#part of him. it was the line about how oda knows he doesn’t particularly care about good OR evil

[inkykeiji]

Oh sorry! PM!Dazai means Port Mafia Dazai, back when he was an executive, since Port Mafia Dazai and Armed Detective Agency (ADA) Dazai are two VERY different people!

ahahahaha i got it i got it i feel so sillyyyyy waaaah but you’re right!!! as a very personal aside i genuinely believe his port mafia side is still hidden within him and he just has very good grasp on it—like he can become whoever he wants to be whenever he wants to be, at the drop of a dime—but that’s just a personal headcanon euhehehehe (*/ω＼*) anYWAY okay yes yes yes, gimme some time and i will write a fucking oneshot for you because that idea is downright incredible and my brain is already crawling with so many thoughts they’re tangling together AAAAH <333

as another personal aside, you’ve probably already noticed this tbh hehehe BUT when i write this dynamic thus far, i do write him as ada-ish dazai with reader versus pm!dazai with aku, but obviously reader has witnessed some of his cruelty and callousness towards her other partner so~ yeah!

[janumun]

The Pirate's Symbol(s): NSFW Alphabet [IkeSen Motonari]

Game: Ikemen Sengoku Pairing: Motonari/Female Reader

Rated: NSFW/18+ Words: 2.5k

Warnings: stockings fetish, spoilers for Motonari’s ‘condition’, sexual intercourse, mentions of exhibitionism/semi-public sex, (non-sexual) bondage, innuendoes and dirty-talk, masturbation

Author’s Notes: Motonari’s entire self is a joy, his route gave me some much needed, invigorating enemies-to-lovers, and I officially love him! [Totally swiped my heart right up without warning!]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Motonari is quick — you’d almost say adept — at sweeping off a cloth, or container, placed by your bedside. Although, your touch and whatever fire you generate in between the two of you does not bother him, he does prefer you both cleaner of the mess and fluids when holding you close in his arms, afterwards.

Wiping up the remnants of your passionate and, often vigorous, activities off of quivering thighs he presses apart, in gentle strokes of damp fibers. Movements of the cloth soft enough it doesn’t shock you into over-sensitivity but not soft enough you relax entirely beneath him, because that scarlet gaze is always fixated on you — your body language. And if you give away even an inch, he’s ready and up for round two (or four). [Bless yer stamina, matey!]

If not, he’s still up and happy to listen to his favorite flower-brained woman’s amusing, outrageous tales she narrates in animated conversation. While he whisks up a quick, invigorating meal for her at the kitchen counter, just as she rests her happy self at the table. Garnet gaze seemingly fixated upon the task at hand — spices being tossed, ladle being stirred, eggs whipped to perfection — but his answers are prompt and alert, although still carrying that insouciant edge. Indicating his attention; equal division in between feeding you and hearing you speak.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Motonari is fond of his mouth, and before you, he didn’t think of it as much of an achievement as he believes it now, when your jittery gaze seeks immediate relief (and lust) as soon as it lands upon that obvious smirk.

A single kiss and your thoughts are all but handed over to him on an elaborate platter. Your cheeks color dark and wide; restless eyes tracing across his mouth. Your own parting; pink tongue darting quick in a swipe across plush lips: all of you demanding more of him.

Yes, he is surprisingly (or not), in touch with a far more emotional side: Motonari adores your eyes, although you’re never hearing it from him. Your entire body speaks of honesty but the way he reads your thoughts so easy, in your gaze, there’s quite nothing as exhilarating or confounding as the love he captures in them. That quick, tight knot of your brow, your anger flaring in your eyes or the equally prompt melting, when he appeases you in gentle teases. He’s been so long used to not trusting that a person he sees this clearly through, and sees how she trusts; it’s not an entirely terrible thing to feel.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As mentioned above, the man doesn’t particularly care to leave you a mess post-coitus unless you ask it of him; there is little he’s able to refuse you. So when it does come (…heh) to cumming outside of your pussy, your mouth is a pretty (very pretty too) good substitute for him to ejaculate, without having to think of leaving external stains on you. Your throat clamping, then swallowing, around his orgasm, so he feels that slick slide of saliva and semen around him, as you moan.

Yer pretty darn hot, m’lady.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There are times he descends — quick and furious — into an almost juvenile state of petty jealousy [he realizes the immaturity of it, he just cannot! help! it!] and ends up turning that lust on you, instead.

He’d never actually do it but visualizing — in almost exact, murderous details — how he’d like to drag you into an empty room whenever Kicho gets all up in your face, and fuck you so hard your throat tears through screams lough enough Kicho hears each and every single sound and moan.

Or, clasp your chin in his fingers, whenever Hideyoshi’s a little too close for comfort at an Oda banquet, and kiss you senseless and noisy [pirates crave a flashy exhibition!].

He despises making a show of you to anybody, so that idea only stays in thoughts but also it’s mind-boggling, since it does get him hard on the spot.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before you, it was only ever through terrible necessity (extremely dire straits) that he — if ever and very sparing — sought casual sex. The occasions hadn’t been plenty and he’d be frighteningly specific about how he wanted to take a woman to bed.

Bathed, no make-up, no perfume, no scented products or jewelry — anything extra that he could accidentally touch and trigger a reaction. A clean, unscented futon he’d provide in a bare room. Any bonds or cloths he could get his hands on (buying his own and discarding immediately after), to tie their limbs, keep their movements limited; Motonari used.

Of course, there’d be the rare prostitute who’d drop immediately after visiting a client, or one who’d perceive his conditions extreme and over-the-top and think they could ‘change his mind’. The moment they’d try and cross the line, he’d fling them off, almost violently, heart racing, sweat marking each inch of exposed skin. Nauseous and barely tapped, before he’d stride out of the room.

He’s also witnessed open and perverse brothels — and corrupt seething dens — where men and women fuck, for all to see, in his line of work, so he’s no stranger to how sex works for others either.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s learning to let go and touch (just you) without the added barrier of gloves and since you so seem fond of his hands on you, Motonari likes any positions that allow his hands to move your body upon his; he isn’t picky.

Palms curved upon your hips so that your ass slaps against his pelvis each time he pulls back, the movements of his cock into and out of your pussy — a place you are both connected and he likes that. Or even when he can spread your thighs wide, press them apart before hooking his hands over your abdomen and just focusing on moving.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a pirate he’s a vortex of a man and slips all over the spectrum. Motonari’s goading is far softened with minimum barbs, when he’s in(side you) in bed with you. More velvet — than leathery — questions, soft smirk-y and probing,: “Ya like that, flower girl?” —as his mouth hovers just close to your ear, nose barely touching and tucking sweat soaked strands away from your temple. Definitely lands firm and midway between too serious and entirely silly. But he’s all focus on you, make no mistake.

He’s still got a filthy mouth on him, but dirty romantic liners are more his style, in bed (he wants you warmed as well as turned on!), in contrast to the complete indecent filth he threatens you with (a good time!) when the two of you are out and about.

“Pipe down, m’lady. The way yer moaning, they’re gonna think I’m fucking ya, right on deck.” Those eyes are burnished rubies; smile wide, crooked and unashamed, as he ducks close. “But maybe ya feel like putting on a show.”

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s clean down below (and silver-haired, yes) — he doesn’t go the ‘complete waxed up, no-hair in sight’ route, but rather prefers keeping his hair short-trimmed and well-groomed.

He’s also kept his pubic hair short and neat, for the rare occasions he does have sex, and an unkempt mass down there would leave him more likely and exposed to his partner’s fluids staying on him. He despises that.

Motonari doesn’t mind blood, dirt and grime on the field, nor the brine of the harsh sea sticking to his skin, but as soon as he’s done with — or in between — jobs, he takes the time to wash and clean himself up thoroughly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

[Also see G=Goofy] Motonari isn’t short with words of love. He isn’t reciting romantic poems but he is quick to let you know, in exact words, how much he loves you — and is loving being inside you — in the moment. Barriers definitely lower themselves — not all down, not completely back up — with this man, in bed.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

(As also mentioned in E=Experience) the man, previously, has sought intimacy only and only out of desperate necessity and when his hand is just not enough for him to relieve himself of his lust. Motonari, before you, jacked off, multiple times within a week, sometimes thrice (or more) in a single day. His desires, usually amped, following a particularly unsatisfying battle or raid.

After you, he still does take time off for some self-lovin’ (remember: stamina for daaays, and you’re mostly unable to match him so he makes do), just not as much as he used to, in the past.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

You and Motonari share a love for (clothing) imports from the seas beyond. He’s always up for sharing and discussing trade secrets, doling out clothing advice and helping you work out modern clothing from whatever fabrics are available to you.

Stockings might be one of his favorite products.

The fabric feeling absolutely exquisite against his palms when he rounds you close into his grasp, stood in between his spread thighs as he observes and hums beneath you, seated. A harmless joke you make, about a stocking fetish and the ensuing explanation soon after, has him grinning and dragging you down to test the material against his teeth.

“Yer sayin’ I got a thing for yer fancy underclothes? Heh, don’t think so. Seeing you in it just makes me wanna tear it all off, meu docinho de côco.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere you’re afforded privacy; although a little flirting with danger is good and being pinned in between the door and his body. Watching you try and smother your moans into your sleeves, skews that grin wider, that cock harder.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. He’s got a dirty mind, it’ll do the rest of the work when its got its catalyst: you.

Nothing gets you results faster than being honest with Motonari, or expressing your affections (even chaste) for him.

Tell him he looked especially handsome, earlier on a job out: with his hair slicked back and how hard it was for you to have held back from kissing him, on the spot. That you love him—

He’s on you so fast.

“That brain’s just gotta keep sprouting its flowers, huh.” He murmurs, tugging at your chin to swipe his tongue into you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Despite his treatment of you very early on in his route (the collar, the slavery deal), Motonari’s not into putting a collar on a person, romantic or otherwise. Collaring and hearing you call him your Master wouldn’t do much for him, playful or not.

He’s had to live a great chunk of his life as the Beggar Prince; experienced the devastating dregs of human society, including and not limited to being treated as one inferior, and having to watch people around at the very mercy of corrupt lords.

In retrospect, it isn’t something he might take pleasure in, in the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving or receiving, both take some getting used to within the bedroom. He finds the taste of you pleasant, when he withdraws wet digits from inside you and takes a careful swipe of the clear fluid across his skin. And has expressed interest in, and gone down on you several times.

Receiving gets a bit more gentle coax-y and requires reassurances, with Motonari. He doesn’t particularly like seeing his release all over you. Having to work through those barriers of his mind, but once he allows you, he does enjoy the slow kisses, and the soft slide of your mouth against him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His default setting is rough and furious. The two of you are usually frustrated passion by the time you actually get to his bedroom (he likes to prod and poke much too often in public, get you riled) so there’s only one way to go and it’s up. He’s spreading your thighs apart with none too gentle hands as he pushes through and into you, your own hold on him, white knuckled and almost delirious with the way his hips rock into you and his cockhead scraps across your front wall with his onslaught.

At times, however, especially after a high-risk mission; when he’s been close enough to stare Death in the face and survive, he likes to take his time being inside you, just being able to feel you. Once, twice, several times, he’s keeping you beneath, or mounted on top of him, coaxing your hips and your moans.

“Don’t look at me like that, flower girl. I’m alive, ain’t I? Com’ere. I’ll take those tears of yers.”

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Definitely! Any time he can have you, or get you close enough in private, you’re going to be fucking each other. He loves those little breathy, moan-laughters you make in half-panic/all arousal, each time he drives up to grind your hips close together, stuffed into a hallway closet.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Semi-public quickies are a thing and the closest to risky as he gets. As mentioned previously, he’s demanding enough over you, he doesn’t like men Kicho touching you, let alone hearing you when you sound like that.

Other kinks, most kinks, he’s down to try with his favorite dirty, flower-brained woman. He does however, draw the line at any kinks that might involve him using harsh, ugly words to degrade you or your body and/or being soiled.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

All I gotta say is: Pirate’s got stamina enough to power his ships through horn alone, over an entire week!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys translate to external objects. Which are always subject to germs, and need to be (excessively) cleaned by his standards, to keep them useful and usable. That’s far much more work than he’s usually willing to commit himself to.

And he has no need of them. Not when you respond plenty to his touch alone.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A lot! Motonari’s brand of filthy talk is polished to leave you damp in between the legs. He’s pulling the nastiest most wonderful innuendoes out of the most mundane of tasks.

“Ya like that old weapon?” He might ask of you, as you admire the carvings upon the handle of one of his clan’s katana. “Didn’t know ya liked the feel of handlin’ a sword between yer hands that much, m’lady.”

Leaving your mind reeling and cheeks flushing before withdrawing with a, “What’re ya cooking in that flower brain of yers? Heh... you’ve got a dirty mind.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Heavy, sensual pants against your ears. His groans and grunts enough to fan the fires of your own arousal, to have you ready to come, from just the sounds that can leave his throat. Motonari doesn’t care to be heard outside your boundaries, but he also doesn’t care to withhold his own sounds of pleasure from you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He almost swears (but will never tell you, in very direct words): the space in between your bare breasts smells almost sweet like flowers. He likes finding his way up and nosing in between your breasts — just skin-to-skin contact at a place he finds you’re at your most fragrant. Suckling and tugging at a nipple draws those moans and your scent more intense, so he nips and teeths around the place often.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

That beautiful cock — with the evidence of just enough silver at the base — is long enough it fits and curves snug into you, without entering into any discomforting places, deep. But he is thick enough, it takes you time (and many times) to not just hold your breath and tighten up around him on reflex, upon entry.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

(Read: S)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You’re almost always the one falling asleep first. Pirates are used to night raids and this one’s no different. He does prefer watching you sleep, late into the night, once you fall exhausted into slumber.

