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justagirlwholikesadam · 2 years ago

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Saudade

Summary: Leia called someone through the force during a fight with the First Order. She knew Rey and Ben who came back to the light side with the help of Rey would need the extra help. That's what her twin brother Luke, had told her before his death.

Finding out who it is would Ben accept the fact that the person who his mother had called was his lost love who he left behind the night he became Kylo Ren. The person he spent seven years trying to find. Ben wasn't the only one who turned to the dark side. Ben Solo x OC

Chapter Four

It was the sound of beeping that woke her up.

She slowly opened her eyes to see the window of her craft cracked, groaning as she felt her head pounding. She looked around and let out a gasp when she noticed she had crashed while trying to follow Ben.

"Ben" she whispered to herself.

Opening up the X-wing, she unstrap the seat belt and jumped out of the craft. She shivered as the cool air of the night rushed through her. Rubbing her bare arms while looking around she turned around to her craft. She looked at the gps screen and cursed under her breath as the screen was blank and shattered. It was broken. She couldn't contact anyone or even find out where she had crashed.

She grabbed her lightsaber from her belt and ignited it. It was getting darker as every minute passed. The two moons up in the dark sky gave her little light. The yellow lightsaber came to life letting her see her surroundings. She walked through the forest. The thin leafless branches looked like it was trying to reach for her. She looked down and saw snow beneath her.

'No wonder it's so cold.' she thought to herself. She froze when a harsh wind flew at her.

She took a deep breath when she saw her breath in the air. She knew she had to find shelter quickly if not she would freeze to death. She walked away from the craft slowly looking around. She knew she had to be alert, she didn't know where she was or what's ahead. She ignored the pain as the cold air has started to get to her. She brought her hand to her forehand trying to ease some of the pain. Her eyes widen at the sight of blood on her hand.

She took another deep breath and stood her ground. She made the decision to walk further.

She walked with her lightsaber in one hand. The weapon hummed in her hand.

She gasped when she saw something run ahead from her. The dark figure hid behind the large trees. Shivering, she raised her lightsaber towards the tree.

"Who's there?" She yelled out.

"Ben." She quietly called out when she didn't hear a response.

Still no response she continued to walk. Unaware of the man behind her. He stared at her for a moment before following her again. He frowned at her the state she was in. He could see the blood stains on her brown Jedi clothes. Her bare arms were red from the cold weather. Her face was almost turning the same color as her hair. He felt that she was sad. Alone. The only light near her was her yellow saber.

"Come out." She yelled. He took a step back when she spoke. She couldn't shake the feeling that someone was following her.

"I feel your presence." Lilian said looking behind her shoulder then ahead.

'She is strong with the force.' The man smiled to himself. He walked out from behind the trees and saw she immediately raised her saber at him at the sight of him.

Lilian frowned as a blonde man came out of the dark and stared at her. He was handsome, skin was pale like the snow that had just fallen. His blonde hair stopped by his shoulders. His blue eyes stared harshly at her. He wore black robes along with a dark cloak.

"Hello, child." The man's voice was smooth.

"Who are you?" She asked as he walked towards her.

"Who are you?" He asked, raising a brow as he stood in front of the tip of her saber. She pressed her lips in a thin lip. He wasn't afraid. He stood in front of her weapon like it was nothing.

"Well?" He asked.

"Lilian." The man nodded at her as he looked up and down at her.

Lilian walked backwards from him, giving him some distance. He was glad to see she was following his moves as he walked around. She was being alert. Guarded.

'Smart.' He told himself as Lilian stared at him. He could see she was about to collapse. The cold had finally gotten to her and he knew the crash had hurt her arm. Her arm shook as she held the saber with one hand.

"Are you lost, child? Trying to find someone?" He said and grinned as Lilian's eyes widened.

He knew why she was here. He just wanted to see what would be her response.

"I'm searching for a person. His name is Ben." Lilian said as she turned off her saber. The man looked at her and he could see her chin trembling. Tears were welling up in her eyes.

"Where am I?" Lilian asked.

"On Hoth. Just the outer rim, though." He said looking around then ahead. He could see the snow was about to fall again.

"If you went further, you would have died. There's nothing out there. The trees die out here." Lilian followed his graze behind her. She didn't notice that the trees stopped at the spot they were at. Ahead was completely dark, she could see the snow was starting to fall ahead.

"Have you seen someone come through here? I'm looking for my friend." She looked at him.

"It's important. He's hurt. I have to find him."

'Weak.' He mumbled to himself and raised his hand out towards her.

"Sleep." He said loudly and Lilian came crashing down to the ground.

He looked down at her weapon and used the force to bring her saber to him. He looked at the silver and gold weapon. He clipped it on his belt next to his. He walked towards Lilian, crouching down to her staring at her for a moment.

"You look just like her." He said running a finger down her cheek. He picked Lilian up in his arms and walked in the dark.

Making his way inside his craft hidden behind the mountains. He allows the medical droids to mends her wounds. He watches behind the window as the droids worked on her.

"Sir, do we change her?" A droid asked making its way to the man.

"Yes, burn those filthy Jedi clothes." The man said not taking his eyes from her. The man walked away when the droids started to cut her clothes.

-&-

He stood in front of her and raised a hand towards her.

"Wake up." He said walking away to a leather chair far cross the bed.

Lilian opened her eyes and quickly sat. She found herself in a bed. She looked around and saw she was inside of a room.

"I see you are awake, child." Lilian looked ahead and saw the man sitting near a fireplace. She looked down at herself and saw she was wearing a black nightgown. She immediately covered her self with her arms.

