#parte 1 de 8!!

[filhasdeumbra]

Perna de Pau

20 momentos durante 20 anos, ou uma tentativa de explorar este personagem enquanto preso no purgatório

a dor não fala a língua da gentileza, mas é fluente em seus gritos

AVISO: O texto a seguir apresenta algumas descrições gráficas e possivelmente perturbadoras

0: O Halloween não é uma festa comumente comemorada no Brasil, e uma cidade pequena e isolada como Sococó da Ema não deveria dar tanta importância para celebrações estrangeiras. No entanto, cidades do interior tem suas peculiaridades, e a de Sococó da Ema é seu fascínio pelo macabro — as festas de Halloween são maiores e mais esperadas que as do Natal. Não que isso te incomode, é claro. Como habitante nativo de Sococó da Ema, você gosta do oculto e sombrio tanto quanto gosta dos doces da Jumenta Voadora (e porque uma mulher tão simpática teria um nome que soa tão mal vai além da sua capacidade de compreensão). Por isso, neste ano, sua fantasia é o produto final de mais de um mês de trabalho: um boneco voodoo em tamanho infantil. Sua mãe ajudou na confecção, mas você tem orgulho de poder dizer que fez quase tudo sozinho. Se soubesse dos eventos que iriam transparecer, você não sentiria nenhuma emoção positiva; Uma hora você e seus amigos estão andando pela floresta, animados com as festividades, e no momento seguinte há uma criança trajando um crânio de jumento correndo na sua direção. Há gritos de susto, e então de dor quando alguém tropeça e abre o joelho em uma pedra, e então… E então do mais puro pavor, quando o branco do osso vai desaparecendo penhasco abaixo, em direção ao rio que seus pais sempre lhe avisaram que era perigoso demais para nadar. Você tem pesadelos com esses gritos por semanas, até, é claro que você se torna o pesadelo: você agora é um filho de Umbra, e seu nome é Perna de Pau.

1: A pior parte de se estar morto (ou, como Dona Morte explicou, em estado de suspensão no eterno purgatório), é que você é incapaz de sentir. Não sentimentos, porque a entidade que os colocou ali provavelmente se deleita com seu sofrimento, mas sim qualquer coisa física. Sejam abraços ou empurrões, a queimação de ter água em seus pulmões ou do sagrado sal, você não sente nada. Nada além da culpa, é claro, porque cada toque nocivo que você tentou infligir em si mesmo em uma busca desesperada por conexão, foi redirecionado e ampliado para os seus amigos. Dói, ver eles sofrendo, mas não tanto quanto dói a falta do seu sofrimento.

2: A cidade renomeou a festa. Agora, ao invés de Halloween, é o Dia da Jumenta Voadora. Há uma certa ironia nisso, no fato que é a homenageada que causou e ainda irá causar tanta destruição, mas você não possui o gosto por drama de Absinto ou a facilidade com metáforas de Bailarina, então não comenta nada.

3: As buscas por você e seus amigos finalmente cessaram, as autoridades perdendo a esperança de lhes acharem com vida ou até mesmo sem. Há muitos lugares para crianças se perderem na floresta, e vocês são uma mera nota de rodapé na festança daquele ano.

4: Constroem um memorial, algo simbólico, algo bonito, algo que cimenta ainda mais a marca da Serpente. Você não consegue sentir que está chorando quando vê seus pais levarem flores para o túmulo vazio, e tampouco consegue sentir o toque de Absinto em seu ombro na tentativa de confortá-lo. Ao invés disso, Sangria fica passando as mãos nas bochechas secas e Violinista inclina a cabeça na direção do toque fantasma.

5: Você costumava odiar sentir dor, o tipo de criança que esperneava pelo medo de tomar uma picada de agulha no posto de saúde.

6: Assim como todos os outros, você está aprendendo a controlar seus poderes. Quando Absinto acidentalmente ateia fogo em você, os gritos de dor de Viúva duram meros minutos antes da sensação ser transportada para um cidadão aleatório.

7: Não é raro que o encontrem observando a luz da Lua de cima do penhasco onde tudo começou, mas é raro que você tenha companhia. A presença de Bailarina não o pertuba, mas vocês nunca foram os mais próximos e depois de sua entrada em Umbra, com sua inabilidade de sentir qualquer coisa física, você só fez se retrair mais. Então é sim, de certa forma, surpreendente que ela inicie uma conversa: “Você sente falta de sentir dor?” ela pergunta. “Você sente falta de saber o que é real?” você retruca, as palavras saindo mais afiadas do que o intencionado. As próximas palavras a saírem da boca da dançarina são outra surpresa, mas dessa vez você arriscaria dizer que uma agradável.

8: Há um animal agonizando na estrada, um tordo que se emaranhou nos fios de luz e telefone e foi eletrocutado, mas não até a morte. Você não consegue não invejá-lo.

9: Suas idas ao penhasco são tão frequentes quanto sempre foram, mas dessa vez a presença de Bailarina é costumeira. Vocês se encaram, a Lua banhando pele que mais parece porcelana, e você sabe que ela teve um dia ruim, que Sangria teve que remexer o sangue coagulado dentro de Bailarina para que ela conseguisse diferenciar o real do ilusório, então você oferece que ela vá primeiro. É fácil se machucar quando você não sente dor, os receios da sua época de humano agora meros murmúrios, e quando Bailarina chora por conta da sensação de ossos quebrados, você sabe que a maior parte das lágrimas são de gratidão.

10: Faz uma década, e a história da Jumenta Voadora foi tão deturpada que agora vendem pelúcias do animal e forasteiros passam dias na cidade para aproveitar as atrações. O memorial que fizeram para você e seus amigos foi esquecido, não passando de troncos de madeira apodrecidos pela chuva e pelo Sol. O aniversário de dez anos atrai mais atenção que o normal, e é assim que um grupo de adolescentes embriagados acaba esbarrando  no pequeno cemitério vazio. A destruição que eles causam não é muita, mas faz Viúva, que criou um certo apego por tudo que representa os mortos, ainda mais os indigentes, chorar. Você e Absinto mal precisam trocar um olhar antes que ele esteja lançando o meteoro em sua direção e os adolescentes estejam uivando de dor no chão.

11: Porta-Voz se tornou ciente de seus encontros com Bailarina, ele não diz exatamente se aprova ou desaprova, então vocês tomam isso como permissão para continuar. Um dia, logo após Bailarina ter deixado sua mente, ele aparece, diz ter uma ideia, algo que ajudaria ambos. Você não sente a dor dele quando ele o possui, mesmo que esteja direcionando com precisão a dor de um pulmão perfurado para o líder de vocês. Ele se desculpa por não poder ajudar mais, mas você se sente grato só pelo fato dele tentar. É uma rara emoção positiva.

12: Você e Absinto estão conversando quando ele menciona por alto o fato de que já se acostumou com a dor de estar em chamas. Você tenta não invejá-lo, ele é seu melhor amigo, afinal, mas o sentimento é impossível de conter. Se ele nota sua distância nos próximos dias, não menciona em voz alta.

13: Viúva tem um favor a lhe pedir, e você não recusaria mesmo se não fosse por uma causa nobre, mas é, e isso torna o “Sim” que sai de sua boca ainda mais fácil de pronunciar. O cadáver que ela ressuscitou, a carcaça de uma garota que não poderia ser mais muito mais velha que a própria Viúva quando vocês morreram, o tortura por 8 dias e 8 noites. Ela provavelmente continuaria por mais tempo, não que você fosse se importar, mas Violinista aparece no oitavo dia e anuncia que o homem para quem você estava direcionando a dor morreu, corda no pescoço. A garotinha morta-viva lhe agradece com o que você imagina que seja o equivalente dos mortos de lágrimas nos olhos.

14: Dessa vez, a pessoa que se intromete em suas sessões com Bailarina é Sangria. Não é tão surpreendente assim vê-la ali, não com a proximidade que ela tem com Bailarina, mas ouvir que ela está lá por você e não pela sua amiga o deixa sim um pouco chocado. Ela manipula seu sangue de tal maneira que você tem certeza que, se não fossem por seus poderes, você estaria agonizando no chão. Infelizmente, isso não acontece, e vocês não cumprem o objetivo daquela noite. Sangria, assim como Porta-Voz fez anos atrás, diz lamentar não ser de maior ajuda, mas você reafirma que ela já fez mais do que o suficiente. A quentura que se espalha em seu peito com as palavras dela é quase tão boa quanto realmente sentir dor novamente.

15: Violinista o avisa com antecedência, mas ainda sim é doloroso ver o caixão com sua mãe ser rebaixado sete palmos. Não é o tipo de dor que você busca faz tanto tempo, mas quase faz você duvidar se vale a pena reconquistá-la. 