End Notes: Thank you for reading!

♧° Link to Master List °♡

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Alabasta (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

crocodile is one of my favorite villains in one piece for a number of reasons, and one of them is because he’s such a threat, the first real one faced in the grand line and one of the toughest in all of paradise. the villains from the arcs before this, like wapol or the agents from little garden, could barely even land a hit on luffy in actual combat. so crocodile is introduced here as an absolute force of nature, a complete contrast to recent villains and a very tangible threat. 

it’s an impression he very much lives up to later in the arc by crushing luffy not once but twice, which only makes luffy’s ultimate hard-won triumph feel all the better. luffy closes a huge gap over the course of alabasta in order to be able to beat crocodile, and giving us a sense of just how strong he is from the very start gives luffy clawing his way up to that level a lot more weight. 

the successive reveals of luffy’s family never fail to absolutely delight me, because in any other series they would almost certainly feel contrived, but knowing luffy, it is absolutely unsurprising he just never happened to mention his relatives. nobody asked! luffy’s unique brand of honesty is one of my favorite character quirks, because he’s very straightforward and in fact can’t lie for shit, but his priorities are so completely off the wall that he winds up omitting highly relevant information completely by accident. 

ace’s scene in alabasta really does impress me. oda’s said in an sbs that he knew ace’s fate from his introduction, which i find absolutely unsurprising given the intricacy of his story planning. that means he needed ace’s introduction to make him both likable and memorable enough in the space of just a couple chapters that the audience would be engaged when he became the focus of the story a couple hundred chapters on despite barely appearing at all in the intervening time, and he really succeeded. 

kohza is one of my favorite minor characters in the whole series, and i think he’s a big part of why alabasta’s civil war plotline works so well and feels so real. nobody on either side of the war actually wants to fight, but everyone has been driven to such desperation that they feel they have no other choice in order to save their country; and kohza exemplifies that. he's a good person who loves his country a lot, and who genuinely likes and cares about the royal family and vivi especially, and the only option he can see to save alabasta is terrible, but there’s nothing else he can do. 

it’s just fun for me to think about the fact that if crocodile was literally anything other than a very skilled logia, vivi would have ended the whole entire arc right here. 

i really like civil war storylines when they’re well-done, and i think alabasta is one of the best ones i’ve seen in media. most of it is down to what i mentioned earlier, about how nobody on either side actually wants to fight but feels like they have no choice but to. nobody here is actually in the wrong except for crocodile, and so until crocodile is defeated, nothing can be fixed- which is what luffy, of all people, is the one to realize. 

sanji’s mr. prince gambit is probably my single favorite part of alabasta, and i think one of the reasons i like it so much is because he basically beats crocodile at his own game. crocodile is terrifying in battle, but before anything else he’s a manipulator. he’s always working from the shadows, always deceiving people doing what he wants, and sanji manages to turn the tables on him and do the exact same back to him, twice. 

also sanji looks great in glasses

smoker and tashigi both get kind of unfortunately sidelined after this saga, but they’re both really great characters in alabasta. (tashigi especially; i’ll get to her later.) much like the rebel army, they’re good people trying to do the right thing in the tangled mess of tension and politics and resentment that is alabasta- and when that means working with pirates, they’ll buckle down and do it, despite how much it might contradict their worldviews. 

i love when events align in one piece so that people who don’t particularly like the strawhats wind up working with them for some common goal (as seen most prominently in impel down), and smoker and tashigi in alabasta are the first and still one of the best examples of that. 

the entirety of luffy versus crocodile round one is so well done. we’re a hundred and fifty chapters in, and although luffy has struggled in fights before now and then, we get the sense he hasn’t ever really been pushed to the brink, and he’s certainly never lost.

and then he does, completely and absolutely, without ever even landing a hit on his opponent, and it hits like a punch. 

oda seems to be a fan of characters just barely missing each other- the similar panel of robin and olvia running past each other from robin’s flashback comes to mind.

i’ve always liked that of all the strawhats, it’s usopp who gets the first “luffy is going to be king of the pirates” moment. they’ve all said it by the current chapters in wano (with the sole exception of robin, i believe), but usopp said it first, and that feels significant to me. he’s always been the one who feels the least secure in his place on the crew, but even so, he has so much faith in luffy. 

nami’s fight with miss doublefinger is pretty silly in places and i think it gets frequently (understandably, it must be said) overshadowed by zoro’s fight with mr. 1 directly afterwards, but i really like it nonetheless. it’s nami’s first real solo fight in the whole series, and once she finds her feet she kicks ass, and i really like that. it feels like a very satisfying development for her, to stand up and risk her life in direct combat for vivi’s sake. 

we’re now almost a thousand chapters in and its my firm belief that zoro versus mr. 1 is still one of the best fights in the entire series. i definitely think it’s probably zoro’s best fight- only his match with kaku compares. the narrative build over the course of the fight, from zoro struggling just to match mr. 1 (and getting shredded to pieces in the process) to cutting him down in one final stroke, is incredibly cool and satisfying to watch. it feels like a very tangible step forward for zoro in terms of ability, like a massive obstacle has been surmounted and, as he himself says, he’s now stronger for it. 

its also very cool that this is, i believe, the first appearance of what is probably observation haki, though it isn’t named or recognized as such. i’m always endlessly impressed by all the little moments of internal consistency that oda manages to sprinkle into his story. 

there’s barely any dialogue on these entire two pages, from crocodile dropping vivi to luffy and pell swooping in- the story is briefly told entirely through visuals- and i love that. it gives the impression of a single tense, frozen moment as vivi falls, which is then broken in spectacular fashion when luffy catches her. 

i really, really like the progression that runs through all three of luffy’s fights with crocodile. the gap between them goes from being impossible, with luffy unable to even land a hit and crocodile basically toying with him; to surmountable but still huge, with luffy able to land some hits but still outclassed; to finally putting them on basically even ground. and every inch of that growth on luffy’s part is hard-fought and hard-won and well-deserved. 

crocodile’s confidence in his abilities isn’t misplaced- he genuinely is that powerful. but if there’s anything we know about luffy by now, it’s that he doesn’t ever give up. it’s very fun to watch crocodile’s dismissiveness turn into disbelief turn into rage and frustration when luffy just won’t die. 

luffy is, additionally, pretty clearly a better brawler than crocodile (which makes sense, crocodile is clearly used to devastating long-range attacks with his powers while luffy grew up fighting giant wildlife with his bare hands), which means that by the time of their last fight, where they’re just whaling on each other in the catacombs and crocodile is starting to get sloppy and desperate and lose control, if anything it’s luffy who has the upper hand. 

zoro and sanji’s dynamic is always a favorite of mine, and one of the things i like best about them is how perfectly in sync they always manage to be when it comes to things that actually matter, despite fighting like cats and dogs pretty much every other time. i’ll never understand people who think they genuinely aren’t friends. 

tashigi is really good in alabasta, okay. she essentially has her own entire character growth arc. she goes from her stance in loguetown, where she isn’t even tolerant of (fully legal!) bounty hunters, to here, where she’s forced to confront that the world isn’t nearly as black and white as she’s always believed it to be, that sometimes pirates are good and allies of the government are bad, and ultimately makes the right choice to help the strawhats even though it clearly pains and frustrates her that she can’t do anything more herself. 

i’ll be forever mad that her only really significant appearance after this in punk hazard didn’t really live up to what her character deserved. 

i really like how the countdown sequence is done. the tension is ratcheting up and up and up as the clock ticks down in the final seconds, panels cutting all over the city to show all the different characters, everyone who’s caught up in this conflict and everyone who’ll die if the cannon fires-

and then the clock hits zero, and we get this panel that’s just... quiet, after all the madness, as we see how vivi stopped the detonation. i think oda is very good at setting up his pages so they have a flow to them, so no matter how quickly you actually read sometimes things feel like they’re going very fast and all happening at once and then it slows down and gives the reader a chance to breathe, if only to speed up again later. i think oda is really good at pacing in general, really, both on a micro level like this and on a larger scale. 

luffy’s greatest strength isn’t really his strength. he’s strong, absolutely, but that’s not really why he wins the fights he shouldn’t win. he wins because he just doesn’t fucking stay down. his fight with katakuri is probably the best example of this, because katakuri has him beat in pretty much every category except sheer endurance, and there as here, it’s that endurance that winds up getting luffy the win in the end. 

i do love that it’s the rain that ends the war. not the explosion and pell’s sacrifice, not vivi’s pleading, not even luffy kicking crocodile into the stratosphere, but the rain, the thing alabasta’s been missing for too long, the thing crocodile stole, the only thing all these people are fighting over. 

it’s crocodile’s symbolic defeat- at the same moment his power is broken by luffy, the stranglehold of dehydration he’s been using to foment war and rebellion is all at once gone, and he’s left with nothing at all, and alabasta can finally find peace and start to heal again. 

i always love the little moments that show, usually without words, just how much the strawhats love each other, and all of them unanimously waiting until vivi is out of sight to collapse so that she won’t worry, won’t see how ragged they ran themselves for their sake, is definitely one of them. 

i adore vivi’s sendoff, because while its sad she has to go, the certainty that someday they’ll meet again and that even if not they’ll always be crew manages to make this scene endlessly hopeful instead (which, i think, is also a good summary of one piece’s tone as a whole, at least in its more serious moments). luffy never says goodbye, after all, and nobody ever really leaves the strawhat pirates. 

i’m really looking forward to vivi’s re-entry to the story. i really, really want to see her reunion with the strawhats. 

hey look, it’s the panel my profile picture is from! 

the mystery surrounding robin and her past is built up in little ways long before enies lobby, from her harsh reaction when confronted with by tashigi to her aversion to being called by her given name to this flashback, of her talking to cobra about her dream. of them, the latter is my favorite, because i think it’s probably the most sincere she is until enies lobby- which makes sense, given she thinks she’s about to die. 

like many things about robin in alabasta, this gets cast in a new light by her backstory. if she dies here, so too does the entire legacy of ohara- but she’s so beaten down and hopeless that she really doesn’t see any light ahead to strive for. there’s no hope left, for her, and the whole world against her. 

and then there’s luffy, who creates hope everywhere he goes, who makes her live anyways. 

this is a hell of a spread to hook us very effectively right into the sky island saga. it’s a perfect reminder of just how much we still don’t know about all the endless mysteries of the grand line, and just how many adventures are still yet to be had.

[linkspooky]

A Mafia Member Who Doesn’t Kill

Bungou Stray Dogs chapter 88 has made it clear to me just how strong the Akutagawa and Odasaku parallels are. They are both orphans, raised to kill and taught their only value is the strength of their abilities that they use for killing, only to slowly unlearn that behavior over time. They are both characters who value life above everything else. I’m going to explore the connection more in depth, under the cut.

1. Origins

The temptation might be to parallel Oda to Atsushi, and Akutagawa to Dazai. Not only is Akutagawa Dazai’s first and direct disciple, and currently wearing his coat, but Atsushi has always been “the good one” of the pairing. The one obsessed with being good, and saving people in the way Oda was. Oda is also the closest thing Bungou Stray Dogs has to an example of living the life of “a good man” that all the main characters are currently striving for. However, I would say that it’s Akutagawa who parallels Oda’s life far more than Atsushi. 

Of course Akutagawa parallels Dazai’s life quite a lot as well.He was recruited by Dazai the same way Dazai was recruited by Mori,wears Dazai’s jacket as his most precious possession, but he shares so much in common with Oda too including his origin. 

In their youth they’re both referred to as killers who kill without showing any emotion. They start out completely empty and dead to all feelings inside, because neither of them have experienced anything to give them a reason to value life. 

Fukuzawa suddenly recalled a rumor he had heard about a young redheaded hit man who wielded two pistols, and killed his targets while never showing any emotions. - BSD LN 3

They both kill because they’re strong, and that’s all they’re seen as. Both boys, orphans with nothing else to live for have been gifted with incredibly strong abilities. They kill, they don’t relish in it, they don’t gain anything from it unlike men in positions of power like Mori Ougai because they are ultimately tools, but they kill nonetheless. 

“I’ve been working alone as an assassin for as long as I can remember,” he began. “I’ve never wanted friends or a boss... but seeing a martial artist like you compromise your principles to save one of your men... It makes me kinda jealous. He must be the happiest guy in the world to have you as a boss.” - BSD LN 3

They both start killing as a means of survival, because they are both orphans who have no one to care for them and look out for them. However, they also slowly over time begin to kill as a way to demonstrate their worth. Akutagawa was an orphan who lost the small amount of friends he was protecting, Oda had no organization he was working for, no connections their lives are utterly empty except for their strength so they come to understand killing as something that gives their life meaning and value. If only because there is nothing else for them. 

However, for both of them killing isn’t enough. It’s merely surviving not living. Which is why no matter how strong they become they both remain empty, and they both feel insufficient, and even jealous of others. Oda is jealous of Fuzukawa’s connection to his subordinate, Akutagawa is jealous of Atsushi who is valued and connected to everyone around him and treated better by Dazai. This jealousy is also a realization that they are missing something in themselves but they don’t know what. 

