis] "This virus, it turned the world sideways" - yeah, well, perhaps not enough, 'cause look at us four years after/into the pandemic, not a lot has changed, has it? I think it needs a few more turns of the screw.

- [Daniel] "'I get it. I' m gonna die. They're gonna die. But not the vampire.' [Louis] 'The vampire is bored. The human was destroyed.'" - okay Louis you have got to stop hanging out only with Armand, it's not doing good for your psyche.

I love how vampirism corrects the physical aspects (within limits), repairs the broken and bleeding, but can do nothing against the mental illness. Born as a mortal with depression and anxiety? Too bad, that goes on as a vampire, and bad news everyone, now you can't even properly kill yourself! Enjoy an eternity with the parasite in your brain.

- [Mama du Lac] "You must have said something to him, Louis, to make him do that to himself." - we have a contender for Mother of the Year here, guys. Pretty sure she can compete against Gabrielle. The violence of the mother telling her oldest son he's at fault for the youngest's suicide. And now "Paul's in Hell because of you" GREAT GEE THANKS MAMA. I'm gonna go take a swim in the Mississippi.

- [Louis] "Lestat's ambush had disoriented me." - yeah, you have a stalker, baby boy. And depression. And a mother who hates you. And a dead brother. And the weight of being a Black gay man in 1910 New Orleans. That's. That's a looooooot. Oh, and your only friend Miss Lily got Lucy-ed. Babe you need a break and the story hasn't even properly started, lmao.

- "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Grievously sinned. I'm a drunk, Lord. I'm a liar. I am a thief, Lord. I profit off the miseries of other men, and I do it easy. Drugs, liquor, women. I-I-I-I lure them in and grab what they got, Lord. I take daughters with no homes and I-I put 'em out on the street, Lord, and I lie to myself saying I-I'm giving them a roof and food and dollar bills in they pocket, but I look in the mirror, I know what I am - the big man in the big house, stuffing cotton in my ears so I can't hear their cries. And Lord, I dragged my family into this mess with me. I shame my father. I f- I failed my brother. I lost my mother and sister, and rather than fix it like a man should, Lord, I run like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds. I-I laid down with a man. I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me, all his spindly roots in me, and I can't think nothin' anymore but his voice and his words! Please, help me! I am weak! I wanna die!"

Sorry, I needed to put the entire tirade because jesus h christ, ALL THE AWARDS FOR JACOB. The voice quivering. The staccato of the confession, the rhythm of the repetition, "Lord". The crescendo, the way the voice quickens, the way Louis is shivering and spitting out the words as if they're razor blades hurting his throat as he speaks them. This man needs all the awards, now.

And also because this. This is the heart of Louis in the first part of his story. The grief. The powerlessness. The shame. The self-hatred. The religious turmoil. The fact that it's so easy for him to do bad things.

The parallel with Lestat, Lestat who was the pourvoyeur of food for his impoverished family back in the Auvergne, Wolfkiller Lestat who took on his shoulder the responsibility of putting food on his family's table even when his family never had a kind word or gesture for him, even when his family hurt him the most.

And finally, oooh, book spoiler, the "spindly roots" of the Devil/Lestat in him, the tentacles of Amel inside each and every vampire and how Louis was the first one to get free of this influence. Oh, the writers are clever. So clever. And this speech is so brilliantly written. And delivered.

- And finally Lestat the hunter. Lestat the killer. Lestat the monster. The monster with too many emotions.

"This primitive country has picked you clean. It has shackled you in permanent exile. Every room you enter, every hat you're forced to wear - the stern landlord, the deferential businessman, the loyal son - all these roles you conform to and none of them your true nature. What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. The first time I laid eyes on you, your beautiful face, I saw that sorrow. I did not know how it got there or why it was so voluminous. I can take away that sorrow, Louis. I can give you that death you begged your feeble, blind, degenerate, nonexistent god for. But I can do it... joyfully. I can swap this life of shame, swap it out for a Dark Gift and a power you can't begin to imagine. You just have to ask me for it. You just have to nod your beautiful head... and say yes. I love you, Louis. You are loved. I send my love to you, and you send it back round to me. And this circle, this home we barely had a glimpse of... know it frightens me as much as it does you."

Oh, boy, Lords have mercy on me, a second absolutely stunning morceau de bravoure in the span of ten minutes, another epicness of writing and acting and delivering, just as many awards for Sam for heaven's sake, that was phenomenal.

And now onto the content itself. Just as with Louis, this is the heart of Lestat at that point of time, that which explains him - or could explain him, but we have to remember that those are Louis' words about Lestat's words. Louis' version of what Lestat said. But here we see, the loneliness of Lestat, his fear of being alone always. We see his one true big dream, to have a home, to belong, to be a part of something bigger than himself where he'd be seen, he'd be loved, he'd matter. The dream he achieves in the final books of the series, Prince Lestat, the dream that takes him more than two hundred years to reach. The dream he thought, felt, believed was possible alongside Louis. Except neither Lestat nor Louis were ready at this point. Because there is still so much they don't know. About themselves, about vampiric nature, about the world at large. About love and what love is, what love can be, what love should be, what love shouldn't be. Because yes, Lestat does love Louis. Fell first, as we'd say. But fell broken and twisted, didn't understand the nature of this love, didn't realize that you cannot love an ideal, an image, an icon, that you must love a real being with all their flaws and complexities and paradoxes.

And another thing is how at the start, Louis is hang up on his religious upbringing and its trauma, while Lestat rejected it all, or claims that he did. And then the steam inverses, and in the late 20th century (if we go by book canon), Louis's full on atheist and doesn't care anymore about religion (written black on white in the books), while Lestat is going through crisis of faith after crisis of faith (Akasha, the body thief, Memnoch...). They're not traveling the same Devil's road, and their roads are not joining together, not yet, not for a very long time, and all their efforts to make their separate roads one singular one will harm them more than if they hadn't done anything.

part 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[paintedgrilledcheese]

Cheese's 100 follower special part 1

(Thank you all for following me and sticking around to see what contents I post!!! For hitting triple digits I'm doing special posts. This one is all about the cut and unused content ideas/plans for RPs.)

(For the people who wanted to be tagged: @ilovefukuchi @myluckymoon @caffeiiine )

Each unplanned idea will be in character order of when I first created them.

Levi

There's a lot with Levi when I first made him. At first there wasn't a proper backstory for him other than that he was a traumatized guy.

Levi was already arrested in his backstory before, so my whole goal with him was to get him arrested again and sent back to prison.

This would have triggered a rescue mission, or a prison escape (in my head I made Sayaka and Oscar go save him)

On the same topic of rescuing Levi, I have this old idea I played in my head where Levi was supposed to be kidnapped by this ability user that had the power to trap people in this video game. Bro Levi would have been in a little cage like Princess Peach.

If Levi was ever brought back to prison I would have created a little headspace segment for him (kinda like omori)

Ross

At first, Ross wasn't supposed to be a military captain. Instead, he was going to be some doctor to kidnap Levi back for experiments. This was changed to fit the backstory more.

Ross and Levi were supposed to have this big fight at one point.

And Ross was supposed to die by Levi finally killing him but in a bitter sweet goodbye.

Dr. Ikari

He was supposed to be the more cold doctor, but instead, he gave a more "I don't give a crap attitude."

He was going to help capture Levi, only to calm him down.

Nothing much about him other than a potential death.

Cooper

Oh boy, there is so much for Cooper.