16: É estranho como você, de certa forma, sempre esteve ciente disso, mas é só 9 anos depois que você percebe que Bailarina não precisa da sua ajuda como você precisa dela. Ela tem Sangria à sua disposição, e Porta-Voz certamente também a ajudaria, caso ela pedisse, então após se dar conta desse fato, você não consegue entender porque ela escolheu você. Quando vocês se encontram no penhasco, ambos estão no costumeiro silêncio, mas o ar está mais carregado que o normal, culpa das perguntas que pesam (metaforicamente) em seus ombros. Ela o responde antes que você possa vocalizar seus pensamentos: “Eu não gosto de dever favores.” É uma boa resposta, melhor do que se ela admitisse fazê-lo por piedade, e condiz com a Bailarina que você conhece, então você não pensa mais sobre isso.

17: Absinto estava entediado, algo muito perigoso de se estar quando se trata do pirotécnico, e é assim que você acaba com o corpo em chamas transferindo a dor para pessoas aleatórias ao redor de Sococó da Ema. Porta-Voz não fica feliz quando descobre, mas sua bronca não possui real disciplina, não quando ele não consegue parar de soltar risinhos toda vez que gritos ecoam na distância.

18: Você é atingido em cheio pelo conhecimento de que tanto tempo se passou, quando uma prima sua vai visitar Sococó da Ema. Ela era mais nova que você, mesmo que por apenas alguns anos, mas agora ela possui um filho. Você não sabe o que é mais chocante: o quanto ela cresceu ou a criança ter recebido seu nome anterior à Umbra.

19: O que você mais aprecia em Bailarina durante suas sessões, é o fato de que ela sempre inova, além de sempre parecer saber o que você quer sentir naquele dia em particular. O molhado das lágrimas em suas bochechas é tão bem-vindo quanto a dor de ser esfolado vivo. Há dias em que você quase esquece que esses momentos não passam de figmentos de sua imaginação.

20: Quando Porta-Voz reúne todos para anunciar as premonições de Violinista, você sabe com toda a certeza que os gritos subsequentes acompanharão seu sono pelas próximas semanas. Outro pesadelo? Não, você não é mais aquele pré-adolescente assustado, dessa vez os gritos da Garota do Lago serão tão melódicos quanto uma sinfonia clássica. Se você soubesse o quanto teria que esperar para ouvi-los novamente, teria tentado aproveitar mais da primeira vez.

( @stormishcl0ud prometi que ia te marcar ^^)

[averlym]

"c'mon lin, give me something to work with here- I can't exactly tell all the freshmen to dissect someone if they want to win the phaethon..."

[ask-de-writer]

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THE FISHERMAN'S LEG (Part 8 of 20)

A sequel to Dee 1/2 Demon

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

10440 words (work in progress)

© 2023 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

TUMBLR EXEMPTION

Blog holding members of Tumblr.com may freely reblog this story provided that the title, author and copyright information remain intact, unaltered, and are displayed at the head of the story.

Fan art, stories, music, cosplay and other fan activity is actively encouraged.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

New to the story? Read from the beginning HERE.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

The lead oarsman grumbled, “Only eighty six of copper cash? We would have had so much more if Minami had not been along! Pity that the Sea Lion is his boat and he won't let us use it unless he is along.”

While he was counting out the crew's shares, Magistrate Lim asked sympathetically, “Narutsu san, what exactly transpired out there on the water to say such a thing of Minami san?”

They all assumed the proper kneeling of persons before the Tribunal and lead oarsman Narutsu explained, “Good Magistrate Lim, recently he forced iron works of his own making on all the fleet.

“For two years past, we had iron works so good that never did a rope jam or anything work less than perfectly. As the owner, we could not prevent him from doing so for his own boat, the Sea Lion. By the threat of refusing their catch, he made the other boats do so as well.

“None of his iron work functions well at all, and those are the good times. Ratchets do not hold properly on winches, letting line go when it should not, or worse, the whole winch will freeze up and it and time is wasted making it work. Net guides fail to turn, making it difficult to pull in the fish. The pulling block on the crane, needful to lifting the heavy loads of nets with fish, not only froze, the rope slipped off of a pulley sheave and jammed firmly when it was most needed.

“We were working to get the rope loose and back on the sheave when Minami struck it on the side with the iron end of a long boat hook. The force of his strike caused a sharp edge to break the rope in two and completely broke the whole pulling block.

“The slowness of pulling the net in by hand in a tangled heap because the take up roller's pawls would not hold let most of the school get away.

“Worse, he blamed the whole debacle on Dee san and her friends, though it was obvious to us all that it was wholly his fault and no other's.”

Magistrate Lim thoughtfully stroked his neat beard and mustaches for a moment. “Are you aware, good oarsmen, that Minami san owes you all a substantial sum of money? For the last two of years he has been taking in all the catch of every boat that went out on a day without even weighing it. He then paid you all for only the fish that he sold, but not for those that his poor management of the Fish Market allowed to spoil.

“He owes you money for all of the fish that spoiled, nearly a third of the catch. The Tribunal has records of the money that he earned, and how much was lost. We have divided up his arrears by the number of boats out for each fishing day. Due to his poor record keeping, that is the best that we can do.

“Given that, he owes the group of you a total of,” he pauses to consult a sheet in Miko's neat calligraphy, “two of golden cash, of silver cash, one string and twenty two, of copper cash, three strings and nineteen.”

The crew sat in stunned silence. Finally lead oarsman Narutsu, shaking his head in disbelief, asked “Good Magistrate, how can we recover this money? It is our understanding that he has nothing.”

Bowing politely to them, Magistrate Lim replied, “Not quite so, Narutsu san. He has still the Sea Lion. His house, land and the ice house, are joint properties that cannot be seized.

“You have three avenues open to you. First, you may take a lein on the Sea Lion, giving you ownership until his debit is paid from shares of catch. He must have one tenth of the proper share. This will take a few years to pay off.

“Second, you may simply seize the Sea Lion, and write off the balance of the debit. Doing so will give you the boat as it is now and a loss on paper of about one cash of gold, of silver cash, one string. That loss can reduce your Tribute tax for up to three years. Miko san can give you precise details.

“Thirdly, you can continue as you are now, receiving a share of the arrears each time that he makes a payment to the Tribunal on his debit.”

The crew put their heads together, conferring on what to do.

At the Fish Market, a smiling Tanira watched as the girls working for her neatly put the display fish in an ice chest and covered all of the trays with thick blankets.

She offered, “Minara san, Takahara san, thanks to your good help, I have not only had a good day of sales, your backing me up down on the dock was invaluable.” She handed them hand tied strings with six copper cash each. “I did not miscount. Frankly, you girls are worth more to me than this but with all of the problems connected to this, it is all that I can afford.”

The girls bowed, “Thank you so much, Tanira san. Why don't you and young Ichuru come with us and share our evening meal with the Shop of Repairs gang? No charge, of course.”

Young Ichuru san was amazed and delighted by the meal that was brought in to a long table in the Chiasu warehouse. Not only was the food plentiful and tasty, all of the young ladies there treated him with the proper respect due to a grown up!

His mother was also somewhat goggle eyed, but for a different reason. “My word, Dee san, that is a big boat that you are making, isn't it?”

Dee bowed her pleasure as she replied, “It is indeed, Tanira san. It is a full twenty two paces long by nearly six wide. Beam, I think that the width is called.”

“That is amazing, Dee san! It will be the largest boat in Sabo when you are done with it! Even as wealthy as I know that you are, how can you afford so much fine, flawless lumber? But aren't those planks that I see stacked there awfully thin? A hand span wide but only about as thick as a chopstick? How?”

Patsu looked up from the big fish filet that she was tucking into and grinned, “It is dirt cheap, Tanira san! You won't believe this, but those planks are bamboo!”

She waited for that bombshell to go off in Tanira's mind before adding, “We found something in an oldish fold book from Chin. It told us how to make wood soft so that fun things can be done to it. We took it a step further and turn bamboo into bamgoo! By products of making bamgoo give us both a lot of fiber and the glue that we use on all of our boats now, as well as being able to form those thin planks.”

One of the other girls at the table, seeing that Patsu was being free with info but holding back the bamgoo process, chimed in, “We know that those planks are thin, Tanira san, but when we are finished there will be five layers of them. That will be very strong.”

Dinner over, one of the girls gave Ichuru san a toy boat as long as arms. It was made of the same thin bamgoo planks as the big boat that they were building.

As they emerged into the street, they were met by Minami, who was in the company of Constable Canra.

As he was starting to demand, “Where is my din . . .” the Constable tapped him gently with his cudgel.

Reminding him with soft words he stated, “Do not become unruly, Minami san, or I shall take you before Magistrate Lim.”

Minami glared at the Constable but went on, “Where is my dinner, woman? You have been dining with the enemies of all goodness and forgotten your husband.”

Not raising her voice but her anger plain, Tanira retorted, “Your dinner is in the same place that your manners have gone, you foolish man! Buy it out of your catch shares until you learn that courtesy which costs nothing will buy you much!”