"Did you.."

"No. The droids did." He said as he crossed his legs over and leaned back on the leather chair.

"Who are you?"

Lilian asked as she got out of the bed and walked towards him. The man pointed at the chair near him.

Lilian frowned at him.

"I'll tell you who I am but sit down. You fainted when we met. I don't want you fainting again."

Lilian looked at him, she doesn't remember fainting. She just remembered the man raising his head and then blank.

She sat down with a sigh. He smiled.

"I'm Mercury, child. I'm here to be your master."

"Master?"

"Yes, you will be my apprentice." Lilian's eyes widened at him.

"I already have one. Master Skywalker. I am his Padawan." She told him.

"Where is he, then? Mmm...he hasn't come to find you. You've been asleep for days, child. No one has come looking for you." He said looking at her wondering if she knew he was lying about the days. Lilian looked at him in shocked.

'It couldn't be.' she thought to herself. She felt something off with him. Something she felt before.

He was a sith.

"I'm offering you a chance, child. A chance to be stronger. To be wiser. To have everything you want." Lilian stood you quickly making him glare at her.

"Never. I sense the dark in you." Lilian said looking around for a way out.

"Hey!" The man yelled causing her to jump as he stood up. She looked up as he walked towards her. She was frozen in place. The man looked down at her and bit his bottom lip.

"Lillian, I know why you crashed. Trying to find your boyfriend, Ben Solo." He said as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I read your mind while you were passed out." He says to her. Lilian finches when he brings his hand to her cheek. His fingers were icy cold.

"I saw everything. I know who you are, child. The granddaughter of the Jedi knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are so strong. You just need a teacher."

"I have one already." She told him.

"Luke is weak. He tried to kill his nephew. That's what Ben showed you before he left you."

"Left you. Left you like trash." Lilian looked away at his words.

"Used you." He said as he brought his hand down to her neck. He smiled to himself as he saw her flushed reaction.

"Get your hand off of me." He grins at her as she snaps at him.

He kept remembering what he saw in her mind. He saw Lilian with Ben. She was riding him, he can hear Ben moaning as Lilian rode his cock slowly. He sees her bringing Ben's hand to her neck and tells him to choke her.

"You like it though." He said and Lilian's slaps his hand away. He walks away just a couple of feet.

"What else did you see?" She asked.

"Everything. Your life. Your childhood. The temple burning to the ground. I also saw your future. You were destined for great things. You just need the right teacher. All you have to do is join me. Come to the dark side and I will show how to fully possess the force."

"Never." Lilian spitted out to him causing him to sigh.

"What do you have left?" He asked her as he shrugged his shoulders.

"You have no family. Your parents are dead. You're alone."

"I'm not." Lilian answered him.

"Yes, you are because the moment Leia and Han find out that their son is missing they will accuse you. I mean, come on..."He said pointing a finger at her.

Lilian frowned at his words. Leia asked Lilian to watch over him before she left with Ben with Luke.

"You were supposed to look out for him. They will hate you, child. They would want nothing to do with you. I mean, think about it. It wasn't hard for Ben to leave you. He left you behind in the mess he made. He left you behind with all those dead bodies." He said as tears rose from her eyes. Lilian stared at the ground as Mercury spoke.

"Ben doesn't love you." He said walking towards her and lifting her chin to look at him.

"If he did, why would he leave you?" He questioned looking deep into her eyes.

"Let me show you the way. The darkness isn't such a bad thing, child." He told her as he caressed her wet cheek with his thumb.

"He left." She stated, making him nod.

"He did. Left you aside like you were nothing. I saw it here." He said tapping her forehead.

"I saw how you got on your knees and begged for him to stay." He whispered as he wiped her tears off her face.

"Leave me alone, Lilian. He said to you." Mercury repeated the words Ben told her. He took her hand and led her back to the seat.

"Let me teach you, child. Let me show the dark side. Never have to be alone. Never have to be afraid. You will be strong. You will be wise. You will learn how to survive."

Mercury gently pushed Lilian down to the chair and kneel in front of her. He placed his hand on her knees and looked at her.

"I know you felt the dark in you one time." Lilian shook her head and looked away.

"Don't lie to yourself. You went in the dark for a moment and you liked it. Luke saw it. The boy you almost killed saw it too."

"I didn't mean it. I didn't want to. I just got so mad." Lilian said looking down at her lap.

"Andrew was so mean to me. We were training and he said hurtful things to me. I never told Ben. Luke made me keep it a secret." Lillian said. She froze when Mercury grabbed her hands. She looked up at him.

"I almost killed him. Luke yelled at me. I had never seen him so mad before." She mumbled.

"You liked it though? The power?" Lilian stood silent at his question and he grinned.

"It's ok to like it. To feel powerful. Not to feel so weak." He said.

"You are just a whore. Ben's whore." The brunette haired boy whispered to Lillian as he walked towards her. Lilian looked over her shoulder and saw Luke a few feet away talking to his other students.

"I heard your parents killed themselves because they didn't want you. No one wants you. Ben only wants you to warm up his bed. He's another freak just like you." Andrew said, igniting his saber with a grin. The blue saber waved in front of Andrew.

"Shut up." Lilian said with a frown as she gripped her saber in her hand.

"Freak. Whore and freak. Good thing mommy and daddy are dead." He whispered harshly as Luke made his way to them.

