#painting is also nearly finished just taking a break because i still dont know how i did that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mingot-studios · 3 years

Text

Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)

How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point

The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it

Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)

Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?

The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL

my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)

The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English

The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials

The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play

I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom

I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months

I have so much energy right now but no outlets

I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year

I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one

Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything

The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems

So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install

I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me

These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days

The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids

Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life

Capitalism

i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)

I have 0 patience and i hate it

I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made

i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself

the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics

i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change

having gender panic

I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people

ive become a noodle limbed nerd

Ive gotten super skinny

I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it

everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting

I feel trapped and scraed

The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry

I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further

I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress

I cant take crticisim even though i know its true

The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter

Star Vs wasted potential

the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club

I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle

#the owl house #yume 2kki #thurston waffles #star vs the forces of evil #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #jojolion #one piece #vent #save infinity train #infinity train #amphibia #gravity falls #the crypto club #invader zim #Princess Ovilium Midorihato Metamorphosis Androma Serugi The First #Princess Ovil

30 notes · View notes

honesthammie · 3 years

Text

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #female reader

31 notes · View notes

birdwonder · 5 years

Note

Not sure if you’ll allow this or not but I’ll try. Before Christmas is over and I’m officially late. How about Josuke, Kakyoin and senku (see? Since it’s from more than one fandom dunno if it’s alright) where their friend is working on Christmas decorations and suddenly picks them up and when they ask “what are you doing” they just respond with “putting the star on the Christmas tree.” (If the multiple fandom thing messes with the master list you can drop senku :3)

|| you, my friend, have saved me in the way the way that because i dont have time to write a christmas special - i answered your’s before the day ended to be one instead ! and also because i wanted to write smth for Kakyoin and Senku but didn’t have the ideas :D i dont mind doing multifandom requests ! though im going to put Senku in my next post, separately so i hope that’s ok ! this took a whole day to write since its Christmas so i’ve been busy so i hope the poor quality isn’t too bad ! [ btw theyre all sort of romantic to some extent ? i hope thats ok ! ]

Josuke + Kakyoin | Christmas Tree Decorating

Noriaki Kakyoin

“Oh honey, could you pass me the red bauble please?”

When the words reached his ears, Kakyoin raised his head from the box he was shuffling through and nodded in response to the request his wife had made. “No problem,” he curtly said, picking up the aforementioned decoration and standing up to hand it over to the shorter lover, smiling when you gave him your own grin.

Decorating the Christmas tree was a special tradition between the two of you since it gave a sense of family within your home and allowed you to bond both in silence and verbally whenever one of you made a silly comment or cracked a small joke.

Nimble fingers carefully took the fragile ball and hooked it’s string onto the evergreen’s branch, it’s evergreen aspect coming from the fact it was artificial, something Kakyoin and you decided would be the best choice financially and it would make things infinitely more convenient than going out every year to try and fit a large tree into a car. As you pulled away from the tree, arms wrapped around your torso and the red headed man rested his chin upon your shoulder, humming in content at the hard work you two poured into turning the once plain tree into a true Christmas living room centre piece.

“It’s just perfect, you did so well,” Kakyoin praised, turning his face a little to press a kiss upon your cheek to further his compliment. You then turned your own head turned to the side to kiss Kakyoin fully, tired fingers stroking over his pale cheek that was accustomed to your gentle affections and welcoming touch.

“Hush you, you did as much as me! I would still be working on this thing if I didn’t have my wonderful husband to help me.” You exalterd, removeing your hand from him by dragging your fingertips from his cheek down to his jaw, moving your body away from his so that you could place your hands on your hips in a determined manner. You then added, “we’re not done yet, though!”

“What do you mean?” Kakyoin tilted his head to the side, looking the tree up and down to attempt to understand. Baubles? Check. Tinsel? Check. Lights? Check. There wasn’t a single free space for anything more on the tree so he was struggling to see what else you could want really.

“Kakyoin don’t you see?” You jokingly scolded, pointing upwards, “we haven’t added the star yet!”

The ex-Crusader made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, almost slapping a hand over his face over his mistake. The star! How could he forget? It was only the most satisfying thing to add to the tree, especially when you both spent hours a couple of years ago choosing the perfect one. You both had almost settled on angel instead because choosing a star was strangely difficult, though you both realised that a winged person would take even longer to pick.

“Of course! Sorry about that,” he chuckled, albeit a little nervously due to his mistake, “let me put it up then.” With that, he swooped down to pick you up into his arms, arms around the back of your knees and the side of his face resting against your stomach until he look up to see your face with a mixed expression of shock and confusion.

“Honey, what are you doing?” You gasped, momentarily worried that you would fall back against the tree until you realised that Kakyoin was both too strong and reliable for that. Still, you were perplexed as to why he had picked you up.

“Well, you are my star, so it’s fitting if we put you up there.”

Kakyoin gave you the sweetest look, eyes soft with love while you stared back with wide eyes and heart skipping a beat. “Noriaki... You’re so lame.~”

Your husband then gasped at that, letting you down and mocking a look of hurt. “How could you? After I gave you all my love in one sentence!” His uncharacteristic offence over your words made you giggle and led you to give him a sweet kiss, which quickly made up for your insult.

“Come on you big cherry baby, we got a star to put up.”

“‘Big cherry baby’ ? Really?”

“You know it!”

Josuke Higashikata

It was your duty to decorate the school’s christmas tree this year, and luckily for you it wasn’t all that large either so a one man job was not impossible or too straining. You had even finished most of the tree by now, carefully plotting where to place the baubles so they were evenly spaced and wrapping around lights to make the whole thing stand out was much easier than one would have thought. The emotional reward was amazing too, knowing that you had taken up a job everyone else complained about it and refused was pretty gratifying.

Taking a step back from the tree, you admired your handy work. None of the lights were turned on but even so the tree looked immaculate! You had even hand made a couple of decorations with the help of Koichi and Rohan before hand to add to your own trees at home, so you used the spares to add a fresh look on the school’s old, reusable tree that apparently always looked the same according to the older years. Honestly if you weren’t commended publicly in the next school assembly, you would have to complain. Well, you wouldn’t because that would be pompous and bit too much effort, but you knew you deserved at least some praise from the staff who should really be the ones doing all the work.

Still, there was something off about the tree, as though you had forgotten something...

Ah, the star!

How could you forget the most important and noticeable thing of all? You knocked your knuckles onto the top of your head for being so mindless before moving over to a couple of boxes, rummaging through a few until you found the gold painted star, the sides perfectly coated with silver glitter to make the whole thing pop. “There we go, now if I’m not mistaken you belong up there, Mr Star,” you giggle, mumbling to yourself in the most dorkiest way that you were glad no one was in the immediate vicinity to overhear you.

The tree may not have been colossal however it wasn’t easy to reach the top, so a teacher had given you a stool to stand upon when need be, not that you trusted it to support you whole heartedly. Stepping onto the stool, you balanced on your tiptoes to help you lean up and place the star on the top of the tree, something that was proving to be more difficult than you had expected. “Just a little further,” you urged yourself on, trying your best to reach.

You really should have expected that things were going too perfectly as a sudden crack was heard, and if you had to guess, it was from the leg of the stool.

Sucking in a harsh breath, you felt the weight of both you and the stool give out, sending you falling backwards with the star hugged close to your chest to keep it from breaking. Your priorities really weren’t in order.

As all good stories go, the pain of your back hitting the floor had never came and instead you felt firm yet comfortable arms wrap around your body. Your eyes were squeezed shut from fear of the impact, your lids remaining closed even when your were caught as a part of you assumed you just hadn’t hit the ground yet, even though the fall wasn’t nearly as long as you made it out to be in your head. You only finally opened your eyes when you heard a warm, friendly voice say, “hey, you know I caught you right? You can open your eyes!”

You peaked from under your eye lids to see the familiar face of Josuke, a wide grin on his face like he was proud that he had caught you just in the nick of time, and his whole face was lit up like a Christmas tree. Speaking of actually.

“Ah, thank you so much Josuke!” You hugged him as best as you could while being held in a bridal style and holding onto the star, pressing your cheek against his to which his own turned pink slightly, a laugh escaping him. It really was a good thing he had caught you or else who knows what could have happened? If the star broke the school staff would sure be against you.

“It’s no problem, I’m glad I came to see how you were doing now! Guess you could say I’m your knight in shining armour,” Josuke teased, making you laugh along with him. It was clear that no matter what, he really had a gift for making you ten times happier than before. “I guess I can,” you responded, looking over to the now broken and fallen stool, trailing your eyes up to the top of the tree and groaning. “That’s just great, there’s no way I can put the star up now!”

Your distressed tone made Josuke frown a little. He didn’t really see why it would be such a big deal, especially when it was the staff’s fault for giving you a stool with rotting wood legs and it wasn’t like it should be your job to decorate the tree. Lazy bastards.

Then, he had an idea. He placed you down onto the floor to which you thanked him for until you yelped out in surprise. With a mischievous sounding chuckle, Josuke’s hands grabbed your hips from behind and he squatted down. You turned your head to give him a questioning look and only got a wink in return, your body suddenly being hoisted up up so that you were sitting on Josuke’s shoulders, a leg on either side of his head. “J-Josuke! What are you doing?!”

“Huh? Isn’t it obvious [F/N]? I’m helping you put the star up on the tree,” he replied, his words coming out much smoother than they usually did, almost as though he was flirting with you. You flustered a little at the thought though you were unsure why, he was just helping you out! It wasn’t like he was insinuating anything or even praising you after all.

Once again, you meekly thanked him and gripped the base of the star, slotting the hole underneath it onto the top spike of the pine tree with caution, praying that nothing broke or that you made him uncomfortable by having to lean forwards. “There! The job is done and I don’t have to spend a second longer on this tree,” you proudly declared, expecting some sort of congratulations from the highschooler beneath you. After a long pause, you spoke again, “uh, you can put me down now Josuke.”

“Hm? Oh sorry, I thought we weren’t done yet, since y’know, you’re the star here.” He said, his flirty tone returning with a hint of comedy in it, probably because he couldn’t even take himself seriously in the currenr situation.

You almost choked at his words, heat rushing to your cheeks and you whacked the pompadour that blocked your ability to see his face. “Josuke, that was so cheesy! Just put me down already and help me clean up!”

“Ok, ok, whatever you say lil’ star,” he teased, crouching down to let you jump off his shoulders and giving you a side hug afterwards. “You have to admit though, that was pretty smooth.”

Rolling your eyes, you nudged him with a smile before pushing him away towards the pile of empty boxes that once hosted the large amount of decorations you used, “yeah sure, whatever you say Casanova, let’s just get to work.”

#kakyoin #kakyoin x reader #josuke higashikata #josuke x reader #jjba x reader #request #i am not satisfied with the quality of this at all im sorry

218 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 4 years

Text

I feel a lot better but I felt sort of terrible when I got home from work. I did not sleep well last night. Like I almost didnt sleep at all. And then my alarm didnt go off and I was sort of frazzled.

But things were okay. I got dressed and felt alright enough. James walked downstairs with me because he was doing the laundry. And I was able to leave on time still.

It was a pretty nice day. I felt very busy though! I had brought lots of stuff to sew and that was nice. And I had a new child who was a sweetheart. She spoke in whispers for most of the day but eventually she opened up and was a total sweetheart. The 2nd graders I have just seem so young this year. And trying to teach them math sucks!!! Mostly because I hate common core, and I am not good at math. So I did my best showing them how I would solve things. At least the answers are right I guess?

It was a fun time though. The girls sewed. I sewed. I listened to some history podcasts. I even got most of us outside for a half hour and that was pretty sweet. We did not paint today after tomorrows mess. I had one parent not happy with the paint on their kids coat. Ugh. I forget that people care about that because I am always covered in some art material. I wonder if I will care all that much when I have kids?

I was pleased with my making today though. I finished all 6 bears I had and 2 frogs. The third frog was to messed up (it was a mistake from forever ago) so I will have to take it apart and start over. But I made a lot of progress and that was pretty sweet. I am probably going to take a break from making plushing soon. Try to work on some other stuff so I dont burn out. I am still having fun right now though so thats pretty nice.

I stll felt pretty good at the end of the day. I didnt have to be upset with the kids nearly as much over videos and things. In general they are being pretty chill about doing their work and classes. Tomorrow my plan is to make everyone show me their school work and we will catch up on any work they have to do. They keep referring to wednesday as a half day but it isnt!! Itll be cool but I am prepared for weird downtime tomorrow for the kids so I am bringing weird art things for them to play with that arent as messy.

I was glad to go home only because I was hungry and a little tired. It was cold out and so I ordered chipotle to pick up and headed out.

I was a little frustrated with chipotle because they apparently charge for salad dressing now but they didnt give that as an option on the site and i didnt bring my wallet in and then I felt really weird about the interaction and was weirdly upset.

But I got home and felt a little better. Mr Will was outside when I was getting back. And I let him know it was cold in the apartment and he said he would check it out. He seemed kind of down too. But I was to tired to stay and have a chat. I hope he's alright.

I seperated my chipotle in half so I could have it for lunch tomorrow. And I sat and played animal crossing while I ate and then I was like. Im tired. I didnt have to do any packages today. I just put my finished things in the photobox and laid down.