“Do you know what those men of mine have done?” He waived a paper at her, snapping, “They have placed a lein on my Sea Lion! They took all but ten percent of my share as a payment on it!”

She nodded, with a shrug, “So, how much did you get?”

He angrily cast two copper cash at her feet! “That is all for a whole day's work!”

Ichuru gathered up the coins and offered them back, “Father sanma, these are yours.”

To be Continued

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[blanketorghost]

Octomer Baby Development: A guide for new parents (Part 2)

Right after your bundle of joy is newly hatched, it may need some special attention that other mer babies may not need. Often clingy and fussy when left alone, Octomer hatchlings have interesting differences that make raising them an entirely unique experience.

PHASE 2─THE HATCHLING:

0-2 Months:

Your baby has just hatched, and the first thing to note is its absolutely tiny size. Don't fret, as Octomers grow rapidly and will soon surpass your palm. At this stage, octomers can barely crawl around and will cling to their parents' hand for support and mobility. As they get exposed to light, their chromatophores develop and more colored speckles/marks will continue to appear all throught their body.

3-5 Months:

Your child should be slowly introduced to mushed foods instead of relying on liquids. It is recommended to also start introducing them to different kinds of meat, like clams (de-shelled) and shrimp.

An octomer baby is slowly starting to gain stength in all its arms, which include their suckers. They will start crawling around and grabbing things, and though slow in their movements, they have quite a strong grip on things. If parents are worried about their children grabbing onto something potentially dangerous, it is recommended to lather on a thin layer of whale fat onto things so they aren't able to grip it with their suckers.

6-8 Months:

Big developments will be happening around this timeframe, not only your octomer baby will get (and will continue to get) a growth spurt from being about 6 1/2" (16.5 cm) to a whopping 19" (50cm) ! Their appetite will also increase accordingly, so be sure to stock up on plenty of foods like kelp, plankton juice, and crab meat.

Their syphon and ink sac are fully developed, too, so expect a couple of accidental ink spewings from your baby.

9-11 Months:

At this point, your healthy octomer baby will be around 25.20" (64cm) and, if they are a hybrid between any landfolk type, they'll start transforming into their other species type. If that is the case, it is recommended that you start introducing your mer to land and the respective aspects of it, like crawling, breathing air, and, eventually, walking and eating warm foods.

Your baby's chromatophores will also be fully developed, and as such, the distinct markings that they'll have for the rest of their life will be fully visible─though still faded. Their water jet and arms will also be fully mobile and your octomer will start to swim around and even 'walk' upright.

BONUS:

Yuu especially struggled with this phase.

[snailspng]

Random PNGs, part 173.

(1. Gas mask dog (?), 2. Glass boots (?), 3. "Lapinou des cendres" by Hélène Loussier, 4. Shark-shaped stapler by Jac Zagory, 5. Penguin soap (?), 6. Pregnant keychain, 7. Halite, 8. Sculpture by Anna Dębska, 9. Stone carved hare (?))

[lightseoul]

cw. worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (25), cussing (bkg-typical), not many warnings needed for this one chat

words. 1.3k (i had to split it so that the chapter wouldn't be a whole ass novel. also for pacing purposes :0)

masterlist | part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 8, part 9

Your eyes lazily trail the movement of the colleague you speak to at most twice a year as they give a presentation up front, the words they’re uttering slowly turning into a slew of blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory like in that TikTok you saw before falling into a fitted sleep the night prior.

Without you noticing, November has finally rolled around, and with it came one of the most important meetings involving Bakugou, Kirishima, and the agency’s department heads aimed at preparing the leaders for the year-end processes and reports.

The very meeting that you find yourself barely getting through at this exact moment.

Tanaka, the said colleague, seems like he’s explaining a pie graph about Dynamight, Red Riot, and their sidekicks’ stats, you think.

You shake your head in an attempt to bring your attention back to what’s in front of you, but your efforts appear to have been in vain as your mind, once again, drifts to the past, and you find yourself mulling over what Mina said two weeks ago.

It’s something that hasn’t left your mind since then, trailing behind you like a damned poltergeist who doesn’t know when to let up.

And as much as you’d hate to admit it, it’s caused considerable confusion on your part, and you don’t like how it may have inadvertently affected how you act around Bakugou, too.

You’re more fidgety, now, and you’ve since beaten your record of how fast you get flustered and stuttery around the man. Although if he’s noticed this humiliating, inexplicable change in your behavior, he isn’t showing it.

At least, not by much.

His gazes have been lingering for a beat too long whenever you stammered your response instead of doing so calmly like you usually do…

“Hey.”

You sit up in sudden attention, dizziness instantly hitting you from having been violently pulled from your reverie. You look at Bakugou, who’s staring you down from the end of the table, and scan the area around him, only to realize that everybody has apparently left, leaving the two of you alone in the conference room.

“Wha—”

“You weren’t listening, were you?”

You feel yourself flush in embarrassment. Guilty.

He shakes his head in what you think is disapproval, stacking the documents in front of him in a neat pile. You take that as a cue to follow suit, gathering your folders in front of you and hurriedly standing up to beeline out of the room.

The last thing you need is for these glass doors to magically lock you in, too.

But you don’t even get to reach the doorway, ass barely lifted a breadth away from your cushy office chair when he speaks up.

“I overheard you in the breakroom.”

You freeze in your tracks, lifting your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Earlier this morning. You said—” he pauses, eyes shifting to your rear, “Sit back down, dumbass. Your knees are gonna kill you if you keep this up.”

You’re about to retort with a comeback when it dawns on you that the guy has a point, so you begrudgingly take a seat.

“As I said,” he shoots you a pointed look, “I overheard you saying you didn’t have plans for next week.”

“Next week?”

“Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, yeah,” you absentmindedly scratch your right cheek. “My family will be on vacation and all my close friends have plans with their relatives.”

One of his eyebrows raises in question, “And you won’t be tagging along?”

You shrug, “I don’t want to impose on my friends, and being with my family on a holiday isn’t exactly the most relaxing experience.”

Bakugou merely hums in response, seeming as if he’s pondering something in his head. Unable to sustain his gaze, you opt for looking around the room instead, suddenly finding the plain, gray ceiling wildly interesting.

A few moments pass before you decide that yes, this silence is going to kill you if you don’t get the fuck out now.

You lift yourself from your chair, “Well, I should get go—”

“Come over.”

As if you’re in a slapstick comedy, you, once again, freeze. “W-what?”

He clears his throat, “C-come over, to my parents’. For thanksgiving.”

You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity before his eyes gravitate toward your rear again, only this time you plop back down before he can order you to reseat yourself.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow…”

He sighs like he’s teaching you basic ass mathematics and you’re not getting it. “The old hag has been begging me to let them meet you ever since, you know…”

The news of you two “dating” broke out. Right.

You mentally slap yourself for forgetting Bakugou had parents who would eventually also catch wind of your silly little dating scandal.

At the thought of meeting the people who raised Bakugou, your throat suddenly feels a bit too dry. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” you manage to get out.

It’s one thing to go and pretend to be Bakugou’s girlfriend in front of the man’s fucking parents, it’s another to do so in this state that you’ve been in ever since that get-together with his friend group. You don’t exactly know why, but you’ve been fundamentally reconfigured since that fated night, and whatever the fuck is causing it, you’re sure won’t mix well with being in the same room as Bakugou’s parents. That, on top of having to act all lovey-dovey with their son around them.

You’re about to defend your case as to why they should just scrap the idea entirely when Bakugou responds.

“It’s either that or she visits us here in the agency.”

Your jaw drops, “Is that a threat?”

He draws his lips in a thin line, shaking his head. “It’s an ultimatum.”

“That’s more or less the same thing,” you counter.

“My mom likes to play with the shitty technicalities,” he retaliates, tone abrasive as ever.

You can only gawk at the guy as he shifts in his seat rather quite uncomfortably.

Is he seriously going along with his mom’s wishes now?

What happened to the ever-notorious Bakugou who just goes for what he wants without minding everyone else?

You study the man for a beat, weighing your options in your head. It’s obvious, which of the two is the wiser option. It’s a matter of going for where there are fewer pairs of eyes watching you and Bakugou’s every movement. But the real question is, why do you have to choose in the first place?

“I don’t understand,” you start, “Why can’t you just tell your mom that we’re not ready to do the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing yet?”

“Why don’t you be on the receiving end of her fucking nagging, hah?” he snaps, voice defensive and loud enough to make you jump.

“Okay, okay,” you immediately concede, tone placating, not willing for this to escalate into a fight. The last thing you need is for somebody in the building to overhear you, think you’re having a lovers’ quarrel or whatever the fuck they call it, and run to the media to gush all about it.

You’ve had enough media exposure to last you for a lifetime, thank you very much.

