#patton likes to whittle

[hyperfixated-homo]

its almost midnight so you know what that means! random thoughts while i unconsciously panick over how tired i’m going to be tomorrow when i have to wake up at six again :D

today im thinking about love languages. more specifically, unconventional love languages that i hc the sides do! from the same people (complete lie but just roll with it) who brought you remus biting people to show affection, we bring you

virgil likes to pat/slap people. just. pat on the head. slap on the face (gently,,,must hit affectionately)

roman loves all love languages, but only in specific contexts. quality time, as long as he is fully aware of how much the other is enjoying it as well as he is (silent quality time is a big nono). physical touch BUT ONLY SOMETIMES!!! and sometimes, ONLY PHYSICAL TOUCH IF YOU DO NOT HUG HIM RIGHT NOW HE WILL CRY

janus squeezes. squeezy hugs. squeezy hand holding. sometimes its feels like hes trying to literally squeeze the life out of you (hes not, but he doesnt really understand his own strength)

is it possible for someone to be touch adverse but also touch starved. because that is logan and roman. ask them rn if they need a hug. god knows they wont tell you themselves-

patton is so gifts of service its like. stupid. nothing even belongs to him anymore. he has no concept of personal belonging. everything that is his is also everyone elses. must,,, gib everything,,,

janus, remus and virgil also headbutt people. just to check up on them. they dont rlly do like, words of affirmation or quality time. they communicate purely on physical touch and gifts sometimes. sometimes they engage in friendly headbutting battles

remus needs to spend all his time with the people he likes. all of it. just be with them all the time. even if its just pure silence, he needs to know somebody is there or else he will explode

oh also they have specific things for different people!!! like remus spends most of his time w/logan bc he’s the only other one who also needs to be around people a lot!! must of the time logan needs it to be quiet, but he still wants someone in the room

vi nd pat exchange many gifts. it started with the cards and now they make each other a bunch of handmade stuff too!!! like patton whittles figurines for virge and virge sews pat stuffed animals.

similarly, janus and patton exchange food. all types. just. gib meal. ily

honestly patton is the only one who rlly tells ppl that he loves them. nobody else rlly likes to say it out loud. it means so much when they do say it tho

virgil and roman obvs do the opposite of words of affirmation. they tell each other that they hate each other so that they know that they love each other.

the reason that logan and roman argue a lot is bc they don’t share love languages rlly. they have like, opposite cycles for needing/hating touch, which leads to some hurt feelings when one of them gets denied. they remedy this by spending at least one full day a week hanging out and doin things together

remus and virgil fight. so often. they wrestle a lot. it means that they’re having a good day

janus is very smoochy. did i mention that. did i mention that that one college projection au by haysgrove made me obsessed with that hc. yeah he’s a kissy boy. the others never really mind, they know it’s just a thing he does (nd he always asks first!!!)

[elixirvitae]

Hello! If you do them, could I have some general Alu personality headcanons please? Thank you! Feel free to ignore this otherwise.

Sure! When I started on this, I realized I have so many thoughts I didn't really know where to start or what to include, so if you want anything more particular or specific, please let me know! The first portion references the Myers-Briggs typology assessment, which breaks down individuals' hard-wiring and how they behave and interact with the world around them. There are 16 results and obviously people (and 500 year old vampires) can't be entirely defined by such a simple tool. And as always, my interpretation is mine, and any disagreements are totally valid.

ISTP: Introverted, Sensory, Thinking, Perceptive

Introversion is how Alucard presents himself. He is relatively reserved and collected as an individual when he isn’t manic in combat. In the manga particularly other characters tend to find him alone, and while I certainly wouldn’t say he’s uncomfortable in groups, he seems to be most at ease when he’s alone (like binge eating and falling asleep in his chair like a Dad) or among the two people he’s closest to, being Integra and Walter. 

Sensory inclined individuals are more interested and best suited for dealing with things they can touch, see, smell, etc. Alucard isn’t very interested in pursuing data to process intuitively to form concepts and theories, he likes things he can put his hands or mouth on, or hear, or shoot. This usually means a person likes to work with their hands, and over the years he’s probably picked up some skills that allow him to tinker, or deconstruct and reconstruct. 

Thinking sits across from Feeling in the MBTI concept, and I think we can all agree that Alucard is not the best at processing feelings. He compartmentalizes until the dam breaks, and we see how well he handled Seras’ discomfort in Brazil. When yelling at her didn’t work and she started crying, he just shut down and turned away from her. He is more geared towards thinking and making assessments of things. In his human life, he was known to be a very gifted tactician, and despite being outnumbered on quite a few occasions, he managed to drive back his enemies and do some serious damage to them. 

He’s inclined more toward perception than judging, which are the two ends of the spectrum in the MBTI theory. This means he likes things open-ended and flexible. He’s not particularly interested in trying to whittle things down so that they fit into a simple box of understanding based on existing assessments of similar things; he finds spontaneity and chaos to be much more entertaining and he makes several comments about how humans’ unpredictable and chaotic nature keeps him engaged in a world he is otherwise weary of. 

Over the years he has become pretty variable in his tastes and moods. He seems perfectly in place drinking red wine from his own reserve, and other times he’s happy to knock back a cheap bottle of Jameson. We see him sitting in his penthouse suite grinning while recalling the charm of cheap hotels. 

In a similar vein,sometimes you’ll hear Chopin being played from the record player in the den in the middle of the night. Other nights you might hear Muddy Waters, or Vera Lynn, and then later that same evening Depeche Mode or Mike Patton or Queen from the stereo. But however broad his tastes are, when he doesn’t like something he will drag it for filth. 

Interestingly, he does not always mind small talk. It’s not particularly interesting, but it’s a skill he’s quite adept in, and it can be a creature comfort of sorts, given how much of his time he spends alone. He’d never admit it though.

Most of the time he’s pretty chill and collected, but with the right entertainment (or spirits) he can be excitable. It’s never over anything very healthy; it’s usually violence, chaos, or substances that get him riled up but he has a lot of fun. 

He’s a hedonist, and pretty consistently plays the role of the devil on people’s shoulder. He’s happy to entice people to loosen up and engage in vices. The exception (sometimes) is Integra, but he’s never the one to lecture her on doing the right or healthy thing (for example, he made a single initial comment when she started smoking but when she dismissed him he never mentioned it again and will occasionally smoke with her.

[boroughshq]

mw personalities and older faceclaims of color pls? <3

I would love to see some more social climber types, wannabe influencers trying to build a following and always trying to come up with the next big trend; anxious blabbermouths who can’t stop rambling anytime they’re nervous (which is often); the serial dater who is commitment phobic but always up for a good time; the sweethearts who are always willing to give people a second and third chance (even when they don’t deserve it & they probably shouldn’t); the fashionista budding fashion designer who is always drawing up sketches and wearing ultra chic & out there outfits; the late bloomer types who are experiencing their first adventures in romance/sexuality in their late 20s/early 30s; the second chancer older characters who have decided at the age of 30+ that they hate their life and are starting fresh at entry level positions in their new dream field or are back in school again after a decade+ being away; more single mom/dad types, more academics, more queer characters, and more cozy type characters like the ones you could rip right out of a hallmark movie.

As for older FCs, I’ll give you a wide range skewering 35/40+ here: Idris Elba, Gemma Chan, Carla Gugino, Sandra Oh, Ricky Whittle, Rutina Wesley, Sara Ramirez, America Ferrera, Steven Yeun, Tessa Thompson, Danai Gurira, Bianca Lawson, Kelly McCreary, Shemar Moore, Summer Bishil, Henry Golding, Manny Jacinto, Candice Patton, Issa Rae, Michael B. Jordan, Aubrey Plaza, Mike Colter, Constance Wu, John Cho, and Maggie Q! 

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

!!! For One Chance To Change Your Fate!! 3, 4 and 11?

YAY hi virgil!!

(for anyone curious abt this fic—check it out here!)