At first, Cooper wasn't going to be brought back entirely. All because the og Cooper was dead and it would have ruined some of Levi's character development. So instead, I made this Cooper from a different universe.

At first, I was going to have him wander around and ask multiple people, "Are you my master?" But on the first one with Shibusawa, I had him settle with him for a long time.

He was almost gay or bi, but I gave him a female love interest. (Also his "love" for Shibusawa was more so a obsession than actual love.)

Big one‼️ Cooper at one point before he killed X, was going to go back to X. Either through by getting fired or just plain manipulation.

There were going to be multiple times in which he got kidnapped but those never happened.

At one point, he was going to snap, but that never happened as well.

Richard Connell

He was going to be more of an evil, bad guy with a god complex. Now he silly.

Fiona Delgado

She was created to flirt with an older version of Shibusawa. That never happened.

She was supposed to work at a normal boring job but I changed it to be the Port Mafia.

Hunter

Was going to die, never happened.

He was going to be a cool priest, but now he works for the Special Operations Division.

Dr. Paul

Was supposed to hunt down every vampire and try to kill then all.

Perhaps give him a potential love interest in which the irony of it is that the love interest is a vampire.

Felix

He was supposed to be more angry and charming, but he's just some goofy guy who yells at his rival and is actually a lot more friendly.

He was supposed to be ability-less but him having a cool sword as his ability sounded cool.

At one point, Lance (from Prime Softwares) was going to change Felix's "programming" and make him go on a murder rampage. Possibly a really intense boss fight with X.

Prime Softwares

Lance was supposed to die (he's barely alive but he's alive)

Lance and Grian were supposed to have this discussion and Lance would have threaten to deactivate Grian.

At one point, Grian would have completed a mission, but Lance would deactivate him anyways for a more new and improved model.

So Grian was almost a box of scraps for anyone to take.

The whole thing with the androids was to learn how to fuse ability user's blood into androids so androids could have said ability from the user. Basically weapons.

Because Lance wanted to take over the world with these androids.

At one point Grian was going to turn on Lance and attack Lance instead.

[pynkhues]

The problem is that Claudia isn't a mirror, she's a child, then a woman, and when she is reflecting them, I do think Louis tends to see Lestat in her and not himself.

(Same Anon you were answering) Yes! Complete agreement on Louis looking for a mirror of himself in Claudia and not seeing many of the ways she takes after him. Personally I think he’s also resisting seeing her more Lestat-ish sides until he’s forced to face them. Part of the problem is that he’s only looking for the more savory parts of himself in her, not the ones he’s less than keen to admitting to and I think that’s tied to…the social and moral acceptability of loving Claudia. It’s not the best way of putting it but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while but I’m still struggling to express: how important I think it is to Louis that Claudia is someone that he can and should love unconditionally and without the shame and baggage of loving Lestat, both as his child and as an innocent -or as much an innocent as a vampire can be.

(x)

Yeah, I totally agree.

To add to your point about Louis and unconditional love, this might sound like a bit of a stretch, but bear with me, haha, but I think it kind of ties into this throughline of Louis placing an enormous amount of responsibility on himself to be the primary resource/provider/carer for those he loves, and as a part of that, being in denial of their needs when they need things he doesn't want to acknowledge, or has no skills or resources to meet?

I've been percolating on this a bit during my very-slow-rewatch of the series, but I really do think we see the foundation of that in the pilot where Louis' not only obviously taken on the entire financial burden of the de Pointe du Lac family, but is simultaneously trying to oversee (with Florence) Grace getting married, and the care of Paul. I talk about it a bit in my Grace post, but I think Louis shutting down Grace when she brings up the prospect of seeking help is a really telling character moment.

Not only is it indicative of his shifting role in her life between brother and father, and his paternalistic tendencies generally, but I think it also reflects his denial of the idea that caring for Paul is something he can't handle himself. It's coming from a genuine place of love, but the reality is also that none of them are equipped to help Paul in the way that he needs it, and Louis will downplay that because he doesn't want it to be true.

What Louis wants is to be everything to everyone all of the time, and I think there is a part of him that resents them for it. I mean, he basically literally says that to Claudia's face - he does see her as a burden, and that frustrates him, but at the same time, he wants that. He wants burdens, he wants people to need him, and when they need something he can't give them, well, he resents them for that too.

I think we see it a lot with Louis when it comes to Claudia, but I think we see it with Lestat and a bit with Armand too. He wants to be the person they need most, and what that looks like changes based on the person and relationship dynamic. Like I'd say it manifests very differently for Loius The Father vs Louis The Husband, but I do also think it's there with all of them, and when it's a need he can't meet whether that be growing up, or romantic love, or mental health, or healing a trauma, he denies it until he's forced to face it, and then he usually resents them for it.

I think his love for Claudia is in a lot of ways a really intense version of that specifically because she is his daughter, and the idea that he can't provide what she needs or be all the love that she needs or truly protect her is elevated by the nature of that specific dynamic. It's all fed by paternal guilt and parental ownership and the idea that by the simple fact of being his daughter, she's both his reflection and his responsibility no matter how old she gets, or how much she wants to change their roles.

[v0rd1g4n]

The Thundermans Return - Review

All right, as I already stated in Part 1, I really liked the movie. It was great how fast it got released, after they officially announced it back in 2023, less than a year later. I could even enjoy it with the mexican spanish dub (with the same voice actors and everything), as soon as it was available on Paramount+, which by the way was awesome.

However, I think they had a few problems to work with all these characters in the same story, and this is what I think...

The art of nerfing

From time to time, they seem to be forced to nerf their powers for the story to go on and putting about 15 characters with superpowers in a movie like this, quite frankly, is not an easy task. We would expect to see the twins stronger and experienced than ever and probably they are, but its more likely that they tried to balance things up.

I think this is like creating a Superman game, which by the way, is something people have been discussing for a while. You could try to make it perfectly accurate to how powerful he can get to be, which is practically a god, but this is just a lot to work with and that's why they need to nerf, either his superpowers or the city. Otherwise, the game would be boring.

All right, let's get to it. These are my thoughts...

Losing a lost battle

First of all, when the family go to stop Blue Flame, the Thundertwins didn't even use telekinesis against him. Only close range atacks like heat breath from a long distance, which has no sense. Especially for someone like Phoebe.

What about Max's gadgets? All we saw was the jetpack but none of his new inventions, maybe a repulsor gauntlet or something like that. I know the Thundermans were meant to fail on this save, but I just think it could've been better executed.

A lost opportunity

Also, when Max and Phoebe get caught by the V-Team, I would've liked to see an intense fight between them, maybe not as good as the one they have, later in the movie and then get defeated by a bad decision from one of the twins, for example.

Besides, they could've left a huge mess all around the headquarters, for President Kickbutt and her team to find and start to investigate the V-Team.

A missing fight

During the Thundermans house break in, again, it would have been cool to see a small fight before they show how Max and Phoebe were being tortured. Maybe even turning Dr. Colosso back into a human, to help them out or something.

The amount of destruction inside of the house with all those powers, would've been amazing. By the way, did you notice how Chloe walks out of the scene, right before the V-Team get in the house?

Prison break

Near the end of the movie, we learn that the V-Team had broken their parents out of prison, and again, a security camera shot of them taking a few guards down and breaking out of prison together, would've been enough for me.

We've only seen Metroburg Super Jail from the outside and the cells area, but that building looks massive. Also, did you see they forgot to add the Metrobug Superjail sign at the top of the building? This screenshot is from "Tunder In Paradise".

