#p1 dude x reader

[orisquirrelking]

GUH THE POSTAL DUDE HOW DOES HE KISS?? I NEED TO KNOW

You didn’t specify *which* dude so ur getting all of them + Fancy

How the Dudes (+ Fancy Dude) kiss

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P1/Redux

P1 Dude is very tender. He’ll slowly lean in, nervous each and every time he attempts to kiss you, treating it as the first and last time he has ever touched you. His breath will hitch before your lips connect, his lips capturing yours softly. His palms will be sweaty as they roam around your upper body, before finally settling on cupping your cheeks in his hands.

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P2

P2 Dude is fiery and impatient. There often won’t be a warning before he crashes his lips into yours, but since he’s so sporadic and impulsive, you’ll often be bumping your noses together by accident before you can actually get to the good part. His tongue will be greedily lapping at your lips, hinting at them to part. His arms are wrapped around your torso, mostly for his balance but also to bring the two of you closer.

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P3

P3 Dude is damn enthusiastic, and a little (a lot) messy. Coming home from an odd job to see you is the best part of the day. You’ll have barely let him into your shared home before his head is over your shoulder and his hands are squeezing your ass. He’ll trail kisses up from your chin to your cheekbone before repeatedly pecking at your lips. He can’t help it, you’re just so irresistible!

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P4

P4 Dude is very experienced, and very, very stimulating. He’s sloppy and confident, his lips devouring yours as he grins into each open mouthed kiss. Blood rushes through his veins as he slips his hands into your hair, lightly tugging at your roots before he starts trailing his hands and kisses down your body, stopping at the centre of your belly to blow raspberries into it, sending the both of you into giggling fits. He’s very unserious, but still puts all of his feelings into his physical actions.

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BD/Alt Dude

BD and Alt dude work in tandem, the two of them working at once to lavish you in attention. BD Dude is more apprehensive, his kisses light and feathery as he mostly pays attention to your collarbones. His lips are often chapped, and his kisses are slightly moist as he constantly licks them to rehydrate. Alt Dude is more reassured in himself, taking his time to taste you as he explores your mouth, committing the quirk of your lips, the clashes of your teeth, and the small breaths you take to memory. They’re not a bad tag-team, especially when they get along.

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Bonus: Fancy Dude/Percy

Percy will start off with the slightest hint of anxiety in his otherwise confident presentation, with that quickly melting away into eager humming as he presses himself against you. He’s heated but not a fan of messy make-outs, instead opting to softly pull away and linger, his breath hot on your face before he leans back in, his hands clasping yours. He also prefers to have you pressed into *something,* whether that be a wall or a mattress.

[blackenedsnow]

Hi! I really like the way you write! I would like to make a request. I would love if you could write about P1 Dude cuddling and comforting the reader (his partner) about their struggles with trauma and psychosis. I feel like he would understand these things. The context would be that the person was completely unsupported most of their life and is trying to come to terms with these things, but is scared to open up about it.

held together

WARNING: Mentions of trauma and psychosis, discussion of mental health struggles

PAIRING: Postal (1) Dude x Reader

NOTE: To anyone dealing with trauma and psychosis. I know it's incredibly tough, but you don’t have to face it alone. You deserve love, support, and understanding, just like anyone else. Stay strong—you’ve got this. Take care of yourself!

SUMMARY: You’ve always carried the weight of your trauma and psychosis alone. But Dude has always known more than he lets on.

The house was still, save for the faint hum of the refrigerator in the next room. The silence weighed on your chest as you sat on the couch, knees pulled up against your chest, staring blankly at the wall. You had been lost in your thoughts for what felt like hours, though time had become a blur.

Dude was there, seated beside you, but his presence was quiet, patient. You hadn’t said much—hadn’t been able to. The disarray in your mind made it hard to find the words. Years of trauma, of trying to survive without support, had left you feeling broken in ways you couldn’t explain.

“You’re real quiet tonight,” Dude finally said, his voice low and rough, but there was no edge to it. He wasn’t prying, just observing.

You hugged your knees tighter, your heart pounding in your chest. There were things you wanted to say—things you needed to say—but the fear of being misunderstood, of being seen as broken, kept your lips sealed. You had spent so long keeping these parts of yourself hidden, terrified of how others would react if they knew.

Dude shifted beside you, leaning forward slightly, resting his arms on his knees. He didn’t look at you directly, but you could feel his attention, his quiet support. He didn’t push you to talk. He never did.

Maybe that was why, of all people, you could almost imagine opening up to him.

“You know…” His voice broke the silence again, soft, contemplative. “I get it. What it’s like to be in your head, and not have anyone really get it. Most people… they can’t handle that shit.” He paused, glancing sideways at you. “But I’m not most people... you know..”

You looked at him then, your gaze meeting his. There was something in his eyes—something raw, real. He wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better. He knew. He understood in a way no one else ever had.

The weight of his words made your chest tighten, but this time it wasn’t from fear. It was something else—something that felt like a mix of relief and terror, like you were standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing that if you jumped, he would catch you.

But the jump was still terrifying.

“I… don’t know where to start,” you finally whispered, your voice barely audible.

He nodded, like he understood that, too. “You don’t have to. We’ll start wherever you’re ready.”

The lump in your throat grew, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. “It’s just… everything’s so messed up. My head… I can’t tell what’s real half the time. And it’s like… no one’s ever understood. They just… left.”

The words spilled out, shaky and raw, and you felt your chest tighten with anxiety. You’d never admitted any of this out loud before. Talking about the delusions, the paranoia, the way your mind twisted reality until you couldn’t trust anything or anyone… it was too much for most people.

But Dude didn’t flinch. He didn’t look at you like you were crazy or broken. Instead, he leaned back, resting his arm on the back of the couch, and let out a low breath.

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost reflective. “It’s like living in a bad dream you can’t wake up from. Everything’s off, and you’re just trying to hold it together while the world acts like you’re the one losing it.”

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes despite your efforts to hold them back. “I… I’ve never had anyone to talk to about it. I’m scared that… if I let it all out, I’ll lose it. And then… then what?”

Dude was silent for a moment, then he shifted closer, his hand resting on your knee—firm, grounding. “You’re not gonna lose it,” he said, his voice steady, certain. “Not with me here. I’m not going anywhere.”

His touch was solid, real, pulling you back from the edge of the spiral your thoughts were leading you down. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you had to fight your mind alone. He was there, steady and unshaken by the storm in your head.

“You don’t have to hold it together all the time,” he added, his thumb brushing lightly against your knee. “You’re allowed to let shit out. I’ve seen worse... I think.”

You let out a small, shaky laugh. The way he said it—like it was no big deal, like he wasn’t afraid of your head—made something inside you ease, just a little.

“I don’t wanna scare you off,” you whispered, though part of you knew by now that he wouldn’t be scared away. Not by this.

Dude snorted softly. “If I was gonna get scared off, it would’ve happened a long time ago.” His voice softened, and he looked at you more closely. “You don’t have to hide that stuff from me. I’ve seen the worst of it, and I’m still here.”

There was a weight in his words, a history that you knew he carried too. He was saying it to comfort you—but he was also saying it because he lived it. You knew about his struggles, his own mind playing tricks on him, pushing him to the edge more times than he could count.

And yet, he was here. Still fighting. Still living.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, feeling a little lighter, like maybe—just maybe—you didn’t have to carry all of this alone anymore.

“Thanks,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. It wasn’t enough to express everything you felt, but it was all you could manage for now.

He didn’t need more than that. Instead, he just gave your knee a reassuring squeeze and leaned back into the couch, pulling you gently into his side. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, firm and warm, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself relax into the comfort of someone who truly understood.

The noise in your mind didn’t disappear. It never would. But for now, with him beside you, it didn’t feel so overwhelming.

[sil3ntfr34k]

very politely on my hands and knees asking for an postal headcanons you have i adore your writing

More Postal Headcanons!!!1!!1!

(also im doing mostly P1 bc he's infecting my head meat with his worms)

The day that P1 Dude snapped and killed everyone was because he thought someone was following him, which he wasn't wrong. Someone was following home, but he just never gets out so he didn't know that it was just someone who lived in his neighborhood. INSTANTLY thought that the 'infected one's' where finally gonna kill him.

P1 wears a trench coat bc it makes him feel safe. It covers most of his body and has a lot of pockets to put his trinkets and weapons in.

P1 also loved English class when he was younger. Read a lot of books before his love for literature lead him to read about more graphic things like war documentaries and medical books sometime in middle school

Dude relies heavily on Champ. Since he sometimes sees things that aren’t there, he looks at Champ and tries to motion to what he’s seeing. If Champ doesn’t react he knows that what he’s seeing is fake, and vice versa of Champ doesn’t react. Dude has a really hard time handling himself if Champ isn’t with him, which is why having a day job for him is extremely hard.

