#page 1 and 2 don't happen in the same day btw

[deiaiko]

#7 - Disappearance

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[11cupids-tarot11]

A Letter From Your Future Spouse

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Cupid's Services Cupid's Master List Socials

Tips appreciated!

C@sh app and P@ypal only!

$minnieplant3

@janellec03

LOVE U

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

︻デ═一 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 1- Four of Wands, The Fool, Page of Swords, Nine of Cups, Page of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune.

"Hi you! I've been sleeping a lot, can't seem to do anything else lately because of how tired I've been. Finally. I can sleep as much as I want to now because of a situation that just so happened to end recently. Death.

What now? See, I've been wondering the same thing. But let's not even worry about it, let's just sleep as much as we want to because we finally can, even if it's only a little nap time out of your day do it because I gotta see you one last time later, I've got a message for you in your dreams. Spirit will tell you, don't worry about missing it or when <3

Resting so much so when I do have to work, you know, find that balance again between work and fun, I can focus on what's so important to me a lot better, I mean really give it my all... You know? Lol

Sorry, I dream a lot, you might notice my head is always in the clouds. I have very air energy like a Gemini.

Things are finally clearing up for me! I feel at peace, maybe we mirror each other and things are also getting better for you too? You have to let me know, okay? I feel like I can finally breathe again, be optimistic without being scared the rug is going to get snatched from underneath.

I've been working so so hard on my craft, putting in so much love and effort into my work and I feel really hopeful that all of my productivity will pay off soon, consistency is key, right?

I really like the color yellow, 😄 talk again soon!"

Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to do the poll below 👇🏾 ✨

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Pile 2- Knight of Wands, I forgot to write down the rest of the cards I'm so sorry 😞

"I have no problem with putting in hard work for anything I want, even you, you know? If you don't want me the moment we catch eyes I'll make you ;)

The moment I catch you I'm going to make sure I never stop loving you, I'll make sure every day is beautiful, even on our bad days we'll kiss each other good night before bed still. I love you!

Why do you keep worrying yourself? All of that doubt in that pretty little head of yours isn't good, you should lay it all to rest before you make yourself sick baby. Sleep more, practice some self care before you run yourself crazy, okay?

I'm so proud of you, you know, for whatever amazing things you've accomplished lately. I believe in you, I'll always be your #1 cheerleader!

You should go out and celebrate! Enjoy the sun, you deserve it my angel! Promise me you won't let this go by like it's just not that big and you'll go out and do something? Pinky promise?

Stay focused! You're on the right path, you're doing amazing! I promise you, all of this will be worth it, it's worth our future 💓 keep going, I know you can do it! 🎉"

Hope you enjoy!!☺️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!

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Pile 3- Queen of Cups, Justice, Four of Cups, The Moon, Three of Swords, The Star.

" Hi my love, you know I don't talk a lot haha, so I'll make this quick as usual and get out of your hair so you can go on.

I just want to remind you, you're my queen, my favorite, my whole world ❤️ I think red looks really pretty on you btw but anyway, I love and miss you like crazy at times like these.

I am going through something right now, a legal situation, a situation I wish would come to an end right now because it's so heavy on me, it's hurting me but I know at the same time it's happening to me because it's part of my karma, something that's forcing me to look so closely at myself, at every shadow because I think it leads me to you. My everything. We're going to get married, I'm so sure of it.

I'm keeping hope alive, I'm hanging on to every thread of it I've got. I'm working on everything right now, I'll catch up with you soon sweetheart 💋 I'm going to kiss you when I do, you won't be able to get rid of me. ;) "

Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to do the poll below!!

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Pile 4- Ace of Cups, The Hanged Man, King of Wands, Nine of Cups, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands.

"I want to come to you with amazing news but I can't, I'm sorry to say, I've taken a turn for the worst right now. Don't worry, it's temporary.

I am slowly building myself back up, that's what I'm doing right now if you're wondering what I've been doing all this time. I'm healing day by day and I hope you are too sweetheart. I might be a bit stuck and tangled up right now, but I'm clearing through it!

I'm the kind of guy who will pursue you with nothing but kindness until I make you fall for me with your charm, I'm cute, I know I am, you'll love me, I have curly light hair, and a really cute smile. You'll think I'm so adorable.

I want to offer my heart to you, fully, 100%. You have me, all of me as long as you give me you in return, I hope you do, I can't be without you once I know you.

Take care my love ❤️."

Hope you enjoyed ❤️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!

[angeisherexoxo]

Manifestation cheatcode:

BE NONCHALANT!!!!!!

When I say be nonchalant I mean say you want it done? And move on with your life, just move on.. its simple! And when ppl say its simple ik you're like "how??? How its simple because I've been working so hard to get what i want my entire life and now you're suddenly telling me it is simple.. how is it simple????" I will tell you how just read the post. (Long post ahead)

As i was saying, decide your desir, affirm for it and move on, what do I mean by moving on? I mean:

1. NOT OVERTHINKING IT

2. NOT STRESSING IT!!!

Because if you're someone who gets whatever tf they want, whenever tf you want.. why do you even think twice about it right?

♡: Examples from My own life lately:

1. As some of you might noticed I disappeared here, because I have midterms and I'm a medical student so I've got to study more yeah? Since i didn't study ever since the term started (I was focusing on manifesting as you see in my latest posts)

But as I started focusing on studying and nothing but studying my manifesting process POURED ON ME!!!!!!! bitch I was complaining about how I don't get money as a college student (we have financial issues) , now as I focused on studying and dropped thinking about manifesting (because my brain is so busy inhaling study sheets) suddenly mom gave me 20$ bucks to buy medical sheets for my studies, then she gave me another 10$ to buy something else if i wanted, later at the same day dad gave me another 20$ JUST BECAUSE (Which never happened) , that was at 24 of December right? Yesterday suddenly a relative of ours got sick, and I have an exam, we had to go pick up my grandma so she visits the relative yeah??? She saw me and decided to give me 20$, and I'M NOT EVEN FOCUSING ON MONEY or manifesting I'm literally busy studying..

Q: So ange what happened there? What does this all mean?

A: I HAD no time to even think against what I want!! That's what fkn happened, before studying I was inhaling affirmations and repeating, now as I've let it go (by inhaling my studies and not having time to think about my manifesting process) it all just worked out, who would know that I will suddenly see my grandma and she'll give me money? I DIDNT SEE HER IN MONTHS!!! that's what they mean when they say everything will move for you to have your desires, for me it was that relative who got sick that caused me to see my grandma (pray for the relative btw thanks<3)

And this here was being nonchalant but I did it by studying, YOU can just say you want this to happen and fkn forget about it, Yk when we complain always about buying this book we DESPERATELY want, or that guitar or that phone or that car or laptop and then when we BOUGHT IT and it's in our room we just- ignore it, literally live as if we never desperately begged for it and that's the fkn key, i never understood what bloggers mean when they say “Embody the person you want to be, dont wish you are, YOU ARE, assume you have it and you will” that's what they fkn mean, weeks ago I was hoping for a 10$ now I've got like 30$ per day!

2. My studies!!!

As a medical student it's fine hard to study medicine, especially when you're lazy like my own dumbass, I only study the days before the exam, for example yesterday I had a midterm for 4 sheets that I studied in 2 days, each sheet have 14 pages that's FILLED with informations, and as a girl who has ADHD and a messy mind it was hard to focus and honestly I'm princess coded I just want shit done without being tired I'm sure you all understand since you're reading this, we want it done in the most simple fast way yeah? Fuck yes we do, so! Whenever I stressed and complained to ANYONE (I'm a complainer) I started reflecting the complaining, if I noticed I was about to complain to my friends or My parents about my studies I just immediately start bragging to them, I be like oh it's so easy to me and I'm even smarter than the professors there and LORD how it's easy to predict their exam questions, and istg as I focused on this technique (if I thought against what I want, I immediately start correcting myself and think as if I'm so smart *I am btw* and it's all so easy to me) that's what fkn happened, yes I got tired and I've got so many back pain while studying but I suddenly started making questions out of the sheet instead of just studying the information as the professor has stated it, for example if he said components of immune system are : innate immune system and acquired immune system, I be like oh that's easy he's gonna ask me : Q: What are the components of immune system?

This made it so much easier to study and the next day in the midterm I saw 6 questions of the ones I fkn made in the sheet!!! It's like I hacked his mind???

3. My last and third example of My life is also about my studies, as I said I'm so princess coded and sensitive af guys, and I hate college as a girl who wants no stress and just success, so the last weeks I skipped college, I was sick and stressed and just had so many issues going on so I didn't go, and that's where they announced my name because I crossed the limit of absence (strict medical bitches) and if you cross this limit they won't let you attend the midterms and therfore you won't pass the final because there is a gap due to the lack of the midterm grades, even if you wanted to pass the final you'd have to get a full mark no matter what so you avoid the damage of not attending the midterm, SINCE my cute ass crossed the limit of absence it means I can't attend the midterm, LOGICALLY it means I failed the midterm already isn't it?

But I just decided that it won't hurt me in anyway, why? Because manifesting isn't about logic, if you tell me you can't fly I'll say I can fly and one day I will!! And guess what? That's what happened

The boss of our major came yesterday (first midterm exame as i said) and called my name, and she gave me a paper saying that I only didn't attend one subject- which is so untrue bitch I skipped them all!!! How tf there's only one subject????? I didn't want to correct her I just signed the paper (signing it is like a promise that I won't do it again) and just like that I survived the whole danger of failing- was it logical?? Did it make sense? NOOOOO but it happened omgmgmfmiquwuwu2!!!!

START BELIEVING THAT IT ISN'T LOGICAL, ITS LIKE SUPERHEROES MOVIES, THEY BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE VILLAIN AND THIS IS HOW THEY DEFEAT IT, THE VILLAIN HERE IS YOURRRR MINDSET, START DOING WHAT I SAID AND SEE HOW SHIT SHIFTS!!!!

I've got more to say for the examples but I've got to go study (wish me luck btw), I hope I helped I really tried my best to <3!

Ps: another side example is yesterday was hella cold in my country so I wanted a vacation (to study more because as I told yall it was 4 sheets and I stressed myself out so I wanted more time to get my shit together) no one said ANYTHINNNG at all about any vacation, but I just thought "idc they're gonna give us a vacation for the bad weather and that's just it) right next hours the whole country started talking about the vacation due to bad weather, all the fkn cities, but for some reason my stupid town decided that there will be no vacation for us because our town's weather is better than the other towns yk? I'm still mad about it because I was soooo close to manifest it, I guess it was because I kept stressing saying "oh god I want a vacation *crying and complaining*

I don't consider it as a success story because I had no vacation I had to go solve that stupid midterm -_- but bitch I got above 10+ towns to have vacations due to BAD WEATHER, THE WEATHER WAS FINE UNTIL I DECIDED ITS BAD. WTFFFFFF, exactly, no logic, logic doesn't fkn exist I'm about to cry oh my godness!!