The band and the mothers hunter

Other things I would've liked to see, is Max and his band playing a song at Splatburger again and not only talking about rejoining the band. Maybe even having Gideon still dating Sarah, instead of trying to become the next Paul Finch, still obsessed with his friend's mother, I mean... come on dude, chill out! 🤣

Weird relationship

And of course, how could this be a Nickelodeon show/movie, without the mandatory awkward scene? Dr. Colosso, a grown ass man turned into a rabbit, had been using Max's old suit as a sooting blanket. It was funny though.

I think sometimes the writers jut forgot that Dr. Colosso was not a talking rabbit. Oh, and by the way... what happened to his son, Balfour? They didn't even mention him.

Interesting origin but bad executed

And last but not least important, I'd like to talk about the reason I said in Part 1, that the Power Plant was a terrible idea.

But don't get me wrong. The origin of superpowers was interesting, but if Hank and Barb had this source of powers at home all along, then why didn't they use the blue seeds to go stop Dark Mayhem after Max took their powers away with the power-sapping orb?

Obviously, this was years before the movie came out, but still, it kind of ruins the moment, now that I look back and know what was really there.

Budget and filming

Now, I don't know if the budget was pretty low for the movie to last only 1 hour and 10 minutes or if it was filmed in a short span, but maybe that's what happened, because I remember people saying the filming was over in less than a month, so that may be the reason we didn't get to see more cool stuff, but I don't know.

I'm just speculating.

Music

As for the music, I gotta say I really liked it, except for the V-Team's song. It was funny, but not my thing. The new version of the theme song played during the closing credits, was so cool and I don't know if you're gonna be with me on this, but the song we could hear during the final battle against Dark Mayhem, was great.

I even turned on the subtitles while writing this and look what it says in the background. Damn! I thought the movie was for kids 🤣

VFX

And finally the VFX. I did have in mind that the movie was family friendly, so the special effects we see during the entire movie, are practically an improved version of the ones we've previously seen on the TV Show, which is cool most of the time, but sometimes... it doesn't.

Thundercest

Did you really think I wasn't gonna talk about Thundercest here? Well, guess again. It would've been awesome to have another big hug between Max and Phoebe, just like the one we saw in "Thunder in Paradise", but we can't have everything, right?

It's weird, because Max and Phoebe share a lot of screen time together, but something feels different than the tv show vibes. Don't you think? Anyway, here's a couple pics of them together.

Errors

I wasn't sure if I should share these two errors I found while writing Part 1 and Part 2 because this is not a movie rant, but it's kind of funny now that I think about it. So here they are:

Did you notice how they changed She-Crab's claw from one arm to the other?

Or how Phoebe's footage was duplicated while blowing freeze breath at Dark Mayhem Jr.?

And as Forrest Gump would say: “That's all I have to say about that”.

Colosso, the skater

Oh, wait. I almost forgot... All of the promos and posters had a small picture of Dr. Colosso on a skateboard. Is a deleted scene or something? I guess we'll never know.

Look at that. I wanna see Dr. Colosso performing a few tricks on a skateboard.

#SpingarnCut

Ranking

All right, I rank this movie 8/10.

And this is it, guys. I hope I'm not forgetting something important. I've been writing Part 2 and this post for the last three days, so please tell me what you think about the movie, about my review and if you'd like to see more of The Thundermans soon.

How would you rank the movie?

Let me know all your comments.

[huntedspy2]

hello and welcome to my "why I love autistic Spy headcanon and why it makes sense to me" post. A lot of this is going off of fanon representations but I try to go off of canon as much as possible :)

I know people don't think of him as autistic because he's a spy! He has to be good at social situations and reading body language and etc etc. But I don't think this should disprove him as being autistic because these are the same reasons heavily masking autistic people are dismissed as well. There's many testimonies of autistic people who say that they knew there was something different about them in terms of the way they could communicate with others, so they would practice and learn how to communicate with scripts or by copying other people. I think this can be applied to Spy and it makes a lot of sense especially because of his career.

I think it's much more interesting to think of him as someone that's intensively studied how to communicate with others because of being autistic, and perhaps from the pressure of others in his childhood and teen years (parents, teachers, peers). He knows exactly how to say the right thing and when because of endless practicing, not because it comes naturally to him. Perhaps social behavior, communication, and psychology became special interests to him because of this.

Because of heavily masking however, I feel like he also has identity issues with some dissociation mixed in there. Where does his masked self begin and where does it end? I feel like he truly never feels like himself, always playing a role for other people. Always switching the scripts in his mind depending on who he's talking to. He has given himself over to being a spy and becoming so good at what he does that he never has a moment to be himself. He never has a moment to figure out who he even is, and man is it exhausting.

I would imagine that he never talks to people about himself either. Perhaps this was something else he learned from when he was younger, to not bother others about his interests or thoughts. Or maybe he feels vulnerable from it. Maybe even both. Sure he could talk about wine with others, but he would never share the fact he's really into a novel series a little too much.

However, I feel like working with the mercs is something that helps him start to unmask. Working with 8 others who are all crazy in some way (and also neurodivergent in my opinion)? That's gotta chip away at his mask. He quickly realizes that a lot of the skills he's learned along the way to fit in aren't quite working with his coworkers. He starts stimming again (for example, flipping his butterfly knife repeatedly). He's less exhausted in social situations because now he doesn't have to carefully choose what to say all the time. He can remove himself from social situations easily now without having to explain or say farewells (imagine how much of a gift his watch is now that he can simply Disappear and get away from people!). Those domination lines in game where he mocks people? He can finally let loose and be mean and silly because he no longer has to worry about if someone likes him or not!

Spy is always depicted as a private person who likes to keep to himself. He has his own private and dedicated smoking room?? Hello???? I could say so much more but it's so hard to put all my thoughts into words.

I also wanna highlight some specific examples from the comics that I thought were noteworthy :)

Spy infodumping! I know this can be interpreted as him being frustrated and "of course he knows the specific details of his suit, he's rich and rich people are just like that!" but. In my heart I know it's More Than That.

Also these panels stuck out to me because of Spy's bluntness here. This isn't him trying to be cruel or anything, he literally just doesn't realize him being matter-of-fact is gonna upset Ms. Pauling. I also think it's interesting how he handles her crying as it shows that he's not good at being vulnerable or emotional with others, and keep in mind that he's friends with Ms. Pauling too. This is supported by the fact that in order to express his pride to a dying Scout, he has to disguise himself as Tom Jones. Even in an important moment Spy has to use a disguise as a buffer between his feelings and his true self. Or maybe he's unable to identify his true feelings unless he's in the headspace of another person.

ok that's it for now, I feel like I lost a lot of my thoughts about this in the process and I know for sure that I haven't shared all my thoughts because I feel like this is too headcanon-y as it is or didn't know where to fit things, but yeah Spy is autistic too :)

[crybabyddl]

Just finished my rewatch of jatp. My perfrct track record of not crying during Unsaid Emily remains untouched. I will say though, I was very close to shedding a tear this time. However, I didn’t even cry during Stand Tall! I always cry during Stand Tall!

Anyways, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the headcanons and theories that us tumblr fantoms created and the little easter eggs we discovered while watching and rewatching the series. It makes me really appreciative of the fact that we had a sense of community during a time where a lot of us were alone, scared, and uninspired. Just like Julie, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and hope. I think that a lot of people felt the same after watching the show. Julie and the Phantoms is what inspired me to learn the piano, the ukulele, and it led me to getting a guitar. When I learned how to play the chords for the soundtrack, I was playing those songs nonstop. It really helped me brave through the unsure feelings that came along with the pandemic. It made me forget my fears about the future.

