#papa arc and jaunes sisters are off to the side

[willsonlmt]

How it goes when asking for the parents' blessing : Jaune vs. Pyrrha

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Jaune: Mrs. Nikos, I would be honored if you bestowed your blessings to propose to your daughter.

Mama Nikos: How very kind of you to ask jaune. Yes, you may have it. Please take good care of my daughter and love her right.

Jaune: Thank you, and I will. She's the most important person in my life. I'll always strive to do the best for her.

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Pyrrha down on one knee

Pyrrha: Mrs. Arc, may I have your blessings to marry your son.

A knife gets tossed next to her. Pyrrha looks up to see Mama Arc in a fighting stance with a sword.

Mama arc: Prove your worth to have my son.

[verydeadaten]

It's in the Blood

It was a lazy Saturday at the Arc household. Pyrrha and Jaune are both taking a well deserved day off. Their first and second youngest, Helen and Gorga, were with their Aunt Nora and their Uncle Ren. It was peaceful.

Pyrrha: *lounging outside* It's so nice out.

???: Just hold still!

???: Yeah, I know!

Pyrrha: Hmm? What's that?

Pyrrha gets off her chair, walking to the side of the house. There she sees her middle children, the Twins. Romula and Remus Lupus Arc, both 8 years old. Romula was standing in front of a tree, with an apple sitting on top of her head of red hair.

Her brother, Remus, was standing a few yards in front of her. His blue eyes were squinted in concentration, and he seemed to be holding... A KNIFE?!

Romula: RIP IT DUDE!

Remus: Alright, here it goes! *throws knife*

Pyrrha: OH OUM!!!

Pyrrha quickly used her semblance, stopping the knife before it even got close to Romula, and then putting it in her hand.

Pyrrha: By the cracked moon, what the hell are you doing?!

Remus: Practicing knife throwing.

Pyrrha: WHY?

Romula: We saw some videos online, and it looked really cool!

Remus: Yeah, and Papa told us about when he threw knives with his sisters. And it sounded so awesome.

Romula: Mega awesome.

Pyrrha: Okay, but why would you use yourselves as targets? What if you got hurt, or worse?

Romula: We were aiming for the apples. And we have our auras. We were fine.

Pyrrha: *sighs really deeply and rubs her eyes* You're both grounded.

R+R: Mama!

Pyrrha: You're both grounded for a week. No videogames! Where's Michael. He should be watching you.

Remus: He said he would be at the big tree.

Romula: *upset* He left before we even started!

Pyrrha: *sighs even deeper* Of course he is. Just, just go to your room.

R+R: *dejected* Yes mom.

As Pyrrha storms off to the tree, the twins started to collude.

Romula: Wanna watch a scary movie?

Remus: Sure.

____

The Arc home was surrounded by forest. About a 100 yards away was the Big Tree, the biggest tree in the whole forest. You could see the top of the tree from the front of the house. Michael Cherub Arc, a 12 year old and the oldest Arc child, preferred the tree as his hangout of choice, somehow getting all the way to the top. Pyrrha never really knew how he got up there, but right know she really didn't care.

Pyrrha was nearing the foot of the tree. Craning her neck up, she could see some blond locks. Her son for sure. He was looking at the sky, away from the house, and before she could even open her mouth, he spoke.

Michael: Hey mom.

Pyrrha: Michael Cherub Arc, what are you doing up here?! I told you to watch the twins!

Michael: *munch* I wanted to look at the heavens again. Anyway, they're fine. They weren't going to do anything dangerous.

Pyrrha: They were throwing knives.

Michael: ...oh. *chewing* Well, with their aura, it couldn't be that dangerous.

Pyrrha: Wait... What are... What are you chewing? Are you eating my figs again?!

Michael: N-No...

Pyrrha: I swear to the Brothers. Get your butt down that tree and go to your room! You are grounded mister!

Michael: *figs falling out his mouth* B-B-BUT MAMA!

Pyrrha; No buts mister. I told you to do this one thing, and you didn't do it! You left! And on top of that, you ate my figs! You know your father grows those for me!

Michael: Mama I'm sorry!

Pyrrha: Sorry doesn't cut it. You better be at the house in ten minutes, or I'm adding another week to your punishment.

Michael: Okay.

Pyrrha released another sigh. She was just so tired.

_____

Later, at the Arc house...

Pyrrha was stressed. She needed to snack on something, and maybe have a small sip of wine. As she walked to the kitchen, she could hear the mad yelling of her second eldest, Constantine, from his room upstairs.

Constantine: You PEASANT ants. You think you can come into MY kingdom, take a bite of MY rations? I'll show you. I'LL SHOW YOU ALL! AH HAHAHAHAHA!

...Nope. Not dealing with that now. She needed to recharge. Upon entering the kitchen, she saw her beloved husband, Jaune Arc. He was also relaxing for today, since there where no missions. He as at the counter, putting milk, white bread, and... beer? into a bowl, which he then put powdered sugar on top of.

Pyrrha: Beloved, what are you eating?

Jaune: Oh, hey Pyr. I'm just having a snack. I would've used brandy, but it's just too early for that.

Pyrrha: *somehow sighs even deeper*

Jaune: *walks over to pyrrha* Pyr, are you okay?

Pyrrha: *embraces jaune* Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that our kids are crazy. I really don't know why I'm acting surprised, all you Arcs are crazy. I mean, for Oum's sake, their father decided it was a good idea to fake his way into a top huntsman school, without any prior training or even having his aura unlocked.

Jaune: Hey. I'm not that crazy.

Pyrrha: As your partner and wife, I can say with confidence that you are.

Jaune: Hmm. Is there anything I can do to help?

Pyrrha: Could you make me some lasagna?

Jaune: *kisses her forehead* One steaming hot lasagna coming up.

Pyrrha went to make herself a cup of coffee, and she looked at her husband cook. She smiled to herself, even though her family was completely mad, she wouldn't trade them for the world.

[rwac96]

Savage Pyrrha- When she meets Jaune's family she wanted things to be normal. But when they make jokes about her being way above Jaune's level... that is when she doesn't give a fuck. She praises Jaune of how good he is in spite of his parent's lack in support. And then proceeds to tell them that she is going to ride him all night long tonight until she is pregnant with his child. She will make them regret making jokes on Jaune's expense.

