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beauty-and-passion · 4 years ago

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Time to talk about the flower shirt

You read the title. Time to talk about this.

This is the infamous flower shirt Thomas put on in his store and, since the fandom is the fandom, everyone started to speculate about those flowers.

At first, I didn’t want to do it. They’re just flowers and other people already talked about them, so what could I possibly add to the conversation?

But while I was writing about Orange, I had to talk a moment about the orange flower. It was supposed to be a small parenthesis, just a couple of words about that.

But then I looked at the other flowers and what other people told/not told about them and how some didn’t find Patton’s flower... so here I am, adding my two cents to this theme.

You needed it? Probably not. Well, I’m writing it anyway.

So let’s take a closer look at those flowers and see each one in detail:

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Roman: Red rose

Should I really explain why it’s perfect for Roman? Red roses are the universal symbol of love. Basically in all cultures red roses symbolize passion, true love, romance and desire. Also, according to this website, even the shade has a meaning! In fact, the deeper the red shade is, the stronger is the passion.

And even the number of red roses has a meaning! In this case, we have only one single red rose and that "represents love at first sight, or if it’s coming from a long-term partner, they are saying “you are still the one”.”

You know what that made me think? About Thomas telling Roman “You’re my hero”. A perfect symbol that he was “still the one” for Thomas.

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Orange: Lantana camara

This is an incredibly peculiar flower.

Lantana Camara symbolizes severity and rigour. And this alone can be analyzed in all possible ways, but there are other interesting details about this plant I think it's worth mentioning.

Lantana is toxic for livestock, such as cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and goats. According to Wikipedia, previous studies suggested it could be toxic for humans too, especially the green unripe berries. However "other studies have found evidence which suggests that its fruit poses no risk to humans".

Lantana is a freaking invasive plant. In some areas, it's so predominant, to reduce biodiversity, because its presence "can significantly slow down the regeneration of forests, by preventing the growth of new trees". Also, as if this isn't enough, this plant can also produce toxic chemicals which inhibit other plant species.

Lantana has also a great adaptability, that helped it to be so invasive: it can live in a wide range of different environmental conditions, it can survive long periods without water, heck it's even resistant to fire. It's not a plant you can underestimate. Like Orange, I assume.

But Lantana isn't just an invasive plant. Lantana has always been used for medical purposes, because it showed good antimicrobial, fungicidal and insecticidal properties and its extract helps against respiratory infections and ulcers.

Also, since it doesn't have many pests or diseases, lantana became a common ornamental plant. It even attracts butterflies!

In other words: isn't that the perfect plant to symbolize the double nature of a dark side? It can be a threat, change the environment, destroy and even kill. But it can also be a medicine, something useful, something beautiful.

Whoever Orange is, Lantana camara tells us that, whithout a doubt, he’s a dark side.

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Janus: Sunflower

Do you think Janus isn't perfect enough as he is? Do you think there's not enough husband material in the snek?

Well, you’re wrong and the sunflower is here to prove it.

Sunflower symbolizes loyalty, adoration, longevity, vitality, worship. Now add this up to the sunflower’s behaviour and how it follows the sun... and you’ll get Janus. Janus literally acts like a sunflower: Thomas is his sun and everything Janus does is for him. His whole existence is centered around Thomas.

But we already knew that, because it's the same message that shone through his playlist. Everything about Janus tells us how much he adores Thomas, from his canonical behavior in the series, to his playlist, to this flower.

Oh, do you need another proof that this is flower is perfect for Janus? Some societies use sunflowers as religious symbols. Ah, some good ol' reference to religion: it’s like being in his playlist all over again.

And, of course, sunflowers are used for a variety of reasons, like cooking oils, skin care and so on. Even the flower says self care.

This man is perfect.

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Remus: Green chrysanthemum

Here's another interesting flower.

Chrysanthemum symbolizes death and it’s the typical flower used for funerals. And I thought this was its universal meaning. It was perfect for Remus just like that.

But then I found out that Europeans use chrysanthemums for funerals and to honor the dead. This flower actually has a whole lot of meanings, some completely different from this.

In China, for example, chrysanthemums are associated with wealth, prosperity and long life. Also they're symbols of new life and reincarnations, so they're the perfect gift for old people or newborns.

While in Japan chrysanthemums are symbols of power and royalty. And that's even more fitting for Remus, because he's a Duke, so he is royalty.

But chrysanthemum also symbolizes friendship - and not just "a friendship", but a meaningful one. It's a symbol of loyalty, devotion, romantic/platonic love and, in general, positive energy. It's a flower with an incredibly strong meaning, so it can't be given too lightly.

And this makes it even more perfect for Remus. It's a flower with a huge plurality of meanings, it's both associated with life and death, it's powerful and it's royalty.

Also, you can eat it. Isn't that the perfect Remus flower?

(On a side note: please notice how chrysanthemums and sunflowers are both associated with joy, loyalty and devotion. I would have never considered "joy" a common trait between Janus and Remus while loyalty and devotion... well, they both care about Thomas and his career and they both work for him despite not being accepted, so I can see why those are common traits.)

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Patton: Nemophila

Surprise surprise, this flower wasn't easy to find. I’ve never heard of it, so I had to search among endless lists of blue flowers, hoping to find one that would perfectly match the one on the shirt.

And that’s how I found nemophila.

First of all: nemophila is also known as "Baby Blue Eyes" and it's an extremely rare color to find in nature. It’s very famous in Japan, thanks to the Hitachi Seaside Park. Open this link: it’s a literal sea of blue and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Of course, it attracts people every year.

Nemophila represents prosperity, congratulations on success and victory. Not the first things you would associate with Patton, right?

Well, while I was searching more informations about this flower, I found out this website about the essence of Baby Blue Eyes and the passage I quoted down below has the exact same words you can find on that link:

With its pronounced affinity for water, the Baby Blue Eyes flower essences addresses qualities of tender sensitivity, innocence and trust associated one’s early childhood relationship to the father, or other significant masculine figures that are in some way disturbed.

Very often the father was absent, or there was a lack of support or genuine presence. The Baby Blue Eyes type attempts over time to cover this wound of vulnerability with a false “hardening,” such as emotional distancing, mistrust, cynicism or spiritual alienation. It is a flower that can be equally helpful for men or women, although it is especially needed for many men who struggle to become strong, by disowning their pain.

So nemophilia’s essence has qualities associated with childhood, to the father figure and attempts to “repress” and hide emotions.

That’s Patton. That’s him, period. The childhood-related emotions, that are linked to Patton’s longing for “a simpler time”. The mentions of a father figure - who migh be absent or showing lack of support (like, idk, suggesting you should die so your friends live?). And the attempt to “cover the vulnerability” doesn’t remind you anything? Like the Nostalgia episodes?

This flower is Patton.

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Logan: Blue petunia

I would like to say, from the bottom of my heart, a huge "FUCK YOU" to this flower, because I spent TWO DAYS searching all the blue flowers in the world and all possible variants, asking myself why this goddamn flower looked so familiar and why it was so hard to find. Blue isn't even a common color in nature, so why couldn't I find it?

I've learned more about blue flowers in these two days than in my entire life. I've searched among flowers I never saw before, like glandora diffusa, leschenaultia and omphalodes verna. I was so desperate to consider this flower a new species, with the petals of a bellflower and the corolla of a morning glory. I even found a goddamn chinese variant of the morning glory that was somehow similar but not that much and why, WHY this was so hard to find?!

And then, after two days and a lot more desperation, I remembered: my dear friend @reptilianwithscallions told me about a post they made, regarding this shirt and the flowers. Maybe they had some idea about Logan's flower?

Well, let's all thank my saviour and this post, because otherwise I would've kept searching until the end of my days.

Long story short, Logan's flower is a fucking blue petunia.

And it's a very peculiar choice, because petunias have multiple meanings, several of which can be contradictory.

In general, petunia symbolizes anger and resentment. It reminds someone that you're still angry or disappointed by their actions and you haven’t gotten over the things that caused these feelings.

Oh my, I didn't know we were back in Logan's playlist. It's basically what he kept expressing towards Thomas with his songs: that he was angry at Thomas for his decision, that he doesn't approve that Thomas hasn't "a real job" and so on. Petunia is a flower that screams passive-aggressive, so it's perfect for Logan.

But petunia's meaning deeply changes, depending on the color of the flower. And while petunia in general symbolizes anger, a blue petunia is a symbol of peacefulness, intimacy and deep trust, shared between two or more people. It's so wholesome, because the deep trust reminds me - again - of Logan's playlist and how it ended: no matter what, he and Thomas are always best friends.

Also, petunia flowers have even a secret meaning behind. Since they’re also gifted to new neighbors or to people who have just moved into a new home, they represent a perfect welcome and a way to express affection and kindness to others.

You’re lucky to be so wholesome, you tricky flower.

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Virgil: Perennial Geranium

Geranium is a confused flower.

Some of the other flowers have conflicted meanings, but not as much as this flower. These are the most common meanings I found:

Folly or Stupidity

Gentility and kind nature

Clever minds

Ingenuity

Melancholy

Perfect gift for a bride

You can gift it to someone with whom you have planned a meeting

You can gift it to someone with whom you haven't planned a meeting, just to make them feel welcomed

True Friendship

See? It’s confused.

Aside from jokes, this variety of meanings is due to its great diffusion: since geraniums grow everywhere, every culture gave them a different meaning. And sometimes these meanings depend on the situation too.

Awww, isn't it perfect for Virgil? He can be good and bad at the same time. Anxiety can be bad for Thomas and detrimental for his life, but it can also be the alarm Thomas needs. It depends on the situation.

And, just like geraniums in general symbolize positive emotions, happiness and friendship, so Virgil is in general a good guy. All he does is for Thomas' wellbeing, not against him.

And this is confirmed by the vast use of geranium's essential oil. It's one of the most popular and it has a ton of properties: anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-depressant, decongestant, relaxing and so on. Just like our Virge boy can be incredibly useful under the right circumstances. (Did someone say "Flirting with social Anxiety"?)

Also, geraniums are simple, humble flowers that usually grow outside, but then we take them and make them part of our homes. Once again, it’s Virgil: he's an outsider, he's humble, he talks bad about himself - but Thomas and the others took him and made him part of the famILY anyway.

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Thomas: Cherry blossom

I searched this flower everywhere and the only one that looks like the one on the shirt is the cherry blossom. Why did Thomas make a cherry blossom with eight petals, when they all have five? I have no idea. Is this a different flower, maybe? Maybe, but I’m done: I've looked at enough flowers and I don’t have any strength left.

As you probably already know, cherry blossoms are extremely important in Japan. They're beautiful, they're everywhere and they're meaningful.

Why? Because cherry blossoms are considered the perfect metaphor for human existence. When they blossom it's a pink ocean, a party, people go to admire them - but they’re short lived, because in two weeks, the blossoms start to fall. It's just like human life: a small, rich, glorious parenthesis in the void. Something little and precious that ends soon.

But cherry blossoms also symbolize rebirth, optimism, hopes and dreams. When they bloom, it means springtime is coming and spring has always been associated with renewal.

That’s a very good choice for character Thomas. He’s basically a cherry blossom, the whole series is: something that reminds us how beautiful life is, how multi-faceted, how important. Just like Thomas' single being encompasses seven different sides of himself, so life presents a wide range of choices, of aspects, of flavours. All beautiful, all worthy of appreciation, no matter how different they can be from you and your experience.

And this becomes even more important, in relation to the passage of time and the transience of life. Because life is short and, after that, there won't be any more time to appreciate anything.

In addition to that, I would like to point out how the theme of passage of time is something we already saw in the series. And not just one time, but several. Since the first season, we have episodes all around the concept of growing up, growing old, not being a child anymore, becoming an adult. And the last Aside keeps going in this direction. It's clear this is a big theme and its connection with the cherry blossoms proves it.

But why is the flower so different on the shirt? Because Thomas wanted to mess up with us? Probably. Almost certainly. Once again, thank you Mr. Sanders for making me question everything.

The floor is (figuratively) yours now: if you have any other information, thoughts or opinions, feel free to share them.

_______________________________

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arya-skywalker · 2 years ago

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Starved for attention Part 3 (Sanders Sides Fanfic)

Summary: Things get worse before they get better. Virgil brings Patton to visit. Janus sees an opportunity and takes it.

Note: So it’s been a while, but it’s finally done! My first multichapter is finally complete and I couldn’t be more proud. Let me know what you think!

TWs: nightmares, imprisonment

AO3 link

Part 1

Part 2

~*~

The wind howled outside his tiny barred window, lightning flashed and thunder rumbled.

“That’s a side of myself that I would prefer not to feed into,” Thomas’s voice echoed, over and over again, growing louder with each repetition until it was nearly deafening.

The cell walls shook and moved inwards with an eerie groan, as if to crush him, destroying anything in their path.

The candelabra fell with a clatter, pinning Janus to the floor as the candles set fire to everything in the cell.

He screamed.

Janus woke with a start, falling out of bed. His breathing ragged, his gaze flitted around the room.

The bookshelf and table were knocked over. The cell was smaller. It was definitely smaller. Not by much, but he could tell. But there was no storm, at least, not yet.

The candles. The fire. The light was too much. Janus grabbed the memory box and laboriously dragged himself towards the barred door. If the cell did catch fire, the logical place to be was close to the exit, right?

Janus curled up by the door, pressing his face against the bars. He made it.

Virgil suddenly appeared. “Janus, what the hell happened? Are you okay? I felt... something bad. What—“ He blinked, then crouched by the door, reaching through the bars to put a hand on Janus’s shoulder. His voice softened. “Hey, hey. I’m here. Breathe.”

Janus shuddered, holding onto Virgil’s hand. “Too much light. Too much light for a dark ssside,” he managed. “The cell is mad. Virgil, pleasse.”

Virgil squeezed his hand. “I got it. Deep breaths, Jan.” He snapped his free hand, making a cloud of darkness whirl through the cell, putting out the candles and fairy lights. “There. Better?”

Janus forced himself to relax, then nodded. “Thank you.”

Virgil rubbed gentle circles in his back. “Princey is an idiot. I shoulda been here to help with the whole redecorating thing. Sorry,” he muttered.

“No, no. It’s not your fault.” Janus leaned towards him, trying to ignore the bars getting in the way.

“In for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, out for eight seconds. I’m here. Just breathe,” Virgil said. “I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Janus breathed with Virgil, silent for a few minutes. Eventually he managed to actually relax, feeling much safer with Virgil by his side.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Janus mumbled. “Sstay with me, please?”

Virgil squeezed his hand. “I’ll stay as long as I can,” he said gently. “Do you want me to call Roman down to fix his mess?”

Janus hesitated a moment, then nodded, fixing his posture so he didn’t look quite as pathetic. But he didn’t let go of Virgil’s hand.

Virgil did the rising up gesture with his free hand. “Roman, we need you. Get your ass over here!”

Roman rose up with a huff. “What could you possibly need that would require such a rude summoning?” Then he blinked a few times and frowned. “Hey! What happened to my things?”

“The cell isss mad,” Janus muttered.

“Be nice, Princey. He had a nightmare, and you’re going to fix it,” Virgil said.

“Of course, I’ll make it good as new!”

“No!” Janus hissed. “Get rid of it. Leave only the bare minimum. I warned you not to go too far and you didn’t lissten!”

Roman held up his hands. “Okay, okay! Fine, I’ll do it.” He sighed dramatically. “Some people just can’t appreciate art.” He flicked his wrist, making the fairy lights, bookshelf, and music player disappear. “Better?”

Janus squinted at the cell’s remaining furniture. “Lesss,” he said. “Get rid of the candles and candelabra. Make everything lesss fancy.”

Roman wrinkled his nose. “Are you sure?”

Janus nodded. “Jusst do it.”

“You heard him,” Virgil said.

“I can’t believe you two. But fine, if it’ll make you feel better….” Roman did as they asked.

“Thank you, my prince,” Janus said, taking Roman’s hand and kissing it. “It is greatly appreciated. Even with such a simple design, I feel your touch.”

Luckily that seemed to mollify the prince. The poor man needed all the praise and admiration he could get.

~*~

The days fell into a schedule of sorts, the other sides taking shifts of who would keep Janus company. The cell wouldn’t risk hurting them; as long as Janus wasn’t alone he was safe. At least, that was the theory for the time being, and it hadn’t been proven wrong yet.

Virgil always stayed with him overnight to ward away the nightmares, a bittersweet twist on when Janus used to comfort Virgil when he had nightmares. Roman or Logan would come by with some food and stay a little while, then the other would visit. They took turns stealing memories for him to avoid suspicion, but there was still a risk.

“Go on, spit it out,” Janus said, looking over at Virgil’s hunched form. The anxious side had been fidgeting more so than usual. “Come now.”

Virgil rubbed his face. “I don’t like this,” he grumbled.

“Don’t like what exactly?” Janus tilted his head to the side.

Virgil gestured vaguely. “Fucking everything! You being stuck down here. You being sick. Stealing the memories under Patton’s nose.” He exhaled sharply. “If we just... told him—“

“No.”

“Why not?”

Janus looked away, fiddling with his gloves. “He hatess me.”

Virgil sighed. “I thought he hated me too, but he didn’t. He’s... really nice actually. If you just... give him a chance,” he said quietly.

“No.”

“Janus, please. He’s gonna find out, one way or another. And if he finds out the wrong way, he’s gonna be hurt.”

“I don’t care.”

“He’s part of Thomas, just like you and me,” Virgil said.

“Not like you and me,” Janus hissed. “Patton was never sshoved into the dark! Patton never had to fight to be heard! Thomas lovess Patton. He hatess me.”

Virgil groaned. “I hate that I’m the one to tell you this, but you really just gotta let them get to know you. They’ll warm up to you, just like they did to me. I’m a part of their little fam now.”

Janus frowned. “Roman is different. Logan is ssstill cold and detached, as much as he claims to care. Patton would hate me.”

Virgil sighed, then put a hand lightly on his arm. “Patton would want to help too. Just talk to him, please? I’ll be in the cell with you if you want.”

Janus leaned into the touch. “Mm. Fine. Jussst sso you ssshut up about it,” he muttered.

Virgil chuckled. “Alright. Tomorrow?”

Janus nestled closer. “Tomorrow,” he agreed reluctantly. “I ssstill hate him.”

“Understandable. Get some rest, Jan.”

~*~

Janus woke with Virgil’s arms around him. “Morning, sleepy head,” Virgil said. “You ready?”

“Mm. Tea and memory first?” Janus muttered, not wanting to move.

“Patton’s bringing the memory today. But I have tea and food,” Virgil said quietly.

Janus stiffened. “You didn’t sssay he’d be the one with the memory!” he hissed. “He knowssss?!”

Virgil winced. “He doesn’t know everything. Just... some things. He knows we’ve been visiting you and that memories will help. He doesn’t know how bad it is.”

“Changed my mind. I don’t want to ssssee him,” Janus grumbled.

“Jan, please? You promised.”

“I did not promissse nor ssswear nor give my word in any way.”

Virgil cursed under his breath and pulled away, untangling himself from the blankets. Janus reached for him instinctively, unable to stop a whine from escaping.

“No! Dammit, Deceit! You can’t just do this,” Virgil snapped.

Janus froze. Deceit. “Virgil?” he asked slowly.

“We are all trying to help you. Patton included.” Virgil glared at him. “You said you’d give him a chance. So give him that chance.”

“Maybe I wass lying to get you to drop the ssubject.”