I sort of half napped for a long time. And then at 6 I was just really upset and didnt feel well. I had some water and that helped. But it took almost another hour for me to feel okay.

I hung out in the studio but I didnt make anything. I just took my nail polish off and made a plan for the art Im making tomorrow. I really want to finish my story quilt by saturday. They need it by tuesday but I want to give myself a buffer if they need it specially photographed or something. Well see. I am really excited with the way its coming out though and now its just putting the figures down and Im excited about that. Im also pumped to think about how I can use this idea in different projects.

I got a shower and did the dishes and packed my lunch for tomorrow. And now I am in bed waiting for James to come home. I hope we sleep better tonight. And that tomorrow is a good day for us all.

I think because Im working things have felt sort of normal and thats been nice. But I miss my family. I hope they can feel how much I love all of them.

Goodnight everyone. Sleep well.

4 notes · View notes

pathos-logical · 5 years

Text

One Picture, a Thousand Words

Roman is a wonder that cannot be put to words, Logan a marvel that ink cannot capture. They try anyway.

Hoo, this sure was a labor of love! Love because I love @bleepblopbloop56 with all my heart and labor because HOLY HECK WAS THIS HARD TO WRITE. But never mind any of that, because HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my friend!!! I absolutely adore you, and I hope your year is as fantastic as you are!!!

Trigger warnings: Food mention; a joking mention of hallucinations. I think that’s it, but please tell me if I need to add something!!

There are a thousand words Logan could use to describe Roman. He would pull a Shakespeare and invent a thousand more if it meant finding a word that could accurately chronicle the tapestry of Roman, all colorful patches and carefully stitched seams. But Logan is no artist, and his words seem an inadequate medium.

Beautiful, he thinks and immediately discards. That is too obvious, the truth of it plain to see. Lovely is- better. More intimate. But too soft, perhaps, for Roman’s flame-edged hair, the bronze of his skin and the steel in his spine.

He has tried countless words, none of them quite right. Larger-than-life. (And no, his charisma and magnetic smile absolutely did not excuse the way he didn’t seem to know how to shut up.) Captivating. (Roman did have a way with words, when he wasn’t being an idiot.) Extraordinary. (He was quite the artist and actor.) Brilliant. (Again, Roman was rather intelligent when it came down to it.) Perfect. (Technically impossible. But.)

All those words he longs to say, not one spoken aloud.

(Or- once. Alone in his room, he had tried the shape of mine on his mouth, thought about how it tasted on his lips and imagined the look in Roman’s eyes if he ever dared to say it in front of him. Once, and never again.)

Oh, he wishes. But Logan has always been better with words on the page than to other people.

Well, he thinks, looking down at the piece of paper in his hands, I suppose that’s what this is for. His eyes rove over the paper, skimming over phrases without really taking them in. If he reads it he’ll try to fix it, and at this point there’s too much of his heart in the words for him to change them.

He looks at the last paragraph. It’s the kind of declaration he sneers at in the romance novels Roman so adores, the kind of thing he would’ve sneered at barely years ago. But Roman always did have a way of making him question things he’d taken for postulates- himself included.

I tried, over the course of this letter, to pin down what exactly about you has drawn me so irrevocably into your orbit and left me floundering in unfamiliar space. However, as the length of this might indicate, I soon discovered that I could not.

You know me. It is very rare that I find myself lost for words. But I find myself unable to find the correct words to describe you, or even the correct words. Not because I have run out of things to say, or even because you have left me speechless, but because I could use a whole dictionary of love letters and fail to find the words that capture the way your eyes shine in the light when you laugh at your own jokes, and all the cliches in the world cannot express how I feel about every mundane, breathtaking thing about you.

But despite all that, I have three words for you, Roman, and I suppose there is no better day to deliver them than today (as of the day you receive this, at least).

I love you.

Roman has a sketchbook no one but him has ever seen.

The drawings are all in pencil, and Roman aches to paint them, to mix his colors until he finds shades that will truly bring them to life. But Logan is a peculiar kind of monochrome, with his navy hair and black polo shirts and countless blue ties, and Roman fears that no amount of paint could do that justice.

It’s undeniable that the warm brown of Logan’s eyes is a color he itches to find in a colored pencil, that the almond of his skin is one he longs to see redden at his touch. But those aren’t the things he really wants to capture when he puts pencil to paper anyway. No, when he draws Logan, his focus is on the subtle gleam that comes to his eyes when he speaks about something he’s passionate about, the curl of his lips when his emotionless facade breaks at some stupid comment Roman made.

Roman wishes he could show Logan the notebook, sometimes, the days when his longing overpowers his surety in the fact that it could never be reciprocated. He imagines coffee-colored eyes looking through the pages with delight, taking in the devotion clear in the meticulous lines. He pictures the hands he’s spent hours perfecting skimming over paper, taking care not to smudge the lead.

(He sees disgust settling in the curve of Logan’s lips and rejection showing in the set of his shoulders, and he pushes away the thought and hides his notebook under his pillow, pretends that he hasn’t memorized the shape of Logan’s smile.)

But he doesn’t think of any of that today. It’s Valentine’s Day, and Roman is dressed for it. He dons his armor that he definitely did not spend a whole two hours deliberating on and sets out the door armed with a kind of desperate false bravado, which is immediately undermined by how he jumps at his roommate Patton’s encouraging “go get ‘im, tiger!” shouted through the walls.

Still scowling at the door behind him, Roman briefly debates how desperate a text will make him sound before deciding, screw it.

Hey, we still on for lunch at Cream of the Cup?

The reply is prompt, as always, and Roman makes a futile attempt at smothering the smile he knows is blossoming across his lips.

>> Of course.

I’ll see you then!

Roman can so do this.

Virgil I can’t do this

>> why not?? youve been planning this for weeks, youll bbe fine

actually, knowing you, orobably months

Jfkdkfkfkfk

it’s

LOGAN

>> im aware, weve only veen best friends for years now

…

if yoy send a long rambling text ahout how wonderful logan is and how you dont deserve hkm im gonna lose it

roman i swear to god

HE’S JUST SO SMART AND AMAZING AND I’M JUST ME I DON’T DESERVE HIM AND WHAT IF I SCREW THINGS UP BETWEEN US FOREVER AND HE HATES ME OR WHAT IF IT’S AWKWARD I’M OKAY WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS REALLY HE PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN LIKE ME THAT WAY ANYWAY I MEAN WHY WOULD HE

Whoops sorry

>> youre not

I’m not

But

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>> okay roman, listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once.

first of all, cut it with the self-deprecating crap. one, that’s my thing. and two, I WILL pull a patton and fight you.

stop doubting yourself, it doesn’t suit you

I might not have known you as long as I’ve known logan, but I know

I can see you typing. shut up.

maybe I haven’t known you as long as I’ve known Logan, but I do know you’re a good guy, and you /clearly/ love him

KSKFKFKKFKGD W H A T

>> yes, everyone knows, no, Logan does not, LET ME FINISH

it means a LOT to him that you actually read the articles he sends you about mars rovers at 3 am and that you don’t tell him he’s annoying for infodumping about alpha centauri or whatever star system he’s planning to go to and that you deal with his hypocrisy about sleep schedules and his general inability to do emotions

also, knowing him for years means I know his type, and trust me, you’re it

and even if by some miracle he doesn’t like you back, you guys are too close to ruin your friendship. okay? so however this ends, I promise you’ll still be friends

>> But

ROMAN

listen, you don’t tune him out when he starts babbling, and he does the same for you. he loves listening to your rants about art theory, he goes to every single one of your shows, and he started learning Spanish just to impress you. yes, he’s learned more phrases than just insults, he’s just been hiding it so he can surprise (aka impress) you later

and roman? he really really does value your friendship. you know that we’ve known each other since forever, so you know I mean it when I say that I’ve NEVER seen him get so close to someone this quickly.

and… you’ve been good for him too, okay? he’s not really the type to get lonely, but that’s just because he gets so tied up in his giant brain he forgets there are people in the outside world to talk to. but it really is important to him that you’re always there for him, and… I can tell you right now that he’s told me how much he appreciates you for it

after all that? I’d say he loves you too, dude. go for it.

you can talk now

Holy heck you DO love me

>> eh

Holy HECK

Wait

Did you turn on autocorrect just to yell at me???

>> Only for you, babe.

Please never do that again

yeaj that was oncredibly unconfortable

now GO GET YOUR MAN

Roman, for all his theatrics about love at first sight and true love’s kiss, hadn’t mentioned Valentine’s Day plans once in the weeks leading up to it. Then, exactly one week ago, he’d texted Logan with a simple request to meet up at a nearby cafe. Logan knew him too well to miss the possible connotations of such an invitation. But it was entirely possible that this was merely meant to be an outing between two friends. A platonic outing.

A platonic outing where there was barely room to stand, forget sit. Logan curses under his breath. He’d decided for once to not show up fifteen minutes early, as that would only give him more time to second-guess himself, especially as Roman was notorious for being chronically late. But he had failed to account for the obvious fact that, it being both a Saturday and Valentine’s Day, the usually quiet cafe is filled to the brim with couples ordering the heart-themed specials and kissing and generally clogging the air with sweet words and PDA. And no, Logan is not irrationally annoyed about this, he’s just worried he won’t be able to secure an empty table for him and Roman.

But just as the thought crosses his mind, he catches a familiar head of fiery hair at a table against the wall, bent over his phone and apparently completely absorbed by whatever he was looking at. An incredulous “Roman?” slips from his lips unbidden, because- well, Roman had once nearly been late to the first show he was the lead in. But there he was, reserving a table at exactly 12:30 with a croissant in front of him. Maybe today really was a day for miracles.

He watches with amusement as Roman jumps and looks up at the sound of his name. His face lights up as soon as he registers who it is, and Logan abruptly goes from amused to filled with some kind of fluttery warmth he doesn’t want to quantify.

“Logan!” Roman exclaims, hurriedly tucking his phone away. “Hey! How are you?” His smile beams out like the sun, but it dims upon Logan’s next words.

“Not well, unfortunately,” Logan informs him gravely. “I fear I have been having severe auditory and visual hallucinations. For example, I am currently experiencing one so vivid that I believe I am conversing with a friend in a cafe when I know that there is no chance of him being here yet.” Maybe Logan should feel bad about the way Roman’s expression morphs from worry to alarm to overblown outrage, but the challenging gleam in his eyes arrests him as surely as that of of Roman’s heart-shaped studs, and he can’t bring himself to regret it.

“Hey, I’m not always late!” he protests so loudly several patrons turn to look at him, perhaps expecting a scene.

Logan can’t help the smirk that creeps across his face as he slides into the seat opposite Roman, surreptitiously tucking a navy blue folder besides him. Thank goodness for Roman being typically Roman and reserving a booth that could seat six for a party of two. “Roman. Once Virgil and I deliberately told you to meet up an hour after we were actually supposed to meet so that when you inevitably showed up late, it would only be by five minutes rather than fifty. And the very idea that you could be on time for something went so flagrantly against the laws of the universe that the universe struck back by making your car break down, and you missed the meeting entirely.”

“Is that what happened?” Roman asks, looking so genuinely gobsmacked that Logan can’t help the snicker that escapes him. Roman’s expression flips to one of self-satisfaction, and Logan tries to ignore the little burst of fondness in his chest at the sight. Even if the rest of today goes horribly, at least he can savor this easy banter between them.

And banter they do, debating over whether Logan’s physics professor or Roman’s marketing professor is more inept before commiserating over the “perpetual hell week” that is college. They bounce from the disappointing latest installment of one of Roman’s favorite series to a terrible documentary on aliens Logan had found on a “science” channel (“It’s called a having a basic grasp of eighth-grade geometry, Roman- which, unlike this nine-thousand year old civilization, these morons have clearly never achieved!”) to every little thing in between, their food forgotten in front of them.

It’s nothing special, technically- they’ve been friends for years now, and they often have talks about everything and nothing. But today Logan can convince himself that an electric current is charging the air between them, flushing Roman’s cheeks and lighting up his eyes as Logan is drawn in, helpless against his magnetism.

There’s no decisive moment where Logan thinks, this is it. There’s just Roman, his laughter like bells in the breeze, and Logan, gazing at him like he’d put the stars in the sky.

“Roman,” he says. That’s it- Roman.

Roman is still giggling at his rendition of the student who’d spilled their coffee on the drama professor on the first day, but he sobers at whatever look is on Logan’s face. “Hey- you good, Lo?”

The nickname catches at something in Logan’s chest, pulls it open so the next words come just a little harder, just a little easier. “Roman,” he says again, looking down. “I do not wish to… ruin the mood, but I have something to confess.”

(He’s looking down, so he misses the way Roman jumps at the last word.)

But when he meets Roman’s eyes, open and curious, Logan’s confidence abandons him. He exhales slowly in an attempt to regain some of the feeling from before, like the memory of Roman’s voice will fortify his. But all that comes out is: “I wrote- would you-”

Logan’s throat fails him entirely, something a little like dread and a little like hope clogging it up. Without another word, he slides the folder he had kept tucked at his side to Roman. When Roman raises a curious eyebrow, Logan simply smiles- a quick, brittle thing- and motions for him to open it.

Earlier, the noise in the cafe had distracted Logan, had made him frown when it rose over Roman’s voice. But suddenly it all fades into the background, the chatter of voices and clatter of spoons receding in favor of the thwip of the folder opening, the little breath Roman takes when he reads the first two words.

