#paolini what have you done

[du-sailarar-nerilia]

Probably a hot take but Paolini kinda effed up with that world map

Aside from people from Surda and Hadarac, most people of Alagaësia are basically Knockoff Europeans and many are described as pale-skinned. And as we know, pale skin is something that evolved under pressure of cold European climate. And Alagaësia very much does have that cold, sort of European climate around the Palancar Valley and along The Spine.

But the problem is that humans aren't native to Alagaësia! So where do they come from!

What the hell!

-Mist

[saint--claire]

When I was a little child, there was a particular library book I checked out week after week, endlessly renewing it as much as I was able. The book, How to Raise and Keep a Dragon by John Topsell was a quasi-nonfiction guide to, as you guessed, rearing different species of dragons. I loved it. Tiny-me had plans.

As an adult, I tried to buy it a few times. No dice. The book was so old that no mainstream bookseller stocked it. Even when I tried niche websites recommended by various booksellers and librarians, I still couldn't find it. It was sadly lost to time, apparently not popular enough to make it into the archives.

But.

My best friend had a copy of that book. We're going to call her G, for several reasons not relevant at the moment. I was discussing my search with G one day, for some reason I can't remember now. She got a funny look on her face, asked me a few questions about the cover, listened to me do a very poor job of explaining with my hands how the hardcover copy had included a real gemstone in the dragon's forehead, and then went off to fish it out of her bookcase.

I was Gobsmacked.

I should not have been, given that the history of shared childhood books between us both would have made a circle with ragged edges, more so than a venn diagram, but I digress. The book came home to live in my house for a few months, and I was delighted by the chance to read it again.

Do people remember those type of books? Dragonology, Egyptology, The Stone Age - a way of introducing children to non fiction. They very earnestly spoke about the responsibilities needed to raise dragons, the practicalities involved. There was a record of registration you could fill out, if you had carefully considered the information to your self and felt you were responsible enough to to go through with adopting a dragon.

I vaguely remember filling out some of the riddle and puzzle questions in the Dragonology books. I would never have written in John Topsell's book, it was a library book.

But.

When I re-read G's copy at home, smiling over the familiar artwork, I was surprised to turn the page and find the painstaking, somewhat-wonky handwriting staring back at at me. Baby G, with her name spelled out in freshly-joined but still-not-quite-got-the-hang-of-this-yet cursive lettering. Baby G had filled the registration out in her best handwriting, in glittery green gel pen to denote the importance of the document. This was compared to the earlier, less important checklists done in plain black ink.

I read the registration certificate. Smiled. Smiled some more at the names listed for G's dragon, her dam, and her sire - Eragon was also a great book. Go off, Christopher Paolini.

Breed; standard Western Dragon. The box 'miniture' was ticked, to show that G's dragon was of the minature specic variety, rather than a full size dragon. This was, as she would later explain to me, chosen on the basis that baby-G felt it was the more financially responsible choice. Also so she could keep her dragon in her house with her, but we're not there yet.

I looked at that certificate. Looked at it again. Looked at the calendar, and then looked at the sewing machine I had just been given for Christmas.

G celebrates her birthday in January.

The template came first. I studied the different images of the standard western dragon through the book, picked my favourite, and re-drew it to a significantly larger scale.

Inking the design to the fabric, four times over probably took the longest.

I very subtly asked G the next time she was over (after hurling all dragon-related materials in a panic into the depths of my wardrobe) what type of colour dragon she would have, should it come up. As G later said, that type of question from me truly did not register as anything other than a question asked from theoretical interest. I transitioned the topic as discreetly as I could after she answered, and delightfully, my sneakiness went in one ear, out the other, and she forgot I had ever asked until several weeks later.

I enjoyed painting them.

Don't ask me how many mistakes I made through this process. So many. I do already know how to sew, but it's been a long time. I'd been meaning to get back into it for a while.

Given that various aunts and grandmothers and my mother had a knack for calling when I was up to my elbows in either paint or pins, it became a family affair. Each of them peered at the project through face time and offered their advice.

Some of the advice I took, some I didn't. No regrets about sewing it in pink thread. Considerable regrets about accidentally slicing one of the feet in half and having to fix that.

In the end though, she was finished.

I carefully pinned on her name tag, with the name baby-G had chosen with a little blue ribbon. A collar was unacceptable, this is a dragon, people, come on. Dragon's don't wear collars.

I put the book in the box, open to the registration certificate, and put the dragon on top. Wrapped the whole thing up with a bow and then refused to touch it before I sent myself mad trying to fix details that didn't really need to be fixed.

A bit late for her birthday, sure, but there we are. We'd gone for a trip off to nowhere for a weekend, to go try wine made out of blueberries and hike up a waterfall. (And climb on it. And swim in it. It was a very good waterfall).

I gave her the box, informed her she wasn't allowed to keep the box, just the contents (it was the only thing I had that was big enough for me to keep all of my A3 portfolios in, it had only been temporarily-repurposed as dragon housing), and then left the next bit up to the gods.

A surprise, sitting un-awaited for some 15 years in amber, to catch up to baby G and adult G together.

Happy Birthday, baby and adult G.

[magicandmundane]

Hey now @delicatebluebirdruins don’t leave this comedic genius in the tags!

This honestly might be the only way I’d accept them as a ship: a chaotic duo doing their level best to piss off the snotty elves.

I'm just wondering if people would still ship Eragon x Arya so much if their genders were reversed

[literaticat]

I've noticed some book covers recently have AI art included in them. Why does it feel like publishing is giving less effort to ensure AI art is not being used? What can other authors do to ensure AI art is not being used for their covers?

I have seen a couple of controversies about this -- one, a Sarah J Maas cover, one a Christopher Paolini cover.

On the one hand, the fact is that MANY covers are made using at least in part stock images -- artists and photographers upload their images to the stock site, the publisher pays whatever licensing fees and uses the image/photo/whatever as part of the design. This is totally normal.

In these two cases, at least, it looks like these images were obtained from stock image sites. I can see a designer searching the stock sites for images (just like they have for years and years), seeing a dope-looking wolf or spaceman or whatever that somebody uploaded, and being like, "cool image!" and paying the fee and using it, just as they have done a thousand times before, and not even thinking anything of it. Which like -- is a LITTLE less scary to me than the publisher, idk, firing the designers and then just having some intern go on an AI bot and say "make me a cover with a wolf on it!"

The problem of course is that (most? all??? much of??) AI-generated "art" is scraping other images/artwork off the internet and, to use the technical term, mish-moshing it, which means that somebody somewhere's intellectual property is being used/altered/god-knows-what, unbeknownst to them. I strongly suspect that, nine or even six months ago or whenever these covers were being designed, the designers and other folks at the publisher didn't even KNOW to be concerned about what was on the stock sites -- like this technology is moving at SUCH a rapid pace, it's head-spinning.

I can tell you what agents are concerned about at the moment, and it's three-pronged:

-- we don't want our authors or artists work to be data-mined / scraped to "train" AI learning models/bots

-- we don't want covers or other imagery created by AI

-- we don't want AI generated narration for audiobooks

Agents are working to get this kind of language into contracts currently -- this is literally one of the top topics at all of our agency meetings, and I'm sure is a top topic at publishers as well. However different publishers are at different stages here -- some are including it, some are still working on the language, etc -- but I suspect/hope that these kinds of clauses will be standard in publishing contracts across the board by the end of the year. (Though of course it might be evolving as the technology evolves.)

[jgroffdaily]

As the last of the families finished smiling and posing for photos with Jonathan Groff and Miss Amie Vanité (drag performer Christopher Paolini) after the second of two story hours at the Lancaster Convention Center Saturday afternoon — in support of Lancaster Pride and the Lancaster Public Library — the two had a few minutes to talk about the day, and Groff, a bit about his Tony Award experience and his career.

This Q&A has been edited for length and clarity.

Jonathan, you’re here doing an event raising money for the Lancaster Public Library, as well as Lancaster Pride. Is there a book you’re reading, or have read recently, that you can recommend?

Miss Amie Vanité: He recommended I read Barbra’s book.

Jonathan Groff: That’s the one. Thank you! I am now over halfway through the audio book of “My Name is Barbra,” the Barbra Streisand memoir. I’ve gotten up to her directing “Yentl.” I was just listening to it yesterday while I was making dinner.

Which library did you go to as a child?

Groff: Lancaster Library and Strasburg Library. And the libraries in my elementary school, Smoketown [Elementary], and middle school. My library teacher was here today! Did you have a school library you went to, Miss Amie?

Miss Amie: I had a school library that I was in all the time. I went to the Reading Public Library and the Wyomissing Public Library.

Groff to Miss Amie: What was your favorite book that you read today [at the story hour]?

Miss Amie: That’s a toss-up between “If You Plant a Seed” [by Kadir Nelson] and “One Equals Many” [by Sonny Dean]. They’re so short, but they’re so poignant and so important.

Jonathan, you have been involved in Pride events in bigger cities. You were the grand marshal of the New York City Pride Parade (in 2014). This is your first event for Lancaster Pride ... .

