#paloma faith changing

[flawless-imperfections]

this ain’t real, this ain’t true, this ain’t what i signed up to

[kaspbra-cant-even]

Never Tear Us Apart (Spencer Reid/Reader)

This is one of my works from AO3 where I post under the user-name fish_cloud. Under the cut will be the entire work as it is already finished. Have fun reading and feedback is always appreciated 💛

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence Category: F/M Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV) Relationship: Spencer Reid/Reader Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader, Elle Greenaway, Penelope Garcia, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, Derek Morgan Additional Tags: Soulmate AU, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Angst, Violence, Torture, Sexual Content Language: English Chapters: 7/7 Words: 17k

Summary: Soulmates exist but they are rare. So rare, that some people doubt their existence. (Y/n) is already struggling trying to hide her feelings for Spencer but then she finds out they're soulmates, just as they take on a case about a serial killer targeting couples, he thinks are soulmates, things get complicated and dangerous.

Notes: The title is inspired by Never Tear Us Apart by Paloma Faith (I swear that woman has a voice to die for). Also this is kind of dedicated to my best friend, I love her so much. Enough from me, have fun reading :))

Chapter 1

Having a soulmate was a rare occurrence. You could consider yourself lucky if you had one and even luckier if you ever found them. It was kind of like winning the lottery. There were people who had devoted their entire life to finding their other half, without even knowing if they even existed. Isn’t it only human to crave connection? The longing to belong to someone. This is not to say, that you were alone, just because you didn’t have a soulmate or didn’t find them. But this kind of connection was hard to grasp for someone who hadn’t experienced it. A one in a million connection.

Most known things about soul-connections were purely speculative due to the fact that they were so rare and even when some would find each other, there was nothing easy about trying to explain it. Like with all spiritual things there were some people who chased the idea with cult-like devotion and there were people whose life remained inherently untouched by it.

(Y/n) was the latter. In her now 1 and a half years at the BAU she had come into contact with the subject. Mostly it had been people who justified their crimes with their search for their soulmate or they were fueled by their hate for others who had found “the one”. (Y/n) knew that their loneliness didn’t stem from the lack of a soulmate. It was just something to project their loneliness onto.

There were several ways to know if you even had a soulmate but like with most things, they weren’t scientifically accurate most of the time. Soulmates could feel each other’s pain, physical as well as mental. The problem is, who hasn’t had random bruises that showed up out of nowhere or a sudden change in mood. Do you just not remember where those injuries came from and maybe you’re more empathetic than some people or is it your soulmate? Of course, with major injuries there was no doubt but taking into consideration how few even were unmatched souls and out of those how many suffered such significant damage that anything else could be ruled out, needless to say it was an uncommon occurrence to find out this way.

Another thing were shared dreams. Not in the sense that soulmates would dream about the exact same thing, but the overall tone would synchronize. If one was having nightmares, the other would too. Psychological consequences were mostly unexplored.

The last known indicator was that once having met your soulmate you’re lives were intertwined, no matter if you knew they were your soulmate or not.

As you see, all of these indicators weren’t exactly clear. As a result, you could meet your soulmate without ever figuring out they were the one.

When she was younger (Y/n) had fantasized about having a soulmate, like most teenagers did, but as she got older, the fantasy faded. Other things had become more important. She had picked up on some signs but there had never been definite proof and after a while it wasn’t important anymore. She had started working for the FBI as a profiler and from that point on

her mind had been preoccupied with anything else. She wouldn’t waste her life searching for someone she didn’t even know existed.

As (Y/n) walked into the bullpen one morning, the bad dream from the night before still lingered. She couldn’t remember what it had been about, but she hadn’t gotten much rest. She sat down at her desk. She hadn’t even unpacked as Spencer walked up to her with an extra cup of coffee in his hand. (Y/n) couldn’t help but notice he looked tired. “Morning, panda boy.” “Panda what?” “Because of the bags under your...nevermind, you look tired.” Spencer let out a sigh. (Y/n) took a sip of coffee. “Nightmare again?” Spencer nodded and leaned on the edge of her desk.

When (Y/n) first started to take a liking to Spencer she couldn’t stop herself from interpreting something into every one of these common experiences but after a while she’d resigned herself to accepting the were just coincidences. She had read somewhere that people would sync up after spending a lot of time together and there wasn’t a person in the world, she spent more time with than Spencer Reid. The only people who came in close second were the others on the team. When you worked for the BAU, the people you worked with were your family, so much so, she barely had any relationships outside of work.

“I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?” She brushed his arm ever so lightly with her fingertips as to not overstep any boundaries. Spencer and (Y/n) were close but she herself wasn’t a very physical person and so she would go out of her way as not to make other people uncomfortable. There were of course exceptions. One of those exceptions was Penelope Garcia, (Y/n)’s best friend at the BAU. Over time she had gotten so comfortable with Penelope that physical touch was a given.

But with Spencer it had always been something different. After they had become friends, it hadn’t taken too long until (Y/n) had caught feelings and she felt like taking advantage of their friendship if she used it to get closer to him.

Spencer’s eyes flickered to her hand on his arm for a split second before she retracted it quickly as to not make him uncomfortable. Their eyes met for a second but before she could try to read him and overthink the situation Spencer spoke up. “Conference room in 5.” He walked back to his desk to get some papers before heading to the conference room.

(Y/n) let out a sigh. Spending time with Spencer had become increasingly more difficult. It wasn’t his fault. It just became harder to hide her affections. She could feel them drifting apart in her effort not to jeopardize their friendship. She buried her face in her hands. There was no good way out of this. Clearly her feelings weren’t going away, and she knew she couldn’t hide them forever. The BAU must’ve been the worst place on earth to have a crush on your coworker.

The inevitable next step was Spencer finding out about it one way or another. The only question was how he’d react. (Y/n) had ruled out the possibility of him reciprocating her

feelings pretty fast. She remembered a case in LA where they had to catch Lila Archers stalker. Spencer had been smitten from the second he laid eyes on her. It had taken (Y/n) weeks and a few bottles of Hennessy to get the image of them kissing in the pool out of her head.

She shook her head as if to get rid of the memory. She stared at her desk from between her fingers. The other two options were either him being ok with her having feelings for him but at this point she doubted she could still be friends with him even if he had a good reaction, or he wouldn’t want anything to do with her anyway.

“Fuck...” (Y/n) whispered. She looked up, fixed herself and grabbed her cup before walking into the conference room. The only free seat was next to Spencer. He gave her a small smile before she sat down. Instantly she felt the small butterflies in her stomach. She smiled back and emptied her coffee hoping to drown those fuckers.

Jennifer Jareau was standing in the front explaining their new case. The unsub was targeting couples in the Las Vegas area. The couples went missing sometimes for weeks. There had been 16 bodies already. They showed clear signs of torture. JJ showed them pictures of the symbol every victim had carved into their chest. It resembled a stick figure of a human with four arms and four legs.

“We can safely assume that the killer’s motivation has something to do with the soulmate myth.” JJ concluded.

(Y/n) couldn’t help but smile. She knew Spencer was about to speak before he even opened his mouth.

“Plato said: According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

(Y/n) turned to the others. “So, what er we thinking? Is this guy delusional and chasing some fantasy or were those people actually soulmates he found somehow?” “We won’t have definite proof if these people were soulmate or not as they’re dead, but it would be statistically very unlikely that they were in fact actual soulmates.” Spencer responded.

His eyes lingered on her for a moment. He would never admit it but the way (Y/n) chewed on her pen when she was in deep thought made him feel things. It took him a second to tear his eyes away from her before turning his attention back to JJ.

“We’re dealing with a highly organized serial killer. His motivation is power and control, we’re looking for someone with an outwardly normal looking life, someone charming, charismatic and very intelligent. Later victims have shown signs of post-mortem sexual behavior. So, we’re dealing with someone who feels alone, who fears rejection. When his victims are dead the possibility of being rejected is gone. He also inserts himself into the couple’s relationship. We have to assume that whether they really are soulmates or not, he believes they are. It is possible that he also has some sort of god complex, putting himself in the role of Zeus who separates the soulmates from each other.”

The atmosphere on the jet was buzzing with conversation. The soulmate subject had that effect on people. It was a heavily discussed and controversial concept.

“I don’t think soulmates actually exist.” Morgan said and leaned back in his chair. “How can you say that? There have been cases where soulmates have actually found each other!” Elle protested. “It’s all fake, how can you believe them? Let me guess, you also read your horoscope every day too?” Morgan let out a light laugh but Elle furrowed her brows. “They’re two totally different things, even if I did believe in astrology, which has no relevance whatsoever in this discussion, you can’t just ignore facts!”

(Y/n) leaned back in her seat looking at Spencer, who sat next to her. “What do you think?” He seemed to gather his thoughts for a moment. “I mean there is some evidence but it’s all very speculative.” He looked at her for a second and he swore he saw a glint of disappointment in them but then it was gone. “But who knows,” He added quickly “maybe Soulmate are real, it’s a nice thought that there could be someone out there who has such a special connection to you.”

(Y/n) nodded. “But how is that even supposed to work? What if I do have a soulmate but I like someone else? Or I have a family or something?” “There are platonic soulmates as well, you know.” He gave her a small smile. For some reason this gave him comfort. Spencer wasn’t one to indulge in fantasies and he was decidedly to pragmatic to dream of his soulmate but if he had to chose someone it would be (Y/n). The probability of her liking him in a romantic way was even lower than her being his soulmate so the option of platonic soulmates eased his mind, even if just for a bit. He shoved those thought in the back of his head, he didn’t like to dwell on daydreams.

“Well, if some random guy walked in tomorrow and it turned out he was my soulmate, I’d still want to stay with you.” She said, decidedly, not really thinking about the implication. When she caught herself it was already too late. Spencer let out a small laugh. “You don’t have to stay with me, believe me you won’t want to when you find them.” “Shut up, more likely than not I don’t have one anyway, so I guess you’re stuck with me.”

Spencer let out another small laugh, but his heart sank a bit. If he was being honest with himself it was one of his greatest fears. That one day, (Y/n) would walk into the BAU and announce she’ found the one and she would quit to spend her life with them. He couldn’t bare the thought of someone taking her away from him. But this was totally normal for a friendship as deep as theirs, right?

After a while Spencer got up to get himself a cup of coffee. Elle and Morgan were still fighting, JJ had taken Elle’s side, Hotch just listened and Gideon sat by a window rereading the case file. No one was paying attention when it happened. Spencer had gotten distracted by something Elle had said to Morgan and almost tripped, a cup of hot coffee in his hand. As she saw the scene unravel before her, (Y/n) felt the burn on her hand. It took her every ounce of self-control not to make a sound. Spencer hissed and sat down next to her again. He handed her the coffee so he could clean up his hand with a napkin.

(Y/n) stared at him, her mind running a hundred miles per hour. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. Spencer shot her a concerned look. “(Y/n) are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She stood up. “Excuse me for a second, I don’t feel so well, must’ve been the food or something.” She walked to the bathroom without looking back. After she closed the door behind her she sank to the ground with her back against the door.

(Y/n) felt panic rise in her chest. This was not possible. Sure there had been moments when she’d suspected something was up but she had always dismissed it but now it was so obvious there was no denying it. She felt tears of frustration gather in her eyes. As if everything hadn’t been already complicated enough. Not just did she have feelings for Spencer but now she knew almost certainly that they were also soulmates. She felt anger build up. Whoever came up with this soulmate stuff had been a real asshole. She would have been perfectly happy with not having a soulmate and just having Spencer by her side. What if he didn’t want to be her soulmate? Had there ever been a case where one of them just wasn’t into it? Shouldn’t there have been some signs from his part that he felt more for her? But then she remembered what he had said abut platonic soulmates and her stomach sank. Maybe he had known all along, and he’d just been giving her hints that they could just be friends.

Maybe they could make a deal somehow, they didn’t have to spend the rest of their lives together if he didn’t want to. She had resigned herself to not having a soulmate a long time ago, she didn’t need him.

She buried her face in her hands. Suddenly all those thoughts were gone and what remained was a heavy emptiness. There was no good solution for this, and she couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever. She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror to see how good her poker-face was after just having gone through the seven stages of grief in under 5 minutes.

As she walked back into the sitting area, she was greeted by Spencer’s worried looks. “Everything ok?” She sat down next to him. “Yeah, everything is fine.” “You don’t look so well, are you sure everything is ok?” He put his hand on her forehead to feel her temperature. His hand was cold on her warm face. Her breath hitched in her throat from the sudden touch and she had to fight the urge to close her eyes. She gave him a soft look. “I’m fine, Spencer, I promise.” His touch lingered for a second before he retracted his hand.

“You know you can’t lie to me.” He gave her a small smile. In a sudden burst of confidence she put her hand on his. “It’s alright, I’ll talk to you if I need to, don’t worry about me.” His hand wrapped around hers and he gave her a little squeeze. (Y/n) almost got sick from the explosion of butterflies in her stomach. Until now she’d attributed these strong physical reactions when they touched to the fact that she had a crush on him but looking back she couldn’t remember experiencing something like this with anyone else. Working with Spencer would be a real challenge, now that she had not one but two secrets.

Chapter 2

“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.” – Mark Twain

(Y/n) had a hard time concentrating from the moment they got off the jet. She felt like moving in a dream as they checked in with the local PD, going over the case again, went to the last crime scene. Only when she entered the expensive suite, she felt like shook her awake. The champagne-colored furniture was covered in dark red blood. But it was not the image that snapped her back to reality, it was the smell, it was always the smell that got to her.

The bodies were no longer in the room, but they had been laying here at least three days before anyone even noticed. One of the detectives turned to her when he saw her going pale. “Ma’am is everything alright?” “Yes, I just...excuse me, I just need a minute.”

(Y/n) stumbled out of the expensive hotel room into the corridor. She had trouble breathing and her hands started to sweat profusely. She knew the symptoms, that didn’t make it any less bad. When she reached a side corridor, she slid down the wall. She tried to remember what she knew about panic attacks. Breath. In, out, in and out again.

A pair of shoes came into her field of vision. She didn’t need to look up, to know it was Spencer. He was the only FBI agent she knew of that wore converse. Without a word he sat down next to her, back to the wall. She heard him breath slowly. She knew he was doing it so she could synchronize with him and after a while the panic had subsided.

“Are you better now?” (Y/n) nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” “What happened in there? You’ve seen worse before, what is it?”

She didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t just the fact that she had just figured out they were soulmates; it was something else. Their unsub was actively seeking out and killing what he thought were soulmates. She had been the unsubs ‘type’ before but now it wasn’t just about her, it was about Spencer too. She felt bad for withholding information like this. He didn’t even know he was a potential target. She wanted to tell him, tell him to be careful but something wouldn’t let her. Fear of rejection loomed over her like a dark cloud.

“I don’t know, Spence...I’ve just had a rough week, I guess.” “I know you’re not telling me the truth.” He put his fingers under her chin to make her look up at him. “I want to help you, but you need to tell me what is going on with you.”

There was nothing but kindness and goodness in his eyes. She wanted to tell him so bad. “I thought we weren’t supposed to profile each other.” She gave him a small smile to signal him she wasn’t mad about it. Spencer frowned.

“I’m serious, somethings not right and I need to know what it is. It doesn’t need a profiler to see somethings eating at you, it just takes a good friend.”

(Y/n) stood up. “Come on, we don’t have time for this now, we have a crime scene to profile.” She held out her hand to help him get up. He let out a sight and took it.

Back at the police station the team presented their profile but (Y/n) didn’t hear a single word. Her gaze was fixed on Spencer as he spoke. All she could process was the way he talked, how he moved his hands a s he gesticulated and the way he looked with his messy hair and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows.

This was getting out of hand. Until now she had at least been able to do her job properly. Only when Hotch had called her name out for the third time her mind returned to reality. “Agent would you please tell the officers what our next step will be?” “Yes, of course, I’m sorry.” She gathered her thoughts for a second before standing up in front of the precinct. “Our best shot is going undercover and try to attract the unsubs attention. We will have two agents pose as a soulmate couple. We know that the unsub doesn’t stay at the same hotel for too long. We also know that he probably targets these couple at special events. Based on the profile we gave you he will appear sophisticated and he probably has some friends in high places. He will be successful in his career as to compensate his feelings of inadequacy regarding his personal life. He has to have some connections, otherwise we would find these victims much faster. He’s paying people to keep their mouth shut.

Tomorrow there will be a fund raiser at the Bellagio. There will be a lot of people and because of the nature of the event there will most certainly be a lot of couples, people usually don’t go alone to those things. This means our unsub will be there. The last victims were found today and killed three days ago; he’s looking for is next victims.”

She could still feel Spencer’s eyes on her when she sat back down. The crowd dissolved slowly. The BAU gathered around one of the desks.

“I think we all agree to send (Y/n) and Spencer as our soulmate couple.” Hotch said and shot them both a look. If (Y/n) hadn’t been so taken by surprise by Hotch’s proposal she would have noticed Spencer blushing lightly. Did they figure it out? Was that why Hotch had chosen them? No, it couldn’t be. Logically, they were the best match. They worked very well together, none of them would pose a great physical threat to the unsub and they were close after all. It wouldn’t be hard to make it believable. (Y/n) almost let out a laugh. Of course, it wouldn’t be hard. She wouldn’t even have to pretend.

“Are you ok with this?” Hotch asked. Both nodded. There really was no good reason to say no.

Spencer sat in front of the case files, but he couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t stop thinking about (Y/n) and how strangely she was acting. Maybe he had crossed a line and made her uncomfortable? He tried his best to keep a respectful distance, but it got harder every day. It

was almost as if she attracted him like a magnet. It felt so right when they touched hands or when she would brush his hair out of his face when he was too caught up in something else.

