#pastor jim/sam

[holyfreaks]

have you ever thought abt sam/pastor jim ? it kind of reminds me of sastiel in that the dynamic revolves heavily around sam’s desire for purity but with more like. religious sexual abuse type stuff. idk they’ve been on the brain

-@transfemmesam

YESSS a truly underrated pairing to me

I haven't thought too much about them but I do agree that it's a good one!!!

I can't decide which one i like more: pastor jim grooming sam into being forgiven/being pure, or sam so desperate to be forgiven and be pure that he tries to seduce pastor jim

either way, yesss <3 sam and religious guilt my beloved

[homehauntsyou]

i like to think there was a period of time where sam had to say the lord's prayer every single night and couldn't fall asleep until he did because he thought dean and/or john would die if he forgot

[hbo--spn]

when did sam start praying everyday? why did sam start praying everyday?

[secondhandroad]

i actually think dean's greatest fear and greatest desire when sam was at stanford was for sam to Need Them and them not be there. he wants nothing more than to pick up the phone and it's sammy and he's broke/sick/scared/homeless/heartbroken/haunted and needs dean. and also that's the worst thing that he can imagine because it means he wasn't there when sam needed him to be

[perplexed-angel]

so when the brothers got older would John just leave them in a town for a month or so and hit a load of hunts nearby? Because most hunts only take a few days yet their only on their 3rd school of the year

[hoziernaturalevents]

He Feels No Control of His Body

Hozier song: Foreigner's God

Author: @withthekeyisking-writer

Artist: @amberdreams1960

Beta Reader: miajackswild

Main Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Lucifer, Pastor Jim, John Winchester

Pairing/s: Sam Winchester & Various

Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Sam Winchester's Bodily Autonomy Issues, Religious Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Introspection, Character Study, Time Skips

Summary: Sam Winchester has spent his entire life believing in a God and a Heaven that never believed in him in turn.

[italwayshadtobeyou]

The Winchesters' preacher friends

In "Salvation," when Meg goes scorched-earth on the Winchesters' friends, 2 of her first victims are preachers. At first glance, this seems odd, on two counts: First, most preachers would dismiss spells and ghosts as idolatry and heresy; and, second, John doesn't show any signs of religious devotion.

However, I think it does make sense when you think about how John would've been filtering his acquaintances. He knew lots of hunters, he just didn't make real friends with most of them, and he definitely didn't introduce several important ones (like Gordon and anyone at the Roadhouse) to Sam and Dean. As it turns out, many of the hunters we see are untrustworthy and physically attack Sam when they learn more about him: Gordon and Kubrick, Tim and Reggie, Walt and Roy.

John had his suspicions about Sam, and maybe had ever since Sam was six months old. (Did he see the blood on Sam's mouth? No one knows.) By "In My Time of Dying," he considers it a possibility that Sam would become dangerous enough to warrant killing.

Disturbing as that is, he clearly doesn't want Sam dead. From a practical standpoint, he could have killed Sam at pretty much any point. While living at Palo Alto, Sam's idea of self-defense was a wooden baseball bat. Even after he gets back on the road and reunites with John, Sam isn't prepared for an assassination attempt by his own father. He lets his guard down on multiple occasions, for example, while pacing back and forth in "Dead Man's Blood."

Yes, John thinks he might have to kill Sam-- a burden that he passes on to Dean in "In My Time of Dying"-- but it isn't plan A. He specifically tells Dean to kill Sam if he can't save him.

And who would be the likeliest allies in a salvation attempt? Preachers, probably. It isn't just a concept that they apply to hunting; it's their day job. Further, if they've attended seminaries, then they've probably read more ancient prophecies than John has himself. Preachers would probably among the first people to recognize prophecies becoming manifest, and among the last people to categorize Sam as beyond salvation.

So I don't think it's a coincidence that two of the hunters that the brothers knew growing up were preachers. I think that John was establishing as much of a safety net as he felt he could, while keeping shoot-now types from getting too close to Sam.

[magdaclaire]

something that makes me feel so attached to sam IS that complicated relationship with where he comes from and what he is. his abusive father made him the man he is today even when he's been dead for years

[sam-and-dean-codependency]

I always see people talking about early seasons Dean interacting with late seasons Sam and that's fun but sometimes I wonder about other characters. Obviously John is the main one but what about early Bobby? Pastor Jim? Jo? Ellen? Ash? Pamela? Heck even early Cas could have interesting opinions.

Idk I'm just having thoughts

[ladylilithprime]

Carry Over, Knit Three Together

Series: Fluff Is My Jamstiel

Fandom: Supernatural: 

Pairing: background Sastimmy/Jamstiel (Jimmy Novak/Sam Winchester/Castiel)

Rating: General to Teen and Up

Tags/Warnings: Witch Sam Winchester, Hunter Novak Brothers, Jimmy and Castiel Are Twins, Brief Allusions to Canon-Typical Violence, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Knitter Sam

Summary: Sam Winchester first learned to knit from a demon, not that he knew that at the time. Over the years, knitting played an important role in Sam's life and the lives of his loved ones, some in unexpected ways, but mostly just as signs of his care for them and them for him.

