#parents tag

[campy-mccampface]

you should tell us how you see the loons since you are their #1 fan...

BAHAHAHA YOU’RE SO RIGHTTT.

Dave: “Where will I do my synchronized swimming?!” *Ping Pong pats his back as he sobs* (“It��s No Picnic” Season 1 Episode 4B)

God, I love these nerds. Well, one thing’s for sure: I consider them separate characters. It’s not like The Lemmings in canon where they’re interchangeable. When I write their Bus Pass bios, they’ll each be getting their own. For now, though, I’ll do a little rundown of tidbits for each. I have much, much more in store for these beanpoles than what’s below. I’m a simple bird: I see secondary characters, and I project onto them and make them mine.

Dave Loon

—Canonically he’s the more sensitive of the two brothers. Headcanonically I make that difference even starker: Ping Pong is the kind of nerd you simply can’t win against, while Dave falls apart at the mildest pressure. Love that for him.

—In the show, we’ve seen he’s a grandma’s boy and I really really like that because I was too, haha. (She’s getting a blog tag. Nana Loon. I’m sure I’m not done with writing her.) That sort of implies he prefers her over his parents, but I wouldn’t say so. He loves his parents. (Also it’s. Hilarious how Ping Pong knew they came from eggs and Dave didn’t. I consider that another sign of his higher maturity.)

—Dave and Ping Pong are the only scouts who can fly, emphasis on ‘can.’ Dave haaaates flying, it makes him so nervous (but what doesn’t) and he only ever does it when Ping Pong’s flying with him. If not, he’s completely grounded.

—Dave has a huge crush on Lazlo, (who clearly feels in the same way in return, see the episode “The List,” which lives rent-free in my noggin,) and because it’s Dave he’s a huge mess about it. He blushes, he stammers, he shies away, usually hiding behind Ping Pong’s back, the latter of which is a reflex for him in most situations anyway. (Also, because this is a Joe Murray cartoon, in his worst moments Dave will at times spontaneously burst into flames, with no ill effects. No one considers it novel or dangerous. It’s just a thing that happens, like your shoe coming untied.) Ping Pong loves them together, and because he’s a big brother, gives Dave lots of friendly teasing about it.

—Dave’s the younger brother, hatching a few minutes later. Nonetheless, they’re called ‘Dave and Ping Pong’ collectively without variation, presumably to be in alphabetical order.

—Dave’s the more passionate of the two about journalism. That’s not to say Ping Pong doesn’t love it; he really does, but as they mature, Dave’s the one who retains his interest while Ping Pong pursues another avenue: music. But he especially liked it when it gave him something to play at with his little brother. (Dave would gasp at the insinuation this was all just ‘playing.’)

—In my wife💛 and I’s Future Au, which we call “Refried Beans,” Dave and Lazlo marry and set to living year-round in the attic of Scoutmaster Lumpus’ cabin. Dave works for the Prickly Pines newspaper, and Lazlo is now Scoutmaster’s Assistant, while Slinkman is now Scoutmaster. Lumpus is retired but still lives in the cabin too, and they’re all joined by Jane, and her presence is the only thing keeping Lumpus from going axe-murderer at the fact he’ll never, ever escape Lazlo.

Ping Pong

—As I’ve said, his real name in my headcanon is Bruce. This is hardly ever used. There’s a reason he became Ping Pong but I’ve yet to decide why.

—Ping Pong is the more mature of the two canonically. Headcanonically he’s unstoppably stable and unflappable. You can’t bully him and get anywhere without him turning your namecalling back on yourself and more cleverly. You can’t beat him in a fight. You can only make him feel endangered after everyone else in the room feels endangered first. This first came about out of necessity to toughen up to defend Dave, and it then became further ingrained because Ping Pong’s the biggest smart alec in the Western Hemisphere and he gets a kick out of being able to sort you out while reading his book at the same time. He’s like if Yakko Warner had feathers and legit booksmarts on top. (What a powerful creature.)