Groff: This means more to me than anything I’ve ever done, at any Pride event. To be back in Lancaster, to be sitting next to Miss Amie. This combination of celebrating Pride and being in my hometown is unparalleled. It’s incredible.

Miss Amie: I was so blown away and excited that you wanted to come and do this and be a part of us here. It means the world.

Groff: To me, too.

Jonathan, a lot of the interviews you did with national media, leading up to the Tony Awards, seemed very introspective. You talked a lot about the 20 years since you moved to New York, and how your career has evolved since then. What did you learn from that?

Groff: It’s part of why I’m here right now. That opportunity of “Merrily [We Roll Along],” for the actors and the characters and also for the audience, was to really become introspective and look back on your life — things that worked out, things that didn’t work out, regrets, mistakes you’ve made, and when I read about what had happened in March with Miss Amie [the cancellation of the library story time and threats received], I was in the middle of the “Merrily” run. And I can’t believe I’ve done all of these gay events and I’ve never gone to my hometown. I’ve gone home to celebrate the theater, and the theaters I’ve worked at, but I’ve never gone purely for Pride. So, when this happened, and I was receiving these articles that my friends from home were sending me, it felt like such an obvious invitation to pick up the phone and call Lancaster Pride and Miss Amie, and make good on what happened in March.

Can you talk at all about what’s next for you, professionally? It was reported in Deadline and elsewhere that you were performing in an industry reading last month, of a musical about [1960s pop star and activist] Bobby Darin, called “Just In Time” [with the possibility of it being developed for Broadway. Groff had performed a Bobby Darin concert at New York’s 92nd Street Y in 2018].

Groff: Yes. We did that, and it went great. And it was really fun, and we’ll see what happens.

Has the type or volume of the [job] offers that you get changed since winning the Tony Award?

Groff: Yes. It’s more emails, more texts. It’s amazing.

I put Lancaster in the first sentence of my [Tony acceptance] speech because I love this city so much and I love this county so much, and I really prepared what I said in that moment, because I thought, if I get the chance to speak, I want to make sure I’m very intentional about every word that I’m saying. Because I’ve officiated five weddings now, and I started to, at the second and third wedding, comprehend the value of what you say when people are listening. And that goes from that moment, that opportunity I had to speak at the Tonys, all the way to this moment today with Miss Amie. It matters. It matters what we say and what we do, and it’s important to be intentional about those things. I learned that from that experience. And I’m feeling the ripple effects of that even months later

What was going through your mind between the time you heard your name called [as the Tony winner] and the time you got to the stage to make your speech?

Groff: I was really conscious of the people I was embracing. So I remember seeing my mom, my dad, my brother, our director, Maria [Friedman], who had just lost in her category ... and I lifted her up [off her feet]. Saw Dan [Radcliffe, his “Merrily” co-star], and then I remember thinking I have to get this out as fast as possible, because I have, I think, 45 seconds, and I wanted to say what’s in my heart. So that was the big goal.

Anything else you’re working on that you can talk about?

Groff: Unfortunately, I can’t. But when I can, I’ll let you know.

Is there any category of entertainment job — writing, directing, Shakespeare, a superhero film — that you’re especially anxious to explore?

Groff: I’m open to everything. Today it’s story time with Miss Amie.

[briar-rolfes-research-oubliette]

ON MONDAY, I (FINALLY) MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NEWEST ERAGON BOOK!

MURTAGH

“A Book I Read”

It took three very patient friends of mine to encourage me to finish reading this. I took notes the whole way through, and I am now sharing those in hope of finding loving community with my fellow haters.

Important context:

I loved Eragon, which came out when I was roughly eleven

Christopher Paolini was the first author to ever disappoint me

I used to love epic fantasy, until feminism, coming out, and learning about literary criticism made me just too mean to enjoy it

Since 2015, whenever I’ve had writer’s block, I’ve found inspiration by looking at this screenshot:

Christopher has managed to create a life where his mum has never stopped doing his laundry or his editing for him. He has never worked a job in his life. He has infinite time to work on his craft, and yet, with all of those advantages, he writes the way he does. I don’t hate him, but I do want to destroy him in single combat.

LET US BEGIN.

17 November 2023

I forgot how obsessed this man is with proving he knows rare words. Picking up my phone to google the word “trenchant”.

He really just didn’t want to say the dragon had a sharp sense of humour huh? Oh, no, it’s TRENCHANT. It wasn’t even for dialogue I identified as comedy but Murtagh thought it was TRENCHANT. He and Thorn have been alone in the wilderness for too long

NOT NASUADA BEING DESCRIBED AS HAVING ALMOND EYES

Of course the protagonist has grown a beard. He’s A Man Now.

I have a theory that this book is about coming to terms with marriage. Murtagh is like “our bond… our bond that lasts until death… the oldest magic… only the two of us understand each other. But, we’re also trapped with each other,” and I’m like hm. Fascinating. Say more

Instantly Murt befriends a child, to prove he is good really.

It’s so weird to read a book by a grown man with kids who is like “how did we all start out so innocent and pure…” like have you MET five year olds

This whole fork fight scene makes me feel second hand embarrassment deep in my soul. It’s SO This Guy Is The Best And Coolest

“Fencing with effortless ease” I do not care how well trained he is: you cannot kill four men with long swords by stabbing them with a little fork in “four hard impacts.” It’s just not happening.

I’m really dwelling on the idea of magic as “imposing your will�� on something. It’s very.., something. Murtagh cleans his shirt by “imposing his will on the garment” like. Okay, I suppose in a way that is how all laundry is done, but it’s. Hm.

How come he’ll clean a shirt with magic but not shave with magic? Why are these books SO obsessed with beards and shaving and how to do shave and using magic for shaving etc etc, Eragon was also majorly preoccupied with this

Paolini’s got so many complexes on the page. All the “we’re half brothers and your dad killed my dad” stuff is A LOT

The naming stuff… SMH what would Ursula Le Guin say about all this

I’m obsessed with how even as (gasp) an OUTCAST!! Murtagh can’t not be the coolest guy ever for any time at all. It’s like a disease

Giving the child the enchanted killing fork was the worst decision ever made. Murtagh gives her a murder weapon and is then moping like “what’s it like… to live without killing…” literally pages later.

I’m really startled that Murt is delighted to see a tiny flying magical grass boat come down from the sky and circle him instead of being like “wtf, I’m being Watched,” which would be the true act of a man we are told is paranoid

I just got to the bit where Murtagh offhandedly says that magic users who “are the heaviest” always have the most spell reserves.

Like……… what???? Magic eats your fat?? It burns glucose??

You could be a better mage if you just, ate a bunch of raspberry frogs before each fight??????

It’s food powered??? You really want to go there, Paolini????? Wizards in the candy shop, eating sweeties like Mistborns?

GOD, if only Galbatorix had chugged a bottle of red cordial before his last big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I return after losing my mind about this to my partner for forty minutes)

If it was “if you’re hungry you can’t FOCUS” I’d get it. But I always assumed it was like, you know how other fantasy does it? Some kind of pool of ADDITIONAL energy that you are accessing and that can be used up (until you go too far and start using life force or whatever). Like, it’s CHANNELLING it that makes you tired, not that it’s literal food energy.

Murtagh is always running or doing his sword forms or whatever and now I’m like “DUDE, NO!!!?!? DON’T BURN YOUR WIZARD CALORIES!!?!?”

I like when magic can’t do EVERYTHING, when it’s consistent or limited in some way, but I do hate the idea that it’s this predictable. Food energy becomes raw magical power. I GUESS.

(A little later)

Screaming at the suggestion Thorn can tell when Murtagh is horny.

I don’t like the euphemisms. It makes it worse

The fact he can’t talk to his dragon whenever they’re “too far apart” (distance never specified) is making me insane. Why did I pick up the dragon riding book if it’s mostly about leaving your dragon locked up at the bike rack

I know Thorn is basically a rescue dog with anxiety, but it bothers me how much he’s left on his own. The narrative just has no idea what to use him for other than speedy transport for the first um… 200 pages, it seems? He’s meant to be his own creature with his own intelligence. He doesn’t go anywhere without Murtagh though. So what is he doing all the time

I think Paolini WANTS his world to be big and mysterious (his introduction literally just keeps saying things in the world of the story are mysterious) but he HAS to keep explaining everything

24 November 2023

I’ve figured out something that annoys me about the world of this book, in terms of just how the worldbuilding is not actually that magical. It has the D&D problem!!! Which is to say that every regular person on earth is Level One and every important character is like, level 12. And part of what makes that even worse is that all women in this world are level zero.

I’ve been watching my friend Chris play the first Alan Wake game and we realised that all the faceless enemies that are possessed by Evil in the game are… working class men. The protagonist is this literate wealthy New York writer who is constantly killing faceless workers—farmers, loggers, coal miners, builders. And that’s not an INTENTIONAL commentary by the game, but it’s very revealing. And This book is the same in that: there is no such thing as a complicated poor person. They’re all either Dirty Evil or Dirty Good. Murtagh is going around, writing poetry in his head and inventing magical computer code, and then every child is an urchin who is like Oi Guvnah, and every dad is gruff, and every woman is worried.