Most skilled hitmen looked down on others as if they were insects. Their eyes were cold and lacked compassion. But this boy’s were different. They weren’t cold or any temperature. They were just empty. Not only was there no compassion or kindness, there was no hate or passion to kill. His eyes were those of a person who had given up on hope and despair - the eyes of a person who had removed himself from emotional things. - BSD LN 3

Both Akutagawa and Oda start at a point where they are killing, not because they enjoy it, or they’re particularly sadistic, or think they are just or right. They kill because it’s the only thing they’re good at. They kill to demonstrate worth. 

This kid’s different from the old me. Perhaps he never felt any joy from killing others. He was probably only killing because he had nothing to do. - BSD LN3

This also plays into a fundamental misunderstanding that Atsushi has of Akutagawa. He basically views Akutagawa as a bully who kills people to flaunt his strength in front of others. 

He doesn’t realize that Akutagawa is strong yes, but that’s all he is. He clings to that strength, because he’s been given no other alternative. He hasn’t been given nearly the opportunities that Atsushi has. If there is a difference between Oda and Akutagawa, Akutagawa is noticably angrier, more resentful, but that’s because anger is the first emotion he ever definitely felt. 

I feel hatred.  I am no longer a dog. I have become a human being with feelings of my own. -’A Heartless Dog’

Akutagawa and Oda are both boys who lived considerably empty lives, that is until they meet somebody who shows them an alternative and changes their lives forever. Oda and Akutagawa meet someone and from then on they want to find meaning in their lives. 

2. An Assassin Who Doesn’t Kill

Akutagawa kills without hesitance, and yet I would say he’s the only character in the manga who values life as much as Oda does. This might seem like a paradox but both of their characters are built around this paradox. That’s why they become mafia members who do not kill. 

Akutagawa’s response to the old man in the latest chapter seems sassy, but Akutagawa’s never sassy, he’s overly serious and sincere about everything. He’s saying what he really thinks. All people are equally alive. Akutagawa is someone especially aware of the value of life, because in the past his life was treated as something so worthless. 

He was not afraid to die. He was thinking perhaps even hell would be a better place to live then here. JJust continuing to live in this state was suffering, after all. 

[...]

What’s the point of our lives? He had once asked travelers in their place this equestion. Why Must I go on living?

It’s because they have both lived through the absolute worst circumstances, that they value life more, and go on searching for these answers. Akutagawa equally treats life as worthless (kills people without hesitation) and also values life (tries to give people a reason to live, tries to justify his own life, tries to fight against the idea that someone from the slums lives a meaningless life). 

When Kyouka finds a reason to live even though he’s not the one that gave it to her, he’s genuinely happy for her. Because Akutagawa values life, and wants people to find a meaning in life even though he kills. 

Akutagawa is currently on the same path Oda is on. The lines in this scene are vague because they’re meant to apply to both Dazai and Akutagawa. He met a certain person, joined a certain organization, and the hope for death in his eyes vanished. 

Oda gave Dazai reason. Dazai gave Akutagawa reason. Oda was also given reason when he met Natsume. All three continue on with a life of empty killing until an outside force intervenes and teaches them there could be something more to life. 

They both come across someone who tells them that there is more to life than just killing. That they are capable of more than that, and they actually follow through and stop killing. Because, Akutagawa, and Oda deep down respect life. As cruel and heartless as they can be, Akutagawa is also one of the most heartfelt and respectful characters in the series when he opens up. 

Akutagawa and Oda are people who understand other people on a level deep down, because they’re genuinely interested in the lives of others. Akutagawa is the only person who thinks about Atushi in a deep way, in ways Atusshi doesn’t even really want to understand himself. Oda is the first person to treat Dazai like a person, behind the genius. They understand, even the ugly parts of people because they don’t really look away from the dark parts of the world, of life, because no one’s experienced life’s cruelty like they have. Oda sees Dazai for who he is, and tells him that helping people probably won’t make him feel good, and that he’ll never feel good, but he should help people anyway because he’s capable of doing good. 

Oda is the one who started the journey in an assassin trying to find meaning in life, but he didn’t finish it. In the end Oda’s character arc ends tragically, and his path is half finished. Because, Oda eventually chooses death. 

I think a lot of people don’t realize this character flaw of Oda, because he’s usually such a good example, but he chose to kill again, chose to become a martyr to Dazai because he genuinely gave up on living when it became too hard for him again. 

“Odasaku...” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but - don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something...” - BSD, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

Oda died because of tragic circumstances yes, but Oda also dies because he chose death. He chose the escape. He chose the easier path. There were still people that needed him even after he lost the orphans, people like Dazai, and Akutagawa who were orphans in need of help as well and Oda chose to let go of them. 

Oda gave up on his attempt to find meaning in life, because the best way to find meaning in life is simply by living it. 

‘People live to say themselves, it’s something they realize right before they die, eh?’ - BSD, Osasmu Dazai and the Dark Era

Oda chooses to die for the sake of someone else, rather than living for himself. While that’s a tragic choice it’s also a bad choice with consequences, because now there’s nobody around to help Dazai and Akutagawa who also appeared in light novel two and who both needed him to some extent. 

In that sense Akutagawa can be stronger than Oda. Their lives are parallels but they’re also exact opposites. Akutagawa starts out by losing every orphan he was trying to take care of. Oda finishes his life when he loses the orphans who he was trying to raise and protect. 

The choice they make in those moemnts is the opposite ones. Akutagawa tries to choose simply revenge at first the exact same way as Oda did, but when he meets Dazai he realizes there was something he wanted even more than revenge. 

The question resounded in Akutagawa’s heart, and a single answer floated to the surface. Something he qished for. His heart’s desire.  The lowest of the low. In a world that was the lowest of the low, it was a wih that could never possibly be granted.  Akuagawa had to force the words out of his dry, trembling throat. “I want to find a reason... a meaning to my life.” - SHORT STORY A HEARTLESS DOG

Akutagawa wants to live for himself, stronger than even Oda did. Whereas, Oda stops wanting everything. 

Dazai paused before continuing. “I would be able to find something - a reason to live.” 

I looked at him; he looked back at me. 

“I wanted to be a novelist.” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t deserve such a life if I killed someone during a mission. That’s why I never killed anyone. But that’s all in the past. There’s only one thing I want now.” - BSD VOLUME 2, Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

Oda’s words to Dazai to conitnue to live are meaningful, but he’s also a hypocrite to those words. He tells Dazai to live on, when he made the choice to go off and die. While, Akutagawa as dirty, and arduous as his path is, is the one who keeps struggling to live no matter what like a stray dog starving in the streets.

Which is why Akutagawa is the one who is going to finish what Oda started so long ago, and be the true inheritor to his will. Utlimately, I predict, that’s the path his character development and arc are going to take him. 

[our-wargame]

miss the sun, and it starts to snow

Rating: M Pairing: Oda Sakunosuke / Dazai Osamu Tags: Implied Sexual ContentI...I...legitimately wrote this for fluff week...but it's not fluff. Mutual Pining. I can't even use the fluff and angst tag because it's literally not fluff. Chuuya's a Hoe and Also The Reason I Wrote This - Thank Him. Angst. angst with a ? ending. Ambiguous/Open Ending. Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence. One suicide mention. Hurt/Comfort. But Mostly Hurt Word Count: 2099 Status: Complete AO3 Link

Summary:

Sleeping with someone who cares about you too much despite the warning signs is the most selfish thing Dazai's done in the entirety of his lifetime, and he's slaughtered numbers and brought down entire nations to try and understand himself.

He knows this will not end well. They keep fucking like it might.

The first time Oda Sakunosuke fucks Dazai Osamu, it's a little more than a good decision made by two mature consenting parties. It starts with a slow night at Bar Lupin; low lights, lax words, long talks of nothing and everything. Tonight is not the first time Dazai looked at Odasaku and remembered the stars glittering for them, or the last time that he had thought, maybe the galaxy in its lonesome darkness could learn to live with some light. But it is the first time Dazai figures out the look in Odasaku's eyes, finally registers it for what it is. He breaks off from the middle of a bad joke. With an elbow on the counter propping him up and his chin in his hand, his bangs dance in and out of his eyes when he gives a little shake of his head, a little grin. "Odasaku."

"Mm?" Odasaku's gaze is too warm, too kind. All of his features are even softer under the mellow lighting. 

Dazai's grin gets a little meaner. "You should know better than to look at me like that!" Like you want me. "If you were anyone else, I'd have already taken your hand in mine and asked you to come home with me!" His drink tastes like layers and layers of lies. Don't.

The gate's been blown wide open; there are an infinite number of responses that could walk into his arms. But this is Odasaku, Odasaku who tils his head a degree, says, with meaning, "Do you want me to go home with you?"

Odasaku holds himself still, waits because he understands Dazai needs to search him. When Dazai can find nothing in his eyes that say anything else besides I'd choose you, if ever you'd let me, he's a fool for wanting to give in.

He tosses back the rest of the contents of his glass, a mess of melted ice and soft heat splashing down his throat, then rises to a stand. The bar stool shakes a little from his- enthusiasm? anxiousness? Odasaku waits. "I do." Dazai replies, and it is the most honest thing he has said so far, but that doesn't negate that it takes every bit of his willpower to keep holding Odasaku's gaze. They could stop here. They could turn back to talking about nothing at all.

The pressing need to flee battles against the way his chest hurts when he thinks about Odasaku and his willingness to offer a friend the universe.

Shut up. Just shut up. He should stop now. Shut. Up.

"Will you?" says Dazai.

So their first kiss is not preceded by the slide of a grin, the slip of a laugh. Dazai steps into Odasaku's space, a little concerned with how his approach feels like he's threatening Odasaku more than anything else, but Odasaku is already leaning in, slotting their mouths together. And that is that. That is that, because then Odasaku disengages, looks down to assess Dazai's reaction, absolutely overreacting in his care and attention. Dazai stares back at him, doing the same. And then they are leaving Lupin.

The first time Odasaku fucks Dazai, there is a little more to it than what's said. It may be a mistake, because this is not how things are supposed to go, is it? You can acknowledge your feelings, tuck them away, and never bring them up again. You can acknowledge your feelings and choose not to pursue them. But he wants to.

The beginnings of regret, the poison in his veins, is watered down, bearable. 

That night, Odasaku part his lips with his own, again and again and again. Dazai's had a couple of meaningless hookups with nameless mafia members before, but this is anything but that, so he fumbles in every instant that Odasaku is too close and yet not close enough. The lingering scent of smoke on Odasaku's coat lights the room. Dazai gets his hands in the thick of Odasaku's hair, presses teeth to the shell of an ear, slides his tongue over steady collarbone, trying to burn bruises there. Sometime later, he find himself burying his face into the warm crook between neck and shoulder, just breathing them in.

Lying in the same bed in the aftermath, Dazai knows he doesn't regret this but he may come to. The truth is, he's afraid of what comes next.

"Osamu," says Odasaku, rescuing Dazai, rather jarringly, out of his own head. "Stop thinking so loudly." It is a request- talk to me.

Dazai closes his eyes. He tugs the blankets over his head, curling his entire body inward, towards Odasaku, but keeping distance. Then he finds Odasaku's fingers, leaves the back of his hand against Odasaku's palm. Odasaku's thumb comes down to tap his palm once, then retreats, because you can't corner a stray dog and expect it not to get away in any way it knows how to. Dazai leaves between two and three in the morning anyways. Odasaku lets him, only telling him to grab an extra coat from the closet because of the cold. This is the little Dazai can comply with, so he complies, he does.

Sleeping with someone who cares about you too much despite the warning signs is the most selfish thing Dazai has done in the entirety of his lifetime, which is really something considering he's slaughtered numbers and brought down entire nations to try and understand himself. 

He knows this will not end well, so the only question is if the war he's fighting is between knowing and wanting to believe differently, or deciding who he can bring himself to trust more.

This does not end well. They keep fucking like it might.

****

The first time Dazai uses Odasaku's given name, Odasaku isn't even present. Using it is an accident, the unfortunate result of accumulating far more hours of stress than sleep, particularly the last four nights, which have requested the best of the Port Mafia to meet on each one. More importantly, The first time that Dazai says Sakunosuke, it is not so much an accident as it is a mistake. This means he can bite his tongue all he wants when he realizes what's left his lips, but the rest of the room falls silent with or without him. Chuuya's head snaps up, off of the meeting table from where it was resting in nap and the expression he turns on Dazai is both too incredulous and violent to be a grin.

"What a scandal- the executive sleeping with the errand boy!'" Chuuya gasps. "Does this mean Sakunosuke-"

Dazai plunges his hand into his pocket. Chuuya doesn't even bother with his ability- just tilts his head, lets the entire pistol fly by, clocking the wall and clattering to the ground.

Triumphant. "-is finally moving up the ladder?" Vicious. "The man deserves a different position! It's only right to return the favor...I assume he puts you in a different one every night-" 

Dazai contributes a solid effort towards putting a bullet through Chuuya's kneecap. It is a good place to go for, because even reconstruction surgery does not revive that which dies. In the end, their meeting table collects some new scars and the Golden Demon is summoned to hold him back. He cannot be objective about whether it is more for his own good or for Chuuya's, but his partner's sneer is telling, as is the gloat, the edge of his coat flaring out when he shows Dazai his back and skips off.