Pyrrha thought things would be normal, at least that's what she thought. Though, Jaune's comments on his sisters 'placing him in dresses' should've been signs she should've taken. She already listened to Weiss putting down her leader and lover over and over again, she could mistake his sisters for making jokes about him being the usual sibling squabbles. But listening to his own parents' lack of faith in their only son was the last straw for the Mistrial Champion. When his mother said that she could 'do so much better', her savage side was let out.

"Will you utter jackasses SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Pyrrha hollered at the top of her lungs, causing nine pairs of eyes to stare at her in shock. "Is this all you people do, put him down?!"

"It's...it's just a joke," one of the blonde twin Arc girls said, ignoring the fact that The Pyrrha Nikos had shouted the 'F-Word' in their household.

"Jokes are something everyone can laugh at together," Pyrrha corrected the girl, "what you're doing is laughing at your only brother's expense, you dense twat!"

"Hey now!" Saphron Cotta Arc spoke up, as she covered baby Adrian's ears, "You can't just--!"

"Oh, me swearing? Yet you mocking your brother around your nephew is expert fucking parenting," she rolled her emerald eyes. "Jaune worked his ass off to get where he is now! He nearly got fucking killed, he got harassed by four douchebags, and don't get me started on that twig of an heiress!"

"You mean Weiss--?" Terra spoke up, but her wife quickly placed a hand over her lips.

"He kept going, and I helped him to get better, academically, as a leader, and as a fighter!" Pyrrha stands up, grabbing hold of her lover's wrist. "While you jackasses think about that shit, I'll be upstairs in Jaune's childhood room and riding his big thick cock all night long!!"

"I...I don't think that's appropriate," Papa Arc began to speak but was met with the Champion's unamused glare.

"Says the man with eight kids!" She walks toward the stairs with Jaune in tow, "Oh, and expect another grandchild, Mr. & Mrs. Arc."

[howlingday]

Idea for the Arc spirits would it be too much if he could summon everyone from the Arc hall like the ghost army from the lord of the rings.

Worthy Judge History

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Papa Arc: Again!

Jaune: Hah! (Swings sword, Bashes shield)

Papa Arc: Breathe, Jaune! Breathe!

Jaune: (Inhales, Stabs and jabs)

Papa Arc: You're not dancing, you're fighting! Stay grounded!

Jaune: (Panting, Swings slow)

Papa Arc: ARROW!

Jaune: (Turns, Punched in the mouth) MM!

Papa Arc: You okay, Jaune?

Jaune: Mm! (Shakes head, Stands up) Yeah... (Panting) I'll... I'll live.

Papa Arc: Of course you will. This is just training. Once you're out there, it'll more different than these dummies. (Picks up) Thanks again for chopping up the hay. Makes feeding a lot easier.

Jaune: Y-Yeah... No... No problem.

Papa Arc: Alright, that's enough for now. Go on inside and wash up.

Jaune: O... Okay, Dad. (Sheathes his sword, Walks away)

Papa Arc: (Gathering hay, Wind howls) Mm... (Looks up, Sees storm clouds) 'Bout time...

---------------------------------------------------

Mama Arc: Jaune, could you come here, please?

Jaune: Okay, Mom.

Mama Arc: Jaune, would you like to pray with me tonight?

Jaune: Pray? Like, to the ancestors?

Mama Arc: Yes, dear. Your father and I have never tried to push this on you or your sisters before, and you are free to say no to us now as well.

Jaune: Um, I don't know if I really should. (Scratches head) I mean, I don't want to make you or the spirits angry.

Mama Arc: (Chuckles) It takes a lot to make the spirits angry, especially if you are an Arc communing with the Arc ancestors.

Jaune: Mm... Okay. Uh, when are we praying?

Mama Arc: Very soon, Jaune. Just bring yourself as you are, Jaune.

Jaune: Okay, Mom.

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune stepped into the Arc Hall, which was dark save for the candlelight at the far end of the long room. The soft scent of very calming lavender wafted around the room. Before the altar, lighting the scented candles, was his mother. Her long, white robe with golden trimmings hung off her slender arm as she held the lighting stick. As he approached, she blew out the flame and set it against the rim of the brazier.

"Jaune, could you fetch me the knife?" His mother asked. Off to the side, a large bladed knife sat beneath one of the candles. Taking the knife in hand, he delivered it to her. "Thank you." With a swift, but controlled swing, she lopped off the end of the lighting stick. The smouldering end fell into the center, and the hall illuminated with a blinding light. Jaune covered his eyes with his arms, letting out a soft grunt at the sudden flash. "Yes, that takes some getting used to. Keep your eyes closed until you've adjusted to the light."

Jaune did as he was told and held his eyes shut. The sting of the flash began to dull as the darkness seemed to soothe his aching eyes. Soon, he felt only the slightest tingle dancing along his lids. He turned away, feeling the heat of the crackling flame to his back, and he slowly opened his eyes. A line of candles greeted his view, the tiny, flickers of fire seemed to vibrate rather than dance as chaotic as their larger brother.

"Are you ready, Jaune?"

"Yes, Mom." He took his place by his mother's side, and echoed her movements until he was on his knees before the smoking altar. Lavender continued to fill his nostrils, calming his nerves. His mother began to pray.

"O ancestors who watch us, hear us."

"Bless us once more with your guidance."

"Bless us once more with your aegis."

"Bless us once more with your kindness."

"This until we join you in the Ever-After."

"Blessings be."

"Uh, b-blessings be." Jaune parroted. He barely attended these rituals of prayer, and was left clueless as what to do. He cracked open an eye to observe his mother, who was still kneeling. She must have been silently giving her prayers to his ancestors.

'Jaune.'

A voice echoed. It was distant, like a whisper in the wind.

'Jaune?' The voice became clearer, but was still distant. They sounded familiar.

'Jaune? Can you hear me?'

Jaune was staring face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her hair was long, held back in ponytail, and was that of the red leaves in autumn. Her eyes danced with a life well lived, well loved, and gleamed like the grass in the Mistrali springs near Xion in his youth. Save for her bronze tiara and neckguard, replaced with a thin red veil and a red dress, she was as breathtaking as the day he lost her. 'Hello, again.' Hot tears fell from his eyes.