He loved to hear her talk. And he loved it when she listened to him. She never seemed to get bored of anything he had to say. Ever. She’d been awfully quiet the entire day. Something was up, he could feel it but for some reason he couldn’t read her. He knew that she would get fidgety when she was nervous, he knew that she carried herself with caution, she had been hurt by people in the past. He knew that she would cover her insecurities with little jokes, and he knew that she had a hard time opening up to people sometimes. But for the love of god, he did not know how she felt about him, and he didn’t know what was wrong with her right now. Some things she held to close to her heart for anyone to see, even him.

Spencer wanted to tell her that she could tell him anything and he wished she would believe him. There was a longing in his heart he couldn’t explain, and he didn’t know what to do about it. His fear was paralyzing him. He’d been hurt before too. For the time being he was content with the little he got, the quick glances when she thought he wasn’t looking, the way she laughed at his jokes and the way she made him feel like their friendship was something special. All team members were close, but he would be the first one she would talk to in the morning and the last one to wave goodbye in the evening. She was always there.

Spencer jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Are you coming? We’re checking into the hotel. Or are you to busy dreaming about our little Miss Commitment Issues?” Morgan teased and walked past Spencer. “I’m not – she doesn’t have – I’m coming wait up!” He grabbed his jacket and the files before following Morgan out the door.

The hotel was almost booked out. Hotch stood at the reception, arguing with the woman working there. “I don’t care that you don’t have enough rooms, we booked in advance!” She didn’t seem too bothered. She looked up from her phone for a moment.

“I’m sorry mister, that’s how it is, can’t throw the guests out that have already checked in. Should’ve come earlier.”

Hotch slammed his hand on the counter. “Listen here, I can get you fired in the blink of an eye. Get us our rooms, now!” His voice was calm but anyone who knew Hotch knew not to mess with him when he talked like this. The receptionist seemed to sense it too. “Ok, ok. I have a few rooms left but you’ll have to partner up.”

“Just give me the keys.”

(Y/n) and Spencer looked at each other like to school friends look at each other when the teacher says you can choose your partner for a project. It was understood they would share a room. But when (Y/n) turned the key around and entered their room she wanted to turn around and never come back.

“It’s just a-a queen size bed.” She stuttered. They stood side by side in silence. There was no couch, no armchair. Finally, Spencer spoke up. “It’s ok I can take the floor.”

(Y/n) gave him a light slap on the arm with the back of her hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can share unless you’re so uncomfortable with me you’d rather take the floor.” The last part had been meant as a joke, but Spencer began to stammer. “No, no of course not – I’d love to sleep with you – I mean share a bed.” His face was getting redder by the second.

It took her all her strength not to laugh. “Calm down, Spencer.” She gave him a reassuring smile. He seemed to let out a breath he’d been holding. He was so cute when he got flustered, she thought. She would like to see him like this more often if she didn’t know how much it stressed him out.

“I’m gonna go change.” She said pointing at the bathroom. “Y-yeah go ahead.” “Thanks for your permission.” She gave him another smile but this time she was teasing him. “I didn’t mean –” “I’m just messing with you.”

Spencer sat on the edge of the bed while (Y/n) was in the bathroom changing. He tried to calm himself down. His hands were shaking ever so slightly. There was no way she would ever want to be with a nervous wreck like him. Just like that one time Lila Archer had kissed him in the pool. He had predicted very accurately that she had only shown interest in him because of his role as protector. It had been too good to be true. He had become more cautious since then. His heart wouldn’t open as easily. But if he was being honest with himself it was already too late. He couldn’t even pretend (Y/n) had slipped in slowly and quietly. She had kicked the door in the first time he saw her and then she had made her home in his heart, barricading herself inside.

When (Y/n) came out of the bathroom her hair was damp. He hadn’t even heard the shower. There was something so endearing about seeing her like this, fresh out of the shower in an oversized FBI training t-shirt, something so domestic. “You’re turn.” She nodded at him. It took him a second to react before he stood up and followed her example of showering and changing into something more comfortable.

Later that night they laid side by side in the dark. The only light source were the colorful lights of Sin City. (Y/n) turned her head to look at Spencer. She could only make out his silhouette in the dark. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He turned his head towards her too. “For acting so weird. You’re right there’s something wrong but I don’t know if I want to talk about it yet.” (Y/n) felt her throat close. “It’s just...I’m really anxious about the undercover mission tomorrow and that never happened to me before...” She tried to control herself, but she couldn’t help but let out a small sob. “I’ve never chickened out before.”

Spencer didn’t know what to do. He had never seen (Y/n) cry before. “You’re not gonna chicken out, it’s normal to be anxious about these things. And...and you don’t have to worry because you’re not alone. I’ll be by your side the entire time, ok?” (Y/n) nodded but then she remembered he couldn’t see her.

“Ok...thank you. Just promise me you won’t put yourself in danger, ok? I don’t know what is up with me I’ve never been like this before a mission...I’m worried about you and I have a really bad feeling, I can feel it in my gut, you know?”

Spencer didn’t respond immediately, instead his fingers found the hem of her sleeve and tugged at it. (Y/n) understood and closed the distance between them until Spencer had his arms wrapped around her. “Is this ok?” He asked, almost regretting having been so bold.

“Yeah, this is nice.” She could feel him take a deep breath and relax. She felt his heartbeat against her back and her own heart began to beat faster.

Spencer almost couldn’t believe his luck. The faint smell of the shampoo in her hair made him dizzy. He never wanted to let her go ever again. “Spencer?” Her voice trembled. “Hm?”

“I need to tell you something...”

Chapter 3

Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. (Y/n) turned around in his arms until she faced him. She had never been so close to him. He tried to study her face, but the darkness was making it hard. “What is it?” He asked cautiously. “I think it’s better if I show you.” He watched her as she raised her hands in front of him. When she pinched the back of one of her hands, he could feel it. He stared at her for a second. He felt the realization dawn on him. His mind short circuited and a quiet “Oh” escaped him.

(Y/n) felt her face heat up. She retreated hastily from Spencer’s arms to sit up with her back against the headboard. After 2 minutes Spencer still hadn’t said anything. “I-I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said anything.” (Y/n) stood up. Now she felt stupid. Suddenly she felt like she was intruding. “I’m just gonna...” She pointed at the door and before leaving in a hurry. Spencer wanted to say something, but the words never left his mouth.

Before he could gather his thoughts, she was gone. It all made sense now. He couldn’t believe she had caught it before him, how could he not notice it until now? His first instinct was to run after her but what if she didn’t want to see him? Maybe she hadn’t told him because she didn’t want to be his soulmate. The only reason she had told him at all had to be the undercover mission tomorrow. Full disclosure so he knew what he was getting himself into.

Had something like this happened before? He tried to remember every single thing he had ever read or heard about soulmates but there was nothing. Another thought crept up on him. She knew when he was having nightmares, every night he had woken up covered in sweat, she had shared with him. Somehow, he wanted to apologize for that. She had to have been in so much pain because of him.

(Y/n) didn’t come back for the rest of the night. She had probably spent the night in Elle and JJ’s room. Spencer needed to talk to her before they started the mission but through the entire day, he couldn’t get her alone. He was almost sure she was avoiding him.

Some time in the evening they were getting ready for the fundraiser. The first time he saw her again was in front of the Bellagio. He wanted to say something, but they were wearing wires and he didn’t know if she’d told Elle or JJ about the soulmate thing, not to mention that the entire Las Vegas PD didn’t have to know about their personal issues.

(Y/n) couldn’t help but give him a small smile when she saw Spencer in his tuxedo. She had never seen Spencer dressed up like this before. “You eh, you look good.” She didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. “Thanks, you too.”

“Guys you need to step your game up if you want to make it believable for the unsub. You look like two teens going to a school dance.” Morgan’s voice rang through their earpieces.

“Shut up, Derek, next time you can go undercover.”

She took the lead and walked into the entrance hall. Spencer walked behind her and in a moment of braveness he put his hand on the small of her back. She flinched under his touch but before he could take it back, she eased into the touch. There was too much on the line to let personal issues get in the way of the mission.

For the rest of the night, they walked around, watching people, trying to identify the unsub, to no avail. The tension was killing them. “Ok, this is getting ridiculous, we won’t get picked if we keep going on like this.��� Spencer took (Y/n)’s hand and dragged her into an empty hallway. Before she knew what was happening, he had muted both of their mics.

“We need to talk about this. I’m sorry, I didn’t say anything yesterday I was just...” “Shocked?” She interrupted him. “I get it, can we go back to the mission now?”

She was already about to go back when he grabbed her hand and dragged her back. “Look, I get it, I’m not what you had hoped for in a soulmate, but you need to get your shit together.” (Y/n)’s eyebrows were furrowed. “What the hell are you talking about, if there would be anyone I would chose as a soulmate, it would be you!” “You’re not...you’re not mad?” “No, I’m not mad, I thought you were the one unhappy with this whole thing.” “Why would I be? If there’s anyone who should be unhappy, it’s you. You’re way out of my league –” “Oh my god, Spencer just shut up.” She cracked a smile. “You’re my best friend, why would I spend so much time with you, if I didn’t like you?”

He looked at her for a second. “I...I don’t know.” “Look at me.” She took his face in between her hands. “Don’t you ever say that you’re not good enough ever again.”

Spencer never wanted to kiss her more than it that moment. His eyes wandered to the hall again and then he saw it. “That’s him.” (Y/n) was still caught up in the moment. “What?”

“Our unsub, that’s him!” “Are you sure?” “Yes, now come on.”

They turned their mics back on. “Reid? What happened?” Morgan questioned but he didn’t get an answer. “We have our unsub, it’s the guy in the dark grey suit by the champagne fountain.” (Y/n) whispered. “We have a visual. Try to get near him.” “Roger that.”

As they walked out of the hallway Spencer placed his hand around (Y/n)’s waist. Her heart was beating faster again. They made sure to be in the unsub’s field of view when Spencer took her hand. “Wanna dance?”

(Y/n) just nodded, she felt her cheeks heat up and she hoped Spencer wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, he was still a profiler and so he bent down to whisper in her ear. “You know you’re cute when you blush.” The red on her face only intensified. “You know they can hear us.”

They heard a laugh from Morgan. “Yeah, we can, looks like our boy’s got moves, careful (Y/n).” Spencer gave her a smile before taking her to the dancefloor.

“I didn’t know you could dance.” (Y/n) whispered as they swayed to the music. “I’m full of surprises, what can I say.” He hadn’t stopped smiling at her the whole time. Her arms wrapped a little tighter around his neck as she laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beat fast and she could smell his cologne. She raised her head slightly so that her nose grazed his neck. She felt him shudder lightly as if he was getting goosebumps.

“Guys he’s approaching you.” As soon as Morgan had alerted them, they heard a voice.

“I’m sorry to intrude like this. But you two just looked so beautiful together. Can I buy you a drink?”

(Y/n) had to peel herself away from Spencer. She never wanted to let him go again. “Sure, thank you, Sir.” She gave him a smile.

The man was a bit older than they had expected. The rest was dead on. He looked sophisticated enough with his expensive suit and his well-groomed physical appearance. The three of them sat down at the bar.

“So, what are you two lovebirds doing here? I can tell you’re not from Vegas.” He took a sip from his Whiskey. (Y/n) had to squeeze Spencer’s hand under the bar before he could open his mouth and correct the unsub, that he was, in fact, “from Vegas”. Instead (Y/n) took the word.

“Well, I know you’re not supposed to brag about this stuff but...” She gave Spencer an endearing look that instantly melted his heart. “We just found out we were soulmates and we wanted to get married as fast as possible and what better place than Las Vegas, the City of Marriage, right?”

The man eyed both of them for a moment. (Y/n) had never felt so exposed in her life. She wanted nothing more than shove her gun into this guy’s face and arrest him right then and there, but they had to wait. He had to take them to the hotel room, they had no concrete evidence yet.

“Congratulations you two. I hope I’m not overstepping here but would it be alright to give you a wedding gift?”

“That is so kind of you, right honey?” She looked at Spencer who forgot for a second the situation they were in. His mind had tripped over itself when he heard her call him “honey”. “Right, right, very kind.” He had to tear his eyes away from her. “I want to pay for a night in a suite, the most expensive in Las Vegas.”

“We would love that, but can I ask why?” (Y/n) asked. They couldn’t be too willing to come along with him or he would get suspicious.

The man let out a theatrical sigh before downing the rest of his Whiskey. “I lost my wife a few years ago and I want to do something good for such a sweet couple like you.” They both knew that was a blatant lie. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Spencer watched (Y/n) play her role with perfection.

“Let’s not talk about me, this is your special night. The car is waiting outside.”

With every step they took (Y/n)’s bad feeling only got worse. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, but something was off. When they got into the car, she heard the doors lock and panic began to spread. She tried to calm herself down. The team knew where they were, and they would follow them to the hotel where they could finally arrest this guy. She felt Spencer’s fingers slip between hers. She tried to put on a smile but then she saw the man’s face and her blood froze. He knew.

“How funny...” He spoke. His smile made her skin crawl. “The FBI send me an actual pair of soulmates.” (Y/n) let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know what you mean.” He pulled out a gun and pointed it at her. Spencer wanted to make a move, but the man shot him a look. “If you move, she’s dead.”

(Y/n) could hear Morgan’s voice in her ear. “They’ve been compromised we need to get them out now!” “Your microphones and earpieces please.” The man held out his hand. They had no choice. Hesitantly they took them off and handed them to him. (Y/n) could only watch in horror as the man took them and put the microphone to his mouth. “You can collect your agent’s bodies in a few days.” As soon as he had stopped talking, he crushed the devices.

(Y/n) prayed that the team would find them in time. She could feel how she began to lose it. Spencer felt it too. He squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine, they’re gonna find us.” The man laughed. “They will, but by then it will already be too late. I’m gonna have so much fun with the two of you.”

She felt Spencer’s hand wipe away some tears from her cheeks. She hadn’t even noticed she had started to cry.

They arrived at the hotel with no interruptions. (Y/n) knew he had shook the surveillance. As soon as they entered the luxurious suite, (Y/n) was just seconds away from a breakdown. There was no way out anymore. It would take the team an eternity before they found them.

There were about 150.000 hotel rooms in Las Vegas. There was no way they’d be found in time.

(Y/n) fell to her knees. “This is all my fault, I’m so sorry Spencer.” He kneeled next to her, putting an arm around her. “This is not your fault, why would you say that?” “Because I was so distracted. I haven’t been able to focus, I should’ve said something, and we should have sent someone who could do their job properly.” “Look at me.” Spencer cupped her face with his hands. “This is not your fault, do you understand?” She let out a sob. “We’re gonna die...” “We’re gonna be fine, I’m right here, ok? I’m right here with you.”

The man had sat on one of the armchairs, two security guards by his side. “I can assure you that the other agents wouldn’t have been chosen. I know the difference between real and fake soulmates.” Spencer looked up. “How?” He saw the man’s face turn into a grimace.

“Because I can recognize an abomination of nature when I see one.”

(Y/n) let out another sob. Spencer turned his attention back to her. “(Y/n), breath, look at me.” He saw the terror in her eyes. “Look at me, we will get out of here.” She nodded but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. He had never seen her this scared. They had been through some bad stuff in the past but never had he seen her lose her cool. Something was very, very wrong.

Chapter 4

Everyone on the team was on edge. Morgan’s forehead was covered in sweat. Gideon was standing right behind him, Elle and Garcia sitting just a few feet away.

“How funny...” They heard the unsub’s voice. Something was not right. “The FBI sent me an actual pair of soulmates.”

They exchanged concerned looks. “What is he talking about?” Morgan turned around to look at the others. Garcia shrugged. “She never said anything to me. Do you think that’s what they were talking about earlier when the mics were off?” Gideon’s brows were furrowed. “Could be. Regardless we need to help them.” “They’ve been compromised we need to get them out now!” Morgan addressed the swat team.

Before they could do anything else, they heard the unsubs voice again. “You can collect your agent’s bodies in a few days.”

The horror in Garcia’s eyes grew before the signal died. “We need to do something now!”

A few hours had passed. The unsub, whose name turned out to be Rory Marshall, had left them alone in the suite. There was no phone, and the door was locked. One look out of the window told them they were at least on the 30th floor. There was no escape. Even if they managed to figure out what hotel they were in, they had no way of communicating with the team.

Spencer had gotten (Y/n) through another panic attack. Now she was sitting on the floor with her back leaning against an armchair. Spencer sat right next to her while holding her hand. After a while he moved his position to sit in front of her. He took her other hand too. “(Y/n) look at me.”

She raised her head. The color had drained out of her face. Her eyes were wide open and red. “I know this is very stressful.” Spencer continued. “But we will get through this. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that; none of this is you’re fault. If anyone is at fault, it’s that unsub who is killing people.” “Spencer? What is going to happen to us?”

They both had seen the victims. They both knew what he had done to them. Spencer didn’t need to answer. There was no need to remind (Y/n) of the cruelty that had taken place in the other suites.

Spencer cupped her face in his hands. “Do you remember the Luxor Hotel? The one that looks like a pyramid with the light beam coming out of it?”

“Yes I remember.” “Did you know that the light attracts so many insects that it has established a new ecosystem with moths, bats and owls.” (Y/n) started at him for a second before she realized what he was doing. A small smile made it’s way on her face. Spencer caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “And did you know that bats can live more than 30 years?” Her eyes became glassy as she scooted closer to him. “And did you know that they can fly at up to 60 mph, in fact the Mexican free-tailed bat can reach up to 100 mph, making it the fastest mammal on earth.”

(Y/n) was so close to him, their noses almost touched. Spencer’s heart began to beat faster. His hands were still on her face. He wanted to pull her closer and kiss the pain away. His eyes flickered to her lips and then back to her eyes. “Thank you, Spencer.” She whispered.

Before she could close the distance between them, the door opened with a bang. The sound made them jump and separate.