—In the “Radio Free Edward” episode, we get a passing line that he intends to play classic rock for the camp’s radio station. I’ve decided to run with this and say classic rock’s his passion and true calling. He becomes a legit star in short order by his late twenties in my au and it just never goes away. If I had to describe his singing voice, (and you’d never expect him to have it, and I find that hilarious,) it’s like Bruce Springsteen, Angus Young, Rod Stewart, Rick Springfield and Freddie Mercury all had their vocal chords fused in a laboratory. It’s insane.

—I think it was “Beans are from Mars” where the show erroneously calls Dave, Ping Pong and Edward cabinmates? I’m gonna do a Bob Ross, call that a happy accident and say it was true… for like two weeks. But what a formative two weeks. Edward I guess had had enough of the Dungs and demanded new cabinmates. So he went with the Loons and because Samson’s unlucky, he went with the Dungs. (I think he and the Dungs get called cabinmates that episode too.) It was during those two weeks Edward decided he’s head over heels for Ping Pong, (but he won’t admit it, being Edward.) Ping Pong is completely wise to this, not that Edward knows, and really likes toying with him. And mercilessly snarking and outwitting him. Then he starts crushing too. (I like to think their little picnic with Dave in “Snake Eyes” was basically a first date.) Then of course they switch back to their usual cabinmates, but there’s been a sea change where they’re no longer just two guys who like talking smack to each other. And by the time of Refried Beans, (basically the present,) they’ve also gotten married. I’ll save the details on that for now. It’s a doozy.

Both

—They’re from Canada originally but moved with their family, including Nana Loon, to California at a young age. They’re both also fluent in French. At camp, they like to tease Edward by pretending to talk about him in French, which he doesn’t understand, when they’re actually discussing the weather or licorice ropes. (Later on, Edward likes when Ping Pong speaks French. Like, embarrassingly melting like butter on a freshly baked baguette. Ping Pong finds it funny. But what about Edward doesn’t he find funny, I ask you.)

—Their parents are also nerds. Go figure. Their father is a professor at a college, (I haven’t decided what he teaches,) and their mother is a semi-famous novelist. She knitted them the turtlenecks they received in “The Big Cheese.” Lumpus does indeed confiscate them for fishing pole cozies, but Mrs. Loon wrote a strongly worded letter threatening to mention his misgivings at her next book release. In the end, the Loons got their sweaters back, Larry his sneakers back, etc.

[sleepnoises]

watched the new mulaney* while folding laundry** and my observations are

it's exquisite to fold laundry to

it is 96% about rehab and addiction, 0% about wives old or new, 1% politics (jan 6th insurrection), 1% song about bo burnham

he cut the mention/impression of natasha lyonne at his intervention in favor of fred armisen (fool's decision)

he moved the dead grandparents bit to the start and i am still enchanted by the punchline "ask your mom if she thinks your dad's mom did a good job"

*i saw him last april weeks before the chappelle opening grevious fuckup and wanted to compare. i think he made at most $0.0001 off me from this viewing although netflix is not public with their bonus structures. thoughtcrime is of course unquantifiable

**i had like two months of laundry to fold

[bypatia]

gentle parenting my own parents #eldestdaughtercore

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

Wish I never told anyone so my parents would still love me lmao

[thatrandomblogsays]

Annabeth: I, a child, had to earn Thalia’s love, that’s how the world works! I have to earn my moms love. Love is transactional, you gotta be worthy of it first silly :)

Percy, listening to this on the train

[notherpuppet]

Alastor pulls the “we’re not so different; you and I” card 🤪

Don’t fall for it Vaggie!!!!

[monakisss]

the reverend family and harrow's childhood (based on htn)

[stars-obsession-pit]

“Mom, why do you think ghosts are intrinsically evil?”

“It’s what the science says, of course!”

“No, I mean like, what were the studies? What did they actually observe”

“Ohh, I get what you mean, Danny! Well across all reputable reports of encounters with the ghosts strong enough to matter, they’ve always attacked first and never responded to attempts at communication! There’s no reason for them to do that if they’re not evil!”

“Huh…”

…

Danny, learning about Ghost Speak and how humans can’t understand it: hmm.

Danny, learning that ghosts greet each other and bond by fighting: hmmm.