For: @fluffyfebruary challenge!

Prompt: Day 13: Pride

Read on AO3

WHEN SAM WAS seven years old, a demon had taught him how to knit.

He hadn't known at the time that the old woman who sat in the park near his school every day knitting was a demon, of course - he was seven and still being kept in the dark about what exactly his Dad did that had him hauling his sons all around the country and never staying in one place for long - so the smell of rotten eggs and vinegar under the heavy layer of rose perfume was just some weird old lady smell to him. And she was nice, friendly and gentle and always seemed to have a special smile and a kind word just for Sam. She had seemed surprised when he asked to learn how to do what she did with the yarn and the long needles that turned string into things to wear almost like magic, but she had patiently showed him how to cast on stitches two different ways, how to knit and purl, increase and decrease, and how to bind off, and when the Winchester family had abruptly picked up and taken off without warning, Sam still had a pair of fourteen inch needles and two small balls of yarn shoved into his backpack.

Dean caught him practicing, but never said a word about it to Dad, which was as good as approval from his brother. When the needles got lost somewhere in Alabama, Dean disappeared for a few hours a couple nights in a row, and when they reached Louisiana he waited until Dad had left before presenting Sam with a full set of ten inch metal knitting needles in several different sizes. The needles rested in a cloth case that could be rolled up to look like just another rolled shirt in Sam's backpack. There were five hand wound balls of yarn in different colors and sizes, too, colors that Sam remembered seeing in two of Dean's second-hand oversized sweaters. Dean actually blushed when Sam hugged him tight for the gift, mumbling under his breath for Sam to keep Dad from catching him "wasting time," and sat down to do his homework while Sam happily cast on fifteen stitches in red yarn on a set of size eight needles that fit into his hands much better than the old ones had. If Dad noticed the missing sweaters, or the sudden appearance of a red and brown striped scarf around Dean's neck when the weather turned colder up in Colorado later that year, he never said a word.

When Sam was almost nine, he met a witch for the first time while knowing she was a witch. She was also a knitter, and the small nine-year-old boy coming up to compliment her on her work and asking if she might teach him how to work with multiple colors at once had clearly delighted her. There was hardly any time for her to teach him much more than the basics of arranging the yarn for stranded knitting and how to make his own patterns with graph paper and colored pencils, but when Dean had come over to pull him away she had slipped him a hand-written book bound up in knitted twine and told him sternly to keep it safe, study it closely, and use it wisely to protect those dear to his heart. In the privacy of their hotel room under the bedsheets after Dad had passed out, Sam and Dean had looked through the book with a flashlight and discovered what kind of patterns it held.

Magic. Runes and spells and sigils and glyphs, all formed from knit and purl stitches, stranded color knitting, and even some embroidery, all slipped between more simple, decorative patterns of flowers and curls. Every single pattern was labeled, explained, and cross-referenced, and the descriptions of each one being for protection was what tipped the balance on Dean's decision to continue keeping Dad in the dark about Sam's knitting. Sam knew he checked the references listed where he could, too, and it made him feel better about learning the patterns, teaching himself how to make them look right by trying and ripping them out and trying again. He had remade Dean's old scarf with better yarn and protective runes worked into the tight weave, and then made one for himself that he wore constantly, even when he got really sick and was throwing up for nearly a week.

And then other things started happening. Little things at first, things that could have been dismissed or ignored if they didn't keep happening. Dreams of things that later turned out to be real. Moving small things without touching them, at first without thinking or meaning to but then more deliberately. Hearing whispers from Dean, things his brother would never say out loud and in fact wasn't even moving his lips, but Sam heard them anyway. That last one made him nervous enough to talk to Dean about it, and while Dean went really pale and quiet at first his thoughts were shouting how he didn't know how to protect Sam from this.

That was when Sam learned that Dean feared their father, truly feared him, not for his own sake but for Sam's.

The knitting actually helped a lot, the repetitive motions soothing and steady like a meditation to calm Sam's volatile teenage emotions. Then he found that if he focused his mind and sort of pushed his feelings into the stitches as he worked the patterns from the book there was a difference in the feel of them afterwards. Nothing different in the physical weave or tension, but a sense of purpose and cohesiveness to the pattern that settled into place when it was complete, like activating a spell or ward, and when that thought occurred to him Sam realized that was probably exactly what was happening. It was even more obvious when he caught that case in Flagstaff that couldn't wait for Dad and Dean to return and he ended up finding Bones, the feeling of the tentative familiar bond slipping into place with the makeshift collar he made for her finger-weaving a strip of parachute cord.

