#over 15 years and the fandome is still going strong

[ponett]

Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video  •  Movies  •  Comics  •  Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it���ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance. 

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

[fanficmanic]

I've finally watched 8x16 and 8x17

Just to be safe cause I don't want anyone coming at me with pitchforks and fire - spoiler alert for 8x16 and 8x17

Oh, and probably long post ahead - be warned. I need to let this off my chest and vent.

For 8a, I didn't watch any of the episodes live. I didn't have a source for that at the time, and I always kept an eye on here to sort of give myself a heads-up of what happened in each episode. Then 8b came and I found a website to watch live - which is 12 pm Friday where I live, meaning the episode airs while I'm at work.

Still, I kept watching each episode live, and put in live reactions, and went nuts over predictions and obsessed over possibilities.

Then March 31 happened, and nothing was the same again.

A week later, I went on vacation (still in that vacation as I type this - got 5 more days), where episodes air at 3 am local time. I watched 14 the day after cause I was jet lagged and couldn't wake up for it, then I watched 15 live and cried so hard to the point that I woke up my husband and he freaked out. When I explained what was going on, he just hugged me and asked if I wanted him to stay up with me to vent (this is important for another point I will be making below). I'm kinda glad that all of this was happening while I was busy seeing friends who I haven't seen in years, cause otherwise, I would've driven myself insane during that one week hiatus before 16.

Still, I couldn't find it in me to wake up for 16 and watch live. I wanted to, I really did, but I just couldn't do it. Then I read all the negative feedback and I was like, nope. Not doing this. So I found a clip of the funeral, watched that, and called it a day. This, for someone like me who hasn't gotten so hyper-focused on a tv show in years, is so OOC. I still didn't watch it, even after 17 aired, which I didn't watch live either (not for lack of wanting, but the website I use is blocked where I am currently).

This morning, I woke up to an insane amount of posts here about 17 - and my fandom bestie whose opinion I treasure the most (looking at you @cathcer1984) said that I have to watch it. So, I downloaded 16 & 17, and only was able to watch them now.

Here are my thoughts on 16 (better late than never, I suppose):

No matter what Gerrard does, and no matter how he acts, he'll always be an asshole to me.

Hen and Chim were phenomenal. Their acting was out of this world, and the makeup department deserves awards cause it felt like Chim had aged 10 years.

Buck, who has a chronic case of abandonment issues-itis, was clearly barely holding himself together. He was putting on a strong mask because Bobby told him that they'll need him, and he'd die before disappointing Bobby even through the great beyond.

Eddie only being there for a few minutes pissed me off, but man did he do an excellent job. That single tear that trickled down his face when they saluted Bobby broke me.

Athena's dealing with her grief by working the dead child's case was so in character that I wasn't even upset.

Even though I had watched the funeral scene last week (and cried), I still cried again - and once more, my husband just hugged me and wiped away my tears.

I'm kinda conflicted about Bobby being buried next to his first wife and kids. I mean, it's a beautiful move and very emotional, but that doesn't give people a place to visit him and talk to him. I'm also kinda pissed that Buck, Eddie, Hen, and Chimney didn't get on that plane with Athena, May, and Harry.

Now, like I said, I woke up today to insane posts around here, and I was so confused that at one point I thought I'd be watching Buck and Eddie throwing fists at each other.

However, now that I've watched the episode, I'm starting to wonder if I'm watching the same show as everyone else is - particularly those who are calling Eddie abusive.

Again, the acting was phenomenal, the cases were typical 9-1-1, and the team work at the end kinda showed that the team might still be grieving, but they still work together seamlessly.

The talk that Eddie had with Hen and Karen proved to me that they actually don't know what Bobby told Buck - that they'd need him. I don't think they'd be annoyed by it if they did. On the contrary, I think they'd be working on helping him unburden himself from the heavy load Bobby (unintentionally) put on him.

As for that kitchen scene, I honestly think it was incredible. The acting OS and RG pulled was crazy, and I could feel their grief and anger and helplessness as if it was my own. Again, I don't think Eddie knows what Bobby told Buck - he's still not over the fact that he wasn't there with the rest when the worst happened. And he's lashing lashing out - justifiably so. And this brings me back to what I was saying about my husband earlier.

See, the thing is, we all know that Eddie was brought up to the notion that showing any sign of emotion is weakness. He's repressed and feeling guilty on top of mourning someone who has literally saved his life. In all the past seasons, we've only ever seen him cry when he had that meltdown - and he did that behind a locked door that Buck had to break down. We actively saw him hold back his emotions and become completely stoic: when Shannon died; when he thought Chris was dead during the tsunami (even if it was for a few minutes); when Buck was struck by lightning, during Bobby's funeral, and so on. Yet, we see him try to hold back his tears when he's talking to Buck in the kitchen after pointing that menacing finger at him (can you hear the irony?).

This brings me to what I mentioned about my husband earlier. My husband and I have been together for almost 16 years - married for 14. We've been through so many different things that have caused us immense pain and resulted in one of us lashing out at the other. Our most recent issue is related to my health, which has been going on for about 3 years now, and if you ask anyone who knows me, they'd tell you that I'm ok - managing but ok. They never see my frustration and my pain and my tears, only my husband does, because he's my safe space. I know I can vent and express my frustration in whichever way I find helpful at the time, and that he'll always hold me, help me up, and support me.

This is what's going on with Eddie. He said that he couldn't cry when he received the news because he didn't want to freak out his kid. We saw him with his clenched jaw during the funeral. Still, maybe on an unconscious level, he knew that, standing there in front of Buck in his old kitchen, he's safe to let go of everything that's been eating at him regarding Bobby's death.

On a not-so-different note, Chimney punched Buck and everyone is a-ok with him (even though it's been years since), yet, here we have people calling Eddie abusive and toxic.

Then we've got Buck, who has a chronic case of abandonment issue-itis, and who (even before Bobby died) always wants to help his family and fix things. He's going around rating people's grief so that he can figure out how to help them - it's the only way he know how to do things. But he can see that they don't need him, not the way Bobby said they would, and he ends up in a confessional booth trying to contact Bobby (may I suggest a Ouija board next time?).

But even though Eddie lashed out at Buck, and even though Buck called Eddie a jerk after reading his note, Eddie (who can barely afford anything by being an uber driver) flew his son over to cheer Buck up, and Buck - the man with a heart bigger than the universe - accepted that with the good faith that it is because Eddie gave him what he needs (his family) without him having to ask for it. Because Eddie saw that Buck was trying to help everyone BUT himself, and he stepped up to do that.

Was Buck making everything about him again? Maybe, but then again this is the same person who has had to spend his entire childhood working on getting his parent's attention. Nothing makes sense about grief - like Karen said: you're grieving, fair can go fuck itself (she didn't say that, but she might as well have).

Anyway - if you've gotten this far, I thank you for reading my rambles and venting. I needed to get this off my chest because I've been feeling like I want to scream at my phone all day after reading all the different posts. Like I said in an earlier post - the amount of people I've unfollowed after the last two episodes is a lot.

[velvetwyrms]

Happy new year folks! Here’s an update of what to expect from my blog in 2025.

Artwork:

I’m making an effort to draw more traditionally, despite people seeming to like my digital art more, so that I can improve upon and push myself and my artwork.

