#overly poetic

[i-know-the-endss]

i love tragedy.

i love when a story is sworn to end horribly, no happy endings. it’s fated to fail, and everyone within it will either be dead or go mad or lose everything they love and then some. if only orpheus hadn’t turned back. if only achilles would have listened to patroclus. if only romeo had received the second letter. if only they weren’t all doomed right from the start.

but they’d do it anyway, every single time. to continue to go on knowing something will end in pain is the epitome of love.

if we didn’t love so much, there would be no tragedy. if we don’t accept tragedy, there would be no love at all.

[sp1resong]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be the most pretentious and irritating person in a 10 mile radius

[marzipanandminutiae]

please. for the love of god. talk to your kid who enjoys reading classic children's literature about phrases like "pride comes before a fall" and what they do and do not mean

or else they will end up 30 and mentally ill and convinced that being Too Content/Confident/Happy will make bad things happen to them or their loved ones

[tavcro]

i do wish hs2 was better.

[romanceyourdemons]

you know, mr. iggy pop and mr. david bowie, if i had a crush on a beautiful vietnamese woman and wanted to write a song about her i might say something like “i remember how her fingertips huddled around the coffee cup, i smell her warmth alone in the frozen foods aisle, her smile turns my heart sky blue” you know something like that. i don’t think i would have done it the way you did probably

[last-lorekeeper]

[random-letters-i-just-thought-of]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody Additional Tags: Mentioned Luke Skywalker, Mentioned Leia Organa, CC-2224 | Cody and Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, secret tatooine buddies, Planet Tatooine (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody on Tatooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Force Meditation (Star Wars), Tatooine Husbands, Early Mornings, Sunrises, First Kiss, Unnecessarily poetic but ok, Grief/Mourning, Trauma, Hurt/Comfort Series: Part 5 of My works for Codywan First Kiss Bingo Summary:

At first glance, Tatooine may seem like a hostile, barren and uncharitable planet. A place of struggle, despair and death. A depressing setting. No place to live. And yet, when you learn where to look, when you learn to look past the endless desert and unscalable dunes, you can find the first glimpse of light at the horizon. The sun is starting to rise. If you persist long enough, the sunrise will come. And then, no place will be brighter than here on Tatooine. These are Twinsuns after all. (You know that one Codywan Comic panel? Where Obi Wan's waiting for the sunrise and Cody is there to comfort him? Yep, it's that but make it Tatooine)

I shamefully neglected Tatooine Husbands in my works for @codywanfirstkissbingo​ so far, so this is me trying to make up for that with my fill for the prompt "hopefull kiss". Enjoy! The title is from the song "Flares" by The Script. Go check it out, it's amazingly Star Wars coded!

Woohoo, first bingo! I actualy have wips for like at least two more rows, but we'll se how much i'll actually manage to write, haha.

Deep in his meditation, Obi Wan felt Cody approaching long before he heard his careful, well-trained, nearly silent footsteps on the sand. He smiled. Even though it hadn't even been two weeks since Cody showed up at his doorstep, his force presence was already as familiar to him as it could be. It was somehow different now than it was back in the Clone Wars. Duller. Where there had once been a burning, warm sun radiating light, there was now only a small flickering lantern, whose housing had been broken and dulled, had been crudely fixed, and was now barely being held together by some miracle and pure will alone. But it was still the same light. Still his wonderful, beautiful Cody. 

And who was he to talk. He knew how broken he was inside. He was the one who sneaked out in the early morning hours to meditate in the soothing, cooling darkness, shaken from his sleep by the nightmares once again. 

He hadn't wanted to wake Cody, even though he knew the other would probably notice him missing soon. They slept in the same bed, after all. For one thing, because Obi Wan only had one and desert nights were cold. He would not have Cody sleep on the ground. And for another, because they had done it so many times before anyway. Countless diplomatic or undercover missions. Battle campaigns with shrinked resources that left them with only one tent to share. It would feel ridiculous to start being sensitive about that stuff now. And somehow, it just felt so right. Having Cody next to him again. Like a part of himself that had been missing had returned. 

So, of course, Cody had noticed, and of course he had come to look for him. Normally, Obi Wan would have worried if he would find him, after all, his little meditation spot was a good way from their little hut. But he had been pretty sure Cody knew the whole area well enough, judging from how long he had loitered there, before he finally brought up the courage to reveal himself. And it seemed he had been right.