Another side success story is that i suddenly started thinking void is so easy (it fkn is) out of nowhere, since i was inhaling attempting to tap into it i sat so many alarms to go try to induce it, now whenever i see the alarms i be like- its so easy why tf im complicating it- just bcs i stopped focusing on it!

cheers to all of us dreamers, I'm sure whoever is reading my post is someone who was one a wattpad person who loves Y/N stories, a Harry potter fan, marvel fan, my hero academy fan, fantasy fan, miraculous ladybug fan, in general ppl who just dont want to be here surrounded with logic boring stuff (in my case a girl who wrote fanfiction novels about one directio) , because I know you and I are here because we are dreamers!! we knew there MUST be a magical key to get out of this logical bullshitful and stupid cruel world, you already have the key you FOUND IT YOU CUTE IDIOT!!! you just need to know how to flick it and get that golden door opened (your pretty subconscious mind), me and you? We are gonna do it, just easy on yourself!!! Xoxo

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Five

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes), mentions of drugs (weed) word count: 3.3k a/n: the italics are a flashback to allie and layla in their gym class btw! love you guys <3

pov: layla

I decided to stay home from school for the rest of the week, I just didn't have the energy to endure the looks people would give me. The whispering during my last two subjects after Matt and I came back at lunch was already too much and it was worse in gym when Allie stuck to her word and paired up with me.

She seemed nice, much nicer than Mia was to me. She talked my ear off the whole lesson but I didn't mind because then I didn't have to talk.

"Don't worry about Mia, by the way. She can be really bitchy at times but she just doesn't like change. I promise she is usually a lot nicer," Allie rambled as we walked around the gym as a warm-up, "It was kinda funny though. No one ever really stands up to her when she gets bitchy because everyone's scared that her dad will arrest them."

Oh, I've met her dad.

"Matt also stood up for you after you left. I trust Matt's opinion on people, he's kinda my scapegoat when it comes to talking to people. I told him to start talking to you like three weeks ago so I could ask you to hang out. I just get nervous talking to people I don't know sometimes."

You don't seem nervous now, motor mouth.

"Sorry if I'm rambling a lot. I'm just really glad you decided to pair up with me because I've been paired with Mia for like the past 2 years. It's nice to have a new friend. It's not like I don't like my friends but Mia is my only girl friend and the guys are such guys sometimes it drives me mad. You get your nails done?"

I shook my head no before she continued, "We should go get our nails done sometime. My shout of course, I'm not gonna force you to get your nails done as well as make you pay."

She was a ray of sunshine and I was sure people were confused as someone as sweet as her was talking to someone like me who looked like they had a constant rain cloud over their head. I found myself amused by her rambling and I decided that it wouldn't be the worst thing to talk to her every now and then.

I spent the rest of my week smoking weed when my father wasn't home and drawing on the last few pages of my sketchbook. The time passed quickly considering I slept for most of the days. Suddenly it was Friday afternoon and I heard a knock at my front door.

I paused my music, frowning when I looked at the clock to see it was 3:30. It was far too early for my dad to be home so I grabbed the metal bat that was lying on the bottom of my underwear drawer, sneaking towards the door silently. Another round of light knocks were placed on the door and I crept up to it before looking through the peephole.

My tense shoulders slumped as I looked at two people with the same face and their familiar brown hair. I unlocked the deadbolt on the door as well as the regular lock before I swung the door open.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, leaning my left hand on the handle of the bat now that the other end was placed on the floor.

"Hi to you too," Chris mumbled as he looked side to side, clearly tense to be in South End as Matt smiled at me.

"I figured you would forget about the game. Decided to come earlier in case you were ready which..." he looked down at my outfit which was my small sleep shorts and an old ratty t-shirt, "I don't think you are?"

"You didn't say it was this Friday!" I frowned and Chris looked down at the bat I was leaning on before shaking his head.

"Good thing I came early then," Matt smirked at me and I chewed at my lip. I tapped the bat on the ground as I thought making Chris look at me again.

"Calm down. I'm not gonna use it on you," I deadpanned to Chris and he just shrugged, looking back out at the street. I felt a nervousness in my chest because they were at my house but I knew if they stayed on the porch or in their car, someone would try something. So I reluctantly said, "Come in."

"We can wait in the ca-"

I cut off Matt quickly, "Get inside now." They looked at each other in surprise before shuffling past me and I closed the door behind them before saying, "Do you have anything valuable in your car? Phone, wallet, laptop?"

They both shook their heads and I locked both of the locks on the door before I spun around to face them again.

"Why?" Chris asked and I tilted my head, giving him an unimpressed look.

"I'll just say you're lucky you drive a fucking soccer mom car or it would be broken into within 15 minutes," I answered blandly and they seemed somewhat shocked but didn't talk, "Come on."

I walked down the hall towards my room, slipping inside and they followed shortly behind me.

"We could've waited on the couch," Matt said as I closed the door of my bedroom and raised my eyebrows.

"If my dad came home and you were sitting on the couch, say goodbye to hockey for the rest of your life," I replied dryly and he pursed his lips, "If he comes home, you will just have to go out my window and jump the fence around the side of the house."

"You don't know when he's coming home?" Chris asked as he leaned against the wall beside my mattress and I shook my head. I was suddenly very conscious that I had the two most loved boys in our school standing in my dirty bedroom. I looked around my room, realising that I looked like I lived in a trap house with my mattress on the floor, empty beer bottles in the corner of my room with cigarettes stuck in them and clothes all over the floor.

"Sorry about the mess. No one ever comes over," I mumbled as I moved a couple clothes off of my mattress, "Sit wherever. Just don't look over here because I'm gonna get changed."

I travelled to the corner of my room where my chest of drawers sat and I saw them both turn to face away from me quickly. After placing the bat beside the drawers, I pulled out black baggy jeans, took off my shorts quickly and slid them on. I then took off my old T-shirt and slid on a baby blue hoodie. I didn't bother putting on a shirt since it would be cold at the game and I wouldn't have to take my hoodie off at any point.

"I'm dressed," I let them know as I grabbed my boots off of the floor, sitting down next to my dresser so I could slide them on easily. I looked up to see both of them sitting on my mattress, looking around my room. Their expressions were unreadable as they looked around my room.

"I like your posters," Chris spoke up and I looked to the wall above my mattress where my Bob Marley, Frank Ocean and Kurt Cobain posters were hung.

"Thanks," I answered, a half-hearted smile being sent his way which he reciprocated, "When do we have to leave by?"

"Four," Matt answered and I nodded, checking the time to see it was 3:40. I hopped off of the floor, walked over to my desk and sat down on the old desk chair.

I scribbled some eyeliner on my eyes before smudging it with my finger and then putting mascara on. I grabbed my lip balm, placing it on my lips before I ran a hand through my curly hair. I grabbed the white beanie that was thrown onto the floor, sliding it onto my head. I jumped up from the seat, grabbed my leather jacket that was hanging over the back of the chair and slid it on.

"Do I need to bring anything?" I asked, having no clue what else to bring to a hockey game.

"Just your team spirit," Chris cheered sarcastically and I tilted my head with an amused look on my face.

"I'm not a cheerleader for a reason," I answered and he shrugged, a small smile on his lips.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't cheer when we win," he retorted and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm good as long as I'm not expected to start screaming 'Go Bats go!' like an idiot," I did a small jump when I said the slogan that I heard all the cheerleaders say proudly and Matt laughed in response as Chris shook his head with a smile.

"You wanna get food on the way?" Matt asked and I shook my head in response.

"I'm good, I just ate," I explained and he nodded, quickly checking his phone.

"We should probably go," he said, turning his phone to me to see that it was 3:55. I couldn't believe another 15 minutes had passed so quickly but I nodded. Making sure I had my phone, cigarettes, lighter and keys in my pocket, I swung the bedroom door open as Matt and Chris followed behind me. I unlocked the front door swinging it open and motioning for Chris and Matt to go outside.

They walked past me and walked to their car as I turned around to lock the door with my keys. After triple-checking the door, I wandered down the driveway to the minivan. I noticed that Matt was always the one to drive and Chris was seated in the passenger seat, phone already plugged into the aux.

I slid the back door open, jumping inside before I closed the door behind me. As I buckled myself in, Matt started the car and Chris played a song by Lil Skies.

"We good?" Matt asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror and I nodded before he spun around to look at me, "I didn't even have to remind you about your seatbelt, so proud."

"Start driving before I change my mind and go back to the comfort of my bed," I smiled slightly and he beamed back at me before he spun around and we took off down the street.

Within 5 minutes, we were in the parking lot and Chris was wriggling his body along to the beat of the next Lil Skies song. I could take a wild guess as to who his favourite artist is.

Matt turned the music down, earning a glare from Chris but he turned around to look at me ignoring his brother for a moment, "You waiting in the car or coming in?"

"I'm gonna have a smoke first then I'll come in," I explained and he nodded before turning off the car.

"You head in. I'll be there in a sec," Matt told Chris who was clicking away on his phone. With a nod, he jumped out of the car and walked around to the back of the car.

"You want me to take your shit inside?" Chris called from the trunk as I turned around to see Chris lugging his huge duffle bag full of hockey shit.

"Nah I got it," Matt called back to him and Chris raised his eyebrows as he leaned into the trunk again.

"Don't start fuckin in the car or I swear to god," he deadpanned before slamming the trunk closed and I saw him start walking towards the building.

"Sorry about him," Matt mumbled apologetically and I shrugged as I turned to face him.

"It's fine. Wouldn't expect anything less," I told him with an amused smirk making him shake his head, a smile creeping onto his lips, "Are you gonna go inside?"

"I'll wait for you to finish and then I'll show you where to sit inside," he explained and I nodded before hopping out of the car. I closed the door behind me before leaning against the car, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between my lips before lighting it. I heard Matt's door open and close before he rounded the car to get to the trunk.

As I began smoking my cigarette, a car pulled into the space next to Matt's and a few moments passed before Nate and Allie appeared out of the car.

"Hey! Matt told me you were coming," Allie beamed at me and I observed her outfit, feeling strange to see her out of her usual cheer or gym attire. Instead, she had blue jeans, a black puffer jacket with a blue beanie on and black and white vans.

"He failed to mention the game was this Friday," I told her and she rolled her eyes as Nate waved at me. I sent him a wave back with the hand that held my cigarette before I took another puff.

"Is Nick coming?" Nate asked and Matt appeared beside me, duffle bag over his shoulder.

"Nah. He said something about doing homework tonight. Chris is already inside," Matt explained with a shrug as Nate rounded the back of his car and popped the trunk open, grabbing a duffle bag of his own hockey gear.

"You coming in?" Allie asked me and I held the cigarette up.

"When I finish this," I told her, a smile tugging at my lips at her beaming personality.

"See you guys in there!" Nate called as he started walking towards the building with Allie following behind him.

"Is Miss Cheer herself coming?" I asked Matt once Allie and Nate were out of earshot and he shrugged, moving to stand in front of me as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

"No clue. She usually shows up late if she comes though," he told me honestly and I nodded, noticing my cigarette almost being done. I quickly finished it before dropping it onto the ground and squishing it underneath my foot. I went to push away from the car but Matt stopped me by saying, "Hold up."

"What?" I asked, confusion written on my face. He held his hand up before he dropped his duffle bag to the ground and squatted down to rummage through one of the smaller pockets.

He pulled out a small pot of black face paint and a brush before standing back up, "Move your hair."

"What are you doing?" I squinted at him as he opened the pot of black face paint and he smiled at me.

"Just trust me," he shrugged and I squinted my eyes at him for a moment before I tucked my hair behind my ears. I tilted my head back as I peered up at him and he dipped the brush into the pot before he started painting my right cheek.

"If you're drawing a dick on my face I'll kill you with my bare hands, Matthew," I mumbled, trying not to move my mouth much as his tongue poked out between his lips in concentration.

"If I was gonna do that..." he trailed off before leaning back with a smile, "I'd use a sharpie."

"What did you do?" I asked and he just shrugged as he closed the pot again, sliding it back into his bag before swinging it over his shoulder again. I slipped my phone out of my pocket, opening the front camera to see he had painted the number 81 on my cheek, "What does this mean?"

