#patton and remus are only mentioned though

[monkeythefander]

A Halloween Meet Cute ❤️💜

Summary: Virgil doesn’t usually like parties. But this Halloween party might result in the start of something wonderful, with a certain someone in a sparkly costume.

Relationship(s): Romantic Prinxiety, background/mentioned Romantic Intruality

AU: College/Human AU

Content Warning(s): mention of alcohol (not in detail though and none is physically present in this story). Let me know if I missed anything else.

Click below the cut to read the fanfiction

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Virgil sits on the back porch of the house. He takes a deep breath and not for the first time this evening, contemplates why he came to this party in the first place.

It’s Halloween night and Virgil is currently sitting on the back porch of Patton’s family’s house. Patton had invited several students from their university to his Halloween party. Virgil knew he wouldn’t know anyone besides Patton and Remus at the party, but he couldn’t find it in himself to decline Patton’s invitation. The bubbly man had told Virgil about all the decorations he got and activities he had planned for the party throughout the planning process. Patton also wasn’t planning on letting anyone bring alcohol to the party because most people who he invited are under legal-drinking age, and he also wanted to avoid anyone causing chaos or getting sick. Overall, the party plans sounded fun and safe, so Virgil ended up attending.

But as he sits out on the porch in his vampire costume, he can’t help but feel stupid for attending. Patton, being a social butterfly, spent most of the party trying to chat with everyone and keep everyone entertained. He was also spending a lot of time with Remus, which makes sense because they’re dating. This resulted in Virgil being left alone a lot because he didn’t feel comfortable joining large conversations with a lot of people he didn’t know.

Maybe Virgil should just go home. Patton’s probably too busy to notice him leaving, so he can send an apology text later.

“Hey, Count Woe-laf. What’s got you sitting out here alone?”

Virgil jumps slightly at the unexpected voice and turns around to see a person standing in the doorway. The person is wearing a white, long sleeved, knee length dress that has a gold flower design on it. The person has reddish-brown hair that’s tied up in a ponytail. They are also wearing a flower crown with red flowers, fake-pointed ears, sparkly red eyeshadow, and sparkly fairy wings.

“Uh- I just wanted some space from all the festivities…” Virgil mumbles in response while looking away from the newcomer. Suddenly, he hears footsteps approaching him and the sound of someone sitting down next to him.

“I could use a break too. Being social so much can get tiring. I’m Roman, they/he. What’s your name?” The person, Roman says and they stick out their hand to Virgil to shake in greeting.

“I’m Virgil, he/him.” Virgil shakes Roman’s hand back. The person smiles brightly.

“So, how’d you get invited to this party if you don’t mind me asking. Considering you’re sitting out here, you don’t seem like someone who attends parties often.” As Roman says this, his head tilts slightly to the side and Virgil can’t help but find this action cute.

“I’m friends with the party host. How’d you get invited, Sparkles?” Virgil decided to throw in a nickname. Roman gave Virgil one, so he might as well give the person one in return.

“Sparkles? I like that. I was invited to this party by my twin brother, who happens to be dating the party host.”

“You’re related to Remus?!” Virgil asks a bit louder than he meant to. If Roman is related to Remus, then how come he’s never seen them before. Also, Remus’s aesthetic is completely different compared to this sparkly, fairy person sitting in front of him. How can they be twins?

Roman laughs before replying, “I’m guessing you know Remus too since you said you’re friends with Patton. I know I probably don’t seem like I’d be Remus’s twin, but we are. I’ve grown up with him for my entire life.”

“I can see the resemblance now that you’ve told me you’re related actually.” Virgil says, looking at Roman’s features again. Roman and Remus both have reddish-brown hair, green eyes, and freckles scattered across their faces. Remus just happens to have a mustache, a gray-streak in his hair, slightly shorter hair, and lots of piercings.

“So, what year and major are you?” Roman asks, tilting his head cutely again.

“I’m a second year, and an English major. What about you?”

“I’m also a second year. But I’m an art major. I want to make my own animated series one day.”

“That’s cool, Sparkles. What do you want your series to be about?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet. I just know I want it to probably be fantasy themed and have a nonbinary main character in it. I want to create a show that I would have liked to see growing up, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. I want to write a novel with an asexual character in it for that same reason.” Virgil says.

“I’ll have to read your book someday then, J.D-lightful. It already sounds like it will have a cool character in it.”

“T-Thanks.” Virgil says, blushing slightly under his vampire makeup, feeling a bit flustered because he’s not used to receiving compliments from people he finds attractive.

Roman giggles, “Are you blushing under all that makeup, Virgil?”

“N-no! I’m not!” Virgil covers his face with his hands, feeling embarrassed by his strong reaction. Suddenly, he feels his wrists gently being pulled so his hands don’t cover his face anymore.

“It’s okay if you are blushing, Hot Topic. I don’t mind.” Roman says softly to him, his eyes shining slightly in the moonlight.

Virgil stares back at Roman, feeling more flustered. Did Roman just imply that they find him hot?!

Suddenly, Roman grabs Virgil by the hand and gently pulls them both up to stand. Then they let go of Virgil’s hand and reach into a pocket in their skirt. Roman pulls out his phone and proceeds to tap around on it until the song, “Calling All the Monsters” by China Anne McClain starts playing.

“Dance with me.” Roman says and he places his phone back in his pocket and offers a hand to Virgil.

“Uh- I’m not the best dancer…” Virgil says nervously. The only dancing he ever did was Just Dance with Patton.

“That’s okay. You can just dance however you want to. Feel the music and just have fun! It will also just be us out here, if that makes you feel a bit more comfortable.”

Virgil takes a calming breath before taking Roman’s hand and letting the fairy lead him in a dance. They sway and spin each other around, almost tripping a few times, but laugh about it together. Virgil never thought he’d ever feel this at ease at a party before now. Roman truly is magical.

When the song comes to an end, Virgil finds himself being dipped by Roman despite the fairy being shorter than him. The two stare into each other’s eyes and it feels like the entire world is just them. Once Virgil is standing again he finds himself leaning his face closer to Roman’s face. Roman leans closer too, and the next thing Virgil knows, the two of them are sharing a kiss. Roman’s lips are soft and taste like vanilla. Virgil wonders if they put on vanilla chapstick before the party. When the two pull away from the kiss, they stare at each other softly.

“You’re a good kisser. And you were a pretty good dancer.” Roman says with a grin on his face, blushing slightly.

“Same goes for you, Sparkles.” Virgil says, happy and surprised that this is going so well. He usually is awful at romantic interactions. He should probably ask Roman on a date now. Yeah, that’s the right next step. Before he can get to asking that though Roman speaks up.

“So you wanna go on a date sometime, Hot Topic?”

“Yes! I mean, yeah, sure.” Virgil coughs to clear his throat afterwards, feeling embarrassed over how excited and loud his first response was.”

Roman giggles and once Virgil is calm again the fairy glances at Virgil’s lips again, asking for permission. Virgil smiles and leans down to kiss Roman again. He can get used to this.

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End Notes: Thanks for reading! If you liked this fanfic, please consider leaving a like, reblog, and/or a comment. I wrote this randomly and didn’t spend a lot of time proofreading, but I hope it’s still a fun read.

-Monkey💜

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AO3 Link to this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59735275

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

snakes and octopi give the best snuggles

Word count: 2,727 (wow, satisfying!)

Warnings: nightmares, brief descriptions of violence and gore, brief descriptions of kidnapping, spoilers for the movie Martyrs (2008), cursing, could be interpreted as u!Patton but he's more just young and foolish

Relationships: dark side family, focus on platonic anxceit and platonic dukexiety, no romantic ships

Characters: Virgil, Janus, Remus, Orange Side, Roman (mentioned), Patton (mentioned), c!Thomas (mentioned), Logan (mentioned)

The first Sanders Sides fanfiction I've finished writing in nearly 4 years!!! Woohoo!

Note: part of this is inspired by the beginning of Alice In Wonderland (2010)

“I really don't see why that's such a big deal.”

A snake crossed his arms from where he leaned against the counter. A hot-blooded short fuse paced across the living room carpet.

“You should be able to! He thinks he's so high and mighty, trying to take as much creative control as he can for himself! It's absurd!”

“On the other hand, giving too much control to You-Know-Who could be disastrous.”

“Good! Maybe those three need a wake up call, Janus! They get to sit on their fucking diamond-encrusted thrones all day while we rot in this putrid basement!”

Janus stood up straight, letting his muscles tighten slightly, “my job is Self Preservation, and the best way to keep our Centre’s mental health at its prime right now is to let them walk all over us.”

The other side narrowed his eyes, “and what's that going to do in the long run, huh? Make their high horses’ legs even longer?” he stomped over to the deceitful side, poking his chest, ”shove their heads even higher up their own asses?!”

“What it'll do in the long run,” Janus clenched his fist, “is for us to begin influencing Thomas when he's at a less busy stage in his life. Intrusive thoughts and dark creativity aren't good for adulting, Wrath. Be reasonable.”

“I'll show you how to be reasonable-”

“Guys?”

Orange and Yellow both shrieked at the small voice, whipping around to see Gray looking at them through the bannister, blanket pulled around his shoulders and his hair a mess.

“God, we need some sort of alarm for when you pop up…”

Janus glared at Wrath and turned to look at the youngest side, his expression softening.

“Another nightmare?”

Anxiety nodded.

“Come on then,” Janus took the boy's hand and led him back up the stairs, but only after calling a quick “you're burning up!” over his shoulder, and Wrath immediately ran to get himself some ice water.

Janus sat at the boy’s bedside, silently watching as he pulled the covers up to just under his eyes and laid back to rest his head on the pillow.

“Come on then,” he reached onto the floor and grabbed Anxiety’s favourite bat plushie, passing it to him, “tell me what happened.”

The small side hugged the toy as tight as his little arms would let him as he began to recall the events of his night terror.

“I-I was on a stage, in front of millions of people… we were performing some sort of comedy.”

“We?” Janus chimed in, “who else was there?”

Anxiety paused for a second and grimaced as he focussed on the memory, “well there's Thomas, a-and… the light sides.”

Deceit made a rumbling sound of acknowledgement in the back of his throat, hand gripping the bed sheets.

“And… they hate me,” he pressed the bat plushie to his face, “s-so much. They say I'm bad, a pest mist.”

“Pessimist,” Janus gently corrected, though his thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

“Yeah, that… and…” Anxiety’s trembles grew, “and…”

Janus shushed him softly, “hey, hey,” he opened up his arms, an invitation, “it's alright, spiderling. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

The child shook his head and crawled into the hug, breathing out as strong yet gentle arms enveloped him.

“No, no, I-... I wanna.”

The elder side nodded.

“I, um, so I tried to fix the problem by quitting the show, throwing in the towel, all of that…”

“Yeah?”

“But t-that made them even more mad. They chased after me, broke into my room,” Anxiety tightened his grip on Janus’ shirt as more tears welled up in his eyes, “they took me away from you, and w-wouldn’t let me see you ever again!”

Janus swallowed.

“Impossible,” he whispered, “they would never be able to keep us away from you, my dear. We'd tear down every wall in the Mind Palace to get you back.”

The child went still, his breath catching in his throat.

“Virgil?”

Silence.

“I know you’re awake, sootywing.”

“You’re gonna be mad…”

“You don't have to hide anything from me, honey. It's just a dream.”

“W-well…” he swallowed, “in the dream y-you did try to get me back at first. But then…” fresh tears messed up his eyeshadow even more, “then you said that things were better here without me, that- that-”

Janus stopped resisting his urges, allowing his other 2 pairs of arms to wrap around the small side.

“Never,” he hissed fiercely, rubbing Virgil's back and holding his face in his hand, “you could never make things worse, my little raccoon.”

“They said the opposite,” the other whispered, voice still shaking but less so now that he was in one of Janus’ super-special-super-rare hugs, “that I just make Thomas's days worse, that I'm a burden on him that needs to be controlled, that-”

“-is absolutely not true,” Janus finished for him.

“Is it though?”

Janus frowned.

“I-in the dream,” Virgil continued, “after you guys left me with them for a while, I s-started to get used to being with them a-and eventually,” he hiccuped, voice thick with guilt, “I was happy with them.”

“Sweetheart…”

“I'm sorry!” Anxiety sobbed into his chest, “I don't know why it happened, I-”

Janus laid Virgil back into his bed, tucking him in with his bat plushie and gently wiping away his tears.

“That was just Stockholm Syndrome, honey.”

Virgil tilted his head to the side in confusion, and Janus melted a little at the pure objective cuteness of the small action. This kid wasn't just his spiderling, his black kitten, his baby bat, his raven, the Dark Mindscape’s little hidden butterfly, their raccoon… he was now his little black lab puppy too.

“It's when a hostage sympathises with their captor,” Janus explained, “It happens often. And remember, this was all a dream, it doesn't mean you would actually feel that way if it happened.”

The kid nodded and took a few deep breaths, blinking slowly before looking back up at the older side.

“D-do you think I'm bad?”

“Oh, darling,” Janus leaned down to press a kiss to his kid’s forehead, “we're all bad here.”

Virgil leaned up to trace his little fingers along Janus’ scales, and Janus gently took his hand in his own and kissed it too. Virgil smiled a little at that, and the sight was enough to fill Janus’ heart with joy for weeks.

“Well,” he mumbled under his breath as he pulled away, “that's what Morality thinks.”

“What was he like? Before the split?” Virgil heard him anyway. Janus forgot the kid had near-superhuman hearing.

Janus leaned back and thought for a moment, “at one point, we were very close. Back before he decided that lying is never good,” he frowned slightly, “we used to… bake cookies together, things like that.”

“Could we do that?” Virgil piped up, “bake cookies? It sounds fun.”

The yellow one smiled, “of course, hun. Just make sure Duke doesn't try to put glass shards in the batter.”

“Or Wrath with the hottest hot sauce?”

“Yes, that too.”

Janus looked around the room absentmindedly, eyes eventually locking onto the terrarium containing his baby’s baby tarantula.

“You know, if those light sides are ever mean to you, you could start feeding Charlotte fatter worms.”

“Why?”

“Because. She'll get bigger, and bigger, until one day she looks like Shelob…”

The snake side leaned down so that his face was inches from Virgil's, and smirked.

“...and you can set her after them to gobble them up!” Janus scuttled the fingers of all six of his hands along the boy’s sides, mimicking the movement of a spider’s legs, making the child shriek with laughter.

“Hahahahaha! Stop! S-stop! Janus!” He gasped out between giggles.

Janus eventually let him go (though only after having thoroughly enjoyed the angelic sound of his kid’s unbridled laughter) and sat back up, looking down at the little jumping spider with a smile he would never let anyone else see.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, “thanks, J.”

“It's my pleasure,” he murmured, reaching out to cup Virgil's face for a moment, green and purple eyes meeting yellow and brown ones, before standing up and walking towards the door.

Right as he opened it, Virgil called out to him again.

“Janus?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

He melted even further at that.

“And I you,” Janus breathed out, voice and face full of fondness, “more than you'll ever know.”

Virgil's eyes shone along with his smile, and Janus took in the sight for a moment before switching off the light.

“Try and get some more sleep, hopefully with dreams full of fluffy spiders.”

“Night, Jan.”

He shut the door gently.

As his door shut, Virgil's room was cut off from the light in the hallway and plunged into pitch darkness. While he didn't mind this at all, he wasn't the slightest bit tired anymore, and it was hard to read books in the dark.

He reached behind his pillow and grabbed his trusty flashlight, fiddling around in the darkness until he found the ‘on’ button.

When he finally turned it on, the first thing he saw was a mad face inches from his own.

“Hey Virgie.”

Said side immediately screeched and whacked the intruder on the head with the torch, already hyperventilating.

“Remus, oh my God!” he shrieked, “I thought you left here when I fell asleep last night!”

Having already recovered from the blow, the Duke sat up and shook his head, specks of blood splattering on the bed sheets and walls.

“Nope! I've been here all night pretty much!”

“What? Where?!”

“Well,” he suddenly turned shy, ”you know how you've been having problems with that monster under your bed?”

“Of course,” Virgil groaned.

“I know, I know, but listen to this! There's a portal under your bed that leads to my room!”

“You can come in here when my door is locked?! When I don't want you to?!”

“Well, not anymore. Now that you know it's there you can lock it whenever.”

“Oh,” Anxiety breathed out and nodded, “that's okay I guess.”

“So!” Remus started, “while you were asleep I portaled to my room to get some stuff and…”

The Duke reached behind his back and pulled out a DVD case, shoving it right in Virgil's face.

Virgil read the title on the front of the case and gasped, “Martyrs? Remus-”

“I know! I was able to get a copy dubbed in English too! The movie just came out so I think it's a great find!”

“But-”

“And, like, Virgie, I know you can speak French for some reason and all but frankly the language sucks and I want to focus on the gore instead of the subtitles.”

“Remus, it's an 18+ movie!”

“Yeah!” He grinned manically, “you're 8, I'm a teen, and there's a plus because it's premium, just for us! Come on, let's watch it! I know you're wide awake after that nightmare.”

“Oh!” Virgil bellowed, “so you were here when that happened and you did nothing! Great! Thanks! You're such a good big brother!”

“I didn't wanna make it worse!”

“And why would that happen?”

“You were sleep-talking.”

“...Oh.”

“Mhm.”

There was a moment of tense silence.

“Any-fuckin’-way,” Remus hopped up from the bed and turned on the TV on Virgil's dresser, “Martyrs time!”

They were both sitting on the floor, Remus hugging Virgil from behind with his chin resting on his head.

“Jan and Wrath were talking about you when I went down.”

*Really?” Remus mumbled as he continued to stare at the screen, watching in awe and admiration as Lucie shot each member of the family who tortured her.

“Mhm,” Virgil nodded, “something about creative control.”

Remus froze as he processed the words, scrambling to pause the movie before staring down at his friend, “what did they say?”

“Uhh,” Virgil’s mind blanked for a second as he continued to look at the screen, which had been paused on a frame of the dead daughter, “someone trying to take it away from you?”

Remus stayed silent.

“And then they called you Dark Creativity?”

“I-” he stuttered.

“And then they said there were 3 light sides instead of 2-”

Remus pushed the words out as quickly as possible before Virgil could interrupt him again, “I’monlyhalfofCreativityandtheotherhalfismybrother.”

Virgil stared at him blankly as his brain slowly dissected the jumble of words just thrown at him.

“You're… not all of Creativity?”

Remus shook his head, not wanting to speak for one of the only times in his life.

“...How?”

“Well… the reason we're all split into light and dark is because the original Creativity split first. When Thomas was around your age he got too Christian and decided all the fun stuff was bad so it was forced out and voila! It made yours truly. And then Morality decided to split all of us off.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno, for funsies I guess.”

“Huh… So is your brother the one trying to take more creative control?”

“Eugh, probably.”

“Don't like him then, I'm guessing?”

“He's the worst!” Remus hollered, “all glitter and ponies and magic godmothers! The only ones who die on his side of the Imagination are villains!”

Virgil gasped, “is that why I'm not allowed in the Imagination alone?!”

“Yeah, but don't go snooping around now that you know that! And don't let Wrath or Janus know that you know about my twin!”

“Why?”

“They wanted to wait til you were older so you would understand. The split is behind us, Virgie. It's the past. And you came after it. You being a dark side from the moment you formed was the start of our perfect family. You don't need to dwell on something you didn't exist to see.”

“Okay,” Virgil nodded and then giggled, “way to bash the entire subject of History there.”

“If you learn from it you can't repeat the best bits!”

Virgil laughed and relaxed into his friend's hold as he unpaused the film.

Both of them stared at the screen as the credits rolled.

“Keep doubting…” Remus echoed.

Virgil hummed in thought, “what afterlife would make someone want to go to it, but for others to not know what it is?”

“Maybe if there's none at all?”

“But then why would she want to stop living?”

“Because she knows all the work she's done torturing people til their last breath was for nothing, and that life really has no meaning at all?”

“No afterlife is boring though, Remus. Surely you agree?” Virgil turned to look back up at him, “wouldn't you want it to be some sort of Lovecraftian hell?”

“Oh, I would love that, you know I would. But, y'know,” the Duke sighed, “Occam's razor gotta cut us out of our skin and bleed us out until we're dried skin suits and a pile of bones.”

“Eugh.”

“Yum.”

“Ew!”

They both giggled. Virgil shifted until his back was pressing into Remus’ chest and he closed his eyes with a content sigh. Watching the goriest movie ever made with his insane best friend really tired him out.

Remus crossed his legs to wrap them around Virgil and tightened his hold. A surge of violent protectiveness coursed through his veins as he thought back to the conversation between him and Janus he had eavesdropped on.

“Hey, salticidae?”

“Hm?”

“If those light sides ever do try to Beauty And The Beast ya or some shit, you can call me to come and help you through the portal!”

“...Oh!” Virgil’s eyes lit up, “that's a great idea! As long as you bring some weapons with you.”

“For you,” Remus grinned, “I’d bring only my best.”

When Janus and Wrath recovered from their screaming match and went to check on the youngest, they were met with a sight that was immediately placed into the family photobook.

Virgil was curled up into a ball while hugging his bat plushie close to his chest, letting out tiny high pitched snores. Remus was wrapped around him with all 4 limbs plus his tentacles, letting out much bigger, grosser snores.

Ironically, being cuddled by the embodiment of intrusive thoughts was a great way to get rid of nightmares.

And, for nearly a decade, everything was perfect for the little dark family.

Until, like the twisted shadow of a Disney Princess, Virgil's dream came true.

[tastic-in-its-finest]

Heyyyyy 💜💜

First of all I love your writing so muchhhh second I have a headcanon that Virgil would be emetophobic (fear of vomit) because of his time with Remus who kept teasing him about it (like making gagging sounds). Can you write Virgil getting sick when they're already older with the light sides and absolutely panics, and patton/Logan taking care of him??

Don't think about it

Thank you so much, I'm glad you love my writing <3 as for your prompt, I hope you also love this. I hope you don't mind that I continued off of the previous work (but this could probably be read as a standalone)

Summary: For years, Virgil’s had a fear of vomit. A fear that he would rather deal with by himself. However, luck is not on his side and shortly, everyone knows just how bad he fears it.

Word count: 6148

Warnings/Tags: LOT of mentioning of throwing up and actual throw up, descriptions of gross things, slight mention of bugs, snakes, blood, and guts. Also a panic attack

Ao3 | other work

...

The morning is quiet. An uncomfortably weird quiet that he has yet to get used to. But it's much better than Remus shrieking or destroying the house like he does every morning. So he really was just reveling in the perks of being accepted.

Who knew that when you’re less stressed you can actually enjoy the small things in life? Like his bed was abnormally comfy that he almost didn’t want to leave.

But he has family breakfast in the morning.

Virgil goes downstairs and stops at the last step to see a familiar scene in front of him. Roman often sat in his regular seat, shouting at a reasonable volume about his latest adventure or whatever recent escapade he had gotten Thomas into. Then there was Patton, diligently listening as he aided Logan with whatever’s on the menu this morning. Logan however, was always 100% focused on cooking, or if Virgil slept late enough, reading while sipping a coffee, cause unlike the other two, he didn’t talk while he ate.

Overall, pretty normal.

“Ah Virgil! Good morning. I need your opinion on something,” Roman turned around on his chair.

“Uh sure— What is it?” He was still getting used to people calling him by his actual name. It had only been a few weeks after all.

“Wellllll, Thomas was just talking to this cute fellow down the street, and I was just thinking that we should ask him out sometime. What do you say?”

Virgil blinks, “… Do you know who you’re talking to right now?”

“Is that a yes?”

“No! What if Thomas ends up breaking up with the guy, then it's just going to be awkward when he takes out his trash. OR not even that, what if he rejects Thomas and tells all his other neighbors that he’s a creep and they will never talk to him again!”

“Sheesh, alright alright! But…” Roman dramatically turns to the kitchen, “Specs! Do you believe that Thomas is at a good place in his life where he could start dating?”

Logan turns around confused, “Why are you asking me? I am not an expert on romance.”

“But if Thomas were to start dating, would now be a good time for him?”

“Well… I wouldn’t say anytime is a ‘good’ time. However, considering Thomas’ recent consistency to the schedule and his ability to complete tasks on time. Then yes, now would be a good time. It’s just a matter if he says consistent.” Logan muttered the last part.

“There! See Virgil? Thomas is ready.”

“It would still be awkward though…”

“Oh hush!”

Virgil huffs a laugh but quickly turns to get a morning juice from the fridge.

However, he stops before the fridge door hits him square in the face as Patton rustles in there, trying to find something.

“Oh, sorry kiddo. I’m trying to find some pickles but it's very jarring,” Virgil smirks, “Nah, you’re fine Pat. Didn’t you put it in the back corner?”

“Oh, maybe! But you know… while I’m digging through here, is there something you would like?”

“Just a caprisun.”

“Well, you’ve come to the ripe place.” Another witty eye rollable pun he must pretend not to like.

“Ha! I guessed it this time.” Roman hollers, “One extra sandwich please!”

Virgil rolls his eyes and smiles cause Roman has consistently failed to guess what he’ll drink in the morning. Thus, when he finally gets it, the extra sandwich is earned.

“Here you go!” Patton hands him a nice cold caprisun, which he wastes no time to open, “Thanks.”

With this Roman resumes his previous conversation with Patton, effectively taking the spotlight off of him which he’s joyous about. He also takes the opportunity to sit on an empty kitchen counter, sipping away.

When he gets a closer look into the kitchen, instead of Logan hovering over the stove and making sure it doesn’t burn down without him, Patton is. And he doesn’t leave the stove, not once except for his trips to the fridge.

It seems like Patton’s the one cooking this morning. Now, Patton wasn’t the best cook, he knew the basics, but he certainly wasn’t a cooking machine like Logan. While he was definitely learning with Logan teaching him every morning, he still neglected a few basic things like leaving the stove on after cooking. Virgil wasn’t one to judge though. The best he can do is manage the microwave and toaster which he’s mastered over the years. However, Patton was a fantastic baker, so maybe Virgil was a little hopeful to see cupcakes or cookies for breakfast like Logan would allow that.

He knew they were having sandwiches, leaning more into brunch than traditional breakfast. There was a lineup of tuna cans, a pickle jar, eggs, and slices of bread. Huh, tuna sandwiches.

They were trying to mix them in a bowl but the pickle jar was less cooperative. Virgil figured he should help out a bit, “You need help?”

“Oh, sure!” Patton handed it to him.

The lid was stuck tight but after a bit of tugging he managed to get it open.

Then a foul sour odor that he felt as if he could taste travels deep into his nose. He wanted to gag, he really did. How rotten were these? It made him feel like he was going to—-

Throw up?

