#page 333

[sharry-arry-odd]

"I hope it's okay," Marilyn says. "Fine," I say, and it's embarrassing that I'm talking to not even a plant but a picture of a plant on someone else's phone, but I can't help myself. "Look at you. You're growing up. And you're surrounded by so many sexy ferns." Huge, primordial ferns rise from the ground around him. "He was all cooped up in that pot," Marilyn says. "There was no room for him to grow. I mean, his poor little roots were traumatized. I hope I did all right." Fine won't be coming with me anymore. He won't sit on his perch and watch TV with me ever again. He isn't mine anymore. "It's great," I tell Marilyn. "It's perfect. I think I was holding him back." "There's a lovely pepper bush in there waiting to come out," Marilyn says. "He's going to just grow and grow. Next time you see him, I bet you won't even recognize the little guy." You see, I tell Fine inside my head. You're going to be better than ever. "And now you've got an excuse," Marilyn says. "For what?" "To come visit," she says.

The Final Girl Support Group, by Grady Hendrix

[districtfourmermaid]

Whichever producer decided big pit bulls were better than Tribute-esque werewolf creatures made a bad choice.

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley

Page 333-334

JANE: Well, isn't this just heartwarming? The prodigal daughter returned to the loving bosom of her family.

ROSE: Oh, is this one of those rare and marvelous beasts, the "villain speech"?

ROSE: I've written one or two in my time.

ROSE: I'm on the edge of my seat. I hope it's better than your political material; I've always found that rather trite.

JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman.

JADE: right with her own talk show

JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups!

JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

JANE: But enough of that. I'll skip straight to the point.

JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

JANE: You think I come anywhere unprepared? I haven't left the house without an armed guard in years.

ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?

JANE: Your ship is in contested airspace. You will land, whereby it will be confiscated by the Royal Human Guard. After that you will be taken into custody.

JANE: All of you. Let's call it a family vacation, shall we? Hoo hoo hoo.

JADE: wow could you be any more full of yourself??

JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

[triona-tribblescore]

I WANNA DRAAWW!! RAHHHGG!! Absolutely swamped with college work, im so tired TT (hence whatever tf this is lmao)

[smile-files]

i am in awe of their tism

[musubiki]

danmarch 🐉💎

[chasing-faith-and-fate]

Moon 40

Moon 39 | Moon 41

[leenfiend]

what’s ur type first < prev next > full comic

Want access to the next two updates now? DONATE!

[pasta-n00dles]

[ylangelegy]

these cunning folk ♾️ minghao hogwarts au.

“perhaps in slytherin, you'll make your real friends! those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends.” # day three of (the)8 days of minghao.

slytherin!minghao comes as a surprise to everybody. not only is it a rarity for muggle-borns to be sorted in to the house, but he just— doesn't look like the type, if anything. not at first. you'd think this boy would belong somewhere in ravenclaw; maybe gryffindor, even. but slytherin? what an odd one, some of the older kids think.

slytherin!minghao actually gets considered for ravenclaw. the sorting hat spends a good couple of moments, only to finally come to a decision because of a thought that flits through minghao's mind. while seated for his sorting, the eleven-year-old minghao screams in his head, please, let me prove myself.

slytherin!minghao isn't surprised when the hat gives him slytherin. his steps are certain as he walks up to the table clad in green and silver. immediately, a handful of his housemates recognize a familiar spark. ah, they think amusedly. this should be fun.

slytherin!minghao soaks up everything that hogwarts has to offer. he's not about to take any of this for granted. he's teased for it, called a nerd and bookworm and know-it-all. that doesn't matter. not when minghao learns to mumble hexes that are two years advance his supposed skill set.

slytherin!minghao becomes a force to be reckoned with. people learn not to mess with him. he's sharp— in the intelligent sort of way, yes, but in the way that's wounding as well. his words cut. his gaze pierces. at this point, nobody doubts that xu minghao belongs in slytherin.