Dazai not hate Chuuya. There is nothing to be held against Chuuya, and he will acknowledge Chuuya's act of grace ungrudgingly. They're dogs after all. To savage without mercy when weakness is exposed is expected of them. Those who can not understand are driven from the pack and those who teach the law to others walk on. Dazai prefers the stray dogs.

He loathes himself a little more. 

 For Sakunosuke, today is a visit to the kids. He spends the usual number of hours of the afternoon with them, until his phone rings. The number of people who would call him are few, and the fraction of them who would call right now are even fewer. He knows it's Dazai. Even as he brings the phone to his ear, he knows there's something wrong.

"Odasaku-"

"Where are you," he interrupts, and his voice is rough from the worry so he swallows. Tries again. "Dazai, I'm coming. Where are you?"

"...your apartment. In 10?"

"Be there in 10." He promises. A moment is spent debating whether or not to hang up- would Dazai prefer to stay on call? But the line goes dead and he gets moving. Quick hugs for the kids, his thanks goes to the curry shop owner, and then he's gone.

There's very little that distresses Dazai. With his lips pressed in a tight line, Sakunosuke grips the steering wheel tighter and tries to keep within twice the speed limit. This is his fault.

Dazai's always known how Sakunosuke feels about him, just like he's known it's never not been mutual, even before Dazai said yes, before they'd walked away, hand in hand, that first night. But it's fault, because then he let Dazai drift, walk free. He thought it was time that would slowly pull Dazai into coming to terms with believing- they could make it work. But now he sees what he was extending, what he thought was kindness, for only its flaws. Right now, Dazai does not need Sakunosuke's patience.

What Dazai needs is a reminder. A reminder that he is only everything to Sakunosuke. Even if this does not end well...Sakunosuke is too selfish to want anything else for them. 

Racing through the city takes an eternity. He takes the stairs instead of the elevator to give himself something to do, with his heartbeat thundering in his head, but counts to ten, reigns himself in, when he works the doors instead of breaking them down.

Dazai lies in their bed, lies on his side, doesn't lift his head. "Odasaku..."

"I'm here." Sakunosuke murmurs. The mattress sinks a little when he sits on the edge of the bed, his back to Dazai. After a moment, he hears it creak again, Dazai shifting, moving close so he can reach and wrap an arm around Odasaku's waist, rest his hand on Odasaku's knee. Odasaku threads their fingers together. He doesn't know what it is that set Dazai off, because there are too many possibilities. Life. Death. Work.  Mafia. Osamu. Sakunosuke. Nothing. Everything. If he could take Dazai's misery and make it his own, he would.

Dazai squeezes his fingers. Sakunosuke makes himself breathe.

 An eon goes by. And then another. Humans live, humans die. Someone scrawls down history in letters and sends bottles out to sea. 

Dazai whispers, "How's Sakura?" 

"I love you."

Dazai flinches like he's been burned. This is the first time Odsaku has said it out loud, but is only cruel for him to give the words to Dazai right now. Sakunosuke relaxes his grip so that Dazai can disengage if he wants to, but this time, if Dazai runs, Odasaku will chase him. This doesn't mean he isn't tensed from head to toe, doesn't have the rest of his muscles locked. 

"I love you too."

Odasaku's inhale is sharp. He wants, so badly wants to believe that this isn't a goodbye.

 They could run away. Ango would help them hide the kids, the curry shop owner....and then what? Move, pack up every time, word of men in black are spotted some dozen miles away? Port Mafia is ruthless, Mori relentless.

They could part ways. It is- possible- that Odasaku will be allowed to leave the organization and yet, unlikely. Mori is a man of logic. He will find a way to use Sakunosuke up entirely beforehand, or if he is let go, somehow, Dazai will be used to call him back. Neither of them are okay with either of these.

They could die. It has been some time since he's asked, because he's stayed willing to learn himself, and because Sakunosuke still wants to write some day. This must be where Dazai's thoughts go now, and Sakunosuke trips over the same rabbithole. But they deserve better than that. If Sakunosuke is to die, it will be dying fighting.

They could stay. They could live and hurt and die a little and stay.

 His ability only sees six seconds into the future. He does not know how this ends. Dazai's fingers are warm against his.

---

Notes:

I'm dying to debrief the story owo.... As an additional disclaimer, I wrote the beginning and middle and end bit in entirely different moods but humor me and pretend it came out okay. [Legitimately Chuuya’s part is what convinced me to develop the rest of it mwahhaa]

*claps my hands* Though it's technically an open ending, I prefer Dazai still holding Odasaku's hand. :) He stays.

Let me know what you thought (tumblr replies yo); as always, reblogs appreciated + hmu on tumblr to talk odazai

[touchmycoat]

ASL

YAAAAHHH

Ace

how i feel about this character

He Is The Dude. Deserved so much better. Himbo extraordinaire until the trauma hits. Fucks like hell.

all the people i ship romantically with this character

Oh y’know! Marco & Sabo. Deuce omg. Give the guy some devotion he deserves it.

my non-romantic otp for this character

Thatch. Nami & Robin! I really think they’d get along lmfao—he and Nami would be such bros, and he and Robin are trauma buddies. I’ll write that fic one day.

my unpopular opinion about this character

uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh does shipping him with Sabo count as an unpopular opinion? lmfaooo

OH I KNOW. I’m 100% of the opinion that him dying is an excellent narrative choice on Oda’s part.

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

*insert link to Second Chances and the clown emoji here*

(obv, i wish he’d gotten the emotional catharsis of Marineford without having to actually go through Marineford and die in the process)

Sabo

how i feel about this character

Problematic™ and i love it. he’s become the designated character for all the most banger lines I can think of in my fics ‘cause he’s that humming snarky bitch who refuses to apologize. but ofc he’s deep in the thickets of feelings with Ace; that’s his one weakest spot.

all the people i ship romantically with this character

Ace, Marco, Koala

my non-romantic otp for this character

i feel like he... doesn’t have friends...? fjdnks in the sense where all his bros are bros5ever4life and he’s literally 0 to 100, and his 100s are Ace & Koala (and Marco’s like, a 98 but a bitch don’t gotta say it out loud). So his “romantic” and “friendship” are not very far away from each other.

my unpopular opinion about this character

i don’t think this is actually too unpopular, but the fact that he’s not really been his own character yet? i don’t disagree with the idea that Oda created Sabo because he regretted killing off the Cool Older Brother figure. But tbh i don’t particularly care, i think Oda has proved himself a consistently good storyteller (when it comes to male characters ahahah) and will make Sabo work.

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

*continues inserting Second Chances* but no, uh, i’m really looking forward to Mariejois! I wish he’d have a character line already and Mariejois is shaping up to be that for him. Very Excited.

Luffy

how i feel about this character

Yes! Yes! All the way yes!

Listen I love that he’s asexual. I love that he’s fucking dumb. I love that he has and will fistfight women. He makes me cackle, he makes me cry, he makes my heart pound. He’s just, excellent on every single level. I stan.

all the people i ship romantically with this character

Zoro, mostly! WCI made me into Sanji/Luffy lmfao. One-sided Boa Hancock i stan her she’s valid. I’d read Luffy/Nami.

my non-romantic otp for this character

every. body. Usopp!!!!! Omg buddy boys. Like, literally everybody. Everybody. Luffy’s just great!!!!

my unpopular opinion about this character

djfkdjfnkdj i dunno?? that he deserves to fistfight evil women??

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

i’m so so so soooooo curious about how Oda will handle Zoro’s Thriller Bark sacrifice. I don’t necessarily wish Luffy will find out, but narratively speaking there’s no way Oda will just let that hang, right????? I dunno????? Can’t wait to know????

Also when will he fight Shanks omg omg omg 

[danwhobrowses]

Valentines 2020: A Celebration of My Ships

So it’s valentine’s day again, and...yeah it’s not too great when you’re single is it? Considering that I’ve already gone through a tub of ice cream...

But, it doesn’t mean I’m a cynic, quite the opposite. Most of my fandoms involves a ship in some shape or form, hell I shipped before I even knew what shipping was, so I’m gonna talk about some of them...the ones that still make me happy and didn’t crash and burn in heartbreaking and frankly insulting fashion (looking at you Homestuck ¬_¬), gotta mention that these are not all the ships I ship, they’re just some of the ones I’m quite consistently high on

New Entries So with new fandoms come new ships...as is the usual formula anyway, though my pattern of watching things is usually with some delay, I only watched Rurouni Kenshin and started My Hero Academia in 2019, I still hold off on Attack on Titan and My Hero Season 4 because if I get in, I get IN. So these fandoms may not be new, but they are new to me Steven Universe is very new to me, I’ve been aware of how good it is and their concepts like Fusion. I like it, particularly Lapis Lazuli I really relate to her, but ship wise the two I really like are the obvious ones; Steven x Connie and Ruby x Sapphire (Garnet)

Garnet is badass and chill at the same time, but when she unfuses we see the stuff that makes me smile, the pda between Ruby and Sapphire is adorable, the little pecks and whatnot softens me up like no man’s business. Steven and Connie also have the mushy dynamic with both of them deeply into each other but still being strong individuals. The love for each other is equally platonic as it is romantic as they gel together, both being strong willed in different ways. The laughter probably gets me the most with both of them, the genuine laughter is so sweet and so realistic it’s hard not to love. My Hero Academia seems to be our next wave of shonen anime and for good reason, it does high notes so well and the cast of characters are vibrant and exciting. I haven’t hit Season 4 yet since I’m waiting till it’s all done to binge so I may be a little behind on some stuff (sadly it’s hard to avoid spoilers, I know about Infinity and Unbreakable). While I do like Deku x Uraraka, Tetsutetsu x Kendo and Eraserjoke but the two that I find most enjoyable are Todomomo and Kamijirou

(artist nonoko135 btw, bit tough to find a single image with both ships) Fairly popular ships in their own right, Todomomo doesn’t get many hints but they are sweet, naive rich kids with their own confidence issues, it also feels like they look out for each other especially after the final exam they did together. With Kamijirou though it’s probably one I favour if I had to choose between the two, simply because it’s a dynamic I really like; she busts on him so hard to mask her enjoyment of his company and he takes it because he feels at ease around her, the best part is when Kaminari goes 0 volts, he makes her laugh and that’s kinda big for Jirou given how self-conscious and stoic she can be. Rurouni Kenshin was always on my list, I have often heard about the Swordsman with a blade that cuts no-one. The anime is a bit up and down, after Shishio it’s just filler, but as documented in my Redemption Arc post it is at its core a great story of redemption for the main character, and the driving force for Kenshin’s redemption is his love for Kaoru

While Sano and Megumi have a unique dynamic hinted to be romantic at times, nothing can really beat Kenshin and Kaoru, she literally became Kenshin’s conscience, a representation of his hope to be a good man away from the shadow of Battousai the Manslayer. It may be your traditional romance of the two wanting to be by each other’s side in danger but it works so well given the kind of danger Kenshin is often in. Kaoru still strives to protect herself and aid Kenshin in a way that doesn’t make her continuously wonder about being a burden and Kenshin does everything in his power to keep Kaoru from pain, physical and emotional, even if it meant leaving to keep her safe. The main part of what makes this lovely is the fact that not only did Kaoru’s influence make Kenshin value his own life once more but after continual torment in his past she still saw him as the person he wanted to be, and welcomed in a new home, a new family he was able to live a life he never imagined he could deserve. The Regulars Our Regulars are the ships I still consistently ship, they’re not very old but they’re still pretty great and they still stand the test of time. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has quite a few ships over its 6 (coming up 7) season lifespan, being the longest surviving MCU tv series and one of the most consistently great shows MCU offered - especially Season 4, some of the best TV was on Season 4. But while Philinda is close, Mack and Yoyo or even Piper and Davis (don’t, I don’t care if you believe she’s a lesbian with the hots for May these are my ships) there is one one ship in Shield you can all rally behind, Fitzsimmons

Even when canon it is a consistent emotional rollercoaster. One of those ships where the writers know you love it and decide to put you through as much pain and emotional torment as humanely possible. But you endure it, because these two smart kids are worth it. They have sweet moments, badass moments, emotional moments and even though they get brought apart time and time again, they still find each other, the universe cannot stop them - and it better end happily for them come next season. Overwatch was a phenomenon when it came out a few years ago, Blizzard may have caused it to have some heavily bad rep but I still look forward to its sequel coming out. Given its large roster and most of the characters’ sexuality and relationship status up in the air, it leaves a lot of room for shipping. I do still love Anahardt, Mercy76 kinda falling due to 76 being gay but I like Gency too, my rarepairs include McPharah and Symmzo but my favourite is actually Meihem.