But it helped, and it kept helping to the point where Sam's fear of accidentally using his powers around Dad outweighed his fear of his Dad finding out he could knit. To the surprise of both boys, in a rare moment of openness and ease, their Dad admitted to them that a couple of the guys from his unit in Vietnam had known how to knit and how they'd always had the best, thickest socks without holes worn into them. Sam's hesitant admission of having been trying to work out how to knit socks even got him a thoughtful hum and the next time they were in a library to research for a hunt he was sent off to the crafts and hobbies section to find knitting books with patterns and instructions he could put under the photocopier.

He chose carefully, copying the full sets of instructions for sizing along with the most basic patterns, and then he knit himself a cover for his new pattern book out of some stolen twine. More old sweaters got added to their infrequent clothes shopping since they were still cheaper to get than full skeins of yarn and was frequently thinner and better for practicing making socks. Sam even earned the first proud smile and praise from his Dad that wasn't related to hunting in any way by presenting him with a pair of carefully worked striped socks made to fit his feet as close as he could manage. That praise kindled warmth in Sam's chest through many, many future weeks and months of the Return of the Drill Sergeant.

The warmth wasn't enough when the Drill Sergeant got drunk enough to pull his gun on Sam amid confused shouts and accusations of demonic influence, and when the gun had gone off and Sam had seen the look in his father's eyes as he reflexively stopped the bullet with his powers that warmth died. And then Dean was hitting their father over the head and knocking him out, helping him scramble to pack everything he could into a duffel bag, and finally using the Impala to drive his still shaking little brother to the bus station and put him on the next bus leaving for Minnesota and Pastor Jim's church in Blue Earth. Sam had pressed his face to the window of the bus and watched Dean standing in the dark watching the bus leave until he couldn't see him anymore. Then he'd cried for three state lines while stubbornly knitting the anti-possession ward into a hat that he gave to Pastor Jim when the man collected him at the bus station.

He had cried into Bones's fur, too, when he was reunited with his familiar, letting that bond soothe the ache inside him at the separation from Dean and the knowledge that he could probably never go back. Then he got to work, with Pastor Jim's help, creating a new identity and school transcripts and getting himself enrolled at school one town over, staying with an elderly woman Pastor Jim knew who didn't mind pretending to be his maternal grandmother and sole legal guardian of "Sam Wesson" to the school in exchange for some help around the house and yard. When "Nanna MacKenzie" had found out he could knit, she had insisted he keep it up, even giving him extra pocket money to buy different sizes and types of needles, taking him to the local yarn shop for his first non-salvage yarn, even patting his back in sympathy when he nearly choked on his own tongue at some of the prices. She had given him two ridiculously expensive gifts of a full set of Knitter's Pride interchangeable circular needles for his eighteenth birthday and a $200 gift certificate to the yarn shop when he got his acceptance letter to Stanford with a full ride scholarship.

"You and that good girl of yours take care of each other," she had told him as she saw him and Bones in her trim "service dog" vest onto the plane out to California with a hand to his cheek. "If I'd ever been blessed to find someone worth having children or grandchildren with, I hope they would have been even half as sweet and caring as you. You be sure and write to tell me how you're getting on, hear me?"

Sam had promised, and he had kept that promise all through the first half of his freshman year when his last letter came back unopened followed by a note from Pastor Jim saying that Nanna MacKenzie had passed away. The school had been very understanding about letting Sam go "home" for her funeral and the reading of her will. Most of his professors had also been understanding when he was less than his best for a couple weeks after returning. It took time, and a concerted effort from his friends in the campus New Age club and the Stanford Stitch'n'Bitch before he was able to regain his equilibrium, just in time for his roommate, Tyson Brady, to come home with a demon hitchhiker.

Sam's knitted Devil's Trap rug held him in place while Sam recited exorcism after exorcism until he finally got fed up with the demon's sneering taunts and just reached out with his mind and yanked. To this day, he was never entirely sure how or why that had worked when he hadn't known what he was doing, but it had, and it had let him slap a knitted wristband with the anti-possession ward onto Brady's wrist before rushing him to the hospital for the injuries the demon had left him with. Even when his forays into magic moved into first herbs and then mixing potions, when his powers flared and needed more thorough training than the campus group could give him and he ended up in contact with a psychic named Pamela Barnes who taught him more about control and shielding than he had been able to glean before, he still returned over and over to knitting and that first well-worn and well-loved book of patterns with wards and rune clusters.

Knitting had carried Sam through a lot, both good and bad, and he in turn had used his knitting to help carry his friends and family through sorrows and joys. The origin of those first lessons didn't bother him, because - much like his powers - the demons only had as much influence over those skills that he allowed them. He had used those powers and those knitting skills both to save others, people very much like him with powers that they didn't understand and literal demons nipping at their heels along with the more figurative everyday demons. His brother had even credited the pairs of knitted socks he sent him every year through Pastor Jim with having saved his life more than once.