The language used to describe everyone who isn’t a Fighting Man is so demeaning. And even then, we only need to respect the leaders of those men. The leaders are the only ones with depth who might need to be taken seriously.

It’s like Murtagh has a tally in his head where he is going “finally, a guy who is level 6”!

Most people in this world exist to deliver information to the protagonist.

Paolini either thinks his readers are too dumb to understand that his characters exist between scenes, or he doesn’t understand himself that we don’t need to see every time Murtagh enters a city under a new name and how he does it. Or know what he ate for dinner and how he prepared it and where he slept and what he dreamed and, and, and—

It’s weird because Paolini is being self indulgent as fuck but it is NOT fun to read. This dude really just needs to go write a survival story or something… A guy in the woods depending on nothing but his wits and his axe and his beard and his libertarian values

I don’t understand the stakes at play. All the magic scenes with Mind Penetration are so sudden and hard to actually understand as action. And the way it works is about brute force, so the dragon is not going to be at risk of being taken over except by another, even bigger dragon

It would be fun to read the Murtagh city sleuth segments if Thorn was backseat driving a little. I think that their bond should not get thinner over distance. The fact that it does just defeats the point of a magical bond.

Why does the dragon have to stay so far away? Like… it’s established that there’s a spell to conceal a dragon from sight. Dude. You could just go fucking invisible

There’s so many decisions that just are so bonkers to have made. The whole fetch quest for information pissed me off so bad. “You have to join the guard” (40 pages of emotions about uniforms ensue). This guy learned about plots from video games

Paolini had kids apparently, but you can tell he doesn’t really understand kids. “How do they all start out so innocent and pure,” says a man who has never heard a seven year old describe someone being killed by farts before.

The description of Murtagh carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried is very funny. I don’t know if Paolini has ever carried a cat before. If you’re carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried close to your chest, and you tighten your grip when it squirms… say goodbye to your nipples, my man

It’s strange how much Paolini doesn’t explore the things that seem to be the point. FOR EXAMPLE, the fantasy soul bond trope loves to say “even during sex!??! 👀” because it’s about INTIMACY, and some alien presence always being there. The dragon rider trope is popular because dragons are powerful and wise but also Beasts. Magic is fun to read about because it can do things that can’t be explained.

Paolini’s world is big, but nothing in it has any real substance. Nothing in it has any real consequence, and it makes it impossible to really invest in anything that happens. None of these poor city folks have a life once they leave the scene of delivering Murtagh information… or if they are a woman, delivering him a hot meal. There’s no sense of a world that exists outside Murtagh’s point of view!

25 November 2023

The towns so far don’t feel at all distinctive to me! I was interested in the one with the massive lake, but then it having this massive fish in it was the only point of interest. It would be fun to have been like “oh the fish has ruined our summer festival! It’s ruined the nobility pleasure cruises! It’s also eating fishermen!” Or “Why do all these fishing boats have huge spikes on the prow? Well,”

Again, these guys are all level one in peasant dirt town. They have no capacity for individual thought and no ability to adapt.

It’s like Paolini doesn’t know what makes people and places in fantasy feel distinct, or have culture. It’s so evident in how much he HASN’T thought about. For example, the bonkers amount of restrictive gender norms that he doesn’t seem AT ALL CONSCIOUS OF? Everyone who died in the war was A Man. No women died in the war. But that hasn’t resulted in any social changes. There aren’t more women doing work, for example, like being fishermen

I remember being thirteen or so and reading the bit in the second book where Arya explains to Eragon that she’s better and stronger than a human woman, because she is an elf, so Eragon doesn’t have to worry about her in battle. I was this kid there like “man, that sucks. I assume he’s coming back to that assumption later,” and… he never did. He still hasn’t. And that sucks

The dragon riders were not THAT long ago, in the world of these books. It makes me wonder—were none of them human women? I always assumed that some were human women, but… did dragons only choose elf men, elf women, and human men? If they chose human women, then even being accepted into a paramilitary dragon force didn’t change gender expectations in the rest of the world. What the fuck. He’s really never thought about this.

Women keep showing up as cunning-mysterious, as humble dirtmothers, or as innocent children. Oh my god I’m just describing maiden mother crone. That’s all he’s capable of.

I just got up to where he rescues the werecat baby (innocent girl child) and settles in to hear the stories of elder werecat (cunning-mysterious)

I noticed the Arya Problem with how Nasuada is described in this book, too. Every woman has to be the best, most capable, most powerful woman ever, to be worth the attention of The Boys. Otherwise they can’t respect her. Only two literal queens can be considered worthy of just two average guys who got pet lizards. Even then, they’re not actual equals.

“She still empathised for me.” Yes, don’t worry, Murtagh, I remember that’s what women are for.

I should note that the reason Nasuada is considered so powerful and so much worthy of his love and is her strength as a person. This is proven in the Eragon books because “she still empathised” with Murtagh whilst he was medieval torturing her. He was medieval torturing her for like… most of a book and that’s how they fell in love. Because she could see in his eyes that this guy torturing her… was Complicated. He didn’t really WANT to be medieval torturing her so she actually felt worse for him than he felt about how he was (and I can’t stress this enough) medieval torturing her

I just can’t imagine that THE QUEEN OF A WHOLE CONTINENT would still prefer the guy who sadly tortured her. He’s her top preference. Out of EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE WORLD

I put the book down until the day before I was meant to have finished the book for book club:

10 March 2024: from page 274 onwards

The evil witch is called BACHEL?????!!?!??!? Fucking BACHEL. Pronounced “buh-SHELL”, the guide at the back says. You changed one letter in Rachel, don’t lie to me Paolini

I got so mad being reminded the evil king Galbatorix was defeated by “Eragon forcing empathy upon him” so that he magically exploded himself out of guilt that I had to put the book down and complain to Charlie for five straight minutes

I guess that’s why Galbatorix made Murtagh torture Nasuada for him. He knew that if he’d done it himself she would have empathised with him too hard and he would’ve exploded himself

Murtagh has never met a single person he has respected. Murtagh is the specialest boy in all the land. Eragon had to leave the country because they were both too special to share a continent

Murtagh decided on where to go and he was immediately surrounded by armed guards who took him to where the plot was

Paolini uses the fucking word “admixed” while discussing EATING A PIE. The flavours admixed in his mouth. Just because you know a word… doesn’t mean it’s a word to deploy about eating a pie

I HATE how the only people strong enough to do the strongest magic are Elves Or Human Riders. It’s fucking magic my guy! Why is it checking your goddamn DNA! Also, hey! Wasn’t it supposed to come down to the strongest wizards being the guys who ate the most for lunch?

In a world of Magic how come every wizard battle ultimately comes down to who is a better Professor X?? I came here for fireballs, not Mind Battles. I don’t care about your Mental Wards

Hahaha Murtagh!!! Get trapdoored, bitch!!!!

Dragon panic attacks: conceptually cool but a bit ?? Like ah… the plot literally comes to scoop him up and carry him away. Yet again something outside of Murtagh makes a decision for him about what to do next

Murtagh’s poetry is going to make me explode myself like Galbatorix in book 4

If there’s something I like about this book so far it’s just the bits where he and Thorn are camping. Not flying, because then Murtagh is using the time to think and that’s horrible. The bits where they make campfires or whatever feel like something is actually happening. A guy and his dragon hanging out

Man. The way this novel is plotted really reminds me that it’s not actually that hard to write a book.

Murtagh goes to the evil village (oh yeah there’s an evil village. It is where Bachel lives. She is evil because she does magic without using the magic language). The village is called:

NAL GORGOTH

But I couldn’t remember this so I kept referring to it in my head by another, more familiar, name

Murtagh is so freaked out by finding a village with architecture that he doesn’t recognise. He’s like “My god!!! Nasuada has to be warned!!!” Ok but about what??? New ways of building pillars???? The art deco movement threatens the land??

Kinda fascinated by how much this village represents a threat to CULTURE. The architecture, the people… Everything about it so far is designed to be A Foreign Threat. The inhabitants are Of All Races (except elves they are too cool too pure etc). The humans have A VARIETY OF SKIN COLOURS, which memorably never happens in Alagaesia, a continent once explicitly described in the Eragon books as only having two (2) black people on it at all (then one died) (the other is Nasuada) (the one who died was her dad)

This guy with a goatee isn’t quite human. He is maybe part urgal and he is so uncomfortable to look at! Mainly he has arms that are a bit too long!! Bachel isn’t a human and also isn’t an elf, and that’s also deeply unsettling.

Bachel also fundamentally represents a threat to THE STRUCTURING POWER OF LANGUAGE, huh??

Bachel is so far the most interesting character in the book!

Bachel has: ALMOND EYES and AMBER SKIN

Murtagh is so upset and confused when Bachel calls him “my son” like… I’m cryign. “But she’s not my mother! I know my mother!!” he thinks, in a panic.