Now I know, Mei’s only voice lines towards Junkrat are cold, they have differing views in terms of omnics and...due process of the law. But there’s a lot they do have in common; both are quite intelligent engineers having made their weapons by hand, both endured trauma and both love their puns. But even the stuff that make them different can compliment one another. You don’t have to like it, but I do, I enjoy the dynamic of Jamison being so head over heels that he embarrasses himself to try and get Mei’s attention, while Mei softens to the fact that his very nature is warped by his lawless upbringing and that deep down he is an exciting and in his own way sweet guy.  Back to anime, because what else do I do with my day, getting into One Piece was always going to be a long effort, keeping tabs on the Manga does make it easier and I’ve been able to catch up quickly. Ships are shaky territory with One Piece because Oda does make a point of not having romance happen a lot, not to existing living characters at least. But I still have the ones I like; Shanks x Makino, Sabo x Koala, Franky x Robin, Sanji x Pudding, Rebecca x Koby, the list goes on, but my favourite has to be Zoro x Tashigi

May not be up there with the ‘big ships’ of One Piece but I do enjoy them the most. Individually the two are characters I have deep interest in; Zoro is well Roronoa Fucking Zoro, santoryu swordsman extraordinaire, master of nothing happening and will cut you 8 ways to Sunday, but Tashigi is a character I like because she also tries, unlike Zoro she isn’t blessed with 2 years training with Mihawk and she’s at constant arms with this self doubt that as a Woman she won’t be as strong (and probably whoever of influence to her made her believe such a thing), people may get on her back for never winning a fight but she fights strong people without a second thought. But back to the pairing, they have an interesting dynamic; two very similar people on different sides of the law, I don’t think Tashigi continues to chase him simply because he refused to cut her in their fight and I don’t think it’s just her former resemblance to Kuina that gets Zoro so riled up about her, I mean Zoro is usually so chill to side characters to the point where he’s ready to throw down but with Tashigi, it’s different, they bicker but he also came to her aid. I still continue to hope that Tashigi shows in Wano for more Zoro interaction, and to prove herself to fans and to Zoro that she is strong and capable. One of my favourite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, a combination of laughter, tears and deep philosophical character journeys in a 20th century world with the alchemy fantasy element drawn from actual legit alchemical sources. It just hits all the right notes for me, and ships hit right too; I love most of the ships from EdWin, AlMay and LingFan, but like Fitzsimmons there is one ship that stands above even the main characters, Royai.

Mustang and Hawkeye right from the bat have that connection that needs no dancing around, they care for each other but they work together. Like the rest of the ships they banter, argue but always have each other’s backs, to the point that they go into an insane rage at even the threat of the other being hurt. I don’t think anyone can not ship these two, that’s how strong their chemistry is, even if they can’t officially label it as a relationship because of their jobs it’s that line in the sand that everyone knows it, because it’s impossible to ignore. The Old Guard So we get to the oldest ships in my catalogue, the fact that they could stand the test of time is for a long time what shaped me as a shipper. I still ship these to this day so I ship them pretty hardcore Comics is probably the hardest place to ship something, because different writers will try different pairings at the drop of a hat. Even consistent pairings like Spiderman and Mary Jane, Batman and Catwoman, Beat Boy and Raven, Superman and Lois and more can end up being split in favour of Cindy Moon (I do love Silk), Wonder Woman and others. But I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve always loved Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon

I may’ve liked Teen Titans, but I was never on Team Starfire, it’s fine if you are but to me I have always been in with Dick and Babs. Not only do they have excellent banter but they gel well on and off of crime fighting, no matter how many times DC break them apart (like seriously, how many times do you have to try Bruce and Barbara until you realise that it creeps people out?) they always find each other again someway down the line, they are one of DC’s best couples and while they may never get a definitive ending because of the nature of comics, I still love that there’s a relationship of two strong individuals who can stand as equals and continue to keep their charm and wit after years of being together. When I was young, decades ago as it pains me to type, Digimon was the prime competitor against Pokémon’s tidal wave. Its anime had an awesome opening, more characters with some deeper themes and a quicker pacing. While many could quickly connect to Tai or Matt for their leaderlike attitude or Joe and Izzy for their intelligence or Mimi and Sora for their determination, I gravitated towards TK, a child who had room to grow and the greatest of potential, so when the Dark Masters came in we saw one of my oldest ships take form, Takari

TK and Kari’s pairing was popular that it managed to carry on into Adventure 02 and we got plenty of lovely moments in TRI (though they shorthanded both by having Ophanimon quickly fused and Seraphimon - one of the strongest Digimon - digivolve as backup in a Sora episode). 02′s epilogue is of course a sore spot we can hope Kizuna retcons because these two have been through thick and thin and their bond is clear. Even as they reach their late teens and TK has become master of hats and joined Matt’s band, they still hang out, banter and tease but they still are comfortable to hold each other’s hand and be vulnerable with one another too. Digimon may’ve been a contender, but Pokémon was still the clear winner, even to this day it is one of the most popular franchises in the world. The anime may be an up and down slope (current series seems a tad boring, 10 episodes before Ash caught a Pokémon, plus I don’t like that Ash won in Alola and now thinks he doesn’t have to try) but you can never take away the nostalgia, or the ships. I’ve shipped many in Pokémon in various media; Mallow x Lillie and Jessie x James in the anime, Ruby x Sapphire in the Manga, Looker x Anabel in the games (with Emma being their adoptive daughter dammit Looker you could’ve taken her with) among others and from Pokémon comes the oldest ship I’ve ever shipped, Pokéshipping

Before I even knew what Shipping was I shipped this, Misty may also be mostly the reason for my attraction to redheads but that’s neither here nor there. People may not like it, may prefer some of the softer spoken female (or male) companions Ash has had or feel they’ve grown out of it, but not me. I loved Misty’s feistiness and determination but also the fact that she could reign Ash in (sometimes) to make him think things through, as much as Misty was a companion to Ash she was a rival, a teacher and a supporter of his goal, but she also had her own goals which she fought for as well. They may bicker but they have also had tender moments as well and even with Misty’s return in the excellent Sun and Moon episodes they had their chemistry is palpable. To me, Ash and Misty were kindred spirits and the feeling has never changed since. So with another year of Valentine’s Day going the way it usually does, I’d like a moment to thank these ships, and all my other ships I didn’t have the space to mention, for being something that brings out happiness and a soft joy deep within my being, and for all the fanartists and fanfic writers that bring that love to life Happy Valentine’s Day

[whirlybirdwhat]

LETS TALK ABOUT ZORO. Again. 

More specifically this time, his ‘loner’ type. This particular post was inspired by the filler episode where Zoro gets unwillingly adopted into the family at Water 7. You know the one.

Anyway, family plays a big part in One Piece, whether it is the absence of one, the loss/gain of one, or the treatment of one, its there.

Luffy has his brothers, Nami has her village, Nojiko and Bell-mere in particular, Usopp has his father to aspire towards and no mother, Sanji has Zeff (And the abuse by the V*nsmokes...) Chopper has the two doctors and the rejection by his herd, Robin lost Ohara, Franky has Tom, Icebarg, and the Franky Family, and Brook has his former crew Laboon (And Who Else Oda what has this man done where has he come from).

All of these people feature heavily in flashbacks, arcs and more.

In comparison... Zoro appears to only have his sensei, Koushirou, who, in canon, is very sexist, traditional, and absent of many emotions. And, to my knowledge, he only features heavily in One episode very early on in the series.

Kuina’s dead. He met Johnny and Yosaku later on, after he had set off, and as much as I like the Goth Family (Mihawk, Zoro, Perona) they came far later. Zoro has never even been shown to have any friends in the dojo.

Zoro has always been alone. He came into the dojo alone, dressed in rags and eating straw, and left alone, lost and with a goal.

Its very odd in comparison with the rest of the Straw Hats, who always seemed to come from backgrounds with a lot of companionship. Zoro never even seems to be at odds with it, even though knowledge of how people work (in regards to him being first mate and helping the crew go through emotional distress) technically shouldn't be in his nature, because he has not experience with it.

This is extremely interesting to look at in terms of his character development... and Luffy. 

At first - Zoro only cared about himself, his next meal, and his goal, as evidenced by 1) the Shells Town Arc and 2) the episode of how Johnny, Yosaku, and Zoro met. 

By the time of the Time Skip he is 1) willing to throw away his entire future for Luffy (Thriller Bark) 2) Throw away his pride as a swordsman for Luffy (Training with Mihawk) 3) Get irrationally angry to the point of summoning extra limbs and an entire demon (Enies Lobby, Battle with Kaku) 4) Be extremely tactile with the Strawhats (.... have you seen the Straw hats) and lastly, 5) Do anything and everything he can to protect what’s his captain’s and the safety of the crew (Usopp situation.)

Zoro has come a long way from the ‘loner’ type he started out to be.

What brought this change? I’d say Luffy, (With Johnny and Yosaku helping him open up to the process of hey, people aren’t so bad, of course.)

Zoro would fight for any member of the crew. He would live for them. But the only person I’d say that he die for, give up his dream for, like he has in canon is Luffy. 

Luffy, who saved him from execution.

Luffy, who gave him a family that wasn’t a cold sensei with a dead daughter.

Luffy, whose dream he values more than his own.

My favorite thing about all of this is that Zoro appears not to have changed. He still seems to be a loner, always sleeping instead of joining the crew’s fun, typically fighting his battles on his own, etc. etc. Even opponents sometimes comment upon this! The consensus in the OP world seems to be that Zoro’s a big grouchy swordsman who doesn’t like people and will kill you if you look at. him wrong.

Even too the viewers we don’t see how far he’s come.

But he has! His life now is in total opposition to his life before. His character has developed so much, and I want to see it develop more.

Which brings me to my next point.

Wano.

You have all seen the theories. I agree with them - this is going to be Zoro’s past arc, because 1) similarities between Zoro and Wano and 2) Zoro has had one episode about his past. One. One canon one.  To develop his character further away from the basis ‘loner’ type, something needs to happen. And 3) We haven’t had a character with this kind of ‘I don’t know what my past is’ storyline and it would be cool to see play out.

I think this is it.

In One Piece: Strong World, Zoro states while fighting the clown scientist that He was born and raised in the East Blue. Now if this was any other movie I’d take that with a grain of salt... but Oda wrote this movie himself. So. Moving on.

Zoro believes he was born in the East Blue.

I think (jokes about him getting lost from his parents and winding up in the East Blue aside) that he doesn’t know his parents. That its going to be a big reveal, his family may be dead, whatever. I don’t particularly care who his family is, only what his reaction will be.

I can see it going two ways, both of which would have never happened without his character development.

1) He doesn’t give a shit in typical Zoro fashion, but this time because he has his crew, and the past doesn’t matter on the Thousand Sunny.

or..

2) He does care. He wants to learn more of his family, because he has learned to value other people he cares about, and not just about himself .

tl;dr Zoro was a loner (due to his upbringing by Koushirou) in the beginning of the series, and while he may still appear to follow that line of character, he is not as his character has developed to be more open and accepting to other people, specifically his friends and crew. That is, in part, thanks to Luffy introducing him to the Straw Hat Pirate crew and his growing understanding of how people work. This will effect how his probably family/past arc in Wano plays out, though I am betting that he doesn't particularly care nor know who his parents are, and is completely content with just having the Straw Hat Pirates as a crew.

Thoughts

[mamichigo]

It took me forever, but I finally wrote @mlightatsukiko prompt: “What if Dazai and Oda meet Atsushi years ago [pre-canon]”. Here it is, in all its glory. AO3 link! 

Ps: to everyone else who made a request, don’t worry, I’m working on them, just be patient!

N/A: Due to the characters’ age in this (11, 15 and 20) please don’t tag this as ship.

clear skies (words: 3.2K)

It was at time like these, when Dazai was babbling on about his latest inventive way to take his own life (it was truly amazing how fast you get used to such a morbid subject after being around him for awhile) that Oda realized Dazai was still a kid, at least in age — his mind was another subject entirely.

“Hey, Odasaku, are you listening? I can't take this anymore, seriously,” he whined, letting a loud sneeze just as he finished his sentence. Dazai gestured to his runny nose. “Isn't this horrible, this is a fate worse than death, I'm telling you.”

Oda, who had seen Dazai wipe his nose on his nice looking suit jacket too many times in the past week, reached into his pocket to find his handkerchief, offering it to Dazai. The neat square is snatched from his hand, the obnoxiously loud sound of Dazai blowing his nose into it following the action. Dazai rubbed a hand against his one visible eye, which was looking puffy by now, and exhaled a sigh.

“This really is the worst, I hate spring. I'd give anything to have a rope right now…” He complained, passing the handkerchief back to its owner.

Oda raised his eyebrows at the dirty object and, pushing his hand against Dazai’s, refused to take it.

“Keep it.” Dazai shrugged at this, but accepted without a fight. “Maybe you should just invest on tissues.”

“But it's a trouble to carry them with me, am I supposed to keep a tissue box under my arm at all times?” Dazai slumped his shoulders, feet dragging on the ground. “Ah, I can feel my energy seeping out of me, this is bad…”

“If it's that bad, why don't you take a day off?”

“Hah?” Dazai drawled out, staring off into space. Then, he slowly turned out to Oda, a wide grin on his face. “Odasaku, you're a genius!”

“Oh yeah?”

Dazai nodded emphatically, starting on a rant about the possibilities this opens to him, all of which are about skipping work in some way or another. Oda has a feeling that Mori wouldn't be too happy if he knew Oda found Dazai a convenient excuse to disappear for who knows how long, but well, Dazai already does that anyways, and Mori seemed to have given up on trying to keep Dazai under control. It should be fine.

It was a good thing that Dazai didn't require a lot of response to keep talking, as Oda paid close attention to his words and nodded to show he was listening. That was enough for Dazai to switch from one conversation to another, all while making wide arcs with his hands, gesticulating just as enthusiastically as he talked.

It was hard to believe this was the same kid who was so utterly uninterested in life. Just one more paradox that piled up in the misshapen silhouette that was Dazai Osamu.