[7iffer]

Baby boy tiny bee baby

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[circusclownproductions]

seeing a lot of videos that are like “I didn’t know babies couldn’t have water” so here’s an incomplete list of things you need to know before having a baby

- the obvious, they can’t have water bc milk is incredibly high in water already so excess water leads to over hydration

- babies cannot have honey until 1

- if ur breastfeeding your kid and saving excess milk, make sure you label what you pumped in the morning vs at night bc your body produces different melatonin levels throughout the day and giving your baby daytime milk at night can make them more alert and fuck up their sleep schedule

- idk why ppl keep saying this but swaddling your babies or getting them those baby straight jacket things is not abuse. It chills them out cuz it reminds them of the womb

- babies have a dandruff like buildup on their head called cradle cap, and it’s very easy to deal with and remove with just some baby shampoo, a gentle scrub brush (MADE FOR BABIES!!) and a comb. It does need to be removed tho cuz it can be very painful after a while. This can also continue to happen late into toddlerhood it’s normal

- you have to clean out the creases of your baby’s skin and hands and feet they WILL collect dust😭😭

- you cannot bathe your baby until their umbilical cord naturally falls off. Use a warm damp rag until then

- tummy time is actually very important

- your baby might have a misshapen head at first (not all the time but sometimes) this will either sort itself out or they’ll need a corrective helmet ask your doctor

- I wouldn’t recommend having your baby leave the house very much until they’re at least 6 months old, especially if they’re born near cold and flu season cuz the common cold can kill a newborn

- you’re not an awful horrible person for having postpartum depression and it’s always a million times better to let your baby cry a few minutes longer than normal while you regain your composure than to freak out and give ur kid shaken baby syndrome

- you’re not an awful horrible person for giving your baby formula milk either

- don’t put shoes on your baby it’ll compromise their toe box and balance

- babies put every single thing in their mouths

- the easiest way to burp a baby is to hold them straight up (spine straight) and hold their head a bit higher

- always support their head they barely have necks

- if your baby fights away food, fights tummy time, vomits every single time you burp them, is gaining or losing an unreasonable amount of weight at a time, wheezes after eating, or goes red after eating, chances are they’re probably allergic to the type of milk they’re eating (again ask a doctor but these are just some signs it’s not just colic)

- they will wobble a lot when learning to do things but you gotta fight the urge to help them every single time cuz they gotta learn

- they’re not always spitting out baby food cuz they don’t like it they just don’t know how to eat. Like they don’t know how to push food down they only know how to stick their tongue out so be patient

- babies craniums are broken up into three parts at first that later fuse together, this is to help make birthing easier but it results in a small EXTREMELY sensitive spot in the top of their head that has no protection. This puts their brain at a high risk. Always protect their soft spot

- read to your baby!! Get cute bright colorful sensory books with sight words and read them to your baby it makes such a huge difference in their educational growth and will help them acquire a love for reading early on. And talk to them never shut up just say whatever comes to mind all the time this will strengthen their vocabulary growth also.

- babies poop like a lot. A lot. an unreasonable amount. Bring back up clothes and more diapers than you think

- no pillows or stuffies in the crib and only use a muslin blanket unless it’s especially cold to prevent suffocation

- babies kick reflexively until they’re out of their newborn scrunch (they stay womb shaped for a while) and if your baby is crying and pushing at the swaddle try letting them flail around for a minute

- consoling your baby is not spoiling them ! They need comfort and they will learn to self soothe on their own

- singing lullabies actually works, they can recognize your voice a consistent place of comfort from the womb and the cadence of lullabies is literally engineered to create a calm headspace

- for the love of god do not get boring ass beige toys. Colors are important for their neurological development

- babies are very responsive to praise from a young age so be as supportive of them as you can

- babies get constipated a lot and you have to do like tummy massages to help ease their pain the easiest way is to lay them on their backs and hold one foot in each hand, kick their feet like bicycles, scrunch up, and then stretch their legs out

- holding them on your hip too much will not cause bow legged-ness if your baby is bow legged that was always gonna happen

- they drool so so much and you have to get bibs for them so they don’t get chest eczema

- don’t use scented products on their skin cuz their skin is sooo much thinner than ours

- when your baby first starts sitting on their own never walk away from them without setting up a nest of pillows and blankets around them. Even minor head trauma can mess them up sometimes

