#parent paulkins

[pizzapetes-thatiscool]

Paul and Emma through the years

Wooo! I started this back in December and finally finished!! I started this after seeing a tiktok and here we are

Teen Paul and emma make me laugh more than it should

[lilacthebooklover]

okay, but have you ever considered,,, paulkins date at pasquallis. they get together a little earlier, paul takes her out to a restaurant. little do they know, pasquallis is where the cool kids hang out. uh oh. if you want some found family, you could even have them go on the night pete arranges to meet up with steph. they stop max and paul realises "oh wait that's ted's brother" and subsequently joins the neighbourhood watch. shenaninanigans ensue

[nogooddeetz]

i really want to see a scene between paul and alice. according to bill paul used to babysit alice and she thinks paul is cool (allegedly). i want to see their edgy teen and awkward but beloved uncle dynamic!

bonus points for emma meeting alice because of paul and the two of them immediately having a connection and an understanding, one rebellious teenager to another (ex-one).

[hopex4]

Celebrating my like 50th watch of TGWDLM

I love how they cling to eachother during Join Us (And Die)

[artyfartyliz]

au brainrot in the form of Little Guys TM

[holly-makes-arts]

AHHHH!?!?!? IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!!! LIKE THAT MUCH?! I didn’t expect if for this messy ass doodle OUEHWIWD IM SO GLAD IT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!

Thank you thank you thank YOU!! For writing the fic in the first place oMG it is literally the cutest thing EVER and with the perfect amount of fluff and OMG I love it so much I can’t stop reading it!! It’s like you read my mind and put everything I like in a fanfic together and JDJSOANSNS

also that’s like the nicest thing anyone has said about my art EVER?? AAAHH THANK YOU!! <33

ALSO ALSO IM SO HONORED that this inspired you?? This AU lives rent free in my head I’m so happy you are making more!! <333

My brain has been absolutely consumed by paulkins and I stumbled upon this fanfic by @daylightisviolent that was a WINGFIC and oh god I LOVE WINGFICS anyways here’s a lil drawing

Let’s pretend I know how to draw children. And furniture. And wings.

A lil bonus below the cut!

Paul wears glasses when tired because I said so.

[rentumblsstuff]

Random Hatchetfield Headcanons

The first time Alice Woodward ever smoked weed was when (after much inner turmoil) she asked Deb to shotgun it with her.

Max has two snaggletoothed incisors which is why people swear to god he has fangs.

Deb also has a snaggletooth which is what inspired the vampire part of Alice’s vampiric sapphic play. Alice also thinks it’s ironic she made a vampire character when Deb is a vegan.

Ruth as a Sophmore hit on Senior Alice a lot. Alice thought it was funny and she and Deb “adopted” her. Max and Steph also put the PANIC in bi panic for Ruth.

Max would find it weirdly hot that Grace wears bathing suits under her clothes because of the idea that he gets to see what her body looks like before even she does.

The hospital is downtown, so Becky Barnes definitely got infected in TGWDLM. Despite never wanting to do it again, Becky climbs the tree as someone calls the HFPD to save Kathy’s cat because she’s still infinitely compassionate even under Pokey’s control. Plus, Pokey knows she wants to get over the trauma associated with climbing trees, so he makes her do it to give her a big number about finally overcoming her past. She accidentally flings the cat as soon as the song starts, which is why in Show Me Your Hands, the cat dies so quickly even though it JUST got called in.

Peter infected Steph who infected Deb who infected Alice in TGWDLM. Pete and Steph would have been Sophomores and Deb and Alice were Seniors, but I always imagine Steph and Deb knowing eachother because MRFC said Steph is in the Smoke Club on Twitter at some point. Assuming Steph’s been a little punk for a while, she’s been in the smoke club since at least Sophomore year, and probably a new inductee the same year as TGWDLM (2018).

Alice and one of her parents (maybe Bill) were also raised in purity culture because we know the Woodwards and the Chastitys go to the same church. The Woodwards probably take it with a grain of salt though (Alice has expressed dislike over Grace’s prudishness)- either that or one of her parents (probably her mom) wasn’t originally from said church and also raised Alice with “this is what you’re learning here, but here’s also what I learned at my church at your age.” Bill was likely the one raised in purity culture because he does NOT LIKE DEB and thinks that if she HAS TO date a girl, she should date someone like Grace Chastity, implying she’s an exemplary teen girl. Ms. Woodward lets Deb sleep over and probably knows she smokes and likes her anyways; three points for Alice’s mom not being the puritanical one.

Ted reads romance novels. He’s a former geek turned sleazeball- you know he reads the smuttiest novels ever and calls them “his research”. He refuses to read any book with the friends to lovers trope because it’s too upsetting to think about. (Side note Time Bastard gave us a definite date that timelines don’t branch/reset before depending on whichever theory you believe because the homeless man is in every timeline, meaning that Jenny’s death is fixed in time and never changes: October 7th 2004, so the timelines change anywhere between October 8th 2004 and 2018.)