He coughs as he puts a hand over nose and sets the nasty pickles aside. Patton takes notice, “Oh, do you not like pickles?”

“No, these just smell awful.”

Patton takes a sniff and cringes just like he did, “Agh, why does it smell that bad?”

“Possibly the fermentation?” Logan comments as he continues stirring, just like Virgil's stomach…

Patton and Logan continue discussing it, but he couldn’t exactly focus on the conversation because of the smell. Even though the pickles were far away, the smell continued to sting his nose and brew, like it was bubbling in his mouth as well.

When he stands up from the counter to sit away, he feels a wave of heat and dizziness upon landing his feet on the ground.

Oh no, he leans onto the counter for a little support, was he really going to do this?

A few steps in trying to get to the dining table, his stomach begins to drop. Great, the nausea is coming in. Don’t focus on anything else, just make it to a trash can (preferably away from anybody else).

The bathroom.

“They shouldn’t smell like that…” someone muttered.

“I think they went bad…” another mumbled.

”Hey Virge, where are you going?” He happened to make it halfway up the stairs until Roman had to say something.

“Uh, the bathroom.”

“Ah, alright?” Roman sounded suspicious. Why? He didn’t know and he frankly didn’t care.

After reaching the top of the stairs, with no one watching him, he runs to the bathroom and collapses over the toilet, right square, staring at the barrel of the bowl.

Just in case someone went upstairs, he waves his fingers which promptly closes the door and locks it next to him.

Alright, so, if he throws up, he won’t make a mess. That thought was both terrifying and slightly comforting.

~~~~

”Blegh! Blegh!!” Remus was gagging over the table, nothing was actually coming out of his mouth but Virgil couldn’t help but imagine it. Ever since Remus found out about Virgil throwing up for the first time, the boy wouldn’t stop asking questions about it and making those gross noises… he was starting to know why Dee told him to never tell Remus everything, but it was so hard not to. Especially when he had to explain why he wasn’t in his room this morning.

“Remus, knock it off,” Dee walked by, patting Remus’ head, who blew a raspberry in return. His gloved hands sets down a bowl of a brownish gray, gooey and clumpy looking thing… of food.

“Mmmmm, vomittt,” Remus grabs a spoon from the bowl and lets the vomit drop back down. A ping stabs his stomach, with that aching rumbling that he felt last night when he…

No, no, no, no, no, no, he didn’t want to throw up again. He really didn’t want to do that again. It felt so violating, like he couldn’t control himself. He couldn’t stop it.

“I don’t want to eat that,” he slid down on his seat so he didn’t have to see it anymore.

“It’s not actually vomit, Anxiety, it’s just oatmeal,” Dee tries to scoop some as it plops dead center onto his plate.

“But Remus said—“

Deceit sighs, “I know what he said but believe me, it's not that bad.”

“Yeah, it's not actually vomit,” Remus scoops a bit onto his plate, “It does look like it though,” he mumbled. Remus starts scarfing it down, and a bit of it drizzles from his lips, “Who knows, maybe one day you'll throw up and it'll never stop.” His stomach turns at the thought.

“And what would you throw up? Bugs, snakes, blood, or guts?” He covers his ears but he can still hear Remus’ loud volume through muffles. Dee says something but he feels too sick to hear it.

“I could imagine there would be a point where it wouldn’t be food anymore. Just pure spit, blood, and organs if you couldn’t stop it.” He didn’t want to imagine this, it didn’t make him feel good.

And then he’s hit with it. A wave of nausea… His empty stomach won't twist anymore and his mouth feels dry and icky, awaiting what's coming. He has no choice but to vomit again.

Virgil stumbles out of his chair and tries reaching a toilet, but he doesn’t get far before it happens right on the carpet.

~~~~

To keep his mind off of it, he summons Thomas’ IPod with his old music that he listened to during his emo phase throughout his teen years which wasn't all that bad. Maybe even criticizing the music will take his mind off his stomach and he won’t throw up all together.

But no, the music along with the current situation made him think of less important things instead.

~~~~

Virgil is slightly laying down on the couch, right at the end, so if anybody sits down he’s not sandwiched between them. Even so, he was reading a philosophy book so he's ‘cultured’ as Dee puts it. Like he needs to read this to understand why moral obligation is bad. Just say you don’t like Morality, Deceit.

Either way, he wasn't going to put himself through this without listening to his trusty Ipod that Thomas got recently. Not only that but Thomas had been dabbling in some emo culture too that he’d taken an interest in. And Virgil loved it. So he had also been wearing some of the makeup that Thomas experimented with. And it may look bad or hideous but if anybody had anything to say about it then they can—-

“Ooooo, cool makeup. Are you trying to die?” He peers from the book to see Remus upside down, sprawled over the rest of the couch with his legs hanging off the end, crazy unsettling eyes and smile as per usual.

“No, why did you say that?” He’s very close to kicking his head.

“Hehe, when people die, they put makeup on them to make them look less dead for open caskets. Is that what you’re doing?”

“No.”

”Why not?”

“Cause I’m not dying.”

“Not yet.”

Virgil sighs and tries to find his previous spot, but Remus reaches over with his finger and drags down the book.

“Do you know what we are having for dinner?”

Virgil shrugs.

Remus laughs, “Oatmeal.”

“Remus.”

“The grey one.”

“Come on,” Virgil huffs. The book won’t rise because of the finger.

“It was a little funny wasn’t it?”

“No.”

“The way you fell out of the chair was really—“

”—You really won’t let it go, will you?” The glare he gives does nothing. He doesn’t know why he expected it to. Remus does a small cackle, “Nope!”

Virgil sits up a bit on the couch, “I was like five or something.”

“Me too! And you really did throw up a lot. It was a little impressive.”

“Seriously, shut up.”

“No, I’m being serious too. You could throw up a lot more now,” Remus tries to poke his stomach but Virgil blocks him with the book.

“I wanna see,” his smile widened. However, Virgil was reserved to not ever under any circumstance, think or even try to throw up. Especially not for Remus’ amusement. Which made him sick in itself.

He didn’t want to think about… the bile, the smell, or the raspy throat afterwards.

“Uhhhhhh Virgie?”

Blink, blink, “Hm?”

“Were you considering it?”

“No,” he never wanted to. But he knew this wasn’t going to be the last time Remus brought up the subject.

~~~~

At this point, he should just do it.

It's going to happen. Anytime now.

He didn't know if he wanted it to be done quickly just to get it over with. Or if he wanted to prolong this because Virgil knows that with his luck it's going to happen when he least expects it. Not like this is the first time.

~~~~

He immediately regretted opening his door. A foul, and inconceivable smell floods his nose. And he would have sulked back into his room, but someone tugs at his sleeve.

“Virgie-poo, just who I need!” It’s Remus, dragging him by linking their arms together and skipping. Well, more like dragging Virgil who was resisting at every chance he got.

“What do you need me for? Why don’t you ask Deceit?”

“Cause, he’ll probably say no. But either way, I made this game especially for you and me!” Oh boy, this is going to be a disaster.

Remus stops at the foot of the kitchen which is where the smell has intensified. But alas, he lets go of Virge. By this point, he’ll just be dragged again if he turns around so he tries entertaining whatever Remus’ idea is just to make this a little bit enjoyable for himself. Cause he was either, 1. going to be subjected to something he doesn’t want to see/hear/touch/smell or 2. he was going to be the butt of the joke of whatever idea this was.

But for now, the only questionable part of the kitchen was a mysterious pot where the smell must be immiting from. Imagine spoiled milk, meat, and mold together while coming from a wet dog after a mud bath, is what it smelled like.

Upon closer inspection, he is dealing with option 1. and possibly option 2. He gazes inside at this concoction, which is as colorful and chunky as he expects. It’s even boiling too. It looks like vomit…

Virgil backs away and covers his mouth along with his nose to keep from smelling it anymore.

“Alright! Now, put on some gloves, don’t let it touch you. We need as much as we can so they can drink it,” Remus snaps latex gloves on both hands.

“I’m not drinking that.”

Remus blinks for a bit, “Well, I was going to hand it out to Roman’s villagers, but if you want to drink it you go ahead,” Remus seemed hopeful.

Virgil tilts his head, a little confused, “But… then why are you involving me in this?”

Remus begins to chuckle before settling down, looking amused, “Prince poops a lot has been a real meanie to you lately, so I thought doing this and seeing his face while his villagers implode would be fun!”

“Now!” Remus claps and turns around back to the pot, “Let’s get it ready so it doesn’t look suspicious,” Remus rubs his hands together, but Virgil cannot lift a hand without being attacked by the smell, not to mention the bubbling and colorfulness of the contents.

“I can’t,” Remus turns around and seems to grasp his problem. He could imagine how sick he looked, “Oh! It doesn’t smell that bad—” Remus couldn’t finish his sentence before Virgil ran away.

Now unlike the many other times something like this has happened, he managed to reach an actual toilet. It took him by surprise, one moment he feels like gagging, then he realizes something is actually coming up with it. He didn’t throw up much though, just bile. But it was particularly acidic in his throat.

“You look great.” Remus appears and leans on the doorway.

“Was this your actual plan?”

“Uh no? But this is a welcome surprise,” Remus is just as close to the toilet as he is, he peeks a look at the liquids. And he summons a spoon…

“Don’t. Seriously.” Virgil slams the toilet lid and flushes much to the disappointment of the duke.

“Are you ready now?” Remus asks. There was no way out of this was there?

He sighs. He was going to need a nose plug and some shades.

~~~~

Either way, he's much safer here next to the toilet than anywhere else. One flush and he doesn’t have to smell it or deal with it like he would with a trash can.

No, that was much worse.

~~~~

It was just like when he was a child. When he woke up, the room was dark and non-navigational. His room was often messy too cause he hadn’t really been listening to Deceit scolding him over his disorganization. But at the time, it made sense cause even so he knew where everything was. At a time like this however, he wished he listened.

He trips over a pile of laundry as he ducks for his desk. He doesn’t let it bother him and throws his chair to the side as a result, feeling under the desk hastily with one hand and covering his mouth with the other. And the vomit wouldn’t stop, it was beginning to drip down his fingers cause it was slowly slipping out of his mouth. When he finally finds the trash can, he lets it all out, not like it was much, but enough.

The smell itself is enough to make him feel nauseous all over again, along with all the food he had thrown away in this trash can.

Great this is perfect, he wipes his eyes as he starts crying. Maybe it was the acidity of the vomit smell or it just sort of happened. But really, he felt gross. He is covered in vomit (on his one hand but still), and smelling it like it's a hobby. But god forbid he tries to clean up and gets the urge again. Then he has a mess on the carpet, which he doesn’t even know if he could clean up without constantly thinking about it.

But he wasn’t going to ask Deceit. He wasn’t going to be treated like an obligation. Or have Remus find out. He doesn’t need the extra energy.

And that by itself made him feel even worse. Because vomit or not, he was alone.

He was all alone.

~~~~

There's a small knock on the door which he can immediately tell is Patton.

“Hey Virge, are you ok in there?”

“Yeah.” He sounded way too pathetic.

“Oh, alright. Well, breakfast is ready, it’s egg-stra special!” That makes him smile a bit. Although, he forgot how oblivious Patton could be.

“Okay.” He mumbles as he hears the footsteps walk away.

He’s just going to sit here for a little longer. Just in case.

He stands from the toilet and his back stabs him as punishment. Bending over on the hard floor laying on his knees for a good ten minutes clearly wasn’t isn’t good for him.

However, the dizziness isn’t as intense as it once was as the smell and horrible thoughts eventually subsided. Nevermore, he leans on the sink and examines his face as it feels flushed and gross even without throwing up. And he wasn’t wrong.

His eyeshadow was smudged pretty badly from rubbing his eyes and even… was he crying? He looked like he did, the makeup lines down his cheeks were proof of it.

He remembered sniffing a bit and his face feeling wet, but he didn’t realize he was crying.

Virgil rolls up his sleeves and sighs, this isn’t healthy, not at all. What adult cries over throwing up?

But how is he supposed to stop this though? Just forget every single horrible experience he had throwing up? All that teasing and humiliation?

He turns on the facet and throws cold water on his face, which removes some heat from his face and provides a wave of relief.

Remus was just being Remus. But he was being a big baby about this. He should just get over it. Virgils not a kid anymore so he shouldn’t act like one. When was the last time Thomas threw up as an adult?

He summons a pallet and begins getting to work with a hasty makeup job.

This was just pathetic. He’s grown up. He’s seen and smelled a lot of things throughout the years (that may or may not have made him sick) so he shouldn’t be bothered by something as small as spoiled pickles.

When he looks back at himself again, he’s slightly happier. Not perfect, but not a mess anymore. And he isn’t going to cause a mess either, right?

Whatever, he’s probably been gone long enough, he shouldn’t keep them waiting anymore.

It seems as if Virgil didn’t miss much.

While Roman and Logan are already settled at the table, Patton is still messing around in the kitchen finishing up his sandwiches. While all of them are conversing, he tries not to engage to not draw any unwanted attention to himself because explaining why he was gone is more embarrassing than what actually happened. His plan doesn’t work however, because just going downstairs is enough.

“Greetings Virgil. How are you feeling?”

”Uh fine,” that was not convincing at all. You would think he would be a good liar by now since he was raised by one.

“How are you?” He responds back, and maybe Logan didn’t notice much because all he says is, “I’m satisfactory. However, I fail to see why creating another web series would be a good idea for Thomas. So I’d like your opinion to show why I’m right and Roman’s wrong.”

“Really!?” Roman interrupts mid bite, “The only opinion you need is mine because Thomas needs to let his creativity out there! He can’t just be sitting here all day doing nothing.”

“Thomas doesn’t sit around and do nothing all day. He already has plenty of creative projects and I can’t conceive why it would be a good idea to add another when he already has enough on his ‘figurative’ plate,” Logan concludes by taking a bite.

“I agree with Logan,” Virgil comments, and effectively leaves to the kitchen since Roman would ask why and he does. However, Virgil ignores him because Logan has already taken over in his place and Virgil’s already wasting his time.

The ticking time clock of his stomach isn’t going to wait.

Please just let him get a sandwich, eat, then retreat to his room so he can be prepared again if he feels the need to throw up.

Rounding the kitchen, the first thing he sees is the dreaded pickle jar, the same one that started this. They didn’t cook with it right?

“Um, are those the same pickles?” He points, and Patton perks up from where he’s about to leave with two tuna sandwiches.

“Oh! No. Roman summoned new ones, they’re much better!”

“Ok, cool,” Patton smiles as he leaves for the table.

Virgil gets a plastic plate, in case he wants to head to his room and finish the food there and so he doesn’t go back down for dishes. One sandwich, because two might make him feel sick and three is out of the question. And a piece of a grape vine, because fruit is good for you.

He sits down and absently listens to the conversation mostly dominated by Logan and Roman arguing about the same topic. This feels much longer than usual, like time slowed down for this moment only. Probably because he’s eating pretty slow and only focusing on that.

As much as he would like to scarf down his food, it would probably upset his stomach more which is counter productive. It's a balanced game of eating fast enough that he’s making progress but slow enough that his stomach isn’t further disturbed.

Even then he feels it building up, or maybe it's all in his head? Either way, it's not good.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Don’t think about it.

Breathe in, breathe out.

It’s all in your head.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Your stomach is twisting because you’re hungry, just calm down.

But Virgil’s stomach starts to turn in an all too familiar way.

He needed to stop this, and quickly. But his dinner was already coming up and it wasn’t going to wait for him to run to the bathroom. Hell no, he slaps a hand over his mouth, he was not going to throw up in front of everyone.

He gags down as it starts coming up, no, it takes everything in his body to swallow it down, as it grates down his throat and his hand is left shaking.

When he looks up, all conversation is gone with all eyes on him, extremely concerned. God, he looks down at his plate, he really wanted to crawl into a hole and die right now.

“Were you… just about to?” Roman motions with his hand acting as vomit and Virgil takes one moment to look up and nod. With so many eyes on him it was especially hard to look at and maintain eye contact, cause this situation was the pinnacle of embarrassment and he didn’t need their faces of disgust, especially Roman’s. “Ohhhh no, nope, I cannot deal with throw up,” he heard Roman get up next to him and walk into the living room, “Sorry Virge, it's nothing personal. If you throw up then I’ll throw up!”

Virgil scowls, “It’s not like I want to.”

“Oh, Virgil. If you’re sick, you can stay in your room and rest. Maybe give you something else to eat?” Nice offer, but Virgil was not going to let Patton coddle him right now.

“No, no, it's fine. It’s not this,” he gestured toward the food, “I just…” did Virgil really know why he was sick? No, he wished. But he knew where it started from…

“It’s just uh.. pickles?” Yep, just gloss over the years of fearing even the mere thought of throwing up. That is surely smart.

But how do you bring something like that up? Especially to people who just learned your name? “They didn’t smell that good and you know, it hasn’t made me feel good so I’ve been worried about…”

“Projectile vomiting?”

“God Logan, you don't have to say it like that!” Roman shrieked across the living room.

“Well, I think the both of you are taking this situation too seriously. Yes, the idea and action of throwing up is particularly unpleasant. However, simply thinking about the idea and action of doing so, will often make a person feel more sick and increase the chance of throwing up rather than doing so because someone isn't feeling well. Especially if there is a fear of vomit.”

“But wouldn't trying not think about it make you think about it more?” Patton questioned.

“Exactly. It's like—“ A hand slaps over Logan's mouth in a forceful way. Apparently, he was going to say something that he shouldn’t. Great, another reminder that Deceit is a control freak.

Logan is taken back but he seems to understand as he removes his hand, “Well, nevermind. It's like… when Roman has a consistent idea for Thomas but if you continue to force the thought out, the more repetitive and persistent a thought becomes like the new web series he wants to introduce.”

“But… this is the first time I mentioned it?” Roman chimes.

Logan sighs, “This was meant to be an allegory about your b-r-o-t-h-e-r, but I digress.” Well, that made sense. They are particularly close to Thomas’ consciousness and he didn’t know about the others yet. Like Virgil would ever want them to see him.

Virgil coughs, “Well, yeah. But it's not like you can just not think about it when you don’t feel well,” he tries to argue.

“Then why don’t we distract ourselves?” Patton said a little bit unsure, looking at Logan for assurance, who instead looks dead into Virgil’s eyes, “If you’re not feeling well then the best course of action would be to engage in practices to reduce any nausea and effectively rest.”

“Mhm,” Virgil’s stomach doesn’t agree.

“And Roman, you should do the same as well if you are beginning to feel any queasiness,” Logan stands up from his seat, gearing towards the kitchen.

Roman gasps, “I am not queasy! Just a little unsettled,” the prince huffs as he plops onto the couch.

Virgil takes a deep sigh, he can’t believe that just happened. He almost vomited in front of everyone. How embarrassing?

He looks at his half eaten sandwich that he doesn’t feel compelled to eat nor the grapes.

Just breathe. Your stomach hurts but so what? You can deal with it.

But maybe he can’t. And as much as he tries to swallow it again, it won’t stop. No matter what he does, when he’s sick, he vomits. And someone always has to see and never let him live it down. Always clean up after him.

Now is not any different than any other time.

But as he turns to his side anticipating to vomit, there is a trash can? He would have remembered if it was there before. There are hands at the side holding it to him and a watch on one of its wrists.

He isn’t given time to think about it anymore before he vomits into the trash bag and spits the remains of it as well.

“Breathe,” it's not his head saying it this time, but Logan. He looks up to see Logan’s the one holding the trash can but he doesn’t look displeased to be doing so.

Virgil huffs a laugh, “Nice save teach,” he can’t talk without feeling the urge again. However, it quickly leaves this time.

“Thank you. How are you feeling?”

He swallows, “It’s going to happen again,” his knee is bouncing.

“It’ll be ok Virgil. I need you to breathe for me.”

He tries and fails, like his breathing is on pause, “I can’t.”

“Yes you can… Please look at me.”

Virgil squints at Logan, he can’t focus on his entire face so he tries staring at his glasses.

“Okay, good. Now breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,” Logan follows his own instructions as a demonstration. This should be easy Virgil, come on.

He breathes in through his nose, and as a result, gets a whiff of the vomit steaming from the trash can.

He coughs into the trashcan again, nothing comes out but he couldn’t help but gag.

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok Virgil, here… um,” Logan looks up to someone else who swishes by to get another trash bag. Virgil feels bad just staring at Logan like his life depends on it because it does. If he doesn’t, he’ll just hurl again. Ignoring the other pair of glasses that are changing the trash can, he thinks it's Patton who completely disregards the foul one. Now he has a fresh can. Perfect for another round.

He groans at the thought, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry Virge, it's just for the smell,” that wasn’t Logan, it was Patton.

“Mhm, we are going to help you breathe right now. Let's restart.” Okay.

Breathe in through his nose, and he takes in the fresh air and breathes out through his mouth which tasted absolutely awful.

“Uh, padre, teach? I got some water to rinse it out.”

“Thank you Roman,” Logan takes it from Roman and hands it to him. Before they explain why he needs it, he looks up to the prince shying behind them. While he expected him to be disgusted, he didn’t expect him to look worried but also not looking too good himself. He gives him a curt nod however which perks up the prince's mood a bit.

Washing out his mouth is as awful as an experience that he expects it to be, but he spits it into the new trash can.

And afterwards, he can properly breathe, without the guidelines he needed before.

And now the embarrassment has tripled to levels he didn’t realize he could experience.

Virgil sets the trash down and leaves it on the ground.

Logan spoke up, “This was more serious than I thought it was. I apologize, Virgil, for not realizing sooner.”

“You— you don’t have to apologize. Besides, you caught it before even I did.”

“Yes, but unfortunately, we could have done more for you.”

“Buuuuut! I have an idea,” Patton smiles, “Why don’t we make you something to help with your stomach?”

Logan hums, “Ok then. Patton, would you please ensure it's one of these options?” Logan hands Patton a newly conjured list, which he skims over and perks up, “Alrighty.”

Logan turns his attention away from Patton, “And Roman?” Virgil turns his head and realizes that despite Roman standing up earlier, he was sitting with him now.

“Um yeah?”

“You have more knowledge on Virgil’s favorite media so would you please pick something he’d enjoy. However, I perfectly understand if you would like to leave because of your reaction to vomit.”

Roman blinks, “Ohhhhhh,” he has a mischievous smile, “Thank you for worrying but no I’m completely fine.” Roman sings as he runs towards the couch.

”Wait, what are you guys doing?” Virgil croaks.

Patton passes them as he heads to the kitchen, “We’re going to help you feel better kiddo.”

“Uhhh how?” he waves his hand.

“By giving you a good ol’ self care day!” Roman proclaims as he flicks through the tv channels.

“Exactly,” with the snap of his finger, Logan has a unicorn onesie on.

“Is this really appropriate?” Virgil asks.

“Onesies are always appropriate.”

“No! I mean…” he takes a moment to breathe, “What if I just don’t get better? Like I can’t stop vomiting. It’s not going to be fun.”

Patton walks up and kneels to him, “Kiddo, we want to help you get better. No matter how sick you are. Family takes care of each other.”

“That was so cheesy… but Patton's right!” Roman snaps and materializes a beast onesie from Beauty and The Beast, along with that, the tv showcases lists of Tim Burton movies.

When Patton gets up he takes off his cat onesie from his shoulders and snaps it on.

They all look at him expectantly.

While he feels slightly pressured to go along, he is also aware that they probably won’t be mad if he says no. So he does the most reasonable thing he can do and snaps his fingers, “Fine…”

He wears his jack skeleton onesie and Roman shrieks with excitement, “Ok, perfect! Now, we just need some blankets and candles and Tim Burton.”

“Candles may increase nausea so it depends on if Virgil would like some.”

“Uh, that's a nice thought and all but I really don’t want to smell this anymore,” he gestures to the trash can as the acid begins to stink.

“Oh right.”

…

The couch cushions are quite comfortable (even though he was forced not to sit on the top of the couch) but at this moment he was glad. He was glad he was being piled with warm blankets and able to borrow Patton’s heating pad which he should definitely use more often. He was glad he had an empty trash can available in case, and Logan who was ready to change it with no issue. And Roman who provided a nice distraction through commenting over the movie, which he would challenge on occasion.

Instead of a tuna sandwich, he was given a banana, toast, and a package of applesauce which didn’t upset his stomach and tasted pretty good.

While he was skeptical at first, Patton gave him some peppermint tea and Logan of course listed the benefits of drinking tea, hydration, and assured him he had nothing to worry about.

And he didn’t. His mind was empty of things to exactly worry about.

So he was glad. Very much.

“Hey Virge,” Patton whispers to him.

“Yeah?”

“I just want you to know that you can tell us anything. We’ll always be here for you, ok?” Patton smiles.

Virgil returns it, “Ok...”

But more than anything, he felt lucky.

Lucky to be surrounded by people that he knew cared about him. They weren’t bothered that he was sick or ever scolded him for his fear. They were here.

He was lucky they were here.

[thelittleautisticgirl]

Rewatching Sanders Sides all the way from the beginning and idk, Patton seems like hes trying too hard to be people pleasing? Like, he constantly tries to make Thomas and the others do the morally right thing even when in some cases it pays to be "selfish"? Like, dont get me wrong, i love Patton to bits, hes amazing and really sweet, but also, just forcing Thomas to miss out of big parts of his life or like his potential breakthroughs and stuff just because it'd be good for two friends or something? Like sure, a wedding is a *big day* and its a big thing and important, but at the same time, should someone really throw away a once in a lifetime opportunity for the moral high ground?

Idk, all through the series, it feels like Patton is trying to infantalise the others, maybe unintentionally, we see this a lot with Virgil, who gets bothered enough that he has to mention it-

it doesnt work that well with Logan because Logan just flat out ignores it, and Roman just doesnt seem to care, but when Thomas brought it up in the video about growing up, sure, maybe he was a bit harsh, but Patton looked like a puppy that had just been kicked and yeah, idk, something feels icky about Patton, hes seeet yes, but almost sickly sweet, a ray of sunshine but like a super focused ray of sunshine ya know?

Dont get me wrong, i don't *hate* him, this is just my opinion, Virgil's always gonna be my fav, it just feels like Patton's idealised Thomas is a people pleaser??

I dont think Patton has any ulterior motives atm (im only 7:10 into the "Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness" video so bear with me on that) and hes not my least favourite, my ranking from fav to least fav goes: Virgil, Logan, Patton, Roman, Janus, Remus (Remus and Janus are tied though and Remus makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but hes predictably unpredictable, he doesnt *want* to hurt anyone, hes just doing what he thinks is funny, hes a joker, a prankster, a comedian at heart, Janus is the truly scary one, the way he can manipulate the truth and get people to do as he wants, and the way he almost blackmails Virgil by holding his pasy over his head is almost cruel as well)

Idk, a part of me thinks that Patton genuinely thinks that him having Thomas put everyone else first is good but thats also *not* good??