"I-"

'It's okay, Jaune.' She smiled. 'I'm happy, because now I can watch you live the life I never could. Now go. You know where.'

'Never foget: I love you, Jaune.'

'Jaune.'

'Jaune.'

---------------------------------------------------

Mama Arc: JAUNE!

Jaune: (Gasps, Panting)

Mama Arc: It's okay, Jaune! Just breathe!

Jaune: (Deep breaths, Looks around) W-What...

Mama Arc: You passed out. I might have used too much lavender. I'm so used to it by now that I sometimes forget to put in a smaller amount.

Jaune: I... I saw Pyrrha...

Mama Arc: Jaune...

Jaune: She... She told me... She said I would know where I need to go.

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: I... I guess this is good-bye.

Papa Arc: Pah! More like, "See you next time!" Whenever that is.

Jaune: Yeah. (Hugs him) I'll see you, uh, when I see you, I guess.

Papa Arc: Yup. Love ya, Jaune.

Jaune: Love you, too, Dad.

Mama Arc: (Hugs him) Please, be safe out there, okay?

Jaune: I will, Mom. I love you.

Mama Arc: I love you, too. Do your best.

Jaune: I will, Mom. I'll try to visit longer next time.

Papa Arc: Or shorter, if you want.

Mama Arc: Nicholas!

Jaune: I'll be back. I promise.

Papa Arc: Arc's word?

Jaune: Arc's word. (Leaves)

Papa Arc: ...And you're sure of what he said about that night?

Mama Arc: Yes, I'm certain. What does it mean?

Papa Arc: It means our boy is protected. He's growing into a man, and with the strength of a woman aiding him, who knows how much?

Mama Arc: Is that normal? For someone not an Arc to become a part of the Arc family?

Papa Arc: To be honest, I don't think normal suits Jaune at all.

Jaune: Okay, was it station B or station C? (Watches leaves twirl around boarding post) Hm... Station C it is! (Walks away)

Pyrrha: (Smiling at him)

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

AU where Jaune's family pet is Trico from The Last Guardian (Although, can Hera still exist in this AU. I'm sorry it's just I love the puggle wuggle so much...)

Honestly I’ve never played the game, but I do know who you’re talking about. I’m glad you love Hera so much!

I don’t know about a whole AU, since I don’t know much about the game,  but how about a small silly Hera thing instead?

*NON-CANON POST BELOW*

Pyrrha steadily walked up the path to Jaune’s, admittedly large, family Mansion sized house with a forest off to the right. Her boyfriend walking next to her on her left while holding her hand, and their baby girl walking on her right. “So Jaune, why were you so nervous about going home? Do you not want your family to meet me?” 

Jaune rubbed the back of his neck as they neared his home. “No no, nothing like that. It’s Hera I’m worried about.”

Hera looked up at her Papa when she heard her name. When he didn’t address her, she tilted her head in adorable confusion and looked forward again to watch where she was walking.

“Why? Are they not dog people?”

“Actually the opposite. They all love pets and animals, dogs especially.”

“Then what is it?”

“Well…the thing is that my family already has a pet. In the past he’s been kind of protective. Or possessive.”

Pyrrha let out a noise of surprise. “Oh! How so?”

“Weeell…he-”

Jaune didn’t to finish his sentence as a a noise crossed between a roar and a huff startled the three. As they had been talking, they had slowly been getting closer to the house. Now they were finally within range for the Arc family’s pet to both smell and hear Jaune. 

And it wanted to say hello immediately. Particularly by coming bounding out of the treeline next to the Arc house and barreled straight at Jaune.

Pyrrha readied her gear and herself thinking they were about to attacked by the stampeding beast.

Hera lowered her front down and started to growl deeply, readying to let loose a Roar at the charging beast.  

And Jaune…. raised his hands and started talking to it.

Trico! Trico! Stop! They’re friends! Friends!” Jaune’s frantic yells didn’t seem to have any affect on the beast as it’s charge lost zero speed. Jaune stood firm however and said in a very stern tone, “Trico! Heel!”

The beast finally seemed to hear him. It skidded to a complete stop three feet from Jaune and his outstretched hand.

Jaune smiled and lowered his hand. “Good boy.”

He turned around to see his girlfriend and their Puggle stilled in their defensive stances. “Hey, girls. You can calm down. This is Trico. My family’s Guardian. Told you he could be protective.”

Pyrrha was slightly reassured by her boyfriend’s calm manner. She slowly lowered her guard and Hera did the same, but still seemed to be glaring at Trico.

Pyrrha began walking towards Jaune. Trico let out a threatening growl and a “BOARK!” at them, only to be admonished by Jaune. 

“Trico no! Be nice. They’re nice.”

Trico whined, but fell silent regardless. The giant beast decided to walk forward and nudge it’s snout repeatedly against Jaune’s body. Jaune knew what that meant and he began to scratch all over Trico’s snout. “Awwww your still a good boy.”

The scratches didn’t last long. Trico’s loud ruckus was heard inside by Jaune’s family who came out to investigate. They smiled wildly when they saw it was their only son/brother scratching Trico like always. They all shouted over for them to hurry up and come inside, and Jaune did just that. He had to almost drag a bewildered Pyrrha with him, but Hera helped by nudging her Mama along.

A short time later after hellos and introductions, Jaune explained to Pyrrha how his family came to have Trico. Long story short, Jaune’s dad found the little guy when he was just a baby while on a mission. He was lost and scared so Nicholas brought him home. 

From then on, he cemented himself as a member of the Arc family. Out of all of them though, Trico and Jaune seemed to bond the most. They basically grew up together.

Trico was then properly introduced to Pyrrha and Hera. Pyrrha immediately warmed up to the big boy, giving him scratches on his head. She even tossed him a couple treat balls outside.

Hera on the other hand, was a little less open to Trico, and the Trico was the same in return. They didn’t growl at each other or fight, but they seemed to always be watching one another and did their best to show one another up. For example, Hera would gladly accept all the attention and doting Jaune’s sisters and mother would shower her with while Trico would hog Pyrrha’s attention by acting cute and doing tricks.

It wasn’t until they both were called over by Jaune while he sat in their big backyard and he began to pat and scratch the both of them at the same time that they began to get along. 