I don’t feel as hopeful about things as I did back then, but JATP will always be a land-marking point in my life. It represents newfound joy, reignited passion, and abundant vivacity. As someone who loves and is extremely passionate about music, this silly little netflix show really hit me in the most sensitive places. And while I remember having a bout of serious depression after finishing the series, (along with intense rage that while I was dealing with my depression at its lowest point, the cast of jatp was living what felt like my dream) the lessons I learned from the show were far more significant. It literally brought music back into my life, no joke.

The friends I made because of JATP will always have a special place in my heart. A lot of them don’t use tumblr anymore, and I don’t use it nearly as much as I used to, but I’m still so grateful to have been introduced to such kind, accepting, and funny people. The stories, theories, headcanons, fanfictions, moodboards, inside jokes, memes, and fanart we created will always be remembered and cherished. I’m still pro-cheesecake, I’m still highly allergic to sleeves, and every time I see an unnecessary or fake zipper, I think of my fellow tumblr fantoms.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly “get over” Julie and the Phantoms. It was the first thing that truly resonated with my spirit as a new adult. I was 19 and had dropped out of college, feeling completely lost and like I had nothing going for me. Going into lockdown because of the pandemic didn’t help with any of that, and I was aimlessly, endlessly scrolling on social media, hoping to find meaning and purpose. And one day, my friend posted a clip on snapchat of what she was watching on netflix. The guy was cute and it looked like him and the girl he was next to had a nice connection so I asked what show it was. That’s how I discovered JATP, almost 2 weeks after its release. I also just have an unhealthy attachment to the show and the characters so I refuse to let this media that speaks to my soul die.

All that being said, we really deserved another season. I think it would cure me entirely, if I’m being honest. Even if it was just a little Christmas special where they decorate a tree and do those mini stories like filler episodes of a cartoon series. Hell, I’d settle for an animated JATP episode. I just think we all deserve it after what we’ve been through not only as a fandom, but as human beings. I will never forgive netflix for it’s terrible job at promoting, because they only failed when it came to this show specifically. They managed to keep every other show, even ones far less deserving of acclaim and attention, afloat during and after the pandemic. The only reason JATP managed to get anywhere was solely the cast, creators, and fans. Paul Becker was on fucking overdrive, churning out BTS videos WEEKLY. Fanfiction writers were bursting at the seams with multi-chapter series and one shots about every possible scenario. We got things trending on twitter during the two most chronically online years. Fanart was being shared like crazy, and we had the instagram fantoms so confused by the memes that they retaliated and claimed they were superior.

Meanwhile, tumblr was in its shadowbanning era, and fantoms were in the TRENCHES trying to get their content to reach beyond mutuals and taglists. We received barely any appreciation, except for when we trended on twitter asking to renew jatp and on tumblr for jatp appreciation week. Let’s not forget when we thought Owen had a secret tumblr and we all started accusing each other of being him. I will never forget when we all rallied to get Madi to 1 million followers because we didn’t want her to become overshadowed by the boys and all the attention they were getting. We all watched their instagram lives and I will always love the tumblr fantoms who made gifs of the cutest moments from those. Everyone saw me shamelessly simp over Charlie with facial hair wearing a santa onesie. We created a whole Carrie redemption arc out of thin air, we created origin stories for Rose and the Petal Pushers, and we forced the creators of JATP to give us the official last names of Reggie, Alex, and Flynn (This adventure SPECIFICALLY!!!) We were ruthless in our efforts to uncover their last names. We used breadcrumbs to make theories and speculations, only to end up begging in every comment section and dm inbox we could to get Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, and eventually—though much, much later—Flynn Taylor. We gave Willie more crop tops, we basically storyboarded a second season, complete with episode titles and songs! We uncovered the Sunset Curve EP using the grainiest photos in existence, we created a loose timeline surrounding everyone’s birthdays, deaths, and significant events. We orchestrated a fucking CONCERT TOUR for this band. Oh, and let’s not forget when Kenny and the boys went to Hawaii. That Hawaii trip was so eventful for the fantoms, you have no idea how serious I’m being unless you were there for it. That was something unlike anything else for so many reasons. There’s a lot more, but that’s the stuff that came to mind immediately.

[randomvarious]

Underworld - "Born Slippy" Essential Selection, Volume One by Fatboy Slim & Paul Oakenfold Song released in 1996. Mix released in 2000. Techno / Experimental

Plays: N/A on Spotify // 84.3K+ on YouTube

If you're someone who at least dabbles in electronic and dance music from time to time, then you absolutely *must* know the utterly strange and totally unique enigma that is Underworld's "Born Slippy." This is a tune that, against all odds, somehow managed to totally captivate the UK public in the mid-90s, reaching #2 on the country's singles chart, while also serving as the theme song to the Scotland-set Danny Boyle-directed film, Trainspotting. Plus, as what's likely to be the most popular techno song ever made, it's also probably the only piece of techno to ever so thoroughly penetrate the 'hip' and 'alternative' English-speaking music cognoscenti of the western hemisphere as well.

Now, there's a lot I could say about this provocative, mid-90s defining work of art, but I think the best way to describe it is thusly: essentially, there are two distinct, yin-and-yang modes to "Born Slippy." One is heaven, which consists of some iconically euphoric synth work and no drums, and the other is just pure fucking chaos, which chiefly contains hard and intense bouts of totally bugged-out and pummeling percussion 😵. And throughout both modes, Karl Hyde provides this mantric, barely sensical, partially improvised, and completely intoxicated stream-of-conscious narrative that seems to maybe be describing a very long and eventful night out. But a very important thing to remember with the studio version of this song in particular is that the two modes that are contained within it don't really overlap with one another; that is to say, outside of like, two small seconds, the synth melody that opens up the song and then returns somewhere in the middle doesn't touch any drums at all, and it's not until much, much later in the fullest version of this more than eleven-and-a-half-minute epic that you'll actually hear any sort of synth in a chaotic part, and those synths that do eventually manifest in one of those parts don't sound anything like the one that soothes in the beginning anyway.

But guess who went and totally fucked up this whole arrangement almost a full quarter-century ago? Fatboy Slim. Back in 2000, he and another piece of dance music's Mount Rushmore, Paul Oakenfold, put out a double-disc double-mix called Essential Selection, Volume One, and while Oakey's sublime trance set totally outshined Fatboy's less-than-stellar big beat and breaks sesh, there was still a three-song run nestled within Fatboy's set that was pretty damn killer, and it consisted of the following tunes, which were all pretty popular in the UK at the time:

Scanty Sandwich's "Because of You," a big beat banger that samples a young Michael Jackson and sounds like something that Fatboy Slim might've *cooked* up himself 😅;

"Born Slippy";

And my favorite downtempo track of all time, the Groove Armada classic, "At the River," which samples an old Patti Page tune and comes with some soul-piercing trombone on it too 😌.

So if you haven't clicked play at the top of this post, or you still haven't figured it out yet, what Fatboy Slim did with this section of his mix is he paired those heavenly synths from "Born Slippy" with the chugging snare-end of "Because of You," giving the opening part of this Underworld classic a great dimension of bounciness that it hadn't really had before. Fatboy raises the BPM on "Born Slippy" to make it match to those drums—and he's ticked those up a tad as well—and then after fading out of the Scanty Sandwich track and fucking around with the effects, he waits until a stacked-up drum part from "Born Slippy" arrives, in order to completely and effectively counterbalance it with the opening bars from the maximally relaxational "At the River," which had never had that level of percussion intermingle with it before either.