[firewolf111]

Welcome back!!! Could I request some Intruality fluff?

Sorry I took a bit on this. For some reason, I struggled to come up with an idea.

Either way, hope you enjoy!

(Just ignore the fact I wrote a Valentine's Day based story a week after Valentine's Day)

Tw: for mentions of gore bc Remus is Remus

Remus: Happy Valentine's, my beautiful pile of flesh and bones.

Patton: Happy Valentine's to you too, dear.

Remus: *pulling a gift box from out behind his back* I got you this.

Patton: *opens it to reveal a silver heart pendant adorned with sapphires and emeralds* Oh my gosh! I love it! It's so pretty! And the colors remind me of you and me.

Remus: I know. That was the intent.

Remus: I was originally going to get you the heart of the Minotaur, but then I remembered you aren't a big fan of guts, so I went with the next best thing. Roman, that romantic sap, even let me over on his side of the Imagination to make sure I didn't accidentally give you a cursed gem.

Remus: Even used dragon breath to melt and shape the silver, for some added flair.

Remus: I also used it to light a few fires in Roman's castle as a thank you gift. But that isn't really relevant.

Patton: I'm... going to pretend I didn't hear that last part for the sake of today.

Patton: And it sounds like you went through a lot of effort to make this for me. Thank you so much. I love it.

Remus: Yeah. It took some work, boring boring work. But it was worth it. Both for being able to annoy Roman and also for you. Mostly you. Lighting things on fire was just a bonus.

Patton: Yeah. Really makes the gift I got you seem thoughtless.

Remus: I doubt it's thoughtless. Unless you removed its brain. Did you? Can I have it if you did?

Patton: *laughing* No. I didn't remove any brains. Though I'll keep that in mind for next holiday.

Patton: I'm just saying I went a little cliché. Though I did add a little spin on it for you.

Patton: *walks away for a minute before returning with a pot of Venus Fly Traps*

Patton: I was going to put it in a bouquet, but I didn't want to kill them. It would have defeated the whole point.

Remus: Would have been fine if you killed them. I could have brought them back to life. Can you imagine? Zombie Venus Fly Traps!

Patton: *wincing slightly* I definitely can imagine that. Maybe next time. Just don't let them eat anyone if you do, please.

Remus: I'll do my best. But right now, I care more for these live ones. A gift from my wonderful love. *he takes the pot* And as much fun as zombie fly traps sound, I'm going to make sure these guys stay alive. I'll find my own plants to turn into zombies.

Remus: Thank you. I love them.

Patton: I'm so glad! Besides, it felt fitting. Not only did I know it was the kind of thing you'd love, but it also had Venus in the name. And if I remember correctly, I believe Logan said something about her being the Roman goddess of love.

Patton: At least, I think. There are a lot of gods. I get them mixed up. I have no clue how Logan remembers them all.

Remus: Murderous God plants. I like it.

Patton: Not quite what I meant, but I'm glad you like them.

Remus: Mhmm, but I love you much more.

Patton: I love you too.

[part-time-zombie]

Blame It On The Alcohol

pairings: loceit (romantic, can be read as platonic)

summary: janus is used to having a drink or two alone. he's not used to logan showing up at his door asking for a glass, and definitely not after it looks like he's already had a few drinks himself.

tags/warnings: alcohol use, drinking and getting/being drunk, sharing a bed, hurt/comfort, angst, logan isn't okay, janus notices, janus gets slightly flirty and logan gets slightly flustered near the end, he doesnt take advantage of him or anything though, yeah they both get drunk but nothing smutty happens

word count: 3464

The last thing Janus expected to hear was a knock on his door. It was late, for one, and he along with most of the other sides are usually winding down for the night at this hour. Not to mention the fact that no one had ever bothered to knock on his door at all, or even stop by for any reason. Well, Remus would let himself in and he often stays up this late, but he never knocks first, always just kicking the door open and making himself at home whether Janus was there or not.

So it wasn’t him, but he couldn’t think of any reason anyone else would be here. Patton is never up this late, and Roman and Virgil would rather let the house burn down than talk to him voluntarily, so why on earth would someone be at his door right now?

The knocking resumed, a slow but heavy pounding at a wavering rhythm, and Janus decided he may as well answer it before whoever it was got bored and left. Sparing a moment to ensure he looked decent (he had been getting ready for bed after all), he opened the door with his best attempt at a neutral expression.

Logan stared back at him with the same look, leaning casually against the door frame once the door was opened.

“I’m out of wine,” he slowly mumbled, raising an almost empty bottle to further emphasize his point.

Janus took a moment to respond, taking in the sight of Logan most certainly drunk at his door this late at night. His tie had been loosened and his shirt was uncharacteristically wrinkled, and every so often he should shuffle in place as if he were trying to keep his balance. He looked dead tired, and almost undone in a way Janus had never seen before.

"I can see that,” he finally said, still trying to make sense of the situation. “Although you technically still have a bit of wine left in that bottle. Why are you here, exactly?”

Logan looked back down at the bottle in his hand before bringing it to his lips and tilting his head back, easily downing the last of the wine without hesitation. Once the bottle was completely drained, he all but shoved it into Janus’ arms.

"Now I’m officially out of wine,” he corrected. “And to answer your question, I know you likely store some of your own in your room. I would like to have some if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Logan's eyes narrowed. “Not hardly.”

Well, if he was so set on getting blackout drunk, who would Janus be to deny him another glass or two? This was going to be fun.

"Very well. By all means make yourself comfortable,” he said, moving aside and letting Logan stumble in to his room. Logan all but fell into the plush seat by Janus’ desk, running a hand over his face with a sigh.

Janus set down a fresh bottle of wine before moving to unlock one of the desk drawers for some glasses. He had to take such drastic measures after Remus stole all of his wine glasses some time ago. He grabbed what he needed only to see Logan already chugging straight from the bottle, nearly a quarter of it already having been drunk.

Janus quickly snatched the bottle out of his hands and placed it on the farthest end of the desk, ignoring Logan's whine of protest.

"And here I thought I was the selfish one,” he chided. “It would only have taken me a moment to get a glass, you know.”

"But I don’t just want to have just a glass of wine,” Logan replied, his words now slightly slurred. “You’re allowed to drink until you’re totally inebriated, why can’t I?”

“Because you’re the responsible one.”

“What if I don’t want to be?”

That brought a weight to Janus’ stomach, sinking uncomfortably within him.

“What are you saying, Logan?”

Logan sighed in frustration, as if the answer was obvious and Janus was an idiot for needing to ask. “I’m saying I don’t see the point in doing all the work around here when it doesn’t get me very far. Everyone else is allowed to be silly and stupid and selfish, and I always end up cleaning up after them. Don’t I deserve a break?”

“Of course you do, but I don’t think this counts.”

Logan shrugged, glancing wistfully at the bottle Janus kept out of his reach. “Maybe not, but it’s the closest thing I can get. I can drink until I stop thinking for the night and recover in the morning to get back to work, it works well enough.”

“You’ve done this before?” Janus asked, though they both knew it was more of an observation than a question.

“On occasion, when I don’t want to have to deal with everything. I just happened to run out of wine tonight, and I knew you’d have some.”

Well, this wasn’t nearly as much fun as Janus had hoped. He reached over and grabbed the wine, taking a rather large swill from it in the same manner that Logan had before passing it over to him. He didn’t want to be fully sober for this conversation.

"So how long have you been drinking your cares away, exactly?”

Another shrug. “I’d say roughly around the same time you started making appearances, if not a little bit before. It wasn’t necessarily because of you, though.”

Well that was a relief.

“Then what was it about?”

Logan took another long drink before passing the bottle back to him. “Something tells me you already know.”

He had an inkling or two. He took a drink as he tried to come up with a way to bring it up, passing the bottle back and Logan quickly started chugging from it.

“At a guess, it’s probably about the others. Perhaps even Roman specifically.”

Logan set the bottle down with a sigh, not looking up at Janus. “It’s not just Roman, or even about the others really.”

“Then what it is about?”

“Why should I tell you, exactly? You don’t even know what it is yourself, not to mention I know how much you love gossip. Frankly, me coming to you at all was a mistake.”

Logan got up from his seat, making his way to the door. Or at least, attempting to do so, as he staggered unsteadily and ultimately fell to the floor with a painful grunt.

Janus fought back a grin as he helped Logan back up, placing him back in the chair.

“Something tells me storming off won’t get you very far,” he teased.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” he slurred, head drooping heavily. “Now you’ll go telling everyone about how foolish I look, and then I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Janus almost felt sympathy for Logan. Or maybe it was pity. Or the wine. Either way, seeing him so dejected and defeated by something he wouldn’t share tugged at something in his chest, and he found he couldn’t stand Logan being like this.

“I admit I love to spread rumors and drama, but I promise I won’t talk about this to anyone. This isn’t just some petty squabble to laugh at over dinner; whatever is going on with you isn’t something I’d joke about with anyone.”

Logan scoffed in response before taking another drink.

“I’d still like to know whatever or whoever it is that’s driving you to drink. I could help make sure it doesn’t get this bad again or find a means of getting you a proper break.”

“You won’t like the answer.”

“I still want to hear it.”

Logan took a particularly long swig from the bottle before passing what was left over to Janus, sighing to himself as he did so.

“It’s Thomas.”

Janus was glad he hadn’t taken a drink yet or he would have done a spit take right then and there. Of all the things Logan could have said, Janus never thought it’d be that.

“Thomas is the problem?”

“More accurately, I am.” Logan replied. “No matter what I do or how I try, nothing ever works. He won’t listen to me; he won’t even interact with me at all unless there’s another problem the others are too dramatic to fix. I’m just a tool to him, something to be used when needed and left to collect dust otherwise. I don’t know what it is I’m doing wrong or why I can’t get through to him, but it always ends the same. I beg for him to see me, and he looks straight through me. It’s like I don’t exist to him anymore.”

Logan was right, Janus hated this answer. Knowing that it had gotten this bad and that he was this neglected by not just the other sides but by Thomas himself made his stomach turn. He took another sip of wine, hoping that it would somehow make this easier.

Maybe that’s what Logan hopes for when he drinks.

Janus thought back to the few times he and Logan had interacted, how stressed he seemed and how much the others ignored him. He remembered how often he would shut Logan up or even remove him from the discussion entirely. He really was a part of the problem, wasn’t he? If he hadn’t taken such efforts to hog the spotlight for himself, maybe Logan would have been heard more clearly.

“I’m sorry, Logan. Truly.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not fully, but I had a hand in this all the same. I pushed you off to the side and let the others overlook you when you actually were the most helpful one there. I should have made the others, made Thomas, pay more attention to you. You don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I do. Maybe it’s something I’m doing wrong. I know everyone else can get his attention easily, so it has to be a failure on my part.”

“Now that’s just not true,” Janus added, passing the bottle back to him. “The others get his attention because they’re loud and dramatic. It’s hard to hear the weather alert on the news when there’s a storm howling outside. Just because you aren’t as obnoxious and over the top as them doesn’t mean you’re less than. If anything, I’d say it makes you better than them. You don’t resort to something so childish to be listened to.”

“Perhaps I should. It works for them, after all.”

“But is that how you want to be seen? Throwing a temper tantrum until all they hear is you screaming at them?”

“What other option do I have at this point? Everything else has failed.”

“Well, we can figure something out here. I can help to make him listen to you.”

Logan looked back up at him, skepticism shining in his hazy eyes. “And why would you offer to do that for me?”

“Because you’re an essential part of Thomas, and I admit I respect you a great deal.”

“Really? Even now, after you’ve seen me like this?”

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to not say anything too sentimental. Logan seemed to accept it as a viable response though, offering him a small smile before taking the bottle and finishing off the last of the wine in one final gulp.

“I should go to bed,” he mumbled, words slurring over again. “So should you.”

“You’re the one who knocked on my door this late at night,” Janus joked.

“Right, sorry about that.”

“Never apologize for coming to me, especially for something like this.”

Logan looked confused. “Requesting alcohol?”

“Needing someone to talk to.”

“… oh.”

The two sat together in silence for a moment, neither of them capable of finding something to say. Eventually Logan stood up from his chair again, albeit shakily, as he prepared to return to his room for the night. Janus watched as he tried and failed to walk on his own, before making up his mind with a sigh and gently grabbing hold of his arm.

“Janus, what- “

“You’re not making it to your room like this, not on your own anyway. I could walk you back if you want, but that’ll run the risk of someone seeing me escorting you out of my room in the middle of the night while you can barely stand. I think even in this state you can imagine how that would look to anyone.”

Logan nodded in agreement, head lolling about on his shoulders. “What do you suggest, then?”

“Well, I’m not exactly against the idea of you staying the night.” Janus felt himself blush as the implications of the idea came to mind. “I mean, only if you want to. Nothing is going to come of it and it doesn’t have to mean anything, it would just make sense for you to have somewhere to rest for the night without anything happening.”

Logan stared back at him, swaying lightly in his hold, before sighing. “I suppose so. If anything, the company might be nice. As long as you promise nothing will come of this. I doubt I’m in any state to start something like that right now.”

“Something like what?”

Logan didn’t respond, only flushing a beet red that definitely wasn’t from the wine.

Janus chuckled softly at the sight, greatly enjoying seeing Logan so open and emotional. He’d never had the chance to see him like this, and it was quite a sight.

He gently guided him back to the bed, changing them both into pajamas with a snap of his fingers. Logan sat down with a huff, leaning back towards the headrest as Janus crawled into the bed beside him. It took a few minutes of awkward maneuvering, but Logan eventually managed to slip beneath the covers, wasting no time in cozying up to Janus.

Janus froze, not quite sure what to do or how to react, but as he felt Logan's body heat washing over him and his arms wrapping tightly around him he found he didn’t quite care. If Logan needed this from him, who would he be to deny it?

“Pretty.”

“What was that?”

“Your scales,” Logan explained, looking up at him. “They’re pretty.”

As if to further prove his point, he reached up and let his hand drift slowly across the left side of his face, gently caressing the scales there.

“They’re smooth too. I like them.”

Now it was Janus’ turn to blush, sputtering out some vague semblance of a thank you before turning on his side, ensuring Logan couldn’t see his rapidly reddening face. The change in position also prevented Logan from further touching his scales, and Janus tried to pretend he wasn’t bereft of the experience. Not many people complimented him on his scales, and he had never let anyone go so far as to touch them before, but feeling Logan's skin softly against them felt pleasant in a way he couldn’t describe, much less address.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Logan said from somewhere behind him, voice tinged with regret.

“You didn’t, it’s just… sensitive, is all,” he lied. Mostly.

“Ah. Apologies.”

“It’s no problem. Goodnight.”

“… goodnight, then.”

Logan didn’t try to hold him again, and Janus tried not to think about how much he wanted him to.

“… Janus?”

Logan's voice echoed in Janus’ ear, pulling him out from the depths of sleep. He blinked his sleep-crusted eyes open groggily, groaning at the brightness of the light seeping in through the curtains.

 Turning his head with an aching stiffness in his neck, he found himself face to face with a very flustered Logan. A Logan that was currently wrapped tightly in his arms.

“What happened last night?” he asked him, eyes wide.

Shit. What did happen last night? He was getting ready for bed, then Logan showed up asking for a drink, then…

Ah. Right. That.

“Don’t you remember?” Janus asked, letting a playful smirk make its way across his face. May as well have some fun with this for a moment, after all. “It was definitely an eventful night we had, I’m sure at least some part of it is still fresh in your mind.”

Logan opened his mouth like he was about to say something only to close it again as he wriggled free from where he and Janus had evidently tangled together in the night. He sat up in bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest even though he was wearing a shirt and Janus fought back the urge to laugh. He was surprisingly cute all flustered like this.

“Look, whatever happened between us last night, it didn’t, alright? It didn’t mean anything, and it won’t happen again, so just please leave it alone.”

“Leave which part of it alone? The part where you all but fell into my arms in a drunken stupor, or the part where you let yourself be even more open and emotionally vulnerable than you might even be with yourself?”

“All of it, ideally. Especially the part where we woke up like… this.”

Janus arched an eyebrow. “Is that what you think happened? Some drunken one-night stand fueled by alcohol and repressed feelings?”

Logan squirmed under the teasing scrutiny. “… is that not what happened?”

Janus couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Not at all. We drank, we talked, and when you could hardly stand let alone walk to your room, I offered you my bed. Nothing else happened between us last night, at least, not like that.”

Some of the tension left Logan at that. “So you’re saying we didn’t… “

“Nope. I may be a horrible person, but I would never take advantage of you like that.”

“… oh. Well, that’s good to hear, I suppose. What did we talk about, exactly?”

Janus felt his smile slip, quickly replaced with a sympathetic look. “We talked about why you were drunk, and why you drink like this so much.”

Logan looked away, the tension from before returning. “I talked about that?”

“Seems like you needed to talk about it. You’ve been dealing with all of that for a while now by the looks of things.”

Logan cringed to himself, still not looking at Janus. “Right. I didn’t mean to bring that up with you. Whatever it is we discussed, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else.”

“I don’t plan on anyone else knowing, as long as you’ll do something for me.” he said, letting a trace of mischief slip through his voice.

“What is it you want from me now?” Logan asked, tone thick with skepticism.

Janus sat up in his bed, ensuring he was looking Logan head on and that he was looking back at him. He held his gaze, face slack but somber.

“Next time you want to drink, come to me. I’d rather you talk to me about whatever’s bothering you than have you drown yourself in wine again. I swear nothing you say will go beyond this room, but please just go to me instead of the wine.”

Logan fixed him with a deadpan stare. “That’s a bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it? Last I checked, you’re just as inclined to get inebriated if not more so.”

“That’s fair,” he chuckled. “But I drink for fun, not to forget about my problems.”

“… touché.”

Logan gave him a small smile, one that Janus returned.

“I didn’t make a fool of myself, did I?” he eventually asked.

“Not too much, though you were awfully affectionate near the end.”

Logan flushed. “Affectionate?”

“Just a little. You… may have complimented me. You said you liked my scales.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to- “

“Make me uncomfortable?” Janus teased. “You said the same thing last night. Don’t worry, I don’t mind. It was honestly rather sweet of you to say.”

Logan blushed and looked away again, and Janus let him. It meant he wouldn’t see the blush steadily creeping on his own face.

“I should get dressed, I have work to do.”

“Of course, I should get started on a few things myself.”

Logan quickly shuffled out of bed, Janus doing the same. With a wave of the hand, they were both changed back to their usual garb, and remaining equally flustered.

“I’m going to my room now,” Logan mumbled, still avoiding Janus’ gaze.

“Right, you do that. I’ll talk to you later then.”

Logan gave him a curt nod before walking out the door, closing it softly behind himself. Janus let out a breath, running a hand over his face. Wow, that was awkward.

At least he managed to get a little closer to Logan, right?

If only he knew how to proceed after all of this.

@britt-ish123 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @can-i-take-a-stab @rougeside4 @keitaisghost @new-zee-land

[delimeful]

just a little rush (2)

G/T July Day 5: Caught

warnings: angst, remus POV w more theoretical gore than usual, mentions of surgery & gore, jerk giant minor oc, panic, dissociation, dehumanization  

-

Remus hated to admit it, but Pattycakes had been right.

He definitely should have waited a little longer before trying for his next escape attempt.

It was the woulda-coulda-shoulda sort of regret that he didn’t usually waste time on. He was well aware of how many of his plans were bonafide bad ideas, and he generally went through with them anyhow.

The alternative was letting the fire ants under his skin grow more and more intolerable until he ended up doing the dumb thing anyway, but even more recklessly. It wasn’t so much a ‘choice’ as it was a ‘delay of the inevitable’.

After all, he was the only one getting hurt in the end, right?

Now, watching helplessly from behind birdcage bars as that bastard human loomed over Patton, he was finding that there were some consequences that could make him feel regret, after all.

Initially, the bastard had seemed eerily unperturbed by catching Remus in the act, even if his grip had gone dangerously tight for a heartbeat. He’d dropped Remus back in that gaudy cage without even a single word of scolding, turning away with a preoccupied gaze.

That should have been the first sign that something was about to go horribly wrong.

As it was, Remus’s bad feeling didn’t catch up with the reality of the situation until the human walked in mid-phone call, stopping right in front of them. The bastard looked them over with a calculating eye as he spoke to the tinny voice on the other end about prices and procedures, as though they were too dumb to put the pieces together.

Patton hadn’t stopped shaking until hours later, his wings tucked as tight against his back as they would go. Remus had forced himself silent for once, knowing that the gory thoughts he had to offer would only make the situation worse, and simply squeezed Patton against his side as securely as he could.

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. No matter how hard they tried to cling on, it only took a single human hand to wrench them apart.

When the bastard had walked in with heavy leather gloves on, Remus had thought he was ready. He’d been prepared for his wings to be mangled, for tiny hollow bones to shatter and wiry muscles to be ground to a pulp, for even the lifelong pain of a botched amputation.

He hadn’t been prepared for the human to grab Patton, instead.

He was shouting, barking swears and threats and pleas that he barely registered as words as Patton was pinned against the polished wood of the nearby table.

It was like he had to make as much noise as possible to counter Patton’s awful, tremulous silence. His cellmate’s face had gone blank and pallid, eyes distant. A few of Remus’s shouts had made him twitch, but nothing seemed enough to bring him back to himself now.

The human— the monster pressed down on Patton’s wing joints and forced the feathery limb to flex open, soft blue plumage on full display.

It picked up a pair of narrow scissors, ignoring the compulsive twitches of the overextended wing under its hand.

The howl that Remus made was inhuman, shredding out of him like razor blades in his throat, and the human paused to glance over at him for the first time.

“Huh.” Its expression was pleased, almost smug. “That vet was right on the money with that ‘social creatures’ thing. Maybe this will finally teach you that there are consequences to your actions, hm?”

It flicked the scissors open with a metallic sound, and as though it was a signal that all was lost, Patton went entirely limp with resignation.

Remus forced himself to keep gripping the bars with numb hands, to keep his ears uncovered, to keep his gaze locked on the only friend he had here. His heart felt like a hammer against his ribs, his mind conjuring up a hundred different gruesome imaginings that were all nothing in comparison to knowing it was about to happen for real.

Patton was going to be grounded forever, at best, and it was his fault. The least he could do was witness exactly what he’d caused.

The monster slid the scissor blades into place, adjusting the angle once or twice, and then snapped them shut with a sharp snkt!

A fistful of feathers tumbled free from Patton’s wing, jagged at one end from where they’d been sheared off. Another cut, and more downy blue scraps fluttered down to the desk’s surface.

Remus felt his breath catch in his throat, a sick and sudden hope twisting through him.

He waited on pins and needles as first one wing, and then the next, had their feathers cropped short with snip after snip of the scissors. There was no split flesh or severed bone, only the near-silent whisper of more and more feathers being cut away.

There were a few moments where the scissors got dangerously close to clipping a blood feather, but ultimately, when Patton was deposited back in the cage, it was without a single wound.

Well. Without any physical wounds.

Even as Remus gathered his friend into a crushing hug, Patton remained unresponsive. Checking him over revealed dull eyes and his shorn wings laid out limply behind him.

He didn’t twitch, not even when the human reached in and clicked a thick, bulky piece of plastic around his shin.

More than willing to pick up the slack, Remus lunged at the intruding digits with a snarl and bared teeth, his wings flared out aggressively.

There was no biting through gloves that thick, though, and with a few casual movements, it had him pinned down with suffocating force. A pair of fingers pinched around his leg, pulling the limb straight and maneuvering something hard and smooth into place around it despite his best efforts to kick and writhe.

There was a click, and the bastard finally, finally withdrew, closing and locking the cage door thoroughly behind it.

Remus barely spared a glance for the thick plastic cuff that had been latched around his lower leg or the wire cord connecting it to the other half of the restraint where it sat on Patton’s own leg. It didn’t matter, not compared to the insistent urge to reach out and make sure that Patton was really there, really alive despite his current lifelessness.

At first, he scoffed at the idea that it was a punishment to be linked to his only companion in this sterile gold-leafed hell, but a closer inspection of Patton’s wings revealed the truth.

Almost every single primary had been severed, an obvious gap with a long stretch of jagged angles left behind. Patton wouldn’t be able to fly like that. Remus would be surprised if he could even manage to glide like that.

Oh. He understood now.

Without use of his wings, the chances of them escaping dropped as abruptly as a piano from the top of a skyscraper, going from challenging to near-impossible.

Hurting Patton and making him watch had been the punishment. Cuffing them together, making it so that any attempt to fly, to escape, would end with Patton inevitably dragging them down— that was a reminder.

Maybe they could still manage to find a way out, if Patton could be persuaded once he came back to himself.

Maybe next time they got caught, it would be the wing itself that was snapped, instead of just the feathers.

Maybe the punishments would continue to escalate until all that was left to cuff Remus to was Patton’s bloodied corpse.

“Sunshine,” he tried with an unsteady voice, desperate for a response, anything to get his mind off the miserable hopelessness of their situation. “Can you hear me?”

Patton didn’t even blink, his mind far away and his body unresponsive. He stared through Remus with glassy eyes, and Remus bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, forcing his breathing into something steadier out of spite alone.

Okay. Patty Wagon wasn’t quite ready to come back yet. That was alright.

Remus could take care of them both for a little bit.

He drew Patton closer, folding his friend’s wings back in as neatly as he could and resisting the urge to run his fingers obsessively over the irregular edges of the cut feathers– they’d need to be removed, but not now. Not now.

Once his mangled wings weren’t laying askew, Patton started looking a little less like roadkill. It was alarmingly easy to maneuver him into a hopefully-comfortable sleeping position, as simple as wrapping an arm around his shoulders and squishing him against his side like they were dead fish in a tin.

It might have been his imagination, but when he ran his hand over Patton’s back, he thought it was a little less tense than before.

With nightmarish visions still playing on the back of his eyelids every time he blinked, Remus mantled his wings to hide the both of them as best he could, and settled in for a sleepless night.

[sanderssideswriting]

Just watched the Halloween video from this year and saw screencaps of the Halloween video from a few years back… I just don’t understand how we can go from Frankenstein prosthetics for Logan in that episode to messy eyeliner with visible mess up marks for Janus in the new one. Like it’s not a difference of a new makeup artist, it just feels like a lack of caring for it to be as good as it’s been.