slytherin!minghao has to fight for every scrap of status that comes his way. it doesn't matter if he's the epitome of a slytherin student; blood prejudice is still very much alive in hogwarts, even after the war. he is a muggle-born in a snake's din full of purebloods. they do not let him forget that.

slytherin!minghao keeps to himself in his first two years. he's not unfriendly but he's not warm, either. he's wise beyond his years. he could do a little better in potions, though that's neither here nor there. as he watches his peers go on to join the qudditich team, to soar academically, he only feels that itch to do more, more, more.

slytherin!minghao is asked, one day, "isn't it lonely at the top?" he jolts at the suddenness of the accusation. he has half the mind to jinx this meddling hufflepuff— jun, his name might've been?— but the latter remains undeterred. "you need some friends," jun presses. "c'mon."

slytherin!minghao almost says that he has friends, thank you very much. his housemate, jeonghan, has already taken him under his wing. that was more than enough. but jun is adamant, and jun is pushy, and minghao doesn't want to get in to trouble for doling out too many curses in one go.

slytherin!minghao is introduced to jun's housemate. "this is the guy i was telling you about," jun tells mingyu and seokmin conspiratorially. mingyu lets out a small 'ahhh'. seokmin sits up a little straighter in his chair. minghao, for his part, is horrified. "what have you said about me?" he demands to jun.

slytherin!minghao can't decide between a blush or a glower when jun casually says, "oh, i've been telling them about how smart you are." for a moment, minghao waits to see if jun is messing with him. the hufflepuff boy doesn't buck. minghao is forced to accept it as a truth, as a new reality. he had friends now, it seemed.

slytherin!minghao readily tutors seokmin when he asks for help in defense against the dark arts. minghao reluctantly cheers on mingyu during quidditch games. minghao bickers with jun more often than not, the two often going back and forth about arguments centering the muggle part of their lives.

slytherin!minghao manages to convince himself that he's just doing all this out of politeness up until he catches one of his housemates messing with jun. choice words are exchanged. a long-forgotten slur is thrown. minghao sees red.

slytherin!minghao has never landed himself in detention before, has never done anything that would lose his house points. but now he's scrubbing trophies and bearing the shame that he's set slytherin back by twenty points.

slytherin!minghao is called a traitor, is called the very name that had him hexing his own housemates in the first place. he doesn't mind them. he keeps his head high despite the whispers and the glares. he only snaps when some idiot tries to drag in seokmin and mingyu's names in to the mix— leaving minghao with another week's worth of detention.

slytherin!minghao has nothing to say when his hufflepuff friends corner him. "enough," seokmin reprimands gently, his hands on minghao's shoulders. "you don't have to fight for us, hao." hao. it's a nickname that only seokmin can get away with. anyone else gets a dirty look.

slytherin!minghao sighs, then, because seokmin is right, and jun is standing some paces away with his arms over his chest, and mingyu is absentmindedly playing with a quaffle, as if to keep his busy. and then, mingyu— the world's most unberable thirteen-year-old, sometimes— starts to laugh.

slytherin!minghao is baffled because jun is laughing now, too, and seokmin looks exasperated. "what?" minghao demands; there's nothing more he hates than being on the outside of an inside joke. "it's just—" mingyu tries to say in between laughter. he fails miserably. jun supplies, "ready to call us your friends, now, hao-hao?"

slytherin!minghao threatens up and down to give jun and mingyu a piece of his mind. seokmin tries to appease him, though the third hufflepuff boy also has the ghost of a smile on his face. by the end of it, seokmin is chuckling a bit, too. minghao wants to jinx them all in to the next century. (if you squinted, you might see the slightest upward turn of his lip.)

slytherin!minghao is undeniably brilliant, still, despite the cowards who spread rumors and the housemates who turn their noses up at him. he tops his classes. he's nice to first-years. he secures the most O.W.Ls in his fifth year, then takes an absurd amount of N.E.W.T-level classes just for the sake of it.

slytherin!minghao is an outcast in his own house, though. those his age don't respect him. the younger ones are scared of him. he doesn't have as much house pride as one might expect from a slytherin, which is ironic for a boy who could've easily been the image of the house.