Chancing one last glance at your boss, you find him staring a hole into the pile of papers directly in front of him, a prominent scowl etched on his face.

His mom’s nagging must be weighing him down more than you thought.

As you study the visibly bothered man, you’re acutely aware of all the fight evaporating from your body, and you eventually find yourself slouching in your seat in what you reluctantly identify as defeat.

“…What’s your parents’ address?”

“Don’t bother,” he almost instantly replies. “I’ll pick you up.”

tagging. @kitthepurplepotato @katsukis1wife @brunnetteiwik @bunnysaursushii @beab19 @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lovra974 @chelbyisbord @k0z3me @meeeepsworld @asura-rose @dragonscribble @moonz33 @citrustsuki @deadhands69 @lemuhr @rosemarygalaxy @iluv-ace @eyesforbkg @carpe000diem @shushbruv @matchat3a @ttalgi @bakunianadecorazon @the2ndl @keiscwsz @onlyisaa @aizawa19

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 they make such a huge difference! have a lovely day ( ˘ ³˘)

[wandascosmic]

why can't you see? (8)

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

part eight of 'you belong with me' series

summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office

word count: 3418

tags: best friends to lovers, actual idiots to lovers, they're so cute my little babies, 3/4 of this is just reader being a little shit but she's so real like she's me when im doing work, wanda's so here for it though they're so on the same wavelength it's adorable

taglist: @reginassweetheart @rroyale-109 @marvel-posts

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

Tony suddenly feels the sensation of his jacket being pulled over his head. “Oh!” he grunts, as his eyesight his overshadowed by darkness. 

“What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom?” Hayward asks in a gross joking tone, pulling the jacket back down. 

Tony turns around slowly, his eyes widening in surprise and happiness once he sees who’s surprised him. “Tyler!” Tony says excitedly before hugging the man. 

“What’s up Tony, how’s it going?” Hayward says cockily. Hayward smirks as he turns to you at your desk. “What’s up, L/N, still queer?” he asks. 

You give him a tight-lipped smile before going back to work, and Wanda watches you with an amused grin. Your absolute lack of ability to hide when you’re annoyed always made her laugh. 

“Man, we have loads of catching up to do,” Tony tells Hayward as he starts to lead him towards his office while the two begin to engage in chatter. 

You roll your eyes aggressively. 

God, you hated Tyler Hayward with a burning passion. 

Standing up from your desk, you grab your jacket ready to head out for lunch. But of course, you need to stop by your favourite receptionist’s desk for the fifth time today. Or maybe sixth. 

“What has two thumbs and hates Tyler Hayward?” you ask her as you walk over. 

 Wanda smiles knowingly. “Me,” you mouth to her, pointing your index finger at yourself.  

“Well,” Wanda says. “I’m always here if you need saving.” 

“Please,” you respond, giving her a knowing look. “Hey, do you want anything from the sandwich shop down the street?” 

“Oh! Yeah, could you get me that ham and cheese one you got me last time?” 

You smile. “Sure,” you say, before heading out the door. 

***

“I’m really excited to meet your mom,” you tell Wanda as you take a bite of your turkey sub. 

“You are?” Wanda asks, unwrapping the sandwich you got her. 

“Mhm,” you nod. “I’ve got many questions to ask her.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Wanda asks curiously with a tilt of her head. 

You grin before assuming a quizzical expression. “Like this.” You shift in your seat slightly to get more into character. “As a child, did Wanda show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?” 

Wanda laughs. “I’m not sure she’ll know how to answer that question.”  

***

The door opens quietly, and you smile as you see Iryna Maximoff start to slowly make her way towards her daughter. Wanda doesn’t notice, continuing to type on her computer. 

Suddenly, Wanda feels a tap on her shoulder. 

And turning her head, Wanda’s eyes light up once she sees who’s in front of her. Wanda’s told you how much she loves her mother, many, many times. 

Iryna smiles at her daughter. “Hi,” she says, before Wanda jumps out of her chair to hug her tight. 

“Mama!” Wanda exclaims, squeezing tighter. 

You smile at the heartwarming exchange. 

Deciding to go introduce yourself, you stand up from your chair, ready to go meet the woman who brought the most wonderful human being you’v ever known into this world. 

You faintly hear Wanda begin to tell her mother all the things she’s missed the past few weeks, but your nerves have caught up to you slightly and you desperately want to make a good impression. You brush the dust off your pants slightly, and start to walk over.  

Should you say hi? 

How are you?

Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N? 

Hi Ms. Maximoff, I’ve been in love with your daughter ever since she started working here so could you please like me? 

Nope. Definitely not. 

You groan, deciding to just get it over with. 

Taking a deep breath, you stand at Wanda’s desk with a smile, drumming your fingers on the wood as you prepare for the two Maximoffs to turn around.  

But of course, the universe had other plans. 

You turn your head to the sound of the door creaking open, and your heart drops as you see Vision enter. With fucking flowers. And gel in his hair. And the most obnoxious country club outfit you’ve ever seen. It made your work clothes seem like a potato sack in comparison, and you realize that you can’t meet Wanda’s mother looking like this compared to her fiance. Plus, Vision already hated you and had his suspicions. 

Regaining your composure, you eliminate any suspicion he may have had of you standing at Wanda’s desk by taking a candy from the communal dish at the front and immediately turn around to walk back to your own stupid desk. 

Sitting back down, you frown slightly, but ultimately decide that you should probably get back to the papers that were giving you a headache of boredom. 

All you wanted was to say hi. 

After a couple seconds, you overhear Iryna greet Vision. 

“Oh, there he is,” she says happily. Hey handsome, how are you?” You turn to see her greet him with a hug. 

“I’m pretty good. How are you?” Vision responds, very obviously sucking up as you’ve seen his true personality on a daily basis. “You look great, Iryna.” 

“Thank you very much,” Iryna responds with a smile. “So, are we ready for dinner?” 

“Oh,” You hear Wanda express, a bit forlorn. “Well, you know, actually I kind of need to stall a bit, since Tony’s gonna have a small meeting at the end of the day,” she says guiltily. “But, it’s okay since I’m very used to killing time.” Wanda chuckles a bit. 

“Oh, no worries,” Iryna tells her. “We’ll just wait a bit.” 

“For sure,” Vision agrees. “I’ll go wait in the parking lot.” Turning to Iryna, he asks, “and, uh, what kind of tunes do you want for the ride? Country? Oldies?”

“Oh, anything is fine,” Iryna replies kindly. 

“All right, well, see you soon!” Vision says before leaving the office. 

And the second the door closes, you finally hear something that makes you smile.

“So which one is Y/N?” Iryna asks her daughter cheekily. 

“Mama!” Wanda replies with a blush. 

***

It’s the next day, and you’ve never been as bored as you feel now. 

Actually, you’ve been on a boredom streak lately. 

But today is the absolute worst of all. 

After Vision had left, you had finally gotten the opportunity to properly greet Iryna before she left to join Vision in the parking lot, and Wanda had really seemed to enjoy the entire exchange. 

But now, it’s the next day, and you want to absolutely murder the papers in front of you. Depsite your hatred for Tyler Hayward, him showing up yesterday made your day somewhat different from the rest. 

Groaning loudly, you plop your forehead onto your desk and dread the day before you. 

Wanda, of course, is entertained by your shenanigans and snickers as she watches you. 

It was official.

You had died of boredom. 

(An occurence that happens once every sixth months. Seven if Tony’s being extra insane.) 

And your guys’ deal was that it was Wanda’s job to revive you. 

***

“You see Sam’s coffee mug?” Wanda asks as you stand in front of her at her desk.

“Mhm,” you say, turning to look at the mug along with her. 

Wanda leans slightly closer. “Sometimes when he’s not here, I try to throw stuff in it,” she whispers to you. 

“No way,” you laugh. 

Wanda nods at you with a sly grin, handing you a yellow piece of paper for you to crumple up into a ball. 

“We should play paper basketball one day with his mug,” you tell her as you crumple the paper absentmindedly. 

“No way,” Wanda shakes her head. “I’ve seen you play basketball.” 

“What if I get you chicken paprikash and your favorite candies?” 

“Deal.” Wanda says instantly. “Now throw, I can’t wait for Sam to drink it accidentally.” 

‘Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never seen this side of you Maximoff. You might be a bigger prankster than I am.” 

“You’re teasing me. I can tell,” Wanda narrows her eyes at you. “Throw the paper!” 

You laugh before throwing it as instructed. “Damn it,” you say when it misses. 

“I’m the only one who can keep up with your pranks, L/N. Plus, it’s fun doing them with you,” Wanda answers as she rummages through her drawers for something else for you to throw, unknowing of the fact that she just made your heart skip a beat. “Here, try paper clips.” 

You take a silver clip from the small box Wanda has just placed on the ledge of her desk, about to throw, before her voice stops you. 

“Oh wait,” she reaches to her side and grabs another paper, reading it over slightly. “This message, for Sam.” 