And seeing his friends and lovers, John Castiel and James Constantine Novak proudly wearing sweaters and scarves and hats that he had knit for them over the last few years they had been together would always fill him with a warmth that would never unravel.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

by A. Duke, J. Hamilton, S. Emadi | In this episode of Bible Talk, Alex Duke chats with Jim Hamilton and Sam Emadi about Judges 13–14. They discuss Samson, Israel’s surprising, set-apart, and sinful savior.

[submarinerwrites]

how did we go from “i do pray every day. i have for a long time” to sam literally saying hes only been to confession once.

[hippychick006]

A++++ casting, would love to have seen more from their relationship.

Dude, I full-on Swayze'd that mother.

2.01 In My Time Of Dying

[soft-pine]

Timeline of Every Anecdote from Dean's Childhood in Supernatural (Full Canon Only)

My other timeline includes stuff from some of the pseudo canonical materials. This one includes only things that happen or are mentioned in the show itself.

winc*sties this is still not for you!

Still super open to feedback and suggestions if I missed something.

Content notes: death, child abuse, alcohol

1983

Dean is 4

John & Mary used to call Dean their “little piglet” because he liked to eat so much. [13.21 (this is technically in a dream of Sam's)]

Mouse Trap is Dean's favorite game. [14.17]

Mary would feed Dean tomato-rice soup when he was sick. [5.13]

Mary would sing "Hey Jude" as a lullaby. [5.13]

Dean really likes Mary's meatloaf. He doesn't know she gets it from Piggly Wiggly. [12.02]

Between May and November John and Mary had a fight and John left home for a few days. [5.16]

November 2 - Mary Winchester dies, Sam is 6 months old. [1.01, 1.21]

Mary's uncle arranges a burial and headstone even though she doesn't have a body. [2.04]

Dean doesn't speak for a while after Mary dies. [1.03]

John Meets Missouri. [1.09]

John leaves a box of pictures in the basement of the house. [1.09]

1984

Dean is 5

1985

Dean is 6

John takes Dean out shooting for the first time, using bottles as target practice. According to Dean, he "bullseyed every one of them." Dean remembers this story as him being “6 or 7." Dean cites this story as one of the fonder memories of his father. [2.06 (date suggested by John's Journal)]

Rufus spent the whole year being nice. It was the worst year of his life. [7.10]

1986

Dean is 7

Dean starts having a crush on Daisy Duke. [11.13]

Bill Harvelle dies. [2.06, 2.14 (year suggested by John's Journal)]

John began the masked vampire case - looking into killings and kidnappings along Route 77. [15.20]

1987

Dean is 8

John takes Dean and Sam on a donkey ride at the Grand Canyon. Dean’s donkey farts a lot which Sam finds very funny. [8.21]

Dean has begun hunting. [11.08]

1988

Dean is 9

John is hunting a Shtriga in Wisconsin when he leaves Sam and Dean alone in a hotel room. Dean gets bored and goes out and comes back to find the Shtriga attacking Sammy but can't steady himself in time to fire at it. John comes back but can only scare the Shtriga off. [1.18]

They know Pastor Jim by this point. [1.18]

Dean: "You couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, 'Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know.... I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job...'" [2.22]

Dean and Sam (5) play dress up as Batman and Superman and jump of the roof of a shed. Sam breaks his arm and Dean takes him to the E.R. on the handlebars of his bike. [9.15 (mentioned again in 11.08)]

At some point before now Dean is given his first beer by Fred Jones in Salt Lake City. [8.08. He also apparently gives Sam his first beer too but it's unlikely it was this same time?]

1989

Dean is 10

“When I was 10, I got my first B&E from borrowing some family's pay-per-view so I could watch the cage match between you and the Tower of Power.” [11.15]

Bobby takes Dean to play catch instead of “practice with the double-barrel” as John had instructed Dean. In the flash back Rufus guesses the year is around 1989. “No, we didn't shoot rifles, as a matter of fact. We threw a ball around. He's a kid, John. They both are. They're entitled.... Yeah, I know I ain't their dad.” Bobby hangs up and throws the phone down. [7.10]

1980s General

(i.e. there isn't a specific date mentioned for this but I'm guessing from context that it happened in this decade)

Sam sticks army men into Baby's ashtray. [5.22]

Dean sticks Legos into the vents. [5.22]

Dean eating all of Sam's Halloween candy sometime. [12.11 & 14.04]

John taking them to see World of Wrestling. Sometime before Dean is ten. Dean calls it “one of the nicest things” John ever did. Sam remembers John getting drunk. [11.15] ("The Hangman": "He was Dad's favorite. Anytime that noose would come out, Dad would be on his feet. It was one of the few times I ever saw him actually happy.")