"Lilian and Andrew, you may begin." Luke said with a nod. Andrew grinned as he waved his saber in his hand and aimed at Lilian. Lighting her own weapon she aimed at him. Just as Andrew was about to strike. Lilian slammed her own weapon against him. He backed away, shocked at her strength. Before she knew it Andrew was choking. He dropped down on his knees, gasping for air.

"LILLIAN!" Luke yelled as Andrew's face turned red.

"It's ok." Mercury said, wiping her tears.

"Join me, child. Join me and I'll show what you are truly capable of."

"What about Ben?" She asked.

"Ben is nothing now. He left you." Lilian looked at him and nodded.

After a few months since meeting with Mercury. Lilian trained with him. He showed her the path of the darkness and she welcomed it. She noticed the difference between his teaching and Luke's teaching.

Mercury was brutal. There were days when Lilian couldn't get up from bed because of the bruising. She would end up with a black eye or a bruised rib. Not only was he teaching about the force but he taught her how to fight.

He taught her about surviving. He showed her things that she thought she would never do. When Lilian presented Mercury with her new saber, he praised her.

"Child, I am truly happy with your progress." Lilian smiled up at her master.

"I sense confidence. I sense no regret. I'm proud of you." He told her looking down at her as their craft landed.

"Now. I must ask you this." He tells her as they walk down the ramp to an open field.

"Yes, master?" She follows him.

He had taken her to a different planet. They stared at the green field. The mountain stood out in the background. Mercury looked over his shoulder as he stared at her.

"If I take you on a mission will you follow my every order? Even if it may seem crazy?" Lilian raised her brows at him.

"Lilian, did you know the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural?" He asked with a soft voice. Repeating the same question his master asked him once many years ago.

"I heard tales of it before." She answered him.

He nods at her. "This mission will show you that. I just need you to trust me and do everything I say. Can you do that?"

Lilian stared at the man before her. For the first time Mercury was being soft. His blue eyes stared her, it made her feel some type of way.

Lilian had started to look up at him as a fatherly figure these past few months. Mercury slowly looked away from her.

"What made you become a sith?"

Mercury looked up from his book and looked at Lilian. Training had just finished and they were sitting near the fireplace. They stayed in an underground safe house on Hoth.

Lilian had a blanket over her shoulder as she sat on the chair across from him. Mercury shut his book and placed it on the coffee table near him.

"My father was one and his father before him. Then I became one.

"Did your father train you?" Lilian asked.

Mercury stared at her as she spoke. He looked at the nasty cut on her lip. He couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed. They were training, doing hand to hand combat. He had used the force on her and hit her. He was surprised when she got up and raised her hands into a fighting position.

"No, my father died when I was a child. He was killed."

"What?!" Lilian asked.

"Is the person who killed him still alive?" She asked him quickly. He was a bit shocked at her reaction.

"I'm afraid so." He responded to her as he saw her up from her chair. She let the wool blanket drop to the floor as she stood in front of him.

"Why don't we find this person and kill them, Master?"

Mercury smiled at her question. He brings his hand to his mouth to cover his smile. She was naïve and hopeful.

"I'm strong enough now. I can help you." She told him kneeling in front of him. The crackling wood of the fireplace was the only thing heard. He stood silent. Thinking about it even though he knew it wasn't possible.

"You would help me? You will kill someone for me?" Mercury asked softly as he placed his hands on his lap.

'You look just like her. So beautiful. So strong.' He thinks to himself as he stares at Lilian. He feels his chest tighten at her smile.

'Just like her, Lilian.' He wanted to tell her. Tell her everything but he knew he had a job to do.

"Of course, I will." She told him.

"I am forever in your debt, Master. You found me when I was alone. You found me when I was left alone by someone who I thought loved me. If you haven't found me and take me under your wing. I would have been dead." Mercury let out a sinister smile as he stared at the scenery in front of him.

"I will follow your order." Mercury let his smile drop as he turned towards her.

"Good. Now shall we?" He said, tilting his head to the side making her smile.

"Yes."

She brings her saber in front of her and ignites it. The double bladed red saber roared to life.

Mercury grinned then he took his own saber out in front of her.

#ben solo #ben solo x oc #ben solo fanfic #sith #oc #crying #jedi #jedi school #blood #violence #hes a bad man #master and padawan #kylo ren #luke skywalker #jedi temple

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davidkeane17 · 2 years ago

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#new jedi order fanart #padawan fanart #ben solo fanart #star wars fanart

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fanfictasia · 1 year ago

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Shadows of Tomorrow Chapter 100: Epilogue, a star wars fanfic | FanFiction

Shadows of Tomorrow - Epilogue - Wattpad

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david-talks-sw · 3 months ago

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Debunking myths in the GFFA: Luke Skywalker isn't the One True Jedi™ and doesn't "reject the Jedi teachings."

The myth:

Luke's Jedi mentors - trained to be dispassionate and mission-driven - callously tell him to let his friends die in service of a greater cause.

"In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke becomes Yoda's Padawan, and there are echoes of Anakin's training and the dilemmas he faced. Like Anakin, Luke is told he is too old to begin the training. Like Anakin, he has a vision of his loved ones suffering in captivity, and receives cold advice from Yoda, who tells him to sacrifice Han and Leia if he honors what they fight for." - Jason Fry, “Family Tradition; Rejecting the Jedi Teachings” Star Wars Insider #130, 2012

The intended narrative:

The Jedi are actually right on all points. Luke isn't ready or fully trained and he's arrogantly letting his emotions rule him and rushing into danger. By ignoring them, Luke gets himself into a spot of trouble that actually jeopardizes the lives of the very friends he tried to help, as they now need to rescue him.