With this, I’m also broadening my horizons while getting back to some old fandoms that I love dearly. Expect to see lots of GaaLee, Team Shinki, a continuation of my Sand Family askblog: @ask-the-sand-fam, more JayVik and some good ol’ X-Men, my oldest fandom 🥰💖

Fanfiction:

I’m going to be writing more fanfic, aiming to update all three of my main ones this year as often as I’m able to, while taking time to make them as good as possible:

• Summertime: A Cosmic Horror, Alien Invasion + Found Family JayVik AU inspired by Cloverfield.

Also features: TimeBomb (+ adopted Isha), CaitVi, and Sevika as a disgruntled ex-boxer beer aunt. Focuses on the 60+ft Cosmic Eldritch MH version of Viktor btw.

Premise: The strangest summer of Jayce Talis’ life started with him sleeping through the apocalypse. Somehow, the events that followed just got weirder.

• Falling Fast Through Fragmented Universes: A Sci-Fi planet-hopping + They We’re Roommates GaaLee AU.

Also features: InoSaku, NejiTen and KakaGai.

Premise: An epic monsterlover romance ft. Alien!Gaara who is on a long, arduous journey through several universes, which Lee gets swept up in as a result of saving his life, with a few twists along the way.

• A Reminder: The one and only fic in the Nightcrawler/Scarlet Witch/Toad tag on ao3 🤣💖 This fic is my baby. I’ve been updating it for 6 years and it’s still going strong with the second arc concluding very soon!

Also features: Rogue/Shadow Cat, and Talia Wagner as a major plot point. This AU combines several timelines in one. Starts with X-men: Evolution that realistically develops into the first 2 X-men movies, and beyond, while remaining in-character. If you need prompting to read it, then I’ve received incredible feedback over my years of writing it 🥰😭💖

Premise: 15+ years after parting ways, Wanda and her family get an unexpected visit. Toad learns to be part of a family, and works to reconcile and move past his own demons, and some new, daunting feelings swept under the rug along the way.

Questions for you all: While I’m not asking permission to draw whatever I want, and will do so regardless of the answers, I’m curious to get to know my followers more. I have 3x questions for you all that I’d love to get feedback on:

1. Would you be just as hyped if I drew fanart traditionally as well as digitally? If so, stick around!

2. Are you excited that I’m going to be getting back to creating Naruto & some new X-Men fic/artwork? Fear not, I’m still into Arcane! Also, does OC stuff appeal to you?

3. What would you like to see more of from me this year? No promises, but I’m curious to hear back from you!

[neroniiii]

Hiruhiko's relationship to masculinity... It's interesting, yeah. I came to the conclusion that a lot of fandom dudebros tend to hate him because his design and story go against the masculine ideal of stoicism and strength, but that's not to say that he doesn't engage with it at all. He emulates his father figure to some degree- taking on the demeanor of somebody who can afford to be vaguely detached from whatever situation they're in. The system failed him- he lived in poverty without suitable guardians for quite some time- thus he perceives the world as having rejected him. This enabled him to be groomed into a sphere that encourages violence and the treatment of other people as tools or obstacles, for the sake of himself who also acts as a tool for them. His relationships are built off the emotional wall he puts up in response to his isolation- which he then goes on to put the whole weight of onto a single person that by an arbitrary standard he claimed as his own. And underneath all those feelings built up over the course of 15 years has him determined to die on his own terms, if not by Chihiro's hand then his own.

Basically he's in the pitfall that a lot of males tend to find themselves in when trying to reach the masculine ideal. And he is very obviously unhappy with it, and you can tell that he would still be unhappy even if he did reach that ideal because all his wants lie within the realm of genuine connections that he simply is not able to have while trying to reach it. His attempts to make himself into the perfect man for Chihiro are actively inhibiting his ability to have Chihiro truly understand him and the weight being placed onto him. Funnily enough it's these same attempts for the ideal that turn him into a failure at it in a dudebro's eyes. Him being suicidal and "crying like a bitch" is a direct result of holding all his weakness in for the sake of projecting the image of something strong and self sufficient for the world to digest rather than himself.

I can't really say for sure whether the meta-commentary is intentional or not but like.. It's keeping me up at night for sure.

[tarithenurse]

Inhuman

Fandom: MCU Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader, eventually Loki x fem!reader, Stucky, more (some canon, some not). Word count: 2652. Contents: Drinking, attack/violence, blood/gore, smut - nothing better to get going than a bit of adrenaline. A/N: Another double posting today! Rejoice! Any questions are welcome. Please comment and like and reblog. Let me know if you want a tag.

Chapter 15

... Reader’s PoV ...

A couple of beers have kept the food company so by the time you’re standing outside on the street, breath forming puffs of clouds in the cold air, none of you feel like going home.

“So, my dear guide, where to next?” You’re bending down to scoop up some fresh snow as he considers the options.

“Maybe our old bar’s still there...”

Indicating the direction, Bucky turns around just as you let the snowball fly, blinding him temporarily.

When he can see again, you’re skipping backwards down the street the way he’d pointed. His big hands grab all the snow on the lid of a trashcan, and he hurries after you while shaping it.

“I’m preeetty sure this’s not something I’ve forgotten how to do! I’ll get ya, just you wait!”

But the snowball sails neatly over your head and lands on a parked car, setting off the alarm and chasing you away, giggling like kids.

You almost miss the place in the hurry, but Bucky grabs you by the hand and brings you both to a skidding halt. Your cheeks are hurting from laughing, a pain you’d gladly endure at the sight of the gleaming eyes and bright teeth flashing at you.

“You’re a little devil, aren’t ya?” He doesn’t seem to mind though and he hasn’t let go of the hand even though his grab has loosened.

“Takes one to know one.” You nudge him gently with a shoulder.

So close to him...if I just– But before you can do anything, the chance’s gone as he walks through the doors to the bar forcing you to follow unless you want to be left alone outside in the cold.

At the diner and again now, you notice how he quickly scans the room to find exits and note the people. You’ve been learning the same from Natasha, though the approach might be slightly different when it comes to the people.

The place’s dark with wooden panels on the walls, booths where the benches are lined with dark green leather and old brass lamps, and the floor’s riddled with grooves from the feet of thousands of people walking on it over the years, making it look like the sand in the oceans, waving and following its own flow.

It’s not exactly a fancy place, but it’s cozy, and the woman in charge fits the place with her rough but cheerful demeanour accentuated by short black- and red-coloured hair, her stocky body and skin pale. Apparently, she’s the fourth generation owning the place, greeting the regulars by first names and joking around with everyone.

Soon Bucky and you’re seated at a table in the corner with a new set of beers, far enough from everyone else to carry a private conversation. Your back’s to the entrance and the rest of the room, letting the former Winter Soldier have the view instead. You used to always want to sit just like him, so you could see what was going on, but since terrigenesis that need’s not urgent anymore. Taking in the place and trying not to stare at how the shirt clings tight around his shoulders, chest, and upper arms, you allow the silence to settle between you while Bucky seems far away for a moment.

“Why don’t you mind?” His gaze’s strong as he studies you with furrowed brows. You’ve no clue what he’s talking about. “Missions, training, the risks you take because of what you’ve agreed to do.”

“It’s not like I’ll take any permanent damage. At least not physically. Besides how should I go back to my old life now?” He seems to recognize the way of thinking, nodding slowly, still there’s an urge to explain. “I’m…I was a nurse…because of that, I’ve seen tragedy caused by random accidents as well as pure cruelty. If there’s a chance that I can prevent some of that from actually happening? Or at least…lessen the damage done, how could I refuse? It sounds like a cliche, but really...that’s pretty much the reason...”

Your voice trails off letting the bubble of silence float down over the table again. The perfect grey eyes are troubled and unsure, shifting from the bottle he’s nursing to the candle and back again. Avoiding me.