I just loved this series so deeply before, so it’s frustrating to see what seem like such flippant disregard for the quality of what they’re making

thank you for this ask because I've been thinking of going through each makeup look and analyzing them more. I totally agree with you about the lack of care. The whole thing is so insanely rushed when they could've taken like, a few more days of planning if they wanted to get it out for halloween, or hell a few days after and have them spin it as them being sad spirit halloween is gone for the year and what a spirit christmas would be like. Or like, the 12 days of christmas but 12 days of spirit halloween? I just feel like there could've been some better ideas. The makeup looks like they were given 5 minutes to figure out what each side would be and 5 minutes to do the make up itself.

onto the make up analysis that'll be under the cut.

Little disclaimer before though, I'm in no way a makeup artist, what I am is a cosplayer and I've pulled together some pretty cool shit with very limited supplies and knowledge.

editors note: so according to the comments it seems like everyone's a character from the nightmare before christmas? Or at the least, Remus, Virgil, Roman and maybe Logan. I don't know, I've seen the movie like twice. just keep that in mind I didn't know until after writing everything below. But it really doesn't change my criticisms of the makeup

first on the list: JANUS

now this is just, I don't even know what it is. I think it's from the I'm Mr White Christmas, song because every year people do half Mr. White Christmas and half Mr. Sun makeup and it looks very good. But you don't need it to look that good. Like, I'd personally make the contrast between the blue and red way more, because it just isn't there. Maybe to keep the snake appearance do like, orange scales or orange underneath then red? Something to look more like fire. the joker esque smile doesn't work, again the contrast is very bad. The blue sticks out but the red doesn't so I'd get some lipstick, maybe a blue eyeliner if you can't get a blue lipstick, and loose the black lines, maybe make the blue side white and the red side more of a very dark red?

VIRGIL

I've got no idea, it's just so generic. A ghoul? A zombie? Who knows, not me. first of all, make the eye makeup darker, maybe some dark contour to make his cheeks look sunken in. if the stitches have to be purple then I'd say make it darker and use a black eyeliner pencil to add some definition and some detail that's harder to do with the eyeshadow

LOGAN

Frankenstein's monster? Or Frankenstein, the thing on his forehead says monster, the lab coat says man. why the fuck is Logan the only one who's got something over his usual attire. I guess you could argue that he just has one laying around? I'm not going to get into the wonky line, straight lines are hard. but the screw, again could've been done better with an eyeliner pencil because they are very pale.

PATTON

also I'm not trying to take unflattering screenshots, I'm just trying to get a clear one of Thomas facing the camera

a clown! very simple, very easy and the makeup is fucking visible!! Personally, adding the triangles around the eyes would be nice, for Patton I'd definitely lean on the fun side of clows and not the scary side. I just think a little more could be done. But I'm just thankful there's an actual red nose. The bar is low. I have to mention Patton's verse again, it's so bad, so rushed, could there not have been a little more thought into it specifically?

ROMAN

Jack Skellington I believe? I don't fucking know. my issue is the eyemake up once again, Make it much darker and less blocky. maybe some nose contour or try to make it look like an actual human skull? the stitches are eh, but I feel like they could be darker, maybe a liquid eyeliner in this case. This is also the only one where I think they really tried to hide Thomas's mustache I guess for the lip stitches?

REMUS

THe boogey man? Also from the nightmare before christmas. Are Roman and Remus doing a group costume? Remus's is probablt the best, he is also the only other side with something over his costume. The makeup looks pretty good, the black is solid at least around his mouth. Again, the eye makeup should be darker. the things on his cheeks are worms I believe. those are alright, I'd probably try to make them stand out a little more

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Chapter 21

Masterpost of chapters

Cw: Talk of past sexual assault (not detailed)

2024, Scotland

"Please just have a chat with him" Patton lowered his glasses to do puppy eyes "For me?"

Logan looked at him fluttering his eyelashes "…Fine"

"Yaaay!"

The corridor was dead silent and even when Patton put his ear up against the door he couldn't hear any sign of the human. At first he thought maybe Janus had gone to bed, but then he got the horrifying thought that maybe he had tried to escape through the window. The thought made him knock.

"Human? I don't want to disturb but Nico needs to go out for her evening walk"

At the mention of the dog's name he heard a happy woof come from the room and the sound of heavy feet dragging against the floorboards soon following. The door creaked open just enough to let the huge dog through, which Logan took as an opportunity to ram his foot in between the door and the frame.

Patton gave him a thumbs up before taking Nico out for her walk. Logan turned to the human and asked calmly "May I come in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"I would prefer it if you answered yes, but that is not for me to choose. Being alone for long after going through something stressful is not good for the human brain"

Janus squinted at him "Where is…the bastard?"

"Remus is sleeping downstairs"

He hesitantly let the door glide open "Whatever"

The blinds in the room had been rolled down and none of the lights were on. Janus sat down on the floor with his back against the bed and though Logan thought it was highly stupid to sit on the floor when the bed was right there, he sat down beside the human anyway.

"Usually my husband is the one who handles the emotional talking, but he thought it may do you good to speak to me, how are you feeling?"

"I have Never in my whole life felt better than I do right now at this moment! What reason Could I possibly have to feel upset!? Preposterous! Upset? Me? Never! Unthinkable!"

"I think I hear hints of sarcasm"

Janus tightly held his arms around himself "He took my first experiences from me! He took my first boyfriend! My first date! My first time! He took them just so he could- he could-" His lip quivered "I'm never getting any of that back! I had been so careful not to let anyone trick me but he acted so callously clueless! Ugh! I need some pen and paper right now!"

"What for?"

"To write down my plans of revenge! Obviously!"

Logan lent his cheek against his palm "Would it perhaps help to think of it as being your first date with a demon? You still have not gone on your first date with a human"

"Semantics don't matter right now! He still used me! And you knew!?"

"I wasn't aware of just how close the two of you had gotten. I'm sorry. I was under the understanding that Remus was avoiding being intimate with you because he was averse to sex but not of the understanding that he was spending that much time with you. Furthermore, I remember how earth-shattering it can be when new species reveal themselves to you but there is beauty in discovery as well" He rolled up his sleeve to show the rough rectangular scar on his forearm "Succubi do not retain scars but this is from when I was a human so it has stayed, same as my sight needing assistance"

"Okay buddy I'm not going to like you more just because you have a weird scar. I got enough of my own"

"What I mean is that I am the only other being in this household who knows what it is like to be human, and to be a human romantically involved with a demon. When I met my husband I was still human"

Janus rolled his eyes and looked away in silence for a while before muttering out "…Did you know what he was?"

"Yes, Yes I did. I'm sorry that I can not fully empathize with your experience but I assume that you must be tired from taking in all of this sudden information. Perhaps taking a break from thinking…and planning your rightful revenge could help? I could tell you how me and Patton met"

"Oh yes for ssssure, what I want most of all is some old bitch to tell me his boring life story"

"A bitch is a female dog. I'm a succubi"

"You're barely a step up above silence"

"Ah but I am a step up. I will keep it short then"

-

1644, Scotland

Reports of a new outbreak of the plague had started to flood in but away in the monastery near the seaside of Aberdeen the sickness had not reached the monks yet. Becoming a monk had been a given for Logan because monks were one of the few professions who got to not only learn to read but spend their days studying texts and translating them.

(It also step sided the problem of marriage. No woman would ask to marry a monk)

Still the hours he poured into translation did not mean Logan was liked by his fellow men since he could not stop his habit of questioning everything he read. He wondered whether Heaven and Hell were a metaphysical place, He wondered what kind of brainpower God must have to watch them all at the same time, He wondered the exact definitions of sin. And all he ever got in response was to have faith.

Faith, faith, faith. What had faith done for them a hundred years ago when people were burned at the stake for believing that the sun was in the center of the universe only to be proven right by history?

So he holed up in his room and stocked up on candlelight to be able to study through the nights. It was on such a night when the wind was still but the stars were hidden by the clouds and the candle wax was pooling up at the bottom of the holders that a knock came on the window.

At first Logan thought nothing of it. His room was on the third floor of the monastery, so it was not humanly possible to climb up there. It must have been a bird flying into the glass or a tree branch knocking against it.

But the knocking came back and this time followed by a voice calling for him to "Open! Please!"

Logan turned from his desk and to his surprise he saw a person pressing their face up against the window leaving smudge marks all along it. He checked his glasses just to make sure he wasn't seeing things before unlocking the window and letting the strange man in.

"Thank you! It was getting real cold out there!" The stranger said in a cheery tone while climbing into the room.

He didn't look threatening at first but the more Logan looked the more strange he seemed. He was shoeless and his feet animallike with claws digging out from his toes, a goattail was sticking out from his simple brown lapsack pants and big batlike wings stuck out from his back. It looked as if his skin had stretched out between the bones on his back to form them.

The stranger bowed before introducing himself "I'm Pat, currently short for Patricus previously short for Patricia, I am a succubi and if you want I am here to seduce you tonight"

The human didn't manage to muster a response so the demon continued.

"I was made to indulge humans who are attracted to 'Bears'. If you could tell me beforehand if you see me as a man or woman that would certainly help me make this as good for you as I can!!"

"You look like an amalgamation of many animals but bear is not one of them"

"Oh it's a demon term! We're working on making it a common term among humans as well!"

"Huh. Second question why are you topless?"

Pat glanced down at himself before smacking his hands together and letting out a big bubbly laugh "I knew I had forgotten something! I hope you don't mind!"

"I don't think I do"

The demon shone up into a bright smile, the kind that made the skin bundle up under his eyes. He moved up close to the human and held up his pinky "Pinky promise you want this?"

Logan didn't hesitate before pinky promising and let himself be pulled in for a kiss.

Afterwards the demon laid on his stomach in his bed and let the human poke at his outstretched wings "They're more muscular than I thought at first" Logan said.

"You know what they say! What you don't have in your brain you gotta have in your legs- uh- wings!"

"I did not know they said that, no"

Patton let out a laugh while rolling over on his back so he could face the human. He mindlessly took Logan's hand in his and played with his fingers while talking, "Going to monasteries are always a safe bet, your people are much more lovesick than you want to think. But usually it takes them at least some seducing first. Or well more like letting them think the big bad demon is seducing them so they don't have to feel guilty for wanting love. But you were awfully quick to accept"

"I took a man literally climbing in through my window in the middle of the night as a sign that if I had any qualms left about what I am it was time to figuratively throw them out"

"OOOOHHH what are you?"

"Someone who enjoyed this encounter. I've read up on Romans enough to know I am not the only man throughout history who has bolstered this type of attraction but this was the first time I have had the choice to experience it. I think it was....pleasant"

Patton smiled "I thought you were about to say you were secretly a werewolf or something but that's good too!"

After the demon noticed his glasses they ended up discussing how Logan could see and he admitted the only thing he wished he could see more clearly were the stars. Patton ended up carrying him in his arms as he flew up into the clouds to take him as close to the nightsky as he could. They flew around for hours before stopping at a windstill hill near the ocean to make love once more but under the stars this time.

Soon after he had come the demon suddenly seemed distressed and the trip back to the monastery went by much quicker, and quieter. He let Logan climb back in through the window before flying away leaving the human to wave after him.

A week after the meeting a knock came upon Logan's window once again once more in the middle of the deep dark night, but this time he knew what…or who to expect. He opened to find Patton who he quickly moved aside to let in.

The demon flapped his wings to warm them back up while looking around the almost bare room. All he had was his bed, his desk with its candle and his many books. Patton leant over the desk and oooeh

"Are you transcribing something?"

"From Latin yes. Why are you visiting?"

"Oh well" Patton nervously laughed while his eyes dotted around "I just hmmm forgot a thingamajig last time I was here so I just wanted it back"

"I clean every week so I'm quite sure I would have noticed if you left anything"

"But what's that behind you!!" Patton pointed which made Logan turn his head for a moment and when he turned back the demon had not so subtle put a random pen on the desk. He did a fake gasp "Here's my thingamajig!"

Logan crossed his arms and leant his side against the wall "You don't need a reason to want to see me"

The demon clicked his tongue while squinting "I kind offfff dooo. I- Succubi are only meant to seduce a human once since our goal is to make them sin and once they've sinned there's no reason to see them again. But with you it all came so naturally I didn't think to stop before we did it again. I uhhhh I just wanted to give this to you"

Patton took a glass jar out from his bag but as far as Logan could see it was completely empty. He pushed up his glasses and stared closer.

The demon laughed so hard that the tips of his wings bounced "no no there's nothing for you to see. I realized when I was holding you I couldn't fly as far up as when I'm flying on my own so I flew as far up as a could and collected the air for you. Some space air for you! Sorta!"

He handed it over and as he did their fingers touched and Patton blushed slightly. The expression seemed so innocent for a demon who must have touched countless humans during his life. Logan couldn't help but smile slightly.

"You do realize I will not be able open it without the air disappearing, do you not?"

"That's okay. I'll just fly up and get you another bottle!"

-

2024, Scotland

"So it is just lovey dovey shit. Gross. I have a" Janus stopped to yawn "I have a revenge plan to get back to"

Logan stood up "I see. For your information this is my spare hobby room and I am giving you full permission to use the bed. My husband will probably bring you breakfast in the morning so sleep well"

"Sleep? Never heard of her"

The demon left the room and made sure to properly close the door behind him. He soon heard the lock be turned on the other side and stayed standing long enough to hear snores. He went down the stairs to the living room where Remus was to his surprise not sleeping. He was laying still on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest like a mummy.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Logan asked.

'and miss out on feeling this delicious pain??!?!?!' He signed with his working hand. He waved that hand around to mimic exclamation marks.

"I thought getting your arm impaled would be enough for you but it seems I was wrong"

'yup' Remus tried to subtly poke at his bandages but Logan slapped his hand away.

"Don't make me put the dog cone on you"

'it would match my collar!!!!'

Logan decided there was no winning when it came to threatening the demon into acting sane so instead he sat in silence and waited for his husband to come back from walking the actual dog. Soon enough Nico happily came yapping into the room and jumped up to snuggle on Logan's lap, completely unaware of her size and the way she nearly smothered him.

"Kiddooo, you should be resting!!" Patton said as soon as he had put away the dog leash.

"I suggest we give him back his voice now. He is clearly not averse to pain and having him heal first would only be a waste of time"

"Do you think you'd be okay with that kiddo?"

Patton stared at him with his big blue eyes which only made Remus gulp and push himself to sit up. 'How?'

"It's easy! I just do what your manager would have done if they had hypothetically given you your voice back. We'll fix it in a yippie!"

'Im not letting some geriatric traitors mess with my body. Youll probably brain wash me or cut my toes off so I cant run or'

Logan who had been translating his singing to Patton stopped as the demon continued to sign wilder and wilder ideas "If you get your voice back your brother will too"

Remus stopped in his tracks and seemed to think it over before signing 'Why didnt you start with that! Sure! If Ro gets his voice back I will let you experiment on me!'

Patton let out an excited "Yippie!" before hurrying off to another part of the house. The sound of metal turning could be heard before a click, similar to a safe being unlocked. When the demon came back he was holding an old notebook torn and frayed at the edges. The spine had been taped together with ductape and on the cover a red stain had been left many many years ago.

"Get a bucket and some candles sweetiepie" Patton instructed before laying his arm around Remus' shoulder and guiding him out of the house "We best do this in the garden in case you scream. Your human has finally fallen asleep and humans need to recuperate in that way"

He moitioned for Remus to lay down on the grass. The wet strands of glass tickled against his back as he saw Logan come back. The bucket was set beside him ("Please try and throw up into it or else the flowers will smell") and one after the other the candles were placed in a circle around his head and lit ("Be careful so you don't light your hair on fire").

Patton opened the book and Remus tried to catch a glimpse of the page but Logan covered his eyes. Through the gaps of his fingers he could see that Logan had closed his eyes as well.

"If anyone who isn't Patton tries to read that book their eyes melt" He said matter of factly "Don't ask me how we figured that out"

Despite eyes melting sounding kind of fun Remus played along and closed his. The sudden sensation of Patton pressing his fingers against his lips made him twitch but he parsed his lips and let the older demon press his thumb against the tip of his tongue.

Patton began to speak but the way he spoke made chills run up Remus' spine. It didn't sound like the language of demons but not exactly Angelic either. It was something much older and more primal than that.

He continued to repeat the words until suddenly Remus felt something sticky crawl up through his insides.

-

2024, England

At the same time Virgil was sitting on the bus with his face moodily staring out of the window and in his headphones in as he imagined himself in a music video. All of a sudden he noticed that Roman had began to shake in the seat next to him. At first he was about to ask if she was cold and needed to borrow his hoodie but as he took out his headphones and turned his head he realized she wasn't just shaking.

Her entire body was convulsing with her fingers spazzing and her face contorting into a painful expression with her mouth hanging agape.

"Shit, are you- You okay?" Virgil asked but obviously no response came.

Roman started to gurgle and spit up bits of bile all while shaking. A cold sweat ran down Virgil's skin as he forced his voice to louden.

"Uhh! Uhh driver! Can we-" Everyone on the bus turned to look at him or at least it felt like it "Can we please stop? My friend is- is having a seizure"

The bus shifted to drive to the side of the road "Want me to drive you near a hospital?"

"No. No thanks but he just he just needs some stable ground"

At this point the convulsing had gotten so bad that Roman nearly fell out of her seat, only being stopped by Virgil wrapping his arms around her. The bus came to a sudden stop and the angel had to use his wings to give him the extra strenght needed to basically carry the demon out onto the pavement. In a hurry he let out some sort of thank you and caught the busdriver waving as they drove away.

The ground had barely had time to hit against Roman's knees before he threw up.

The puke was pure black and oozing. As it landed on the cement it stuck like gum while Roman panted and groaned in pain. It oozed before to Virgil's horror it moved and slunk away down into the drain.

"Did you- Whatt- huh" Was all Virgil got out.

Roman woobled side to side before collapsing to let out raggedy breathes. The angel muttered under his breathe while taking off his hoodie and laying it on the ground so that Roman didn't have to lay on the dirt at least. He poked at her cheek and checked her pulse.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I feel like Gaston after he fell off that cliff" Roman mumbled back.

"You're well enough to make Disney references so that's like good I guess. The next bus should...."

Virgil stopped to think. If they got on the next bus they could be near Janus by the evening but on the other hand Roman was as pale as sheet and barely looked to have enough energy to breathe, much less travel. He glanced between the demon and the bus sign before sighing.

"Okay I'm gonna google if there's a hotel nearby"

"What?" Roman shifted his head to look up at the angel but the simple movement made the white clump of hair fall from his skull and both of them stared at it with shock for a second.

"Dude. Do you think a human doctor would notice that you're not human? 'Cause maybe we should go to one"

"Doctor? The only type of healer I go to is a spa or a wizard" Roman tried to sit up "When's the next uhh magical unicorn bus coming to pick us up??"

Virgil picked up his phone and searched until he found a motel only a walking distance away "Jannie isn't in any danger right now. If anything happens I'll just leave you here for now and fly there- I'll come back for you- uh I guess- Maybe- Sorta. But yeah did you like eat some Alien shit recently? Or do demons normally throw up black goo?"

"Maybe it was that pasta I ate at your place. I'm lactose intolerant"

"How the fuck is a succubi lactose intolerant"

"A cow scared me when I first came to earth. I've had a fear of them ever since"

"that is not how lactose intolerance works-Wha- Why am I debating this! Come on! Get up! You gotta feel good enough to book a hotel room because if I have to talk to another clerk I will die"

Roman ran her fingers against her neck "I feel.....lighter"

"I hope it's not in a seeing the light kind of way"

"...No....More like....Drinking a poition, a good one. I think"

They arrived at the hotel stinky and dirty from sitting on the ground and with Roman looking like she had just knocked back 5 redbulls and fallen down a hill. Despite that her natural charm managed to land them a room and Virgil quietly clapped as she gave him one of the keys.

"Alright sounds like our room is down that corridor" Virgil said as they walked down the winding halls of the hotel.

They passed a longue with a few couches littered about and a vending machine with a pot of coffee standing on the table next to it. Against the middle of the wall stood a fishtank with a few guppies and clownfishes bopping about in it.

Virgil continued past it without a second glance but noticed that Roman had stopped and he had to call out to her to make her continue.

"Here it is!" Virgil went up to unlock the door and held it open for his companion but Roman froze.

She started to shake again and at first Virgil looked around for the best spot to vomit before realising this was just anxiety shaking. 'Just' and ' just', she was shaking like a leaf with her eyes wide open in horror. She twisted her arms around her herself and backed away.

"I don't want to go in there"

"Ro-"

She shook her head furiously "I don't want to go in there!"

Virgil wasn't a stranger to hyperventilating and therefore noticed it as soon as Roman started to heave for breathe. She sunk down to the floor and started to gasp repeatedly.

"Ro what's wrong? Talk to me" He hunched down to be at the same level as her. He knew she wasn't going to respond but simply speaking would help.

The demon moved his hands up to cover his ears at the same time that his eyes unfocused and stopped blinking. Oh no it was the overthinking spinning out into a complete tune out.

"Ro I'm gonna touch you. Just your hand"

The demon flinched at first when Virgil took her hand but let him place the tip of her fingers against the vein on his neck.

"Just like try to focus on me. I'm right here"

It took a while but Roman ever so slightly started to focus her eyes on him as she felt the steady rythmn of his heartbeat. Until she let out a groan.

"Ugh that wasn't very cool epic princely knight of me"

"All princes in this country are nonces anyway" Virgil joked back.

Roman let his fingers fall away "Nice neck trick"

"Ehh it's not mine. Janni- my human always does it to me when I get panic attacks"

"Huh. Well shall we check if the room is to my high standards?" Roman asked wanting to quickly move on from that embarrassing display of weakness.

"You okay with that now?"

A slight tremor moved up along his arm as his eye twitched "Yeah I'm good! I love adventuring! Love discovering new parts of Earth! So fun! Bus trip! So fun!" His smile was as stale as a corpse. "It wasn't the room that uh fucked me over. I think it was the" He grimaced at the word "Fish tank. There were like a dozen fish tanks in the apartment I was raped in so"

The bluntness of it made Virgil stop and panic about what the most sensitive way to respond was. All he got out was "Oh. Uhm. Uhhh"

"Let's go. Shall we!" Roman said, swiftly moving on.

The room did have two beds but they were pushed together so Virgil hurried over to push space between them while blushing red. "Woooow akward am I right hahaHAH" The angel tried to joke to lighten the mood but Roman didn't give a response.

"I think I'll take a shower....Get the alien shitpuke away"

Virgil did finger guns and immediately regretted it "Cool. Uh. Don't drown"

Roman locked the bathroom door and checked it three times before leaning in front of the sink and sighing. At the sight of his reflection he flinched and moved to quickly throw his clothes aside but that only made him feel worse. The near panic attack making him relive the assault had left him hard and he felt so unimaginble gross for it.

Logically he knew it was just a physical response but he felt as if it was some big give away that he had secretly enjoyed it.

The stupid hotel shower had stupid see through glass. Did hotels hate shower curtains or something. He wanted to hide himself into a tiny little box but at least the water was warm.

She jerked off while thinking of the assault and it all made her feel nauseous. She just wanted it go away. This was the first time she'd gotten aroused since it happened, was this just how her body worked now. Would she have to think about it every time.

He remembered the tv had been on the entire time but the sound was so low he hadn't heard any of it. It was some show from the greed ring and while it happened all his eyes had been able to focus on was the fictional characters moving about.

It was so strange how he couldn't remember exactly what the manager had done but he remembered that the character on the tv had to go to the police in the episode to argue against a parking ticket. The show was supposed to take place on Earth with the demon actors playing humans. All of their tails had to be hidden under clothing and the horns hidden under wigs. Ridicolously big wigs.

He hadn't seen how the episode had ended. It had been over before then. It was so stupid but when it ended and the manager left the room to take a shower Roman had been embarrassed that the fish had seen it. All of them seemed to stare at him with empty eyes from behind the glass. He hadn't been able to get up immediately afterwards, not because of some physical reason, but because his entire body felt too heavy. It felt like the wrong response. as if he should have run out from there as soon as he could and not waited for the manager to come back. But he had stayed there. Staring at the fishes and the fishes staring back at him.

A whimpering moan slipped out from between her lips and she slammed her mouth shut out of shame before realizing she had made a sound? A sound while alone?

"Aaahh" She tested "huhghg aahhh bleehhh hi hello I'm Roman" The words came out as smoothly as they used to.

Her insides turned all ticklish from joy with the tips of her fingers suddenly feeling like fireworks as she jumped out from the shower. She was about to shove the door open but remembered that nudity made her new friend uncomfortable and quickly wrapped a towel around herself.

"VIRGILLLLLLL!" He sang while kicing the door open "ANGEL OF DARKNESS!!"

"Why are we yelling? Was there a spider in the shower or something?"

"No stupid! Can't you hear!? LA LA LA LA LA! I got my voice back" He coughed "It's still a bit rusty but it feels better"

Virgil put his phone aside "How?"

The demon shrugged.

"What the fuck did they put in the shower at this place- Could Remus or Janus have done something? Are you and him connected in that way?"

She shrugged again "Angel I've never had my voice taken away before. It's not like I know how any of this works" Her tail excitedly waged back and forth "Well. I should probably finish the shower. Just wanted to tell you that"

The emo let up into a smile "Yeah. Worthy enough news to get out of the shower for innit"

"Indeed!"

Roman spent the rest of the shower singing at the top of her lungs while scrubbing her scalp with her fingers. She wanted to feel brand new- Or maybe more like a previous version of herself. The one she had been before losing her voice. Her nails had grown long and jagged from her biting on them out of nervoussness so by the time she was done in the shower she had scratchmarks all over herself but it was better to feel that than feel traces of the past.

Her clothes stank from wearing them for so long but all she could do was hang them up to try and wear the hotel robe for now.

"Oooohhh Viiiirgggiilllll are you ready to hear me recite all of Legally Bloooonndee!" He stepped out from the bathroom and saw the angel stuffing a dozen monster energies into the tiny hotel minifridge "Oh my. Was wittwe Wirgil brave enough to travel out to the vending machine? Impressive"

Virgil pushed the last can in and stood up. He pushed a papercup across the table towards Roman while saying "Uh yeah I got you some tea with honey too...You dick...I thought like it would help your voice. And you'd probably not wanna have to go into that room to get it yourself"

Both the near panic attack and shower had gone by without Roman shedding a tear but for some reason Virgil handing him the cup of tea made him burst into tears which made the angel flinch.

"Did- Did I fuck something up?"

"No" She sniffled "No that's just really sweet of you"

"Dude I walked like...3 metres at most"

He laguhed before taking a sip from the tea "Of course it's English Breakfast. Makes sense. Wanna watch Legally blonde now? The whole musical is free on youtube! So y'know..you as an Angel don't have to pirate watch it!"