If this was a fantasy novel written twenty to thirty years ago, then the sexual tension between Murtagh and Bachel would be absolutely insane. Alas, this is a world of abstinence, and sexuality is only ever meaningful looks between a queen and the guy who tortured her (it is weird how he keeps caressing Nasuada’s face on the gold coins)

It’s very funny that Bachel has specifically fourteen warriors. The prose keeps telling us that there’s fourteen of them. So you get Murtagh stepping forwards and then sentences like “the fourteen warriors attending Bachel shifted”

She seems like a perfectly normal cult leader to me? Why is she automatically a threat to Nasuada! How come the two of them can’t arrange a toxic political marriage that becomes… something more 😉😉😉

Nothing annoys me more in this book than Murtagh being able to identify specific vintages of wine. It keeps happening and it pisses me off

Bachel is a half elf!!! “It had never occurred to him that such a thing might be possible.” This is truly and absolutely unbelievable to me. Nobody in this world ever has sex

How did it take so long to get to such an objectively cool village!!! Like this is just a cool place!!! Sorry that Nar Nar Goon is evil but like FINALLY something has style

Three thoughts at once:

I’m so bored that Paolini’s mind can’t get more interesting than temple virgins, let alone wearing white to represent ritualistic purity. Like… nobody in this world fucks anyway, why does it matter!

Murtagh should also wear white all the time

Lesbianism doesn’t count as a violation of being temple chosen. Alín is wearing lesbianism

Paolini has never once written a woman who is Normal. He just can’t conceive of it. You can feel how he starts sweating.

Murtagh finally realised it was a cult. What sets it apart as a cult is that the followers appear to be “half-wits” to him

I’m going to detransition to break his fucking neck

Paolini has learned nothing since he had a woman deliver the exact same line in like 2008. The fact that another editor just thumbsed this up. The fact that this is in a book published in 2023. Well, now I’m REALLY embarking on an antagonistic reading: that’s right, I am reading women as capable.

Obsessed with Bachel. She is a girlboss and I’m a feminist xxx

Book is constantly weird about how much she is capable of eating and drinking at her feasts and how it makes her appear swollen and bloated etc etc. Murtagh is so weirded out by this because he feels it is unfeminine… as though she is not a witch and we weren’t told earlier that how much magic you have is directly equal to how much you eat. (Meanwhile he is only picking at his food and eating just enough of it ‘to be polite’ as though this is not making a decision to have less magic than her)

She has so much charisma compared to anyone else in the book. If my choices are her or Murtagh then sign me up boys!!!

Okay but much like how this would’ve been a VERY charged relationship 30 years ago, I’m weirdly disappointed Bachel she isn’t not described as megahot? Like the book keeps telling me about this virginal templemaiden or whatever, because Murtagh is only attracted to women he can rescue. But I’m actually just like… I think this woman is hot. Tell me more about her. It’s wild that this book is written by a guy like Paolini, who told me all about Oromis’ pubic hair in 2008, and who barely thinks women are people. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss her tiddies?

This book could, and should! have started when Murtagh landed his dragon in the evil village of Nar Nar Goon. That’s the point that stuff got actually interesting. Everything before this was literally video game fetch quest logic plotting that earned him the right to fly to Nar Nar Goon.

Boar hunt. More like BORED hunt. And then suddenly there are so many pigs, a comical number of them flying everywhere

This motherfucker using the phrase “the boar was lying athwart him” in a sentence in an action scene????

Murtagh is nearly dead and the boar is lying athwart him?

I’m going back in time and bullying the author at school

RIP Murtagh, trambled to death by 30-50 wild hogs

Oh god every time someone knocks Murtagh out he has a vision or a bad dream or a flashback or whatever and it’s so tiring

“EXISTENCE WAS A TOMB WHEREIN THE SINS OF THE PAST LAID INTERRED???” Do you ever read a sentence that sounds so much like the author is jerking it? “All had been lost, and there before him lay the instrument of their destruction” he is furiously jerking it oh my god. “Destroyer of hope, eater of light” oh, god, he’s still going

…This book is. Weird about mothers

Murtagh flies into a rage because Bachel mercy killed a guy who was dying bc of boar trampling because “I COULD HAVE HEALED HIM!!!!!” And the mercy killing is proof it is a cult. Because doing it Bachel’s way meant the guy was too relaxed and at peace when he died

Paolini’s family were in a cult, as I understand. So it’s kind of weird how much he doesn’t really understand how being in a cult works

I don’t really remember how religion works in this world, but I do remember tuning out of a long boring passage in book 2 or 3 where Eragon learned about all the gods and decided he was an atheist. It’s especially weird to be like “holy shit, an EVIL religion??!” In a book where religion has absolutely never come up before now

Oh my god, Alìn was whipped for being ‘too familiar’ with Murtagh!!! That’s because she’s so pure and a helpless victim girl in all white :’((

In my mind Bachel and Alìn COULD be in a fucked up lesbian relationship with bad BDSM etiquette. Of course Paolini can’t imagine a world where women have enough personality or agency to fall in toxic love with each other. Also even though he has people tied up and strapped down and whipped and being tortured etc in every book don’t think he knows that BDSM like. Exists. Boooooo

Murtagh: killing one guy who is dying of a punctured lung is the ultimate evil!

Also Murtagh: I know an invisibility spell, but to sneak out of my room I am going to suffocate seven men to death

Genuinely upsetting to read those men dying. He made it impossible for air to enter or exit their lungs with a word. Veins popping clawing at faces etc. God, what a way to go. So unnecessarily cruel. Yep, there goes the good guy

The main way the village is evil is that there are unsettling carvings everywhere. Paolini read some Lovecraft, but he did not understand what was up with it. Or maybe he did, because this book did get a lot more weird about Racial Purity once Murtagh arrived in Lovecraft Village

11 March 2024

There’s a bloodstain that “filled Murtagh with the apprehension of evil” and it confused me because these books are so gory. Earlier he killed four men with a fork. But like oh yeah I guess it’s because when Murtagh murders people now it’s bloodless. I guess. His murders are good you see

This chapter is called The Bad Sleep-Well you can tell Paolini thought he was a real genius for this one

Okay but why are there bats… roosting… in a cave… at night. And why is Murtagh worried that red light will risk waking them? Animals cannot see red light?? SOME FARM BOY YOU ARE, PAOLINI

Okay I have to stop nitpicking. I have to restrain myself until my Vyvanse kicks in

“Murtagh felt a sense of not just age but antiquity. Whoever had built the stairs had done so long before Alagaesia had been a settled place. What was it Bachel had said? That the cultists had lived in Nal Gorgoth since before elves were elves... He was starting to think she had told the truth.”

Sorry uhhhh, Alagaesia was settled?? When they talk about The Grey Ones, are they talking about a race PRIOR TO COLONISATION?????????

“He continued forward. Deeper into the womb of the earth. Deeper into the black unknown, seeking, seeking, always seeking a farther shore, every sense razor-sharp and razor-scraped, skin all goosefleshed, cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck and gathering around his belted waist.”

God it’s so overwrought...

He found the well!!

Oh my god. The well is a natural magic hotspot and that means it “wasn’t the sort of thing that the Draumar ought to have dominion over.” It’s a natural resource???

“Not that he would want Du Vrangr Gata to assume control over such an important location either. This was exactly what the Riders had been created for: to oversee and mediate that which could destabilize the land.”

Murtagh is going to bring democracy to the Middle East

He’s too scared to mentally contact his dragon with Bachel around. If he was a proper horse girl he would find a way

Oh Galbatorix BECAME evil because he met Bachel and she manipulated him. Haha oh dear. No, you can’t just come to the conclusion the dragon rider paramilitary force who controls the resources are bad on your own. Not just because they sent you into the mountains when they knew it was dangerous and wanted to find out if you’d be killed up there! No, a manipulation had to have happened

It’s funny to me that the evil ancient witch queen who lives in seclusion in the mountains uses the new name for the city of Uru’baen. Oh no, she knows it as Ilirea. She’s hundreds and hundreds of years old. You know what that is? Evidence of Find And Replace, to me.

Bachel’s eyes are “glowing with fevered ecstasy.” I could make her feel that way. Also. Because, I know about sex

Always with the fucking passing out at the end of the chapter for Christopher James Paolini

NOW Bachel is being described appropriately as a hottie. FINALLY. GOD! It only took Murtagh being mind controlled in his brain but I. I!!! I could see the glorious light of truth!!

“He followed, dumb and wildered.” Well, not as much as that sentence. (You can be bewildered. But can you ever just be wildered????)

The dedication to making Murtagh the most pitiful little meow meow in existence in the Galbatorix flashbacks I’m… what happened to the joys of a guy who is evil because he was convinced or was tricked, not because he was fully brain abused???

The Urgals are racially… uncomfortable. Yellow eyes and Murtagh just straight up saying “how do you speak English”

The evil guys have masks and they put them on and like channel the animals the masks are of and on one hand it’s an idea I THINK is cool but also combined with the everything it really has this “tribal stuff is threatening” vibe all over it

“What do you want, witch?”