“Why do you do it?” He doesn’t answer, but you know anyways. To atone for his sins. “Regardless of why, we’ve each chosen to do what we do���it allows us to start over…make ourselves better than we used to be. So…here’s to new beginnings and big ambitions.”

Raising the bottles to each other the smile slowly returns to grace his impossibly perfect features.

“Can I ask you something else?” You nod and watch him search for the right words. “Why’re ya single?”

Laughing to hide the awkward feeling, you shoot the question back at him but add that it might due to pickiness. His apology’s that it’s hard to find someone his own age and even though offering your grandmother up as dating material doesn’t seem to help at least it makes him laugh out loud. He’s gorgeous when he tosses his head back like that.

…

It’s when you stand outside that you realize your sleeping situation hasn’t been sorted yet…and by now it’ll be impossible to find a room anywhere.

“You...you can stay at ermm…my place. I’ll take the couch then.” Bucky looks hopeful even if he tries to play it cool.

You accept, sticking an arm under his and letting him lead the way. The excited butterflies are making your body tingle.

Once, in the subway, you make yourself believe for a second that someone’s following, but it must have been a coincident and you get all the way to the street Bucky lives on without any issues.

You sense the person before any of you can hear the running footsteps, and as you begin to turn, a man lifts up a new gun and shoots.

“Inhuman freak!” he yells.

For a moment, you just stand there, watching as Bucky lunges onto the guy with a silent ferocity. Then you realizes that you’re hurting and bleeding badly from the chest, making you look down to see it’s the right side before your attention snaps back to the two struggling men as you feel something breaking inside the assailant.

“Stop!” You need to cough up the blood that’s slowly filling the lung. “It’s enough…call the c-cops…they’ll find him.”

More coughing, spraying a red mist over the snow where you’ve sunk down. Bucky does stop, after tossing the guy into a dumpster, to come running back to you with the anger dissipating from his face, replaced by worry as he sees the blood.

“Get...me up...tools...” You’re stopping some of the bleeding already, but you can’t close the wound yet.

Picking you up like a feather, Bucky hurries up the stairs and barges into the bathroom where he sits you down against an old bathtub. Ordering him to find a clean towel and something to dig into the wound with you fall back into the mentality from medical training. I need to get the bullet out. You kick the shoes off and just as he comes back, you’re trying to get the coat and shirt off. Without question, he helps you free, though the shirt’s ripped in the process.

“Good. Have you done this before?” Your voice still gurgles, but at least there’s only a tiny bit of blood trickling from the corner of the mouth as you speak. Proof that most liquid has been purged from the lung.

He nods and grabs the small pair of tongs he’s found with one hand, the other one grabbing your shoulder and forcing your chest a bit forward to stretch the wound open. Then he waits for you to breathe and give the go.

Even while suppressing the pain it’s still really uncomfortable, making you happy that he’s working fast and without shaking. An instant later the slug’s out, allowing you to heal. Bucky stares as the entry hole disappears, leaving your skin without a trace to prove what had happened.

Tryingly, you move the arm, working the nerves and making sure you haven’t missed anything. Satisfied with the result, you let your gaze roam across his bloodied chest and arms, his hands still dripping a little bit...and you realize all of your clothes are stained too.

“I wonder if there are any good tricks for getting the blood outta clothes...”

He starts laughing, causing you to join in, first quietly, hesitantly, but soon the bathroom’s ringing. “You’re the coolest dame I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you.” Getting onto your knees, you turn on the water to make it pour from the shower head. “Pass me your shirt and the towel, might as well rinse it all...”

Carefully, you stand up, a bit dizzy from the blood loss though you can feel the cells work to fill the void, and you feel safe enough to wriggle out of the jeans, soggy from melted snow and blood.

… Bucky’s PoV …

When he reappears from pulling the shirt off (hand grabbing it behind the neck and then just pulling it) she’s getting her bloodstained jeans off, causing him to stop mid-motion and stare at the woman before him as if seeing her for the first time.

Slowly straightening up, she looks him directly in the eyes, making him come back to reality. She isn’t technically a pretty sight what with the trails of blood running into the bra and spreading from the chest to her minuscule underpants, but it’s not the blood and mess that Bucky notices.

In one step, he’s right in front of her, using the clean side of his shirt to wipe her shoulder and chest, slowing down as the fabric follows the contour of one of the shapely breasts down the cleavage only to be stopped by the underwire. Reaching back with one hand, she unhooks it and let it hang on by the straps only, and he feels his own blood rushing to his groin, cock straining against the zipper so hard it hurts.

Slowly, while holding his gaze, [Y/N] lets her fingertips touch his chest, allowing gravity to lead them to the edge of his pants and then tracing it until she reaches the button, fingernails sliding across the warm skin.

Holy fuck. Each touch makes his skin tingle as if an electric current was running between themand he can’t get himself to prevent her from doing what she wants, even though he himself is motionless, even holding his breath. Button first. Then the zipper. She’s just about to reach down and readjust his cock as he “wakes up”.

Letting the shirt drop into the tub, his hands each find a bra-strap which he carefully slides down the arms, forcing her to let go of the edge of his pants as the bra abandons all hope of clinging on and finally falls to the floor. His hands glide from below her shoulder blades along the ribs until they rest against her warm softness where the underwires were, a thumb just under her smooth breasts. Reaching up he lets the cold metal fingers trace the outer circle of her nipple, watching it shrink and harden under the cold touch before he twirls the tip between his fingers, careful not to hurt her.

Next moment, he’s lifting her up into the tub before pulling his pants and boxers down, leaving them on the floor as he steps over the edge unable to keep his own promises, ready to drown in her heavy-lidded eyes and wet core.

… Reader’s PoV …

Hot damn! The glitter version of him is nothing compared to the real deal, you realize.

Pushing you further in under the now warm water, he slides a hand down your ass, bringing the undies with it until they fall the rest of the way on their own. His face’s millimetres from yours, lips parted and breaths coming hard and shallow. You’re already preparing to kiss him when he disappears towards your neck, tracing the jaw softly with kisses and nibbles before stopping right under the ear.

Meanwhile, the hands are everywhere. Hips, thighs, back, breasts which he cups as he lets the thumbs flick across the sensitive nipples...everywhere they go they’re sending shivers through your body and it’s all you can do to hold on to him as you grow weaker in the knees…now with anticipation.

Possibly sensing that, he suddenly picks you up, pinning you against the wall with a determined yet tender force, one hand stretching your arms onto the tiles above, the other guiding you into position with your legs wrapped around his hips and the tip of his cock softly poking between the heated, glistening folds.

Even with the display of force and need, he doesn’t hurt you. There’s no doubt in your mind that he could, and the knowledge mixed with appreciation for his tenderness makes you warm and wet, shuddering with lust.

Pulling his head back, he looks at you with storm-dark eyes as if waiting for approval. He gets it. Of course he gets it. Nodding and trying to reach forward to find his lips with yours, using the legs to pull yourself down onto his engorged cock bit by bit.

He’s warm, hard, and shaking with each inch his member bores into you, making him screw up his face before he grabs your hips with both hands, holding you steady as he finds the right rhythm, working silently and using his burning lips and tongue to explore the nape of your neck and collarbone.

Your fingers are digging into his shoulders, or one of them at least, as the first wave of bliss spreads through your body, almost making you whimper and in turn spurring him on to push deeper. Faster, but still steady and almost pulling all the way out before reversing. Silent gasps are drowned by the sound of the water and exploring lips while a new almost aching wave sends you tumbling over the edge of sweet satisfaction, clamping onto Bucky any way you can. You can almost feel every ripple of excitement that keeps his cock hard and throbbing.