They actually had a lot in common. They both had a favorite toy, Hera’s being her red ball and Trico’s was an almost human sized custom doll with a big enough squeaker for him to use, their favorite kind of treat was bacon treats, and the both loved getting comforting and loving head pats from Jaune. 

That night, as Jaune and Pyrrha went to bed, Hera decided to sleep with Trico outside in his barn sized “dog house” to keep him company. 

And Trico very much appreciated it, curling around the fluffy girl as she laid against his side and they both slept peacefully through the night.

Hope this was okay. I don’t really know anything about Trico or “The Last Guardian”.

[zerolympiustrife]

ZOS’ short stories 40

Title: Battle of the Blondes: Jaunathon Arc vs Yang Xiao Long! (RWBY)

The grand sequel to my 20th short story! I’ve had so many plans to make a new SS involving more puns, but also add in some yo mama jokes and pick-up lines to mix it up! Here we go!

Note: Also, same as the 20th SS, this contains Dragonslayer (Jaune x Yang)

————————————————————

*In a large stadium, Teams RWB, PR, CFVY, SSSN, CRDL, Oscar, Winter, Penny, Neo (who’s disguised), Ozpin, Glynda, Port, Oobleck, Qrow, Taiyang, Jaune’s parents, and multiple other folks are sitting on the stands, then Nora suddenly appears from the ceiling, lands on the boxing ring-esque platform with a three-point landing, and grabs a microphone*

Nora (yelling): LADIES...AND GENTLEMEN!!! WELCOME...TO THE JOKE-OFF!!!

*The crowd cheers*

Nora (pointing to her left): IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THIS CORNER...we’ve got a gorgeous, dorky boy hailing from who-knows-where! His papa’s “gun” fires more “shots” than a gatling gun and his mama’s loose on the “lips” but wide on the hips! Please welcome...

*The spotlight hits Jaune, who’s wearing a Luchador wrestler’s outfit that has fake bunny ears, fake bunny tail, and a circular symbol that has a jackhammer inside the symbol, but has bunny ears on top of said symbol, and it’s placed on the chest of his outfit*

Jaune (embarrassed): Oh...why did I agree wear this silly outfit again...?

Pyrrha (cheering): Go, Jaune! You’ve got this!

Nora (grinning): THE HUMAN JACKHAMME- I mean, JACKRABBIT!!!

*The entire audience cheers for Jaune, except for a certain team, who’s booing him*

Cardin: BOOOOOO!!! BO-

*Papa Arc, who’s sitting behind Cardin, places his fist over Cardin’s head, then pounds him into unconsciousness. Team RDL, who sees this, immediately runs like hell, leaving their unconscious leader behind*

Nora (pointing to her right): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND IN THIS CORNER...we’ve got a spunky, fierce woman hailing from the island of Patch! Her papa’s had two wives in his life, and out popped two awesome children! Not much is known about his former significant others, but give it for...

*The spotlight hits Yang, who’s also wearing a Luchador wrestler’s outfit that has fake dragon horns, fake dragon wings, and a fake dragon tail, and the circular symbol she has on her chest is an hourglass, with golden horns, wings, and a tail around the symbol*

Yang (smirking): Heh. This’ll be fun.

Ruby (cheering): Go, Yang! *Whistles*

Nora (grinning): THE SUNNY LITTLE DRAGON!!!

*The entire audience cheers for Yang, although the roaring applause is louder this time*

Jaune (sighing): ...I can tell who’s the one the audience thinks is gonna lose. *Glaring at everyone* But I’ll be sure to prove ‘em wrong.

Nora (whispering to Jaune): Just so you know, I’ve got the upmost faith in you, fearless leader.

*Jaune smiles from hearing this, then stands up*

Tai (whispering to Yang): Go get ‘em, Yang! Remember the training!

*Yang grins from hearing this, then stands up*

Nora (runs back into the center): ROUND ONE!!! ...Is the Pun-off! Remember the “Hammerspace” technique I’ve taught you two about. Good luck! *Runs off the platform*

*Jaune and Yang approach eachother closer, then engage in a DBZ-styled staredown*

Yang (smirking): You wanna make the first move, or should I, vomit boy? Or should I say...vomit bunny?

Jaune (glaring): ...Ladies first, as they say.

Yang (eyes widened): Ooh! A gentlemen on the first date, are we? Very well! Allow me to take the first... *Pulls out a pistol and a glass of alcohol* ...shot. *Fires into a spotlight and it breaks, then takes the shot of alcohol*

*Suddenly, Jaune feels a pain in his chest*

Jaune (shocked, internally): W-Whoa! D-Did I just feel physical pain? Just from Yang making a pun?!

Yang (crossing her arms): I’m waiting for you, vomit bunny.

Jaune (shaking off the pain): ...Good thing Grimm aren’t involved in this fight. Otherwise, we’d be in a Grimm situation.

*Suddenly, Yang feels pain from her right shoulder*

Yang (surprised, internally): W-What the...? Could this be some kind of force where making jokes and puns actually inflicts physical pain on you...?! Interesting! *Speaks up* Wanna know what’d we have to call Weiss if she ever got robbed? Heist Schnee!

Jaune (smirking): What’s the special seasoning that hails from the Schnee Manor? Spice Schnee!

Yang (smirking): Is that where salt comes from?

*Weiss glares at Yang*

Jaune: Yeah, and you gotta pay the price from that Schnee! The Price Schnee!

Yang (holding her body in pain): D-Don’t get frozen by her again! Once frostbitten, Weiss shy, as they say!

Weiss (holding her face): Goddamnit, not this again...

Jaune (also holding his body in pain): H-Hey, Yang! Good thing Oscar’s last name isn’t Palms! Or that Ruby’s last name isn’t Rosie! Otherwise, if they were to suddenly marry, and we went on a double date, we’d have to go on a date with Rosie Palms!

*Oscar holds his face in embarrassment, while Tai squints at him*

Tai (internally): Don’t you dare date my little rose.

Yang (squinting): He better not. Otherwise, if he ever dates my papa’s little rose, he’d be a thorn on my side.

Jaune: That pun made me so corny. *Pulls out a corn on the cob*

Yang: Really? I thought that pun made me so horny. *Points to her fake horns*

Jaune: I wouldn’t advise porning over an evil pervert.

Yang: Hell hath no fury like a woman porned.