“I want you.”

Obsessed with how he’s shackled to a table and there’s still an incredible lack of sexual energy to this scene. This is like a day at the office for both of them.

… oh, but she is wearing claws and claws DOES equal a threat of penetration. Maybe a little sexual? As a treat??

Him being tortured reminds him of torturing Nasuada. Wow, it was their first date!

It’s just like. It’s fucked up imo. She should never kiss you Murtagh!!!

Is anything more boring than a torture scene.

Also, was he not drugged right before this scene? How is he able to mentally evade her and power his wards etc?

I’m mad that when he’s brought fancy foods by Alìn he doesn’t share his food with Ubek the Urgal

Oh my god Ubek tells him a story where the moral is just him outright saying at the end, “it’s important to stay close to the people we care for, even if we don’t always fit in so easily” lmao. Subtlety of a mallet

Is anything more boring than a torture scene? How about a torture chapter!!!1!1!1!

This chapter is interminable. Oh my god.

Oh, so we did all that and he gives in I guess. I can’t believe how little agency this man has had throughout this book????

Haha oh my god, Bachel is studying his nude and compliant body in front of her court. Telling him to turn around so she can inspect his back (no mention of his ass even though it is out, tragic). Fucking love it. Now that’s bdsm. Pledging my allegiance to her instantly.

I am BORED. I liked when he was at least doing things of his own volition!

He flies his dragon off on Bachel’s orders and we get the line “Never had air smelled so… so… delicious.” Cryign

GASP he’s killed… CHILDREN!!!!!!! I hate how it only becomes horrifying for him to have done these murders once he realises they’re HUMAN children. Urgal children? The implication is that would’ve been a bit tacky but ultimately fine

Prison brothers blood pact. I feel so little about this. Ubek is 5000x more interesting than Murtagh but he’s been slotted into what is unfortunately a sort of magical indigenous person trope but where instead of being a human being, he is an orc. Which makes the whole trope much worse

Murtagh touched Alìn’s face… gasp! She’s been corrupted by the Touch Of A Man!!!!! (I do not care about this.)

(I care a little. For example she didn’t touch HIM. He just reached out and she didn’t pull away. This is the biggest decision about this character’s life, and she isn’t even allowed to be the one who makes it. He decides on her behalf, and she must be okay with it. Because she doesn’t pull away or fight him off.)

(Also Paolini doesn’t seem to be aware that ‘a woman who has been pledged not to be touched by a man’ would um. USUALLY be understood by a reader as euphemistic. Not that her purity could be forever ruined by a man literally just touching her face)

The way Paolini fills Murtagh’s brainwashed dialogue with oops all ellipses makes me want to tear the book apart with my teeth

Worst: how Grieve the guy who is part urgal is perpetually referred to as “heavy-browed.” “the heavy-browed Grieve” I’m sorry but I missed phrenology school, is that bad??

Also if he’s maybe part Urgal but Murtagh is now given a chance to making it clear that some of his best friends are urgals... Why is Grieve so distastefully described? What’s wrong with being half urgal? My suspicion: it’s the bloodlines intermingling

I suspect I can just skip every fucking dream sequence and flashback. Nothing of any value in these

This one guy, Lyreth, who trapdoored Murtagh for 2.5 seconds ages ago in the book, is TWICE referenced as holding/ touching the waists of “village” or “cultist” women in his dialogue tags. That’s the full extent of it. It’s not that there’s a giggling tavern girl sprawled in his lap while he’s speaking. These faceless women are exclusively sketched into existence by how a named male character’s hand is on their waist. We don’t know anything about how they are responding to his touch, which is extra in-your-face considering that Murtagh just obliterated a woman’s ritual purity by touching her face without asking. And it’s only ever these women’s waist. It’s not their hips or thighs or boobs. He’s not kissing their necks. I’m sure in Paolini’s mind this guy touching women’s waists is meant to read as sexual, which is supposed to reinforce that he’s a scumbag… but it doesn’t work because it’s so impersonal. These women are just… unmoving waists that he is just touching. It serves as a good illustration of how women—and sex and sexuality and bodies—are handled in these books. Men are never ruled by their strong and muscular bodies. Men have minds, and magic, and telepathy battles. Even when Murtagh is on a torture table or when he’s naked in front of a powerful woman who is actively inspecting his body, he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He doesn’t have an ass or a dick. The wind doesn’t make him shiver. He’s just a Mind. But women, well. They only have bodies when men touch them. The course of Alin’s life is defined by Murtagh’s touch, and even Nasuada, a fucking queen, only gets physical description via the coins Murtagh has in his possession and his memory of the cuts and bruises he left on her body. And women also have no minds—unless they’re werecats or elves or half elves, the only kind of woman who are remotely threatening, the only kind of women who are “as good as” the baseline of human men. Nasuada is proven as Murtagh’s equal because she was able to overcome the torture of her body. If he hadn’t tortured her, or if she had broken down, she wouldn’t have proven herself worthy of being his romantic partner.

Eragon’s romantic interest also started out being tortured. Not by him, but “girl who is tortured but is too strong to give up her secrets” was her entire characterisation for a book and a half, until he rescued her. That’s uh. That’s how you find girlfriends who are good enough for your protagonists.

THESE FUCKING BOOKS.

Bachel has put Thorn in a special wrought iron muzzle. Yet again, this is just objectively cool

We learn about who the cult worships: evil dragon underground. He makes fumes come out of the earth and they brainwash people and give them visions. He will come out of the ground and eat the sun unless every living thing worships him.

Really Bachel is not leading a cult she is leading an environmental rescue mission. Quick we gotta get everyone to worship this evil dragon STAT, or he’s going to wipe out all life on earth.

Why does an evil dragon living under the earth with the power to eat the sun (?!??!) actually want or need to be worshipped by “every living thing”. What is his motivation?? And why would that stop him eating the sun?

“The sculptures would have horrified most any artist in Alagaesia, no matter their race.” Mark this down as one of the worst sentences he has written yet!!

I realise now I’ve been misremembering multiple main characters’ names

I like Bachel telling Thorn to stay, like he’s a dog. That’s good to me

Murtagh is learning about the power of friendship to heal himself last minute, I guess

Why is Murtagh pausing to duel fucking Lyreth, the most boring man in the world. Is it because of the waists he touched??? I have never felt this man was worth any time at all

NOT Paolini specifically pointing out that Lyreth “smelled of a cloying peach scented perfume” and that he’s physically weaker than Murtagh as Murtagh overcomes him. Lyreth was too feminine to be strong, in the end

This book is obsessed with the word “youngling.” Murtagh says to Thorn “don’t kill any younglings.” He’s fighting Lyreth but he’s not worried because he himself is “no longer a youngling”. Fucking fuck off! just say youth. Child. Kid. Teenager even!! Come on!!

Murtagh going “this is taking too long” in the duel: me at the whole book thus far

“Is wrong-think to worship Bachel or Azlagur,” says Ubek. This is real dialogue in a book published in real 2023. Oh yeah btw everything he says is written like this

Oh, the urgal’s size and brute strength makes him Murtagh’s equal. I see

Grieve is legitimately yelling “kill the non-believers!!” and calling them desecrators??? Cartoon hours

To start winning the fight, all Murtagh had to do was find his magic sword! It stores all his potency and he inherited it from his father. Freud?? Don’t worry about it

The cultists are bleeding green blood???? Does this mean they’re not human or is it the lighting or what.

Groups of dragons are always being described as a Thunder Of. They’re only ever being described in visions but it’s always being described as “a thunder of dragons”, because Paolini is very proud of inventing his very own collective noun for dragons I guess

Buncha little pasty freaks showing up.

Murtagh’s ultimate challenge: he has to fight one hundred gollums

Paolini inventing new guys for his dungeon at unprecedented rates

Murtagh is legitimately busy trying to think of new names for his sword NOW?? He is just going to stop in the middle of this urgent fight to go find where the bad woman (Bachel) took the good woman (Alìn) to go “my sword has a bad name. It could have a good name.” Did he not have time while he was mouldering in the dungeon to think about this

He’s checking his compendium, like in video games.

Books have never been worse. If Murtagh/Paolini calls this sword Scar I will legitimately never know peace

Oh the sword is called Freedom now. Get it? Like America? It’s the most important value??

“Seeing the armor, Murtagh realized that the leather garb the cultists had donned for the festival of black smoke had been made to resemble Bachel's fantastic suit.”

what a sentence

This is the worst

I hate how her spear has a name and a dramatic history. Like come on

Fucking mind battles again

Alin is just… I’m sorry to her, but she’s not a real person. She’s a cardboard cutout in distress

The final boss fight should not be taking place in the magical world of the mind

Now she’s calling him “infidel?” Okay

The ultimate battle: the structuring power of masculine language versus the primeval chaos of raw women’s emotion!!! Who will win!! Hint: Christopher Paolini wrote this!

“She seemed merely a woman again.”