“Okay, but, don't you think I actually need medicine or something? Ahh, my eyes are so itchy.” He proceeded to furiously rub them with the back of his hand, going as far as sticking a finger under his bandages to scratch at the eye hidden under them. “It's getting swollen, I can feel it.”

“That's because they are.”

“I'm seriously going blind at this rate.” Dazai sighed, but didn't take his hands away from his eyes.

“Hey, pay attention to where you're going.” Oda took hold of one of his wrists and pulled it away, where it couldn’t do more damage to Dazai’s own face. “You're gonna end up bumping into — ”

Oda doesn't get the time to properly finish his sentence, as fate decided it would do the irony of bringing his warning to life. First Dazai collides with someone, second he loses his balance and flails around in a desperate attempt to regain his footing.

Then he's tumbling forward to the sound of a squeak and a string of apologies, Oda managing to step back just in time to save himself from the accident.

Oda glances down at the heap of limbs scattered on the floor; a young looking kid attempts to push himself off the ground, wincing at what Oda can guess is a blooming bruise.

“You okay?” Oda asks, and the kid snaps to attention, looking up at him with unusual heterochromatic eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dazai is the one to reply, massaging his red cheek as he gets up.

“That's good to know, though I didn't mean you.”

“So heartless, Odasaku! Don't you care about my wellbeing?”

Oda shrugged, glancing at the kid, who was snapping his eyes between the two of them as they talked.

“At the moment, I'm more worried about him.” He nodded his head to the kid.

“He's probably fine! I mean, his bony elbows tried to stab me in the stomach, so I'd say he's doing better than me,” Dazai said, almost accusatory, narrowing his eyes at the mentioned “bony elbows”.

The kid was pretty skinny, now that he mentioned.

“I — I’m sorry, I didn't mean to, it's my fault for not paying attention.” The kid's eyes widened, appearing horrified at his own words. His upper body lowered in a deep bow. “I'm really sorry!”

Dazai snickered beside him, getting a frown from Oda.

“It's fine, it's fine, no need to be so formal! Truth is, I can't see a lot right now, you know.” He leaned uncomfortably closer to the kid, pointing at his swollen left eye. “See? Horrible, isn't?”

Oda put a hand on Dazai’s shoulder, who turned to give him an inquisitive look.

“You're scaring him.”

Dazai blinked, glancing back at the kid to see the fists he had clenched around the hem of his shirt, knuckles turning white.

“Oh.” Dazai stepped back, scratching the back of his head with some confusion.

Given Dazai’s line of work, he would be bet Dazai doesn't have a lot of contact with kids, so the reaction was to be expected.

“What's your name, kid?”

“Nakajima Atsushi,” Atsushi replied promptly, despite the nervous tone of his voice.

Oda, trying not to further scare him, crouched in front of Atsushi so they were at eye level. “Are you by yourself, Atsushi?”

The boy hesitated, but mumbled a quiet, “Yes.”

“Ooh, where are your parents?” Dazai asked.

“...Don't have them.”

“An orphan? Shouldn't you be at the orphanage, then?” Atsushi flinched and looked down, staring resolutely at the ground.

Dazai grinned and tilted his head. “Hey, Odasaku, I think we've got a runaway with us.” Atsushi squealed like he wanted to apologize again, but held himself back from doing so. “Bullseye!”

Oda sighed at Dazai’s show of lack of tact, but shrugged it off in favor of focusing on Atsushi.

“He isn't exactly wrong about you being in the orphanage. A kid like you shouldn't be walking around all by yourself. Shouldn't you be coming back by now?” Atsushi shook his head furiously, and he was just starting to tremble now. “You don't have any other place to go, right?”

Dazai hummed in agreement. “If you run away without a plan, you'll just end up dying for no reason, right?”

“Dazai.”

“What, it's true!”

“Even so.”

Oda put a comforting hand on Atsushi’s head, who flinched and stayed tense for long seconds, but relaxed into the touch once he realized Oda had no intention of hurting him.

“How about we help you get back, then? That should be fine, right, Dazai?”

Dazai opened his mouth to retort, but closed it right after. He pouted and crossed his arms. “When you say it like that, I guess so.”

“Then it's decided.”

“I don't want to be a bother,” Atsushi whispered quickly.

“Don't worry, I wouldn't be able to sleep well at night if I just left you like this, c’mon.”

Atsushi nodded in understanding, and Oda rewarded him with a gentle pat to the head.

“So, how did you get here anyways?” Dazai interjected. “You've been staring at everything like you're lost when you think we aren't looking, so I'm assuming you're not from around here.”

“I used the train.”

“Do you know the station you came from, at least?”

Atsushi nodded. For a kid who was trying to run away just a few minutes ago, he was surprisingly complacent in accepting the help — probably consequence of the fear of being in an unfamiliar city.

“Okay, we should be going, then.” Oda straightened up and gestured for Atsushi to follow him.

With some reluctance, Atsushi ran to his side, sticking close to him. Once they started walking, however, he looked frantically at the constant stream of people walking by them, and the cars zooming past on the street. It took him a moment, but Atsushi sneaked his hand into Oda, gripping him tightly.

“It's — It’s less dangerous like this, right?” He asked, despite the embarrassment painting his cheeks bright red. Oda squeezed his hand.

“Yes, of course.”

Dazai was smirking at the two of them. “Aren't you two cute?”

“You too, Dazai.”

“Huh?”

Atsushi stared at Dazai expectantly, and Dazai stared at Atsushi’s empty hand.

“Absolutely not.”

“It'd be bad if you get hit by a car!” Atsushi told him, more energetic than he had been before.

“We have different views on what bad means.”

“Bad means bad!”

“Great point, now I've been convinced!” Dazai teased.

Atsushi puffed out his cheeks and looked away, avoiding Dazai’s gaze. Dazai, for his part, laughed like this was a great victory to him. However, he was soon interrupted by a violent sneeze that startled Atsushi.

With the other two watching, Dazai sniffled and rubbed his nose against his sleeve, despite the handkerchief Oda had already given him before. Atsushi made a noise of disgust, and Dazai glared at him.

“What, are you disgusted by my snot, Atsu shi ?” He emphasized the last syllable, voice in a sing-song.

“Not particularly.”

“Not particularly, he says, Odasaku. Come here, Atsushi, give me your hand.”

Atsushi, blindsided by the sudden topic change, reached his hand out. When Dazai clasped it, however, smirking with a sinister expression, Atsushi tried to pull away, but Dazai wouldn't let him.

“Don't be scared now, Atsushi.” He inched Atsushi’s fingers closer to his face while the boy struggled against him. “It's just some snot!”

That said, Dazai rubbed Atsushi’s palm against his stuffy nose, blowing into it — though he didn't so it as strongly as he had done with the handkerchief earlier, which was an odd but considerate gesture on his part.

Atsushi squealed, split between outraged cries and hysterical laugh, his voice going an octave higher as he begged Dazai to stop.

When Dazai had finally decided he had done enough, he let Atsushi go and laughed at the boy’s horrified face as he stared at his palm — which was actually clean, as it turns out.

“Don't tease him too much, Dazai,” Oda spoke over the commotion.

“How can I not when Atsushi looks like he's thinking about all the bacteria living on the palm of his hand.”

That was an accurate description, given Atsushi’s horrified face. Oda was sure, however, that Atsushi had wiped his hand on Dazai’s sleeve once he got over his shock.

Turns out that, when not busy being disgusted at Dazai’s questionable hygiene, Atsushi was a pretty quiet kid, content with observing passersby and glancing curiously into the shop windows. He seemed happy to be in his own little bubble, so Oda didn't disturb him.

(Dazai did the same, though in his own away: walking ahead of them, whistling to himself or singing under his breath, only stopping to sometimes complain that they walked too slow.)

In spite of their allegedly slow pace, the small group got to the train station soon enough. Atsushi looked conflicted about going forward, lagging behind Oda for just a split second.

Oda stops and looks down at Atsushi, who returns it with some confusion. After some awkward silence, Oda glances at something from the corner of his eyes, then back to Atsushi.

“What's taking you guys so looong?” Dazai yells from where he was looking at one of the maps, likely attempting to figure out where Atsushi came from.

“Dazai, you two buy the tickets, I'll be over in a second.”

“Okay!”

Oda lets go of Atsushi’s hand and nudges him forward. “I'll be right back.”

Atsushi nods and obeys, though he looks over his shoulder the entire time as he makes his way to Dazai, as if reassuring himself that Oda is still there.

True to his words, Oda walks over to the stand he had seen and makes quick work of buying what he wanted, walking back to the duo inside the train station.

The both of them were leaning on the wall; Dazai, who didn't bother hiding his mischievous smile, was probably making efforts to annoy Atsushi, while the small kid stared at him with exasperation.

Just as Oda approached, the two straightened up and put on innocent faces, Dazai waving in greeting.

“Welcome back, Odasaku.”

Oda nodded, not bothering with finding out what the two of them had been up to in his absence. Once inside and waiting on the platform, Dazai peered down at the plastic bag in Oda’s hand.

“Did you buy something? What is it?”

Atsushi was more discreet than Dazai, but he was also watching Oda with curiosity.

“I got this for you,” he said, passing Atsushi one of the treats inside the bag. “I thought you might be hungry, this is the best I could do. I hope you like the flavor.”

Atsushi tore into the package covering his strawberry popsicle and happily shoved it into his mouth. Dazai cringed when he bit into it.

“Thank you so much, it's delicious!” Atsushi was beaming at him, though not for long, becoming preoccupied once again with the food.

“So you stopped to get the kid a popsicle, huh,” Dazai commented. “As expected of you, Odasaku.”

“I got you one too.” Oda handed him the second popsicle, to Dazai’s bewilderment.

He unwrapped it slowly, almost gingerly, staring at the milky white of his popsicle.

“...Vanilla?”

“I didn't know if you like sweets, it was the safest option.”

“It's a boring flavor.” Dazai giggled, eating his treat with small licks, way tamer than Atsushi, who now had a pink spot on his cheek.

“Is that so? I'll keep that in mind next time, then.”

Dazai smiled, a small thing that for once reached his eyes, but if he had anything to say, it was interrupted by Atsushi tugging at Dazai’s coat.

“Hm? What is it, midget?”

“...Can I have a bite of yours too?” Atsushi asked, fidgeting as he did.

“You're so greedy, Atsushi, don't you have yours already?”

“But yours looks good too, so I thought — !”

“No way, this is mine!” Dazai huffed and held his popsicle above his head, way out of Atsushi’s reach.

“You can have some of mine too!” Atsushi insisted, staring at Dazai’s hand longingly.

Dazai hummed, a hand on his chin as he considered the offer.

“Okay, that's acceptable! Let's trade!”

The two nodded solemnly, more serious than the situation warranted. They each took a bite — Dazai with more pain than Atsushi — and, spurred on by Dazai, they shook hands at the end of it.

Atsushi looked happy with the occurrence; Oda smiled at him.

“Ah! That's right!” He exclaimed out of the blue. “Do you want some too?” Atsushi offered him the almost finished popsicle.

“No, you can have it.”

As if he had just been waiting for the permission, Atsushi ate the last piace in one go, seemingly swallowing it without even chewing.

“He's like a little beast,” Dazai whispered to him.

“Don't tease him too much,” he tells him again.

“But it's fun!”

Dazai laughed, the sound getting drawn out by the arriving train. Atsushi stepped closer to Oda at the noise and sudden burst of wind that came with it.

“Well, this would be our ride!”

Atsushi slumped, gaze glued to the ground, and Oda had to put a hand on his shoulder for Atsushi to follow them into the train.

Dazai sat on the first empty seat he saw and patted the one beside him in invitation for Atsushi. Oda opted for standing facing the duo: it was easier to keep an eye on them like this.

Atsushi appeared down compared to before, uninterested in his surroundings and avoiding looking at anyone. He was absentmindedly playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

“Dazai, what's that building?” Oda spoke up, pointing to the window and promptly getting the attention of both Dazai and Atsushi.

“What? Don't you know already?”

Oda didn't reply, instead glancing at the curious Atsushi, who was now looking from Dazai to the building in question. Dazai crossed his arms and sighed.

“Fine, understood, understood! You better pay attention, okay?” Atsushi nodded, as did Oda.

Under the boy's watchful gaze, Dazai pointed to the building Oda had mentioned and explained what it was, along with random trivia Dazai knew about the place. Atsushi, twisting in his seat to look at it, had his face almost entirely pressed against the window.

One building turned into another, then another, then Dazai was giving Atsushi a lesson in the entirety of Yokohama. He pointed at streets and buildings and the small looking people, and Atsushi followed his finger as if enchanted.

Oda rarely interjected, but Dazai had given him a knowing look at one point.

After long minutes of this, Atsushi complained that his neck was hurting, so he straightened in his seat, content in just watching the scenery go by.

Oda considered it a mission accomplished when Atsushi didn't seem to go back to his bad mood.

Dazai interrupted his reverie, exclaiming, “Ah, we forgot to introduce ourselves, Odasaku!” Dazai realized with shock. Now that he mentioned, they didn't tell Atsushi their names, after all. “We should fix that right now!”