Marshall walked in with a grin on his face. “Look at you lovebirds, I hope I’m not intruding.” (Y/n)’s eyes fell on the suitcase in his hand. Two other men followed Marshall into the room. Both were armed. Marshall gave one of them a signal. The man left and came back with two chairs and rope. (Y/n) felt her stomach cramp and the thought what was going to follow. Her and Spencer didn’t move. The other two men left, leaving them alone with Marshall.

“I really didn’t want to interrupt.” he spoke. (Y/n) shot Spencer a quick glance. None of them spoke. She could see Marshall’s facial expression change slowly but surely. The self-assured, mocking look was being replaced by impatience, anger and aggression. “Go on.” He continues while pulling out his gun. “Go on, Dr. Reid, do what you were about to do!”

Spencer looked at (Y/n) but he still didn’t move. He could see the tears gather in her eyes. “I said do it!” Marshall shouted. He was losing it. There was nothing left of his cocky grin. Instead, his face was distorted into a grimace. “Do it or I’ll shoot her right now.”

Spencer straightened his back. “You won’t. You need her, you need us both for your revenge fantasy.” “Do you want to test me?” There was something absolutely insane in Marshall’s eyes. The clicking of the safety being disabled rang through the room. “I said do it.” He was calm again but there was something in his voice that made (Y/n)’s stomach turn.

“It’s ok.” She whispered to Spencer. He didn’t look half as calm as he looked an hour ago. He cupped her cheeks again. “You’re going to be fine; I promise.” He pulled her in until his lips were on hers. They tasted salty from her tears, but they were soft. For a moment he forgot where they were. He had wanted to kiss her for so long. She melted into him, grabbing his dress shirt to pull him even closer. The urgency in her movement almost drove him insane.

“Get in the chairs.” Marshall’s voice interrupted their moment. Spencer pulled away, locking eyes with (Y/n). Her cheeks were flushed and there was a glint in her eyes.

The ropes rubbed against her wrists and ankles. They were too tight to move. Marshall paced in front of them. He had opened the suitcase on a small coffee table. (Y/n) didn’t need to be an expert to know it was full of torture instruments. Every fiber in her body wanted to run when he pulled out a big hunting knife and walked towards her.

“Don’t touch her!” Spencer struggled against his constraints. “Leave her alone!” Marshall let out a laugh. “You know it doesn’t matter which one I chose you’ll both feel it.” He pretended to ponder for a moment before he continued talking. “I still think I’ll start with her. How does it feel not to be able to do anything to help her?” He shot Spencer a look. That shit-eating grin had returned to his face.

He turned to (Y/n). “Where do we start?” He lazily dragged the blade across her collarbone before making a cut. (Y/n) hissed. She felt something warm drip down her chest. Involuntarily she remembered that the killer would spare her face like he had with all his other victims. Her best guess was that he liked to look at them when he had his fun with them after they were dead.

Marshall made another cut, right under the first one. (Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut. Her jaw tensed as she tried not to make a sound. She heard Spencer inhale sharply. She remembered, Rory Marshall wasn’t hurting just her, he was hurting Spencer too. She would have given anything to protect him. If he would hurt only her, she could endure it knowing he spared Spencer, but this wasn’t the case.

The only thing she could protect him from right now was the first hand experience of being tortured and hopefully the mental scars that would remain. She knew she could handle it, for Spencer. He didn’t deserve this, any of it. She just should’ve told Hotch about the soul mate thing and they could have prepared differently. But now it was too late for that and minute to minute the pain made it harder to think.

There was a loud ringing in her ears and her mind was in a fog. After a while she couldn’t hold back the cries. She didn’t want to give Marshall the satisfaction, but it was too much. As if that wasn’t enough, she could hear Spencer too. She didn’t know how much time had passed when Marshall finally backed away from her. Her whole body was sore, and her cloths were damp from her own blood. She struggled to keep her eyes open, but she kept staring back at Marshall. It took her a moment to realize, why he had stepped away from her. His phone was ringing. He took a look at the display before letting out a groan and answering.

“What!? I’m busy.” He snapped. Silence followed. “Alright I’ll be there, give me half an hour.” Then he hung up. “Sorry, kids, I’ve got places to be but don’t worry, I’ll be back.” Before leaving the room and locking the door, he undid Spencer’s ropes.

As soon as they were alone Spencer jumped from his chair rushed over to (Y/n). He still felt the echoes of her pain, but it wasn’t half as bad as the pain she was going through. While his body was intact, hers was cut and bruised. He tried to untie her, but his fingers were trembling too badly.

“Are you ok?” Spencer looked up in surprise as he heard her talk. A nervous laugh left his throat. “You’re asking me if I’m alright?” She nodded. “He hurt you too, didn’t he?” “It’s ok, it’s fading.” That wasn’t entirely true. He still felt the sting of the cuts. He took a deep breath and started to undo the ropes. Finally, the knots loosened.

“Can you stand?” He asked. (Y/n) shook her head. “Ok, I’m going to help you get to the bathroom, we need to clean you’re cuts.” He managed to get his arm under her to give her some support. After ten painful minutes they reached the bathtub. Spencer unzipped her dress. “Is this ok?” (Y/n) just nodded absentmindedly. He left her underwear on and sat her into the tub. He found a towel, held it under warm water and proceeded to clean her up. She watched him with half lidded eyes as he carefully dabbed the cloth over her wounds.

“This is not how I imagined you seeing me naked for the first time.” The ghost of a smile appeared on her face. Spencer paused for a moment to look at her. “You imagined that?” A tint of pink appeared on her pale face.

“I know you find it hard to believe, that girls think about you that way, but they do. I do.” Spencer stared at her. He hadn’t realized she really liked him like that.

“How did you imagine it?” He asked as he continued to clean her. As much as he wanted to know, he also needed to get her mind off what was happening right now. She shot him another look. “Wouldn’t you like to know, lover-boy?”

He let out a laugh. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

After a moment of silence, she spoke up. She didn’t look at him. Instead, her gaze was fixed on the marble floor of the bathroom. “I don’t know. Maybe we both would have been working late and there was no one else except us. And I would walk over to your desk to ask you something and of course you’d know the answer. You always know the answer to anything. I’d listen to you talk...I love when you talk...” She looked so tired. “And I wouldn’t be able to keep it to myself anymore and I would tell you how I felt about you...and you’d kiss me and I would kiss you back...” She hissed as he cleaned on especially deep cut.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” His worried eyes found hers. “Yeah, I’m fine.” “I’m sorry.” He repeated and placed a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled back, she looked at him with wide eyes. “Can you do it again?” “What?” “Can you kiss me, like you did before?”

Spencer searched her face for a sign of what was going on in her head. Her telling him about what she imagined him doing to her and asking him to kiss her did things to him. Things, he

hadn’t experienced before. He didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t want to take advantage of her vulnerable state, but he felt like she needed him.

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead again but before he could, she grabbed his face and pulled him down. “I meant like this.” She whispered before closing the distance between them and capturing his lips. The smell of his cologne still lingered, she needed it like oxygen. She needed him. She placed several more desperate kisses on his lips before pulling back to look at him. A second later Spencer’s hands were on her cheek and on her neck to pull her back again into another kiss. He had imagined this a hundred times but the reality of her soft and lips against his finally made him understand what Edgar Allan Poe had meant by “We loved with a love that was more than love”.

He felt her shiver. He pulled back. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He helped her out of the tub. After he had dried her and given her one of the bathrobes, he helped her into bed.

(Y/n) was tired...so tired. Her head was spinning but she knew she wouldn’t be able to get any sleep. “Can you stay with me?” She asked. “Of course.” He sat down on the bed. Her eyes wandered over his figure. He had taken of the tuxedo, so he was left with the white dress shirt. He had rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, just the way she liked it. The shirt was stained with her blood and it took her back to this reality.

“You know he does this on purpose.” Spencer’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” “He gives us so much time alone, so we get closer and it’s even more painful when does those things to us.” “I don’t care, I won’t leave you alone. Also, we must find a way out of here.” “There is no way out. We have to pray the team finds us before it’s too late.” “There has to be a way out. And we’ll find it. Try to get some rest now.” “I can’t sleep.” “You haven’t even tried yet.” “But I know I can’t.” “But you have to. Pain tolerance is reduced by sleep deprivation.”

(Y/n) shot him a look. “Thanks for the heads up.” Spencer slipped under the blanket and laid an arm around her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. She felt the vibrations through his chest as he began to talk again. “Randy Gradner holds the record for the longest period without sleep. It was 11 days and 25 minutes. He set the record in 1964 when he was only 17. They monitored his health. He had problems concentrating and struggled with paranoia and hallucinations. On the last day he was asked to subtract 7 repeatedly starting with 100. He stopped at 65, when asked why, he said he’d forgotten what he was doing...”

(Y/n) didn’t hear the rest, Spencer’s voice had lulled her to sleep. He felt her shallow but regular breath on his neck. He closed his eyes. He would get her out of here.

Chapter 5

(Y/n) woke up exhausted. They didn’t sleep much. When they woke up it was still dark outside. It took her a second to realize what had woken her up. The door had been opened very loudly and her and Spencer were dragged into the living room area. They were tied to the chairs again. The ropes burned against her already bruised wrists and ankles. To their surprise the two men who had tied them up left. They were alone again.

(Y/n) turned to Spencer. “Please tell me you have a plan. We need to get out fast. If Marshall stays on track, we have less than 48 hours.” Spencer’s brows were furrowed. She could practically hear his mind work. “We need to check the windows if they open. Maybe we can get some sort of sign outside.”

“What if it doesn’t work, what’s our plan B?” “Currently we don’t have a plan B...”

They sat there almost 4 hours before Marshall entered the room. He looked exhausted. (Y/n) felt a twinge of hope. The FBI knew his identity, there was no way he could hide for much longer. “You know, they’ll catch you. You won’t get away with this.” She said.

Marshall turned around at her with a surprised look on his face. “I thought I had messed you up pretty good last night. And you’re still talking back.” He gave her a smile that made her skin crawl. “Maybe this time I’ll try your little boyfriend.” (Y/n) saw the blood drain from Spencer’s face but his expression didn’t change. She knew he was stronger than most people would give him credit for. She wasn’t most people but the thought of him getting tortured made her sick. It wasn’t about the fact that she would feel it too, seeing Spencer in pain was almost worse.

“So, what’s your deal?” She asked. Anything to get him talking, to figure out why he was killing these people. Marshall let out a laugh. “So brave today, aren’t we?” “Why do you keep killing soulmates? Feeling lonely? Didn’t mommy give you enough love when you were a kid?” She saw his smile fade. “Or what, maybe you were in love and she turned you down because she had found her soulmate?” Bull’s eye. His face turned into a grimace again.

“Shut your mouth!” He raised his hand to slap her, but he caught himself just in time. For a second he seemed to try to get his rage under control. Then he leaned down to whisper into her ear. “You’re nothing but a filthy whore and by the time you get out of here there will be almost nothing left of you to identify the body.”

(Y/n) held her breath. She had gained precious information. His main target were the women. He was projecting his abandonment on them. The men were just there because it made the whole ordeal more painful. He had raped the women after their death to regain power, power over the soulmate bond.

“You’ll always be alone, killing and raping these women will never compare to a true connection and you know it.” (Y/n) said. Spencer stared at her. She wasn’t interrogating anymore; she was making him angry. And then it clicked. “(Y/n) stop.” He shot her a pleading look. But she didn’t pay him any mind but instead continued.

“So, how did she break it to you? Did she at least tell you in person?” Marshall took on the color of a plum. “Oh.” A cold laugh escaped her lips. “She didn’t. You weren’t even worth telling face to face.”

“SHUT UP!” Marshall grabbed a glass from the coffee table and threw it at (Y/n). She managed to dodge it and it shattered on the wall behind her.

Spencer began to panic. “(Y/n) stop, I know what you’re doing, stop it you’re going to get hurt!” While he was tied up, there was no way he could help her.

“Is that all you got!?” (Y/n) threw the word in Marshall’s face. His hands were trebling. “You’re ruining everything!” “Oh, am I? Am I ruining your little revenge fantasy? You know that it doesn’t matter how many people you kill; it will never be the same as the time you killed her. She couldn’t fight back, could she?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Marshall took the hunting knife in his hand making his way to (Y/n). To her surprise he didn’t cut her, but the ropes. He grabbed her arm and threw her on the ground. “I’m gonna show you fight!”

(Y/n) struggled to get on her feet. She was still weak, but the adrenaline kicked in as soon as he swung the knife in her direction. She turned her head frantically to look for something she could use as a weapon. Her eyes fell on an expensive vase. She grabbed it and threw it at him. While dodging it he lost the knife.

Everything moved in slow-motion as both made a run for it.

And then she had it, she had the knife. Her fingers curled around the handle. She raised her arm but before she could slam the blade into her attacker, she heard a gunshot.

The first thing she felt was her arm going limp. A few seconds later realization hit her and then a wave of pain washed over her. For a moment she thought she had to throw up. Her vision went blurry and the last thing she felt was a burning hot sensation and wetness on her arm. She heard Spencer yell her name before she lost consciousness.

When (Y/n) woke up again she was sitting in the chair, arms and legs tied up. The pain from her arm radiated through her entire body. She had trouble focusing. The first thing to catch her eye was Spencer whose gaze was fixed on her.

“Oh, thank god you’re awake!” She had never heard him sound this scared. “(Y/n) look at me.” Her head was heavy...her eyes were heavy. “(Y/n) look at me.” She managed to raise

her head, so she was making eye contact. “Listen, you have lost a lot of blood and you’re still bleeding. You need to somehow put pressure on the wound. It’s in your right arm near the shoulder. Try to lean against the chair with that part of your arm. It won’t save you, but it’ll hopefully keep you from bleeding out till I can help you.”

She struggled to hold her eyes open, let alone understand what Spencer was saying to her. Another person appeared in her field of vision. “Just let me help her!” This was Spencer’s voice. “Why should I? I’ll let the bitch bleed out, it’s what she deserves and you’re gonna watch her die.” Was this the unsub’s voice?

“But this is not how you operate normally. This is not how you get your satisfaction, do you want all of this to have been for nothing? You really let one of your men take the kill-shot? She won’t die by your hand but by that guy’s.”

There was silence. After what felt like an eternity, she felt the ropes loosen around her hands and legs. She felt two familiar arms around her. Everything went dark again.

“(Y/n) can you hear me?” This was Spencer’s voice again. “Spencer...why did you put me in the tub again?” She murmured. “What are you talking about? Open your eyes, look at me.” The panic in his voice hadn’t faded. “I’m wet, why did you put me under the shower?” “I didn’t please just open your eyes.”

(Y/n) felt like her eyes were glued shut. After a struggle she finally managed to open them a bit. She was greeted with Spencer’s face hovering over her. Her eyes wandered over his figure and widened as she saw him covered in blood. She wanted to sit up but a sharp pain in her arm held her down. She hissed.

“Spencer what happened, are you hurt, why is there so much blood? Let me help you...” “Calm down, it’s not mine.” He hesitated for a second. “It’s yours. You were shot and almost bled out.” “What? What happened?” You had the knife but before you could do anything, one of the bodyguards came in and shot you, he must’ve heard the commotion.” “Are you ok?” “Will you stop asking me that? You got shot!” “Exactly! You must be in pain too.” “I’m managing, it’s not so bad.” “You’re lying.” “Please don’t worry about me, ok?” “But I do, I worry about you all the time, I know you can handle yourself, but I care about you and I don’t want you to be in pain because of me.” “It’s ok, really.”

They looked at each other for a moment. Spencer bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s focus on how we get out of here.”

“Have you checked the windows?” “They won’t open, it doesn’t surprise me though. We’re on the 30th floor, of course they’re shut.”

(Y/n) let her head fall back onto the pillow. “We’re screwed.” Spencer’s brows furrowed. “What are you thinking?” She asked. “The glass...”

“I don’t follow. The shards aren’t big enough to use as a weapon when he comes back.” “No, that’s not what I mean.”

Without saying another word, he got up and walked into the bathroom. (Y/n) heard glass shattering. “Spencer are you alright?” He came back into the room with a piece from the mirror.

“We can use this to send out an S.O.S. signal.” “How?” “Just watch.”

Spencer walked over to one of the windows. The sun shone into the room. He positioned the mirror in a certain position so that it reflected the sunlight and threw a patch of light onto the ceiling. He moved it so the light would go out of the window. He moved the shard in specific intervals.

“You’re a genius.” (Y/n) almost wanted to laugh. With a little bit of luck, someone would see the light signal. “I know.” He gave her a small smile.

Spencer repeated the pattern until the sun went down. “Now we pray someone saw that.” “Let’s hope it won’t be too late.”

He walked back to the bed. “You have to promise me something.” “What is it?”

He waited for a moment before answering. She looked awful. The bathrobe was soaked in blood, so was her hair. The parts of her skin that showed were covered in cuts and bruises. Her eyes were framed by dark circles. “Promise me you won’t make him angry again. I know you’re trying to protect me, but I wouldn’t know what to do if you sacrificed yourself so that I can get out of here.”

“I can’t promise you that.” “(Y/n), I’m serious.” She could see tears gather in his eyes. “Please...” The urgency in his voice made her heart ache.

With her good arm she reached out to put her hand on his cheek. “Alright, I promise.” Spencer closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She managed to sit up and then position herself on his lap so that she was facing him, legs hooked around him. When he looked up at her there was nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” (Y/n) whispered before leaning down to press a kiss on his lips. Spencer wrapped his arms around her waist, careful not to touch her injured arm that was now bandaged and resting in a makeshift sling. Their chests were pressed together, and she could feel his heartbeat. Her breath became heavier as her fingers made their way into his hair and she tried to pull him even closer. (Y/n)’s cheeks began to heat up. She pulled away to whisper in his ear. “I need you so bad...” She felt him shiver underneath her. She continued to kiss his neck, relishing in the small sighs that escaped his throat.