Few moments later, the thrusts stutter and he makes that funny face that used to be the best clue for you to know how far a male lover was. This time…this time you feel the tilt of the world that blackens your vision and sends you off to new heights, flustered at the realization that you must have shared in what he experienced.

You both gasp for air, his chest pressed against you, allowing you to feel and hear the sound he makes, almost like a deep purr. You stay in that position, arms wrapped around each other and breathing hard. Then he lifts you off, carefully, and you realize he’s looking a bit ashamed.

“Thank you.” You kiss him.

He’s about to protest when you cut him off, telling him to just shut up and enjoy it and making him smile again. As you bend down to pick up the clothes, he lets a hand rest on you lower back, allowing it to slide down over your ass. You don’t have to look at him to know that he’s smiling dreamily at the view.

...

You managed to get the clothes almost completely clean, though the shirt had to be trashed. You also managed to get dry before round two which was impossibly slow and tender as he claimed every inch of your body with long strokes and feathery kisses that made you shiver and moan in frustration.

Lying in the bed, sweating, panting, happy. Especially Bucky’s content as he explains with a drowsy voice that he’s waited since 1942 for this. As he falls asleep, he mumbles that it was worth the wait.

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Hmm...I wonder if the failure of the spin offs is because of the lack of J2 or just lack of the dynamic duo Sam and Dean. I can see in a few years maybe Supernatural might get a remake, especially because in the last several years studios have been enjoying remaking and or rebooting existing IPs (probably because it's easier then paying someone for an original concept lol). Also I think if a hypothetical reboot explicitly confirmed and catered to Destiel it would do a lot better then the other spin offs by miles. Although I'm not sure how J2 would feel about a scenario where randoms took over Sam and Dean though 😅

Anon 2: If Warner Brothers did a total reboot I think it would be successful if it included: The brothers together (duh) Hot younger actors Confirmed bi Dean Strong possibility (if not definite) Dean/Castiel The SPN writers were always tuned into the fandom and if someone decided to make a new SPN it's not unlikely they'd take note as well. Plus attitudes towards portraying queer romances in media are a lot different now then the 00's. Also I think the spin offs were set up to fail, not intentionally, but regardless if Jared and Jensen were in them they would've still failed. The Winchesters was firstly about characters the audience wasn't particularly invested in (especially considering the amount of other characters there are in SPN) but secondly we already know the entire story of John and Mary in detail from 15 seasons of SPN. Wayward Sisters needed more fleshing out before they tried launching it by itself, it come off as haphazard. Neither of these things would of been fixed if both Jared and Jensen had been involved. I think whatever Jared and Jensen do together with SPN going forward will likely do better, less so because it has to have both of them or it will flop, but because they will actally take their time and not rush it (unlike Wayward Sisters) and it will be a story we haven't heard and seen before in SPN (unlike The Winchesters). SPN could easily be a franchise without relying on Sam and Dean but the only time when Warner Brothers or whoever is running things, actually puts in the time and effort for a decent story it's for Jared and Jensen. If that same time and effort was extended for a complete SPN reboot or even other character spin offs, I think it would work, no Jared and Jensen needed. That said don't think a complete SPN reboot is even getting thought by anybody, not for like, at least a decade... or whenever Warner Brothers get to a point they are desperate for ideas.

A huge portion of the GA is conservatives and the country is growing more conservative in general, so I don't think confirming or catering to Destiel would help the chances of a spinoff, but rather the opposite.

Supernatural is an IP that makes a lot of money and I hear the problem isn't WBD, which would be more than happy for a reboot.

[feralkwe]

[insert witty greeing here]

i've had a startling number of new follows (thanks, @thefreelanceangel lmao i'm still sweating over here), so hi! i'm b! just b will suffice, thanks! i've been here since around 2008 and i'll probably die on this hellsite. don't bother rolling me out the door, i'm where i want to be. if you see someone using feralkwe elsewhere, it's probably me. for handy reference, i am also on ao3 and bsky with this handle.

this is hardly a dedicated blog, but i've been in a ffxiv hole for some time now, and don't see myself surfacing from that any time soon. pretty sure that is why most of you are here now.

i'm a filthy ascian-shipper in my villainfucker era. my wol, kit hareington, has an original primal only tank stance, and that is gonna be the bulk of what you find here. i also spent around 15 years in the dragon age fandom, and am not an 'anders apologist' so much as i am a 'he was right' girlie. i love complex, complicated, difficult characters. my love and/or hatred of them tends to stem from this, and if i have a strong feeling about them, it's probably because i find them well-written. i am not hydaelyn/venat friendly. it's not headcanon. it's not a bit. this is how i have interpreted and view the lore and the canon, and how my wol reacts to the story as i play it. i have an entire 'elidibus and zodiark are saviors actually' ted talk at the ready.

that's my 'gun shots to bring the rent down' paragraph.

i'm not going to give a laundry list of information to remember. you'll have to trust that if i speak about something it is informed by my lived experiences and intersectional identity. the exception is that i am aggressively a turtle island ndn, and kind of angry all the time right now as a result. that said, i'm an open book, my askholebox is always open (no anon tho--seriously shut anon off, your life gets better), and i love to chatter and get to know people!

i do not follow a lot of people back, and am slow to do so when i do. i also sometimes rotate who i do follow depending on what my brain can handle. it's not personal, and i still try to interact with people outside of that. i'm not really a 'mutuals only' kind of person. i am also not afraid to block, and will do so for any variety of reasons. i welcome you to do the same with me if it brings you comfort and makes your tumblr experience better. i love getting asks and being tagged in things! if i don't reply, it's probably because i got busy or distracted and try to keep up with it.

i'm a long-time fic writer, a new gposer, amateur shitposter, and love sharing and getting excited with people about what they create and get joy out of. many of my fics are listed in my pinned post. i am also committed to being the enthusiastic supporter fandom person i want to see in the world. i just need more joy in my life right now.

hardly exhaustive, but here are some tags to block or follow if you are so inclined:

b does life -- what it says on the tin and that's jenga -- my anders-specific tag as i do not and will not post in general dragon age tags of any sort. b plays ffxiv -- also what it says on the tin. kit hareington -- that's my wol. b writes fic -- another 'on the tin' tag. kitlidibus -- this one's newish but if you'd like to avoid seeing my shipping nonsense, there you go. block away. b's gpose shenaniganery -- i'm new to crimes and am flailing around trying not to make body horror with brio. i swear i am gonna make a bloopers folder to make all new gposers feel better.

if you want my attention, just talk to me directly. that's all i want, and what i try to do. i'm imperfect. so are you. i hope we can build from there. we're all playing in sandboxes and making dolls kiss because it helps get through the horrors(tm).

still here? cool! come by and say hi! i'd love to chatter!

[laugtherhyena]

What are some of you're favourite Sprite edits you've made Whether that be this year, or any over years you've been in the sprite editing business

Ok so I've made A LOT of edits over the years so it took a lil while for me to sort out the favorites and why exactly, but here it is so get ready for some rambling!

First things first i gotta say this isn't really organized from the one i like the most and least, i like all of these edits a whole lot and i really don't think i can pick one or two to be the favorite.

So let's start from the start (sorta) i have to give a spot to my Fantasy Au twins edits, it would be illegal to not put them in this list

The Sdra2 Fantasy Au was one of the first things i made in the fandom and i was attached to it for a long while. These are actually the 4th version of their sprites, out of all them only the 3rd had a full gallery of sprites and trust me they were complex since on top of posting i even made different tails and ears to move around depending on the emotion of the sprite.

