hyacinth-j

[hyacinth-j]

Feliz Aniversario-💓🥳

[hyacinth-j]

Don't beat yourself up for feeling a certain way. Your feelings are valid. They might not always make sense or be reasonable, but they are valid, you are allowed to feel however you feel. You don't choose your feelings, so it's not your fault. Take a few deep breaths, be gentle to yourself. It's gonna pass eventually.

[hyacinth-j]

[hyacinth-j]

You don’t need a good reason to exist right now. You don’t need a grand purpose or anything. Just be here, have a nice laugh, and be yourself. And if there’s a day where you aren’t able to do that, you have tomorrow and all your days after that. I love you.

[hyacinth-j]

08.26.23

Lately , it feels so heavy. Being in the environment or people your not belong to. I always feel so out of place.They made me feel that i'm not belong. It was really hard trying to fit myself in the people that don't like me at all. I'm really trying .... And it hurts me alot everytime i try my best to approach and talk to them casual so that i can be close to them but they just ignored me. They act like they didn't hear me but they're obviously avoiding me. I'm so tired encountering this kind of scenario everyday . I'm also human. I feel hurt to ,I'm not numb .I'm just pretending it didn't affect but deep inside it affect me so much to the point that i don't want to continue my course anymore and transfer to another school , so that i can walk away and find another place or environment that fits me. An environment were someone would appreciates me....

I don't know until when i can take this , cause i'm really really tired... I don't know what to do....

[hyacinth-j]

He was my first love when we we're elem , I thought after all the years had passed my feelings for him will fade . That's what i thought but it's not. I thought after all these years i already accepted that me and him will not literally perfect match for each other. He was like boy next door. He's smart , i'm not. He's popular, while me i'm just nobody. I'm a loner . He was also " crush ng bayan" .There's a big gap between me and him.It was like his at the top and im in below . Despite of our differences and status i really do like him and i know it was impossible for him to like me back and it hurts me really really bad now that he has a girlfriend .

Maybe that's how's life goes. Not every things or person we want is for us it may be destined to be part of our memory or life and just remain like that....

His girl right now is so lucky to have him in her life. I wish i was her .... I was hoping in a parallel universe or in another life that i and him will have a chance together...