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

i REFUSE to choose only one, so here is the smallest number of favorites i could pick:

Patton’s heart thudded in his ears, his chest far too small to hold all of the feelings that were overflowing everywhere and he couldn’t quite tell if it was so much he’d gone numb or if it actually hurt like a knife to the chest. (ch5)

Had he thought about it every day, or had it been a passing whim to casually ruin the life of a man he’d never met and a child too small to tie their own shoes, just because he could? (ch6)

Because of that new, shitty emotion. It was one that felt like worms squirming in his stomach and eating him from the inside out, and it made him want to hide deep underground where nobody could watch him fill his lungs with dirt so the worms would get out and he could stop feeling them. (ch6)

The question lingered in the air between them, direct and challenging. Asking Logan to choose. Facts or feelings. Logic or Janus. He could never choose anything other than Janus. He was afraid to choose anything other than logic. (ch9)

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

again. here is the smallest number of favorites i was able to whittle it down to XD

“We do need to talk about how to get the twins to behave civilly to the contestants.” “Bribery,” Janus responded without hesitation. “Now kiss me.” (ch2)

Janus pursed their lips. “Darling, I need you to understand what’s more important: a silly little law that nobody cares about anyway, or me looking hot?” (ch4)

Patton crossed his arms. “That is not a nice reason, Jan.” “Unfortunately, I’m not a nice person,” Janus said breezily. (ch7)

The doorknob rattled, startling him, and Janus burst in. “Darling,” they sang out, “I’m going to commit fraud against the Crown! Do you want to help?” (ch9)

11: What do you like best about this fic?

aaaaaa i love the amount of worldbuilding i’ve done and the ocs i’ve created. also imagining + describing fun outfits for the twins to wear. and the banter/dialogue i think generally is really good in this fic.

but possibly my MOST favorite thing of all is just. loceit. both of them being incredibly self-absorbed people and kind of assholes and each with the most lavish extravagant taste and each convinced that they are more important than pretty much everyone else. they’re both so high maintenance and a little bit awful to be around akhjskdjhfsg

but then specifically in combination with all that, them just being head over heels ridiculously unconditionally devoted to each other. it’s so good. they’re probably about the only people who could stand each other in the long term and they are incredibly unaware of this fact and just absolutely hopelessly adoring of each other and i love them. (also them being horny for each other all the time is incredibly amusing to me lol.)

[ask me about my fanfics!!]

[greatfallstemp]

hi! i really love the idea of this rp, do you have any most wanted fcs? i can't find a page about that. any gender is fine, i'm really open to anyone but just can't decide on a fc so i would like to bring in a fc that you would be excited for!!

Hi, we're so happy you're excited! I made a post here about our most wanted fcs, but some others I forgot to include that we'd really love to see are Ricky Whittle, Candice Patton, Danny Pino, David Harbour, Jessica Lucas, Pedro Pascal, May Calamawy, and Deepika Padukone. But honestly — we will absolutely love anyone you bring to us!

-Admin Kate

[sir-stitchess]

Misc random headcanons

Every now and then, Remus starts speaking in the Stewie Griffin voice without realising it and doesn’t stop unless he’s told about it.

Virgil is really flexible, he’s dropped into the splits to avoid tackle hugs from Patton many times.

The only time Roman and Remus get along is from December 25th to December 31st. The moment the clock strikes midnight, they get in a fist fight.

Logan refuses to watch inside out with the other sides because “it’s a children’s film” but really, it’s cause he always cries at Bingbong’s death and can’t have them seeing that.

Virgil has many random skills that he picked up when he was bored at two am such as massaging, crocheting, and whittling.

Virgil can also sew. This one isn’t a random skill that he has, he enjoys sewing. He sewed the patches onto his hoodie.

Logan has incredible road rage and slips into a highly exaggerated English accent for literally no reason.

Remus likes to bake and gets so soft when Patton likes what he makes and will later squeal about it to Janus.

Every now and then, Remus gets tired from his own personality and needs to recharge for a day, either lying in bed, or shapeshifting into a rat and sleeping in Janus’ hat.

Logan has plants, so many plants, and he named them all after Greek gods.

Logan has a body pillow with no case that he hides under his bed when he’s not using it.

Janus kept Virgil’s old hoodie.

Logan is very passionate about the fact that every baby marsupial is called a Joey.

Roman and Janus are just very bitter exes.

Virgil low key misses Janus.

Roman sleeps with his sword by his side.

Remus gets absolutely pissed when someone calls his thing a mace (cause it’s technically a morning star, I’m totally not projecting).

Patton collects cabbage patch kids.

Virgil is very passionate about underrated dreamworks films.

[starry-knight-skies]

Last part to my Virgil plays guitar series (part 1, part 2)

Roman stopped trying to stay away. His resolve would only last, at most, two days, before he found himself back outside Virgil’s door, listening to the music he’d play. Sometimes he’d lean against the wall, only staying for a short while before heading back to his own room, feeling energized and ready to get his own work done. Other days, he’d settle down on the floor, and whittle away hours to the sweet melody. Some days he’d be able to pull himself up when the last notes fade and make his way back to his room, but more often than not, he’d end up falling asleep and only awaken hours later with a blanket that he most certainly hadn’t brought with him, tucked around him and keeping him warm in the chilly hallway.

The blanket was a soft baby blue, so Roman always assumed it was from Patton, and he would return it to him each morning with a quiet thanks. Patton would smile at him, even if there was a confused little tilt to his head, but it was offset by the smile on his face, and Roman would walk off with a spring in his step and a song in his head. 

A part of Roman wanted to talk to Virgil one day about his music, to work up the nerve and knock on his door. He stood there more than once, hand raised to do just that, but he couldn’t work up the nerve to make contact. What if Virgil thought he was being creepy? Or weird? Who spent night after night creeping outside their friend’s room to listen to them play guitar? Certainly not someone as refined as Roman!! Except that’s exactly what he was going, and he didn’t want to say something and risk rocking the boat on their very tentative friendship, where one wrong word could set them back. 

He knew he needed to say something, soon, and while he was debating with himself one night, settled down on the floor by Virgil’s door once again, when said door swung open. He hadn’t even noticed that the music had stopped, having been so caught up in his thoughts. Guilt and panic twisted in his chest as he slowly lifted his gaze to look up at the mismatched colors of Virgil’s and seeing... amusement?

“You know...” The sound of Virgil’s voice made Roman tense up, and he debated how fast he could book it back to his room. “It would be a lot more comfortable to listen if you would knock and come in.” He held a hand out, offering to help him up, and with a moment’s hesitation after seeing Virgil in his pajamas, he took his hand.

Roman sputtered (rather eloquently, if you ask him), letting himself be pulled up while trying to get his thoughts in order. “I was just.. um...  How.. How long have you known I was out here?”

Virgil gave a little half-shrug, taking a step back and giving Roman’s hand a little tug to pull him in to his room. “I figured it out about the third time you feel asleep out there.” He let go of Roman’s hand once he was in the room, moving to shut the door before making his way over to his bed.

Roman watched him drop down onto his bed, a rather familiar baby blue blanket bunched up near the pillows. “You don’t think it’s weird?” Worry that Virgil would be disgusted with him, and not want to be friends with him anymore, twisted in his chest. The tightness in his chest eased at the fond amusement on the other’s face.

“Nah.” Virgil huffed out a breath, patting the space on the bed next to him, indicating Roman should sit next to him. “I mean, I did wonder what you were doing, if you were plotting some prank.” He waited for Roman to sit before shifting to grab the guitar that he had leaning against the edge of the bed. “Then you started falling asleep and I realized you were coming by because you actually like the music I was playing and you were being uncharacteristically shy about telling me.”

Roman felt his shoulders drop, a weight being lifted at the look Virgil was giving him. “Guess there’s no fooling you huh.” He shifted his leg to bump their knees together playfully. “Yeah, I find your music to be rather enchanting. It’s been rather inspiring for me lately.”

“Yeah?” The corner of Virgil’s mouth twitched up and he situated the guitar in his lap. An eyebrow quirked up, a playful twinkle in his eye and fingers strumming along the chords, drying up any retort Roman may have had. He’d rather sit back and enjoy the music anyway, without a wall being in the way.

[chthonic-cassandra]

For @di-goldene-oygn and anyone else who would like it, have my trauma memoir reader. 

This is a long list, but it is whittled down from the ~250 trauma memoirs I have apparently read, so there are many, many things I did not include. I’ve organized loosely by what type of trauma is the focus of the narrative but this is an imperfect categorization system.