In whatever timeline Emma finally gets to have her weed farm, she meets Paul when he tells her he was prescribed that marajamij for his anxiety and he was too scared to try Xanax. She thinks he’s kind of cute for a wet cat of a corporate slave. “Fuck the patriarchy? Yes please.” (Side note Paul seems so uptight and unfuckable like bro gotta be blank down there like a Ken doll and has no discernible kinks from what I remember while Emma is laid back and chill asf and like… normal in comparison so yeah sure Paulkins canonically fucks but does Emma enjoy it?? Like dude even Pete’s more fuckable than him come on.)

Pete and Steph don’t kiss when they admit their feelings for eachother even though one of them would die before ever getting to kiss each other because they both think it’ll only make it that much harder to go through with sacrificing the other. One of the reasons Pete also chooses to be the one to take the bullet because he doesn’t think he even COULD pull the trigger on her. Like it’d be physically impossible for him, in his mind.

TGWDLM was originally meant to be an allegory for the institution brainwashing us. Show Me Your Hands and America’s Great Again: examples of people in power working for and fulfilling the evil wishes of some almighty, otherworldly, inhuman THING (be it aliens, be it those in power). It’s clearly meant to satirize the way that power corrupts and tries to convince you its way is better. Even Hidgens, THE FUCKING TEACHER, tries to teach his student that it will be better for everyone to join in that corruption and give in to the hive mind. This reminds me of how the school system in America tries to paint our history as something glamorous; manifest destiny instead of genocide of the indigenous populations. The people in power convincing those under them that the deaths of countless lives is a good thing and it will pave the way to a better future. Cool motive, still murder. Which is why Emma “Fuck the Patriarchy” Perkins is the last one to be infected. She was incapable of being brainwashed , and even when she was the last one left, she saw that the people watching didn’t care, and the all-consuming threat of corrupted power closes in on her until the very last moment.

The Lords in Black were going to try to convince whoever sacrificed their most treasured something to do more work for them, but Grace required very little convincing. Like Wiggly spoke into her mind like “Gracy-Wace! You forgot my booky-wook! Look in it, see any thing you like? Wanna kill all the pervy-wervys?” And she’s like “holy cow I can kill all the pervy-wervys with this book?” Pete would have needed the most convincing because he’s just lost the only girl who will ever love him (in his mind) and so he’d think these things took away his one chance at true love and NEVER want to deal with them again. Even if they offered him a way to get her back, he’s too smart to know that won’t come without an even bigger price AND too paranoid to think she won’t come back wrong like Max did.

If the Green-Foster family ever did get to move to California and Lex got to be an actress, her interview attitude would be a lot like Reneé Rapp and if she ever got asked about why she’ll openly shit talk people in an interview, she’s like “I used to work retail I learned pretty fast that nothing gets done if you keep your mouth shut.”

[amorhedera6]

i have so many thoughts about paulkins kids. there are many options, and lucky for us, we know that paulkins exist in every universe.

in one, when paul and emma aren’t yet dating but are “intimate” emma misses her period. she goes to a doctor and gets confirmation. she panics because she and paul aren’t serious yet, but she realizes how happy the idea of having a family with him makes her. they have a daughter, addison jane perkins-matthews, that everyone calls a.j. she has emma’s hair and paul’s blue eyes, and she loves to swim.

in another universe, they don’t have a kid until they’ve been married for a few years. it took them a while to get there, with emma wanting to take things slowly and paul waiting for her no matter what, but he takes her name and they become the perkins’. when they have their son, they name him matthew after paul’s family. he’s got paul’s lighter brown hair and his blue eyes, but he still manages to look more like emma. he was made for the kitchen, and loves loves loves cooking and baking.

there’s another universe where emma and paul have twins girls, elizabeth and olivia. the two could not be more polar opposites, with lizzie being less feminine, loving soccer and sports, and livvy being so extremely femining, wanting to be a fashion designer, but they are always there for each other. the two love each other and always manage to support each other’s passions.

in another universe, they have a family of five, brianna, christopher, and freddie. bri is an artist, always painting and drawing. christopher loves to dance, and to paul’s horror joins theatre in high school. paul learns to love performances when it’s his son, seeing the joy and determination in his face. freddie loves to read, will devour a book so quickly it’s actually a little frightening. paul and emma watch their kids fight across the dining table and smile fondly.

sometimes, they don’t have kids at all. emma’s commitment issues making her hesitate, or her issues with her own parents (which i am headcannoning). maybe paul, who only ever says “kids, someday, maybe” decides he only ever felt pressured into wanting kids. sometimes only one doesn’t want kids, sometimes both, but either way they always respect it.