John takes Dean fishing. When Dean tells Jack, Jack feels from his tone that it's his happiest memory of John. [5]

Dean telling Sam a stupid joke to distract him from ripping off bandaids when he was little. [15.01]

The first beer John shared with Dean tasted like "crap". [15.20]

Sam's memory of Thanksgivings: “We had a bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch. [5.16]

Dean: "I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up." [1.22]

Dean says he believed the TV ads about Sea Monkeys having families [5.06]

Dean mentions a babysitter, Mrs Chancy, who was obsessed with the TV show Dynasty [5.06], which ran until 1989 when Dean was ten. This could be a lie he's just telling a kid to get him to open up about his babysitter though.

"Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make." [8.21]

"You used to read to me, um, when I was little, I— I mean, really little, from that— from that old, uh... Classics Illustrated comic book. You remember that? ... Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face..." [8.21]

“You used to take us hunting. Remember? Dad had a case, he'd just dump us on you. Shoot, you must have taught us most of the outdoor tracking we know.” Bobby: “Yeah, what I could get to stick. I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.” Dean: “You’re talking about Bambi, man.” Bobby: “You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.” [7.09]

“Not young like I was when he actually taught me how to drive.” [15]

Dean says soft rock always put Sam to sleep. [7.16]

Dean talks about learning 101 different ways to make Mac 'n Cheese for Sam at a motel in Scranton while John was off hunting. "ketchup for spice, hmm? Uh, tuna, hot dogs, fluff marshmallow mix." [10.11]

1990

Dean is 11

January - John is injured on a hunt in Windom, Minnesota, and goes to the hospital, where he meets Kate Milligan. [4.19]

September 29 - Adam Milligan is born. [4.19]

At some point Dean makes a sawed off. He's in sixth grade. [3.03]

Dean tries burgers from a seaside shack in Delaware that become his favorite. [4.22]

1991

Dean is 12

December 25 - Sam and Dean are at a motel in Broken Bow, Nebraska while John hunts. Sam reads John's Journal and finds out that Mary's death was supernatural, monsters are real, and that John hunts them. He confronts Dean, who confirms it. Sam gives Dean an amulet. [3.08]

1992

Dean is 13

John buys a Playboy featuring Anna-Nicole Smith, eventually both boys end up reading it. [7.22]

June - Sam tells John he is afraid of the monster in his closet and John gives him a .45. [1.01]

Sam wants to go hunting with Dean. Dean says John said no. John calls to ask Sam to come. [11.08]

1993

Dean is 14

January – Motel Baba Yaga case. Dean says, “I was babysitting you when I was your age”. Sam says "I'm pretty sure that's illegal." Dean sees the nest, a pile of dead kids and has "nightmares about it for the longest time." [15.16]

1994

Dean is 15

Summer - Sam and Dean spend part of the summer being looked after by Donna, a babysitter (and maid at the Mayflower) in Housatonic, Massachusetts, while John hunts. At one pointJohn is gone for two weeks. It is the summer before Sam enters 6th grade, and he assigns himself a summer reading list. Dean possibly has a crush on Donna. [5.12]

October - They are living In Bismark (North Dakota?). Sam has a crush on Andrea Howell & has a really bad experience at her Halloween party, throwing up. Sam hides in the woods until Dean comes and gets him. [14.04]

Sam still believes in the Easter Bunny until close to here. [10.12]

1995

Dean is 16

Dean's first Werewolf. Sam doesn't go to the body burning. "So. I pick up this crossbow. And I hit that ugly sucker with a silver-tipped arrow right in his heart. Sammy's waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of." [2.03]

Dean spends two months at Sonny's Home for Boys after being caught shoplifting. [9.07]

April 20 - Dean's award for New York Wrestling Champion. [9.07]

November 13 – Sam's soccer team won division championship. John keeps the trophy. [3.03]

Sam later talks about how John was upset with him for wanting to play soccer instead of learning bowhunting. [1.08]

November 24 - Sam has his first traditional Thanksgiving dinner at his crush Stephanie’s house. He has been attending a school called McKinley for two weeks. [5.16]

1996

Dean is 17

July 4 - Dean and Sam set off fireworks in a field and almost burn it down. [5.16]

At some point when Sam was 13 he ran away for two weeks while under Dean's watch in Flagstaff, Arizona, living off pizza in a cabin and befriending a dog he called Bones. Dean scoured the whole town looking for him and worried he might have died, and John was furious when he found out. [5.16]

1997

Dean is 18

When he's 13, Sam briefly wants to be a magician. [4.12]

Summer - The Winchesters hunt a werewolf. [4.13]

November - Sam and Dean attend Truman High in Fairfax, Indiana, for 3 or 4 weeks, while John is on a hunt that was originally supposed to be 2 weeks but ended up taking longer than expected. Dean is in 12th Grade. It is the third school they have attended since September. [4.13]

1998

Dean is 19

Sam is a mathlete. [4.04]