“Smart, Maximoff,” you say, causing Wanda to smile at you. 

Crumpling the paper, you throw it as best you can, but end up missing once more as it lands in Sam’s chair instead. 

“You know, I might actually beat you whenever we play that coffee mug basketball game.” 

***

“Hey, Steve,” you say, walking up to the man with a few sheets of paper in your hand. “Um, these new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter?” 

“Yeah, It’s a terrible system, I know,” Steve sympathises with you. 

Suddenly, a board buried underneath the contents of Steve’s desk catches your eye. “Hey, what does 2005 season mean?” you ask. 

“Uh, that’s–” 

“No way,” you say as you pull the board out entirely. “Is this a scoreboard?” You ask, noticing the assortment of numbers written into various white boxes. 

“Yes, it is,” Steve acknowledges. 

“That’s so cool,” you say. “What’s it for?” 

Steve sighs. “Sometimes, when Tony’s out, Bucky and I play this paper football game he got me started on.”

“Or when we’re bored,” Bucky adds from his desk next to Steve. 

Inspecting the board a bit further, you see the hundreds of scores written on it. “Wait, this goes back two years! Oh my god,” you exclaim excitedly. 

“We’re bored a lot,” Bucky says, already folding a piece of paper into a small triangle. 

Steve turns to you. “Wanna try?” 

You nod with a grin. 

*** “Oh!” you exclaim as you flick the paper triangle to Bucky’s desk, making another shot. “Yes!” You high-five Steve who stands next to you. 

“Fun, right?” he says. 

“For sure, I really love the uh, paper triangle flicking and hitting things game.” You imitate the motion with your fingers.” It’s awesome.” 

“We call it Hateball,” Bucky tells you with a whisper. 

“Why?” you ask curiously. 

“Because of how much Nat hates it,” Steve says, nodding over to Nat who’s deep in her work on her computer. 

You look over at Nat, and you notice the hint of a smile on her face. 

“I don’t hate it,” she mouthes at you through the screen separating the desks once Bucky and Steve look away. 

You smile before turning back to Bucky and Steve. “Hey, do you guys have any other games?” 

Bucky inches forward towards you slightly. “Ask Bruce to teach you Shield ball, trust me.” 

***

“So, that’s what this sound is all day,” you exclaim with a smile as the ball hits the ceiling before passing between you and Bruce. 

“Fun, isn’t it?” Bruce replies back. 

“It’s awesome!” 

*** After exhausting the two new games you had discovered today as much as possible, you decided it was best to let your co-workers get back to work. 

Unfortunately, you had only blown off your work for about two hours, and needed to find a way to blow off the other five hours of the day. 

So, you created your own games. 

Something you liked to call ‘the Office Olympics.’ and you were surprisingly proud of what you could come up with. 

Wanda, like the incredible, wonderful, and kind person she was, had agreed to help you in creating your new project, and had ended up making beautiful medals out of paperclips and old yogurt lids. They looked surprisingly professional, which I guess shuoldn’t surprise you since it was Wanda.

You, and the majority of the office staff stand in the kitchen, with Wanda putting up a poster that says, ‘Games of the 1st Shield Industry Olympiad.’ 

Humming the Olympic Anthem, you hold a candle in your hand which you had found stashed away in your desk, a lighter in the other. “This scented candle,” you start with a smile. “Which I found at the bottom of my desk drawer,” you turn on the lighter and light the candle. “Represents the eternal….” you shake your head. “Burning of competition, or something.” 

“It smells like cookies,” Bruce says. 

“Yes, it does,” you look at him seriously. “Yes, it does, my friend.” 

“Okay, so, we’ll be competing for gold, silver, and bronze yogurt lids,” you say, holding up the medals by their paper clip chain. “Made specially by Wanda.” 

Wanda grins at you. 

“Let the games begin!” You lead the office staff out the kitchen with your candle above your head, all of you humming the Olympic anthem together. 

***

“Alright, so, here, what you have is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies,” you explain as you point to the paper boxes that have yellow rubber bands holding the lid and the vessel together at the top and bottom of their horizontal sides. “And, I’m blanking on the name, could you help me out, Wanda?” you turn to the brunette who stands next to you. 

“Y/N, they refer to it, as,” Wanda pauses. “Flonkerton.” 

You hum. 

“In English, ‘Box of Paper Snowshoe Racing’.” 

“Fair enough,” you say. “But, I like Flonkerton.” 

Wanda smiles. 

“So,” you continue. “Who will be challenging Bruce in Flonkerton?” 

“I’ll do it,” Jennifer says. 

“Yes, Jennifer! Cousins taking on cousins,” you exclaim. 

Both Jennifer and Bruce walk over to the boxes, Wanda helping Bruce with his footing while you help Jennifer. 

“So, if you could put your foot right through here,” you lift up the yellow band for her to slip her foot through. “Right through the flonk.” 

Once both Bruce and Jennifer were ready, the rest of the staff helped you put up the finish line at the end of the room, which was made of transparent tape. 

“Alright, are you guys ready?” you ask, receiving a nod from both parties. 

“Ready, set, go!” 

And the office erupts in cheers as Bruce and Jennifer try to make it to the other side of the room with the boxes on their feet. 

“Whoo! Go, go, go!” you exclaim, clapping your hands together. 

“Dig deep!” Steve yells. “Dig deep!” 

Soon, the two near the finish line, and you prepare to catch one of them in case they fall. 

“Oh, they’re neck and neck!” Bucky exclaims. 

“Come on!” Nat says. 

“Oh!” the staff exclaims all at once, as the two finally reach the finish line, Jennifer winning by the slightest edge. 

“Jennifer by a nose!” you announce. “Gold medal, in Flurnenton.” 

“Flonkerton,” Wanda corrects. 

“Thank you, delegate from Iceland,” you say teasingly. 

***

“Nat, are you sure you don’t want to join in on any games?” Wanda asks Nat as she stands next to her by the water dispenser. 

“I’m good with watching, thanks,” Nat chuckles, taking the last sip of her water. 

“Come on, don’t you have any games you enjoy?” 

“Well, there is one,” Nat says, throwing her cup out. 

“No way, what is it?” Wanda asks excitedly. 

“I call it Wanda-pong.” 

Wanda stares confused. “What?” she asks with a small laugh.

“Mhm,” Nat nods. “I count how many times Y/N gets up from her desk and goes to reception to talk to you.” 

Wanda pulls her head back in slight shock. “We’re friends.” 

“If you say so,” Nat says with a wink before heading off. 

***

“Peter! Gold medal,” you announce as the intern had correctly guessed who would be next to come up in the elevator. “Let’s move to our next destination, everyone.” 

“Oh, Y/N!” Wanda runs up to you and joins you at your side with a large box in her arms. 

“What’s up, Maximoff?” you ask with a laugh. 

“I made something for our closing ceremonies,” she says with a huge grin. 

“What?” you say with a smile, and Wanda opens up the box to show you. “Oh, my god,” you exclaim. “This is incredible!” 

Wanda smiles as she looks up at you. 

“When’d you have time to make it?” 

“Automatic voicemail,” Wanda responds cheekily.   

“”All right, Maximoff, all right,” you say, lifting up your hand and giving her a well-deserved high five. 

***

It was the absolute worst time for Tony to walk in with Sam. 

You were in the middle of the coffee race, seeing who could get a full mug of coffee from the coffee machine to Steve’s desk in the least amount of time. 

However, the two walked in halfway through the race, catching you all in your tracks. 

Now, you were back at your desk, filling out the stupid expense reports that had caused your death of boredom earlier this morning. But, in five minutes time you had gotten them done, and you had also closed two sales before the day was over. 

Truthfully, it was about as productive as any other day. If not, more so. 

“All done,” you tell Steve as you hand him the reports. 

“Great,” Steve responds before you walk off. 

You contemplate sitting down at your desk, and doing whatever you could find to do to entertain yourself, however, staring at the medal hung over your desk lamp, you think you have a better idea. 

“Hey,” you say to Wanda as you greet her at her desk. 

“I have 59 voicemails,” she responds with the phone to her shoulder. 

“Great,” you respond. “Actually, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?” 

Wanda stares at you for a moment before her face breaks out into a grin. “Sure.” She places the phone back into its holder. 

“Pefect,” you respond back. “So, today, 5 o’clock, closing ceremonies,” you tell her with a small smile. 

“Wait, really?” You nod. “Notify the athletes.” 

“Will do,” Wanda says as she gets up from her seat. 

***

Knocking on Tony’s door, you slowly enter his office, seeing him hunched over. 

“Tony?” 

“Y/N! Y/N, what’s going on?” he responds.

“Nothing, I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo.” 

Tony furrows his brows. “How did you find out about that?” 

Of course, the answer was Sam. And he had notified you all to be wary of Tony since the purchase was less than savory. 