‘Merely’ is how Paolini always describes women (when he thinks they’re worth describing of course)

Wait… is the only reason Bachel has been intimidating REALLY just because she’s been channelling a tough evil boy dragon? Once the mask is gone and he’s not empowering her… she’s merely…

I’m going to kick Christopher Paolini’s fucking ass

Murtagh feels so emotionally close to Bachel. As he splits her skull. Normal book

For real why were ALL the Riders so afraid of Bachel??? The gas fumes? Face masks not invented?? This seems pretty easy to solve like if they’d just. Sent more than one guy?

He passes out and the chapter ends of course. Then he wakes up in the city

Ah, Alin is blonde and blue eyed. She was a pale skinned virgin who needed rescuing from an evil and also foreign almond eyed amber skinned woman who was whipping her. You know how it goes

I hate how Alìn always calls Murtagh “my lord.” She’s like one of those medieval fighting game banners of a sexy woman. She’s a cartoon.

Isn’t it a shame that when Murtagh hastily gets out of bed to bow to Nasuada he is wearing pants. So much funnier if he wasn’t

I’m so over this book holy shit

Oh, for being the apparently only sole survivor of Murtagh’s obliteration of her cult and everything she’s ever known, Alìn is being promoted to… Nasuada’s maid. That’s not what she asked for. That’s just what she’s being told she’s going to do from now on. Fucking hell.

Nasuada is Jealous of this blonde woman and I was afraid for her because Nasuada is also famously the only black woman on the continent. But of course she has nothing to fear because only the most powerful woman in the land could ever be remotely Murtagh’s equal, which she proved by being stronger at being tortured than him

She asks him to stay and she touches his hand just lightly

The END??

They don’t even kiss?!!!?!! I had to read it twice to be sure. SEXLESS BOOK.

[loptrcoptr]

I’ve seen an awful lot of posts re: the new Murtagh book about how “unfair” Eragon and Nasuada were to Murtagh by railing at him and telling him to turn on Galbatorix in Inheritance. And I find that so shocking? what were they supposed to be doing, whispering “it’s ok sweetie, do your best alright we luv you :) uwu take your time honey”?? Dude has had his will broken and his mind enslaved by an evil mastermind, he’s full of rage and angst– shouldn’t they be trying to bring those emotions to the surface to help him break free? Also, Murtagh is not the kind of character that enjoys a pity party or is even vaguely comfortable with being vulnerable around others, including those he loves (on many levels), as a result of all those years of abuse and torture. I doubt it would’ve felt very compelling to him if his companions stayed silent or just offered platitudes and hollow encouragements– what should they have said, you got this, bro”?

Idk, I think that it’s interesting that as a fandom we can spend a lot of mental energy (and I mean a lot, 20 years of it over here on my end!!) bending over backwards being compassionate towards Broody McWarcrimes because he has been mind controlled and tortured within an inch of his life, but Goodboy Mainkid and Badass Queenieface try to get him out of his broody dark spiral of a brain for once and it’s like “oh my god, they’re so manipulative, they don’t even care”. Eragon had seen and done Some Shit and Nasuada was also a tortured mind control prisoner (by this guy!!), but for not being moody emo kids about their pain, the way Murtagh is, and compartmentalizing it differently than he does (too stoically, possibly), it’s like it erases their suffering for some people, and I think that’s an unfortunate reaction. If your traumatized friend was maybe the key to saving all your lives, wouldn’t you try to snap them out of their misery in any way you could, magic or no magic? Paolini says it himself multiple times in the new book - “Murtagh was feeling bad for himself again”. It’s the way a lot of us would cope with severely traumatic shit, I’m sure, brood and overthink and marinate in our pain. That doesn’t mean it’s compelling behavior for the people who are depending on you. I think Murtagh needed that needling, that boost from Nasuada and Eragon to get the ball rolling, or else he would not have been clear-headed enough to really think about his true name changing, because he would still have been stuck in the dark, sad spiral of the mind control, and it might have taken more time than they really had for him to get right with himself. They’re not chiding him and making light of his plight, they’re reminding him that he is even stronger than he knows and that they believe in him.

I love that little emo-boy blorbo, but he broods too much, and I think it’s ok for them to say it!

[alagaesia-headcanons]

There's something inherently ugly about how you ship Murtagh with Orrin. It's one thing to not like the main ship for a beloved character as set up by the author - valid - but it's another to push half of said ship away to force in your fave pasty white boy. You can write meta after meta after meta all you want about how poor Orrin is done dirty, or how that meanie Nasuada hurt him, or how the books don't put your fave background character on a pedestal, but all your writing amounts to is the fact that you've imprinted on Orrin and are now using him as a vessel for your original character. In your writing, he's not a character from the series anymore - he's your OC wearing Orrin's face and bearing Orrin's name. Which, it isn't bad to expand upon a sidelines character. But it's the way you turn around and spew how fandom fave Murtagh is in love with your OC that really shows the truth and the rot festering in you. You can cry and bemoan the romantic love Paolini has written between Murtagh and Nasuada, but your essay won't amount to jack shit if you're just going to turn around and replace Nasuada with your OC and suddenly sing it's praise.

Before you start decrying all of this, ask yourself: why are you so desperate to discredit canon's romance? It's one thing to think they should both remain single after the trauma they experienced throughout the series - fair take. But then why are you so eager to prop up your own ship? Is "Orrin" inherently more worthy of of Murtagh's love? Or is Nasuada simply not worthy, but instead in the way, in your eyes? You can wish all you want for people to love your writing, but that doesn't hide the rotten foundation of your ship: sidelining Nasuada to uplift your white fave and wanting him to have all that she does. No amount of rambling meta about how they're a "good ship" and they would work will ever cover up your inherent biases and -ism's that your poor sad white boy's ship is built upon.

For the love of god.

Anon, let me just say this to you directly- block me. It's that easy. Sending something like this instead is an embarrassment. But since you've already said your piece, I'll go ahead and say mine.

Let me first bring up what you oddly wouldn't directly accuse me of (maybe even you knew what a blatant straw man it is), that being racism. I'm not going to make light of this. Racism in fandom is a real issue, and separating a ship with a character of color to ship white characters can be a symptom of that. I have never turned a blind eye to this and I make a continual effort to remain conscious of it because it's incredibly important to me that I'm not contributing to this kind of prejudice in fandom.

This pairing started years ago when I thought of a crack ship polycule with all three of them. Over time as I considered that, the idea of shipping Murtagh and Orrin developed into a distinct concept which I found more intriguing than shipping Murtagh and Nasuada. At that point, I made an active decision to examine my interest and determine if it was grounded in the way canon presents the individual qualities and dynamics of these specific characters, independent of the broad groups any of them fall into, or if it lacked any such basis in canon and only stemmed from an unconscious bias of mine. And if I didn't find any substantial elements of canon that supported the idea, I intended to put it away and work through my bias.

So I looked, and I found I could fully explain the reasons the ship appealed to me through the details in the books. I never made some public announcement about taking this issue into full consideration because it shouldn't be performative. Holding myself accountable is a basic personal responsibility which I take seriously, not something to make me look better. But it’s always felt meaningful to simply convey that I care about putting thought and reason into my ideas and my preference for my ship isn’t baseless. I’ve done that, but it seems I should be more direct here.

So let me lay out my thought process. Why am I not interested in shipping Murtagh and Nasuada? The things that deter me personally are both emotional and logistical issues. The major emotional issue to me is how disparate their priorities are. Murtagh prioritizes protecting loved ones, which causes issues when he accepts and complies with awful acts while trying to defend them. Nasuada prioritizes the good of her cause, which causes issues when she dismisses another person’s wellbeing when it’s in the way of her goals. Murtagh’s character arc is about learning the best thing he can do for his loved ones might be accepting their willingness to make sacrifices, suggesting he becomes aware of his issue and would try to correct that going forward. However, Nasuada still doesn’t seem aware of her issue after the war, given her policy about magicians and her minimal concern for Roran, so that still presents an underlying problem that would badly exacerbate their serious trauma until it’s addressed.

None of that is a moral judgment on anything. Both of them could cause any number of other issues; it’s just stating where they stand. And I still think they could be written in a way that stays true to their characters while working through those issues so that they stay together. I think it’d be exceptionally challenging, and it still might not be to my own taste, but it has that potential. But there are also logistical issues. Nasuada is queen in Uru’baen. I genuinely feel like this is so meaningful to her character, a very fitting culmination of her aspirations, and if she were to take substantial spans away from her throne, it would be a disservice to how she was written. That said, with the way I characterize Murtagh, I really don’t feel that he would want to openly settle in a place defined by politics and power struggles. I feel like it would be very unfulfilling for him and Thorn, especially in the city of his tumultuous childhood and their tortuous enslavement. So given the dissatisfaction if Nasuada left the rule she wants and deserves and the discontent of Murtagh living in Uru’baen, I struggle to imagine them as more than a distant, intermittent relation.

So that’s why I personally don’t enjoy shipping them. Of course, it’s subjective, but I feel like it’s also fair, and you seem to suggest that you do too. So let’s move on. So now the question is if a potential relationship with Orrin would present the same or equivalent issues that I overlook just because he's a white man.