Doesn't listen to music, raw dogs life. He knows popular artist like Taylor Swift and stuff, but just knows the name, he do has no idea who's face is who's or anything. Just the name

P2 Dude actually enjoys killing people! He has his calm moments, but nothing makes him happier than shooting someone's head off just for giving him rattitude. Very self-liberating to 'put an asshole in his place'

P4 dude is so ready to settle already. After everything he's been through, he wants to just have a stable place to call home and have someone who will take care of him bc GOD KNOWS he can't do it himself.

Champ is older with p4 Dude, so Dude tries to play with him at least a little a day and give him a treat when he can't spend time with him bc he know's champ's life is probably gonna end soon

Postal Dude is just that trope where he starts off too energetic and wild and then calms down later in life. It's probably annoying but it's the best for him.

[psychopunky]

Rats Nest

Summery: Dudes hair is in danger of becoming matted.

Words: 2,700ish

Tags: fluff, no y/n, kissing 🫣

Notes: I looked at to much P1 art. This is on my AO3 as well.

“Come on, I promise I’ll do my best to make it painless.” trying to convince the man in front of you. Both of you are still in pj’s as the afternoon sun shines outside. Sitting on the bed you looked up at the taller man keeping a smile on your face. His long red hair was past his shoulders. It was a known fact that he hadn’t showered for a while. He had spent a good chunk of this month in bed. It was ok though everyone has bad days. What was important now was getting him to sit down. What wasn’t ok was the giant rats nest in his hair.

He stared at you unmoving for a few moments. Then his eyes went to the hairbrush, bottles and towel next to you on the bed. “If we don’t do it now it will grow into full blown matting.” Begging you pat your thighs, spreading your legs a little to make room for him. He didn’t say anything or move, making you worried. Approaching this situation delicately was hard. Almost wanting to hold him down and forcefully untangle his hair but that wasn’t the right thing to do.

He took a step forward making you hold your breath. Watching as he shuffles the few steps towards you. He kneels down between your legs before sitting with his back to you. He was tense and he sat stiff back straight. Reaching out, placing your hands on his shoulders. He somehow tensed up even more at your touch.

Squeezing his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. Digging your thumbs into his shoulders you rub carefully. “I’m not going to bite.” Trying to joke with him. The words seem to work a little as he snorted his shoulders slumping a little. “I might like it.” He joked back his voice a low mumble. Chuckling at his words you pick up the towel next to you. Lifting his hair up you put the towel on his shoulders.

Once the towel was fixed you dropped his hair. Grabbing a spray bottle next to you. Looking up to catch him looking back over his shoulder at you. “It’s leave in conditioner. It will help make your hair soft and easy to untangle.” He turned his head back to face forward. Grabbing the ends of his hair you start to spray a generous amount. Working your way up to his roots. You place a hand on his head making him tilt his head back. “Wanna take your glasses off before I spray more? You’re going to have to close your eyes anyway so I don’t accidentally get any in your eyes.”

His head was tilted back enough for you to see his face. He didn’t move right away, likely thinking it over. Leaning down slowly you press a kiss to his temple. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I just don’t want them to get dirty. I know how important they are.” Looking at the sunglasses that sit on his face. It almost felt like the glasses were a part of him at this point. Sitting up straight you place a hand on his forehead. Trying to block out the spray so it didn’t get on his face.

Spraying his roots you tried to be careful. He moved slowly, reaching up and pulling off his glasses. Humming in delight you kept to your work, maybe overdoing it with the spray but his hair was almost matted. Finishing with the spray you set it aside. Moving your hands to the sides of his head you tilt his head back to look at you again. His green eyes looked exhausted. His sleep had been horrible, plagued by nightmares and insomnia.

Leaning down with a smile before kissing his forehead again. “There’s my pretty boy.” Cooing at him a tiny lopsided grin coming to his lips. The conditioner needs time to work so you took the chance to shower him in affection. Leaning over as much as you could. Kissing the tip of his nose. Moving to kiss his cheek his arm came up. Wrapping under your thigh effectively making your leg rest on his shoulder. His hand grabbed at the meat of your thigh. He turned his face away from the kiss, the smile vanishing. “I’m gross.” He spoke quietly. A man of few words but the message was clear.

He didn’t want your affection thinking he was too gross for you. He did smell and had a layer of grease buildup all over him. “Hey…” Speaking softly, your hands were still on his head. Gently pushing his head to make him look at you again. He gave in easily, turning his head to look up at you. “It happens even if you're gross I still love you. I just want to make sure you’re ok.” His grip on your thigh tightened his fingers digging into your skin. His nails threatened to break skin. His green eyes looked away from you, unable to meet your gaze.

It was a mystery what he thought of things. It was a challenge to get his feelings out. So you just waited for him to decide what he wanted. The conditioner still needs a bit of time so you could wait. Sitting you straight moving your hands off his head. His free hand shot up, grabbing your wrist and keeping one hand in place. Your hand was pressed into the side of his head, your fingertips resting on his cheek. Carefully you rub your thumb over his cheekbone. His eyes flutter closed as he leaned into your touch. His grip on your thigh loosened until his hand just rested on top of it. Red marks from his nails appeared on your skin.

“I’m still gross.” He kept a firm grip on your wrist not letting you pull your hand away. Conditioner was very much getting on your arms and legs now. That doesn’t matter you would clean up later. “Hmm does that mean I can’t give you kisses?” You asked. He brought his eyes back to look up at you. “That means I can't kiss you like ever.” Moving your fingers you give his cheek a pinch. The pale skin turns red when you let go. He grimaces for a moment but doesn’t pull away. Staying silent at your words you take a chance. Leaning down, pressing a quick kiss to the reddening area. He didn’t pull away or protest, just lets out a sigh.

“I’m allowed to kiss?” You tease, pressing another kiss to his cheek. “Fine.” His voice is hardly audible in the quiet room. Snickering at his words you move your free arm. Cradling his head as you press a big exaggerated kiss to his cheek. Even making sure to make cartoonish kissing noises. “Agh…” He groaned, unable to get away from you. When you pulled back you could see the tiny smile on his lips. Sitting up straight you untangle your arm from him. Making him let go of your wrist. Feeling around on the bed you find the hair brush. Putting a hand on his head made him look down. He let out a grumble but stayed still. Letting you silently order him around.

Picking up his long hair you gather it in one hand. Holding onto it with a tight grip about half way down. Trying not to pull his hair as you held it. With your other hand you grip the hair brush. Starting at his split ends you carefully run the brush through the ends. The brush snagged a few small tangles but it wasn’t anything bad. Moving the brush higher to meet your other hand. Catching a big knot in the middle of his hair. Winching when the brush snagged it, thinking you hurt him. When you checked on him he didn’t flinch or pull away. Just sitting silently between your legs. His arm was still wrapped around your thigh. His hand started idlily rubbing your thigh. He was looking blankly at the wall in front of him.

This time with extra care you start at the ends of his hair. Slowly working your way up with each brush. Encountering the big knot again you worked at the edges of it. Stopping momentarily to add some hair oil. Having bought it specifically for this moment. Adding it onto the knot then using your fingers to rub it in. When you pulled your hand away you went to grab the brush but paused. Your hand was oily and the other was holding his hair. Stuck frozen for a moment as you didn’t know what to do. That’s when you saw the towel you had put on his shoulders. Reaching out you wipe your fingers on it.

Feeling your hand he reaches back grabbing your hand. Turning his head he pressed his lips to your palm. Kissing your palm with his rough lips. Feeling his breath tickle your hand along with the scratch of his stubble. His goatee was sticking every which way. Stubble had started to grow for a beard he normally didn’t care for. It had been a tough month more mentally than physically. He let go of your hand pulling his lips away. Taking a moment to rake your fingers over his scalp as you pull your hand back. His greasy hair made your fingers slip through until you hit a knot. He sighs finally slumping against the bed. Relaxing now he presses his cheek against your thigh. The thigh he’s still keeping an arm wrapped around. Resting his head on your thigh you can see his eyes close.

Untangling your fingers you pick up the brush. Holding his hair in your other hand in its makeshift ponytail. Gripping his hair a little tighter you bring the brush up. Working at the ends of the knot again. Afraid to move the brush a centimeter for fear of yanking the knot. As you worked at the knot you could feel his warm breath on your thigh. He drops his arm from around your thigh. Though he still kept your leg resting on his shoulder. His hand moves to your lower leg. His fingers dig into the muscle. It didn’t hurt but he had an iron grip. “Too much?” Asking softly as you pause, not moving the brush. “It’s fine … I don’t feel it.” A mumbled almost sleepy reply came back. Going back to working on the knot this time brushing the underside of his hair. It was much more knotted but you kept up the slow careful pace.