Memoirs of childhood abuse: The Tricky Part - Martin Moran Tiger, Tiger - Margaux Fragoso Where I Stopped - Martha Ramsey I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou That Mean Old Yesterday - Stacey Patton Excavation - Wendy Ortiz Skin and Two or Three Things I Know for Sure - Dorothy Allison Goja - Suniti Namjoshi Educated - Tara Westover A Shining Affliction - Annie G. Rogers Heavy - Kiese Laymon The Sound of Gravel - Ruth Wariner Man Alive - Thomas Page McBee The Book of Emma Reyes - Emma Reyes Bad Indians - Deborah A. Miranda The Incest Diary - Anonymous Denial - Jessica Stern Pulling the Chariot of the Sun - Shane McCrae Consent - Vanessa Springora Sex Cult Nun - Faith Jones

Memoirs of adult sexual assault and intimate partner violence: The Other Side - Lacy Johnson Days of a Russian Noblewoman (1758-1821) - Anna Labzina After Silence - Nancy Venable Raine Aftermath - Susan Brison Lucky - Alice Sebold In the Dream House - Carmen Maria Machado Picking Cotton: Our Memoir of Injustice and Redemption - Jennifer Thompson-Cannino and Ronald Cotton When I Hit You; Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife - Meena Kandasamy A History of Violence - Édouard Louis On Being Raped - Raymond Douglas South of Forgiveness - Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger Know My Name - Chanel Miller

Memoirs of abduction and captivity: Finding Me - Michelle Knight Hope - Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus A Stolen Life - Jaycee Dugard 3,096 Days in Captivity - Natascha Kampusch

Memoirs of genocide: At the Mind’s Limits - Jean Améry If This Is a Man, The Reawakening, The Drowned and the Saved - Primo Levi And I Am Afraid of My Dreams - Wanda Poltawska Auschwitz and After - Charlotte Delbo First They Killed My Father - Loung Ung Cockroaches - Scholastique Mukasonga The Last Girl - Nadia Murad Tears of the Desert - Halima Bashir

Memoirs of political violence (torture, detention, exile) and war: Guatánamo Diary - Mohamedou Ould Slahi Witnesses of the Unseen: Seven Years in Guatánamo - Lakhdar Boumediene and Mustafa Ait Idir Journal of an Ordinary Grief - Mahmoud Darwish A Woman in Berlin - Anonymous A Fort of Nine Towers - Qais Akbar Omar Daring to Drive - Manal Al-Sharif A Long Way Gone - Ismael Beah The Blindfold’s Eyes - Dianna Ortiz Asylum Denied - David Ngaruri Kenney Consequence - Eric Fair The Question - Henri Alleg The Little School - Alicia Partnoy Prisoner Without a Name, Cell Without a Number - Jacobo Timerman The Latehomecomer - Kao Kalia Yang

Memoirs of slavery and trafficking: The Interesting Narrative of Olaudo Equiano Twelve Years a Slave - Solomon Northrup Slave - Mende Nazer Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl - Harriet Jacobs My Life Has a Price - Tina Okpara Barracoon - Cudjo Lewis, transcribed by Zora Neale Hurston

Memoirs of gun violence and/or traumatic grief: Men We Reaped - Jesmyn Ward The Return - Hisham Matar Dear Marcus: A Letter to the Man Who Shot Me - Jerry McGill

[wastelandcrown]

all’s fair in fake love and gore

CHAPTER 1: (un)predictability

Summary: Roman and Patton have been dating for a while, and it’s fine. Remus doesn’t care. Unfortunately, it’s another excuse for his family to put Roman on a pedestal. Except that, through a turn of events nobody expected, Remus ends up pretending to be madly in love with his close friend Logan for his family’s holiday trip. Both parties are convinced nothing will happen between them. Roman and Patton, however, are terrible meddlers who believe in the power of love.

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Lightly tense family dynamics, Remus being Remus, OCs for family members (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: Listen-I hate the holidays but I live for this trope. I’ll try my hardest to do it justice and make it work. Name was suggested to me by the lovely @grayskiesrainyskies, thank you ma’am!!

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality, Creativitwins

Two hours. It’s just two more hours. He’s reasoning with himself against all odds, but the urge to slam his head against the dining table is palpable and he’s barely holding it together. Remus had always hated family dinners, he hadn’t even bothered going up until recently. Adulthood was messy. Family was messier. More accurately, Remus was the mess of the family. Roman and him had long since mended their relationship, they even hung around in the same circle! That only made it worse when Roman and their mutual friend Patton started dating. It’s not that he wasn’t happy for them, he was. Their fluffy, happy, fairy-tale romance was something out of some god damned Disney movie, and Remus was so happy someone put up with Roman’s hopeless romanticism. Except now, because the family loves Patton.

He’s spent the entire night being as family friendly as he possibly could. It was a tiring effort to be dressed up like a “normal person”, without any makeup or accessories, and placating the old fleabags that he happened to be related to. Even then, he got the typical onslaught of negative attention. He didn’t even care. He didn’t, he really really didn’t. What made the dinner so wildly unbearable was Patton’s existence. He got along with everyone in the family, helped out with cooking, set the table, watched the kids, and was entirely sweet and rated-G. The family doted on him. Remus and Roman’s parents told Roman that Patton was “the one”. Both pairs of grandparents called him a “sweet young man” who was “the perfect homemaker for Roman”. Ugh. Perfect Roman, perfect Patton, and their perfect romance. 

Dinner came, and now the family can’t seem to stop asking them happy little questions. The kids table even came over with the occasional curiosity about Patton and Roman. Remus could tell Roman’s calm and polite demeanor was shattering around question thirty. Even Patton was tired at question fifty. Then Aunt Patty had to open her stupid mouth.

“Well Patton,” She says with a wide smile, “You really are such a great young man! It’s quite the blessing that you’re with Roman.”

There it is. That’s what Remus has been waiting for all night. 

“Aunt Patty, please,” Roman mutters, putting his head in his hands.

“Uhm, I’m not really sure what you mean!” Patton laughs nervously, genuinely confused about what she means. 

The table laughs, and Aunt Patty continues, “Oh, well, I just mean that you chose the right twin!”

Roman succumbs to the urge and lets his head slide onto the table, his hands are behind his head and squeezing at his neck. Patton stares at Aunt Patty like she’s gone mad. Remus slips his butter knife off the table and stabs the back of his hand with it. It hurts, but skin doesn’t break. Most of the table laughs. His parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his adult cousins. They all laugh at the prospect of someone so nice dating someone like Remus. He stabs his hand again, harder this time.

His mother pipes up next, and Patton looks as if he’s going to lose his mind, “It’s a blessing really! If Remus brought someone home they’d probably be crazier than he is!”

“We really are lucky he doesn’t keep partners around for long!” Says his grandfather, and the table laughs again. Remus stabs his hand again.

He can see the gears of Patton's brain working as Roman sits up, “Guys,”

There’s something dangerous behind Patton’s eyes, “Can we please,”

Patton smiles in a way that makes Remus panicky, “Just leave Remus alone?”

He’s got a devious plan, and Remus can tell by the way he places a soft hand on Roman’s shoulder.

He brightly says, “See, Remus, this is why I told you you should have brought him!”, while making the most innocently intense eye-contact Remus has ever had. 

Patton has been spending way too much time with Janus. 

Everyone goes silent. Even the kids, which is a miracle. Remus stabs himself in the hand for the fourth time, the skin breaks. His blood gets onto the sleeve of the white button-up Roman lent him. 

“Remus,” His father speaks very softly, “Do you have a partner?”

Patton smiles at him again, he thinks it over once or twice, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Why didn’t you bring them?” His mother asks with excitement clear in her voice.

Remus scowls, and everyone knows why, “You literally just fu-freaking laughed about his mere existence.”

One of his uncles clears his throat and breaks the silence, “H-How long have you been with them?” 

“Six months.” Remus lies, he hopes the three of them can act well enough to pull it off.

That amount of time is five months longer than any of his previous flings, and his parents erupt into dramatic cries, “You haven’t told us after half a year!”

“I told Roman and Patton!” He yells back, turning back to his food and shoving some in his mouth to angrily chew.

“Roman! Patton! Who is it? Do we know him? Is it serious?” His father has stood up and has leaned over the table to interrogate the pair. 

“Do-” Roman starts, and Remus knows he’s doomed, “Do you remember my friend, Logan?” 

Remus kicks Roman under the table. As hard as he possibly can. His father stops moving, his mother drops her fork. 

“You’re lying.”

“He’s not!” Patton chirps, “None of us expected it either but they’re very cute together!”

“Is Logan that stuck-up boy from their high school graduation who kept talking about following the proper protocol?” His grandma asks with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“That’s the one!” Roman points as he speaks, then the entire family has their eyes on Remus again. 

“What? Are you looking for some explanation or something? He’s smart and he’s hot and he respects my choices,” Remus scoffs out, getting out of his chair and taking his plate to the kitchen, “I’m not talking about this anymore.” 

Patton and Roman follow him into the kitchen with their plates. As he scrapes his plate into the trash, he gives Patton the most intense glare. 

“Remus, I’m so sorry-” Patton pauses, and snatches him by the hand, “Did you stab yourself!?”

The next two hours, nobody brings anything up. It’s a breath of fresh air to have them shocked into respecting his damn privacy. Family leave or head to bed. The only people left awake when the trio are leaving are the twins' parents.

“What do you want, dad?” Remus asks when his father approaches.

His father gives a smile that he assumes was supposed to be warm, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Dad, Remus and I should really be going,” Roman cuts in, probably to try and save Remus from a potentially foreboding conversation.

Roman is pushing Patton and Remus towards the door, their dad chuckles. They must look fairly comedic with Roman angrily pushing against their backs as they stand without budge.

“Remus, you know the family’s winter trip is coming up,” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” He rolls his eyes, and Patton smacks him upside the head.

“Your mother and I would like to extend the invitation to Logan, to get to know him.”

The room is so silent, you can almost hear Aunt Patty snoring in the guest room. Despite everything, Remus can’t bring himself to just say “no” to this offer. The family Cabin is huge, beautiful, quiet, and has a very nice library. Y’know, rich people shit. It really does seem like something Logan would love under different different circumstances. 