Dimly, Logan thinks he must have used up all his words in the letter. His fingers lay still at his sides, mind is utterly blank as he watches Roman read it. But his heart is pounding loud enough that for an absurd second, he’s sure Roman can hear it in the sudden quiet.

Logan waits for a minute, maybe five. He thinks he’d wait for Roman forever if he asked. But Roman doesn’t make him wait that long, because when he looks up his eyes are wet with tears, and when Logan uselessly opens his mouth- to do what? His voice certainly hasn’t returned- Roman lurches forward, clumsy in a way Logan has never known him, and seals their lips with a kiss.

And when they finally draw apart, Logan thinks he’s regained his words (or maybe just these three), because they force themselves out of his lips like they’ve been waiting to do so since Logan said Roman’s name. And Roman, his face a study in the kind of shock and delight that can only come from a thought-to-be-hopeless dream coming true, returns them.

#logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #my writing #a whole dictionary of love letters

164 notes · View notes

where-theres-smoak-2 · 4 years

Text

Riverdale Season 5 Theories

So I’ve crawled out from under the rock I’ve been hiding under and discovered that there’s been some info for season 5 of Riverdale that’s been released. So far warning I’m probably going to be putting out alot of Riverdale posts, it seems my interest in the show has been reinvigorated. Seeing as some details have come out I figured I would give you my thoughts and theories on them. I did a kind of theory post previously at the end of my 4x19 review post which you can read here if you are interested and to my surprise, if these detals that have come out are accurate, then quite a few of my theories were actually on the right track. So if you would like to know my thoguhts and speculation on season 5 based on the new info then read on below the cut. Obviously there are potential spoilers for season 5.

Ok so what info has been released? Well first we had the cast calls. There were 9 (maybe 10 but I’ll get into that later) in total. Then I think it was like a day or two later we got some audition videos. There have also been a couple of little tidbits from Lili Reinhart.

I’ll start with the little tidbits from Lili. In a couple of interviews she has done we learnt two things about Riverdale. One is that the time jump is possibly going to be 7 years not 5. I personally think this is a good thing because it means that they would have had a bit of time post college to get established in their chosen careers and what not. The other thing that Lili talked about was Barchie. When asked if she had any information she could give on the future of Barchie Lili responded that she thought it was inevitable that they would have to explore the feelings that they obviously have for each other. So it does look likely that they’ll be having Barchie in a relationhsip in season 5. I’m a barchie shipper so naturally I am happy about that. I’ve said it before but I do think they need to explore those feelings whether it turns out that they are perfect together and end up as endgame or whether it ultimately doesn’t work out they need to give it a good shot because if they don’t they are going to have a hard time having a meaningful and lasting relationship with anyone because they’ll always be that what if hanging over them if that makes sense. Not sure I’ve worded that in the best way. I guess what I mean is that any relatiobship they have with other people has the potential to be ruined because of unexplored feelings flaring up anytime Barchie spend time with each other. It’s better that they give a realtionship a shot and know for sure.

Now in regards to the casting calls, the first thing I need to say is I don’t know if these casting calls are confirmed or not so we should definitely be taking them with a pinch of salt. Another reason to be cautious is that sometimes the casting calls aren’t always exactly what the role is, especially if the show runners are trying to keep some level of secrecy. For example there was a tv show I watched, Fox’s the Gifted, which was an xmen spinoff show and several cast members talked about how when the went in for their casting calls/Auditions they themselves didn’t even know who they were playing. The characters names were different on the casting call and they just gave a vague description of the characteristics of the charater. I couldn’t find all of the interviews but below is one from Amy Acker where she talks about how they were really secretive during the casting process.

Now I know they are different shows but my point is the Riverdale producers could be using a similar technique and so these casting calls and videos may not be 100% accurate. Also its worth bearing in mind that even if these are accurate and they aren’t using fake names or details at all they could still change before the show airs. So we need to bare in mind that what we are seeing right now might not be in the show when it does eventually end up on tv. All of that being said here’s what my thoughts on each of the casting calls and what I think it might mean for the show going forward.

So the first one is the character of Jessica who is Jughead’s girlfriend. This is one of the characters that had a casting video with it too with some potential script details. What seems to be clear from the casting description and video is that this relationship is not in the best of places. In the casting video the girldfriend is actually on the verge of moving out and talks about how Jughead cares more about the book he isn’t writing than her and she’s fed up with the debt collectors knocking on the door. I can see this going one of two ways. Either Jessica is going to be a very minor character who is only in one or two episodes where we are seeing the very end of their relationship and so Jughead arrives back in Riverdale with writers block, a huge amount of debt and a broken down relationship, It could just be a way of putting Jughead in the lowest possible place they can so that he is coming back to Riverdale very much disenfranchised and broken down. The snag in this theory is it does list her as a reurring character so unless after their entitial break up she then comes looking for Jughead or it could be that she is in flashbacks of the 7 years that has passed. I said in my predictions at the end of my 4x19 review that I believed that Jughead would be struggling to wrtie a book and would come back to Riverdale for inspiration. After seeing this casting call and video I’m even more sure of this. The question is whether he brings his girlfriend with him or not because the other option is that she isn’t a minor one episode character and that Jughead convinces her to give their relationship one last chance and to move to Riverdale with him and he makes promises that once in Riverdale things will be better, he’ll have the inspiration to finish his book and that’ll bring in some money so they’ll be able to pay off their debts and start a wonderful new life together. Of course I dont think this will work and ultimately their relationship will end. I could also see Jessica being manipulated into going against Jughead by possibly Hiram if he and Jughead have some kind of rivalry going on season 5 or if not him then whoever the big bad of the season is.

Another prediction I made was that I thought Veronica would return to Riverdale engaged to a rich, ambitious man. Well according to this casting call I was half right she will return in a relationship with a rich and ambitious fellow but they won’t be engaged they’ll actually be married. Like Jughead and his girlfriend it doesn’t look like this relationship is going so well. They haven’t painted a great picture of Veronica’s husband describing him as controlling and neurotic but well are any of us really surprised that Veronica ended up married to a man that from the sounds of it is just like her father? This was another one where there was also a casting video. In it we learn that they were both involved in a plane crash and that nearly killed Veronica. The interesting thing to me was in the casting video Chad came across as seeming to generally care about Veronica. He talks about how when the plane was going down he prayed that she would be the one to survive. However there seems to be some conflict between them where Chad wants to start a family together and try to have a baby whereas Veronica doesn’t seem quite so eager to try for a baby. I did think that maybe they would go with a storyline that Veronica’s injuries from the plane crash actually resulted in her being unable to have children but that she is hiding that from her husband for what ever reason whether its because she doesn’t want to disappoint him or for another reason. Of course it could also just be that she doesn’t want kids. She also claims that Chad is using the accident as an excuse to control her, So there definitely seems to be some trouble in paradise here. To be honest I’m not as sure as I was with Jughead and Jessica that this relationship will end in season 5. While not being in a great place right now Veronica and Chad seem to have a deeper relationship. I could see this realtionship lasting possible into season 6. Though it does say that Chad’s life is in danger which makes me think it might be a case of they don’t break up but that he is killed. Then we’ll see Veronica trying to work through that loss of her husband and working through that mixture of emotions because on one hand their relationship wasn’t great but at the same time he was still her husband.

The other less likely route they might take is that they might actually give her husband a redemption arc. It’s possible that they’ll make him a character that makes really horrible decisions and behaves badly this season but then in season 6 they have him getting back on the right path and making some character growth.

Another one of my predictions was that I thought Veronica while back in Riverdale might decide to try and make Le Bonne Nuit into a franchise or that it was doing poorly and she wanted to give it another kick start. This is another that I think I might potentially be half right with. Which brings me to the next casting call.

So it looks like we are going to be meeting Pop Tate’s granddaughter and that she wants to turn Pop’s into a franchise. Now correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure Veronica is the current owner of Pop’s. So it is possible that Tabitha will take her idea to Veronica and then her and Veronica will work together to turn it into a franchise. Maybe they make some deal where Tabitha can become a partner in the business if they are successful. It has listed Tabitha as a series regular so it looks like we could see quite a bit of her which I’m looking forward to she could be quite an interesting character and it looks like she has alot of ambition and drive so I could see her getting on well with Veronica.

Ok so this one caught me a little by surprise but gives us a pretty good idea of what is coming next for Archie. Where we left off in season 4 Archie was all set to go off to the Navy Academy where they had a highly competitive boxing program and had made it clear that he wanted to persue a boxing career. However from these casting calls it doesn’t seem like that is what is going to happen, instead it seems Archie is going to join the army. From what we can gather Archie will approach the Army recruitment table so there must be some kind of job fair at school or something. Officer Bradshaw gives Archie some information but stresses to him that it is a serious commitment. Now here’s the thing up unitl now Archie has been very fickle when it comes to deciding what he’s going to do with his life. He can never seem to focus on one goal and has trouble sticking to it when he does take an interest in something. First it was the whole music or football thing, then it was wrestling, then boxing, the youth center, the navy academy. So I think the army might be good for him because it is something he will have to stick to at least until his term of service is up. I said in my prediction post that the show had a problem with Archie as at the time the time jump was said to be 5 years and if Archie went to the naval academy then he would have to do the 4 years in college and then 5 years active service. Which means a 9 year period where he would be away from Riverdale that doesn’t fit in with the 5 year time jump. Him joining the army essentially solves this problem. Now I’m not an expert on the US Military but from what I understand most first term enlistments are 4 years of active duty and 2 years of inactive. This fits in a lot better with that time jump. Also again from what I understand the military also offer shorter terms of service from 2 years, 3 years, 4 years or 5 years. This gives alot more flexibilty for the show to explain why he’s no longer in the military and back in Riverdale. Which brings me to the next part of my speculation. Why is Archie back in Riverdale? Again going back to my prediction post I offered the possibilty that one way they could get Archie back to Riverdale is for him to be injured on duty. Again half right on this one. There will be an injured soldier but its Archie’s friend Eric, not Archie. The casting description talks about how Eric loses his leg and sustains third degree burns when fighting in the Army with Archie. This tells us that Archie was likely with Eric when he was injured. It is possible that Archie was also injured but not to the extent that Eric was. I have a theory that the storyline that they are going to take with Archie is one of survivor’s guilt I suppose you could call it. Archie has always been that character who wants to protect people and save them. So if his friend was injured then I could see Archie carrying alot of guilt that he didn’t save his friend from being injured. I also suspect whatever happens to cause the injury will likely have also killed some of their friends and comrades so he could also be feeling guilty about not being able to save them. This would explain why he becomes a firefighter. I suspect Eric gets injured in some kind of explosion and if that explosion happened inside a building then its highly posible that the building caught on fire and that caused even more death and injuries. This could be what drives Archie to become a firefighter because he resolves to never let anything like that happen to one of his friends again, because he doesn’t want to feel useless, he wants to be able to save people when they need saving and also to some extent to make up for not being able to save his friends, like he thinks if he can save as many people as possible then it’ll help make up for what he preceives as his failure in the army. Whatever happens it was clearly something very traumatic which is why I also think Archie will have PTSD. His friend might possibly have it too from the way they talk about him dealing with his own trauma and going down a dark path. But I do think they might use Eric to portray the kind of physical injuries war can cause and the effect that has on a person and use Archie to show how war can also cause mental injury and how that effects a person. If it is done well then I do think it is an important story to tell. I just hope they treat it with the respect and sensitivity it deserves which I am sure they will.

Another thing I want to touch on quickly is the casting call for a bus driver that takes Archie to the army. In the description they say that the bus driver stops so that Archie can say goodbye to his friends. I said that I thought Betty and Archie were going to have a really emotional kind of goodbye scene. I mentioned how whilst over the last season Betty had been faced with the possibilty of losing Jughead on a couple of occasions she’s never had to think about what it might be like to lose Archie. I also said I thought at what was going to be the end of season 4 a moment would come where Betty would be hit with the realisation that she and Archie are going to be going their seperate ways and might not see each other again. I think this will be that moment. I could see it happening like this. After they’ve all had the big explosive arguments after its revealed that Betty and Archie kissed they will all be angry at each other and not talking. But they realise that they can’t all go their seperate ways angry at the ones they have cared about the most over the last few years and so they all decide to make up. When Betty, Jughead and Veronica get to Archie’s house to patch things up they find out from his mother that he already left for the bus. The three of them race to the bus station to try and catch him before the bus leaves but just miss it and try running after it. This is when Archie notices them and begs the driver to stop the bus which the driver agrees to. Archie then gets off the bus and has one on one conversations with each of them, all very emotional and heartfelt. I also think that when Betty talks to him she will confess that she does have feelings for him but they’ll both agree that the time isn’t right for them right now. So then the core four all go off to their schools etc on ok terms, things are awkward but not hostile anymore. Now what I am going to suggest next could be a bit of a reach fuelled by the fact that I’m a barchie shipper but I do think its possible that after the trauma that causes Eric’s injury happens and Archie returns to Riverdale, Betty might hear that Archie isn’t doing so well and comes back to Riverdale to support him through it all.