He sensed Cody coming to a halt right behind him, waiting for something. For him. Obi Wan smiled. He remembered the first time Cody had walked in on him meditating in his quarters on the negotiator. It had been a scary experience for both of them. For Cody to see his Jedi motionlessly and unresponsively hoovering in the air, and for Obi Wan to be forcibly shaken out of his meditation by someone suddenly grabbing his shoulder. Well, now they both knew better. Like so many times before, Cody just waited for Obi Wan's senses, which were much more attuned to Cody know, to alert him of his presence and for Obi Wan to return from his meditation. 

So that was what Obi Wan did now. Not because Cody bothered him. Quite the contrary, Cody's presence behind his shoulder was incredibly comforting. Obi Wan knew he would wait as long as he needed. But it had probably been a while already, anyway. 

When he opened his eyes, he saw that he had been right: The first dawn was already showing on the horizon.

For some time, they just sat in silence, Obi Wan on his slab of rock and Cody standing behind him, facing the approaching sunrise in front of them.

"What are you doing out here?", Cody broke their silence.

Obi Wan hummed something incomprehensible while shifting on his rock, so Cody could sit down next to him.

"Hm, oh, I'm just watching the sunrise, my dear."

"You're a bit early for that" Cody remarked dryly.

Obi Wan smiled wistfully. "That's the fun part. You can't be too early for that. No matter how long you have to wait, no matter how dark the night seems, sometime it'll always get brighter. The sun will always come. Light will always prevail." His voice faded out, and it was quiet for some time. Obi Wan didn't look at Cody. He didn't need to. He felt his presence by his side as if it were an extension of his own.

"And here I was, thinking they reminded you of me", Cody jokes.

Now, Obi Wan turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "They do."

Cody blushed and turned away. A wonderful sight that only made Obi Wan's smile grow.

For a while, they just sat in peaceful silence and waited. It was getting brighter now. Soon the first one of Tatooin's suns would scrape at the horizon. But Obi Wan felt that something was still troubling Cody. He had that look in his eyes when he had something on his mind, but wasn't sure if he should bring it up.

"What's wrong, Cody?"

Cody shot him a surprised look and already opened his mouth to brush it off as nothing. Then he closed it again and sighed. He looks down at the ground and takes some time to find his words. 

"Where is our sun, Obi Wan?", he asked then.

Obi Wan turned his head to see, for the first time in days, the pure pain and despair that they both carried within them, openly on Cody's face.

"Where is our light? Cause to me, everything still seems pretty dark. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad. You're right, we shouldn't give up hope and everything. I just..." Cody's voice broke. When he continued, it was barely a whisper. "It's so hard. I don't know how you did it. How you're still... sane. Still hoping."

Obi Wan closes his eyes and prepares himself for the by now familiar wave of pain. He let it wash over him, took the feelings in, and then let them go. 

He turned to look back at the horizon, not quite ready to look Cody in the eyes, but it was time to tell him. He took a deep breath.

"You know the boy I'm watching over?"

"The Larsens' kid?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I've seen you talk to him."

"His name is Luke Skywalker. He's... he's Anakin's son."

Cody took his time to process the information. "Senator Amidala?", he asked then. 

Obi Wan nodded. "She had twins. The girl, Leia, is with Senator Organa. You've met her, I believe."

"Oh yeah", Cody chuckled quietly. "That checks out." He paused again. Then he added, from the bottom of his heart: "Sweet girl."

Obi Wan smiled. "She is. They are both wonderful. You should see them, Cody." He turns to the other man now, desperate to let his answer be enough. To give him something to hold onto in his despair. "They shine so brightly in the force", he tries to explain. "Like a beacon. Like a sun. Twinsuns." 

Cody can't feel them like he does, but something in Obi Wan's eyes seems to convince him. "They're the future", Obi Wan adds. "They're our new hope. I just know."

They're holding hands by now; Obi Wan doesn't know since when. But when Cody smiles, he can't help but cup his cheek in his hand. Cody's eyes glow, and his other hand comes up to clasp Obi Wan's.

"Well, then there might be a sunrise after all", he murmurs.

Obi Wan brings their foreheads together. "There will be." He whispers. "Trust me."

