#packed into a below average size

[tabbyrp]

Sounds familiar 😉

👼

[bbokicidal]

A Simple Analysis. | OT8 [SKZ]

Warnings: I'm gonna be straight discussing these men and their pp sizes so if you don't want to read about that then just skip this post, no biggie.

Notes: I'm just theorizing what I think they're like 'n I included some good 'ol references. Please note - these references include pictures/videos of the boys AS WELL AS pictures that are NOT the boys but are references to what I picture in my head when I write smut for them. I also need to thank @skzms because I Lowkey could not find bulge pics/vids on my own and their post really helped me out w that.

Extra Warning: There are twitter links in this post, so you know what that means!! Watch at your own discretion losers, I don't want ppl in my inbox whining that I use refs that 'don't look like them' like obv jfc let me hop on bub quick to ask Chris for a dick pic smh.

Extra extra warning: I like slowly lost the ability to think the more I wrote this because all I was doing was looking at SKZ cock so I mean. forgive me.

Chris

HEA. VY.

Heavy Heavy Heavy !!!! I said what I said !!! And if you want to know why, you can simply look at this video!! If I'm being totally honest here, I don't think he's massive down below but I do think he's a little above average at least. Maybe -- mm... six and a half inches? Pretty sure it's pretty, pink, and always leaking pre because he gets hard so easily.

Also, pretty sure it's relatively thick. I mean, we've seen it a few times before in his pants/shorts, so... definitely enough to make you whimper when he's splitting you open. <3

I'm not even gonna like. explain why I think this bc I'm pretty sure we all know but it's veiny as fuck and you cannot argue w that.

And his favorite thing is when you mention during sex how full you feel just bc of how heavy he is. :]

In conclusion: Pretty pink fat cock that is more than enough to make you feel incredible each time you fuck. <3333

Minho

This man is... packing. p a c k i n g.

Packing like I'm pretty sure it's not like thick thick but it's thick enough and it's probably more on the purple side than the pink side, and it's so fucking long--

Not as heavy as Chan but definitely bigger. Bigger, longer, one pretty blue vein running up the side. Literally so perfect and just the right size for your hands to fit around. Also not too long to the point where it hurts to take it but definitely... big. Seven, at least. At. Least.

And his favorite thing is when you whine about how he's fucking you so good that you might die. Dunno why that comment specifically gets to him, but he makes sure to fuck you a little deeper after that.

In conclusion: pretty cock for a pretty man and so fucking yummy.

Changbin

Okay look people might disagree but I think Binnie's a lil on the smaller side !!

Now look. I'm not saying 'bah this bitch has a small cock' I'm just saying it's not a cervix-kisser like a few of the men on this list. It's just right!! It's the perfect size to be perfectly comfortable when fucking and he knows that 'n he's happy with it. (I'm thinking five, bc five is a comfy size.)

However.

He will ABSOLUTELY split you wide fucking open with how thick he is. This man has the chubbiest, pink, mouth-watering, pussy-dripping, eyes-rolling-back, tears running down your thighs, cock ever !!! He's gotta prep you for so fucking long and there is always soooo much foreplay to you two having sex because he's just so thick that if you don't prep lots it's gonna hurt a lil and Bin really really just wants to take care of you. :(((

And his favorite thing is seeing the way you struggle to take him in your mouth because of how thick he is. :]]]]]

In conclusion: best cock on this list. <3

Hyunjin

Hoh. My God.

Hyunjin,,,, ... Hyunjin's packing a fucking rod of a cock, I can't even lie to you. I'm like 90% sure it's at least eight inches and if it isn't then I'm dead. Y'all thought Minho was big? LAWD have mercy, Hyunjin's got a fucking PIPE on him. A third leg, if you will. Shit slaps his thigh when he walks if he don't wear briefs.

SO. PRETTY. I keep saying all their cocks are pretty BC THEY ARE I JUST KNOW IT but Hyunjin's cock is actually fucking gorgeous like it's the type where even if you're someone who's like "I don't like dick pics" and he sends you one?? you're like "omg y'know what I've had an epiphany"

Not like heavy or thick like the others but soooo long, soooo pretty, soooo mouth watering. The type of cock that has you actually drooling and getting fucked dumb every time he puts it in you.

And his favorite thing is when you do just that ^ and go all quiet n whimpery during sex because your brain is mushy.

In conclusion: Monster cock and no one can convince me otherwise !!

Jisung

Mm, okay. I think it's -- average?? But see I dunno why but I'm picturing a little on the thinner side. (AND NO THAT ISN'T MY SUB JI SUPREMACY MINDSET SPEAKING) but just bc it's a little thinner doesn't mean it's not heavy !!!

And even though it only might be like - five and a half, it's still so cute and so pretty and so fucking tasty!!!

Also like a firm believer that he jerks it at least twice a day, sorry not sorry.

And his favorite thing is when you blow him because you just take it so well and he loves seeing it all disappear down your throat <33 mm mm mmmm !!

In conclusion: Mmmm,,, cutest cock on the list <3

Felix

Y'all keep saying Felix has a little cock just bc you enjoy Twink Felix and look - I too enjoy Twink Felix but I also believe in frat boy Felix supremacy SO -

Big dick Felix in the building !!!

Pretty sure he's above average. Like, 6 or 6 and a half, maybe?? SO pretty, cut, pink, so so cute, so fucking yummy looking.

Easily like, the slickest cock on the list. And if you know what I mean, you know what I mean. if you don't that too bad ig.

The type of cock you wanna like. put in your mouth forever and just never stop giving him head fr.

And his favorite thing is when you jerk him because sometimes he just doesn't have the energy or care but he wants it. Plus your hands look so much better on it than his do. :ccc <333

In conclusion: Pretty, big, hefty cock that fills you up soooo good. Also constantly leaking cum n making a mess but you didn't hear that from me !!!!

Seungmin

Y'all,,, I'm not just saying this because I'm a Seungmin bias but,,,

This man has a fucking. rod. Not like Hyunjin-length rod but rod that's like at least seven inches and I refuse to believe otherwise because have you seen the,,,,

Fucking!!Monster!!Of!!A!!Cock!!!!

Thick! So thick! So heavy! Rivals Chris w how heavy he is !!

And his favorite thing is when you choke on it because raaahhh!!! (im not okay)

In conclusion: 2Min Monster Cock Squad

Jeongin

Holy God y'all.

Think I mentioned it once in a post where I was like, "P sure Jeongin has a big dick because as soon as he hit 21 he had this massive boom in confidence n I'm p sure it's bc his dick grew like 6 inches"

Sooooo,,, pretty sure he's also in the monster cock squad.

Like, at least seven inches, again. So big, so tasty. The type of cock that makes you pray to God it won't rip you apart because I just know he fucks hard, bro.

And his favorite thing is when you actually scream during sex because of how good he makes you feel. <3

In conclusion: Jeongin big dick supremacy, we all know he's packing a fucking log of summer sausage in his boxers.

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren @oc3anfloor @theyadorevalerie

[steddieas-shegoes]

Eddie loved flying. When the sun was out and he could watch the cars and houses get smaller while they reached altitude. When everything felt a bit lighter and his stress was under the clouds.

He did not love flying when the weather was bad.

In fact, he’d joked with the flight attendant that maybe they should delay the flight until the wind and dark clouds passed, but she just laughed and said the pilots were used to it.

Good for them. Eddie wasn’t.

He always sat in the window seat in first class, usually had some old businessman on his way to close a very important deal next to him. That wasn’t an option for this last minute flight though, so he was in the last row of the plane, leg bouncing nervously as people continued to board.

“As a courtesy to those around you, please stow your personal items under the seat in front of you as soon as you are in your seat. This allows a faster boarding process for all of us. Thank you!”

The announcement was a reminder that Eddie was flying without his usual carry-on items. His tour manager had packed him a checked bag and sent him on his way.

So he had his phone and his wallet, and eyes looking out the window next to him watching rain start to hit the tarmac below.

“Excuse me, I think that’s my seat,” a man’s voice said from the aisle.

Eddie looked over and saw a long line of men roughly his age in matching track suits, backpacks over their shoulders, and the Notre Dame logo on their jackets.

They were all tall. Well, all except the guy talking to him now. He was pretty average size.

“Uh. I don’t think so man. I’m 36F,” Eddie answered as kindly as his nerves would allow.

The guy checked his phone, brows creasing together.

“I’m 36F.”

No fucking way was Eddie giving up his window seat.

“Is there a problem?” A flight attendant asked from behind them.

“We’re both supposed to be in 36F?” The guy held his phone towards the attendant.

“May I see your boarding pass, sir?” The attendant asked Eddie.

Eddie pulled his own phone out, holding out the mobile boarding pass for her to see it.

“Sorry sir, it looks like you should be in 36E.”

Oh no.

Oh god no.

A middle seat?

There was no fucking way.

“I’m sorry, would it be at all possible for me to be in a window seat?” Eddie didn’t want to cause problems, but his chest was starting to clench and his breaths were coming in short pants.

“Unfortunately, this is a sold out flight. We wouldn’t have any available for you.”

He could feel eyes on him, quite a few of them, but none as obvious as the guy who actually belonged in 36F.

“We can just switch, man. No big deal.”

Eddie sighed with relief.

“Thank you, yeah. That’d be great.”

The attendant nodded and gestured for the guy to sit down.

Someone behind him sat on his other side and they immediately started talking as if nothing had happened.

See? Eddie had actually done them a favor! Now he could talk to his teammate for whatever sport he played and Eddie could watch their impending demise through the window.

The plane was rocking back and forth from the force of the wind blowing outside and the sky continued to grow darker despite the early afternoon hour. Eddie was considering sending a goodbye text to his band when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Hey, you okay?”

Eddie’s eyes widened as he turned to look at the guy next to him.

“Do you normally get nervous when you fly? Or is this your first time?” He continued. “Sometimes it helps to just close your eyes during takeoff.”

It was kind of him to try this, truly, but Eddie knew kindness wouldn’t save them if lightning hit them.

“I’m just not a fan of storms.”

The guy was watching him while his teammate on the other side of him talked to the guys across the aisle. Eddie was surrounded by this entire team. The irony was not lost on him that he spent so much of his youth expressing disdain for sports ball and might die among a group of sports ball players.

“Steve.” The guy nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s instead of offering his hand, an odd thing to do but the contact was grounding.

“Eddie.”

“You wanna hold my hand?”

Did they already die during takeoff? Did Eddie somehow end up in heaven?

This very attractive man, who definitely didn’t even know who Eddie was, was offering comfort in these trying times. Offering to hold his hand!

“Uh.”

Steve smiled. “It’s okay if not, but I figured it might help you focus on something else.”

“Sure.”

Steve held his hand out, palm up, and Eddie laced their fingers together.

“So, Eddie. Tell me where you’re off to.”

Eddie breathed in, breathed out. “My Uncle. He’s getting his appendix out so I’m trying to get there before he wakes up.”

“Oh. I had mine out when I was 10! Is he okay?” Steve seemed genuinely concerned and Eddie felt his stomach swoop.

“Yeah! Yeah, they caught it before it ruptured. But because of his age, they said his recovery might be a little rough so I’m gonna stay with him for a week to make sure he doesn’t overdo it. He’s a stubborn old man who’d probably be pulling weeds from his garden within hours if I wasn’t going so.” Eddie looked back out the window. Fingers reached under his chin, turning him away from the window.

“Eyes on me.”

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Eddie nodded and squeezed Steve’s hand.

“Good.”

Fuck.

“So, you’re close with your uncle?” Steve asked, as if he hadn’t just turned Eddie’s entire world upside down.

“Mhm. He basically raised me. More like a dad,” Eddie whispered out.

The pilot was making an announcement, but you couldn’t pay Eddie to tell you what it was for. He barely even noticed that they were backing away from the boarding zone.

“Do you visit him often?”

“As often as I can. My job keeps me busy,” Eddie shrugged, not really wanting to give it away, didn’t wanna give Steve a reason to look at him differently.

Eddie was gonna soak up this attention as long as he could.

It was actually helping distract him.

“I get that. I mean, I play basketball for Notre Dame and it basically is a full time job. We travel so much, most of my classes are online. I hardly ever get back home to visit my family,” Steve admitted with a sad smile. “Luckily, they come see me at my home games when they can. Does your uncle get to visit you sometimes?”

Just as Eddie went to answer, he caught lightning out of the corner of his eye and his entire body tensed.

“Hey.” Steve’s voice was firm, drawing his attention away from the window quickly. “Keep your eyes on me. We’re fine. Just you and me talking right now.”

They were nearly at the runway for takeoff and it was getting harder to focus on Steve’s words, the warmth of his hand in his, the fact that if it were truly dangerous, they wouldn’t even be cleared for takeoff.

As the plane sped up, Eddie whimpered.

He’d be embarrassed later if he survived.

