#p.s my favourite romcom

[lockburn-castle]

the city of love

synopsis in which dokyeom proposes to yn in Paris pairing nonidol!lee dokyeom x gn!reader genre fluff warnings dk being anxious, a small part about cabarets, terms of endearment/petnames, kisses, reader wears a dress, that's all i can think of (do let me know if theres more) word count 1.9k

playlist cant help falling in love marry you

notes: been loving romcoms for a while and decided to write this story based on what id like my proposal to look like HAHAHA hope yall like it !! p.s. 10 things i hate about you is one of my favourites <3 do give me more ideas for fics in the cmmts or send me an ask !!

As Dokyeom paced around the room, his mind raced with a whirlwind of thoughts. The suitcase in front of him was half-packed, clothes neatly folded, but his thoughts were anything but organized. The idea of proposing to you filled him with both excitement and anxiety. He glanced at the bag of balloons he’d slipped into his luggage, a reminder of the grand plan he had meticulously crafted for a few months now.

“What if they don’t say yes, hyung?” Dokyeom fretted, pacing around their room as he packed for the trip with Y/N. His phone was on speaker, and he were calling the group for some last-minute advice.

“Have you seen the way they look at you?” Seungkwan’s voice came through, trying to sound reassuring. “I’m pretty sure they’ll say yes.”

“If they say no, can I steal them from you?” Dino joked with a laugh. “They make amazing cookies.”

“Not helping,” Dokyeom mumbled, nervously folding another shirt into their suitcase.

Dokyeom's fingers brushed the edge of the velvet ring box, its weight a tangible symbol of his hopes and fears. “I just hope everything goes smoothly. What if all this effort is for nothing? They might leave me.”

“Don’t worry about all of that,” Jeonghan advised gently. “Remember to have fun. Trust the plan. Everything will fall into place if it’s meant to be.”

“And don’t forget to pack the ring,” S.Coups chimed in with a grin that Dokyeom could practically hear.

Dokyeom took a deep breath, nodding even though no one could see him. “Alright, I think I’m all packed. Let’s hope everything goes according to plan.�� He muttered the last part.

Everything had gone surprisingly well so far. You and Dokyeom had talked about this trip to Paris for years, but something always got in the way. Now, finally, both of you were able to take a seven-day leave and make it happen. The city felt like something out of a dream — timeless, and full of hidden wonders.

On the first day, after landing in Paris, you both felt the excitement settle in as you headed straight to the Louvre. The enormous layout of the museum took your breath away as you went inside, surrounded by art from all around the world. Walking hand in hand, you wove through the maze of halls, pausing at famous works like the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory of Samothrace.

When you reached the sculpture Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss, you both stood in awe. The way the marble figures intertwined seemed almost too lifelike, as if they were frozen in a moment of affection. You couldn’t help but admire the way the light bounced off the smooth stone, highlighting every detail. Dokyeom’s arm hugged your waist as you both took in the beauty and history surrounding you.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” You whispered, eyes fixed on the sculpture.

Dokyeom nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, but you know what’s even more beautiful?” He turned to look at you, his smile widening.

You rolled your eyes playfully, nudging him gently. “You’re such a cheeseball.”

“I mean it, though,” he chuckled, squeezing your hand. “I still can’t believe we’re here. Together.”

In that moment, surrounded by art and history, everything felt perfectly right.

You spent more time at the Louvre than planned, snapping tons of photos for Instagram and for your own memories.

On the second day, you and Dokyeom decided to explore the Montmartre, starting with the stunning Sacré-Cœur Basilica. The white domes stood out against the sky, offering an amazing view of Paris below. Inside, the intricate mosaics shimmered in the light, creating a serene atmosphere as you took in the stunning architecture.

After leaving the Basilica, you strolled through the nearby Place du Tertre, a lively square filled with the buzz of street artists and their easels. You and Dokyeom sat down to get your portraits done, soaking in the lively atmosphere. The atmosphere was vibrant, with the sounds of sketching, laughter, and conversations blending together into a perfect Montmartre experience.

After a delicious lunch at a little café, you both headed to the Musée d'Orsay. There, you found yourself captivated by masterpieces from artists like Van Gogh and Monet. Each painting seemed to pull you into its world, and the museum’s elegant interior only enhanced the experience. The two of you wandered through the halls, taking in every detail of the beautiful works of art.

As evening approached, your excitement began to build. You were about to experience the legendary Moulin Rouge, a cabaret show in Paris you’d heard so much about. Dokyeom, always full of surprises, had secretly bought tickets for the famous venue. As you arrived, the bright lights, vibrant costumes, and captivating performances whisked you away to a world of entertainment you had only dreamed of. Checking "watching a cabaret show" off your bucket list felt even more magical than you had imagined.

By the third day, you decided to slow things down, spending the afternoon at the Champ de Mars for a picnic, with the Eiffel Tower looming gracefully above. You both laughed as you watched tourists pose dramatically in front of the landmark, feeling content in your own world together. Later, you took a scenic cruise along the Seine River, the water shimmering in the late afternoon light.

The two of you returned to the hotel room early to prepare for a special dinner at the Eiffel Tower, a night you had anticipated with excitement. You had chosen a stunning white Chanel mini dress, its chic simplicity accentuated by black off-shoulder sleeves that framed your shoulders gracefully. A delicate ribbon, adorned with a Chanel camellia, cinched the waist, adding a touch of timeless elegance. The soft glow of the evening light made the fabric shimmer subtly as you moved.

Dokyeom had chosen a new suit to complement your outfit. His classic black and white suit was impeccably tailored, with a simple yet elegant Chanel brooch pinned to the lapel.

“I had to pick out a new suit to match you, you know,” he said with a playful smile. “And I didn’t want to risk being turned away because of the dress code.”

“I'm glad though. You look handsome as always.”

After taking some photos on the balcony, you headed out to the restaurant. As you were about to leave, Dokyeom asked you to wait outside while he spoke with the concierge.

You were puzzled by the request, but when he returned, he explained that he had arranged for extra towels and soap to be delivered to your room. You didn’t think much of it and continued your way to the dinner venue.

The both of you indulged in a long-awaited culinary experience at Le Jules Verne, a restaurant you had been eager to visit ever since seeing it in Murder Mystery 2. Dining high above Paris with panoramic views of the city, the experience was as unforgettable as you had hoped. The sophisticated atmosphere and exquisite cuisine made it a perfect end to a delightful day — or so you thought.

Back at the hotel, Dokyeom asked you to close your eyes. He gently guided you into the room, covering your eyes with his hands.

“Close your eyes.”

“What are you up to? Don’t do anything silly; this dress is expensive!” you chided, knowing he might do something playful.

“Relax, I’m not doing anything stupid. Are they closed?”

“Yes, kyeom, they are. What’s going on?”

“Keep them closed. I’ll let go now.”

He removed his hands, and you heard him shuffling things around. “Okay, you can open them now.”

You slowly opened your eyes and took in the breathtaking scene before you. Rose petals were delicately scattered from the entrance of the hotel room, leading to a heart-shaped arrangement in the center, where Dokyeom stood, enveloped in a sea of petals. He held a bouquet of roses, their vibrant colors contrasting beautifully with the soft light of the room. Silver balloons floated on the windows, their reflective letters spelling out “Marry Me?” Your heart raced as you took in every detail, feeling a wave of emotion swell within you.

As you stepped further into the room, Dokyeom moved to stand within the heart of petals, his eyes full of love and nervous anticipation. He handed you the bouquet, his hands trembling slightly, then knelt down with a deep breath, pulling out a ring box. Your breath hitched as you saw the ring — its diamond gleamed with a brilliance that seemed to capture all the warmth and love in the room, shimmering with every flicker of light.

“Dokyeom…”

“Y/N, love, these five years with you have been the most incredible of my life. You’ve been my rock through every high and low, my constant when everything else was uncertain. I can’t imagine a future without you, and I want to continue building that future together. I want to create more memories with you, face every challenge side by side, and share every joy. My love for you is beyond words. Will you marry me?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over as you nodded, your voice choked with emotion. “Yes, of course I will. I love you so much.” You extended your left hand, and with a gentle, reverent touch, he slid the ring onto your finger. The moment felt suspended in time, the diamond’s brilliance reflecting your shared happiness and the promise of a future together.

“Okay, thank God, because my heart was pounding and my knees were killing me,” he joked, making you laugh as you admired the ring.

“I had it custom-made.”

“Really? It’s perfect,” you said, turning your hand to catch the light. The ring’s elegant design and intricate details made it feel even more special. “I love it.”

“Yeah. I thought you’d like it more this way. I had fun designing it and made sure to include all the details you love,” he said, as you admired the diamond sparkling in the moonlight.

“Thank you, Dokyeom. This has been absolutely amazing.” You looked at him and gave him a kiss.

“Let’s take some pictures!” you said, grabbing your camera.

That night, after posting some photos on Instagram, your phone buzzed incessantly with congratulations and likes. But you barely noticed, wrapped up in the comfort of late-night snacks and your favorite movies, nestled beside your new fiancé.

“By the way, how did you pull off that incredible surprise?” you asked, gazing at Dokyeom with curiosity.

“Well, the concierge is a secret weapon,” Dokyeom said with a mischievous grin. “They’re like fairy godparents for tonight. I think they were so charmed by the proposal that they didn’t charge me a thing. They said it was the sweetest thing they’d ever seen — except maybe the time a couple asked them to help with a proposal on a gondola in Venice. ”

You laughed softly, feeling a rush of warmth and affection. “I love you, Dokyeom,” you said, your voice soft as you gazed into his eyes.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied. He gently pressed a kiss to your forehead, a gesture that made your heart swell even more.

In that moment, surrounded by the soft glow of the room and the cozy comfort of each other’s presence, everything felt perfect.