“It’s pivotal that Luke doesn’t have patience. He doesn’t want to finish his training. He’s being succumbed by his emotional feelings for his friends rather than the practical feelings of “I’ve got to get this job done before I can actually save them. I can’t save them, really.” But he sort of takes the easy route, the arrogant route, the emotional but least practical route, which is to say, “I’m just going to go off and do this without thinking too much.” And the result is that he fails and doesn’t do well for Han Solo or himself.”

“Luke is making a critical mistake in his life of going after- to try to save his friends when he’s not ready. There’s a lot being taught here about patience and about waiting for the right moment to do whatever you’re going to do.”

“Luke is in the process of going into an extremely dangerous situation out of his compassion— Without the proper training, without the proper thought, without the proper foresight to figure out how he’s gonna get out of it. His impulses are right, but his methodology is wrong.”

The myth:

The Jedi want Luke to repress his feelings and kill his father, to destroy the Sith, their religious enemies. As emotionally-detached Jedi, it is inconceivable that a Sith would come back from the Dark Side, and thus wrongly believe that the only solution is to kill Vader.

"It's easy to miss that Luke disagrees sharply with his Jedi teachers about what to do. Obi-Wan and Yoda have trained Luke and push him toward a second confrontation with Vader. He is, they believe, the Jedi weapon that will destroy both Vader and the Emperor. When Luke insists there is still good in Vader, Obi-Wan retorts that "he's more machine than man-twisted and evil." When Luke says he can't kill his own father, Obi-Wan despairs, "Then the Emperor has already won." But Obi-Wan could not be more wrong. It is precisely because Luke can't kill his own father that he defeats the Sith." - Jason Fry, Star Wars Insider #130, 2012

The intended narrative:

The Jedi never tell Luke to "kill" his father. That's just a fact.

They tell him to "confront" and "face" him.

Their bottom line is that Vader and the Emperor need to be stopped.

If Luke can manage to do so without killing his father, that's great.

"In Jedi the film is really about the redemption of this fallen angel. Ben is the fitting good angel, and Vader is the bad angel who started off good. All these years Ben has been waiting for Luke to come of age so that he can become a Jedi and redeem his father. That's what Ben has been doing, but you don't know this in the first film." - Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays, 1998

(credit to @writerbuddha for finding the above quote)

The problem is: Darth Vader has a track record of murdering loved ones who refuse to kill him. Be it his wife...

... his father/brother...

... and if you're going by Canon, his little sister.

As such, there's a very strong chance that Vader might do the same to his son as well.

“A Jedi can’t kill for the sake of killing. The mission isn’t for Luke to go out and kill his father and get rid of him. The issue is, if he confronts his father again, he may, in defending himself, have to kill him, because his father will try to kill him.” - 1981 story conference, from The Making of Return of the Jedi

Now, as the last Jedi left, the fate of the galaxy rests entirely on Luke's shoulders.

If he dies, then the galaxy and its billions of inhabitants are doomed to live in a tyrannical dictatorship forever.

“He knows a confrontation is brewing between Luke and his father. Ben hopes Luke will either save his father or kill him, because whatever extra powers Luke's got in his lineage, he is the one person that can probably fight his father and win.” - The Star Wars Archives: 1977-1983, 2018

There's a time for talking things through... and a time to do your duty. Above all else, a Jedi's duty is to end conflict.

Obi-Wan was once tasked with this same duty.

And while he managed to weaken Vader considerably (thus avoiding the catastrophe of a full-powered Vader being unleashed onto the galaxy)... because of his attachment, he failed to kill Vader.

Twice, if you include the Kenobi show.

(A show which, per Pablo Hidalgo, is one of George Lucas' favorite recent Star Wars projects, a tidbit that doesn't surprise me one bit considering how much the series perfectly aligns with what Lucas said about Star Wars (see here, here and here))

Point being: because Ben failed his duty, the galaxy suffered for it.

Luke is now in danger of doing the same.

If he's unable to end the conflict in a peaceful way, then Luke needs to be ready to do so in a more permanent manner. Because while Luke has qualms about killing his father, there's a very big chance that the feeling won't be mutual.

So Luke isn't rejecting his teachers' orders to kill Vader. He's saying he's unable to confront Vader altogether, because he'll be half-assing the task. In the (very likely) worst case scenario where reasoning with Vader fails, Luke is concerned he won't be able to follow-through and do what he must.

Further, there's also a worse outcome to Luke dying: Luke joining the Dark Side and becoming yet another asset of the Emperor, more dangerous than Vader himself.

It's thus essential that Luke steel himself and mask his emotions, because the Emperor is a master manipulator who'll likely attempt to corrupt Luke via the strong emotions he has for his friends.

Obi-Wan is not telling Luke to repress his emotions. On the contrary, he acknowledges that these feelings do Luke credit. But the fact remains that when your opponent can jiu-jitsu those feelings against you and your friends, you need to keep a poker face.

And judging by how close the Sith Lords come to seducing Luke to the Dark Side...

... that advice is completely on point.

The myth:

"It isn't Jedi teachings that save the galaxy, but bonds the Jedi tried to forbid - such as the love of a father for his son, and a son for his father. Emotional attachments, in other words." - Jason Fry, Star Wars Insider #130, 2012

The intended narrative:

In Return of the Jedi, Luke isn't doing anything different than what other Jedi have done.

He does his best to avoid lethal force unless he deems that it is necessary (see his fight against Jabba's hostile forces).

He sacrifices himself for the greater good and let himself be captured, in order to allow the mission to be carried out.