Fatboy Slim's probably not the greatest DJ in the world, but what he did with this mass-appealing trio of UK electronic tunes on this otherwise underwhelming mix of his from all the way back at the turn of the millennium definitely deserves more credit and attention than it's received over the years. Pretty nifty little section here, I think, with two great songs bleeding into and out of one of the most remarkable tracks of the entire 90s, "Born Slippy" 😋.

[noblehcart]

Guess who's baack? Its me with a new take on things and tired of running my blog the way I was. SO FIRSTLY, thank you all so much to those who commented and liked my hiatus post 💕💕 I felt so terribly horrifically alone, scared and felt like I was just spiraling into i don't know what and all of the lovely comments and likes on that post helped me immeasurably so thank you all.

I want to give an especially big shout out to @myhiraeth, @leadtohell & @lordofthestrix for reaching out even further to make sure i was okay even after that post because I was just in a seriously bad place and because these lovely people were continually checking in on me. These three I consider my closest friends and phenomenal writers so please go check out their blogs and hit up the muns because they're truly some of the loveliest nicest people on the site.

As for this blog there will be some shifting, deleting and change ups. I will be closing ranks a bit more, especially around to those that did reach out in some manner of way to check on me. Something I realized over this time is that I write best with friends and friends who write back with me. I get not everyone has time to write and be on tumblr, that is not what i mean by writing, I mean simply conversing with me. As I've said before I don't need you to actually thread with me just...talk with me. Plot with me. Tell me about your day. Talk with me about whatever crossed your mind. I write best with friends I trust and who trust me. It does not mean communication has to be on the daily, its whatever generalized communication we set it up as or whenever something pops into mind, but that's how I write and that's how I write best. Me being on this site is getting increasingly difficult and so I am trying my damnedest to stay on, but I can only do so in the company of friends. Friends who check in on each other and write with each other and think of each other and their muses. That's the environment I want to cultivate during my time on here.

I still have an insane IRL going on that is intensely private so that means my time is also hectic, but I am the kind of friend who will try to check in on you and think of you and your muses if you are close to me. However that interest will diminish and drop the less and less I see invested into me as well. I am no longer the sit and wait friend, I am the 'im as invested in you as you are in me' and therefore whatever writing experience you want to cultivate with me requires involvement. I may lose 'friends' or followers and that is fine. I completely understand, but this shift of life that I'm experiencing has brought me to this point of exhaustion of always being the friend who stays and waits. If you want to come write with me then please come write with me and if not that is entirely fine.

But I want my writing partners to be my friends and for the large part most of you ARE my friends because that is what truly develops the best plots, writing and fun and why I love being here with you all.

TO DO LIST:

delete majority of drafts (i need a fresh start with the upcoming year)

unfollow people ( a lot of inactive or people who i dont write with)

revamp old characters (luka mikhailov; i'm tired of letting him sit in the wings)

remove muses (Inej Gh.afa, gleb vag.anov, Dr. Henry Mo.rgan, Chri.stine Chapel , Christi.ne Da.ae , Farazeneh Shir-Del, Gabby Christ.ensen, Ana Mcclain, Paul Chauv.elin, Cassian, Gwyn Ber.dara, J.ason Todd, Nest.a Arc.heron, Ela.in Arche.ron )

add new muses (iris winnow, etienne ainsworth, esme lennox)

create new sideblogs for specific muses (Inej ghafa, gleb vaganov, the ivanovs?)

new mumu blog to be decided?

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

could you explain more your posts about why taylor fans would have a hard time in paul mccartney fandom? is it like saying the public doesn’t allow artists to try on different genres or grow artistically? and then I wasn’t sure if your post about eras v. album aesthetic was similarly related. i don’t follow swiftie tumblr discourse but am interested in paul/beatles things and why you make this comparison. i think we all naturally connect two things we have interest in and have thought a lot about and care about so this isn’t saying i don’t see the connection but just would like to understand it better from your pov.

Hi!

So, a lot of Taylor fans have a very intense connection to not only her music but her entire public image and a lot of them have been fans for a while. Now, for a long time, Taylor's album cycles were accompanied by "eras", which were underpinned not only by the general musical style of the album but also the aesthetic of her music videos, the imagery she used on tour, and the way she dressed, both on and off stage. (this makes it very easy to date pictures of her throughout the 2010s, for instance) You probably know this, because it's what the whole gimmick of her current tour is based around.

However, in recent years, as she's been undertaking her album rerecordings while simultaneously putting out new music and also touring, these eras have become less pronounced (the two new albums do still have dedicated sets on her tour, but the amount of album-related promo material is objectively less than it was in the past).

I was prompted to post that because I saw someone speculating that the two latest albums weren't as popular among fans (I don't know how true that is off tumblr tbh) specifically because they didn't have proper eras attached to them, which made them feel less immersive. Funnily enough, I find the imagery on her last album super fun and not necessarily requiring more than the one music video we got (which was visually stunning imo) and the tour imagery (ditto). Anyways, the post was quite openly stating that the way Taylor used to go about her album cycles was better and the reason people became a fan.

I drew the comparison to Paul because he's an artist who's often had to majorly pivot from what he'd previously been doing, most notably due to the breakup of his band, among other things (quitting touring for years multiple times, changing genres and collaborators, etc.). Taylor is in my opinion an artist who dedicates an enormous amount of her artistry to things fans generally want (Paul has been doing this too, but not a ton pre-'90s) and I'm just always surprised to see how… closed off many of her fans can be to her changing things around in any way. And I feel like Paul is a big example of an artist who would be deeply unappealing to someone with those standards, which to me seem limiting, even if I technically would enjoy more music videos and album promo.

My other point was because this post seemed to specifically say that Taylor is an album artist (true) and thus these eras are necessary and like……… no? An album is an album. It's fair to like every aspect of an "era" but then call her that – an era artist. Only the tour concept makes me wonder a lot if she's maybe a little bit done with the confinedness of that format.

[dangerousdispositions]

➪ GRAHAM BAEHR

if you’re hearing MURDER AT THE BINGO HALL by AMIGO THE DEVIL playing, you have to know GRAHAM BAEHR (HE/HIM; CIS MALE) is near by! the 28 year old MECHANIC at CAPSTONE AUTO & ODD- JOB HANDYMAN has been in town for, like, TWO AND A HALF YEARS. he's known to be quite INTENSE, but being TENDER- HEARTED seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that he resembles PAUL MESCAL. personally, i’d love to know more about him seeing as how he's got those EATING CANNED FOOD RIGHT OUT OF THE TIN, ALWAYS COVERED IN BANDAIDS, CARDSHARK, FEEDING AN ENTIRE FAMILY OF RACCOONS, LAUNDRY STREWN ABOUT, DISASTER GAY vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around BRIGHTSIDE long enough!

name: graham baehr

age: 28

d.o.b. & sign: june 9th, gemini.

occupation: mechanic at capstone auto, odd- job handyman & jack of all trades.

hometown: las vegas

gender identity & sexuality: cis male, pansexual, demiromantic.

relationship status: single, not looking but open to no- strings attached situations.

likes: microwave meals, easy money, animals, kids, zoning out to chill shows (like gbbo).

dislikes: nosy people, loud and sudden noises, casual physical touch without consent, cleaning, early mornings.