She was just about to undo the buttons to his dress shirt when he grabbed her hand. “Wait...” “What?” “You can’t do this.”

“What? Why not? I thought you...” She looked around for a few seconds, anything not to meet his gaze and stood up as fast as she could. “I – I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed...I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...I’m sorry.” Embarrassment washed over her. “I don’t know what came over me, I should’ve asked – I...”

Spencer stood up too walking towards her. She moved back and let out an insecure laugh. “I’m really sorry.” “No don’t be, it’s not that I don’t want to it’s just...” She still couldn’t look at him. “I don’t want to do this when there is a possibility that you just want this because of the circumstances. You might just be feeling about me this way because we’re in a life-or-death situation and I’m taking care of you. I don’t want this to happen just because you project these feelings onto me and regret it once we get out of here.”

(Y/n) stared at him but couldn’t say a word. Instead, Spencer continued. “It’s just, this has happened to me before, kind of, and I don’t want to...” “You don’t want to go through that again, I get it.” She slowly walked towards him. “Then we wait. But I want you to know that I’ve wanted this before we got caught up in this mess and the only things I regret are the ones I didn’t say to you sooner and that I didn’t have the courage sooner. I know this is important to you. I would wait a hundred years if that’s the time you needed. Just promise me you won’t forget me in the end.” She gave him a small smile. He smiled back and pulled her into a hug, still careful as to not to hurt her.

“I could never forget you.” “Can I still kiss you?” Spencer looked into her eyes and he knew he would never be able to say no to that. “Yes, please.” His voice barely a whisper, he cupped her cheeks and pulled her in. This kiss wasn’t desperate, it was sweet and full of unspoken promises and confessions.

Chapter 6

The BAU team had gathered around a table at the precinct. They had defeated looks on their faces. Hotch turned to look again at the wall where they had gathered their information. Morgan and Elle sat at the table, going through the casefiles again. Morgan closed the files and let the folder slap on the table.

“Hotch, please tell me we have a plan?” Hotch didn’t answer immediately. Before he could, JJ walked in. “I have news. There has been an S.O.S. signal from a hotel window at the Palazzo. It could be nothing, but it could be them, we need a SWAT team.”

Morgan jumped up. “I’ll call Garcia to see if she can find them on security footage in the lobby.” “Right, Elle and I will talk to the SWAT team, we may have to prepare for a possible hostage situation.” Hotch said and walked out, Elle right behind him.

(Y/n) and Spencer sat back-to-back with the couch, facing the window. Marshall had come back earlier and this time he hadn’t let (Y/n) distract him from Spencer. He didn’t look good. (Y/n) had taken care of his cuts, just like he had done for her.

“Tonight, is the night...” (Y/n) said while looking out the window. “It’s gonna be alright.” Spencer turned his head to her for a moment. She didn’t seem panicked anymore. She had been when Marshall had tortured Spencer, but after she had taken care of him it was like she had resigned herself to the fact that there was no way out.

“Spencer?” “Yeah?” “I need to tell you something.” “No, you don’t.” “I – I don’t?” She raised an eyebrow.

(Y/n) positioned herself to face Spencer. “Why?” Spencer turned around too. “I know the speech. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want you to talk like we’re going to die tonight.” “But we could die, and I don’t want to die without having told you how I feel.” “Then I guess you’ll have to survive tonight if you want to tell me how you feel.”

They looked at each other in silence for a while. “I lo –” “No.” Before she could end her sentence, Spencer dipped down to shut her up with a kiss. “You tell me when we get out of here.” “You’re a horrible person.” A smile tugged at her lips.

It was almost idyllic, sitting in a room somewhere over Las Vegas, sun shining through the window. (Y/n) rested her head on Spencer’s shoulder.

“Can I tell you something else?” “Like the time you told me how you imagined me seeing you naked for the first time?” (Y/n) shot him a look. She felt her cheeks heat up. “I think we can both agree that was a moment of weakness.” Spencer let out a laugh. “I think I like your moments of weakness.” She gave him another look but then looked out the window again.

“You know, I still remember the first time I saw you.” She gave him a small smile. “I had just started working for the BAU. They called us in on a Saturday night, it was about the Keystone Killer.” Spencer smiled. “Yeah, I remember.”

“You were so quick to find clues in that word puzzle and...I don’t know. I thought it was cool. Also, you telling Ryan on what page of his book that Francis Bacon quote was on, was kind of funny. And you looked cute with your vest and you had your sleeves rolled up, just like now.”

“You thought I looked cute?” Spencer looked at the carpet, still smiling. (Y/n) nodded. “I did. And every time I saw you after that, I liked you a little more.” She paused for a moment. “The day I realized that I lo – I mean...you know, was on that case with Lila Archers stalker. I knew that I cared for you, but then I got jealous, I didn’t expect that. I had no right, still I knew then.”

He looked at her incredulously. “You were jealous?” She nodded and laughed. “It’s stupid, I know.” “I don’t think it’s stupid, I think it’s cute. Did you know shrimp can feel jealousy too?” “Are you comparing me to shrimp?” “Well apparently you do share some similarities.”

(Y/n) rested her head back on Spencer’s shoulder. “I’m so tired.” He gently stroke her hair. “Me too.” “Do you really think we’ll get out of here?” “I do.” He heard a quiet sniff escape her. When he looked down at her, he saw her cry. Spencer wiped away a tear with his thumb.

“Spencer, I’m scared.” “I know, me too.” He cupped her face. “But I need you to be strong.” “I don’t want to die.” She had trouble holding back sobs. “I just found you, I don’t want to go yet.” They scooted closer. Spencer pulled her face to his, so his forehead resting on hers. “I know, baby, it’s going to be ok.” “I can’t do it.” “Yes you can! You’re strong, I know that.” Spencer brushed his thumb over her lips. “Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?” (Y/n) shook her head.

Spencer brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “When I saw you for the first time, I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t really know what to say. You were so confident, despite being new and I whished I could be as confident as you. So, I tried to impress you, I guess I know now that it worked.” He let out a small laugh. “I didn’t think someone like you would ever go for someone like me. I guess I tried to get you out of my head with Lila. Obviously, it didn’t

work. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve always admired your bravery, you never give up and you can’t give up now.”

“I’ve got them.” Gracias voice rang through the speakers of a laptop surrounded by the other team members. “They’re on the security footage from two days ago in the lobby of the Palazzo. Rory Marshall is with them. They take the elevator, from there I lost them.” “It’s alright, thank you Garcia.” Hotch said. “We know the signal came from the 32nd floor. “That’s still a lot of hotel rooms.” Morgan chewed on a pen.

“Garcia, check how many suites are on that floor.” Hotch turned to the laptop again.

After a few seconds of keyboard clicking, Garcia spoke up again. “There’s five suites.” “Thank you.” Hotch turned to the others. “Get ready, we have to go in now, they don’t have much time left.”

(Y/n) had fallen asleep on Spencer’s shoulder. She woke up from a loud noise. Marshall entered the room, gun in his hand. “Stand up! Both of you. Get in the chairs.”

Something was wrong. Marshall didn’t wear his normal cocky grin. His was erratic, sweat covered his forehead. They didn’t move. “I said now!” Marshall shouted, pointing the gun at Spencer. They hurried to the chairs. Not two minutes later, they were tied up again.

“Your friends are here.” Marshall’s face had returned to that grimace he wore when he was getting angry.

(Y/n) felt hope rise in her chest. But as soon as the feeling came, it left her. Marshall had no reason to keep them alive anymore. He had no time to live out his fantasy. On the other hand, her and Spencer were his ticket out of here. Correction, her or Spencer could be his ticket out of here.

Marshall’s phone rang. He struggled to pick it up with one hand, his other one still clammed around the gun, uninterruptedly pointing it at Spencer. “Hello?” (Y/n) didn’t know if it was the tiredness or the desperation, but she could swear the voice on the end was Gideon’s.

“They’re right here...yeah...” Marshall shot them a look. “Yeah...” He repeated and handed the phone to Spencer, or rather held it to his ear. (Y/n) could see Spencer visibly relaxed as he heard Gideon’s voice. “Yeah we’re fine.” He said and shot (Y/n) a look. “(Y/n) was shot but we’ve got it under control.”

“Ok, that’s enough.” Marshall took the phone back. “I want a helicopter. And cash. By 9 p.m. sharp.” He hung up.

(Y/n) shifted in her seat. There was no way, Hotch would give him a helicopter. Regardless, there was one more thing she wanted to know. “How could you tell?” She turned her head to Marshall. “Tell what?” He snapped back. She had to be careful, he was on edge, everything looked like a possible threat right now.

“How could you tell we were actual soulmates? I only found out the day before myself.” Marshall shrugged. “I don’t know, I just knew when I saw you.”

“Actually, I could have an explanation.” Spencer chimed in. “There are studies that show that predators can pick out people that have previously been victims. They subconsciously learn to read body language and micro expressions to identify them. Because of this you’re chance of getting assaulted are higher, if you’ve been assaulted before.”

“Ok, enough of this psychoanalysis-bullshit. Shut up, I need to think.” Marshall started pacing around the room again.

It didn’t take long before the phone rang again. (Y/n) could hear Gideon’s voice again. He tried to negotiate the release of one of them. “One of my agents has been shot, let her go and we’ll prepare your demands.” Marshall hesitated. “I’ll send one of them to the roof, but I’ll decide which one.” Without waiting for the answer, he hung up.

Spencer immediately propped himself up on the chair. “Let her go, she needs medical attention.” The grin had returned. “No, I think I’ll keep her. You can go.” Spencer began to pale. “Please, let her go, you can keep me.”

“Shut up, I’m calling the shots and I say she stays!” He waved the gun around.

(Y/n) turned to look at Spencer. “It’s alright, I’ll be fine, please just go.” He could tell she was scared again and this time there was nothing he could do to help her. Every fiber in his body screamed to stay by her side and not to leave her alone with this psycho.

Marshall undid Spencer’s ropes and pointed the gun to his head. “Go.” Spencer hesitated. He shot (Y/n) one last look. She mouthed the word ‘go’. The second the hotel door closed behind him Spencer started to sprint to the elevator. He pushed the button to the last floor a few too many times, as if that would get him up there faster.

When he finally arrived on the roof, where they had negotiated the exchange, he was greeted by the rest of the BAU. JJ pulled him into a hug before he was put in a bulletproof vest. “What happened?” Hotch and Gideon were by his side in seconds. “What does the situation look like down there?”

Spencer closed the last Velcro straps on his vest. “As far as I could tell, Marshall is alone. I’m guessing some of his men left, when they got wind that the FBI was raiding the place. (Y/n)’s been hurt pretty badly. One of Marshall’s men shot her in the arm. We could stop the bleeding but I’m afraid it’ll get infected. She’s tied up and Marshall is losing it. We need to go in now.”

“I understand.” Hotch nodded. “But we need to be careful. If we move too fast, he could panic and kill her.” He turned to Spencer. “I understand you’re impatient, but we need to keep a cool head.” Spencer nodded. As soon as Hotch stepped away to talk to Gideon, Derek came up to Spencer, reassuringly putting a hand on his shoulder. “Is it true?” He asked. “What do you mean?” Spencer’s head was every except on the roof. “Is she really your soulmate?” Spencer nodded. “She told me the night before, but we didn’t get a chance to talk about it.” “We’ll get her out of there, don’t worry, man.” Spencer gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”

Derek’s brows furrowed. “Wait, if she’s been shot, didn’t you feel that too? You need to get checked up by a medic.” “I’m not leaving until she’s out of there.” Derek had rarely seen this level of determination on Spencer’s face. He nodded. “I understand.”

(Y/n) felt the panic come back. Now that Spencer was gone, she realized just how much of her mental stability had depended on him. He was only gone for two hours now and he already seemed so far away. She would have given anything to be in his arms again now.

Marshall was still pacing through the room. She could tell he was weighing his chances of coming out of this alive. (Y/n) just hoped he wouldn’t come to the conclusion that there was no way out and decide that he would take her with him as his final act of revenge. It didn’t look good. He was talking to himself, but she couldn’t understand the words. She took a deep breath. Spencer would try to talk his way out of this, but because she had antagonized herself the day before, there was a slim chance he would listen to her. She had to try.

“Rory?” He snapped his head around, bewildered by the fact she had used his first name. She could tell, he wasn’t used to that. As a person with this much power and money, she could imagine that he had few people who were so close to him that they would address him by his first name. “Rory, I know what you’re thinking about –” “You don’t know shit! Why would you know what I’m thinking about?” “You’re feeling trapped and you try to decide what to do.” “Shut up!”

(Y/n) waited for a minute. “What was her name?” “What!?” “What was the woman’s name? The one that broke your heart.” Marshall hesitated before answering. “Heather.” “What did you like about her?” “She was smart, and beautiful. I couldn’t believe it when she said yes to going to dinner with

me.” (Y/n) could tell by the look on his face that he was reminiscing that time in his life. There was this almost soft look in his eyes. “If you walk out of here alive there is a chance you might find someone new someday.” She said cautiously, never letting Marshall out of her sight. Marshall’s face hardened.

“What the fuck do you know?” She had made a mistake. “There will never be anyone else for me and now she’s dead because of me!” He started to raise his voice and his movements became more and more erratic. “Why did she have to meet that guy? It’s her fault I had to kill her, if she’d just stayed with me, we could have been happy!” The crazy look had returned to his face. “You’re all like this! You go around, thinking you can play with people until some fucking asshole comes along who’s supposed to be your soulmate and you think that gives you the right to drop everyone!” In three big strides he was right in front of her, pressing the barrel of the gun directly to her forehead. “I should just kill you too, one less bitch to walk this earth, I bet your little boyfriend will be heartbroken.” She saw the ecstasy in his eyes. “Maybe then he’ll know what it feels like.”

(Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to conjure up images of Spencer. If she died here and now, she wanted him to be the last thing she thought about. She tried to remember the feeling of his lips on hers, the smell of his cologne, the softness of his hair and the sound of his voice hen he told her everything would be alright.

“I love you.” She whispered so quite that Marshall couldn’t hear it. A gunshot rang through the suite.

Chapter 7

When he heard the gunshot, Spencer froze. The SWAT team had stormed the suite, but he was still behind them in the hallway. The moment seemed to drag on forever. The sound burned itself into his mind. He wanted to move but the thought of what was waiting for him in that suite wouldn’t let him. In that moment he hated himself for not letting (Y/n) tell him those three words.

It wasn’t until Derek appeared by his side that he woke up from his trance. Spencer’s feet moved by themselves. He didn’t want to go into that room. As soon as he did, whatever had happened would irrevocably become reality. He hated himself for being such a coward.

“Spencer?” The floor was covered in blood, brain splattered across the carpet, that undoubtedly cost more than his entire apartment. She looked up at him with big eyes. He could see the body of Rory Marshall, who had spent his last seconds in shock as the SWAT team had kicked down the door and taken him out, before he could pull the trigger. His head was empty as he rushed to her, taking her into his arms, holding on to her like his life depended on it. He felt her sob into his shoulder. It was so good to hear her voice. “I love you, I love you, I love you...” She whispered. He pulled back just a bit to look at her. “I love you too, I love you so much and I’m so sorry...I could’ve lost you without telling you.”

She let out a weak laugh. He buried his face in her neck. “I’ll never leave you ever again, I promise.” “I’ll never leave you too, promise.”

The hospital room was dimly lit. Spencer sat at (Y/n)’s bedside. He had laid his head in her lap and fallen asleep with her fingers tangled in his messy hair. She watched his chest rise and fall peacefully. After a while she fell asleep too.

A few days later (Y/n) was released and Spencer insisted to take her home. As they stepped into her apartment, Spencer remained at the door, unsure of what to do. (Y/n) turned around. “Don’t you want to come in?” “Do you want me to come in? I thought maybe you wanted some time to yourself...”

(Y/n) dumped her bag on the couch and walked back to him. He was a bit taller than her, so she had to stand on her tip toes to reach him. She pressed a small kiss to his lips. “I want you.” She said quiet but determined. Spencer let out a nervous laugh. “Maybe you should rest, you’re just tired.”

She grabbed his face. “Spencer, listen to me. I’ve had a whole week to rest. You don’t need to worry I’m not in the right state of mind to make a decision. I haven’t changed my mind about you.” She was so close, their lips almost touched. “If you want me to stop, I will...”

Spencer looked at her, feeling like he was in a dream. She kissed him and it was like his head was empty again. That didn’t happen very often to Spencer. There was always something, some thought, some doubt, eating away at him but when she took his bottom lip between her teeth, everything was gone. She took his hand leading him to the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of her bed, while she stood in front of him, taking her shirt of.

“Let me show you, how much I care about you.” She said, before straddling him. Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had dreamed about this moment for so long, he was mesmerized by her. The signs of torture were still visible. He traced a few healed cuts with his thumb. He felt her shiver under his light touch. He looked up at her, meeting her half- lidded eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“Are you nervous?” Spencer nodded. His fingertips kept wandering over her waist, caressing her soft skin. “You tend to have that effect on me.” (Y/n)’s smile grew. “I make you nervous?” Spencer nodded again. She raised her hand to run it through his hair. The slow strokes seemed to calm him down. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He felt her hands travel down his face, his neck, to the collar of his shirt. “Can I take it off?” Spencer opened his eyes again. “Yes please.” He watched her fingers unbutton his shirt. She moved painfully slow. Undoubtedly as to not overwhelm him, but something told him it was more then that. She was teasing him, and it was working. He felt the tension grow.

(Y/n) slid the shirt over his arms, fingers tracing over his skin. She felt him getting goosebumps and a slight shiver making its way through his body. She brought her hands back to his face, lifting it to make him look at her. “Do you know, how beautiful you are?” She whispered before stealing a small kiss. “I could look at you for all eternity and never get bored.” “Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” “So we’re quoting Hume now?” (Y/n) smiled. “God, I love you so much...” Spencer pulled her back into the kiss. One of his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.