Steve’s hand pulled from his and wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him against his side while his other hand cupped the back of his head and kept his face against his chest.

“Just breathe. I’ve got ya.”

And really, if the plane went down in flames, no one could save them. But hearing it did help, especially with arms holding him so tightly, he almost didn’t even remember he was on a plane.

But not quite.

The wind was strong enough to make the takeoff rough, shaking the plane more than usual as it left the ground.

Eddie’s hand gripped Steve’s shirt so tight, he would probably cause a tear if his nails weren’t so dull.

He stayed like that while they continued to climb above the clouds, the air pockets making the flight a bit more turbulent than Eddie was okay with.

He felt the vibrations of Steve talking, but didn’t hear him, didn’t even know if he was talking to him or the guy next to him who probably thought Eddie was an idiot.

The pilot made an announcement he didn’t hear, but he figured if he was gonna die, he could die against the chest of a nice, hot guy.

“Worst of it’s almost done, babe,” Steve said, lips against the top of Eddie’s head.

Gareth would never stop teasing him about this if he ever found out.

Being consoled by a sports ball guy during a flight he’s taken at least 30 times in the last two years.

New low? Maybe new high if he managed to get his number.

Steve’s fingers played with his hair, and he slowly felt his body relax.

His last thought before drifting asleep was how nice it was to be held like this.

***

“I think he’s probably a cookie guy.”

Eddie’s eyes blinked open to Steve’s voice quietly rumbling in his ear.

He’d been adjusted at some point so his head rested on Steve’s shoulder, one hand against his chest.

He couldn’t remember the last time he fell asleep on a flight. Maybe the last time they flew to London from LA right after a show?

And those had been perfect flying conditions.

He lifted his head as he rubbed at his eyes and tried not to let the butterflies take over when Steve’s hand squeezed his hip.

“Hey sleepyhead. You want cookies or pretzels?”

“Cookies always. Please.” Eddie yawned.

As he took the package of Biscoff cookies, he noticed how smooth the flight was and the sun shining through the window.

Steve’s arm stayed around him.

The entire flight.

Even after he’d gotten up to use the restroom.

Even when there was no real reason to offer him comfort anymore.

Even when they landed on the runway in Indianapolis and the seatbelt light turned off.

Even while they talked to each other the entire flight, sharing the smallest details about themselves as if it was a first date.

“Would it be okay if I get your number? I’d like to check on your uncle later if that’s okay,” Steve asked, suddenly seeming more nervous than he had the entire flight.

I’m “Yes! Yeah, please,” he quickly typed it into Steve’s phone, putting his name as Eddie M 🛫. “Uh, thanks for, ya know, helping. Kind of embarrassing.”

“No reason to be embarrassed. It was scary.”

“Yeah. I just figured I fly so much, I should be used to it.”

“You never told me what your job was,” Steve nudged him as he pocketed his phone.

“I didn’t.” Eddie almost didn’t wanna ruin this. But he’d figure it out or find out and then it’d be worse. “I’m the lead singer for Corroded Coffin.”

“Is that…a famous band?”

The guy on the other side of Steve smacked his shoulder. “Dude, one of their songs is on our locker room hype playlist. Dustin’s obsessed.”

“Shut up, Lucas. You know I have my own playlist!” Steve turned back to Eddie and rolled his eyes. “Sorry. So you’re like famous.”

“You could say that,” Eddie hated saying it though, at least in these situations. “You really didn’t know?”

“Nah. I’m more of a pop and 80s kinda guy.”

“Maybe you could send me a playlist? Ya know, when you check on my uncle later,” Eddie suggested.

“Sure. I’ve got a two and a half hour bus ride back to campus to work on one.” Steve smirked. “You gonna be alright now?”

“Yeah. Thanks again. For taking care of me.”

“Anytime. Anything you need.”

And Eddie was pretty sure he meant it.

[marishoodie7]

behind the bleachers

Ethan Landry x short!cheerleader!reader hcs

Warnings: unprotected p in v, size kind (sorta), choking, NSFW 🔞

A/N: this is my first time writing chocking and size kinks and tbh I’m probably gonna write some more 🤭 as you guys know this is for reaching 100! You voted best boy Ethan and I’m gonna deliver 🤍 hope you guys enjoy 😘

╰┈➤let’s get into itttt

: ̗̀➛Ethan’s never really been in a relationship with anymore before. He was super nervous to ask you out, and you always thought he was cute. You wanted to ask him out, but before you could Ethan finally got the courage up to ask you himself. 

: ̗̀➛He immediately goes up to you after games, picks you up, and twirls you around. Every time he does it your heart flutters. 

: ̗̀➛Ethan is over 6ft and you’re below average height, so he loves to use that to his advantage, no matter the situation. You’re reaching for something on the top shelf, no problem. Ethan’s got it for you, but be prepared for him to give you a smuggest smirk ever. 

: ̗̀➛Once everyone clears you off the field you two will sneak behind the bleachers. You wrap your legs around his waist and he slams you against the wall, his dick already hardening under his jeans. 

: ̗̀➛He’ll push your skirt and panties out of the way and pull his dick out before towering over you and pressing you against the wall, slowly gliding in before pulling almost his whole length out and slamming it into you again. 

: ̗̀➛As he fucks you he lifts you up the wall, your feet no longer touching the ground as you slightly wrap your legs around him. He never once slows down or breaks the steady motions he’s set.

: ̗̀➛As much as he loves hearing the pretty little sounds you make, he can’t have anyone hearing you. If you moan and gasp a little too loudly he’ll cover your mouth with his hand and fuck you harder, his hips slamming into yours.

: ̗̀➛Your orgasm comes quickly and you find yourself bucking your hips his meet his thrusts, a hot tight knot slowly winding itself through you. 

: ̗̀➛His dick hits your g-spot and you practically scream into his hand. The sound of skin hitting skin and the muffled cries of his name fill the empty field.

: ̗̀➛His hand moves to your throat and he begins to squeeze, his fingers wrapping around soft skin. You get out a choked moan and cum hard around him as he increases the pressure

: ̗̀➛“that’s right princess, come on baby,” he murders in your ear, “think you can hold out a little longer for me,” his voice quivers and you can tell he’s nearing his orgasm

: ̗̀➛You nod your head painfully, and his hands loosen around your throat and drop to your hips as his thrusts get sloppier and sloppier. 

: ̗̀➛“that’s good, my little slut,” he spits. Ethan throws his head back and his mouth parts slightly, your hand immediately tangled itself in his curls.

: ̗̀➛he bucks his hips a few more times before you feel his warmth spread through you. It takes Ethan all his strength to let you down gently. He pulls up his pants and zippers them, slings an arm around your shoulder.

: ̗̀➛“Where have you two been?” Your friend smirks. Ethan smiled shyly and looks to you. 

“I was packing up my stuff,” You paint towards the pink duffel bag Ethan shoulders. Your friend laughs, “Alright, we were about to head out and hang out, you two down?” 

You nod and Ethan squeezes your shoulder, you both say your good byes to your friends but not before confirming the meeting stop. He leads you to the car and opens your side of the door, he slides in and pecks you on the lips before giving you a sweet smile. You almost let yourself forget that was the same boy that fucked you senseless earlier. 

“I love you so much,” He said before hitting the gas and pulling out of the school parking lot. 

“I love you too, Eth,” you returned the smile, still thinking about how perfect he was. 

fine.

thanks for reading 🤍

[arlerts-angel]

🖤⛓️🔞| 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐨𝐥. 1: 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

a/n: welcome to the official first installment of kinktober! today we'll start off with some softcore stuff; headcanons/how our men pleasure themselves; a look into their pants and if they use any assistance to do the deed 😮‍💨

cw: descriptions of male masturbation methods, dick sizes/descriptions, toys mentioned

taglist: @callm3senpaii @la-undercover-latina @dilfkentolover @arlertwitch @nigthmar3moon @darkstarlight82 @daddydynamight @softlilpeachxx @ringsofsaturnnnn @millennialmagicalgirl @i-literally-cant-with-this

🖤 armin arlert:

x-ray: armin's pretty average at about 5 and 1/2 inches! he has more length than girth and curves ever so slightly upwards. he is so smooth, loves to be clean shaven.

method: armin loves to use a small bullet vibrator and stimulate his taint while he masturbates. sometimes he'll go even further if he's feeling brave. it gives him the most intense orgasms (besides his partner) and usually makes him a noisy, whiny mess. when armin cums, he cums in his hand for relatively easy cleanup.

assistance: armin doesn't care to watch porn but he will look at pictures you send him or watch videos of the two of you fucking.

🖤 eren jaeger:

x-ray: eren packs a nice 7 inch cock, and it's thick too. his pubes are the same shade as his hair and are trimmed neatly, doesn't mind letting them be wild sometimes, though.

method: eren likes to edge himself. he likes to take his time when he masturbates, so he'll stroke his cock and get incredibly close to cumming and just stop, leaving his cock red and throbbing. eventually he'll spill his cum over his tummy once he's had enough.

assistance: eren watches porn frequently, less when in a relationship or not at all if his partner isn't comfortable with it. he loves to watch girl on girl porn or dick riding videos.

🖤 levi ackerman:

x-ray: mans has the thickest, juiciest cock ever and you cannot tell me otherwise. length wise he's slightly above average, close to 6 inches.

method: every now and then, levi will use a cock ring when he jerks off. he loves how hard it makes his cock and allows him to last longer during his jerk off sessions. levi has a designated cum rag that he uses to finish in so as to not make a mess.

assistance: levi absolutely does not watch porn. he knows it's completely unrealistic and thus does not add any fuel to his fire. he prefers to use his imagination.

🖤 jean kirstein:

x-ray: well, let's just say he's got a cock that matches his face ;) homeboy is packing heat. a solid 8 inches, all length.

method: jean likes to use his non-dominant hand to jerk off. he turns his hand so that it slides down his cock forefinger first. he'll twist his hand ever so slightly, as if someone else was stroking his dick for him. jean does the deed in the shower, so he lets his cum spurt out against the shower wall and down the drain.

assistance: jean likes to use pictures or videos you send him, much like armin does. he will occasionally watch porn if he feels compelled to.

🖤 connie springer:

x-ray: connie has an average size, maybe slightly below average penis. but what he lacks in length he makes up for in width, and wit.

method: connie likes to play with his balls when he masturbates. he'll twirl them around between his fingers or pull them up and down rhythmically as he jerks his cock. connie cums into tissues, though they're not the most effective at actually catching the spurts.

assistance: connie always has SOMEONE in his phone willing to send nudes to him, relationship status be damned. single? he's got hoes. taken? he'll happily ask for nudes from his pretty baby. he loves to watch amateur porn too.

🖤 reiner braun

x-ray: do i even have to say it... HIS COCK IS MASSIVE. reiner is big and beefy in all the right places. i'm talking porn star cock. 10 inches and it's thick.

method: reiner uses lots of lube. he's big and girthy so he needs a little extra sum sum to get him there. he also likes to jerk it in the shower every now and then, but if he's not in the shower he's definitely in the bedroom, cumming buckets into your bra or panties.

assistance: reiner loves to have phone sex. there's something steamy about only hearing you moan and talk dirty without seeing you touch yourself.

🖤 bertholdt hoover

x-ray: this man is the definition of pencil dick and i mean it in the nicest way possible. his cock is as tall and thin as he is, and he knows how to use it.

method: bertholdt doesn't use any special toys or lubes. he'll either spit in his hand and jerk it or use some lotion if he happens to be near some. he usually saves his jerk off sessions for late nights, so he finds an old shirt or sock to cum into.

assistance: i cannot explain it, but bertholdt gives me the vibe that he saves every nude he's ever been sent and uses those to help him jerk off. also has a thing for revenge porn.

[afreakingdork]

Hi-a Miss Dork! I just wanna say I absolutely adore your writing (and you’re one of my biggest inspirations on this site)! Anywizzle! I noticed your little requests thing, and figured I’d conquer my social anxiety to send this. 

In light of my recent adventures last weekend where I tried to fist fight one of my friends twice my size, would you be interested in a little drabble with our beloved purple boy and a s/o who’s had a little too much to drink, like world is spinning and all types of filters are gone as they speak the first thoughts on their mind kind of drunk. And he’s kind of amused, kind of worried as they stumble around talking nonsense and try to make themselves another drink they clearly shouldn’t have. 

Hope you have a great day/night! 

*In batman voice* “Justice.”

Writing Request: Drunk Reader x Donnie 🍺

Thank you so much! It sounds like you had a great weekend and I ope you enjoy this as well!

From now until the poll closes, if you can prove to me that you voted Hassan/Mikey in this poll then I will write any short 100-400 word request like below or draw you a doodle of your choosing!