CWs for gambling, parental neglect/abandonment.

Up until the age of seven, things were fine. Well, Graham's Ma was gone more often than not... and if he wanted to eat most days he had to nick something from one convenience store or another, and sometimes she went weeks without coming home, but... still. It was fine. He was street wise and he knew the little slice of Vegas they lived in like the back of his hand and sometimes people let him wash their windows or car to get enough change to take to the laundromat. He was a big boy, like Mama was always sayin', and he could take care of himself.

His seventh year saw his Ma telling him to stay put outside the front doors of a Wal- Mart while she ran in to get a few things. A couple hours later, as the store was closing, when security was patrolling and found this tired, scared (he wasn't scared, he never got scared) kid still waiting outside, that's when things started going wrong.

He never saw his mother again. From there, Graham became one of those kids bounced around the system from one foster family to the next and then, as he grew older, group homes and shelters. Somewhere along the way, that sweet kid got buried. Pressure formed armor made of detached, self- serving coldness. The world he lived in, you had to look out for yourself, because no one else was going to.

Graham turned scrappy. Innovative became conniving. His baby- face worked against him when he first started trying to sneak in to the various casinos around the strip with fake IDs, but some of the less reputable places either didn't care or overlooked it, and once he was in... that was a turning point.

The rich fucks on vacation proved to be perfect prey. He ran a circuit of the places he could sneak in to, counting cards, picking pockets if he got desperate enough. He was seventeen when he finally got scouted by a less- than- scrupulous Casino Owner looking to keep some of the funds thrown around 'in the family', so to speak, and the rest was history. Not that he had much of a choice. He got the idea that if his behavior didn't start benefitting the right pockets, his luck just might start runnin' out.

His new job wasn't bad. A lot of the time it involved working the tables, and honestly, the fact that it came with a little protection and a place to crash most nights was a bonus. Little by little his new boss started asking more and more of him. Little favors, like give this person a message, or keep an eye on so and so, or take this package to this specific location at this specific time. Graham wasn't stupid.

...Okay, so he was a little stupid. But honestly, he was so quick with his fingers, a poker face to die for, he was cunning and quick and exuded the kind of confidence nobody questioned. Until he was twenty- two and he dipped his toes in the pool at an unfamiliar venue, and slipped up his third time joining them. Until they did question it. Then? Then Graham found himself getting the hell out of dodge. He ran. Truthfully, he's lucky his ass didn't get killed then and there, but he slipped past the (rightfully) pissed bigwigs and took to the streets he'd been haunting all his life. They knew his name. When he stopped by his shabby apartment, judging by a shiny, too- expensive- for- that- complex unfamiliar vehicle idling outside, they knew where he lived, too. A gut feeling told him if he went upstairs he wouldn't leave the complex alive, not that that was rocket science. He ran, and he didn't really quit running for a very long time.

The paranoia got to him. Frankly, he hasn't shaken it yet, even if a couple of years have passed since then. Some part of him is always looking over his shoulder, even if his travels have taken him far from his hometown.

Hemlock Springs is the first place he's stayed put in for a noteworthy length of time and he's been trying so very hard to keep his head down and stay out of trouble. At his core, he is a very jaded person, but he is achingly lonely and some (very deeply buried) part of him is hoping that maybe this will prove to be a chance for him to finally set down roots and maybe carve a place in the world where he actually belongs.

[disneymbti]

Annie Wilkes and Paul Sheldon from Misery, their big threes and personality types

Hi there, sweetie! I really hope you like this a lot!

Annie Wilkes' MBTI Type, Big Three and Enneagram Type

MBTI Type: ISFJ [The Defender]

ISFJ types need time alone to re-energize. They are self-sufficient and independent thinkers.

They are very observant and prefer to focus on the details of every situation. They listen to and follow past experience and present understandings.

Guardians prioritize the emotional needs of others. They make decisions based on what feels right, rather than what might make most logical sense.

They also prefer structure and organization, tending to follow rules and processes to an end goal. They are responsible and have a strong work ethic.

Big Three: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon and Cancer Rising

Scorpio Sun: Ruled by Mars and Pluto, the Scorpio Sun is known to be intense, mysterious, and ever-evolving. 

Pisces Moon: Pisces Moons are hyper-attuned to the needs and emotions of others. They're likely to predict what's on your mind before you even say it.

Cancer Rising: Cancer ascendants tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves and take care of those they love.

Enneagram Type: 2w1 [The Companion]

Basic Fear: Enneagram type two-wing-ones fear being unwanted by those they love. They tend to take on a caretaker role to serve others and avoid feelings of insecurity.

Basic Desire: They desire love and acceptance above all else. They are service-oriented and humble, seeking to help better the lives of those in their community.

Companions tend to stifle and repress their negative emotions and personal desires. They may feel internally conflicted as they work to meet everyone else’s needs but their own.

Paul Sheldon's MBTI Type, Big Three and Enneagram Type

MBTI Type: ISTP [The Virtuoso]

Virtuosos are generally more reserved and prefer being alone. They are self-sufficient and independent thinkers.

They are very observant and focus on the details of a situation, trusting facts and making decisions based on the here-and-now.

ISTP types favor logic and reason over emotional influences. They base their decisions on what makes sense.

They are also spontaneous and prefer keeping their options open. Virtuosos are often more adaptable and less aware of time.

Big Three: Libra Sun, Virgo Moon and Capricorn Rising

Libra Sun: Libra is ruled by the airy part of Venus, making them bon vivants, critical, and artistic — as well as forever stylish.

Virgo Moon: Virgo Moons use their calm nature to gain deep clarity on matters, filtering questions through their kind, but reasonable, lens.

Capricorn Rising: Capricorn ascendants are known for their efforts and diligence when it comes to attaining success and prosperity. 

Enneagram Type: 9w8 [The Advisor]

Basic Fear: Nine wing eights are afraid of being separated from the world. They avoid this by preventing conflict; however, their eight wing also encourages them to be assertive, which can create an internal tension.

Basic Desire: Their basic desire is to be internally balanced. They seek to be at peace with themselves and others.

Advisors defend themselves by numbing their negative emotions through routine and repetitive patterns. They avoid facing their own internal struggles by distracting themselves in this way.

[meteormoss]

hello!!! so your fic he curtains pulled out of the wall got me into the stick season album and my brain chemistry is forever changed

anyways do you have any like?? specific song associations for chapters or characters?

This ask is harder than you think to answer. My actual answer I'm going to keep just to Stick Season songs (+1 other noah kahan song because its too perfect) but the playlists feature some other songs. I'm going to link them at the end, feel free to give them a listen or look. Dirt roads earned all these empty scars playlist is still a WIP tho

The very last chapter of the curtains pulled out of the wall (and im thinking the 2nd chapter of dirt roads earned all these empth scars) is heavily inspired by The View Between Villages. Specifically the transition of feelings, but i referenced it as well with how he sits in his car. This song specifically makes me oh so ill, and i think it means a lot to the entire story.

New perspective is more of a characterization of the town and cleo and the relarionship (mostly with cleo tho) through bdubs' eyes, but it's not quite on the nose with it.

Stick season is straight up a bdubs song. Like literally everything in it heavily helped me characterize him. That is a bdubs song. Even if a lot of the characterization isn't directly discussed. (Oh, btw, for those of you who are curious, the season of the sticks is winter, cuz thats all you see, i didnt get it at first either)

Homesick just generally makes me think of the story abd enviorment, the very beginning lyrics are of course a reference to cleo. "I got dreams but i cant make myself believe them, spend the rest of my life with what couldve been, and i will die in the house i grew up in, im home sick" is both bdubs and etho.