Jaune: Ain’t that a damn flame. *Holds out a lighter and turns it on*

Yang: I wouldn’t bother reading a painfully slow, yet bitter argument between jerks on the internet. Otherwise, it’d be a Frame War.

Jaune: I’d be frightened if they were clingy and obsessive yanderes. Or else it’d be a Claim War.

Yang: But an argument between folks who’re boring would definitely be a Lame War.

*Jaune falls to the floor, clutching his body in pain, and blood coming out of the mouth and nose*

Nora (counting down): One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! The Sunny Little Dragon wins the first round!

*The audience cheers, but Yang holds her body in pain*

Yang: Agh...I can still go on!

Nora: Nonsense. We gotta take a five minute break. We’ll be right back, folks!

*5 minutes later...*

Nora (in the center): ROUND TWO!!! ...Is the same as last time, good luck! *Leaves*

Jaune: Allow me to take the first shot this time! *Pulls out a camera and takes a bright photo shot of Yang, accidentally blinding her*

Yang (rubbing her eyes): Agh! *Eyesight comes back* What a dirty shot!

Jaune: At least it wasn’t a dirty pot. *Pulls out a dirty pot*

Yang: You and your sisters sure are a dirty lot.

Jaune: Hey...what’s do you call a polyamory couple that makes fun of everybody? A Polyamockery!

Yang: How does a homosexual horse faunus whinny? “GAAAAAAAY”!!!

Jaune: How does a religious donkey faunus preach? “Now, let us BRAY!”

Nora (walks back in): Halt! Let me rephrase that: Did I say more puns? What I actually meant to say is...PICK-UP LINES!!!

*The audience starts “ooh!” and “ah!”ing*

Nora (walks off): Good luck!

Yang (grinning): Alrighty then! *Ahem* Are you religious? ‘Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers!

Jaune (smiling): Was your dad a boxer? ‘Cause goddamn! You’re a knockout!

*Tai snickers at that line*

*Yang and Jaune start feeling the pain inflicted upon their bodies*

Yang: You owe me a drink! ‘Cause when I looked at you, I dropped mine!

Jaune: I felt a little off today, but when you appeared, you definitely turned me on.

Yang: Is there an airport nearby? ‘Cause I feel my heart taking off!

Jaune: That’s too bad. I was wondering if you had an extra heart, ‘cause mine was just stolen.

Yang: Can I follow you everywhere you go? ‘Cause my dad always told me to follow my dreams!

Jaune: I’m cute, and you’re pretty! And together, we’d be pretty cute!

*Yang falls to her knees*

Yang: Gah! Rgh... *looks up at Jaune* ...I know this is gonna sound cheesy, but...I think you’re the gratest.

Jaune: I’ve heard of a new disease called beauty, and I believe you’re infected!

Yang (gritting her teeth): If...if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.

Jaune: Did you just come out of the oven, ‘cause damn, you’re hot!

*Yang hits the ground, with blood coming out of her ears*

Nora (counting down): One, Two, *deep breath* ThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTen! Human Jackham- err, Rabbit, wins the second round!

Jaune (falls to his knees): Agh...things are getting intense now...

Nora: We’ll be right back in ten minutes this time!

*10 minutes later...*

Nora: Now...for the FINAL ROUND!!! ...No puns, no pick-up lines...this time...it’s YO MAMA JOKES!!!

*The audience leans theirs head in with anticipation*

Yang: Hold on... *looks to Jaune* ...Which mama will you be making fun of?

Jaune: The alive one. The one you hate.

Yang (glaring at him): Good. *Turns to Mama Arc in the audience with a smile* Just so you know that I love you and don’t take my yo mama jokes against you so seriously!

Mama Arc (giggling): I promise!

Nora: GOOD LUCK!!! *Runs off*

Yang: You go first, or shall I?

Jaune: You, but first, I think we should kick it up a notch... *Activates his semblance and starts to glow*

Yang (eyes widened): Ooh! I agree, bunny boy! *Activates her semblance, eyes turn red, and hair glows bright*

*The audience gasps at this sight, with Penny analyzing their power*

Ruby: Penny! What does your sensors say about their power levels?!

Penny (eyes widened): Friend Ruby! It’s...

Ruby: It’s...?

Penny: It’s over...

Ruby: It’s over...?

Penny: It’s over- *Starts to malfunction* Overoveroveroveroveroveroveroverererererererererererererererer- *Steam pops out of her ears*

Tai (surprised): Whoa! Ruby, is your friend okay?

Ruby (shaking Penny): Penny? Penny? Hey! Penny!

Penny (eyes go static): Penny.EXE has stopped working. Please wait until she reboots.

Ruby (sighing): Okay, good. I scared for a moment there...that she was gonna explode or something...

Yang (clearing her throat): Yo mama’s so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it!

Jaune (clearing his throat): Yo mama’s so poor, she went flying after a garbage truck with a grocery list!

Yang: Yo mama’s so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an “A” in lunch!

Jaune: Yo mama’s so ugly, she makes the blind go crippled!

Yang: Yo mama’s so fat, when she pressed the “UP” button on the elevator, it went down!

Jaune: Yo mama’s ugly, she’s the reason why they have to turn off the lights in a movie theater!

Yang: Yo mama’s so fat, that when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet!

Jaune: Yo mama’s so stupid, she stuck a scroll up her butt and said she was making a booty call!

*The audience starts getting pushed back*

Ren: W-Whoa!

Velvet: Are you feeling that?

Sun: Did it just get windy all of a sudden?

Blake: Huh, looks like I wasn’t the only one who noticed that.

Winter (to Qrow): Wow. Stiff competition.

Qrow (to Winter): Competition’s not the only thing that can get stiff. *Chuckles*

*Winter’s face turns red, then glares at Qrow*

Penny (shaking her head): Ah! Apologies! I needed to reboot, friend Ruby. Because friend Jaune and friend Yang’s power levels are “off the roof” as humans say!

Ruby (in awe): Wow!

*Back to the fight*

Yang: Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money!

Jaune: Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

Yang: Yo mama so loose, she gives birth faster than a rabbit faunus!

Jaune: Yo mama so dumb, since she can transform into a bird, she thought having sex on a broken tree branch with yo daddy was a good idea!

Yang: Yo mama’s like a nursery, if possible, she can hold a human-shaped yoga ball-sized stomach of babies!