"You'll see," he shrugged with a smirk and I frowned as he started to walk backwards before he tilted his head towards the building, "Come on. I gotta warm up."

I pushed away from the car, trailing behind him as we walked towards the entrance. He swung the door open, standing behind it as he let me walk in first. We walked through the front area, some of his teammates being gathered around to grab snacks or energy drinks.

"Matty B!" one of the guys called who I recognised as Daniel and he jogged over to us as Matt paused, dapping him up quickly, "Who's this?"

"Layla, Daniel. Daniel, Layla," Matt introduced us and I just nodded at Daniel, not surprised that he didn't know my name.

"No Mia?" he asked Matt and Matt just shrugged in response.

"She's being weird. I don't know dude," Matt answered before he looked towards the rest of their team, "You guys gotta hurry up. We have 45 to warm up."

"Sir, yes, sir," Daniel sent Matt a salute before he started walking backwards and looked at me, "Nice to meet you, princess."

I sent him another nod before Matt started walking towards the doors of the rink, "Ignore Dan. He'll try to fuck anything with legs."

"Don't worry, Captain. I don't do goalies," I smirked and he chuckled in response, holding the door open to the rink for me to enter first again. I walked in, the cold air hitting my cheeks making me shiver.

"Layla!" I heard Allie's chirpy voice call out from the bleachers and I looked to my left to see her sitting front and centre, I sent her a small wave as I started to walk over to her with Matt following behind me.

"I gotta go get ready but are you good to sit with Allie?" Matt asked me and I turned my head to look at him now that he was on my right and I nodded.

"Yeah. Go make sure your hair is nice before you play," I joked as he rolled his eyes, pushing my shoulder slightly before spinning around to walk backwards while I paused at the steps that led up to where Allie was seated, "Break a leg, pretty boy."

"Thanks, pretty girl," he smirked at me and I bit my lip to hide my smile as he spun back around and walked into the locker room at the end of the rink. I shook my head to get rid of my smile as I walked up a few steps before sitting down next to Allie.

She smirked at me and I gave her a confused expression, "What?"

"Nothing," she hummed, her smirk turning into a smile as she looked out onto the ice. She pulled a packet of Sour Patch Kids out from her small handbag that I hadn't even noticed before she pulled open the packet, "You want one?"

"Sure," I shrugged, picking out a couple before throwing them into my mouth and her actions followed mine.

"So you and Matt..." she trailed off and I looked back at her as she smiled at me.

"Me and Matt?" I questioned, waiting for her to continue.

"You guys are cute," she shrugged, a genuine joy spread across her face and I let my mouth fall open.

"Uh... I don't even know if we're friends let alone anything else," I told her honestly and she rolled her eyes playfully before she hummed.

"Matt doesn't talk to just anyone. If he's asking you to come to his games clearly he wants you around," she told me as if it were obvious and I shrugged as I chewed on my lip. A few players from the other team skated onto the ice with their full gear, doing laps around the ice lazily.

"I don't think Chris and Nick like me though. His brothers' opinions probably mean a lot to him," I answered, looking at the players skating in circles. A couple players from Matt's team slid onto the ice as they started doing the same as the opposition.

"Chris is just focused on other shit. Nick tends to stick to himself a lot so just give them both time," she tried to reassure me and I looked back to her before she continued, "Besides, I like you so they're not getting rid of you that easily while I'm around."

"What about Mia?" I asked, genuinely curious as to how heavily Mia's opinion influenced her friends.

Allie sighed as she looked out at the rink, "Mia will figure it out. I don't know why she's being so weird about it. I think it's because she's protective over us."

"Matt's the one that came to me. I don't know why she was acting like I'm tryna break up your entire friend group," I mumbled as I looked out onto the ice to see a couple more players.

Only then did I realise that number 81 with a small C on the chest of his blue and white jersey was skating around the rink and it was none other than Matthew Sturniolo.

[chaand-jalne-laga]

CJL LIVE BLOG SEASON 1 [EPISODE 1]

So. I know, this is wrong. Coz I put the IPK one on hold and now i am starting another, but I thought, this one is just for 82 epis(SO SHORT? WTF? CHALA HI NAHI SHOW?!?!?) So, it wont take much time to complete this and I also wanted to keep this content and ipk content separate. Hence, a separate blog. I know y'all might be hard-core Arshi fans and ipk fans, but, give this one, a chance, as well, ok? Just for entertainment's sake? Please? Baaki, it's your choice ofc :) Hope you enjoy this.

1.) Hmm. Pune. Maharashtra. A girl peeping out through the car window. Enjoying the 'jaadu' in the air. Btw, I like the BG score, here.

2.) In the flashback, we see two kids sitting on a white horse and the horse is galloping in its full galore. The girl confirms the magic in the air as her hands are flying. Lol. Typical kids.

3.) Tara di's sister is asking about her opinion on her looks. IDK but I cringed real hard when she said, "Achi lag rahi hun naa?"(Like yeah darling, you look average. Lol. JK. You look stunning but stop with that cringe acting, ok?)

4.) Tara Di opens her hair and A SECOND-LITERALLY A SECOND AGO, she was irritated but then immediately she is impressed with her di's improvisation. Whatever. Lol.

5.) Selfies. Di is excited so she starts taking selfies and her younger sister is suspicious instantly. Why? Does she not take selfies on any normal day? Maybe. *shrugs*

6.) How typical of people to instantly assume that if a girl seems excited then she might be having a 'chakkar' with some boy. Why girl? Your sister can't be happy for her own self, just like that, without any reason? *hmph* Do you make her that upset? Lol. That now her excitement seems abnormal.

7.) NGL but this Tara di's sister is a really bad actor, whoever she is. Sorry. Lol.

8.) Tara Di gets off the car and lets them drive by. Then, she quickly runs to the Bus Station to catch a bus for--?--whatever.

A Side Gyaan : But that's such a bad way to catch a bus, actually. First, you catch the attention of the bus driver coz they are at a considerable height and then they stop the vehicle ONLY THEN you cross it and get on the bus, okay? My readers? Don't be like Tara Didi, okay? Good. Now, we come back to the epi.

9.) So. Tara didi is changing her shoes. I really thought for a sec that she will change her outfit too. Lol. A kid is staring at her antiques and she notices people are staring at her. So.

What do you think will she do?

a) ignore them

b) make faces at them

c) sunaoify (rudely) them for staring at a slightly differently dressed girl

d) give them a five page ka gyaan on social etiquettes as a soon-to-be 'Starplus Bahu'

Yeah. You are neither right nor wrong, coz she will randomly pull out a jar of lollipops and distribute it to appease them. Yes. We all do that. We all step out of our homes, thinking we might happen to be in a bus and can then distribute it among the children on the said bus. Whatever.

10.) TD gets off the bus and buys chana and gur for--?--*shrugs*

11.) TD is now sitting in a-tempo?-transport vehicle. Whatever. Driver announces her destination which is- "Sehgal Estate"

12.) The driver assuming her to be a tourist, warns her, of the place having been shut down for quite a few years now and he tells her that an accident had taken place, many years ago. TD flashes back to that 'haadsa' and politely dismisses him by stating that she is a local.

13.) Ok, ladies, so all things aside, who all can climb up and cross that gate, that high, with a WHITE SAREE and that too without staining it!?!? Anyone? No? See, our Tara D (Lol. I have so many name ideas for this girl.) CAN. She is a champion at this. (Okay so i wanted to take a screenshot of that long-ass gate but Jio Cinema didn't let me. Fudge you, Ambanis'. Whatever. Lol.)

14.) She takes help from Deva's flash back advice when he had first guided her to climb that (same?) gate. Okay, so that saxophone BG score is cute, okay? Lol.

15.) Gosh. How did they manage to find a small girl who looks exactly like Kanika Mann? Wow. Casting directors take a bow. *bows down with joined hands*

16.) Okay, so the titular song has started in the BG and I am loving it. Meanwhile, TD is going about the mansion and recalling that 'haadsa'.

17.) I am actually kinda liking this kid, Deva. How sweet of him. He extends a bunch of yellow flowers (symbolizing friendship). And damn, he has one hell of a head full of soft and flowy tresses. Wow. Any hair care tips for us, girls, Deva? Lol. Whatever.

18.) She digs out the 'nishaani' of their friendship which is basically two thick stones(or rocks?) joining like a puzzle piece and 'Badshah' along with caricatures of Deva and Tara, carved on the two pieces.

19.) She becomes very emotional, holding the symbol of a once very beautiful bond she had with some boy named- Deva. And then out of the blue we hear a horse neighing and Tara instantly brightens as she recognizes Badshah.

20.) Sure enough, we see Badshah running towards Tara and Tara on reaching close to it, touches it affectionately on it's jaws. We see that Badshah is indeed angry and disappointed on Tara. He starts running away as Tara tries to pacify it(him?). Oh. So. The chana and gur was for a horse. Ok. Nice.

Fun-Fact : All things set aside, Kanika genuinely had to interact with a horse in the middle of the shoot. I wonder if there's some story to this episode which she might have, like she was hell scared of horses and yet had to learn how to interact even if it's a well trained horse, we are talking about. Okay. Enough. Now back to the epi.

21.) Basant Kaka has come to see Tara Bitiya. What's with that line?-"Main janta tha ki aaj ka din tu bhulegi naayi, zarur aayegi." Kya hai aaj ke din mein aisa? Tara's demeanor changes as she recalls the incidents that took place in today's date.

22.) She tells BK that today is the day she met HIM (Deva?) and she reveals that he was the only one who made her Tara from 'Phus Tara' (Deflated Star or according to Jio Cinema's caption-'Timid Tara'. Basically an insulting nick name.)

(Lol. See. I got another name. But. Sorry i won't use that coz it triggers her childhood trauma.)

22.) Do I see vengeance there, Tara? Okay. So, we are being taken 15 years back.

23.) Wow. What an a__hole of a brother. He is chasing Tara all over the house with a bunch of crackers (chataai?) Tara is hidden inside the cupboard but she wants to come out because she is scared of darkness and it's all dark inside the cupboard. Ronak bhaiya fools her to come out but lays the chataai bomb and lights it with a matchstick giving her a 'Sehgal Promise'. These Sehgals seem to be too stuck up of a family tho.

Not-So-Fun Fact : God, these are the worst kind of crackers not only coz of the sound but also they keep scattering everywhere, while bursting, once lit. Even I am hell scared of these and always stand at least 1 Km away from these. Lol.

24.) Not knowing better (how would she? she is just a kid of 7-8 something.) Tara trusts her wicked brother, who has already run away to the veneration, steps out of the cupboard but it's too late the crackers keep scattering everywhere and bursting in the meantime and the poor kid is hell scared she starts calling out for her father ("Baba").

25.) Baba is doing aarti of Devi Maiyya (Oh. Hello DM. How are you? How are Khushi-Arnav and their munchkins doing? Lol. Sorry. I get carried away a bit.)

26.) WAIT. WHAT!?!!?!?! Is that the same guy, who was in Sheesh Mahal, on the fashion show night and Khushi came, asked him for directions but instead got to listen to an Urdu Shayari? Wow. See. A crossover we didn't deserve but got anyway. Whatever.

27.) Baba was doing aarti when his hell scared daughter comes and merely touches his back and the veneration plate skips away from his hand. Lol. What kind of a diet Baba takes that he couldn't even handle a gentle push from a mere kid of 7? Whatever.

But the thing that surprises me more is that he is about to lash out at her in front of the whole-family?- bunch of people. This is where I thought that there's some major tiff going on, in the family, like, everyone is against a mere kid.

28.) Baba, your daughter was hell scared, that too, coz of your a__hole of a son. A lil bit of compassion would go a long way. Thank you.