Even tho i never finished this 4th take on them I'm pretty happy with the redesign (since as i grew older i realized some of my choices were questionable and i really should have thought more before just going with it, just keep in mind i was a dumb 14-15 year old then) and the improvement on graphical quality because not only does it show how much i improved in editing but also because editing the fantasy twins were my first really hard edits and i was always happy with how well i was able to translate their weird little designs to sprite form.

The Fantasy Au as a whole had a lot of edits with a bunch of complicated details that i never finshed and although I don't like them as much as the twins i do feel like they deserve to be shown somehere so have this pile of lizards, undead firemen and two human girls.

(fun fact; i didn't know how to add textures back then so see those scales on the dragons? I made them all by hand-)

Next one on the list has gotta be the Nijiue siblings! Crazy to think these guys are only 2-3 years old like it feels like they've been with me for ao much longer!

These guys where my first try at making Oc sprites since before all i did were Au stuff and they're very very dear to me, as you can probably guess by the amount of spites an different iterations i made of them over the years. While there are a few things i could improve upon them if i were to remake their edits nowadays, i never felt a strong need to do so because as it is their sprites hold up well imo so remaking them feels unnecessary to me.

And you know I can't really talk about them without mentioning the Voidswap Au and a couple tumblr blogs owned by friends of mine. After Voidswap's cancelation i didn't thought I'd ever use these guys for anything so to think that nowadays there's so many people who not only know these characters but care for them a lot out of seeing them in Asoot and Dfta more recently really fills me with joy! I'm glad y'all enjoy my silly siblings so much and obviously huge thanks to the mods for wanting to include them in their stories, I really couldn't be more thankful for that!

And since we're talking about the fam, let me add Mako to the list as an honorable mention of sorts, a i'm still very happy with how i made her adult designs especially the whole closed trenchcoat and open trenchcoat thing she has going on and how i was able to cary out the heart motif on both of them :]

This next one is one of my newer edits + a pretty simple one which is this Irl Sora design i made for mod Bubbles around early this year.

Honestly, I don't even know how to explain why i like it this much? Maybe it's because Sora is one of the characters from Sdra2 i still decently enjoy or because i had a fun time coming up with her design. I had in mind that i wanted something plain and simple just like her in-game one, just adapted to a more adult look. Rolled up sleeves to resemble her uniform's ones and a scarf to bring back the spark of red her old design had, i also gave her the short hair that post game Yuki has because it's still her body at the end of the day + i think butch-ish Sora looks pretty good :]

From simplicity we jump back into weirdness with these last ones because obviously i wouldn't leave my girls out of this list, what did you guys even expect?

Favoritism? Absolutely, by now I'm sure all of you know how much i like these two but focusing on the graphical side for once, I'm super proud of their designs, i think they fit with the weirdness of some of Linuj's design choices pretty well which in turn makes them look kinda legit? In my head at least. I also had a lot of fun working on their sprites, especially Beni's since it had been a long while since i last tried to really exaggerate expressions on sprites of my characters so that was really fun! + I'm super proud of the baby sprites i made of them too, almost as much as i like their standard/adult designs really.

[elysiumnotes]

My 9-1-1 s8 Disaster Ideas/Wishlist

So I am going to spend the hiatus for 911 moving onto some of my brushed to the wayside hyperfixations now that the season’s over. Honestly after almost 15 years in fandom, I do not want to wade into the water of angsty ship wars and have already filtered out my tags and blocked certain blogs to ensure my peace.

However, I still will be thinking about my gay little wee woo show and I wanted to post my ideas, wishes, speculations, and predictions. Not necessarily in that order…..

Anyways! First things first, for this little post I wanted to speculate about what s8’s big disaster is going to be and my idea on how it could be done. (ABC if you’re lurking, please feel free to take the idea. You too, Tim. I give this idea away for free) What I think the s8 disaster is:

TORNADO / TWISTER

Now hear me out….as a Canadian, I have no clue if Tornadoes are common or even occur in places like LA. But with a dramatic ass show like 911 that has dealt with titanic-like cruise ship disaster, tsunami, earthquake, mudslides, wildfires, etc. it’s not out of the realm of possibility for them to completely the elemental set.

But moving onto how they would work it in…

I propose that it is used in the season premiere. (stick with me and imagine) LA is on Tornado watch and is hunkering down but the 118 get called to an emergency like they always do. (since it seems like their sector seems to be the entirety of LA, but I digress)

Unfortunately Captain Gerard is still the temp Captain while Bobby is out fighting the decision with the Chief. Obviously the crew does not gel with his leadership style which affects their ability to complete this rescue that’s in the path of the tornado.

Now this is where I get a little insane….Please stick with me on this….

This will be an Eddie centric 2 part premiere as he’s still reeling from Chris’s decision to go to Texas for the summer. (I refuse to have him leave completely) He’s kinda going stir crazy in an empty house now that his son’s not there. Instead of Buck being the normally reckless one, Eddie dives into the rescue against Gerard’s orders as the wind picks up. The tornado gets too close and the winds too strong that they can’t go after him safely and that cause the structure he’s in to collapse on him and knock him out.

Here’s the crazy part…

As he’s knocked out, we go into Eddie’s dreamscape consciousness that is just pretty much a 911 version retelling of the Wizard of Oz….

(I promise this will be a compelling arc)

…..which we will eventually learn is the movie he ended up watching the night before as had been having some cases of Insomnia now that Chris was gone.

Now you’re thinking, Elysium, that absolutely bonkers and how would they ever pull it off? Truthfully I don’t know how they would write but I can give the bare bones of what I imagine for it.

Eddie wakes up in weird not-version of LA after the Tornado passes to find a firetruck crushing the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ Gerard.

He’ll take the Saint Christopher medal from the body (why? I don’t know… it’s his weird dream sequence about coming to terms with his grief)

No memories/vague recollection of what he’s doing. All he knows is that he has to get back home to his soul. His family.

Eventually he is found by ‘Glinda the Good Witch’ Evan ‘’Buck’ Buckley, who gives him a goal to work towards and solid advice to find the great wizard (Bobby) who should be able to grant his wish.

Obviously he will be joined by Hen & Chim as companions, each searching for their own thing. (not to be one-to-one with the Tin Man & Lion, but Hen’s thing would be about courage to fight the councilwoman and get Mara back. Chim looking for the heart could be maybe thinking about having more kids once Mara is back with Henren. You stuff like like that, idk)

Dealing with the Witch Gerard and the flying monkeys (which would be all the obstacles that the 118 face, grief about Shannon, unresolved catholic guilt, his parents taking his kid, etc)

Finally Eddie will make it to the Wizard (Bobby), the man he conflated and put on pedestal because the Good Witch Buck, who sees Bobby as his his father figure (which is a good thing don’t get me wrong), also did. Only to realize Bobby is also just a man like him, his true foil (narratively this would be made clear to the audience using flashbacks) who like him, only became grand because his pushed himself to work for it even through his grief and bad moments.

What Eddie realizes is that he was looking for his way back home to his perfect life and family, to a Chris who won’t currently be there. And that destroying himself to wait for him to come back won’t fix the issue. Glinda will also help him with this.

He realizes that the way to make amends is to do like Bobby and put the effort into that change. He going to make his home a comfortable space for Chris again, so when he does come back, he knows that things will be different. He’ll take time for himself to properly grieve Shannon (and get more therapy, god!) and take the space to delve into some self-discovery whole were at it.