(Y/n) pulled away. “Aren’t you getting impatient?” She stood up to take of the rest of her clothes, but Spencer stopped her by putting his hand on her arm. He stood up, so (Y/n) had to look up again to look him in the eyes. “Let me...” His hands wandered over her waist to her back, unclasping her bra. For a moment she mused where he had learned to do that so well, but the thought was gone as fast as it came when her undergarment fell to the floor and she suddenly realized how bare she was in front of him. The urge to cover herself up never came though. Spencer looked at her like he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life, and truthfully, he hadn’t.

They got rid of the rest of their clothes before (Y/n) led Spencer to the bed. She waited a moment on the bedside. Spencer grabbed her arm, to pull her into the bed. She landed in his arms but before she could get comfortable, Spencer rolled over, trapping her underneath him. A grin spread on his face.

“You can’t tease me forever.” His locks fell into his face, framing it perfectly.

He dipped down, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. He didn’t want to waste another second. He had waited for so long and then he had almost lost her. His lips traveled to her jaw, down to her neck. A sigh escaped her mouth. “Spencer...” She whispered. He continued to pepper kisses down on her chest, over her stomach. She felt his lips graze the skin on her inner thigh. One kiss at a time he came closer to the place she was aching for him to touch.

(Y/n) buried her fingers in his hair, guiding him. When his tongue slid through her wet folds, she couldn’t hold back her moans anymore. Between the obscene sounds, that filled the bedroom, she repeated Spencer’s name over and over, like a mantra. He loved to hear his name fall from her desperate lips. Her breath was getting irregular, he could tell she was close. He pulled back, only to lift himself up, so he could kiss her. He knew she could taste herself on him as he slipped his tongue into her mouth.

After a while, (Y/n) broke the kiss to sit herself up. She crawled over the bed, guiding Spencer, until he sat on the edge and she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She ran her hands up his thighs, never breaking eye contact. She could tell, he was holding his breath.

“Relax...” She placed a few kisses on his thighs before slowly taking him into her mouth. Spencer inhaled sharply. Now he was the one with his fingers tangled in her hair, lewd sounds and profanities leaving his mouth.

(Y/n) could feel him trying to hold back but he was struggling. Satisfied with the effect she had on him, she started to work her way up his abdomen until she reached his neck, sucking on it, careful not to leave marks above where the collar of his shirt would close. She seated herself on his lap. Her hands reached around his neck for support when she slid down on him. Both took in a sharp breath. Spencer’s eyes were closed and his mouth slightly agape when he let out a soft moan. That sound alone could have driven (Y/n) over the edge. She waited a second to adjust to the feeling of being filled up by Spencer.

“You feel so good...” Spencer whispered in the crook of her neck. He sank his teeth into her soft skin, sending shivers down her spine. “You too.” She managed to say between breathy moans. Spencer had started to move slowly. His hands were tightly gripping her thighs to guide her own movements.

“Oh god...” She moaned while dropping her head on his shoulder. Her nails dug into his back. “Spencer, I won’t last very long...” “It’s ok, baby...” His strokes were getting deeper. “Say my name again...” “S-spencer I –” She felt her orgasm build up.

“Again.” “Spenc-aah”

Spencer could feel her tighten around him. Her nails left bright red scratch marks on his back. She cried out his name again and while she was wrapped so tightly around him, he felt his own release.

(Y/n) and Spencer were both panting heavily, sweat covering their foreheads. They just stared at each other for a few seconds. “You’re amazing.” A smile spread on Spencer’s face. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. Her cheeks were glowing red.

“I’m not the only one.” She smiled back.

After cleaning themselves up they laid back in the bed. (Y/n)’s head was resting on Spencer’s chest. He was playing with her hair while she drew small patterns on his stomach. “Was it how you had imagined?” Spencer asked. She raised her head to look at him. “Better.” A smile tugged at her lips. “I never imagined it could feel so right to be with someone.”

“Me neither.” He paused for a moment. “I love you so much, it’s driving me crazy.” (Y/n) propped herself up to get a better look at him. There was nothing but pure adoration in his eyes. “I love you too, I never want to spend another day without you.” “You don’t have to, I promise I’ll never leave your side.”

(Y/n) put her head back on Spencer’s chest. After a while she had fallen asleep. 

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” - Aristotle

[mschoiyuki]

Silence

Trafalgar Law x f!reader

tw : angst. angst. angst. just angst. SFW

wc : 5.1k

a/n : Law is a foolish man. Interaction with the Straw Hat Pirates. I'm not good at writing summary, sorry ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) And I'm sorry for the grammar error. Actually I've been thinking so hard, should I make it a happy ending or not. But... Oh well...

It's best to read this while listening to :

❆ Taylor Swift - You're Losing Me (From The Vault)

❆ Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

❆ Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Enjoy ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Law used to smile to you like that.

Law used to gave lingering touch to you like that.

Law used to sits next to you like that.

Your heart used to beats faster when you were with him.

But one day, everything suddenly change. You want to ask him why, but sadly you're just his crewmate. Law is your captain. Nothing special between you.

Even though he is your captain, you will give your life for him in a heartbeat. Maybe for Law it's just a natural things to do. Yes, another crewmates will also give their life to protect their captain. What's so special with you giving your life for him too? Nothing.

One day on midnight, it's your turn to on watch. You bump to Law on the hallway. There's some sweet perfume wafts from his body. You clench your fist, greeting him with a smile, "Captain." And off you goes, not wanting to hear any responses from him.

The next week when Polar Tang docked at an island for supplies. You bump at Law again at dawn. You can see a red mark on his neck. You just smile and greets him, "Morning, Captain." And you walk away.

You walk fast to bathroom, letting out whatever it is in your stomach. Slouching on the sink, gripping your arms tightly, you cry in silent. You don't want anybody to finds out.

From that day onwards, you made up your mind. Shoving that feelings deep down, sealing it on your pandora box, throw away the key far far away.

You act like a true crewmate, no feelings attached. Every mornings you wake up, you will perfecting your smile in front of the mirror. You train the muscle really hard, you must to make it as natural as possible. So no one knows it's fake. It has to be perfect.

No eye contact. You will answer Law question short and sharp. Giving your best smile without meeting his eyes.

No lingering touches. You will keep your distance an arm length from Law. As natural as possible. Even you try to eat first or later to not sit at his side.

Week turns to month.

Until one day, you witness it with your own eyes. When you leave the bar and want to go back to Polar Tang, you see him. Your beloved captain, Trafalgar Law, walks to a motel with a woman. His hand on the woman waist.

Your body trembling. Your head dizzy. You want to let out the beers you drank out from your throat, tears are threatening to falls. You clench your fist until it's turning white.

Sachi, Penguin and Bepo walks out from the bar, want to follows you back to the sub. But they halt their steps. Following the direction of your gaze.

They knew. Knew Law been to the bar. They knew there's always a girl at his side. They've confront him about this, but he told them to shut up, Law told them to not meddle his personal life.

You take a deep breath and blinks away the tears. And you start walking back to sub.

The man that you loved for years, breaks your heart to pieces. You even haven't confess to Law. Yet you already has the answer.

Then what's the point to stay at here? Why you have to torture yourself more than this? The answer is clear. You chuckle to yourself. Why are you so foolish. You're just a crewmate. Even if you're gone they won't make a fuss.

"Let's just wait for another chance." You thought to yourself.

That night, your heart losing it beats. It's not beating faster when you think about Law anymore. When you wake up with tears stain on your pillow, you lost your voice.

Strangely you're not panicking. Because you remember you read it on a book at Chopper's library, it can due to trauma or it can be from shock that your brain or heart produce.

The others panics. The trio runs to Law, telling him about you lost your voice. Law's face darkened hearing the news. Law immediately rushing to you.

"What happened?" Law try to reach your arm, but you take a step back. Avoiding his touch.

Don't touch me with those filthy hands. Those hands that touched other women.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, you smile and shrug. You write on the sketchbook "No need to panic." And you walks away from him resuming your duty.

Law just stand there, stunned. He remember this scenes long ago. Just like Cora-san when they first met. But are you really lost your voice? It can be you just faking it like Cora-san.

The trio know what Law's been thinking, Sachi breaks the silence "No, Captain. It's real."

Penguin chime in, "We already check on her, we try to prove it. It's real."

Bepo just start to panic and want to cry.

Law's minds been busy, thinking the way out to get your voice back.

But Law doesn't know about your plan.

You know Law's sleeping schedule, mostly Law will be at his office until morning. He rarely sleeps on his bed. Before dawn you slip something under his bedroom door.

While the other are busy getting ready to submerge, you walk out slowly without making any sounds to avoid bumping to other crews. Off to the fresh dawn air. Then you see a merchant ship docked at the harbor not that far, they starts to pulling their anchor.

You start to run faster to the merchant ship, after you reach them you write to them that you need a lift to another island to find your "husband". They agree to help you and they start to sail.

You look back again to the direction where the yellow sub docked behind a hill, the place that been home for you for years. The place full of happy and sad times. The place where your loved one is. The place where your heart used to beats full in love there.

You left your home. You left your family. You left the man you loved. You left your heart there.

When Law enter his bedroom, he step on something. He picks up a piece of paper and open it. His eyes widened and he start to search for you in every corner. Even your room is empty though your belongings still there. Law can't find you anywhere.

"Hakugan! How long have we been submerged?" Law slams the control room door, out of breath.

"Around six hours, Captain." Hakugan clench his heart, shock with the sudden burst and scared if he makes any mistake.

"Fuck! Turn back! Turn back to the island! NOW!" Law is furious now. How can he oversleep until this late? If only he didn’t stayed up late last night.

Sachi runs and stumbling at the door, "The letter... Captain.." Sachi tries to catch his breaths because he runs as fast as he can.

Penguin arrive behind Sachi, holding out the letter, "We found this."

Law snatch the letter and read it. It contains a simple words,

Thank you for the memories ꨄ︎

There's no doubt in it. This is your handwriting. The handwriting that Law always brush lovingly and memorize. The same handwriting on your letter that you left for him.

I loved you.

Law yell the order to Hakugan again, "Turn back to the island!" He walks back to his room, Sachi and Penguin follow behind him. When Law open his door, he rush in and slam the door right in front of Sachi and Penguin face. He doesn't need any lectures now.

He slides down from the door, sitting and read your letters again. The letter for him, I loved you. Loved. That means you don't love him anymore? Did he made a mistake? All of this is his fault? He stare hard on your letter, LOVED.

And suddenly a droplet of water stain the letter. Law choke on his own tears. He want to scream, he want to rips his hair off. But he can't. He punch the door in frustration, there a small yelp behind the door that goes unnoticed by him.

Six hours. Law prays that you're still at the island. He will take you back no matter what. If you ask him the reasons, he will tell you. He will tell you everything you want to knows. As long as it can takes you back to him. He will tell you his true feelings, his feelings toward you. He will do everything, anything. For you. He will make it right this time.

When Law arrive at the island he waste no time to cast his power. He use all of his energy to cast a big "ROOM" that envelopes the whole island. He close his eyes, he wish, he hope, he prays that you will appear in front of him. And he cast the "Shambles".

None.

Nothing.

You don't appear in front of him.

He tries, tries, and tries again.

Penguin grabs Law shoulder, "She's gone, Law. She's left. Let's go back inside."

That moment, Law feels like his heart being torn apart to pieces. It's all his fault he lose you. How could he be so foolish?

Why would he think being with another women will keep you safe? Why he didn't realize your pain? Why he didn't realize your changed attitude towards him? Your smile, your distance, no more lingering gazes and touches. Why he just realize it now?

It's too late now. He hurts you, he lose you too.

Penguin and Sachi follows Law to his bedroom. Law just sit at his bed with his hands in his face. Penguin and Sachi look at each other. Seeing their friend like this broke them too.

"Do you realize all the women you pick resembles her, Law?" Penguin break the silence.

Law still hide his face. "Their height, features, hair colors and lengths it's all resembles to her, you know." Sachi take a step forward.

"I didn't slept with all those women. I couldn't bring myself to slept with them. It never feels right, those women is not her. They can’t give me what I want likes her" Law shoulder is shaking.

Penguin kneel in front of Law, "Then why did you that, Law?"

"I just want her to be safe. You know I've got a lot of enemies. I'm so scared that I can't protect her. What if I lose her?" Law mutter, his voice is cracking.

Sachi sit next to Law, gripping his shoulder "You already lose her, Law."

Law can feel a sting in his heart, the pain almost unbearable. Being so broken Law poured all his heart out to his best friends.

"I shouldn't have let those women get close to me, let their stinky perfumes on my clothes. Gave me mark on my neck. She must've seen it. She must've knew."

"She saw you took a woman to motel, Law." Penguin sighs.

Law freeze and lift his face in horror, "What? When?"

"Night before she lost her voice." Sachi fills in.

"What? Then it's my fault she lost her voice?" Law whisper, his voice thick with sadness. Law can feel the anguish slowly engulf his heart and mind.

Sachi and Penguin wants to comfort him, saying it's not his fault. But the words just won't come out from their mouth. So they just stay there with him, watching Law stare blankly at his hand and crumble.

He will take you back, no matter what. He will travel around the New World again to find you. All he want is just for you to be safe. He prays to all the Gods for your safety, and to gives him your forgiveness.

For four months, Law lost his direction. He will only comes out from his office to give orders and then shut himself at his office. Sachi, Penguin and Bepo try their best to help Law. They will bring foods for him, dragging him to take a bath. If he force himself to sleep at his bed, he will just curls up clutching tightly on your letter praying that he will meet you on his dreams, smiling and holds him tight. He will gives you all his love for you. Hell, he even will says the three words to you. Even if it's just on his dreams. He drifts off to the dreamland with tears to meet you there.

Every times they reach an island, Law will cast the "ROOM", if there's no result he will order them to move to the next island immediately. Sachi and Penguin even beg to Law to stay for a couple days at the island to get some supplies and rest before resuming their journey. They understand Law impatience, but they still try to persuade him.

They think Law is just like a ghost now, losing half of his soul. The only thing that can cure him is you. They also prays every times they reach an island, hoping you are there. To end Law misery. They really want to tell him to give up, but they got tongue tied every times they see his face.

The first month after you left Law, you stay at the island for awhile to collect some berries for your next journey. Sometimes you will help the local doctor, or working at the diner as cook.

When the berries is more than enough, you will move to another island. Maybe you runs away from him, if you stay at the island longer you afraid you will meet him. Heh. There's no way he will looks for you. Who the hell are you? You're not that important to him. You're just a crewmate. Stop thinking so high and mighty about yourself, Y/N. You chuckles and shake your head in disbelief.

The second months, you meet the Sun God. The person you least expected to meet.

Luffy is so happy to meet you again after years. He wraps his arm around you, "Does this mean Torao also here with you? I want to meet him! I miss him!" Luffy chirps.

You just give him a sheepish smile, and you write, "No, I'm alone. I'm no longer Heart Pirates crew."

Luffy just stare and tilt his head, confuse why are you using that sketch book, and you explain to him that you lost your voice. Luffy then drags you to Sunny, "Chopper can help you! Let's go!"

You try to let out your voice, to tell him no but the voice is not coming out. You just let him take you to Sunny.

The other crews are so happy to meet you again. Nami, Robin and Chopper embrace you so tightly. They rush you to the infirmary to check your health. They are so shocks hearing Luffy's information that you lost your voice and no longer Law's crew. As you try to calm them down, "It's okay, it's not a big deal. I'm still strong even without my voice." You give them weak smile while show them the sketch book.

Nami and Robin knows there's more into it. They exchange glances and hugs you, Nami gives you pat on your head while Robin stroke your back. As if they know your real reason. As if they know your pain, your heartbreak. Chopper just hugging you too without knowing why.

For the first time after two months, you cry your heart out. Sobbing in their embrace. You want to let out all of your screams that you've been hold back for months. But you can't. There's no voice coming out. You cry until your throat is hoarse and dry, and fall asleep on their embrace.

The next morning you wake up with swollen eyes. Sanji rushing to get ice packs for you, "A beautiful lady like you mustn't cry, Y/N-chan. Tell me if there's something you crave, I will cook it for you in no time." And he kiss the back of your hand. Nami warned to the other crews to not mention Law's name. It's a forbidden word at Sunny, whoever utter that word must pay a huge amount of berries to her.

"Eeh. Whyyy?? Why can't I say Torao name? I want to ask her about how he's been doing." Luffy whine to Nami. Nami grab Luffy's collar and threaten him, "If you says his name one more time, you won't get allowance for a month. I dare you." Luffy zips his mouth tightly.

"Just stay with us, we won't say anything to him." Luffy sincerely say it while all of them gathering waiting for lunch. You can feels the tears are forming at the corner of your eyes, you mouthed "Thank you." and try to blinks away the tears.

Even though you're not sad anymore, the crews know you changed. You're not the same person as they met back ago when the alliance with Law's formed. Your smile is not the same, you're not the cheerful person like back then. What had happened between you and the Heart Pirates Captain?

One day when you, Nami and Robin enjoying Sanji's dessert at the deck, she can't help her curiosity so she cautiously ask you, "Did both of you broke up?" You put your spoon on your lips and write "We're not together. We're just crewmate and captain." Nami and Robin stunned with your words. Nami try to pushed again but Robin pinch her with her extra hand. They just don't understand why both of you are not together. They saw how Law gazed at you. How Law always following close behind you every where you goes, like a lost cat. But they didn't push further, maybe you're not ready to tell them yet.

Days by days pass peacefully, some part of you think maybe it's not that bad you get on board with Luffy. It's almost makes you forget about your pain. You can saves more berries, maybe someday you can settle down at some island and enjoying the domestics life.

Some days, you help Sanji with preparing foods or wash the dishes. Other times you watch Luffy antics. There's no days pass without fun on Sunny.