Naturally, this is subjective too, but I say no. Of course there are still possible emotional issues between them (if there were none it’d be boring), but they’re different. Given the way specific way Orrin grieves for his friends and struggles to have faith in their cause when he sees the risk of his people being killed, I believe he is also more focused on looking after individuals than pursuing a cause. I feel like that lays a smoother groundwork with Murtagh, who has been hurt by people who dismissed his wellbeing, and that reduces a lot of underlying pain between them. Orrin’s other struggles, like defeatism, fear, and hopelessness, as well as yearning for recognition and autonomy, align with Murtagh’s experience more in a way that makes their emotional issues more interesting to engage with.

With logistical issues, obviously Orrin is also a king. But I don’t find that presents the same issues either. I interpret that Orrin didn’t want to be king and isn’t content in that role. When the matter of Murtagh’s desire to avoid being openly tied to Surda’s seat of power arises, I find a much more interesting and balanced potential story where Orrin also hopes to leave his crown and they support each other in their search for a home that they can both make their own. The discrepancies I personally find so bothersome between Murtagh and Nasuada don’t come up with Murtagh and Orrin, so I enjoy their ship more. It’s just about my interpretation of compatibility. That is the crux of my thought process. No one has to agree with it, but I believe it stands as a fair assessment.

You insist that I ask myself why I prefer one ship over another. I've done that. I've already been doing that the entire time and will continue to do so. You keep whining that I make a lot of meta analysis about aspects of the characters and how I feel like they would or wouldn't mesh together, and yeah. That's the whole fucking point. In the same way I just did, those posts explore and articulate the concrete reasons one ship appeals to me and one doesn't. For years I've diligently asked myself why I'm drawn to Murtagh/Orrin more than Murtagh/Nasuada and I'm fully secure and confident in my answer that it's the emotional and narrative possibilities they have that appeal to me more. If I was given all the details of these characters, stripped of any names, descriptions, genders, ect. I know I would still really love this ship.

And that's not even to say that it's somehow "better" (it's just different in a way that suits my taste), or that Murtagh and Nasuada's relationship must be meaningless or non-existent if it's not romantic. In my story where I ship him and Orrin, he and Nasuada go through struggles, but as they grow, they're able to reconcile and learn to better support each other and their relationship ends in a much better place.

(Also, if you're talking about my “essay” that Murtagh's true name doesn't change because he fell for Nasuada, that's irrelevant to shipping them. The series could end with them getting married and they could be my all time otp, and it'd still be true that falling in love didn't change his true name. It's just a separate part of his character arc.)

For another thing, Murtagh and Nasuada are NOT a canon ship, and that does matter. For example, it has very different implications to change an interracial ship that is happily married in canon. In the IC, it is canon that they're attracted to each other, but nothing beyond that. (And I've never even discredited that! In fact, I've said their attraction is well written and in character. It's included in my story; I didn't overwrite it.) They're never in a relationship and there's no set up that implies romance is inevitable for their stories. You yourself acknowledge that there are very valid reasons to interpret that a romantic relationship wouldn't work between them!!! So if it's fine to not ship Murtagh and Nasuada as a couple, why is it suddenly heinous to imagine Murtagh with someone else?

It’s not. Your claims are far more baseless and distasteful. Why do you act like Nasuada couldn’t possibly be respected or worthy without Murtagh’s affection? Why do you act like pointing out her mistakes condemns her entirely, as if she’s not allowed to have any flaws? Why do you think a relationship with Murtagh is equivalent to all that Nasuada has? I won’t make your kind of moral accusations about a stranger, but I will simply say that I find that very objectionable. I love Nasuada for being such a unique, flawed, and fascinating character who is so much more than all that. And if you made such a volatile, deplorable, inappropriate response simply to the idea that Murtagh- a fictional character- could love someone else, you might need to take a step back. You’re being cruel.

(Also, I don’t feel like going through the whole “u just made orrin into an oc” shit tbh. This is long enough. I take care to draw my characterization from canon, but y’all can read my stuff and decide for yourself if you’d like. Although, saying I imprinted on him is the funniest part of this ludicrous message. You know what, yeah. I’ve tricked you all. You thought this blog was being run by a human being? WRONG. Baby duckling.)

[morosoro]

So as we all do, I bought more books.

I had good reason- we were on vacation and there was the cutest little book store and- oh I’m sure you all understand 😅

Anyways, now I’ve got quite the pile of unread books to make my way though. And since I’m finally nearing the end of Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller, (after putting reading on the back-burner for a while (we moved houses, had that vacation to plan and arrange, all that jazz)) it’s about time I start thinking of what to read next.

I know that if I wait until I’m 100% done with this book then my decision making paralysis will just have me avoiding my books like the plague again smh.

So these are the 9 unread books in my little collection. I’ll leave this poll up for a week or so, and hopefully let the strangers on the internet sway my opinion lmao

[eliza-makepeace]

so i have some Thoughts™ about eragon turning into an elf-looking guy and they're not pretty.

to me it all seems like "elves are cool everyone else is not cool" and it clearly stems from paolini himself thinking that, but also *in story* i think it's worse.

first off, a big part of who eragon is, and what his struggle has come from, is being human. I don't like how it differentiates him from the rest of his family, from roran and garrow, from selena, and even from murtagh! it's like he rejects his whole history for something he thinks it's better. in eldest he says "this is what he was always intended to look like" and i'm like "how about no?".

he gets bullied by the elves (looking at u, vanir) bc he doesn't look like them and how could the first rider since the fall be a human and not an elf?!? the offence, the horror! the minute eragon resembles them is the minute vanir suddenly is all like "i like you now lol". and they do it without asking eragon whether or not he wants to look like them! he just wakes up the next morning and is like "oh, look at this.......i look great :)"

and tbh even if he likes it, it's a no no from me. like, part of the reason he wants to look like this is bc he thinks arya will like him better this way! (and then proceeds to keep asking arya about it even when she says no...like, my son, it's not your appearance that is the problem. stop fucking insisting. you're starting to look like a bit of a jerk)

and then there's the whole thing about the scar. he could've had it healed, he was the one who didn't want it healed in the first place! and then he goes to the oath celebration, they change his appearance and they erase his scar and he's fine about it? like. he *could have healed it* if he'd wanted to. and not even entirely btw, he could've done what murtagh did to essie's scar, reduce it and make it not hurt but keep it as remembrance of past pain. (btw i also think it's a really low shot when eragon says to murtagh at the burning plains "i'm not like u, i don't have the scar anymore" .......like, bro. this is not the "win" you think it is)

[elvain]

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

these days, my writing research consists almost entirely of khuzdul and silm reference checks. but in the past i have definitely researched some odd things... the one that sticks out is my heavy research into an almost abandoned greek island for the purpose of having an "end of the world" level battle there.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

i DO. i have a beautiful cowardly dog named spark. :) here she is. she's named after a dragon called sparker in the aurelian cycle by rosaria munda. and she is afraid of everything.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

incorrect use of the . , and " in writing, giant blocks of text without paragraph separations, and first person pov.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

for a few days now i have been wondering what it must have been like for maglor to wander the shores of middle earth forever and watch the world pass him by but know that he will never be able to escape what he did or what was done to him. cheery innit

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

i think from my very roots, my writing is heavily inspired by christopher paolini's writing in eragon. more recently, i think i've been quite inspired by tolkien for obvious reasons. :) and of course, the music i listen to is different per fic so that influences the mood/tone i use. i have always been more of a dramatic writer than romantic or humorous.

writer's truth or dare

[modern-inheritance]

One day, if my internal screaming and sobbing about possible future canon scenarios is powerful enough, I will list/word vomit to all of you my fears for whatever future(s) Paolini may have in store for the characters so the rest of you can suffer with me.

That whiplash last night thinking about some stuff just…oh that hurt.

Some bitching about Murtagh below the cut because I gotta get it off my chest even though I don’t have full context yet:

POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW

I’m not yet done with Murtagh, but from what I’ve seen around tumblr concerning developments and new lore and reworked lore, I’m not really happy with what Paolini did.

Yes, there needed to be a threat larger than Galbatorix. But, if what Bachel eventually says (and I’m not there yet so I may be wrong) is true and we are accepting her as a reliable source, I fucking hate that Paolini has implied or flat out set in stone here that everything, Galbatorix taking down the riders and all his evils and whatnot, all the bad guys and girls, were influenced by or directed by the Dreamers.

I’m sorry. But can’t we just have people being evil for their own sake?! Galbatorix was crazy, went mad with grief and powerlust. LET EVIL PEOPLE BE EVIL. His motivations do not need to completely make sense to us, BECAUSE HE WAS A MAD KING. Let the forsworn just be terrible fucking assholes! Let narcissists be narcissists because that’s what they are!

I would be far more okay with this whole Dreamers development, the cult fuckery, if the ENTIRE lore and reasoning behind the ENTIRE FUCKING WAR AND FALL AND PREVIOUS BOOKS WAS JUST TOSSED ASIDE.