"If we're gonna watch a musical can we at least like watch Repo or Sweeney Todd or something"

"Of course! Forgot you're alllll edgy and dark" Roman gasped "!! I saw a balett rendition of Frankenstein last year! I wish you could have been there! I bed you'd love it!"

"Dunno. I've never even seen a balett i think"

"I'll show you some! Don't even worry about it!!"

--

Janus looked out of the window at Remus running around in the garden while screaming and hollering. He had been doing this for 5 hours ever since he got his voice back. The human couldn't stop looking at him, for one because he was hoping that he would suddenly develop telepathic abilities and kill the bastard with a single thought, but also because a part of him missed talking to the demon.

The door handle rattled and Janus unlocked it before backing away. He laughed mischievously to himself as Logan opened the door and the thread connected to it went off and dropped a stack of books onto the demon's head.

Logan nearly dropped the tray he was carrying but managed to stay upright and shook it off "Now what was the reason for that?"

"Nothing! Not testing out booby traps in case I have to escape or anything"

"If you wish to leave you can but we won't protect you outside our house, though neither will we stop you"

"Oh please you're literally demons. I'm not putting any trust in you muppets"

"Understandable. I brought breakfast? Supper? Your sleep schedule has messed up the time of day…. I brought food"

He sat the tray down on the bed. It had some weird greenish puttering soup on it along with a huge bowl of rice and salad where all the carrots had been cut into heart shapes.

"It was Patton who made it" Logan added.

"Ah and I can see that he has most definitely eaten human food maybe even more than once" He snarked back.

Despite the dubious contents Janus still sat down to eat and Logan brought a chair over to sit near him "Do you wish to hear the rest of it now? The lack of information sharing in this situation is irking me. I believe that all of us having the same knowledge would be immeasurable important"

"Sureeee. I was becoming tired of only hearing Remus' screaming anyhow"

-

Scotland, 1645

Patton visited his human every Friday. He said it was a good thing Logan lived in a monastery because then if his manager noticed him visiting the same place repeatedly he could simply say he was seducing different people.

The human soon learned that Pat had never been taught how to read because succubi 'didn't have any use for it' so they spent a lot of time hunkered over books in Logan's bed. When they weren't making out or making love in that same bed. Patton thought he was the best teacher he could ever imagine and Logan thought the same about the succubi, just not a teacher in a subject that usually was taught in school.

A bit over a month after meeting Pat invited him along to a threesome with a succubi friend of his, obviously under the guise that this was the first time Logan had met either of them. While the other demon wasn't exactly a copy of Patton they were oddly similar in both their builds and facial features. He realized that all succubi were that insanely handsome.

But ironically enough it was when Logan got fucked by that demon he realized that while he enjoyed it he didn't enjoy it nearly as much as being with Pat. It struck him that being with Patton wasn't pleasant because he was a succubi, it was simply because he was his Patton.

Pat giving him a kiss gave him more butterflies than literally getting railed by the other demon. It was during that night Logan decided he wanted to leave the monastery.

The monastery had nothing left to give him. He had read all he wanted and translated everything they had let him. Despite there being countless texts untranslated, he knew they would forever forbid him from touching them due to their 'sinful' contents. During his more smug moments he got the urge to tell them he was with one of those demons they all feared and that he was most definitely going to Hell but he still had his time on earth and he wasn't going to let anyone stop him from studying whatever the hell he wanted during that precious time.

Besides Pat had told him he had never seen any of the humans in Hell but he swore once Logan died he would come and find him and protect him.

The two of them moved away from the sea where the wind was constantly cold and the plants rigid, and traveled closer to the mainland nearer the towns. Together they picked out a place in the woods far away enough that no one would question them but close enough that Logan could travel in to buy ink and food. The plague hadn't reached the town either. From all they had heard it seemed like the outbreak was contained to the central lowlands. The outbreak would probably disperse and disappear as it had done the other times.

Logan sketched up the architectural plans and calculated how much wood they would need while Patton hammered or sawed at whatever his lover told him to. For the first few weeks when their cottage was nothing but a stub Logan lived in a tent with his books and telescope.

Sometimes strangers, often travelers, would stumble upon them in the woods and Patton would always gladly invite them to rest and share their food with them around the campfire. He would listen to the humans tell stories and no matter how mundane or boring the stories seemed to Logan the succubi's eyes always lit up as he listened.

Logan wasn't all that excited about uninvited guests but if it made his lover happy he would accept it.

The demon was there as often as he could but often had to work at seducing other humans. Sometimes the thought aroused Logan but mostly it only made him miss his lover. The nights Patton could spend alongside him he laid his wings around him to keep him warm.

"Am I a curiosity to you?" The human whispered one night "Is my humanity the thing that intrigues you? Is it my mortality?"

"It's your beautiful brain Logie"

"Am I your first human?"

"You're my first lover I have wished to live with. There was others before yes but all of those I only visited every few years. I hoped that only seeing them sparsely would make it so my manager did not notice"

"I thought meeting humans more than once was against the rules"

"Love can never truly be against the rules, not in my heart at least"

Logan laid still for a while before asking "Will hell hurt?"

"I'll visit you"

"Have you visited your other humans who are in hell?"

"I....I've thought about it...but never gotten to it"

"Will it hurt?" He repeated.

"We don't have to think about that right now! You won't see Hell for many years honey"

A few months into the building project all that their home was missing was a roof which Patton was using his wings to work on. Just as Logan was about to yell for him to come down for a water break a stranger came into the wood clearing and gave him an innocent look.

The human groaned at the thought of having to make small talk but let the stranger come up to him "Oh woe me. I'm just a wee traveler who got lost. May I perhaps ask for a bed to rest in till the morning?" They asked.

"No. We only have one bed. At most you may sleep on the floor" He clled out for his lover "PAAAT! My partner will probably give you some food so don't annoy me anymore"

"What is it?" Pat asked as he walked towards them "OH! A Gue-" His expression dropped as soon as he laid eyes on the stranger.

It was the first time Logan had seen his lover angry and what a frightening sight it was. Pat went up to the stranger and grabbed a hold of their shirt. His body which always had seemed soft and welcoming to Logan suddenly became intimidating as the demon stretched himself to his full length and tensed his body enough that his muscles became fully visible as he moved.

"LEAVE!" Pat shouted right into the stranger's face. The only time he had raised his voice before was when he had erupted into laughter.

"I'm just passing through" They quietly replied.

"YOU WILL LEAVE AND YOU WILL NEVER RETURN AND YOU WILL NEVER LAY YOUR EYES ON THAT HUMAN EVER AGAIN! HE HAS ALREADY SINNED! THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU HERE! YOU CAN GO! GO! LEAVE!"

The stranger let their friendly mask falter and glared at the demon "Why are you here then?"

"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK A WORD OF THIS OR ELSE YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS PLACE AT ALL! NOW GO!"

Pat pushed the stranger away and stared daggers into them as they rushed to disappear among the trees. Logan laid his arms around his lover's shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of his head when he noticed his chest heaving up and down.

"Did you know them?"

Instead of answering Pat started to sob. It was an ugly sort of sobbing with snot running from his nose and his throat straining to breathe. He fell down on his knees and wallowed in the tears. Logan stayed beside him until he was able to muster up the strenght to whisper

"That- That was a Guardian Angel" Just saying it made Pat sob even harder.

"Is....is it bad that they saw you? Is it bad that they saw us together? Are you in danger?"

He shook his head "no. no. I'm not the one in danger. Guardian- Guardian Angel's they- they come to humans who- who are- they make sure the human hasn't sinned because because the human is- is soon going to die"

Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I thought we would have at least 60 years together. This is too fast this isn't enough time! I should have been more careful! I should have shielded you from harm's way!"

"They cant know that. I'm not even ill. Why would I die now. This can't be real. This can't be"

That evening Logan got a fever so severe that he passed out in his lover's arms. The day after painful nodes swelled up in dark bruised patches on his skin.

It was the plauge, and they both knew no one survived the plauge for longer than a week.

-

Scotland, 2024

"Hold up" Janus interrupted "You got the bloody plauge? As in the black plague? The bird mask one? The one they buried kids alive because of?"

"Yes"

Janus couldn't help his curosity "....Did it hurt?"

"Yes. The pain was not the worst part of it though. I loathed the powerlessness. I felt pieces of my body giving out hour after hour. Losing the ability to care for myself was humiliating. Not to even speak of being in too much pain to use my brain. I have always been proud of my intelligence so being in such a state as to not even be able to form words properly hurt deeply"

The human nodded along "I know that feeling. I spent so long in the hospital after the accident I had to relearn what existing in the outside world was like- I was in a car crash as a kid. That's why I look" He motioned to his scars "Like this"

Logan's eyebrow raised slightly but he didn't let his expression change in any other way "An accident huh?"

"Yeah, the doctors said it was a medical miracle I even survived. By all logic I should have died and in the slim chance I survived I should have been paralyzed almost completely" He wiggled his fingers "But clearly I'm not"

"I am sorry to hear that…" He chose his words carefully "Was anyone there to support you?"

"Uhhh the foster system is honestly shit. Absolute rubbish. But I did meet Virgil. He's my roommate nowadays. We've stuck together like parasites"

Logan took a deep breath "I see. I see" He stood up and Janus noticed that his hands had clutched into fists "Would you give me a moment"

The demon opened the window and summoned his wings just to descend to the garden below. Janus watched as he stopped Remus in his tracks by grabbing him by the bottom of his tail and heaving him up into the air.

"Were you aware that Janus had been saved by a Guardian Angel!?" His voice was barely being contained below a shout.

Sweatdroplets ran down Remus' forehead "...I promised The angel I wouldn't tell anyone"

"And this Angel is that Virgil roomate I assume!?"

Remus didn't respond.

"IS IT?"

He nodded.

Logan let go off him to instead rub the bridge of his nose "You idiot! If you had told me from the start we could have figured out how to help your dear human immediately!"

"Honey?" Patton had come out of the house "What's going on?"

"This dumbass has been hiding the reason for why Management wants Janus dead! Janus was supposed to die YEARS ago but his Guardian Angel saved him! He must have cheated death a hundred times by now!"

Patton covered his mouth with his hands "Oh dear.."

"Why does the manager shitheads care for when he dies!?" Remus exclaimed.

"Because he's spent his entire life being intertwined with a supernatural being! There is no way he is simply going to disapear like a normal human when he dies! He's going to turn into one of us! Or something similar! Hell wanted you to seduce him so he would become a demon when he died! So he would be on Hell's side!" Logan let out an annoyed groan "You've put us all in danger do you not realize that!?"

Remus shriveled in on himself.

"You've practically brought an Angel to our home. He's probably on his way to us right now! And you didn't tell us!"

Patton brought his arm around his husband and whispered for him to take deep breathes before he started throwing stuff at Remus.

"Kiddo we don't usually involve ourself in supernatural matters anymore. We just want a quiet life. We only helped you because you were so close by that we couldn't ignore it. You should have told us!"

"I don't think that Angel wimp is gonna do much" Remus mumbled back.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about!?" Janus yelled. He had run out onto the poarch "What the hell are you saying about Virgil!?"

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 7: We Did It!

Prev - We Did It - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

And so our story ends. But first, we see what happened in the middle of the night after Patton fell asleep in Logan's room.

Rated: G - WC: 4283 - CW: mentions of blood, peril. A twinge of Remus at the end. Written for the Sleepy Bean Café for @always-anais -

Patton dreamt of the sea. Just like from Treasure Island or maybe even Treasure Planet, too, he dreamt of salty air, of the gentle rocking of a ship. He imagined himself nestled in a warm, soft hammock, swaying side to side, carrying him across the stars as he slept.

He opened his eyes, the stars outside Logan's window bright and twinkling and close enough to touch. Well, the stars weren't that close, but the window was. Patton's fingers grazed cold, hard glass and he blinked, the rest of his senses slowly catching up.

It wasn't only in his dream that he floated, swaying gently. Logan's ceiling was inches from his head, the window not much further away. High above the floor, Patton was aloft, less than an arm's length from the ceiling and the wall. The bed beneath him had risen up and was tucked into the corner of the room furthest from the door.

No, not the bed. Something kept him high in the air. Something warm and firm and—

It was only then he heard Logan's hitched breath.

"Logan?" he murmured, turning in the not-bed. Surrounded on two sides by the ceiling and the window, it was hard to move, hard to see. The not-bed beneath him almost looked like… "Logan?" he called, panic gripping his chest. "Logan, where are you?"

"I'm here." Though only a whisper, Logan's voice boomed, buzzing through the walls and the soft surface holding him up. "Try not to thrash. I—I promise you're safe," he added, voice cracking. "I won't hurt you—I won't—"

Suddenly the ceiling drew closer as he was lifted higher and Logan let out a shuddering sob, muffled like he hid behind his hands or…

Patton shifted with the movement, laying flat as he was squished into a tighter spot. He came face to face with the not-bed holding him up. Starlight streamed over his shoulder, shining over a wrinkle in the surface. A familiar wrinkle.

He reached out and stroked it. Warm and soft. Skin.

"Logan?" Patton whispered, already knowing the answer, no matter how impossible it was. Was it really so impossible? A year ago he'd been a frog. "Logan, is this you?"

Another sob and the surface, the hand, Logan's hand beneath him shuddered. "I'm sorry," Logan choked. "I—I—I can't control it, I—" The ceiling rushed up to meet him and Logan's fingers formed a cage around him, nails digging into the paint and plaster. "I won't let you get hurt, Patton. I—" One of Logan's nails cracked, blood welling as he fought his own movement to keep Patton from being smashed against the ceiling. "I—I—I can't—"

"Hold on, Logie," Patton murmured, stroking Logan's hand even as his own voice shook. They had to get out of there. There had to be somewhere big enough, somewhere Logan would fit no matter how big he grew. "I have an idea!"

Eyes screwed shut, Patton found the memory of an old story Thomas' parents read to him as a child. "'Once up on a time there was a Giant.'" he started in a rush. Logan's hand trembled around him and plaster crumbled over his head. "'The Giant squeezed Jack and said, "Tell me a better story or I will grind your bones to make my bread."'"

Logan gasped and the ceiling disappeared. Patton opened his eyes. Crayola green and brown trees surrounded them. Stretched overhead were fluffy white clouds drawn over a light blue sky. The sun shone in the distant, a big yellow disk with squiggly long and short lines spiraling out of it like a flower.

"Where…" Logan's voice rolled over the swooping hills beyond the trees, also drawn with the same jagged green crayon. "Where are we?"

"The Imagination. Well, the memory of Thomas' imagination when he listened to a story about a giant. I thought…" He started to sit up then caught sight of just how high up he was and thought better of it, clinging to Logan's hand. "I thought it would be a place with room for you while you're…"

"A giant that will grind your bones to make my bread?" Logan finished, voice choked. In the bright light of a child's picture of a sun, Patton watched Logan's hand grow even larger.

"No!" Patton insisted. Shaking, he pushed up to his feet and wrapped both arms around Logan's thumb, hugging what part of him he could. "No, you promised you wouldn't hurt me and I know you won't. Logie, you were getting hurt!" he said, touching just below the sticky blood dripping down from his wounds.

"It's… it's nothing important," Logan finally said. "I… I should put you down. Just… Please… I… I'm sorry."

The crooked green line of the ground grew closer and Logan set him down before turning, bare back curled as he hugged impossibly long legs to his chest. He hid his face between his knees, but he couldn't hide the stuttered sobs that seeped out or the puddles of tears collecting in the dips of the ground around them.

"Logie?" Patton began, stepping closer. Giant goosebumps dotted Logan's flesh and he shivered when Patton touched his back. "Are you cold?"

"It's not important. I… If you can tell me how to return after I change back, you can go now," he said, breath stuttering with a stifled sob. "I—I just need—"

Patton closed his eyes again, this time recalling a far more recent memory, but hopefully one that might do something to help. After a few moments, something soft thudded onto the ground next to them and he peeked.

"Here," he said, lifting up one end of the massive striped scarf coiled on the ground.

Far, far larger than the prop was in real life, the giant-sized version of the Fourth Doctor's scarf was also softer than it was in real life, as soft as Thomas had imagined it might be the first time he'd seen it. Far warmer, too, than the acrylic blend the real prop likely was. "This might help," he said, grinning when Logan took the scarf and stretched it over his shoulders.

Grabbing the thick knit with both hands, Patton picked up one end and walked around Logan's form, winding it around him. After he finished with one end, he took the other, giving Logan what protection he could.

When he was done, he craned his neck to look up at Logan. He peeked from over the tops of his knees, eyes wet but no longer actively crying. "You… That was not necessary," he said, a bit of his old voice coming through. "But thank you."

Patton sat on the ground next to his foot and leaned against his ankle. "Of course it was necessary, Logan. You were cold."

The ground shook beneath them and Logan grew just a bit larger. Burying his face between his knees again, Logan mumbled. "I… I won't be able to get back to normal if you say things like that. I'll—" He shuddered and grew again, the scarf stretching around him.

"Logan? I'm really sorry." Patton stood and rubbed a bared spot of skin just above his ankle bone. "What did I say wrong? How… Do you know what causes this?"

"It's not—" Logan shuddered and held his breath, tapping one giant finger the way Virgil did during a panic attack. He slowly exhaled and repeated the process. The next he spoke, his voice was calmer. Flat. “It is not your fault or concern, Patton. I simply need to better manage my… myself when—” His voice caught, and he trembled again, fighting something Patton couldn’t see.

Patton couldn’t see it. But here, outside of Logan’s room, he could feel it. Feel them.

“Do you mean when you feel things?”

Hands clawed into the scarf and his skin beneath, Logan froze. He wasn’t even breathing.

“That’s what’s causing this, isn’t it?” Patton asked carefully. “I can feel how scared you are. When you feel scared, you grow?”

“When I feel anything I grow!” Logan shouted, voice thundering across the sky. “Don’t you see? I can’t feel anything!” The trees and the ground shook, the stitches in the scarf pulling and snapping as he stretched up in to the sky. The scarf fell in tatters at his feet so Patton let go of the memory, letting them disappear. Logan’s tears pounded the ground, and Patton dodged the splashes.

With nothing for the tears to soak into—four year olds don’t understand ground water—Logan’s tears pooled, rising quickly to Patton’s shins. He jumped onto Logan’s foot to stay out of the deluge. He cupped both hands around his mouth and shouted up at him. “Logan, of course you can feel things. You do feel things! All the time! It’s totally normal! There’s nothing wro—” He squeaked when Logan stepped and he lost his footing.

Luckily, Logan felt him fall and bent to scoop him up. Cradling him in enormous hands, he brought him up to eye level. “This? You call this normal?” he cried, looking down at Patton through huge bloodshot eyes.

Kneeling on his palm, Patton stroked his skin, massaging the shaking muscles beneath him. Just like Logan had done for him. “I call you normal,” he said.

A valley deeper than Patton was tall grew between Logan’s eyebrows as he frowned back. But he listened.

“I went all frog-hulk because I wouldn’t let my real feelings out so we could talk about what I really meant,” he said. “And what I’d done,” he added, meeting Logan’s eyes. “Maybe…” Patton swallowed hard. If he said the wrong thing, if he was wrong about what was causing this and he made Logan grow any larger, he would slip right between his fingers. If he was wrong, he might break this fragile thing between them, like the yarn in the scarf.

~

Unclothed, stranded in some strange corner of the Imagination, standing in pools of his own disgusting tears, Logan could not imagine being more bared, more, well, naked.

Until Patton looked right at him and spoke his secret.

“D’you mean when you feel things?”

I don’t feel anything.

Already lost to the sea of emotion churning in his chest, Logan exploded, rising up larger than he’d ever experienced. The giant trees that had once loomed over them shrank down to green pinpricks, the crudely drawn sun far below. His tears rained downs, each drop enormous as his lacrimal glands grew with him.

"… It's totally normal! There's nothing wron—" Poor Patton, out of guilt or optimism, stubbornly clung to him in thought and body, to this monster he'd become, this mass of uncontrolled feeling. Animated, and probably afraid, he slipped and plunged into the flood below. Gathering just enough of his faculties to protect him, Logan retrieved him from the salty waters at his feet.

"Normal?" he asked, holding him aloft. Without his glasses, Logan could barely make out Patton's bright shining eyes, filled with hope and something soft and warm that…

Logan shook his head. "You call this normal?"

Steady and sure and far more confident than he should be a hundred feet in the air, Patton stroked his palm. "I call you normal."

He let Patton's words wash over him, his reminder that it wasn't so long ago when, in a moment of emotional overwhelm, it had been Patton who'd burst out of his clothes and attacked Thomas and Janus.

"Maybe…" Patton began, a fearful quaver in his voice. Had he looked down? Did he see how far up he was?

Logan fought to steady his trembling hands, a wordless promise to never let him fall.

Patton rose to his feet and stumbled forward, catching himself with both arms wrapped around Logan's thumb. His hands couldn't meet around its circumference. “Maybe you’re growing so big because your feelings don’t have anywhere else to go.”

I don't feel anything.

The lie soured in his own mind, the watery evidence of his emotion gathered at his feet, eyes burning as he choked on everything he couldn't say.

"You should go," he said instead. "I'll find my way back."

"I'm not leaving you like this." Patton shook his head and tightened his grip. "Talk to me, Logan. Tell me… what are you feeling?"

I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel—

He felt everything.

He felt Patton's warmth in his hand, the tickle of soft hair against his skin. The wetness of Patton's tears joining his own. He felt a tremor as his own twitching muscles threatened to knock Patton off his feet.

Logan had never before grown so large and he didn't actually know how he would get back to his normal size. But even as he feared his ludicrous size might harm Patton, that he might grow so gigantic he would lose him, he felt safer with him there.

"I'm scared," Logan finally said.

Warm, wet cheek pressed to his skin, he felt Patton nod. "It's okay to feel scared. I feel scared, too."

"What I feel is illogical." The words spilled out in a whisper. "I'm afraid you'll leave but I'm afraid I will hurt you if you stay."

Patton stared back at him. Was he smiling? "You won't hurt me."

Tears shone in Patton's eyes as he begged him to stop complaining about his nostalgia.

"But I have." Logan found clarity in the contradiction. The very clear memories of each failure to say the right thing. Each instance of saying precisely the worst possible thing and watching Patton's expression shatter. "Many, many times."

Stretching one hand high above his head, Patton touched just below a bit of dried blood on Logan's hand. "You hurt yourself trying to protect me tonight," he said simply. He hung his head then but clung tighter to Logan's thumb. "And I've hurt you. I care for you so much but still I hurt you, too."

'I care for you…'

Logan held his breath, parsing Patton's words. No. No, as much as Patton was their Heart, as much as he held the lion's share of their emotional intelligence, he was imprecise with his language. Patton did not truly mean what that sounded like.

"Yes, you do care about all of us and you—"

"No, Logan," Patton interrupted, voice fierce. He trembled in Logan's hand but held tight. "I care for you. I… love love you."

The ground fell away as Logan shot up higher. The crayon sun but a speck far, far below, Logan teetered on the edge of green, just big enough for the balls of his feet. He cupped his hands, encasing the warm, feather-light weight of Patton's relatively shrinking form. If he fell… if he fell, Patton would still be safe.

"Logie, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay!" Patton was calling up to him, his muffled voice so small, he could barely hear him over his own ragged breathing. "You don't have to—"

"But I do, as well," he whispered. Patton grew in his hands and his feet steadied on the sopping green line beneath him. "I… I f—feel the same," he pushed the words from his lips.

As tall as Logan's fingers now, Patton poked through the gap between his thumb and index finger. "Say that again," he called up to him, almost giddy. "Say what you feel!"

"I—I'm afraid to," he stammered. The wet green stripe below them grew closer, once again recognizably the ground. "What if—what if it's wrong?"

Patton kissed him then. His knuckle, at least. Gentle and warm, Patton's breath tickled against his skin. "Feelings aren't wrong!" He kissed him again, and pressed his cheek against the pad of Logan's thumb. "Your feelings aren't wrong."

He was close to the same size he'd been when he'd first brought them to this odd corner of the Imagination. Patton looked around them, smiling. "Your feelings just want to come out. And I want to hear them. Please? Keep going!"

None of this made logical sense. If his feelings were what had transformed him, how could his feelings restore him? The only thing that had helped in the past was finding that silence, that calm, that—

"No, Logan! No!" Patton was shaking him, panic in his voice.

Eyes shut, he'd dropped to his knees, some fortunate instinct keeping Patton aloft and safe. The familiar, cold quiet had begun to wrap itself around his chest, letting him breath without pain, to move without the noise of his thoughts longing for…

"You're going numb!"

Logan opened his eyes. A smile cracked through the worry in Patton's face and he nodded. "Good, good! You're back!" He stopped shaking his hand and pulled Logan's fingers closer, hugging them to his body. "Keep talking!"

A sob fought its way past his seized throat. "I never—" Patton stroked his hand, full attention on him. "I never thought you'd say that to me. It…"

Nodding, Patton stayed silent. Listening.

"It… it hurts when you don't listen to me."

Tiny tears glistened in Patton's eyes, spilling over his cheeks. Holding him steady with one hand, Logan used his pinkie to dab at his face. "I've made you cry," he murmured, his own tears growing heavier.

"We're both crying," Patton said, reaching for him. Logan needed to hold Patton properly now to keep him out of the waters below. He was much larger now, almost the size of Logan's head, and growing. When had that happened?

Patton curled against his chest, upper body tucked under his chin as he circled his neck with both arms. "I'm so sorry, Logan," he whispered near his ear. "I'm so, so sorry. I want to do better."

"As do I," Logan whispered. Patton filled his arms, hugging him back. They sat together in the pool Logan's giant tears had left behind.

Patton had been right. Logan was only slightly larger than him now. Words wouldn't come and there was still so much more to say. So he let his body speak for him. Eyes shut and face buried in his hair, he held Patton tight, relishing the brush of Patton's kisses against his shoulder, his temple.

Eventually, the ground beneath them dried and grew warmer, softer. Logan opened his eyes. They were in his room, sitting on his bed, well, his mattress. The frame had shattered when Logan had woken to Patton sleeping in his arms and suddenly tripled in height. Jagged gouges remained in the corner of his ceiling, the edges stained a rusty red. Plaster dusted the floor beneath.

His eyeglasses had fallen when he'd knocked over the nightstand, his sleep clothes lay in tatters on the floor.

Leaving Logan very, very naked.

"I—" He cleared his throat and—reluctantly—pulled away. "I—I must dress," he said, rushing to his dresser and pulling out the first clothes his hands touched. He yanked on a thick pair of flannel pants and poked his head through his favorite NASA shirt before he dared look back at Patton on the bed.

He wasn't there. A cold rock settled in the center of his chest and he turned to fetch the small dustpan he kept in the en suite.