Then he’ll wake up from being knocked out by his team, not including Gerard, once the Tornado is gone. Maybe they go back to the station after a checkup at the hospital and Bobby comes back saying he’s reinstated and Gerard is gone. (I’m not really planning for this stuff)

Now, I’m obviously missing some characters in this dream sequence but I don’t know where they would fit. And I’m avoiding some big sexuality and romantic notions in regards to Eddie.

Trust that I know and I want it too, but I also want to avoid the ship wars this summer. So I’ll leave it vague, even though to me the idea of Eddie being Dorothy is very explicit in what arc I want for him.

Let me know what you would cast the other 911 character as in this version of Oz. Also thank you for indulging my crazy idea. I’ll be back with more.

Also #RaviMainS8!

[silly-litttle-writer]

I have feelings about Aegon and since we’re all waiting for season two I’m gonna rant for a bit.

…

I’d like to talk about Alicent in the Green trailer saying something along the lines of “do you understand how much has been sacrificed to get you on the throne?” to Aegon and how low key manipulative that line is.

She knows Aegon doesn’t care about the throne but he does care about being burdensome to his family and that’s why the line most likely weighs heavily on him, we don’t quite know how he reacts from it but from the little bit in the trailer the line does affect him.

This is Aegon having to literally be dragged to his own coronation! This is Aegon trying to flee to Essos to avoid a war over the throne he doesn’t want or feel he is worthy of and ALICENT HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT TO HIM?! HE DIDNT WANT THIS! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO AVOID ALL OF IT BECAUSE HE HATED THE IDEA OF TAKING THE THRONE SO MUCH HE WAS WILLING TO GIVE UP BEING A PRINCE! HE DIDNT ASK FOR ANY OF IT AND YOU’RE GOING TO USE THAT TO EMOTIONALLY HURT HIM?! Like I’m grateful the show is showing that side of her cause that is book accurate Alicent but I hattttteeee how Aegon is treated in the show and by the fandom.

I hatttteee that certain characters are deemed sympathetic and oh no poor them (Viserys) while others are not graced with an ounce of sympathy or most importantly empathy (Aegon). Is Viserys entirely bad? No, I hate him but I do not believe he has no redeeming qualities. He loved Aemma and he unfortunately realized his greed for a son was less important far too late, after he killed his wife for a son, does he love Rhaenyra and (sometimes, it’s rare cause Viserys is a coward by nature) stand up for her? Yes, but he is far less sympathetic than CHILD (say whatever you want about adult Aegon but child Aegon deserves none of what he is given) Aegon in my mind I will take no criticism on that. Viserys actively created the toxic environment he is surrounded by, if he’s suffering it’s of his own making. Aegon was a child for a bit of this nonsense and had absolutely no control over what happened around him.

Aegon is the son VISERYS FORCED TO EXIST. He manipulated (softly which is why people like Viserys more than like Larys Strong for example) but he still MANIPULATED (show Alicent not book Alicent cause book Alicent is the one who seduces him and manipulates him) Alicent into marrying him at 15, forcing her to have his children as she can’t deny her husband AND THE LITERAL KING. He wanted a son so badly he carved his first wife up to try to save the son that was killing her, this failed and so he forced Alicent to give him that son and then ONCE AEGON IS NO LONGER CUTE OR EASY TO LOVE HE TOSSES HIM ASIDE. He becomes completely and utterly absent in Aegon’s life and that’s not even talking about how little he cares about Helaena, Aemond, or Daeron, Daeron who was literally shipped off to another part of the continent. He does not care for Aegon, he doesn’t guide him, does not instruct him and teach him the ways of the world. Instead Aegon is stuck with having to rely on Criston “I bash in people’s skulls cause I can’t control my anger and I can’t get over the girl I fucked ten years ago” Cole and Otto “I view women as literal incubators for sons” Hightower, alongside Alicent “I’m a hypocritical coward who will damn and literally terrorize any woman who tries to find a way to cheat the patriarchal society instead of using my power as Queen to make my children’s lives better than my own” Hightower. These same people teach and raise him. One, they teach him to not regulate or handle his emotions. Two, they frequently and repeatedly beat and verbally insult him for just saying I don’t want to challenge my sister for a throne that isn’t mine. Three, teaches him and enables the toxic and sexist mentality perpetrated by the society that they live in that women are things to use and abuse by men and that consent does not matter to him because he is not only a man but a prince and she has no real right to deny him.

Why do you think Aegon grows to be an abuser? Because he was never taught anything else. His bad behavior was enabled or even encouraged, with only slight punishment from the same woman who literally paid his victim hush money to not tell people that her son forced himself on her. She stands there telling the girl her son forced himself on that “I understand” and “It’s not your fault” and then LITERALLY PAYS HER HUSH MONEY TO SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND GIVES HER WESTEROSI BIRTH CONTROL! THEREFORE ENABLING AND ALLOWING THAT BEHAVIOR AND SHE ACTS LIKE SHE HAD NO PART TO PLAY IN WHY HER SON BECAME AN ABUSER!

He is exactly your son. He is the son you chose to raise. Aegon wasn’t born like this, YOU MADE HIM LIKE THIS AND THEN DESPISE AND CURSE HIM FOR IT. He never had a chance to be anything else, he was doomed from the start and that is why I empathize more with Aegon than Viserys. Do I feel bad that Aegon was slapped and called out for forcing himself on a girl? No, he should have been properly punished. He should have been punished for that kind of behavior a LONG time ago. But that’s exactly the problem, Alicent doesn’t punish him for this behavior and then gets upset when he continues doing it. You created the “monster” in front of you and then are shocked when he does monstrous things. You made your own bed and now you refuse to lie in it and instead choose to frequently and repeatedly abuse, terrorize, and antagonize those who refuse to participate (Rhaenyra) in the system that turned you into a victim and your son into an abuser.

[sadtusk]

i really need to not vent here anymore and just leave the app forever or something if posting here causes me so much distress. this should be my final rant. this is too personal to go on the homestar runner tag, but it's still important as i talk about the fandom here so maybe it's worth a read if you care about me or that kinda stuff.

all of my issues come from a year ago when i was arguing with someone over twitter and they vented to some people in a homestar discord server about it. those people (most of them being grown adults over the age of 18) proceeded to say some very hurtful things, some bordering on death threats, despite most of them barely/not even knowing me. they all shared screenshots of whatever embarrassing things they could find of me and talks about how they should "just kill that moletusk guy" and how i was a freakazoid. only months later did it all get relayed back to me. i would understand it, even completely sweep it under the rug if they were all around my age or i had harmed them all, but there were people as old as 30 there and most i had only ever tried to be nice to, if i knew them at all. even if they just wanted to discuss me and didn't mean it, it was incredibly inappropriate and left me with mental scars. you think it'd fix me but instead i only got more violent towards others and i'm now extremely defensive of strong sad to the point where i've lashed out at doubles because i can't stand the thought of them. (which has probably caused. even more bullying in that server. i won't be trying to check this time because i want them to have a chance at an apology before my views of these people get worse somehow.)

i wasn't the only victim of this either, i just the youngest, i think. they assumed i was 15, which while wrong (i was 14), still meant they knew they were picking on a teenager who wasn't going to act as mature as an adult. and most of these people were popular members of the homestar runner community, which is why i don't talk about my experiences with them. they can all get away with it even if i do share screenshots with their tumblr tags attached because nobody here cares enough about toxicity or any bad members of the community. selfshippers get bullied by these people despite making up half the fandom, proshippers barely get chased out, and if you're a little bit more weird and annoying than everyone else you're scum.