“You’re back-sliding. I know you can be better than this.”

“You sssaid it yourssself. I am Deceit,” Janus spat. “You know me.”

Virgil groaned. “He’s coming, whether you want him to or not. And if you’re going to be a brat about it, I’m leaving now.”

Janus flinched. “Don’t. Pleassse.” He sat up and tried to stand, inwardly cursing his still-weak legs.

“If you fall, I’m not helping you back up,” Virgil warned, then sighed, visibly deflating. “Fine, I won’t leave yet. Just eat something, if you can.”

Janus gripped the bed-frame. “How long do we have?”

“Dunno. Ten to twenty minutes?”

“Help me walk around the cell. I don’t want to eat.”

Virgil frowned. “Jan, you need to eat. You gotta get your strength up.”

“I want to be able to walk to him.” Janus straightened, glaring at him in challenge.

Virgil rubbed his brow. “Fine.” He walked over and offered his arm. “You wanna just hold on?”

Janus nodded and grabbed his arm. “Ready. One step at a time,” he said, then carefully took a step. Then another. His legs wobbled but with Virgil beside him, he didn’t fall. One lap. Two. Three.

“That’s enough. Don’t strain yourself too much,” Virgil said, stopping by the bed.

Janus exhaled slowly and nodded, picking up his tea and taking a few slow sips.

It wasn’t long before Patton arrived.

Janus hissed, whirling to face his adversary— then blinked, confused. This was Patton? This scared young man wearing a hoodie like a cape and carrying a box stuffed with toys?

“H-hi there, kiddo,” Patton said. “Are... are you okay? I’m so so sorry I didn’t come sooner!” His eyes looked surprisingly watery behind his glasses. Morality wasn’t crying, was he? That would be ridiculous.

Janus narrowed his eyes. “Thisss isss your fault! Don’t pretend you don’t know!”

Patton frowned. “But I didn’t know...” He glanced past Janus to Virgil.

“He didn’t,” Virgil said. “Dee, c’mon. He didn’t know what he was doing.”

Janus bared his fangs. “I don’t like you, Morality. You sssay lying isss wrong. Lying isss part of who I am.”

“Well, lying is wrong, but that doesn’t mean you’re evil. You don’t deserve this!”

Janus watched him a moment longer. “What’ssss in the box?” he finally asked.

“Oh!” Patton brightened. “I brought some toys to keep you busy and some stuffed animals. And... a memory. Logan said memories help?”

“I’ll take the memory, not the toys. The cell would only ruin them, after all.” Reluctantly, Janus sat back down on the bed. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to experience the memory while standing.

“Oh. Umm okay. Sorry, kiddo.” Patton put down the box, then held out the memory.

Janus snatched the memory out of his hands. “I am not your child,” he said flatly, then exhaled slowly and opened the memory-box.

Thomas was at a party. A rather large party, with drinks involved. Some asshole was bothering a young woman, who Thomas knew in passing. Well enough to tell she was uncomfortable. Thomas approached, lying by pretending to be her boyfriend to get the creep to back off. It worked, and Thomas quickly apologized to her.

Janus closed the box, feeling the soft flow of energy the memory provided. Much better.

“Did it work?” Patton asked, wringing his hands.

Janus nodded, passing the memory back. He thought for a moment, glancing between them. Perhaps… “Virgil, I would like to speak with Patton alone for a moment,” Janus said.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You both okay with that?” When they both nodded, Virgil shrugged. “Alright, whatever. Play nice.” He left, taking his time.

Once he was gone, Janus turned to the moral side. “Do you really want to know what it was like?”

Patton blinked. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about, kiddo.”

Janus smiled sideways. “You want to understand, yess? What better way to do that than to live in my shoesss?”

“I... I dunno....”

“Oh it won’t be long, don’t worry your little head about it. All you need to do is sssstay in the cell. And let me out.” Janus watched his reaction. “You sssaid you never wanted me ssstuck here, correct?”

Patton fiddled with his sleeves. “I... I guess so.”

Janus grinned and copied Patton’s appearance. “Wonderful!”

He took a deep breath and walked to the door. The door. The door which was open. No one was stopping him.

He turned before crossing the threshold. “Thank you, Morality,” he said, then slipped outside, locking the cell door. Patton would probably be able to sink out himself, if he thought of it. Which meant he might not have much time.

Janus was halfway down the hall when he felt the thrill of a summons. An actual summons! Thomas was finally ready for him.

#aryaskywalker writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #anxceit #roceit #totally didn’t forget to post here

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brandstifter-sys · 4 years ago

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Sonnets

Word Count: 2144 (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety with some Creativitwins

Rating: T+

Warnings: Sexual themes, brotherly angst, talk of death

Roman finds a journal and assumes it’s Remus’ but when Remus says it’s not his Roman leaves him with it, so he has some time to read. Little does he know what will come from perusing that book.

-----

Remus was chaos, he didn't bend to anyone else's rules unless he wanted to. Almost nothing was off the table for him—gore, violence, monsters, pain—but he had limits. Don't steal Janus' hat when he isn't holding or wearing it, because an angry Janus meant silence, or worse being silenced and alone. Never ever get too gross with Patton, because he will scream and cry and flash those hideous puppy dog eyes! Stay at least 6 feet away from Logan or suffer through a lecture on how little influence the duke held. Never let Roman hurt himself so bad he can't heal. And never ever read Virgil's diaries.

Remus was happily throwing shurikens at a large canvas with paint balloons, having fun despite only hitting the ones filled with red. It was just a little annoying to only have one color on a solid white background, and even more annoying when it was Roman's colors staring at him. Roman hadn't been much of a good brother in the past few years, and it stung to think about how they drifted apart. How almost everyone ran from him to Roman. It hurt to be so lonely.

"Greetings, Your Disgrace!" Roman said as he entered the castle atrium suddenly. Remus threw another star that lodged itself in the canvas with a splash and a thump, and grinned manically at the unsettled prince.

"Well if it isn't MacBetty himself!" Remus said and cracked his neck sharply, "What hell did I probably unleash on you today?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Roman scoffed and held up a black journal with sparkling green trim, "You left this in the common area."

"Did I?" he asked and righted his head with a sickening pop. He was as bad as Roman about collecting cool journals and never filling them, so it could be his, even if he didn't recognize it. Roman handed it to him and crossed his arms.

"It would appear so. If Logan yells at me for leaving my notes lying about, he will certainly yell at me for yours."

Remus hummed softly and ran his fingers over the cover, ignoring the jab. The trim pricked his fingers as they glided over it. It was a nice journal, but definitely not something he conjured up. He supposed it might have been a gift, but that would mean someone made something for him—someone other than Janus, and maybe just one other side, but he remembered every gift Virgil ever gave him.

"He likes to yell. Are you sure this is mine?" he questioned, still learning the rise and fall of the trim.

"I assumed, considering the design. I don't like to open other people's journals," Roman answered. Remus knew he was scared of leafing through it, probably expecting some security monster popping out the second he opened it. He didn't blame him for that one, but it stung nonetheless.

"Me neither, but now I'm curious!" Remus laughed and opened to a random page. It was all hand-written poetry. Interesting!

"It's a poetry book! Wanna hear one? It could be a hint!" Remus wiggled his eyebrows. Roman let out a short sigh but went tense.

"I have other things to do. I came to drop off the book and now I must depart. Farewell." Roman bowed and sank out with flourish. He left far too quickly for comfort.

"Love you too, nice seeing you again, don't be a stranger," Remus pouted and went back to his room, too bummed to paint anymore.

He rose up and flopped on his bed with the journal open. Some angsty poetry might make him feel better. He got comfy and let his eyes traverse the page

My mouth is dry Sugary sweet and kind Choking me with my own tongue Out of everything, that saccharine isn't a lie

Remus pursed his lips. That one was really short, and with the talk of lies, he had to wonder. Was this actually Roman's? Did he want to share this with him covertly? Remus bit back a squeal at the thought and kept reading with some hope.

Lost in translation Obstinate and selfish Get over yourself Avoidance builds pressure Never any quiet when you snap

Remus giggled, knowing exactly who that one was about! Someone pissed the author off! And he knew that that person pissed Roman off a lot! He turned the page, expecting to learn more about this author, believing they could be his brother wanting to reconnect. He was a little surprised to find a skull doodled in the corner but brushed it off.

I want to pull him from the shadows and into my heart Will he see me? Will he disappear if I reach for his hand? Am I blind and staggering in desperation? Someone like him would be better without me Someone like him deserves someone better No star deserves to succumb to a black hole

That one hurt. Remus wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. He knew that feeling all too well. The one side who made him want to obey, the side that made his heart flutter like the bats in his tummy—that side was his best friend and then he left. He missed his partner in crime and he wished that Virgil would come back, just for a visit, and spend time with him again. But that wasn't happening and he had a whole book to read about an author he could really connect with, Roman or not.

He went through several poems that were angsty and angry, full of self-loathing. With each piece he read, the more he doubted it was Roman. The language wasn't formal enough and it didn't match his style at all! It was good stuff, most of it, and Remus kind of hoped the real author would be willing to collaborate with him. He liked this guy.

Like the sun overhead, you're on fire The big man has a little golden boy Pompous and cruel with haughty desire Which one of us are you gonna destroy?

Darkness and shadow that cannot be lit Overshadowing you to make it stop Use that hubris to land another hit I'll keep fighting until the curtains drop

You think you're Hercules when you're so weak Rise like a phoenix Icarus, just try Maybe you'll learn what it means to be meek Until that day you won't see me cry

I will rain on your parade every damn time Stopping stupidity is my worst crime

Okay so that one threw him for a loop. It would take a few minutes to piece it together. Remus decided that he could assume it was about Roman this time. Princey loved the classics and he had a pet phoenix. This author had some beef with him! Remus hoped for more anger at Roman with the next poem, because he certainly had enough pent up with the snobby, best-friend stealing, always got the spotlight prince. He didn’t get that catharsis, he got more than he bargained for.

I find comfort in breathing in his scent Even if his hands are mine for tonight If he asks, I don't know where his clothes went What I'm doing is wrong but it feels right

If I close my eyes I can taste his kiss A dream in a nightmare clouding my mind Hearing my name on his lips would be bliss To pin him down, our fingers intertwined

I long to stare into piercing jade pools So he thinks of me while I stake my claim I want him to never want to let go I always thought that love was just for fools But on his green sash, love, or something, came I almost regret that he'll never know

This was definitely not a book the author wanted to share. Remus was pretty sure that his face was going to melt off. Now he really wanted to figure out who wrote these! Someone actually liked him like that at some point! It definitely wasn't Princey in that poem—Remus still had the sash mentioned! He was just the tiniest bit turned on, but most of his hype went into his famous wiggles.

"You're so dead!"

Remus jolted up and beamed. Virgil never stopped by anymore, so when he popped up threateningly, Remus was too happy to care or put the pieces together.

"And how do you wanna kill me? I have some suggestions!" he sang and shimmied. Virgil scowled and crossed his arms.

"Have Janus wipe your memory and give it back."

"What, the book?" Remus questioned and held it up. Virgil snatched it and held it to his chest protectively. Remus' eyes widened in horror.

"You wrote all that?! And I read it!? Oh no no no no no! I had no idea—I'll get Hisster Myde and scrub it away with steel wool! Dammit I am so sorry, Sca–Virgil!" Remus yelped and got up to pace. His only rule about Virgil, broken! The only rule he wanted to follow—tarnished!

"Were you about to call me 'Scabby Doo' again?" Virgil scoffed, hiding the fear and hurt he felt.

"No, 'Scare Bear,' something kinda cute but that’s not important right now!" Remus answered, "I read your stuff without asking! I might be a crazed Camus Stranger boy, but I have some standards!"

"Remus. Breathe. You're gonna wipe this trash from your memory and it'll be okay," Virgil tried to soothe him, only for the duke to go rigid.

"Trash!?" Remus snarled and spun on his heels and marched up to Virgil until the lumbering emo hit the wall, confused and scared.

"It's not trash! I know trash! I eat it for breakfast! That book holds some of the best stuff my critical creative ass has read in ages!" Remus snapped and glared up at him with a fire in his eyes.

"What?"

"Those poems are great! I was gonna find the author and beg on my knees like a needy subby bitch to collab with him because holy shit! I felt something with each one!"

"Even the one with the skull doodle on the page?" Virgil squeaked, his face a beautiful shade of red. Remus smiled sadly.

"Yeah, that one hit a little too close to home. I got all teary eyed. Thinking about it now after reading that saucy sonnet, it really hurts!"

"I uh—" Virgil stammered, "I'm, uh, 'm sorry for the sash and the whole—"

"If you apologize for anything else I am going to lip wrestle that apology away!" Remus cut him off, "Because dammit, Virgil, I love you, even if you don't feel the same way anymore. No more self-hate and no more doubting yourself."

"Puppy," Virgil said and finally took back some control, guiding Remus back and having him sit down, "I can't promise I'll be able to stop that completely, but if you can stand a little bit of it, I wouldn't mind making that collab a date."

"Really!?" Remus grinned making Virgil's eyeshadow turn purple, "Can we paint too? And watch scary movies? And make out? And then try and woo each other with some dark prose until one of us caves and asks the other to be his boyfriend? And then f—"

"Yeah," Virgil cut him off and pressed a finger to Remus' lips, "Except for the part about caving. Will you–I mean, only if you want to, would you–and it’s cool if you say ‘no’ since things might be a little weird but—”

“Band-aid, Emoraptor!” Remus cut him off, like he used to do back in the day when Virgil started down one of his nervous tangents.

“Maybe be my boyfriend now?" Virgil said quickly and winced.

"Yes!" Remus cheered and dragged Virgil into a hug, tumbling on the sheets, "Loom over me like a cypress tree and stay with me until I taste death for a night."

"Stay here and cuddle until we pass out like touch starved gremlins? Only if you visit me in the abyss until this world calls," Virge mused and wrapped his arms around the duke, curling around him protectively.

"And then the next," Remus hummed softly and kissed his hand, “But you’re always in my dreams!” Virgil buried his face in Remus’ neck and smiled against his skin. Who would have thought that they would wind up here?

Roman sat on his bed and stared at the collage of pictures he had on the wall. In the very center was an old drawing of him and Remus in front of a castle. He sighed wistfully and stared at it, admiring Remus' work. He hoped that sneaking into Virgil's room was worth it—he wanted Remus to be happy even if he couldn't provide that joy. Maybe one day he’d be able to, but until then, he hoped he got his best friend and brother together to make some amends if not more.

#remus sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #dukexiety #creativitwins #roman sanders #sex mention tw #angst tw #creativitwins angst #sandyscribed #ask to tag

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sanders-sides-dnd · 3 years ago

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Family Reunion Chapter 1

Here it is! The beginning of our adventures. I’m sorry this took so long. This was the first session of the first game we played together, everything the characters do was the choice of their players. This includes the romance, I later worked their pairings into their backstories to add some clarity. If you have any questions for us or the characters our askbox is open. Wordcount: 5048 TWs: Kidnapping, swearing, violence, implied child death, implied child abuse, ghosts, hunting, dog Pairings: Logince, Moceit Taglist (ask to be added): @crazydemigod666 @newtnotfound @star-crossed-shipper @3amthebitchinghour @s4moose

The group woke up and felt a tight rope tying them all together. They looked around the darkness and most were able to identify they were in a cell, they also saw Prince Roman sitting outside the cell. He softly stroked Kai, the paladin Patton the Moral’s hound. Roman didn’t notice his friends had woken. Logan, a human wizard and partner of Prince Roman, recognised the cell. They were in the castle of Creativiton which explained why Roman was not locked up. His parents wouldn’t lock up their heir. But why were they locked up? Logan was the first to try and get Roman’s attention.

“Why are we here?” Logan asked. Roman’s black eyes lit up when his partner spoke. “What happened?” The group all looked at Roman. Kai stuck his head through the bars to try and get to his owner. Roman felt guilty, this was all his fault. He remembered what had happened. They were happily walking through the forest, unaware how close they strayed to Roman’s kingdom. They were ambushed by familiar guards, his mothers personal battalion, they knocked out his friends before they could even fight. They were all tied up and brought back to the castle. He was separated from his friends and brought to his less than pleased parents who promptly banished him to his room to wait, however he clearly didn’t stay there long. “Are you all okay?” Roman asked full of concern. “We were ambushed on our journey.” The half-orc answered as he slid a cup of water through the bars towards his friends. Patton, being only a few feet tall, easily slid out of the ropes and inspected the water. “My parents are… displeased we left. They wished to speak to all of us, I was waiting for you all to wake up.” Patton brought the water to Logan to inspect, he was much smarter after all. Logan nodded and took a sip, Patton followed hesitantly. Janus the deceiver, Patton’s partner, a wicked tiefling warlock, smirked and took a drink not worried if it was poisoned or not. Virgil drank too and Patton returned the cup. “Why are we in a cell?” Patton asked as he handed the cup over. “Couldn’t they have spoken to us over dinner or something not… this?” Virgil, the rogue elf, piped up. Roman looked away guiltily. Patton moved to pet his hound. “I think they’re just angry we left the castle. Although I agree, locking you up is a bit drastic.” Roman sympathised. Janus scoffed. “And tying us up is just for safety.” Janus remarked, snarky as always. “Right, totally believable.” Janus never trusted royals, the only reason he could get along with Roman is because they met away from the castle. Roman paused for a moment. “We’ve been here a few hours and I haven’t seen Remus yet.” Roman said solemnly. Prince Remus or, as he preferred, Duke Remus was not the kind to be quiet. Especially after his brother who has been gone for so long came back. Virgil knew this was weird too, he was a close friend to Remus. Well, until he abandoned him that is. Roman shook his head and got back to business. “I could break you out of here and we can leave. Or we could stay and talk to my parents… although I am starting to think fleeing might be our best move. What do you think we should do?” Roman nervously eyed a nearby guard, trying his best to stay out of sight. Virgil asked what everyone was thinking. “Did you know your parents were going to do this?” Virgil pressed. “Of course not, I have no idea why they would lock you up!” Roman defended. “You know your parents best. Do you think talking to them would work?” Virgil asked. He already knew from what he’d heard from the twins that the Queen definitely wasn’t the talking it out type but perhaps the king was? Logan spoke up after a bit of contemplation, working at the castle meant he had a good array of knowledge to help make a decision. “If Duke Remus is missing then something suspicious is going on. I vote we flee while we have the chance.” Logan concluded. “I’m sure they have a reason to want to talk! Even if they weren’t the best to their guests...” Patton opposed. He always saw the best in people, it’s what he was taught in the temple he grew up in, even when it got him in trouble. "I say we get out now and then we'll see." Janus said. He was Patton’s grounding force, bringing him back from his dream lands and reminding him of the harsh reality. “They were in a foul mood when I spoke to them earlier, I vote we get out of here.” Roman informed. "If we escape do you think your parents will send people after us?" Virgil questioned. Roman thought for a moment before replying. "Most likely, but what other choices do we have?" Roman finally replied. "What if they just kidnap us again?" "Then we'll get out again." Janus announced. Virgil knew how to do that, he’d been in these jails many times. Logan grew agitated, they needed to make a decision quickly. "We do not have time to worry about that, we must be focused on getting out for the time being!" Logan reminded them all. "The best we can do now is to get as far away as possible, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Roman added. With a nod Virgil and Patton finally gave in. Virgil quickly got to work. With his hands behind his back he quickly found the knot keeping the men together, the knot was tough but Virgil was an expert. In mere seconds the rope slacked and the men were free. Virgil knew the key to a successful escape was speed so he wasted no time beginning to pick the lock. Roman looked at the guard, he was still unaware. The bars opened with a quiet squeak. “Where to now?” Virgil whispered as they all exited the cell. They had no gear, no weapons, they weren’t in the best position. Roman remembered all the times Remus and he had snuck around the castle, trying to think of an exit. "I can lead us out of here, but we'd have to go through the main halls. There's a high chance we could be spotted." Roman whispered. "Damn, no secret passageways?" Virgil retorted with a smirk. In all his years here he had never found any but then again he wasn’t a royal. "None that I can think of right now, and none that won't be monitored by my father's men." Roman informed as the group started sneaking. “They wouldn't expect us to go through the main halls, out in the open. It's our best chance of escape." Roman looked around the corner, it seemed clear. The men kept low and ran quietly, Roman took care looking around every corner to watch for guards. Eventually they made it to sight of the door, but as Roman looked around the corner he saw the shins of a familiar human. He looked up to see the black armour his mothers battalion wore, the same colour as the man’s hair and stubble. His helmet was off so Roman could clearly see his grey eyes looking down at him. “Ah Roman, how predictable.” Remy teased as Roman rose in shame. "Remy, " Roman said grimly. "Let us pass, my friends and I have done no wrong." Without a word, guards seized the group and brought them to the throne room. Roman was set at the front of the group with the others slightly behind. They stayed silent as two royals stepped out. A tall and stocky orc woman with brown dreaded hair and a lean human warrior in a golden crown on his silver hair. The king and queen stood on a dais with one throne, looking down at their son and his party.