You had always thought people exaggerated when they called Paris the city of love. But experiencing it firsthand, you couldn’t agree more.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello!

I was finally able to post that jealousy fic I've been working on, I hope it is something you like. No pressure if you don't have the time right now, I know you are swamped with work hehe.

But, I did want to let you know that your writing has brought me a lot of comfort and clarity recently. It means a lot to me that I have that. So thank you. I hope this brings you a smile during your busy week.

P.S. They might seem a bit OOC because writing about Max's insecurity is still hard for me. Plus, they are not my characters so I am bound to maybe not write something the way you would, but I think that's why writing is great. It's all up to interpretation sometimes.

Anyway, I hope enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It's pinned on my profile for when you have the time. on to writing the body-image fic I have in my head for them.

Jade!!! This was so cool!! Thank you for writing (and sharing!!!)

First of all, gotta compliment you on this moodboard because it's stunning ahhhh!

This was NOT what I expected at all! I thought it was a jealousy fic but the fic being about David being frustrated over Max's lack of jealousy is very in-character! Of course, his insecurities would make him think it's because Max doesn't care about him that much. We def would've explored it in LDV if it was written from David's POV, so I was very happy to see it.

I love a good masquerade ball so this was AMAZING. I was wondering if you had any inspo for the outfits or had any songs you listened to when you wrote this? Just curious 🥹

Some of my favourite parts:

When Max said everyone was there for the prince, but he was there for David. That's it. That's the essence of their relationship.

The black mesh lace shirt 👀

"Every romance book he’s read, or movie he’s watched has shown that one couple in the club where one of them gets hit on and the other one gets super-hot and bothered. They get jealous because their person is important to them." - This bit was REALLY cool because it shows that every idea David has of love is from the media he has consumed (which is not healthy) and that is influencing his expectations for a real relationship. I loved this!!

Also there is always that creepy guy in a mavid fic istg NEED THEM AWAY FROM MAVID

" I want to make him jealous, not hurt" - a very David thing to say.

“He looks a bit too comfortable, no?” + “I mean yeah I guess, it's your relationship”  - MADELEINE STFU

“Do I care more about our boundaries and monogamy than him?” “Was that biphobic? I think that was Bi-phobic” - This was a very interesting/important connection to make. I loved that you did that because that is indeed a stereotype attached to a lot of bi people. At least my boi is self-aware 😌

“I’ll guard the door while you two imbeciles work this out" - Jackson 🩵

“No, you did nothing! That’s the problem.”  “I don’t get it?”  - THIS IS SUCH A ROMCOM FIGHT AND I LOVE IT.

Max calling David 'my man'.

"There are so many people in your life who tell you what to do, especially with your body. I don’t want to be one of them, I won’t be one of them. " 💙

"they do not threaten me because they will never love you like I do." - 🥹🥹

"You are a good man" SAY IT LOUDER

This was so much fun to read! Thank you, babygirl 💜

[luveline]

hi jade baby!! here’s a super small (but festive) commentary on your most recent steve fic <3

baby you won me over at the very first line. we love the bf who hates christmas x gf who loves christmas trope <3

Steve has always thought you were pretty, in the same way he thinks that grass is green and stars shine at night.

oh i loved that bit!!! so much!!! stating that he thinks her being pretty is something so obvious as the green grass or shiny stars 🥺🥺 that was lovely!!

STEVIE BEING JEALOUS OF HER LAUGHING AT EDDIES ANTICS!!! he’s so boyfriend

Dorks combined with too much imagination, their gingerbread house has become a sort of macabre scene with a dead gingerbread man outlined in the snow surrounding, and icing stalagmites rise under the roof’s overhang.

shut up i love them i wanna team up with em

Christmas makes Robin squishy, like she's forgotten how shitty the world is

okay me <3

You look pretty, and Steve's not one for dramatics but he wishes he was dead. 

dramatic steve is my favourite steve

When he's with you, Steve feels as though everything — every movement, every moment — is broken down into its finest details. He thinks he could draw your fingerprint if asked, each miniscule line embossed into his skin as you touch him. 

being able to draw her fingerprint as a allusion to paying attention to every small detail. that was sick.

That's all he does, lately. Finds new ways to fall in love with you. 

i don’t have anything to say about that, just wanted to highlight it. also you’re insane ily

stevie LIGHTING UP when he sees the mistletoe IMMEDIATELY followed by eddies voice and the “oh, no” literally christmas romcom material baby that was so funny

AND EDDIE STANDING RIGHT UNDER THE MISTLETOE WITH HER please i should be focusing on steve and you’re making it SO HARD FOR ME

snow falling down during their first kiss!!! literally 90s/early 2000s christmas romcom material (i hope u know im the biggest christmas romcom fan so i mean this as a huge compliment!!!)

The snow — the snow, which had fallen thick and fine as powdered sugar, which you adore, and which makes coming to see you in the days leading up to Christmas near impossible. It's something out of a movie, Steve, seriously, and you need to appreciate what's happening. 

THATS WHAT IM SAYINGGGG

you won't sing, but the small sounds alone are enough to make him want to kiss you (though everything does now). He can't hate Here Comes Santa Claus when you hum along under your breath, lips skipping over the skin of his bicep, your hand scratching a rhythm into his hair.

THOUGH EVERYTHING DOES NOW. sickening. actually insane. the cutest thing I’ve ever read.

Thank little baby Jesus in the manger for Christmas sweaters so you have something to tuck into your skirt, so you have a reason to wear a skirt at all, and a reason to take one off. 

not the little baby jesus in the manger oh my god.

"Merry Christmas," he murmurs. He really, really means it. 

grumpy bf who hates christmas softens after getting with gf who loves christmas has to be my favourite trope <3333

jade my darling my ANGEL i don’t think I’ll ever get over how talented you are!!! the way your writing is so fluid and coherent and so so lovely that makes me picture every little detail you mention like it’s a little movie in my head!! and if this actually was a christmas romcom movie, it’d be the best one!! you’re the best!! i love you!! 💌 - lu

p.s.: you have no idea how upset i was when i realised there’s no mistletoe emoji. please imagine there’s a little mistletoe right at the top of this ask, okay? thank you.

lu spoils me for the one thousandth time 😭😭😭 I love so much to see what parts you liked it's so validating and genuinely such a treat like I know it takes time and effort and I appreciate it so much, I'm glad you liked it! I love you

[unravelingthepages]

She Gets The Girl- Go read it!!

Hi! She Gets The Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick is frankly amazing! I went into the book with slightly mixed reviews, the majority favorable but there were two or three that said it wasn’t all that great. So I was beyond happy to find that this book surpassed all my expectations. It is now officially one of my favourite romances, and I will absolutely be recommending this to you. So go read it! A definite 5 stars.

The Plot

Alex Blackwood is a little bit headstrong, with a dash of chaos and a whole lot of flirt. She knows how to get the girl. Keeping her on the other hand…not so much. Molly Parker has everything in her life totally in control, except for her complete awkwardness with just about anyone besides her mom. She knows she’s in love with the impossibly cool Cora Myers. She just…hasn’t actually talked to her yet. Alex and Molly don’t belong on the same planet, let alone the same college campus. But when Alex, fresh off a bad (but hopefully not permanent) breakup, discovers Molly’s hidden crush as their paths cross the night before classes start, they realize they might have a common interest after all. Because maybe if Alex volunteers to help Molly learn how to get her dream girl to fall for her, she can prove to her ex that she’s not a selfish flirt. That she’s ready for an actual commitment. And while Alex is the last person Molly would ever think she could trust, she can’t deny Alex knows what she’s doing with girls, unlike her. As the two embark on their five-step plans to get their girls to fall for them, though, they both begin to wonder if maybe they’re the ones falling…for each other.

Why you should read it

Lets start with the characters. Both were amazing and their transition from tolerating each other to grudging friends to ‘you’re the best friend I’ve ever had’ to ”I love you’ was- *chef’s kiss*. I related to them both and felt for them so much.

The dynamics between the characters were interesting because they showed different sides of Alex and Molly. Especially their respective relationships with their mothers. Alex had so many layers to her and I loved seeing her have open conversations with Molly, especially after never having a support system.

This book takes place over the course of a little more than a month so Alex and Molly’s relationship has just begun laying its foundation but I can just see them living together and being the supportive family Alex never got.

I loved that the book was from both their perspectives. Seeing them both fall in love was amazing. And okay, this book is supposed to be a romcom, right? So why was I crying???! It was simply amazing, the last library scene especially. I cried. Though it did make me laugh out loud too, so I guess calling it a romcom isn’t unfounded.

All-in-all, go read it!!! Have you read this book? Please tell me you loved it as much as me! And if not, tell me how you found it anyway, I’d love to know about your experience with She Gets The Girl.

P.S finding out that the authors were married at the end of the book literally made my day. and the fact that it’s dedicated to themselves? i can cry.

i don’t know how to explain this but when I read a book I can’t imagine the faces of the characters? like they’re just faceless blobs but at the same time I know what their exact expressions are at any given moment

[actualbird]

hihi crow anon here !! i saw your ask about you not watching many romance movies and thought, what would the tot guys favourite movie genre be ??

p.s. i saw that you enjoyed action movies a lot more and i feel like luke would be the exact same !!