He agreed to ask, but he was sure Logan would say no.

“No.”

Called it. Remus knew that even if himself, Roman, and Patton groveled and begged, Logan was not going to budge.

“Logan! It’s only two weeks!” Roman pleads.

“You need a break anyway! What’s more relaxing than being my little boytoy!” Remus grumbles, he’s only partially joking. Logan does need a break, he can tell.

“Okay but have you seen their cabin?” Patton asks in the innocently excited way he tends to do.

That piqued Logan’s interest. He looks at Patton and inquisitively moves his eyebrow vaguely upwards. Roman opens up a folder on his phone of photos from the cabin. There are nearly two hundred, but each photo is whittling down Logan’s resolve. He thinks again about their neat little family library. The fairly large room goes almost entirely unused, only with two exceptions. Remus, and long past on Gran-Gran. Remus remembers sitting on his great-grandmother’s lap while she read to him countless stories. She didn’t mind his weirdness. Logan didn’t mind much either. He’d be alone with hundreds of books for three weeks, what more could he want? He’d just have to let Remus sit in. 

“You know,” Remus leans in, whispering into Logan’s ear very gently, “We’ve got a big library.”

That’s what breaks Logan, who lets out the longest sigh Remus has ever heard in his life.

He agrees to go on two conditions. He will have physical contact with Remus but he will not kiss him, and he gets the make up the story of how the pair met. Remus couldn’t be more ecstatic. His family could suck it! He had a sexy ass fake boyfriend, who's probably gonna make up some dumb and adorable story about meeting in at a Library Book Club Meeting. Logan’s hot, he’s hot. It will work out. No strings attached. None. 

Roman jokes to Remus everyday before the trip that we all know how the trip will end. Remus thinks he’s more unpredictable than that. He hopes he is. 

[brandstifter-sys]

Not a Secret

Word Count: 1218                      (Ao3)

Rating: G

Pairing: Moceit

Characters: Patton, Janus, Virgil

Warnings: Food Mention

Patton is having a bad day and Janus is ready to give him the attention he needs. (So I posted this back in May 2019 on my old blog and it’s still cute, I just updated Deceit’s name and made room for the duke.)

---

The den of nostalgia, also known as Patton’s room. It was usually happy, warm, and glowing gold with memories. But not today. Patton wasn't feeling happy, warm, or glowy, he was just lying in bed with the covers over his face. Sometimes he was just feeling sad, and despite admitting that and promising to be more open, he really didn't want the others to see him like this.

“Patton, dear, you know better than to hide your hideous face under the covers.” a familiar voice cooed as a new weight settled on the bed. Those covers came down to his shoulders so he could see the face of the only side who seemed to have a sixth sense. Janus had to have an internal alarm for days like this. He always appeared.

“Hey Jan, good to see you.”

“My sweet turtledove, you know I can see through your lies.” Janus chuckled, “You don't want to be seen.”

“Then you know I want you to leave, just for a little while.”

“Yes, but I'm not going to. I can't leave you completely alone in good conscience.”

“Conscience?”

“I hardly ever listen to it, but I assure you I have one. Why else would I show up?”

“Because you secretly like me and want to talk to me.”

“Secretly? My dear, it's not a secret.” Janus chuckled, “Now you rest, mope, whatever it is you want. I'll be back with some food. We can't have you going hungry.” He got off the bed and navigated his way to the door through the clutter. Patton smiled softly when he left.

“Patton what the heck?!” Virgil snapped when he burst through that same door not a moment later. The smile fell.

“Virge, don’t yell, please.” he whined. Virgil took a deep breath, and sighed. It was one of those days and he was making it worse.

“Why was he in here just now?” he hissed.

“Janus?”

“Uh, yeah!” Patton internally cringed at the exasperation in his voice.

“He was just checking in, saying hi. Nothing bad.”

“You know, you can come to any of us if you feel down, you don't need to resort to that slimeball for help.” Virge pouted and rubbed his neck. Patton could see right through him; he was worried about his best friend. He was worried that a compulsive liar was more important to him than him.

“I know. I love you guys and I said I would be more open. Right now, I just need some space, unless you need something, kiddo.”

“No, not really. Lemme know if you’re not gonna come to movie night. Lo and Ro already canceled.” Virgil replied and left. Patton sighed. He was definitely canceling too, to give a certain strained duo some time alone to do whatever. He wasn’t in the mood to chaperone. All he wanted to do was lay around and mope. Too bad he couldn’t do that, even with Virgil gone.

“Morality.” Janus called and knocked on the door before coming in anyway because Patton was expecting him. Patton didn’t mind, it’s not like he had the motivation to stop him. He had a tray balanced on one hand as he entered. It held a glass of milk, a peanut butter sandwich, and a few cookies.

“I didn’t cut the crusts off,” he hummed, coming to rest on the edge of Patton’s bed. Patton pouted–he hated eating the crust!

“Now that is a face I could just smother in kisses.” Janus droned sarcastically, “Sit up so I can start.” Patton begrudgingly shifted and squirmed from under his covers. Janus set the tray on his lap and waited for his reaction.

“Thanks, Jay.” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. The sandwich had been cut into two heart shapes with a cookie cutter.

“I thought you said—”

“Patton, I didn't cut them off, I simply didn't need that part.” Janus chuckled, “Now eat up so I can give you your space.” Patt tentatively took a bite of the sandwich and eyed Janus curiously.

“Are you really going to go?” Patt questioned, somewhat ruefully.

“No. I’ll hide under your bed and scare away the spiders.” Janus teased, “I'm staying in this room, catching up on my reading, distorting a few minor memories the raccoon had too much influence over, and keeping you company.”

“But I don't really want company” Patton said as he finished his sandwich. It sounded a little distorted due to the peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth, but it was understandable as well as adorable. Janus chuckled and shook his head.

“What?” Patton pressed, going for the glass of milk.

“You are a liar.” he hummed, “And I know exactly what you want, so lying to me about it is fruitless.” 

“Hm, and what do I want?”

“You want company—company that doesn't need you to be happy and the voice of positivity. You want to be near people who won't treat you like a fool or a child, people who can see you as you truly are in every aspect without judging or treating you differently. You don’t think Logan and Roman take you seriously, and you don’t want Virgil to worry. You believe what you want is out of reach.” Janus answered plainly. Patton choked on his drink.

“Don't be surprised, Patton.” he chuckled and patted Morality's back to ease the coughing. He was fully capable of honesty, it wasn’t like deception was his only purpose!

“Thanks.” Patt cleared his throat once he caught his breath, “That doesn't explain why you're still here, though.”

“I know the truth, I know you better than the others. The sorrows, the anger, the lingering angst, as well as the joy, the love, and the childish glee. I have the clearest picture of you, and I must say, you are a masterpiece.”

“Thanks, Jay, but I'm a mess.” Patton sighed and bit into a cookie, snapping it in two.

“Mess is the soul of art, duckling.” he cooed, rubbing gentle circles on his back, “You are a vibrant, multifaceted individual who has my unending respect and admiration.”

“Jay,” Patton whined, setting the other half of his cookie on the tray. He wasn't hungry anymore, “Could you move this to the desk? I'm full.” The snake did as he was asked, smirking as he whittled away the front Patton put up.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked upon his return. Patton tapped his chin and pouted adorably. There was one thing, but he was afraid to say it. He didn't have to.

“Do you want me to sit with you and cuddle?”

“Please.” Patt whimpered. Janus smiled and climbed under the covers, pulling Patton to his chest. Patton leaned into him and closed his eyes. He was so warm, a welcome heat source for the snake. It was like a dream come true, simply to be this close to the kindest, most welcoming side.

“Would you like to hear a secret?” Janus breathed, tickling Patton's ear.

“Sure.”

“I love you.”

“My dear, it's not a secret.” Patton giggled and snuggled closer. His smile fell immediately afterwards, but that was to be expected. Cuddles wouldn't change his mood right away, but they helped.

“Not anymore.” Janus chuckled and kissed his forehead.

[darkesthourrpg]

DARKEST HOUR is looking for a COUNCIL MEMBER (THE LOST) connection. Please message THE MAIN for more information regarding this connection. The connection is TAKEN.

NAME OF REQUESTED CHARACTER:

Up to player.

AGE RANGE:

Up to player. I would like them to be at least over 30. 

SPECIES:

Phoenix, Succubus, or a Banshee is required for this role. 