Jaune: Yo mama’s so creative, when she turns into a bird, she can go to the bathroom anywhere she wants!

Yang: Yo mama so creative, she put on hen costume, built a nest, shoved hard-boiled eggs up her upstairs, and began laying them!

Jaune: Yo mama so fat, even if I amp you up, you can’t pick her up!

Yang: Yo mama’s so awesome...!

*Jaune, Mama Arc, and the entire audience’s eyes widened upon hearing this*

Yang (smiling): ...She gave birth to an awesome son.

*Jaune doesn’t say anything, but starts blushing like mad*

Mama Arc (blushing): Oh~!

*Papa Arc chuckles and sheds a tear*

*Ren and Pyrrha smile hearing this*

Yang (smiling): Hehehe...you can’t say anything against that, can you?

Jaune (shaking his head): Actually, I can!

Yang (confused): Oh?

Jaune (taking a deep breath): Your mother...is so stupid, so dumb...

*Yang falls back, looking up at Jaune*

Jaune: So ignorant, so dense, dull, moronic, idiotic, foolish, imbecilic, halfwitted, mindless, unintelligent, reckless, thoughtless, dimwitted, naive, and dead in the fucking brain...! *Holds out his hand towards her*

Yang: ...Huh?

Jaune (smiles): ...She abandoned such an awesome family...an awesome daughter...an awesome father...for the sake of a stupid tribe that everyone hates.

*Yang’s eyes widened*

Ruby (sobbing): Ooohhhh! *Cries into Penny’s chest*

Penny (shocked): Friend Ruby! Is something alright?

*Tai chuckles from hearing this, but also sheds a tear*

*Weiss and Blake smile hearing this*

Yang (grabbing his hand): Oh...Jaune...! *Gets pulled off of the ground and places her face into Jaune’s chest, wrapping her arms around him* ...Don’t ever leave me...I don’t...I don’t want to be abandoned again... *starts crying*

Jaune (hugging her): No one knows what the future holds, Yang.

*Yang looks up at him, her eyes are still red*

Jaune (smiling): But don’t get the wrong idea. I promise I won’t leave you.

*Yang smiles, her eyes turn lilac, then kisses him firmly on the lips*

*The audience starts “aww”ing at the couple*

Nora (sniffling): L-L-Ladies...and G-Gentlemen...I-I don’t what to say about this... *sniff* ...It’s a draw! Both of these two are winners! Both the Rabbit and Dragon win!

*The audience stays silent for a second, then starts clapping*

Jaune (stops kissing): Shall we, my Dragon Queen?

Yang (giggling): Hmhmhm~! Take me, my Bunny Knight!

*Jaune picks up Yang bridal carry-style, then runs out of the stadium*

*Meanwhile, at the Branwen tribe...*

*Raven is just minding her own business, then suddenly, she feels a nerve in her head*

Raven (clutches her head angrily): ...Motherfucker.

Vernal: Is something wrong, Raven?

Raven: I don’t know why, but...I just had the painful feeling that someone, somewhere, some smart mouthed little shit unleashed a series of insults upon me.

Vernal: Oh...we should hunt this person down?

Raven (shaking her head): Nah, forget it. I couldn’t care less what everybody says or thinks about me.

Vernal: Okay...

Raven (internally): But I do want to find out who this person is...

*Meanwhile at Beacon...*

*Jaune, who’s carrying Yang, barges into Team JNPR’s room*

Jaune (putting Yang down): That was quite a workout.

Yang (laying down on his bed): Thanks for the ride, ladykiller.

Jaune (attempts to take off his costume): Rgh...Might as well...take off...these stupid outfi-

*RIIIIIIIP!*

*Jaune’s eyes widened, then looks at Yang, who ripped and made a hole in a certain area on her costume, then looks at Jaune with bedroom eyes*

Yang: Who said we were taking these off? C’mere, bunny boy.

*Jaune walks over to Yang*

*RIIIIIIIP!*

*Yang rips a hole in a certain area in Jaune’s costume, then his...”sword” bounces out into the open*

Jaune (blushing): Ahh...

Yang (spreading her legs): Ladykiller...hmhmhm~...make like a rabbit...and do me like one.

*Jaune’s face turns more red, but then he smiles, and obliges*

[jaunes-erotic-world]

Cure for Kitty

(A new Chapter in the Ebony Reznor story)

Ebony was nervous, Sakura and Carli held her hands smiling and calming her down as Jaune, Ruby, and Weiss looked over at them smiling. This was a big day they met someone recently who was able to get them the rest of the information they needed. Yes, today Jace and Ebony Reznor would have the dust in their bodies partially removed and the rest treated as to prevent to crystallization process.

They had made it to the lab the surgery would take place. When they got there, they were greeted by a man and a woman, who was holding a baby. Ebony rushed forward and wrapped her arms around them tightly “Mama, Papa, Genesis you’re here!” She was as happy and nervous as someone could be as were they this was a huge moment for her and her family.

The three had a short conversation before the two parents saw the man their daughter loved and who helped this all occurred, Jaune Arc. Alyss gave Ebony her baby brother and the two rushed to the boy and swept him up into a loving bone crushing hug. “It is so great seeing you Jaune this day is finally here. We can never thank you enough for all of this,” Jace said as his wife cried into the knight’s back.

“Honestly it’s no problem I’m really happy I was able to help make this happen,” Jaune said trying to breath.

“Calm down you two,” Carli said to her Aunt and Uncle. “You’re gonna kill your cute little savior if you don’t ease up.”

“Sorry son we were just so happy to see you and probably thank you,” Jace said embarrassed.

The parents went to talk to their niece while Ruby and Sakura went to check on Jaune. Weiss had made her way inside already to get things set up. The there was a cute squeak of a yell, “Genny stop there is no milk in there,” Ebony said as her brother tried to feed from her. Everyone laughed and Alyss went take Genesis back then the two parents got aquatinted with everyone else.

Jaune went over to his Pretty Kitty and wrapped his arm around her waist, “Nervous?” He asked.

“Yea I keep thinking what if something goes wrong, what if I don’t make it or dad doesn’t or…��� her words of worry were stopped by Jaune’s lips on hers.

He broke the kiss after a few seconds and he told her what he was told when he was scared and unsure, “Nope.”