Summer - While John and Dean are off hunting a Kitsune, Sam stays in Lincoln, Nebraska, and does research for them. While there, he meets a girl and has his first kiss - only to discover that John and Dean's hunt has circled back on him. [7.03]

July - Dean goes on a solo "five states in five days" road trip, but ends up spending most of it in Cicero, Indiana, with Lisa Braeden. In the meantime, John & Sam "tie up a hunt" in Orlando, Florida. [3.02]

Dean meets Rhonda Hurley, she makes him try on her pink, satin panties and he likes it. [5.04]

At some point they spend time with Travis, the hunter. [4.04]

1999

Dean is 20

1990s General

Dean trying to cook Winchester Surprise on a hotplate with food (baloney and sliced cheese) that it seems Sam shoplifted in the rain. John gets home and throws it out. [14.11] In Lebanon John tells Sam he remembers this and apologizes to Sam for it. [14.13]

Sam and Dean visited the Cleveland Botanical Gardens on a field trip. [5.16]

Dean going to CBGB "way underage" and John coming to get him. [10.09]

Hunting the chupacabra in Mexico. Sam is an olderish teenager when he says this happened the year before. [11.10]

John making Dean be bait. [14.14 production draft. Corroborated by 1.20. Putting this in 1990s and not 1980s is very generous imo.]

Dean used to live on “Nerve Damage” (“10 times the legal limit of caffeine”) as a kid. [13.08]

Escalating prank wars? [1.17] Sam mentions a time Dean put superglue in his toothpaste [15.06]

Could be 80s too: Dean: “Remember that wreath Dad brought home that one year?” Sam: “You mean the one he stole from, like, a liquor store?” Dean: “Yeah, it was a bunch of empty beer cans. That thing was great.” [3.08]

Sam performing in Our Town. [1.16]

Sam talks about having to make his own dinner as a kid. [5.06]

2000

Dean is 21

2001

Dean is 22

Sam smokes weed maybe. [11.19]

Pre-2002, 2000s General

Sam & Dean driving 1,000 miles for an Ozzy show. [5.22]

Driving two days for a Jayhawks game. [5.22]

John catches Lee and Dean 'wasted' on a hunt. [15.17]

John plays Dean and Lee “Good Ol Boys” before hunts. “Listen up boys this is real music. [15.17]

Sam used to try to get him & Dean to do 'honest work' rather than hustling pool. [5.22]

The Las Vegs annual trip. [7.08]

Sam ran tech for a production of Oklahoma. [10.05]

John gives Dean the Impala. [1.20] (John's Journal suggests this was on Dean's 18th birthday which would have been 1997.)

2002

Dean is 23

John gives Sam the "hunting is life; you can't have connections" speech. [4.19]

Sam says he's leaving hunting to go to Stanford University. John says if he leaves to stay gone. [1.01, 1.20]

September - Adam Milligan meets John Winchester. [4.19] (This could be any time from now til 2003 but I think it would be now because John will want to feel he can replace Sam or do something right.)

Post-2002, 2000s General

Dean sleeps with Annie. [7.19]

Dean sees Lee while Sam's in college. [15.17] Possibly the 'cult thing in Arizona' 'what that thing did to that family, those kids.' Because Lee does one more job after that in Texas and retires.

At some point Dean hunts a Vetala and learns they usually hunt in pairs. [7.11]

At some point Dean hunts a succubus with Richie. [3.04]

Poltergeist case in Kittanning, PA. [1.04]

John teaches Adam to drive using the Impala (this is after John gave Dean the car for his 18th). He also teaches Adam poker and pool. [4.19]

John "used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on [Sam]. Make sure [Sam was] safe." [1.08] because he was worried Sam was "alone, vulnerable'' [1.20] and "he was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around." [1.08]

2003

Dean is 24

Dean dates Cassie Robinson. She breaks up with Dean after Dean tells her about hunting. [1.13] It lasts less than two months. [5.11]

June 21 - Dean is involved in a hunt for the father of Cole Trenton, in Nyack, NY. [10.02]

John gets taken from this year into the future in "Lebanon." He is sleeping in the Impala and Dean calls him and he tells him he'll be back soon. [14.13]

2004

Dean is 25

September 29 - John takes Adam to a ballgame for his 14th birthday. [4.19]

2005

Dean is 26, dude.

September 29 - John buys Adam a beer when he's 15. [4.19]

Roughly October 10 - John cuts off contact with Dean. [1.01]

October 31 – Dean comes to get Sam. [1.01]

Dean: "I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't... I didn't know what... What you would say. I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. And I don't know what I would've done... if I didn't have you. 'Cause I was so scared." [15.20]

General Comments

(i.e. just quotes and things that are too general to place at a specific time. i've sorted them roughly into themes but all of these themes are also present in incidents above.)