sometimes they take too long. paul pines for years, emma doesn’t want to label it, and by the time they’re ready, they’re told emma can’t have kids.

there’s a universe where they keep a foster home, their house a revolving door for kids who need a place to stay. they look out for each and every one of them, giving them a place to feel safe and good people to look up to.

there’s a universe where they adopt a pair of siblings who lost their parents too young, the older maddison always having to look out for her little brother michael. maddie never had time to have a hobby, or a passion, but in their safe space she can admit to herself that she wants to be a filmmaker. mike adores his older sister, and loves to play the guitar.

in one universe, they adopt a toddler who was mistreated by his guardians. harry took a while to warm up to them because of this, but they helped him adjust and recuperate and grow from it all. he grew up to be a botanist, loving learning about biology from his figurative grandpa hidgens.

basically, i just want and need happy ending paulkins who have a happy domestic little life and shit.

[louissatturi]

Would this character be invited in a paulkins wedding? (I'm ignoring forever and always just because)

Tom Houston and Tim Houston - they are what rested of emma's family (Jane) so even if they warent in the best terms she would invite them

Emma's parents- she would NOT invite them, because they are probably dead or abusive since she dosen't talk about them AT ALL

Ziggy - Emma probably would already have her pot farm and this is basicly the only canon Emma friend we ever get in the whole Hatchetfield verse series

Professor Hidgens- i think she would get super close to him and invite him out of pity

Linda Monroe- "this dosent make sanse, Emma would 1000% hate linda" well do you think linda Monroe would simplily NOT attend the wedding of the sister of her dead friend? Also she would give some nice gift since she is rich and stuff

Overall Emma would have a very small guest section and she wouldn’t invite a lot of people

PAUL IN THE OTHER HAND!

Paul's family - Paul is a avarege men, he would 100% invite all his biológical family even tho he dosen't like all his family menbers

Bill and Alice WoodWard - that is his BestFriendForever out here! Not only that but Bill is also his best men (Alice was also invited because Bill wanted her there)

Charlotte Sweetly - he thought it would be a nice way to make her more chill and he took pity on her talking about her wedding and she would help them with the preperations

Ted Spankoffski - he did't wanted to invite him but the ted confronted him about it and then he was invited

General McNamara: i think they would be besties in every timeline they meet and i think he would LOVE weddings

Barry Swifty - i just think it's funny that he is there in forever and always and i like to think that he is besties with paukins for some random reason

Mr Davidson- he is 100% scared of his boss and invited him just to keep face

Melissa - i just think it's funny Melissa being there because she canonicly has a crush on him and HATES Emma

Characters that warent invited but are there because they are the + 2 of the people invited

Becky Barnes- Defenily not tom's girlfriend

Deb - bill was NOT happy to having to deal with deb but their relationship is better

Sylvia - she is his girlfriend in forever and always and i want a bill with a good romantic love life sorry

Frank - i shipp him with Barry sorry (jeff and corey have INSANE quimistry)

Pete Spankoffski - he was dragged along because ted wanted to show him how to pick up woman in weddings

The random peep agent that joey played in tgwdlm - okay this is basicly a saf-Hatchetfield oc because of the headcannon that actor joey ritcher have that his character is MacNamara son and i loved it so much so yeah he is there and his name is Owen MacNamara and he has a boyfriend named Agent Curt Mega, sorry

[mistoelectra]

I have no self control and am maybe perhaps writing a Paulkins single parent/guardian AU oops it has been goddamn stuck in my brain

[nectorbruise]

I was sketching and thinking about Black Friday

Did anybody watch that star kid show and knows who they are. Good ol lex foster and Ethan green, my favorite musical couple just behind Paulkins. My favorite punks, my tired parents, my lovely main characters(?) Ethan really isn’t but fuck you, he is in my heart

[pizzapetes-thatiscool]

Emma Perkin’s childhood

I believe emma is a fantastic mother to her kids…I also wish I could find more parent Paulkins content. I make this for myself lol

[lilacthebooklover]

hatchetverse but paul accidentally becomes everyone's parental figure. lex & hannah's? sure, they deserve a good parent who'll look out for them. stephanie lauter? yeah, why not, her dad highkey sucks. richie? absolutely, could even make them be biologically related for the lols. he meets peter through ted, they're chill (potential for angst if ted disappears in this iteration of the multiverse). he's the guy alice goes to about all of her stresses and worries- the 'cool uncle'. he meets ruth at the coffee shop where he sees emma before they have a concrete relationship, ruth is very vocal about how she wishes she could have a partner too. he could be even max freaking jagerman's unofficial dad (he does not think max has to fight off "one lousy skele'un" to be worth something). he tries to solve grace chasity's religious guilt with "yeah no sex is normal" and she views him as a source for all advice on the matter after that. paulkins but paul is a tired dad and emma doesn't find out he has like 50 kids until they've been dating a couple months and one of them randomly runs into his house. she introduces him to tim and he just rolls with it. it's another nephew, okay, neat. he's not great with kids but he finds himself with loads of them somehow anyway. then they all face off against sadistic eldritch gods and multiple cults together like a family. what more could you want?