WANTED FACECLAIMS:

Parveen Kaur, Nathan Mitchell, Charles Michael Davis, Lana Parilla, Dev Patel, John Cho, Daniel Sunjata, Maggie Q, Nick Sagar, Lucy Liu, Idris Elba, Angela Bassett, Levy Tran, Raymond Ablack, Candice Patton, Sidhnarth Malhotra, Henry Golding, Olivia Munn, Daniella Pineda, Ricky Whittle, Daniel Henney, Deepika Padukone, Amber Stevens West, Danny Pino, Gemma Chan, Nicola Correia-Damude, Ashley Madekwe, Peter Gadiot, Jamie Chung, Summer Bishil, Nathalie Kelley, Sandra Oh, Rahul Kohli, Diane Guerrero, Jamie Clayton, Logan Browning, Tina Desai, Ming Na Wen, Meaghan Rath, Adam Rodriguez, Sarah Shahi, Gabrielle Union, Christina Moses, Grace Park, Meegwun Fairbrother, Isaiah Mustafa, Sterling Sulieman, Phillipa Soo, Lashana Lynch, Oscar Isaac, Ben Barnes, Lesley-Ann Brandt, Sendhil Ramamurthy, Sean Teale, Lupita Nyong'o, Jessica Matten, D.B. Woodside, Idris Elba, Hannah John Kamen, Gugu Mbatha-Raw or UTP

CONNECTION TYPE:

Council Member - Staten Island 

BACKGROUND:

The background is completely up to you when it comes to the character. 

They would be taking over for Ophelia Todd’s previous position. They were a mermaid who was killed during the Hunter Games. if your character knew them or didn’t is completely up to you. They were asked to step up though after her death. 

Keep in mind this position handles the rights/requests for all banshees, phoenixes, and mermaids. Traditionally whatever species is in power at the time tends to have a little more rights than the others. 

Since they’re all lesser known species they don’t have near the funding that say vampires/witches have, but that could also be a plot point/struggle they face of trying to get the resources split across the board and get the species their rights they deserve.They are welcome to be wealth themselves though, but with all the species like banshees and phoenixes forgetting/being secretive it is sometimes hard to collective come together as a group. I would love to see them pull everyone together. 

[bigskydreaming]

People are like: 

“Sorry, I just think its a stretch to assume racism is the reason these actors - who have nothing in common except all being actors of color, most of them black - are hated by their own fandoms for being ‘terrible people,’ ‘angry, rude, disrespectful’ and ‘not even that great at acting anyway,’ and  that’s why they’re targeted and demonized by fans in ways and to degrees not a single one of their white co-stars have ever report having similarly experienced: John Boyega, Tyler Posey, Candice Patton, Kat Graham, Ricky Whittle, Jessica Szhor, Charles Michael Davis, Nicole Beharie, Heather Hemmens, Mehcad Brooks, Sonequa Martin-Green, etc.”

“Isn’t it just a lot more realistic that John Boyega, Tyler Posey, Candice Patton, Kat Graham, Ricky Whittle, Jessica Szhor, Charles Michael Davis, Nicole Beharie, Heather Hemmens, Mehcad Brooks, Sonequa Martin-Green, etc all just happen to be angry, rude, disrespectful and otherwise terrible people and that’s the real reason why they’re hated and demonized by their fandoms whereas not a single one of their white co-stars have ever done anything to deserve that?”

[babysizedfics]

we know janus was touch starved but was vee? -🌙

definitely!!! when he first moved in to the light sides house vee hadnt had a cuddle in years, the dark sides house just isnt somewhere people show affection like that. janus felt really awkward about physical affection in general when virgil was first created because he was so caught off guard by his rash decision to make a new side

though he did carry vee when it was necessary and when vee was very small (age 4-6) he would occassionally hold virgil in his lap and give him little squeezes as hugs and he kissed virgils head ONLY when virgil was asleep (sometimes virgil pretended to sleep so he could feel it, janus maybe knew he was faking slee a couple times but neither of them talked about it)

but once vee was a bit older like 10 years old janus stopped doing this stuff bc it made him feel vulnerable and he didnt know how to cope - he still kissed virgils head when he thought he was sleeping though

when vee arrived at the light sides house he got super blushy and stuttery whenever anyone touched him, he would lose his ability to speak properly and blink and breathe a bit faster because he was overwhelmed by the feelings - both because it was an iverwhelming sensory experience after not being used to touch for years and being emotionally overwhelming because of the affection

but patton recognised the touch starvation instantly - like within weeks of virgil moving in, and made sure to whittle away at it slowly. patting virgils shoulder softly, squeezing his hand a bit, and eventually pulling him into one armed hugs.

it was a big thing for vee and secured patton as a parental figure for him even if he didnt concsiously acknowledge it for a few years

also here's the concept about how virgil and patton eventually make a routine of hugging every morning bc it makes me soft and is related

[theloveliestprince]

Ghostly spooks

 Tw: Ghost, School.

Remus and Virgil had planned out their next ghost adventure, Remus picked it out, he said it was the most haunted real place they've been yet and that was saying something for all their other adventures they always found an answer to something. Virgil was getting bored of going from place to place, he was more in it to see if he could catch something Remus more like just going to old abandoned places because they were cool. 

“You got everything?” Remus shouted from the van at Virgil who had his backpack on.

“Yes,” Virgil sighed, opening the door to the van and getting in. “Can you please explain to me more of where we're going cause I really don’t want to be chased by homeless people again” Virgil let out an exhausted sigh.

“Don't worry too much, it's a school!” Remus drummed on the steering wheel as he pulled out of the driveway. 

“Great homeless teachers” Virgil made sure the camera as they both rocked out to the music in the van.

  Remus pulled up to the school parking lot both of them in shock at how hidden it truly was by the trees. The school was old fashioned and not that big, it wasn’t covered in graffiti like most places and it looked clean on the inside. The schools windows were intact despite them being covered in a fine layer of crust they looked clean.

“This is possibly the cleanest place we have ever been to.” Virgil got out of the van Remus following suit. Remus got out the camera and the other ghost equipment. Remus and Virgil started heading up the path Remus locking the van as they paid attention to the surrounding arrears. Virgil keepet his eye out for any real people. Remus and Virgil got up to the door of the school and took in the musty smell that Virgil did not find very appealing but Remus loved it.

“You got a story for me on this place?” Virgil asked as Remus got out his things to pick the lock. 

“Nothing concrete only rumour” Remus crouched down” and started at the lock. “The first rumour is that the building was attacked by witches” Remus added a spooky ghost noise before continuing. “The other is that it was attacked by a mob and the  whole class survived but the teacher did not” 

“That's sad at least all the kids are ok” the door to the school clicked indicating the door was unlocked.

“You ready?” Remus asked. Virgil nodded holding up the camera ready to film anything. Remus pushed all his weight on the door hearing it crack open with him falling on his face with the door opening . “I'm good!” He jumped back up dusting himself off. Virgil looked around getting a better look at the school, the inside was even more clean than the outside there was a layer of dust but it didn’t seem to bother the air. The chalkboard at the front of the room looked to be recently used looking to be as if someone was about to write on it.

“This place is a lot smaller than i thought” Virgil moved more into the building stepping over rubble.

“Yeah it looks huge on the outside.” Remus walked to the back of the classroom as Virgil walked to the front to look at the chalkboard. Virgil traced his fingers over the chalkboard picking up all the dust and chalk. Remus had gotten about halfway to the back before a loud bang of something hitting something else filled the room. 

“What was that” Virgil was trying to compose himself, well Remus was intrigued even more now.

“I think some rubble in the roof fell” Remus pointed up to the decaying ceiling, paint and wood was slowly falling down. 

“Then let's make this quick, I don't wanna get crushed” Virgil huffed looking under the desk that was up front. Another crack fell through the room. “There's nothing spooky in here anyways” Remus nodded in agreement and continued moving to the back of the school.

“Virg wanna take a photo?” Remus crouched down and did a pose. Virgil sighed and got the camera ready. Another rumble fell through the room as Virgil got out the camera ready to take a picture.

“Are you even sure we should be here? What if this building has asbestos?” Virgil asked, moving to get a good angle of Remus.

“Chill out Emo there's no asbestos” 

“There could be your not a building manager” Virgil took a few pictures of Remus. 

“What if i am?” Remus chuckled. Another big rumble filled the room louder than the last rumbles. 

“We should probably get going” Virgil started to get worried. He packed the camera up in its neat little bag. Remus sighed before he stood back up. 

“Wanna go in the field?” Remus dug through his back looking to see if he had anything for lunch or it was in the van. 

“Sure” the building shocked with so much force it sent Remus and Virgil to the floor. The next minutes were a blur for Remus, he remembers Virgil screaming his name and a loud crash. 

“Are you ok?” The voice that spoke was certainly not Virgil, it was much more caring and calm. 

“I should be” Remus stood up. There was a man standing in front of him who had a light blue glow to him. 

“Holy shi-” Virgil started

“Now now kiddio we don't use that language here” The man spoke. Virgil was taken back by the ghost and couldn't get his next question out so Remus did it for him.

“Are you a ghost?” Remus locked eyes with the man trying to wrap his head around what is going on and what is happening. 

“I guess that's the correct way of saying it yes.” The ghost man answered.  