“Ah Roman I see your companions are awake.” The king sung. The king was a professional man, even Roman had never heard his name. He had always called him Dad or Your Majesty. This didn’t mean he was a stick in the mud, he was a happy man just a stickler for titles. “Welcome to Creativiton!” Queen Bhom Head-Crusher greeted, knowing well some of the group had been here before. The Queen was a true blood orc, married into human society. Steel and war ran through her veins. She was caring but violent and bull-headed. “Salutations.” Logan said with a controlled glare. “Pleasure.” Janus followed with a scoff. Patton tried to bow and Virgil tried not to barf. “It’s been a while since I had you in chains, Virgil.” Remy chuckled. "Can't get enough of me in chains?" Virgil shot back. “What is the meaning of this?” Roman cried, outraged at the treatment of him and his friends. They had been knocked and locked and now, just as they had a taste of freedom, chained. Queen Bhom looked across the group then let her eyes land on Roman. “When you left your brother was quite upset that you didn’t ask him to join you. He felt as if you didn’t care about him anymore. He was sad for a while but then it turned into anger.” She explained. Roman felt guilt begin to scratch at his stomach. “He wanted to find you and make you explain yourself. So he left, without telling us.” The Queen’s black eyes grew sad, but her face did not waver from it’s strong expression. "Is that all?” Janus announced. All eyes turned to him. “Hardly seems a reason to put us in chains and a cell." Janus didn’t let royals hold power over him, he had once and it ended with blood on his face and a demon in his mind. “Well, street rat, we can’t have both of our heirs just off running around in forests. We need at least one of you here or our reputation will be destroyed.” The King reasoned. He looked directly at Roman. “So we're grounding you until your brother comes back and we can sort this out together. Your friends must stand trial for treason and kidnapping but if they leave without causing trouble then I won’t stop them.” Roman blinks, momentarily thrown off guard. "He's never shown interest in fighting with us before, I didn't think this time was any different, so I didn't ask." Roman mumbled. This wasn’t like his brother. Yes he was wild and unpredictable, and he hated the castle, okay maybe it was like him. "Not to be rude, your majesty, but how is it our fault if Duke Remus felt a certain way and did certain actions? Those were of his own volition." Logan asked. “And it’s not kidnapping if Roman came with us willingly.” Virgil added. Patton raised his hand. “Your highnesses?” He addressed incorrectly. “Some of us are not even from here. How can it be treason if we aren’t citizens?” Roman put out a hand to silence his friends. He took a deep breath and stepped forward. He could stand up to his parents one on one, but both of them together is a challenge. "Mother, Father, surely you see that this is unreasonable?” Roman began. “I went with my friends of my own volition, it was in no way a kidnapping. Let them go peacefully, and I swear to stay and do whatever it takes to locate my brother. He couldn't have gone far. Let me take responsibility for him, but let my friends leave." Roman’s plan to sacrifice himself did not sit well with his friends. However, his mother looked down proudly. “Well how about a trial by combat, an orc tradition.” Queen Bhom announced proudly. The king tapped her arm gently but she gave him a reassuring glance. “If you can find your brother and bring him back then it would be quicker and we won’t have to send more guards. It’ll also prove to us that you can go out and adventure with your companions without getting yourself killed.” The queen waited for a response. Roman looked back at his friends, they all gave him enthusiastic nods. Roman pulled himself to his full height. “I accept.” With a wave of her hand the guards escorted the group to the armoury where all their gear was laying on the ground. While everyone gathered their gear Virgil turned to Remy. “Don’t miss me too much.” Virgil flirted with a wink. Remy looked away, the faint blush on his face mostly covered by his stubble. The others kept a close eye on Virgil while they gathered their stuff. Roman thought it was a good idea to have the head guard on their side. Logan and Roman looked around at the other guards protectively. “Hurry up and get your stuff before I lock you up.” Remy said in a stressed tone. Virgil began collecting his stuff while looking back at Remy. “I’m sure you’ll be looking forward to that.” Virgil shot another wink. Remy looked away awkwardly. Virgil did too as he remembered the last time before this he was locked up, it wasn’t his most graceful encounter. Janus made a gagging noise and rolled his eyes.

When everyone had their stuff Remy escorted them out of the castle and slammed the large door behind them. The streets were narrow and the group walked in sets of two. Logan looked at Roman. “You know Remus the best, where is he likely to go?” Logan asked. “Tavern.” Virgil and Roman answered in unison. Roman continued. “He’s a fan of wandering around. He’s usually at the tavern but I’ve seen him around the inn, the blacksmith, and that old burned farm.” “There’s also a hunting store he likes to visit.” Virgil added. "Maybe we should try the tavern first," Roman mused. "He's probably passed out drunk under the counter." "With so many places, perhaps it would be wise to split up?" Logan suggested. They all agreed. Roman split from the group to go to the tavern, he didn’t find Remus but the bartender did tell him they hadn’t seen the duke in a week. Logan and Janus went to the inn, they hadn’t seen him at all. Patton brought his hound and found the blacksmith, he informed him that Remus had stopped by a month ago to get some weapons sharpened. Virgil took the hunting store where he found out Remus had bought a large sum of dried meat about a month ago.

The group met up again at the gates to share their findings as they headed out to the last place on their list. The burned down farm. The sky was a dim orange as the sun disappeared. "This is worrying, to say the least," Murmured Roman. He started to look visibly concerned about his brother. "Sharpening weapons, hoarding dry rations, sounds like he was planning to go away for a while." Logan put a hand on his partner's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He knew Remus and Roman were close, this had to be affecting him a lot. "Well we were gone for a while ourselves. It's a good thing he at least has anything with him at all.” Janus reasoned, but it only made Roman’s guilt grow. “Now what is the deal with this farm?” Roman and Virgil smirked at each other before leaping into a dramatic stance. “We don’t know a lot about the farm…” Roman began suspiciously. Logan knew this song and dance. “I heard a child who was just learning to control magic lived here with her family. One day she lost control and burned down the whole farm.” Virgil explained and Roman made an explosion sound behind him. Janus and Logan rolled their eyes but Patton was entranced. "The flames didn't touch anything on the other side of the fence, and they didn't touch her younger brother's things. The girl and her parents perished, her brother was never found." Roman finished with a flourish. Patton clapped. Roman turned around and saw a charred fence. They were here.

By this time it was dark, and the darkness only enhanced how creepy the house was. Under the full moon’s glow they inspected the burned walls. The house was a husk, not even the roof remained. However a small hay bed and some kids toys were alone, only touched by a thick layer of dust. They felt a cold presence around them. Janus lit a torch to help them see. “I feel like something doesn’t want us here...” Roman said as he lit up another torch. Logan inspected the toys without touching them, they had no ash on them. Just dirt and dust. They looked like they hadn’t been touched in years. Patton closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Using his divine powers bestowed upon him after a lifetime of prayer, he could sense the presence of good and evil. He breathed deeply through his nose. He could smell the foul scent of an evil and greedy presence. It was so strong it nearly startled him. Virgil saw a flick of white in the corner of his eye but when he turned there was nothing here. "I don't like the vibes of this place. How about we just confirm that Remus isn't here and get the fuck out?" Virgil fretted. He did care about Remus, but this place seemed off. Janus saw what Patton was doing and put a hand on his shoulder. Patton nodded in response. “There’s something here.” Janus shouted to the group who was spread around the house. They all looked over. “What kind of something?” Logan asked. Janus enjoyed being vague but it annoyed Logan. Maybe that was part of why he enjoyed it. “Only one way to find out.” Janus smirked. He gave his torch to Patton and sat down. He began chanting in a language no one else could understand. “Venite Tenebrae Animae et Ostende te.” Three ghostly figures faded into view in front of him. One child and two adults. The child appeared in the corner, she looked to be hiding. The adults, a man and a woman, quickly turned on the party with a hiss. The group readied their weapons. Patton was first to attack as he grabbed his battle-axe in one hand and raised his shield with the other. He pulled back and swung his axe at the female ghost. It passed right through her. “Crap…” Patton let out before the ghost retaliated. She scratched his face with her long nails. It didn’t do much but it was enough that it pushed him back. Roman took out his great-sword and raised it above his head. The heavy steel blade and golden hilt caught the torch light. Roman was about to take a risk. But it didn’t seem like he could do much else. If Patton’s silver axes didn’t work then surely his sword wouldn’t do much more. "Don't come any closer!" He yelled with his booming orcish voice. "I am Prince Roman of Creativiton, and I command you to stay back!" When they were alive they clearly lived in Creativiton, perhaps not during Roman’s life but at some point. Perhaps they still had some loyalty. Roman’s risk paid off as the ghosts cowered, leaving them vulnerable. Janus took the opportunity. He took out his staff and held it horizontally in front of him. The staff was curved and made of light coloured apple wood. A python is etched into the wood circling to the top, the side of the staff where the head was. “Illusio.” He whispered to himself. He pointed the end of his staff towards the attacking ghosts and a wall of flames shot towards them. They were shocked and backed themselves against the wall, much more scared than Patton’s attack. The male ghost looked to his right to see the scared child. He grabbed her and held her out like a shield. “Janus, what can we do?” Virgil asked as he pulled out his daggers. Janus was their creature expert, there is nothing he hadn’t fought. “Healing items and magic.” Janus shouted back. Virgil put away his daggers. Those weren’t going to do squat. “Healing?” Virgil asked again. Janus rolled their eyes although it was hard to tell since they were pure gold. “They lose connection to the physical realm because of the healing properties.” Janus explained as the male ghost shook the child at them. Logan was the only other who knew spells. He pulled out his silver staff, the blue gems attached to the top already glowing. He pointed the staff at the female ghost, streaks of blue shot out. The ghost disappeared as it was hit by the rays of frost, only leaving behind a thin layer of ice on the wall behind it. Roman shot a proud smile at his partner. He loved watching him fight, the way his face was lit by the magical spells he trained so hard to learn was his favourite sight. “One down.” Logan said proudly. Patton took advantage of his close range and called upon his divine powers again. His hands glowed with a healing light. Janus took the opportunity to reach to the shelf behind him and pick up a few small pieces of rubble discarded there. Patton lunged at the remaining ghost, attempting to avoid the child he shielded himself with. The ghost quickly turned on him, holding out the child. Patton retracted, not wanting to harm her. Across the room Janus put away his staff and pulled out a sling. He closed his hand around the rocks and whispered into it. “Incanto lapis.” When Janus opened his hand, the pebbles had a hint of a pink glow around them. He loaded the three small rocks into the sling and took aim. “Are you aiming at the child?!” Patton yelled from across the room. He knew his partner too well at this point. The rest of the group also looked over at him “Yeah.” Janus responded. The party looked between the two, not even paying attention to the ghost. “The child is a child!” Patton scolded. “Fine.” Janus groaned. He let go of the elastic and the rocks flew towards the ghosts. The little girl put up her hands to block her face but the pebbles went around her, bouncing off the wall and hitting her attacker. The other ghost faded after the rocks hit his head, the small girl fell to the floor. She stood and looked around. She smiled brighter than the white glow around her as the party put away their weapons. “Thank you! Thank you for helping me!” She said gratefully. She looked around at them all before her eyes fell on Kai. “Oh, can I pet your dog?” She asked happily. Patton offered the girl a comforting smile. “Of course you can.” He answered. The girl floated forward and began playing with the dog. They all looked at each other. Roman kneeled down next to the girl. “Hello there.” He said gently, trying to get her attention without startling her. She looked over with a smile. “Hi!” She replied. She looked at Roman quizzically for a second. “You look my friend.” Roman looked interested. For anyone else this’d be just a confused or funny kid moment, but he had a twin brother who hung around this house. “Your friend?” He asked, trying to pull more information from the child. She turned away from Roman to continue playing with Kai. “My friend Duke. He always scares away my parents when they try to hurt me but he wasn’t here this time.” She explained happily. Roman looked up at his friends. “He came by a month ago and told me that he was leaving. I miss him. He was silly and made me laugh. He promised he’d come back though!” The story seemed to fit what Roman’s parents had told them. Remus was a prince but preferred the title of duke in non-formal settings. He always said What’s the point of being called a prince if I won’t get the crown? “He’s my brother.” Roman was excited to finally have some information but tried to keep his voice quiet and reassuring. "We haven't seen him in a while either, do you have any idea where he went? Also what’s your name?" He questioned. He felt guilty for interrogating a small dead child. “I don't remember my name, but I do know where Dukey went. He said he was going to find you. He went to the witches in the north forest to see if they knew where you was.” She stopped playing with Kai and turned to Roman who had now shifted to a sitting position. “I’m looking for my brother too! Have you seen him? His name is Elliott.” Roman looked up at Logan who shrugged. He looked at the others who also didn’t know. "I'm really sorry, we haven't seen your brother,” Roman said. "Or my brother," he added after a pause. The small girl reached out and touched his hand. She smiled at him, he couldn’t help but smile back. “Okay. If you see him tell him he’s late and Mama and Pa are going to be mad.” The child said as she started to fade. Roman gave her one last nod as she disappeared. Roman stayed sitting for a couple seconds. He felt bad for the young girl. Logan put a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “We should find somewhere to set up camp.” Janus prompted. Roman nodded and stood slowly. They all left the burnt out house and set up camp on the edge of the northern forest, lighting a small fire and dropping some of their gear. “Our supplies are low.” Logan said, rummaging through his bag. “We’ll need to find some food.” Virgil nodded. He and Logan went into the forest. “I’ll go too, we’ll have a better chance.” Janus said as he stood. “Take Kai.” Patton told him. Kai trod up next to Janus. They headed into the forest together. After a while Logan and Virgil returned. "I saw some berries.” Logan said upon returning. Virgil settled empty handed by the fire. “I thought they were blackberries. I tried to get them. I was unable to, and was damaged by the thorns." Logan put out his arms to show a number of scratches. Behind him Janus came out of the treeline. "Well it turns out having the dog with us was very beneficial." Janus said and dropped a dead fox in front of Logan. "Look what he caught." Logan flushed red as Janus nudged him jokingly. "Never speak a word of this again." Logan huffed and went over to sit in Roman’s lap, Janus picked up the fox again. "Of course not Logan, I wouldn't want to blackmail you with any of this." Janus teased as he handed the fox to Patton. After the fox was skinned and cooked they all sat around the fire eating together. Janus and Patton sat facing each other, both with food in their lap. “You know I think I left something in the forest.” Janus said as they ate. “Help me come look for it?” Patton rolled his eyes. Janus and him had been dating for near a year now. He knew his tricks. “Janus! Everyone can hear you.” Patton didn’t really mind that much. “Yeah they look very interested.” Janus laughed and nodded towards Logan and Roman. They had abandoned their dinner and started kissing instead. Virgil was playing with Kai nearby. “Even so. I would prefer something a little more romantic then just follow me into the forest.” Patton responded. Again, Patton didn’t really mind. He loved Janus no matter whether he was able to come up with fancy words or not. He just enjoyed teasing him. Janus tried to come up with something quickly but his flustered mind couldn’t find anything. “So…” Janus began. “Papaya?” Janus drew out the last sound of that word. Patton giggled, it was cute putting Janus on the spot. He was usually so sharp tongued but when it came to Patton he would lose his nerve. Patton decided to throw him a bone. He put down his plate and put his arms around Janus’ neck. “Well I don’t know anything about papaya…” He began. He got close to Janus’ pointed ear, his breath warmed it better than the fire did. “But I do know about peaches.” Without warning Janus stood, holding Patton. He ran off into the forest with his partner. Virgil enjoyed the company of Kai. Virgil didn’t talk much and Kai didn’t mind, mostly because Kai was a dog and also couldn’t talk. Virgil also enjoyed being an elf. It meant he could stay up later than his friends. He looked across at his sleeping friends, he hated just sitting around. It meant he had to think. There were lots of things he didn’t want to think about right now. He went into the forest and climbed into the trees. He jumped from one branch to another. He did this as a kid, except instead of trees it was buildings. It helped him clear his head, focusing only on where to jump next. As he jumped he heard a scamper below him. He looked around and saw a fat rabbit. “You shouldn’t be out this late.” Virgil whispered as he grabbed his shortbow. He also took out an arrow, the purple feathers were stiff against his hand as he pulled the arrow back against the string. “Goodnight little bunny.” Virgil hummed as he let go of the string. He gathered the rabbit and took it back to the camp. There were just enough embers left in the fire to cook it. He stored it in his bag and found a place to sit against a tree. The other four were huddled together, sleeping in one big pile. Even Kai was with them. He felt a little left out, but he needed to be alone to meditate. Virgil closed his eyes, signalling the end to another day of adventure.

#sanders sides d&d #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #ts roman #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #janus sanders #ts janus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #remy sanders #ts remy #logince #moceit

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just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot · 4 years ago

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Soulmate September - Day 8

Day 8 - The temperature of your chest gets hotter when you are closer to your soulmate and colder when you move further away. (D&D AU)

Pairing(s): Romantic Roceit, Romantic Background Analogical

TWs: Swearing

–

“Oh I adore being made out to be the bad guy here.”

“You robbed the lair of the Dragon Witch! It’s literally your fault that we are mired in this bog of despair!”

Roman’s accusation rang loudly within the wagon as they made the long ride back to Amoresse to rest for the night. Janus rolled his serpentine eyes,

“You, dear delusional knight, are totally not the one who went and killed said Dragon Witch, thus leaving her treasure for the taking.”, the half Yuan-Ti hissed, appropriately, “Besides, you can absolutely take the moral high ground here when you stole her crown at the first opportunity.”

The pristine elven knight gasped dramatically, clutching his figurative pearls at such an accusation!

“This is an outrage-!”

“Both of you shut the fuck up or I’m driving this wagon off the nearest goddamn cliff!!”