slytherin!minghao is a bit of an odd-one-out in the group wearing black and yellow scarves. he's often made the butt of the joke; jun, mingyu, and seokmin being the only ones brave enough to poke and prod the bear. one christmas, they chip in to get him a hufflepuff jumper. he turns their hair green in retaliation.

slytherin!minghao learns that proving himself doesn't always mean being in good graces with the affluent and the powerful. sometimes, proving himself is as simple as letting seokmin drag him quill-shopping in hogsmeade. sometimes, proving himself entails matching mingyu butterbeer for butterbeer. and, sometimes, proving himself comes in the shape of begrudgingly admitting that jun had been right to tease him way back when.

slytherin!minghao had needed some friends, and he got them.

[charlott2n]

at least there are big thick 800+ page doorstop books. my one love in this world

[therubyjailcell]

klavier gavin my beloved ❤️‍🔥

i drew this back in early september and then proceeded to forget to post it, shame on me ig???

[pesterloglog]

Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider

Act 2, page 333

TT: In some cultures the persistent refusal of a lady's invitation to play a game with her would be a sign wanton disrespect.

TT: Either that, or flagrant homosexuality.

TG: what oh no

TG: no look

TG: im busy ok

TG: ive got a lot of shit on my plate

TG: i am sort of a big deal ok?

TT: I know.

TT: Sometimes I wonder how you are ever allowed to pay for meals in restaurants.

TT: It must be hard to keep a low profile when you're always overhearing awed voices whisper, "It's that guy who has a blog."

TG: seriously

TG: dudes be worshipping me left and right

TG: i cant hardly walk down the street without stepping over torsos of the prostrate

TT: Navigating the urban landscape I'm sure is difficult enough without an obstacle course of deferential flesh and skyward asses.

TT: Perhaps adapting the art of parkour to your unique environment would help?

TG: yeah!

TG: i mean damn

TG: like theres this scruffy little shit at my feet

TG: an orphan or something i dont know

TG: face flush on the pavement

TG: im like dude you listening for a stampede of buffalo or something?

TG: he braves a look at me then gives my shoe a little kiss and scurries the fuck off

TT: Heavy is the crown.

TG: yeah

TG: not kicking oliver twist in the fucking face every day is my gift to the world i guess

TT: Breathtaking magnanimity!

TG: among other things

TG: i just give and fucking give

TT: Indeed, nary a jewel tumbles from your wishbox of daily exploits which I imagine does not sparkle.

TG: oh for fucks sake

TG: youre just lobbying for me to play that dumb game

TT: Baseless accusation!

TG: look i am telling you

TG: egbert is ALL ABOUT that game

TG: he will play it with you and probably be tickled retarded about it

TT: I know this very well.

TT: I cannot hasten his mail's delivery, however.

TG: yeah yeah

TG: ill hassle him some more about it

TG: and look how about this

TG: if you ever find yourself in the position where your life depends on me playing that piece of shit game, then ill play

TG: will that make you happy

TT: More than you know.

TT: It perfectly mollifies my grief over the demise of chivalry.

[currenthyperf1xat1ons]

guys.

the malevolent christmas special CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY

all of the fandom jokes made me laugh SO HARD and just made me so happy that my boys got 24 minutes to be happy before part 39 that i know will destroy me emotionally but it’s okay bc BENEVOLENT!!!!

if you haven’t listened yet DO IT NOW

[likesummerrainn]

"...and it felt like it felt like that i should’ve been the happiest man in the world but every time i started to smile that little cloud came back and it started to rain and at first it annoyed me and then it pissed me off! Because i knew i couldn’t do anything about it! I couldn’t say anything about it! I had a little umbrella by my side folded up and i knew that for as long as god let it rain on me i didn’t dare open it but that is over with..."

Hangman Page Birthday Week 2024: ⤷ Day 2 - Favorite Promo: Dynamite 09.27.23 @swervestrickland