HULLO CROW!!! very sorry this ask took a while, my brain has been the pear_wiggler.gif for a few days kJBKJSKFSD

nxx boys' favorite movie genres (and how it's like watching movies with them bc i swerved a bit with my thoughts)

wc: 1.6k

luke pearce: enjoys watching action movies but oh my god you do not want to watch them with him

ur right, i love action movies and also i love projecting on luke pearce and thus luke pearce loves action movies as well. the caveat though is that if you watch an action movie with luke pearce, you will want to strangle him the entire time. because every second any fight scene or car chase or ANYTHING is happening on screen, luke quietly murmurs "Well, Actually---" before going on to explain why whats going on is unrealistic, see, john wick is using a Heckler and Koch P30L and this type of handgun doesnt actually---

mc: SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST WATCH THE MOVIE OH MY GOD

luke cant help it!!!! hes BEEN in most of these scenes irl and i just remember that one time in his personal story 2 when they were in the escape room talking about Zero and Zero's lover mc was like "hhhh this is so sweet, Zero fell in love" and luke was like "Well, Actually thats not possible because Zero is an android and according to the Turing Test---" LIKE. LUKE DOES THIS. HES SUCH A DORK AND ANNOYING ABOUT IT (AFFECTIONATE)

the reason luke enjoys action movies isnt because of the accuracy (which he maintains is never present) it's because action movies are fun and stupid and gets adrenaline going with no risk to anybody irl. plus, he just seems like the type of guy that has to see an explosion every week for his emotional wellbeing.

his favorite action movie, even if it's inaccurate, is The Raid (2011). the fight choreography in there is just fuckin impeccable to him (and to me KJBKJSKF)

luke's guilty pleasure tho is romcoms. he and mc had watched a bunch of them growing up and so theres a handful of "old" (remember: luke and mc were born in 2006) 90s romcoms that are comfort movies to him. so watching any romcom will get a pavlovian response of "ah, cozy happy content peace and harmony on earth" from him

artem wing: many genres because hes That Guy Who Likes Film but hes not annoying to watch those films with, drawn towards historical/period and sci-fi movies tho

artem the movie critic!!! the guy who reviews movies under an alias apparently (god hes such a nerd)!!! the guy who, in his personal story 2, was so puzzled when he watched that one office romance drama that the only review he left was "..." (REAL SHIT, NOT JOKING, IT SAYS HE DID THIS IN THE ILLUSTRATION). artem wing is That Guy Who Likes Film and one would think thatd make him fucking insufferable, but artem's Film Guy energy is softened like butter into something beautiful and endearing and, most importantly, tolerable, because i think artem would rather jump off a building than ever "mansplain"

but yea since he likes films, hes been around, in terms of genre!! very well rounded and will probably have polite and earnest recommendations for any genre u want to get into.

hes never the type to Talk while a movie is playing as well, he wants to enjoy the experience and if hes with another person, he wants them to enjoy as well. any and all discussion on what has been watched only occurs once the credits are rolling. artem wing clenches his fist ever so slightly, when hes watching movies with the others. "marius, luke," he says calmly but in the kind of calm that betrays his desire to get a roll of duct tape to shut those two up. "stop commentating, the movie is not done yet."

his faaaavorite genres though are historical/period films and sci-fi!!! former is bc hes SUCH a repressed bastard and i know hes watched Pride and Prejudice (2005) way too many times always internally thinking, "God, Darcy, you held her hand without gloves? What's next, a lapdance?"

and latter bc hes a nerd and hes mentioned his love for sci-fi!!! just my two cents, but i think artem is a trekkie through and through and he absolutely fucking hated what JJ Abrams did to star trek in the reboot. in general artem gravitates to the more cerebral sci-fi movies. Arrival (2016), Interstellar (2014), Annihilation (2018), that kinda stuff.

i cannot stress this enough, artem is the best to watch movies with if ur the type to really fixate on the movie. because hes fixating on the movie too. like no thoughts, head empty, only cinema, and when the movie is done, thats the only time u will both realize that over the course of watching, the two of you had fallen into a Position Of Cuddling. artem dies, immediately and politely extricates himself from the cuddle, turning away so that nobody sees 1) how red his face is and 2) how badly he wants to go back into that cuddle

marius von hagen: just the most dramatic bullshit possible

okay if what marius is watching does not have a scene where a door is slammed open and a character comes in saying "the paternity test came back and.....HE'S.....HE'S THE FATHER!!!!!!!" or something equal or more than that kind of ridiculous over the top drama, then hes honestly not that interested in it anymore kJBKJSKGJKSDG

his favorite movies are not limited to the defined and accepted genres of movies, his favorites are all over the place but are similar in the sense that theyre kitschy and camp and Doesnt Have To Be Like That But Valiantly Continues To Be Like That Anyway, these are movies that have the vibes of a neon purple flip phone with enough colorful keychains hanging off of it that it wouldnt look amiss if you put it in the hand of the roman who was beating jesus.

I KNOW THE ABOVE DESCRIPTION SOUNDS ABSTRACT so i will give examples: Mamma Mia! (2018), Con Air (1997), Tall Girl (2019)

yes marius has watched Tall Girl (2019) but the one time he said "You think your life is hard? I'm a high school junior wearing size 13 Nikes." luke stuck his foot out and tripped him, sending him face first into the floor. true story. mc, vyn, and artem were there. they clapped.

additionally, hes a noisy person to watch movies with. not in terms of reactions but in terms of his OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING. if luke is only commenting on the accuracy of being able to drift a car sideways on the road, marius is commenting on everything and then commenting on his comments on everything. the only way hes gonna shut up during a movie is if somebody makes out with him (which was his plan all along 🥴🥴🥴)

vyn richter: nature documentaries

mc: ah, vyn, technically a nature documentary isn't a movie genre-

vyn: watch Patagonia: Earth's Secret Paradise (2015) with me and afterwards, let me know if you have changed your mind

and they watch it together and mc changes her mind

IT'S CINEMA, OKAY!! IM ON VYN'S FUCKIN SIDE HERE!!!! nature documentaries have the plot, the cinematography, the direction, the emotional stakes, theyve got it all while showcasing the narratives of nature. of course, vyn is aware that some nature documentaries can overdramatize some aspects of nature for the feels points, but thats fine for him. if hes going to cry to anything, hed rather cry at animals. they deserve his sincere tears.

(sidenote: ive been thinking lately about how in canon, vyn is/was a hunter. that fascinates me hugely, i see him having a very staunch and unshakeable respect for all creatures of nature. he thinks hunting for sport is distasteful and wrong as it does not utilize the body of the animal for a needed resource food/clothing/etc., instead just as a medium for (mostly) men to stroke their own egos. IDK, I THINK VYN HAS A RLLY GOOD GRASP ON the circle of life, in nature, it's lovely, please feed me venison u hunted, vyn. thank you)

(sidenote 2: vyn would make a REALLY good nature documentary narrator. now thats some asmr i'd love to have...)

watching movies with vyn is much like watching movies with artem, he is focused on the movie and does not speak much unTIL it is somehow made clear to him that you do not mind commentary. once that has happened, please expect vyn to be quietly making jabs at anything he sees onscreen that he thinks is particularly stupid kJBKJF.

bonus: hey what if mc actually really really fucking loved horror movies?

luke is going on and on about how "nope, you cant actually use that murder weapon like tha---[jumpscare]---jeSUS FUCKing CHRIST" and he pulls a knife out of his boot, ready to attack

artem is absolute silence. once the movie is done, mc is excited to gush about all the parts she enjoyed when artem stiffly says "would it be alright if. you did not. leave me alone. tonight."

marius is doing a running commentary the entire time but every time something scary happens he jerks in shock, steadily getting more on edge. once it's done, he's switched on EVERY LIGHT IN THE APARTMENT.

vyn seems fine the entire time thru the movie and even after it. but then he gets up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and then the sound of a raccoon outside rattling a garbage bin makes him scream so goddamn loud.

thanks for this ask crow!!! i hope you enjoy this :DDD

[hatsukeii]

Hi! 2, 4, 6, 8, 12, 14 for Kageyama from the headcanons list?? If it's too many, just choose whichever interest you the most! Thank you! 💜

Hhhhh ty for requesting!!

I have so many ideas from Kageyama after seeing the latest few chapters all over my explore page on ig, this should be fun~

Btw just because I crave fluff and made up romantic scenarios I will be including you as a female s/o, I hope you’re fine w that bc I’m terrible at writing same sex fanfics and I feel like including you might be fun too, sorry if it’s not what you prefer, I’ll write up another one if you want!!

(You aren’t mentioned excessively though, so don’t worry!!)

Warnings: Mild manga spoilers that have to do with Kageyama’s backstory, nothing too major though, and angstangstangstangstangst-

2. How are they like on social media?

- Kageyama’s probably one that doesn’t really have that much regarding social media.

- However he would probably have the most common ones.

- Instagram, snapchat, maybe twitter too.

- He also has tiktok now that you’ve basically forced him to download it.

- Definitely uses instagram the most out of everything he has.

- Username: milkboykags

- Followers: 992 (Since he’s pretty popular through playing volleyball.)

- Following: 745 (He tries to follow most of his followers back if they have mutual friends between them, even if it’s a fan.)

- Profile pic: Probably one of those grunge shaky pics of him with a few of the Karasuno team members and you with a dark background and stuff.

- Bio: If you don’t have milk, don’t bother looking for me. ~Me, 2k19 (He hasn’t updated his bio a year lol.)

- His instagram feed is actually pretty aesthetic.

- He has one volleyball post of the entire team at the beach playing beach volleyball while the sun sets.

- He’s way too proud of that post.

- Another one of his posts was taken when you two were on an arcade date (At that time he hadn’t confessed yet, but he asked you out just to do that) and he sneaked a photo of you trying to get a unicorn plush from one of those claw machines.

- That one he’s gonna be keeping in his feed forever.

- He has a collection of highlights.

- There’s one for volleyball practice shenanigans, one for those little dates he takes you on, another one for full on group hangouts, then one of camera wars with random people that try taking photos of him, most likely you or Hinata.

- His feed basically revolves around this filter recipe he made for instagram, which makes his photos look cooler toned and more faded.

(P.s dm me if you want the recipe bc i made it on vsco lmao no I’m not a vsco girl don’t worry.)

- He doesn’t really use snapchat and twitter.