Roman and Janus both immediately quietened down at the threat issued so casually by their wagon driver as the dhampir hissed curses under his breath. The two in the back glared at each other back and forth, avoiding looking towards the wrecked fabric of the canopy and the splintered wood. In Roman’s defense, he hadn’t known that grabbing the crown specifically would cause the Dragon Witch’s castle to fall to ruin around them. He’d realised his mistake almost immediately when he felt the dark magic radiating off of it. However, he couldn’t bring himself to admit that was the case. Especially not around Janus, the damn snake wouldn’t let him live it down.

Being careful to pick his moment, Roman hazarded a glance over at the reptilian rapscallion eyeing up his spoils; Janus was an enigmatic entity to Roman, showing such sophistication and poise while also being prone to stumbling over his words or his own two feet in the same breath. Unabashedly, he displayed selfishness unrivalled by even the most aristocratic nobility, but in a pinch, was fully able to toss aside even the most valuable of artifacts to save a life.

Roman had tried not to think about it. The noble and chivalrous knight, Roman of Sandaria, being saved from the jaws of death by a conman who, by all accounts, he had fully expected to leave him to die. The elven man wasn’t sure where his resentment lay; perhaps Roman thought he should’ve been able to save himself, perhaps he felt guilty for misjudging Janus but couldn’t find it in him to admit it, or perhaps it was an underlying prejudice from his training days. Yeah, he really didn’t want to think about it.

Instead, Roman made his way to sit up front next to the moody wagon driver, making light conversation,

“I should be the one manning the wagon, your highness.”

“Roman, I’ve told you before, you can just call me by my name.”, the dhampir met Roman with piercing silver eyes, “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t understand my- Virgil,”, he corrected at the last second, “Nothing’s wrong. Aside from the fact you refuse to allow me to call you by your title-”

“That’s horseshit and you know it, Roman.”, Virgil kept his eyes on the road, anxious over the possibility of a crash if he kept his gaze averted too long, “I’ve known you since we were kids, I can tell when you’re lying. Besides, being called ‘your highness’ feels wrong as it is. Coming from you? It’s even fucking weirder than this whole marrying into royalty thing...”

Roman rolled his eyes but sat closer to offer Virgil a one-armed hug. The latter gave it a moment before accepting the gesture, “Virgil, you’ll be fine. If any one of us was suited to princedom, I cannot think of a better candidate. And your future husband is unreasonably attractive, so I don’t see what you have to complain about-”

“Oh my god, shut UP!”, Virgil chuckled and shoved Roman playfully. “I mean, you’re not wrong but the last thing I need is to think too hard about Logan and crash this stupid fucking shambles of a wagon!”

The lighthearted banter did wonders to distract Roman until Virgil managed to get things back on track unfortunately, “Now, stop deflecting and tell me what’s got you so gloomy, Sir-Sing-A-Lot.”

Roman rolled his eyes at the old nickname, “I’m fine, Virge, really. I merely wish our cascading castle adventure had been a little less…ruinous.”

“.... Was that a fucking pun-”

“Ahem.”, Janus cleared his throat from behind the two of them, “I do so loathe to interrupt.... whatever this is,”, he gestured between the two of them, “But I believe that’s our stop up ahead. Wouldn’t want to go destroying that as well.”

With that, the serpentine rogue slunk back into the wagon. Roman muttered something under his breath, inaudible to Virgil, before reluctantly joining the scaled nuisance bagging up his wares. The elven knight made sure to keep his crown tucked into his rucksack, just in case thievery was something to be wary of in Amoresse. The town’s reputation, however, gave Roman hope that their visit would prove more helpful than hindering; the rumours told of a town renowned for helping wayward, lonely souls find their soulmates. As a single, disaster gay, Roman sure hoped the rumours were true. Truly he could think of nothing sadder than turning up alone to his best friend’s wedding.

Getting booked into their rooms at the tavern was a far easier ordeal than having to endure the overly chaotic gate guard to the city. The bizarre tiefling had spent so long rambling on and on about the most grotesque topics that by the time they had successfully secured a wagon bay, the moon now shone in all her celestial beauty. Virgil had suggested resting for the night, and despite Roman’s urging that they stay together, Janus had been insistent on checking out the nightlife. The knight had been content to let him do so while he guarded the prince, but the tired dhampir insisted he too take the night to enjoy himself. Roman would have argued further had Virgil not issued the suggestion as an order after his first protest.

And that was how Roman found himself sitting at a small outdoor bar tended by a rather friendly dwarf. Said dwarf, Patton as he came to learn, was quite the chatterbox while Roman was content to take in the night air in spite of his earlier worries.

“Say kiddo,”, the dwarf broke from his pleasant rambling, “you’re looking a little lonely there. You got something on your mind?”

Roman hadn’t expected that. He pursed his lips in thought.

“I suppose I may as well be honest with you. I’ve been wondering if-”

“If the rumours are true?”, Patton finished, “Well, luckily for you, they are!”

He ducked down behind the counter and pulled up an ornate crystal bottle that contained a marvellous prismatic liquid inside. Roman watched with great interest as the dwarf pulled out a goblet and began to mix a sweet, fruity smelling drink before dropping in three drops of the colourful elixir.

“Anima Venenum”, Patton informed him, “Our town’s alchemist created it by accident a couple of centuries back, and ever since, we offer some to tourists who look like they need a little guidance in the ol’ world of love!”

Roman was mesmerised, “Really? You mean, I needn’t pay you for it?”

“Nope! Our only rule is to never hand it out to anyone who doesn’t ask us for it. It’s up to you if you wanna accept this, so no pressure. I just figured you looked like you might be in need of it.”

The knight had so many questions swirling around in his brain, but by the time he had settled on a single one, his hand was holding the goblet to his lips. The taste was citrusy like sweet clementines, but with a mixed berry and almost floral taste that reminded him of a rose wine. As the last of it slid down his throat, Roman noted a soft honey-like taste as he thanked Patton,

“That tastes wonderful! I’ve never had an elixir that tasted so good.”

Patton chuckled, “Actually, the elixir itself is tasteless. People just take better to it when it's mixed with a good drink, otherwise the texture weirds ‘em out.”

“Ah, I see.”, Roman let out a gentle chuckle. He didn’t feel all that different, truth be told, and so he asked, “How will I know it’s working?”

“The effects are instantaneous, don’t you worry! It might be hard to notice at first, but when you’re near your soulmate, your heart will feel really warm- In a good way! Not like heartburn, so don’t worry about it feeling unpleasant.”, Patton assured him.

Roman nodded, making a note of it as he got up to leave before quickly asking, “Oh! How long will it last?”

Patton waved him off, assuring him, “It’ll last for as long as you need to find your soulmate, guaranteed!”

With the night reaching its peak, Roman found himself strolling along the cobbled streets back to the tavern when he felt it; a flicker of warmth in his heart. Soft as the beating of a butterfly’s wing but very much there. He followed the feeling until he came upon a narrow street, hardly lit by the lamps stationed at it’s opening. The street itself was largely empty bar a silhouette in the dark leaning against the stone bridge that arched over the shimmering water running beneath it.

His heart raced as Roman approached the figure, the flames licking at his heart until he arrived about a foot from the entrance of the bridge. The figure turned to Roman, smirking a familiar smirk,

“Come to join me, oh loyal guardian of our beloved prince?”

Janus. His soulmate was Janus?! Roman couldn’t believe it, yet no matter how thoroughly he scanned the immediate area, not a single other soul revealed itself. The half Yuan-Ti raised a bemused eyebrow at Roman, “Please, do keep ignoring my question so you may continue to look like a fool.”

Roman scowled. Maybe the kindly dwarf was just teasing him? No, he didn’t seem the type. But this conman? His soulmate? Perhaps Roman would indulge it, see where that led him. Worth a shot anyway.

“My apologies.”, was all Roman offered as he took a spot on the bridge next to Janus, the flames of his heart undeniably soaring to life at the close proximity. Janus gave Roman a puzzled glance which let Roman take in his features; a half scaled face and body that, the more he watched the moonlight dance along the scales, made Roman want to gently reach out and touch them. In fact, he had subconsciously been doing just that when Janus had held his wrist in place, “It’s not completely rude to just touch someone’s scales without permission. What’s gotten into that underbaked brain of yours, Roman?”

Flustered and embarrassed by his lack of tact, Roman uttered quietly, “Soulmate cocktail.”

“Pardon?”

Roman panicked, “So many cocktails. Is what I said. Like, 14 whole cocktails.”

Great. Excellent save.

“..... You’re expecting me to believe that? Did you forget that I’m rather adept at being able to tell when someone’s lying to my face, Roman?”

End him. Just end him now. Roman wished a stray lightning bolt would smite him where he stood so he wouldn’t have to face his own stupidity. Quick, say something to help ease the situation.

“Okay. I had 16 cocktails.”, he stammered with a laugh, “I’m absolutely drunk. You got me, you clever reptile you!”

Roman of Sandaria you are a certified idiot.

“.... Alright then. Prove it.”, Janus goaded him, locking onto Roman’s crimson eyes with his own citrine snake-like eyes.

“Prove-?”

“Let me smell your breath.”, Janus clarified, getting closer. Each inch set Roman’s heart aflame all too literally. “If you’re as inebriated as you claim to be, your breath will absolutely stink.”

Shit.

“Uuuh, personal space-”, Roman began to move back, but Janus grasped the front of his tunic.

“Don’t give me that, Mister Personal-Space-Is-A-Societal-Construct, I’ve seen how often you get in your dear prince’s personal space...”, Roman could’ve sworn for a split second that Janus sounded resentful, or perhaps envious, before his tone took a more curious route, “... or perhaps could there be another reason you don’t want to be so close to me?”

The knight became aware of the burning within his chest threatening to rage out of control, the distance between them barely a couple of inches now. Roman wasn’t sure what to do, but the lure of Janus’ eyes and the way his ribcage radiated with a heat he’d never felt before spurred him to act; he leant forward and pressed his lips to the serpentine man before him.

It surprised Roman just how pleasant it felt, though he prepared himself for harsh retaliation from the half Yuan-Ti when he felt Janus take in a breath against his lips. However, Roman was pleasantly surprised to find that Janus, not only didn’t issue him a well-earned slap and spend the rest of the night cussing him out, but instead kissed him back even harder. Not that Roman was complaining. By the time they pulled back for air, Roman didn’t even notice the fire in his heart subsiding to be replaced with a more natural warmth as Janus’ hands softly caressed Roman’s cheeks. “I’ll be the first to admit, I totally saw the night heading that direction.”, Janus mused in surprise.

Roman let out a hearty chuckle, hardly even noticing that he’d subconsciously wrapped his arms around Janus.

“Care to tell me what brought this on, Roman of Sandaria?”

Just hearing his name spoken in such an enticing dulcet made his knees feel weak; how had Roman never noticed how beautiful Janus’ voice was? His mind was too busy latching onto every octave, every syllable, that he nearly forgot to answer him. He took Janus’ scaled hand and pressed his lips to it in a gentle gesture his soulmate clearly wasn’t used to if the flustered way he averted his eyes was anything to go by,

“I suppose you could say I did a little soul searching.”

----

Have some straight up Roceit fluff, this came out so cute.

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @lavender-mochi [I know you love your Roceit so I figured I’d tag you incase you needed this] @fandomsofrandom [I nearly missed the reblog where you asked to be added I’m so sorry]

#roceit #analogical #roman sanders #janus sanders #soulmate september #tsshipmonth2020 #virgil sanders #dnd au #my fics #fanfics #this one was fun #im just a ho for royal virgil and long suffering knight roman #also chaos tiefling remus was really funny #im sad i couldnt write more of him but there you go

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anxiouslyfred · 2 years ago

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Connections - Intruality

Summary: Remus does some gardening and tries to wrap the soulmate ribbon around Janus's neck. Patton gets a new plant and is a bit more cautious over her newest soulmate

Part of an ongoing daily DRLAMP story with each part focusing on 1 ship

Warnings: attempted strangulation with no intent to actually harm

/\/\

Patton had accepted the delivery with wide eyes. He'd know this was a soulmate connection that could occur, had been warned that people would assume this was the reason he'd gotten into gardening as he grew past 18 years old, but had still never expected to actually be given a plant.

His thoughts went to Rapunzel and how she'd seen her plant begin growing outside her tower for years before she left it to finally leave, but had been compelled to dig up her flowers to bring with her. He didn't want to cause his plant damage by carrying it around, but how else would he find the person with the identical plant?

Then again, Patton was smiling at the seedling. She could recognise the leaves already as mint and was sure that whomever this soulmate was would grow just as wildly as mint if given the chance.

/\/\

Once again, Remus vanished first thing in the morning according to his parents. He swore they must be half deaf not to hear the knocking at the door, or his yell that he was going to do some gardening.

He might not have actually researched or learnt anything deliberately but experience was a great teacher and Remus was certain that mint would best grow outside. He'd even be nice to the flowerbeds his mother constantly screamed at him for destroying and keep his new plant in its pot. No need to let the mint go wild when he'd just have to take it with him whenever he's ready and able, hopefully not forced, to move out.

“Remus! You know Mom will go insane if you're digging up roses before we've even had breakfast. Are you going to come in?” Roman called from the backdoor.

“I'm winning for soulmates, Ro! Got a plant delivery this morning. I wonder who got the other mint plant?” Remus bounced up and over to his brother before the door could shut.

Roman just paused for a moment before smiling. “I don't know but can't wait for you to find out. You know there's still a few years and chances for me to catch up again.”

“Yep, but for now I'm winning.” Remus grinned, carrying on to breakfast.

/\/\

Janus had frozen, looking at the kraken in confusion, but including Remus's plant within that. “One of these days I sincerely need to arrange for all of my soulmates and all of each of their soulmates to meet up together to actually find out if we really could be all connected.” They stated after a moment.

“Are you meaning Logan? Cause I stole his folder a couple weeks ago. He's decided I'm allowed to keep it since the jacket I put on him isn't being returned.” Remus asked, tugging on the ribbon and pouting when the knot around his cupboard door immediately released.

They shook their head. “I'm referring to Patton, actually. She has a mint plant identical to yours, and I assume given the similarities to Logan's labels it has something to do with your soulmate connections?”

“It is! Can Patton come over then?” Remus was already trying to steal Janus's phone to send the invitation.

They shoved him away to send the message themself. “So long as you don't do anything to traumatise him once he gets here.”

“I swear I won't”

/\/\

The door was open to the address Janus had invited her too but nobody was responding to her knocking, not even to call a greeting. With a glance Patton decided to just invite herself in and was immediately rushing to separate Janus from someone she almost mistook for Roman.

“What on earth are you doing? You could have hurt them, or yourself. Just – Just sit there and don't do whatever you were doing.”

“Trying to wrap the ribbon around Janus's neck! It's gotta influence us so surely we can get suffocated by it!” came the cheerful reply, making Patton even more aghast.

He made sure to stay between Janus and this stranger again, “There's no need to try and kill our soulmate, no matter what you want to prove Kiddo.” He scolded, “Now, I'm Patton, she/he pronouns please. Are you the person who lives here? Janus said I should meet you.”

“I'm Remus, he/him and They think you're my soulmate! Do you have my mint plant?” Remus pointed at the plant which Patton was almost happy to see was surrounded by an octopus sculpture rather than anything else.

She turned to look at the mint more closely, but already knew that it was the same as her own .She just wasn't completely comfortable with the idea that this man was one of her soulmates. Remus had just been trying to suffocate Janus afterall.

“It – it is the same as my soulmate plant.” He admitted after a moment. “Perhaps we should get to know each other without you trying to harm Janus though?”

“I wouldn't have done that! Jan's great at holding their breath. I'll make this ribbon corporeal somehow!” Remus dismissed the concern carelessly. He didn't seem to mind Patton's caution towards him at all so there was definitely time for them to get to know each other.

#intruality #moceit #dukeceit #remus sanders #patton sanders #Janus Sanders #soulmate au #soulmate plants #cw strangulation

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the-sunshine-dims · 4 years ago

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Amnesia rewrite!

i remember how much i loved writing the amnesia series and once i realized i was coming up on my 100th fic i realized what fic would be better to my 100th then an amnesia rewrite!

ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 6 | ch 7

original fic

words: 1,411

ao3

contents and warning: blood, blood loss, injury, angst, hurt/comfort, roman helps, amnesia, hurt janus, grieving, crying,

summary: Janus got hurt and cant remember anything up to a certain point, which means he doesn't remember the split of creativity, or their names getting revealed, and a lot else, and during Janus having amnesia there's a lot of healing, and not only from him.

or Janus somehow stumbled into the imagination, got amnesia, and now there's angst and hurt/comfort, maybe even fluff

____

Janus stumbled out of the foresty wilderness-clad imagination, not remembering much, and not remembering just how much he’d forgotten, not even remembering how he had ended up in imagination, he did remember a couple things, even if they were a couple of the simpler things, such as, he was Thomas’s “deceitful” trait, he was also Thomas’s “self preservation” though that was just a fancy word for Janus protected thomas.

and another thing he knew was that the blood splatter that had gotten in his hair and was soaking through his shirt was very not good.

But some things he didn’t know were possibly some of the most important things, such as the painful split of king creativity, and the painful memories of being locked away with the label of “darksides” and “snake tricking thomas into sinning”, and everyone telling thomas their names.

But, currently it didn’t matter what he remembered, he had to clean himself up and figure out if all of the blood was his ..or someone else’s, or both, and he had to figure out if it was better if it was his or someone else’s.

He tried his best to take a deep breath, hoping it would help the painful headache he had go away, but it just came out shaky and it helped none, so with nothing else to do he just tried his best to get back to his room, after getting a quarter way to where he thought it would be he had to begin leaning on the wall, feeling faint, before trying his best to continue.

But when he reached the first open room he’s seen he didn’t recognize it, maybe morality just got bored and redecorated? He didn’t know.

Once he enters, for a minute all he wants is to stay there, it’s warm, and just bright enough to be the perfect place to take a nap, like Thomas’s grandma's living room, with the big windows facing the couch, just so comfortable of an atmosphere, he shakes his head at himself ignoring the immediate flare of pain it causes, he needs to get to his room, then he can wash up and take a nap, he just needs to wait to find his room.

He sighs about to try and leave and hope to not get more lost,

Then he saw them.

A side, a side he’s never seen before, sitting on one of the armchairs and staring at him like with a vigilante- almost annoyed gaze

They were a taller side, outfit almost like a prince, with a bright red sash, maybe they were a new side? Maybe something to do with inspiration? Or something else creative? That would explain the similarities to creativity, Regardless though even if they weren't something to do with creative stuff janus was sure creativity would like them, creativity liked everyone.

And while Janus was partially confused because he was having a kinda hard time processing he still was about to go make a move to greet the new side.

That was until the side snapped out “deceit.” Sounding annoyed. Making his blood go cold, and his eyes widened and everything in him filled with self preservation in a single moment because how did he know his trait this was a new side how did he know.

Suddenly the blood that’s made his already dark clothes darker and long since dried on his hair is overly noticeable now and he feels like he should flee as his gaze flicks across the entire room in an instant looking for possible exits.

He took a unnoticeable steadying breath before going “who- who are you?” He asks, almost hissing under his breath at just how shaky it was, he’s supposed to be strong to protect Thomas! Not shaky just because someone he didn’t know, knew something as simple as one of his traits.