TLDR: the homestar fandom has a major bullying problem and i was a victim of it. but nobody gaf.

[the-blue-eyed-firebender]

Hi!

Have I ever told you this? (Probably! But I'll say it again, ha) It's been an absolute treat reading your Royai fics. Thank you for joining this fandom!

What are your inspirations? 😃 In terms of writing style, but also ideas, etc. Please indulge us all, and please do geek out about your writing process too!

I always love learning about how fan fic writers work and write!

Thank you, and I hope you have a lovely day~

Hey there!

You are so kind. It's hard to put into words how much it means to have had such a lovely reception from the FMA fandom. I used to write a lot when I was a kid, but eventually stopped due to some unfortunate and painful circumstances. Writing for this fandom over the last couple of months has been an incredible journey. It has healed some very intrinsic parts of me that I’d forgotten were wounded, and I have written more in the last few months than I have in 15+ years.

So, first and foremost, thank YOU.

Inspirations: I've always been a lover of fantasy and science fiction. My very first fandom was Star Wars, followed shortly thereafter by Avatar: The Last Airbender. Recently, I've become a huge Sarah J. Maas fan (I read ALL of her books in the year 2023 - minus the new one that came out in January). I've also enjoyed Suzanne Collins and Leigh Bardugo (particularly her Six of Crows duology).

But really, I just love stories. I love adventure, magic, and romance. I look for complex characters, vibrant worlds, strong magic systems, and rich backstories. My favorites always involve women who embody strength (mental, physical, and emotional), capable leadership, and femininity. Characters who are equal parts war-like and compassionate, fearsome yet soft.

But my very best inspiration comes from real-life: my sweet husband. It's going to sound silly, but I feel like I write about true love because I've experienced it. This guy was 100% written by a woman (lol). He's read everything I've written, and provides the most wonderful feedback and encouragement.

As far as style/process, I feel like I am still developing it? Haha! It's only been a minute since I got back into writing. But it usually starts with daydreaming to music (often songs without lyrics; Secession Studies is a favorite), typically while I'm in the car. With my first FMA fic, The Counteroffer, I was listening to "Beautiful Things" by Benson Boone on repeat. Something about the way he sings "Please stay / I want you, I need you, oh God" really set the tone for that story. That, combined with inspiration from the infamous Chapter 54 of A Court of Mist and Fury.

There's usually an moment or a line of dialogue that pops into my brain first (for The Counteroffer, it was Hawkeye lifting the discharge paperwork to find Mustang has also given her an unsigned marriage certificate). I write that bit, then the rest of the story sort of fills in around it. I write in disjointed fragments, adding chunks here and there and then connecting them together. Sometimes I shuffle things around, moving chunks to different locations in the story to see how it changes the flow.

Beginnings, endings, and titles are usually the hardest for me to come up with.

And here's a few of my own patterns that I've started to notice:

I love stories that read with a poetic beat to them (I think the best example of this in my own work is Hourglass).

I use line breaks for emphasis a lot.

I am intentional about keeping things concise but impactful. When it comes to word count, my personal rule is quality > quantity, always.

I try not to use "said/says" without other descriptive words.

If a portion of the story is dialogue driven, I'll read it aloud to make sure it actually flows like real conversation.

I often drop "and" from sentences when I feel like it messes with the poetic flow ("She became familiar with the space between heartbeats, the squeeze of the trigger, the wet sound of a bullet finding its mark." - Hourglass).

In the same vein, I use a sort of "rule of threes" quite a bit. I break sentences into three parts, offer three descriptions of a character's observation/sensation/emotion, repeat the same phrase three times, etc. (Oh look, I've done it again.)

I write in third person, present tense, always from the perspective of one character at a time. I feel like this puts myself and the reader right in the middle of the action, as it's happening. I dive deep into the primary character's thoughts and senses, both internal and external.

I re-read/re-watch the original content (i.e. FMAB, the manga) often, even if it's just in small parts. It keeps me grounded to who these characters are, and prevents me from going OOC. It's so easy to lose track of characterization if it's been too long since I watched an episode or read a chapter.

Hoo boy this got long. Thanks so much for the delightful ask! It was a lot of fun to dive into my own writing process and habits.

[eggtoasterfrfr]

Hallo!

Reciprocating the question right back at you!

Are you into any fandoms?

OMG yes I so do I have wwayyyyy to many I sweaarr

I'm also in a lot of the ones you listed! mainly:

PJO (I literally got into it this year and I spedran 15 books in a few months WOOHOO)

Alien Stage (also got into it this year via a friend!!)

Death Note (not a recent development but I just really like death note teehee)

Undertale (it's my first fandom ever started maybe 6 years ago and surprisingly im still in it)

but aside from those im also in a bunch others!!! like:

MHA (it came back as a hyperfixation after 3 years like last week when i started rewatching it from S2 out of boredom and I don't even know what's happening rn but im I'm excited about it for some reason WOOHOO)

One Piece (I'm a one piece fiend I LOVE ONE PIECE I watched until the 1000th episode within a year and I just STOPPED because right on the 1000th episode there was a blackout...)

Mob Psycho 100 (I love mob psycho SOOO MUCH istg I could go on and on about it)

Deltarune (THE NEW CHAPTERS ARE COMING OUT SOON!!!!!!!! THANK YOU TOBY FOX)

Soul Eater (I LOVE SOUL EATER SO MUCH CRONA AND DTK ARE MY FAVORITES also the art style im just. idek)

HxH (I LOVE HUNTER X HUNTER SO MUCH MEREUM AND GON AND KITE AND NEFERPICHOU ARE MY FAVORITES)

One Punch Man (it's just so delightful and funny and silly and a little strange just like all the others and one of the only fandoms I've drawn fanart of...)

Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun (so. if you look through my photo gallery, there are two months where everything that existed in it are wtdsik manga screenshots. not one or two, there are WALLS OF IT I am a little shameful because I'm scared it's endangering my storage)

Komi Can't Communicate (THE FIRST MANGA IVE EVER ACTUALLY READ AND I READ HUNDREDS UNTIL I CAUGHT UP it's not that strong anymore but I bet if i started reading it again I would get way too silly with it and ditch all my responsibilities)

Epic the Musical (also introduced by the same alien stage friend amongst many others and im obsessed)

TOA (Trials of Apollo which I read RIGHT AFTER FINISHING PJO it should be MORE POPULARRR!!!)

Hamilton (IM SUCH A BIG NERD I KNOW EVERY SINGLE SONG PLEASE ITS SO GOOD IVE WATCHED IT SO MANY TIMES IT NEVER GETS OLD 😋)

Dandadan (literally watching it rn and I'm propelling off the walls im not sure how long it'll last but im very sure it'll be on my mind for the next few months screams)

Scissor Seven (I can't even there's also an era in my photo gallery for this one... and it's very niche, too... I wish for the fandom to keep growing steadily so that I get more goodies MUAHAHAHHA)

Return of the Mount Hua Sect (OR Return of the Blossoming Blade if you use the webtoon name) im insane about them i beaded a keychain with its symbol for an art project and it's not even funny how it gives me physical palpitations GRGRGEGGEHDH)

Dororo (I love it so much and I think it's fandom should be way bigger so that more people knows about it)

that's it for the ones I'm currently in BBBBBUTT!!! I'm boutta dive into SO MANY MORES (or hopefully get back into):

Detroit: Become Human (I'm planning to go over to my good friends place and play the game because we watched the first thirty minutes of gameplay and I got so into it so HOPEFULLY I'll get properly into the fandom soon)

Demon Slayer (on my summer watch list I loved everything about it when I first watched it... now I just need to FINISH IT!!! (or catch up?))