He tries to reason with his enemy, hoping to avoid conflict.

He spares his enemy, showing mercy.

That's all standard Jedi stuff. We've seen other Jedi do all those things, both in the films and The Clone Wars.

If that isn't enough, just look at how Lucas describes what Jedi normally do (left), versus what Luke does in Return of the Jedi (right):

See what I mean? There’s pretty much no difference.

In Lucas' narrative, Luke isn’t “better than” or “rejecting the teachings” of the Jedi who came before him. He’s following the Jedi path. And he's really good at doing so.

Because this idea that Luke "rejects the teachings" makes no sense! They're Lucas' teachings. He agrees with the Jedi, they're the mouthpieces he uses to deliver the audience his own values.

Lucas having his main character do something he'd ideologically disagree with is something that doesn't make sense.

And part of this confusion comes from a misunderstanding of the word "attachment", in Star Wars.

It doesn't mean "emotional attachments" or "feelings" or "affection." It comes from the Buddhist principle of non-attachment.

It's not about depriving yourself of relationships or affection, it's about accepting that everything comes and goes and letting go of those very things you hold on to, when the time comes.

Lucas makes a distinction in his discourse between attachment and compassion.

"The whole idea of the movie, ultimately is that you have the Light Side and the Dark Side. The Light Side is compassion, which means you care about other people. The Dark Side is you care only about yourself. And you are obsessed with yourself. Getting your pleasure and getting all your stuff. The other one, you give it to everybody. You give goodness and health to everybody else. So the issue of love... there’s a line between loving somebody compassionately and caring about them and helping them. But the other line is not to be greedy or... once you are greedy then you get fearful. You don’t want to lose what it is you have that you are getting. So you have to learn to give up everything. And ultimately for a Jedi Knight, it’s very easy to give up." - Celebration V, Main Event, 2010

In-universe, this is something Anakin knew the theory of, but never really applied all that much.

Luke on the other hand, was able to learn the lesson and apply it.

Speaking in Lucas lingo, it's not Luke's attachment that makes him spare Vader. It's his compassion. And in turn, that compassion inspires Vader to do the same.

"It really has to do with learning. Children teach you compassion. They teach you to love unconditionally. Anakin can’t be redeemed for all the pain and suffering he’s caused. He doesn’t right the wrongs, but he stops the horror. The end of the Saga is simply Anakin saying, ‘I care about this person, regardless of what it means to me. I will throw away everything that I have, everything that I have grown to love - primarily the Emperor - and throw away my life, to save this person. And I’m doing this because he has faith in me, loves me despite all the horrible things I’ve done. I broke his mother’s heart, but he still cares about me, and I can’t let that die.’" - The Making of Revenge of The Sith; page 221

Or, to put things more simply:

Attachment (selfish love), is what makes Anakin do this:

Compassion (selfless love), is what makes Luke do this:

Now, could Lucas have made his narrative more explicit, to avoid confusion? Maybe.

But I think it's also fair to point the finger at the biggest cause of these muddied waters:

Simply put, the Expanded Universe (the Star Wars books, novels and games that spun out of the films) established new lore elements that didn't necessarily align with Lucas' vision of things. Namely:

Jedi can get married, and Luke marries Mara Jade.

Jedi can begin their training as adults, and Luke takes on many apprentices that are already adults.

When considering George's minimal involvement in the development of EU stories, it's easy to see why these plot points were allowed to come through.

But when he made the Prequels, his headcanons came to light and the above plot points needed to be retconned.

George Lucas' narrative:

"Nope. You can't be a Jedi and be married."

This isn't actually coming out of left field.

When Timothy Zahn asked for Luke and Mara to be married or engaged, back in 1993, Lucasfilm initially vetoed the idea.

And over the years, Lucas and other Lucasfilm employees have made it it clear that "Luke getting married" did not align with his vision (so much so that it's a plot point in Attack of the Clones).

So the question becomes: why can't Jedi get married?

It's about commitment.

Simply put: you can't have two marriages. Eventually, your commitment to one of them will falter and you'll ruin them both. A Jedi is already married to the cause and to the Order.

If they want to get married, they have to leave the Jedi.

"One of the things [the Jedi] give up is marriage. They can still love people. But they can’t possess them. They can’t own them. They can’t demand that they do things. They have to be able to accept the fact, one, their mortality, that they are going to die. And not worry about it. That the loved ones they have, everything they love is going to die and they can’t do anything about it. I mean they can protect them as you would ordinarily protect, you know, ‘Get out of the way of that car.’ Somebody charges you with a gun, you knock the gun out, but there is an inevitability to life which is death and you have to accept that." - Celebration V, Main Event, 2010

And this is another example, really, of how Lucas' own values and past experiences shape the Jedi's teachings.

Marcia Lucas divorced George because he was constantly working on Star Wars, even when he wasn't directing it, which she said led to an emotional blockage in their marriage...

... and this leads us to the reason why George didn't double-down on the success of the Original Trilogy: he decided to take time off to raise his three kids as a single Dad.

He learned his lesson, reasoned that he wouldn't be able to be both a good, present father and a successful blockbuster film director.

When you're dealing with time-consuming commitments of this scale, you need to make a choice, or you'll end up (half-assing and thus ruining) both of them.

"Nope. Jedi get taken in as babies for a reason."

Once again, this has to do with Lucas' definition of "attachment."