ᴰᶦˢᶜˡᵃᶦᵐᵉʳ: ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸ ᵃˢˢᵒᶜᶦᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵒʳ ᵉⁿᵈᵒʳˢᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵉᵗᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒʳ ᶦᵗˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉˢᵗᵃⁿᵗˢ.

Teen rated drunken mischief below!

You were gone.

Donnie had just located you and you were gone.

You had to be somewhere.

You couldn't just vanish.

Unless you had one of Leo's emergency portals which, without question, Donnie needed to get away from you in these circumstances.

The fact that he even considered removing your emergency exit talked to what a blight this night was.

You had gone out with friends. It was not an uncommon occurrence. You had been dating far long enough for him to become more than secure. He enjoyed that you were happy and liked to go out with your buddies. You always came home a tipsy snuggle bug which made it more than worth his while; these were all average events.

What wasn't was your drunk texts.

They came in delirious spurts that were basically unreadable.

He thought of them as hieroglyphics written by your gorgeous ass.

He dismissed them as a silly mistake and then received a call.

"DOOONNIIIEEEEE!!!!" You screeched through the receiver at a volume that made him pull the phone away.

"Yes, my sweet inebriated beloved...?" He was wary in bringing the phone back.

"I like you." You giggled like a school kid telling their crush and he almost bed you were about to run away in the form of hanging up.

"Is that so?" He leaned back from the blueprints he was drawing.

"Yeah..." You seemed to ponder.

The bar rumbled static behind your pause. "Having fun?"

"Yeah, totally! They have this deal! Oh, you wouldn't believe! You get this tower. It's like a storm or something and then they serve it and you go like-!" You whooped into a gesture and someone else clearly yelled.

A deep voice responded telling you to watch yourself.

"Listen here, pal!" You shouted.

Donnie was growing pale as he didn't hear the heated response past 'pipsqueak.'

"Oh, it's on!" There was a harsh clatter before the line cut off.

The terminated call screen blinked with a choice to redial.

Donnie hit the button with a quaking thumb.

An automated voice told him the number he reached-

He was at the bar before his blood pressure lowered enough that he could see where he was going. He stormed straight through the packed club and dropped his goggles with a flick of his head. It drowned out the unnecessary noise and kicked up mapping.

There'd be a trail.

There'd be every indication where you had gone.

He had your metrics down to a science.

Heat signatures.

Scent markers.

He could track you no matter where you-

You were dancing on a bar.

He stared on, unblinking, as he brought his goggles up.

You swiveled and dropped your hips to the cheering of your friends and you looked completely uninjured.

He almost didn't even care what happened.

You were safe.

You looked to be having fun.

He sighed at the anxiety he suffered, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

He bet you wouldn't mind his company and headed toward you.

Where you promptly fell from your spot because you backstepped in beat.

You disappeared behind the counter and Donnie ran.

In two leaps he was there and the moment he looked behind the bar, you weren't.

How was that possible?

He hadn't blinked.

You'd gotten into something mystic that had to be it.

His goggles were malfunctioning for not picking it up.

He heard your sweet laughter.

He rose up to see a bartender glowering down at him where he was invading the space.

Donnie shoved right by the man because a sliver of you was sitting on the counter. "Hey!!"

You looked and lit up. "Donnie!!"

You fell straight at him and he had to catch you.

"Again? That's it. Off! Off!" The bartender shooed you.

Donnie carried you as a giggling package away.

"Boop." You tried to poke the tip of his snout and pissed.

You reeked.

Even with all the assaulting scents of the bar, you in particular were exuding a dangerous amount of alcohol. He got you off to a wall before he set you down. Taking a moment to make a mental map with you safely caged by his body, he formed a breathalyzer with his ninpo and offered it to you. "Blow."

"Oh! Demanding tonight." You tittered. "Not even your birthday..."

He waited.

"Unless..." You swayed as you looked over his person. "Did you split the days again?"

"Darling, I implore you, for a moment, could you simply blow into the device."

"What device?"

He held up the glowing object more obviously.

"Why didn't you say so!?" You giggled and grabbed it.

You tongue it more than putting your mouth around it which made him shudder despite having no senses connected to the construction and he reminded you two more times to blow before you finally did with a hefty huff.

The screen ticked and Donnie thought you might have to try again before it decided 0.23% was a good score.

He blinked at it.

He looked at you where you were sliding down out of his hold.

He watched almost mesmerized as you slunk straight to your butt and very ungracefully tried and failed to get on your feet.

"What did you have?!" He squawked.

"Storm!! Whoosh!" You swung your arms.

"That doesn't mean anything! Where are your friends?"

"Where...?" You tried to move again and almost toppled over.

He hoisted you up like a toddler.

This was his night now.

Babysitting.

You were supposed to come back so cute.

Snuggle into his bed.

Instead you were fighting him like a cat that didn't want to be held. "I'll look!"

"No. I will!" Donnie glanced out for an abysmal moment.

He switched to his goggles a second later and saw scans of their paltry analytics going out and getting a cab."

"They ditched you!?"

"No! Who!?" You held his same tone.

"What happened to your phone!?" He turned on you.

You clucked. "Your forehead gets all wrinkly when you yell."

"Phone!"

"Washboard." You sang off-key notes of a bluegrass tune as you tried to play his forehead.

"No!"

He caught your hand.

"No!"

He reinforced his point by sticking his finger in your face.

Your gaze swam and you tried to bit him.

He yanked his hand away.

"Nope! No more! I'm done! I'm calling it! Bar's closed! You're going home! Those friends of yours better not have left the tab!"

"Nooo!!" You drew out your whine. "I want another drink!"

"Absolutely not! Do you want to chance alcohol poisoning?!"

You almost answered, but he hefted you up under his arm.

"Don't answer that as you aren't in the right mind to respond adequately."

You giggled and swung your dangling arms as he brought you to the bar.

it was a struggle as you kept moving, but he eventually got you there after only knocking over a total of two people.

The moment he set you on the counter to keep you out of trouble, the bartender turned on him.

"Not you again! I said no! Get that one off!"

"Fine! After I pay! Give me the stupid tab!" Donnie snapped right back.

The man rolled his eyes and moved to pull the receipt.

Donnie sighed to one side before he rolled his head back to you. "Let's get you some water-WHERE'D YOU GET THAT!!??"

You had a shot glass to your lips

He smacked it clean out of your hand on reflex.

You stared with wide eyes and hands held up to your lips where you were holding the itty bitty cup that had now shattered on the floor.

"You're paying for that!!" The bartender seethed.

"Yeah! Well!" Donnie hated his foolish response, but he couldn't take his attention away from you again.

In this form, you were far more dangerous than any foe he had ever faced.

"You are shaving years off my lifespan." He told you.

The bartender shoved him a receipt and waited with folded arms.

You were kicking your feet to a song that clearly wasn't play.

Donnie looked at the damaged and his nostrils flared at the price.

"What is this!? How much was that tiny glass!? I can gaffer you another!"

"Three spinning hurricanes, two rounds of shots, two beers, a margarita, and that tiny glass along with pain and suffering and my tip." The bartender leaned forward to illustrate he wouldn't be moved.

Donnie wrapped an arm around you to keep you in place as he got out the bills and not so silently muttered the injustice as he paid.

"Thank you, now get the fuck out." The bartender flicked his head toward the door.

"Check your reviews tomorrow and we'll see who's laughing!" Donnie sneered and hefted you like a bag over his shoulder and on the way out.

You kicked two people in the head and he had no idea how to get you home. You were far too wily to fly with in this condition. He needed to sober you up at least a little so you'd be still. That meant locating the closest food truck, which wasn't far off for the district. He paid another exuberant price for a bottle of water and a set of tacos. He chased you down twice as you tried to escape both times and eventually ninpo'd up a leash to keep you tethered to him.

You sulked straight into the offered platter of food where you immediately abandoned all sorrow for elation.

You ate while spilling filling all over your self and the ground, but Donnie couldn't help but love you.

You were the dork to match his.

You had probably dealt with far stranger after the potion fiasco that had split up his personality.

You drank heartily from your bottle and came away with a satisfied puff.

"Good?" Donnie from where you'd eventually sat own on the dirty sidewalk to eat.

"Good..." You nodded and the motion seemed to come at least a little easier to you. "Where... What happened to my friends?"

"I have no idea." He responded.

You looked up and seemed to sort of register your location. "Ugh. Did... Did i fight a guy?"

He shook his head with the same unknown.

"Must have won." You told yourself with confidence.

"Clearly." He chuffed.

"Buzzing..." Your head tipped.

You weren't moving all that much and seemed to be in a bit of a stupor. "Let's go."

"Kay." You set your trash down to leave, but he scooped it up to toss.

You didn't run away while he did so. You actually slung your arms around his neck when he went to pick you up. He held you close and flew evenly back to the closest entrance to the lair. He counted that as a win as he descended to land.

Dreams of showers and extra steamed cuddling were close at hand.

"Gonna be sick..." You burped over his shoulder.

In an instant shattering, Donnie turned his night over to patting your back while you vomited in an alley and tending to you until you recovered enough in the morning to kiss him gratitude for his care.

He supposed that was just as good.

[cyberluvzu]

Creepypasta height/build headcanons

✧∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°༶⁠ ｡⁠☆

IM NOT DEAD!!! This is js a little something to hold y'all over for a bit, so enjoy, cutie pies!!! :3

I've also decided to hold off on doing requests because I've realized that I've been focusing WAY TOO MUCH on the requests instead of writing my own ideas :P

Included creeps: Eyeless jack, Ticci Toby, Ben drowned, Clockwork

TW: Mention of self harm scars, open wounds(?), and scars in general

Eyeless Jack

6'2-6'5, very broad shoulders and just broad in general. Also heavily muscled, my man has some GUNS on him. He has some man boobs (foaming at the mouth and drooling writing that). He'd have bigger hands, they could literally wrap around yours like nothing because of how giant this man(?) is. He also has stretch marks all around his body because of how quickly his body changed from the whole demon transformation thing. I like to think that he has a tail, kinda like a lion's tail. It's grey like the rest of him but has a little tuft of black fur on the end of it. It has little peach fuzz running along the grey parts of it. He also has pointed ears. They're mostly like elf ears, pinned to his head and pointed at the ends. Definitely has retractable claws too!

Ticci Toby

5'10-5'11. Seems pretty lanky at first but has a major sleeper build. Has a decent amount of muscle on him. Pretty skinny, long arms, legs and fingers for sure, always warm too because his body heat doesn't regulate itself, so that can be a major benefit (or disadvantage LMAO). He's pretty proud of his body and general build because he used to just be just skinny, he feels like he can "show up" his past bullies with how he looks now and is actually able to defend himself properly. Toby would also have scars from getting hurt because of his job as a proxie and from hurting himself. He would have some self harm scars because he just wants to make himself feel pain for once, but ultimately fails everytime. He'd have scars all over his fingers from biting the skin off, a couple on his torso and back from work, and self harm scars. I think that the gash in his mouth would start to heal but then he'd end up chewing it off again, so that one isn't a scar just more of an open wound if anything. He would definitely have some piercings. An eyebrow one, lip ring, and his nose. He would definitely chew on his lip ring without realizing it and totally prevent it from healing correctly or even at all.

BEN drowned

Like Toby he's also skinny. His duties as a proxie don't need him to have as much muscle as anyone else in the manor, so he's just lanky. He's pretty average height 5'6-5'8, nothing too major. I like to think that he has super long hair, down to about his lower back. Most of the time he just puts it into a pony tail and calls it a day. Whenever he wants to spice it up he does little braids in his hair and leaves it down. He's basically the epitome of the whole "lanky gamer boy" stereotype. Most of the time he's freezing cold (it's a ghost thing). He also has elf ears, it's a given considering it's Ben. He would have a couple of piercings, snakebites and an eyebrow!

Clockwork

5'10. Very muscular and pretty broad. Definitely packing when it comes to arm muscles, the rest of her body is also really tones and muscular but she tends to focus more on her arms and back. Her hair goes to a little bit below her shoulders, some simple light brown highlights in her hair. The highlights are mostly worn out but she makes it look HOT. She has a couple of scars from incidents that she's had during missions or training. A decent sized one on her shoulder, a pretty big one below her ribcage, and some other ones here and there.

✧∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°༶⁠ ｡⁠☆

[finniestoncrane]

Out of curiosity.. what do you think the various scarecrows you write for 🍆's sizes are? Just curious.