29.) Wow. A__hole father, a__hole brother. Tara. Run. I said. RUN. Whatever. Poor kid. Is getting blamed for the thing that she couldn't have any control of. So. Baba's wife died at childbirth. So. Now. He has got a lifetime license of blaming and punishing his daughter for it. WoW. jUsT. wOw.

30.) Some one please call a gynecologist and enlighten him that it hardly has anything to do with the child but has everything to do with proper timely medical care. Whatever.

31.) OH. She is crying in front her mother's portrait. Asking if she would ever be loved by anyone or not. I so desperately want to go and give her a looooooong jaadu ki jhappi. Uff. I am getting goosebumps now.

32.) She hears a melody being played out from a harmonica and is instantly drawn to its source. She sees, a boy riding a horse named Badshah and carrying balloons on it's saddle. She is kind of intrigued by this boy.

33.) The boy introduces himself as Deva and in the process, mocks Ronak. Ronak is kind of irritated of this boy already and tries to take over the horse and orders BK to light a long-ass chataai (do they have nothing else in the name of crackers? Lol. 'sEhGaLs') But, Deva is frantic and warns not to burst crackers as it will make Badshah go crazy and mocks him again and Ronak pushes him and Deva falls down.

34.) BK, following his master's orders, lights the chataai and Badshah goes crazy, starts running around violently. There is chaos everywhere, somewhere in the midst, Baba also shouts. The horse Badshah is now running towards Tara and Tara is frightened to the core. She freezes at her spot and covers her face ready to face the impact. Deva pulls off a high jump stunt and lands on the horse's back and calms him down in the process.

35.) Deva tries to cheer Tara up and is successful and from there on they both spend time together and thus become hard core friends.

36.) Deva lightens up her world. She smiles more, laughs more, conquers her fears a lil bit more, every time she is with Deva. And one fine day, they both are celebrating Deva's birthday and Tara has brought a cake for him. A candle is perched on its top. Deva lights it up and blows it away to make a wish. But the candle keeps lighting up again and again automatically, this surprises Deva and Tara falls into a pit of laughter and we see grown up Tara laughing in front of BK recalling the incident. This show is really moving something inside me. It's so heart warming tbh.

37.) Ok. So now they are celebrating BK's b'day and she has a cake-cum-aate-ka-halwa. BK lights up a matchstick and the small speck of fire again ignites that trauma in Tara. Poor girl is traumatized on loosing her only best friend.

38.) Tara and BK think that Deva is dead. And, Badshah has been bought by someone in exchange of lakhon rupiye. Altho, Bhojariya ji had a deal with Tara that she would pay him to keep Badshah in the Sehgal Estate but upon getting a greater amount of money, naturally, Bhojariya Ji sells it.

39.) Tara is heart-broken that she could not keep his only belonging safe and so apologizes to Deva (who she thinks is in heaven) and we are instantly taken to a hilltop where we see a man, also in white. So. Deva. He is alive and probably a reech buzinez man, i think? And, now, the plot is quite predictable, Tara will try to take back Badshah from that 'man' and he will in turn not reveal that he is indeed Deva becoz there is some misunderstanding on both of their side. So. He will try to seek revenge from Tara for what he had to go through in the past. As it is clear from the line, "Bohot jal chuka suraj, ab chaand ko jalna hoga." Wow. What a beautiful parallel tho. (Suraj-Deva and Chaand-Tara and also the title of the story makes a lot more sense now.)

40.) Ok. So. Jalebi reminded me that I did not mention Deva's entry scene. So. Yeah. Deva's entry scene, huh? Wow. Yeah. Sirf. Wow. I had literal goosebumps already and then that drone shot from the hilltop. The teapot hanging above the fire. Lol. What a traditional way to make chai amidst nowhere. Btw where did he get chai ki patti from? And what about chini? Cup? Lol. Banda puri taiyyari ke saath aaya tha. So. Yeah. Amazing scene. Handsome Deva. Beautiful white suit. Already swooning.

Not-so-Fun Fact : Damn this reminds me that I have been chai-deprived since yesterday coz chai was finished and no one in our house(as in me and my parents) were bothered enough to bring it from the general store altho we all were very much bothered for not being able to have a cup of chai. uGh. Whatever.

41.) Wow. Wow. Wow. This show has already started to cast its spell on me, to be honest. And it's just the first episode.

P.S. : So. Yeah. Very beautiful. Very very very beautiful indeed. Cinematography wise. Script wise. Costume wise. Look wise. Everything is perfect for Chaand Jalne Laga. TBH I was underestimating this show but it indeed is beautiful. Please do give it watch. Ok. Then. Bye. God bless you.

[onf-headcanons]

ONF Fake Marriage AU headcanons

(idea dump version, might expand and elaborate to single post when i got more time to spare. Also, happy belated ONF month~)

Hyojin

-Maybe a long lost friend/classmate/university club mate, and coincidentally your parents nagging you two to get married asap.

Both you and Hyojin already passed a few candidates and you two knew that your family members are getting annoyed.

So when both of you end up matchmaking with each other and the moment you two recognised each other, you two hurriedly clicked on the plan of fake marriage for the short time being.

The one that agrees to play along but will list down a bunch of rules and consequences to make sure both of you are on the same page.

No one is taking anyone's advantage. (not even if he is actually in love with you deep down).

Cues in comedic moments that migh happen: because your lifestyle are still like of a non married single, for example, you went out clubbing and Hyojin is at home. Parents decided to visit without notice, and then Hyojin had to hurriedly call you to prevent things go south lol. And then it made both of you understand the importance of the power of teamwork.

Also I think the tendecy is high to happen, so I will specifically write it here, Hyojin defending on your behalf when parents are pressuring you to get pregnant.

if 10/10 is super slow burn, I think for this, the speed maybe a 6 to 8 on character relationship development.

Changyun

- More like marriage as politic kind of arranged marriage at first, but he fell harder later.

Might be your aristrocratic family corrupted and nearly died out, and then Changyun's family took you in. (Or even worse for you, your family sent/presented you to his family hoping you can influence his family to provide your family benefits)

You don't want to use and manipulate him so you come clean on the first day you both met.

Nevertheless, Changyun agreed and said he can help you to be independent. Maybe you are actually very good at doing business (is just that your family thinks you are better off married away, or maybe they value male heir/eldest rather you being the female/second or younger child).

It could be Changyun helping you by paving way for you to build your business foundation, but in return, you need to pay him back some income shares later on.

Respects you and even though he can put up an act of PDA but in private he is very timid on getting close to you.

*btw, younger prince who is not qualified for the throne X the younger child whose talent being dismissed by family is actually not a bad setting imo. Slow burn meter wise, I think could be 7 to 8.5 for this one, as it will take even longer time for both of you getting to know each other.

Seungjun

- IDK but I think it will be crazily hot to imagine this under Spy undercover family AU (yeah like SPY family and Mr and Mrs Smith). Enemies to lovers and then kick*ss together.

(could be rival in business like he is top 1 and you are no.2 and both of you are assigned to complete this mission. or spyX assasin like Spy Fam)

Cue in awkward PDAs from you but when it was initiated by him, it was smooth af and you flustered really hard.

Also, to your suprise, he actually admires you and see highly of you very much (if its Seungjun X fem Spy colleague), I can see him mentioning and praising your hardwork and he sometimes felt he should not be the top 1 only just because of gender advantage.

Another trope that I think it will be cute is that in secret, you are crushing on him so hard and you start to confuse yourself later on.

Slow burn meter, 3 to 4. (I wont elaborate, but in terms of spice this has the highest tendency to be the spiciest lol.)

Jaeyoung

- Happy to help you, but, i do feel this will be fluffiest Friend to lover ever. Helping you out with the act not because he is aloof, more on he is kind and gentle.

He doesnt want people to hurt you so if that is the most efficient way to protect you for the time being, so be it. However that does not mean he will let things slide just like that.

Just my selfish thoughts, Mafia! Jaeyoung vs reader might do the trick. I mean we can emphasize more on why Jaeyoung does not want to make a move on you because he does not want to put you in trouble (might be safer when people only see you as plaything rather than soulmate.), and also he thinks that he is not qualified to "walk under the sun" with you.

BTW, if you think this is the defrosting the ice king trope, you might be half right. Jaeyoung might be just holding himself back alot because he does not want to burden you, he doesn't want to cross the line.

Alot of activity you two did are more on hanging out with each other and getting to know each other better.

High chance this might just end up with you two getting divorce but remaining as best friends.

Or, another high chance is both of you are not divorcing, but end up continuing the play until both of you are so used to each other, and maybe 4 to 6 years later both of you agreed to stop thinking too much and officially become a true couple instead.

slow burn meter might be 6 to 8.

Minkyun

- maybe come to you with a contract and even set up rules like, divorce in 3 years later.

another Office AU maybe? The rich CEO X reader trope.

But actually he wanted to try his best to make you fall in love with him within 3 years.

(He has been eyeing on you ever since, but you are the independent type and unlike those who will constantly circling around him. Might be thinking having you as his fiancee/bride is a conveninent case but fell in love with you damn hard when he got to know about the values you believe in).

BTW if wanna include angst for this, may insert you thought Minkyun trying to use you as a bluff so that he can see other person, cues in love rival that creates unwanted drama, and you are scared af that people might know you are the one that got married to him.

And you did thought the love rival is more of a match to Minkyun than you are.

I think this one might be fun and comedic when it is more on you trying to hide the secret that you are married with him, but on the contrary he has no problem telling everyone he is already married (but he did not disclose your identity).

Under the comedic moments, insert some serious moments/conspiracy that actually Minkyun purposely chose someone else(you) for the marriage was due to him trying to protect family business.

Should he really engaged/married with the love rival, things might end up real bad.

Cues in Minkyun saying things like, I am not manipulative and prudent enough like my family members but I am still capable enough toprotect the things and people that I treasure deeply.

Slow burn meter I think will be 6 or 7.

Yuto

- I felt that Yuto X Single parent AU might work(?), also very very loose citizenship marriage trope can be applied here. Oh, I will very much prefer the idea of dead spouse single parent rather than divorced single parent for this idea.

You see him as younger brother/junior before. But knowing that you need a father figure/another parent to keep your child. And knowing that he a local to help him prolong his visa/PR. After a long talk, you two agreed to get married (only just on papers).

Of course I am don't feel it is wise to cage the idea that Yuto being a house husband and you are the one providing for the family. (not that this idea is a bad one, but its too cliche for me)

I would like for this to epxand on how both of you adjusting life to take care a toddler, and the bond slowly grows. Maybe you are not that used to taking care of your toddler and Yuto will help out and guide you.

Also because of the change of your mindset, your character also started to change in a good way.

In the begining, both you and Yuto will still act up some PDA to trick other people. But as times goes by, both of your chemistry and bond getting stronger, the interaction between single parent and Yuto gets more natural.

Because of good chemistry, alot of people around you really thinks both of you are truly a pair. And both of you will deny every speculation that you two are a couple.

I think this one might either end up you both being really good friends/team mate in the family, OR once both of you found someone (and the child is now older lets say 12 or 13) a friendly divorce to end the "relationship". Two of you be like BFF until old age.

Cues in the child calls you "Mama"(for those who identify themselves) and Yuto "Papa", but with your new partner, the child calls them "Dad".

[spider-jaysart]

What was the last comic you read & your least favorite?