"Jedi Knights get taken from their families very young. They do not grow attachments, because attachment is a path to the Dark Side. You can love people, but you can't want to possess them. They're not yours. Accept that they have a fate. Even those you love most are going to die. You can't do anything about that. Protect them with your lightsaber, but if they die they were going to die. There's nothing you can do. All you can do is accept that fact. In mythology, if you go to Hades to get them back, you're not doing it for them, you're doing it for yourself. You're doing it because you don't want to give them up. You're afraid to be without them. The key to the Dark Side is fear. You must be clean of fear, and fear of loss is the greatest fear. If you're set up for fear of loss, you will do anything to keep that loss from happening, and you're going to end up in the Dark Side. That's the basic premise of Star Wars and the Jedi, and how it works. That's why they're taken at a young age to be trained. They cannot get themselves killed trying to save their best buddy when it's a hopeless exercise." - The Star Wars Archives: 1977-1983, 2018

Jedi need to maintain objectivity and neutrality, in their day-to-day lives of mediating peace between planets.

And learning to "let go of your attachments when the time comes" is part of that training. But it is something that takes discipline and time, and thus the child needs to be young enough to develop this skill. Otherwise, they end up like Anakin, who always struggled to properly learn it and eventually was doomed by his greed.

This being part of Lucas narrative is also evidenced that in his earlier plans for the Sequel trilogy, he'd have Luke train children, not adults like he does in the EU.

"Luke is trying to restart the Jedi. He puts the word out, so out of 100,000 Jedi, maybe 50 or 100 are left. The Jedi have to grow again from scratch, so Luke has to find two- and three-year-olds, and train them. It’ll be 20 years before you have a new generation of Jedi." The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020

The EU's retcons of Lucas' narrative:

Now, obviously, the addition of all these rules and other elements such as midi-chlorians... it does something to the older audience. They grew up on the Original Trilogy, dreaming they could be a Jedi too if they just believed enough. Now that bubble is burst.

"Wait, if I'm a Jedi I can't get married?! And I need to be taken in as a toddler, with a certain kind of blood score?! That's bullshit!"

More importantly... it goes against about a decade's worth of established EU lore (which Lucas never factored into his storytelling)!

So what does Lucasfilm Licensing do? They go with it.

They take these "weird" rules the older audience and authors don't like, and retcon a new narrative around them to ensure both the books and the new films all stay canon within the EU own continuity.

George Lucas revealed new information about his universe in Episode II that ran counter to earlier stories of the Expanded Universe. Among the surprises: the Jedi Order is monastic, with love and marriage forbidden to its members. This would necessitate reforms to the Jedi Code over time to separate the ancient era when Nomi Sunrider was married to a Jedi, seen in the Tales of the Jedi (1993–94) comics, as well as the post-Empire era when Luke Skywalker married Mara Jade in the comic series Union (1999–2000). LucasBooks also needed to create plausible exceptions for Ki-Adi-Mundi, a Jedi Master who had multiple wives in the Prelude to Rebellion comics (1999). - Pablo Hidalgo, The Essential Reader’s Companion, 2012

When it comes to Luke specifically, the narrative becomes:

"Uh... y-yes. The old Jedi Order forbid marriage, only took in toddlers and had a blood pre-requisite... which was weird, wrong, too detached, too systemic, and part of why their Order failed! But, uh, Luke's New Jedi Order allows marriage, unlike his dogmatic predecessors, because anyone can be a Jedi guys!" Hahaha! (fuck's sake George)

But as already explained above: those new rules aren't meant to be perceived negatively. It would make no sense if they were, they're based on Lucas' own values.

You know what it does do, though?

It cements the narrative that Luke is the One True Jedi™, who rejected the dogmatic teachings to forge a new path forward.

That's not the intended narrative of the Original Trilogy, nor the six-film saga as a whole.

If you've made it this far in the post (congratulations) and are interested to read another all-encompassing post about that, you can check out the link below :)

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io-lu-art · 11 months ago

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I know we all want redeemed Ben Solo to look and dress like his father at some point. But- ok, hear me out: There hAs to be sOme Lando spirit in there, SOMEWHERE. Like, come on, the CAPE? Are you telling me that Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa, grandson of fashion Queen Amidala, former Jedi padawan and Supreme Fashion Leader himself wouldn't fancy a cape at all? I don't believe u.

Lemme explain.

high waisted Lando pants but put inside the boots.

Shorter cape. Kinda like Lando's in Solo.

High belt, cause it looks good on him and he knows it.

Dark grey. Mid grey. With a bit of off white. (I believe this is self explanatory.)

Later in life, as he grows older, maybe he will start adding some colour to his clothes.

I'm still not decided on my definitive headcanon. The one on the right is still very close to Luke in RotJ despite the grey and higher belt, but I kinda like it? Just cause it looks more elegant. I mean, sure, you could give him a blaster (I... probably will, at some point), depending on where the stories go and how you write him as Ben. I gave him two lightsabers, because, well- I will explain that when my fanfiction is finished. Or maybe I'll abandon the idea till then. :') (Yes, yes they would be white.) Gotta see if it serves the story well or if it's just my old love for young Ahsoka's yellow shoto lightsaber blinding me.

Jeez, there are so many directions you could take this character. Jedi, pilot, smuggler, gambler, senator... there's no end to this. I've seen so much Jedi Ben Solo fanart and I love all of them. I love the robes so much that I went and made some shape exploration with them.

But the thing is I'm not really feeling it. If I were to take the story into a new direction, no Jedi, no Sith, just Force sensitives, a new take on this whole idea, expanding on what Rian Johnson gave us - which, I am - I would probably go away from the traditional Jedi designs. Sure, it all also kinda depends on how you colour it, I guess...