Scarecrow Headcanons anon... thank you for this blessed opportunity to talk out of my ass about these lanky noodledicks for an entire post 🎃🧡 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: so much dick, references to sex, handjobs, blowjobs, choking, saliva, blood, period sex

arkham

i think auld hessian sack heid is packing HEAT

i'm being generous, so generous, because he just has that vibe of the skinny tall boy with an impressive shlong

thick, long, powerful, dangerous

8" inches give or take a little, big slapping balls, head on it that could stretch you wide open

it's pale, like the rest of him, and there's distinct scarring

there's tissue damage, so it's not as sensitive as it once was

a positive for you though, because that texture is strangely delightful

it's difficult to coax an orgasm out of him through fucking alone given the fact that there's nerve damage

so he prefers to see you choke on his incredible gift, struggling against it, trying to manage him

btaa

petite and pretty and don't tell me i'm wrong

please don't ask me for evidence, i just feel this in my bones, but that man is circumcised

he's got a glimmering little pink head always on show

and he is SO excitedto show it off

he can get hard just staring at his own cock before he's even touched it

he's working with a slightly below average length between 3-4"

but good god in heaven does he know what the fuck to do with it

his technique is unmatched, his energy, passion, moves

it's very nice looking too, kind of dick you get distracted by when you're sucking it

and he keeps his greying pubes very trim and tidy too, just enough of them to rub your nose or your fingers against

absolute fiend for period sex, something about the visceral deep red of your blood covering his cock just gets him

golden age

average, much to his disappointment

like, at least if you're huge you've got the bragging rights in the horrid world of machismo and size mattering

and at least if it's tiny then it's something different, and there are a lot of people *cough me cough* who adore small dicks

but average, to him, is nothing special

nothing different, nothing unique

just another in a long line of forgettable aspects of him

it's not necessarily pretty either, it really is just a cock

5-6", average veins, colour matched to his skin tone, pale and only flushes a little when he's aroused

unruly pubes too, insane bush!!

he's very keen on getting your drool all over his cock and balls, having is shining and wet is a huge turn on for him

[soft-mafia]

was reading the clenis discourse and needed to hear more of buggy who things he has a small dick but is packing🙌🙌

THE CLENIS DISCOURSE HELLPPP😭

This actually gives me a funny ass idea where Buggy thinks he’s extremely small/below average but has a MONSTER cock.

Buggy: *About to unzip his pants* Don’t- don’t make fun of it ok. I’m a shower not a grower!

Y/n: Awww don’t worry babe! I don’t care about the size!

Buggy: *the most juiciest, girthiest, meatiest cock ever*

[alltimefail-sims]

Vacous Green Court is one of the older suburban areas in the Valley offering a variety of affordable rental options for everyone from the average joe to the aspiring starlet. We can't confirm if the rumors about a young, pre-fame Brytani Cho living on the property are true, but we can confirm that the landlord has a wonderful relationship with the local fire department and a poor relationship with the fuse boxes. That said: fire extinguishers can be provided for units upon request.

The goal of this build was for it to feel like an elevated EA build that fits into the surrounding world and prioritizes function for gameplay. I hope you guys enjoy!

INFORMATION & DOWNLOAD BELOW ↓

Packs I Used:

This lot is completely CC Free! It's listed as a "Residential Rental" with 6 available units for your sim to choose from that come in varying sizes. If you're going to be the landlord, I'd personally recommend living in the 1 BR home. Every building is basically a shell to keep with the realism of being a rental which your sims would furnish themselves. Additionally, nearly every gameplay object was placed without the Move Objects On cheat, so you shouldn't have any issues!

Finally, I do have one CC recommendation for this build to make the garage in the back more functional: Landgraab Self Storage Garage Doors by @ravasheencc. As of right now only the 1st and 4th units are accessible, but with these functional garage doors you could make all 4 of them accessible storage units that you could assign to tenants. Not necessary at all, but it crossed my mind as I was building and though it would elevate the playability of the lot!

TOU: All I ask is that 1. you do not reupload and claim the build as your own (yes, even if you tweak it a little…) and 2. you tag me if you use it! I would love to see this in other people’s games and saves, that’s why I’m sharing it! ❤️

Additional screenshots are on my Patreon post. Let me know if there are any in-game issues!

DL: Patreon (always free)

+ @pancakesrealty, @publicvanillabuilds

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Prerequisite

Masterlist

Warnings: this fic includes dark content including rape/noncon, power imbalance, blackmail, and other potential triggering elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You attempt to move on from your time with Professor Hansen, but can't seem to shake the past.. (plus sized reader)

Characters: Ransom Drysdale, some Lloyd Hansen

A note on reader characters:

For clarity,  each reader will have a defined nickname when appearing in any installment not their own. This is Flora, previously featured in Below Average. This fic also features characters from various installments.

Note: Finally got this on paper.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Donkey love Waffles. Take care. 💖

You cross your arms as you narrow your eyes at the front of the lecture hall. It's your last choice in elective but the only one you could get to pad out your schedule. Law. Hardly riveting stuff.

What's more intriguing is the professor. No, no, you haven't acquired a taste for them, if anything Hansen taught you to be wary of them. The very lesson that has you glaring down at Professor Barber, waiting for his first slip.

You're not clever by any means, you're just the only one looking for the signs. The same ones you saw in Tweed at your first meeting, those that you catch in yourself, and the other girls who won't say the truth aloud. 

Brownie, that's the one. You see the way he looks at her and you note how she stays after class, every week. Only three weeks so far but a pattern is a pattern.

You twist your pen, the nib poking out, then do it again, retracting it. The clicking noise forms a tempo at your listless fidgeting. You have a study date tonight with the girls, what’s one more? You’re forming a habit of taking on lost souls, yourself just another wisp floating in the void.

You scribble down the date for your next quiz, your mind hardly processing the words as you guide the pen. You’re trying to plot your approach. You think you have an idea.

As Professor Barber dismisses class, you slide your notebook into your bag and hike it up onto your shoulder. At the edge of the row, as usual, you quickly descend as Brownie stays in her seat, waiting and watching her feet. You catch the small glances aimed in her direction from the man behind the podium.

You take out your phone and quickly text Cookie; ‘you got room for one more?’

You don’t wait for an answer. You don’t care. You’ve made up your mind, it’s a warning, not a question.

“Hey,” you come around the front row. The girl doesn’t seem to hear you. Or she’s ignoring you, “um, Brownie?”

She looks up, startled. She sends a look towards Barber but you ignore him. You cross your arms and sway, your skirt stirring around your legs.

“Remember me?” You ask, “you lent me your pen?”

“Oh, uh, I remember,” she squeaks, her voice thin and raw, as if she never uses it, “hi.”

“Um, so,” you try to sound casual, “I’m not really a law student. English,” you touch your chest and smile, “and I think I could use a study buddy, if you’re interested?”

“Er, oh?” Her brows draw together, “I don’t know…” she scratches her neck, another peek at the professor, “I–”

“Do you have plans? Or maybe you already have someone to study with,” you look away and frown, “sorry, I just figured I’d ask. I need someone to help me make sense of all this. I’m totally lost.”

There’s a subtle rumble, a noise you likely wouldn’t notice if you didn’t know to listen for it. You don’t even glance back at Barber as you hear him packing up. You sit in the chair next to Brownie and smile.

“I just figured you’re like, the smartest person in the class, and I need this grade to bring my average up. Please?”

She chews her lip and plays with the high collar of her turtleneck. She hides beneath her lashes, shrugging before she manages a tiny nod. Her fingers flutter and she shivers nervously.

“I can help,” she presses her fingers to the ribbed fabric of her shirt, “sure, I…”

“Me and my friends are meeting tonight, we’re getting pizza,” you chirp, “wanna tag along?”

“Friends?” She bats her eyes at you frightfully.

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re all super friendly and they’ll love you.”

“I… I don’t know. I’m not very…” she speaks so quietly you have to lean in to hear her.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say much,” you assure her, “Cookie always bakes way too many brownies. You could help us finish them, huh?”

She looks terrified. Her mouth scrunches and shifts back and forth as she measures her options. You know exactly what she’s thinking. That man will be disappointed. Well, let him be. Unless he wants to step forward and admit that he’s fucking a goddamn student.

“Hm, okay, but… just for a little. I can’t stay very long.”

“Just until I figure out what actus reus means, alright?” You stand and send a sharp look towards the professor. He quickly dips his chin down in feigned concentration as he looks over his notes. Not today, fucker.

“Okay,” she gets up and lifts a crochet bag, her hand shaking as she tucks away her laptop in the slouchy purse, “um, I’m sorry, but… I forgot your name.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you wait for her to pass you before walking at her side towards the door. She’s still hesitant and reluctant as she looks over her shoulder, “Flora.”

💮

“This is Brownie,” you introduce the mousy addition to the girls as she tries to fade into the blue wall, “she’s in my law class.”

She doesn’t move. She just looks up with round eyes as the others cheerily call out their welcome, already clustered around the table amid coffee cups, laptops, and a few baked goods. The scent of cinnamon mingles with the stale caffeine.

“Welcome, Brownie,” Muse gives both of you a start as she appears at the girl’s other shoulder, “I’m Muse! Oh, you have wise eyes.” She flutters around the girl, a boa around her shoulders, “you would look wonderful in jade. Yes, it would highlight your undertones.”

Brownie frowns and mutters, but you can’t tell if it's a thank you or just a whimper.

“She says I’m a sapphire type,” you remark as you wave her away from the door, “you can toss your coat with ours,” you motion to the bench bench piled with outerwear, “then I’ll introduce you to the rest… they’re not as bouncy as Muse.”

Brownie gives up her dark gray coat and steps out of her plain boots. She dresses in a very simple way. Turtle necks, corduroys, nothing with much shape or structure. Her style can be best described as part of the wall.

“So,” you walk just ahead of her. She stays behind you as if trying to hide, “Tweed, Foxy, Sunny,” you point out the three girls at the table, “you met Muse,” you look at the artsy wraith fluttering around the counter, “and Cookie, our host.” 

The woman in question puts down a plate of sugar cookies, “hi, nice to meet you! I’ll find an extra chair.”

Brownie doesn’t say a word. You realise it might be a bit overwhelming. She reminds you of Tweed in that way. You point her to a chair and assure her you’ll take whatever Cookie comes up with. She sits, hugging her bag in her lap as she stares at the table.

Foxy gets up as you head for the counter, you pause and look back at Brownie, “you want some tea? Something to drink?”

She chews her lip before she answers, “water, please, if that’s okay.”

You nod and go to the cupboard. Foxy comes up next to you and leans on the counter as you shift to pull out the water jug from the fridge. You come back to her as she keeps her voice low.

“What’s up with that one?”

“Law professor, I think,” you mutter, “could barely get her here.”

“Fuck, another one, huh?”

“Uh, yeah, you know, shitty men everywhere,” you fill the glass, “I brought her here to try to forget all that. Like the rest of us.”

“Sure thing,” she taps the countertop with her nails and pushes off.

You put the jug back and take the water over to Brownie as Cookie emerges with a small white stool. You accept it, the seat lower than the rest so that you feel like a kid at the table. You pull out your laptop and open it up. Your phone slides out with it and you catch it as notifications flash on the screen.

You tap your thumb to expand the preview; Insta, emails, and a text that neither surprises or interests you. Professor Dillhole’s message is swiped away without reading a single word. You got your grade and now you’re done with him. He doesn’t seem to get the hint.

“So, Brownie, you’re in law? Are you going to be a lawyer?” Foxy asks.

Brownie shrugs and nods. You wonder for a moment how she’ll manage a courtroom when she can barely give a vocal answer. Well, she has lots of time to figure that out.

“That’s really cool,” you say, “you know, I don’t have the mind for all that. I can’t really sort out one act from the rest. I’m more into bigger narratives than the tiny details.”

She looks at you, still hugging her bag. She’s ready to leave at any moment.

“Why don’t you stay a while?” You poke her bag, “how about we compare notes? I’m sure I missed all the important stuff. This tort gibberish is doing my head in.”

She puts her chin down and slowly lifts the flap of her bag. She slides out her laptop and gently lowers the bag between her feet. She opens the lid, almost reluctant, and her desktop comes to life. You see the email in the corner right before the notif flicks away. A.Barber… Mmm.

For a moment, you feel a pang of guilt. You hope your impromptu invitation doesn’t cost her anything. That he doesn’t hold it against her. You should’ve thought of that sooner.

“Let me find…” she trails off, her finger running over the trackpad.

You wait patiently. No, you don’t feel bad. She deserves this. Like the rest of you, she needs a place to get away. Just a single space where she doesn’t have to be crushed under his thumb.

💮

You sit outside of Dean Drysdale’s office. His secretary types away at her keyboard and you twirl your phone in your grip. It’s mostly a paperweight these days as you ignore almost every message that comes in. Blocking didn’t work on that jag off.

You jiggle your foot anxiously. This meeting is important. You really need this scholarship and through the grace of your hard work, and the regrettable cooperation of a particular professor, you’ve met all the requirements. The last piece, an interview with the dean.

The clock ticks, drawing your attention in the stagnant office. It’s five after. The dean is running late. That doesn’t really matter, he can do whatever he wants. But you’re early and that can only help in his consideration.