Dean says he's been wanting John and Mary back together since he was four. [14.13]

John's absence

Sam: "You remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the Devil's Gates in Clifton? He was missing then, too. He's always missing, and he's always fine." [1.01]

Dean mentions how John would dump him and Sam at Bobby's. [7.09]

Toni Bevell saying about John's drunken rages and weeks of abandonment. Also pointing out that Dean & Sam didn't tell Mary about it. [12.21]

Sam says John would be gone for weeks at a time and "he wasn't exactly a monk." [4.19]

Sam says John "was not around much." [11.05]

Sam talks about worrying when John & Dean would be out on a hunt and he wouldn't hear from them for days. He thought about what he would do. [11.18]

John's drinking

In the pilot Sam comments that John is likely missing because he's drinking. [1.01]

Sam comments that a dad bringing their kid to a wrestling match to distract them while he drinks seems familiar. [11.15]

See also the above [12.21]

Young Sam says John has a temper and you don't want to see him when he's drinking [7.03]

John's parental control

Sam talks about how John was angry with him for not wanting to learn to bowhunt or hustle pool and instead wanting to go to school and live his life. [1.08]

Dream!Dean: "You can still hear your Dad's voice in your head, can't you? Clear as a bell. I mean, think about it …all he ever did is train you, boss you around. But Sam …. Sam he doted on. Sam, he loved. Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?" [3.10]

Dean: "My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family." [3.10]

Dean: “And I get what I've been doing lately, you know, what with the yelling and the acting like a prison guard. It's just, that's not me. You tell yourself you're not gonna be something, you know? But my dad was exactly like this. All the time. It's scaring the hell out of me.” [6.02]

Martin alludes to the fact that John would disapprove of Dean's connection to Benny and Sam's patience with it and "he'd have a mind to take you both out behind the woodshed and show you what's what." [8.09]

Tara also mentions that John would not approve of Dean working with Crowley [9.11]

Sam: “his drill sergeant thing worked with you but it didn't work with me.” [13.04]

“You know kids, no matter what they still want the old man's approval” about an abusive dad. Dean agrees to it. [13.02]

Dean: “I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.” [14.12]

Difficult childhoods

Talking about Charlie as a teenager, Dean says, "Dude. If a shrink interviewed us at that age, you think the report would be all kittens and rainbows?" [10.11]

Cas says, "You were both troubled teens." [10.19]

Dean says he & Sam could have benefited from a mother's dating advice. [11.12]

Sam: "And when we were kids how many times did we tell dad we were fine just to make him happy?!" [14.16]

Dean drinks to “crappy childhoods”. [10.12]

Sam: "I had a kind of lonely childhood." [11.08]

Sam: "I had a messed up childhood." [14.04]

Dean's parentified role

Sam: “I wish I could have that kinda innocence.” Dean: “If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.” [1.18]

John: “You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say 'It's okay, Dad'... You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.” [2.01]

Dean: "And I… I had to be… more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it." [12.21]

See also 1988 above [2.22]

Food scarcity

Sam says explicitly that they had to hustle pool to eat. [15.11] Additionally, Sam says John made them learn to hustle pool. [1.08]

Travis: "you ever been really hungry? I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?" Dean: a 'yeah' so emphatic his voice cracks. Sam: silence. [4.04]

The future

Sam: “Dad always said it was temporary, Dean. He said it for 22 years.” [6.02]

Dean's allusions to liking dancing/wanting to be a dancer. [7.16, 15.20]

Dean: “Jo, you've got options. No one in their right mind chooses this life. My dad started me in this when I was so young... I wish I could do something else... Jo, you've got a mother that worries about you. Who wants something more for you. Those are good things. You don't throw things like that away. Might be hard to find later.” [2.06]

Dean: "You know, ever since you were a kid, you wanted to live in a town like this. Lame, normal…" [15.04]

Dean gets his GED [5.01]

See also 1980's general [1.22]

John spends Dean and Sam's college funds on ammo [1.20]

Hunting

John saying hunter gatherings were trouble and in general keeping Sam & Dean away from them. [2.03, 12.06]

Dean says he and John weren't using disguises for hunting. [1.09]

Sam saying it seemed to him Dean & John bonded over hunting. [12.20]

Dean learned to use CB radios to look for leads from truckers. John used them all the time. [13.11]

“I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing Pop Rocks and Coke—protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it...the more I wish Dad had lied to us.” [5.06]

Gordon Walker meets John "Hell of a guy. Great hunter." [2.03]

John maintains connections with Caleb, Jefferson, and Pastor Jim. Caleb sometimes supplies him with munitions [1.11]

John hunts with and then has a falling out with Daniel Elkins [1.20]

John hunts with and hooks up with Tara but never calls her back. [9.11]

At some point, John and Bobby have a falling out and Bobby threatens to shoot John if he ever sees him again [1.21]

TV

“Growing up on the road, no matter where Dad dragged us, no matter what we did, there was always a TV. And you know what was on that TV? Scooby and the gang.” [13.16]