"I found your glasses." Patton's voice was at his elbow. Logan looked and Patton was right there, frames held up in offering. "I can help you with your room, too. It's still late, I bet we can finish before morning."

His shirt grew tighter and his eyeglasses pinched the sides of his head. "I thought—" Patton smiled up at him and gave him a little nod. "I—I feared you'd left."

As his frames lost their uncomfortable tightness, Patton took his hand. "I'm not going anywhere." His grin wavered. "I mean, unless you need me to?"

Patton's hand was warm in his and, after a long moment, Logan threaded their fingers together. Patton was smiling, but shadows framed his eyes and Logan's own limbs ached with fatigue and the stretch of his growth. "Perhaps we should rest now and address the repairs in the morning." He looked around his room. The recovery from his incidents could be draining. But as Patton squeezed his hand, he suspected this time it would—potentially—be a little more manageable.

"We could sleep in my room." Patton's eyebrows arched, a pure, joyful smile brightening his face.

Logan was surprised to feel a matching smile stretch across his own. "I would like that very much."

Epilogue

"Patton, stop!"

This was meant to be a nice day.

They'd been to the library, they'd—finally—started watching Spanning Time and Space, they'd even shared a few bites of his favorite non-Crofter's based snack. But now?

Temples throbbing and collar growing dangerously tight, Logan took several slow deep breaths before speaking. He'd already split the knees of his jeans and now balanced on a knife's between blowing up in the middle of the Mindscape dining room or locking himself in his room and, well, blowing up.

"Patton, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but—"

"I—" To his credit, Patton clamped his jaw shut after the single word slipped out. He sat down across from him and nodded with a little 'go on' gesture.

"Thank you." Logan slipped two fingers between his neck and his necktie, willing a bit more space to breathe. "I appreciate what you are trying to do, but we are jumping too quickly from place to place. This breakneck pace is too—" He blew out a short breath as a seam near his ankle popped. "When I do not have more time for each… selection, I… feel rushed and cannot relax."

"Oh." Patton's lower lip trembled as he fought to regain his smile. Shoulders slumped, he looked down at the note cards in his hands. The note cards onto which he'd, rather diligently, collected each and every small treat or excursion Logan had mentioned over the past three months. Logan began to rise from his seat, ready to retract his statement, to tell him to disregard, that he was fine.

Surely Logan could keep himself together long enough to finish Patton's list. He would cope with the consequences later.

~

"Patton, stop!"

Patton froze, cards clutched so tight they started to wrinkle. He finally looked at Logan, really looked at him.

He sat tall in his chair, much too tall. The skin beneath his collar pinched, straining against the now too-small polo. His eyeglasses bowed out, frames dangerously close to snapping against his suddenly wider head.

Stopping everything, Patton sat down across from him, eyes wide. Certain if he spoke again he'd fill the space with apologies or more ideas, he pressed his lips together and nodded, showing Logan he was listening.

His heart fluttered when Logan caught himself giving a numb recap of their day and instead told him what he was feeling. It worked, too. As soon as he spoke the words, his glasses eased back against his face and his voice sounded less choked.

"Oh…" Patton had been so sure about this surprise. To be honest, he'd first noticed the videos on TikTok because the first one reminded him of Logan whipping out a blank card to jot down the latest new word he'd heard. Watching more of the challenge had gotten him thinking that it could be a good way to show Logan he was listening. Logan had a lot of ideas and it wasn't easy figuring out how to fit them all in to one day and…

It sure wasn't working out the way he'd planned.

"Well," Patton began. If this wasn't something Logan wanted, then he could— "Wait!" He'd done all this to show Logan he was listening to him so, what if… All he needed was a pen. "I have an idea! I'll be right back!"

Already on his feet, Patton dashed off to the kitchen. Pens were easy to find, tucked away in the little drawer dividers Logan had suggested. Forcing himself to write slowly, he carefully copied out his idea on two cards and raced back. "One more try?" he asked, offering the cards for Logan to choose. He gave Logan his brightest smile and hoped.

Face stone, Logan avoided his eyes as he plucked a card from his hand. He was already shutting down. This had to work. Patton held his breath and waited for him to read what he'd written on both cards he'd offered.

I love love you. Let's redo today and I'll chill out this time. -P

Logan had the tiniest start of a smile when he looked up at him. He nodded.

Patton grinned and slid his chair closer. "Back to the library?" he asked, offering his hand. "We'll take our time—or… or do anything you want. For as long as you want."

Logan laced their fingers together and brought his hand up for a kiss. "That would make me very happy," he whispered before leaning in to brush another kiss against his lips. "Thank you, Patton. I love love you, too."

Kissing back, he giggled and pulled him into a hug. Logan melted against him, relaxed and happy and just the right size. "I did it!" he whispered, cheeks warming when he realized he'd spoken aloud.

Logan chuckled, nodding against his shoulder. "You certainly did."

"No, Logie," Patton shook his head and, keeping his arms looped over Logan's shoulders, pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. "We did it."

~

Author's Note: When Logan suggested this particular escapade for a video, they cut the romantic Logicality aspect from the final script but kept the tear in Logan's jeans, even if no-one else understood how it had happened. Virgil said the rip had made him look less uptight. Remus said he'd spent too much time on his knees and should give Patton a turn.

Janus just smiled knowingly and washed out more of the 'fake' blood from Remus' hair.

[enbypossum]

🩶A little family 🩶🖤

In which Elliott learns to trust someone and becomes part of a family, Pt 1

Summary:Elliott doesn't have many reliable friends. Their parents don't provide any support, and their boyfriend isn't really the supportive type either.

Emile thinks He can help Elliott, and plans on doing so no matter what the cost.

Virgil knows he should tell his boyfriend Logan about his age regression, but he'd hate to ruin something good.-

They just need someone to rely on when things become too hard to handle. But how do you trust someone enough to get there?

-Part 1 of "A little family" series.~There is mentions of violence but nothing severe.~

Non sexual. This is an Age regression story, if that ain't your jam, don't bother reading this.

Notes/info:

Pronouns and last names:

~Emile Picani: He/Him

~Elliott Stokes: They/them

~Remy Andreas: They/Them

~Patton Heart: He/him

~Logan Berry: He/him

~Virgil Casey: him/they

~Roman Prince: He/him

~Remus Duke: He/it

Janus Akesnay: He/they

~Dice Andreas/ He/they-

Siblings:

-Roman and Remus are twin brothers.

-Emile, Remy, and dice are Step-siblings

-Remy and Dice are biological siblings.

-A/N: TW: Trust issues, crying, panic attacks, mention of abuse, secret keeping, lying, blood and stitches mentioned, and implied past trauma regarding hospitals.

More notes

🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶

~~~Emile~~~

Emile, Remus, and Remy were getting ready for their groups' movie night.

They all had busy schedules, but at least once every month they took the time to plan a movie or game night or something of that sort to be sure they still took time for their friends.

It was nice, they created a little family dynamic with their group of caregivers and littles, it's the kind of family Emile has always wanted. And he still can't believe he has it. 

"So, when are the others showing up?" Remy asked, not looking up from their phone.

"Specifically, Patton?" Emile asks, teasingly.

"No, I'm just like- super interested in whatever stupid movie we're watching, and I don't want to waste any time." Remy says, voice obviously Insincere and riddled with sarcasm. 

Emile smirked. “Right, and what movie are we watching again?"

"You picked it… so I'm guessing some type of cartoon?” Remy scoffs.

Emile rolls his eyes. "Ah yes, your enthusiasm is contagious as always, Remy.” 

Emile and Remy are step siblings. Though they didn't start out being very close. 

When their parents got married Emile was seventeen, Dice was eighteen And Remy was only sixteen. Remy and Emile didn't even really connect until college after learning about each other's age regression. That's also how they met Virgil, Patton, Remus, and Roman. They had an online support group for the longest time until finally Patton and Virgil moved closer to the city. Unfortunately, it was still hard keeping the group together sometimes. Especially when it comes to work and other relationships. 

It was especially hard for those who needed human interaction but won't make it happen for themselves due to severe social and generalized anxiety. Not mentioning any names of course. (Virgil)

"It's ok that you miss Patton," Remus says, "we won't make fun of you...that much."

Emile snickers. “You totally like him." He teases.

"Ugh, shut up," Remy laughs, throwing a pillow at their brother.

"How have you two been doing by the way?" Remus asks, "him living as far as he does, I'd imagine that must be hard on you."

"Not really," Remy shrugs. "I mean, we both have our own lives."

"It's always good to have some independence.” Emile says. “Commitment is important too though.” 

Remus grabs his arm carefully to remind him not to try and fix Remy's relationship. Emile is a therapist and had a bad habit of trying to help people without them asking for it. Remus has been helping him remember the difference between work life and home life. It's a hard balance sometimes, especially when it's someone he truly cares about.

“Patton and I talk, okay? I'm not neglecting him if that's what you think.” 

“I didn't mean it like that.” Emile says. “I'm sorry, I pushed. I didn't mean to.” 

Remy turns back to their phone, ignoring Emile. 

Remus decided now was a great time for a subject change. "So, Roman said he might be a little late."

Emile hummed, "I just texted Virgil a bit ago, he said they were having a rough day, so they'll be a little late too."

"That guy seriously needs a therapist," Remy says.

Emile eyed them. “Look who's talking."

Remy scoffs. “I live with you, of course I need a therapist.”

Emile chuckles. 

Remus smirked, "I'll bet Logan could convince Virgil to go. Those two are inseparable these days."

Remy rolls their eyes. "I don't understand why he hasn't already. The guy is a nervous wreck all the time."

"Now, Rem. Their relationship is still new." Emile says. "Besides, you don't even know Logan.” 

"Yeah, get to know him before you insult his boyfriend-ing skills," Remus says.

"I'm just saying," Remy mumbles.

"It is not Logan's job to make sure Virgil is taking care of himself." Emile defends.

"No, but-"

Emile interrupts, "Listen, I know you still care about Virgil. But he's an adult. He's perfectly capable of making his own decisions.” 

"We're talking about Virgil here." Remy argues. 

“Maybe Logan has already tried, Virgil doesn't really handle pressure well, and remember not everyone can afford therapy either.” Emile says. 

Emile suddenly got a phone call. He was about to just turn it off but then saw who it was and knew it had to be important.

Remy sighed, "I'm gonna text Pat again and see what's keeping his ass."

"You mean other than you?" Remus asks.

Emile shushed them as he answered the phone, "Elliott? What's going on? Is everything alright?” 

"Oh my god, a human being, finally! I need some help."

"What happened?"

"I Uh- I was with some...friends I guess you could call them, I mean- I only met them a few times...that doesn't really make them friends, does it?I wouldn't think so. Anyway, we got into a fight, I didn't fight, but they did- I'm sorry I'm rambling. I'm just really scared right now."

"Where are you?" Emile asked.

"Who is it?" Remus asked.

"It's Elliott." He answers.

"Who dat?" Remy asks Remus. 

"One of his patients." Remus explained, sounding annoyed. "Why do they have your cell phone number?"

"They're my patient, Remus. They have to have my number." Emile explained, annoyed.

"You haven't even seen them in six months. Are they even your patient anymore?"

"Is there an expiration date or something?" Remy asked, laughing.

"My patients don't have my cell phone number," Remus says.

"Hello? Dr Picani? Are you still there?" Elliott asked. "I just-"

Emile shushed His sibling and boyfriend again and walked over to the other side of the room to be sure he'd be able to actually hear Elliott.

"I need someone to come get me, I think my leg is broken or maybe it's just sprained and I'm just being a baby about it? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have called you, this might be inappropriate. Is it inappropriate? It's inappropriate, isn't it? I'm so sor-"

"No, Elliott. You're perfectly fine. But why didn't you just call an ambulance or something?" Emile asked, voice was serious, but he was still calm.

Elliott sighs. "I can't. I rode in an ambulance once. It wasn't a good experience for me. Doctors tend to freak me out, they're just so creepy. I'm sorry, I just can't do this alone-" Elliott was clearly crying, "I can't handle them alone, it's not like that with you though, you're fine! I just mean doctor doctors. Not that you're not a doctor- I'm just-"

"It's ok, it's alright. Where are you? We can pick you up." Emile grabbed his coat and attempted to put it on while holding the phone between his ear and shoulder.

That got Remy and Remus's attention. They got closer but remained respectfully quiet, realizing this might actually be important and they should probably listen in.

"I'm in an alley near a club called uh...it's the bear something or the something bear...damn it."

"The twisted griz?" Remus asked, taking the phone from Emile.

"Hey-"Emile protested, but he was kinda happy that he could now put on his coat properly.

"Uh, yeah. That's it. Who-"

"I know the place," Remus says to Emile.

Emile took the phone back. “Alright, Elliott, we're on our way now, just stay calm. Would it be better if someone stayed on the phone with you?"

"Uhm. Yes, honestly it probably would. But don't. My phone is about to die so..."

"Alright, just stay calm. Take deep breaths, we'll be there soon."

"Thanks..."

Emile hung up. "I have to take them to a hospital."

Remy and Remus nodded. "We'll come with you just in case you need an extra set of hands," Remy explains. "And by that, I mean that Remus will help you."

"Thanks, I might need it," Emile said.

"Yes, thank you Remy for volunteering for me." Remus scoffed. "That was so generous."

"You drive," Remy tosses the keys to Remus, ignoring his sarcastic comments.

~~~Remy~~~

They found Elliott almost immediately.

They were all alone, eyes weary and full of tears as blood dripped down their face. Clearly, they were very scared and in a lot of pain.

Their face turn bright red once they all got out of the car to help. "Elliott, are you ok?" Emile asked softly.

"I'm fine, I'm really really sorry about this I-" They grunt in pain. 

"Don't apologize, it's perfectly fine." Emile turns to Remus who was already examining Elliott's leg. "This is my boyfriend, Remus. He's a doctor-doctor."

"He didn't hear what I said about doctors, did he?" Elliott asked, nervous.

"What did you say about doctors? "Remus asked, amused.

"They said you guys are creepy." Emile says. 

Remus chuckled. “Well, you're not wrong.” 

Elliott smirked at that.

Remus grabbed his flashlight and took a look at Elliott's head.

"Are they ok?" Emile asked.

"Yeah, but this puppy is broken," Remus says pointing to their leg. "They probably have a concussion, and definitely need some stitches."

Elliott sighs in agony. “Stitches, are you sure?"

"It's ok." Remus interrupts. "I'm gonna call an ambulance." He pulled out his phone to call, but just as he started to dial, Elliott started to breath heavily and shouted "Wait, stop!"

"Why?" Remus asked. “What's wrong?"

"Are you sure we need that?" Elliott asked, sounding out of breath. “You sure I need-" they were panicking, breathing faster and faster.

"Deep breaths, Elliott." Emile says calmly. "Everything is going to be ok."

"I can't ride in an ambulance, Picani. I can't. I'd rather my leg fall off on its own!" They cried.

"Okay, well. We're not going to let that happen." Remus says. “But we will drive you if that's better."

They nod. "Okay."

"Alright. So, Elliott. We need to get you to the car. So, we're going to have to carry you. Is that alright?" Emile asked.

Elliott's breath was still very fast, and their face was still very red, but they nodded. They're embarrassed and they just wanted this whole thing to be over.

"Alright. Can you help me lift them, Remus?"

Remus nodded. He grabs one side of Elliot while Emile grabbed the other. Taking their hand first and throwing their arms around each of their necks. Then they grab each of their legs and carefully lifted them of the ground.

Remy watched them struggle from a safe distance (They were always more of a supervisor anyway) until their phone started ringing "Sup' slut? Oh, hey Virge! What's up, girl?"

“Hey, Rem. Where the hell are you guys? It's freezing out here.” 

Remus reminded. “Move their leg as little as possible. We don't want it to get worse than it is."

"Oh, we're just kidnapping another non-binary. Typical Friday night stuff. What are you doing?" Remy asked. 

“Standing outside your house, freezing. Waiting for someone to open the door.” Virgil says. 

“Fun.” Remy says. “Well, we're not there so…movie night is kinda canceled.” 

“What?” 

"Just set them in the passenger's seat." Emile says as they try to get Elliott in the car.

Remy hummed. "Uhm, there might be a spare key in the froggy flowerpot thingy."

“The what?” Virgil asks. 

“Froggy flowerpot thingy!” Remy says louder. 

“Ow!” Elliott shouts. 

“Sorry.” Remus says. 

"Seatbelt." Emile reminds. "I'll drive."

“It's not there.” Virgil says.

Remy rolled their eyes, "What do you mean it's not there?” 

“It's not there!” 

“Well, I don't have time to help you find it, Virgie. I'm too busy being a good person.” 

“Logan and I drove thirty minutes for this, it better be an emergency.” Virgil says. 

Elliott grunted. "I'm so sor-"

"Don't you dare apologize." Remus interrupts. He's not accepting any apologies, because they didn't need to give him one.

“It is!” Remy says. 

“Is anyone hurt?” 

“Mhm.” Remy responds. 

“Well, what can we do?” Virgil asks. 

"I don't know, smash a window, go sleep with Logan, dig a hole to China, the possibilities are unlimited." Remy says.

“That's not what I-” Virgil sighs. “Put Emile on the phone.” Virgil demands. 

"Remy?" Emile called.

"Gotta go, Virge. Good luck!" They hung up quickly and jumped into the backseat.

"Emergency room field trip, fun." Remus jokes.

"I'll let everyone know we can't do it tonight." Remy says. "Where is our spare key by the way?"

"I gave it to Roman. Why?" Remus asks.

Remy nodded, "Virgil might break a window to get in our house.”

“What?!” Emile asks. 

“You know how cold he gets! Virgil is an endangered species!” Remy says. 

"Shit. Did I interrupt something important?" Elliott asks, "I'm so so sor-"

"If I have to hear one more apology, Elliott." Remus warned.

"Ok, ok. Thank you." They say instead. 

"That's better." Remus says.

"It's going to be ok, Elliott." Emile smiles, "we'll be there soon."

~~~~Elliot~~~~

They waited as patiently as they could in the waiting room. They couldn't move or anything, they're just immobilized in a wheelchair while waiting for someone to give them a panic attack in exchange for a cast and possibly some stitches.

They had a breakdown in front of their therapist, and they weren't even in therapy. This was far from the most embarrassing experience in Elliott's life, but it was definitely up there.

"Should we maybe call Mitchell for you?" Emile asked.

Elliott shook their head. "Don't bother, he'll call me when he wants to."

"Are you sure?"

Elliott nods.

"Alright."

"Elliott Stokes?" a nurse asks.

"That's me." They say.

"Alright, Sir. We're ready for you."

"I'm non-binary." They explain.

"My apologies, is Mx okay?” The nurse asks. 

Elliott nods. 

Before Elliott knew it, they were moving. Panic struck them hard. They looked back at Remus and Emile who were holding hands and smiling at one another in a comforting way.

Is that what relationships were supposed to look like? Elliott doesn't even remember the last time Mitchell and they held hands.

Great, now they're crying again. This was going to be just great.

~~~Logan~~~

Virgil and Logan waited outside on the porch steps and talked until they got the text from Remy.

Virgil sighed. Logan gave them a concerned look, so he held up his phone to show him. "Officially cancelled."

"Good timing," Logan says, eyes rolling.

"Wasn't their fault. Apparently, a friend of Emiles broke their leg. Remy texts better than they talk.” 

Logan nodded. "It still would've been nicer to know before sitting out here in the snow for twenty minutes. Are you alright?"

"I really wanted them to meet you," Virgil said. “But, I'm also kinda relieved that I don't have to people anymore today."

"Next time," Logan says, rubbing Virgil's' arm affectionately as an attempt to comfort him…or warm him. "I was planning on leaving early anyway due to your attack earlier.” 

"Lo, I'm fine. Attacks happen."

Logan helped him up, and the two of them started walking back to their car. "This was your third attack this week. I think you need a better coping mechanism."

Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets, "I cope."

"How?"

Virgil didn't reply.

Two guys started walking towards them in opposite directions. Logan really didn't care to notice until one of them was waving happily at Virgil. "Oh. Hey, Virge. What's going on? What happened?"

"Hey, Pat. They canceled; didn't you get the group text?" Virgil asked.

Patton shook his head. "You know, I really need to get this gosh darn phone fixed." He tisked, shaking his head again and grabbing his phone.

Without even a proper introduction of the first character, the other person made their way to them. "Just got their text.” He sighs. "I hope everyone is ok."

"Yeah," Virgil agreed. "That really sucks. Broken legs…I mean.” 

"Hey, since we're all here anyway, why not make the most of it?" Patton suggests.

"Well, I do have their spare key. I highly doubt they'll want company after an emergency like this." Roman explains.

“So you're the one who stole the key.” Virgil accuses. 

“It's not stealing, I just still have stuff to move from their house!” Roman says. 

“Likely story.” Viegil says. 

“Anyway- maybe we could go do something else? Since we're all here.” Roman says. 

"We could go get something to eat," Patton suggests.

"I'm Logan by the way," Logan shook Roman and Patton's hands.

"I'm Patton, this is Roman." He introduces. “It's so nice to finally meet you!” 

Roman lifts his eyebrow as he shakes Logan's hand. He really took his time to look over Logan. He whispers, "I have a long list of questions concerning Virgil and your relationship that I need answered. It's nothing personal, though I will kill you if you hurt my little emo."

"What?" Logan asked.

"He's joking!" Virgil shouts. But realizing he was now the center of attention, he pulled his hood and covered their face, trying to hide from everyone. Logan wasn't sure what to do, so he placed a hand on his shoulder.

They all decided to go out to dinner. A familiar, healthy, but not so expensive diner was their best option (Though Roman insisted on paying for everyone anyway, apparently he had money that even Patton was surprised to know.) 

Virgil remained quiet most of the night, but still smiled whenever someone would look him in the eye.

Logan knew something was wrong, and it wasn't just the anxiety. He wanted to help somehow. He wanted to do something to help...he just doesn't know what.

After a pleasant (slightly awkward) dinner with Patton and Roman, they all started to walk back to their cars. "Thank you for a nice evening, it was really nice meeting you both." Logan says.

Patton and Roman smile.

"Is the evening over already?" Roman asked.

"Yeah, we could go see a movie or something," Patton suggests.

Logan looked at Virgil. "Another time, I have some work to do tomorrow."

"Oh alright." Patton says. 

Roman and Patton both hugged Virgil and shook Logan's hand goodbye.

Then Logan took Virgil's hand and lead him to their car. 

~~~ Remus~~~

Emile tapped his foot nervously, eyes not moving away from where Elliott was taken. Remus hasn't seen him this stressed out since his mother was in the hospital last year. (Broke her hip, but she's okay now.)

When was the last time Emile regressed? It had to have been at least a month. This was definitely going to push him over the edge, he was definitely going to need some little time tomorrow.

"Em?" Remus asked.

Emile only hummed in response.

"They'll be ok." Remus reminded. He grabbed his hand and held it tight. "I promise, they're in good hands."

"But what If something happens while they're in there?" Emile asked, he even sounded stressed out. He started to bite his nails until Remus grabbed his other hand and held on.

"Like what?" Remus asks.

"Well, what if they have another break down? Or a panic attack, or-." He started to breathe heavier, not quite a panic attack, but he was definitely panicked.

"They're going to be fine, baby. I promise." Remus says. 

Emile nods. "Yeah, they'll be fine.” He said to himself, unconvincingly.

"You really care about them. Don't you?" Remus asked, grabbing something out of his bag.

"I care about all my patients." Emile says. 

"Oh yeah, for sure. Me too," Remus says. “Does Kai have your cell phone number?"

"What?"

"Does Kai have your number?"

Emile shook his head. “No.” 

"Dot, Larry, Corbin, Solone?"

He shook his head again. "Nope, just Elliott..."

"Why?"

"When patients leave, I like to feel like I've helped them somehow. I feel a sense of pride. And even if I don't. Most of the time I know they have support from someone else. But not with Elliott. They have no one."

"They have a boyfriend, right?"

Emile looked back at the door to make sure Elliott wasn't coming back yet, then turned back to Remus and shook his head. "I'm not so sure."

Remus nods, rubbing Emile's arm. "I get it."

"If something happens-"

"Nothing is going to happen except Elliott getting proper treatment for their injuries. I promise, everything will be ok."

Emil sighed. "Ok."

"Here," Remus hands him his small stitch pop-it.

"Thanks," He smiles, gladly taking it. "You know we may have to take them home with us, right?"

"Yeah. I figured as much." Remus says. 

"Good."

“Mkay, their machines suck so I found a starbucks.” Remy came back with coffee for all of them, knowing they'd be there for a bit.

“Thanks, Remy.” Emile says. 

“This is surprisingly sweet of you.” 

“I'm not sweet, I'm just bored. Hospitals are boring!” Remy says. 

“We'll be back home soon.” Remus says. “Just hang in there.” 

~~~Virgil~~~

And as Logan and Virgil got back to their car, Virgil took a deep breath. "You don't have work tomorrow."

"I know." Logan says. "I just didn't want you to feel overwhelmed again."

Virgil unbuckled their seatbelt to move closer to Logan. "Can I kiss you?"

Logan nodded. "I'd like that."

He leans over and kisses him softly. "Thanks."

"Virgil?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk about your anxiety." Logan says. 

Virgil moved back to his seat. "This was supposed to be a nice little moment, Lo."

Logan sighed, "I'm sorry, but I'm concerned about you."

"I know you are." Virgil says. 

"Virge, please tell me what happened today. What caused the panic attack?"

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it." Virgil says, leaning back and crossing his arms.

Logan licked his lips. "Alright. You of course don't have to. But if there is something I can do... I promise I'd be more than willing. I'm here for you. Always." Logan grabbed Virgil's hand and squeezed it gently.

Virgil moved his hand away, he tried to hide the tears from Logan by facing the window, while Logan just focused on driving him home.

They didn't deserve Logan's support.

~~~Elliott~~~

"Do you have a place to stay tonight, Elliott?" Emile asked on the drive back.

They nod. “Yeah, if you can just drop me off at my apartment. I'll be fine."

"Do you have a roommate or anyone in case something happens?"

"I mean, no but-"

"Yeah, you're staying with us." Emile says.

They lick their lips. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's either that or he calls you every hour to make sure you're breathing," Remus says.

Elliott nods, it's not like they were going to change his mind.

When they arrived at their apparent, Emile unbuckled his seatbelt. "Okay, we're going to need your keys."

"What?"

"You're going to need something to wear." he says. “Your clothes are covered in blood."

"I don't need anything, I'll be fine." They insist.

"Elliott, we're not going to judge you." Emile explains. "You need clothes. And you're not going to be able to walk up and down those stairs every day, I won't have it."

"Alright, fine." they sigh handing him their key. "Just take into consideration though that this is me trusting you. That's not easy for me."

"I appreciate that. Is there anything specific we should grab?"

"My makeup bag?" They asked, "I keep it under the sink."

"Got it, anything else?"

Yes...but no.

"Just some clothes, I guess." Elliott says. 

They wanted their Paci and their blanket but that was way too much. Picani didn't have to know everything.

"Alright. Remus, stay here to make sure they don't move it- move it."

Remy rolled their eyes, "does it ever end?"

"You got it." Remus says.

Remy and Emile walked inside the apartment, and Elliott just hoped that they wouldn't find their little gear. They're a big enough freak already.