You hear muffled voices near the other side of the door. Shadows darken the frosted glass emblazoned with the dean’s name and credentials. You sit up straight but try not to look too eager. The door opens and your heart falls into your ass. Fuck, not this guy.

“Friday,” Dean Drysdale claps Lloyd’s back as they emerge from the office.

“Can’t wait,” Lloyd returns but his eyes are on you, “ah, sorry,” he says to you, “didn’t mean to keep him so late.”

“No problem, professor,” you stand and grip the strap of your bag, masking your disgust with a smile, “Dean Drysdale,” you greet the other man, “nice to meet you. I’m Flora.”

“The one and only,” he doesn’t offer his hand, “looks like you’re running behind so better get started.” He points you into his office, “later, Hansen.”

He tosses the last remark over his shoulder as he turns to follow you through the door. You enter and hover across from his desk. You hate to be presumptuous. He shuts the door with a click.

“Sit,” he orders tersely as he rounds the desk and falls heavy into the leather chair.

You lower yourself. Your nerves are wily, especially after seeing Professor Hansen. You had no idea he was close with the dean.

“Hansen speaks highly of you,” he begins, “as do the rest of your professors.”

“Oh, I, that’s great.”

“So, I have thirty candidates. Why should I choose you?” He leans back, elbow on the armrest, posture nonchalant as he swivels.

“Um, well, I work hard. I keep my average up where it needs to be. I have gotten involved in quite a few extracurriculars, I helped with the library bakesale and–”

“Boring. Got it. That’s all in your application,” he dismisses, “just like all the other ones. Bunch of filler. But why you?”

You’re speechless. You prepared for this but you feel as if you fell into this from thin air. You don’t know what he wants to hear.

“How many parties have you been to?” He asks suddenly.

“What?” You can’t help your surprise.

“Come on. You’re a young coed. I know how it is. So, let’s narrow it down. Fall term, how many?”

You squint and look at the wall, thinking. You’re not much of a partier. You twiddle your fingers and count in your head.

“Four, maybe,” you push your shoulders up. “I don’t really… I mostly just spend my spare time with my friends–”

“Are they hot?” He chuckles and sits up, your mouth falling open. “Relax, I hate these things. So uptight,” he rolls his shoulders as he wheels closer to the desk and plants his elbows, “at least you're honest. The last six freshmen that sat there insisted on a big O. Think they would see the plaque and realise I’m not stupid.”

“Well, I… yeah,” you chew on the tip of your tongue. You really don’t know how to proceed. “I brought a portfolio of my essays–”

“No time for that,” he waves his hand at you, “think I got the picture.”

“Oh,” you frown.

He stares at you, poking his cheek with his tongue as his brows draw together. He hums and sits back, once more swiveling back and forth. He tilts his head and clucks.

“You’ll hear from my secretary,” he declares at last.

“That’s it?” You gulp.

“Yeah, whatever, I got about five more of these today and I need a fucking coffee,” he lifts his feet onto his desk. “Be a doll and send in Sienna when you leave.”

“Um, okay,” you stand slowly, “thanks for your time.”

He doesn’t respond as he takes out his phone. You hide your unease and leave. As you emerge you see the name card on the secretary’s desk. Sienna.

“Er, he told me to send you in,” you approach.

She looks up at you and snaps her gum, “great.”

She gets up as she rolls her eyes and you swiftly march past the desk. You don’t understand what just happened. Did you fuck it up? What did Hansen say? Oh my fucking good, you swear if he–

Your thoughts race ahead of your feet as they carry you without intention. You find yourself in the stairwell, stunned and confused. You turn down the first flight only to dodge out of the way of a figure coming up. You yipe as you find yourself shoved into the corner, Lloyd’s arms outstretched to pen you in.

His hands brace the painted brick as he smirks down at you, “hey, sweet cheeks, long time, no suck.”

You curl your lip at him and snarl, “get away from me.”

You shove on his chest and he retracts his hands, grabbing your wrists. You struggle with him but he easily pushes your hands up, pinning them to the wall. He leers as looms in front of you, his eyes scanning down your body.

“Damn, I forgot how good you look in those skirts. Panties or nah?”

“Fuck off–”

“Always looked better around your waist–”

“I said get the fuck off of me. I’ll scream–”

“I’d love to hear it,” he snickers, “what happened to us, flower? We were doing great. Living life, fucking hard.”

“You’re an animal–”

“We had a good thing, the whole professor-with-benefits gig worked for us, didn’t it? It sure as hell loosened you up. Look at you, all wound tight–”

You snap your teeth at him and he recoils, barely saving his nose from the chomp. He cackles and keeps you trapped, squeezing your wrists tighter. His laughter rolls out to a growl.

“You know, if you get that scholarship, they need two professor’s to sign off on it… but you know, I don’t just put my name on anything–”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I fucking am when I got blue balls, honey,” he scoffs, “just touch em. A little bit.”

You grit your teeth and throw your knee up. You yank your hands free and shoulder past Lloyd as he bends and grips his crotch. He chokes on his breath as he leans against the wall. You bluster away as quickly as you can.

“Not like that,” he gurgles as you charge down the stairs, dizzy as you turn down the next flight. 

So much for that scholarship.

💮

You stare at the C circled in red on your last quiz. Law isn’t your forte, that’s clear. Your GPA and hopes for that scholarship are dwindling in that simple little letter. You look up at the front of the lecture hall as Professor Barber reclaims the podium, preparing to take up the answers as he does every other week.

You sit closer than before. You’re always sure to take the seat next to Brownie and she has yet to tell you to stop. Something about her though suggests that she won’t ever do that. No has been erased from her vocabulary.

You don’t miss the Professor’s eyes as they flit up to your study buddy but quickly meet your own. He darts them away, caught. You wonder, however, if your middling grade has something to do with that. Oh well, you won’t regret doing the right thing.

As you open your laptop, an email pops up in the corner. ‘On Behalf of Dean R. Drysdale’. You click on it before you can stop yourself. You’re holding your breath. You read it slowly.

‘Schedule a follow up for the dean’s decision’.

What? That’s not an answer. Fuck. Why can’t they just put it right there? Yes or no. You have to stop yourself from slamming your laptop shut. You grab your quiz and rest it over your keyboard. You look over at Brownie, she stares at the paper in her hand. She got an A, as always.

“Good job,” you whisper.

“Mmm, yeah,” she returns as she drops the quiz onto her folding desk. “He’s a good teacher…”

“Sure,” you accept dryly.

She glances at you but says nothing. You hate to be sharp with her but it’s pretty obvious what’s going on. You’re just smart enough to know to be cautious. You can only be there for her when she needs you. It would be too risky to do anything else. And not fair to Brownie, that man could destroy her career. You’ve been her, you just hope she finds her way out.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Barber calls out, quieting the class, “it seems we need a lot of review on case law.”

💮

The hour is unexpected but you don’t think much of it. A dean is busier than most and you can’t help but imagine that Drysdale is even less elated to be meeting at such an off-time. Seven in the evening on a Friday is prime time, even for those outside the coed population.

You show up to an empty office. Sienna is gone, the place desolate. The vibe is off. Something about it reminds you of another meeting. No, this isn’t Hansen. Still, you’re on edge, vigilant as you approach the dean’s door, an amber glow through the frosted glass.

You knock and cross one arm over your chest, clutching your upper arm. You sway as you wait. Deja vu paralyses you on the spot. It can’t be. It can’t happen twice. This is about the scholarship.

The door opens and Drysdale steps back as he gives a flippant greeting, “come in.”

He has a glass in hand, a dark brown liquid in marbled crystal. He sips as the door falls open. You step inside and look around the office, the framed degree behind his chair and the several photographs placed around them; a previous dean with his imperious features, and a large house with a rustic landscape crowded around it. You hover at the threshold.

“Close the door,” he sits heavily, “these old buildings are drafty as–” he stops himself and smirks. 

He drains the last of his drink, liquor by your measure, and puts it on the marble coaster. You shut the door and sit, just like last time. You can’t help but be slightly irked to think he brought you all the way here to issue you a rejection.

“So, top three,” he points a finger gun at you as he slumps in the same lackadaisical way, “Flora… you’re a star. Shining reviews. Can’t say my professors ever said anything nice about me but you… you even got Hansen singing your praises.”

“Oh,” you utter.

“I’ve known him a while. We were in the same frat, you know? He was a senior when I was a freshman, hazed me real good but look how things turned out,” he leans an elbow on the armrest and cradles his chin. He watches you. “All these years and I never heard him say anything nice about a fucking student.”

You’re put off by the obscenity. Further, upended by his history with Lloyd. What does that have to do with anything?

“You know, he’s all about self-discipline but you get a few scotches down his gullet and he’s like an open book. Also…” he raises a finger, “leaves his phone unlocked.”

You try not to let that suspicion turn to panic. He can’t know. Even if he did, it’s not your fault. He should be talking with Hansen, not you. He’s the one abusing his position.

“You let him fuck you in his car,” he sits up and laughs, his hand on his stomach, “looking at you, I never would’ve guessed.”

“What? How–”

“I mean, he was hitting it from quite the angle so I don’t blame you for not noticing the phone in his front pocket…”

“No.”

“Yes,” he cackles. “Listen, sweetie, it’s not the first time it’s happened. Some girls just don’t have anything else to offer, so who am I to be mad if they use what they got.”

“I’m not– I’m not like that. He made me–”

“Oh, I’m sure the promise of an A plus helped,” he scoffs as he lets his hand drift down his stomach, “so what can a scholarship get me?”

He gropes himself through his russet coloured pants. Your throat constricts as you clutch your purse tight in your lap. You’re rigid, alight in horror and shame. Of course Lloyd didn’t walk away without something.

“I’ve waited twenty years for this,” he plants his feet.

“No, I’m not– I’m not doing this again.”

You stand and Drysdale rips his hand away from his crotch, snapping his fingers, “with that video, I could take you to the review board and have you kicked out. Not only that, all your credits would be invalidated.”

You swallow and wince. No, this can’t be happening. Again. You’re stronger than this. You’re worth more than these men’s dicks.

“So, sweetie pie,” he reaches forward and takes his phone off his desk, “we’re gonna make a nice little video for Hansen and show him how it’s really done.”

You shudder and hug yourself, “I…” your throat is dry, your heart hollow. What other choice do you have? You’ll lose everything. “I’ll do it, but no video. Please.”

“My rules. I am the dean and you are… the slutty coed.” He tuts, “mmm, classic Pornhub fodder.” He taps the screen of his phone, “let’s go. Get your clothes off.”

He aims the lens at you. You look at the floor. You can’t move.

“Please, turn it off.”

“Get your fucking clothes off,” he repeats, “I want to remind that fuckface what he’s missing out on.”

You dig your nails into the back of your arms then let go. You keep your head down as you lift the strap of your purse over your head and throw it in the chair behind you. You unzip your coat and shrug it off. The room rings in your ear and blurs in your vision. Your breaths are shallow and painful. Your skin is buzzing.

Your coat falls and you pull down the straps of the denim dress you wear over a flowered blouse. You shimmy it past your waist and peek up for just a minute. Drysdale bites his thumb as he records you.

You quickly tear away your gaze and continue. You unbutton the blouse and turn as you fight to free your wrists from the cuffs. Goosebumps speckle over your skin. You close your eyes and ball your hands before pushing your fingers wide. You touch the top of your stockings.

“You can leave those on, cheeks.”

You gulp and retract your hands. You pause and turn back to face the desk.

“Tits out, ass out, go on.”

No wonder he’s tight with Lloyd. Birds of a feather. You reach back to undo your bra and sling it onto the chair. You hook your thumbs in your panties and step out of them.

“I always liked an extra helping,” Drysdale taunts, “her cups overfloweth… is that Shakespeare?”

You don’t answer. You fight the urge to hide behind your arms. You raise your head. You have a morsel of dignity left in you.

“Come here,” he demands, “I wanna fuck those tits.”

You cringe but obey. If Lloyd taught you anything it was to just get it over with. You round the desk as he opens his fly. He pulls himself out above the zipper, playing with himself, rolling his thumb over his tip as he growls.

“Knees, baby, I’m sure you know the drill,” he snickers. You get down as he wiggles his dick in your direction, “push those things together.” You grab your chest and smush it together. He taps your tits with his tip and laughs, enjoying his mocking.

He guides himself down under your tits and slides between. He cups a hand around yours as he refocuses the phone on you. He rocks the chair back, moving his pelvis as he slowly starts to thrust. He groans at the friction. You clench your jaw tight, dreaming of biting off the end of his overinflated worm.

His breath hitches as he fucks faster, the bottom of his wolly sweater rolling up his muscles stomach. You could just punch him right there. You could grab him by his balls and twist. No, that would only assure you of your scholarly doom.

“Look at me,” he demands.

You snap your eyes open as he shoves the phone in your face. You shy away but he keeps fucking, turning the lens down towards your tits. He gives a breathy laugh and it trickles into a moan. Weak and pathetic.