“Sam,” you nod your head in the direction of his desk. 

“Of course,” Tony mutters. “But, thanks anyways.” 

“No problem. Hey, would you mind coming out here for a sec? I’ve got something for you.” 

“Really?” Tony asks, standing up from his chair. 

Slowly leading him out, you smile at the arranged closing ceremony Wanda had put together, a wonderful stage of first, second, and third place, along with a few surprises she had only told you about.  

“What’s this?” Tony asks. 

“These are the closing ceremonies,” you tell him. “Step up.” You lead him to the top stage, and pull out one of Wanda’s medals from your pocket. “Congratulations to Tony, because he closed on his condo. So, gold medal.” You place the item around his neck. 

“I’m not sure what to say,” Tony says. “But, thank you all, for this, I’m very grateful.” 

You smile. 

“And for, Sam Wilson,” you continue as Bruce leads Sam to the second highest stage. “The silver medal.” You place the award around his neck.

“And finally, for Jennifer Walters, the bronze medal.” You lead Jennifer to the final stage, as she had won most of the games of the Office Olympics. 

You nod at Wanda, and she pushes the play button on the speaker, the Star-Spangled banner beginning to play. 

All of you placing your hands on your heart, you begin to grin. 

“Why are you playing the National Anthem?” Tony whispers to you. 

“Um, because your condo’s in America.” you respond. 

“Fair enough,” Tony says. 

“Ready?” Wanda asks you, and you nod. 

Wanda starts to pull the string linked to the pieces of paper she had folded earlier, giving you a grin. 

“What is that?” Tony asks. 

“Those are the doves,” you answer. 

Wanda glances at you with a small smile, and you give her one in return. 

She did, in fact revive you from your boredom.

[floatyflowers]

Dark Disney Villains/Protagonists Masterlist:

1-Male! Cruella De Vil x Soft-hearted Reader

2-Male! Evil King x Wife! Reader Part 2

3-Platonic Father Tarzan x Reader

4-Platonic Dark! Emperor Kuzco x Child Reader

5-Dark Platonic Male! Maleficent x Child! Reader

6-

7-

8-

9-

10-

[thesimline]

1700s WOMEN - PART 2

Lace as a luxury was carried over from the 17th century, used as a status simple for the wealthy to flaunt. From the mid-century on it migrated to the neck in the form of delicate chokers, which were a fashionable alternative to traditional jewelled necklaces. As hairstyles became larger hat styles became smaller until they were discarded altogether for a time, followed by extremely large hats that accommodated the curls, plaits and frizzed hair beneath. CC links and reference images under the cut.

You can find more of my historical content here:

1300s ✺ 1400s ✺ 1500s ✺ 1600s ✺ 1700s

1 - Hedgehog Hair & Silk Headband by Acanthus Sims

2 - Eleonora Hair by Melancholy Maiden

3 - Sophia 1790s Hair by In Love with the Regency Era

4 - Rococo Hair & Feather and Pearls Accessory by The Regal Sim (Curseforge)

5 - 1770s Four Curls Tall Coiffure & Rose Crown by Acanthus Sims

6 - 1700s Hair 1 by In Love with the Regency Era

7 - Hedgehog Hair & Bergère Hat by Acanthus Sims

8 - Tête de Mouton & Suburban Shopper Hat by Javi Trulove

9 - Hedgehog Hair & Bow Hat by Acanthus Sims

10 - Small Louis XV Hair (A) by Acanthus Sims | Reminiscence Of Flower Hat by Simsonico

11 - Duchess of Devonshire by Historical Simslife | Cavalier Hat V.2 by Strange Storyteller Sims

12 - Small Louis XV Hair (B) by Acanthus Sims | Ruffle Hat by Acanthus Sims

13 - Diamond Pink Earring v2 by Glitterberry Sims (TSR)

14 - Arthur 1 Earring by Yakfarm

15 - Velvet and Pearl Earrings VER.1 by LIN_DIAN (TSR)

16 - Voiles Face Stars by Kismet Sims

17 - A la Quigley’s Mouches by Javi Trulove

18 - Clara Beauty Marks by The Plumbob Fairy (retired - direct download)

19 - Lace Collar 05 by S-Club (TSR)

20 - Lace Collar with Bell by MysteriousOo (TSR)

21 - Pearl Necklace 201915 by S-Club (TSR)

22 - Genius Eden Choker by Genius666 (TSR)

23 - Frill Choker by Euno Sims

24 - Midnight Choker by Pralinesims (TSR)

25 - Ledé Gloves by Vibrant Pixels

26 - Candy Witch Lisa Gloves by Simsonico

27 - Reminiscence Of Flower Gloves by Simsonico

28 - 1760s Rococo Mules by Simulated Styles

29 - Reminiscence Of Flower Shoes by Simsonico

30 - The Regal Sims Rococo Shoe Recolour by Elfdor

With thanks to some amazing creators: @acanthus-sims @the-melancholy-maiden @inlovewithregencyera @javitrulovesims @simsonico @strangestorytellersims @glitterberrysims @pralinesims @vibrantpixels @simulatedstyles @elfdor

[ask-de-writer]

I would like to thank Delightfully

EAGER BINGE READER

@furislupus​ for READING and LIKING

CORAM’S HOPE, Parts 4 to 8 of 8

A World of Sea tale

CAPTURED BY THE CLANS, Part 1 of 3

Science Fiction

[hedgehog-moss]

On the eve of planned nationwide demonstrations, I want to offer an overview of the ways the protests in France are being handled by the government so far (and if what you’ve heard is that this is over a 2 year increase in retirement age, please do take a minute to read this post to get a better idea of the context)

1. In Paris on March 21, a CRS (cop) threw a tear gas grenade in the air towards protesters (they’re supposed to throw them near the ground); the grenade landed and exploded on a protester’s head. (x)

2. Massive use of tear gas at every protest, on this vid from March 17 you can see the Place de la Concorde (largest public square in Paris) drowned in tear gas. (x)

3. In Paris on March 20, video of a CRS with a baton hitting protesters who are cowering against a wall (x)

4. CRS grabbing demonstrators in (illegal) chokeholds and dragging them by the neck (x)

5. In Strasbourg on March 21, police trapped about a hundred protesters in a narrow alleyway and tear gassed them from both ends of the alley so they couldn’t escape; an asthmatic person lost consciousness; people who lived there opened their doors and let the protesters enter their houses to get to safety. (x)

6. In Paris on March 20, a CRS shot a protester with an LBD riot gun (rubber bullets) and shouted at him “Pick up your balls now, fucker” (x) (an allusion to the several instances in recent years of protesters having testicle injuries from LBD guns - and non-protesters too, in 2015 a Muslim teenage boy lost a testicle after being shot by a cop with rubber bullets when he was shooting firecrackers in a park on July 14th / Bastille day). A few seconds later in the video another CRS tells the one who said that “careful there’s a camera”

7. In Paris on March 21, a group of 4 or 5 CRS who were dispersing demonstrators, threw a homeless man to the ground who had been shouting at them (hard to hear what he said, the first sentence is “How can you do this job?”), kicking him in the head while he was down and mocking him when he couldn’t get up, calling him a ‘fatso’ and ‘sack of shit’ (the woman you can hear at the end of the video is yelling at the CRS to help the guy get up and telling them “do you lack humanity to this point?”) (x)

8. That same day Macron gave a speech on TV in which he said “the crowd [= the protesters] has no legitimacy against the people, who express themselves through their elected representatives” even though he passed his reform without a vote from the elected representatives—and considering polls show the vast majority (>70%) of the country is against the reform, the “people” and the “crowd” are one and the same. Today (March 22) he gave another TV speech in which he compared what’s happening in France right now to the January 6 US capitol attack.

9. During today’s speech Macron also said “minimum-wage workers have never seen such an increase in purchasing power” which is a mad thing to say in the middle of a cost of living crisis, and he used the term ‘smicard’ in this sentence— the minimum wage in France is called the SMIC and smicard is a derogatory word for minimum-wage workers. He decried the “extreme, unregulated violence” of protesters but had nothing to say about the unregulated violence of his police forces, and instead stoked the fire with contemptuous language that angers people the day before a planned mass protest.

10. Hundreds of protesters (and even people who weren’t protesting but just nearby) have been arrested and taken into custody in “preventative arrests”; the vast majority were then released due to “absence of an offence.” Here’s a thread by a woman who was arrested in Paris along with 11 other women (one was a 17 year-old girl) for taking part in a peaceful protest. They spent 20 hours all in one cell, were only allowed to go to the toilet if they left the door open, were frisked and had their fingerprints and DNA samples taken. Also, in Nantes on March 14, four young women age 18-20 reported having been sexually assaulted by police during body searches while participating in a student protest.