Dazai put a hand to his chest, posing proudly. “I'm Osamu Dazai, the great man who saved you. And that's Oda Sakunosuke. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Dazai spoke with great self assuredness in his voice, and Oda let him do it. Before he could go on about himself, however, Atsushi’s head hit his shoulder. Dazai looked at the child now sleeping against him and clicked his tongue.

“I can't believe this, he slept right when I got to the best part.”

Dazai didn't move accommodate or comfort Atsushi, but he didn't push him away either.

“So, you think he'll be okay? Our little Atsushi here, I mean.” Dazai said, low and careful.

Dazai surely had noticed the little warning signs Atsushi’s behavior had been giving them, probably in more details than Oda would be able to take note of.

“I don't know. This is the most we can do for him, it'll have to be enough.”

Oda leaned down to rub a pink smudge on Atsushi’s cheek clean; the boy stirred, but didn't wake up. Dazai hummed.

“You're really good with kids, Odasaku. Like an actual father.”

“You're not so bad with them yourself.” Oda looked at Dazai, who turned his eyes away.

“Yeah, right.” Dazai watched Atsushi sleep and, after a beat, chuckled. “Next time, you be the one to save me. Okay, Atsushi?”

[anonymouscrocodilefan]

Addendum: Ex-Slave Croco Theory

LONG TIME NO POST, and not quite a shower thought, but it occurred to me at one point that I never actually debunked the other common theory about Croco’s secret (the one Ivankov has on him).

The major theories I’m aware of (all of which I find flawed):

1. FTM Croco (Croco was a woman & other gender/sexuality-related variations). This is the immediate conclusion most people jump to, and I’m pretty sure it’s a red herring. Although, as I’ve mentioned, I wouldn’t mind if it were true. I pretty thoroughly debunked this in one of my first posts: http://anonymouscrocodilefan.tumblr.com/post/132946232157/2-crocodiles-past

2. Croco was on Whitebeard’s crew (in some variations the chopped off hand was to remove WB’s tattoo). And is for some reason ashamed of that and/or left for reasons related to his weakness. This has been completely debunked by Word of God. See my very first post: http://anonymouscrocodilefan.tumblr.com/post/132880323933/1-crocodile-the-warlord

3. Croco’s missing hand originally had a different power from the “drying” ability of his right; the secret behind this removed power is related to his other weakness. I don’t think this theory is as widespread as the others, nor am I particularly against it. But I don’t really buy it either. Plus I think with the advent of “awakened” powers as a concept, this idea is getting less and less likely. I’ve only ever tangentially discussed this though (never directly addressed the specifics of this theory): http://anonymouscrocodilefan.tumblr.com/post/135195626561/shower-thought-handedness

4. An actual physical/power-related weakness (aside from the water weakness and the obvious existence of haki). Discussed this in the same post as FTM Croc. This one seems to make sense in context, but is narratively unsatisfying to me. I can kinda imagine it though – if water is a weakness, I wonder about wind (water clumps sand, but wind does the opposite)? Still, Oda could’ve easily done the same scene with something along the lines of “no worries, I know how to defeat him” – so the specific and somewhat ambiguous use of the word “weakness” and Iva promising not to give him away if he behaves is... interesting.

5. Croco is a former slave (like Hancock and Fisher Tiger). I can’t believe I never discussed or even brought up this theory... because it’s actually one of the earliest ideas I personally considered (along with “Croco has revolutionary connections [beyond the acquaintance with Iva]”, which I’ve long since discarded).

Like the “revolutionary” theory, I discarded it very early on (and didn’t see it discussed nearly as often), which is probably why it slipped my mind.

Also, my arguments against this particular theory are mostly circumstantial, like my arguments against the missing hand/physical weakness theories (but unlike the FTM/WB theories, which have fairly solid textual evidence working against them and in the latter case has been explicitly contradicted by Oda’s statements).

Still, it’s probably worth discussing. So here are my thoughts.

First of all, it’s a tempting theory on the surface. Unlike the FTM and WB theories, it also gives him a valid motivation for his dislike of the government (and apparent desire to create a Utopia [we are soooo short on details there, including how seriously he meant it]). It would also fairly neatly explain his trust issues, although maybe not why he’s so adamant at first about human connections being worthless (the WB theory probably does the best on that one, but like I said, it’s total bunk).

Nonetheless, it doesn’t really “feel” right, either.

As I’ve previously noted (see the post with FTM Croco), Crocodile’s reaction to Iva’s threat is actually relatively subdued despite the way the whole thing’s been blown up in the collective fandom consciousness. Sure, it pisses him off, but he’s not upset or anything either. We have several known ex-slave characters whose behavior can be easily contrasted with his, in fact. Fisher Tiger’s undying hatred. Hancock’s deep shame. Koala is the most well-adjusted one we’ve seen so far, but I think that’s probably down to the fact that she was still very young at the time (much younger than Hancock!) and has since grown up in a very supportive environment. For all three though, there is that underlying sense of having been betrayed by the government and its support of an inherently unjust system, and moreover by humanity itself. On the other hand, Croco’s scorn for the Marines and the government overall seems more akin to Law’s feelings on the subject, i.e. they’re useless assholes. In other words, yes he has trust issues, but he never comes across as traumatized. (Law maybe isn’t the BEST comparison there.)

The timing is tricky. Surprisingly, we know a handful of solid dates for Croco, despite the fact that he’s never gotten a backstory flashback. All of which I’ve discussed before, but again – he was at age 22 present for Roger’s execution. He became a Warlord shortly thereafter, with his defeat by Whitebeard presumably marking his first real setback as a pirate. Around age 30 he was featuring in newspapers for his “heroic” acts. By the time the series starts, he’s been a public figure for 20 years or so. Basically, he could’ve only been a slave during his child/teen years... and couldn’t have been part of the big breakout all the other known ex-slaves escaped during. That is, he would’ve had to escape on his own, or I suppose potentially with Revolutionary aid (which maybe accounts for the eventual Iva meeting when he’s a rookie). The former seems unlikely, no matter how clever the dude is. But the latter would have more naturally led to him being involved in the Revolutionary faction sooner or later rather than setting sail to compete with Roger and Whitebeard and coming up with his own grandiose schemes.

I talk about this all the time, but if we can trust his SBS child illustration – and I think we can, based on past experience – he was already toting around a real gun as a kid. And in fact it seems like he was probably already fairly skilled in its usage (mentioned this in the handedness post, but I have a feeling that his gun is holstered in a cavalry draw position rather than the more typical cross draw). His expression and stance also already lack that veneer of innocence that many (not all) of the child illustrations tend to have. From that (among other things), I’ve always gotten the sense that he was a street kid who pretty much raised himself/grew up in the underworld... and would have been far too careful and shrewd to have been captured by anyone.

If his missing hand was the one with the tattoo (kinda has to be, since he had to get undressed for the Impel Down “baptism”)... well, Croco’s much too pragmatic to have chopped it off just because of a tattoo. Especially when there are more obvious ways of subverting or hiding the symbol (see also: Sun Pirates). No matter how well he’s adapted to the lack of it, he is NOT the kind of man who would have willingly given up the practical benefits of having two working hands, imo. Even to escape (he’s no Zoro lol).

I dunno, even if all the above points can technically be written around, it feels kind of redundant to have another ex-slave Warlord in the mix. Sometimes redundancy is good, and adds thematic texture due to the different nuances. But I think we’re already pretty well covered.

(The remaining variations on this theory that I actually think are kind of viable but require way too much guesswork: he betrayed his allies into slavery [after being betrayed by them first, I’m thinking], OR he attempted to pull a rescue but failed [again, perhaps due to treachery] and chose to abandon them/save his own skin. These not only fit what we know about his personality, but also provide a decent explanation for why Iva specifically would be involved/aware, and suit the context of the exchange during Impel Down. Like I said though, way too much guesswork, especially re: what exactly in this scenario would serve as a hold over him.)

As for what I personally think the actual secret is, if not those two above options – my thoughts haven’t really changed that much since I originally wrote the FTM debunk post. In my view the three main options are 1) the backstory behind him obtaining his fruit; 2) whatever backstory there might be regarding his hook/scar (assuming they’re not just design elements like Doffy’s sunglasses LOL); and 3) the backstory behind his knowledge of Pluton and the poneglyphs (plus I assume he’s one of the few who knows the truth behind Ohara). Possibly those options might even be related to each other.

The only somewhat new addition to my thoughts: since Oda’s made the parallels between Croco and Luffy* even more explicit than before, I suspect Croco had a similar experience as Luffy/Sabo/Ace did in the Gray Terminal. (Remember that I think Croco was a street kid.) Only his reaction was something more along the lines of Sabo’s, if Sabo hadn’t gotten proper guidance in form of Dragon and had turned pirate instead.

(… I can’t be the only one who can imagine alternate universe Sabo going the evil mastermind route, can I?)

* The Croco/Luffy parallels are key to the Alabasta arc, and Oda then brought them up again with the SBS about Croco’s pirating history. And as I’ve argued in my MBTI posts before, their personalities are mirrors of each other (rather than “in opposition”).

But I’ve also seen people point out that there’s an interesting parallel to be found between Croco and Ace as well. (Both talented and ambitious young Logias who challenged WB early on in their pirating careers; one submitted, one picked himself back up to attempt his own path.)

Which I think makes it not unreasonable to eventually see an echo of Sabo in Croco as well. (Although I have previously thought the more explicit Sabo foil was Doflamingo, hence him turning up specifically during Dressrosa.)

I mean no matter what, the weirdly romantic vibe of Baroque Works and the idealism implied in “Operation Utopia” have been cracking me up for ages. And that’s gotta have its roots in something, right? Odd to think about, but we actually know way more of what makes Doflamingo “tick,” what his driving motivations are. We never got a true explanation for Croco. Just like Big Mom’s yearning for family and belonging is a corrupted version of Whitebeard’s family ethos (and note apparently SHE wants to construct a “utopia” of sorts as well), Croco’s stubborn opposition to the government strikes me as a corrupted version of the Revolutionary stance. That’s like the one thing we’ve known about him all along, the one reason we know he was after Pluton – and Marineford only further supported this. I mean yeah, no pirate actually LIKES the government for obvious reasons, but Croco’s disdain has been consistently highlighted in particular.

I’m convinced it means something.

[oh-my-otome]

hi, love! have you read the epilogues for the current slbp event? ^^ do you recommend any of them? :)

Hello, Precious! I’m on mobile, so I can’t add screenies– is that okay?

To make up for it, I’ll give a summary of the epilogues!

I bought 5 of the 6 epilogues. The only one that I haven’t bought yet is Kojuro’s, but then Voltage put out the pov special, so I’m not sure if I’ll buy his as a regular epilogue or get the package.

That new hairstyle is looking at me! I really want it!

But I also want to keep my pearls…but the hairstyle is so cute…but MY PEARLS…

The first epilogue that I recommend is Masamune’s.

What I liked about Masamune’s was that the relationship with his mother is improving.

It’s realistic and believable, with both Masamune and Yoshihime making mistakes as they go, but learning from them, as they go about this process of reconnecting. Now, that’s part of his actual event story, but his epilogue picks up from there, with him telling you that he’s spoken to both his brother and mother, which is good.

When the two of you talk about the temperaments of your future children, it’s a very cute moment. On one hand, he’s worried about his clan, and on the other, he knows that any child of yours will be fine because they’ll have the best traits of both of you.

You reassure and comfort him, and are rewarded with Beast Mode Masamune, which is always a treat to read. You wake up to a sleeping Masa-chan, who stops you from leaving the bed and snuggles up next to you, telling you there’s no need to rush.

Then he rolls on top of you! Half-naked! Get it, Masa-chan!

Later, you find him crafting a rattle in anticipation for whatever child you may have.

Overall, it’s a very warm and fluffy epilogue with a little bit of smut to earn its pearls.

Yukimura’s epilogue starts with Man Bun-san inviting you to drink with him. I know it’s usually Inuchiyo that you have to watch out for around sake, before he swears it off, but I do t know if I trust any Sanada man around liquor anymore.

Masayuki tells you about his wife again, but he also talks about how Yukkin “chases after the shadow of his mother,” even though he knows he wasn’t the cause of her death.

For some reason, you think that Yukimura must think that you resemble his mother. Maybe I’m forgetting something, but I don’t think that you look like her? And if you do, that’s just creepy. I’d really rather not have that be a reason why Yukimura fell in love with you.

When you finish drinking, Masayuki tasks you with reminding Yukkin for the millionth time that he had nothing to do with his mother’s death.

Why the writers gave him this very specific persecution complex is beyond me, since they have everyone outright confirm that it’s all in his head.

When you go back to your room, Yukimura asks to make love to you, in his classic halting way. You start to get into it, but you pass out drunk before he can do anything.

You even call yourself “a pathetic drunkard.”

Yukimura offers to do the laundry for you, the next day, telling you to rest, instead.

On your way back from town, you meet up with Saizō and Yukimura, carrying backs filled with baby toys.

Yukkin thinks you’re pregnant because you’ve been making lots of foods with pickled plums, and certified OB GYN Saizō wrote that pregnant women crave sour food. Yukimura thinks he knows your body better than you do, and comes off a little condescendingly when he continues to tell you that you must not have noticed the signs, as if every pregnancy for all women– or even the same woman – is uniform.

I didn’t like that part, or how he insisted on doing everything for you because he didn’t want you to somehow hurt yourself. Pregnancy is not a disease.