So speaking of Betty I was actually really excited when I saw the audition video for this character because it seems like Betty will be coming back to Riverdale as a FBI agent which is exactly what I predicted would happen. I said that I thought she seemed to be really interested in the FBI Juniour program and thought she might continue to persue that career path. In the casting video the FBI agent doesn’t come across that well as he is first telling Betty off and then is asking her out and getting mad when she refuses. When he asks her to dinner she says that she can’t because she is meeting friends for thai. I do wonder if the friends she is meeting are Archie and maybe Eric. It could also be that this scene takes place after everyone is back in town and she is talking about Archie, Veronica and Jughead, they could be meeting up for a catch up. The desciption says that this character is recurring which as we know the characters are going to be in Riverdale makes me assume that the FBI will also be in Riverdale. The question is were they already there when Glen and Betty have the conversation about going out to the dinner or do they arrive later and Betty was actually somewhere else and not back in Riverdale yet? It’s possible that maybe the FBI decided to set up a permanent office in Riverdale as there were so many murders and other criminal activities going on. But I don’t know I guess we’ll see. None the less Glen’s character sounds really interesting it says that he’s the one that makes tough decisions when operations go haywire so I am expecting some things to go wrong. I do get the feeling that Betty is going to be struggling to follow the procedures the FBI have in place as before she just pretty much did what she wanted when it came to investigating mysteries. Now she’s is going to have to follow rules and boundaries and I think that is going to frustrate her a lot because she’ll feel like she’s not able to help as much and I do think its going to get her in hot water with her bosses a few times. The audition tape that I saw for this character might also have a clue in it as to what the next season mystery is which links into the next casting call.

Ok so not only do I think this casting call could be further evidence that Jughead is looking for inspiration for his book but as I said above it could give us a clue as too what the next Riverdale mystery is. In the script for the audition tape of Glen Scot the part of Betty starts talking about missing person cases and how she thinks they might be linked. (I’m sorry I haven’t got the videos for you, I tried looking for them again but just couldn’t find them anywhere.) But anyway in the description above it’s talking about a paranoid old man whose friends all disappeared. Now this guy thinks that it was because they were abducted by aliens. Now as wacky as Riverdale is I don’t think they are actually going to have aliens show up but you never know. I actually think there is going to be some other explaination for why these people are disappearing. What is interesting to me is the Mothman reference. For those who aren’t familiar with it the Mothman legend began in November 1966 when a gravedigger saw a mysterious winged creature that resembled a human and had glowing red eyes. Three days later in a place called Point Pleasant, two couples in a car spotted the same strange winged creature. In the next few days a further 8 sighting were reported including a report from two volunteer firefighters. This point in particular was interesting to me because we know of two firefighters (potentially volunteers) who will be in Riverdale, Archie and Eric. So my theory is that Archie and Eric are going to see some mysterious winged creature similar to that of the Mothman. The other thing that is intriguing about this legend is that many people came to believe that the Mothman was an omen of doom. This was because a year after the first sightings the town’s bridge, which was packed with cars, collapsed, killing 46 people. As time went on and the legend evolved people began to link it to other disasters including chernobyl, the mexican swine flu outbreak and the nuclear disaster of Fukushima in Japan. Because of the whole harbringer of doom part of the legend I actually think that after several of the characters see this creature some big catastrophe will happen where either alot of people die or there is a mass disappearance of some kind. Another element of the legend is that some people have also made ties between the Mothman and UFO activity which ties in with the character description where this guy is familiar with the Mothman legend and also believes aliens are responsible for his friends disappearance. I’m quite interested to see where they take this storyline if it is the one they are taking. I don’t think they will actually have supernatural creatures in the show so it is much more likely it’ll be similar to the gargoyle king where its a person that is exaggerated into a scary creature because of drugs in peoples system. They’ve spent so much time on jingle jangle and fizzle rocks that I think that its something that will continue on into season 5. I mean I’m pretty sure someone has been drugged at one point or another in pretty much every season so.

Ok so this character I’m not really sure how she is going to fit into the plot. In the audition tape for Chad, Veronica’s husband, he mentions that they were on their way to Miss Marble’s vinyard when their plane went down so its likely that this character is linked to Veronica in some way. If she is linked to Veronica then she might also be linked to Hiram as well. The description doesn’t give away alot but it does paint a picture of someone who enjoys having money and I get the sense that she is willing to go to potentially shady levels to get money. The part about using her power of persuasion makes me think that she’s going to be blackmailing people because well its Riverdale and thats how you persuade someone in the Riverdale. The thought did cross my mind that she might be using her Art Appraiser job as a front for some shadier business but we won’t know until the next season comes out.

The last casting call I’m going to talk about I want to put a very large disclaimer in front of because to be perfectly honest I am pretty sure that it’s fake. But on the off chance that it is real (highly unlikely in my opinion) I figured I’d give you my thoughts on it anyway.

So I saw a few people talking about this one. Alot of people seem to think that if it is real then this is Betty’s daughter. To be honest I can’t see that being a thing. And the reason why is firstly because of the part about the father being a mystery. Now if Betty had been intimate with Archie then I might think it more likely because that would cause some doubt over who the father could be Jughead or Archie. As it stands though if it was Betty’s daughter and she was concieved just before the time jump then obviously it would be Jughead’s so there’s no mystery there. The other reason why I doubt it could be Betty’s child is because they actually had a plotline where Alice found Betty’s birth control so we know that Betty is on birth control, I know that it can fail but I just don’t see them going that route with her especially as she was very vocal about how she didn’t want to be pregnant while in school like her mother and sister.

Ok so if this is real and it’s not Betty’s daughter then whose is it. It’s obviously not going to be Alice or at least is incredibly unlikely its going to be Alice. I personally think that it would be Polly. I mean it would definitely have that air of mystery about it. At the moment she is in a mental hospital but we don’t know where she’ll be at what would have been the end of season 4 or after the time jump. I could see it going the way of Polly hasn’t been in contact with anyone in the 7 years and no one had really heard from her and then all of a sudden she shows up with a child in tow and refuses to reveal who the father is. Most likely knowing Riverdale it’ll turn out to be Veronica’s husband’s and they’ll write in some strange way that Polly and Chad are connected. But like I said before I don’t believe that this is a real casting call I think its a fake made up by a fan. The main reason for this is because whilst I found these images on google image search the THS logo is for That Hashtag Show. If you go to their website you ca find reports for every single one of these casting calls apart from the Juliet Cooper one in fact I can’t find a even halfway official report of this casting call so I don’t think its legit at all.

So to wrap it up I want to finish with what I think might bring everyone back to riverdale. The time jump being 7 years actually knocks out two of my theories. First one was a school reunion but they don’t do 7 year reunions I’m fairly sure. The other theory I threw out was that they would again make a pact to meet up in 5 years and see how they are all doing. Again this one is no longer relevant because the time jump is seven. So that leaves only one of my theories which is everyone coming back for Choni’s wedding. Personally I am hoping it is this one. Anyway that is all for now. Thank you for reading.

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers #riverdale season five

2 notes · View notes

iridescentkippen · 5 years

Text

it's gonna be our night (aka a bad seblos one shot i wrote while half asleep)

this was kind of a bad character study of sorts as i really want to write hoco from seb's point of view at some point but felt like i couldn't do that without writing- let's be real i'm analyzing it more than writing it- from carlos' first?? idk this isn't good and it's missing parts of the episode because i wrote it when i was half asleep but platonic ashlyn/carlos is my favorite so i had to

It was a Friday night, and Carlos had no homework. What he should have been doing was hugging his pillow and crying to The Notebook for the fifth hundredth time before calling Ashlyn at two in the morning to cry that, "Ash, why don't I have a hot boyfriend like Ryan Gosling?" but instead he was tearing through his closet to try and find the tie that would match his suit. Why did homecoming have to be so stressful?

Ashlyn is perched on the end of his bed, scrolling on her phone, when her gasp causes Carlos to pull himself out of his closet to look at her. "What?"

"I know my cousin is shallow, and I know he sometimes doesn't have the best taste in girls, but Gina?" She turns her phone towards him to show Gina's Instagram story of the two of them at dinner.

Carlos rolls his eyes, going back to tearing through his stuff before finally finding the tie he was looking for. "Didn't he and Nini just call it quits like, yesterday? He didn't seem over her last I saw," He throws the tie over his shoulder onto where his tux is sitting next to Ashlyn, and the redhead ducks as it comes towards her.

"Dude, warn me next time you start chucking clothes at me," The two start laughing, before falling down next to each other on Carlos' bed.

"You know, if I have to go insane with someone, I'm glad it's you. I thought I would have no friends at East High, but now I have you and Seb and Miss Jenn-" He cuts himself off when he realizes how dumb he sounds.

They start cackling again before Ashlyn shoves him and the two sit up. "C'mon, let's get you into that and send a photo to lover boy before he thinks you've forgotten all about him." Carlos blushes as he pulls on the coat and attempts to get the tie on correctly before forcing Ashlyn to do it.

"What if he thinks I look dumb? What if he looks so nice that I start blushing and stuttering over my words? What if-"

"Carlos, I mean this in the nicest way possible. Shut up!" She takes a photo of him on the boy's phone before handing it back to him. He sends the photo to his date, but not without getting teased by his best friend for already having put hearts by the other boy's name.

The rest of the afternoon goes as smoothly as it can when all Carlos wants to do is check his phone every ten seconds to see if Seb has replied. He and Ashlyn do photos outside his house before running to McDonald's because in her words, "We are not spending money on nice food when we could each get twenty chicken nuggets and a large soda for way cheaper," and he's learned not to argue with her when it comes to fast food.

Ashlyn finally takes his phone from him and says she'll tell him if Seb texts because he can't stay off of it long enough to have an actual conversation. They finish eating before rushing to the school to meet the rest of the theatre kids.

Ricky and Big Red meet them at the door and they all head in, finding the table reserved for them. After sitting there for nearly ninety minutes, Carlos turns to Ashlyn, worry painting his face. "What if he doesn't show up?"

"He will, Carlos, I promise. Maybe he just got caught in traffic," Carlos frowns at her before checking his phone again.

"Traffic? We live in Salt Lake City, Ash, I'm pretty positive there hasn't been traffic here since the 2002 Olympics. Also, he left me on read. What could that mean?" Ashlyn sighs, turning off his phone for him.

"I dont know, idiot. Now put your phone away and have fun until he gets here! C'mon, let's go dance!"

Carlos frowns, urging himself not to cry. "Let's face it, Ash, I've been stood up. Let's go home. We still have time to get in HSM and Camp Rock if we go now,"

"No, I'm not letting you give up this easily. Get something to drink and then come dance with me!" She grabs his arm, tugging him out of his seat and through the crowd made of their peers. "See, even Ricky and Red are having a good time." The two boys are awkwardly dancing and laughing as Red continues to trip over his feet every five seconds.

Ashlyn shoves him towards the drink table before disappearing into the crowd of people, leaving him alone. Mr. Mazzara talks to him, and he responds, but he isn't really sure what he's saying even as he's handed a cup of something red and sweet. It tastes a little bit like alcohol, and he's not sure some kid didn't spike it when Mazzara wasn't watching, but he still drinks the whole thing anyway. Maybe it'll make him forget Seb.

A song he loved when he was little starts playing, and a small smile breaks out on his face. He drops the cup in the garbage before sighing and walking into the crowd of people. He sways on his own a little before Ashlyn finds him and the two dance and scream the lyrics at each other. There was definitely something in the punch as he feels more confident than he has in years. He doesn't even remember why he was so sad. Ashlyn calls out to him, "So, have you decided you can have fun without Seb being here?"

Oh, right. That's why he was so sad. And everything hits him again as he takes a deep breath and shrugs. He's about to ask her if they can still go home now because he tried staying here and he just can't, when suddenly he sees him. Standing in the doorway is Seb, a look on his face Carlos can't quite describe in his half tipsy state. Ashlyn sees him too, as a smile breaks out onto her face and she looks like she's going to cry of happiness.

"He's here! Go say hi!" She shoves him, and he stumbles across the gym towards the blonde boy.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late," And with those five words, Carlos forgives him because he just can't stay mad at Seb. He just can't.

"You're almost three hours late," Seb sighs, not meeting Carlos' eyes.

"I know, one of our cows went missing and I was the only one who could find her,"

"But not answering my texts?" Seb giggles, looking at his feet.

"We don't have great service out there. I really was trying to, I promise," A slow song comes on and Seb smiles, holding out his hands to the other boy. "Can I have this dance?"

He smiles, taking Seb's hands, and in that moment everything is perfect. Maybe everything can be okay, just the two of them. "Of course." And then the two of them dance for the rest of the night, not paying attention to anybody else in the room (even though Ashlyn sneakily takes photos of them to make fun of Carlos later). And everything is okay. Everything is perfect.

ik it's not great but like and/or reblog if you enjoyed?? it lets me know what people wanna see me write :)

37 notes · View notes

stinkfacestories · 6 years

Text

Stinkface Stories: Total KnockOut

Featuring: Kevin Owens, Big Show

The service elevator ran the length of the building; from the sub basement to the penthouse and everything in between. The staff used it because it was easier than taking the stairs and the talent used it because it ran directly from the gym to the suites. It wasn’t uncommon for a PA to be riding up with coffee and contracts to have one or two slick slabs of sweaty wrestler squeeze in headed to change or go run through a routine in the practice ring.