And a thread by a 19-year-old Black student who spent 48 hours in custody last week along with 4 other people who were arrested in Paris as they were walking down the street. Lots of racist shit in this thread. He had already spent 14 hours in custody after a protest a couple of days before, and ended up being charged for refusing to have his DNA samples taken.

This article in Le Monde from yesterday (it’s in French and unfortunately paywalled) talks about people who took part in last week’s protests having been handcuffed and searched in their underwear then released free of charges the next day; a lawyer comments how this is clearly meant to discourage people from demonstrating. The article also mentions two 15 year old Austrian boys who were on a class trip to Paris and were rounded up with a group of demonstrators, so the Austrian embassy had to intervene. (Journalist mentions sarcastically “We don’t know if these high schoolers’ DNA samples were taken.”)

11. There are videos from various protests of journalists wearing the press armband being threatened, hit, or shoved to the ground by police. In Montpellier yesterday, a journalist took this photo as a CRS was pointing his rubber bullet gun at his head and another was running at him with his baton telling him “I don’t give a fuck about your press card” —the photographer managed to run away. (x)

This is all from the past ten days (and mostly from the past two days) and far from an exhaustive list, there's so much outrageous stuff happening (like the Minister of the Interior lying and saying participating in an undeclared demonstration is illegal, when it’s not) but it gives a good idea of what French democracy looks like under Macron. The above photo says it all really. And thank you to all the people who continue taking part in the protests and strikes.

[snailspng]

Random PNGs, part 175.

(1. Brontosaurus vase by Stephanie Young, 2. Paint with arsenic, 3. Reliquary hand of Saint Teresa de Jesús, 4. Grimm’s Fairy Tales c. 1890, 5. "Titania Flying" by John Simmons c. 1866, 6. Ocean Jasper sphere, 7. Vintage perfume, 8. Vintage Czech glass button, 9. Tiffany brooch from c. 1910, 10. Dragon puppet by Richard Teschner in 1928)

[baby-ana1]

Consejos para bajar se peso:

1. Has ayuno intermitente, es realmente efectivo

2. No superes las 800 calorías diarias

3. Todo lo que tenga 0 calorías puedes consumirlo durante el ayuno, así que puedes probar tes, café, jugos light, lo que tu quieras

4. Comprar ropa que te quede pequeña para verte obligado a bajar de peso, ya que si no lo haces, no vas a caber

5. Pasar frío. Es un mito que el calor ayuda a bajar de peso, solo te deshidrataras, pero el frío si ayuda a bajar de peso. Cuando uno pasa frío el cuerpo se ve obligado a quemar grasa para producir calor corporal

6. Si vas a vomitar, preorisa alimentos líquidos, son más fáciles de vomitar

7. Date premios no relacionados con la comida. Por ejemplo: comprárte ese pantalón que siempre quisiste pero que nunca pudiste comprar por que no lo ibas a poder usar, ir a ese lugar que te daba vergüenza por tu peso, etc.

8. Consigue a alguien que tenga el mismo objetivo y ayunen, hagan ejercicio, etc, juntos. Es mucho más divertido y efectivo.

9. Evita lácteos y asucares, es lo que MAS te hará engordar

10. Intenta que tus comidas no tengan variedad de alimentos. Vieron que cuando se llenan al comer, por algún motivo todavía pueden comer el postre? Eso es porque el cerebro manda señales que te hacen comer más en presencia de variedad. Si buscas comer menos, evita esa variedad.

11. Toma mucha agua, entre 2 y 3 litros por día

12. Has al menos 6 mil pasos diarios (parecen mucho pero no lo son)

13. Eviten comer cosas del paquete, no se van a poder controlar

14. Priorizen las proteínas para no quedar skinny fat

15. Hagan actividades que no los hagan pensar en la comida

16. El agua tibia con limón ayuda mucho al metabolismo

17. Evita las yemas de los huevos, un huevo entero tiene 75 calorías, pero la clara sólo 17, osea que la mayor parte de las calorías son por culpa de la yema

18. Usa platos y cubiertos pequeños si tienes alguno, harán creer a tu cerebro que la porción es más grande de lo que realmente es y te sentirás más saciado.

19. Has pilates. El pilates es lo mejor que le paso a este mundo

20. Haste estas preguntas a ti mismo antes de comer cualquier cosa

¿Me voy a sentir bien con mi cuerpo después de comer esto?

¿Realmente tengo hambre o solo estoy aburrido?

¿Me voy a arrepentir de comer esto?

21. Pasar frío puede quemar de 60 a 100 calorías cada 25 minutos

22. Selecciona UN día, solo UN día para quitarte las ganas de todo aquello que se te haya antojado durante la semana. Que sea siempre el mismo. El motivo es que si tienes un día en lo que puedes comer lo que quieras se disminuye la probabilidad de un atracón.

Si te dices "no voy a comer esta galleta hasta que sea delgada" van a pasar las semanas y vas a ver que todavía no eres delgada, lo que significa que todavía no puedes comer la galleta y te vas a empezar a desesperar. Lo siguiente que pasará es que vas a dejar la dieta, porque ya no aguantas las ganas.

En cambio si tienes un día designado para comer lo que quieras, te dirás "no comeré esta galleta hasta el sábado (o el día que quieras)" y al pasar los días veras que el día para comer SI se acerca y sabes cuando es, lo que te ayudará a resistir.

Obviamente, cuando llegue el día, no te comas todo lo que se pase por delante tuyo, come únicamente esos alimento de los que estuviste más antojado en la semana.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 14

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

M!troll x f!reader

1.4k words

(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)

————

It would have been so easy to fall asleep like that in the tub, Zen just lightly dragging his fingers up and down your arms while you listen to him purr. The two of you stayed like that until the water cooled entirely, only getting out when you started to shiver.

“Will you lay with me for a while, like this?” Zen asked as the two of you dried off after the bath.

“Hmm?” you responded.

“Just before we get dressed, will you just lay with me for a little? If you feel comfortable that is��.

At this point you were wrapped in your towel, feeling a little less uncomfortable about being naked around him, but not fully ready for much more.

“I just really enjoyed holding you like that, just being skin to skin” he continued, “I promise that is all I want”.

You looked over at him, he was fidgeting somewhat nervously while he waited on your answer though he had not bothered with wrapping up in a towel. You blushed over getting an eye full of him again.

“We can cuddle for a while then” you answered.

He looked so relieved at your answer.

You took his outstretched hand and let him lead you over to the bed and settled down with him, only dropping your towel at the last moment right before you slipped under the blankets. Zen wasted no time pulling you close and then on top of him, your head up against his shoulder so he could easily nuzzle you like he enjoyed doing.

He was so incredibly warm, which felt nice after climbing out of the cold bath and stepping into the cool night air of the house. You could feel how his heart was pounding being chest to chest like that. His arms were wrapped around you, one across your back and the other hand on the back of your head.

Looking up at him, his eyes were closed and he just seemed at peace and you could not resist reaching up and touching his tusk. You could not say exactly what it was, but you loved running your fingers along them and feeling the texture of the carvings.

“It feels nice when you do that” he said.

“You can feel that?”

“Sort of, it is like this” he tapped his nail against your thumbnail, “The nail does not feel anything, but your finger still feels the pressure. My tusk feels nothing, but I feel the vibrations, the movements, against my lips and in my mouth and it is sort of pleasant”.

“I think you just like any way I touch you”.

“I do, and what is wrong with that? I have spent too many years laying with people for just a few hours to pass the time or de-stress, there is no room for soft touches or intimacy there. No room for feelings. But now?” he paused, his grip around you tightened a little.

“Now I have room for affection for the first time in my life. And I am still figuring this all out, but I enjoy having you here much more than I thought I would. I like that the first thing I see in the morning in your face, and it is the last thing I see at night. I like that I no longer come home to an empty house. I like that I have a reason to make breakfast and dinner now, a reason to not skip meals.

“I have not said anything because I did not want to overwhelm you, but you have made my life much better. Even when I was sleeping on the floor” he laughed.

You buried your face into his neck, your face was burning up and your heart was racing. This sort of a confession was not what you were expecting.

Though it was nice. This was a much different life then you had back in your kingdom, much simpler but you had freedom. You had a husband who truly cared for you. You had a life you got a say in.

You kissed his neck and let your lips linger for a moment, you could hear him whimper softly as you drew back. His lips were parted and he was watching you closely as you looked up at him, waiting for your move as always.

You drew yourself up farther and leaned in to wedge yourself between his tusks and kiss him. He returned your kiss somewhat awkwardly, clearly inexperienced, but it did not matter. You reached up and tangled your hand into his hair and gave it a firm tug, causing him to moan into your mouth and you took the deepen the kiss and open your mouth a bit.

Zen did his best to mimic you, it was sort of endearing that he had no idea what to do but was clearly eager to learn. With his mouth now open a bit you slipped your tongue in and swirled it around his for a just a moment before you felt him jerk his head back in surprise.

“Was that- was that your tongue?” he asked sounding quite startled.