- this one is kinda morbid and scary but sometimes babies just die out of nowhere and it’s no one’s fault or anything it’s called sudden infantile death syndrome(SIDS) and it’s about 1.3k deaths on average per year in America so not super common but still very real. 90% of these deaths happen during the first four months however edit: apparently it’s bc of an enzyme deficiency which at the very least you can take steps to try and prevent

- smoking and drinking during pregnancy WILL affect your baby and your breast milk and also might contribute to SIDS cases

- babies sometimes have a big red mark on them somewhere called a stork bite immediately after birth but typically it goes away

- babies can’t see very well for a while after birth and they’re VERY wobbly so they’ll typically bonk their head into your chest and face a lot while trying to support themselves

- female babies might have smth similar to a period the first few days after birth, this is because of the hormone transfer that happens during the birthing process and the days leading up to it

- male babies get random erections for the first few days after birth(hormone transfer again) literally do not be weird about this it’s a baby

- things like weaning your baby onto solid foods, potty training, weaning off pacifiers etc, can actually be directed by the baby and will happen naturally will minimal guidance from the parent(some guidance is still necessary) although I would do individual research into baby led weaning for food to prevent choking

- get those chewy feeding pouches to help with weaning

- the most random things will scare the hell out of your baby don’t take it personal 😭

- baby carriers are life savers (tulas are one of my favorites)

- once babies hit toddlerhood they’re tougher than you think, and a lot of their reaction is based on YOURS. they’re always going to be looking to you for how to react to a situation. Remain calm and if they’re ok they’ll calm down but if they’re genuinely hurt they’ll keep crying

- babies will most likely get ridiculously attached to an inanimate object and you have to keep this thing intact at all costs until they’re old enough to abandon it or they will throw a FIT. I got a lemur plushie from a zoo once and every single one of the kids has bonded their soul with it until about 6 years old and once a month I have to stitch him back up

- don’t compare yourself to other parents. Maybe your kid isnt getting grass fed wild caught north Atlantic cheerios but at least they’re fed. If your kid is alive and healthy and happy you’re doing a good job

- you will need 3 car seats, an infant seat, a grow with me toddler seat, and a booster seat

- getting a good diaper bag is a MUST

- the hair a baby is born with will most likely all fall out or they’ll get a bald spot on the back of their head where they sleep cuz their hair is so fragile and thin but once it grows back it grows back thick

- get like 20 muslin blankets so you always have a backup when the main ones are covered in spit up

- the babies grip IS stronger than yours (keep your hair up and keep pets away best you can)

- your best bet for your teething baby is a pacifier you can put your finger in so you can massage their gums and some chewing toys numbing cream can be dangerous and should be used sparingly

- go ahead and come to terms with the fact you’re gonna have to use a Frida Baby to manually remove snot

- babies can get hair and thread wrapped around their toes and fingers that can cut off their circulation try to make a habit of checking

- don’t hit your kid please it’s nothing but trauma and fucked up coping mechanisms from there pls empathize with your child they’re a person too

- be careful not to pull too hard on their arms and legs(like during play or holding their hand while they walk) and NEVER pick them up by their hands this will very easily cause dislocation

- they might have a little tooth like callous on their lip from their pacifier. This does not hurt them and it will go away but it may hurt during breastfeeding

- breastfeeding will make your boobs different sizes

Yeag that’s all I can think of rn but yk i Will add as I remember stuff ppl are also adding things I forgot in the tags in case you’d like to look thru that as well <3

[campy-mccampface]

Bus Pass: Fancypants Platypus

Name: Fancypants Platypus (formerly Francis Platypus)

Age: 36 at the time of the series

Residence: California, USA

Origin: New York, USA

Occupation: Fashion designer and later social media influencer

Orientation: Gay (like really, really gay)

Significant other(s): No significant ones but many flings

Fancypants Platypus is the third eldest son of the Platypus family. He’s catty, condescending, and self-centered. Like his other siblings, he was brought up in wealth, is a former Bean Scout and bullied Edward, the youngest, mercilessly. He’s a bigshot in the clothing design world, and his new status as a social media influencer has made him a household name. The latter, ironically, has humbled him somewhat and he has since become the only son to make peace with little Edward.