Until one day, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Franky make a fuss with the sea king monster. In such a chaotic mess, Nami hit their head until two lumps appear at each heads. And she yell at them, they just lowered their head until a soft breeze blows and Luffy raises his head to hold his precious straw hat, "Oh! Y/N is laughing!" The others snaps their head to you, seeing you laugh for the first time. The real and genuine laugh.

Nami and Robin jumps at you and hug you. The others also laugh, Sanji's heart eyes appear at the sight, and there's a slight tinted blush at Zoro face, and he smile. Even though they can't hear your sweet voice, at least you're laughing now. They just hope you will turns to the old you.

They never thought of you as a guest at Sunny, they treat you like their nakama. When you're down, they will try to cheer you up. Zoro sometimes offer you to clean your katana, or even training together. The girls watching Zoro's behavior and it's so strange for him to interact with someone on his accord.

Nami pulls him and threaten him, "What're you doing? What's your intention, Zoro?"

He deadpanned on Nami, "Nothing, just offer her some companion?".

Nami point her finger, "If your intention is not clear, or you just need someone to warm your bed you better back off."

Zoro takes a step closer and gives Nami a stern look, "I'm. Not." Zoro growls. Maybe he just pitied you, or maybe he just want to take care of you, or maybe he just want to protect you. He doesn't know himself why.

As months goes by, you're getting a little bit cheerful like the old days. And you even gets closer to the crews.

When Luffy see an island holding a festival he decide to dock. Before Luffy and Chopper can scurry off to the town, Nami hold them and tell Luffy to bring one or two crews with him. To watch over him to not cause any ruckus.

Zoro voluntary says he will go with Luffy making the others screech. Nami turns to you "Y/N, can you please go with them? Me and Robin will go later and catch up with you guys." You nods and go to change your outfit. Wearing white shirt with a short and sandals. You run off to Luffy and the others whose been excited to enjoy the festival, “Let’s go!!” Nami shouts from the back, “Zoro!! Please don’t get lost! I’m counting on you, Y/N! Have fun!!” Zoro just rolls his eye at Nami and you giggle while wrapping your hand to his arm. Zoro jolt at your sudden touch and eyeing you, you mouthed “So you don’t get lost.” You grin and lead the way. Zoro just huff and shake his head, hiding the subtle smile.

Tagging along with Luffy that want to eats all of the foods on every stalls, and Chopper want to try all the attractions makes your heart full. “Look! That roller coaster is so cool! Let’s try it!” Chopper shouts and excitedly point at it. “I’m gonna pass on this one. To tired. I will wait for you guys down here.” Zoro already sits on the bench and cross his arms.

You feel bad leaving him behind and want to stay too, but Zoro just shoo you to go with them, “Just go, it’s okay. It won’t take that long.”

Then you go with Luffy and Chopper to enjoy the roller coaster. But when you guys come back down, all of you are drenched. You guys just laugh while Zoro dumbfounded looking at you guys. Zoro put his cloak on your shoulders, “Your shirt become a see-through.” As he looks away from your body. Your face flushed and mouthed “Thanks.”

As you guys walking back to Sunny with hands full with foods, there’s two people looking at you from afar with their jaws dropping. They can’t believe their own eyes. They exchange glances to make sure it is really you.

“Should we call Captain?” Sachi already takes out the mini den den mushi.

“Ugh.. Wait! But look at her! She’s laughing! She’s happy, Sachi!” Penguin grab Sachi hand.

“Guys! It’s-!” Bepo suddenly appears and shout but Sachi and Penguin quickly shuts his mouth.

“Sshh!!!” They gesture in unison.

“Should we call Captain??” Sachi press again.

Penguin is still in agony. “Peng! Captain needs her!” Sachi getting impatient now because he almost lost you on the crowds.

"Fine!! Fine! Call him." Penguin surrender, still unsure if this is the right things or not. Because he also knows you are suffering from Law.

When the news reach Law, he immediately teleport to the shore. He use his power to teleports here and there, to find the Sunny.

And he sees you, draped in Zoro's cloak, your hand grabs on his arm. And you laugh. You laugh with them. The smiles that he missed so much, the smiles that you used to gave to him. You looks... Beautiful. You looks... Happy... Are you with Zoro now? He can feels his heart clench. He will finds out himself.

This time, he will make it right.

Suddenly you see a blue orbs envelopes all of you. You freeze, gripping Zoro's arm. You know damn well this blue orbs. And he appears in front of you. The man that you loved with all of your heart. He looks like a mess. His eye bags getting more darker.

Law so relieve when he see you this close. Finally... He can take you back with him, he moves his hand to reach you but Zoro take a step in front of you and stand between you and Law.

"Move, Zoro-ya." Law stand tall against Zoro.

But Zoro doesn't move an inch, and you still clutching on Zoro hiding behind him. When Luffy and Chopper see Law, they excitedly shouts, "OOH! TORAOO!!" But Zoro prevent them to get close to Law.

"What do you want, Torao?" Zoro still in his defensive stance.

"I don't have any business with you. I'm here for Y/N." Law still looking at you. "Let's talk, Y/N. Please." He's pleading now, you never hear his voice this soft. You still consider should you talk to him? Part of you don't want to talk to him, you don't want to see his face. But maybe this is the time...

You come out from behind Zoro and you nod. You point to a big stone under the shade and you gesture to him to follow you there. You write to Luffy, "I'll be back."

You and Law walk to the shade, you lean on the stone and write, "What do you want?" You shove it to him, but you didn't look at him at all.

Law furrow his eyebrows. It hurts. "How you've been, Y/N?" He reach for your face but you avoid it. It hurts so bad. He clench his fist and take it back to his side. "Please, look at me, Y/N." His voice cracking.

You freeze and slowly turn your head to meet his gaze. There they are, the grey eyes that you used to loved is filled with tears now. But it makes you furious and without you realizing it you hit his chest with your both fist. Law lets you hit him, if it can makes you feel better then it doesn't matter. If it can makes you back to his side, then it's fine. He will take it all, your furious, your hits. Everything.

Your head hung low while you still hitting him for God knows for how long. But Law realize you've been crying. He grabs your wrists, "Look at me, Y/N. Please." You lift your head, still sobbing. Law's eyes quiver with the sight, he pulls you right to his chest. He hug your trembling body tightly, he will not let you go.

"Please come back, Y/N" Law whisper beside your ear.

You snap your eyes open realize this is not right. You shove Law then you wipe your tears with your sleeves and write in a quick pace, "I'm not coming back. You should go back."

"Y/N, don't do this. Please come back to me." Law reach out his hand for you to take it, he looks so sorrowful. You shakes your head furiously. Law take a step toward you still reaching out his hand, "Why are you doing this, Y/N? If you love me then just come back to me." He slowly walking to you.

"I'm not! I don't love you anymore!" You write then tear the sheet and you throw it to Law. Then you write another one and throw it again. He picks it up and read it “I hate you.” Law’s eyes widened and he clutch the sheet, “Lies. You’re lying.” He stands in front of you.

“I’m not lying.” You look straight into his eyes.

“I don’t love you. And I’m not going back. Leave. Go back, Captain. I’m just one of your crew-mate, you don’t have to waste your times for me.” You starts to walk away from him.

Law grabs your wrist and turns you to face him, “I love you. I love you, Y/N. Please come back to me.” He’s crying. Trafalgar Law is crying in front of you.

You try so hard to hold back your tears. You tell yourself, don’t cry, not now. You shakes your head and yank your wrist, “It’s too late. Goodbye, Law. Take care.” You leave Law standing there in silence.

You walks back to Sunny without looking back at the man you loved. You thought you’ll be strong to leave him again for the second times, but why these tears just won’t stop? As you reach Sunny you quickly wipe your tears.

“Can we sail out now, Luffy? Please?” You write to Luffy. Luffy just nods and tells Nami to set off.

You storms to your shared bedroom and lock the door. You throw yourself to your bed and cry your heart out, screaming to the pillow. The crews freeze when they heard your wailing. When they wish they can hear your voice again, they don’t mean it like this. Not your voice when you’re in pain. They just stand at the deck looking at each other, they can feel your pain. But they can't do anything to erase your pain.

Law walks back to Polar Tang in tears with your sketch sheets in his hand, it feels like he reminisces the old days. The days he cried when Cora-san died. You left him too. If only he could be more honest with you. If only he didn’t act like a jerk. If only he didn’t hurt you. None of these will happen. If only…

When the crews see Law coming back alone they don’t utters a single words to him. He just walks to his bedroom in silence, only the trio follows Law. Law slumps to his bed, covering his eyes with his arm, the other hand still holding on your sketch sheets tightly at his chest. Penguin being the brave one to break the silence, “Is she?” Law answers short, “No.”

Sachi continue, “Do you tell her everything?”

“It’s too late. She hates me. She doesn’t love me anymore. She left me.” Law curls up holding your sheets tightly.

Law can't get you return to his side again. He can't have your heart forever. He can't see you anymore. He can't hear your sweet voice anymore. At least he want to hear your voice before you go.

Law doesn't know you get your voice back again.

Law summon "ROOM", the blue orb surrounds him and he cast "SILENCE".

For the first time Sachi, Penguin and Bepo see their Captain crying in despair. They just hope their captain can get on his feet again.

It's too late now...

Is it too late now?

This is the end...

Is this the end?

Part 2

dividers by : @saradika-graphics

[pinkchaosnight]

• an eternity • (adar x fem!reader)

summary : your husband is adamant to go through his plans for Eregion and you are worried what will happen to him if he does.

pairing: adar x fem!reader

warning: s2 ep8 (do i need to say more?), angst, death

you wrap your hands across your husband's body, resting your head into the crook of his neck. the warmth of his body provided a little comfort to the fact that tomorrow might change everything.

"do you really plan to go tomorrow forward with your plan?" you ask as you feel the beat of his pulse against your cheek, calming your anxiety.

"hmmm" he replies as he continues going through the plan he has drawn. you lay there quietly, relishing in the silence before everything turns to clamour and war noises tomorrow. after a few quiet minutes, he places it in the table, your silence troubling him.

"whats the matter, my love?" he questions as he gently clutch your jaw in his hand, making your troubled eyes meet his.

"nothing, i was just worried. about the fact that we don't know what will happen tomorrow. who will win or lose? and mainly, who all will remain ?"

"are you doubting you me?" his hands let go off your chin as you rise your head from his chest.

"no i am not doubting you my dear. if i ever had any doubt about you, do you think i would abandoned my family and people to come here and stay with you? marry you? be your wife? no it's simply because i am afraid, that something wrong might happen to you. i can't lose you." you say as you caress your hands along the cheeks you so love to kiss.

adar smiles, a warm genuine smile reserved only for you in your private times. "i know, i am sorry for asking . besides i am sure my children won't disappoint me. i have faith in them and their strength. and don't even think about asking me about that topic earlier, i know that look. i absolutely forbid it"

"adar please allow me to fight alongside with you. i was raised as warrior, a swordswoman . please allow me to protect you too. it's the least i can do---"

" what do you mean by 'the least you can do'? you are the one who sacrificed your family and yourself for me. and i never expect anything in return expect for your love. my life has been bleak before i met you. now i have you who i can return to after the sun sets each day, you whose warm lap i can sleep on safely without feeling scared and alone, you who let me change myself for the better. let me protect you and this family, our family, so that in the future we can be safe and happy" he says as he places his hands on the slight curve of your belly.

tears fall down from your eyes, as you watch your husband tenderly touching your belly. it made your heart beat in such a way that makes your chest hurt a little.

adar wipes away your tears as he picks you up in bridal style, carrying you all the way to your shared bed. he lays down, with you resting your head on top of his torso. he wraps his arms around you , as he places a soft kiss in your head.

" nothing bad will happen tomorrow my love. i will return back victorious. you shouldn't cry over this trivial matter, its bad for you and the baby. "

"you are not a trivial matter. i just wish i can stay with you all the time. be with you. share all your worries and ease your pains." you whisper as you kisses his chest, his heartbeat faint against your lips.

" we have all the time in the world after tomorrow's battle. we will have time to see the plains, to gaze upon the wonderful seas. and when our child arrives, we will go on a tour for a whole month. i will consider one month of vacation for ourselves after all this ends. we will be happy again, for eternity. " he says as he trails kisses from your head to your ears.

" you promise me? that you will return to me safely? "

" i promise "

you both lay there in an comfortable silence, the promise of a new era hanging over as it lulls us back to sleep in the comfort of each other's arms.

your intuition was tingling; you could sense something bad was about to happen to your husband, the moment you stepped out into the woods, with your sword in your hands.

the sound of swords clashing and arrows being fired rang in the air, but you couldn't do anything. you refuse to draw arms against the elves, after all you are one yourself. so you go through the woods, avoiding everyone, until a voice catches your attention. your husband's voice. you nudges closer, your hand tightening the handle of the sword and ready to swing at anybody.

you relaxed when you see his orcs surrounding him, your hands loosening slighty. as you walk towards them, horror strickes as fear grasps you.

the orcs were stabbing him, his orcs whom he so loved. "nooooo" a guttural scream came from you as you swing the sword at the orc, decapitating his head. as your eyes found him, laying on the ground with his blood all over him, you couldn't stop the tears gushing from your eyes.

before the orc would stab him more, you places yourself between them, as you plunge the sword in it's heart. but not before it strikes you in the chest, causing you a searing pain that began to spread across ypur body. the orcs try to stab adar in admist of this as his blood splashes across your face. before the next strike occurs, you lie on top of him as you clutch his face searching for any life in them.

you could see a faint eye movement as you looked into his eyes, while your body got another set of stabs before it stabs altogether. you clutch your stomach as you feel an intense pain there, from the stab wound you got. you could feel your child die inside you, making you scream in helplessness. tears and blood mixed together and ran down your face as you didn't have the strength nor the time to govern which one is what.

"please-----adar--my love-----" you croak as a gush of blood rushes out from your mouth.

your husband briefly rises his hand and caress your tears away and you cry more, as you know this will be the last time he does so. you could see sauron and galadriel in your peripheral vision but they didn't matter. nobody and nothing matters , except your husband. nothing else, not even the searing pain and the world closing in on you as you feel your consciousness start to slip.

"i am sorry i.... couldn't fulfil the promise i made. i am sorry i couldn't..see what you were saying and i am sorry i started this war and dragging you to your death too. i wish we could have gone back to the simpler times, when we all had to worry was what to do spare the boredom. i-----" adar chokes as he spits more blood, his breathing slowing down each moment. his hands slowly moves to your stomach, craddling it as if to keep the child safe, making your heart ache. you could feel his heartbeat began to faint against your own chest, mirroring yours.

" did you remember our vows? 'not even death can part us' ? atleast we got that right." you say as you lie on his chest, with your vision blurring each minute.

you can feel him smiling with what energy is left on him. " i love you, my love......i just wish we had gotten more time. i wish we had eternity to raise our child with love that neither of us got. i wish we had the time to travel and revel in the simple beauty of this world. i wish ----" his word's get stuck as he chokes on his blood, his hands caressing your cheek.

" the only good thing is you will be the last thing i see, when my life leaves this scarred body. thank you for giving me chance to love you. i hope you can give it in the next life too." he whisper as he kisses you in your lips.

you kiss him back, tears and blood mixing together. for a minute you feel his hands and mouth on you, before both goes limp and hits the floor, lifelessly.

and just like that he is gone. gone from you, gone from your unborn child you will never see the light of the world and gone from the world that have treated him too cruelly. the hands, the mouth, the soul, the rest of him which you so loved - has left you, has left this plane of existence.

" my love, my husband please come back to me" you scream, as you feel your strength failing you. you fall over his lifeless body, sobbing and clutching. just like you were lying on him yesterday night - but without the faint rising of his chest and the beat of his heart which you so craved for. his eyes is glassy, lifeless as you close it for one last time before pressing a kiss.

" i love you so much that it pains me to leave you. please love me in next life and all the lives after too, my husband." is the last thing you remember whispering in his ears as you closes your eyes for the last time, falling into an eternal slumber in his arms, just like yesterday.

notes - i wrote this after ep 8 (no surprises there), i couldn't handle it so this happened as a part of my coping mechanism 🥹 i am so sorry yall

[louisupdates]

[Translated from Spanish]

Louis Tomlinson surrenders to the Chilean public: “They have given me so many incredible memories”

The artist presented a handful of pop rock songs on the cold capital night of May 24 that was filled with youth and music. The British debut at the Bicentenario La Florida Stadium was an example of the unique connection he has achieved with his local fans; coming from the other side of the world, he already feels at home: the public was an extension of his songs, they gave the performer a show within his own show, and not everyone can tell that.

Paloma Pareja | Saturday, May 25, 2024 at 3:23 p.m.

How to begin to describe the relationship between Louis Tomlinson and Chile? Well, from the beginning. Many may not know it, but after One Direction broke up in 2015 and each member went their own way, he was waiting for everything to go back to the way it was before, but that never happened. So he began to think alone, he was in fact the last of his colleagues to do so, but all that time in pause he had a nice reward, and then came Chile.

In 2022, and on his first world tour with this new career that started from scratch, he had an album under his arms called “Walls” and the confidence that he was doing the right thing, thus filling the Movistar Arena three times. Who can join this exclusive list? Luis Miguel, Romeo Santos, Ricardo Arjona, Simply Red.

Not only that, his national audience rewarded him with one of the most moving surprises of his years in the industry, a fan project that was repeated the night of this May 24 at the Bicentenario La Florida Stadium, his debut at the venue with the “Faith in the Future World Tour.”

KILL MY MIND

After 9:00 p.m. he stepped on stage, the cold of the capitol hit deep, he rubbed his hands constantly to warm up and was grateful that they were there despite the low temperature, but the energy of the people was more imposing than any polar wave.

The time came for “Kill My Mind”, the second song of the night, the entire audience moved their lights from top to bottom, they knew what was coming, they had already experienced it before and they enjoyed it. But what he did not suspect is that it would not end there.