“You can’t,” Big show said. He pressed the button to summon the elevator. He was wearing dark blue sleeveless shirt. He wa quite the imposing sight: giant,bald, big bushy beard.

“Come on, I’m telling ya, I can do it. It will really give me boost you know?” Kevin Owens, though nearly a foot shorter than Big Show, stood next to him also waiting for the elevator, They had been working out together all week. He cut quite the figure too. A little pudgier, just as big a beard. His grey t-shirt emblazoned with the letters ‘K.O’ was near black with sweat.

The elevator opened and a thin looking PA looked up, wide eyed at the two. The other runners had always joked about who would be the worst pair to be forced to ride up with, and out of all the possible combinations, Big Show was always one of the pair. The elevator itself was not nearly as big as the ones in apartment buildings. Two normal sized people would have an uncomfortable ride, let alone a giant, his fat sweaty friend and a 9-5’er.

“Hey there,” Big Show said kindly as he stepped in. The box groaned in protest but the floor held. He turned his back and wedged himself into the opposite corner, though his massive frame still covered half the width. When Owens joined him taking up the other side the PA was pressed practically nose to back with the two. The doors closed as the fourth passenger made their presence known: the hot body odor wafting off the two of them. It filled the compartment like a thick fog. The two wrestlers either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. The PA was barely able to hold his breath.

“Maybe I could just do it once and see how it goes. Then we can make a decision” Owen spoke up, the first to break the silence.

“You can’t finish with a Stinkface, there’s a tradition with it. Unless you wanna quit and do house shows in high schools for the rest of your life, then you gotta follow the rules.”

“What rules? Its sticking your ass in some guys face for fun, what rules can there be?” Owens said.

The PA heard the word ‘ass’ and looked down at the two of them. Two big ones right in front of him. Each were covered in some dark shorts; The Big Show’s were a camo pattern, very tight, almost painted on. His ass was like two monster boulders crashed together. Owens were looser, solid black, athletic--slick and shiny. He was a bit rounder. The globes of his ass were bubbly, jiggling slightly every time the elevator would jostle just a little bit.

“We don’t have time for this man, when the time comes I’tall happen.” Big Show said.

“Time? We need time?” Owens looked at the panel in front of him. He opened a small door revealing a large red lever marked ‘Emergency Only’. He grabbed at it and turned it. Turned it so far and so hard that it broke off in his big thick hands. The elevator jerked and sputtered to a halt, somewhere between the floors.

“Hey man, what the hell did you do that for?” Big show said

“Are we stuck? What happened?” The PA said, trying to see between the two walls of flesh in front of him.

“I figure we have at least an hour before they send people to get us, maybe longer for them to get us out of here. So now we have time for you to tell me just what rules and qualifications I need to finish a match with a Stinkface,” Owens said. He thumped at Big Shows arm, punctuating his point.

“Stinkface?” The PA said.

“Yeah, Stinkface. I want to start using it in my routine. I think my crowds would love it.”

“You couldn't have left me get off before you got of stuck? Can this thing hold you two? Is there enough air?”

“Hey ho, quite up now,” Big Show said. “It’s done now so no use complaining. Having you here will work out fine. We can get some outside perspective on the matter.” He looked down at Owens “So tell me. Why do you think you deserve to do this Stinkface?”

Owens smiled. “Well, look at me man. I think the crowds would love it. I’m like a smaller version of you. Got the big beard, pretty thick. Wouldn't they think it was funny if I sat my big ass on some jobber?”

“Well, you stumbled in the first requirement. You gotta have an ass. I know you can be an ass, but that dont mean that you got one. The crowds don’t want to see just any flat-ass guy pinning someone in the corner. They want to see someone with some real powerful haunches smother a guys face; that’s why Me and ‘Kishi are so good at it. So… do you really have the ass?”

Owens reached back and punched his own ass, the big thing trembled before the smaller PA. “Hell yeah man. I got one. You see this thing? I avoid doing too much work on it because I want it to be big, but I don’t want it to be to hard. Know what I mean?” He peered behind him at the PA. “You got a good view, tell the guy about it.”

“What?”

“Tell Big Show how my ass looks like it would be great to give a stinkface”

“I don’t think Im really the best to ask--”

“Come on now play nice,” Big Show piped up “We might be here a while so just be helpful. Tell the guy if you think his ass is good enough to stinkface a guy.”

The PA looked back at Kevin Owens’ ass. It wasn't something he would want to tangle with.

“I’t looks..good I guess?”

“Come on guy,I need more than that get in there” Big Show said.

Owens obliged and reached back and grabbed the guys hand and put it on his ass. “See,” he said. “Feel how its just the right mix of soft and firm. Plenty of room for a face right?”

“Yeah sure, it’s like sweaty bread dough,” The PA said

“Amature. It’s not the Stinkhand Owens.” Big show shoved Kevin and he went stumbling backwards. Flailing to keep his balance, his ass slammed into the back of the elevator; the poor PA’s face between his cheeks. Owens blubbery cheeks engulfed his face, wrapping from ear to ear. One could only imagine the smell that he must have suffered. It may have only lasted a moment, but when the beefy wrestler leaned forward and looked behind him at what he had done, the PA’s face looked as if it had looked as if it had been wedged in there for an hour. He was in shock. His face was splattered with sweat; as was the wall behind him.

“Well shit,” Big show said. “I was wrong about you K.O. That right there is the sign of a good Stinkface. The look of horror, disbelief.”

“How was it?” Owens asked the PA.

“ Uhg…” He just wiped his face.

“Good? Bad? Come on we need words dude,” Big show said. He leaned down a little “Or do you need another, longer, go to form an opinion?” He raised his eye and gave a grin.

Wet, cold, but also hot. Silent”

“Awesome,” Owens said

“And the smell?”

“Didn't inhale, thank god” The PA said.

“You didn't smell? Your face was buried and you didn’t smell?” Big Show rolled his shoulders and slapped Owens on the shoulder. “He didn’t smell. How are we supposed to judge how good it was if at the end of the day he didn’t take a sniff.”

“Im sure its bad,” The PA said. “This is a pretty small space. You can’t smell it already? It reeks in here.”

Kevin sniffed at his pits. “I smell nothing.”

Big Show sniffed too “Me either. We were in that Gym for along time. Your noses is the only one that knows. So go on smell it and tell me how it is”

“Whoa, Show you sure that’s a good idea?” Owens pipped in. “Trust me when I say that’s a pretty dangerous area back there. Might not be safe to go in and sniffing around.”

“ Ill pass,” The PA said. “I can smell it from here. I give it a 9/10 on the bad scale.”

“Not good enough for me pal,” Big show said. “Who knows what your smelling. Could be me. Only way to go is to get up in there and take a big sniff. Owens assume the position.”

Kevin turned and put his hands against the wall, spreading his legs ever so slightly, like he was preparing to be frisked. His ass was begging for someones face at that point.

“No way. You can just take my word on it.”

Big show grumbled. “Your choice pal: You can either take a big sniff of Owens, or you can be sniffing my ass from now till the fire department gets here. And my ass don’t play nice.”

Kevin gave a short laugh, his ass jiggling with it “Aint that the truth; take the easy way out guy.”

The PA had no real option. Given the choice between the two asses, he opted for the less violent of the two.

“Where should I, you know.. Target?”

“Right where the back turns into the ass, if your a chicken-- right in the blast zone if your a real man.”

“Blast zone?” Owen looked over his shoulder at Big Show

“You know,” Big Show blew a raspberry “Blast zone”

Owens laughed “Oh man, I get it. I should get some underwear that says that”

The PA swallowed

“So what’s your choice?” Big Show asked

“What’s the current.. Blast danger I guess?”

“... rising with each passing second bro, so the quicker the better”

The PA leaned in, settling somewhere not quite as high as the back, but a fair share north of the blast zone. He was less than an inch away. He could feel the head radiating on his face.

“Keep that mouth closed,and give it a good 30 seconds. I don't want you cheating and holding your breath”

The rank odor of Owens ass was powerful. It filled the PAs nostrils. It burned. If he were lucky it may have destroyed his sense of smell right then and there and he would be done with it. But nevertheless it kept on stinking.

“When's the last time you took a shower K.O” he asked

“What day is it now?”

“Saturday,” Big Show said

“Easy: Late Friday Night”

The PA took another wiff

“...you mean yesterday?”

Owens counted on his fingers “.. no..I think it was three or so Fridays ago.

“And when did you wash these shorts last?”

“Wash them? These are workout shorts. You don’t wash them. I just shove them in my gym bag.”

Big Show laughed. “So that’s why they call you K.O, everyone who gets a wiff gets knocked out. So how is it dude?”

The PA pulled away “Bad. Salty. Hot. I wish I had been knocked out. My eyes were burning”

Owens gave a thumbs up “Thats two for two. So I can stinkface guys now?”

“Not yet. One final qualification: The gimmick.”

“The gimmick?” Owens said

“Gimmick?” the PA said. “I thought the stinkface was the gimmick.”

“Don’t we wise. Everyone who does the stinkface does their own little twist.”

“Oh yeah,” Owens said. “Like how ‘Kishi hikes up his thong, or does it bare ass?”

“What do you do then?” The Pa asked Big Show.

“I fart.”

The PA groaned and turned away

Owens laughed. “Thats real? I thought that was a joke. You really do that when you give a stinkface?”

“Yeah. Every time.”

“Who does that? Why would you even do that. It’s not like the crowd can tell. Your big but I don’t think you could.. Do that...loud enough for the cameras to pick up” The PA said.

Big Show loomed over the PA, forcing him to one of the corners. He pointed his big finger down at the guy. “First off, if you wanna find out how loud I can fart all you have to do is ask and I’ll be real happy to give you a demonstration. Second it’s not for them. Its for me, and for the tradition.”

The PA groaned again

“I could do that too!” Owens interrupted

“You could?”

“Yeah. I never ripped one in front of you? I swear I must have. Haven't I?”

“Think you could work one up now?”

Kevin scrunched up his big bearded face, grunting a little as he closed one eye. “Yup. There it is. All loaded. I was gonna drop it in my Uber on the ride home but I can drop it here.”

“But were in an Elevator. A tiny, tiny elevator” The PA said. Both Owens and Big Show looked at him like he was speaking some alien language. “So?” they both said

“That’s like the only elevator rule. You don’t do that in an elevator.”

“I do.” Big Show said.

“Same. A lot.” Owens said.

“In fact I dont think Ive ever ridden an elevator without farting in it.” Big Show said.

“Fine. Just.. let me get out of the way.” The PA slide as far in the corner as possible, leaving Kevin on the opposite side.

“This is a stinkface test though. K.Os bringin the stink, you gotta supply the face.”

“What? No way! Not this time” The PA said.

Big Show had enough. He reached out and grabbed the guy by the shoulder, effortlessly sliding him forward. Big Show leaned back against the wall, his arm pinning the smaller man in place.

“Hey let me go!” He said

“You’re free to try, but bigger men than you have failed.”

Owens turned around and began to back up slowly.

“Hey K.O. Why not try out both. Maybe that can be your thing”

“Both?” He said

“Yeah. Drop them draws.”

K.O slid his shorts down. Like the rising sun, his pale ass light up the room. It was glimmering from the sweat. The first thing everyone notices was how hairy it was.

“Damn K.O even your ass has a beard. You ever think about getting that thing waxed?” Big Show said.

“Tried it once, but they said they didn't have enough wax and wanted to charge me three times the regular price.”

Owens backed up even more. Soon the PAs chin was resting on the dark valley that was Owens ass. He backed up even more and he could feel the weight of the two fat globes pressing him into Big Shows gut.

“Come on guys. Show. Big. Big Show. Tell him to call it off. He doesn't want to do this. You can stop him”

“Let’s see: Hey K.O”

“Yeah Big?” Owens looked over his shoulder. Lining up his ass for the best stinkface possible.

“You sure you wanna rip one in this guys face?”

“Sure do Big,” Owens said.

“There, all settled. Go on blast away K.O. Hell I think I might give him one after.

“Come on you can’t do-mpf--”

Big Show pressed the PAs head down so that everything save his eyes were pressed into Kevin’s hairy crack. He was really tasting the musky, sweat soaked forest of hair. Kevin was braced like a centerlinemen, ready to snap the ball.

“Here,” He grunted out. Half of his face was scrunched up. “Comes. The knock Out..Ahh..” His ass erupted in a deep and vibrating blast. The bassy rip reverberated throughout the elevator, shaking even Big Show to the core. Owens went slack jawed. His mouth open almost drooling on the floor. “ Puuunnnch…...aw man now that Felt great.”

The PA’s eyes rolled back in his head as he was forced to breath in every once. He coughed, but that only forced him to breath in Owens Ass through his mouth. His senses were completely overwhelmed. He could see nothing but Owens hairy ass, smell nothing but his meaty fart, taste the salty hairs of his crack, feel the flapping and giggling of his cheeks on his face, and hear Big Show and Owens laugh.

And it wasn't even over

Owens hoisted up one leg and propped it on the wall behind him. He cocked to one side and let out another, less intense but longer sputtering fart. “It’s like a flood gate. Once you break the seal all the rest just wanna slip out”

The PAs eyes rolled back even further. The sloppy blast had done him in. With one final sniff his body went limp and he passed out.

“Damn K.O, you really earned that name.”