“THAT’S AWESOME!” Remus shouted, he moved over the rubble on the floor to get a better look at the ghost man. Virgil was scrambling to get out his camera too in shock to even unzip it right. “What's your Name?”

“My name's Patton” Remus was circling Patton trying to comprehend how he was there. 

“How are you here?”  

“I’ve been asking that question for years, Remus?” Patton asked Remus' name at the end, Remus nodding, not being able to give a full answer.

“Ghosts are usually attached to something” Virgil managed to let out. 

“That is true but what am i attached to?” Patton moved a bit away from the rubble. Patton walked like a normal human he looked and talked like one to only thing telling you he was a ghost was the light blue outline he gave off. Remus put a finger on his chin. 

“The building?” Patton thought for a second before shaking his head no.

“I think it's something smaller” Remus took this into account and started digging through the school building leaving Virgil to try and compose himself. “Hey kiddio are you ok?” Patton lowered his voice and walked closer to where Virgil stood. Virgil backed up by a step before shaking his head no. “take a deep breath for me ok?” Virgil did as he was told “Now let it out” Virgil again listened to Patton finding comfort in his voice. Virgil took a step back away from dirt on the ground to sit. “You're doing great kiddio” Patton sat crouched in front of Virgil who was calming down. “I FOUND SOMETHING!” Remus shouted. Patton was worried that this would scare Virgil but he looked more done with Remus than spooked with him.

“What did you find?” Patton cautiously made his way over to Remus. 

“THiS!” Remus held out a little whittled frog. Patton lit up. 

“That's adorable!” Patton was able to pick up the tiny wooden frog and hold it. 

“You think that's what you're attached to?” Remus was bouncing up and down way too excited for his own good. Patton turned over the wood frog in his hand examining it carefully in his hands. 

“There's a chance” another rumble filled the room, Virgil falling back down as he was trying to get up.

“We should go before the building falls,” Virgil stated as he got up again. Remus nodded and started getting everything together. 

“Take this with you” Patton handed back the little wooden frog to Remus. Remus thanked him and he and Virgil left the building waving bye to Patton. 

“Ima miss him.” Remus said, staring at the little frog.

“We just met him,” Virgil said as they watched the building a bit from the van. 

“But we just met a ghost named PATTON” Remus exaggerated.

“That is true” Virgil sighed as he and Remus got into the van. 

   They drove home in a moppy mood that they had to leave their new friend. It bothered Remus the most as he was sat at the dining table looking at the little wooden frog.

“I'm sure he will be fine,” Virgil patted Remus shoulder handing him a plate with lunch on it. 

“I know but we met an actual ghost!” Remus through his hands in the air.

“A GHOST WERE!?” Virgil and Remus jumped back as Patton was standing at the end of their dining room table.

“PATTon!” Remus practicality knocked over the table as he went to give Patton a hug. Virgil jumped further back as the table shocked. Remus started losing it as he gave Patton a hug but instead he made contact with the floor. Patton and Virgil joined in on the laughing.

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

snakes & silliness

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Janus, Remus, Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Intrualiceit, with a focus on Dukeceit Warnings: Language, some innuendo, both mostly courtesy of Remus.  Word count: 2297

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

Dukeceit Week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: The selecting of a first family pet is a very important matter. Almost as important as making Janus grin and blush in the middle of the reptile section. Luckily, Remus and Patton take both of these tasks as seriously as they should.

Notes: Day 3 of Dukeceit Week 2021! @dukeceitweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, where each piece can be read without any context. Takes place 4 or 5 years post-college. Remus, Janus, and Patton all use he/they pronouns. 

–

Remus locked the car doors behind them as he, Janus, and Patton began to make their way across the parking lot towards the pet store. “What shall we name it?” he inquired, offering one hand to each of his partners.

Patton lit up. “I don’t know… Snakey!”

Remus pursed his lips. “Sure, but I was thinking, like, something cool. Like… Mouse Killer.”

“No, that’s sad!” Patton shook his head. “What about Scaley?”

Remus grinned. “Janus Jr.”

“Danger Noodle!”

“Janice, but spelled the other way.”

“Snoot Boopsie!”

“Janus, but pronounced like anus.”

“You are both terrible at naming snakes,” Janus cut in, breaking the amused silence they had maintained until now as their eyebrows rose higher and higher with each of Remus and Patton’s suggestions.

“Oh, really?” Remus rounded on them with a grin. “And what would you name it, then, if you’re so much cleverer than us?”

Janus froze, mouth open, clearly caught off-guard by the question. “…Jake,” they said weakly after a pause.

Remus snickered. “Oh, really?” He let go of Patton’s hand and moved closer to Janus, leaning into their personal space. “Is that your genius idea for Best Snake Name of All Time? You’re sure?”

Janus, being Janus, stood their ground. “Yes,” they mumbled, sounding only a little sheepish.

Remus traded a mischievous glance with Patton. “And you didn’t make it up on the spot because you were making fun of our ideas when you had none of your own?”

“Of… of course not,” Janus said, tone almost perfectly even and cheeks very red.

“Well,” Patton chirped, the picture of innocence standing there at his full height of 5’2” and dressed all in pastels, speaking in that particular syrupy sweet tone that was the surest sign that his partners were in an excellent kind of danger, “I think that’s a great name, honey!” He raised his eyebrows at Remus in a meaningful way.

Janus blinked. “…What?”

“Oh, definitely,” Remus agreed with a wide grin, catching Patton’s drift at once. Teaming up with Patton to tease Janus was, pretty much universally, an excellent idea. Remus hooked their chin over Janus’s shoulder from behind, wrapping his arm around their waist. “I mean, it really sums up the essence of what we desire in a pet snake, you know?” He held up a hand in front of them both, palm out and fingers spread, drawing a line as if to illuminate the word in the air. “Jake. Now there’s a name that really says dangerous. Intimidating. Cool.”

“I hate you,” Janus mumbled, tilting their head to press their temple against his in a fond little gesture that belied their words.

“Nah, you don’t.” Remus kissed his cheek. “Besides, sugar, if you don’t like it, all you gotta do is say so.” He drew Janus closer by the waist until they were pressed together, his tone turning to a teasing sing-song. “Just let us know you don’t like it. That you were pulling it out of your ass and that you think it’s silly. That you were wrong and you changed your mind.” He leaned closer so his breath fanned against their ear and lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. “Just say it. That’s all you gotta do.” He pulled away, putting on his best bright, innocent air. “Up to you, though! Pat and I clearly love it, so if you don’t say anything, we do have a unanimous winner.” He grinned at Janus.

“You are so mean,” Janus whined.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Remus asked innocently. “Don’t wanna admit you’re wrong?”

“I’m not,” Janus protested at once, “I just….”

“Yes?” Patton said sweetly. “You just what, honey?”

Janus let out a sigh. “You two are going to be the death of me, you know?”

“Why?” Remus inquired. “Because you like it when we make you squirm?”

Janus made a small strangled sound. “Oh, my god.”

“That definitely wasn’t a no, baby,” Remus purred.

Janus flushed pink once again. “I—you—let’s go look at the snakes.” They pulled free of Remus’s grasp and moved towards the door of the pet store.

“Damn. We really are those, like, super obnoxious people who just stand in the parking lot flirting for ten minutes,” Remus commented, putting his hands in the pockets of his green-blue-yellow colorblock jacket, as Janus disappeared into the store.

“Have we ever been anything else?” Patton pointed out in a practical tone. “Come on, now, sweetie, we’d better catch up before Jan buys out half the reptile section.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Remus retorted easily, but allowed Patton to tug him into the store by the hand in search of their other partner.

They found Janus in the reptile section, staring with wide eyes and a soft, open expression into one of the glass tanks. They had a tiny grin on their face as they watched the snake flick its tongue out, and after a second, the tip of their own tongue appeared in an answering blep to mirror the snake. Their expression was far less guarded—and far more happy—than they normally allowed it to be in public, and Remus was hit in the gut with an overpowering wave of remembering-just-how-gooshy-Jan-made-him emotions.

Patton cooed softly, phone at the ready in a flash; Remus leaned over, resting their chin on Patton’s shoulder, and adjusted the angle of the camera just slightly to one he knew Janus would like better. Patton clicked the shutter.

“I can see you, you know,” Janus commented quietly, eyes not leaving the snake.

“It’s not our fault you’re so pretty,” Remus responded, backed up by an emphatic nod from Patton. He moved over to stand at Janus’s side, sliding his hand possessively around their waist. “Is this Jake?” he inquired innocently.

“Oh my god,” Janus mumbled, rolling their eyes.

“What? I thought you liked that name,” Remus teased with his best evil grin. “You know, it being your idea, and you being so much better at coming up with names than us, and all.”

“You really aren’t going to let that one go, are you?” Janus sighed.

Remus put one finger under Janus’s chin and tilted their face towards himself. “Not unless you tell us exactly what you want, baby,” he breathed, letting his tone go dark.