*sighs* there could have been so much to explore and discover in IX. But, eh, let's not turn this into another tros rant.

#Ben would have an entire closet of capes #just like uncle Wanwo #he needs backups; ok?#what if he accidentally cuts his cape with his lightsaber?#Oh damn it #sighs #not again #this was my finest one #work in progress #star wars sequels #art wip #ben solo #ben solo deserved better #character design #digital sketch #csp #star wars

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kowaiitenshii · 1 year ago

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[Wish We Never Met]

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Plot Summary: You haven’t seen Kylo Ren since he destroyed the Jedi academy you both called home in your youth, and you want nothing more than to forget about him. That doesn’t stop him from reaching out.

Warnings: Kidnapping. Kylo is his own warning. Angst?

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Hello again everyone! This oneshot is the product of a betrayal prompt from a good friend of mine! If this does well and people enjoy it, I will be open to prompts and requests and if the demand is high enough, I may even write a part 2 for this. Thank you so much for all the love on Sunkiller Lullaby again as well!! Please enjoy!

A perfectly clear night on Ossus, a rare meteor shower had been forecasted that night, and you didn’t dare to miss it.

You and your best friend, Ben Solo, had snuck out against your Master’s wishes to watch the shower together.

It was once in a lifetime, after all.

You couldn’t have thought of a better person to sneak out with, you’d known him since you were just ten years old; not that you had many other friends in the academy regardless.

The two of you never quite fit in with the other padawan learners, having earned reputations for being too reckless, too quick to anger, too ready for a fight. But you found solace in one another, always sparring, studying, or shirking off your responsibilities to go on some ill-advised adventure together.

As the two of you grew, as did your fondness for one another. Master Luke began separating you more and more, fearing that you would build ties too strong to sever.

Attachment, of course, was strictly forbidden.

But that did little to stop you from stealing away to see the person whom you were closest with in the entire world whenever you could.

The two of you laughed like the foolish teenagers you were as you ran through the lush green field littered with wildflowers together hand-in-hand, searching for the perfect spot to watch the show.

Cresting the top of the hill, Ben suddenly dropped to the ground, pulling you along with him as you tumbled down through the long grass. As you came to a stop, landing on top of him at the bottom of the hill, you playfully punched him in the arm.

“You really ought to be more careful Ben! We could have gotten hurt!” you scolded him, still laughing like mad.

“You know I wouldn’t let that happen!” he reassures you, laughing back at you as you shift off of him and take a seat next to him in the tall grass.

The two of you spent a long time in comfortable silence, watching the meteors shoot over your heads. It was an awe-inspiring sight, countless comets of every colour followed by their glowing tails lighting up the entire sky above. It truly was beautiful, and you were still unsure if you’ve seen such beauty since.

You spent hours just watching, enchanted by the ethereal lightshow.

That is, until you looked towards Ben, and instead of watching the beauty of the stars, he was watching you.

Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart swelled in an unfamiliar way as you looked at him, realising in that moment that he had grown up, no longer the awkward, lanky boy you knew as a child.

His eyes sparkled innocently in the dim light, reflecting the colours of the stars. His lips were pink and parted, as if to ask something that was caught just on the tip of his tongue. His long raven hair blew in the gentle breeze, tousled by your tumble down the hill.

For a split second, you envisioned running your fingers carefully through his soft locks to fix it for him before forcing yourself to look away.

Cheeks hot and heart thumping in your chest, you tried to remind yourself of the rules of the Jedi you so desperately tried to uphold. You knew attachment was wrong, and love could only serve to destroy you. And yet, the idea of a life lived without ever knowing love, that kind of love, left a hole in your heart that ached for it.

Clenching your fists so tightly your nails dug into the palms of your hands and closing your eyes, you tried your hardest to push your feelings down, to bottle them up and seal them away.

The gentle feeling of Ben carefully, almost sheepishly placing a large hand to your left cheek and turning you to face him snapped you out of your quiet rumination. The sensation of his touch was warm and tingling, spreading goosebumps across your skin like wildfire.

Your eyes met again, Ben measuring your reaction, looking hesitantly from your eyes to your lips and back again, as if he too could sense what you were feeling.

Given the tender, vulnerable expression that spread across his countenance, you knew that he could. The rough pad of his thumb ghosted over your cheekbone, your skin feeling electrified as he touched it, the energies between you rich and palpable.

“(Y/N)...” He whispered your name like a prayer.

Before he could speak again, you would take his face between your hands, crashing your lips into his in a moment of reckless abandon.

They’re soft and wet, the feeling of the kiss itself and the mixing of energies setting you both on fire.

You lose yourself in it, all teeth and tongue and burning desire, kissing him over and over again.

Ben is just about to lay you down right there, in the soft grass beneath the stars, before you force yourself to pull away. Sitting up pin straight and wiping the spit away from your lips, you were too ashamed to even look back at him.

The world goes black.

The next scene that plays is the one that has torn you apart for years.

Standing before the devastated Jedi academy you called home for nearly your entire life, you watched as it burned to ash. Tears flowed in rivers down your cheeks as you sobbed in agony of all that was lost, all because of the boy you loved.

Falling to your knees, Ben’s name tore its way out of your throat in a grief-stricken scream.

Eyes flying open, you jolt upright in bed.

You’re then hit by the same cold realisation that it was all a dream, as you are every time you have that dream. Although, you suppose it's more of a recollection than a dream.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you groan groggily as you spot the familiar silhouette of a man’s astral body across the room.

“Ugh… Go away Kylo.” you moan, already becoming annoyed.