“Shit, yeah, that’s good,” he groans, “give it a kiss, baby.”

You grit back your disgust. You bend your neck and kiss his tip as it pokes through.

“With tongue.”

You force your tongue out as his tip pops up again and you swirl around it, planting a sloppy kiss on the salty flesh. He twitches and hisses. He pulls his hand away from yours and grips the chair.

“That’s good, get up,” he snarls, “turn around.”

You suck in a chestful of air and do as he says. You get to your feet and turn away. He grabs your hips and rolls closer. 

“Bend over.”

You bend and rest your elbows on the edge of the desk. He angles you down into his lap, your body stretched between the two. He rubs his dick against your ass, once more tapping. He kneads the flesh. You shake your head as he tilts you further down.

He prods at your cunt and you can’t help but clench. He pushes against your entrance, tight and burning as he grunts, bulling his way past the resistance with a slap against your thigh. He latches onto your hip and pulls you down another inch.

“It’s all you. You just gotta fuck that scholarship outta me.”

You bite your lip and force yourself to take him. You hip down until you reach your limit but before you can pull back up, he grabs on and holds you in place.

“More.”

You sink your teeth in deeper, urging yourself lower until it’s unbearable. You take him in fully and let out a shaky breath through your nose. You raise your ass as he lets you go. He lets out a raspy noise and you repeat the motion. You keep your motion mechanical and slow, trying to adjust.

“Faster. I wanna see you jiggle.”

You roll your eyes and claw at your arm, arms crossed over the desk as you rock your weight over him. The flesh claps loudly as his chair squeaks with each descent. He groans and gulps, hand wandering over your flesh, along your thighs, across your ass, up your back.

“Fuck, look at her go,” he snarks, “you work that dick. Just like that.”

You close your eyes and let the scowl mar your features. You speed up. He’s almost there. You can feel the tension, you can hear it in his voice.

“Ah,” he pinches you meanly, “stop!”

You try to keep going but he pushes you off of him. He growls and the chair jars as he sits up. You puff and peek around your shoulder at him.

“I’m cumming in your fucking mouth,” he cradles his balls, half-keeled over. “Open the fuck up before I blow–”

You get back to your knees and glare at him. You won’t falter. You have nothing over these men but that. You lean your head back and open your mouth. He lets himself go and holds the camera over you.

“Well, not gonna finish itself.”

You grab him, roughly, and he grunts. A warning. You ease up and stroke him, placing your mouth by his tip. 

“Look into the camera, cheeks.”

You glare at the camera, you hope it can catch the sheer loathing radiating from you. You stroke him, squeezing harder and harder until he spasms and mewls. He spurts all over, missing your mouth and streaking up the bridge of your noises and across your brow, a few strings over your cheek. 

He gasps and clings to the chair as if he might slip out of it, the camera drooping with his arm. You let him go and wipe your slimy hand. You stand and snatch a tissue from the box on his desk and wipe the mess from your face. His heavy breaths fill the silence.

“Can I go?” You ask flatly.

“I got nothing else for you,” he spits out.

You refuse to look at him as you dress. He chuckles. You fight not to turn around and throw every single thing on his desk at him. You hate him. You hate Lloyd. But more, you hate yourself.

“Congratulations,” he says as you pick up your purse, “did I mention, paperwork went through yesterday.”

You whip around and stare at him. You quake with anger, eyes hot with unspent tears.

“Hey, even I got deadlines. Had to make the call last week.”

You take a step back. What the fuck? You stumble away, ready to scream, ready to strangle this man. For now, you’ll settle for never having to see him again.

[canonkiller]

Hi, I'm trying to do art commissions, but no one has commissioned me yet. Do you have any advice for attracting customers?

I wrote a lot of words for you in hopes that at least some of it will be helpful, so I'm putting the bulk of this answer below a read more to save people the scrolling. The quick and easy two tips that I find people forget to do the most are:

Is your art easy to find? Having a pinned post with a tag for your art, a link in your bio, or an art-focused / reblog-light blog (like this one!) make it so that people know you draw, and knowing you've been posting art for a while makes you less likely to be a scammer.

Is your commission info easy to find? People can't buy things that they don't know you're selling; clear and accessible links to your prices and terms are important.

Now for the real bulky meat of advice giving, where I say a lot of words that may or may not be relevant:

I have a lot of advice, but I do want to say before getting into it:

A lot of selling art (especially in a non-industry setting, like with social media commissions) is luck.

There is no one size fits all method for selling art, and it's best to go with what feels right to you (I'll go more into this later)

Tips for selling are not necessarily tips for creating, and there will be advice in here that I don't apply to myself. Determining what you do and do not implement is something you should decide for yourself and your work flow.

Your art not selling doesn't mean nobody cares about it.

Personally I think the idea of intentionally curating a single subject demographic of Customer and Consumer for your work is limiting and doomed to burnout in a non-industry space. I will also touch more on this later.

Now for the rest of it in varying orders:

✨ Attracting Customers

This one is going first because you mentioned it specifically. It is kind of vague though, by nature of the term, so what I advise doing is specifying.

When you are thinking of a customer, are you trying to appeal to:

People who will buy pre-made art products? (Pins, stickers, prints, etc)

People who will buy custom work? (Commissions for specific subject matter)

People who will buy art resources you've created? (Fonts, bases, texture packs, 3d models etc)

There's also frequency: a repeat customer of custom art will usually be appealed to more by a wide range of options (like illustrations), while you might get more single-purchase customers if you only offer a limited range of options (like only icons).

Demographics also, of course, play a substantial role in just custom art commissions; furries get lauded as high spenders, but they're also a huge community that is focused around OCs, so by statistics alone they will have more people with spending money and will be frequent customers of people drawing OCs. A narrower audience means fewer people, but often the spread of the people within that audience is the same - and at the end of the day, selling an art piece only requires one other person, it's just a matter of happening to find them.

The follow up question is of course the finding: the average artist in fandom spaces selling commissions does not have the platform or budget for an ad campaign. This, however, is also its own category:

✨ Posting Online

Right out the gate: anyone who has told you that just drawing x thing is the way to get easy money is wrong.

"If you draw more fan art, you'll -" wrong.

"Nobody cares about that, you should be drawing this instead -" wrong.

"if you need to sell fast, just sell porn -" wrong. And also re-evaluate your perceived lack of quality or value about the subject.

The things you will be able to create easily and consistently will be the things YOU, SPECIFICALLY, like to create. It is also entirely impossible that you are the only person on earth to have ever liked those things, which means that if you create them, there are people out there who will enjoy them.

It feels itchy to be like "and those people are Potential Customers", but it is true; your work will resonate with people. They will want you to create it. It is vitally important to your own well being that the things you create, that you want others to enjoy, are things you enjoy as well.

(This is also why the "just draw porn" joking advice that gets tossed around is particularly fucked up. You as the artist should not feel forced into drawing things you aren't comfortable with, and the vast majority of customers for explicit content also don't want the people making it to feel forced into doing so. It's basic consent. I have strong feelings about this.)

If you are creating things and putting them out into the world, they will find an audience. That audience may be one singular person! The number does not matter, because that's still a person who - again, sucks to frame ig this way - has the potential to buy things from you.

If you're constantly chasing a bigger follower count, more interactions, etc etc for the future, it can genuinely be pretty taxing on the people who want to support you in the present. When you enjoy someone's work, and want to support them, being told constantly that that support is not good enough is frustrating. Trying to follow your work should not lead to seeing more "likes are WORTHLESS and NOBODY reblogs my things" posts than it does art. You are a person making things to share with other people, and you have to remember it or you will burn yourself out into a desiccated husk.

TL:DR consistency is key and the easiest way to be consistent is to just draw whatever the fuck you live drawing in whatever ways you want to draw it, and then slap it on the internet somewhere and Keep Doing That

✨ The Actual Commission Information

this one is just factual really. A lot of artists have really shitty commission sheet layouts, because advertising graphic design and illustrative art are different skill sets. That's fine. You don't have to remake the wheel. A good commission sheet should include:

More images than text (if you can't see what the examples are when zoomed out, you have to rearrange or cut down on words)

Examples organized by price / type, and clearly labeled

Your personal favourites for examples - one really strong example piece is better than twenty tiny images of work you think is just "okay"

Contact information - having a method that works WITHOUT a social media account (email.) Is important and way easier to keep organized, imo

A SIMPLE list of strengths (the things you draw the best) and things you won't draw (common example: mechs). You do not need to list every fandom or subject matter. Limit yourself to a top five.

A clear and easy to type link for your terms of service. Carrd, and sites like it, is good for this. This will go into details about your process, what you will and won't do, permissions granted to the commissioner (like "no, you can't make an NFT with this"), your privacy policy (saying you won't sell commissioner details to third parties), and other stuff. You do not want to have all of this on your original post, because it should be thorough and you want your main post to be showcasing your work and not your legalese. Here's mine as a reference; if you have trouble writing your own, feel free to copy from it and make the necessary alterations for your work.

✨ There Was More I Was Going To Write But I Forgot

I have a different document of commission related talk here, which is also incomplete but in a different way. It's in my nature. Hopefully some combination of this and that can be useful to you. Sorry if they're not. I love you have a nice day

[yumezaii]

Boob and dick headcanons for the LI !!

1) Sydney. Boob size is def pert-budding I can’t imagine them with anything bigger. Dick size would be 6 inches ish. 2) Robin. Boob size is a bit bigger then sydney modest or full perhaps? Dick size would be 5 inches. 3) Kylar. Boobs are TINY I can imagine they are very insecure because “how can I feed my future children” or something and think it’s not motherly idk. Dick size uhmmm normal for his size so slightly below average. 4) Whitney. Massive breasts because I say so. Dick size is either comically large or small. 5) Eden. Breasts are hard to pinpoint because I don’t play with them as a woman a lot….maybe ample? For dick size they are packing so like 7 inches. 6) Alex. Breasts would be modest I think….as for dick size 5-6 inches 7) Avery: Boobs are ample. Dick size is probably like 5 and a half. Or it shrunk with old age to be 3 inches… 8) Great Hawk. Ermmmm…boobs are flat. But dick is LARGE LARGE…legit hurts (8 inches) 9) Black Wolf: Same with Black Wolf but a bit larger dick. And also boobs are bigger by a bit.

[indigos-stardust]

New Four swords fic- Chapter 1

*I'd appreciate if u read it on a03 because that's where my tag/summary is but if you cant for whatever reason, I have it below this cut* thanks for any boost and comment <3

Roaming packs of monsters, ugh.  Usually, monsters tend to be attracted or even magically appear from places with plenty of darker energy. It could be some cursed and abandoned temple or some pit where someone died horribly. Maybe, there’d just be one huge monster claiming an area and its magical stink would attract a bunch of underlings.

Monsters aren’t exactly pack animals like wolves. They just follow whichever one’s the biggest and act purely based on greed and violence. They’re happy to follow orders as long as they get their cut. Which is usually the promise of fresh flesh. 

The scouts said the monsters were following paths. On a schedule. Almost like they’re planning and guarding. That…isn’t right. Something is definitely up. 

The worst part of it is that a lot of the paths they’re taking seem to be cutting off a random average sized fishing village to the south. Lutelin Village. Yeah, Green can see why they had been specifically called to handle this one.

Whatever they’re going to eventually face, it’ll probably seem like even an experienced knight’s worst nightmare. But they can handle it. After all, they’d handled far more with far less. This time they even have armor! The odds are far more in favor since their… “adventure.” Green can’t help but fidget with his fingers anyways.

He’s probably just out of practice, sure they had helped fight against the general excess of monsters but that was just dealing with monsters sprawled out everywhere. Not a real proper fight with layers to get to the final baddie. His gut flares with a hidden anxiety. 

It’ll be alright though, the others are literally following his back, and as much as it sucks that those villagers are probably having a hard time with travelling due to the monsters- This will be good for them! Well, Green and his uh, other selves, anyways. Besides, why would you possibly want “rest and relaxation” when you can just crush the ugly mug of some monster?

Okay, maybe he is spending too much time with Blue.

Either way they definitely have better odds! They’ll just find each band (two or three?) and take them down, easy peasy. 

Every step is going to take him closer after all, might as well keep his shoulders straight and his eyes on the horizon.  

Soft grass and weeds dance in the foothills, with a chilly autumn air as their partner. As much as the others are way too gripey in the early morning, Green knows getting them up early is definitely the right call! The soft crispness of the morning air energizes him with every breath! Practically music, in his humble opinion. 

Behind him, he can hear another kind of music. A playful punch to the shoulder, a content sigh, and a little laugh. Conversation that starts and pauses, only to start again. In and out, natural and welcoming. They have his back. 