Biography: Canon and Headcanon

Francis Platypus was the third son born to Tony and Susan Platypus. From a very young age he had a keen eye for art, colors, and making himself favored. Tony, who owned and ran a very profitable construction company, had hoped this meant the newest boy would mature into an architect beneath him, but it wasn’t to be. This disappointment (that Tony and only Tony set himself up for, but he’ll never admit it,) would be the first bit of bad blood between them, but it simmered beneath the surface for decades.

For quite some time, Francis was the youngest child, after Chas (aka Cheesley) and Alfredo (aka Alpine.) Francis was the subject of bullying himself from them for his effeminate nature and comparable physical weakness. They took to calling him “Sissy” and “Nance,” and the minute he turned eighteen he spitefully changed his name to “Fancypants Platypus,” by which time he had fully embraced his queerness and was apprenticing in clothing design. They thus couldn’t mock him as they had without complimenting what was shaping up to be a meteoric rise in wealth and stardom of his own. (That’s not to say Tony respected Fancypants becoming self-made and openly gay. Far from it.) When Philip was born, the tradition of the youngest brother being the family punching bag seemed to pass, which made Fancypants secretly very angry at the unequal treatment.

But before that, the Platypus brothers went to Camp Kidney on the other side of the country, in Prickly Pines, California. Tony had gone to camp there himself as a boy, and he got a kick out of sending his materially spoiled boys “to that fucking dump” for a few summers. Only the three eldest boys went at the same time, for Philip and later Edward were too far apart in age. Although Philip went alone, the Platypus brothers’ reputation followed him, and no one messed with him. (Edward wasn’t so privileged with this association when his turn came.)

At camp, Francis was, individually, helpless. He couldn’t make fire, he flinched at the ball during sports, and he found the uniforms drab. He had no option then but to tag along with his brothers for support. For one reason or another, Cheesly and Alpine suddenly forgot to bully Francis and instead made him their rookie when it came to causing grief for other campers. Under their tutelage, Francis gave plenty of wedgies, threw many uniforms into rivers, and even beat up a few campers whom Cheesly and Alpine held down for him. He regards this as the low point of his life.

Five years after Philip came Edward, and at once the tradition of bullying the youngest brother came alive again. Intoxicated by being able to belittle others with his brothers’ help, Francis (and when the name change happened, Fancypants,) partook gleefully. They called Edward every name in the book. They slapped him awake with hands full of shaving cream. Every time he tried to make friends, they found some way to turn them away. And there was, of course, “tetherball.” Tony encouraged all of it, hoping it’d made Edward fight back (and somehow make him a construction company heir, it’s all he thinks of, yeesh.) Susan stayed on the sidelines as much as she disliked what the boys were doing, if only to not get sucked into conflict with Tony.

Edward, doted on as much as he was with gifts and money, was still totally alone and very tired of the whole world. By some act of God, the other brothers never found out about his Veronica doll. Fancypants only found out years later once they made peace, and even then kept it dark from the others considering he had written them off anyway.

From age 18 and on, Fancypants was unstoppable. He worked his way to the very top of the Design Department at the clothing company he worked, becoming its chief by age 30. He had pots of money he had made without his family’s help, was well-liked, and was openly gay. Tony and the other brothers were starting to lose patience with him. He was carving his own path in a way the other brothers, (Cheesly the owner of a chain of gyms, Alpine an NBA all-star,) hadn’t: without fawning over his father and his company in public. This was considered disrespect, and Fancypants rightly refused to stop being his own person. It wasn’t long after the events of “Edward’s Brothers” that Fancypants did indeed break away from the family. They may have hoped that going back to camp to pick on Edward “like old times” would help, but it didn’t.

Fancypants once again was the family black sheep, and he didn’t mind a bit. He even marketed a line of “Black Sheep Woolen Turtlenecks.” That’s just the kind of petty he is. In this new, low-attention span digital age, Fancypants found another avenue for money and fame: social media influencing. He uploaded videos of himself designing, comparing various clothing brands to his own, makeup tutorials, etc., and had millions of followers virtually overnight.