“Yeah?” you answered, you knew that he had no experience kissing like this, but you had assumed he at least was aware of the concept.

“It felt sort of weird” he continued.

“I can stop then” you offered.

“No, it was weird, and a little gross, but I think I still liked it”.

“Gross? Being covered in blood is fine but but my tongue in your mouth is gross?” you teased.

“I said I liked it, you just surprised me”.

“So it’s not gross then?”

“No, it is a little gross, but that does not mean I did not like it too”.

You leaned back in and wasted no time getting back to where you left off, coaxing his lips apart and once more. He got brave and pressed into your mouth, with how much larger he was than you his tongue did not leave you much to maneuver. Instead you opted to try sucking on his tongue a bit, gently closing your lips around him and teasing him that way.

Once more he moaned into your mouth and you could see him panting heavily when you pulled away.

“I think I like kissing” he smiled.

You peppered his face with little kisses and took the time to kiss all along his tusks before pulling him into another deep kiss. It almost made you giggle, he was stiff and awkward in his movements, trying to figure out how much to open his mouth or what exactly he was supposed to be doing with his tongue. It was actually quite endearing.

When you pulled away thing time you could not help smile and giggle a bit.

“What is so funny? I do not think I am that bad at it” Zen said.

“No it’s not that. I just didn’t think that this would be an experience I’d ever have again, that weird sort of awkward kiss you have when first learning. It’s been so many years since it’s been like that and I don’t know, it’s kind of fun in a way to do it again”.

“Well, I am glad you are having fun” he was still panting a bit, but he had such a soft smile on his face when he looked at you. “Is kissing always so intense?”

“It doesn’t have to be, I can pull it back a bit if it was too much”.

“No, please do not do that. I really liked it”.

He looked so good under you. At some point you had shift to where you were straddling his chest for a better angle and to reach his hair better and you would be lying to yourself if you did not admit that this was doing a lot for you. Big, powerful, avatar of the lord of shadow whimpering and moaning while kissing and having his hair pulled. Sitting up like this on top of him now you did not feel so embarrassed about him seeing you naked all of a sudden, and you were also fairly certain you were leaving a damp spot on his chest.

Part 15

[wideeyedloner]

I've seen so many posts talking about the Honda scene being a visual metaphor for Deadpool and Wolverine having sex that I want to talk about the film as a whole for a second:

Deadpool & Wolverine is a romantic comedy.

There are a bunch of places (including this one) that describe the format of a romantic comedy, but the basic beats are as follows:

1. Introduction to your protagonist "Okay, Peanut, guess we're getting that team-up, after all." Deadpool and Wolverine opens on Wade digging up Logan's remains from Logan (2017).

2. The inciting incident "I'll do it." Paradox kidnaps Wade and blackmails him into locating a Logan to save his timeline. Cue "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls, featured in City of Angels (1998).

3. The meet-cute "You two going to fuck or fight?" After initially failing to resurrect his own timeline's Logan, Wade travels to several other timelines to find another in a montage set to Huey Lewis and the News' "The Power of Love".

4. The new reality/new world "Let's fuckin' go." Paradox sends them to the Void, ruled by Xavier's insane twin sister, where it turns out many other mutants have also been sent. They need to escape in order to save Wade's timeline and try to undo the events of Logan's timeline, which Wade has promised is possible. This requires them to work together.

5. The mirror moment/recommitment "I'm going to fight you now." Logan finds out that Wade lied to him in order to secure his cooperation, leading to the Honda fight scene set to "You're The One That I Want" from Grease (1978). Logan is demoralized but Laura convinces him that he's still needed. He really is; it's his compassion that convinces Cassandra not only to spare their lives, but to send them back to Wade's timeline if they're willing to take a leap of faith together.

6. The crisis/all is lost "They do not play nicely with each other." Cassandra is still insane, so she follows them because she'd like to eliminate all timelines and rule over everyone in the Void. To stop this, Paradox tells Wade and Logan that someone has to cut power to the device she's using at the guaranteed expense of their life.

7. The climax "I got nothin'. Give me this." Naturally, Wade and Logan fight over which one gets the privilege of sacrificing himself for the other. Logan initially wins him over with a heartfelt speech, but Wade gets Logan with a sneak attack. Wade struggles to make the connection between the terminals because they're further apart than the wingspan of a single human, but they're conveniently just the right size for two (ಥㅅಥ). Of course, the choir version of Madonna's "Like A Prayer" is playing here.

This scene encapsulated everything I enjoyed about this film: that it was stupid, emotional, action-filled, filthy, and obviously about romance between men. My husband is straight and he left the theater with me in full agreement that a) this was a romantic comedy and b) they had sex in in the Honda.

8. The resolution "Althea, this is--this is Logan." It's the end of the story, they're about to part ways, and Wade will never see Logan again if he lets him walk out of his life. So he takes Logan home and makes him part of the world he'd been telling Logan he'd been trying to save all movie long.

❤ The end ❤

The Soundtrack I can't tell you how excited I was about the soundtrack. It's full of old, romantic songs. "Only You (And You Alone)" has to be on like every doo-wop or "Best of the '50s" compilation album. "Iris" (oh god this song is old now) was featured in the romantic drama City of Angels. Everyone and their dog has covered "You Belong to Me", and the most famous recent cover has to be Jason Wade's version that was featured in Shrek (2001). Chris De Burgh may not be crazy about "The Lady in Red", but I think it's fucking sweet. I grew up on musicals and LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE "You're the One That I Want" from Grease (1978).

The Honda Odyssey Fight Scene I wanted to come back to this because there is so much to it. I'm bringing up "You're the One That I Want" again.

There are intentional parallels made between this dance number in Grease and the fight scene. It's about the flirtatious push and pull between Sandy and Danny throughout after she's made her superficial transformation into the 'bad girl' at the end of the movie. It's the same in the Odyssey between Logan and Wade. They throw each other in and out of the car as they fight (and sure, go in and out of each other).

Just look at this:

Yup, completely intentional visual metaphors for fucking galore. Logan and Wade even have a post-fight bondage scene.

Also! These scenes end with the couples in moving vehicles.

In conclusion: Deadpool & Wolverine is a violent romantic comedy. Of course they fucked.

[felassan]

A new BioWare Blog post:

"Journal #5 Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance A New Weekly Narrative Podcast Starting August 29th Hey everyone, We’re back with more Dragon Age: The Veilguard news! We know that you’re excited to get to know more about our companions and embark on your own adventure to save Thedas. Starting August 26th, we’ll be hosting Companions Week on our social media to give you a deeper dive on our seven allies. In addition to that, how about another little side quest? We’re happy to announce our upcoming immersive fantasy podcast series, Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance, where you’ll meet a new pair of heroes, along with the 7 Veilguard Companions, brought together by fate as they embark on a journey of revenge, redemption, and love - all set in Thedas.  Beginning on August 29th, this eight part weekly narrative series stars podcast-exclusive characters voiced by Mae Whitman, Bridgette Lundy-Paine, and Armen Taylor, and also features all of our companions from Dragon Age: The Veilguard: Harding (Ali Hillis), Davrin (Ike Amadi), Bellara (Jee Young Han), Neve (Jessica Clark), Taash (Jin Maley), Emmrich (Nick Boraine) alongside Manfred (Matt Mercer), and Lucanis (Zach Mendez). Throughout the series, you’ll be able to learn more about each of their extraordinary backstories. This podcast is written by Will Melton and Jeremy Novick, with BioWare narrative support from Mary De Marle and John Epler. Check out the teaser for it here. When the first episode airs, you’ll meet Nadia, a retired thief unknowingly working for the Dread Wolf. Nadia and her lover, Elio, find themselves in the midst of something much greater than them - a threat to the entire world - until Elio is seemingly banished to the Fade. Enter: Drayden, a writer with an interesting connection to the Fade. Drayden and Nadia team up on an arduous adventure to rescue Elio from the Fade with a little help from some familiar friendly faces. Don’t miss a single episode - mark your calendars with the full podcast release schedule below: - 8/29 - Episode 1: Featuring Nadia, Elio, and Drayden - 9/5 - Episode 2: Featuring Harding - 9/12 - Episode 3: Featuring Davrin - 9/19 - Episode 4: Featuring Bellara - 9/26 - Episode 5: Featuring Taash - 10/3 - Episode 6: Featuring Lucanis - 10/10 - Episode 7: Featuring Emmrich - 10/17 - Episode 8: Featuring Neve Join us in the BioWare Discord Server for weekly “listening parties” in #Vows-and-Vengeance, where we’ll set up a discussion thread for each episode to listen and speculate together. Subscribe to Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance on your favorite platform so you don’t miss a single episode.  Apple Podcasts Spotify Overcast Castbox Pocket Casts Podchaser Player FM See you for Episode 1 on August 29th; chat soon.   -The Dragon Age Team"

[source] [more info]