‘Hell yeah!” Owens pumped the air. “This means i’m in right. I can do the stinkface on my opponent's right?”

“Not quite.”

“What? Come on Show, I practically melted this guys face off. I can do it!”

“Oh you can do it all right. But you can't do it on stage till someone gives it to you.”

“Wait you mean I have to…”

“Thats right.”

Just then the elevator jerked back into motion. Big show reached over and pressed the button for the floor with the practice stage.

“I’ll see you in the ring, Owens”

#Stinkface #Fiction #BigShow #KevinOwens

267 notes · View notes

iamsonyeondone · 6 years

Note

nct imagine where the reader is colorblind but renjun describes the colors to them

❤ high school au

❤ just lots of fluff uwu

❤ 1.2k words

❤ summary: Renjun does art whenever he can, but it isn’t always to be left alone and instead to be with someone else.

renjun had the ability to create different worlds and masterpieces with a single pencil

Not literally but you catch my drift

and the fact that he can find some solace from simple materials and a quiet spot to draw

always made him treasure the time

and one of his favourite spots was definitely the art room on a friday because everyone was too busy going out with friends or finishing their assignments

sometimes jaemin and jeno try to persuade him to hangout and sometimes it works

but most of the time he comes up with an excuse that he has to finish up an artwork for a competition that his teacher signed him up for

and dont get me wrong

he loves hanging out with his friends and being rowdy

sometimes he’s the reason why the group is known for being so noisy in the hallways

but some quiet time to himself is always needed after a hectic week of studying and club activities

and also because he always looks forward to see a certain someone when they pass by the art room with the usual stack of forms and homeworks

guess who it is hehe wink wonk

its you!!

as the class president, you always had to chase after your classmates for their forms and homeworks and at the end of the day, you had to hand it up to the teacher

and every friday, ever since you had encountered renjun painting his favourite cartoon character, moomin

you always find the time to stop by and see whatever drawing he had up his sleeves

because this boy can draw so well?? and balance with his studies and basketball?? and you’re just so amazed at how he’s such an all-rounded student who still finds the time to do what he loves

And just like every other friday afternoon, you walk down the hallway where the art room was and peeked into the room to see renjun facing his desk and furiously scribbling something

You snifled your giggle as you tiptoed behind him to give him a little scare

and just as you were about to pounce on his shoulders, you see his initials and someone else’s being written at the edge of his notebook while two moomins held hands in the middle of it

renjun sees the shadow casted on his notebook, nearly breaking his neck from the way he had turned his head so fast

“since when were you here?” he asked in a flustered and rush manner, eliciting a few giggles from you as you peeked a little more to find out who’s initials he wrote next to his

only for him to slam his book shut with a nervous smile

“hmm just a while. i didn’t have much to submit so i’m free for the rest of the day. besides, what are you hiding?” you questioned him, trying to sneak past his arms

but he snatched it away from you and dumped it into his schoolbag

“ITS NOTHING- i mean,, it’s nothing important.s-since you’re free, why don’t you draw with me this time?”

he trembled, taking his sketchbook out instead with his set of color pencils

“uhmm sure,” you hesitated, taking a seat next to him as the both of you shared the A3 sized sketchbook, and taking a pencil each

with every motion, the both of you exchanged words and talked about how your day had went, laughs resonating through the room from either one of you once in awhile

once your sketch had been done, you remained to sticking with your pencil while renjun picked out a few colours for his piece

renjun watched the second of hesitation, your eyes staring at the pencil case full of color pencils before continuing to shade with your 2B pencil

“yknow you can use it if you want. i’ve gotten over the cooties phase for your information,”

you let out a little chuckle as you scratched the side of your head nervously

“nah im not worried about,,that. it’s just that i cant exactly,,,see colours,”

and renjun looks confused for a moment, staring at you as if you had just asked him what the meaning of life was

until it clicks and his mouth forms an O

“i can explain it to you if you want- oh wait a second!! let me do something real quick,” he quips up as he fetches a permanent marker from his pencil case and starts scribbling something onto every pencil

“ok im done! i wrote which colour is which”

and every once in a while, renjun explains what colour sees and feels like in his opinion

mentioning that blue was something people associated with sadness or being in a calm state

yellow is usually seen as a happy colour, the colour of sunflowers and the sun and in general, anything and everything positive

red has many different emotions to it - anger and love but personally renjun thought of red as something of affection

and as you’re colouring you’re work, your eyes glued to the paper, renjun is staring at you in awe

the way your hair just falls perfectly by your face, and the way you looked so adorable with how focused you were on the art piece

that he was oblivious as to what you were colouring

you had drawn your perception of him - sitting in the classroom, back facing you while streams of different characters that renjun had showed you for the past few fridays that the both of you meet

you coloured the characters in mostly yellow tones whlie the rest of his surroundings were in blueish tones

and he was coloured in red

“is this ok?”

You asked in a hush tone, afraid that your hint at confessing was a little too subtle

Did i say confession?? HahA you are most definitely right

Ever since you had seen renjun in the art room that day, being entirely different to the hyperactive boy you see in the hallways

You had seen a different sight to him that not many know off

And since then - talking to him about his hobby and what he aspired to be - you had grown more than fond for the boy

But look at him?? Who couldn’t resist that adorable smile and the way his eyes would twinkle whenever he went on about his favourite cartoon characters

And just when you were about to return the spotlight back onto his own

Renjun has a shy smile to his face

“Is that me? You coloured me red?” he asked, wondering if what you were implying was true

“U-uh yeah. You said that red was something people associated with,, love and anger and whatnot- and NO i’m not mad at you or saying you look angry when you draw its just that-”

“-You like me?

Renjun finishes your sentence as you stared back wide-eyed, unsure of what to say

“I uhm-”

“Oh wait did i go too far?”

“nO i do! I do,, like you,” you mutter as rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment

Renjun takes your hand away from your neck to make you face him, pushing the sketchbook towards you, and to show you the art he had been working on the past few minutes

It was you, smiling, while he used the red colour pencil to fill in some empty spaces

“Dont worry because i like you too,” he looks up, before quickly looking away and bursting out in laughter

Although you still werent able to see colour, renjun made your life much more vibrant

a/n: this is such a cute idea but i hope i executed it well!! hope you like it anon

#writing #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #scenario #kpop #nct #nct dream #renjun #huang renjun #china line #nct china #x reader #reader insert

45 notes · View notes

whimsicalwhimsicott · 6 years

Text

This is for @mid-tea and the prompt they sent me!

A sickfic about markus having a glitch/bug that gives him symptoms close to the flu in humans. He gets taken care of by north/simon ( whoever you prefer to ship him with)

---------------

Surprise! I ship him with both. (Also I dont know how to edit from the phone but…I hope it’s clear.)

- - -

Markus wished he had noticed before North and Simon had, because if he had thought about it before they caught on, he wouldn’t be laying on a couch resting when he could be helping. As he lay there in the building he had set up for the leaders and various other androids to gather, he tried to think back on how he had landed here. He couldn’t get his thoughts together, it was one jumbled mess laying in front of his eyes that no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get rid of. Lines and code that displayed a human diagnosis that androids couldn’t possibly get. “Influenza…” he murmured. A virus that afflicted humans mostly in the winter. Common. He supposed he could have contracted a virus from another android – he converted a lot – but before he could think much more on it, North was knocking at the door.

“I hope you’re decent,” she chimed playfully but gave Markus no time to make sure he was decent before barging in. He was lucky he was. North had noticed first, the way Markus held his arms tightly while he was working, and gingerly felt his arms when she realized it might be lack of rest. Her touch was soothing but still determined. After all, he could feel her skin on his. Their special connection went beyond basic programming. “How are you feeling?” She asked, pulling him out of that memory.

“Like I got hit by a truck,” he murmured, pulling himself further up in bed so that he could see her better. She had her hair back in a braid today, tied with a thin ribbon at the end. Always presented beautifully, he noticed. He always noticed. ‘She would hate if I ever told her that,’ he thought to himself, patting the bed eager for company. North complied equally as eagerly, lounging back on the edge of the bed to feel his skin temperature. “I don’t like laying in bed all day, can’t sleep anyways.”

“Well that’s because we don’t sleep, and that 102 fever says you have to. You should still close your eyes and let the system do the work so you don’t have to,” she urged. Markus knew stasis would be ideal, but he just didn’t want to. He had so much work to do: abandoned apartments to renovate for the hoards of androids making their way into Detroit from all over the country, helping them find suitable but practical jobs for them to have (that they wanted to have), and of course balancing the growing tensions between androids and humans. He had to keep moving if he was going to finish anything. “Funny, Markus, you’re not going to be doing any of that for the next couple of days.”

“Oh did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah,” she sighed while she patted his leg, “Just let us handle things for a while until you’re feeling better. If I felt bad feeling you then…well, it must be worse on you.”

“No offense North but when you, Simon, and Josh try to work together, you always end up fighting and not making progress.”

“Hey! Not always..” She put her hand to her heart dramatically. She leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Markus wished it was on his lips. “Sorry, don’t want to catch what you have,” she explained. He must have spoken aloud again. “I promise we won’t fight, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too, North,” Markus smiled. And she left the room slowly, turning off the lights as she went. Markus laid back again and closed his eyes. He had a lot of wishes he thought about. He wished he could see Carl – but the humans were still working their way back into Detroit and Carl still wasn’t one of them – so that he could ask yet again if he was doing the right thing and what could possibly be going on with this virus. He wished he could do work, accelerate this process faster. He wished the humans would just accept them. Before he knew it, he was idling. And he dreamt.

Heat crept from his heart and pulsed through his body sporadically. A jumbled mess of code trying to make sense of the virus spreading through his body. Hand outstretched, pulled back as though he had touched a burning stove. Think nothing of it, move on to the next task. Colors; like Carl had used in his paintings before he was asked to try for himself. Did he have any talent? Carl had never said. He continued with that, painting piece after piece until he was interrupted, Leo bashing the artwork, the same thing Carl had said. He was getting old, he didn’t know what to say anymore. Who was getting old? Markus?

“Markus?”

He shot up in bed, feeling like he was sweating. When he felt, even though it made sense, he realized his skin wasn’t wet. A soft hand found a place on his back, and when he followed the arm to match the face, he was relieved it was Simon. He groaned, putting his face in his hands. What had he dreamt of just then? It was all memories, he was pretty sure, but jumbled into an unenjoyable amalgamation. Simon continued rubbing his back, saying nothing. When Markus finally composed himself, he did a self-diagnosis. Like in the dream, it was a mess of jumbled letters, finally coming to a conclusion.

/__CONSULT__CYBERLIFE__

He wasn’t going to do that. They still had not picked a new director for Cyberlife. He turned to Simon, examining his features as he tried to come up with small talk. Markus would say perfection, he could say perfection. But he was positive Simon didn’t see himself that way. Blue eyes stared into his mismatched own, a soft questioning (but patient, he noted) gaze. He wished he had self-diagnosed before Simon found him bent over on the floor, alone in the dark, expelling blue blood from his body. Maybe if Markus had, Simon wouldn’t have to be doting on him like a mother bird. He remembered when Simon had found him, and remembered how he felt, a memory he wished he didn’t have. Even though androids didn’t feel pain, it still felt that every bit of blood he threw up would just lead to more gut wrenching stabs and more of himself on the floor.

Simon never felt anxious that Markus hadn’t said anything since waking up. It had already been a good 7 minutes since he came back to the real world. “How long was I asleep?” Markus asked finally, breaking the awkward – it wasn’t that awkward – silence that had settled over the room.

“Its been nearly an entire day, 20 hours.”

“I thought sleeping was supposed to make people feel…well-rested. I feel worse than I did when I went to sleep.”

“Do you really?”

“No, but I’m definitely not well-rested,” he joked, jabbing at Simon’s side with his elbow. “Has anything happened?”

Simon seemed to tense at that. He knew it. “You guys fought again, didn’t you? Can I not leave you all alone for a couple days?” Throbbing in his head.

“North did end the fight…if that makes it better…but she was also the one that started it,” Simon explained. “She wanted better for all the androids coming in, and that made sense, but she wanted to use…less than diplomatic methods to get that. She wanted to throw humans out of their homes to make room for us. We tried to explain to her but she wouldn’t have it. Then she remembered you telling her not to start fights, I guess.”

“Typical North, what would we do without her. She keeps us from getting stepped all over, I just wish she wasn’t so bloodthirsty.”

“Well, bloodthirsty is her middle name,” Simon joked back. Markus laughed at that. There would never be a time when they didn’t need North. Markus loved to hear everyone’s input, but North and Simon’s mattered most to him. “Look, you’re already feeling better if you’re laughing, drink this.”

Simon handed a bottle of blue blood to Markus, waiting expectantly for him to grab it. When Markus downed it in three swallows, Simon shook his head. They didn’t need to eat. But replenishing lost blood was important especially if you’re the leader of a people. There was no room to be sick. Sick, Markus thought miserably. Simon took his hand into his and made a connection. “Wow, it’s almost like you want to be sick,” mumbled Markus as he leaned back and closed his eyes. He let soothing memories flood his head, wholesome thoughts be considered and processed, before just opening his eyes and taking in all of Simon.

“We don’t know how you got this virus, but I would endure it with you if you asked me.” Simon wasn’t scared to kiss him on the lips.