[wigglys-dikrats]

hiya !

i’m milo grey, 25, aspec gay & nonbinary, key/kyr (pronounced keer), AuDHD

i mainly post about starkid here, specifically hatchetfield and pulp (as well as the greater starcanwreckedpulp, but i do occasionally post random stuff too) (my blog is not spoiler free for cinderella’s castle and pulp episode 4, but everything will be tagged)

i’m a proud parent (mod) at blinky’s rewatch party, a community discord server (come join us, we have lots of fun !!) follow @blinkysrewatchparty for details :D

i’m also one of the mods for hatchetfield femslash fortnight ! follow @femslashfortnight for details !

i don’t usually post super explicit or nsfw here, but i’d prefer <16 didn’t follow me

my dms and inbox are open for whatever, esp to talk about pulp and paulkins (i’m normal i promise) (lying)

i occasionally write fic on ao3 @ gary_goldstein

dni: terfs, zionists, racists, homophobes, transphobes, bigots, ableists

[perkymatthews]

infected!paulkins parental hcs cause i wanna use them on kelly one day

°+~💙🩵 INFECTED PAULKINS PARENT HEADCANONS 🩵💙°+~

- These two would give you the world and more. Seriously, they'll kill for you (they probably have before)

- Also they hold you lion king style to show you to the rest of the hive

- They sing you lullabies. Actually, who am I kidding, they sing for you every chance they get. No accomplishment goes unsung.

- The meals they make you are very strange, since they use ingredients from their home planet, but very wonderful.

- Whimsical dancing is commonplace!

[starcanwreckedpulpparentspoll]

This is the submission form for award categories idea for the starkid/tincanbros/shipwrecked/pulp musicals fan awards.

Although I only put 5 spots you can submit as many categories as you want, just use a new form. I plan on closing this form on the 11th of December.

Categories I already plan on doing below cut, I will probably be coming back and editing and adding more categories along the way

Fan categories:

Biggest fan of shows:

- Biggest AVPT fan

- Biggest MAMD fan

- Biggest Starship fan

- Biggest HMB fan

- Biggest Twisted fan

- Biggest TTO fan

- Biggest ANI fan

- Biggest Firebringer fan

- Biggest Hatchetfield fan

- Biggest TGWDLM fan

- Biggest BF fan

- Biggest NPMD fan

- Biggest Nmt1 fan

- Biggest Nmt2 fan

- Biggest Hey Melissa fan

- Biggest AVHSCC/VHSCC Live/VHSCCs fan

- Biggest SAF fan

- Biggest Flop Stoppers fan

- Biggest SISR/SISBIB/HTGCC fan

- Biggest WWG fan

- Biggest TCBOB fan

- Biggest Poe Party fan

- Biggest Gilded Lily fan

- Biggest American Whoopee fan

- Biggest Headless fan

Biggest fan of characters:

- Biggest Greater Gatsby fan

- Biggest TGMH fan

- Biggest TBS fan

- Biggest TGOA fan

- Biggest Wiggly fan

- Biggest Blinky fan

- Biggest Tinky fan

- Biggest Nibbly fan

- Biggest Pokey fan

- Biggest Webby fan

- Biggest Ted fan

- Biggest Pete fan

- Biggest Paul fan

- Biggest Emma fan

- Biggest Paul Catmews Advocate

- Biggest fan of Background Characters

- Biggest Ruth Fleming fan

- Biggest Linda Monroe fan

- Biggest Richie Lipschitz fan

- Biggest Jacob Marley fan

- Biggest Esther fan

Biggest fan of duos and ships:

- Biggest Spankoffski Bros fan

- Biggest Foster Sisters fan

- Biggest Lautski fan

- Biggest Paulkins fan

- Biggest Lexthan fan

- Biggest Holloduke fan

- Biggest Lautming fan

- Biggest Curtwen fan

Biggest fan of actors:

- Biggest Mary Kate Wiles fan

- Biggest Sean Persaud fan

- Biggest Sinéad Persaud fan

- Biggest Sarah Grace Hart fan

- Biggest Lauren Lopez fan

- Biggest Joey Richter fan

Other:

- Best Memes

- Best Theorist/Analyst

- Most Active Tumblr Member

Character Categories:

- Best Evil Plan

- Best Costume

- Biggest Simp

- Hottest Villain

- Most Confused Hero

- Worst Parent

- Best Parent

- Best at Making Us Sob

- Silliest Little Guy