- Only does streaks with you and the volleyball team.

- Tiktok though, is a whole other story.

- Username: givemethecows

- Followers: 1405 (People from both tiktok and instagram.)

- Following: 200

- Bio: I make videos and shit.

- Profile pic: Bass boosted you like jazz meme (Bass boosted but photo if you get me.)

- Kageyama has this whole lowkey eboy thing going on with his tiktok.

- Most the time his videos are just a way to show his weird sense of humour or his sense of style that screams casual eboy.

- Since you forced him to get tiktok, you also forced him to learn dances with you.

- He’s terrible at those.

- Like very bad.

- He managed to break a pair of Tsukishima’s glasses while doing the renegade at break.

- And almost twisted his hips trying to throw it back as a joke.

- Needless to say it’s both hilarious and embarrassing for Kageyama.

- There are also tiktoks of him doing insane volleyball tricks on camera like the demon quick, the synchronised attack, and his jump serve etc.

- Which have gained him quite the following on the platform.

- In conclusion, Kageyama is generally pretty good at social media, but sucks ass at dancing.

4. What is Kageyama’s preferred weather?

- Surprisingly, Kageyama doesn’t like sunny weather. At all.

- For him, it’s the absolute worst thing.

- He think that sunny weather is way too annoying and hot and stuffy and gross.

- Plus, going out for morning runs in sunny weather is like wearing 10 jackets in hell.

- Like you can put on an extra layer if you’re cold but you can’t just strip naked if you’re hot.

- Oh my god he hates it so much it pains him to even think about it.

- He likes rainy days.

- Definitely not his favourite though.

- Rainy days usually mean staying home for the entire day.

- He can just laze around in his house, do whatever he wants.

- The sound of rain against glass windows soothes him.

- The constant sounds of droplets hitting the windows give him a sense of tranquility and peace.

- He will quite literally, fall asleep to those sounds.

- However rainy days do have their drawbacks.

- One of them, is having to stay home.

- Kageyama likes going for runs just to take in some fresh air, but that won’t work when it’s raining cats and dogs now will it.

- Plus, it means everything he does is restricted in his house unless he can get to an indoor gym that’s open.

- Boring.

- So he prefers windy days, when the cold breeze grazes his skin and the sun hides behind the fluffy clouds.

- It’s those days where he doesn’t have to suffer the heat that the sun brings upon him, nor does he have to suffer the feeling of rainwater dripping from the tips of his hair.

- He can do whatever he wants and still feel at ease and comfortable.

- Quite literally everything he asks for in a day.

6. Favourite music?

- Let’s be real, Kageyama probably isn’t good at music.

- He can’t dance or sing to save his life.

- However, he does enjoy how listening to music calms his nerves and gives him a chance to relax, even if he’s in a situation where he should be focused on an assignment or a piece of class work.

- People would expect him to enjoy listening to EDM or alternative rock, but no.

- This boy likes to listen to lofi and love songs.

- This doesn’t mean that his playlist only consists of these two genres, but the majority of songs in his playlist are either chill lofi beats or songs that give you the feels.

- Some of his favourite artists are Jeremy Zucker, Blackbear, Conan Gray, Billie Eilish, Lauv, Clairo, Wallows, Khalid, BENEE, Post Malone, Coldplay, Rex Orange County, Green Day, Shiloh Dynasty, Kina, love-sadKID, and the Arctic Monkeys.

- Has like 5 different playlists for different moods and events.

- One for moody times, one for study beats, one for when he wants throwbacks, one for firing him up before volleyball matches, and one for if he ever has to DJ in the front seat of someone’s car.

- Prefers to listen to music by himself.

- You’re an exception though.

- If he’s with you, you get one earbud, but he’ll be the one choosing the music still.

- You two have pretty contrasting tastes when it comes to music.

- He likes softer songs and lofi the most, whilst you prefer old rock and alternative rock. Oh and also a lot of throwback songs.

- I feel like Kageyama has definitely cried to a few songs when he was going through hard times.

- To him, listening to music is also a way of releasing all the inner conflict and frustrations.

- (Spoiler for backstory) When his grandfather died, he put Fix You on loop for at least 20 minutes.

- He was just numb, curled up into a ball on his bed, staring at the wall. He couldn’t feel anything. Nothing in his mind registered properly. All he could think of, was everything his grandfather had taught him, before he eventually passed away.

- Submerging himself into the melancholy song he was listening to, he didn’t even feel the tears that were now streaming down his face.

- The salty tears were now staining his pillow, creating little wet spots.

- He listened to every single lyric in the song, clutching his sheets harder every time the chorus came up.

- He punched his mattress repeatedly, still unable to accept the fact that someone he held so dear to his heart had just left like the wind.

- It wasn’t long until he was a sobbing mess, shaking and whimpering as he knelt on the bed.

- Silently sang to the lyrics, plopping back to his bed in defeat.

- His sister lingered in front of the door for five whole minutes, eventually leaving to let Kageyama sort out his feelings himself.

- You introduce a ton of new songs to him, since he doesn’t know that much about anything else other than lofi and sad songs.

- Just please no one let him listen to Nickleback. Please. He doesn’t need to know about it.

8. Movie that he would choose for a move nigh?

- The monthly Karasuno volleyball team movie night was finally here, and it was Kageyama’s turn to choose a movie this time, much to Tsukishima’s dismay.

- He’s put a lot of thought into this, not wanting to disappoint his teammates by choosing a shitty movie.

- He basically tried to figure out what everyone wanted to watch.

- However, everyone had very contrasting requests.

- Tsukishima wanted to watch Jurassic Park, Yamaguchi wanted a Disney movie, Hinata wanted something Marvel, Tanaka and Nishinoya wanted a horror movie, (Mainly so they could hit on you whilst you were still single) Sugawara wanted a romcom, Yachi wanted a comedy, and the others were fine with anything.

- He stressed himself out way too much trying to choose one movie.

- He finally got an idea after 3 entire days of thinking.

- And it wasn’t anything the team expected.

- Kageyama pulled up with Pulp Fiction.

- He’s seen that movie at least 5 times already.

- It was the perfect mix of comedy, gore, action, and philosophy.

- Plus, anything that starred Samuel L Jackson was worth a watch.

- Till this day, it remains one of his go to movies, alongside any MCU movie. (Captain America: The First Avenger is definitely his favourite though.)

12. Something small that they enjoy?

- One of the two small things Kageyama enjoys doing is baking cookies.

- Cookies in particular.

- I mean, there really is no detailed explanation.

- He’s pretty good at baking in general, even Tsukishima enjoys the cookies he bakes.

- Plus, he gets to dip the cookies in milk, what’s there not to enjoy?

- Another little thing he enjoys a lot is actually photography.

- Most the time, when he sees a pretty sky, or a city street at nighttime.

- He can’t help himself but snap a few photos here and there.

- Something about a well shot photo just hits different.

- Sometimes, he brings his camera out just to takes nice photos.

- Whenever you two are on dates, he’ll be able to capture candid or motion shots of when you’re just looking out the window of a bus mindlessly, or when you’re twirling around on the street playfully.

- Photos speak a thousand words, and honestly? He lives by that.

14. What is enough to bring him to tears?

- Support.

- Kageyama really needs support from someone he cares about.

- And no, not like support from his teammates.

- That’s different from hearing someone cheer from the stands.

- (Spoiler for backstory) Kageyama’s parents never gave much attention to him, since they were always busy with work. The only person that ever showed support for him was his grandfather, who passed away while he was still young.

- As if that wasn’t enough shit directed towards Kageyama, his teammates abandoned him during a match in junior high not long after the death of his grandfather.

- Which means that Kageyama now has lowkey abandonment issues.

- All through his volleyball journey he never got the support and reassurance he needed.

- He watched in envy as people from opposing teams, or even his own teammates, waved at their family members after they won or lost a match.

- All he could do was stare at the stands, hoping to catch just a glimpse of a family member.

- Nothing.

- Nobody realised how alone Kageyama felt during and after matches, until they watched him break down in tears after a particular match.

- It was the Spring Match against Seijoh, and Karasuno was playing like normal.

- Kageyama was insanely good as usual.

- What he didn’t notice then, was that you had dragged his sister Miwa to the match just so you both could cheer for him.

- In addition to that, you were also wearing his jersey.

- It wasn’t until the final point was scored, did he hear you and Miwa scream from the stands.

- Hearing the familiar voices, his head basically snapped in your direction, scanning the stadium for someone familiar, before landing his eyes on you and his older sister.

- His eyes widened for a hot second, his mind running in circles.

- Nobody has ever cheered for him.

- But here you two were, cheering for him from the stands.

- And you were wearing his jersey.

- A hand went up to cover his mouth, a huge grin spreading.

- One drop.

- Two drops.

- Then came the waterworks.

- The entire team was shocked.

- Like shookth.

- The two of you ran down to the arena, engulfing Kageyama in a huge hug.

- Best moment of his fucking life.

- From then on, the Karasuno team members made sure to notify you of any matches they had against other schools, hoping you and Miwa could go cheer.

- You two haven’t missed a single match since.

Whoooo three hours of work and going straight to Netflix at 2:30am, what a life.

I couldn’t resist I’m sorry casual or slight angst is my favourite genre of hc and fanfic-

I hope you liked this xx😗👉👈

[heavydirtysoul-24]

Events of the past two weeks made me realize something really important.

From the very beginning of my life everything around me (from books and movies to the actual people) was about two people in a relationships and how it makes them 'whole' and better. Even though it's sweet, fun and romantic, it also has this one negative thing associated: that somehow if you do not have a partner you are less than.

For some people it may sound crazy or dumb, but I really believed all of this for a long long time. It took one guy's attempt to "flirt" (idk how to even call it) with me that made me realize: I just don't need it right now. Simple as that. What is really important is me. And it's not selfish, it's just realistic.