The side seemed startled by the question, several unnamed emotions flitting across his face in a couple moments before it settled on base level confusion as Janus began looking around the room again, nervousness evolving slightly when he realized nothing was the same, the couch was moved along with the coffee table and the everything else he didn’t even think the framed photos were in the same place-

Then he saw a particular photo, it had morality, logic, anxiety (though he’s changed a lot), and this side.

Then he looked at the other photos and he noticed a particular lack of someone.

Creativity

and the more he looked there wasn’t any trace of him, no left out art supplies, no hand-crafted pillows, nothing.

He snapped his head back to this side and desperately asked “where’s creativity?” He really hoped that the sides were just pulling a mean and really badly timed prank.

This side is slowly destroying that hope when he looks absolutely startled by that and instead of- well anything, he just confusedly goes “..I’m creativity?”

Janus’s hands begin shaking aggressively after he’s processed the information, and suddenly he felt really overwhelmed “no- no no that’s not possible! You- you’re not creativity! He’s tall and he- he always has this big goofy grin! He- and he has this cape he made himself though it’s pretty much just a blanket wrapped around his shoulders!-“ tears had been spilling from his eyes as he went on, beginning to hold his shaky form with his shaky arms, and beginning to retract into himself “and- and he has fake roses on hand at all time despite- despite him knowing they get caught in his shirt everytime- and- he's not gone! I was just here and he and logic were trying to build a puzzle! He-“ he hiccuped “he was just here..” he sobbed, not meeting this ‘creativity’’s eyes and just staring at the floor instead though he couldn't see anything beyond vague shapes.

There was a long uncomfortable silence as Janus tried to breathe before the person spoke “creativity.. was split into me and my brother.. don’t you remember?”

Janus looked up at him and just shook his head sorrowfully before taking a big breath and trying his best to speak though it just came out as a quiet “no..” so quiet Roman almost didn’t hear it.

Janus wanted to go home.

He looked at the floor again, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact and not cry.. again.

That was until he felt a small tug on his shirt sleeve and the side was looking at him so concerned and he didn’t say anything but he backed away just a tiny bit and opened up his arms in a clear invitation, one which Janus immediately took up, catapulting himself into his arms and just.. sobbing.

Roman tried, if somewhat stiffly to comfort him, using his spare arm that wasn't wrapped around Janus to try and brush through Janus’s hair, that was what patton did when they were upset.

Or that was the plan, instead he felt a weird dry patch in Janus’s hair and when he looked closer it was dark red, he froze, knowing that the only real option for what it was was dried blood since he didn’t suppose Janus was the type to randomly dye his hair red and decide not too, a quarter way through, so he took a breath before beginning to speak “okay, umm, you're kinda bleeding, and I don’t think I would know how to care for whatever injury caused the bleeding properly so.. I think it would be best to go to Logan.”

Janus seemed half conscious because he just slowly blinked, trying to see if he somehow knew the name somehow, and after a minute Roman realized Janus didn't recognize the name so he explained “Logic, not long ago with the rest of us, shared his name with us, which is Logan,” he told him, and deciding it might be good to tell him more he just slowly went “you did too, you told us your name was Janus.”

Janus hummed, taking the information and processing it slowly, his fatigue and exhaustion finally affecting him, eventually he nodded to himself and with that Roman decided Janus wouldn’t be physically or emotionally fit to walk with him to Logan's room safely. so he carefully and slowly picked Janus up, half expecting some fight but instead Janus just practically curled up against his chest, his head beginning to loll in in a single moment.

And then Roman was off to Logan's Room.

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codecarpenterbee · 4 years ago

Text

Sanders Sides Theory/Imagine

(originally posted on my Twitter @/CodeCarpenterB)

Imagine.

Okay okay, so this is more of a theory than an imagine (and possibly an idea for a future episode), but bear with me. You'll need some background before we get to the ✨j u i c y ✨stuff.

❤️/* Content warning for angst. */ ❤️

What's in a name?

It tells a lot about a Side. Their past, their present, their future. Going through the series, we can clearly see that a name is a deeply personal thing to a Side.

It's their identity.

And that identity is strongest for one Side in particular.

Which Side that has repeatedly, needlessly reaffirmed his name?

Which Side that panicked when his name was doubted, albeit jokingly?

Who is the one Side that is so steadfast in his name, his identity, that he is nothing without it?

Identity. Self. Ego. Pride.

R-O-M-A-N.

Think about it.

In SvS, he nearly panicked when Janus said that Roman's name was "actually spelled W-R-O-A-M-M-I-N."

I'll admit, Janus was definitely joking here. Simple teasing, nothing more. The most intuitive Side in the Mindscape surely isn't onto something.

In FWSA, not once, but TWICE did Roman reaffirm his name, even though no one was questioning it right then.

It seemed completely out of place, but there he was, telling us that he is indeed Roman, the one and lonely. (oop Freudian slip, and a discussion for another time...)

The bottom line: in recent episodes, it has been made perfectly, 100%, crystal clear.

Princey's name is Roman. His name has always been Roman, and his name will always be Roman.

...right?

You could probably spell your own name for me right now if I asked, almost without thinking.

So why would Roman, the brave, handsome, unbeatable Roman, need to use a memory device (Really Obviously Muscular And Nice) in SvS to remember how to spell his own name?

All the clues (the memory devices, the needless reaffirmation, heck even the part in SvS: Redux where he uses Janus' name against him) point toward one conclusion:

Roman's name is important to him, specifically him.

"Prince Roman" is his identity.

But what if it wasn't?

Imagine. (Yeah, we're starting for real now.)

* * * * * * *

They'd sunk down into Roman's room looking for him.

When they found him, they wished they hadn't.

The very instant Thomas and three of the Core Sides rose up, they could tell that everything was wrong.

Roman had always been so careful to keep his room regal and fit for royalty, but now the very air told a "riches to rags" story.

The red and gold curtains behind Patton, now just barely hanging onto the walls, had been ripped to shreds by human hands and some sharp weapon.

The makeshift stage upon which Thomas stood had almost been turned upside down, quite literally, in what was obviously a fit of rage.

Even the shelf of acting awards, the ones Roman had been so proud of, had been destroyed, shards of wood and metal littering the carpet.

"You sure he's here, Logan?" Patton asked, twisting the sleeves of his cardigan, a habit he'd most likely picked up from Virgil.

The anxious Side himself was clearly even more worried, biting his nails and glancing toward the Side Patton had addressed.

"Of course he's here. We've searched all the other rooms, and he wouldn't enter the Others' rooms, so this is the last-"

If he hadn't ever so slightly moved to the left at that moment, the katana that harmlessly whizzed past his face could have done some serious damage.

A Side (most likely Patton) screamed as the lights went out. An eerie voice began to speak.

They wished it didn't sound so familiar yet so strange, like the voice of an old friend but grating against their ears.

"You know what they say. Rome wasn't built in a single day."

A Side (most likely Patton) screamed as the lights went out. An eerie voice began to speak.

They wished it didn't sound so familiar yet so strange, like the voice of an old friend but grating against their ears.

"You know what they say. Rome wasn't built in a single day."

Like the room itself, everything about him was so, so wrong. His spotless white attire had been traded in for a suit of black, almost blending into the shadows. The royal sash he'd cared for so well was gone, replaced by one of a much, much darker shade of red.

Even his eyes, once a warm and vibrant shade of chestnut, now almost glowed as they burned into the souls of anyone looking into them.

"R-Roman?" Thomas stuttered, clearly in shock. Surely this figure before him couldn't be the prince he'd known and adored since childhood.

"Roman is dead."

"NO!" Patton yelled before he could stop himself. "You're Roman! You're Princey, our hero!" His glasses fogged with the tears he hadn't even noticed had begun to fall.

"You're right. Roman was a hero." Then those fiery eyes stared directly into Thomas'.

"But I'm not your hero, am I?"

So who—what was this Side? He looked exactly like the Roman they knew, yet nothing like him at all. Like the departed specter of someone they once knew, only very much alive and terrifyingly real.

Thomas could barely choke out the words through his panic and shock, but most of all, his regret.

What had they done to cause Roman to become... this?

"W-who are you?"

All eyes were on him as he began to speak.

"My name..."

The now-Dark Side before them took his sweet, sweet time to answer, dramatically savoring every word as though he'd rehearsed for this moment for days.

Who knows? Maybe he had.

And it was in that moment they understood the gravity of the situation.

Roman was gone.

"My name is Romulus."

*** fade to black ***

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts sides #sanders sides theories #roman sanders #ts roman #dark roman sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil sanders #ts virgil #sanders sides angst #sanders sides theory #star trek

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willowkeyes-creates · 4 years ago

Text

Maybe Not A Hero, But Still A Side

Warnings: Swearing, self-deprecation, near-death sorta?, Remus making an innuendo Set after Redux.

@hufflepuff-deceit ------------------------------------------------------------ Roman

I’ve been losing my touch for years now; it shouldn’t hurt this much to know that Thomas has finally figured it out. I’m not his hero. I was once, back when we began making short videos on Vine, maybe again when that failed and we stuck to YouTube… But I’ve just been lying to everyone for ages now.

I’m no Prince.

I’m not good.

There’s… little difference between Remus and I if you look close enough.

I’m no one’s hero.

With a heavy sigh that fails to dislodge the lump in my throat, I collapse against the soft grass of the Imagination and let the cold rain wash over me. The cliff I’ve decided to sit on has a view over the ocean that, before all of this, I would love to just stare at and take it in for an hour or two. I’ve been in here for a week, maybe two if I’ve paid less attention then I think I have, but I can’t bring myself to show my face to anyone yet. Or, I can’t bring myself to look at the others and not feel so much that my chest wants to explode with emotions I can’t control.

Anger, frustration, confusion, betrayal, guilt- there’s so much guilt. So much for so many things that I don’t know what to do with it. Hiding it away and pretending that it doesn’t exist doesn’t help anymore. Lying doesn’t help me anymore.

Maybe Dece-... Maybe Janus knows me better than I thought. Maybe he should be one of the Light Sides; a Side that helps Thomas with his issues. Because he’s been doing a better job than I have. I just stood there as Patton hurt Thomas! I let him tell me what I should be doing- I let him tell me to go to that stupid, fucking wedding instead of what could have been the best opportunity of Thomas’ life!

My hands tangle themselves in my hair as I scream at the rain. As I scream at Patton, at Deceit, Janus, Patton- at Thomas. Myself. Everything and everyone. I just scream until something starts to hurt, then scream some more. I just want all of this to go away.

Instead, I scream until I’m too tired to scream anymore. I just lay an arm lengths away from the edge of a cliff, stare at what I guess to be a nice sunset, and just… do nothing. I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m so tired. So sore. Thomas can last a while without me; and even more if Remus decides to take the spotlight now that I’m not around.

I should get out of the rain though; it’s starting to get really heavy. With a grunt of effort, I haul myself to my feet and throw my hoodie on despite every part of me being drenched already. My first step causes something below me to crack and I freeze to hear a second and third to follow suit. I frown down at my feet as I take another step, only for it to slip against something and send me back onto my back with a heavy thump. And a loud crack.

There’s a second of weightlessness as the ground falls out from beneath me. The sky seems to get so far away from me so quickly, with my hand reaching out as if a cloud will catch me as I fall. But what is now the edge of the cliff passes by me, I shut my eyes tight and wait for the pain of hitting the crashing waves below. For the possible breaking of my bones, for the head trauma, for the relief of not having to think while I’m unconscious-

Something wraps around my wrist and every part of me screams at me to hold onto it. Both hands grab onto the… arm of whoever caught me.

“Seriously!? I thought I was the crazy twin!” My eyes shoot open at the all-too-familiar voice to see Remus smiling down at me. It’s… a relieved smile, for some reason.

Then I see what’s behind him. Remus is nowhere near the edge of the cliff and has both of his legs being held onto with a hand each, while two other hands hold the three of us up. Out of all the Sides to have come here, I didn’t expect these two.

“Ro. Hey.” With a couple of blinks I focus back on Remus’ face, while the lump that was once in my chest now sits up in my throat. He needs to stop looking at me like that. They’re both looking at me... “You alright there?”

“I-... N-No.”

“Remus, I don’t believe you know this, but the three of us are hanging off a cliff right now. Of course he’s not bloody alright!”

“Okay, okay! You gonna pull us up then, or what!?”

One moment I’m watching the two argue as my legs dangle over the dangerous ocean, the next I’m back on solid ground and I can feel tears building up as I realise what just happened. They rescued me. They’re heroes…

“Roman?” Remus’ voice is too soft, too filled with worry over such a useless Side. In a world of my own creation, where I rule, I still can’t be anyone’s hero because I’m too busy needing saving myself. I was saved by those I called villains. “Fuck- Jan, he’s crying! Did he hit his head?”

I shake my head and curl my legs up to my chest; the lump in my throat now painful and starving me of air. It’s all too much. Everything is so much while I can do so little. Like an ant in a rainstorm without shelter. Like a mortal trading places with Atlas to hold up the sky. Like a stupid Prince who’s been thinking so much of himself, when he actually just insults others and makes everything worse!

So when I feel fingers in my hair, I push them away only for arms to wrap around me and hold me close to someone’s chest. Even as I keep struggling, two more sets of arms wrap around me and feel so warm against how damp and cold my skin is. I feel fingers in my hair again- gloved fingers. With another gloved hand holding my own and rubbing their thumb across the back of my hand.

“Ro? You sane now?” I attempt to swallow the suffocating lump, but fail as it feels even bigger than before. What am I supposed to say? I am sane- I always have been sane. I’m just no longer blind.

“... I guess so…”

“Good, ‘cause I gotta tell you off for scaring me. Do you know how hard that is to do? You big-headed… butt-head.”

“Not the time for insults...” I guess the extra arms are coming from Janus. He shouldn’t be comforting me; not after what I said. Not after I hurt him after he showed us something so… terrifying… And I fucked it up. I destroyed so much with so few words.

“So, you gonna thrash around again? I can let go if you want. I doubt I smell like roses and honey or whatever...” A set of arms goes to release me and in that moment, I decide to be selfish and quickly grab hold of them. Then move to grab hold of him. Both of them. And I just cry.

“I-I’m sorry… For your name, and ignoring you, and calling you villains, a-and threatening you- I threatened you so much… Fuck…” I can smell them both and it’s such a weird scent, even more so with the scent of rain mixed with them. There’s honey and lavender, but also Thomas’ deodorant and something close to when Patton forgets to put the lid of the trash bin back on. It’s gross, but comforting.

I shouldn’t be comforted.

“Roman, it’s-”

“No!” I pull back to see them both, again hating the look in their eyes. Janus’ heterochromatic ones and the bright red ones of my brother, both looking at me with looks like so much worry. “Stop looking at me like that! I don’t deserve it! Or this! Or to be saved-”

“Stop it, Roman-” I swat the reaching gloved hand away and fall backwards, out of their arms, before digging my palms into my eyes to see the dancing spots instead of seeing the kindness I don’t deserve.

“I screwed up so much! I ignored you, Em! I pretended that you didn’t exist! What so-called ‘good guy’ ignores his own twin!? None! Because I’m not fucking good! I never was! I’ve never been a hero!”

“Roman!” “And I knew that your name was important to you, Dec- Janus! God, I don’t deserve to call you by your name! I laughed! I… I fucking laughed! After you saved Thomas, while I just made shit worse! I made fun of it!”

“And I compared you to Remus while you were in a vulnerable state- Stop apologising and look at us!”

It’s something in the way Janus says it, it could be how his ‘s’ are starting to be held longer or the actual desperation from him that I’ve never heard before, but I take my hands away from my eyes and look up at them.

Remus is grinning brightly and without any of his usual craziness behind it. He looks happy as he stretches his arms out towards me- now making grabby hands at me as if he wants a hug from me. It’s… weird to see him so happy. Is he usually straining his smile? Or this is a different kind of happy then when he pops up to give one of us a fright?

Janus has a soft smile on his face as he fixes the hat atop his head with one of his six arms. He holds another hand out and motions me to come to them. “We both said some harsh things; and I sincerely apologise for hurting you after so much had happened to you and Thomas. And we’ll talk this through- but later. You look exhausted, Roman…”

“So come here, hug us, and let me carry you to our side of the Mindscape for some microwaved leftovers so that we can be best bros for two minutes before you regret saying that mushy shit to me.”

The lump in my throat doesn’t hurt as much- but is still very much there. We do have a lot to talk through, but I am also so tired. And cold. And I nearly just fell into bone-shattering waves. Remus’ open arms and Janus’ inviting look warms something inside me and pushes me into my brother's arms. He holds on tightly with fistfulls of my shirt, as if I’ll disappear. I did this to him… I made him scared that I would leave him again.

“No, Rem…” I have to fix this. I have to become better, instead of sulking away in my Imagination. Doing nothing, solves nothing. If I want to be a hero, I have to work for it again. From the bottom up. Which starts with Remus. “More than two minutes…”

“Sixty-nine minutes?”

“Sixty-nine years sounds better. Especially with an infinity on the end.”

“Sixty-nine infinities? What legendary stamina…”

“You’re gross and insane.” Yet I only hold onto him tighter. His hugs have always felt like I’m not missing a part of myself, as if everything will be okay and nothing will be bad again. It’s a huge lie, but no one else’s hugs can make me feel this kind of safe.

“Come on. I love standing in drenched clothing and I totally don’t want Roman to try the lasagne that we made yesterday.” Holy crap. The leftovers is lasagne!?

“Oooh! You’ll love it, Ro! The cheese on top is scrunchy, like an exo-skeleton.” Too tired to get grossed out at that rather terrifying image, I just give him a hum to make him know that I heard as he picks me up without issue. Now he just smells like strong deodorant with a hint of trashiness; which is dealable enough to get comfortable against him.

“You better not be sleeping. You know how I wake people up.”

“With a scream two inches from their face?”

“I was gonna put slime in your shirt- but that works too! Maybe with some blood…”

“Fake blood please, Remus.” I open my eyes and catch Janus’ gaze for a moment. He gives me another smile before bapping the back of Remus’ head since he was making his nose drip blood. “I wasn’t lying! Clean that up before we enter the Mindscape or you’ll stain the carpets again!”

“Those carpets are already stained from last week!”

“I will hide your copy of Betelgeuse! In my room no less- don’t test me!”

Closing my eyes once more, I hear a raspberry from Remus before they start bantering again. A few days on their side of the Mindscape will do me good. With my deranged yet caring brother and… the attractive-looking, snake man that may have just turned my school yard crush on him into a full on I’m-gay-for-you. We’ll have to talk first, and I have to get some flowers to apologise properly with, but maybe one day I’ll ask him out. Leftover lasagne dinner with him and my brother sounds like a good start.

#roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #brotherly creativitwins #creativitwins #dukeceit #roceit #tw swearing #willowkeyes writes #ask to tag

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eliemo · 4 years ago

Text

The Little Things

Now that they’re getting to know Virgil, welcoming him as family, the other sides begin to notice behavior they hadn’t picked up on before. Patton just wants him to feel safe.

Words: 3,698

TW: Brief panic attack, Virgil thinks he’s gonna be punished or hurt for a few minutes. Also like one swear word

They noticed the little things first.

Logan was likely the first to notice how jumpy Virgil really was now that they were all spending more time together, how sensitive he was to loud noises and sudden movements, but Patton was fairly sure he was the only one to see beyond that.

It wasn’t hard for Patton to pick up on how quickly Virgil would tense if he thought one of the other sides were in a particularly bad mood, how he would go quiet if someone raised their voice whether it was directed towards him or not, how he would reach for any excuse to retreat to his room if he thought something was wrong.