~~~Afterwards~~~

"Thanks for letting me crash on your couch.” Elliott says. 

"Well, since we wouldn't let you go home, I'd say it was the least we could do." Emilie says, making up the couch for them.

"Either way, I appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if you weren't there for me tonight."

"It's really no problem.” He says. “Goodnight, Elliott."

"Night." Elliott smiles.

Dr Picani went upstairs and so Elliott decided to check to see if they packed their makeup remover. It's not really healthy to sleep with makeup on. But to their dismay, they found their pacifier in the front pocket.

Oh…shit. 

🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶

Possum:

If you like this story, please comment and let me know that you do. It's really the best modification. Because I'm an adhd racoon who forgets that they're writing something.

This is a re-write/re-edit. Of an older fic of mine. (Don't go looking for the original. It's really bad. I didn't know how to write then ig.

I just really love Elliott and was disappointed that there wasn't any little!Elliott content and them created a big complicated story that very few people were interested in.

I also have an age regression roleslaying with Roman fic I'd love to re-write. Let me know if you'd be interested in that one.

Anyway have a wonderful day, lovelies! 💖💖💖

[clinically-obssessed]

Are Logan & Janus Two Sides of the Same Coin?

In "Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts," it is revealed that Remus is Roman's "dark" counterpart. But who is Janus' "light" counterpart? It is certainly possible that he doesn't have one. But given how much emphasis is put into the symmetry between the "dark" & "light" sides (same number in each, black vs white clothing, etc), as well as the similarities within these groups (the naming conventions, for instance), it seems likely that Janus is somehow connected to one of the others. Following the example of Roman and Remus, both brothers are responsible for creativity, but Roman's creativity is deemed to be good and pure, whereas Remus' creativity is deemed dark and disturbing. Therefore, Janus and his counterpart would likely share the same fundamental trait as well, though their manifestations of it would be different. On this basis, I will argue that Logan and Janus are connected by the trait of reason, and that Janus is a "dark side" because he uses reason in a way that is cynical and self-interested.

First, let us compare Logan and Janus' style of argumentation. Logan typically references scientific studies and concepts, such as the Yerkes-Dodson Curve and the statistic about Christmas decorations that appears in "Putting Others First" to name only a few. This demonstrates his highly empirical world view, and from these empirical observations he draws normative conclusions about what Thomas ought to do. One of Logan's biggest emphases is on Thomas's health, as demonstrated in "Why Do We Get Out Of Bed In The Morning?"

On the other hand, Janus focuses on philosophical arguments, referencing Kant, Stirner, and Nietzsche to make his points. Though Janus is less interested in scientific facts, he still demonstrates logic in his own way, as these philosophers all used rational arguments to support their conclusions (note: whether or not you agree with them, what I mean by "rational" is that they applied the rules of logic to their premises to construct their philosophies). Janus has also been described as representing self-preservation, an aim not too dissimilar to Logan's goal of promoting Thomas' health. After all, Janus explicitly argued in favor of Thomas's mental health in "Putting Others First."

With all of this being said, it is worth noting that the flexibility and ambiguity of philosophy allows Janus to use logic as a tool to suit his needs in the moment. To put it in the words of Renee Descartes, "there is nothing so strange and little believable that it has not been said by one of the philosophers." Furthermore, "Selfishness vs Selflessness" draws attention to the contradictions between Stirner's belief in equality and his racism, suggesting that philosophers are often hypocritical and cannot necessarily be trusted. This is what makes Janus a "dark" side - he too has the capability to reason, but rather than pursuing the noble goal of truth, he uses his powers to manipulate others and further his own ends.

Given this reading, it is significant that in "Selfishness vs Selflessness," Logan is the one to mention Peter Singer, a contemporary philosopher. This further reinforces the hidden similarities between the two. Throughout the entire series, the only other side to use philosophical arguments is Janus, so for Logan to reference a philosopher in support of one of his own arguments suggests that he recognizes a certain logic to them as well (even if it is not his default method of logic). Moreover, Janus' adoption of the more science-based mental health rhetoric in the same episode shows that this parallel goes both ways.

This opens up a new avenue for speculation: who is Patton's "dark" counterpart? There are two possibilities: Virgil and the yet-to-be-revealed Orange Side. I will now discuss the evidence and implications of both:

Virgil: It is undeniable that Virgil and Patton share a unique bond. This can be seen throughout the episodes, and it would feed into the idea that Virgil is Patton's (formerly) "dark" counterpart. The trait that both share in common is feelings - while Patton's feelings are generally quite positive with some negative ones slipping through (see Moving on), Virgil is largely negative with a few positive emotions occasionally showing. However, if Virgil is the "dark" side of Patton, it is not clear what it means for him to have joined the "light" sides or what makes him special in that regard. Perhaps it can be explained as a result of Patton's morality -- he is ultimately who dictates which sides are good or bad, so if he took a personal liking to Virgil, he would see Virgil as good and thus Virgil would "become light."

Orange: Fans have speculated rather plausibly that the orange side will represent rage/anger, which would work well with this theory. This would be another instance of emotions "gone wrong" so to speak, as one emotion that Patton (and by extension Thomas) never seems to show is anger. Anger has a certain capacity for destructiveness, so this could be why the orange side is considered "dark." If orange was Patton's counterpart, this would leave Virgil without any counterpart, suggesting that he occupies an unusual role within Thomas' psyche and is perhaps the sole "neutral" side.

There is, of course, a third possibility: that orange & Virgil are counterparts, and that Patton is the one who is exceptional. Maybe Patton's role as the arbiter of morality means that he occupies a privileged position in Thomas's psyche which cannot easily be inverted (after all, what would be the purpose in a side that makes Thomas evil for no reason?)

Anyway, what do you guys think?

[sanderssides-askpalace]

Sanders Sides Askpalace: Recap 1

The sides introduce the blog and give a warm welcome.

The first ask is how everyone is doing. Virgil is nervous about how the ask blog will do. Roman is feeling glittery. Patton is doing fantastic. Remus ate a spoon. Janus is doing as well as he can. Logan is doing well.

Someone asks who can do a flip. Patton can flip a coin. Remus can do a flip and says he'll do it off the second floor. Virgil stops. Virgil will not do a flip either. Janus totally did a flip. Roman is confused but he can do a flip too. Logan only flips book pages.

Another asker brings up the possibilities of variants and universes. Logan is interested and want to meet them or at least see how many are there. Patton is excited at the thought of more kiddos and dads. Virgil hates that it means there's more Janus-es. Remus loves that there's more Janus-es. Before he says anything though, Janus cuts him off. Janus does not want to deal with multiple copies of the sides. Virgil agrees that one Remus is enough. Roman is excited at the thought of multiples of him, saying that's a lot of handsome and muscle. Virgil says Roman wouldn't be special. Roman is flattered that Virgil thinks he's special. Virgil moves onto the next question.

An anon who calls themselves "sugar anon" gives the boys some treats. Roman, Remus, and Patton gobble up as many as he can. Virgil, Janus, and Logan brace themselves for a long day and take some candy from the pile.

The sugar rush starts. Janus and Virgil try to wrangle the twins. Janus gets bit by Remus. Logan is back thinking about the variants again and what could be out there.

Virgil has Logan sitting down and helps him calm down, assuring him he's not missing out on anything and suggesting he test substances from Remus' realm. Janus brings Remus back and Remus admits he felt sick. Patton and Roman also have tummy aches.

Someone suggests to get Remy but Virgil declines, saying they'll be out soon. Patton asks why candy makes his tummy hurt. Logan says it's because he ate a lot. Roman says Virgil's spaghetti would never hurt him. Remus wants spaghetti. Janus laments about the fact that they can't have nice things. He then sneakily eats a piece of candy.

Someone else calls Virgil out on his flirting with Roman. Virgil denies that he was flirting. Roman's tummy still hurts and he's oblivious. Janus says he's tortured. Remus says he has it worse since Virgil is trying to get with HIS brother.

Someone suggests ginger and Janus goes to prepare it. The candy fiends asks for tummy rubs. Remus doesn't get tummy rubs because Janus is busy.

Soon Janus returns with tea. Roman and Remus mention doing pranks and stealing from Janus. Janus hears them but gives them tea anyways, telling them not to say he doesn't do nice things for him. Patton's just happy to have tea.

Someone else suggests a nap for the candy fiends. Janus assures that they'll be asleep soon. Virgil asks if there's something in the tea. Janus says there isn't and that he would never hurt the twins as well as that it takes a lot to sedate Remus. Virgil hates that he's partially right. Janus, Virgil, and Logan also have a piece of candy while the other three doze off.

The variant anon shares a rumor of what they've seen in the other universes. Such as a dark universe. They tell the boys to consider themselves lucky and that there are even rumors of a seventh side. Logan is intrigued but has never heard of a seventh side. Virgil is fine with six sides. Janus teases about a less edgy Virgil. Virgil refuses to be less edgy.

Someone says they look cute and cozy. Virgil says he's only making sure Roman onto the floor. He refuses to cuddle with Remus and Janus. Janus is making sure Remus stays settled down. Logan doesn't want to move or he'll upset Patton. No one is able to move while they're being cuddled. Virgil and Logan decide to hang out. Janus plans to clean and hoard candy once he's free from Remus.

Virgil, Logan, and Janus talk about their favorite sweets. Janus mentions apples and that there's a special apple he loves but can't get often. Janus starts acting weird and excuses himself to do some cleaning.

Virgil is asked about Janus' connection to apples. Virgil says Janus wouldn't tell him when he asked. He explains how Janus gets quiet when seeing a certain apple and the time he got angry at Patton for slicing what seemed to be a very golden delicious apple. Janus also refused to have a slice that day. Janus broods from the kitchen and listens as Virgil and Logan wonder where these apples came from.

Someone asks about their least favorite side. Janus and Virgil joke that their least favorite side. Though Janus thinks it's someone else for him. Logan says he could never hate any of the sides.

Someone asks about Janus and Virgil being on a deserted island. Virgil says Janus is resourceful but that he thinks he and Janus would kill each other sooner than later. Janus thinks he'll get sick of bugs and fish. Logan gets a chance to ramble about space.

Janus is asked what his favorite type of apple. Janus talks about green apples and golden delicious apples. His favorite apple is something different though and that it's rare, saying one should cherish it. Logan and Virgil talk about their favorite fruit and veggie.

Logan, Virgil, and Janus talk about meeting the shorts' characters. They've heard about it. They've met Remy and Roman likes him. Virgil considers Andy but doesn't want to give Thomas more anxiety. Logan has heard of a teacher character but questions his method.

The candy fiends wake up and Virgil catches them up on the last few questions.

Checking in on how everyone's feeling. Everyone feels better. Logan reminds Patton not to eat too much candy. Patton calls Logan smart and Logan blushes. Remus does not like them being sappy but he doesn't feel sick anymore. He wants to do something. He gets confused when Janus barely answers. Virgil tells Remus about the apple question. Roman is told about how Janus gets weird about apples.

The twins are asked about what they know with Janus and apples. Neither know anything apart from Janus going to the Imagination to get these apples. Roman has sensed Janus entering the Imagination but never saw him. Virgil says they should drop it as Janus looks uncomfortable. Logan is concerned.

Someone tries to guess the apple. Janus mentions that it was based on said apple while accidentally mentioning a 'he' in his answer. Janus then requests to change the subject. Roman is also concerned.

The sides talk about what they do at the end of the day. They hang out and bother each other or do things together like reading and gossiping. Janus and Roman like doing face masks.

Another apple question about the phrase 'apple of his eye' which Roman finds romantic. Remus hates that they're sappy again. Janus really doesn't want to talk about apples again.

The sides talk about who has the better music taste. No one comes out on top. They all have their own tastes.

The sides talk about what they do when not filming with Thomas. They just hang out in Thomas' head and do their own thing like working or scheming. Some visit each other and some see Thomas.

The sides talk about their favorite musicals and songs from it. It's followed by an asks about what their DND characters would be like from shapeshifting to orcs to paladins to magic users and alchemists.

Roman talks about his adventures such as getting lavender to make tea for Virgil or fighting the dragon witch. Or wrangling Remus' gremlins up. Roman then talks about the ravine separating his and Remus' side, not knowing where it came from. Someone asks Patton and Janus about the ravine. Patton knows as much as the twins. Janus knows more and he knows Patton knows more too. He's hesitant to tell the twins. When Roman begs, Patton interrupts and redirects the conversation. Roman is still curious.

The sides talk about their childhood. Janus says Remus was mischievous. Remus is proud and calls Virgil out for being a coward. Virgil calls Remus out for being afraid of thunder and hiding under the bed. Patton and Logan talk about how cute Logan was and how smart he still is. Roman admits he can't remember his own childhood. That it's a big blurry blank when he tries to think. There's barely any memories. before him waking up in the light side. Janus is watching Patton. Patton feels...guilty and doesn't know why.

Janus lets it slip that the ravine is connected to the twins. The twins didn't directly create it. Janus refuses to tell the twins for now within his own reasons. The ravine closing is a good thing though.

Someone suggests the twins to explore the ravine without telling Janus or Patton. Remus wants to go. Roman is tempted but worries about falling in or Remus jumping in.

[prodigal-explorer]

i have a sanders sides au concept on the brain

they're all siblings but they all sort of defy expectations when it comes to sibling dynamics. all six of them live together.

(cw for mention of substance addiction under the read more)

janus is the oldest at 23, and he struggles a lot with the whole "parenting" thing. he's very ambitious, and he's working to further his career in the detective industry so he can better provide for his family, but he is extremely emotionally and physically distant, and it's rare that he does anything with his brothers, whether it's helping around the house or playing with them. he does love his brothers, but he has trouble connecting with them.

virgil is the second oldest at 21. he had to drop out of college in order to provide for his younger siblings' needs at home, and he resents janus for staying in college and leaving virgil to be the one to drop out. virgil is a bit of a "bad cop" when it comes to parenting his younger brothers, but he'd rather be a little mean than be the reason why his brothers get hurt. he cares a lot about safety, and he's super protective over his brothers. but being the one who does all the chores and the cooking and the paperwork is super taxing, and virgil runs on practically no sleep and no self care.

patton is the third oldest at 20. he's the "fun one" to the younger siblings, and he also stays home to help his brothers when he isn't working his job at a bakery, but he doesn't do as much around the house. he's the "parent", the one who gives the children baths, reads them stories, comes to their school events, etc. he's practically worshipped by the littles, but he's hiding a horrible secret that puts his brothers in danger whenever they're around him. he has a bad habit of babying his little brothers, especially roman. he also tends to spoil them with money that they do not have.

roman is the "middle child" so to speak at 18. he's a new adult, but nobody really considers him as such because he is severely intellectually disabled, having the estimated mental capacity of a six-year-old in terms of physical and intellectual ability. despite being the fourth oldest, roman is sort of regarded as the baby of the family due to his disability, which is something he does not particularly like. roman is very close with all of his siblings, even though he has a tendency to dramatize things and make up grand stories. despite struggling with academic and common sense related skills, roman is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he is probably the wisest sibling in the bunch.

remus is the second youngest at 14. he's at a difficult age, where everything is getting harder, and nobody is truly there for him. between family fights left and right, siblings who seem to always need more than him, and his tendency to brush off emotions, remus is often floating around on his own with no guidance. he is addicted to nicotine due to looking up to some bad influences at school, and he's going down a very dangerous path. he's gritty, sarcastic, and overall just angry at the world. angry at his family. angry at himself. just...angry.

logan is the youngest at 10. he's a shockingly serious child, being a prodigy. he's extremely skilled academically, especially in subjects like math, science, and grammar. despite being the youngest, he hates being regarded as a baby, or a child, or anything similar. being the only member at the family adept at math, he does the family's taxes, and ends up being a kid who grew up way too fast. he's the only one who knows patton's secret, and he's sitting on it with sealed lips until he can figure out what to do about it. despite being very mature for his age, logan is still very clearly a kid who needs help.

i just have so many scenarios pertaining to this au as a whole and i might need to write some snippets.

[icequeenoriginal]

Fairest of Them All

Pairings; (Implied) Prinxiety 

Warning: Crying, having bad thoughts, Remus, self-punishment, hurt/comfort, Roman angst, capslock, movie death mentioned (let me know if I missed anything)

Author’s Note: The saga of me making Roman every Disney princess continues! This one is a bit different because I am not actually putting the Sanders Sides characters in the Snow White story, you’ll see what I mean in a second. I hope you enjoy it. All feedback is appreciated. 

~

Roman likes fairytales. 

What’s not to like about them? They have princes, ballads, and the occasional dragon witch. The characters go on these amazing journeys where they can see beautiful places, wear beautiful outfits and meet beautiful people.

Best of all, they always had happy endings.

Roman loves happy endings. Happy endings mean that everyone is safe and happy. Where people fall in love. 

Where the prince’s efforts paid off. Where his family shows they care about him. Where no one thought he was evil. 

Roman wanted a happy ending. 

The happy ending where he would be told he did the right thing. The happy ending where he saved the day. The happy ending where he was Thomas’ hero again. 

But that did not seem likely.  

Not after the wedding, not after the argument, not after the whole “Janus” fiasco. 

Not after Janus confirming his worst fear. 

As Roman paced around his room, he knew he had to face the facts. There was no way he was Thomas’ hero now. 

Janus’ nod felt like a death sentence. The last thing he saw before his head would be chopped off while the crowd cheers for his death. Unwanted and rejected. 

And now there was nothing he could do. 

Well, not exactly. 

There was a lot he could do. He could ignore everyone and pretend that everything is okay. Continue to be himself. Not likely, as proven earlier when he tried practicing fake smiling in the mirror but only led to him breaking down. So that idea was out. 

He could yell at everyone, telling them what he really feels, especially to Janus. Terrible idea, as the events of today, have shown him. 

Option three is to answer Patton’s request to talk. Even though Patton had stopped knocking, Roman knew he was still standing behind the door.  Roman could see his shoes under the door. He knew Patton would listen to him, let him rant, and give him advice. He might even apologize. It seemed like the best option.

But he didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to listen to Patton now. He didn’t want to even get close to the door.

He wants to be angry. He wants to throw something. He wants to open the door just to slam it in Patton’s face. He wanted to be the villain they all thought he was.

The only thing he could compel himself to do was lay on the floor and cry. Cry until he could never cry again. He knew it wasn’t good for him...or maybe it was, he can’t remember Logan's lecture about cry at this moment. 

He couldn’t really think about anything, his head was too loud but all he could hear was static.. He felt like that would go on forever before his thoughts were interrupted by the soft melody of ‘One Song’. 

Roman looks over to see his Snow White music box. He silently watches Snow White and the Prince dance as the melody plays. He is not sure what activated the music but he appreciates it nonetheless. 

 As the song continues, Roman takes deep breathes, calming himself down. He manages to sit up all the way by the end. His breathing is finally back to normal and the tears seemed to stop. 

What did Logan say about distraction? That sometimes it was the healthy thing to do? God, that movie session seemed so long. He is going to miss those, now that everything’s different. 

Maybe watching Snow White would make him feel better. He could have a snack and cuddle with his stuffed animals while ignoring his feelings. 

There was only one problem, he would have to leave his room. Everything, including Thomas’ Snow White DVD, was in the living room/kitchen. He already promised himself that he wasn’t going to leave his room so that idea was thrown out the window. 

Before that thought could worsen his mood more, a bright light and the sound of a door being open caught his attention. 

The Imagination. 

Roman took a few moments to just stare at the bright white light. It practically begged him to come in and play. 

“Huh, that might not be a bad idea.” Roman thought to himself. He could make his own Snow White and having to focus to keep the world together would be an even better distraction. 

Roman pushes himself off the floor and he walks through. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath as the blank white world fills with the scenery of the classic Disney film. 

He looks down to see he is wearing gray, faded ratty pants with different patches sewn into the pants leg. He turns to the window next to him to see he has an equally ratty shirt on. 

Huh, guess he is being Snow White. 

He didn’t intend to do that but there was no going back now. Not when he put so much effort into this already. Well, the imagination did anyway. It did that sometimes, give him what he wanted. Like it had a mind of its own. Like a friend he could always rely on.

He gives himself another once over before snapping a small navy blue bow clip in his hair. Details matter!

(It’s not technically accurate to the original, but he never really could stand to have a headband on for long.)

He checks over the castle, making sure every brick is as accurate to the movie as possible. He does the Evil Queen’s room last. He makes sure to get every spellbook and every vial.    

Now it was time for the evil Queen. 

But first, he had to take a moment to admire his work. Yeah, that’s the only reason. 

So he stared for an agonizing long time, until his eyes started to gloss over.

Roman sighs and rubs his face, he couldn’t put it off anymore. His mind immediately wanted to make Janus the Evil Queen but a sharp pain of guilt in his stomach made him stop. 

He knew that would be mean and vindictive. If someone walked in, they would tell him he was wrong, again. He is not sure he could handle that. 

That meant Remus was out too. Better to be safe than sorry. 

Any image of Patton flashed through his mind, but not Patton dressed in his normal attire. No, Patton dressed as the Evil Queen. 

Roman is nearly knocked over by the thought. He covers his mouth to suppress the sob that seems to come out of nowhere. 

“I thought I was done crying,” Roman thinks bitterly. 

Evil. Evil! EVIL! That was a thought only an evil person would have. To make Patton the villain, kind, sweet Patton just because he was mad at him. 

Maybe he was evil. 

He deserved to be punished. That’s what all villains deserved. 

He summons the Dragon-Witch to play the Evil Queen. This had to be the simplest choice. Why didn’t he think of this first?

Oh right, because he is a bad person. 

The Dragon Witch snarls at him, “With your father gone, I know have to run this Kingdom alone. You will no longer sit around. You will cook, clean, carry your weight around here.”

Roman silently nods. 

“You may be a prince but you are not my son.” Roman didn’t know why that stung so much. 

The dragon witch shoves a mop into Roman’s arms which Roman accepted without question. He stays silent as he heads out into the hall and begins to mop. 

He finds himself smiling. “This is perfect actually. Cleaning is good AND distracting. And, and it’s a punishment! This is perfect.”

Roman looks out the window and sees the wishing well. It was one of his favorite Disney songs. 

But…

Roman shook his head, he felt as though he didn’t deserve it. 

He would clean until he tires himself out and just ends the scene here. 

That, he felt, was good.

~

Remus, like any of the sides, was a fan of Disney. He loved all the hidden adult jokes and his absolute favorite movie was Tarzan with all its violence and that ending…

You know with the bad guy hanging around! Haha!

Remus had himself a good chuckle before checking over the scene in front of him. He seems Roman scrubbing the balcony of Snow White’s Castle as the Dragon Witch watches him disapprovingly. 

“Huh, This is...different,” Remus thought.

In the past, whenever Roman put himself into stories, especially Disney ones, he was the “brave and wonderful” prince, and Remus played the “vile and evil” villain. So to see Roman as the damsel was odd. 

That was the only thing off. He didn’t care that Roman never asked him to play anymore. 

It was out of character, he wasn’t actually concerned. 

He was just going to mess with Roman, that’s why he moved closer. That was the only reason. 

Turning himself into a dark black raven, Remus flies down and sits on the very wishing well that Roman was staring at, moments ago. 

He sits on the end of the wishing well and spots the Dragon Witch watching Roman in the window, she has a disapproving scowl on her face. Roman continues to clean the courtyard stairs though there is something very very off. 

Why wasn’t he singing?

Roman, Mister Disney extraordinaire and number one anti-remakes, was always faithful to the original, though he would make always make it gay. 

“It doesn’t count,” Roman would always argue, “I’m gay, Thomas is gay, we’re all gay, we don’t kiss girls”

Remus had seen this movie, as had every one of Thomas’ side, about a million times. The birds were in position but Roman was not singing. In fact, Roman starts to clean away from the wishing well. 

Well, that can’t be right. 

Remus observes Roman for almost half an hour before deciding that Roman has no intention to continue the story. 

“How boring!” Remus thinks, “What kind of story is ‘boy who cleans all day’? There’s no heart, no blood, no creativity! This will not do, no, no. Guess I have to make it fun.”

Remus flies swiftly by Roman, who barely even glances at him.  

He just continues to clean, clean, and clean. 

Just clean, clean, and clean...

~

Virgil drapes his left leg over the armrest closest to the kitchen and his right leg rests on the top of it. His head was just under the other couch’s arm. His right arm lays lazily over his chest as he holds his phone close to his neck while his left hand dangled near his bag of chips on the ground. 

Thomas was having a lazy day. It had been a few days since Lee and Mary Lee had visited and while an outsider might think things were all good now, Virgil knew better. Just because one good thing happened, doesn’t mean all the shitty other problems would magically go away. His job would be so much better if it did. 

A blind man could see how tense everyone was. Thomas was going through a lot and they all felt the effects of it. 

He honestly didn’t know what he specifically should be stressing about, there was that much stuff going on right now. 

Luckily, he didn’t have to pick because it was simply picked for him. One moment he was staring at the ceiling and the next moment, Remus is floating over him, smirking evilly. 

Virgil definitely DID NOT squeal as tumbled off the couch. That definitely DID NOT happen. 

Remus bursts into laughter as Virgil huffed and stood up. “Ohohohoho, how that never gets old.” 

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Yeah, great, hilarious. Are you done?”

“Not quite! I have so much more up my sleeve!” Remus announces as he pulls out a dead rat from his right sleeve. 

Virgil only blinked at him, too used to seeing things like this. “Okay, now are you done? I have a whole lot of nothing to be doing right now.”

“Actually, in a minute, you will have a whole lot of something to do.” 

Virgil audibly groans and pushes himself off of the couch, “Are you kidding me, Remus? What did you do now? This is possibly the worst time for you to do something to Thomas!” Virgil began to pace around the room sporadically. He opens and closes his fist as he does, trying to ground himself. 

He was so focused on that, that he didn’t notice that Remus wasn’t reacting to him at all. In fact, he was so still that he almost faded into the background. 

Once Virgil does realize, he stops and turns to Remus, “What? Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m waiting for you to shut up.” 

Virgil was so shocked by what Remus said that he could not stop his jaw dropping in shock. Remus decided that this was a victory and to continue, 

“Look, a little bird told me, before I ate it of course, that Roman is acting strange in the imagination.”