The point is: You don't have to jump in a relationship just beacause everybody around are doing it. Just be you. Do what's best for you, and don't apologise for chosing yourself. Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

P.S. I don't hate romance, romcomes and all that. I sincerely enjoy it, I just see it differently now. To be completely honest soundtrack of "To All The Boys" may be my favourite to dance to in 1 a.m. in my room, and I'm not ashamed of it 'cause it feels good. Peace ;)

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEW: 10 Blind Dates by Ashley Elston!

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Age Recommendation: 14+

Genres: Contemporary, Romance, Family, Holidays, Romcom

Release Date: October 1st, 2019

Add this book to your TBR on Goodreads here.

You can read my other reviews here, here, here and here.

This review may contain unintended spoilers.

I received an ARC of this title as an Indigo Employee. ___

I will preface this review by stating that I absolutely loved 10 Blind Dates. You know when you look at a book and you’re worried that you’re secretly going to hate it, but then you read it and mentally slap yourself for your harsh judgments? Yeah, that was me after I finished reading this book. 

It. Was. So. Good.

Sophie has just broken up with her boyfriend of a year--the same boyfriend she had hoped to be with during the holidays. When she appears, heartbroken and a slight mess, at her grandmother’s house, her big family resolves to make her feel better by proposing the perfect distraction: 10 blind dates spanning from days leading up to Christmas, then to New Years Day. While Sophie comes to terms with this wild plan, she also realizes that her cousins, who were once her best friends, have grown distant from her and those who were once small cousins have grown into near-strangers. Also, someone who is off limits looks entirely new to her in a completely different and unexpected way. When her ex comes back asking for a second chance and the blind dates begin, how will Sophie cope with so much change is such a short amount of time?

I love books that don’t make it too hard to guess who the love interest will be. I knew immediately and it made the whole experience for me so much more fun. The slow progression of the love interest and Sophie was adorable, yet it showed that the two had some more growing up to do before they could finally admit they had feelings for each other--I mean, Sophie has just broken up with her boyfriend and it’s something she is actively trying to get over during the book. I like that the breakup isn’t just a plot device, but an actual difficult situation that Sophie has to digest and grow from. I found that Elston’s exploration of her myriad of emotions after the breakup added more layers to the story, so instead of it just being a cute contemporary Holiday read, it was something that actually offered the reader so much more. 

Sophie is also experiencing one other big event during the timeline of this book: Her sister’s complicated pregnancy. Her relationship with her sister was a nice surprise for me (I didn’t really read the synopsis before picking this book up, I mainly heard what it was about via Booktube videos). I loved the banter and the text messages between them. I also love Sophie’s dedication to being a good sister and a good aunt, despite her own personal troubles. It made her more relatable and less of a cliche of the tropes that sometimes live in Contemporary YALit. 

The dates themselves were so much fun. The dates and activity choices actually said a lot about the members of Sophie’s family. In a way, the idea of 10 blind dates chosen by family members was a really clever way of giving these side characters more depth, even if it was indirectly. Some where fun and others were as awful as the varied personalities in the family. My favourite side character, hands down, was Sophie’s grandmother (or Nonna). She was just always such a great leader figure of the family and her personality was definitely incredibly hard to ignore. I also loved her support of Sophie and her determination to make her granddaughter happy. 

The premise of this was just so creative and so well done. Elston’s novel could have easily gone down a cringe route, or it could have ignored many of the important topics it brings up. Some of these topics being family, growing up, being honest with oneself, and taking chances and risks that take you out of your comfort zone. It also shows what can happen if miscommunication and not being honest about how you feel can affect relationships (both familial and romantic.) 

But besides all the serious stuff, this book was so funny. I couldn’t stop laughing. It got to the ridiculous point where my stomach started to hurt because ohmygod, these situations. Who even thinks of this? It was genius and a definite Holiday read.

If you’re a fan of YALit contemporary romcoms, this is definitely for you. I’m so happy I bit the bullet and read this one. 

Happy reading!

P.S. Have you read this book? Would you recommend it?

[jimlingss]

WORSHIPERS OF THE SEA AND SKY IS SO GOOD!!!! I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE THE FEELING I GET READING IT!!! IT JUST GIVES ME A REMARKABLE FEELING OF NATURE LIKE I CAN SOMETIMES HEAR THE WIND RUSTLING OR THE WAVES OF THE OCEAN CRASHING AGAINST THE SHORELINES! I HOPE YOU ARE ALRIGHT AND HAPPY!! YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUTHORS AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!!! p.s. are you possibly planning to make “worshipers of the” into a series? i hope you do! i will wait no matter how long! i love your other stories too!

LOL THANKS FOR THE ENTHUSIASM.

As of right now, I’m not sure if I want to do a whole series on it yet. It’s a real ‘maybe’ as of right now. My personal goals is to finish Jimin’s slice of life, work on this Seokjin oneshot, and another oneshot that might be for Namjoon, and then Jungkook’s slice of life. And then call it a day.

Into the new year, I want to write much less and focus more on studying. But let’s be real here, I don’t think I’ll ever give up on writing. At least not when I’m sitting in class bored out of my mind — writing is the only thing that entertains me during those times.

The thing is though the ideas I have for the other members of the “Worshipers of the...” series are pretty vague. So far, Jungkook and Taehyung’s have a very comedic tone to it. Seokjin’s will kind of follow that light tone...maybe Jimin’s ((though I imagine him to be much more bittersweet)), but Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s stories are much more serious. ESPECIALLY Hoseok’s which is arguable majority angst. I’m not sure how I want to proceed, if I want to kind of make them more separate oneshots and have their own atmosphere, or if I want to make them more cohesive and share a similar tone. Make it more comedic, a bit more lighthearted and romcom-esque.

What I’m trying to say is that the series is still on the drawing board lol

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x07

I’m gonna come straight out and say that I loved this episode of Younger so damn fiercely that this week’s rambling recap will be a whole lotta gush and a whole lotta ramble because I have a LOT of feelings. Sometimes an episode of television lingers with you after you’ve watched it. It might be because something particularly memorable happened or because a plot point you’d been hoping for finally played out or the reason might be unclear, there was just something about it. This week’s ep, ‘Friends With Benefits’, was one of those episodes for me. I think it was the storytelling, the way this episode was written felt well paced, the moments of tension were somewhat contained but had room to draw us in and the emotional journeys of the characters were really palpable. Most importantly, these elements worked together to expand our understanding of the characters and I was not at all surprised to discover that Darren Star had written this episode.

Right from the get go this ep had me by my heart strings, with Diana and Lauren both pushing their press releases to announce the Millennial/Mercury news (Diana talking up only Charles, Lauren advocating for Kelsey, there was just so much about all this that was YES). Of course level-headed Liza saves the day with her wordsmithing, but I think we can all agree that Diana excitedly exclaiming ‘he’s here’ and rushing out of her office to greet Charles, much to the amusement of Liza, was the moment we didn’t know we were all waiting for. As Diana tells Charles that ‘it feels like all is right with the World again’ all I could do was internally scream 'same Diana SAME’ with a massive grin plastered across my face. Also, Charles + crew neck sweater + office = a combo I was not expecting but was also definitely not opposed to. Kudos to Darren for working the sale of Pound Ridge into the conversation, cue Diana’s characteristic lack of sensitivity as she reminds Charles that he poured his heart and soul into that place before advising that another marriage is probably best avoided by both of them (narrator voice: it won’t be). 

If anyone’s heart didn’t skip a beat when Charles greeted Liza so earnestly as she left Diana’s office then quite frankly, you should probably get that checked. FINALLY seeing these two in the office together, openly in a relationship, I tell you, I get giddy even thinking about it. Follow that with Diana flat out asking Liza if she ever feels like a wrecking ball and then blaming herself for hiring her was just SO Diana circa season 3 and honestly, it’s this kind of quality content that keeps me coming back for more. And no Diana, love is NOT blind, because anyone with eyes will tell you that as Liza enters Charles’ office and mentions that the box city may be covering the flowers someone sent, these two could not have looked more enamored with one another. There is something magical about this interaction, I know it was released as the sneak peek but it’s as though there’s a special kind of chemistry reserved purely for the office between these two and that palpability of emotion I referred to was evident as Charles was clearly moved by Liza’s gesture, not to mention her suggestion that they will go through the boxes all together. 

It feels like this whole season has been building towards getting these two characters to this place and honestly, I am a puddle because FINALLY we are seeing the sweet, loving, relationship that can just be. One of the things I loved about the storytelling in this episode was that it wove Charles’ growing resentment of the life he has been prescribed throughout, first evidenced by his reluctance to attend the Tuxedo Park Benefit. I really liked that he told Liza she’s off the hook if she wants and loved even harder her response that they can suffer together in evening wear, this woman is loved up to the eyeballs right here, even if her generous offer to sort through the boxes in her office alone included wanting to catch a sneaky peek at the manuscript she spotted earlier. Did I mention I could watch a whole episode of adorable Charles and Liza office interactions? 

Speaking of office interactions, can we talk about Zane who has apparently not only lost his ability to figure out how a coffee machine operates, but also his memory of how to behave in a workplace? Starting with his cocky assertion that he’s not going to be Kelsey’s problem (which I took to mean that Zane thinks Charles will be). I have to say, seeing Zane grow increasingly unhinged was a little amusing, particularly as Kelsey absolutely rocked it with boss mode activated this episode. Finally I saw her being a publisher, the meeting in which she outlines the need to each define their brands (lol at Diana’s 'I told her that’) was fab to watch and Zane’s impatient, 'Charlessss’ as Kelsey puts forward the idea of 'Exonerated’ being a better fit for Millennial was reminiscent of a spoiled child demanding his dad give him something he wants. He then throws an outright tantrum at the second meeting when Kelsey suggests that 'Arabian Sea’ (which looks like the actual worst btw) is not the book they should be releasing as their first title together (love Charles’ sextant joke and am so digging him in editor mode, including the awkward averting of the eyes after Zane storms out). Zane, dude, have some self respect. And respect for Kelsey and your colleagues.