“Knock knock, lovebirds, scoot.” North barged in yet again and sat on the other side of the bed. “Dammit, Simon, I was going to say that to him.”

“Well I was in here first,” he mumbled. Markus let them climb into the bed to lay down with him. He never really noticed how big the bed was before, but it fit all three of them comfortably. He wrapped an arm around each of his lovers, smiling. If they both got sick, he was sure Josh could handle the work himself. But for now, with Simon and North, he just wanted to sleep.

#dbh #dbh markus #dbh simon #dbh north #d:bh #detroit: become human #detroit: become human spoilers #dhb spoilers #sickfic #fanfic #my writing #my fics

30 notes · View notes

endormifleurs · 6 years

Text

Some For The Road

Ashton Irwin drabble? Oneshot?.. I haven’t written in a while, my autocorrect is off, and I’m bad at catching errors. Brace yourself.

so, basically, what i was thinking of was, uh

AH FUCK I CANT BELIEVE YOUVE DONE THIS!

hem, mings,

so sorry omg. lets get started with this

basically, a rundown of my idea for this was that you’ve been dating ash for a while now and this is the first time he’s gonna be going on tour while he’s with you. you can’t exactly come along because of your occupation/college/university responsibilities so he’s off alone without you for the first time. he gets... curious. he stops calling, he stops answering your calls, perhaps out of guilt for doing something?(one)(s)

ash cheats.

thats what he does.

if that will upset you please dont read further. be safe.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Ash? You haven’t returned my calls. And the only time I hear from you it’s a voicemail from some ungodly hour and you sound like you’re drunk. Please call me back... I love you...”

“Y/n... It’s been five weeks. I don’t think he’s going to call you back.” Lydia said quietly while scratching her arm. “I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but maybe you have to hear that...” Lydia didn’t meet her eyes.

Y/n bit her lip and tried to hold back the tears threatening to pour down her face as thoughts ran through her head. Finally, Y/n met Lydia’s eyes. “You don’t think this is his way of dumping me, do you?” Y/n’s eyes begged Lydia to tell her otherwise.

“What? No!”

“But, how do you know that?”

“I don’t,” Lydia rose from the armchair and made her way over to Y/n to place her hand on her shoulder, “But, if that is what’s happening I will fly out there and beat his ass.” Lydia paused and thought it over.

“Actually, I’m going to beat his ass nonetheless.”

“For what?”

“Not contacting you at all except a drunken voicemail with some girl’s voice in the background that definetly wasn’t Crystal.”

“Wait, why don’t you think it was Crystal?”

“Well, for one she sounded like she was French.”

Y/n looked even less hopeful than before. “You think he’s cheating?”

Lydia took a deep breath. “...Maybe.”

Y/n shook slightly, holding back the waterfall in her eyes.

“Hey, hey. Y/n, come on. Don’t cry. You don’t get to cry over him.”

“I... I don’t think I can help it.” Y/n said softly as a single tear escaped.

“Listen, how about we beat him to the next tour destination, live it up in London until he gets there, and then confront him.”

“Okay.” Y/n said with a small huff.

“Did you grab your passport?” Y/n questioned once Lydia opened the door.

Lydia’s eyes widened and she quickly turned back into the house. Y/n chuckled when she heard her friend’s sneakers squeak on the floor.

When Lydia got back she was breathing heavily and holding her passport triumphantly.

“Does Naomi know we’re ready?”

Lydia facepalmed.

“Naomi we’re ready!” She called out to her sister.

The girl suddenly came into view covered in paint. “Do you care if I get paint in your car?”

“I don’t care I just don’t want to miss the flight.”

“Okay cool,” Naomi reached out for the keys and Y/n passed them off.

In the car, Lydia plugged in the aux to her phone.

“I’m gonna shuffle my soundcloud?”

“Sure. Go for it.” Y/n mumbled.

As soon as Lydia hit shuffle, Lie To Me began playing.

Y/n visibly tensed.

“Sorry! I’ll reshuffle”

“Great.”

Like Satan himself was controlling the shuffle, an acoustic version of English Love Affair burst through the speakers.

All the girls in the car starting laughing.

“We got great seats! We have so much leg room!” Lydia gushed.

Y/n stayed silent.

“Ash and I met on a plane...”

Lydia gave her a look that was a cross between side-eye and pity.

“Sorry to be a downer. It just feels like the end. Also, I’m bummed out because you let She’s Kinda Hot play and Ash’s solo came on and I nearly cried.”

Lydia huffed. “Sorry. Let’s just...” Lydia paused trying to think of something. “Do something to take your mind off of it?”

“Like what?”

“Play twenty questions!”

“What are you, a seventh grade fuckboy?”

Lydia laughed out loud.

“That was the longest flight ever oh my gosh.” Lydia said while rubbing her hand down her face.

“I know rig-”

Y/n got cut off by a fan yelling across the airport.

“Isn’t that Y/n? Ashton’s girlfriend?”

“Oh no..” Y/n whispered.

The group of four girls ran over.

“Are you here to join the guys on tour?”

“Uh, actually I’m just paying Ash a little visit. Don’t tell anyone, I want it to be a surprise.” Y/n quickly came up with.

“Oh! Okay! Bye!”

With that, the girls left.

“Hm, that was easy...” Lydia mumbled.

“You’ve also never dealt with fans...”

The day before Ashton and the rest of the gang got to London, the pair were hanging out in their hotel room on their phones.

Lydia was scrolling twitter and decided to check the 5sos tag.

Her heart sank.

“Drummer of 5 Seconds Of Summer Ashton Irwin Spotted With Multiple Women In One Night.”

She clicked the link and it brought her to a news article with attached pictures of Ashton and various girls kissing. One in particular had the bottom half of the photo blurred and Ashton look like he was receiving a... service...

“Oh my gosh...”

“What?” Y/n looked up from the movie she was watching on Netflix. (It was Lemonade Mouth btw)

Lydia couldn’t figure out how to tell her friend what she just read.

“Um... I literally don’t want to do this, but I have to..”

“Spit it out, Lyds!”

“Go on the 5sos tag on twitter...”

Lydia refreshed and she saw that the hastags #ashtonthecheater #bringy/njustice and #respectwomen were trending.

She looked over and Y/n’s eyes were brimmed with tears.

“Hey, Y/n-”

“No.” Y/n shook herself off and she gained a fire in her eyes.

“This prick won’t even know what’s coming to him.”

Y/n whipped out her phone.

“What’re you doing?”

“Calling Cal.”

“Um... For what?”

“Making sure Ashton is gonna be somewhere.”

“Wh-” Y/n cut off Lydia with her finger.

“Hey Calum!”

“Oh, I’m- I definitely could be better.”

“No, I’m not sick.”

“I need a favor.”

“Do you think you could make sure Ashton stays off social media?”

“Yeah. Bye Cal.”

Y/n set her phone down.

“What was that about?”

“Showing him what he’s missing out on now and slapping the shit out of his annoyingly attractive face.”

It was seven now and Bust The Windows was playing.

Y/n zipped her jeans up and flattened out her top whilst looking in the mirror.

“You look great.” Lydia commented. “That dick-bag is getting what’s coming to him.”

“Should I reapply my lipstick? Its smeared on my cup...”

“He might think you kissed someone, keep it that way.” Lydia smirked.

Y/n rolled her eyes.

She stared into her own reflection and still couldn’t help but feel sadness. She poured her heart out to him and this is what he gave her in return? She shared her secrets with him and he shared his lips with others. This was just plain cruel.

“You ready to go?”

Y/n hesitated a second more. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

“Do you have the backstage passes?”

Y/n lifted the lanyards up.

“Okay, great. Let’s get going.”

Once the first song started, Y/n’s heartbeat quickened.

There he was, innocently playing the drums towards the back of the stage.

She felt Lydia’s hand rubbing her shoulder.

She was in for a long couple hours.

The boys were in the middle of their final song when Dave came to get the girls.

“Calum told me about your... Situation. Would you like to go now?”

Y/n took a deep breath. “Yes.”

The girls followed Dave backstage and he showed them to where they could wait for the boys to come out.

Y/n couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“Calm down, Y/n/n. Once it’s over we can eat all sorts of ice cream. I’ll buy you f/f.”

Y/n nodded.

Then, they heard the boys finish up the song and the crowd screaming while they walked off stage.

“ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”

“Y/n.”

“Sorry.”

Then, she saw him. Still as angelic and heavenly looking as ever. It killed her.

Then, Luke looked over. He looked very confused. (Elevator music... pfft)

He tapped Ashton and pointed the pair out.

When their eyes locked, her heart stopped.

Soon enough he was right there, hugging her.

“What’re you doing here baby?”

It felt so nice she almost didn’t shove him off. It broke her heart, but she did.

He was so caught off guard that he stumbled back.

“I’m-” Her voice caught in her throat. It was so much harder with him right there, beautiful eyes gazing into hers with confusion. Her stomach still fluttered around him. Despite what she knows he did. “I’m here to break up with you.”

He flinched.

“What?”

“I’m not repeating myself.” Her words were like steel.Cutting like a blade.

“Why?” He almost seemed guilty. Maybe piecing together why she was truly here.

“You know what you’ve done. You know how you broke us.” As she uttered the sentence, her voice and heart broke simultaneously

He chewed his lip, “Baby-”

“No. Not anymore. You ruined that with infidelity.”

His brows furrowed, it seemed like he was searching for something to say.

The rest of the boys had walked over and began eavesdropping. (Luke and Lydia hugged upon greeting each other ;) )

“Wh- What makes you think I cheated on you? I could neve-”

“It’s all over the internet, there’s pictures and everything.”

“Those are ol-”

“No they aren’t.” She glared at him.

He sighed deeply.

“Why’d you do it?”

His eyes scanned her body for the first time, stopping in places. “I was.. Drunk, lonely..”

“That isn’t an excuse and you know it.” Y/n snarled.

“I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit.”

Michael stifled a chuckle.

“I still love you?”

Next thing you know Ashton was clutching his burning face and Calum was trying not to laugh.

“Ow!” He whipped his head up.

“You don’t get to say that. Not after this. You don’t get to try to make it better.” Her face grew red and tears formed in her eyes.

“We’re done.”

Once they were in the car, she broke down.

Omg how was it guys??? I love feedback omg

tell me how you feel??

give me constructive criticism i need it trust me.

please lmk!!!

thanks for reading xx sav

20 notes · View notes

itskimtaehyung · 7 years

Text

life updates

I feel like i’ve been kind of MIA lately in terms of updating tumblr and all that. Like usually nowadays I just fill up my queue and then log off and I dont really make that many personal posts or original content all that much lately.

Firstly, I want to update you all on all the new stuff I’ve been working on. I started a new painting series which is basically a Yeontan BT21 crossover. I have some ideas for continuing that circle painting series with OT7. I have Yoongi finished and I chose a color scheme for Hoseok. I did a painting for Hoseok’s birthday and I tried a new style that I’ve never done before and I’m really happy with how it turned out I can’t wait for you guys to see it!

In terms of writing, I’m currently working on a YoongixReader fic but it’s going slowly mainly because it’s kind of based on my life and I want to tell the story properly. I have a few scenes writing for some other fics but I don’t have concrete ideas or plots for them yet and I don’t know if I ever will. I plan on finishing the Always series but I’m not happy with the original plan I had for the series so I still have to rewrite my original ending. As for Jeon Jungkook is dead, I wrote part 1 very spur of the moment and honestly I dont remember what I wanted for part 2. I dont know if I’ll ever finish it tbh.

Now that those are out of the way, time for personal updates. As some of you may know, I started uni back in september. Before that I was going to community college to complete my general education requirements and now I’m taking courses that are very focused on my major aka the hard stuff. Also, we’re finally getting into the rocket science courses and they’re really cool!!! My workload is a lot heavier lately and I barely have time for sleep let alone writing and drawing. I’m taking 5 classes this quarter which may or may not have been a mistake but like homegirl wants to graduate on time.

For those of you who were following me during the whole “thirst boi” thing, no, i never hooked up with him, however, he is now one of my very good friends and has introduced me to another guy who’s also become a close friend. Like one time i slept over at their place and we baked cookies and watched cartoons.

I also mentioned a “cute boy” in one of my classes a while back. I think most of my posts were about wanting to talk to him but not knowing how. Well, I finally talked to him after midterms last quarter, we we also became very good friends. At one point I thought he really liked me. We would do homework together and he would offer to drive me home if we stayed late at the library. I was spending nearly all day everyday with him (and I still do). But sadly, I found out after the quarter ended that he has a girlfriend. tbh I still really like him and sometimes it’s hard spending so much time with him but not being able to be with him ya know? I honestly think the universe is working against me because he is literally like everything I look for in a guy. And he smells like something from my childhood???? Also one time he came over to my apartment when we had a break in between classes and he talked to my housemates and they all really got along with him and also really liked him, *sigh* You’ll see a lot of him in Yoongi in that fic i was talking about earlier.

i dont think I ever told you guys about my housemates. I’m living with one of my best friends from middle school and a few other people. Theyre all super nice and I’m so grateful to live with such amazing people. We all get along so well and have “house outings” on a regular basis. A couple of weeks ago we all went together to get 순두부 for one of their birthdays, and today three of us got pizza together after class and then four of us went together to get boba. And whenever we’re stressed or just need to wind down, we sit on the floor of the living room together (we dont have a couch or like furniture really) and talk and eat snacks and complain about our days etc. and two fo them like kpop/khh too! and we listen to it together from time to time. and we have ramen nights where some of us will cook ramen and just eat it together on the floor. we also tease each other a lot which is fun to some extent but can also be kind of annoying. one of the guys is a couple years ahead of me in school but we’re the same major so sometimes he helps me with homework. I’m also on a design project with him which is also pretty fun. I learned how to use a laser cutter for the project so that was really cool.