Come Over is a bit of the first chapter, a bit of enviorment, a bit of bdubs, a bit of desperation to not get left irrefutably alone. "Someday im gonna be somebody people want" should stick in your mind

All My Love is a lot of the very first chapters, especially from the pov of the curtains pulled out of the wall, very much less so for dirt roads earned all these empty scars and thats because of the differences of perspective. I cant even pull out a lyric to emphasive this because that whole chapter is so much this song. "Now i know your name but not who you are" is a really important line for both fics, and both povs, and all the characters. Its just one to remember.

Still is a lot of the thought going into writing the final chapter and thr funeral chapter. It didnt really go into the actual writings as intensely but i would confidently say it bled in. But for me personally those chapters and this song are intrisically tied.

Strawberry Wine is nostalgia for bdubs, its the reason he's not moved on as well. This is such a bdubs song. "We buried your bones in plywood" is such a complicated line theres a reason it's the series title. It's simultaneously a reference to the state of cleo and etho in this. Cleo is nothing but old pictures shoved in a wooden box in the attic, something buried in dust and anger. Inaccessible. Etho's literally got his bobes buried in a wooden box. He's dead, also entierly inaccessible.

Northern Attitude is the cleo song off of Stick Season. That's literally her. She built everything there and uprooted it too. She's realized she's callused and notably mean because of her original enviorment and it stands out where she is now. She reflects sometimes, but mostly she pushes it all off.

And then we come to the song that i need to mention because of how it explains Cleo. Paul Revere by Noah Kahan. This ones going to heavily inspire chapter 2 of her side of this, dirt roads earned all these empty scars. Chapter 2 is gonna be very similar to chapter 2 of the curtains pulled out of the wall, but the timings will be a bit off from each other, it'll be the heading to bdubs' that this song really represents. But it's also the cleo song ever. It characterizes the time before she left, when she left, and when she's been gone. It discusses how she hasnt moved on or let go, she just doesnt cling as bdubs does. Shes hurt and angry but she understands she doesnt need or want it and it's such a fight between forces inside her and it tears her up. "If I could leave I wouldve already left" is such an essential line to her character, shes physically removed, but pieces of her are still out there in the cold.

Sorry some of these are a little more broad than you asked, i just think they're just as essential. You have to understand the enviorment on a level to understand the characters.

[lollo-sw-br]

Idol Wing AU: Star 2: Super DREAM1ES!

CEO's office - MAX1M Entertainment

Choi Tae Ho, CEO of MAX1M Entertainment, seeing that the group already with three albums was not making profit as he hoped it would, he was now willing to boycott YUM1E and do anything to get him to disband.

But the problem would not be the easiest thing in the world, his right hand Lee Han Jin, did not want to end YUM1E in any way, because unlike the CEO, he believed in the success of YUM1E

- This group is lost! - said Tae Ho - has not won anything so far, considering that we promoted a single and two mini albums, no opportunity to go to MAMMA or Ighigayo and get in a good position

- TaeHo, you are being very impatient - said HanJin - hope that YUM1E will hit a lot

- Stop dreaming HanJin - said TaeHo - YUM1E will not make a hit level BTS and BLACKPINK, it's useless, it's not going to work! This group is not a hit like I expected, I don't see success in anything!

- If you don't see potential in the group, then I do! - Han Jin said - The YUM1E is going to hit whether you like it or not!

HanJin left the room leaving TaeHo alone and thoughtful, little did the Co-CEO know that his boss was planning to disband YUM1E.

- This group cannot continue, I will not let this little group tarnish my company's image - TaeHo said - YUM1E needs to put an end point, and I will be the one who will have the intense pleasure of doing that.

Main Hall - World Aircraft

The girls created the Fanpage (loveyum1e.ofc), in addition, the Super Wings girls spread YUM1E's songs all over the airport, either listening to the songs near other Super Wings to get them interested in the group, or performing dance covers of the choreography, most of the team (younger members) were already part of Fandom, while the veterans enjoyed the music and supported the group, being a senior fan, being less intense as the younger ones.

Jerome, Paul and those who love to dance learned the choreography, Jett, Flip, Crystal, Ellie, Dizzy and that more radical, they tried the movements and they remade scenes of the MVs, with Bello, Grand Albert, Poppa Wheels and others, like to reproduce the photos in the album, play the games that come with them (each one comes with a different game, according to the concept and theme of the concept, from a memory game, even a group deck, In addition to the clear, collectible cards in all albums, piquing the interest of collectors).

The World Airport was taken over by YUM1E, played the songs all the time, plus Random Dance Play competitions (YUM1E ver.), Waiting eagerly for the Fameetings and Fansing of the group, and waiting to be noticed by the group, and little did they know that just as they are DREAM1ES, the group members are WINGERS and wanted the same.

- Wait guys! - Said Astra - Comeback will come out now in April get ready!

- I'm so curious! - said Jett - I want to know what the concept is going to be? will it be a full album?

- Here's saying it's going to be a surprise - Sunny said

- Surprise? - said Donnie - this kills me with curiosity!

- From everybody Donnie - said Dizzy

- I hope Lollo and Flora get the spotlight they deserve - said Ellie

- Poor thing about our Bias - said Mira - they really deserved more attention

- Who knows girls - said Tino - Flora is also my bias

- Never lose hope - said Grand Albert - Lollo is my bias and I think it's unfair and what the company does to her.

- I agree - said Narae - let's wait for the Comeback and see what will happen

- Let's not give up - said Jett - the girls will stand out, I love Brighie, but the company thinks she, Vicky, Aria and Cherie are the only ones in the group, That's absurd.

- I agree! - all said

To be continued....

[denimbex1986]

'All Us Of Strangers might be one of the most moving films of the last decade. The film, which is based on the 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, follows a middle aged man named Adam who has a chance encounter with a mysterious neighbour, which punctures the rhythm of his everyday life.

As a new relationship develops between them, Adam is preoccupied with memories of the past and finds himself drawn back to the suburban town where he grew up.

To celebrate the release of the movie this weekend, we sat down with director Andrew Haigh to learn more about the making of All Us Of Strangers...

So, congratulations! I’m a big fan of your work including Looking and Weekend. In fact, I’ve indoctrinated so many people to Weekend, so I was very excited for this film.

Oh, thank you!

My first question is, I feel like there’s so many amazing elements to this movie, but one thing that really stands out is Andrew Scott’s performance. How did you go about casting him and what was it like working with him?

The minute I finished writing – I didn’t think about anybody as I was writing, I never do normally – I thought about Andrew. He was the first person we went to and he was the first person I really thought of. My gut said he would make sense as the character of Adam. You know, he’s of a certain age, and he understands growing up in that time, so that helps, but he’s also such a good actor. We obviously wanted that at the same time – someone who’s a really, really good actor and also really understands the role. Those two things were in perfect alignment with Andrew.

That definitely shines through. And did you learn anything interesting about your main cast from working with them? Any fun facts about Andrew, Paul, Claire or Jamie?

It’s funny, when you’re working on a film you definitely get to know each other in a very strange way. It’s an intense working period, and in your conversations with each other about character and such, some really personal stuff comes our – stuff about my life, stuff about Andrew’s life and everyone’s, really. You sort of get close, but I don’t know how well I know them as such, I just know a lot about elements of their lives.