His thumb started to rub against your calf. Pressing hard enough to massage the muscles there. The knot in his hair came undone so you were at least half way done. Letting go of his hair you rest your free hand on his head. “This might hurt a bit.” Warning him before you bring the brush to his scalp. The first few strokes went ok but then you hit another large knot. Accidentally making his head jerk back a bit. Pulling the brush away quickly you panic. “Sorry!” Taking your hand off his head you hold it up in the air. He grumbled digging his fingers hard into your leg for a split second. He lets go, not saying anything. Taking that as a sign to keep going you start working at the larger knot. Most of it was on the underside of his hair near his scalp.

Giving a lot of small apologies as you tried to work it out. To his credit he stayed put not complaining. When it hurt he would squeeze your leg. Using your free hand to pull away the untangled strands. The knot unravels surprisingly fast; perhaps the conditioner was doing its job. Making him sit up straight came with some protest. He almost growled when you made him take his head off your thigh. Guiding his head gently to turn you had him look to the side. The brush glided through his hair with little resistance. Making him look the other way you found a few small knots. He was facing your thigh now. He must have grown impatient from how slow you were going. Lips pressed against your thigh. Looking at him for a moment you almost want to make a joke at how affectionate he’s being. Not wanting to discourage him, you stay silent.

Instead place your free hand on his head. Petting his head softly as you work on the last few knots. The kiss on your thigh is followed by another then another. Going from soft lazy kisses to firm almost needy kisses. Ignoring it until you get the last knot untangled. Taking a moment to brush through all his hair. It was smooth oily and smelt like flowers from all the products you put in it. Pulling your leg back suddenly leaves him with nothing for his next kiss. “Ta-da! All done. See it wasn’t so bad.” Scooting back on the bed you pull your legs up to sit cross legged. A frustrated noise came from the end of the bed. You watch the redhead stand up to his full height. His long hair moving in a much silky manner instead of in clumps. It was damp with product and needed a good wash. That would be another challenge in itself.

He turned around to face you. His glasses were still off so you could see his whole face. He still had the same tired expression as he took the towel off his shoulders. Dropping it to the ground as he crawled into bed. A small game of chase started as you crawled backwards. Him crawling after you on the bed. Moving to the headboard before giving up and laying on the bed. Head resting on the pillows as you watch him crawl towards you. His hand grabbed at your hips as he crawled on top of you. He presses his other hand to the pillow next to your head. Looking down at you his long hair frames his face. Despite him chasing you he hesitated above you. Not moving from his position an inch.

Just looking down at you for a few long moments. His hand on your hip squeezed for a moment. Giving him a big smile you reach both hands up to him. Cupping his face with both hands. His tired eyes softened as he looked at you. “Do I get a kiss for my hard work?” Squishing his cheeks for a moment. He gave you a slight nod before leaning down. Snickering as his long hair touches your face. He slowly brings his face close to yours. Closing your eyes you let him move at his pace. He presses a kiss to your lips. His lips are chapped and rough but the kiss is light almost not there. Lifting your head a little you kiss him back. Pressing your lips firmly into his returning the kiss. He relaxes into the kiss matching your eagerness.

All too soon he pulled away, moving back. He let out a yawn before flopping down. His whole body weight pressing down on you. His head resting on your stomach as his torsos press down on your legs. Trapping you on the bed under him. Laughter bubbles up in your chest spilling out of your mouth. Bringing your hands up to rest on his head. Tangling your fingers in his now smooth hair. You can feel the conditioner and oil coat your fingers. Still now wasn’t the time to think about that. He buried his face into stomach, hiding himself. Racking your nails over his scalp you both lay there. His breath warms your stomach.

“Wanna take a nap?” The weight and warmth of his body felt comfortable. He gave a hum in response wrapping his arms around your hips. Holding onto you tightly his fingers digging into your sides. Running your hands from his scalp through his long hair. Admiring it as it slips through your fingertips. The tension in his body slowly melts away. Time ticks by unnoticed. His breathing slows down. His grip was still tight even as he eased into sleep. Hopefully this time it will be a peaceful rest. All you can do is be there for him when he wakes up.

[lunatic-pudge]

which dudes do you think get pegged (personally i'd peg postal 3 dude until he can't walk the next day i mean who said that)

I'm giving you a ranked list from "most down to be pegged" to "hell no get that fake cock away from me". I'm including P1-P4, BD, Alt, Movie, and Shtopor

List is subject to debate. I believe all of them would technically be open to being pegged (ya kbow, cause they're all technically one person), some more than others.

(I don't blame you, Anon, I would so do the same. If God didn't want me to peg P3 Dude, then he shouldn't have made him so pegable)

~

~

1.) Movie Dude

2.) P2 Dude

3.) P3 Dude

4.) P4 Dude

5.) BD Dude

6.) P1 Dude

7.) Shtopor

8.) Alt Dude

~

~

Now I don't feel like Alt and Shtopor would be fully against getting pegged, I just think it would take hella convincing to. P1 isn't really much of a sex person, but is a little more easier to convince. And, come on, you know Movie Dude gets pegged on the daily. Just look at him.

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

hii, sweety;)

i found out you opened matchups and i want to try?? its my first time AND I HAVE NO IDEA how it works ((

now my special interest is postal and id like to see the one of dudes more than anything:3 im sorry abt my bad english

I am 19, I am a girl of medium height, but with a very low weight, as I suffer from a disorder:( my native color is blonde, not so long ago I dyed my hair ash blonde, but now the roots of the industry and it looks a little funny. I have very pale skin. I don't have a specific style, but I definitely like the part of my wardrobe where there are acid-colored clothes, I really like scene style! by personality type, I am an ISTP. I don't have much contact with people because it makes me uncomfortable and I feel awkward, but I am very open and understanding with my loved ones:3

just tell me if something is wrong, im very embarrassing

Hello!!! You did nothing wrong, my friend! Thank you for participating in the first ever Postal matchup. I match you with:

POSTAL 1 DUDE

Dude himself is also not very interested in being social, typically due to his paranoia with others. However, you are the one person he feels like he can be himself around.

Your dates often reflect enjoying one on one time alone. Usually, this is spent having coffee at his place and listening to music together. Topics range from favorite bands to conspiracy theories on society’s eventual collapse.

He would be very protective of you if you had to go somewhere together. He’ll leer at anyone deemed untrustworthy and gently usher you away.

He thinks your colorful style is really cool. The bright colors and energetic patterns of the aesthetic actually is great on you! He may surprise you every now and then with a few cute accessories that remind him of you.

Your aesthetics together would be really sweet!!! Goth BF x Scene GF

When Dude opens up to you, his commitment is strong. While he lacks having a stable mind under outside pressure, he makes up for being there for you. He thinks you are truly beautiful as you are. There is no other saving grace more precious than you.

If you’re in need of personal attention, Dude will reassuringly hold you close to his heart. He’ll do his best to at least muster out a few direct words in attempt to cheer you up. Bask in the presence of your fallen angel long enough and he’ll likely charge enough courage for a kiss.

As for your own understanding nature, Dude feels like you’re too good to be true. There are times he may going to the store means talking over the phone the whole time to remind him you are safe. Or maybe his perception is making him feel turbulent. But your kindness has truly mended his heart with a hope that blessings do exist. You are the greatest of them all.

[strawbrygashez]

POSTAL 4 DUDE X GOTH READER

Rings

You and Dude are going to a concert!!! :D how fun!!! This isn’t serious or super long but I hope at least someone likes it!! 🖤🦇👻🪦⛓🔪🔮

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“Now would ya look at that!” Dude teased after catcall whistling at you once you’d finally emerged from the bathroom and into the living room where he’d sat waiting. You couldn’t help the slight blush that came though you’ve been with him for a year now and have heard him complement you plenty of times. It didn’t help he had his glasses off for the moment and you could see him looking you up and down with a certain…kinda glaze to them, almost like he could pounce on you right then and there.

But he knew better than that right now since you spent so lo- “I guess it makes up for the hour and a half you’ve spent getting ready!” He added in, his hungry glance suddenly switching to a playful one. God his moods could switch fast. You rolled your eyes at him. He knew damn well that it takes time to put together a look this intricate, especially with the makeup and all the layers of different things you decided to toss together for today. But you couldn’t stay annoyed at him too long when he stretched his arms out towards you with his grin still not leaving. You two probably should have at least started to be on the way to the concert by now but…yknow, it wouldn’t really hurt to entertain him for a minute. Besides the venue was surprisingly close this time and you wouldn’t be devastated to miss the runner up bands so..fuck it.

You grin as you walked closer to him but before you could prepare yourself for whatever he wanted, he suddenly grabbed you by the waist and tugged you down to sit on his lap, back facing towards him. “Dude! Be careful! I-” you started but cut yourself off as you felt him pull you closer so he could nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck. He stayed silent a bit as he took your hands in his and gave you a kiss on your shoulder before speaking. “God, you’re gorgeous. You know that?” Even though you wanted to point out how he’s just gone through at least three different emotions in the last couple minutes, you instead just frowned a bit as your blush came back even worse. “W-whatever Dude….” was all you could say. He chuckled a bit as he moved his head to rest his chin on your shoulder before lifting one of your hands up and slightly moving it as though he was inspecting it. “I think you’d be proud to know I still haven’t chipped the nail polish you did last night! See?”Dude said as he put his hand out next to yours. Your sharp and long nails still indeed matched his in color and cleanliness. In the past when you’ve done Dudes nails, he always ended up picking at the nail polish before even a week could go by. It never really bothered you or hurt your feelings though. He’s always just been one of those guys who needed to be doing something with his hands or messing with something but it did feel nice to see all of his black nail polish looked as good as you did it the other night.