The Chileans managed to move him on two more occasions. In the song “Chicago”, the audience raised signs with a phrase from the chorus: “if you're lonely in Chicago, you can call me, baby”, changing the city of Chicago for Santiago, and finally, Louis himself surrendered to such show of affection and ended it by singing: “If you feel alone in Santiago, you can call me, baby”; in English, of course.

And then it was the turn of “Copy of a Copy of a Copy”, where the stadium was divided into three sections to show blue lights from their cell phones. Louis was stunned, once again he had been left speechless. Can anyone surpass the national audience? In this pass, difficult.

AT ITS BEST

For about two hours, the star took a tour of his musical evolution, including two One Direction covers and also “505” by Arctic Monkeys. There was a catwalk but it did not occupy it as much as expected, also pyrotechnics and the classic confetti that has become a must at shows.

The song “Mijito Rico” could not be left out, a must-see on these special occasions, but he did not pay much attention to it and continued with his programming, he took the time to thank on several occasions for everything that was happening, which was nothing more than a shared experience, because the fans made an extension of his songs, they gave him a show within his own show and not everyone can tell that.

Finally, he left the stage with a smile on his face, with the conviction that he had made it once again. A month ago he confessed to La Cuarta that before he did not like to give himself those moments of enjoyment of success, but that he started doing it.

“They have given me so many incredible memories,” was one of the phrases he released, and well, he has also given incredible memories to his followers. All that remains is to say, until next time Louis, this is your home now.

[abisbookcase]

100+ songs that remind me of buddie: the ship between evan "buck" buckley + eddie diaz from 9-1-1 (tv show)

photograph - ed sheeran

sucker - jonas brothers

fix you - coldplay

clarity - zedd & foxes

everybody talks - neon trees

earned it (fifty shades of grey) - the weeknd

cardigan - taylor swift

august - taylor swift

the 30th - billie eilish

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex

sweet - cigarettes after sex

K. - cigarettes after sex

love of my life - harry styles

i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys

the way i loved you (taylor's version) - taylor swift

everything has changed (taylor's version) - taylor swift & ed sheeran

fine line - harry styles

watching him fade away - mac demarco

jealousy, jealousy - olivia rodrigo

apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

sofia - clairo

we fell in love in october - girl in red

ribs - lorde

i love you so - the walters

until i found you - stephen sanchez & em beihold

golden hour - JVKE

crush - cigarettes after sex

karma - taylor swift

bags - clairo

getaway car - taylor swift

don't blame me - taylor swift

issues - julia micheals

heavenly - cigarettes after sex

memories - conan gray

lay all your love on me - ABBA

head over heels - ABBA

ceilings - lizzy mcalpine

all i wanted - paramore

i love you - billie eilish

heather - conan gray

what a time - julia micheals & niall horan

make up your mind - florence + the machine

look after you - the fray

sparks - coldplay

king of my heart - taylor swift

false god - taylor swift

rumour has it - adele

the great war - taylor swift

maroon - taylor swift

gorgeous - taylor swift

lovers rock - TV girl

why'd you only call me when you're high? - arctic monkeys

beautiful boy (darling boy) remastered 2010 - john lennon

daylight - david kushner

halley's comet - billie eilish

can't feel my face - the weeknd

shameless - camila cabello

ME! - taylor swift & brendon urie of panic! at the disco

all too well (10 minute version - taylor's version) - taylor swift

this love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

enchanted (taylor's version) - taylor swift

midnight rain - taylor swift

the 1 - taylor swift

kiss me - ed sheeran

mine (taylor's version) - taylor swift

lavender haze - taylor swift

hits different - taylor swift

afterglow - taylor swift

lover - taylor swift

red (taylor's version) - taylor swift

i don't wanna live forever (fifty shades darker) - ZAYN & taylor swift

style (taylor's version) - taylor swift

"slut!" (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

daylight - taylor swift

wildest dreams (taylor's version) - taylor swift

how you get the girl (taylor's version) - taylor swift

you are in love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

golden - harry styles

say yes to heaven - lana del rey

lover (remix) - taylor swift & shawn mendes

training wheels - melanie martinez

scott screet - phoebe bridgers

glue song - beabadoobee

kiss me - sixpence none the richer

something just like this - the chainsmokers & coldplay

still into you - paramore

those eyes - new west

can't take my eyes off you - boys town gang

angeleyes - ABBA

because i liked a boy - sabrina carpenter

sleep it off - niki & gabi

never felt so alone - labrinth

chemtrails over the country club - lana del rey

only love can hurt like this - paloma faith

my love mine all mine - mitski

moment in the sun - sunflower bean

you're losing me (from the vault) - taylor swift

paris - taylor swift

the lucky one (taylor's version) - taylor swift

snap out of it - arctic monkeys

labyrinth - taylor swift

starlight (taylor's version) - taylor swift

company - justin bieber

never really over - katy perry

i lived - onerepublic

the night we met - lord huron

heart to heart - mac demarco

rises the moon - liana flores

about you - the 1975

fight or flight - conan gray

deja vu - olivia rodrigo

you found me - the fray

paris - the chainsmokers

murder on the dancefloor - sophie ellis-bextor

want to want me - jason derulo

hands to myself - selena gomez

late night talking - harry styles

astronomy - conan gray

the only exception - paramore

can't help falling in love - elvis presley

the boy is mine - brandy & monica

last dance - scratch massive & maud geffray

ur so pretty - wasia project

34+35 - ariana grande

good days - SZA

falling in love - cigarettes after sex

keep on loving you - cigarettes after sex

marry you - bruno mars

walk me home - p!nk

people help the people - birdy

now that we don't talk (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

suburban legends (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

open arms - SZA & travis scott

movies - conan gray

let the light in - lana del rey & father john misty

margaret - lana del rey & bleachers

need you now - lady A

i miss you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams

sex on fire - kings of leon

end of beginning - djo

21 - gracie abrams

only you - cheat codes & little mix

mr. loverman - ricky montgomery

lust for life - lana del rey & the weeknd

saturn - SZA

lover (live from paris) - taylor swift

dress - taylor swift

waiting room - phoebe bridgers

kiss you - one direction

someone to you - BANNERS

little freak - harry styles

i hear a symphony - cody fry

do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys

till forever falls apart - ashe & FINNEAS

1 step forward, 3 steps back - olivia rodrigo

like real people do - hozier

out of my league - fitz and the tantrums

somewhere only we know - keane

when we were young - adele

maps - maroon 5

young and beautiful - lana del rey

touch tank - quinnie

i found - amber run

invisible string - taylor swift

epiphany - taylor swift

daylight - taylor swift

ivy - taylor swift

sign of the times - harry styles

adore you - harry styles

sunflower, vol.6 - harry styles

let me love you (until you learn to love yourself) - glee cast (version)

somewhere only we know - glee cast (version)

yellow - coldplay

pretty boy - the neighbourhood

the beach - the neighbourhood

whatta man - salt n pepa & en vogue

endgame - taylor swift, ed sheeran & future

delicate - taylor swift

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored - ariana grande

forever winter (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift

wish you were gay - billie eilish

ivy - frank ocean

i like me better - lauv

toothbrush - DNCE

best friend - rex orange county

no control - one direction

here is the link to the playlist on spofity: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mpIWOTplXGR7vR4gT34Yi

if you have any other recommendations for songs please let me know and they will go straight into the playlist. also, please don't be disrespectful and this is a reminder that these are my opinions, i hope that you enjoy the playlist!! 💌🤍💋

[bluetiefling]

Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark: Peter x Catherine Playlist Vol.3 | tracks arranged by @saint-cecilias | edit by me | spotify

Vol 1. and Vol. 2

Part 1:

Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Fall Out Boy - Hold Me Like A Grudge

Alice Smith - Fool for You

Steve Lacy - Dark Red

Lorde - The Louvre

Raleigh Ritchie - Bloodsport

Taylor Swift - Don't Blame Me

Fall Out Boy - Love From The Other Side

Bishop Briggs - Baby

Joel Sunny - Young and Beautiful (Violin)

Rihanna - Love On The Brain

The Script - Walk Away

Dua Lipa - Last Dance

Brandon Flowers - I Can Change

Snow Patrol - Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Matt Maeson - Tribulation

Elton John, Stevie Nicks - Stolen Car

Aaron Grubb - Ocean Eyes

Part 2:

Tom Odell - Can't Pretend

LULLANAS - Queen of Disaster

Andrew Belle - Pieces

Lorde - Sober II (Melodrama)

Joel Sunny - Running Up That Hill (Violin)

Christina Aguilera - Twice

MIIA - Dynasty

Ruelle - The Other Side

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

Joss Stone - The Love We Had (Stays On My Mind)

LEON - Die For You

Lorde - Supercut

2CELLOS - With Or Without You

Taylor Swift - The Great War

Hozier - Francesca

Sasha Alex Sloan - Dancing With Your Guest

Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust

AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

[starrylightseeker]

songs that remind me of LNDS (that's not wide awake by katy perry) cause I'm bored

part 1

[the first part was specific to the boys, this is more of the lore of the game as a whole] The ones that specifically remind me of MC's lore will be in pink

So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy. The stars are the same as ever, but I don't have the guts to keep it together / Stuck in the permafrost, stuck in the permafrost / Life is just a game, maybe / I'm stuck in a lonely loop, my baby

Sacred Oath by Beth Crowley. Fate came in to twist the knife / I got a second chance / Only to lose you twice / Some days I'm so mad, I can't think straight / Plotting the revenge that I won't take

Please Don't Cry by Davichi. It’s just for a while / It will be hard just for a while / Little bit, please wait for, just a little bit / Whenever I think about you who’s more precious than me / I wanna see you so bad, it drives me crazy

The Loneliest by Måneskin. You'll be the saddest part of me / A part of me that will never be mine / It's obvious / Tonight is gonna be the loneliest / You're still the oxygen I breathe / I see your face when I close my eyes / It's torturous

Flowers from Hadestown. I trembled when he laid me out / "You won't feel a thing," he said, "when you go down" / Nothing gonna wake you now / Dreams are sweet, until they're not / Men are kind, until they aren't / Flowers bloom, until they rot, and fall apart

Lighthouse by WayV. I miss you, I miss you / I don’t want to miss you / Each day of separation extends, even my laughter seems like a lie

Nobody by Faith Marie. These chains so complicated / These memories so faded / They say I can't feel nothing

Hunter by Paris Paloma. With so much misery that I could mercifully put end to / For that animal I let slink off into the undergrowth, unscathed / Do I not fear death, but just pretend to?

You Are My Everything by Davichi. Even if you get farther away from me / I will go closer to you / Kiss me, kiss me / You are everything in my life / Here I’m running to you / Wait for me / I miss you so much

Ocean by Lady A. And I've done it outta love is not enough / But God, how I wish it was

^ specifically Rafayel

Ascension by Sarah Kinsley. So, why can't I stay here? / Barely alive, barely awake / In my bed too big / And I stay on my side / Wondering if it was real

Stay With Me by Chanyeol x Punch. I’m still watching over you from far away / Why am I being like this? / Different from the moment I first saw you / This time of fate is passing slowly / My heart was heading towards you

Monsters by joan. 'Cause I want you to hear, want you to know / My heart is yours / No matter where, no matter what shows up

A Million Miles Away from Belle. Come back to me and stay by my side / I feel my heart shake / Come, ease this ache / I'm standing over here, reaching for you / A million miles away, come back and stay

(ง ื▿ ื)ว Bonus song... If Caleb comes back after being dead in bad terms:

Tempting Fate by Beth Crowley. I see the way you've changed / Into someone I don't recognize / A stranger I have to walk behind / Pride goes before the fall / You're going to lose it all / If you let the precious time we borrowed slip away

[fieldofdaisiies]

Azriel x Eris

A Court of Covert Desire

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ─── playlist 🎶

I wanna be yours - arctic monkeys "Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought Maybe I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours"

man or a monster - sam tinnesz "In your hands, there's a touch that can heal But in those same hands, is the power to kill Are you a man or a monster?"

scars to your beautiful - alessia cara "The world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful We're stars and we're beautiful"

me and the devil - soup & skin  "And I'm gonna see my man Until I get satisfied"

things we lost in the fire - bastille "Do you understand that we will never be the same again The future's in our hands and we will never be the same again"

i was never there - the weeknd "What makes a grown man wanna cry? What makes him wanna take his life? His happiness is never real And mindless sex is how he feels, ooh, he feels"

daddy isssues - the neighbourhood "Take you like a drug I taste you on my tongue You ask me what I'm thinking about I tell you that I'm thinking about Whatever you're thinking about"

flames - donzell targat "Flames, desire If you wanna be with me just look me in the eyes, baby Face, the fire"

don't blame me - taylor swift "Don't blame me, love made me crazy If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right Lord, save me, my drug is my baby I'll be usin' for the rest of my life"

middle of the night - elley duhé "Just call my name, I'm yours to tame In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night I'm wide awake, I crave your taste All night long 'til morning comes"

de selby (part 2) - hozier "And your heart, love, has such darkness I feel it in the corners of the room"

hurts - emeli sandé "Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts Loving you the way I do, it hurts When all that's left to do is watch it burn"

you put a spell on me - austin giorgio "You know I can't help myself when you ask tenderly If I'd dim the lights as your hand brushes me And the floor swallows your clothes And your silhouette puts on a show"

aimed to kill - jade lemac "Call me monster or a saint I'll still get you either way, baby If you scream, I will tie you up Keeping it rough but call it love"

scary love - the neighbourhood "Your love is scaring me No one has ever cared for me As much as you do"

only love can hurt - paloma faith "I tell myself you don't mean a thing And what we got, got no hold on me But when you're not there, I just crumble I tell myself I don't care that much But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch"

love's a burden - beyond the black "But I just can't deny my deepest will Cause love is all that I can ever feel Love's a burden, but I want more to bear …. Love's a burden, but I just can't ignore How good it feels"

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Have to admit that I enjoyed the Chicken Run sequel, it was better than I expected. I’m not going to make a full on post as I have to be up in a few hours, but a few things:

Obviously I’m still mad about Aardman/Netflix replacing Julia Sawalha, and given that I grew up with the original film the change is just so jarring - especially since they used archive footage/recordings of her voice in the first film for flashbacks, which makes it even weirder for me personally.

I’m not going to complain about Mel Gibson being replaced as Rocky given the circumstances tbh

I LOVE the Paloma Faith song used, it’s a great song, but when I first heard it in the opening scenes of the film I was like “…???”, like it just sounded so… modern and pop-y compared to the first film? It’s a fantastic song, don’t get me wrong, but compared to the first film, where you had a rather old fashioned sounding song played during the film (Flip Flop Fly), it made this film seem more American than British, if that makes sense (which kind of irks me because one of the most charming parts of the original for me is how British it is)

Following on from my point above, whole film in general seemed like it was more modern and more set in present day, which in some ways is to be expected because there’s a 23 year gap between movies, but on the other, the original film felt almost timeless, like it could have been set in any decade. As far as I remember, the original didn’t have any televisions, it had a sort of old fashioned radio and while, yes, there was electricity (the pie machine, Christmas lights etc), it felt like it could have been set in an older year than 2000. Maybe that’s just me, I don’t know, but this film really went twenty times more modern and gadget-y

You know how in the first film, Mrs Tweedy picks out a chicken who hasn’t been laying any eggs, then we see the shadow of her beheading the chicken followed by what is clearly a roast chicken skeleton on the Tweedys’ dinner table? I thought it couldn’t get more fucked from that, but Aardman wanted to prove me wrong because what the fUCK

Have to say that the first film strangely never actually made me want to stop eating chicken, meanwhile this film made me feel sick at the thought of a chicken nugget 😭 it might take a while before I can eat chicken again 😔

Hopefully the chickens I eat are NOT mind controlled on a high tech farm to walk to their deaths

Miranda Richardson back as Melisha Tweedy, SLAAAAAAY 💅🏻

I can’t decide what’s funnier, her introducing herself as “Melisha Tweedy” despite getting remarried or her calling Dr Fry “my current husband”

ALSO DOCTOR FRY IS VOICED BY NATE THE GREAT FROM TED LASSO?!? 😭

I don’t believe Mrs Tweedy is dead to be honest, if being inside the pie machine when it exploded (after falling into it from a great height), flattened by a barn wall/door, and going headfirst into the chicken nugget machine and smothered in breadcrumbs couldn’t kill her than I doubt that the killer robot ducks that shoot lasers will do the job, especially given that they didn’t kill Rocky, a rooster 💀

Calling it now there’ll be a third film and she’ll be back, I’m calling it right now!!!

I SAW FEATHER MCGRAW FROM THE WRONG TROUSERS AT THE END LMAO FEATHERS YOU LIL SKANK THIS AINT YOUR MOVIE 🐧

Anyway, I thought it was better than expected - the first one will always be the best of course, but as far as sequels go, this one was definitely on the better end of the scale!

[akutagawacide]

your frosted fairytale is complete ! psst, @silentgravesdontexist ! your name has been added to the frosted fairytales library. your assigned au with hoshina is . . . historical period arranged marriage !

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ first of all . . . your playlist ! love story, indila // hayloft II, mother mother // dynasty, miia // young and beautiful, lana del ray // wildest dreams, duomo // love in the dark, adele // a hidden life, james newton howard // plumfield, alexandre desplat // only love can hurt like this, paloma faith.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ how about some imagery . . .