“Strange?”

“Strange and unusual! Unfortunately, it is not the good kind. He is not even doing his boring work for Thomas and I know that is all you guys care about.” Remus says as he smirks, clearly trying to taunt Virgil. 

“Hey, that’s not true–”

“Oh? Then prove it. Go to him. See what’s wrong.” Virgil’s eyes widen as he hears the shift in Remus’ tone. There was none of his usual teasing, no chuckling, nothing.  

He truly never thought he would ever see Remus be serious. 

Virgil takes a deep breath, “I’ll go. Lead the way.” 

“Wonderful!” Remus shouts as his only warning before grabbing Virgil’s arm and sinking out of the living room. 

~

Popping into imagination, Virgil hesitated to open his eyes. Was the imagination in shambles? Or fire? Were there monsters everywhere?! 

Virgil quickly snapped his eyes open and looked around. The first thing he noticed was how normal everything looked. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing and he could see unicorns running in the distance. 

Virgil briefly wondered that maybe Remus was just trying to get him out of the living room so that he could have the couch for himself, but she dismissed that thought as soon as he had it. Remus would have just sat on top of him or thrown him off the couch. 

He turns to leave the imagination when a dark raven with bright green eyes flies in front of him. They silently stare at each other before the raven flies to his left. It pauses and turns back to Virgil, waiting for him to follow. 

Virgil rolls his eyes as he follows the bird. God, can this get any more dramatic?

~

Apparently, it can get more dramatic! In the form of a giant castle. 

It wasn’t like the giant castle Roman normally has in the imagination. For one thing, this castle was much more white than it did red, and there was no gold to be found. Second, this castle was on a cliff. Roman hated cliffs, he shared Patton’s fear of heights (though he would never admit it). Finally, the style of the castle did not match the rest of the imagination. It looked more like a giant painting that was plopped into the middle of the imagination by accident. 

The raven flew up and perches itself on the wall closest to Virgil. 

Virgil stares up at it, “You don’t expect me to climb this wall, do you?” The raven said nothing, only tilting its head. It blinks at Virgil for a few moments before screeching loudly. 

A bright green light circles around Virgil. He can feel his hoodie disappearing off of his body and being replaced by something a bit heavier. 

The light is so bright and intense that he is forced to shut his eyes. 

He has no idea how long he has had his eyes closed. He only opens them again when he feels a small weight on his right shoulder. He sees the raven perched there on his shiny new pauldron. 

Wait, what?

Virgil examines his new outfit. He is wearing shiny black boots that blended perfectly with his dark purple pants. He is also wearing a matching dark purple tunic, the sleeves of which are tucked into thick black gloves. 

The pauldron is attached to a brown leather strap that goes across his chest, under his left armpit, and across his back. To round out his outfit, a brown leather with a scabbard holding a rapier. 

“Isn’t this a bit much?” Virgil asks the raven. Its only reply is to fly back up to the spot it was in on the wall before Virgil’s transformation. 

“Yeah, this is Roman’s domain after all.” Virgil takes a deep breath, “Alright, let’s do this.” he says before grabbing the wall. 

Almost immediately, his arms began to burn as he pulls himself only a few feet off the ground. He definitely needed to exercise more. To think he had planned to spend today lounging around and snacking... 

How the hell am I going to climb this wall?

~

It took him 17 minutes to get up the wall, though it felt like hours. 

His arms are burning, he is covered in sweat and he is beyond frustrated. 

He is going to kill that bird. 

He sits next to the raven on the top of the wall and takes long and loud deep breaths. 

“You. Nearly. Killed. Me. With. That.” He growls between each gasp for breath. 

The raven did nothing but stare at him. 

Virgil hisses and swipes at the raven…which only leads to his falling forward and off the wall. 

He manages to turn himself fast enough that he falls onto his side instead of on his head, though the strap does dig into his side painfully. 

Virgil groans as he sits up, questioning all the decisions that have led him to this moment. He feels a presence approaching him. 

He looks up, expecting the raven again. Instead, he is face-to-face with Roman. 

Well, almost Roman. This Roman wasn’t wearing his usual outfit nor his usual boisterous simile. This Roman’s clothes were tattered, and he looked frightened. 

“Roman?” Virgil asks as he stands up, swiping the dirt off of him. 

Roman takes a step back from him as he exclaims, “Who are you and how do you know my name?!”

“What are you talking about? It’s me, Virgil. Why are you acting so weird? And what is this place? This isn’t your usual castle.”

Virgil takes another step towards Roman, his stomach dropping as Roman shrinks away from. 

This isn’t right, this isn’t Roman. Remus was right, there is something seriously wrong. Oh god, if Roman is like this, what could be happening to Thomas?!

Before Virgil could spiral any further, Roman continues, “Look, I don’t know why you are and how you know me but you need to leave before my stepmother notices you’re here. She hates intruders.”

Virgil can hear a record scratch in his brain. Stepmother? When have any of them had a stepmother? Thomas doesn’t even have a stepmother. 

Wait a minute. 

Stepmother, castle, cleaning. 

Virgil looks over Roman’s shoulder, seeing a very familiar long window.

“Ohhhh, are you doing some kind of scene? Is that what’s going on?” Virgil finds himself relaxing a bit. If it's a scene, then nothing is wrong. If it’s a scene, then Roman is okay. 

“A…scene…?” Roman says before suddenly freezing up. His outfit flickers from the tattered servant clothes to his normal outfit as he grips his head in pain. 

“Roman!” Virgil puts his hands on Roman’s shoulder, stopping the outfits from switching. Roman, back in his original outfit, lets go of his head. 

“Virgil?” He asks softly. 

“Hey, Ro. Mind telling me what is going on?”

Roman pauses and looks around, his expression is unreadable. He takes in the scene around him, and his eyes widen as he remembers. 

“Oh…oh no…Virgil…I made a huge mistake…”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve gotten lost in my head plenty of times before.” Virgil slightly chuckles “Thought, I will admit that this is much cooler than what my head gives me.” 

Roman blushes slightly, looking down at the ground as he spoke, “T-Thanks…but that’s not what I was talking about…”

“How about you tell me when we get back?”

Roman’s head shot up “Back…?” “Yeah, we can split some ice cream and vent,” Virgil extends his hand to him with his signature smirk on his face. “Come on, let’s go.” Roman stares at Virgil’s hand for a few tense moments before slowly moving his hand towards Virgil’s. Just before their hands make contact, a boom voice causes the both of them to jump. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The dragon witch, in all her Evil Queen glory, flew down and land right behind Roman. The instant that her feet touched the ground, Roman froze. His outfit immediately changed back to the ragged one he had on previously and he shrinks away from Virgil. 

“Excuse me, but who are you?!” she snarls at him, “Get out of my castle immediately! Roman, how dare you not send this man away! You are such a failure. Absolutely useless.”

Roman shrinks in on himself, staring intently at the ground. Right, this was his punishment. He deserved this. He–

“Hey! You can’t talk to him like that!” 

Both Roman and the Dragon Queen’s eyes snapped towards Virgil. Even the dark green crow, who had made himself comfortable on a nearby tree branch, cocked its head to listen in.  

“Excuse me?” the dragon queen growled, “Do you know who I am?! I am the queen and this is my servant, I can say whatever I please to him!”

“Oh no, I’ve seen this movie about a million times, I know that he is the prince and the rags, the cleaning and everything is because you’re insecure about your looks!”

“How dare you--”

“Can it, lady! Roman is my boy--I mean one of my best friends! He’s passionate, hardworking and super kind. He never backs down from what he believes and also makes very good hot chocolate that is just prefect for a rain day! And he may be loud when he sings but his voice is so amazing that I don’t care! He is a great prince and a 1000% better rule of this place than you so you can get out and far away from him!”

And just like that, the dragon witch disappears. Along with the castle, the scenery, and everything else. Even Roman turns back to normal, relaxing the knot in Virgil’s stomach. He looks down, happy to see himself back in his normal hoodie. 

Strangely, as the imagination turned back into an empty white void, the dark green crow stayed. It was forced to fly when its branch, though it wasn’t annoyed. It flies over to Virgil, landing on his shoulder. 

“I think everything will be okay now, Remus.” VIrgil whispers. The crow doesn’t reply, only flying off and out of the imagination. Virgil watched it go with a smile before turning back to Roman. 

Roman was staring at Virgil in disbelief, as if he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. Virgil started fidgeting with his hoodie string, embarrassment flooding him as he realizes that Roman definitely, without a doubt, absolutely heard every word he just said. 

“Oh god, this is awkward…so Ro--”

Virgil’s mouth slams shut as Roman pulls him into a hug, but quickly turns his mouth into a smile. 

Someone somewhere said something about how actions are better than words. A hug, a hug is good. 

~

They silently popped back into the living room, unable to look at one another. 

Virgil didn’t like this silence. It was so tense. He had to fix this. 

“Listen,” Virgil says as he rubs the back of his head, clearly nervous, “Thomas is heading to the mall now. It’s not a high-stakes adventure, but it’s out of the house.” Roman looked into Virgil’s eyes. There was no disappointment, there was no hate. In fact, they were filled with concern, hope, and maybe even...love? It was hard for Roman to believe that but the evidence was right in front of him. 

Roman smiles and nods “That sounds like fun.”

Little did Roman know that he not only would have fun, but it was the fairy tale story he was looking for.

~

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK.

[part-time-zombie]

Waiting Out The Storm

pairings: roceit (could be romantic or platonic)

summary: After a rather nasty storm ends up ruining both Roman and Janus' plans, the pair find themselves coming together and putting their differences aside as they cope with the weather.

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, both sides refuse to talk about their feelings, Virgil's a bit of a jerk for a moment, no other sides are there

word count: 3733

A/N: This fic was the result of me getting inspired by the most recent incorrect quotes video, writing two very similar fics, and putting them together because they fit so well in my head. I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope it's still good.

Janus should have known this would happen. He had only meant to find some proper peace and quiet by retreating outside to read his book in peace, it’s not like he was asking for much. Of course it was going to rain today. Logan had actually mentioned that to him before he headed out, now that he thought about it. He hadn’t bothered to listen to him at the time, and now he wishes he did. The rain was pelting fiercely around him, and the flimsy awning he was hiding under hardly provided any cover against the seemingly unending storm.

He tried to head back inside the second he felt the first raindrop, only to find the door stubbornly locked and barring him from refuge. No one seemed to hear or acknowledge that he was still outside, no matter how loudly he knocked at the door. They all must be busy in their own rooms, unless they were just ignoring him. Janus didn’t know, but at a guess it may be a mix of both. Patton and Logan have yet to fully hate him, so the only reason they would abandon him to the weather is that they simply didn’t realize he was still outside. Remus was probably doing his own thing as well, because even he wouldn’t subject Janus to this indignity too much. Maybe for a little, but not for this long. Virgil, on the other hand, likely wouldn’t care if Janus were locked out all night.

He had seen him, of course. Virgil just happened to descend the stairs shortly after Janus had knocked, presumably to investigate the ruckus he was making. Looking through the glass, Virgil saw him outside huddled close to the window in a desperate attempt to stay dry as the storm continued to rage around him. Janus gave him the most pitifully helpless look possible, hoping he could appeal to some speck of sympathy in Virgil’s heart. It almost seemed to work for a moment, his face softening in realization as he saw him.

Then he closed the blinds and left him stranded outside.

At any other time, Janus would have found that hilarious. It’s the kind of thing he would do himself, and if he weren’t currently on the receiving end of it he’d be laughing. Right now though, he could only shake in the rain, unsure if it was from the cold or anger.

Janus had hoped that Virgil was willing to move on after all this time. Sure, there had been a falling apart between them years ago, but Janus didn’t hold it against him. Not anymore, at least. He had grown past what had happened, but it looks like Virgil hasn’t forgiven him yet.

He’s really going to let him have it when he gets back inside.

It’s not like they can lock him out forever, right? Surely they wouldn’t do that. Patton likes him at least, and Logan respects him enough. All he has to do is wait until they remember he’s out here and then they’ll let him in, a thousand apologies spilling from their lips.

Janus dismissed the thought with a willful shake of the head. Who was he kidding? Logan didn’t really care about him, and Patton probably forgot about him entirely. The only one who knows he’s out here is Virgil, and it was clear he wasn’t letting him in anytime soon. He thought about finding a way to break in somehow, but he knew he wouldn’t actually do it. They need him to be good before they’ll accept him, and good guys don’t pick locks or use dirty tricks to get what they want, even if it’s just to seek shelter from a storm.

He was already on thin ice after everything else he did, he can’t make it worse now.

Roman actually didn’t mind the rain all that much. Sure, it came with the risk of ruining his outfit, but it was usually worth it.

Besides, they were bound to let him in anytime now. He just has to wait a little longer…

He had merely gone out for a quiet stroll in the park, a chance to clear his head and be by himself for a moment, when he heard the distant clap of thunder rapidly approaching. Luckily, Logan had warned him of the storm and he brought an umbrella just in case. At first it simply made for a nice prop, a bright red to compliment his sash as he idly carried it over his shoulder as he walked. With the rain now cascading all around him, he’s rather glad he thought to take it with him.

The weather hardly hindered his time outside, if anything it only improved it. With the rain came a lovely quietness and solitude he didn’t realize he needed, and as he reached out a hand from under his umbrella to feel the rainfall, he found it to be very grounding and calming. It also gave him the opportunity to quote musicals and romantic movies, though it would be nice to sing a proper duet with a partner some day.

That thought had him somberly slow his steps as he headed back to the apartment. He knew no one would want to do that with him. Logan and Virgil would only roll their eyes in quiet criticism, and as enthusiastic as Patton would be, he wouldn’t take it seriously and would probably only make it into something foolish. At least Roman could sing a few songs by himself on the walk back.

By the time he had returned from his walk, the rain had gone from a light shower to a full-on storm, and he was now more than eager to head back inside.

He almost didn’t even see Janus huddled up by the door, shaking and soaking wet.

Janus looked up and saw him, expression shifting from desolated to defensive. He looked away quickly, wrapping his arms even tighter around himself as he tried his best to look unbothered by the rain, and failing spectacularly.

“What are you doing out here?” Roman couldn’t help but ask.

“Enjoying myself, obviously,” Janus replied with a sarcastic sneer. “I just love being subjected to the elements for hours on end, don’t you?”

Roman rolled his eyes as he walked to the door. If Janus was just going to start another petty squabble again, he’d rather get somewhere dry before the fight could start.

The door didn’t budge when he tried to open it.

“It’s locked, idiot,” Janus muttered. “It’s not like I’d still be out here if I had a choice.”

Roman bit his tongue before he said anything too hurtful. Now was not the time. He knocked loudly on the door, to no response.

“Don’t you think I’d have tried that already? They’re not opening the door; they either don’t hear or don’t care.” Janus sighed, absently kicking at a puddle as he spoke. “I doubt they even know it’s you knocking, they’re probably too focused on letting me suffer to remember you’re stuck out here too.”

Roman only huffed in response, grabbing his phone to call someone only to remember all too belatedly that it had died halfway through his walk. Great. Locked out of the house during a storm with Janus is exactly how he wanted today to turn out.

“I don’t suppose you have your phone on hand, do you?” he asked with a sigh.

Janus shook his head in defeat. “Left it in the house by mistake. I doubt anyone would have even answered if I called them, though. They likely have my number blocked.”

“Why the hell would they lock the door on us?”

Janus only shrugged for a moment, leaning against the wall as the rain continued to pool around his feet. “Who’s to say? Maybe they forgot we’re out here, maybe they thought you had come back by now and just wanted to keep me from getting inside, maybe they knew we were both outside and thought it would be funny.”

Roman didn’t respond to that, instead turning and pounding on the door again, though he knew by now that it wouldn’t work.

“If they didn’t know I was out here, they might have answered by now,” Janus commented. “I think they’re too busy ignoring me to remember you.”

Roman started getting defensive. What did Janus know anyway? “They wouldn’t do that.”

Janus arched an eyebrow. “Oh? And you’re so sure?”

“Of course, we may all joke around but we’d never be so wicked as you’re suggesting.”

Janus turned to face him head on, his expression hardened and full of resentment.

“Virgil closed the blinds on me,” he started, voice flat and deadpan. “He looked right at me and left me out here, knowing full well how bad this storm is.” He gave Roman a humorless grin, one that was sharpened with grim understanding. “Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing. Tell me how you wouldn’t even think of doing that to me.”

Roman swallowed uncomfortably. He wanted to say that he wouldn’t, but in truth, he probably would. He might have even locked the door on Janus, if it were him.

That’s hardly heroic of him, but it’s the truth. It’s the horrible, horrible truth.

Janus seemed to take his silence as answer enough, as he hummed knowingly before turning away and watching the storm instead.

Roman looked at him, feeling the weight of what he had said settling over him. Sure, he was still angry about what had happened between them, and that pain may never fully heal, but do either of them deserve that? How much longer will they continue to let each other suffer, all because they’re both too proud to do anything else?

The water was now pooling at Roman’s feet, but he hardly paid it any mind. This always happens, doesn’t it? Roman and Janus fight and no one else does anything about it. It’s almost become as predictable as Remus making a mess or Patton messing up.

He gasped as the thought entered his mind. How could he have forgotten? Roman moved away from the door and started blindly feeling around in the rocks by the back porch with his free hand, much to Janus’ confusion.

“What is it that you’re doing now?” he asked, exasperation evident in his tone.

“Usually it’s Patton who gets locked out of the house,” Roman explained as he continued his search. “And it happened enough times for Logan to get fed up and make a spare key. Virgil insisted we hide it to be safe, and it should be right about…” he trailed off, finally locating the large rock it was under. “Here!”

Roman lifted the key with a victorious flourish, hurriedly unlocking the door. Janus all but raced inside and made a beeline for his room, with Roman hanging up his umbrella close behind.

He, unlike Janus, froze in place immediately when he realized just how dark the apartment was. All he could focus on was the suffocating darkness that had filled every corner of the room and flooded his mind with panic. The whole apartment was vacant and void of light, casting eerie shadows and creating frightening shapes in their wake.

The power was out.

It was no secret that Roman disliked the dark, though he tried to downplay just how badly he was frightened of it. It obscured and obstructed his sight, leaving the surroundings open to his overactive imagination (which always ran the risk of manifesting) and left him feeling far too vulnerable and exposed for his liking. He felt simultaneously cut off from the world and surrounded by danger, and despite the faint flickering of a few candles that had been lit to compensate for the darkness, Roman could only think to search of light and safety.

Janus had gone upstairs, and the other sides must be up there, too. Even if he can’t find light he can at least make sure he’s not alone with the shadows. He hurried upstairs in a frantic search for sanctuary, pausing to recollect himself after finding the hallway to be even darker than the living room. Roman tried to gather his breath and cleared his head before finally spotting a sliver of warm, welcoming light peeking out from behind one of the bedroom doors.

Safety at last.

Eager to escape the darkness that surrounded him, he hurriedly tried to open the door, knocking loudly when he found it locked.

Janus finally opened the door, a warm glow from his room seeping out behind him. Despite his time spent left out in the rain, he was surprisingly dry.

“Are you trying to break my door down?” he hissed. “Not to be rude, but I’ve had enough socializing for today, so if you don’t mind I’d like to be left alone now.”

Janus started to close the door on him, and Roman felt his heart lurch as he realized he would be deprived of that safe, soothing light in Janus’ room. Panicked and desperate, Roman reached out a hand and caught the door before it could close, trying his best to force it back open.

“Are you serious?” Janus exclaimed, still blocking Roman from entering his room. “I told you to go. You’ve been more than willing to avoid me before, right?”

“Please,” Roman ignored the shake in his voice. “The power’s out and it’s dark everywhere else.”

“So?”

“So I can’t stand it. I just want some light, that’s all. I don’t like being in the dark. Please, Janus.”

On any other day, Roman would die from embarrassment at the thought of him begging Janus for help. Especially when the help involves admitting to his own weaknesses and fears. Right now, though, all he can focus on is how well-lit Janus’ room is, and how badly he wants to feel safe.

Janus stared silently back at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You’re scared of the dark, aren’t you?” he finally asked, an unpleasant mixture of condescension and intrigue in his voice.

Roman nodded, an inkling of shame now joining with his still present fear. Of course Janus would mock him for this. What is he thinking, going to Janus for help? It’s not like they’ve buried the hatchet in the storm outside or anything. Janus still hates him, and going to him for help is still a terrible idea. He must have lost his mind to think anything good would come of this.

“Please,” he whispered.

Janus gave him another look before letting out a deep sigh and stepping back, granting Roman access to his room.

“Normally I’d say no, but since you got me out of the storm I’ll oblige this one time,” he said with a groan. “Besides, I don’t like owing people.”

Roman thanked him before quickly heading inside, already feeling himself calm down now that he was out of the dark. Janus’ room was surprisingly decent, with ornate furnishings and regal gold decorations that stood out nicely against the black accents. On the wall to his right was a large, lit fireplace, the source of the reassuring light that lured Roman in here.

Janus sat down on a plush cushion close to the fireplace, picking up the book he must have been reading when Roman interrupted him.

“I wanted to enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet today, and I still intend on doing so, so while you’re here I want you to keep your hands and opinions to yourself, alright?” Janus asked him, the stern tone in his voice leaving no room for debate.

Roman nodded.

“Good, now make yourself comfortable and I’ll do the same.”

With little else to say or do, Roman obediently grabbed a cushion of his own and seated himself on the other side of the fireplace, close enough to be eased by its light while maintaining a respectful distance from Janus.

He didn’t have anything with him to occupy his time, so he instead looked around the room as his mind wandered, taking in the intricate and presumably expensive décor Janus filled his room with. Everything was organized and majestic, and despite Roman preferring lighter and more colorful shades, the lavish accents and atmospheric layout of Janus’ room were surprisingly appealing to his own personal tastes, save for the excessive snake-themed memorabilia, that is.

Roman’s gaze eventually wandered back to Janus, who was still focused on his book and seemed to be trying very hard to pretend Roman wasn’t there. The firelight illuminated his features and wrapped him in a warm and not unpleasant glow that, Roman had to admit, made him look more delicate and even approachable in an enigmatic but alluring way.

“You’re staring,” Janus muttered, eyes flicking up to him for a moment before returning to the page. “Is there a problem, or am I just that handsome?”

Roman flushed, looking away for a moment. “What? Oh, I mean, it’s just… I guess I wanted to say thanks. For letting me in your room, that is.”

Janus looked back up at him, eyes shining by the firelight. “… oh.”

“Uh, what are you reading?” Roman continued, now feeling obligated to keep up the conversation.

“Why are you asking?”

“Well, I’m curious. Is it a good book?”

Janus shifted in his seat. “I think so, but why do you care?”

Roman shrugged, not quite sure how to answer. Why does he care?

Janus let out a huff before going back to his book, muttering a quiet “that’s what I thought,” under his breath as he turned the page.

Janus continued reading, shuffling even closer to the fireplace with what sounded like either another sigh or a shiver. Considering the slight tremble in his hands that he couldn’t fully hide, Roman was tempted to think it was the latter.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course I am,” Janus replied with an unsubtle eye roll.

“It’s just, you’re kinda shaking a little bit. Do you not like the dark too?”

Janus stiffened slightly, his grip tightening on the book that he tried to look invested in. “I’m not afraid of the dark, Roman. You’re projecting.”

“Then why are you sitting so close to the fireplace, and why did you light it in the first place?”

Janus sighed before giving Roman a look that suggested he already knew the answer. “Fire isn’t just bright, Roman. Surely you’re clever enough to piece it together.”

Roman ran it over in his head. Janus had shivered just now, but he didn’t look afraid. He definitely didn’t look comfortable, though.

“Are you cold?”

“Congratulations on solving today’s puzzle,” Janus teased, his tone now a mocking version of a game show host for a moment before returning to its usual sardonic state. “Why else did you think I’d have a massive fireplace in my room? It’s good to have a backup heat source, and besides, it does set a rather nice ambiance,” he explained.

Well, it did make sense. He was coldblooded, after all, and even if it’s not freezing right now, a sudden chill can’t be good for him since the weather had taken out the thermostat with the lights. Roman wordlessly summoned a blanket before tossing it over to Janus, only shrugging in a vague response when he looked up at him in confusion.

“I suppose I should thank you,” Janus muttered, not fully looking at him as he wrapped himself up in Roman’s offered blanket.

“If you want. If you do, though, I should probably apologize.”

“Do you want to?”

Roman didn’t know how to answer. Part of him wanted to put this whole mess behind the both of them so they could at least try to get along together, but another part of him was still far too bitter and stubborn to let go so soon. They had both hurt and been hurt, and that pain wasn’t going away any time soon, but he’d be willing to apologize as long as he wasn’t the only one doing it.

“How about we leave it unspoken, then?” Janus offered with a small but sincere smile.

Roman gave him a similar half-smile in return. “That works for me.”

Janus gave him a brief nod in agreement before returning to his spot on the page, now looking noticeably more comfortable and far less displeased.

Roman couldn’t help but smile to himself, partially at having earned some gratitude from Janus, but also at how endearing he looked while bundled up in one of Roman’s blankets. Roman didn’t expect to actually refer to Janus like that, but then again he didn’t think he’d wait out a power outage with him either. This whole situation was surprising, but Roman didn’t really mind.

“You’re staring again.”

Roman felt his face heat up, and most certainly not from the fire. “Do you want me to stop?”

“… Not really,” Janus muttered. Roman only just managed to catch the slight blush on his face.

The two sat in silence after that, but it was a comfortable one with none of the tension from before. The rain could still be heard outside, though it was considerably quieter now. The storm must be passing now, and with luck the power might return within the next few hours.

But on the off chance that it didn’t…

“I wouldn’t mind it,” Janus mumbled, almost like he didn’t want to say it out loud.

Roman leaned forward slightly, straining to hear him better. “What was that?”

Janus held the book higher over his face, as if he were hiding behind it. “I was saying that if, for whatever reason the power is out all night, you’d be allowed to stay over. I wouldn’t mind it.”

“Wait, really?”

“You’re sleeping on the floor, but yes.” Janus lowered the book again, staring at Roman. “Unless of course you’d rather be alone in your own dark room all night.”

“Absolutely not,” Roman replied, a little too hastily. “I mean, um, I’m not against staying over, as long as you’re fine with it. Thanks, I guess, for offering.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Janus gave him another subtle smile that Roman found himself returning, and he realized he wouldn’t mind it if the lights didn’t come back on right away. Spending a dark and stormy night like this with Janus might not be the worst thing in the world.

taglist:

@lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @britt-ish123 @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @holdnarrytight @new-zee-land @yuckypuppie @can-i-take-a-stab @keitaisghost