“Oh wow. Yeah I am proud of you babe! Were you looking forward to dressing up too today or something?” You asked him with a smile. Maybe you also should have told him to get ready while you were…seeing as he was still in his clothes from yesterday but oh well. “Hmm..I dunno. I was just more careful because you seemed so excited about today, so. Why? Are you wanting me to dress up and be some kinda vampire prince for the day?” He teased. The truth was he was actually genuinely a little excited to dig through his clothes and find his old black trench coat and whatever old band shirt that has survived the passing of time (which should be commendable if you’re being worn by Dude of all people) but you didn’t need to know that. Maybe he should tell you though that it does make his heart flutter a bit when he matches with you but..maybe later. That’s too soft for even right now.

You shrugged and interlocked your fingers with his before leaning back on him some. “Wear whatever. I don’t care.” It was the truth. You liked Dude for who he was, not what he wore or looked like. You didn’t expect a guy who was getting grey hairs already to still wanna dress to the nines with you. To be honest you were even kinda surprised he wanted to be in a crowd with a bunch of younger alternative people dancing around. “Nah. It’s fine. I got some clothes that have probably been begging to see daylight again anyways.” Dude replied before he tried to think back to the days when he’d somewhat tried to dress in a alternative style (though unlike yours. Yours was much more beautifully crafted and traditionally goth than whatever he was doing.)

If he had to guess it was probably back in the early 2000s when he was still with his bitch of a ex. He would have maybe been even more darkly inclined back then if his ex didn’t give him as much of a hard time already for dressing ‘like a freak’ for wearing his old trench coat everywhere, even during the heat because it just felt nice to wear and was useful. But before he could let himself slip too far back into those depressing thoughts, he felt you suddenly untangling your hands. He looked back down at yours as he watched you slip one of your rings off your finger and onto his. Before he could ask anything, you faced towards him with a grin and joked “There. At least it will look like you tried to dress up anyways.”

He just sat there for a moment, looking at you and then the ring. Trying really hard not to think too hard about the fact that the feeling of wearing rings similar to ones you had on made his heart beat faster and got him thinking of giving you a certain ring. He’s sure you could tell though by the way he felt his cheeks get warmer. “Y-yeah. Whatever. I uh- I think we’re cutting it close yknow? I should probably start getting dressed now so…” he gently took you by your waist again, sliding you off his thighs and onto the couch before standing up and doing his best to ignore your confused reaction. “You okay?” You asked as you watched him scratch his head, a habit he does when he’s nervous. “Yeah..I-I’m good. Just gonna get dressed.” He stopped himself and tried to get his wits back. “Dont worry! I won’t take a whole half a day like you do.” He teased. To his relief you just rolled your eyes again and grinned. Taking this as a go ahead, he left to go dig whatever clothes he could up.

-

Once he came back in, you couldn’t help but swoon a bit over how handsome he looked. He’d mentioned something about having a black trench coat and black combat boots before but seeing them in person…along with some fucking killer band shirt with some spiked bracelets..now maybe you wanted Dude to entertain your thoughts like you were willing to do for him earlier. But this time you two really should be leaving so you’ll have to save those ideas for afterwards. He only seemed a little bashful at being in a style different than what he was used to for so long but he seemed to perk up after you got up and now were checking him out. “You…look super fucking hot in that babe.” You complimented him, chucking a little at just how taken back you were. Before he could be worried that the laughing that followed was because he looked dumb, you again took his hand and looked him up and down, biting your bottom lip a tad which, of course gave him his confidence back. “’Course I do! I can obviously rock anything.” He joked but you knew it really was the truth. This man could look hot in even a garbage bag in your eyes.

Agreeing with him with a little ‘mhm’, you gave him a kiss on the cheek (that would have to suffice for how you felt now). He grinned as you pulled away and you were going too until you noticed that you’d left a black lipstick stain on his cheek. You only stared at him for a minute but that was long enough for Dude to piece two and two together of what had happened, especially when you went to go wipe off his cheek. He grinned even more widely as he stopped you. “Like hell you’re getting rid of that sweetheart.” Ugh. “Cmon Dude you already look so nice and-” and for some god damn reason before he could hear you out, he decided to fucking run and burst out of the house before you could try again. You were stunned only for a second before he yelled out, “CMON WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!” God. Like he expects you to run after him in your platform boots. You act like a normal human being and take your time getting everything together and locking the door behind you before you finally turn around to see Dude already in his truck, in the driver seat, waving for you to come on.

[verstarppen]

now riddle me this .

since all the drivers talk about how hard the singapore gp is because its so hot and humid HOW ABOUT

singaporean fem driver reader whos used to the climate and her shenanigans with the f1 grid

idk i thought this would be a good idea 😢😢

summary; the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of oscar sweaty and disheveled just might

pairing; oscar piastri x fem! ferrari driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; this is my thank you letter to @localwhoore for helping me with the oscar series, i owe you big time; also if anyone has any idea what to do when i hit 3k send me an ask

liked by scuderiayn, charles_leclerc, f1 and 3,204,985 others

scuderiaferrari The heat never bothered her anyway

view all 982,547 comments

36rg P1 BABY IT'S OUR YEAR

gonestappen not for longggggg

gothfrogasly oh they're so hot for that (get it?)

buttonette_20 It's Oscar and Lando congratulating her mid interview for me

meepshoemaker WHERE buttonette_20 Post quali interviews!! They were walking by, Lando stopped to congratulate her and Oscar had the audacity to wink but it looked so awkward 😭 meepshoemaker bless his soul that boy has 0 rizz

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiayn, landonorris and 2,111,901 others

mclaren We, at McLaren, do not take a side in the conflict, and if we had to, it would be Oscar's. That said, here are some of the ways he looks at Y/N. Happy Race Day! 🧡

view all 877,301 comments

sebwebb admin you're so brave for this

maxielhearter take a shot if mclaren admin knowing about oscassgate was on your bingo card

g3org3zilla NAHHHHHH THEY DIDN'T

mclaren Oh, yes, we did 😊 oscarpiastri 🤨

scuderiayn girl

mclaren Just doing my job 😊 scuderiayn how much did mick and max f. pay you to post this mclaren I plead the 5th maxfewtrell DUDE

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 7,800,552 others

scuderiayn i won or whatever LANDO P2 BABYYYY

view all 920,012 comments

forzapluto FERARRI WIN??? WHAT YEAR IS IT????

bottaswiththefur breaking the verstappen domination and being more excited about your buddy getting a podium is insane but not as insane as oscassgate

scuderiayn I JUST GOT A WIN AND WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT OSCAR'S ASS?? oscarpiastri You're no longer interested, then? scuderiayn oh charles_leclerc At last mickschumacher I teared up, they grow up so fast landonorris and if i said i caught him looking at your ass too what then scuderiayn you didn't landonorris no i didn't but like imagine if i did what then

liked by maxfewtrell, scuderiayn, fernandoalo_oficial and 3,121,347 others

oscarpiastri Thank you @ charles_leclerc for revealing your DMs. Without you, it would have taken longer for this to happen.

view all 920,012 comments

scuderiayn *being dumb enough to reveal his DMs

charles_leclerc First of all I just scored you a date. scuderiaferrari You should be scoring points instead scuderiayn ha scuderiaferrari You included scuderiayn oh im sorry, you're talking to THE max destroyer charles_leclerc Bow to her highness landonorris someone's about to be known as THE y/n destroyer scuderiayn ok mr nowins scuderiayn wait scuderiayn LANDO

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

fic-specific taglist; @onecojg @spilled-coffee-cup @cixrosie @sheridamn @namgification @thehufflepuffavenger1 @sxrcxsm26

blog taglist; @wtfisakilometer2 @aexitizen-ln4 @localwhoore @onecojg @sheridamn @cixrosie @gulabjamooon @melozyxo @spilled-coffee-cup @biitch-with-wifi @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @lavenderhazeeworld @ravisinghs-wife @namgification @sheridamn @whatislifebutlemons @demvnsriot @stinkyjax @sxrcxsm26 @beskardroids @tbsloneely

(it's my birthday on sunday im about to get the best dutch anthem of the year)

[23victoria]

Passing the Phone

f1 grid x reader

warnings: cussing, unhinged, satire, complete jokes (are they?...), dark humor ig…idk, talk of age gaps, sa allegations, no just kidding...very much reading people to the filth

authors note: lmaoo don’t ask me why i wrote this cause idk…but this is so unhinged 😭😭 please don’t take offense to this and if you do…i said don’t…all jokes i love them, some of them, you can find it funny or you won’t, just wanted to get this out of my drafts

want to be tagged in my works?! CLICK HERE!

f1 masterlist

Video starts with Y/N holding the phone, in selfie mode.