Seeing Kelsey really hold her own in the meeting was great and I love that we saw her lunch time chats with Liza to give us insight into the journey she was on (again, the writing of this ep *praise hands*). Hearing Kelsey’s struggle to stand up to Charles and the respect she holds for him as her mentor was wonderful, as was Liza’s reassurance that Charles’ 'death stare’ was meaningless (not to mention smoldering) and that he respects her as publisher. I am so appreciative of the fact that we got to see the first meeting, in which Kelsey backed down, then the second meeting, in which she held her ground, to see the character growth taking place. I think it’s what made the manuscript reveal scene so freaking fantastic, I cannot even tell you how much I adore the way that all played out.  Here we have Kelsey, who has been working her way up to being confident enough to hold firm with Charles, FINALLY at a point where she is able to put her foot down. The way we are lead to think that Charles saying the manuscript Liza found is not something he wants to pursue is some kind of power play, before Kelsey firmly states that ’ as publisher, I am’, just makes the whole plot twist of Charles’s 'and as the author I most certainly am not’ one of the most satisfying/omg YESSSS moments this show has produced. I really hope the book gets revisited on the show and also, I know that we needed Liza not to know so we could have that divine final scene, but tell me Kelsey wouldn’t have immediately sent an all caps text screaming, 'I FOUND OUT WHO THE AUTHOR OF THAT MANUSCRIPT IS AND YOU GON DIE’.

You know who else was dying a little bit? Me when Diana rocked up to work in the most fab feathered hat, Liza dropped a Meghan Markle reference and we discovered that Diana was attending the christening of Enzo’s niece on Staten Island later that day (Diana’s 'it’s a low bar but I try to lead by example’ line, omg every week these lines and the delivery are too much). Can we just all agree right here and now that Enzo DeLuca is such a damn sweetheart, his 'you knocked it out of the park’ after Diana thanks him for complimenting her (p.s. she wanted to look nice for his family in case we weren’t clear on how invested D. Tout was in this relationship, I mean SWOON) was just so adoring. Diana poking Enzo’s sister in the face with the feathers kept the com part of romcom in play, as Enzo got up to fulfill his godfather duties and kissed his ex on the lips and I’m sorry but WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

I tell you what is happening, the set up for the sister to inform Diana that Enzo pulls the pin on all relationships around the one year mark, emphasize the point that Diana Trout is NOT Amal Clooney (this whole convo was actual golden pieces) and to have the whole family out the front basically force the point that they want Enzo with Maria, including the ever OTT mother ensuring Diana is in prime position to be pushed into a bush. And why is this set up so darn glorious? Because as I mentioned earlier, we really got to experience significant junctures in various characters’ development this episode and here we see Enzo, who not that long ago was still living with his mother and very much making any decisions based on her approval, stand up for the woman he loves in the most wonderful way. The proposal was just so beautiful in its authenticity and spontaneity, in that moment Enzo realised as he said he hoped Diana would be in the family forever exactly what that meant and acted on it. Diana’s, 'is there a ring involved’ was every kind of perfect and seriously, these two are too much, I cannot wait to see the big Italian wedding with all the trimmings

While we’re on the topic of things that are garish, this week we also got to see Michelle again. But we’ll circle back to her in a minute, because before all these benefit friends start circling and being just too much, Liza and Charles enter the 'eighth  circle of hell’ having an actual conversation about work like couples do and seriously, I am simple folk and it’s these simple things, and I love the way Charles affirms that he intentionally didn’t wear a suit to the office because he was trying not to project authority and well yes, gush gush, it was all very excellent. Their whole convo was of course cut short as Bob and Julia spot them and yet another of my season 6 wish list items gets crossed off as Julia takes full credit for introducing Charles and Liza and Bob makes an unsubtle comment that that’s what they tell themselves anyway. I think my favourite part is when Bob asks Liza if she knows that Tuxedo Park is actually the home of the tuxedo and Charles has a 'I don’t think that’s right’ expression flash across his face. We all have one of those friends and the conversation goes from cringe to suffocating as all of a sudden Liza finds herself being included in plans to cruise to Singapore before the whole thing escalates when Michelle and Tom arrive. Getting these two in the same ep as Bob and Julia, I tell you, it was like the double jackpot of friends who are extra. Michelle is as subtle as a sledgehammer as she checks out Charles and Liza’s assertion that she has not been hiding him as there’s nothing to hide is re-emphasized by Charles, who reminds her that in this scenario, there really isn’t anything to hide, she can be herself, no lie about age or job or relationship is in play.

That is what makes this whole scene and the way the rest of the episode unfolds so good. Here is Liza, in a situation that she’s been yearning for, where she doesn’t have to lie and with the man she is in love with, yet instead of feeling free she feels trapped. Michelle further exacerbates things when she joins Liza at the table and once again has a dig at her relationship with Josh (Michelle really is kind of the worst. although between her truffle butter and Julia’s double balling I feel like there’s a potential friendship just waiting to blossom) and points out that Charles is a keeper. I did have a mighty chuckle at her 'oh my gosh’ when Charles took Liza’s hand though, in that moment I was also Michelle tbh.  Liza’s gnawing sense that she is once again becoming entrenched in a lifestyle she was happy to walk away from is confirmed when she arrives home to Maggie and reassured that it’s not exactly chocolate ice-cream like she had for 20 years, it’s more like chocolate choc-chip. Which Liza likes and I personally think is delicious and guava ice-cream does not sound like my wheelhouse at all, but this is not about me and I don’t know why but each time I’ve watched this ep (and it’s been a few times, I am high-key obsessed with it if you haven’t noticed), Liza taking her wine and the manuscript and sitting on the couch to read it up and gets me for some reason. I also can’t decide if that whole moment is a mood or a goal, but I think maybe it’s both at the same time.

Maggie heading out for the night with Josh and Lauren after 11pm further emphasizes the divide that is forming between the 26 year old life and the life Liza is currently leading. It is from this point that you get the sense as a viewer that Liza is actually stuck between these two versions of herself. I feel as though this episode, more than any other, showed her desire to take elements from each of these worlds to create her ideal life, but feeling overcome with a sense that it is not possible. Seeing Josh preparing his motorbike to sell, which Liza was certainly quite disappointed about (I have no doubt it was very representative of the freedom she felt with Josh and her idea of that life she lived etc), it is Josh who is moving forward and thinking of his future. I have to say, hearing Josh talking about Gemma is just too gorgeous, I am enjoying seeing this character have such purpose and focus this season. It is, of course, when Liza finds a photo of Pauline and Charles at the same benefit she just attended, that she feels she is seeing what her future with Charles looks like; reminiscent of her old life with a rinse and repeat of the life Charles led with Pauline (and we all know how that ended), and she decides to take Josh up on the offer of one last ride on his motorbike.

Sometimes I notice the music as I watch an ep and sometimes I don’t, but I absolutely noticed the 'we’re living in a fantasy’ lyric that played over the top of Liza getting onto the bike. I thought this was such an interesting way to highlight the fact that the 26 year old life that Liza knew no longer exists, other people have moved on, are at different stages in their own lives and she is, in a way, fantasizing about a lifestyle that is not necessarily a reality anymore, even if she wanted it to be. The conflict that occurred in this episode for Liza was internal and to convey that is no mean feat. During the conversation she has with Josh down by the water, her struggle is evident. As she recalls the story she read of an older woman and a younger man, Josh asking how it ends and her stating she doesn’t know, my heart actually hurt for her. While I appreciate that for some viewers this would’ve been a lovely ambiguous moment about where the Josh/Liza relationship may end up, in relation to the narrative that was unfolding I saw it very much as Liza being unsure where and how her current situation is going to play out, not indecision about her relationship or who she wants to be with. The whole scene is dripping with anguish to me, there’s the life that Liza wants and then there’s the man that she loves and the feeling that being with the man she loves traps her in a life she no longer wants.

Sutton Foster has the most incredible ability to make subtle emotion palpable, we get snippets of it in episodes every now and then, the awards dinner with Jay when she was overcome with that anguish and yearning for Charles when he was there with Pauline comes to mind, and this week as a viewer I could FEEL the journey she was on trying to reconcile these two worlds of hers. It was a wonderful example of nuanced writing and masterful acting coming together. It all really came together of course in the final scene of the episode and honestly, my heart is preemptively exploding just thinking about it. First of all, Liza looks next level incredible with the dress and hairstyle combo (yes Charles, 'wow’ is accurate). Charles’ teasing her about playing hooky so that Kelsey could read the manuscript she had found in his personal belongings was downright charming and as he explains that he is in fact the author and reveals his experience of having an affair with an older woman, you can see Liza wrapping her head around this new insight into him. When Charles expresses his understanding of what it’s like to be the young man in a relationship and also the desire and motivation of a woman in her 40’s to seek that out, Liza’s expression is one of both feeling seen and feeling exposed concurrently. As Bob calls Charles and Liza over to join the party, these two individuals’ journeys suddenly cross over and fall in sync.

Charles made the earlier comment about not wanting to go to the benefit, however Liza sees the picture of him and Pauline from years earlier and no doubt makes the assumption that no matter how much he dislikes it, he has always and will always oblige and attend such events as he has his whole life. What I love so much is that at the very top of the episode, Liza refers to Charles as having a career renaissance, which ties into the theme that has been woven throughout the season of Charles having the chance to start over and do something that is his own. In this final moment of the episode, as Liza looks utterly deflated, it becomes apparent that both Liza and Charles are feeling trapped in these past or preset lives that they actually don’t want. And suddenly they have the opportunity to break free together. As Liza asks Charles if they can promise each other not to do anything together in the future they don’t want to do, you can see her relief that Charles doesn’t want to attend the party either, however it is Charles showing her that he doesn’t want to be there that proves he really means it.