It hadn’t been like that before they’d accepted him. He hadn’t been so scared.

Or maybe...maybe he had, and they just hadn’t bothered to notice.

Living either in almost total isolation or with the other dark sides his whole life, it was obvious Virgil wasn’t used to their way of life. He wasn’t used to the kindness and understanding they were offering.

But that was ok. They would help him. He was family now, and he was learning. He was safe.

But then...then the small hidden things became a bit more obvious, and it was clear this wasn’t just Virgil’s general anxiety.

It was the ‘mug incident,’ as Patton had internally dubbed it, that had finally clued them in to how bad it really was.

Roman, as kind and caring as he was, and how hard he tried, was never one to pick up on subtle signs.

It was mid afternoon, Virgil perched on the armchair while Logan and Patton stood by the TV mulling over movie options, when Roman stormed in from the kitchen, a broken Disney mug in his hand, deep frown etched on his face.

It wasn’t genuine anger, Patton knew Roman well enough by now to know that. It was just frustration amped up for the sake of dramatics.

They all should have realized Virgil wouldn’t know to pick up on that yet.

“Do any of you want to tell me why,” Roman announced, holding the pieces of the mug in the air. “My beloved Disney mug was left destroyed on the counter?”

Logan turned to face him, unaffected, adjusting his glasses. “I assume because it broke.”

“Obviously! Which one of you broke it?”

“I did the dishes this morning, kiddo,” Patton said, smiling sadly at the broken mug. “It wasn’t broken when I saw it.”

Logan sighed. “I did not go anywhere near your mug today, Roman. Besides, can’t you just fix it on your--”

“It’s the principle of it!” Roman whirled around to Virgil, who had been silently watching the exchange with wide eyes. “Alright, emo! Confess to your crime!”

Virgil actually jumped, fingers curling into the cushions of the chair, shoulders curling up to almost reach his ears. Roman was clearly expecting to banter back and forth, and Patton knew that in any other situation that was exactly what he would have gotten.

“I-I didn’t break it,” Virgil said, stumbling over his words a bit, refusing to look Roman in the eye. “It wasn’t me.”

Roman groaned and Patton frowned as Virgil went rigid. The creative side didn’t seem to be picking up on anything unusual, and Logan had gone back to flipping through channels.

“Oh come on, Virgil! Obviously it was you, you’re usually the last one in the kitchen. It’s not even a big deal, why didn’t you just tell me it was broken?”

Virgil shook his head, curling further into himself like he was hoping for his hoodie to swallow him up, and Patton slowly rose to his feet when he saw something far too close to genuine panic in his eyes.

“I didn’t break it,” he said again, somehow even quieter than before. “I didn’t...I-I’m not lying, it wasn’t me, I’m...I haven’t been in the kitchen.”

“But you--”

“Roman,” Patton said, forcing his tone to stay light. “I was in a hurry this morning, maybe I just left it balancing on the shelf weird. And if not, I’m sure it was just an accident, right?”

It was a bit too pointed to be taken as entirely casual, and Roman cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly, clearly picking up on Patton’s worry.

But before Roman could hopefully change the subject, Virgil was speaking again, his voice now shaky and almost...desperate.

“I didn’t...I didn’t do it, Roman I swear it wasn’t...i-if I had broken it I would have cleaned it up or-or fixed it I promise, I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t have-have left a mess.”

Roman’s brow furrowed, and he briefly glanced back at Patton and Logan, whose attention had been recaptured by Virgil’s rambling.

“I...I know,” Roman said carefully. “Virgil, I...I wasn’t gonna--”

He took a step towards the armchair, freezing when Virgil flinched backwards, eyes impossibly wide and clouded with fear.

“I-I didn’t break it!” It was louder this time, still small and trembling, staring at the other side like he was wielding a deadly weapon. “I’m not lying I swear I-I didn’t, I…”

Patton could only stand there, looking helplessly between the two of them, Logan just as lost beside him, while Roman carefully set the mug down and slowly dropped to a crouch in front of the chair.

“It’s ok, Virgil,” the prince said, soft and slow, and Virgil’s rambling abruptly cut off. “I’m not mad, see? It’s ok.”

Virgil didn’t relax, didn’t move, just glanced briefly at Patton and Logan before turning back to Roman. “You...you were. You were mad, and you--”

“I wasn’t,” Roman promised gently. “Even if you did break it--”

“I didn’t,” Virgil insisted, then stiffened as if just realizing he’d interrupted Roman. But the prince just smiled again, extending an open palm.

“I know. I believe you. I’m not mad, I was just messing around. I’m so sorry, Virgil. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

It took a moment for anything to change, Patton sending reassuring smiles and Logan quietly counting out a pattern for Virgil to regain control over his breathing. Roman didn’t move, knelt beside the chair with his arm outstretched and waiting.

When Virgil finally began to relax, his eyes clearing a bit, he let out a shaky sigh and warily took Roman’s hand, still visibly tense like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Kiddo?” Patton called after a moment, taking a careful step forward. “You alright?”

He saw Virgil nod, swallowing roughly. “I’m fine,” he muttered. “Sorry for...sorry about that.”

Logan frowned, moving to stand beside Patton. “I fail to see what you could have to apologize for, Virgil.”

Virgil shrugged and rested his chin on his knees, but he still held on to Roman’s hand like a lifeline, and the Prince made no move to pull away.

“My sincerest apologies,” Roman said. “It wasn’t my intention to scare you. I mean, I’d be a rather lousy excuse for creativity if I couldn’t fix a little broken mug, right? It wouldn’t have been a bother even if you had broken it.”

It got a small, unsure smile from Virgil, but the anxious side still didn’t look particularly calmed.

“Besides,” Logan spoke up, something unreadable in his expression. “A broken dish is nothing that should cause you distress. I’m sure you know you can always inform us if an accident happens without consequence.”

It took a moment for Virgil to answer, hands clutching the cloth of his new hoodie, but he eventually nodded, not looking like he entirely believed what he was being told.

“Yeah,” he said, voice strained. “Yeah, I just thought...I don’t know. It’s whatever, you guys. I’m fine.”

They begrudgingly dropped the subject after that, seeing as how keeping the spotlight on Virgil was only succeeding in making him more uneasy, but Patton was sure to make very clear that his door was open if Virgil ever wanted to talk about it.

It had been a little over a week now, and no one had mentioned the incident again, instead going back to focusing on making sure Virgil felt safe and included like they had since learning his name.

They were all getting closer, even in the short time since accepting him, and Virgil was visibly relaxing. He was still anxious and withdrawn, but less so everyday. Things were getting better.

And then…

And then things got worse.

Virgil was having an off day. They could all see he was a bit extra jumpy and unfocused throughout the day.

It made sense, Thomas had been particularly stressed and Virgil, as his anxiety, was handling the brunt of it. But he hadn’t locked himself up in his room like he would have done a week prior, and Patton considered that progress.

Virgil had finally started eating with them regularly as well, more often than not hanging around long enough to help with prep and cleanup.

The four of them were cooking dinner tonight, careful to keep the atmosphere calm and lighthearted, and Patton wanted to squeal with happiness each time he saw a tentative smile cross Virgil’s face.

Patton and Logan were handling most of the food while Virgil and Roman washed, dried and put away dishes as they went, the prince humming Disney songs loud enough for everyone to hear.

It was nice. They were finally a family, just as they should be.

Honestly, what happened next was entirely Patton’s fault. He hadn’t even been thinking about how the other side might interpret it.

The kitchen was roomy but it wasn’t huge, and it was a bit crowded with all four of them working in it at the same time. Patton was moving away from checking the stove just as Virgil was moving to put a clean plate away and ended up bumping into his shoulder as he made his way back to Logan.

It happened so fast, Patton didn’t even get a chance to try and catch the plate as it slipped from Virgil’s hands and hit the ground with a crash, shattering into pieces.

It wasn’t a big deal. Things broke all the time. In the mindscape, especially with Roman, they could clean it up and snap a new one into existence in moments. For a second, Patton didn’t think anything of it.

“Whoops,” he said, stepping away from the glass shards. “Sorry about that, kiddo. You ok there?”

There wasn’t an answer, and when Patton looked up he realized Virgil wasn’t even looking at him. He was staring at Logan.

Logan, who had turned around at the sound of the noise, knife still in hand from chopping vegetables, watching with a mix of concern and confusion. And Virgil’s expression held more terror than Patton had ever seen.

“Virgil--”

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he managed, Logan only seemed more confused when Virgil only seemed to focus on him. “I-I didn’t...It was an accident.”

“We know Virgil,” Logan said carefully, but the reassurance only seemed to panic Virgil more, wide eyes moving now to all three watching sides. “We are not--”

“Lo,” Patton called softly, heart breaking when he saw where Virgil’s eyes kept landing. “You need to put that down, kiddo.”

Logan cocked his head slightly, eyes widening when he followed Patton’s gaze to the knife still clutched in his hand. “My apologies, Virgil. I hadn’t realized.”

And maybe Logan moved a bit too fast, maybe Virgil was too far gone in his panic to hear the apology, but moving to set the knife down on the counter behind him only seemed to break the dam holding back the last of Virgil’s fear.

He jumped back, Patton wincing in sympathy when his back collided with the edge of the counter, but he didn’t even seem to register the impact.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m so s-sorry, please, please I-I’ll clean it up! I’ll clean it up right now y-you don’t have to be mad I won’t...please, I can fix it, I can--”

Patton would hate himself for it later, but in his desperation Virgil was lowering himself towards the broken glass, eyes never leaving Logan, moving like he was going to grab the shards with his bare hands, and parental instinct took over.

“No!” Patton hurried forwards to stop him, and while he did get Virgil away from the glass, the outburst and sudden movements were definitely not what Virgil needed.

The anxious side’s eyes filled with tears as he scrambled as far back as he could get, breathing quick and erratic, words coming out in frantic gasps.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to...I’m so sorry I just thought--”

“No, no it’s ok!” Patton’s vision was beginning to go blurry with his own tears. “I just didn’t want you to get cut on the glass!”

But Virgil wasn’t listening, pressed up against the wall, hands moving to protect his face like he expected someone to hurt him.

It was so much different from the Virgil they’d gotten to know, scared and anxious sometimes but refusing to let himself fall apart in front of anyone, always holding himself to some standard of composure.

Roman was clutching Patton’s arm, keeping him from rushing forward again, the prince pale and frozen. Logan had set the knife down, clearly doing all he could to compose himself and understand the situation.

“Virgil,” the logical side said after a moment, more hesitant than Patton had ever heard him. “It was just an accident. Nobody is going to be upset with you. And I assure you, nobody here would ever have any intention of causing you harm.”

“Of course not,” Roman said, Patton quickly agreeing. “What on earth made you so frightened, Stormcloud?”

Virgil didn’t answer, gaze still jumping from one side to another, tense and trembling as he seemed to struggle to understand what was being said to him.

“I...I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. It seemed to be his go-to phrase tonight. “I didn’t m-mean to ruin things.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Patton said, still unable to move forward, furiously wiping tears from his cheeks. “You didn’t ruin anything. I promise.”

“I…I’m s...I’m sorry.”

“Perhaps,” Logan said suddenly. “It would be of benefit to you to discuss this outside the kitchen. Do you require assistance getting to the living room?”

Virgil was still trembling, curled into a ball, eyes red and jaw clenched tight. “I...I think so. Sorry, I just--”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, kiddo.” Patton glanced at the glass scattered across the floor, then at Roman, the only side still wearing shoes. “Will you--?”

“I’ve got him.”

It took a minute, Patton moving to stand by Logan while Roman carefully made his way to Virgil’s side like he was approaching a wounded animal.

Patton didn’t miss how badly Virgil flinched when Roman lowered himself to the floor, how tense he went when the prince made a move to touch his arm.

“I won’t hurt you,” Roman said softly. “You have my word. Can I carry you to the couch, please?”

Virgil nodded, hesitant, and Patton’s heart broke at the quiet whimper that escaped when Roman carefully lifted him bridal style from the kitchen floor.

“You’re alright,” Princey promised, sending a worried glance over his shoulder as Logan turned off the stove. “You’re safe, you’re ok. We’re almost there.”

They made it to the couch quickly, Patton and Logan following closely behind, the three of them allowing Virgil his own space as soon as he was set down on the cushion.

He instantly took advantage of it, pressing himself as far back as he could, knees pulled up to his chest, refusing to look any of them in the eye.

Logan was seated on the coffee table across from him, Patton carefully lowering himself onto the opposite end of the couch, Roman perched beside him on the arm.

Logan cleared his throat, hands folded in his lap. “Virgil--”

“I-I don’t know,” Virgil said, still horribly small and shaky. “I’m sorry I just...thought y-you would all be angry with me. Again. If I...I-if I messed up and then I did and I thought...I thought--”

“Nobody’s angry,” Patton said. “Never over something like this Virge. And even if we were...you don’t ever need to be afraid of us.”

Virgil hunched his shoulders, staring resolutely down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I should have...I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, we--”

“I just-” Virgil took a breath, knuckles turning white in his grip, the three sides falling silent as they waited, hoping silently. “I just don’t...I don’t want to leave.”

Logan tilted his head, confused, looking to the others who were equally perplexed. “Leave...where? We of course would never force you to go to your room if you’d prefer company.”

Virgil shook his head, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, and Patton’s chest clenched in sympathy as he watched him fight to get his thoughts together.

“I mean I don’t...want to go back. This has all been really great. You’ve...you guys have been really great. And I know you-you didn’t really like me before and now that you know you n-need-need me you could...you could do whatever you want to me if I f-fuck up or...or make me leave and I don’t want to...to lose this.”

“Oh, baby…” Patton scooted forward, unsure how to respond, feeling his heart break in two. “Can I...Virgil, can I hug you?”

Virgil’s gaze shot up from his lap, shocked, but he nodded and let Patton wrap his arms around him, cringing at how badly he was shaking beneath his hoodie, pulling him against his chest.

The anxious side’s breath hitched, and Patton just held him tighter as he finally dissolved into sobs, clutching at Patton’s shirt like he thought he would be ripped away at any second.

Like Patton would ever let him go.

“It’s ok, kiddo,” he promised. “It’s alright. You’re family now, remember? Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

“Indeed.” At some point, Logan had gotten up from the coffee table to sit beside them, carefully putting a comforting hand on Virgil’s back. “Even if we were angry over something, it would be an issue we could easily work out. Together. You never need to be afraid of losing us.”

The logical side began to rub soothing circles along Virgil’s hoodie, a clear attempt to help him settle down, while Roman cautiously scooted forward and placed his palm over Virgil’s hand, Patton still holding on tight.

“You’re one of us now,” Princey said. “Which means I am sworn to protect you! As long as I live and breathe, you’ll never be alone again! No harm shall ever--”

“Alright, Roman,” Patton said, gazing fondly at a now smiling Virgil. “I think he gets it.”

Virgil gave a small nod, pulling back slightly from Patton’s embrace, breaths still tiny, hiccuping sobs. “Yeah. Uh, thanks, you guys for...yeah. Thank you.”

“No need to thank us for stating the truth,” Logan said. “However, based on your reaction tonight, and the fact that this is not the first time something like this has happened, the logical conclusion is that this mindset is not a new occurrence. Am I correct?”

Patton thought about the broken mug, how terrified Virgil had looked when he’d thought they were upset with him, how he’d practically begged Roman to believe him when the prince had advanced. He thought about how tense Virgil would get whenever someone would raise their voice.

It was becoming more and more of a struggle not to start crying again.

“I guess so,” Virgil murmured, cheeks flushed red. “I mean, I’m literally Anxiety. I’ve had some, uh, bad experiences, I guess.”

“Kiddo--”

“No, no it’s fine!” Patton didn’t miss how tightly Virgil was squeezing Roman’s hand now. “It’s my fault, it’s...I should have said something. I should’ve...warned you guys, and I’m r-really sorry.”

Roman leaned forward, brow pinched. “Warned us?”

“About all of this,” Virgil said, like it was something obvious. “I’m not...easy to deal with. You guys know that already but it’s not just my function, it’s...it’s just me. I’m difficult and I-I don’t know how to fix it and I’m really s--”

“But we don’t want you to fix it,” Patton exclaimed before Virgil could apologize again. “We care about you, kiddo! Everyone’s gonna have flaws and setbacks. All of us, but that’s why you have family!”

“We do want you to feel safe here,” Logan added. “We’re all willing to assist you in feeling more comfortable. But we have no desire to change or fix you. I for one, have quite enjoyed getting to know you properly.”

Patton and Logan agreed without hesitation, beaming when Virgil hesitantly met each of their gazes. He looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears again, but this time it would be from something much different than fear and devastation.

“Oh,” he said, small but hopeful. “I...ok. Uh, same. To the...to the getting to know you guys thing. It’s been...it’s been really good.”

Patton smiled, giving Virgil one last squeeze before scooting back, clapping his hands together.

“I’m glad, kiddo,” he said. “You still up for dinner? Logan might even let us have ice cream for dessert!”

“Uh, yeah,” Virgil managed, Roman leading him to his feet while Logan rolled his eyes with a fond smile. “I-I’m good.”

“Excellent!” Roman was already making his way back to the kitchen. “I’ll clean up the glass and then we can continue!”

“I can help if you--”

“Nonsense!” Roman disappeared around the corner, already belting another Disney song, and Patton carefully took Virgil’s hands in his.

He was still a bit wary, but Patton could practically see him fighting against it, battling every instinct screaming at him to pull away, isolate himself out of self defense.

But he was still here. Still learning to love.

Patton couldn’t be more proud.

“Come on,” he said, pulling him towards the stairs. “No bare feet tonight, just to be safe. Don’t worry, I’ll let you borrow some of my fuzzy socks.”

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youtuberswithalex · 4 years ago

Text

PRVL, Volume 3, Chapter 4: Lessons Learned

Summary: With the second round of the tournament arriving, some of the team can't help but question where they stand in the minds of those they love.

Word count: 7,205

Warnings: Fighting (In a tournament), arguing, breakdown, talk about past death of a parent

I spent the last few days pounding out this chapter so I could post it today. Miss you, Monty. Keep moving forward.

Masterpost – Volume 1 – Previous - Next

-----

New Message from: Mom

Hi, sweetie. Been thinking about you a lot lately. I ran into Anise at the store yesterday (Remember her? Your friend Dominic’s mom), and she said she saw you fighting in the Vytal Tournament, so your dad and I looked it up. Happy to see your team made it into the next round. Dominic’s team apparently lost. He’s a little broken up about it. Maybe you could reach out, if you can find him. Anise would really appreciate it. I know you used to be close, so I’m sure he’d be happy to see you again.

New Message from: Mom

Your sister said she tried to text you. Did they come through? She’s worrying her scroll might be getting a little old…

New Message from: Mom

Could you message me back, please?

Delete Messages?

>YES< >NO<

---------------

Gunshots echoed through the training area, followed by a scream of frustration and the skidding of boots on the floor. Metal clanged and echoed, and footsteps pummeled.

After a moment, wings fluttered, and a body skidded across the floor. Roman groaned as he began to pick himself up.

“Had enough yet?”

Growling, he shot a glare over to where Anole was putting the halves of his bow back together. “Y’know, when I asked you to join me in training this morning, I meant helping me instead of, you know, absolutely destroying me.”