@pin-crusher2000

Last comic:

Supersons haha, because I love rereading it

Least favorite:

Ooooh sooooo many!!!😤

(Incoming spoilers about some of them btw, in case you plan on reading some of these)

1. The comic that Bendis wrote, which caused Jon's whole age up and then changed everything for him in his life in main comics after that

2. The Supersons comic that starred the older, current version of the boys, because even though it was supposed to be like "Oh look fans! The boys are back!!", It just wasn't the same since DC already messed things up. And there were also some ooc moments inside the book too in a way where it felt like they swapped a bit of personalities🤨, which was pretty odd and didnt help so much for the enjoyment either

3. Don't know if you know this video game series or not, but it's called Telltales the walking dead games, and after the series ended, a comic series called Clementine was released a while after that and it's all so horrible, because it ruins everything about Clementine (the main character) and the good ending she had in the last game, making all the struggles she went through in her survival journey over the years to keep living and hopefully find peace one day seem like it was all actually for nothing. The writer doesn't understand her at all and mischaracterizes her so much that it's super annoying!! I HATE that book so much!!!😤😤 That is not my Clementine, just Tangerine

4. The Legion of heroes comic where they met Damian, because the way they treated and spoke about him, especially right in front of him and also Jon who they know is his friend, was just so disgusting to see and I was disappointed in the way Jon handled it and how he still joined their team after that AND the fact that he still dated Saturn girl too. His written reaction during that moment just wasn't enough, because I believe he should've been way more mad about it all, lost some respected interest in their group, and have his feelings on Saturn girl really changed up afterwards, which he would've been right for and it fits his character better because he's protective of his loved ones like that

5. Marvel zombies. I've never read it before, so I can't say if anythings wrong with it, since I don't know how most of it's story throughout the series goes to actually say if it has good or bad writing, but I just hate whenever I see it, because it's all just really gross and too messed up for me. Don't get me wrong though, because I love apocalypse stories, they're my faves, it's just that looking at this series and the stuff that happens on page feels a bit too much for me

6. Beast Boy by Kami Garcia.

Idk if this counts enough to be added into the list, cause the book was good, it was fine, it's just an annoying thing that stuck with me that changes my view on the book whenever I reread it now, because Beast boy seemed like he was genuinely really into the popular girl in the story, but then at the end it turned out he was actually just using her to get the feel of being popular and that just didn't sit so well with me when I read that part, because that just only makes it look like that's all he ever really wanted from her now and wasn't actually interested fr, even when he did look like it. Then he just runs off onto an adventure in the end after admitting to his friends that he didn't actually care that much about her anymore, just when he had finally gotten her invested in him and it's like, dude, what the heck??? That's how you handle it????

7. "Beast boy loves Raven" and "Robin" both by Kami Garcia

These are both also fine stories, it's just another thing about one of the romances, which doesn't let me really get through the books so well the way I want to. Damian falls for Raven's sister in "Beast boy loves Raven", a little too quickly tbh, and soon starts dating her, which is continued in "Robin" (because ofc he does, he can never just be a single kid that's not being set up everytime with whatever same age girl they can throw at him or just can't be left not crushing on some mature woman who's way too old for him, which is just icky whenever that happens). It feels weird because he's instantly into her the second they meet without him getting to know her, he's flirting right away back with her when he doesn't actually get like that in canon and mostly keeps his feelings to himself when it comes to crushes since he's reserved, and then he begins dating her after not too long and then they're pretty close and so cutesy playful as a couple, which should be fine, but it's just the way it's done that feels off to me loll, and I'm not so sure how to exactly explain the vibe, like it's too overly sweet in a way that's just not fitting because it was kind of quick and Damian seemed way too expressive with it a lot??? Probably not the right way to say it, idk lmaooo, but a friend of mines also understands and feels the same on the whole topic here. Like, it all just feels ooc on Damian's part the way his character there handles the whole thing. And this is not because I'm a Damijon fan loll, cause even if it was Jon in the love interest role instead of Raven's sister in the two books, I wouldn't want it to be rushed either. I would want Damian to have to get to know him better too before actually developing any romantic feelings and showing any signs of interest in him, and after a good while of getting to do that, then he grows more comfortable around him and they start dating later, cause that would fit his character better and would make the cute, playfulness feel more fitting in the relationship and seem more natural since they've already gotten close enough to be that way. It's one of the reasons why I like Damijon lol, because they're both already so close in their friendship, that dating could work between them so well. Once again though, this is all just my opinion that I'm expressing

8. I am not Starfire

That book is just so dumb lmaooo, only the art is good. Mandy, the daughter of Starfire, is an annoying, spoiled child who only envies and disrespects her Mother, makes everything about herself, gets too mad about everything for no good reason, and she doesn't even share any Tamaranean features with Starfire in looks either, except for the green eyes and very normal looking ginger hair, like seriously??? Dick is obviously the Dad, but he won't step up to get involved at all and pretends this isn't his problem, and I hate that this a trope that keeps happening whenever Dick and Starfire have kids with eachother, one of them gets taken away or either just leaves the other on their own to deal with everything, which sucks, because they should be able to be a happy family all together already where the kids grow up with them both in their lives, not more of this. Anyways, besides those mentioned things, everything else in this book is also very annoying and makes no sense too and it's not worth the read at all because of it

9. The Injustice crossover with Jon

Most of that book was annoying, like for example when Injustice!Clark broke Jay's arm and then Jon threateningly went into Ultra power mode just to....give Clark a hug for it. Like wtf lmaoooo???? He was overly playing pacifist and it was so, so stupidly silly. And I don't even know what's going on in that universe now after he left it, like that's how much of nothing he did in there, except get sassy with everyone and try befriending Injustice!Damian lolll, which made things feel like a literal waste of time in the crossover when it seemed like he would actually try changing things up in there somehow

Okay, so I think that's it for now, cause I can't think of anymore books at the moment lol, so thanks for the ask, crusher! I like that I got to express about some of these! :)

(I apologize if these rants were a bit much btw, I just get like that sometimes because I don't get to do it enough😅, so, sorry about that, unless you're fine with it though and actually like reading that, which is awesome then, cause then I've got a good listener loll)

[luminantrondo]

How did Judith become so good at reading people?

Fun fact: Did you know Judith's flirting is actually one of many fronts she learned to put on when she was adapting to the "world below"?

Spoilers for Ryuutsukai/Silence of the Dragon Rider vol.2.

CW: attempted sexual assault.

Yeah, you read that 'cw' right.

Within the second part of the chapter 1 in the second volume of Ryuutsukai (like page 20-ish in the physical book), there's a scene where a young Judith (I'm estimating she's either 14 or 15, maybe a little older) is almost assaulted by a predatory son of a bitch.

To summarize part 1 of chapter 1, Judith and Ba'ul have made a name for themselves as the "Dragon Rider" due to them destroying Hermes blastia. The first chunk of pages is just exposition about barrier blastia that we already know, and Judith flies in on Ba'ul and does what needs to be done.

Part 2 of chapter 1 puts to use Judith's whole "gambling" thing she had going in the game itself. At a bar, she beats a man at cards, is accused of cheating, but before he can hurt her, Ba'ul barges in and breaks a hole in the roof, enabling her to escape. Then the Imperial Knights appear to arrest those in the bar for "illegal gambling."

I kiinda got a bit confused at this part since the scene changes and the only indication we have is a "Later" (like, for example, "2 days later" time skip). SO I'm assuming this took place shortly after the card game.

Judith struggles to read people and realizes she can't use the nageeg on humans. Furthermore, she doesn't want to use nageeg to read into their hearts after what happened when she read her father's heart.

--

spoilers for volume 1

For those that don't know, this was shortly after Hermes learned from Duke that his blastia was causing damage. Hermes, in a panic, frantically searches for ways to undo his mistakes, and it unwittingly puts distance between him and Judith. Not helped at the time is Judith still being in the Great Circle, a giant, empath-like hivemind that binds the Krityans together. Emotions are "shared" between one another, unlike with humans. If a Krityan feels an intense emotion, the Great Circle soothes them until the feeling is gone. So Judith, unknowingly, is also distancing herself from her dad.

One day, when Hermes comes home and passes out due to exhaustion, Judith uses her nageeg to read into his heart the same way she connected with Ba'ul. In doing so, she discovers the presence of "another daughter" that's "hiding" behind the Judith in Hermes' mind.

The heart-reading is a bit tricky to comprehend, but it's broken apart in categories. Hermes has his love for blastia, but above that, there's an overwhelming love for his daughter, Judith. But when Judith looks closer, she sees the second daughter. In the second novel, the second daughter is confirmed to be Rita Mordio.

(And before you ask, no, it is never confirmed if the relation between Judith and Rita is blood-related. However, context from the Rita novel (Blue Sky) hints that it may just be adoptive and Rita's biological father was a random NPC. In that Rita had no dad because her dad left, as she says in the game, but Hermes was a presence in her life when she was very young, further supported by the cut Negative Gate skit, which, btw, is in the novel.)

The discovery of Rita in her father's heart shocks Judith so bad that she's "pulled" from the Great Circle. So she now has all her emotions "back" and can feel things without being lulled into some eerie calm. Unfortunately, this incident shook Judith so hard that she's afraid to use the ability on humans again.

end spoilers for volume 1.

--

Unfortunately, being a 'wanderer' as the book so lightly puts it comes with its cons: Judith needs money to survive.

I always had the feeling it's because Vesperia is strictly PG-13, so it tends to skirt around what could be major adult themes. Like for example, Ragou keeping kids in his basement to "feed to monsters"? We all know if Vesperia was bumped up a rating what this is really substituting. In Judith's light novel, this one scene in particular kind of leans on the rating and tries to push it.

Some creep catches Judith wandering around and starts asking her weird questions like "Where are you from?" and what not. He tells her a way that she can make money. Big fucking guess what this 'method' is.

The following passage is taken directly from the novel. The translation is by me. If you can translate it "better" so the wording flows, be my guest:

不��はすぐに的中した。相手はジュディスを薄暗いところに連れ込み、その服に手をかけた。暗がりでよく分からなかったが、他にも何人かいるようだった。「大人しくしていればすぐ済むよ。ちゃんと払うもんも払ってやる。悪い話じゃないだろ。」 "Her fears were quickly proven right. He brought Judith to a dimly-lit area, then placed a hand on her clothes. She couldn't make them out in the dark, but there seemed to be other people in the room, too. 'If you're quiet and behave well, it'll be over quickly. I'll even pay you good. Not a bad deal, huh?'"

No, Judith does not get assaulted in this scene. The following sentence is "she wouldn't know until much later what happened", but this is referring to how she realized that she could have been raped.

Fortunately for Judith, she uses her nageeg, which pretty much gives her superhuman strength and reflexes. It's how she defeated the monsters that cornered her when she got Brionac. When she "comes to", her fist is bloody and all the men are lying in a heap on the floor.

And then Ba'ul bursts in to save her, because Judith still carries his horn. During her distress, she called out for Ba'ul.

Following this traumatic event, Judith uses her observation to read people. She realizes when to act meek, flirty, or have a poker face depending on who she's dealing with. She can tell what people really want from their subtle looks - especially men (the book's words, not mine) - and uses this to her advantage when she picks up the whole "wandering gambler" schtick.

So, like a certain other character, Judith wears a mask. Multiple masks, even. While I won't deny her flirty behavior with Yuri and Raven is out of genuine playfulness, it's definitely part of one of her many fronts, too. But by distracting them with a smirk and some pretty words, she can decipher what the other person really wants. It's a good thing Yuri and Raven are nothing like the guy who tried to take advantage of her.

I'd go on more rambling about this scene and how it negatively changed my opinion on two of her fandom pairings, but I don't think that's the point here.

tl;dr: Judith became good at reading people because she couldn't use the nageeg on people, so she had to rely on her instincts/observation skills to survive while she was on her own.