Y/N: I'm passing the phone to someone who had the biggest breakup in F1 history with a blond German boy named Nico.

Lewis: Babe, no!

Y/N: What, too soon? It's been years but okay! Sorry! Okay, let me start again. I'm passing the phone to someone who said "Fuck Mercedes" and is going to Ferrari for 2025!

Lewis: Y/N, no!! You cannot say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!!

Y/N: Fine, fine, fine. I'm passing the phone to the GOAT of this generation with the most wins in F1 history, yet he was robbed of the championship in 2021.

Y/N passes the phone to Lewis.

Lewis: stares at Y/N then laughs “I'm passing the phone to someone who is known more for his memes than driving skills.”

Lewis passes the phone to George.

George: laughs “Hahaha real funny…I'm passing the phone to someone who took six years to get their first win."

Lando: “Dude, what the fuck?! Fuck you, Woody! I'm passing the phone to someone who's younger than me yet acts years older than me.”

Oscar: “....You're not funny... I'm passing the phone to someone who's most likely losing their seat next season.”

Logan: “The fuck, Oscar! I thought we were friends! Low blow, mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has yet to get P1, yet all his friends who got into F1 after him have won races already.”

Alex: “....And that, Logan, is why you're losing your seat. Mr. What The Fuck is A Kilometer. Anyway, I'm passing the phone to someone who just got brutally murdered by an interviewer on Sky Sports regarding their F1 career, if you could call it that.”

Daniel: “You shouldn’t be talking Mr. I Have No Wins….eat shit…I'm passing the phone to the shortest person on the grid but cusses more than anyone here.”

Yuki: “That interviewer was right, why the fuck do you still have a seat in F1?!! Dickhead. I'm passing the phone to a man with good fashion sense and his teammate might steal his seat.”

Zhou: “Bro….really. I'm passing the phone to someone who acts like he's Australian when he’s not…oh, and his seat is at risk too.”

Bottas: “Yeah, yeah, whatever mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has enough penalties in just nine races that he can be banned from racing in F1… permanently.

Kevin: “You're so funny, Bottas, hahaha…ha. I'm passing the phone to a dickhead.”

Nico: “Fuck you too asshole. I'm passing the phone to a person who has a shitty ass dad who deserves to be in jail.”

Max: burst out laughing “Ah, no lies told there. I'm passing the phone to someone who only has a seat to protect me from having any real competition…”

You laugh in the background “Oh shit.”

Checo: blank stare “Motherfucker! That just shows your true colors... I'm passing the phone to... who am I supposed to pass it to... uhhh... Y/N.

Takes phone 

Y/N: “Oh, I know! I'm passing the phone to someone who has sexual assault “allegations” against them, but the FIA wants to hide it. I can’t go near him for my safety, so I’ll just turn the camera towards him... *pans the camera to Christian Horner*

Everyone is stunned and silent, then there’s Lewis laughing in the background 

Y/N: “Oh! I have another one! Hey Kelly, “i hear you like them young”, to be more specific at the ripe age of 17... mhmmm, she's a pedoo. What Kendrick say “TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINNORRRR” *pans the camera to Kelly Piquet*

silence.

Lewis: runs towards Y/N and grabs the camera “Yup, that's enough for today. You're trying to start problems and get people beat up”

Video ends with Lewis taking the phone away from Y/N, shaking his head while laughing.

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong @bloodyymaryyy @nor-4 @zacian117 @mel164 @uhhvictoria @hadidsworld @magixpracticality @exotic-iris13 @tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @sya-skies @lillysbigwilly

@eoduuung

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

*sooooo……that’s the end….LMFAOOOO, again…DO NOT COME FOR ME…ITS JOKES (is it really though)*

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[musaslullaby]

New driver

grid x fem reader

p1 p2 p3 p4

Summary: You're the new teammate of oliver bearman.

Face: Bianca Bustamante

Warning: Most of the grid has a small weakness for you. It'a a series

Masterlist

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪

Yn.official

Landonorris started following you charles_leclerc started following you georgerussell63 started following you maxverstappen1 started following you carlossainz55 started following you and other...

olliebearman

Description: Guess who I'm with? @.Yn.official

F1lover: They met up!!!

catvroom:They would make such a cute couple.

user98: So cute in the second photo

Olliemylife: Yesss, and he’s the one who took the photo

myf1: Yn, don't be shy, show up more in the photos

Ynstar: Maybe she was hoping Ollie wouldn’t reveal her like that.

charles_leclerc: Yn, how could you betray me?

Landonorris: You mean we?

Oscarpiastri: So, are we still on for Thursday?

maxverstappen1: Dude, back off.

georgerussell63: Right now, I'm jealous of Ollie.

danielricciardo: I've already claimed her as my daughter, so hands off.

Yn.official: Guys, relax listen to my father.

carlossainz55: ok then I'll be the first to ask daniel for your hand.

danielricciardo: request denied

Olliebearman: and for today Yn is safe

[timidtresleches]

YES YES YES YES YES GIMME GIMME GIMME THE POSTAL 1 DUDE GOODNESS OOGA BOOGA (is this gif) (this is also extremely positive I love this sm thank you)

Postal 1 Dude x Reader headcanons part 2

- Kisses the back of your neck a lot, usually when you’re doing something or in your own world

- He does it to remind you he’s there

- Tries to get your attention a lot, he’s pretty insecure sometimes

- LOVES to praise and be praised, especially the latter (Again, he’s pretty insecure)

- He usually finds someway to touch you, like playing with your hair or holding your hand

- Gets jealous REALLY easily, but he’s gotten good at hiding it

- He doesn’t try to separate you from others, but he does make up excuses for you to spend time together

- He’ll pretend to be sick to get your attention, nine times out of ten he’s healthy, he just wants to give you a reason to take care of him

- On a related note, he will take care of you when you’re sick, but he gets really paranoid that it’s the worst case scenario, so he’ll be extremely attentive to you. He doesn’t care that he might catch what you have, he’ll cuddle up in bed with you because he’s paranoid about something happening to you.

- Will most definitely kill for you if he hasn’t already. You might not want him to but he doesn’t really care. His philosophy is “No one hurts my soulmate, no one.” You might never find out if he does, he’s good at hiding things.

[orisquirrelking]

May I please have p1 dude x reader Headcanons 💕 I love him so much (sob)

Also I'm from the RWS server LOL

P1 dude/reader HCs

I’m not gonna lie to you chief i am writing this in my lecture hall because i have no time otherwise LMAOO

Enjoy !!

——————————-

He’s not very social so the fact that you two even met in the first place is lowkey a miracle. He’ll dwell on this a lot. Were it not for the fact that the two of you were coincidentally at the same grocery store at the same time, he doesn’t think you would’ve ever even have heard of him.

(this is more of a gen headcanon, but) adding on to his antisocial personality, it’s been years since the incident in paradise (however you may interpret it, whether it be just a dream or an actual, physical event,) that lead to his long-term hospitalization at the paradise psychiatric ward. He had been staying there for as long as he can remember, only being released very recently due to medical advancements with medication for mental health issues. It’s not exactly a topic he likes to talk about though he may crack a joke that you’re not sure you can laugh at every once in a while.

Very schedule oriented. When you two began dating it was difficult for him to adjust to having another presence in his life. In the beginning he usually had to host dates at his place, just because he didn’t want to adjust at all. Its a push and pull process but the two of you are working on a more relaxed, healthier schedule.

You’ll notice that he patrols the borders of his house every once in a while. His paranoia can get high and at times he feels unsafe in his home. It’s mostly harmless behavior, and he doesn’t mind if you join him. 

You're going to be subject to a LOT of rambling about his weapons. He's a big collector, doesn't matter if they don't work, as long as they can look pretty. He keeps his “real” firearms and ammunition in safeboxes around his house. If you don't already know, he's teaching you how to use them.

As I've stated in other writings, I think that all of the dudes enjoy physical contact in one way or another. Unlike P2, P1 dude prefers to initiate physical contact and be able to pull away at any time. Don’t get him wrong, he loves physical contact, but he can be overstimulated at times and would prefer to not be in a pissy mood when around you.

When you start getting him to go out, he prefers to be able to go out to somewhere more spacious and more nature oriented, (as stated in the dating HCs.) so he can bring baby Champ with him.

Speaking of Champ, that puppy is his fucking lifeline. I like to think that in this universe Champ is his service dog in training, and is the first thing he received when he left the ward. If you don’t fw Champ, the chances of you two getting together are lower than 0%. On the other hand, nothing brings him more joy than when you’re lazing around at his home together and you start playing with Champ. He thoroughly enjoys it when you help him with Champ’s training, he loves seeing his two favorites get along!