Anole returned the look with a cross of his arms. “Uh, y’know,” he mocked, “I wouldn’t be kicking your ass so hard if you took two seconds to pay attention to where you are before you attack.”

“I do!” Roman exclaimed. When Anole only raised an eyebrow, he got to his feet and put his hands on his hips. “I do!”

“So what you’re saying is, you meant to be blasted by Thomas’s semblance when saving Patton during round one and get your Aura knocked down by like, fifty percent?”

Roman’s face reddened. “That—That was one time!”

“And you were totally aware of that Cephalo when you stopped to talk to Virgil when your teammates were in danger on your mission?”

“Alright, that’s hardly fair—”

“And you knew the White Fang was coming to kidnap you, and you let them do it on purpose?” Anole held up a finger in pause. “If that one’s true, I might have to kill you myself.”

Roman groaned and threw his hands in the air. “Alright, I get it! So I tend to get tunnel vision in fights; big deal! It’s not like the distractions aren’t coming from the target themselves most of the time…”

Anole furrowed his brow and threw his arms out. “Wh—none of those distractions came from—!” He cut himself off and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Roman. Dude. It’s not just about fighting,” he said. “You gotta think about this stuff in regular, day-to-day life, too.”

Roman let out a laugh. “As if we aren’t training for fighting to be our day to day life.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Anole snapped. “This is exactly what I’m saying! I’m talking, like, people, and relationships and stuff, but you’re still focused on Hunter stuff!”

“Well, yeah! In case you haven’t noticed, we’re kind of in the middle of a biannual world tournament!” he exclaimed. “I do want my team to win, you know.”

“You were already knocked out! Because you weren’t paying attention!”

“I was! Just because it was on my teammate instead of my opponent doesn’t mean it was a bad thing!” Roman shot. “Patton could have gotten hurt if I hadn’t caught him!”

“And you got hurt instead,” Anole lowly pointed out.

Roman reeled back into stunned silence. “I-I didn’t…” His fists balled as he searched for his words. “I still had Aura left…”

Anole let out a breath and stepped forward, opening his arms in invitation. “I know,” he said. “That’s not what I meant.”

Roman looked at his brother for a moment, eyes flicking down to his open arms; his breath came out in a rush as he tucked himself into his grip.

Anole held him close for a long few minutes, saying nothing about his shoulder growing increasingly damp. He rocked him gently and ran his fingers through his hair. In return, Roman’s wings slowly curled around them.

“You’re not bad at fighting,” Anole eventually muttered. As Roman’s grip tightened, he hastily added, “Really, you’re not. I’ve seen you wipe the floor in 1v1 classroom fights a hundred times over. You’re good at what you do. You just… can’t be an idiot. You need to think, and pay attention, especially when you’re in the field. People are going to get hurt if you don’t.”

“I know,” Roman choked out.

“And that applies in regular life, too. You can’t just rush head-first into things without considering where they’re going to end up, or who it’s going to affect other than you… Especially when it involves other people.”

Roman frowned. He pulled back just enough to look Anole in the eye. “What do you mean?”

Anole, while he had the grace to appear the slightest bit embarrassed with the flush of his cheeks, gave his shoulders a squeeze and shrugged. “W-Well… Y’know, with you and Riad…”

“What about us?”

“I…”

Yanking himself away, Roman put his hands on his hips and shot a glare that felt a hundred times worse than the ones just moments ago. “No, go on. I want to hear what you have to say about me and my boyfriend’s relationship.”

Anole looked away and shuffled. “He’s not just your boyfriend,” he attempted to say under his breath.

Roman could do nothing but stare at his own brother for a long moment, just processing the words that had come out of his mouth. If it wasn’t for the cool, early morning light seeping through the windows, he could have sworn he was starting to see red.

“Is that what your problem is with us being together?” he snapped. “The fact that you don’t get to spend as much time with him anymore?”

“What? No, Roman—”

“You spend almost every moment with him that I’m not there, not to mention an entire year before me, and you’re jealous?”

“Ro—”

“I cannot believe that that’s what’s been up your… your scaly ass this whole time! Jealous because your brother and best friend are taking time away from you to be happy together!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Roman froze. Anole huffed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, I just— I don’t know what I’d do if one of you got hurt because of the other,” he admitted. “It would suck so much! I love you both so much, and I hate seeing either of you in pain! I hate seeing anyone I love being in pain! And… And knowing I’d have to pick a side, pick only one of you to stick by, it’s just… Gods, I hate it! And I’d especially hate it if I knew there was something I could have done to stop it!”

“…You think I’m going to hurt him,” Roman slowly said.

Anole stiffened. He finally looked back at Roman.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I think I know exactly what you meant.”

“Roman…”

Before Anole could say another word, Roman shut his eyes and shook his head. He turned and headed towards the door.

“I know you hate us being together,” he called over his shoulder, “But you don’t have to be such a jerk about it.”

The door slammed shut a moment later. Anole was left in suffocating silence.

---------------

“You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with me being your partner for this?”

Logan let out a soft sigh as he turned to look at his teammate. Patton’s fingers fiddled with the edge of his shield, and he was staring at the arena floor as if he expected it to jump out at him.

“Yes, Patton,” he said for what must have been the fifth time since they stepped onto the field. “You are undoubtedly the best choice for this fight, in many more ways than one.” After a beat, he added, “Besides, even if I were to change my mind, it’s far too late to do anything about it now.”

Patton’s head snapped up, eyes blown wide. “I-I’m sure there’s still time! The other team isn’t even here yet; I could run and go get Virgil, if you want!”

“There is no need, Patton. I was merely expressing a hypothetical situation,” Logan quickly corrected. “I am happy to have you joining me for this fight.”

There was a beat where Patton could do nothing but blink owlishly at him; even after it passed, all he could do was look back at the floor and say, “…Oh.”

A purple rubber ball rolled up to their feet.

“Sorry!” a voice cried.

A girl wearing a red and white sports uniform sprinted over and scooped it up before jogging back to the other side of the platform, where another person stood, shaking his head.

“Valerie, come on,” he chuckled. “We haven’t even started and you’re losing track of that thing.”

“Come on, I just dropped it!” Valerie said back.

Her partner rolled his eyes, smile on his face, and leaned his weight on the long spear in his hands that was about his same height. His cloak slipped off of the gold plated armor that rested on his right arm. “Uh huh, and which piece of padding did it ‘drop-bounce’ off of?”

“Jo!” Valerie huffed.

Patton giggled at the banter, only to slap his hand over his mouth when it drew the attention of the other two to him. They stared at him for a beat, and then looked at each other and began to laugh.

“Nice to meet you,” Jo said. “Patton and Logan, right? Team PRVL?”

Logan nodded. “And you must be Valerie and Jo of Team SVIJ.”

“Huh, would you look at that,” he replied. “The boys and the girls both did their homework.”

Valerie winked at Jo. “But only us girls are making it to the next round.”

“I’m not one right now, but you’ve got the spirit.”

Patton let out a soft whimper, but Logan only smiled.

“We’ll see about that,” he answered.

The platform beneath them shifted as the fields began to fill into place; all four turned and inspected them as they rose to the floor. A forest, pirate ship, the geysers, and…

Valerie gasped. “The gravity fields! Oh, you two are going down!”

“Val, don’t give our strategies away!”

“In three… two… one…”

They scrambled to get into position.

“BEGIN!”

Valerie threw her ball in the air and jumped after it, twirling up just high enough to slam her padded knee into it, surrounding it in a bright purple glow, and send it flying towards Logan and Patton. The two dove out of the way just in time; when the ball hit the ground, it dimmed and skidded like it was made of stone. She leapt towards it and grabbed it while somersaulting, and as soon as she was back on her feet, she tossed it up and began to bounce it between her knees. The purple glow grew with each hit.

Logan caught himself from tumbling by placing one hand on the ground and pressing down hard until he slowed to a stop. The second he regained his balance, he changed his book into its pistol form and aimed at Valerie’s ball; just as he was about to fire, Jo’s spear flew in and knocked it out of his hand. While his weapon skidded away, the spear redirected itself and soared right back into Jo’s hand just as he started to charge at Logan.

He was quick to throw up his arm and block the first swing, but Jo was quicker, grabbing the bar between his spear’s double-blades and detaching it from its handle. He balanced the pole on Logan’s forearm armor and spun it; Logan ducked down and somersaulted underneath Jo’s legs just before it collided with the back of his head. Jo whipped around and slammed the blades toward him, but they smashed into the ground while Logan leapt up and sprinted towards his own weapon.

“That’s my son!” a voice cried from the stands.

Logan cast a quick glance up to where his father was on his feet, screaming and jumping up and down. He let out a huff of exasperation before focusing back on the fight.

Letting out a yelp, Patton hastily threw his shield in front of his face just before Valerie’s ball could hit. It bounced off, the impact creating a vibration so intense he could practically feel his bones shake, and shot back towards her. She jumped a few inches off of the ground to headbutt it against the purple sweatband on her forehead, right back into his shield. Patton whimpered and took a step back as another bout of discomfort shot through his whole body. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to focus, but at the next hit, he felt a tingle run up his arms. He bit his tongue and tried to keep it in.

“Patton!”

A strap wrapped around his bicep and yanked him away just in time, the ball just grazing the side of his head as he was whipped away. He found himself tumbling across the floor, only landing on his feet by chance; when he inevitably lost his balance, Logan caught him by the shoulders and righted him.

“Breathe, Patton,” he ordered. “Try to focus it.”

With a battle cry, Jo leapt into the air and brandished their re-combined spear over their head. Patton shoved Logan away and held up his shield. Jo didn’t miss a beat; he shifted just enough to use it as a springboard and flipped over him, choosing instead to javelin the spear at Logan, who sidestepped it and flung his book into his stomach. The impact sent Jo flying into the gravity fields, and his spear wasn’t far after.

A split second later, the glowing rubber ball flew between their heads, followed by Valerie chasing after both it and her teammate. She turned and shot a wink at them, smile as bright as her weapon.

“Catch us if you can!” she laughed.

As soon as her feet left the middle platform, Valerie soared into the air, leaning forward enough to hit her ball against an elbow pad and send it towards Jo; she flipped a couple of times before coming to a gentle landing on one of the large walls floating above the ground. Jo stood upside down on a platform above her and swung his spear at the ball, knocking it back to her like a game of baseball. She sent it back with her knee and ran up the wall to get closer to her teammate.

“That’s what the gravity fields do?!” Patton squeaked.

But Logan was already sprinting towards their opponents, only allowing himself a little wobble when he jumped off of the main floor and was pulled towards a platform three away from the others. Patton swallowed thickly and followed after.

His head began to swim once he was in the air, feeling himself being pulled towards or against all sorts of different directions; immediately, his arms and legs shot out, trying to get the balance that the area had no laws over. His stomach flipped as quickly as he himself did, and he watched as patches of ice started to form on the platforms he passed.

In the stands, Virgil cringed and ran a hand through his hair, ducking half his face beneath the wall in front of their seats as if it could shield him from what was happening to his partner. “Oh, Pat…!”

“That can’t be good,” Thamir said.

Logan somersaulted and used his hands to launch himself off of his platform, righting himself perfectly to land the final gap between himself and Jo. Jo turned to glance at him and smirked; the ball came flying in, and he batted it towards Logan, who threw up an arm for it to bounce against. It sent a shot of pain through his muscles, but it bounced at just the right angle for it to fly away from either of the members of Team SVIJ. Valerie began to maneuver her way back to it while Logan reared back and threw his book at Jo.

The strap wrapped tight around his spear, and Jo attempted to yank back and pull Logan with him, but he dug his heels into the floor and held his ground. He grabbed the strap with both hands and pulled, locking them in a tug of war of weapons.

Beneath them, the white glow around the edges of the platform switched to purple, and their feet lifted off of the floor. As they fell, they both yanked themselves towards each other, punching and kicking when they were close enough, until the side of another platform separated them. They both slammed against the floor of their respective sides.

As Logan clambered to his feet, a hand brushed against his hair, and he looked up in time to watch Patton yelp as he floated by.

“Logan, help!” he cried.

“Get to a platform!”

“I don’t know how!”

Before Logan could reply, he was yanked away and over the edge of the platform, the force causing him to lose his grip on his strap and send him flying in a completely different direction. He crashed into a large cube with a grunt. As he pushed himself up, he watched Jo tuck his book into his jacket and leap off to another platform.

Logan growled and pushed himself to his feet, only for the gravity to begin to shift again. He sprinted up the wall as fast as he could and dove, grabbing onto the corner just as his feet lifted off of the ground. Carefully, he swung his other arm up and pulled himself to the top as he calculated how to get to either Valerie or Jo from where he was.

Just as he began to stand, a yell sounded behind him, and a body slammed into his back, sending them both back to the floor. Valerie’s ball rolled innocently across their faces as he and Patton hurried back to their feet.

“H-Hey, I made it to a platform finally!” Patton laughed.

Logan glared. “Patton…,” he growled.

Before he could say another word, Patton reached down and snatched the ball up, tucking it under his arm. “Well, if they can steal your weapon, we can steal theirs, too! No need to play dirty in a tourna—Oof!”

Valerie slammed her feet into Patton’s back, sending him flying off the platform and her ball out of his grip and into the air; she hit it up with her elbow and blocked a punch from Logan before kicking him in the chest and sending him back a few steps. They repeated this a few times, with Valerie playing keepie-uppie with her weapon and Logan throwing attacks in between, until Logan’s legs were knocked out from under him and he dropped to the floor.

He rolled to the side just in time to dodge Jo’s spear coming towards him and slamming his elbow into his chest. As Jo recoiled, Logan smashed the heel of his palm into his chin and kicked him back into Valerie, who dropped her ball as the two stumbled off of the edge.

Logan was about to leap after them when Patton crashed into him again and sent them flying in a different direction than intended. They each grabbed onto each other by instinct as they swirled around, but once Logan’s head stopped spinning, he huffed and shot Patton a glare.

“I’m sorry!” Patton yelped in return. “I didn’t mean to!”

In a split second decision, Logan grabbed his teammate’s wrist and whirled as hard as he could, launching Patton out of the gravity fields and back towards center stage. Patton’s gasp and wide eyes followed Logan as the momentum sent himself onto another platform; as he landed, he checked to make sure safely made it to the floor.

Roman threw his hands in the air and jumped up, practically yanking Riad out of his seat when he refused to let go of his hand. “What is he doing?!”

Virtus and Esther glanced at each other, both letting out a soft, deflating sigh.

A blast of wind slowed Patton’s trajectory down, but he tumbled across the floor no less. With a quick glance at the scoreboard to check his Aura, Logan determined Patton would be alright while he took Team SVIJ out on his own.

Jo threw his spear at Valerie’s ball and knocked it over to where the two of them stood; she jumped up and caught it, and as soon as his weapon was back in his hands, they turned their backs to each other and looked around.

“Where’d you go, kid?” Jo muttered.

A blur shot by to their side, and they snapped their gazes over in time to see Logan high in the air above. His fist was reared back, and his necklace about to hit himself in the face; the platform behind him began to suck him towards it, but the gravity shifted just in time.

He let out a cry as the fields launched him towards the two.

They each jumped to the side just as he smashed into the ground; they reared their weapons back, but Logan was quick to block. He swatted Jo’s spear to shoot over his shoulder, and punched Valerie’s ball up and away. Jo threw his weapon across his body and pulled him tight to his chest, but Logan grabbed it and shoved it away, throwing his head back to collide with his jaw. While he stumbled, he ripped it away and used it to swipe Valerie’s feet out from under her.

He spun and crouched, holding the blade towards Jo while he recovered. As soon as he realized what had happened, he glared and pulled Logan’s book out of his jacket, switching it immediately into its pistol form and firing a few rounds. Logan spun the spear to block each bullet before charging towards him, blade out.

As soon as he was close enough, Jo ducked and somersaulted underneath Logan’s legs, purposefully knocking one out with his shoulder. Logan stumbled and rolled; he got back to his feet as fast as he could, only for the rubber ball to slam into his chest. The force knocked the spear out of his hand and sent him flying up and off of the platform.

He managed to right himself before landing on the closest ground he could find, only dropping to his knees when it pulled him in faster than he was expecting. He allowed himself just a moment to catch his breath and assess the situation when bullets began to strike the ground around him. Shooting to his feet, he ran, glancing over to watch as Jo fired Logan’s pistol while Valerie charged up her ball.

Logan was just about to leap again when a bullet knocked the book out of Jo’s hands; shortly after, another hit the ball away.

Right on the edge of center stage, Patton held up his shield, one eye shut for aim as he fired at their opponents.

A spark of pride shot through Logan’s soul just as he reached the top of the platform. He turned to send Patton a smile and thumbs up, when—

His foot slid out from under him.

Logan sucked in a gasp as he slipped off of the edge, hands reaching to grip the edge and catch himself, but they were only met with slippery ice. As he tumbled towards the ground, he bounced off of no less than two separate platforms; he slammed into the corner of the third and final one before he found himself hitting the tiles below.

A buzzer sounded.

“Ooh, and there goes the powerhouse of Team PRVL!” Professor Port’s voice yelled. “A rare ring-out caused by a student’s own teammate!”

Logan felt the blood drain from his face.

“It’s up to Mr. Passio to save this match now! But can he do it without any aid from his team?”

Patton’s eyes widened as Jo and Valerie started to make their way over to him. He fired a few rounds towards them, but they dodged without missing a beat.

“Pat, go for cover!” Virgil screamed.

Just as they were leaping off of the last platform, Patton turned on his heel and started to sprint towards the trees. He heard them hit the ground, and just a second later, Jo’s spear flew past. He yelped and spun around; immediately, he threw his shield up to block the ball. A whimper ripped out of his throat at both the sound and the shock crawling up his forearms.

Patton forced himself to take a deep breath before allowing himself to look up; the two were sprinting towards him at full speed. He squeezed his eyes shut and threw out his hand towards the ground, trying to focus on the fear running through his veins instead of the electricity.

Just as he opened his eyes, Valerie stepped on the sheet of ice that had formed in front of her. She froze and cried out, face contorting in pain, and stumbled down to the ground before ripping herself away from the area.

A blast of wind knocked Jo back a few steps while Patton gasped, but he recovered quick enough; his spear flew back into his hands, and he swung it towards his side. Patton jumped sideways and blocked it with his shield. While he was turned away, Jo jabbed his fingers into the side of his neck, and Patton screamed. His knees buckled, hand flying up to protect the area.

Jo startled at the reaction and went to catch him, but ice shot out around them, and he fell to the ground on top of him. He was quick to roll off, but a statically charged punch hit him in the stomach, causing him to slide halfway across the field. He landed near Valerie, who was just shaking off her own pain and reaching for her ball.

Patton, back on his feet, whirled around to look at them, eyes filled with panicked tears and hands cupping his neck. Crackles of electricity flew off his forearms, and his breath came out in erratic gasps.

Jo and Valerie shot each other concerned glances.

In the stands, both Virgil and Roman shot to their feet and grabbed the wall in front of them in white-knuckled grips.

“No, no, no, not now!”

“Breathe, Patton, breathe! Shit!”

Carefully getting to her feet, Valerie looked over at Patton. “We gotta end this,” she stated to Jo.