And then, when Cody kisses him, it feels like the real sunrise is not happening behind them, where the twinsuns are now painting the sky a spectacular red and orange, but here, right beside him, where a small flame in the force starts to grow again.

(Listen, I know the sunrise aligning perfectly with the plot is not realistic. But they deserve a poetic and chinematic first kiss and you can't stop me.)

Important lyrics:

Did you lose what won't return? Did you love but never learn? The fire's out but still it burns And no one cares, there's no one there

Did you find it hard to breathe? Did you cry so much that you could barely see? You're in the darkness all alone And no one cares, there's no one there

But did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you, did you? Did you see the sparks filled with hope? You are not alone 'Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

- "Flares" by The Script

[aerithisms]

does taylor remember you said the way my blue eyes shined put those georgia stars to shame that night i said that's a lie does anyone remember please i need someone to remember

[1loer]

probably post the last chapter of that komahina fic tonight . just so u know.

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

Why are people with blue eyes so terrifying

What a question XD

I personally think that feeling can come from how the blue makes the pupils stand out much more

Which really makes you feel...

Stared at

[darabeatha]

/ Okokokiedokiearchiedokie I'll be trying to cut back to my regular fate shenanigans to not flood up the dash, but thank u all for entertaining the silliness even when we are not in april's fools OITRUOTURTU

[bethmeds]

I still see their face in the reflections of the parts of me I let them handle. like an old TV screen, imprinted and burned with the title card of my grandmothers favorite sitcom

[longshrimp]

I once mourned the death of the stars. Light pollution has made so very few visible. And yet...

Perhaps they have simply migrated. If you've flown over a large-ish city at night, they look so much better in person. Hey, kinda like stars...

[writing-whump]

I forgot how much the writing in my head changes according to what I'm currently reading. About to finish this literary novel for school and damn, the sentences are getting super flowery in my brain.

[pastelaspirations]

How I beat sleep paralysis with the power of knowledge and my compulsive habit to research anything that I have the off chance to write about in a fic

DISCLAIMER: This is just how I beat it, people's experiences of sleep paralysis are different and some methods that may work for one person may not work for another.

Ya read the title correctly. I expect no one to read this, but I don't care. I must tell my story. In my special, niche way in that I can construct a story out of absolutely nothing with 5k words more than I needed to. So, come with me, as I recount the tale of how I successfully beat my first experience with sleep paralysis, armed with only the power of knowledge and my bad habit to extensively research anything that I might stick in a fic one day.

For some background; I have never had sleep paralysis before. Although, I have done lots of research into it in the past because I found it very interesting, not only from people's real accounts of it but from the ✧˖°.memes✧˖°. too. Your good ol' sleep paralysis demon memes. I also thought it might be interesting to write about one day! And because I pride myself on being... fairly accurate, I do a whole lot of research into things I may never actually write about because "what if one day I want to-"

So, I had a lot of prior knowledge to sleep paralysis, including what helped people wake up from it.

Additionally, I have insomnia. :D I haven't gone to a doctor to get it "officially" diagnosed, but I checked every box on the insomnia checklist. It's depressing, I know. I've had it for as long as I can remember. This is important to know as sleep disorders can increase your chances of experiencing sleep paralysis.

Insomnia makes my life very fun. Any sound or light can wake me up. Sleeping in a different bed prevents me from sleeping altogether. Being moved at all wakes me up. I wake up every time I need to toss over in bed, for example. So, just... it's g r e a t.

Anyway, this semester, two days of the week, I have to wake up at 6 in the morning in order to make it to an 8 o'clock class. It's bad. So, the night before, I take melatonin and at least try and go to bed early, all to attempt to combat my insomnia. However, my insomnia also likes giving me the problem of making it extremely difficult for me to fall asleep if I know I have to be somewhere in the morning. So, the days I need the sleep the most are ironically the days I get the least amount of sleep. :D

That said. The night before, I took melatonin and hit the sack relatively early. I also used a sleep mask just to block out any light in hopes that would help me sleep better.

Well, at one point, I think I was asleep? I am not sure. I felt like I was awake and just trying to sleep. Like, that weird, half-asleep daze, but you're still awake and not fully asleep. You get what I mean.