Dean: “Ah well, growing up it was a… it was always nice to check out once in a while. I like to watch movies where I know the bad guy is going to lose.” [14.04]

The Hustler was John's favorite movie [15.11]

(for the record, I didn't sort and collate every comment about john or their childhoods here. i mostly tried to pick one which were a little bit more detailed rather than just general attitudes. but if you want to see all comments made about john throughout the show, click here)

[secondhandroad]

i just think dean would be soooo weird about it if sam dated/hooked up with men. women are transient in their world, they are victims/one-night-stands, they are barely people. but a man? their whole world is men. men are bobby and pastor jim and caleb. men are john, and dean himself. a man could be a stand in dean!! and that must be stopped!!!

[kaleldobrev]

Never the Favorite

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Platonic Pairing: Sam Winchester & F. Reader

Summary: You finally try and set the record straight

Word Count: 844

Warnings: Cursing (1x)

Authors Note: Takes place during season one | Something that always got me, is whenever Sam said something along the lines of Dean being the favorite child. Like Sam, he wasn’t and it was pretty clear so that’s what I based this fic on | Let me know if you like the new way I have formatted | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

It was another classic Sam and Dean argument — Sam telling Dean how he was never the favorite child growing up and how Dean actually was; and how much of a black sheep of the family Sam had felt because he didn't want to go into the family business. It was an argument and a sentiment that you were so used to hearing at this point that you could pretty much recite word for word their replies. The boys were starting to sound like broken records, and you and Dean had only picked up Sam from Stanford a few months ago.

You didn't want to get involved in their argument as you felt like it wasn't really your place, but there was a part of you that started to get annoyed with Sam, because you knew that Dean was never the favorite — Sam always was. You knew how hard Dean had tried over the years to try and get his father's approval, but it was approval that he would never be able to get, no matter how hard he tried. It killed you inside, because you loved Dean for who he truly was, not who he was pretending to be.

But because you had heard this argument so many times, you had told yourself that you were finally going to say something to Sam; to try and stop this argument once and for all.

Parking Baby and cutting the engine, Dean pulled out his wallet from the glove compartment, pulling out a crumpled up 20 that he won from a poker game a few nights ago. “Gonna grab some snacks. Either of you want anything?” He asked before turning to you. “Want your usual chocolate anything?”

You gave him a small smile. “Yes please. And orange soda if they have it.”

“Getting you the bottle this time. ‘Cause I don’t want another spilling incident like last time with the can,” he said, giving you a wink. “How about you?” He asked, turning to Sam.

“I’m good thanks,” Sam nodded, before pulling out his phone and promptly started checking his e-mail.

“Alrighty,” Dean said, getting out of the car. “Be back in ten.”

As soon as Dean was out of eyeshot and earshot, you sat up closer to the passenger side where Sam was, placing a hand on the back of the seat. “Hey, I know he’s your brother and the whole point of brothers is basically being assholes to each other but, I really need you to lay off the whole Dean being the favorite stuff.”

Sam turned to you, placing his phone in his lap; the look he gave you was of pure confusion. “But he is the favorite. Always has, always will be. I know you probably wouldn’t know that consider —”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” you began, slight attitude in your voice. “I’ve been hunting with Dean and your father for about a year now, and let me tell you, I didn’t need to be around for your childhoods to know that you were and are still the very clear favorite.”

“Me? The favorite?” He scoffed. “I don’t think so.”

You rolled your eyes. “Did it ever occur to you why he’s so similar to your dad? Why he barely shows any of his actual interests around anyone but me? Dean wears his jacket, listens to the same music, says the same phrases.”

“But…that’s how Dean always has been," Sam stated. For as long as he could remember, that's always how he remembered Dean, being so similar to their father. Memories flashed before him, recalling numerous times where him and his father sang along to Zeppelin during one of their many insanely long car rides to Pastor Jim's, or how Dean would refuse to go anywhere without their father's leather jacket.

"You really know nothing about your brother do you?" You asked him, slight sadness and hurt entering your voice. You hadn't known for very long, but you had known him long enough for him to start letting you in and getting to know the real him, and not the facade he let everyone else believe. "The only reason Dean acts like your father is because in his mind, if he acts like him he'll get the approval he always wanted that you never had to try and get." You felt your blood start to boil. "So please stop with the fucking favorite argument okay? I'm sick and tired of it."

Sam was silent for a moment, as he's never seen you this angry before nor has he ever seen you this defensive of anyone. As much as he wanted to disagree with you, he knew that he couldn't because he clearly didn't know Dean the way that you did. He might of spent 18 years of his life on the road with him, but he didn't actually know him. "Okay," he finally said, slightly sighing.

"Just...don't tell Dean I said any of this to you okay?" You asked him, slightly patting his shoulder.

"Of course," he said, slightly smiling.

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