“But what i-”

“Nope”

Ebony tried to open her mouth to say something else when she was met with another Nope.

“I have faith in you, your dad, the info we got, and the surgeons, you’ll be fine,” he smiled and then pressed her nose with his finger, “Boop.”

Ebony giggled and pulled Jaune into her own tight hug and nuzzled into his shoulder. “I love you so much master.” The two heard laughing as they realized they had an audience. The two lovers turned red and looked away.

Then Weiss came out with a man in a white, “Mr. Jace Reznor Miss Ebony Reznor if you are ready it is time,” the man said

Ebony’s parents hugged one another before Jace leaned in and said to Alyss and said, “I’ll be out soon and this nightmare will finally be over,” he kissed his wife, “I love you, Pretty Kitty.”

“I love you, too,” she said putting her forehead to his chest.

Jace wiggled his finger playfully in front of his son’s face, “Papa will be back in a bit.”

  Sakura had tears in her eyes and was shaking holding her hand, “Ebby it’s gonna happen it’s really gonna happen I-I *sniff* waaaahhh,” she buried her face in Ebony’s chest while the cat girl hugged her.

Ruby gave her trademark warm smile and Weiss gave a reassuring one.

Carli swatted her cousin on the rear and said, “Kick some ass in there cuz.”

Ebony locked eyes with Jaune once more and pressed her lips against his. The two kissed over and over the passion admittedly made them both the smallest bit hard. They broke it off when the doctor coughed. When the strand of saliva broke the two pressed foreheads and said at the same time, “”I love you, see you in a bit.”” And with that the father and daughter walked off following the doctor to prep for the procedure.

The two were put on tables and hooked up to IVs, blood bags, and a device that resembled a dialysis machine. The IVs were filled with solution to break down the heavy dust clumps and build up in their blood streams, then the machine would clean their blood a put it back in and the bags were to add the new blood that would be taken away with the dust but also wasn’t able to exist/flow properly because of the dust build up. There was more to the procedure but this was the basics around it. The two were nervous but like Jaune said they had faith in the scientist, doctors, and most importantly Jaune that things would work out fine.

Outside the operating room, the girls were trying to calm down the panic attacking Sakura. Jaune was sat by himself looking at the floor until he felt someone sit beside him. Looking up he saw Alyss’ smiling face, “How are you dear,” she said.

“Fine just a bit on edge, I’m sure you can relate,” he said with a weak nervous chuckle.

She giggled, “I do but I know that everything will work out. A mother knows these kinds of things.” She giggled some rocking and bouncing Genesis in here arms.

Jaune smiled at her, her words, laugh and calming presence made him feel bit more relaxed like being with his own mother, “Thank you Mrs. Rez-,” he stopped seeing wagged her finger ‘No, No” and corrected himself with what she wanted him to call her, “Thanks Mom you really made me feel more relaxed.”

“It’s no problem dear, Mommy will always be there when you need her,” she said her hand on his thigh. He blushed then shook his head obviously reading too much into the gesture.

He then felt himself being watched by a single tiny eye. His godchild/ ‘brother’ was looking at him curiously. When Jaune looked down at him and smiled, “Hey there little guy.” The small faunus then looked away and curled into his mother’s chest.

“Sorry Jaune he’s just shy. Come on now sweetie no need to be scared,” she cooed. “He’s just like his big sister, so why not try and scritch scritch his wittle earsys,” she said in baby talk holding out him just a bit.

As Jaune moved his hand over Genesis began to shake, squirm, and flatten his ears all the while making scared sounds but as soon as Jaune started to move his finger nail gently as possible behind his ear the shaking stopped. As it continued the baby became relaxed and giggled. Soon enough Jaune was holding him as Genesis tried to grab the finger Jaune was wiggling in his face. Alyss smiled at the sight imagining how her grandbabies would look like.

About an hour passed and Genesis had just gotten used to all of the girls, it happened. The light above the treatment room turned off. The Doctor came out and took off his mask revealing a warm smile. Tears of joy welled up in everyone’s eyes. The doctor stepped off to the side and Jace walked out and Alyss rushed to him Genesis in her arms. The man hugged his wife and son kissing her as well.

Then an 8ft tall, cat faunus walked out her face a bit pink, her one pure black hair now had silver white tips like Ruby’s red ones, her ears had a few bits as well and so was the tip of her tail, but the most eye-catching bit was of the long streak of the silver white down it.

Smiling tears in her eyes, “Dig the new look cuz,” Carli said.

No one could hold back any longer everyone rushed her hugging and kissing her during which she began to squirm a bit. They all stopped and looked at her in concern but she assuaged their concerns, “Don’t worry, my breasts are just feeling a bit sensitive.” Naturally Carli poked her nipples causing her to moan.

The doctor went over the usual spiel about if anything abnormal happening let them know but Ebony and Alyss were more interested in rubbing their rears into their lover’s lap. The Reznor’s were hugging everyone as tight as possible tears flowing and the giggling of a confused but happy baby filled the halls of the Altesian hospital. Carli took her baby cousin from her aunt knowing what was about to come. “Good luck you two they seem friskier than they do during heat,’ she said to her uncle and her boyfriend.

She was indeed right and Alyss pulled her husband into an empty room. While Ebony picked up Jaune bridal style and ran to find a room for themselves not even wanting to wait until they got to Weiss’ place. The next few hours in a mile radius around the hospital you could Nyaahs of pleasure.   

(Tomorrow a short follow up will be written to discuss other things that happened to Ebony’s body besides her hair. Dont worry they are all good)

[howlingday]

au where papa arc saved nora and ren's village from the nukalavee and as a result nora and ren never met. papa arc finding out that her mother is aweful takes nora back with him.

she was meant to be a new sister for jaune but nora decided she was gonna be his wife instead.

this can in no way go wrong and won't lead to a super buff jaune with a short stack wife showing up to beacon.

....

defiantly

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Nicholas Arc roared as he split the Nuckelavee in twain from chest to rear. He huffed as he and his team momentarily relaxed, as this was the last, and fittingly most annoying Grimm that invaded. He sighed as he sheathed his sword. "Everyone alright?"

"Seems to me we're all that's left!" Luz said, her chesnut eyes sparkling and seeking approval.