The significance in all this, I believe, is that Liza’s struggle has been that freedom and spontaneity only existed in the younger life she experienced and that most of the examples and experiences she has had of a forty-something life are devoid of that. As Charles and Liza run laughing down the street hand in hand and the episode closes it leaves us with the lingering notion that freedom isn’t something that’s attached to age, it’s a choice. It finally feels like these two characters are on the same page after so long and obvs I am utterly pumped to see what’s next.

I have said it numerous times throughout but overall, this episode was just stellar from start to finish. It felt like a pivotal point in the season that will really set the course for the rest of season 6 and there was such significant character growth and development for Kelsey, Liza, Charles, Enzo and Diana. The theme of spontaneity, with Liza seeking it out by leaving work to ride the motorcycle, Enzo proposing to Diana and Charles suggesting they run from the benefit, was so wonderful to see play out in different ways, especially as it was all the characters in their 40′s on the show who were being spontaneous.  ’Friends With Benefits’ has most definitely secured a place on my regular re-watch list. Now let’s hope we get to find out how that book of Charles’ ends…

[hobisexually]

Amber what are your favourite films??

Of all time? Or recently? Because to be honest, when I want to watch a movie most of the time I just want something that makes my brain feel nice and comforted, it’s enough of a warzone as it is up there. I do watch any and every genre and I had a phase where I’d only watch thrillers or indie films, but I won’t watch those again very quickly, while the cheesy ones I will watch on repeat because it makes me feel comforted. 

So films I’ve watched the most often over the years: Notting Hill, 10 Things I Hate About You, Inside Llewyn Davis, The Breakfast Club, The Holiday, About Time, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, P.S. I love you, Love Simon, Call Me By Your Name, Princess Diaries II and Harry Potter, of course, but I don’t need to tell you that, RIP. No shame in my romcom game, I love them.

And “recently” I really liked Yesterday (it’s British, has Beatles songs and Richard Curtis made it... of course i was going to love it) and for bisexual reasons I enjoyed the hell out of Thor Ragnarok, Men In Black International, Ocean’s 8, and Wonder Woman hahah. On that note, CAN’T WAIT FOR CHARLIE’S ANGELS?

[iamjinyii]

Review!!! : Lost Romance

Oh my gosh, I think this may be one of my favourite Taiwanese dramas in recent years. I’ve been struggling hard to get back into watching dramas because of my busy schedule, and also because I find the dramas in the past few years to be quite repetitive in terms of storyline. Although this drama has the typical romcom side of it, it is something refreshing to say the least. I loved the cuteness in the drama and most importantly, I didn’t expect so many kiss scenes, esp for an East-Asian drama!

You will find yourself indulged into the drama if you’re a romcom and fantasy sort of person - this one cannot be missed! It’s not Vivian Sung’s best acting performance, but nonetheless she made it comfortable to watch - not being the typical weak female character. Marcus Chung, I would say is a typical girl’s dream man ;)

My ratings:

Storyline : 8/10

Acting : 6.5/10

Overall impressions : 8/10

Reccomendation : 8/10

You might be wondering why my ratings are like this when I said it’s one of my favourite dramas so far P.S. a drama doesn’t have to be perfect for you to like it!

[khaleesiofalicante]

DANIIIII HAVE YOU WATCHED SEASON 3 OF NEVER HAVE I EVER?

Ik it came out like last month but I havent seen you post about it plus I've been in my benvi feels lately soooo 😭😭😭

P.S I bet my entire life savings that tlnd Max's favourite netflix show is NHIE (I have absolutely no life savings so this is a win-win for me lmao)

I DID.

I binged it the day it came lol.

I think s3 was my fave out of it all because the writing was so much better!

Tlnd Max mostly watches Dark Comedies (not me projecting my taste to this boy) but I'm pretty sure David made him watch it because we know David likes high school/romcom type stuff.

AND OF COURSE MAX IS ROOTING FOR BENVI 😎

[riya-in-the-valley]

In the latest preview (subs here), Ji Wook just gave one of the sweetest pre-dating confessions on a drama that I have ever seen. He just keeps going above and beyond my expectations. How does he do it? How is it even possible? The writer, Kwon Ki Young has written 2 of my favourite shows, I remember you (a brilliant psychological thriller) and Protect the boss (not your typical kdrama romcom). I’m not too worried about her dropping the ball when she is still doing such a great job with our leads as we are about to hit the halfway mark tomorrow. Yeah, there is a tiny bit of niggling doubt at the back of my head because I have been burned by too many dramas before, but I’m 80% sure we are in good hands with her. P.S. PTB also had one of the most lovable second female leads, so I’m expecting Yoo Jung to get the same treatment eventually. I mean so far she has been selfish and self-absorbed but not outright malicious, so I don’t think it’s a reach to expect some good character development for her. I also don’t mean to imply that the writing for the show is perfect, it’s not. The legal bits are wonky as h*ll, but that’s kdrama for you. (lol) It’s the OTP and our leads that are perfect.

[asfeedin]

Friday Finds & Reader Recommendations – 04-24-2020

Good morning and HAPPY FRIDAY!!! I hope we all have a cozy and wonderful weekend loaded in reading some seriously great books!! Speaking of which…

I’m already almost finished a book I just started a day ago and I LOVE IT!!!!! HOLY. MOLY. It’s the first part of a duet and the next one is coming out in a couple of weeks and I’m so relieved because I know the end of this one will make me crazy. LOL!!! I think I may have just found a new favorite author, and my review will be up this weekend.

In the meantime…

TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE FOUND FOR THE WEEKEND  !!

STILL ON ➔➔➔ TWO MONTHS FREE KINDLE UNLIMITED DEAL!!! <— If you haven’t tried it yet, now’s your chance. WE ARE LOVING IT! And it’s still going on through the end of April!

And…

So, That Got Weird by Amelia Kingston <—THE AWKWARD GIRL & THE JOCK ALERT!! Ashley loved it so much that she read it again! “…As the reigning campus sex god, he has the playboy act down pat. But underneath those six-pack abs beats a broken heart. He doesn’t trust people and he sure as hell doesn’t believe in love. The odd couple strike a deal. Four weeks of & “tutoring” for five thousand dollars…”

I reread ‘So, That Got Weird’ by Amelia Kingston and that was a fun time – it has the same vibe as Elle Kennedy or Maya Hughes’ books (which I’m a huge fan of).

Third Life by Noelle Adams <—LIVE!! AGE GAP OLDER MAN/YOUNGER WOMAN ALERT!! She only knows his first name but… “...he keeps asking me to meet him all over the world, and I keep saying yes. …I don’t know anything about him except his first name. That’s the way he likes it. He’s too old for me, and he’s hiding secrets, but I’m not going to be able to keep my heart out of it for long…“

Detained by Ainslie Paton <— MONY LOVED THIS ONE!

Mony: I finished Detained by Ainslie Paton, Aussie author. Really loved it!

First chapters – Mystery Guy & female reporter stuck in a Shanghai airport detention room – clever & hot. Characters “real”, dialogue tight – kind of book I like. Also, story unusual & set in China & AUS. Bit too long at end but I wanted to read it in one shot. Love finding books that punch their weight above their GR rating.

This was one of Ann’s “personal 5-star lose all track of time and reality books.”

Master of Salt & Bones by Keri Lake <— LIVE!!! DARK ROMANCE ALERT!!! P.S. I love this author!! “…When I was a little girl, I dreamed a handsome knight would come and rescue me from my wretched mother. He’d ride up on his white steed and break the curse I’ve been fated to carry since the day I was born. Funny how things changed over time. How the fairy tale twisted into something far more crooked, darker than I ever imagined. In reality, my knight is scarred and broken, living alone in a castle of bones that overlooks the sea. He isn’t searching for me. He never was. Lucian Blackthorne is as cursed as I am, and equally shunned by the locals��”

Killian by Ryan Michele <— LIVE!!!

Kitty Valentine Dates a Billionaire by Jillian Dodd <— LIVE!!! JILLIAN DODD ALERT!!

Falling North: A Turner Artist Rocker Novel (The Turner Artist Rocker Series Book 2) by Alyson Santos <— LIVE!!

The Devil in Apartment 13 by Tiana Laveen <— MODERN-DAY URBAN GENIE/JINN IS HER NEW NEIGHBOR… and he wants to make her his mate! “…Vivian Carver believes her name is synonymous with bad luck. She’s a bartender living smack dab in the middle of NYC and has had it up to here with entitled tourists, an annoying roommate and just barely surviving. She’s forced to move into a cheaper apartment, and with it comes a seedy landlord, drippy faucets and a peculiar stranger in apartment 13.  Shahzad has pulled all the stops to get to know Ms. Vivian Carver, someone who in no shape, form or fashion understands her full potential…”

Beauty and the Rose: a Dark Romance by Stasia Black & Lee Savino <— LIVE!! TRILOGY CONCLUSION ALERT!!