Janus visibly swallowed, cheeks staining red. “I—” Their eyes flitted away from him, glancing around. “Remus, we’re in public.”

“Why, what did I do?” Remus asked sweetly, grinning.

“You know perfectly well what you did.”

Remus grinned wider. “Hell yeah I do,” they acknowledged. “C’mon, there’s no kids over here, I can be a little naughty.” However, having made their point, he did ease off the teasing, just for the moment. “Now, introduce me to our snakey pal here. Are we liking this one?”

Janus looked over Remus’s shoulder, and Patton was by their side at once. “I—I do like this one, I think,” Janus said, indicating the snake that had been engrossing them when Remus and Patton arrived. “But we can look around first, and talk about it.”

Patton dug in their pocket and produced the scrap of paper with the list of species they’d agreed upon as options, after several nights’ worth of internet research and heated discussion. They’d needed to find a pet that would do well in the apartment the three of them had just moved into—their first home together. It was one that would allow pets, which had been important to them, and choosing a snake as the inaugural pet of the family had been an easy decision for Remus and Patton after the way Janus lit up talking about it.

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” Patton said, unfolding the list.

While there were, frankly, a surprising number of snakes available for purchase—Remus counted at least ten—only two or three met the criteria that the three of them had put together.

“So?” Remus asked, looking at Janus expectantly when they had whittled down the options before them thus far. “What’s it gonna be, babe?”

Janus hesitated. “It’s going to be our snake. Not mine. We should all choose.”

“Yeah, but Pat and I have only been waiting for it for a few months. You’ve been waiting since you were eight. It’s important to all of us, but it’s most important to you.” Remus glanced at Patton. “Isn’t that right?”

Patton nodded. “I like all of the options, honey,” they told Janus. “I wanna know which one makes you most happy.”

Janus was silent, looking back and forth between two glass tanks and quietly stimming with their hands—rubbing their thumbs back and forth along all their other fingertips, a stim Remus recognized as one of their go-tos when thinking hard or overwhelmed. “I….” They bit their lip, looking beseechingly over at their partners, voice trailing off in what seemed like mild distress.

Remus put his arm around their waist again, drumming his fingers against their side. “Problem?” he asked, gently pushing Janus’s hair out of their face.

Janus hesitated. “I’m… stuck,” they said by way of explanation. They gestured vaguely towards their forehead. “Up here.”

Remus nodded and placed his free hand delicately on Janus’s chest, right over their heart, his fingertips barely pressing against the soft, clingy lace fabric of their long black dress. “How about here?” he asked.

Janus chewed on the inside of their mouth for a beat and shook his head. “Not stuck there.”

“Do you want to go home and come back later?” Patton asked.

Janus shook their head again, head bent and hair falling about their face as they stared into one of the snake tanks. “I know which one. I’m only second guessing myself.”

Remus wrapped both his hands around their slim waist. “Do you know what you need?” he said, the words coming easily to his tongue. He’d struck on that particular phrasing back in college; it helped when Janus was feeling stuck, usually due to either sensory overload or a disconnect between their feelings and rational thoughts. It was simple and, more importantly, it cut past the issue of explaining what the problem was, which could be hard for Janus to articulate.

Janus hesitated. “Not exactly.”

“Any ideas?” Remus prompted when they did not go on.

Janus rested one hand over Remus’s, still clasped about their side, and drummed their slim fingers on the back of his hand. “I… don’t know how I feel about the name ideas anymore,” they said slowly, as if trying to shape the thoughts in their head into words.

“Oh, that’s no problem, I was mostly just being silly,” Remus assured them at once, absently signing the word “silly” in ASL as he spoke—one of a handful of words he’d retained in his vocabulary since he spent a stint learning the language in middle school. He glanced over at Patton. “Right?”

Patton nodded. “Of course not, honey. We don’t need to pick a name right now. We can always work that out some other time.”

Janus let out a long breath. “Okay. That—that’s good. Yes.”

“Better?” Remus asked, feeling the way they had untensed against him.

Janus inclined their head once. “Less things in my head now.”

“That’s good,” Remus said. “Also,” he added, in a less serious tone, “can I just point out that I am being really good about how many times we are saying the word snake and how many dirty jokes I am not making, and you should both give me lots of attention about it?”

Janus let out a huff of laughter. “What exactly am I doing right now, pray tell?” he inquired, gesturing to where he and Remus were pressed together all down their side, and to Remus’s hand about their waist.

“Breathing, in that very sexy way you do,” Remus retorted at once with a grin.

Janus half smiled. “I’m flattered, darling.” They pressed their temple to Remus’s. “However, I was referring to the way we are practically cuddling in broad daylight. Is that not giving you attention?”

“True,” Remus agreed, giving Janus’s side an appreciative squeeze, “but you’re also giving some of your attention to these reptiles.” He gestured at the wall of tanks before them. “Let it be known that I am terribly jealous. And Pat is all the way over there, which is too far.” They pouted at Patton, standing all of twelve inches away from the pair of them.

“Yes, you’re being very good, sweetie,” Patton said, patting Remus on the cheek. “You get lots of kisses later.”

Remus beamed, catching Patton’s hand in their free hand. “Much better,” they said with a pleased chuckle, and looked back to Janus. “Are you ready to tell us which snake is coming home with us, baby?” He hooked his finger in one of Janus’s belt loops and ran his thumb back and forth along their side just above it.

Janus pursed their lips, clearly considering this. “Yes,” they said. “I really like this one.” He indicated a tank with a golden-brown, spotted snake inside; a corn snake, the same one they had been so interested in when Remus and Patton arrived.

Patton made an excited noise, and Janus’s face melted into a soft little grin at once. “I love that one!” Patton said. “That one is the best one.”

“Good.” Janus looked at Remus, the barest hint of nerves almost perfectly hidden in their face.

Remus leaned up and pecked their lips. “’S perfect, baby,” he said easily.

Janus relaxed the rest of the way, leaning into Remus’s touch and raising one hand to their mouth to cover the smile on their face. “Of course it is,” they said primly, reaching around Remus’s back to rest a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “It’s ours, after all.”

--

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @theimprobabledreamersworld

[newstfionline]

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Job Market Picks Up Strength (NYT) Driven by unexpectedly large job gains at the nation’s restaurants and bars, the labor market picked up strength in February, raising hopes that the economic recovery was taking hold more firmly. All told, employers added 379,000 jobs, the government reported Friday, the strongest showing since October. The increase, as vaccination efforts ramped up and restrictions on businesses eased, followed a deep loss in December and a modest rise in January. But the February pace was still far short of the gains recorded from late spring to early fall as the pandemic’s sudden stranglehold loosened. There are roughly 9.5 million fewer jobs than a year ago, and a year’s worth of lost opportunities—as many as two million jobs that would most likely have been created if previous hiring trends had continued. Congress is considering a $1.9 trillion package of pandemic relief intended to carry struggling households and businesses through the coming months.

Can Biden Keep Coal Country From Becoming a ‘Ghost Town’? (NYT) From a porch in Martin County, Ky., in 1964, President Lyndon B. Johnson declared a war on poverty. Decades later, President Barack Obama dedicated millions of dollars to work force development projects in Appalachia. President Donald J. Trump even pledged the impossible: a revival of the region’s faltering coal industry. President Biden is talking big, too, assuring residents that his climate plan will also create well-paying jobs there. But after generations of promises, communities once reliant on coal mining are understandably skeptical. Administration after administration has tried to bring the region sustained prosperity, yet many communities remain on the brink. In eastern Kentucky, the poverty rate in several counties exceeds 30 percent. Unemployment is among the highest in the nation. And an outward migration over several decades has cut the populations of some counties nearly in half, leaving local governments strapped for tax revenue and struggling to fund essential services. “Fifty years from now, this could be a ghost town,” said former Gov. Paul E. Patton, an eastern Kentucky native. “That’s my prediction.”

Hyperinflation Pushes Venezuela to Print 1,000,000-Bolivar Bills (Bloomberg) Venezuela said it will introduce new large-denomination bolivar notes as hyperinflation renders most bills worthless, forcing citizens to turn to the U.S. dollar for everyday transactions. The country’s central bank posted a statement on its website Friday saying it would begin circulating the new 200,000, 500,000 and 1,000,000 bills to “fulfill the current economy’s requirements” without providing further details. The 1,000,000 note—the largest in the nation’s history—is worth only $0.53 cents. As Venezuela’s economy shrank for a seventh straight year in 2020, the government turned a blind eye to a growing number of dollar transactions, kick-started by rolling power outages that prevented credit and debit card purchases and fostered the use of cash. About 66% of transactions across the country are estimated to be made in foreign currency, according to Ecoanalitica. While the dollar has gained ground, Venezuelans continue to rely on bolivar bills for public transportation and to purchase subsidized fuel. The Caracas subway recently issued an electronic payment system after it routinely stopped charging passengers due to cash shortages.