"Tact, Cafe." Gelb chided, his burly, blonde moustache hiding his scowl. "It costs nothing."

"Glad to hear you two are well enough to argue." He looked to the short, blonde woman with her nose pointed to the air as her eyes were closed. "V? Are you alright?"

The woman perked her ears at her name being called, then looked to her team leader. She had an uncomfortable look on her face as she spoke. "There's a lot of dead people here. Thankfully, I think the town will recover, given time. But-"

"The fact we couldn't get here sooner is upsetting, right?"

She scowled and looked down. "I'm upset because it took too long to get here in time because of some small thunderclouds."

"Coming from you, that's funny!" Luz chuckled, "You should be the poster-girl for 'size doesn't matter', Victoria!"

Victoria growled at Luz' attempt at humor. Gelb chastised her again. Nicholas sighed and smiled. "I'll take that as a yes, then." He heard the sound of wood falling. He followed it with eyes, finding a heavily damaged house. He hummed to himself as he stepped closer, hand on his pommel. As he got closer, he heard whimpering. He relaxed as he crouched to the ground, peering to under the dilapidated porch. "Oh? And who might you be?"

Under the porch was a girl with red-orange hair and sky-blue eyes, the former covered in dust and the latter red and tear-stained. She scooted further away.

"It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you." Nicholas sat down with his legs crossed. "My name is Nicholas. My friends call me Nick. I'm in mid-30s with a beautiful wife and seven kids. My youngest is only a few months old and my oldest is in her teens."

The girl blinked at the the dumping of information. "N-Nora." She crawled forward.

"Nora? Is that your name?" The girl stopped just before the exit. She nodded. Nicholas smiled wide. "That's a very pretty name. Where are your mommy and daddy?"

Nora's eyes teared up. "I-I don't know. Mommy ran. She didn't stop."

Nicholas' heart sank. He had heard stories of parents abandoning their children to the Grimm, but to hear it be done so recently. He carefully extended his hand, making sure not to spook Nora. "Well, we won't abandon you."

Nora hesitantly took Nicholas' hand and stepped out. He stood up and walked to his team. Nora had never met Huntsmen before, so she hid behind Nicholas' leg. She stayed by their side until it was time for them to return home.

"Kids! Your father's home!" Jaune eyes grew wider, outsized only by his smile. He and his sisters rushed out the door to run to their father, his mom, youngest sister, and oldest sister were the only ones who stayed at the house. The twins had already grabbed his legs, while his sportier sister leapt into his chest and his smarter sister gripped his pants as she waited her turn. Saphron was trying to pull one of the twins off so she could have a turn.

Jaune simply stood there and waited his turn. It was routine at this point. Dad leaves, Dad comes home, his sisters maul Dad, he gets what's left.

As the car left that carried his father, he noticed they left someone else behind, too. There was a girl, about as old as he was, standing there holding a pink backpack. Jaune walked up to her, and his mother immediately noticed.

"Nick!" She called out. "Who is that?"

"Oh, I almost forgot!" He climbed to his feet and gestured to Nora. "Kids, this is Nora. She's going to be staying with us for a while."

All eyes were on Nora. She blushed and hid her face by looking down. Jaune held out his hand and smiled. "I'm Jaune! Jaune Arc!"

"Jaune." Nora repeated. "Jaune. Jaune."

"Y-Yeah, my name is Jaune." Jaune, as in, Jaune was starting to be weirded out by this girl.

"Jaune!" The girl took his hand and nodded, leading him back to his father. He wanted to pull free, but she was stronger than she looked. He felt so embarrassed to be outmuscled by a girl! She held up their joined hands to his father, his mother and two sisters having now joined Nicholas. "Jaune!"

Nicholas chuckled. "Yes, that's Jaune, my son. Is he going to be your brother?"

"Uh-uh." Nora shook her head. She finally let go of his hand and hugged him. "Jaune, husband!"

Nicholas and his wife roared in laughter as his sisters squealed and cooed. Jaune was so red-faced embarrassed, he couldn't look anyone in the eyes.

"Kids! Dinner!" Isabella Arc called to her children. The children walked to the table, a long dining table of sturdy wood, large enough to sit at least twelve people. They would sit in their usual spots; the twins would sit across from each other, her oldest would sit at the foot of the table, sided by her tomboyish and brainy sisters, Jaune and Saphron would sit across from one another, he next to his mother and her next her father, with Nicholas at the head sided by herself and their youngest. The only difference tonight, however, was the introduction of Nora.

She and Nicholas had already discussed the introduction. Her introduction to him, her abandonment, and his hasty decision to house her.

The girl needed a home, and she was more than willing to house her, but the fact her husband did this without her knowing was a serious offense to her. She didn't know this girl, if she has any illnesses, any special Faunus needs, allergies, injuries, anything! The only thing she did know was that she took a liking to Jaune.

And the poor boy was so quiet since her declaration. It was funny at first, but she hadn't left his side since their introduction. She followed him everywhere, including the bathroom! She was worried he might be uncomfortable with Nora so close all the time.

She sighed as she enter the dining room, seeing empty plates and hungry faces. She put on a smile and began serving, putting food on Nicholas' plate first, and moved from child to to child down until she returned to her seat and served herself. Perhaps dinner will be quiet tonight.

Nora had never eaten so much food in her whole life! She emptied every pot and pan until there were barely any scraps left. She giggled as she felt how fully her belly felt. She climbed into bed that night excited for tomorrow. She didn't think she'd ever fall asleep!

Jaune walked into his bedroom and found Nora sleeping in his bed. He sighed as he climbed in. He kept his distance from her as she snored on her side. He scowled as he tried to sleep. It was only when the snoring stopped that he was able to get some sleep.

Until the whimpering started. Jaune looked over and saw Nora curled into a ball, face scrunched in pain. "Mommy..." She murmured. "Where are you?"

Jaune felt horrible. She missed her mommy, and she wasn't here for her. Jaune remembered the one rule in his house he always took to heart, 'If it cries, Love it!' He hugged her from behind and stroked her hair, whispering shushed and repeating, "It's okay."

Nora calmed down, turning to face Jaune and snuggling into him. He smiled and cuddled up to her. He felt good. He helped someone in need, just like his did. He felt so proud of himself. Nothing could ruin his dreams tonight.

Until Nora started snoring again.