[edwinspaynes]

I dont think matt changed, I think cc wanted to do a novella of him since day zero, whereas I think she changed grace edning, Im pretty sure after seeing how hated she was she made her miserable

Yeah, I don't think Matthew's ending would ever have been anything but happy. He is definitely a character who was handled with a lot of love and care, and his was clearly a powerful story that meant a lot to many people.

Cassie always seemed to favour him in that same way she favours Jem/Jace/Magnus, which suits me just fine since he's possibly my favourite fictional character ever.

He was by far the most-teased TLH character along with James, having 2 short stories centered around him and 1 more where we got to see him deteriorate a bit. He was a character that she talked about a lot in the early days of TLH's development. He was also always considered one of 4 main characters alongside the 3 main PoV characters (and I'm pretty sure that he, along with Alastair, gets more overall page time than Lucie, too).

I think Cassie definitely has planned a Matthew novella for a long time, and I don't think that she was ever going to compromise him in a way that could interfere with that.

I'm also very glad that she didn't give him a love interest in the main TLH series, btw. His love interest always had to be himself. He needed to help himself. He had to be the one to spur his own growth. I'm proud that he did.

Matthew's arc was masterfully executed, and I do not think she could have pulled off its wonderful pacing and messaging if it weren't her initial plan.

Onto Grace:

I actually am extraordinarily surprised that Grace survived TLH. I don't think Cassie was miserable seeing how hated Grace was; in fact, I think that Cassie's narrative itself wants the reader to hate Grace, at least a little bit. This is actually one of the reasons that I'm so defensive of Grace. I don't think that she was given the same love and care that other traumatized characters like Matthew and Alastair were given.

I do, in the end, think she changed the Grace ending. I think Grace was meant to die a la Jessamine. But instead, she was allowed to live, and trapped with a group of people who (for totally good and legitimate reasons!) will never, ever fully embrace her. I wish she had been sent to another Institute where she could form new connections with others that she hadn't egregiously wronged (out of fear and terror and abuse). There's nothing tying her to this group besides Jesse, who clearly is no longer fond of her. Should've let her go, but I'm glad that she's at least not dead.

Of course, speculating about the "original ending" or "what was going to happen" is never productive. As Cassie said, there is no "true" alternate ending, which suits me just fine because I love Chain of Thorns, I adore the ending, and I actually only have a few major criticisms about it (most involving Grace). It's all a writing process, and things change over time (as in, one of my OCs initially died in my own novel's draft but she will very much live and hopefully have a spinoff if everything goes to plan).

But, yes. I think Matthew's could never have been any different, and I think Grace's actually improved over time.

[theflyingfeeling]

#(today i was distracted by this way too elaborate olli/allu + olli/tommi + allu/joonas murder mysteryAU set in the early 50s i came up with#(which you are welcome to ask more about btw)

oh????? 👀👀 please do tell some details about it if you want to? i'm very interested 👀👀👀👀👀👀

have an amazing day 💖💕

Yes yes yesssss!! 😌 But before I proceed, a couple of disclaimers: 1) the summary below is gonna contain referenced murder and sexual assault (NOT by any of the main characters though and nothing is described too graphically/explicitly), 2) it's rather vague in parts and I'm yet to figure out some of the details, and 3) I'm not planning on ever writing any of this, in fact I think it'd work better as maybe a TV series? I don't know. I for one don't have the skills (or patience) to actually write this (...plus I'm actually terrified by this whole thing myself ngl 😅). I hope you enjoy it though! As much as one can enjoy a murder mystery... 😥

First I'm gonna have to explain what inspired this. I learned today that last week it was the 70th anniversary of one of Finland's most famous cases of unsolved homicide, the murder of Kyllikki Saari. The link will take you to the Wikipedia page of the case (in English), but to summarize it (skip the rest of this bullet point if you don't want to hear about stuff like this!!), a 17-year-old girl was murdered on his way home from a religious gathering and 5 months later her remains were found buried in a bog. To this day, no-one knows who's behind the murder; there have been a couple key suspects, but no clear evidence to prove anything for sure. There's also nothing that would directly prove it was a sexual crime, although it can't be ruled out, since the victim was not wearing any clothes on the bottom half of her body and her other breast was out of her blouse when they found her. Now PLEASE don't take me for some weirdo and think I'm somehow fascinated by the case or think it's cool: I'm creeped out as fuck about this tbh, but ever since I first heard about the case, it's been haunting me a bit. Not daily obviously, but every now and then something reminds me of it. In the late 50s - early 60s there were also two other equally famous, unsolved murder cases in Finland: the double murder of Tulilahti (two young women killed on their bicycle/camping trip, also buried in a bog + a number of other similarities with the case described above) and the Lake Bodom murders (three campers killed inside their tent, one camper in the group survived but suffered injuries that caused memory loss; the link will lead you to Wikipedia). This idea of mine is probably most inspired by the Tulilahti case, but only vaguely.

- So based off the cases I described briefly above, I'm basing this story in rural/countryside Finland in the 1950s or the 1960s (sorry for any possible historical inaccuracies that may occur 😅) - The story begins with Olli and Aleksi, two friends who want to... explore each other, themselves, and their sexualities, if you get what I mean 😏 They're not boyfriends per se, but they do enjoy each other's company maybe a little more than is appropriate for friends of the same sex (in the context of the 1950s/60s). Of course, this all has to happen in secrecy, and so they seek out secluded places for this purpose - One day they decide to go for a swim in a pond they had found deep in the forest. I know this story is full of plotholes lol but let's imagine it used to be a popular swimming place for kids and that an old, wooden changing room has remained there from those times. I don't know if such things existed in the 50s already, but please humour me a little and imagine a simple wooden hut with two rooms in which to change into your swimwear, yeah? (one for boys, one for girls) - So they go for a swim and have all sorts of fun in the water, and as the sun's about to set (as much as the sun ever sets in Finland in the summer), they head back to the hut. They should be changing back into their normal clothes, as soon it's gonna be too dark for them to easily find their way out of the forest, but they get a bit carried away... 💞 - In the middle of their fooling around, they hear noises from somewhere by the pond. Two people talking in the distance, footsteps, etc. They can't recognize either of the voices from that far. - (plotholes plotholes plotholessssss) - After a while of listening to the noises in terrified silence (afraid of getting caught by whoever's out there), they hear screaming. - There are noises of fighting/struggling. The screams start coming closer to the hut. - The person (a woman, they can tell) is still screaming in terror when she's pushed to the other booth (the one next to Olli and Aleksi) - Then the screams are first muffled, then weakened, until they stop altogether. - Sounds of something being dragged. A man grunting. Steps around the (windowless) hut. Olli and Aleksi are paralyzed with terror and don't dare to even breathe. They stay the night at the hut, awake and trembling until the morning, not daring to sneak out until they're finally sure no one's around anymore and return home. - They find an item on the path from the lake. A watch maybe, I haven't decided yet. They can't remember seeing it before, but of course that doesn't mean it wasn't there already when they arrived. In any case, one of them picks it up and takes it with them. Just in case.

- I'm not sure what either of them do for a living in this AU, but I'm imagining Olli working at some kinda office (at the town hall maybe? I don't knooooooow) and Aleksi maybe as a farmhand with Joonas as his roommate (both details crucial to the plot) - They swear to each other to not talk about what they had heard in the forest to any other living soul, but when Olli returns to his office job the next day and hears that one of his co-workers (a woman around his age, more an acquaintance and a co-worker than a friend) has not showed up for her workshift, Olli gets a bad feeling. - Olli mentions this to Aleksi and says that they should go talk to the police about what happened, but Aleksi forbids him, as he's afraid they might get in trouble, not necessarily because they might be key witnesses to an alleged murder, but because of what they were up to at the time. - "What are you gonna tell them when they ask you what we were doing there, huh?!" - They have a proper quarrel about it and depart on bad terms :( - Obviously the case is bothering them both; even though Aleksi tells Olli to forget about the whole thing and act as if nothing has happened (between them nor in the forest), he has nightmares about the incident. He hears the screams of terror in his dreams and wakes up with a gasp (only to find out the screams had been just a seagull screaming outside at sunrise), which rouses Joonas' curiosity - Cue a side-plot of Aleksi and Joonas lending each other a helping hand/mouth to let off some steam before/after their farmwork (maybe Aleksi tells him he's just stressed about idk??, while Joonas has trouble coping with surpressing his sexuality, which obviously reflects on their thing). I'm not yet sure what's the purpose of this side plot, other than to give Aleksi (and Joonas) something to do during his fall-out with Olli

- Speaking of which, meanwhile Olli remembers that his old schoolmate / childhood friend Tommi works as a police officer in town these days. Olli can't handle keeping the secret to himself anymore, and without Aleksi around to stop him, he decides he can trust Tommi with it, without fearing what he might think if/when Olli needs to spill the truth about why he had been in the forest - Indeed, Tommi is curious to hear why (you know, for the purposes of the investigation), and Olli doesn't explicitly tell him, but rather... implies it. Not saying the words, but it doesn't take a genius to understand what he means - Tommi understands. He undertands perfectly well, in fact - Olli refuses to tell who the other key witness is, but agrees to help Tommi with the investigation as much as he can, if Tommi in turn promises to keep his little secret - Tommi is so into the case that he uses his free time on it as well, and he invites Olli to help him out at his house one evening (he still lives at his parent's farmhouse). - ...which means they have to be extra quiet when making passionate love to each other in Tommi's room 🥺💕 - Usually Olli manages to sneak out at night, but one time he accidentally falls asleep and doesn't wake up until there's a knock on the door - Tommi gestures Olli to stay in the bed and be quiet while he goes to get the door. - There's a man, asking if Tommi borrowed his watch again (he hasn't). Olli recognizes the voice. - When the man's gone, Olli asks Tommi who it was. Tommi's brother. (much older than Tommi and lives out of town, so Olli never knew him - Olli can't wait to get out of the house 💀 - He practically runs to Aleksi to tell him about his discovery, and accidentally spills the whole thing to Joonas too (he didn't notice Joonas was in the room as well (nor does he pay attention to the fact he's half-naked on Aleksi's bed)

Aaaaaaand that's what I have so far 😬 I'm not sure if the plot makes any sense (for example, I have no idea what Joonas' actual role in this is), nor have I given much thought to the motive of the murder (secret lovers who got in a quarrel that was taken too far? a random lunatic losing his temper with a girl who rejected him? I don't knoooooow) or any details as to how the victim and the offender ended up at Olli and Aleksi's hideout (without noticing they weren't the only ones there at the time). I also have no idea how this all will be resolved. Will Aleksi eventually be ready to give his witness's report as well? Will Olli be able to tell Tommi who he thinks is the murderer and show him the watch they had found? What will happen to Aleksi and Olli if they have to publicly confirm they had heard the murder because they had been doing something illegal themselves in the next room? Will the body of the victim be found? I don't know 🤷‍♀️

Also, I'm sorry Joel and Niko are not in this, I just couldn't imagine them with in the 50s/60s setting with their long hair 😂

[lietpolski]

Denmark, 0! (I'm so glad they added an all option!)