Did any of them have any weird habits on set or anything?

Well, everybody’s got strange habits. That’s certainly not something I’ll share, and hopefully, they would never talk about my weird habits either! I feel more like a therapist on set sometimes, and the job is to work out when to step in and when to say something or not.

Speaking of “personal stuff”, was any part of Adam’s relationship with his parents based on your own experiences?

It’s less based upon my own experiences with my parents, although some of it is, and more about a generation of gay people who were coming into their sexuality at a certain time in the ’80s and ’90s. Most of us, if not all of us, experienced a similar feeling growing up in a very complicated time when it really was quite tough to be gay, and it certainly wasn’t easy to come out to anybody, let alone your parents. We’re talking about, you know, the height of AIDS and section 28 and homophobia being incredibly rife in the UK. It was a rough time for a lot of people.

I think it’s so different now, it’s changed so dramatically, but for a generation of people, we still remember what that felt like, it’s still there. We still feel it. Sometimes it can re-emerge and you feel suddenly triggered by something. So rather than it being like an autobiographical experience of me coming out to my parents, it’s about feeling what it was like to be gay at that time.

Absolutely. I mean, I’m a slightly later generation, but I think you’ve done such a good job of encoding that. The movie is also based on the book, of course, but the respective plots are very different. How and why did you diverge away from the plot of the novel?

I loved this idea of meeting your parents again, which is in the novel, but then it takes a very different direction. It turns into more of a traditional ghost story. The Harry character was not only a demonic spirit in the original story, but also a woman, so that was quite a fundamental shift. So it’s now a queer relationship, which changes how Adam relates to his family, I think. That central idea of going backwards in time in order to move forward is definitely still there though, which is what I think the novel is about.

I feel like you could’ve “gotten away with” not even mentioning the book, because they truly are so different. Did that ever cross your mind?

It’s funny, when I read the book again recently – actually, just before I started doing all this press – I realised that while so much is different, the story itself is very personal to that writer, he really made it his own, and in a similar way I did that with this film. I took his book and made it personal to me, but I’m still taking the core of what he did in that book. I feel like that can be the joy of adaptation. You take the truth of the original thing and you throw it up in the air and remix it and re-make it.

One thing I want to ask you about is the recent BAFTA nominations. The film has been nominated in quite a few categories, including casting, but Andrew didn’t received a nomination for Leading Actor. What are your thoughts on that?

I mean, I’m very sad and heartbroken for him. I think it’s tough. Like, clearly, all of the other nominations would not have happened if Andrew hadn’t been incredible in the film. It wouldn’t be nominated for a screenplay nomination if Andrew hadn’t been good. I wish he’d been nominated and it’s sad for us. But all of the nominations would not have existed without him, and it doesn’t change his performance, which I think is brilliant.

So many of the scenes are so intense to watch, which scene was most difficult for you to write or direct?

I guess the scenes with Adam’s parents – the ones back in the house when he speaks to his mum and his dad – they took a long time to write and get the tone right on. We had to make sure you weren’t hating his mum and dad in those situations and that you could sort of understand where they were coming from, but you could also understand the pain that was being resurrected in Adam at the same time.

So there was a lot going on and they weren’t easy scenes to shoot. They weren’t easy to watch either! When I was editing them, they were very challenging to watch. Obviously, it’s shot in my old house. So–

I’m sorry, it’s shot in your old house?

Yes, that’s my old house that I lived in when I was a kid. I haven’t lived there for 40 years. So it’s sort of like I’m watching, let’s say the scene of Adam and his dad in what was our old front room, they’re around the Christmas tree where we used to put our Christmas tree up. So there’s a lot of sort of strangeness within that for me.

Did you just rock up to the house and go, “do you mind if I film here?”

Yeah, pretty much.

That’s amazing. Well, speaking of that, are there any other sort of Easter eggs or random details in the movie that you left in hoping people would notice?

There’s always things. It’s more things from my personal life that only people I know will recognise, and I’m sure will mean nothing to other people, which is fine by me! I like the fact that there’s bits of me in there that people can decide whether or not are me.

I guess something like The Whitgift Centre would be one of those things, no? I actually used to live near there with an ex-boyfriend and we went over a few times. Why did you want to include that place and do you hope there’s an increase in visitation there after the film comes out?

I lived nearby when I was a kid and we would go there on the weekends. It felt like a glamorous place to go in the ’70s and ’80s, it was kind of like a version of the future. It felt so British that we live in these little places and the centres of our lives become these things that mean nothing in the scale of anything to anybody. The Whitgift Centre is not some glamorous location, but for Adam, as a kid, he loves going. Kids love going to weird places and I think those places become quite important in our lives. Even if it’s just a place you go on the weekend with your family.

At the start of the movie, I remember Andrew gets his kit off a lot – was that just because you wanted to see Andrew Scott naked? Because fair enough.

That’s funny. I think they both get more naked in the beginning of the film and then less naked later on. That makes sense in the scope of their relationship. Their intimacy develops throughout the story and sometimes that involves sexual intimacy, which usually you are naked for! But as they go on, while that’s still a part of their relationship, there’s also everything else that’s happening. So I feel like it sort of makes sense that they’re physically naked first, before they become emotionally naked.

Do you have a shot or scene you’re particularly proud of?

I kind of feel like every scene links to the next one, so all of them speak to the same kind of thing. I do like the scene when he gets in bed with his mum and talks to her, and then he leans over and his dad’s there. It’s all one shot, which is kind of nice, and the acting is so beautiful. It also goes from a little bit silly and humorous to being very heartfelt and sad, so I like how that scene develops, too.

I also like the first time that Adam is walking through the park and sees his dad. He feels him appear behind him, and turns around like they’re cruising or something. It’s sort of mysterious and strange and odd, kind of like you’re drifting off into a dream.

I completely agree. I mean, so much of it stuck in my head, but for some reason that bit really did. Because you do think it’s going to be one thing, and then it’s completely different. Now, I feel like I know what you’re going to say here, but what do you think is happening when Adam sees his parents? Is it really happening? Is he imagining it, or is it some sort of mental break?

I think you can read it in whatever way you want to. They could be actual ghosts that have reappeared, it could all be in his imagination. I mean, for me, I actually don’t know how much I care about what is the specific reality. All I know is that Adam has longed for this encounter so much that it has been brought into the ether, and whether it’s all in his mind or not, the important thing is that he’s desired this into existence.

That’s roughly what I thought you might say! In your career, you’ve worked with quite a few openly gay actors on some very queer-centric material. What’s your view on the debate about straight actors playing gay roles?

Look, I completely understand the debate; I think about the debate long and hard. I’d say it’s a very complicated argument. There are times when, absolutely, I think you should cast a gay actor in a gay role. I also think trans characters should be played by trans people. in those roles. I guess I’m not so dogmatic that it means it always has to be like that for gay roles. You just have to understand what the role is, and it makes a difference if the writer is gay or the director is gay. There’s a lot of gay people involved in the making of this film, for instance.

For Adam, I knew I wanted a gay actor to play it. There’s too much nuance and there’s too much stuff in there that I wanted to get across. But it’s not a hard-and-fast rule, it’s about what’s right for the role. Sometimes, it’s definitely right to cast a gay actor as a gay character, sometimes I think it’s less important.

Finally, I’d love to know what your favourite film of the moment is?

Probably Anatomy of a Fall. I loved Sandra Hüller’s performance in that, I think that’ll go down in history as one of the greatest ever.'