Does not like it when he misses taking his meds. You’re going to have to assure him that missing one dosage isn’t going to erase all of the progress he’s made. Dude would be more on edge on the days when that happens. Sometimes this will lead to a meltdown, and honestly (as somebody who has the same issues that he does,) there really isn’t much you can do except be there for him.

Appreciates everything you do for him and will not hesitate to try to one-up you. You’ve offhandedly bought him food? He’s treating you to dinner. Homemade. Take care of him when he’s sick? Flowers, chocolate, and a day out with Champ. He doesn’t have the most money in the world but he wants to show you that he cares too.

Doesn’t want to seem dependent on anything, so sometimes he might pull away from you. He’s been independent for most of his life, so it hits an insecurity when he thinks he might have been “burdening” you with his issues. He’s not exactly used to being treated with so much kindness.

Overall? Be patient with this man for the love of god. It’ll take him some time to open up and yeah, he’s got his issues, but in the end he’s just a guy trying to make the best of a life full of experiences he never asked for.

[g1rld1ary]

you never disappointed me ; luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

part one part two part three part four

➻ synopsis: charles beckendorf wants to go out with silena beauregard more than anything. one problem: she's not allowed to date until her shrewish older sister does, so he and percy come up with a plan. (10 things I about you AU)

➻ word count: 2783

➻ warnings: swearing ooc/kind of loser!luke, ooc silena, she/her pronouns used for reader

➻ this'll be a few chapter so this is p1!!!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Charles Beckendorf arrived at Camp Half-Blood when he was fifteen years old. It was a wonder he’d lasted out in the mortal world so long with his significant stature, height enough to attract monsters, but Percy — his tour guide — guessed it was probably his more reserved nature which had kept him under the radar.

“Thank God it’s you showing me around,” Was one of the first things he’d said, “When you start things like this it’s usually all the kiss-asses that greet me.” With six schools under his belt, Percy knew what he meant all too well.

“Nah man, we’re chill. And if we get this done quick then you can meet my friends, we know how to have the real fun here.”

And so they embarked on their tour, Percy dutifully pointing out all the most important places around camp. First was the Dining Pavilion, where they met Grover as he chewed on some of the tin-can remains of lunch. Then came Thalia’s Tree, under which Annabeth was drawing out a map that Charles didn’t understand in the slightest but Percy explained was a strategy for capture the flag. After that they walked past the sword fighting arena, where they caught a glimpse of Luke in the middle of a fierce duel. They both passed quickly, and Charles got the distinct impression that you weren’t supposed to interrupt Luke when he was fighting.

As the two got to the lake, Percy explaining it was where most people hung out when they had the time, Charles faltered in his steps. Percy looked back to where he was frozen and followed his sightline to Silena Beauregard and rolled his eyes.

“Who is that?” He breathed.

“Don’t even bother, bro,” Percy replied. “She’s off limits. It’s a well known fact that the Beauregard sisters aren’t allowed to date — they’re only here over the summers and their dad is crazy strict about it for some reason.”

“But she’s so—”

“Self-centred? Shallow? Silena is all looks no substance, dude. You can do better.” Percy ushered him away but Charles was still daydreaming about the beautiful Aphrodite girl.

The tour was just finishing up by the Climbing Wall when they first saw you. You held the camp record for it, and so had been delegated the responsibility of teaching the younger kids. Today though you’d had to rescue a cocky bastard from getting obliterated by lava, singeing the fabric of your camp shirt all over your left shoulder, and you were not in a good mood.

Just wanting to get back to your cabin for a change of clothes and some ambrosia, you were certainly not in the state of mind to stop and chat with a new camper. So when Percy and Charles came along blocking the whole fucking path, you didn’t hesitate to yell “Move!” Pushing past them in a huff. You wouldn’t usually be so rude, but you were pretty sure your shirt was fusing into your skin which was so not what you needed. Plus, they were in the way. Beckendorf’s bicep was warm from where you’d shoulder-checked him with your injury.

“That’s your dream girl’s older sister,” Percy snorted, used to your disagreeable personality.

“That’s Silena’s sister?” Charles asked incredulously, “But she’s…”

“A shrew? Yeah. I’d watch out for her, and kiss your dreams of going out with Silena goodbye. Now c’mon, I’ll show you to your cabin.” Charles followed mindlessly, still thinking about the two Beauregard sisters.

When people thought of you, the consensus was pretty much this: Silena Beauregard’s older sister, and the most heinous bitch at Camp Half-Blood, a title you were extremely proud of. Whilst you really didn’t think you were that bad — in fact, you considered your actions quite reasonable — younger campers cowered away when you marched through camp and the older ones rolled their eyes when you spoke. Just the way you liked it. It wasn’t exactly unusual, camp had all sorts of kids living there, not everyone was going to get along, but it was pretty unexpected for you as a daughter of Aphrodite.

You didn’t get along with most of your siblings, despite all your efforts as one of the elder campers. You thought it was ridiculous that they wouldn’t participate in camp activities, regardless of the reason. What good was having all that beauty if it was wiped off the face of the earth by a monster? There were a hundred rumours flying about to explain you and your attitude, the most popular being that you were the secret lovechild of Aphrodite and Ares, which explained your affinity for fighting and permanent bitch face. You knew better. For one you shared too many of your dad’s traits not to be his child. Plus, Aphrodite had a long history of being associated with war in Ancient Greece which everyone at camp just conveniently forgot in favour of writing her children off as useless and vain. You hated it, and you refused to be who they wanted.

Even your favourite sibling was the polar opposite to you. Silena was a few years younger than you, and by all accounts was the model of a perfect Aphrodite child. Gorgeous, of course, and usually kind and patient. In your opinion, she was kind of annoying and self-absorbed, but you chose to believe she meant well so you could keep tolerating her. You didn’t know how the only two blood-related siblings in your cabin could be so different from one another, but it had been that way since you were fourteen and she was twelve.

You had made it back to your cabin, and your shoulder was all bandaged up after your shower. You were just flipping through The Bell Jar, your latest novel, when Silena came stomping into the cabin, waving a letter frantically through the air. You could assume what it was about.

“This is so unfair!” Silena whined, “Daddy doesn’t even know Ethan!” Ethan was the new boy Silena had been obsessed with recently, writing incessantly to your father in an attempt to get him to take back the no dating rule.

“What, can’t go swap spit with the vermin of the earth?” You exaggerated a pout. She sneered at you in the mirror.

“Worse. Now he’s saying I can’t date until you do, so now I’m going to die a stupid old virgin because of you!” You rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Have you ever considered there’s more to life than finding a boyfriend? Or, big shock I know, maybe I’m just not interested in the sweaty, uninspired pigs that are supplied here?”

“You suck!” She huffed, turning on a kitten heel and barging out of the cabin.

“You suck!” You mocked, turning back to your book. You knew Silena was really pissed at you for being so stubborn, but you hated the thought of changing your opinions over a man of all things.

Silena, in her frustration, was wandering around Camp Half-Blood to let off some steam. Charles, fresh from a kayaking lesson, spotted her across the beach and scrambled to catch up to her. Remembering what Percy told him about her not participating in many of the camp’s activities, he came up with the idea to offer his help to finish a project in the forges to get Chiron off her back. Silena seemed surprised but happy enough to agree, and Charles was ecstatic.

“She’s agreed to go to the forges with me!” He told Percy excitedly, and Percy raised an eyebrow.

“Do you even know how to weld?”

“Well, no, but I will!” As much as Percy liked the new kid, he was definitely a handful.

Charles’ first session with Silena didn’t go exactly as he’d hoped. She showed up already looking bored, and not keen to start off with a simple sword as he’d proposed. Soon he gave up with any welding, choosing instead to try and get her know better.

“If you’re not really into this we could try something else? I saw someone welding some metal flowers, you know, for like a date?” That caught her attention.

“Are you asking me on a date?” At his shy nod Silena couldn’t contain her slight laugh. “That is so cute! What’s your name again?” Charles told her quietly.

“Well, my Dad’s just changed our family rule — I can date when my sister does.”

“That’s great! So all you’ve gotta do is find someone who’ll date her!”

“One problem, Cameron-”

“Charles.”

“My sister is, like, totally antisocial?”

“Yeah, but people jump out of planes and stuff all the time! It could be, like, extreme dating!”

They both looked across the forge where you were working, fixing up your favourite sword after an Ares kid had done quite a number on it. You had on both your signature outfit and expression — long, practical jorts with your camp shirt tied in a knot and a dangerous bitch face.

“The oversized look is out, Beauregard, didn’t you read last month’s Vogue?” Ethan was hovering around you, trying his hardest to get a rise out of you in front of his friends.

“Run along, dickwad.” You refused to blow up at him, knowing it would only be used to make you look hysterical and unbalanced later. Plus, Ethan would get bored sooner or later and find someone else to taunt.