Don’t Love Me (My Secret Boyfriend Book 1) by S. Doyle <— HE TOLD HER NOT TO… “…The state took me away from my mother when was I twelve and sent me to live with an uncle, who worked on some fancy estate.  That’s when I met Ash, she was ten and the daughter of the man who owned the estate. She thought I would be her new best friend but I only wanted to be left alone. For years she was always there, always annoying me, always wanting more from me. But our roles were clear. She was the princess and I was the chauffeur’s charity case.  I told her not to fall in love with me…she didn’t listen…”

Dark Protectors Bundle: 3 Stories by Rebecca Zanetti by Rebecca Zanetti <— REBECCA ZANETTI BOOK BUNDLE BARGAIN ALERT! “…From New York Times bestselling author, Rebecca Zanetti, comes three stories in her Dark Protectors-Reese Family series… **Every 1001 Dark Nights novella is a standalone story. For new readers, it’s an introduction to an author’s world. And for fans, it’s a bonus book in the author’s series. We hope you’ll enjoy each one as much as we do.**

The Danger You Know by Lily White <— LILY WHITE’S LATEST DARK READ ALERT!! HE’S HER STALKER…“…I pursue her despite the wedding bells that rang for another, only I can see how she is drowning beneath mediocrity. How many times must I remind her? It can’t matter that I am the person who ruined her life. The man who killed her father. The constant shadow that watches her sleep. The lover who prefers dirty alleyways to freshly laundered sheets. She’s mine. Always has been…”

Michaela: Read this today and loved it! 

Michele: I LOVE Lily and Dark reads are still my favorite!!  thank you!!!

Tori: I’ve been binge-reading some Lily White lately! Omgah! Just finished The Vanity of Roses and started Wishing Well last night! I guess this one will be next. Seriously, one of my new favorite authors! ♡♡♡

The Prince and the Pawn (When Rivals Play Book 4) by B.B. Reid <— SERIES FINALE!!! BULLY BOOK ALERT! “...They were wrong for each other from the start. The jock and the nerd, what a cliché they made. He was the town prince, and she was a nobody. Tyra Bradley was invisible. That is until she told him he needed some manners, and so began their game of cat and mouse...”

Everything Girl by Emily Mayer <— MONY LOVED IT!! And was her message to the author about it (and the author replied).

Mony: Hi Emily,

Loved loved loved your book. Well written, quirky characters, and great book boyfriend…loved the Montana setting. Good job pacing the slow burn between Jack and Evelyn. A gem.

Hoping you’re thinking about writing a sequel about Ben. Fantastic character – came alive with his wit, charm and “manwhore struggles.” Just begging to be written! What do you think? Thanks!

Emily (the author): …I took a detour for book #2, but I am spending my quarantine with Ben! I couldn’t agree with you more. He definitely needed his own story. I am already a little bit in love with his story and can’t wait to share it with you!

To another reader: “still hoping for a May release date” ..

Jan: New Lucy Score coming out in a couple of days: By A Thread: A Grumpy Boss romcom. I like the grumpy boss trope.

Mony: I didn’t see that By A Thread was about a grumpy boss…one of my favourite tropes as well…

HEY SWEET TEA (The Way To A Man’s Heart Book 8) by Frankie Love <— LIVE!!

Don’t Go Stealing My Heart by Kelly Siskind <— LIVE!!

The Girl and the Stars (The Book of the Ice 1) by Mark Lawrence <— LIVE FANTASY ROMANCE ALERT!!!!! GORGEOUS COVER & TITLE!! “…To resist the cold, to endure the months of night when even the air itself begins to freeze, requires a special breed. Variation is dangerous, difference is fatal. And Yaz is not the same.   Yaz’s difference tears her from the only life she’s ever known, away from her family, from the boy she thought she would spend her days with, and has to carve out a new path for herself in a world whose existence she never suspected...”

Pretty Things by Janelle Brown <— RECENT PSYCH-THRILLER RELEASE AND GUESS WHAT????

Nay: For anyone who likes book adaptations, I just saw Maryse’s FB post about Pretty Things by Janelle Brown, and when I went to add it to my tbr on GR, I saw that one of my friends had posted that Nicole Kidman is going to produce and star in the book’s adaptation as a streaming Amazon series.

Maryse: OOOOOH YAY!!!! I love that!! Though I’m going to read it first.  Thank you for that news, Nay!

Michele: Just finished Fixed on You series…..GREAT, love, mystery, heartbreak and well the end……it was the best bargain….

Cheryl: Hudson is a hot alpha guy who says right off the bat that he is incapable of love and combined with Alayna’s obsessive “love’ disorder, you just know a train wreck is coming.

Krisztina: I just finished the Fixed trilogy by Laurelin Paige. Hudson (the whole story from his point of view). I have to say that I was reading the 2nd half of Forever With You with tears in my eyes … now I am obsessed with Hudson Pierce 

A Kiss to Tell by W. Winters <— SUPER-BARGAIN ALERT! HE WAS BAD NEWS & SHE WAS THE GIRL THAT DIDN’T BELONG… “...From the first time I saw him, Sebastian had a hard stare that pinned me in place. And years later, it hasn’t softened. We lived on the same street and went to the same school, although he was a year ahead.  Even so close, he was untouchable. He was bad news and I was the sad girl who didn’t belong. One night changed everything...”

AUDIOBOOK LVERS!

Not a member of Audible yet? Get a free 30 day audible trial (which includes 1 free audiobook + 2 audible originals)

AND! Audiobook Matchmaker!! <— Find out which of YOUR Kindle books are available as audiobooks at a BARGAIN-PRICE! This is how it works. Click on that link & Amazon will show you all of your Kindle books that are also available as an audiobook at a seriously discounted price. This way, you can switch back and forth, seamlessly between your ebooks and your audiobooks. VERY COOL!

➔➔ Audible now has an “Escape” package membership (30 day free trial) – used to be called the “Romance” package <— this one is SO cool, and worth it (unlimited listening for all of the audiobooks in the program, and there are tons – kind of like Kindle Unlimited)!!

and…

Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier <— RECENT PSYCH-THRILLER RELEASE THAT I’m DYING TO READ!!

Shirley: I’m listening to Little Secrets. I’m at 20% and so far, so good!! I think you would really like this one Maryse!

Maryse: YESSSS!! I know I would. Totally my thing…

  The Hardest Fall by Ella Maise <— Ashley loved it so much she listened to it again!

Ashley: Okay, I re-listened to ‘The Hardest Fall’ by Ella Maise. Love it. My favorite part is where her horde of peanut butter m&m’s is discovered and her reasoning for it is one of the most relatable reasons ever.

Shooter by Dahlia West <— Ashley loved it so much she listened to it again!

And I’m also re-listening to ‘Shooter’ by Dahlia West….which makes me want to revisit ‘Preacher’ by Dahlia West.

PREORDERS (going live soon!!! )

➔➔➔  Get Maryse’s Book Blog updates delivered by email (you’ll get one daily email that will have each post from that day consolidated on it).

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Tags: 04242020, Finds, Friday, Reader, RECOMMENDATIONS

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[marvuelousmrmaisel-blog]

Big Mistake

Right, look I was in a relationship for the better part of 4 years and by the end if we are being honest by the end we were just kinda together because we were. We were not making each other happy and we were far away from the best versions of ourselves. So when we broke up about a year ago it was without a doubt for the best.

I handled it in a very healthy way and threw myself into my exams and almost ruined my mental health and then threw myself into work and worked 60+ hour weeks for the majority of summer. So when I let myself realise that I had a crush on a co worker (and had done for months) I was so happy, and when we eventually ended up together after the usual amount of romcom classic nonsense it was incredible. I never thought id be able to spend basically every second of every day with someone and still never be sick of seeing them but that's where I found myself and I was loving every second of it. It was amazing to have someone who you can just talk about anything with, moaning about work they get it coz they are living it, but we love so many of the same things and some of my favourite days were just the ones spent sat on the sofa watching rubbish tv all day.

So yeah it’s all going great but you remember when I said about my mental health and how I almost ruined it, well turns out if you don’t try and fix it it will come back at the worst possible time and fuck everything up. So yeah.....that’s what happened. I am rubbish at talking about my feelings and how I'm doing, in a relationship I always take on the more caring role trying to make sure the other is ok no matter what the toll is to me. Im not saying this in an attempt to be like “ooh aren’t I great” im saying this to show that that is not healthy in a relationship, especially one where I felt as loved as I did. 

We started dating around October and it was amazing, we even spent Christmas with my family and they all loved her because of course they did because she is great! Then we came back and I started getting ready for my third year exams at uni which as you can imagine were very stressful, which combined with the whole not talking about how im feeling thing ended about as well as you imagine it did. We went to spend time with my family again around February and I could tell something was different, not that the way we felt about each other was different but that the way I felt (in myself) was different. Looking back I absolutely took it out on her, all I wanted was to talk to this person that I trusted more than anyone I'd ever known but for some fucked up reason in my own head I couldn’t and I hated myself for it. 

Not long after we got back we broke up. Not because I wanted to but because I wanted to but because I love her too much to bring her down with me. 

Now that was as mistake undoubtably, I still loved her when we broke up and I still love her now. But my biggest mistake by far is what I did next.

After we broke up I was in a pretty bleak place, suddenly single again, more than 200 miles from my family, safe to say I was craving company and intimacy. That’s when I got a drunk call one evening from my ex (the one id been with for about four years). Then just like that after telling this person that I love that I want;t ready to be in a relationship (yes I lied of course I lied) I was back in a relationship. The way that I treated Velma  in the next few months in unacceptable and I can only apologise to her. So yeah of course this ended about as well as can be expected, about three weeks ago. The main reason beyond the fact we shouldn't have been together to begin with was that I was clearly not over Velma in any way, and I am still not.

Velma is currently away visiting family and MY GOD I MISS HER SO MUCH, I miss getting to talk to her about anything (after we broke up we were able to stay really good friends because SHE IS A GREAT PERSON), I miss seeing her and the way I feel when I do.Whenever we message just to chat about nonsense it is the highlight of my day and makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt. I know that I have blown my chance here but I just want her to know that I love her and I am so sorry for ever hurting and if for god knows what reason she was able to give me another chance I will spend the rest of my life trying to show her how much she truly means to me 

So that's the story I am sat on my bed ping over her and wishing I had the courage to say this to her face

P.S. yes I chose Velma because I have a thing for Velma from scooby doo, who doesn’t?!