!!! ok here we go :D

1) what would their social media page/activity be like: i've discussed this w/ a friend but i think denmark is the most technologically capable after sweden! i think on twitter he's a little more professional (but he loves rting feel-good stuff) BUT he shines on insta. it's full of artsy pictures of the danish countryside and embarrassing videos of him and his friends on his stories :,)

2) what animal they remind me of: i don't care that it's predictable that man is a puppy!!!! manga denmark is a golden retriever but anime denmark is a yippy chihuahua with that fucking voice

3) my thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone: LOVE!! i think his canon outfit is really nice compared to.... whatever the other four are doing!! his hair is dumb but it's dumb /affectionate /i love him

4) physical headcanons: i got a few! he's an early bird!! and a light sleeper. physique-wise he's the second tallest nordic and he has BIG ass arms (an axe was his main weapon so!! makes sense to me!) he has a huge sweet tooth + he loves pastries!! but his favourite is whatever norway bakes because he's a softie :) as for actual food.... this man survives on sandwiches hot dogs and beer. get well soon x

5) social headcanons: denmark is the nordic with the most friends outside of the group!! finland comes close, because everyone loves finland and he has estonia & hungary, but i think denmark's outside friendships are more involved! a strip that really stuck with me is one during the denmark-norway period, where he goes to the netherlands and asks him to give him the buddy price on weaponry and ned agrees despite how he usually is :,) within the group, i see him as having an older-brother-but-kinda-dad relationship with iceland. sweden and him are close now and they're just the brothers who had a fallout but now r coping by insulting themselves jokingly (only when they're a few drinks in sometimes it's not a joke). he and fin only became close in later centuries but their personalities are super compatible so they're great friends!! and he and norway... oughghhg you're talking to dennor lover #1 here HAH to me they've been basically on-and-off in love for 1100 years or so :,) i'll go more into it in a future post so i'll stop here but!! yeah!!

6) psychological headcanons: i feel like i covered most of this in my denmark analysis!! but hm yeah for me his greateast fear is for sure isolating his family again. and despite how carefree he acts, i think he weighs his decisions very carefully because of what happened in the past when he didn't. i think he's actually really good with dealing with anger in modern day (he's had a lot of practice) but he regrets how he used to be before. speaking of before!! i love to think abt him from the viking era to approximately the late 1500s just... cocky bloodthirsty denmark is really fun to explore and i think people should play it up more instead of making him p much as sweet as in modern times! i dont think he wouldve been anything like that to anyone but his family and own people (also animals btw this guy loves animals 100%)

7) ship(s) with them that i like or at least consider: in terms of like... my version of canon i'm a dennor soloshipper i think :,) BUT i find denmark/norway/finland/sweden fun to think about!! also denmark/estonia is a rarepair i think is veryvery cute. and some classic nedden never hurt anyone!

8) made-up connections with other characters that weren't in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever): yes!! estonia as i just mentioned! he was danish land once and he's a nordic fanboy now so they have to have some kind of relationship! also prussia; i know they do have the whole awesome trio thing going on, BUT i think historical denmark & prussia is not spoken about enough. the 2 were on the same side all the time back then!! finally i find it really funny if he and poland get on each others nerves HAH again because of historical reasons!

9) headcanons about their past: again covered a lot of these already but!! here's one that's a little different. denmark was the first to become christian, and i think he would've annoyed the fuck out of norway and sweden (who were still norse pagan) about it! sometimes it just got him exasperated eye rolls, sometimes it got him beheaded, yk how it goes

10) content about them I'd like to see more of: anything i love denmark sosososo much more iceland & denmark content!!! i adore norway & iceland don't get me wrong but they for sure overshadow ice & dan when it comes to familial dynamics and it's a shame! also i think a lot of the historical content focuses on the viking era, the fall of the kalmar union or 1814, and i'd like to see more of him in the 1500s-1700s!! he was up to interesting stuff!!

[wildelydawn]

4, 6, 12, and 14 for the ask game you just shared. Hope you feel a bit better soon! (Love you!)🫂🤍💛

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Hmmmm, I'm not sure. I like the way Australians may or may not say no/"naur." I think it's very cute. But I don't think that counts, right?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

I promise I am not planning something fucked up or anything, but ever since Chester Bennington took his life, everyone around me keeps saying, "well, we should have known, look at the albums Linkin Park made." And like... yes, people process a lot of stuff through writing. And I am sure Chester did too. But I really am afraid that one day, if things were to happen, someone would look through my journals, articles, fanfics, or even this blog and say, "Well, we should've known." I have a good life. A much better life than many people I know. And sometimes, really terrible things happen (whether by choice or fate), but that doesn't mean my entire life, or Chester's, was awful and that we only make/made art because of bad things. My really sad writing (or even my writing about IRL problems such as war, etc) shouldn't become evidence for living people's crimes or neglect. I don't know if this is making sense, but basically, I'm afraid everything I write will unconsciously be classified as a symptom of my depression/suicidal ideation. (And maybe Chester is a bad example because a lot of his music was "sad" or "troubling" or whatever words people like to use, and I in no way knew Chester intimately, but idk. I'm just uncomfortable with people saying, "'Heavy' was definitely a sign that he was fucked up" when "Battle Symphony" is on the same album.)

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Hmmm. 1) The ability to not talk myself out of writing. 2) To always find the perfect source/research needed. 3) To never have to worry about a works cited page/have all my citations perfectly done.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I constantly lend books to people, and I don't particularly care what they do with them because most of the time, I have writing/annotations, post it notes, etc in them. I think I have gifted/gave at least 6 copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray to several people. They ask to borrow a copy, and I almost always give them one and then find another copy in a thrift store. It's basically a cycle. I am perfectly fine with never getting a book back. If I'm ready to give it away, then it's done it's job with me, and it's time for that book to change someone else.

Tenks my friend :3 I adore you!!

Send me weird writer questions.

[oneroom-disco]

Hey Bebe! Dunno if you still check your tumblr but thought I'll try anyways. I remember you showed you bought FGO fan art books before on twitter (I think it was Tezca's, I don't recall if you bought others...), and was wondering if you got them through a proxy service? I think you're in the country same as me, and I was thinking of pre-ordering an FGO fanbook from C105, but I heard customs is a nightmare... So I was wondering which proxy service you used. Sorry if this question makes you uncomfortable! You can just ignore this question if it does.

hey sure I’ll be glad to answer it, I use two services:

AOCS - the easiest way for me, tora even has a page on advertising their service. As of now they waive domestic shipping fee to their warehouse so you could really save a lot. You can store your orders for up to 30 days, storage can be extended for another 30 days (total 60 days). The storage extension used to be free but starting Feb 2025 they’ll start charging for a fee. No details yet but it should be cheaper than paying for international shipping multiple times. Tho note that the max orders you can consolidate is up to 10 orders.

One thing I like ordering on tora is there’s an one click button for preorder/purchase, esp useful when you need to fight others for really popular books (when umino chica’s oberon book PO was up the server died LMAO), so you could skip the confirmation screen and place order right away and save time

〰️〰️〰️���️

Tenso - sometimes the artist might opt for melonbooks instead so I will need to ship to tenso first before getting them shipped to msia. This is what I used when ordering the tez artbook. You get a local jp address then you can start shopping. Note that recently visa/mastercard are no longer accepted on tora/melonbooks so I was using amex (if you buy on tora using aocs you can use visa/master via paypal).

You gotta pay domestic shipping for each melon order so it’s best if you could add them to cart together, tho if it’s a really popular book sometimes I’ll just place that order first (just did it for takolegs 🤪). I’m preordering a few more of takolegs’ older books (it’s only open tomorrow) so gonna try out that grouping function later to see how that works.

There’s few options for melon shipping: the cheaper mail delivery メール便 or courier 宅配便, depending on your order size/weight sometimes you can only go with 宅配便.

Once your orders arrived at tenso they will notify you, even tho they say you could store for 60 days but if you’re like me wanting to consolidate several orders it’s effectively only 30 days since the first parcel arrival date. I send my aniplex+ and pixiv booth orders to tenso too. Oh yeah started in Aug 2024 tenso starts collecting 10% SST for msian orders even tho supposedly books should be tax free 🙃 I never had to pay taxes for my aocs book orders

〰️〰️〰️〰️

there’s buyee but I don’t use it coz 1) I can navigate jp websites, 2) I think you gotta wait for buyee agent to get back to you? and stuff so by the time they do the item might be sold out already so I trust myself to buy popular stuff way quicker

〰️〰️〰️〰️

I haven’t had too much issues with customs so far (been using aocs since 2022), but once they opened my aocs parcel for inspection and ripped some of the books plastic wrapping and didn’t place them back properly so one of my book cover got bent URGH. The other one time I got randomly inspected again and they charged me for inspection at some ministry (srsly?), so I paid poslaju to act as agent (rm60+) then the parcel is released and delivered to me eventually.

also if you’re from msia, I wouldn’t recommend buying r18 books in case your parcel does get opened for inspection it will get confiscated. Iinm aocs straight up rejects tora r18 orders for msian customers coz they had too much troubles with customs in the past.

Btw the eta date on tora/melon is just for reference, in rare cases it happened to me where the tora preorder is way beyond its original eta date (like a month?) so I ended up have to ship my pending orders on aocs first since storage limit is up

um wow this ended up way longer than I tot, thanks for reading up to this point and happy hunting for those doujins!

[tehuti88-heritage]

After My Dad, Part 1

(October 28, 2024)

OK…I'm starting to get errors again (it happens every time I come here, post a one-off, & think, hm, site seems to be working, let me try a multipart thread I've been wanting to start for months yet refrained because of the errors), but let me try to start this thread. It's a loose spinoff of the one about my dad's passing--very loose, though directly connected, it goes in a different direction. There's some genealogical stuff but it should get into topics some might consider a little "woo-woo" so there's that warning. It's been my way of trying to make sense of things.

Patchy & out of order due to my scattered brain. I'll add to this off and on, I can't guarantee when due to errors & anxiety. There's a Tumblr link on my main page where I will post all this at a later point in case of Universeodon malfunction, which happens when I write long threads. I'm jinxed.

The original thread: https://tehuti88-heritage.tumblr.com/post/763115474996330496/my-dad-part-1

The other day I went out to this little apple tree at the woods' edge to look at the exactly 4 apples it had. 1 nice big one, 1 ugly warped one, 2 tiny stunted ones. I'd planned to pick one, I chose the nice one, at a slightly later date, & bring it inside for a while, something I'd done last year when there were only 3 apples.

To my dismay…the nice big apple & its stunted companion were gone. They weren't on the ground. I finally spotted the remains of the nice apple shoved in a branch crook, half eaten. I pondered, should I take that apple still, or one of the 2 remaining? I finally decided on a new apple. Just seemed to me this half-eaten one had already been used as an "offering." I needed an untouched apple. The other 2 were too high to pick so I used a stick. Tried to knock down the tiny one, couldn't, so knocked down the ugly one. Figured maybe it's a sign that I'm meant to have the ugly apple & not the nice one.

I brought the ugly apple inside. Set it on my Irminsul where I'd once had the original apple. (The design of this Irminsul, I'm aware BTW, is highly problematic. Check Wikipedia to see why. I keep it only because I feel drawn to the Irminsul (rather than this symbol) itself, having found both Charlemagne & Widukind among my ancestors (I expected the 1st…was surprised by the 2nd), & so far nobody has created a new design. I'd like to create one myself, though 1. I suck at design, & 2. even if I do, it'll never catch on as this one has. So for now, this problematic Irminsul stays.)

You see some recent additions since the last time I photographed this. A set of charms & 2 statues of an old woman with goose feathers. Her name is Frau Holle or Holda. I set this up, wondering--though not quite sure yet--if she's the one sending signs, like the apples.

Firstly, some context:

Frau Holle.

(The young lady with the pillow in the illustration is not Frau Holle, BTW. That's Goldmarie. She's shaking Frau Holle's pillow, though. Same as the small statue in my photo.)