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ put it all together and you get . . .

birds chirp harmoniously, carried on the breeze that politely ruffles at your kimono ever so slightly. you've been seated at this trickling creek for a while now, consumed by your thoughts and feelings as you listen in on the nature of japan. it's a breath of fresh air away from the city walls, the hustle and bustle of the market and of course, your arranged marriage.

societal class means everything in this dynasty, sealing your fate from the moment you're born into a clan with a name for themselves. you could almost say it was unfortunate in your case, that your clan was so well off within the kingdom. this comes with your hand in marriage and a certain sharp toothed general that appears to be everywhere you are-

"there you are," oh bugger. your eyes raise slowly from the water you've been watching run alongside you, your fingertips grazing the icy water's surface to see the general standing beneath the nearby torii gate arched over a cobblestone path, leading him directly to you, "you'll catch a sickness doing that, you know."

yes, yes you was fully aware. it's almost winter and the water's temperature is sharp to the touch. hoshina exhales, a small cloud of breath dispersing in front of his lips as he watches you. granted you haven't been the most welcoming about the marriage but he was persistent, after all on some days it seemed like you was mere kids - the ones you was when he first met you.

hoshina remembers the day he met you well, you was such a small child perched on the large boulder in his family's courtyard, watching in awe as he trained with his father. back then, you was such an annoyance sometimes, determined to come see him at the worst of times. what had changed? his eyes open a little wider to drink in the sight of you, so peaceful and tranquil hidden this deep in the woods away from expectations and society - and probably him too.

slowly as if approaching a timid animal, the general inches closer to where you are seated beside the stream. every part of hoshina hopes, outside of those expectations you hate, the reputation of clans and his job as the general of the army, he can get through to the version of you he was familiar with before you aged.

"we're pretty far from the city, did you steal one of your father's horses again?" he muses, crouching beside you. he glances around, not exactly spotting a horse tethered up anywhere nearby. you don't respond but the general's lips curl into a small, devious grin, "want to spar?"

it's brief but there's a light in your eyes, one that makes him reminisce your childhood even further. you was raised to be proper and elegant, never allowed to touch a sword but you always watched him with such fervour. perhaps, just perhaps, he's found a crack in the walls you'd put up, ready to chip away slowly, piece by piece.

── eek , hiya cy ! it's nice to meet ya , welcome to my blog ! i'm so glad i got to meet you & hoshina so intricately , please that was such an amazing amount of info ! ! i hope i did justice writing him for the first time (which is shameful as a hoshina shipper myself . . . ) . .✦

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, September 20th

FRED: I've been trying to make an enchilada out of tree bark. ANGEL: Bark enchiladas. Huh. - How's that going? FRED: There is work to be done.

~~There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Anniversary Breakfast by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

In the Dark (With You) by MadeInGold_AfterDark (MadeInGold) (Angel/Angelus, M)

ANDREWS ANTICS by KNZ1 (The Trio, E)

The Arrangement by Emerybird (Giles/Wesley, E)

For My Toy Love by girlpire (Angel/Spike/Drusilla, E)

Stealing Kisses by sapphistically (Buffy/reader, not rated)

I wanna teach you how forever feels by mcgnagallsarmy (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Horrorshow, Chapter 26 by vampbrat (Angel/Spike/Wesley, E)

Don't Swerve, Chapter 10 (complete!) by thisyearsgrrl (Buffy/Faith, E)

Supporting Loki (And Thor), Chapter 12 by SomeMeaninglessName (Willow & Buffy, Marvel crossover, M)

Soul Mate Magic, Chapter 5 by Emma_M_Black (Giles/OC, M)

Spies, High Stakes, and Secrets, Chapter 2 by Rippertish (Buffy/Giles, E)

CAT-SCRATCH FEVER, Chapter 3 (complete!) by KNZ1 (Buffy/Cordelia/Oz, E)

Maps, Chapter 2 by thisyearsgrrl (Buffy/Faith, E)

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 132 by the_big_bad (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Troubling Deaf Heaven, Chapters 3-4 by JuneCurry (Buffy/Spike, R)

What the Drabble? Vol. 2, Chapter 72 by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Stickers: I made an Buffy/Angel Animated Sticker Pack for WhatsApp & Telegram by BabyBlueN7 (worksafe)

Gifs: iwry2023 most sexy fic by I Will Remember You Marathon (Buffy/Angel, worksafe)

Artwork: "We're lonely dancers" by o-cm-draw-o (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: Hot woman wow by peixe-art (Faith, Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Fanvid: BTVS Intro Credits [Friends Style] v.1 by Aurora Edits

Fanvid: You're On Your Own Kid [Buffy Summers] by Aurora Edits

Fanvid: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Oh Yes They Both Reached for the Gun by TheSourCreamQueenEdits (Buffy/Angel & Buffy/Spike)

Fanvid: Buffy and Spike downright iconic by m

Fanvid: Buffy Summers - Infinitesimal by Faith Victoria

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[Reviews & Recaps]

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[houseofbrat]

HoB - dying to hear your thoughts on KP’s latest purchased puff piece in People Magazine. Apparently it’s The King who is ‘limited’ while Willy has picked up all these extra responsibilities and wouldn’t you just know it, Saint Cathy isn’t fully cleared to work yet?

Apparently her and her doctors are ready for glam event appearances. Regular public-facing duties not so much. How much longer are the media going to run interference for the fact that she’s basically quit?

Also- it’s disgusting how gleefully they’re looking forward to the King’s death for the “biggest job of their lives” when they can’t even do their little job.

It really is a case of:

This has to be the most anodyne & ridiculous EXCLUSIVE! article.

As she closes the year with her heartwarming Christmas carol service, Kate Middleton is looking ahead and navigating a new reality. The Dec. 6 service, attended by her husband Prince William, 42, and three children — Prince George, 11, Princess Charlotte, 9, and Prince Louis, 6 — was her fourth since 2020. But this year’s event at Westminster Abbey carried added poignancy. It marked her biggest public outing since completing chemotherapy in September after a grueling year defined by health struggles. “I know how hard it would be to do something like this, putting yourself out there when you may not be feeling 100 percent,” Jenny Powell, a community worker from Abergavenny, Wales, who was among the attendees, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. Kate, 42, in a festive red Alexander McQueen coat and sporting her signature blowout, appeared her usual composed self as she and her family, holding hands, walked down the aisle in front of a crowd of 1,600 guests. But Princess Kate’s nearly yearlong journey with cancer has brought a profound change beneath the familiar exterior. In a rare and candid moment, British pop star Paloma Faith, who performed at the event, asked Kate how she was doing. “I didn’t know this year was going to be the year that I’ve just had,” Kate said.

Riveting EXCLUSIVE! paragraphs.

And how exactly did People magazine, which is an American publication, get that quote from Jenny from Wales? Did Monique Jessen just happen to bump into Jenny from Wales last Friday afternoon and ask Jenny her opinion on Kate's life? Or was it Simon Perry who sat next to Jenny and got her personal scoop on everything.

Jenny Powell, who helps people with disabilities in her town of Abergavenny in South Wales, tells PEOPLE, "It was like saying, ‘We do acknowledge you.' " Since the COVID pandemic, Mrs. Powell set up a group, The Gathering, to do craft-making, provide sensory spaces, offer cooking opportunities and partake in bingo. “In our group, everyone understands everyone else,” she says. At Kate's Together at Christmas concert, the royal placed a letter on each seat that summed up the theme of love and kindness. “It was a gorgeous letter,” Mrs. Powell says. “It really showed her appreciation of what we’re all doing. It was quite touching and brought tears to my eyes." She continues, "These things that I’ve been doing have impacted the lives of people I’ve been supporting, but knowing that the royal family is aware of these little things is lovely.” Mrs. Powell recalls the steel drum band playing and servers handing out mince pies at the event, as well as a “kindness tree," which was positioned near the door. There, helpers handed out red labels and pens "so you could write a note to hang on [the tree] before you went in," she says. When Princess Kate, Prince William and their three children — Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis — arrived, “They looked so happy together," Powell says. “It’s been a hard year, but she put that brave face on and she looked absolutely gorgeous," she adds of Kate, 42, who recently completed chemotherapy after her cancer diagnosis.

Well, well, well...looks like Jenny from Wales had A LOT to say to an American media outlet in an EXCLUSIVE! magazine story.

But then back to the original EXCLUSIVE!

As Kate continues her recovery, she’s confronting the looming responsibilities of her future role as Queen. Following Queen Elizabeth’s death in September 2022, William and Kate found themselves on the brink of the roles of King and Queen. When William’s father, King Charles, 76, revealed his own cancer diagnosis in February — treatment for an undisclosed form of cancer remains ongoing — that position came into sharper focus. Additionally, Queen Camilla, 77, was recently forced to step back from several royal engagements as she battled pneumonia, a further reminder of the family’s vulnerability.  “It has been a hell of a two years for them,” Camilla’s son Tom Parker Bowles told The Daily Telegraph. “The older you get, the more conscious you become of mortality, especially with illnesses and the rest of it.” Royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith adds, “Although the King is carrying out his duties with typical determination, he has had to accept limitations during his cancer treatment. As a result William has been taking on more responsibilities, and he and Kate have been preparing for their future roles sooner than they would have expected.” Adds an insider: “There’s a sense of calm before the storm. They are next in line for the biggest job of their lives, and of course, Kate’s health has taken priority, but it’s also allowed everyone to take a step back and figure out what’s important right now.”

"A sense of calm before the storm."

Oh, is someone expecting a big scandal or something? Charles quite obviously isn't dying anytime soon, so why even use that phrase? Is Kensington Palace expecting to shock us all with a photo of William and his beard on the Christmas card photo?

It's pretty clear that there is no actual information in this article, which is amazing because it's so obviously KP sanctioned pr.

The transition to the throne will inevitably come, though it remains a complex and carefully considered path. “It is something the institution is always mindful of,” says a close source of how plans are frequently updated. “It is an institutional preparedness.” The source adds, “Their circumstances will eventually change. Given what the future holds, it would be very sensible to build back slowly and prioritize family time.” The Prince and Princess of Wales and their children are set to spend Christmas at Sandringham with King Charles. There they’ll participate in the royal family’s celebrations and — hopefully — join in the traditional walk to and from church.

"The transition to the throne will inevitably come." "Their circumstances will eventually change."

The sun also rises tomorrow, but we don't need a magazine to tell us that, do we?

Yes, why is Kensington Palace doing a holiday EXCLUSIVE! in an American magazine right before the holidays? People magazine is essentially Publicists' Weekly. It has been for decades, which is why the writer at CDAN has always referred to it as "kneepads."

Not a very Christmasy photo for a magazine with the date of actual Christmas on the cover.

Interesting that they chose this photo and not one from the actual Christmas service that happened last Friday. The photos from that would have been unquestionably available to People's editors.

But still, why does Kensington Palace want to remind everyone--everyone in the USA--that Kate will be queen one day? The big font of KATE'S NEW REALITY could be interpreted so many different ways, but Kate should have been preparing to be queen from the moment she married William, not the holiday season of 2024.

Oh look! US Weekly is getting in the Christmas spirit with Kate on the cover too!

And with an old picture?

Again, was there something wrong with the photos from last Friday? Did Kate not look festive enough with the black bow against the bright red coat dress?

Hello! magazine in the UK also is using the same photo as US Weekly.

I find less fault of a UK magazine having Kate on the cover at Christmas time than American publications.

However, neither of the photos of Kate are current ones. Interesting. Again, some editor did not feel like using the photos from last Friday. Did the kids not walk up the stairs at the Abbey in the right way or something?

Oh, yeah, and Vanity Fair decided to repeat the People mag talking points:

“I didn’t know this year was going to be the year that I’ve just had,” Kate said.

That was the only thing Kate said about "her year" while she was at the her Christmas concert last Friday, yet the KP comms team has swooped into action to build a full-fledge story around it.

They even got Kate a spot on the short-list for Time magazine's Person of the Year.

The Princess of Wales made international headlines this year and stirred a conversation about privacy and health for public figures. In January, Kate Middleton was hospitalized for two weeks for a “planned abdominal surgery” and Kensington Palace said she would be out of the public eye until Easter. But after conspiracy theories circulated online in March about Middleton’s whereabouts, the royal put the rumors to rest by revealing that she had been diagnosed with cancer. In September, Middleton announced that she had completed her chemotherapy treatment. Middleton was previously on the TIME100 list of Most Influential People in 2013, and one of the runners-up for Person of the Year in 2011.

You know what's NOT mentioned in that paragraph?

The 2024 Mother's Day photo that was killed by photo agencies around the world.

A moment that revealed Kensington Palace to be an absolute dumpster fire in handling a crisis.

A moment that caused hundreds or thousands of tiktoks, videos, cartoons, think pieces, stories, comments and jokes.

Say it with me now, "Isn't that convenient?"

Because all of these magazines are part of the great whitewash campaign of 2024 and--soon to be--2025.

It's a pr campaign to prevent anyone from looking behind the curtain and realizing they're living in The Matrix when it comes to believing what is officially being said about Will & Kate and all their obvious problems. One splashy "nothing to see here, please disperse" pictorial in the magazines.

It's pretty obvious that there are problems if the Wales family can spend 30 hours filming a video of Will & Kate frolicking on a beach and in the woods together, yet can't issue a normal Christmas card photo the weekend after Kate's Christmas service. It would have been the perfect photo to go with all of these magazine spreads, but it has yet to be released.

Am I to assume that KP isn't going to release it until the kids are out of school? And why is that? Because William will be on vacation for another three and a half weeks so he can go hide from the media?

The kids started school in the fall on 04 September, and Kate's video was released on 09 September. Didn't have a problem releasing that video of Will & Kate fondling each other in the woods and on the beach when the kids were in school.

Is it that Will & Kate will need to have a special conversation with their kids after the release of the Christmas card? And that's why they have to wait to release it until the kids are out of school? Just like when Kate sat on a bench and told the world "cancer had been present" but couldn't tell her kids about it until they went on a month long break?

Interesting parallels.

How hard is it to release a Christmas card when Kensington Palace has released so much visual documentation of Will, Kate, and the kids this year already?

Asking for a friend...

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Girl so real avoiding your hw like FUCK finals I hate college

Erm anyways what songs do you associate with Yellowjackets from your Spotify wrapped top 100/whatever the fuck Apple Music does depending on which u use

Ty for validating my procrastination, I have two essays an a presentation due in a few days and I haven’t started😌

Anyways YJ completely changed my music taste I LOVE that soundtrack. Cornflake Girl was my number 1 song for this year, I’ve also got a lot of Florence + The Machine on there, Veruca Salt, Radiohead (I regularly listen to Street Spirit when I’m in the mood for a mental breakdown), The Cranberries, ETC.

Also this show made me come around to the Paloma Faith version of Never Tear Us Apart I used to hate it but now I may or may not like it more than the original…

I can’t wait for Season 3 to transform my music taste again fr.

[mintytea-exe]

notre dame by paris paloma reminds me so much of The Silt Verses so I MUST write about it

‼️spoilers for the entire series so far‼️

This reminds me so much of Paige and Hayward's position in Season 3. They didn't choose to be the leaders of a cause, Paige says so herself in Chapter 32 that their intention was to create a weapon that could be used by victims and martyrs. Instead their faith has become an international movement, one neither of them could have imagined. They created a god that shakes the concept of faith in the world they inhabit. Yet Paige is isolated by it. She's the prophet of a god she created, one that reflects the turmoil over her mother's death and directly results in her father's death. She trusts Hayward but disagrees with him. She's become less of a participant in her own faith and more of an observer, and she's deeply unhappy. Hayward, in comparison, has found both hope and meaning. He's still lying, but he's lying for a cause he believes in. He's charismatic and likeable, a natural leader where Paige is not. He doesn't revel in the choices he has to make, but understands they're necessary.

Any line about exile automatically makes me think of Carpenter. She is an exile multiple times over. She believes herself to be exiled from her own humanity, but due to the guilt and shame clearly expressed in her interaction with the Sorrow-And-Shame (Chapter 24) it's clear that she is incredibly human. Exiled from her family, partially imposed upon her by their deaths and partially self-imposed by her choice to change her name. Exiled from the Parish of Tide and Flesh when she loses her faith and defects at the end of season 1, and by Faulkner pinning Mason's death on her at the end of season 2. She found meaning in acting for the Parish, and going on pilgrimages when she was 18. She found meaning in the Cairn Maiden, but it is not her calling. She helps Paige and Hayward because it gives her life direction. She's spent her whole life running, yes, but she's also spent her whole life searching for meaning.

This section just reminds me of the world building of The Silt Verses as a whole. In a world full of so much inequality, suffering is inevitable. It's what makes Paige and Hayward's creation of the Many Below/Woundtree so powerful, and such a threat. So many people have been wronged by the system that the Linger Straits and the Peninsula have both been built on and that sorrow can only last so long before it turns to anger.

I think this is equal parts both Faulkner and Carpenter. Of course, Faulkner could very well be described as a sinner but he is looked up to as a Katabasian and Prophet of the River (albeit due to his manipulation and charisma). In many ways he does belong, or at least he strives to belong. But he's an outsider to the faith, constantly having to prove himself worthy at every turn. In comparison, Carpenter should feel belonging - her family were extremely influential within the Parish. Except she doesn't belong either. Both of these characters struggle with their own identity and belonging, although in very different ways.

Faith genuinely seems to give people in The Silt Verses comfort (the Children of the Woundtree, the Parish of Tide and Flesh). The final line fits a number of characters: Acantha, Carpenter, Faulkner and Paige. Acantha buries the dead, she exudes so much kindness in her worship of the Cairn Maiden. She provides peace to the desperate, who can no longer find it in anything other than a restful death. Carpenter, but acting for the Cairn Maiden, and with her inclination to help save others, is similar to Acantha. She's far less patient, and much snarkier, but she has a genuine passion to care for a look after others. This is even sometimes to her own detriment (Chapters 19, 29 and 34). Faulkner believes himself to be a prophet, he perhaps has an elevated sense of his own importance and acts according to it. But he's very capable of acknowledging when his actions have doomed others (chapter 28) and when he has failed. He has confidence in his own skills as a leader. Paige is the most unwilling in her position in "looking down". She has had this role thrust upon her, where others look up to her for guidance. Her god's role is to help the desperate and hopeless. Again she is an observer of what she has created, and has very little control over it.