Protesters and Police Clash in Paraguay Amid Anger Over Pandemic Response (Reuters) Protesters clashed with the police in Paraguay’s capital, Asunción, late on Friday as anger over the government’s handling of the coronavirus crisis boiled onto the streets and forced the resignation of the country’s top health official. Security forces fired rubber bullets and tear gas at hundreds of demonstrators who had gathered around the Congress building, while protesters broke down security barriers, burned road barricades and threw stones at the police. The protests broke out amid growing outrage as coronavirus infections hit record levels and hospitals verged on collapse throughout Paraguay.

UK COVID-19 lockdown provides boom towns for rats (Deutsche Welle) Rats, and other members of the rodent family, have a lousy reputation. They crop up regularly in our everyday language to describe bleak situations and sentiments (Rats!, caught in a rat race, someone with rat-like features—you get the drift). They seem to be omnipresent in the best of times, but now, they’re having a, er, field day. In London and other major cities across the UK, rat sightings have soared during the pandemic. The British Pest Control Association (BPCA), which represents 700 vermin catchers across the country, said its members reported a 51% hike in rodent activity during the first lockdown last spring, and a 78% increase in November after the next lockdown. Typically, rats avoid humans and make drains and sewers their homes. However, as a result of shuttered businesses and deserted high streets, the creatures are out in full force and making restaurants, pubs and empty buildings their new habitat as they look for other sources to satisfy their dietary needs. “It seems their lifestyle patterns are changing. Rats, in particular, are also becoming more visible in areas of population. With less footfall across cities and towns, there is less associated food waste being left in bins and on the floor. Also, bin areas behind restaurants and pubs are empty and free of food waste making it unavailable for the local rat population,” Natalie Bungay, technical officer with the BPCA, told DW via email. As a result, rats are also moving further afield to find other food sources. “Rats seem to be moving from cities closer to residential areas, where we’re still filling our bins with food waste,” says Bungay.

Brexit Antagonism Escalates as EU, U.K. Go Another Round (Bloomberg) When the U.K. and European Union shook hands on a trade deal late last year, few expected the new relationship to be plain sailing. And as with many divorces, antagonism between the sides has refused to fade. Among the most sensitive issues is Northern Ireland, and tensions ramped up considerably this week when the U.K. announced it will ignore some crucial obligations under the Brexit deal and the EU responded with a dramatic threat of legal action. With Prime Minister Boris Johnson already under pressure from members of his own party to rip up the Northern Ireland deal, the risk is a further escalation that erodes relations. That could have spillovers far beyond politics, and the ongoing saga is a frustration for business. The U.K.’s huge finance industry, for example, is seeing the potential for beneficial trade agreements being slowly whittled away by endless political spats.

Pope, top Iraq Shiite cleric hold historic, symbolic meeting (AP) Pope Francis and Iraq’s top Shiite cleric delivered a powerful message of peaceful coexistence Saturday, urging Muslims in the war-weary Arab nation to embrace Iraq’s long-beleaguered Christian minority during an historic meeting in the holy city of Najaf. Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani said religious authorities have a role in protecting Iraq’s Christians, and that Christians should live in peace and enjoy the same rights as other Iraqis. The Vatican said Francis thanked al-Sistani for having “raised his voice in defense of the weakest and most persecuted” during some of the most violent times in Iraq’s recent history. Al-Sistani, 90, is one of the most senior clerics in Shiite Islam and his rare but powerful political interventions have helped shape present-day Iraq. He is a deeply revered figure in Shiite-majority Iraq and his opinions on religious and other matters are sought by Shiites worldwide. The historic meeting in al-Sistani’s humble home was months in the making, with every detail painstakingly discussed and negotiated between the ayatollah’s office and the Vatican. The “very positive” meeting lasted a total of 40 minutes, said a religious official in Najaf.

A decade after Fukushima nuclear disaster, contaminated water symbolizes Japan’s struggles (Washington Post) Beside the ruins of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant, more than 1,000 huge metal tanks loom in silent testament to one of the worst nuclear disasters in history, the meltdown of three nuclear reactors 10 years ago this month. The tanks contain nearly 1.25 million tons of cooling water from the 2011 disaster and groundwater seepage over the years—equivalent to around 500 Olympic-size swimming pools—most of it still dangerously radioactive. Running out of space to build more tanks, the government wants to gradually release the water into the sea—after it has been decontaminated and diluted—over the next three decades or more. Even though a formal decision has yet to be announced, the government and the Tokyo Electric Power Co. (TEPCO) have insisted that an ocean release is their preferred solution and that it is perfectly safe. The only thing holding them back appears to be the Olympics and the bad publicity it could generate before the Games begin in July, experts say. The idea of releasing the water has infuriated Fukushima’s fishing community, only now getting back on its feet after taking a battering in the wake of the 2011 disaster and the subsequent ocean contamination. Also angry is South Korea, even though it is more than 600 miles away on the other side of Japan.

Hong Kong reforms prevent ‘dictatorship of the majority’, pro-Beijing lawmaker says (Reuters) China’s proposal for Hong Kong electoral reforms could prevent a “dictatorship of the majority”, pro-Beijing Hong Kong lawmaker Martin Liao told Reuters on Saturday. The Chinese parliament is discussing plans to overhaul Hong Kong’s electoral system to ensure Beijing loyalists are in charge. Hong Kong representatives, in Beijing for an annual session, say the change is necessary and desirable. “Many people in Hong Kong are politically immature,” Liao, who sits on both Hong Kong’s and China’s legislature, said in a telephone interview. “They think ‘one man one vote’ is the best thing, and they take advice from countries that don’t even have ‘one man one vote’,” Liao said, referring to how neither the U.S. President nor the British Prime Minister is elected by a popular vote. The proposed changes, which include expanding the city’s Election Committee from 1,200 to 1,500 people and expanding the city’s Legislative Council from 70 to 90 seats, will make Hong Kong’s electoral system more “representative”, and less prone to “dictatorship of the majority”, Liao added. Critics say that Beijing would be able to stack the two bodies with even more pro-establishment members, to gain the numerical superiority needed to influence important decisions such as the election of the city’s Chief Executive, leaving Hong Kong voters with less direct say in who they want to lead them.

Myanmar forces fire tear gas, stun grenades on protest as U.N. envoy calls for action (Reuters) Myanmar security forces used tear gas and stun grenades to break up a protest in Yangon on Saturday, just hours after a United Nations special envoy called on the Security Council to take action against the ruling junta for the killings of protesters. The Southeast Asian country has been plunged in turmoil since the military overthrew and detained elected leader Aung San Suu Kyi on Feb. 1, with daily protests and strikes that have choked business and paralysed administration. More than 50 protesters have been killed since the coup, according to the United Nations—at least 38 on Wednesday alone. The army says it has been restrained in stopping the protests, but has said it will not allow them to threaten stability.

Lebanon on edge as protests persist, caretaker PM pleads for new government (Reuters) Demonstrators blocked various roadways across Lebanon for the fifth day in a row on Saturday, and a heavy army presence filled parts of the capital as anger simmered over the country’s economic downturn. Caretaker Prime Minister Hassan Diab threatened in a speech earlier in the day to stop performing his duties to pressure politicians to form a new government. Groups of protesters have been burning tyres daily to block roads since the Lebanese currency tumbled to a new low on Tuesday, enraging a population long horrified by the country’s financial meltdown. Lebanon’s financial crisis, which erupted in 2019, has wiped out jobs, raised warnings of growing hunger and locked people out of their bank deposits. A new cabinet could implement reforms needed to trigger billions of dollars of international aid.

Electricity, time, and Bitcoin (The Baffler) In early 2018, millions of digital clocks across Europe began falling behind time. Few took notice at first as slight disruptions in the power supply caused bedside alarms and oven timers running on the frequency of electric current to begin lagging. Three minutes were lost in January, three more in February. In March, the Brussels-based European Network of Transmission System Operators of Electricity issued an apology. Whoever was causing the unprecedented power shortages “must cease”—but, until they did, the thirty-six nations plugged into Europe’s common electric grid were tasked with ratcheting up their voltage frequencies to speed the continent’s clocks back up. European authorities soon traced the power fluctuations to North Kosovo, a region commonly described as one of Europe’s last ganglands. Since 2015, its major city, Mitrovica, has been under the control of Srpska Lista, a mafia masquerading as a political party. Around the time Srpska came to power, North Kosovo’s electricity consumption surged. Officials at the Kosovo Electricity Supply Company in Prishtina, Kosovo’s capital city, told me that the region now requires 20 percent more power than it did five years ago. Eventually, it became clear why: across the region, from the shabby apartment blocks of Mitrovica to the cellars of mountain villages, Bitcoin and Ethereum rigs were humming away, fueling a shadow economy of cryptocurrency manufacturing.