This also exposed him to much online nastiness, and it struck a chord with him. (A very late wakeup call to be sure, but whatever.) He “found” Edward online, and discovered he was out and gay too. At once, Fancypants realized what a jackass he had been, and immediately he set out to find his little brother and make amends if possible. Edward accepted, after first letting Fancypants grovel a bit, and after a bit of awkwardness they’ve since become very tight.

They bond over tea parties, talking smack about their brothers, other people and their fashion choices, having sleepovers and playing tennis on Fancypants’ own personal court at his mansion, and even play dolls together.

Edward’s favorite way to tease Fancypants is to call him a “queer elder.”

[ciderjacks]

dad issues

+

(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)

[radiance1]

When the Justice League heard of Phantom, they believed they had to act quickly. Based on what they were told by the GIW, a branch of the government they had no knowledge of previously (Batman is working to correct that), the ghost was dangerous and extremely powerful.

A ghost that terrorized a small town that they GIW have tried-and failed- on numerous occasions to send back to the Ghost Zone. The GIW wouldn't have come to the Justice League for help if it were just that, but based on what they have claimed Phantom has achieved an inexplicable rise in power after having met with the King of ghosts himself.

If what they say is true, then ghosts could potentially invade and cause an all-out war with humanity that the Justice League would rather much avoid thank you.

Negotiations for peace or understanding have been repeatedly rejected and the GIW has been led to believe that Phantom has done something to the Fenton couple. The leading ecto-biologists in the world, years of research suddenly wiped clean off and acting much more cordial towards the ghost.

A complete 180.

So much so that you could even claim them to have been mind controlled. Which isn't outside the realm of possibility due to ghosts having an innate ability to overshadow others and control them.

Perhaps even the entire town has fallen under Phantom's control. Even another ghost, who had just been recently opposed to Phantom, has fallen under his control.

So the Justice League had to act fast.

---

Danny was fucked.

He could tell that very, very well. He still didn't have his entire new... dragon thing... under control very well, mostly sticking a half human like form. His powers were stronger yes but he couldn't really control them well.

Which is kinda why he's fucked.

Danny has never heard about the Justice League before, mostly because he had recently found out that apparently Amity Park was isolated. Like, extremely. Basically it's own little world cut off from the rest.

So when they appeared with the GIW he thought, hey, maybe they were finally changing their white suit shtick.

He didn't expect them to be extremely well-trained, have supernatural abilities or magic. Along with their usual tech well.

Yea.

Danny was fucked.

And he was very, very scared.

He's already died once but that didn't mean he wanted to die again, and he knows that he would probably be heavily experimented on if the GIW actually got their hands on him.

He was alone. He was surrounded. He was outnumbered. And he was oh, so very scared.

His family and friends had already fallen (thankfully not dead, just unconscious he thinks) and Vlad was occupied elsewhere, also fighting.

So Danny was alone.

No one would be coming to help him.

So what did he do?

He opened his mouth and did something he didn't do often. Despite that he could see that they somewhat recognized what he was about to do and tried to find cover.

Danny wasn't aiming at them.

He pulled his head back, mouth aimed at the sky.

Danny wailed.

It was waaaay more powerful than he had originally thought, so he was glad he aimed it at the sky.

As soon as it was over he felt drained, swaying on his feet and trying to use his tail to steady himself and not fall off his own claws.

They didn't know what was happening.

Danny just hoped it worked.

---

Neither the Justice League nor the GIW knew why Phantom shot one of his most powerful attacks up into the sky, but they did see the opportunity it presented.

Phantom was weak. Looking like he would fall off his own feet and fall unconscious.

They had to act quickly.

But before they could, from right where Phantom had wailed into the sky.

It cracked.

And continued to crack.

Until a large hole appeared in the sky, leading into a dimension of endless green.

The Infinite Realms.

They believed Phantom was trying to retreat.

They were wrong.

Two roars came from the portal, forcing everyone to cover their ears.

Then.

Something came out of the portal.

A long, serpentine dragon flowed out, flying around the area of the crack before descending down and around Phantom.

Then.

A giant claw grabbed onto the edge of the crack. Pushing against it until it broke, forcing the hole bigger and bigger as a much, much larger dragon stepped out. Standing protectively over the serpentine dragon and Phantom.

A large crown wrapped in flame floating about its head signified its status.

The Ghost King.

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

I can't live with these fucking people anymore