Suddenly, I feel all this movement and I hear all this sound. It's annoying, but I don't remove my sleep mask because I'm trying to sleep. Well, for some reason, I'm convinced my dog is on my lap, just tossing and turning trying to sleep.

Which is weird because he sleeps in my brother's room down the hall.

This does not concern me. I don't know why. I just ignore my "dog" as he's shuffling to get comfortable. He'll lie still eventually and then I'll be able to sleep. I just gotta wait it out.

Then. My bed starts jostling around even more. Now, I'm convinced my brother is in my bed. I DO NOT KNOW WHY, HIS ROOM IS DOWN THE HALL, WE DO NOT SHARE A BED. BUT I'M CONVINCED HE'S ON MY BED, FLOPPING AROUND AND EVEN OFF THE BED. JUST MAKING A WHOLE LOT OF NOISE AND SHAKING THE ENTIRE BED. BEING AWFUL.

This also does not concern me. For some freaking reason. You can see why I thought I was asleep now, huh?

I wanted to gripe at him. Tell him to knock it off, I've got to be up early in the morning and I'm trying to sleep.

But my voice wouldn't work.

I wasn't even alarmed, just thought that was weird. So, I just lay there, comprehending that, when my "brother" flopped off the bed. He then started banging around everything in the freaking room. He was being obnoxiously loud. Ridiculously loud. Banging on the walls, grabbing crap and throwing it around, he was deliberately trying to keep me from sleeping.

Now, I was ticked. I wanted to yell at him, tell him to KNOCK IT OFF. But still, my vocal folds wouldn't move. I couldn't speak even though my brain told myself to. I wasn't alarmed even now, all I thought was "Fine. If I can't tell you to shut up, I can sure as hell whack you-"

But my arm wouldn't move.

Now, I was concerned. I told my arms to move. I told my legs to move. Nothing moved. I told myself to scream. I remained silent. It was like the connection from my brain to my body had been completely severed.

My "brother" seemed to sense my irritation? Since he came stomping over and started violently shaking me in my bed. I couldn't fight back or scream, I was powerless. Then, he started pressing down on my chest. N o w, I was having a harder and harder time breathing.

All of this, mind you, I was experiencing completely blind because I couldn't remove my sleep mask.

I was beginning to freak out. Not only did I think I was going to die, but my brother.

My freaking brother is the butthead who's going take me out, what the hell. What kind of stupid Greek tragedy is this-

So, as I'm lying there, still blind with the sleep mask, freaking out and slightly annoyed at this is the way I'm going to die, a thought suddenly flashes through my head. Just one, singular thought.

"Oh! This is just sleep paralysis!"

I kid you not, that is literally what I thought.

Suddenly, all my fear evaporated. I was no longer scared. I just immediately went right into the tactic I read people who experienced sleep paralysis use to wake themselves up from it. I didn't even hesitate, just immediately jumped into it like I discovered a solution to a hard video game puzzle.

I focused all my attention on moving just one muscle. If I could move that one muscle, I could slowly work my way to other muscles, until I could move the whole limb or the rest of my face. So, I chose one eyelid. The one that would be peeking out from under the sleep mask if it were open.

I commanded and I commanded my eyelid to open. I willed it to open, the strongest I ever willed it to open before. Until finally, it snapped open. All of a sudden, all the shaking by my "brother" and all the sounds abruptly stopped. It was like nothing had happened, I was alone in my room.

So, I... just flopped over and went back to sleep. As fast as an insomniac can fall asleep anyway. I remember thinking "wow, that was a lot less scary than I thought it'd be."

AND LIKE. IT WAS. BUT BEFORE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS.

As soon as I realized, I wasn't scared anymore. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I didn't have the sleep mask on. Would I have seen an actual sleep paralysis demon?? I had the auditory and physical movement hallucinations. Who's to say I wouldn't have had a visual one too if I didn't have the sleep mask on?

But imagine that. Imagine you're a sleep paralysis demon, you've got all the power, until suddenly, your victim thinks in revelation, "Oh! You're just a sleep paralysis demon! I know what to do now! :D"

J u s t a sleep paralysis demon. Defeated by the power of knowledge and the off chance of being written about in a fic.

[robinsnest2111]

tbh I hate being German in general because of the entire everything (points at history and current politicians and conflicts etc)

BUT the "cola fortnite yippie" meme does make me a little proud to be german. thanks, kid 👍