It’s midnight and i have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow for class but I still havent showered but im still really full from the pizza and only drank a quarter of my milk tea (its strawberry) (i luv strawberry). Anyway, that’s what’s been going on in my life for the last 5 wish months or so? to my old followers, thanks for sticking with me this long. And to my new followers, welcome, thanks for hitting that follow button. I am grateful to every single one of you for supporting me and encouraging me and giving me a safe place to complain or vent or whatever else i need to. also my housemate caught me writing this and he asked to be included in it lmao. his words were “are you writing about me? are you including any of my jokes in your post? am i not funny enough to be included in your tumblr posts?” and then he told me to tell yall that he caught me writing this and he wanted to be included. I dont think he’d ever be able to find my blog because I dont have it searchable by email nor do i use my real name but oh boy if he’s reading this, thats really creepy of you, tyler.

#this is kind of long but its pretty much whats been going on for the last 5 months or so #mine #text

4 notes · View notes

aicosu · 7 years

Note

Sheila, I saw the post for Combat Mercy that you guys posted on your insta, and I'm always impressed with how much you're able to accomplish super short build times! Do you have any tips for how you're able to work so quickly? (I ask while in the middle of cosplay procrastination...)

Sheila’s Tips for Finishing stuff FAST™

-Think in terms of waiting vs not waiting. A lot of the cosplay process is waiting. Usually waiting for something to dry, waiting for the iron to hit up. Etc. Set up your wait times to align with other tasks. EXMP. I usually make all my foam armor first, so that way once I set it aside to seal and paint, I can pattern and draft while its drying, in between reapplying coats. Or I throw the glue gun on to get hot and while I wait, I cut and style a wig.

If you start doing this, you’ll get used to thinking ahead in terms of “what will I need to do later, and what can I do now to set up for it.”

-When something gets frustrating, move on. Yesterday I tried making my leggings and nearly started screaming with how annoying the machine was being. So I dropped it, and started doing the dress details instead. Its funner, easier, and it doesnt make me want to QUIT. There are tons of tasks we hate doing enough that it makes us work slower, or stop working altogether. Instead, drop the hard thing, do some easy things, come back to it later when youve had time to mull over how youll tackle it. Ie. I tried sewing my leggings, but it was hard, so i worked on the dress and during that I decided to buy leggings and paint them instead. :)

-Try to buy everything you know youll need now. Nothing takes more time then a “quick” trip to walmart for paint brushes. Cause then your hungry, then you also need groceries, then you shoud also— no. Make your whole list before your build. AND if you want to wait on supply stocking cause your trying to budget, then create a 2nd shopping trip to closer when 50% of the costume is done. I.E. One shopping trip for all the armor and fabric, 2nd trip for all the attachments of the armor. And if you find you do need that one thing, think about everything that still needs to be done. Can you do any of it without that one thing? Then work on that instead of going out. GO OUT LAST.

-Don’t watch anything new. I love playing movies in the background, because the progression and narrative of that movie makes time seem to go faster AND I can measure my time. One more is about 2 hrs. One episode is a half hour, etc. But they key is to, DONT WATCH NEW STUFF. Cause then youll find yourself stopping and watching. You gotta rewatch stuff youve seen a million times. Or just throw on music.

-Put your phone in a different roomJust avoid the distraction.

-BREAKS ARE OKAY.They are! Especially when you need a motivator. Lunchtime or dinner is a great one. Cause you can sit, eat, watch something or play a game. Usually I try to make it correlate to the costume. I play overwatch on a break if Im working on mercy. I watch Convenion Cosplay videos on youtube if its something like Miku. Anything to keep my excitement of wanting to finish my build. AND SET A TIMER to go off after an hour or so. Dont let yourself get sucked in. Unplug the thing and put it in the closet if you need to.

-It doesnt have to be hard to be good. Yeah, worbla is great. And cutting plexiglass is impressive. But if you have 4 days till the con, remember what your working with and remind yourself that using foam can be just as good. Don’t set yourself up for failure by starting to fiberglass a pepakura armor build 3 days before the con. Its just not gonna happen and youll be dissapointed when it does. And accept that its okay to have some things shortcut for the finish. Maybe you dont get the gloves done. Oh well! Thats okay! At least its finished aside from that, and then you have months to get and make them the way you want after for the next con cause everything else is already done.

Hope this helps!!

#aiask #contips #Anonymous #having an extra hand helps #if you can find it #sylar cuts out everything for me so its ready to just start glueing and assembling when im ready #and he does all the sealing and painting coats #and makes the trips out the joaanss or micheals while i sew #but even when I didnt have him #its all about micro managing your time and tasts accordingly

217 notes · View notes

613526362 · 5 years

Text

Touching the Void

I was at her door, and she was wearing the coat she bought just to walk my dog.

I told her thank you for the best three and a half months of my life, and that I loved her. Then I turned to walk away.

She yelled my name. Then she left the doorway out on to the sidewalk. I kept walking, and I didn't look back.

I got into the car.

She ran to my car door, and opened it.

I wasn't going to force her to talk through the car door, so I got out and cane around.

She said, "Now don't act like this is me breaking your heart. We discussed this together. We came to an agreement together."

I said, "I know. I guess, I just wanted to thank you for introducing me to your friends, your coworkers, your family. And I wanted to thank you for the happiest three and a half months of my life."

She looked at me and said, "You're going to find someone better than me."

I stopped her and said, "No one ever finds someone better after you Cat."

We hugged, and this was a different hug. Back in her apartment, she had hugged me, and pushed her pelvis into mine, trying to seduce me into staying. She'd tried a couple other things too. When I arrived, I saw she'd chosen some cute but revealing clothes to wear, done her makeup, put on perfume. After I took out the first load of things, she forced me to open one of the Christmas presents she had gotten me. I tried to do it at first, but I couldn't. It hurt too bad. Tears running down my face, I finally got it open. It was a pair of custom made socks with my dog's face printed all over and words saying, "I love you dad."

She'd chosen a picture I sent her of my dog when he was younger. I guess she thought he had a cute look on his face in that picture. But I know his expressions better. He had a terrified look on his face.

It was the most thoughtful and sweet gift anyone had ever given me. The tears were already falling from my face as I tried to open it, but they fell so much harder when I looked at the socks.

She had also cried in the apartment sitting on the couch where we cuddled so many times. The couch where I had slept one night because she was so angry about something I had said.

She started crying, saying how bad it hurt that I had told her she had an anger problem on the phone earlier. She said no one had ever told her that before.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm a little crazy. But all girls are a little crazy. I have my faults. Everyone has their faults. You never even saw my darkest side."

She cried as her mascara ran, and her hair fell over her face.

She tried to kiss me, and she tried to pull me into her kiss. I resisted.

I didn't kiss her. I said, "Cat please. We talked about this on the phone."

If she had acted sweet, or remorseful, or even human on the phone, we wouldn't have been there, both overdressed and wearing cologne and perfume, sitting six feet apart and crying. We would have been in each other's arms, me breathing softly on her neck, my face lost in her hair.

But instead she had been so cruel. So hateful. It was one thing she said that absolutely destroyed anything that was left of my heart on the phone. When I said that we should still exchange gifts, and that maybe we could still stay in touch, she said she didn't want to. Why would she want to? she asked.

"Maybe if you we had been good friends before we started dating or something we would stay friends, but we met on a dating app. And this was a relatively short relationship. You just want to stay in touch once a week so you won't allow me to get over you. Am I crazy or something? Am I saying something crazy? Why would we stay in touch?"

So it was clear, she wanted me for the ring and kids, or nothing at all. She wanted the relationship exactly how she wanted it, or she was going to be angry and hurtful to me. Four of five days of not seeing me wasn't allowed. Not calling and talking for at least three hours a day was not allowed.

"When I care, I care hard."

"Cat, you said to me, "Marshal, you think you're so fucking perfect, don't you." That doesn't show me that you care hard. That's an extremely resentful and hurtful remark."

She had bought my dog a dog bed, a special refilling water bowl, a dog bed. I told her to keep them in case she got a dog, or take them back. She wouldn't. She insisted I take them.

Redacted

When she ran to my car, after I came out and hugged her, I kissed her on top of her head, three, four, five times. Then she looked up at me, and I saw her face so innocent, her eyes red and crying. I hadn't seen her face like that in a long time. She looked so sweet, and childish. I loved her so much.

I said, let's walk back to your door. I scratched her back and put my arm around her as we walked. After we opened her front door, she just kept walking forward, as if I was following. She was expecting me to follow inside. But I hadn't. Eventually, when she realized I hadn't followed, she turned. I went to kiss her on the forehead. At first she told me no, because if I had refused her kiss earlier of course she wasn't going to allow a kiss now. But then she saw I was kissing her on the forehead, and she allowed it.

I couldn't look her in the eyes when I said it, but I said, "I really do love you Cat." And then I turned, and walked back to my car. I heard her say my name twice. But she didn't follow this time. I never looked back. I didn't want to see her face.

After I got in my car, and started to back up before driving forward, I looked back. The door was open, and I saw just the edge of her coat at the edge of the door frame. She was standing beside the door, waiting to see if I was really leaving. Or if I was too paralyzed with sadness to actually drive away. I drove away. I drove for maybe three, four seconds.

I started screaming, "No God. PLEASE GOD. PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO ME GOD. PLEASE GOD."

I turned around and drove back. If she was still at the door, I would take her back. I would hold her tonight. I would love her, I would marry her.

Seconds later I was at her apartment.

The door was closed.

Redacted

I only made it about three blocks before I couldn't drive anymore. I pulled over in a city park that had a pool. I was walking through the parking lot, sobbing, holding the socks with my little puppy's face on them.

The truth is, he doesn't really love me. He's scared of me. Because I have beaten him ruthlessly. I have beaten him until he urinates and defecates all over himself.

The truth is, my anger problem is at least as bad as hers.

Probably way, way worse.

I sat on the curb at the park, feeling the pain of the 38 degree cold. I had a thin polyester jacket on, a polo underneath that. I sat there, looking at the small suburban houses on the street adjacent. I saw a woman washing dishes in a window. I wondered if she saw me. I saw a Christmas tree in another home.

I thought that I would be happy, in a small house, with a SUV, if I just had a wife who loved me and two children.

Shivering violently, I thought, for the first time in my life, that I would be happy,

if I just had someone to love.

I considered sleeping in my car there. Maybe she would call. If she called, I would tell her I had only made it three blocks. I would go back.

Driving back towards the Big City, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

The convent.

Was it open? How could it possibly be open at 10:30 at night?

It looked to me like the gate was open. I made a last second decision and dived across the oncoming lane into the convent driveway, nearly missing an oncoming car.

Walking the grounds of the convent, sobbing in studders, tears falling from my face into the cold air, I gripped the socks so tightly. I held them to my face and covered my audible cries. I looked up at the building where the sisters sleep, several times. I didn't know if anyone would see me, or hear my cries.

I curled up on the stairs just below a statue of Christ. The ceramic was painted to show small spots of blood where his feet were pierced.

Shaking, shivering, nearly convulsing with sobs and cries, I lied there.

I've always wanted nothing more, than to just die.

I thought about how Brad had driven my dog to Arkansas yesterday, and the videos they had sent me of him so happy playing on the field.

It's so easy to let yourself die here. All you have to do is fall into the lake, when no one is looking. I live not one block from the lake.

Eventually I stood, and walked further, thinking of when my father once told me, "Don't ever hurt yourself over a woman."

He didn't give me many words of wisdom, but the ones he did have counted.

Eventually I arrived to it. An outdoor structure made of rough, misshapen stones. A kind of chapel.

I said quietly, "Is anyone here."

Just quiet. Just the sounds of cars in the distance passing by at night. I was deep in the grounds now.

I walked inside, and it was quiet inside.

I knew where the shrine was, because I'd been here before

After I said a few sentences to Christ, I said a new sentence. It was a new conclusion. I said,

"Teach me your love."

I had both hands up on the flat counter of the shrine. My head towards the shrine, towards the face of Christ. My eyes closed. In my right hand gripped the socks Cat had given me. As I finished my prayer, still with eyes closed, my right hand released its grip, and I took both hands off the shrine.

I turned, and walked away

Teach me your love O God

Please, teach me Your love

Redacted

I woke up about an hour ago. It took about three minutes after my consciousness re-ignited for me to recall everything that happened the night before.

It took about ten minutes for me to start writing this and start crying.

Brad called me and I didn't answer. My employee at the office said that the light in the bathroom went out, so people are using the bathroom in the dark.

I told him I'll try to make it by, but I'm not if I would be able to.

I need to study if I'm going to pass this medical licensing exam.

But I don't want to pass it.

I just want Cat.

I just want her.

I guess that's really why I left her.

Because I wanted her more than anything.

I guess that's why.

0 notes