As Charles recounted this story to Percy later that night at the bonfire, all Percy could do was groan.

“Charles — Charlie — I really wanna like you, man, but this is probably the most stupid thing you could have done. I know they’re hot, but it’s not even worth getting involved with one Beauregard sister, and you’ve just gotten yourself tangled with both — and not in the way that most guys dream about.” Charles flushed at the innuendo.

“I think you’re wrong about Silena, I think she’s worth it. I just have to figure out how I can set her sister up with another guy.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Percy laughed, hitting Charles’ knee twice before turning away to talk to Annabeth. Charles spent the rest of the night trying to hatch a plan.

Early the next morning he got Percy on board, albeit very reluctantly. Percy brought Charles over to every single guy he could think of in your age range, begging them to take you out. The responses varied from a nervous shake of the head to Travis Stoll laughing in both boys’ faces.

“Why would I go looking for a kick in the balls?” He asked, still wheezing from his initial outburst.

They found themselves once again at the bonfire, both disheartened. Percy at having wasted a day all for this new guy he barely knew, and Charles that he was no closer to getting a date with Silena. Finally, somewhat eager to get this distraction over with, Percy came up with an idea.

“What about you just pay someone to go out with her?” He asked, and Charles considered the idea for a minute, it wasn’t half bad.

“I have literally no money,” He settled on finally, and Percy rolled his eyes.

“So you get someone else to do it for you,” He suggested, and Annabeth joined the conversation with suspicious interest.

“Like a backer?” She asked, at Percy’s nod she bit her lip, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, guys, it seems like it could really backfire on you. I mean, what if she finds out? I heard she once tied a camper to the lava wall just for looking at her wrong.”

“She won’t find out! I mean she only has to date so Silena can, it doesn’t have to be a long term thing. She goes on enough dates for it to qualify, then they break up while it’s still casual and I can go out with Silena!” Charles explained excitedly, but Annabeth still looked skeptical.

“Plus, if we have a backer, none of the blame will go to my man Charlie here,” Percy added helpfully, which swayed Annabeth a little.

“Okay, well be careful,” She said, leaving for the dining hall to be distanced from the plot.

Percy thought the answer to who the backer would be was pretty obvious. Whilst most of the boys at Camp Half-Blood wanted to sleep with Silena, Ethan White was both rich and desperate enough to agree to it. Plus when Percy Jackson was telling you you’d look great with a girl, you generally listened.

All that was left was to find someone to set you up with. The boys used the bonfire to scope out their options, but it wasn’t looking good. For one, you didn’t even show up to bonfires if you could help it, and it was anyone’s guess what you did instead. Rumours said blood sacrifices but Percy was almost completely sure that was a lie. Truthfully you were sitting up on the roof of the Aphrodite cabin, enjoying the peace and quiet of the camp when no one else was around.

They were about to give up, Percy trying to find the right words to let Beckendorf down easy, when they saw Luke. Luke, with his brooding eyes and his cigarette, sitting on his own at the bonfire with headphones connected to a mortal mp3 player. Luke, who had never quite been the same since he returned from his quest — rumours swirling about the horrors he’d faced that he refused to speak on.

“I think we’ve found our man.”

It was easy to convince Ethan to get on board, he was so overconfident in himself and his looks he would never suspect that Percy or Beckendorf had any ulterior motives. It was equally enjoyable to watch Ethan try and approach Luke to get the plan in motion. Percy and Beckendorf were sitting with Percy’s friends on the beach the very first time Ethan spoke to Luke. He was all macho confidence, still trying to play the tough guy. Luke looked up at him from his place sitting on a rock, barely moving his head to give him any attention. The moment of eye contact meant Ethan knew Luke had seen him speaking, and the abrupt walking away communicated his absolute lack of interest. It took a gargantuan effort from Percy not to burst out laughing then and there.

The second conversation went a bit smoother. Ethan had a metaphorical tail between his legs, temporarily giving up his ego to be the smaller person in the conversation. That got Luke’s attention, having known Ethan and his antics for years at that point. And then Ethan explained his plan. Luke couldn’t contain his laughter — a sound Camp Half-Blood was rarely graced with anymore.

“Yeah sure, Sparky,” He laughed, almost wheezing in an uncharacteristic show of emotion.

“Look,” Ethan stressed, “I can’t take out Silena until her sister starts dating — their Dad is super strict and has this rule—”

“Touching story, not my problem.” Luke moved to put his earbud back in when Ethan stopped him.

“Could it be your problem if I provided generous compensation?” Luke had forgotten Ethan’s mother was filthy rich. He looked him dead in the eye.

“You’re going to pay me to take out some chick? How much?” He asked, entirely disbelieving.

“Twenty bucks” They both looked down at you on the volleyball courts, spiking a ball into a girl’s stomach with so much force she keeled over on the ground. You had the decency to look mildly apologetic while the opposing team glared at you.

“Fine. Thirty.”

“Let’s see,” Luke smiled something devious. “If I’m taking her out it means leaving camp. That’s a lot of risk I’m pursuing for you, plus the costs of taking to her somewhere — the movies maybe. And you know inflation lately, let’s say seventy-five bucks.”

“This isn’t a negotiation, burnout.”

“Fifty bucks and we’ve got a deal, Fabio,” Luke countered, knowing he had the upper hand. He had nothing to lose. Reluctantly, Ethan forked out a fifty. All that was left was for Luke to get you to go out with him, how hard could that be?

[sil3ntfr34k]

Postal 4 boyfriend Headcanons

(Guess who found about how to do a buillted list insides of manually putting dots :D)

Mans is probably in his early 40’s and feeling every second of it.

He’s not much a romantic, but he knows how to love. Like he knows he’s supposed to give you gifts, listen to you rant, support you in anything, hug you, give affection and words of encouragement, the whole sha-bang. Is he good at it tho? Kinda,,,

You probably met him during his ‘job hunting’, when he was running around this a sign that said something along the lines of “Willing to do something strange for a bit of change”. Caught your attention IMMEDIATELY

You thought he wasn’t too bad looking, something of a roughed up silver fox. He was pretty toned for someone his age, forearms are pretty big and that’s just what you needed. You ended up taking him up on his offer and made him clean out your gutters. You just sat there and watched as he worked himself throwing out heaps of wet leaves and random junk from your gutters.

He came out obvious dirty so you gifted him $40 and a shower. It’s like heavens light shined upon him when he heard the words “You can take a shower here if you’d like?” fall from your mouth was enough for him to marry you in that moment.

Postal Dude has been raw dogging it homeless style for a couple months up to this point, so any kind of reward he came across was a fortune to him. Gladly accepting this kind gesture, he was still thrown out for the rest of the day. You both came upon an agreement that he could stay the nights on your couch, but he still had to go ‘job hunting’ during the days. Didn’t matter to him, he still accepted it. As long as he had a safe place to sleep with Champ.

Side note, you loathe Champ being around during the day since he digs holes everywhere in your front AND back yard, so you make Dude take Champ with him everyday. Dude doesn't mind since Champ is kinda like an attack dog so homie very useful when Dude's walking around

Once your relationship with Dude has reached it's peak (dating), he becomes very attentive and energetic. Where he was once tired and reclused, he's now got some energy in him and filled with affection

Dude loves to be around you and touching you. Biggest love languages are quality time and physical touch, sometimes words of affirmation if he's feeling extra sappy. He's probably been through the works of brutal relationships, so he really wants to settle down, which leads me to my next thought

Mans is getting old and creaky. Sure he's still got muscle and all, but they're honestly just for show. He couldn't hold back Champ from attacking someone he isn't supposed to even if his life depended on it. So, he's staring to wear down and just wants to find someone to relax with.

Red flag time, he's talking about marriage about 2 months into the relationship and tries to move his scrap in without you noticing, which usually fails. It's not that he's using you for your home, Dude just wants to feel like he's finally in a normal relationship. No bitchy attitudes being thrown around, no constant nagging for something stupid, no arguing over small things, no constant threats, just y’all being in love together

Eventually your gonna have to let Champ wonder the house and train him to be a guard dog rather than just an attack dog. You’re definitely the one to look up dog training classes and making Dude go with you to these said classes.

Even with how much he loves to be around you, there are still times when his mental and physical illnesses make him ill 😔 but he still tries to snap out of it

His main problems are most likely his chronic muscle pains and his auditory schizophrenia. (I think all the dudes are some sort of schizo, it’s just that p1 and p2 are the strongest showing ones)

Being older means his body is slowly deteriorating. Sure he’s not that old, but with how he lived in his golden age, he should really be dead. Constantly on the run from the government, having to stay sharp to kill, and fucking his way through Paradise and Edensin, he’s ready to just lay down and let the earth reclaim him

Having a long history of schizophrenia in the family and his own lifetime, it’s thankfully dwindled down to just hearing voices randomly. Since he can only hear these voices it doesn’t scare him as bad as it used to. All he can really hear is a distant conversation that he can’t make out the words to, it’s sort of like a mumbling between a woman and a man. Many times you’ve found him franticly wondering the house with a confused look on his face saying “I thought there was people in here?”