At first, I thought he was just being sweet, but when he explains it, I thought to my self ‘oh, come on!’ Especially after he says that he won’t touch you until the baby is born.

But maybe it’s better that Yukkin doesn’t know the wonders of pregnancy sex?

At the end of the epilogue, we circle back around to the beginning of his exhausting complex about him being the “cause” of his mother’s death.

But! The writers make up for it by having you be the one to make a move on Yukimura, putting all of the smut in the last half of the epilogue.

Next spring, you go on a picnic for three…so either you have shortest luteal phase known to womankind, or the writers have never tried to chart a cycle.

This epilogue was okay. I bought it for free, so I can’t complain much.

I didn’t find it particularly funny or heart-warming, but I’ve never liked the eternally-clueless-but-well-meaning-man trope to begin with, and it seems like that’s about all the writers are willing to do with Yukimura when he’s not in battle or wallowing in synthetic guilt.

Nobunaga’s epilogue starts with you using your super power of happening upon hushed conversations specifically when your name is mentioned.

Nobu wants to bring you with him to, when meeting other lords, so that you can expand your horizons, saying “if I was to suffer a trophy wife, I could have bought one long before now.”

I like that he wants you to better yourself. He says to Mitsuhide that he won’t let him “reduce” you to that fate.

You realize that you’ve been allowed to keep up your job around the castle because Nobunaga wants you to retain your independence.

A few days later, Nobu tells you that the reason he gave his retainers vacation first, was so that you two could have yours last. You ride for several days and arrive at a lavish inn adjacent to an onsen.

The inn keeper and his wife gave just welcomed a child some days before, and are delighted to have both you and a Nobu hold him.

Nobunaga holds the baby wrong, so he starts to cry, and we learn that it is the first time that lord Nobunaga has ever held a baby, since all of his siblings have had wet nurses.

For some reason, this surprises you, and you make the leap of thinking that he’ll get better with holding babies…when the baby becomes old enough to play with.

Girl, it’s called a football/cradle hold. It takes a second and you can do it with one arm.

Nobunaga summons all the fluff and says: “All children are precious.”

There is a funny moment where you let your eyes rake over a booty-naked Nobunaga who’s walking around the onsen without a care in the world, and he wonders aloud why you’re so thirsty when you’ve climbed all over his goods before.

He starts to tease you under the water and you pass out from the heat. Dammit!

As you lay in bed, with Nobunaga tending to you with something to drink, you wonder how you will be his wife in public, when you can’t even manage to be his wife in private.

Nobunaga puts that nonsense to rest immediately, by saying that wherever you go with him, you are always there as his wife, so stop overthinking it.

He goes on to say that he wants to be with you whether you have a child or not.

Nobunaga makes up for lost time with his trademark asking you to scream for him and admonishing you when you turn away to hide your blushing face, as his starts with teasing you with his hand to making love of you, vowing that not even death can take you from him.

I liked this one, because Nobunaga is active in wanting to build up your self-esteem. He plans a trip so that you can ease your way into introducing yourself as the Lady Oda, while still protecting the things that matter to you.

There’s a little bit of comedy, a little bit of smut, but overall it’s about a man who thinks you’re amazing, and he wants to be a part of enhancing that, as a show of his love for you.

Next is Saizō’s. While you’re admiring the cherry blossoms, Saizō slides up to you and low-key promises to see the cherry blossoms with you again, the next year.

Later, you walk in on Sasuke asking where babies come from. Saizō immediately passes the question over to Yukimura, who says that it’s not something that he can talk about in the middle of the day.

Saizō tells Sasuke to come back in the middle of the night, then, and I almost dropped my mobile from laughing.

Yukimura tells Sasuke that he’s too young to know, which is debatable.

Side note: in some stories, Sasuke is said to be the same age as Yahiko, and in other stories, he’s said to be younger than Yahiko. Which is it? Is this like how the writers have said three different things about Masamune’s eye?

Anyway, in the end, no one tells Sasuke where babies come from.

Instead, Saizō asks you if you know where babies come from, one Yukimura and Sasuke leave. You figure that the best way to stop him from teasing you is to be blunt, which leads him to say that he has no intention of being anyone’s father.

Later on, you’re thinking back on what he said, and finding that the more he keeps saying it, the more it bothers you.

You go to his room at night, with the intention of being the one who makes love to him, rather than your usual dynamic.

As you two start to make love, the narration goes all over the place with you first thinking that you want to have his children and grow old beside him, to him telling you basically ‘lol nope,’ to him then immediately saying that it would be easier to get you pregnant, to you saying that all you need is Saizō, after all.

It’s like the writers forgot the premise of this epilogue: your feelings about being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want children, when you do.

It’s pretty much every Saizō epilogue you’ve already read before. Whether or not you have children with Saizō is a topic that’s already been covered, so there’s really nothing new or different here.

Get it if you want to, but it’s not particularly a must have.

Mitsuhide’s epilogue starts with him saying he like “about ten” children.

Ahahahahaha– adopt some cats, how dare you!

He goes on to say that “given how fascinating I find touching you, we may find ourselves with that many in no time,” and I can’t hate him for it, that was a cheesy line with a smooth delivery.

We can absolutely adopt ten kittens, Mitsuhide.

You fall for his sweet talk, thinking that you would like to have “lots and lots” of his children, saying that you want to make his wish come true.

That evening, he invited you to look at the sunset with him and says “Now that I have you by my side, I will not let you go until my last breath has left my lungs.”

I just can’t with his earnestness. I’d give him all the kittens he wants.

You notice that he’s been drinking all day since the wedding, though, so don’t establish the Akechi Cat Colony just yet.

Mitsuhide passes right tf out after apologizing for drinking because he was so happy to have married you.

I could have done without the scene of you not only trying to lift his unconscious form, but of you being afraid because he’s stopped moving.

You laugh as you watch him writhing about in bed, but admit that it’s probably only because you’ve never seen him like that before.

In his drunken stupor, he calls your name and tells you to have lots of babies with him.

He wakes, the next morning, with a bitchin’ hangover, but he’s more upset that he wasted the first night of being your husband by getting drunk, “whining,” and passing out.

When you tell him not to worry about it, and that every day that you’ve spent with him has been important, he yukadons you and tells you to treat him as a man in private, and not as a lord, as he wants there to be nothing stopping you from loving each other– not even ranks and titles.

You say that you’re not ready for that level of intimacy just yet, to which he says that he’ll kiss you if you don’t.

He kisses you again and again, saying that “everything feels a little easier to deal with through a haze of pleasure, wouldn’t you say?”

He makes love to you, calling out your name the whole time, except for at the end when he begs you to call his. You finally call him just plain Mitsuhide, like he wanted, as you come undone.

You blame it on being in the throes of passion, to which he says that you’ll get the hang of it by the time you have ten children.

Ignoring the drunken part, which wasn’t very long, I thought this was a nice epilogue that I would re-read again.

[blockheadbrands]

The Curious Case of the Cannabis Aphid

Chris Roberts of Leafly Reports:

At the time, the bugs crawling on Steve Bailey’s new cannabis plants didn’t seem particularly special. They weren’t even all that annoying.

It was early 2016, during the first few months of Oregon’s legal recreational marijuana market, and a Portland company was running a “grow the best clone” contest. Entrants each received cuttings of the same strain from the same source to see who could grow it best.

“Within a matter of months, you saw everybody having it.”

Steve Bailey, Bull Run Craft Cannabis

And the clones received by Bailey and his partners at Bull Run, a craft “farm-to-jar” cannabis brand with cultivation operations in Boring, Oregon, had bugs.

“We threw them out and that was that,” Bailey recalled. Or it was, for a while. Before long, friends and colleagues—many of whom had participated in the same clone contest—noticed similar bugs crawling on some of their crops. “Literally, within a matter of months, you saw everybody having it,” he said.

Like that, Oregon’s cannabis aphid outbreak had begun.

RELATED STORY Leafly’s Visual Quality Guide to Selecting Cannabis

A Bug’s Life

As anyone who grows marijuana (or has tried) knows, unwelcome visits from insects are an occupational hazard. Bailey, who grew up on a traditional farm in the Willamette Valley, identified them as a “normal lettuce aphid,” he said.

He wasn’t alone. Other cannabis farmers in the area initially mistook the unidentified bug as a green peach aphid, hop aphid, or other common pest, said Joshua Vlach, an entyomologist at the Oregon Department of Agriculture.

The real culprit, it turns out, was Phorodon cannabis—literally the “cannabis aphid”—a pale yellow creature first identified and catalogued by an Italian researcher in the 1860s. For whatever biological reason, the bug evolved to feed on only plants of the genus Cannabis sativa.

Bailey believes the clone contest helped the bugs proliferate through Oregon. As for how the insect made it to the clone contest, somebody—nobody knows who—probably did what they weren’t supposed to and brought clones or cuttings across state lines.

“Colorado saw it before we did, so I would say that I suspect it came from clones from another region,” Vlach said via email. “Having said that, it is possible it was here in low levels or misidentified from the start.”

Even after they were identified, the aphids continued to spread across the state. By the end of 2017, they’d become so pervasive that the Oregon Department of Agriculture issued a statewide pest warning advisory.

RELATED STORY How to Safely Introduce Clones Into Your Garden

High Stakes

Cannabis is a plant whose hardiness as a “weed” is often overestimated. Like any crop, cannabis plants are susceptible to a host of biological threats. A few years before Bailey confronted the insects crawling on his clones, growers in Oregon and Northern California grappled with a particularly virulent outbreak of hemp russet mites, bugs that routinely plague both indoor and outdoor cannabis crops.

“I can find it in every county in Colorado where I have looked, and I know of it being found in Oregon, Minnesota, Virginia, and Ontario.”

Whitney Cranshaw , entomologist, Colorado State University

So far, cannabis has yet to see a mortal peril on par with those that have periodically hammered other agricultural commodities, such as wheat, tulips, and wine. In the late 1800s, for example, the French wine industry was devastated by an outbreak of an insect of its own: phylloxera, the grape aphid, which was likely carried into the country on plant cuttings imported from America.

Even with modern industrial agriculture—and, some may argue, in part because of industrial agricultural practices such as massive monocultures in controlled environments, which attract pests but often not the predators that feed on them—phylloxera remains enough of a threat to influence grape-growers’ practices to this day. Which raises the question: What if the cannabis industry collides with a phylloxera of its own? And could a bug like the cannabis aphid qualify?

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A Smuggler’s Stowaway

Whitney Cranshaw is an entomologist at Colorado State University’s College of Agricultural Sciences. You could call him a bug guy. More accurately he is a pest guy—an expert in mites, beetles, and other insects that regularly plague farmers.

The first confirmed sighting of the cannabis aphid in North America was in 2016, he said, the same year as the Portland clone contest. Since then, the bug has spread rapidly—or at least reports of it have.

“Since then, I can find it in every county in Colorado where I have looked, and I know of it being found in Oregon, Minnesota, Virginia, and Ontario,” Cranshaw told Leafly. “I suspect the insect is very widespread in North America and has been moved about on cuttings and live plant material for quite a long time.”

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Before 2016, the only confirmed sightings of the bug were in Europe or Asia. It’s likely, experts say, the aphids came here on the same boat or plane that smuggled an African or Asian landrace cannabis strain to the American market.

“It possibly could have come here on eggs, but probably on a cutting someone smuggled in years ago,” Cranshaw said. “Somebody brought it here on a cutting.”

Critter Control

(Elysse Feigenblatt/Leafly)

The growers at Hi-Fi Farms, a large cultivator near Portland, first heard about the cannabis aphid through the ODA alert. The insect has yet to make an appearance there, according to Haley Poole, Hi-Fi’s head of compliance and quality-control, which she said is a very good thing.

“There’s not a lot of research around cannabis and pest management,” she explained, making it difficult to know how to control the critters. “And there’s no pest-management practice that’s working on [the aphids] aside from pyrethrins.”

But the allowable level of pyrethrins on state-legal cannabis is so low, Poole said, “if we did use it, we’d have to throw out the crop.”

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The fact cannabis remains federally illegal makes the response that much more complicated. “If we ran into this problem and we wanted to send a plant to [the state Department of Agriculture] to get tested,” she said, “we couldn’t send the plant,” because the US Postal Service still deems cannabis products “non-mailable.”

So Hi-Fi has leaned heavily on prevention, such as making sure workers’ clothes are clean before entering grow areas and checking incoming soil and clones for contamination. Bailey at Bull Run reacted similarly. He saw the bugs early and the plants were pitched in the trash, he said, early enough for them to not contaminate the whole operation.

From a market perspective, if the aphid were to spread all over the state and devastate the state’s cannabis crop, many growers may secretly count it as a blessing.

So much cannabis has flooded Oregon’s market that prices have dropped by 50% since 2015, according to a recent state analysis. A plague like the cannabis aphid could in theory take care of the oversupply problem. More likely, however, an infestation is more likely to turn a good crop into a mediocre one and render a borderline crop unsaleable.

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Luckily for most growers, then, the cannabis aphid doesn’t appear to be that kind of biblical pest. For a parasite, the bug is relatively well-behaved. It’s less aggressive or deadly than other pests, such as the root aphid or russet mite, and since it needs the plant for food, it’s less likely to kill off a crop.

“If you let it get out of control,” said Bailey at Bull Run, “it’s really your own fault.”

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https://www.leafly.com/news/science-tech/the-curious-case-of-the-cannabis-aphid