Last year, the autumn after my dad died, the apple tree, which I'd never noticed before, had only 3 apples. I took one. Didn't know why. Didn't know even what to do with it. I kind of wanted to eat it, but it might have a worm in it for all I knew. So I placed it on my Irminsul. Considered it an informal sort of offering, though to whom, I wasn't sure.

The Irminsul is a symbol of Odin/Wotan. Yet I feel no connection to him. I don't feel that he's reached out to me. Indeed, the more I read about the different Germanic deities, the more discouraged I felt. They're all grand beings, gods & goddesses of love & war & fertility. Nothing that has to do with me. I'm not a homemaker or a fighter. I'm a coward, a nobody, a nothing. Why would any of these beings want anything to do with me? I feel bigheaded just entertaining the concept, as you may tell from my posts here. May, might, maybe, uncertain, unsure, I don't know. I don't want to presume I'm worthy at all.

I kept the apple on the Irminsul throughout that winter & spring. Hoped for it to mummify. It did darken & shrivel, though remained mostly intact. Didn't turn to mush or smell bad. We got an ant infestation in the summer & at that point I reluctantly wrapped the apple in a disposable glove but kept it there a while longer.

I knew by now what the apple's ultimate fate should be. I had to give it back to the tree. It was only a temporary offering I took, now I had to give it back. I just didn't know WHEN. Should I wait exactly a year? I believe I took it in November. I wasn't sure when to return it.

The anniversary of my dad's death, June 29, I had to go out to clean the cat box. (Glamorous, I know.) I decided this was the day, this should be when. That evening I took the apple outside with me, carried it to the woods' edge, & gave it back to the tree.

There's an element here I've forgotten to mention: Among the Germanic deities, the goddess Hel.

I'd briefly toyed with the thought that maybe SHE was the one. Not a deity of love, war, or fertility. The deity of death. Why her? Because suffering & death seem to follow me everywhere I go. I seem destined to keep witnessing this, without being able to do anything to help. Whether it be my cat dying of heart failure, or the raccoon on the porch succumbing to distemper, or my dad slowly dying at home despite my pleas for him to go back to the hospital, it just seems I can only watch the pain, & do nothing. Maybe that's the point, I wondered? Maybe my point isn't love or war or fertility but to witness something's last moments; not to save them (I couldn't save my dad 😞 ), just to be there to see it. Maybe so that something wouldn't die alone or forgotten. Was that my purpose? Was Hel the one?

Accordingly, I looked up & read all the stuff I could find about Hel online. Can't really find info about her in Continental Germanic belief, however; it's all Norse stuff, which I can't really connect to. I figured she has some equivalent somewhere. She's even equated with Holle in some sources, though most conclude they are not the same. I reached this conclusion myself; maybe they share a superficial connection, but I doubt they are the same being.

I decided to venture an offering to Hel. I made a drawing. Since I'm no good at anything & have nothing of value to offer, still I've heard it's the intent that matters most. The drawing isn't how I envision Hel (I think it's posted here somewhere) but I offered it anyway, with all best intentions, then waited for a sign that she accepted it.

I never got any such sign. 😞

I could only conclude that Hel was not the one. That left…nobody. I could think of literally nobody I'd read about that might accept me as theirs. This realization really hurt. I've been rejected by most people and groups already…to be rejected even by a spiritual being you're reaching out to, well, that's a special kind of hurt. Like being rejected by your own parents. By the universe itself.

After leaving the apple under the tree--an offering given back, to whom, I didn't know--I remembered this, how Hel hadn't acknowledged me. Nobody had. My eyes filled with tears. I started crying as I cleaned the cat box. I dared to ask directly: Okay then, if it's not you, then who is it? Is there anybody? Send me a sign. It doesn't have to be big, just something small, just something obvious enough that it's not a coincidence. Please, just send me a small sign.

Immediately after I thought this…I felt a tickle on my leg.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

The 2nd one-

Shawn is:

Impatiently waiting for brotherhood in greater numbers than the world has ever known. 4-27-24

"Six months after Elizabeth had become pregnant, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a city in Galilee. The angel went to a virgin promised in marriage to a descendant of David named Joseph. The virgin’s name was Mary.

When the angel entered her home, he greeted her and said, “You are favored by the Lord! The Lord is with you.”

She was startled by what the angel said and tried to figure out what this greeting meant.

The angel told her,

“Don’t be afraid, Mary. You have found favor [a] with God.

You will become pregnant, give birth to a son,

and name him Jesus.

He will be a great man

and will be called the Son of the Most High.

The Lord God will give him

the throne of his ancestor David.

Your son will be king of Jacob’s people forever,

and his kingdom will never end.”

Mary asked the angel, “How can this be? I’m a virgin.”

The angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come to you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy child developing inside you will be called the Son of God.

“Elizabeth, your relative, is six months pregnant with a son in her old age. People said she couldn’t have a child. But nothing is impossible for God.”

Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.”

Then the angel left her." - Luke 1:26-38 (the Bible)

There was internet when I was in college, as brief a spell as that was in my life, but it wasn't the giant, unrelenting research thing that it is now.

I took 2 courses before my relapse. One of which was a world religion class. I aced both classes, albeit the other one was an open book, open note music appreciation class. Lol

All of this is to say that I learned a new thing today that started in my Facebook feed in the comment section under a post of a guy I follow.

It seems that he recently converted from the Christian pastor I knew him to be, to a member of the Nation of Islam.

As I read the shit back n forth from everyone, I learned that Muslims believe that Jesus is the Messiah.

I already knew that they believed he was born of the virgin Mary, that he performed devine miracles during his life. I also knew that there were mostly differences surrounding his death and transcendence into heaven.

I learned today that they all are taught to be more Christ -like than anything else. To live as closely to the actual way Jesus did, as they humanly can.

They also believe he will come back to earth in the end of days to defeat the false messiah, or the "anti-christ".

They can't truly call themselves Muslim without that belief, and love and respect for Jesus and all his followers.

Jesus would still love the misguided. All followers of him should do the same.

Discrepancies in the different doctrines obviously leave it to fall on individual personal feelings for how they believe, but both Christianity and Islam call for more christ-like living in the followers of each.

Pretty big learn for me today.

Btw, they love you guys, more than they love me. Lol

Jus' sayin'

I do love being able to find, so easily . . .books, all books.

Obviously, some research is tainted or altogether fabricated, but not just going to a website or social media page filled with biases, opinions, or out-right lies is nice.

Read the words myself, some new, some as refreshers.

Read them myself.

How I long for the day when peace will overcome - amoung you all, amount US all.

Unpeacefulness, or even hate and fear, born out of an ignorance of others is the worst kind of hate.

I don't care if you believe like me, or like a Deist, or like a Christian, or like a Muslim or someone Jewish, or fully Atheist, we are all brothers in humanity. It would be nice if we all acted like it.

And to not be ashamed of how some of my brothers treat others, or think them less than, would be ideal.

I don't want to promote standing up to bullies and judgmental people nearly as much as I want to promote peace, and the unnecessarity of being judgmental at all.

Until we all arrive here though, it is the responsibility of the few to stand against the many of whom would divide us.

Please share your love and your laughter with the world around you. At large, and small, kindnesses accomplish more in one second than hate would for us in a lifetime.

Until next week; does this sound familiar to you? At all?

"[And mention] when the angels said, "O Mary, indeed Allah gives you good tidings of a word from Him, whose name will be the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary - distinguished in this world and the Hereafter and among those brought near [to Allah ].

He will speak to the people in the cradle and in maturity and will be of the righteous."

She said, "My Lord, how will I have a child when no man has touched me?" [The angel] said, "Such is Allah ; He creates what He wills. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, 'Be,' and it is.

And He will teach him writing and wisdom and the Torah and the Gospel

And [make him] a messenger to the Children of Israel, [who will say], 'Indeed I have come to you with a sign from your Lord in that I design for you from clay [that which is] like the form of a bird, then I breathe into it and it becomes a bird by permission of Allah . And I cure the blind and the leper, and I give life to the dead - by permission of Allah . And I inform you of what you eat and what you store in your houses. Indeed in that is a sign for you, if you are believers." - Imran 3:45-49 (Quran)

[kick-a-long]

I don't mean to be insulting, angry or rude to goyim that are as flabbergasted by the claim, "Chirstopher Columbus is Jewish by DNA" as I am, but it's happening right now and it's making goyim look stupid as fuck.

When i google "chistopher columbus jewish" this is what comes up as of oct 15 2024:

so you can see that rueters, the forward, the independent, fox news, and yahoo are the first pages I get and all say, mostly explicitly (except for the forward...maybe) "secretly jewish." most news when you look at the full list of articles say the exact same "secret jew" take.

here's cnn:

sephardic jews btw, are of Spanish decent. to say "Western Europe" is a pretty fucking disingenuous and skewed way to say that. Actual Saphardic jews escaped the Spanish Inquisition (the one where Spain expelled or killed ALL jews, burnt jews to death, stole ALL property and belongings, and even killed the ones that converted.)

ALL jews who are sephardic escaped Spain, mostly to South America... because they spoke Spanish and ladino (a mix of Hebrew and Spanish.) but the term 'western europe' preserves the "all jews are global oppressors" myth. pretty neat trick imo.

so like, the very very catholic guy, the one famous for representing catholic origins in America, the one who got a special holiday in the US because he was a symbol for Catholics (look up the knights of columbus,) the one that just lost his annual day in America for being a genocidal dick head (who's prime directive was to find new lands with resources to plunder and "savages" to convert to christianity (Catholicism specifically which is why so many countries in South America are HEAVILY CATHOLIC,)....

is SUDDENLY not even christian, despite all evidence to the contrary... he's jewish! A jew is a jew is a jew if they have a drop of jewish blood? DNA is what determines his religion? nazi eugenics logic you say? oh my!

Not all goyim are stupid, some of my best friends and husbands are goyim (obvious proof that I can't be racist against gentiles /s) but there is a concerted media effort to paint jews as the genocide colonizer bad guys throughout history. You would have to be a willful moron to think the ol' CC was jewish. Yet the press is uncritically regurgitating this shit everywhere.

Is being catholic provable by DNA by the way? I forgot to ask, because I know it isn't. You know why I, a secular jew, knows so much about christianity and its conversion process? Because it's EVERYWHERE I LOOK. From commercials on tv to billboards to nut-jobs in the subway yelling at me to convert at 3am while I'm crying alone about a breakup.

Why don't goyim know how jews identify themselves and what is a jew vs a non-jew? Because you would have to find a jew and ask them. You can't be a christian jew, or a muslim jew, a "jew for jesus," or any non-jewish religion jew. being jewish is exclusive to Judaism and secular jewish/culturally jewish and you lose it when you convert out of Judaism or into a religion where the jewish god is not THE ONE AND ONLY god. This is a pretty HUGE part of being muslim or christian, actually.

in answer to question 1: the media is making most goyim look PRETTY FUCKING stupid.

in answer to question 2: yes the goyim are always in the room with us, at least if most forms of media is playing.

don't believe me? find a jew that has never heard about christ before.

goyim: ummmmm “ethnically jewish”????? being jewish is LITERALLY just a religion omg it’s disgustingly racist for u to say that being jewish has anything to do with BLOOD or DNA judaism is a RELIGION and NOTHING MORE you ZIONAZI.

also goyim: CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS WAS JEWISH!!!!! THIS EXTREMELY UNRELIABLE MYTH THAT HAS BEEN DEBUNKED MANY TIMES SAYS HE HAD JEWISH DNA!!!!!! THE ULTIMATE COLONIZER WAS A JEW!!!!!!!!