They finally stop at the top of a particularly large hill; this is the spot the scouters said they’d seen the monsters the most. If Green looks to the West, he can see the beginning treeline of a dark and confusing magic-filled Lost Woods. He shudders. From what Vio described about the woods, it definitely doesn’t seem like the ideal spot for a stroll. Compared to their “adventure” and all they’ve experienced, the next few days will be easyyyy. 

They’ve barely settled into their spot when Vio, ever the watchful one, already spots a band of monsters practically marching together. A very large band of very angry looking monsters. Nearly time to fight. A cliffside looms in the distance, with the monsters in between them and it. 

“I’d say, I think we’re dealing with about eight or so stalfoes, two spear moblins, oh you’ve got to be kidding me at least two dozen,” Green squints, “uh, tiny plant things?”

Strange little hobbling plant monsters, with sharp teeth and leaves coming from a single bud supported by two stumpy legs, covered the ground near the other monsters. 

“Tiny plant things?’”

=====

For a place full of nothing but rolling hills, Vio sure is having quite a bit of difficulty finding enough room to fight. It’s ridiculous honestly, he and Green were supposed to take care of the stalfoes by directly fighting against them. Meanwhile, Blue and Red were meant dealing with those pesky small monsters that keep trying to bite their ankles! Or jump into their faces. It’s a bit hard to fight several monsters just taller than you while dealing with a bunch of faces full of teeth trying to lunge at you, afterall.

Not to mention, once they finally get in semi-decent positions the moblins thrust their giant axes right in the middle and scatter everyone all over again! He can hear the annoying squish and splatter of Blue’s hammer smashing into another one. 

Red’s fire rod is great at helping to keep the moblins away, but while you would think it’d be great for its intended purpose of burning those DAMN little plants monsters- All it really does is make all the grass around them catch on fire, not harming the stalfoes, and force them to bolt to a patch of rocks while they’re being chased. Of course, the little abominations climb up the stalfoes to stay safe from the fire. Fighting on the bumpy ground only makes things worse in their favor. He really wishes the darn things would be the ones stumbling and struggling for balance instead of themselves.  

Wait… This is a far rockier area- He can feel the rattling bones hit his shield once more as he grunts to shove it off. They all need to be knocked down. With the bit of distance he looks around, and there . A pile of rocks, leading up to a cliff. The cliff is extremely uneven at the top, but there is just enough clear space for a person at the top! 

Perhaps, possibly, it had been a bit of a.. Risky endeavor. The second there’s the smallest opening, he yells out, “Watch out for a minute!” and bolts to the cliff side. Ignoring Blue’s very p*ssed off , “h-HEY! Where the Hell are you going?!!” and Green’s surprise as he keeps on running. Every thump of his feet pushing off the earth ringing in his ears. Or maybe that’s just his heartbeat.

Just as he’s starting to climb up he can hear the rattling of a stalfoe and feel the bruising pain of those small monsters trying to reach his flesh under the armor. I just need to keep going , he thinks as he finishes pushing himself up and begins scrambling  for a new foothold as he simultaneously tries to shake off the miniature snapping beasts. Good thing his ears are protected by the chainmail underneath his cap. 

The crash and shattering of bones with a string of swears behind him urge him to go even further up. When the battle’s over, Blue is probably going to get him next. He hadn’t sounded particularly pleased about Vio, “DITCHING THEM WITHOUT WARNING LIKE A B****H*SS,” or whatever. Despite his current height bringing him farther from the battle ground, he can practically hear Green shout, “ LANGUAGE!!” in the middle of battle.

Finally, just as he nears the top he manages to shake the last of those damn pests off his leg and let his heaving lungs rest, if only for a second. Right, this needs to be quick. Forcing himself up, still struggling to breathe from the chaotic climb, Vio readies his bow. 

While the experience of fighting various types of monsters, for hours on their own, certainly gave them a lot of skill in adapting to the situation he has to admit—the items they gained, namely his fairy blessed bag of endless arrows, are also a huge plus. Sure, they aren’t as strong as a well crafted bow, but they are endless . In fact, he’d figured out that if he shoots two at once, even if that took a while to master, it’d do the same amount of damage!

He smirks to himself, aiming straight at a stalfoes that is creeping behind Green. With a snap, the stalfoe falls to the ground. The chaos of the battle field, swarming the others with monsters, moving from place to place… it’s familiar; it is a refreshing challenge. Others might’ve balked at the daunting task, but Vio is looking forward to it. It’s time to show off.

With the constant barrage of arrows knocking out stalfoes, allowing Red and Blue more room to work with and giving Green a much needed relief , the numbers begin to thin. He’s even able to start getting hits on the charging moblins, stunning them just long enough for a quick burn or slash on them. There are only a few straggling plant monsters as well. 

It’s wrapping up. Vio observes as the Moblin he shot finally falls to the ground. It is time to regroup. Or it would’ve been. 

He doesn’t know what he feels first. He can’t even think to process it. The tension of every single muscle spasming. Millions of needles endlessly searing into his flesh. From the inside and outside. Little pieces of him, like miniature marbles bursting outward. The shock of the constant repeated force fracturing and fracturing. The burning in his chest, he can’t breathe. 

It’s so, so much, it’s too much. Without a single thought, other than the sensation of indescribable pain, he falls silently down the cliff. Even as his body crashes down onto the unforgiving rocks it still spasms. Red screams before Blue and Green even see what happened.

—--------------------------------

I can’t! No, no, no, no, no, no!!!! Red can’t panic right now, but by Hylia does he want to scream and selfishly look away-

It was horrible, and he saw every second of it. He had stepped back for just a moment, to chug a magic energizing potion. They still had more monsters to fight, after all, and his magic stores were nearly drained from using the rod so much. But then he saw a spark to his right, all the way up where Vio had gone. A sparkling, bright white yellow light, blasting into Vio’s back. Now, he watches.  

Vio looks like he’s choking, like every single bit of him was choking and dying . His piercing scream is silently cut off, and then he falls . He falls and falls until his back hits the rocks and he goes stumbling down, blood splattering against the rocks. Red doesn’t want to know where it’s all coming from. And then Vio is there, sprawled on the ground, a horrible finale. He’s still screaming. 

No, no Vio isn’t the one who’s screaming. He can see his bloody face against the dirt. Red is. 

Blue grabs his arm, nearly shaking him as he tells him to LOOK before he runs off to Vio. Red’s shaking, then he follows Green’s startled eyes they lead back to the top of the cliff. He can only stare as a hulking Darknut trudges behind a row of stubby moblin archers, and even more stalfoes that have already begun jumping off to attack them. Oh, and a bunch of tektites. Because, well, why not at this point?

 Red usually tries to stay optimistic, because you can’t get anything done if you always have a bad attitude all the time for no reason but- Honestly? He’s pretty sure he hates EVERYTHING right now. It’s, it’s alright though- They, they’ve got him- Well, well they all would if Vio was down. But, it isn’t the time to focus on that, they have to keep them away from Vio and defeat them! 

Just because he’s terrified that Vio could be dying this very second, doesn’t mean he can just start crying when they need him! He will go on, and he will be hopeful! Because Green and Blue need him, and they trust him to at least support them! Red refuses to let them down. Even if he really wants to go cry in a hole right now. 

Green screams at Blue, “ DON’T MOVE HIM! We need to get them away from him, Red get here and create a blast! Cut them off!”

Red’s already sprinting. Blue’s hammer smashes into another stunned skull from Green’s boomerang. They’re working to get the monsters away from Vio. The second he arrives the entire earth THUDS as the colossal Darknut finally joins the battle. It’s beady eyes, under its helmet land on Red. 

“HEYYYY!!!, come here you, uh, you ugly face!!!” The monster trudges forward, away from Vio and towards him. The Colossal Axe glistens, ready to slice into him in seconds. 

“Yeahh!” Red waves his fire rod, sparkling in the burning sunlight, like a shiny fish in front of a starved beast. “Come here!!!”

The axe whizzes through the air with the speed of a bolt of lightning, ready to spear him into two. Red barely dodges. Before the monstrosity can take an even more petrifying swing, Green’s magical boomerang connects. The powerful thing freezes the beast for a valuable 5 seconds. 

Within those 5 seconds a few things happen. A small series of whistles rings throughout the battle field within seconds, a code that only they know.  During their quest, they had learned that just yelling out to each other with their own plans always ended up poorly. Maybe, they were all just too stubborn in their own plans, but it definitely wasn’t helped by the fact they could barely hear each other at times. Sensitive Hylian ears or not, in the midst of battles words become drowned out easily. 

Green’s message, a mix of quick patterns, order: B-G- Core Threats & Close Combat- R- Long Distance Quick. Blue and Green would take care of the strongest enemies and the ones that required close combat. Red would take care of the archers,as fast as possible so he could provide them aid. He could run and prepare ahead just on instinct before he even processed it. It was a mercy, afterall… Every second in a battle is precious, especially with someone left in total vulnerability. 

Red breathes in, the blins are readying their bows.  Then exhales, a small yet vicious blast of fire spirals forward causing at least two of them to shriek as they desperately try to put themselves out. His shield is already out by the time the other three’s arrows have hit his shield. As much as Red would prefer to shoot more and scorch them while going in and out, that just wasn’t an option. The best way to stop them from shooting far out into the others, was to get in the way before they could do that. 

Red forces his way through with his shield to break their line and immediately his sword lunges straight into the throat of one of those wretched things. He has to take care of the other monsters, but Red let’s himself smile a moment at the sign of the bubbling blood. Good . He hoped that was the one that shot Vio. 

He has to dodge back quickly in the next moment though, despite the moblins having nothing but bows and arrows, that didn’t make them useless in the slightest. While the armor would definitely protect him from slashes it certainly wouldn’t protect him from their nasty claws aiming at his throat and eyes. 

He hacks away at another one that leapt out in front of him before he even got the chance to orient himself. Keep it steady, keep the pace and breathe. Red tries to slash at one of the monster’s belly, but he’s off balance by one of the burnt ones slashing at his leg! I really need to do better!! Red mentally slapped himself, how’d that one even get there? He seriously needed to keep track of everything or else he’d be hit in his blind spot again. Next time may not be so lucky. His free foot crushes the bastard's neck as he blocks more scrabbling claws away with his shield. 

Red is skewering the one that he had shoved off when he sees the two remaining unburnt monsters dashing toward him with arrows in their hands. What the hell? Oh, the arrows were sparkling yellow with the same crackling sound as a bomb about to burst. It was familiar. Vio . 

All three are charging and from the looks of it they’re trying to trap him with two heading up to his sides and the first one straight in front of him. Red charges right back at the right one bashing into it’s skull with his sword and spinning around, sword first, to face the others. It’s BURNING-  

His sword clumsily sliced into an arm, but the arrows- Those arrows, the moment of contact of it against his own sword make his arm convulse in pain as he yells out. Red’s sword is on the ground. The monster, reeling from its own pain, slashes back at him. Thankfully his armor prevents it from truly getting him. It’ll definitely bruise though. The pain threatens to bring him down, but gasping for air with teary eyes he forces his wobbly legs up anyways. Like the lightning wizzrobe- This doesn’t make sense- Oh great fairies please-

Red knows the dangers of magical exhaustion, he’d lived through it several times on their quest. Vio’s words echoed in his mind, “ Take care to not overdo it! Potions may provide a great boost and aid in recovery, but your body still needs time. You’re exhausted… Green was right about how dangerous it is, besides-” and then Vio softly grinned, “ If you’re too tired who’s going to keep us going? We need your laughter, alright?”

He can already feel the aching soreness creeping on the edge of his fingers. He grabs the rod anyways, and this time there’s a blast. Red doesn’t know quite how it’s happening, but the strange arrows seem to make the flames stronger. They topple onto the Earth and the last half-dead burnt straggler has finished crawling its way to him. Red’s sword in his uninjured hand stabs into the beast’s guts with a wet sound. It dies slowly, scraping at his feet desperate to fight until it's inevitable death. Then, just like the others it rapidly deteriorates into a puddle of steaming filth on the ground. 

[kylestfs]

New whip! !!Pm me for more pictures of him and for any requests!! Harvey, a 19-year-old skinny straight man, had been looking for a car online for several weeks. He had been accepted to a new college far from his home and inaccessible by public transportation.

After much searching, he finally found a deal and booked an appointment for the day college started, but luckily for him, school started at 11 a.m. that day. The car was a 2018 Nissan Altima with only 45k miles for just under $21,000. It had everything he wanted, a sunroof, navigation, heated seats and was in great condition.

Upon contacting the seller, Harvey noticed that he was quite unprofessional, said "bro" in every sentence, and didn't even have basic grammar skills. Nevertheless, he decided to make an appointment to see the car in person.