He glanced up at the board and pulled his spear into his hands. “His Aura’s low. One good hit should knock him out,” he replied. “Watch out for his electricity.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Jo planted his feet in the ground and held out his spear; Valerie grabbed onto the handle between the blades and started to run. He whipped her around himself a few times before she detached the blades and skated at full speed towards Patton. He threw out his left hand to try to catch her, but she grabbed him by the shield and twisted his arm behind his back. Bolts of lightning started to shoot out, but she held tight, using his weapon to her advantage.

On the other end of the stage, Jo backed up as far as he could before sprinting to the ice and hopping on, arm reared back as far as it could go. He slammed his fist into Patton’s stomach and used his torso to catch himself, sliding to a stop next to Valerie.

Patton fell to the floor and covered his ears as the buzzer echoed through the arena.

The screams of the crowd and the cheers of the announcers were lost to their ears as they dropped down next to him.

“Are you okay?” Jo asked.

Patton nodded, despite choking on a sob.

In an instant, Logan was skidding across the ice on his knees to make it to his teammate. He reached up and grabbed both of Patton’s biceps, squeezing them tight when he whimpered.

“Patton? Patton, it’s alright,” he tried.

Virgil and Roman bolted as soon as the fight was over, nearly tripping over Virtus and Esther in their haste to get to the aisle. Esther was quick to follow, and Riad and Thamir weren’t far behind.

Just as Virtus was getting up to join them, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he froze. The all too familiar feeling of eyes on him caused his skin to crawl. His eyes flicked around the crowd until he found the source, standing at the bottom of the balcony two sections above.

Despite having been caught, the woman stood her ground, and they started at each other for a long, arduous moment. Virtus couldn’t read her expression from as far away as she was, especially with half of her face covered, but between her crossed arms and stiff posture, he could only find himself putting his guard up.

After a long minute, she finally turned and headed up the stairs, magenta ponytail flicking behind her.

Virtus watched her go before following after his family.

--------------------

“Patton— Patton, please just let me—”

“Ah—Ah! Roman…!”

Letting out a soft huff, Roman sat back on the bed, ice pack dropping to his lap. “It’s going to bruise if we don’t ice it, Pat,” he stated. “Do you have any idea how painful bruised gills are? Because from what I hear, it’s a lot.”

“It feels fine right now,” Patton whined.

“Yeah, because Virgil’s holding you.”

Virgil’s already-closed eyes squeezed tighter, and he pulled Patton closer against his chest. “Don’t distract me,” he muttered.

Patton patted his arm with his free hand while his other gripped white-knuckled at his collar. “C-Can’t we just put it on top of this? The cold would get through eventually, right?”

“It would if you’d let me touch your neck,” Roman pointed out.

He immediately curled in on himself, shoulders almost coming up to his ears; they bumped against Virgil’s jaw, and he flinched. Patton let out a hiss when the pain started to seep back in.

“Gah—sorry, sorry!”

Virgil quickly pulled him into his arms again. Roman could only watch and offer Patton a pointed stare. When the ache began to ebb, their leader looked up and sighed.

“Am I allowed to hold it instead?” he asked, voice wavering dangerously close to tears.

If there was anything that could convince Roman to break every rule he knew, it was a sad Patton.

Reluctantly, he handed him the ice pack. “You can’t hold it on for too long at a time,” he said, “Or it’s going to burn your scales and hurt even worse. Fifteen minutes at a time, max.”

Patton wiped at his eyes and carefully peeled his collar away just enough to set it on his swollen gills. A shiver wracked up his spine, prompting both Virgil and Roman to reach to wrap his detached cape tighter around him. He squirmed under the attention.

“Guys, I’m fine, really,” he whispered.

Letting out a soft sigh, Virgil carefully rested his forehead on Patton’s opposite shoulder. “We know, we’re just… worried about you,” he said. His eyes flicked over to the empty other side of the room. “…Logan, too. But he’s too stubborn to let us take care of him.”

“He isn’t not letting us take care of him,” Roman replied. “I’m sure he just wants to be with his parents right now.”

“…He really wanted to win, didn’t he?”

The question hung in the air, answer only coming with the silence it created. Patton frowned and lowered his ice pack, fingers reaching up to fiddle with the clasp of his collar.

“I hope he’s alright.”

--------------------

Logan clutched tight at his necklace, tugging at it as if it would help his cause. “Father, please.”

“Logan, no,” Virtus answered. “You don’t need to do any training tonight. You fought great today and deserve a rest!”

“I do not. There is clearly a need for me to keep working, and I would like to take advantage of you being here while you are,” Logan shot back.

Virtus rubbed a hand over his face, leaning back against the wall outside of the training arena. “You won’t learn anything if you’re exhausted.”

“Falsehood. Any training will still extend to my muscle memory.”

“But your brain isn’t going to retain it after a day like today.”

Crossing his arms, Logan raised an eyebrow. “Father, you of all people should know that we won’t have time to rest and recover when we’re in the field,” he stated.

“I do know that, and that’s exactly why I’m pushing you to relax,” he said, waving an arm out. “Look around you. You’ve got yourself surrounded by friends, training partners, time to study and do what you want… Take advantage of it while you’re here, Logan. This isn’t going to last forever.”

Logan scowled. “Why should I take advantage of it when it only serves to underprepare me? I can’t let myself get used to the luxuries here.”

“Because you’re going to miss this.” Virtus shook his head and looked around campus. “These four years are your last chance to be a kid, you know. Enjoy it while you can. It might not seem like it now, but after you graduate, you’re going to wish you had another chance to be young and reckless without any serious consequences.

“I don’t want you to look back with regret that you grew up too fast. I know you already did when… when we lost your mother. You deserve a chance at the same carefree childhood that the rest of us had. I know you have that here with your team, your friends. You can’t just push away everything that’s kind to you to harden up for the real world. It’s going to eventually do that for you anyway.”

Logan’s face slowly began to soften as he mulled over what he’d been told. A deep, weighted breath tumbled out of his lungs, and he looked away, closing his eyes.

“Father… I understand what you’re attempting to say,” he muttered, “But I can’t… I can’t—I can’t let myself continue to be a failure because I didn’t push myself enough when I could have.”

Virtus froze. “Failure?” he asked. “When have you ever been a failure?”

Letting out a huff, Logan turned and began to pace.

“I have been consistently failing at nearly everything from the moment I arrived at Beacon Academy!” he admitted. “I fail to keep myself focused on my studies instead of getting distracted by the world around me. I fail to understand how to form relationships of any sort; all of my friends so far have either been through assignments or association! I failed to realize Virgil was starting to struggle with anxiety before it impacted his health, I failed to save Roman before he got himself into danger twice, and I’m still failing to help Patton cope with what we’re increasingly suspecting to be autism, despite the fact that I’m autistic and am the most qualified of our team to teach him!”

Virtus opened his mouth, but Logan whirled around with desperate eyes before he could get a word out.

“And you saw what happened today!” he cried. “I thought I was making the right decisions, but everything I did was wrong! I failed my team, I failed Patton, I failed you! And I…”

Logan sucked in a trembling breath, turning his face away before his father could see the growing wetness of his eyes.

“…I failed Mother.”

Virtus could only think of one time where his world was rocked so suddenly.

“Logan… Logan, no, no, Logie!”

His breath rushed out of him as he rushed to his son, wrapping his arms tight around him and burying his nose in his hair. He cupped the back of his head and gently began to rock them; when Logan hugged him back, he could feel the slight tremor in his arms.

It was a long few minutes before they moved again. Virtus pulled away first, keeping a hand on Logan’s back, and directed them to a nearby bench, where he had Logan sit. Virtus kneeled down in front of him and pulled his mask down to his chin.

“There has not been a single moment since the day you were born where I wasn’t so incredibly proud of the person you’ve become,” he assured. “You are, without a doubt, the greatest thing that ever happened to us. You’re strong, you’re brilliant, you have a good heart, even if you struggle to express it sometimes… It’s like someone took the best parts of your mother and I and put them into one person. How could I ever not be proud of you?”

He reached up and gently took hold of Logan’s necklace, an old ache hiding just behind his eyes.

“I knew your mother better than almost anyone,” he said, slight crack in his voice, “and I know she felt the same way. She never, never would have seen you as a failure. Especially not over something as silly as a tournament.”

“I wanted to win for her,” Logan choked out. “I thought… I thought if I could get as far as she did, then I’d have lived up to her expectations. I’d have lived up to her. But I-I couldn’t even do that.”

Virtus took Logan’s hands and held them tight. “The only expectations she had for you was for you to be happy, Logan. She couldn’t have cared less about your skills as a Huntsman. You could have been knocked out by a gust of wind, and she’d have loved you all the same. You were her pride and joy, and nothing in this world could have ever changed that.”

He pulled a hand away to cup Logan’s cheek, doing what he could to cover the scars from view. A soft smile formed on his lips.

“I see so much of her in you,” he whispered. “The way you fight, the way you speak… The way you put so much pressure on yourself to do better, even when you’re already giving more than you have to offer.” He started to rub soft circles into his skin. “And I’m going to tell you the same thing I always told her: You’re doing fine.”

Logan shook his head, refusing to look at him. “But Mother—”

“—Had her flaws, too,” Virtus interrupted. “She didn’t win every fight. She didn’t catch every sign when her friends were struggling. And she certainly wasn’t perfect. But she was so, so loved, not just despite all that, but because of it, and you are, too.”

He pulled his hand away from his face, scooping up both of Logan’s again.

“You are, too,” he repeated.

Sucking in a trembling breath, Logan nodded. His shoulders hesitantly lowered, as if he was forcing himself to lift a weight that had haunted him for years.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

“And Logan…”

Virtus sighed, looking at the ground.

“I love you and I am so proud of you,” he said. “I know you know that, and I know you know Esther does, too. And we always want to you understand that you can always come to us when you’re struggling with something.”

He squeezed his hands before turning back to him. “But you need to rely on your team, too,” he stated. “They love you and care about you just as much as we do, and I’m sure they want to help you as much as you want to help them. I know you’re strong, and you’re capable of handling things on your own; you’ve been doing it since the day you scaled the bookcase in the living room when we put your favorite story on the top shelf.”

Logan let out a weak laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you scream louder than when you saw me.”

“And I never saw your mother move as fast as she did when it startled you and you lost your footing,” Virtus chuckled.

Another noise came out of Logan, this one a mix between a laugh and a sob; a tear trailed down his cheek. He reached to wipe it away, but Virtus gently caught his wrist and used the pad of his own thumb to do it instead.

“My point is,” he said, “You don’t have to do everything alone, Logan. Let your friends take care of you. I’m more than willing to bet that they’d be honored to have the chance. Okay?”

Logan nodded, but the deep frown on his face didn’t budge. “I… I just don’t think I know how,” he admitted.

Virtus offered him a soft smile.

“Then let them teach you.”

Logan considered this for a long moment, and then he nodded again, tipping forward to rest his forehead on his father’s shoulder. Virtus wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

For one blissful moment, it almost felt like everything was okay in the world. Every problem, every emotional strain and social struggle fell away when his father was there to shield him.

In the back of his mind, Logan was reminded of a time where he felt the cold sting of a winter breeze on his ears. The crunching of footsteps against a thick blanket of snow landed in time with the jostling of his tiny body against her shoulder. He could practically still smell the vanilla and coffee radiating off of the thick coat he rested on. Her silky brunette hair tickled when it brushed against his face.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. But he knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

When they finally pulled away, a soft set of footsteps approached.

“I think you’ve both earned a little something nice today,” Esther quietly spoke, holding out the drink carrier in her hands. “Hot apple cider with a hint of caramel, fresh out of the press.”

Virtus climbed up to the bench to sit to the left of Logan, and Esther sat herself on his right, passing out the drinks with only soft “thank-you”s to break the silence. Their shoulders rested against each other as they sipped, despite the ample room on their seat, serving as a gentle reminder of their presence.

Logan found his eyes drifting towards the building where his dorm was. He could see the light on inside, but they were far too distant to be able to make out anymore details. A dull pang settled in his heart at the thought of them having fun without him; he pressed his lips together and looked down at his lap.

Perhaps he could skip training for one night.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #rwby au #prvl #alex writes

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brandstifter-sys · 4 years ago

Text

Before You Know It

Word Count: 1475. (Ao3)

Relationship: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warnings: disease mention, mild gore mention, implied violence, self-depreciation, sex mention

Remus is a lot wiser than he lets on, and he is the one side who could reach Virgil before he got accepted. And even now he's still good at helping the emo he loves feel better

-------

Janus sighed and closed the door behind him. It was no use, not this time, not after that display of disregard. He clutched the icepack, now warm with tears, and looked up at the side waiting for answers.

“He won’t listen to me, not this time, even with hypnosis,” he sighed, “Maybe you can reach him, Remus. Someone has to.”

Remus nodded solemnly and sank out. Virgil wasn’t leaving his room, and after the video that day, it was understandable why he would want to hide. Thomas turned him into a cartoon. Thomas made him fly to California. Thomas made him a supervillain. Thomas punched him. in. the. face. Rejection was one thing, but that, that broke him. Remus and Janus feared for the worst.

“Oh Virgilisonfire!" he sang as he rose up in the dimly lit room. His slimy black heart broke at the sight of Anxiety curled up and slumped over his knees, bundled in blankets with his hood up. He had a nasty bruise on his cheek that shone under a glaze of tears.

"All I want is to protect him," Virgil sniffed and hugged himself tighter, "But I'm not doing that anymore."

Remus approached the bed and sat down next to him.

"What do you mean? You're protecting him still. He's just an idiot. And that's saying something coming from your favorite horny dumbass!" Remus giggled and wrapped an arm around him.

"I'm holding him back, I'm hurting him, and I don't blame him for hating me. I'm a disease. A terrible illness that won't stop making things worse."

"You? Kickin-bod Crane? No no no no, that's not right, not at all," Remus pouted and pulled him closer with no resistance.

"Versa E-Verge, you aren't some sexy strain of yersinia pestis, I would be harassing you day and night if you were," he said, getting a snort from Virgil, "No, you are not the plague. You have your moments of overdoing it, but who doesn't? You do a lot for the big T that he doesn’t appreciate, and you know that, you just gotta stay determined to do you.”

“But doing me hurts him so much. Even if I do some good stuff, I do a lot more harm and he hates me for it. He’s right to hate me. I’m not the plague but I am a sickness, like the Spanish flu.”

“You wanna go with disease metaphors? Okay! You know you only have to deal with the Spanish flu once, and he deals with you a lot more than that. You, my gloomy goober, have bad times, and they’re as basic as a common cold!” Remus said with a bright grin, making Virgil scowl, “Yeah, you’re not some terrible illness, you’re just a common cold, gone before you know it, and then back at it again and it’s predictable. You’re not killing him, making him rot from the inside out or destroying his vital organs, you’re a mild inconvenience when shit hits the fan. Those bad times pass, and then you’re not what he thinks is a problem. Again, I’m telling you, Thomas is dumb, like he has three Kronk's in his personality.”

“Three?” Virgil questioned and wiped his eyes, “I know Princey and Patton are, but who’s the third?”

“Me!” Remus laughed and threw his arms out. Virgil let out a small laugh and shook his head.

“Kronk is kind, strong, respectful, and moronic.”

“Yeah, I know!”

“You’re not moronic.”

“Aw!” Remus squealed and pulled Virgil into a bear hug, earning a fond groan in response. Virgil took a minute to free his arms and hug back, but he managed to do it.

“Thanks, Dukey, you always know what to say to help.”

“I also know how what to say to make you incredibly uncomfortable, disturbed, disgusted, and horn—"

“Shut up a bit and lemme have this moment.”

“Okay, Scare Bear. We love you, even if they don’t. I love you.”

---------------

Two Years Later…

“You know what's funny. You used to really unsettle me,” Virgil said, finally addressing him without the others intervening. Remus pouted and rolled his neck, wondering why Janus hadn’t popped up for this load of bull.

“I thought that you were some...terrible illness.” That caught his attention, and a soft smile crept onto his face. He could see where Virgil was going with this, the subtlety masked his meaning perfectly.

“Now I can see that you're just...a common cold...a mild inconvenience...that's gone before you know it."

Remus couldn’t fight the laugh that bubbled from his chest, “Oh, you TickleMe Emo! I enjoyed this! Good seeing you again, Virgil! Ah, it was just like old times!” He didn’t need to see more than that reluctant half-smile before sinking out.

After a quick bit of annoying Roman, because no sibling can easily resist the urge to be a pain, Remus actually returned to his room. It really was fun to finally get to interact with Thomas face-to-face, even if he didn’t give the duke a positive reception. Not that Remus was looking for positivity in this case, he was busy being an alarm that something wasn’t right. That something was Janus, refusing to leave his room for anything. Remus absolutely refused to offer any advice to help his slithering partner in crime, since Janus was too stubborn and his advice was probably what led to Virgil ducking out.

Remus flopped on his four-poster bed and sighed. Maybe his advice from before did reach Virgil as he intended, maybe it wasn't enough back then. Seeing him so hostile recently should have made Remus see that he forgot those words until Logan brought up doctors. It wouldn't have surprised the duke if Virgil willingly forgot about their history together. It stung but Remus saw it coming. He didn't see what was just on the horizon.

"Octopup?" Virgil's shaking voice got Remus to sit up. His heart broke when he saw Virgil standing in front of him, hugging himself with his head hanging. He was shaking and terrified.

"Need a hug, Scare Bear?" Remus asked and held his arms open, as if nothing had changed. Virgil crashed into him, knocking him back and clinging to him for dear life. Remus held him close and stroked his hair.

"So do you want to tell me what's wrong or should I just keep doing this?"

"I–I—" Virgil stammered, fighting back tears, "I told Thomas I was one of you. He didn't take it well."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're still one of us. You always have a place here, even if you don't think you do. You really think that we would just stop caring about you even though you left?"

"I've been horrible to you. Why would you want me back?"

"No one is trying to bring you back, we understand that you had to go. But you are always welcome if you want to visit our little cesspool."

"Remus," Virge said, pulling away to look at him, "it's not a cesspool. I know you aren't just intrusive thoughts and you do other good things. I just got stuck on the horrible things that could happen."

"I guess I really did unsettle you."

"Whenever you said, 'I love you,'" Virge admitted shyly, "I kinda figured it was just low-stakes platonic and I kinda—"

"Wanted it to be higher stakes?" Remus continued, "Because I have some good news for you!"

"Knowing I missed out is not good news."

"Then it's a good thing it's not that!" Remus giggled and held him closer, "I want you to be happy, Harlot's Web, but it would be so much better to be able to be the reason you smile and laugh. I love you, Virge and I don't care if you don't love me back, I just want you to be comfortable and confident and the image in my head when I j—"

Virgil surged forward and kissed him, desperately but sweetly. It caught Remus by surprise, but he was a man who lived for surprises! But Virgil pulled away before he could kiss back.

"I—I'm–I shouldn't've—" Virgil yelped and covered his mouth, ready to cry again.

"But you did, and I'm not complaining!" Remus teased, "But if you aren't comfortable with it, I'm good like this. You don't have to worry about me and my feelings right now, you need some creature comfort, and I am a slimy creature built for comfort—and pleasure!"

"I love you too, you himbo trash man!" Virgil grumbled and hid his face in Remus' shoulder, "Thank you for being there for me, even now."

"Aw, Scare Bear!" Remus squealed and hugged him even tighter. Virgil didn't fight to break free. He nuzzled closer and melted into the embrace. He felt like he was home for the first time in forever.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #janus sanders #mild gore mention tw #implied violence tw #disease mention tw #sex menton tw #self-depreciation tw #sandyscribed

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