And maybe I’m not understanding it right because I haven’t finished it yet. But I just. I feel like paolini slapped us in the face and said ‘I wanted new lore, ignore all the other books.’

Just…ugh. I’m sorry it just really fucking upset me for some reason. I can be cool with a cult that’s had fingers in all the fucking pies they want. But why couldn’t it be independent of the Galbatorix and the forsworn and the fall? Let evil batshit people with complexes and complex , batshit evil reasons that they think make them the good guys just BE THE BIG BAD.

The dreamers could have been their own separate thing. Fuck me.

[bruceandmary]

I'm still processing what happened last night. I was more nervous than I could remember in years to the point that I was shaking a little, but it was all worth it in the end. That's because I got to meet Christopher Paolini at the release event for "Murtagh."

I've loved the Inheritance Cycle ever since my parents gave me the first two (and only, back then) books in a box set on Christmas Day almost 17 years ago. They were the first full-length fantasy books I had ever read and I devoured them. When Brisingr, Inheritance, and The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm were released, I got them as soon as I possibly could. The moment Murtagh was being announced, I was over the moon. Then in July, I got the stunning news that his book tour would begin at a Barnes and Noble in New Jersey, my home state. I couldn't believe it. This was a chance I never believed I would get. I reserved the book, put in for time off, and counted down the days until November 7th finally arrived.

When I got there last night, I was amazed at how many people were already there over an hour before the event started. There were kids younger than I was when I started reading the series and adults far older than I am now. I went straight to the registers, picked up my copy with its Zar'roc pin, then found my way to a good spot. From there, the building filled up until almost everyone was brushing elbows. Right at 6:00 PM, Christopher Paolini came in and immediately brought down the house. I was cheering, but also utterly in awe at being able to be there. The talk he gave was funny and heartfelt and I learned so much about him and the Inheritance Cycle I had never knew before. He then turned the mic over to Gerard Doyle, who's done the reading for every single audiobook. It was incredible to hear what Murtagh and Thorn sounded like. Afterwards, Christopher opened the floor to questions and I was able to have mine answered.

When the Q&A was finished, it was time for the book signing. I ended up waiting over an hour before the block my number was called because, in addition to the personalized copy, Christopher would be signing as many back copies as a person wanted, but it was worth the wait. It took another twenty-five or thirty minutes before I reached the table. I spoke a little of the ancient language and he responded in it with a smile. The only copy I brought aside from Murtagh was Eragon, still in its original dust jacket. While signing them, I was able to briefly ask him another question and he answered me again. It was a moment I'll never forget. I was then able to get my copy signed by Gerard Doyle.

By the time I reached my car, I was literally shaking from excitement. When I got in, I focused myself so I could get home and drove off.

So far, Murtagh has been beyond my wildest dreams from what I expected. I'm about 120 pages in and it's had twists and turns that leave me utterly stumped as to what will happen next. The black and white illustrations are incredible to look at and I plan to translate the map as soon as I finish the book. But none of that compares to what's on the title page. For the rest of my life, I'll be able to open to it and the title page of Eragon to see Christopher Paolini's and Gerard Doyle's signatures there. When I see those pages, I'll be reminded of a night that will mean more to me than anyone will ever know.

Thank you, Gerard Doyle.

And thank you, Christopher Paolini.

Atra esterní ono thelduin.

[cntarella]

Tell me you haven’t worked in publishing without telling me…….

1. Cover artists aren’t all specifically commissioned for books. Unless there’s a specific art direction they will use assets from bigger companies cause art directors have to work with an excess of 30+ books PER SEASON. It’s highly likely (and confirmed by Tor) that they bought this asset from a vendor that they weren’t aware was using AI art. Does that excuse usage? No. But it’s also pretty normal that they can’t vet what amounts to literally thousands of assets. They have to trust vendors and sometimes it doesn’t pay off.

2. When an author “approves” a cover, they literally get the jpg and made comments on if they like it or not. That’s basically it. Then it gets sent to marketing and sales, who look at their clients like BN and Amazon and see what’s selling. Even if the author likes it, the sales dept might ask for changes and it’s a protracted fight that usually the sales dept wins—even with big authors. It’s not authors commissioning their own covers 🙄 usually they get several versions and they say yes to the one they like best. Paolini prob had no idea that the cover was not produced in-house.

3. Depending on how big a print run is, the components have to be made in advance. The bigger the print run the more time you need to print more—months ahead especially with the supply shortage in publishing at the moment. They also print ARCs ahead with the cover if it is done by that time to hand out to publications and other authors for quotes and reviews. It’s part of the marketing strategy for cover recognition (but neither here nor there for this point). It just means this cover is OUT. In the world. Likely the jackets have finished printing and they had to make the call to spend more to commission and reprint covers and create more waste—or to go with the first print run of this cover until it sells out and they have to do a second run. Print runs for big authors can run into the tens of thousands of books. As the OP pointed out—this is an author with 24 million books sold. The print run is Not Small.

4. All this leads to—often, publishing imprints don’t have individual budgets for their authors. Their pool comes out of a bigger budget for their authors, and allocated per book of the season depending on their P&L projections. This means they’ve already spent the money on Paolini’s books, and exceeding that by prob more than double given that rush jobs ALWAYS cost more leads to depriving their other smaller authors of their marketing share. Authors who would hurt a lot more than Paolini will if he doesn’t get a new cover.

Thus doesn’t mean that the use of AI art should be accepted as a cost saving measure—just that this fuck up got so far in the process it actively hurts more people than it helps to pull out in the middle of it. If Tor does it again, then yeah they don’t give a fuck about their artists. But them not doing it now is a careful calculation about how much they can give to other authors they also have responsibilities too. Paolini is also not someone who is exactly at fault here, just a lesson that he should ask more questions abt his cover in the future. Given that Eragon was self-published at first before it was picked up and commissioned with a specific artist, he prob doesn’t know all the details of in-house cover making.

[nerdypagan1]

"how can you write [thing you don't do]" is such a dumb question, because like... I've never gone hawking or wielded a spear. the writers of Star Trek have never been on a spaceship (probably). Paolini has never spoken to a dragon. people write about things they've never done ALL THE TIME. that's what fiction primarily is.

Pride Month and The Aphobic Stereotypes

With Pride Month being here we will unfortunately see a lot of aphobia. The usual:

'you just haven't found the right one'

'are you x because you have suffered?'

'sex/romance is everything!'

'you're like an innocent child'

'you're a monster for not feeling (romantic) love'

'how can you write/draw smut or enjoy smut art if you're asexual?'

'how can you write/draw romance or enjoy romance art if you're aromantic?'

'you're going to die alone/be miserable without a partner!'

'that person can't be your friend; must be your lover/crush'

No aphobia allowed. Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. We're not all the same. I'm a sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed aro/ace. If you want to learn more research and kindly ask around. So Happy Pride Month to Aromantics, Asexuals, and Aroaces!

[2am-poetry]

Poetry Studies: Narrative Breakdown

"Sometimes I walk into the storm, just to feel the wind"

While that line alone sounds swell, without a *purpose* or *audience,* I as the *speaker* would only end up poetically rambling and while it might sound good to a novice, it would not be necessarily great. This is what makes the difference between general poets and poets like Edgar Allan Poe, Elizabeth Bishop or William Henley. Once a writer has a purpose, audience and speaker, picking words or diction becomes as easy as choosing colors for a painting to set a tone and mood of inspiration, especially the *title.* The best poems guide the reader through novelty and leave an aftertaste of sensation in their minds. "The best poems leave an aftertaste." is more quotable.

Drake is an excellent writer, but would likely lean more towards music than poetry consistently because of his legacy and the the immediate return on value. If I had to predict what he would write an excellent poem about, it would likely be about 1) [insert something] standing the test of time or 2) Elitely getting away with something but those are still assumptions and I gave two options for strategic options if distracted

"I forget to remember [blank] the [blank] of [month]ember, a [blank] that was always mine.." Every time I remember that line, it gets ever better, Yves Mathieu. When done properly, it feels like you've caught a time travel artifact, which may seem like an accident, but knowing the best writer's levels of intention, I would not think so. So IGNITE. "Good writing ennobles you." -such as the poem Invictus and my poem, "The Art Of Time Travel" is so good and effective, I may not ever need to again, yet I love the fun of writing, so I'm likely to start strongly adopting identities and doing personification.

What would it be like to have a song tied to a virtual location, save it once you visit and have that song be remixed further upon your journey? What other ways can art or songs be gamified? I want an Ai dragon that can speak poetically and eventually produce offspring with another Ai animal with unique AiDNA; thank Christopher Paolini for the inspiration. And what would it be like to visit an art show and use technology to collect an artpiece for a digital frame at home? All the monetization, tracing and uniqueness considered of course. Recall there is a dark planet where the first thing you touch glows red and the what you collect after that glows different colors and further gamification. I enjoy Litten and Glorilla and I am at Diamondback Gorillas. I remember saying that I turned the sea into data for people to shout anything into and I could turn all my notes blue now but, "Sometimes I walk into the storm, just to feel the wind..."