**Day of appointment**;

Harvey had taken the bus to get to the seller's house. When he arrived, he saw the sedan parked in a driveway. He made his way to the door, and without ringing the bell, a muscular athlete who appeared to be about his age opened the door, and Harvey was hit by a smell of manly musk coming off from the jock himself & his house. "Hey bro, the name's Kyle. You here for da whip?" "Hello, my name is Harvey, I'm here for the Nissan, yes."

They talked about the car for a while, the jock showing him the trunk, the interior, and everything he needed. Harvey was in love with the car, and he wanted it as soon as possible, which he did. Harvey bought the Altima and was super excited to drive his very first car. "Alright bro, it was great showing you the car, you'll see, it's life changing dude." Kyle said, full well knowing what was about to happen to Harvey. After completing the paperwork, Harvey left the sportsman's house, ready for a 30-minute drive to college.

As he drove off, Harvey noticed a really strong and ripe smell inside the car that smelled like the locker room at his former school. He thought it was gross, but he didn't think much of it either. As he drove, he felt like the smell was getting stronger. The ripe smell was seeping into his body from every hole, and he'd soon be changing just 5 minutes into the ride.

First, his odorless and small feet grew, so much that he had to replace his feet on the pedals. Then his shoes completely burst because of how big his feet were getting. Harvey was now riding barefoot, his new size 15 feet looking ridiculous compared to his small body. Next up were his legs. He used to have small, dainty and tiny legs, but that was about to change. They were getting stronger and gaining muscles that only someone who works out can have. Harvey kept driving, oblivious to what was going on, only focusing on the locker room, musky smell of his new to him car.

As Harvey's legs began to grow, he strangely didn't feel his below-average butt growing as well. His butt was getting rounder and bigger, landing over-average sized but still not too huge. Even if it wasn't as big as it could be, it could still be seen through any kinds of pants and be able to bounce whenever he would walk. Harvey was now extremely attracted to the scent, having a full on boner because of it. He kept inhaling it vigorously, which spurred his transformation even faster.

His penis and balls were rapidly changing and enlarging, his previously extremely small 3 inch boner was growing, but surprisingly it wasn't growing too much. He ended up at a better, but still way below average 4.5 inches, with a set of still-ridiculous balls that looked like they hadn’t even dropped, and were barely even bigger than before.

Harvey now had the lower body of an athlete, and obviously his transformation didn't stop there. "Bro I love this car!" Harvey said, he had never ever said "bro" before, but it just seemed natural to him, he didn't even question it. His previously flat stomach changed, again very quickly, as he inhaled more and more musk. It quickly became a pronounced 4-pack, with a pair of small, tight, but muscular pecs growing over it. Harvey's nipples grew and became large, sensitive chorizos. As he got another powerful sniff, his arms grew larger. His biceps and triceps grew larger until they were truly impressive and strong. "DUDE, I'M RIPPED", he said. His once hairless armpits grew dark bushes of hair, but that wasn't the only part of his body that got hairier. His bubble butt, feet, legs, arms, and crotch grew, and all that hair produced, of course... a lot of musk. As a result, his body started to smell pretty bad. His feet, which were odorless before, now permanently stank of cheese and sweat, having a disgusting scent that would be highly noticable whenever he would remove his shoes. his armpits now stank too, but with a less strong and noticeable odor than his feet, and it had notes of body odor and sweat. "PFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" Harvey's bubble butt now started to smell really bad, a strong odor of manly, teenage fart would now be coating it forever, all that butt stink would be caused by him bursting horrible smelling protein farts every 10 minutes. Harvey didn't even notice his new musk, so he didn't say anything.

Now that Harvey really smelled like a 19-year-old college teenager, his head was the only thing he had left, and... his memories, of course.

His head, tiny but filled with an intelligent brain, was growing, but his brain, on the other hand... shrank. Harvey was getting dumber by the second, his grade point average dropping from A+ to C-. Any trace of knowledge about personal hygiene faded as he now barely even brushed his teeth once a day, but he didn't care, he was hot anyway. His former good driving skills were also fading and being replaced by new bad driving skills. One of the biggest changes was probably his sexuality as well. Before, he had been as straight as a board, but while he was driving, he quickly started staring at other boys. He thought to himself how good it would be to sniff their armpits, "Damn, that guy looks so hot dude" he also stared at their butts, imagining what it would be like to have a boy penetrate his own round, musky jock butt. "Look at that fine piece of ass, I hope something even bigger is on his front" Harvey's heterosexuality faded, into another one of his loud and foul-smelling fart, adding on to the locker room scent of the car, while homosexuality slowly took over. As his sexual desires changed, he felt shame wash over him from his penis being under average, but also felt proud that his butt was big, he'd realise that he would need it alot.

More changes happened in Harvey's head when he was only a few blocks away from his college. His teeth straightened and became a winning smile, his jawline became sharper and more attractive, and his hair turned brown and transformed into a fluffy, attractive teenage cut that was usually very sweaty. His neck thickened while his voice deepened. "I'm so hot bro, I'll find a gir-...boyfriend so easily this year, I just need my buns to get filled.." “fu-fuck….i think ones coming….” "PTTTTTFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSStttttt" His rotten egg fart scent was now taking over. while the final changes took place Harvey pulled into the parking lot and parked his car, not even on the white lines. He got out of the car, obviously knowing that his ridiculous 2 inch soft penis was visible through his shorts, but he didn’t care one bit. He walked to the school building, having no memories of his previous life, his ass leaving a trail of fart stink behind him.

@tfmybody enjoy your body, filthy jock

commission #1

You can shoot me a dm concerning anything, if you want any questions or specifications about it, do not hesitate!

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The Silver Star Heist

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)    

“Doors are now closing.”

On the world of Praxon it is a miracle that any life evolved at all, let alone becoming an interstellar space faring species.

The landscapes are dotted with vast deserts where the temperatures reach an average of 150 degrees on a cool day. Only the hardiest of creatures survive here and more often are reduced to scavenger and predatory habits. What few habitable areas the planet held were scattered around atop vast mountain ranges holding the only cool climates on the surface.

For centuries each community was isolated from each other by the harsh deserts leaving many to believe they were the only inhabitants of the planet. Many that tried crossing the deserts on foot or by the air were never seen again, and because of the shifting dunes that stretched for miles below the surface digging tunnels was never even an option. Only after a sophisticated rail network was established over the sands, buoyed by specialized pillars that only rested on the sands as a train passed over it, were the communities able to connect with each other and develop as a species.

One such train Tinch found himself hastily dashing into as the departure chimes sounded off.

Tinch watched as the final stragglers scrambled for the train doors only to be met with despair as they closed shut. He listened to the pressure seals kicking in as they continued fruitlessly banging on the window before mockingly giving them a wave as the train pulled out of station. There was only one train line leading from Deep Down to Crystal City and the next one around wouldn’t be for another two hours.

Walking down the corridor Tinch searched for an empty seat to sit on. He preferred being at the front of the train that way he could get off faster but found his progress blocked as he neared the front.

A security official stepped into the corridor. “Front of train closed.” They said dismissively. “Go somewhere else.”

Tinch peered over his shoulder and saw several more similarly dressed officials loitering around and then looked back at the one blocking his path. “But there are three more cars ahead?” Tinch protested. The official grabbed Tinch by the collar and hoisted him an inch off the ground.

“What part of “Closed” do you not understand?”

He shoved Tinch back and he stumbled into the connection tube lining. He could feel the heat through the material and recoiled instantly. Looking back at the guard with a scowl he went back the way he came into the middle passenger cars.

The middle cars were packed half full and to Tinch’s misfortune it seemed the majority were mothers with infants who seemed intent to shatter the glass with their screams. Taking a seat Tinch looked out the window as the rolling dunes sped passed in blurs. It was only by watching these shapeless mounds moving by that he noticed something strange blob approaching from off in the distance.

Tinch squinted against the glare of the suns on it trying to focus on it more. It looked like a small grey slug, but with each passing dune it was slowly growing in size and in detail. The unknown object pulled up alongside the speeding train car when Tinch finally saw what it really was.

A space ship?

Tinch was puzzled since they were far from the planet’s spaceport and there was no other form of air travel around the planet due to the extreme heat temperatures.

Several other passengers were now seeing the space ship flying alongside them and flocked to the side windows to watch it. The craft was a sleek design with almost organic curves Tinch had never seen before with a large insect like dome on the front of the ship which he imagined was the cockpit.

As they all watched the spaceship it suddenly increased speed and overshot the car making for the head of the train leaving the rest of the passengers to talk amongst themselves. Tinch leaned into the window but couldn’t see the ship anymore and wondered what was going on.

Suddenly the entire train jerked as if struck by something. The passengers who had been milling about stopped talking and began looking about themselves when another shudder rocked the train.

Tinch was shaken from his seat as the children began crying once more and stepped back into the middle aisle. He was carefully stepping around several passengers when a series of shouts ran out from the front cars.

These shouts grew louder in volume when suddenly plasma shots rang out and the passengers all started screaming and diving for cover. Tinch was thrown down into a row of seats colliding rather harshly with their current occupants. Hunched over he couldn’t see the cab door open leading to the front cars but heard it just before another series of plasma shots went off.

“Everyone down!”

Tinch flinched at the shouting but was confused by it. It was Praxon but it sounded muddled and slurred.

Peering over the lip of the seats Tinch saw a strange figure standing in the doorway. They were wearing a set of bright white baggy clothing that obscured most of the wearers features, but judging by size alone this hostile person was not Praxon themselves. They were easily two to three feet shorter than Tinch and he was considered short amongst his people.

The figure turned to Tinch, having noticed him blindly staring at him for several seconds with his head perked over the top of the seats, and pointed their gun at him.

“I said get the fuck down now!”

They fired a plasma shot right into the chair Tinch was hiding behind missing his face by inches. He recoiled from the shot and hid himself down in the floor as the figure began talking into some sort of short wave radio.

“You said this was a cargo train only, but I’ve got half a car filled with passengers here.”

There was some response on the device but Tinch couldn’t make it out. Nether-the-less whatever the other receiver had said clearly upset the gun waving maniac.

“No, you do not get to change the plan on us last minute. You said there would be no one here but security…”

Another reply cut them off before they could finish their thought.

“But if we do that…”

The voice was louder this time and Tinch imagined that whoever the other end was were not happy and were shouting down this gun totting hijacker.

The line went dead and the hijacker sighed loudly.

Without saying a word they retreated back towards the front of the train while closing the connecting doors and locking them. Seeing their chance Tinch stood up and shouted “Back of the train! Get to the back of the train now!” and began ushering the passengers away.

The passengers devolved into a panic stricken mob as they scrambled over each other to flee towards the back of the train. Tinch was the last to leave after ensuring everyone else made it out when he looked out the window to see the strange spaceship again peeling away from the train and making straight skywards to higher orbit.

None of what happened made sense to Tinch.

Why would they break on to a speeding train only to leave minutes afterwards? Who would be stupid enough to risk such a dangerous and potentially suicidal task? Why did they flee after the radio discussion?

All valid questions that Tinch would take to his grave, as the train suddenly skipped off the tracks and went headfirst into the surrounding sand dunes going 150 mph. ------------

“Why did you do that!?”

Hank grabbed Mable and threw her across the table. She struck a cabinet housing some rather expensive looking empty bottles before tumbling to the ground.

“I told you there were people onboard and that we had to abandon the job!”

Mable rose to her feet and brushed the bits of broken glass out of her hair. “And I told you that crashing the train into the dunes was the only way to cover up the job.”

“But the people-“

“Oh shut the fuck up!”

Mable’s comment infuriated Hank with its almost inhuman lack of sympathy. Mable was not bogged down by such things like he was and continued cutting him down to size.

“You got on this job for the money and you completed it. Go home and smile as that fat pay out kicks in and clears out your debts.”

She pointed down at the view screen showing a news feed from the world they just escaped from.

“By now they will be investigating this as a train pillar failure instead of a bank heist, and by the time they realize their shipment of gems didn’t get buried in the sands we’ll be long gone.”

Hank wanted to curse her, to grab her by the neck and twist until whatever demons were inside her popped out; but he couldn’t. She was right, no matter how much he hated to think on it.

His crew had gotten in and stolen the shipment of rare gems being transported by courier and the crash had hidden any traces of them having dealt with the security detail in the process. What he was furious about was the fact Mable failed to mention that the rear cars were also transport cars holding dozens of civilians. She had told him that it was useless goods and wares being moved between cities.

It was already farfetched that anyone would bring a spaceship alongside a moving speed train, board it, kill a heavily armed security detail, and then escape with a fortune’s worth of gems before collapsing a bridge pillar to cover their tracks. If anything the government was likely to issue a statement declaring the entire event an accident due to crumbling infrastructure and finding out it was a heist three years in the making.

Still, when he had seen those passengers and the look of terror on their faces he knew deep down that none of them were going to make it out alive.

He hoped that the money might fill the hole in his body where his soul once was, because he felt like he had lost it that day.