Even if he wasn’t there physically, seeing him through the force hurt all the same.

“You know I can’t, even if I wanted to.” he replies matter-of-factly, and you know it to be true. Whatever unseen force it is that binds you to each other, neither of you could control it.

He haunts you like a ghost, torturing your very soul every time you would connect unannounced. His presence tonight is especially wounding, having been freshly reminded of the feelings you held for him despite everything.

Throwing your covers off, you annoyedly begin to stoke the small fire pit in the centre of your hut, doing your best to ignore Kylo’s dark and magnetic presence looming in the shadows.

“Where are you?” he asks abruptly, looking around the room and searching for any indicators of your location.

You roll your eyes, finally looking in his face. His eyes are locked on you as he stands in the darkness of the room, the light of the flames illuminating his features.

He’s every bit as handsome as you remember, all doe eyes and plump lips and strong nose.

He’s gotten taller, and bulkier in terms of muscle than you remember, no doubt enhanced by his new training. Your heart strings tug painfully in your chest, and you remember why you avoid looking at him when this happens.

“You know I can’t answer that.” you whisper solemnly in reply.

“Why not?” he snaps back instantly.

“You know exactly why, Kylo Ren.” you sigh in irritation, spitting his name at him as if it tastes foul. You throw another log into the fire before standing and turning around, crossing your arms and doing your best to shut him out as your anger and frustrations build.

“It would be so much easier if you would stop hiding, if you would just join me.” He continues, ignoring the vitriol in your tone and trying to coax the answer out of you.

“I’m not hiding, Kylo. You just can’t find me. There’s a difference.” you scoff back at him, vaguely pleased when you hear him let out his own irritated sigh.

You’ve been through this hundreds of times, your answers and his questions never changing. Everytime you speak to him, everytime you look at him, the void in your chest that calls to him grows wider. And with great pain every time, you deny him.

It’s torture, the purest form you could imagine.

“You called to me. In your dream. I heard it.” he asserts in a gentler tone, as if it would change anything. You dig your nails into the skin of your arms in an attempt to temper the rage bubbling up inside of you.

“I’m tired of fighting Kylo.” you sigh. “Can’t you see that? That’s why I’m here, in a hut in the fucking jungle.” you spit, an edge of hurt in your tone that you pray he doesn’t hear.

“Then why won’t you just come to me?” He tries desperately to persuade you. “I will take care of anything, everything you need. It could be so simple if you would just-” he starts on the same tirade that he starts every time you see each other.

The fresh pain of the memories, the aching of your heart at seeing him, listening to the same argument; it’s finally all too much. The dam you’ve built to withhold your emotions finally breaks, your hurt finally overflowing as you spin on your heel to face him, screaming out the truth as you cut him off.

“Because I love you, Ben! Because I love you, and you’ve destroyed everything else I’ve ever cared about! And I hate myself for it!” you bark at him through gritted teeth, hot tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to spill over.

His brow furrows in frustration and shock as he yells back at you.

“You know that isn’t the truth! I didn’t-”

Clutching the sides of your head in frustration, you continue screaming, cutting him off once more.

“Everyday I wake up and I’m forced back into the hell that is the realisation that this is my reality!” you gesture feverishly around the humble, run down hut in which you both stand, then between the two of you. “This is my reality, and I will never forgive you for it Ben.” your voice breaks, your anger spent and only leaving you with aching despair as the tears finally begin to fall.

“I loved you, I really loved you.” you choke out between cries, the growing lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

For once he’s silent, saying nothing as he looks upon you with widened eyes.

He’s visibly taken aback, and the realisation finally hits you that you just admitted your love to him, and that you hadn’t called him by his name, his true name, since the incident that ripped you away from each other.

He turns away from you, hiding the tears welling in his own eyes.

“I don’t need your forgiveness.” he whispers, and you take one last look at him before he promptly vanishes.

Left alone in the crippling emptiness of the hut you call home, you fall to your knees under the crippling weight of your sorrow, wracked with anguished sobs.

Elsewhere in the galaxy, Kylo Ren wipes the stray tears from his face and steels his nerves, before throwing on his cloak and helmet.

He could feel your presence even more acutely in the force now, the bond strengthened by your heated confession. It was certainly not one he had expected, but he had no doubt now that he would track you down.

All he would have to do is follow your signature.

Your words were all the confirmation he needed as he stormed out of his personal quarters to gather a fleet, barking the orders to gather his knights at a commanding officer.

If you refused to give yourself willingly to him, he would just have to take you.

The next morning, you awaken suddenly to the sound of Stormtroopers blowing the door clean off of your hut.

In an instant you leap to your feet, ready to defend yourself from any danger. Time moves in slow motion as you look out the door, the mass of troopers, fronted by the Knights of Ren parting like the fabled red sea.

Blood running cold, your heart drops to your feet as you lay eyes upon their leader who moves to the forefront, Kylo Ren.

You’re stricken with the awful, ice-cold revelation that he had used your bond in the force against you.

It lead him right to you.

Frantically turning to reach for a weapon, you’re cut short as a blaster hits you with a stun ray, rendering you unconscious.

Your body falling to the floor with a soft thud, Kylo Ren strides over to where your body lay crumpled, just within the doorway, sighing regretfully. Crouching over you, he frowns as he softly brushes a lock of hair out of your face.

“It could have been so much easier.” he whispers like an apology, before carefully scooping you into his arms.

He takes a moment to look at you, admiring the beauty of his prize before carrying you onto his ship.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo x you #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x f!reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x f!reader #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars imagine #kylo ren x you

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