Overall, he’s an old man who’s been through enough and would just like to relax. Give him kisses, give him cuddles, feed him, and talk to him, and he’ll love you for eternity (so gay)

[imnameimswrld]

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐂𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐁𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 || 𝗢𝗣𝟴𝟭 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . oscar x verstappen!surfer!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : freshly surfing world champ, yn goes to take some much needed time off, and starts her vacay off by attending the miami grand prix. her intention was to support her big bro, but it appears a certain papaya driver had other plans; ❫

━━❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━❪ . . . warnings : none ❫

━━❪ . . . fc : caroline marks ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ynverstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 767 224 others

ynverstappen world champion, blessed, thank you to the beautiful cali waves 🌊🏆

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user so well deserved, congrats yn !

bestfriend you were WICKED on the waves girl !!

maxverstappen1 let's gooo, congrats sissy ♡

⤿ ynusername couldn't have you being the only world champ in the fam, now could I ? 😋

⤿ maxverstappen1 no, no you just couldn't 😤

user the verstappen siblings are just legendary

user so with the break coming up, will we see yn at the next grand prix 👀 ?

⤿ user plus the next ones in miami, super close to cali, so 🤞 !!

oscarpiastri congratulations yn, coolest world champion ever 👏🥇

[ liked by ynverstappen ]

user and if I said yn and oscar would be SO cute together ?

Boeta 🏎

hey sissy

where r u ?

Sissy 🌊

chillin'

what's up ?

Boeta 🏎

no, I mean where r u

you said you were gonna be the paddocks when I got back from my meeting ?

Sissy 🌊

oohhhh

well, I am in the paddock

just not yours

Boeta 🏎

what ?

yn, are u hiding in dani's closet again to scare him ?

Sissy 🌊

ahhh, good times

but nope, I'm in the mclaren paddocks

Boeta 🏎

oh

is lando talking your ear off again ?

Sissy 🌊

nah, lol

I'm uh, actually with chilling with oscar

Boeta 🏎

piastri ?

since when are you guys on chilling level

Sissy 🌊

since he asked me out to dinner later

[read]

Boeta ?

uhhhh, boet ?

[read]

ynverstappen

liked by redbullracing, schecoperez, and 977 335 others

ynverstappen soooo good being back in the paddocks, thanks so much for having me redbullracing – and ofc, congrats boeta on p1 ! 💙

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user soooo, did anyone else see the video of oscar and yn walking around together ??? dude had the dopiest smile on his face too 😭

redbullracing you're practically family yn ! 💙

[ liked by ynverstappen ]

user 2 champs 🏆

danielricciardo thanks for not scaring the crap out of me this time yn :)

⤿ ynverstappen ah, there's always next time dan 😄

⤿ danielricciardo no no, pls don't.

mclaren hope you had a wonderful time at the race yn ! 🧡

⤿ redbullracing are you going to apologize for stealing her from out paddocks ?

⤿ mclaren are we supposed to ?

⤿ oscarpiastri of course not.

⤿ maxverstappen1 thin ice piastri, watch it.

user uhhh, not redbull and mclaren battling it out over yn 😭

user my yncar ship is HERE BDJEHZIS

oscarpiastri just added to their story !

[ caption 1: stolen forever maxverstappen1 🤚 ; caption 2: 🧡 ]

Boeta 🏎

oscar is really bold

Sissy 🌊

oh, I know 😁

it's one of the many reasons why I like him

Boeta 🏎

so you like him then ?

like, really like him ?

Sissy 🌊

yeah, I do boeta

Boeta 🏎

okay then...

invite him to the lunch tomorrow

Kelly has been dying to see the two of you together

Sissy 🌊

she's so prescious I love her

and thanks boeta, for being cool with all this

Boeta 🏎

hey, i may be protective, but who am I to tell you who you can and can't date sissy

Sissy 🌊

🥺🥺 , houd van je 💙

Boeta 🏎

mhm, hou ook van jou 💙

ynverstappen

liked by oscarpiastri, kellypiquet, and 878 301 others

[ tagged: oscarpiastri ]

ynverstappen had some cake by the ocean with my papaya boy... p.s yes, the cake he bought me brought me to tears 🍰 🧡 🌊

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user BYE I'M GONNA GO CRY IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE

user stop that cake is so cute 😭😭

oscarpiastri I'm just happy to call you mine, liefie :)

⤿ ynverstappen and I'm just as happy to be your liefie ❤

⤿ maxverstappen1 not the dutch- ya'll gonna make me puke.

⤿ kellypiquet max, stop bullying your sister and oscar and go clean the litter boxes dammit

⤿ ynverstappen oohhh, mother is mad now boet, better get to it then 😄

⤿ maxverstappen1 you're staying in my house.

⤿ ynverstappen says who ? I'm staying at oscar's – plus, you know how I love the aussie waves

[ liked by oscarpiastri ]

⤿ maxverstappen1 yn verstappen istg... girl gets a bf and thinks she's the shit.

⤿ kellypiquet MAX.

⤿ maxverstappen1 I'M GOING.

user can I make this comment section my roman empire ?

user I'm laughing and crying rn, this is too funny

[blackenedsnow]

I love ur writing so much could I maybe request p1 slowly learning to love and be loved 💔

p1 dude learning to love and be loved ; headcanons

WARNING: Emotional detachment, slow emotional healing, and mental health struggles.

PAIRING: Postal (1) Dude x Reader

NOTE: Thank you so much for your kind words! This is sooo sweet and I had so much fun writing this.

At the beginning, Dude is incredibly distant.

He’s been hardened by everything going on in his head, unable to trust anyone, and it takes time before he even acknowledges your presence as something more than just another person in his life.

He avoids eye contact, rarely speaks, and his body language is closed off.

He flinches at touch, even a casual hand on his shoulder can cause him to stiffen.

He’s not used to physical affection and struggles with it, associating touch with pain or vulnerability.

You notice this and take things slow, giving him space while offering gentle reassurances that you’re there for him.

The first step to breaking through his walls happens in small ways.

You notice that he tends to neglect himself—skipping meals, isolating for days, or losing himself in his own thoughts.

You leave food for him, make sure he has a clean place to rest, or leave a blanket for him when it gets cold.

Even though he has that coat on all the time.

He doesn’t thank you at first, but you notice him slowly accepting these gestures, even if he doesn’t show it outwardly.

There are rare moments when you catch a glimpse of his vulnerability.

Maybe it’s late at night when the weight of the paranoia becomes too much, and you find him staring out into the darkness, lost in thought.

You sit next to him, offering silent company.

He doesn’t say anything, but the fact that he doesn’t push you away is progress.

Trust comes slowly for him.

The first time he starts opening up to you, it’s not in the form of deep conversation but in subtle actions—he lets you sit closer to him, or he allows himself to relax slightly in your presence.

It’s a process of him realizing that not everyone wants to hurt him, and you’re someone who’s there to help, not judge.

Dude doesn’t know how to love anymore, not in the traditional sense.

But with time, he starts showing his affection in his own way—he might fix something for you, stand by your side, or give you something meaningful to him, even if it’s small.

He’s not one for grand romantic gestures, but his love is shown in quieter ways.

If you’re having a tough day, he’ll sit beside you in silence, offering his presence rather than words.

His touch remains tentative, but over time, you notice him reaching out—a hand on yours, or resting his head on your shoulder when he feels safe enough to do so.

His biggest fear is losing the one person who has stayed by his side.

The thought terrifies him because he knows how fleeting happiness can be.

When you notice him getting more protective, it’s not out of possessiveness but fear.

He doesn’t know how to express it, but the idea of losing you is unbearable to him.

It takes time for Dude to fully accept that he deserves love.

Even after he begins to care for you, there’s still a lingering doubt in his mind—why would anyone want to be with someone like him?

But as you continue to show him patience, understanding, and unconditional support, he starts to believe that maybe, just maybe, he’s worthy of love after all.

There’s a moment when the emotional walls he’s built start to crack.

Maybe it’s after a particularly difficult day, or when his fear catches up to him, but he finally lets his guard down in front of you.

He doesn’t say much, but he leans into your embrace, allowing himself to be vulnerable, if only for a moment.

It’s then that he realizes just how much he needs you.

Slowly but surely, Dude learns that love isn’t about perfection or being strong all the time.

It’s about support, about being there for one another, and allowing someone to care for you, even when you don’t feel like you deserve it.

You’re the person who teaches him that love can be a healing force, and while it’s not a magic fix, it’s a step towards a brighter future.

Dude may never be the most emotionally expressive person, but he’s learned how to love and be loved.

He starts to accept that it’s okay to rely on someone else, and while he may never fully leave behind his paranoia, with you by his side, he begins to find peace in the idea that love doesn’t have to hurt.