Dragon Ball Z (IT WAS MY FREAK OUT FANDOM LAST YEAR AND I FREAKED OUT OVER IT SOO MUCH)

Dr Stone (last summer FREAK OUT anime as well and got SO HYPED over it LOVE SENKU LOVE RYUSUI!!! I really need to get back into it)

Forsaken (it's a game on Roblox. I don't know how big the fanbase is but it does have lore and a good premise for gameplay and I'm quaking in excitement)

ANYWAYS THATS ALL THE BIG ONES I CAN THINK OF!! I'm so sorry THERES SO MANY BUT I JUST GET SO SILLY ABOUT MY LITTLE GUYS YIPPEEEE

thank you for reading lol and thank you so much for the ask btw! this is like my first ever big post and I hate to bombard it with so much stuff...

anyhow, have a fantastical day everyone!! 😋😋 happy fandom indulging

[takaraphoenix]

43 for Peter and Stiles,

29 for Stiles and 18 for Derek because I think I'm funny

And 12 for your pick because I'm evil

Well, now I'm scared of 12 xDDD Thank you for playing, Cupcake ^-^

43. What type of weather makes you think of this character?

Okay so I feel like my pick for Stiles is suuuper obvious on account of me always, constantly, consistently representing Stiles with a lightning storm. Storms, wild rain and lightning, thunder roaring in the background.

Peter is harder though. Windy dark night, I think. Something about Peter feels like strong wind, harsh and biting, pushing and pulling. Yes.

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

I am an angsty hurt/comfort writer who loves to see people suffer but good fucking gods not for Derek, this bitch suffers so much in canon it is actually unreal that he is still sane.

Killed his first love after putting her into that situation to begin with? Groomed and raped at 15 by the woman who killed his entire fucking family? Aside from his big sister, who got murdered by his uncle, who he then kills? The government for some reason claimed his land and home??? The woman who groomed and raped him comes back and tortures him a bunch?? The third woman he falls for turns out to literally be a serial killer?? And then he has to give up the Alpha spark, the only graspable thing he has left of his family? To save his sister's life? Just to have his sister fuck off and never show up again??? And he has to play mentor to the very kid he had tried to mentor for like all of seasons 1 through 3A, who somehow became Alpha of these lands? Just to in the end have that kid abandon the territory too, so it's like he lost everything for fuck no reason? And then they made a stupid ass movie just to kill him?

This man has suffered enough. I didn't know that was possible for a fictional character, but good fucking gods, let this man rest. I want to wrap him up in a blanket and let him be happy. No more pain, only pack and love.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

Stiles? No. There are characters I do bully, but I feel like I deadass respect Stiles too much for that. I love that vicious little bastard. I build him up, I let him be unrestrained. I bully Jackson, but not Stiles.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

Oh, I feel obligated to answer this one for something not Teen Wolf because writing effortlessly and as much as I wanted whatever stories I would want is kind of exactly what I have been doing for the past eight months now.

So, curveball outta left field: Rei Kon. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, because I realized that next year is my 20th anniversary as a fic writer and he was kind of how things started for me.

I have a bunch of abandoned Beyblade fanfiction form back in the day. Because the fandom died and I tried to keep going in a dead fandom but couldn't anymore at one point and just... dropped out.

If I could write effortlessly and as much as I wanted for any character of my choosing, I would translate and rewrite (aka update-my-writing because it has been two decades and I improved as a writer) my most beloved Rei centric fics from back in the day and finally finish them. It absolutely wrecks me about one fic in particular. It's at 50k, with 20/50 chapters written, but I got the other 30 chapters outlines. I fiercely, deeply loved this story, it was my biggest project until I hit Chasing Fireflies.

This story, this one story, translated, worked over and finished, would be what I wish the most that I could do and it fucks me up that I can't.

Character Ask Game

[lifewtr]

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ * fan fic tag game * ∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹

HELLO @krankittoeleven! THANKS FOR THE TAG, WE ARE DEFINITELY HOMIES NOW :D i enjoyed your answers a lot; it's nice to meet you! ♥

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

as of today, i have 50 fics on the archive!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

426,518. jeez.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

predominantly avatar: the last airbender, though i have certainly dabbled in others over the years. right now i'm slowly working my way into the jujutsu kaisen fandom ♥♥

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Lemon, Two Sugars (zutara, rated M): 905 kudos.

Give It Up (zutara, rated E): 824 kudos.

Half Joy (vinceno, rated E): 457 kudos.

Lyk Dis (zutara, rated E): 425 kudos.

Put It Down (zutara, rated E): 414 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I DO I'M JUST ABYSMAL WITH TIMELY REPLIES. I'M SORRY I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE I SWEAR <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

like the homie krankittoeleven, i pretty much only use angst as a plot device - there are only happy/hopeful endings in this household lmao - but if i consider context, the fic with the angstiest ending is probably Honorfall (zutara, rated E). maybe Of All the Things My Hands Have Held (zutaraang, rated M)..?

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lots of my fics have happy endings ;))))) as for the happiest... ahh, probably If It Means a Lot to You (zukaang, rated M) and Flowers Never Pick Themselves (zutaraang, rated M).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

er, yes and no? i feel like hate is a strong word. it's more so that there are some readers who have simply ~disliked~ certain premises of mine, which, y'know, is what it is! click away or write your own shit! ♥

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

the good kind, baby, and absolutely nothing less. if it doesn't make me wet, i don't post it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

i used to! especially with and amongst irl friends. if there was a fandom i/we were into, there was a harry potter crossover in our shared docs to go with it LOL.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

an entire fic? no, not to my knowledge anyway. but i've definitely had some scenes and dialogue grabbed and scattered across the web over the years.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no ;-; i've never even had art made for/inspired by my fics ;-;;;; one day though. one day i am going to write something [clenches fist] so fucking good...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

several times! said fics will not be seeing the light of today, but yes! i love a good co-write!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

once again, like the new homie i will not be picking just one and you will simply have to deal with it LOL. i am extremely down bad for tony stark/bucky barnes, tony stark/t'challa, tony stark/stephen strange.. okay i'm tony-centric, fuckin sue me. anyways. i still really love sesshomaru/kagome, zuko/katara, harry potter/hermione granger, trevor/alucard/sypha, and now gojo/nanami. when i tell you i am fERAL ABOUT NANAGO—

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Take Care (zutara, rated M), and several other zutara fics that i have put into a graveyard so that even though they're unlikely to be completed, they can still be appreciated!

16. What are your writing strengths?

mmm. this is a bit hard for me to answer because i feel like i could use improvement everywhere, always. i could probably use some more work in my dialogue though (just having more of it, i think). with conflict resolution as well - circling back to angst, i usually gloss over it because i want [my] characters to have nothing but good times and good endings. i need to be less wary of putting them through some shit, which i am working on!

anywayyy. my biggest strength is my prose!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

up for debate, but personally my weakness is outlines. i try to use them but my brain does not like having "rules" when it comes to creating a story, even if i am the one to write them ;;

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i'm a native (american) english speaker, so this question feels.. odd? bc ~american~? but as a native english speaker, i absolutely don't mind at all. i love languages and i love letting them into my brain! i myself use words from different languages, especially in what i'm writing is based in another country/place of origin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha! no you cannot see it, it's lost in the ether!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Real War is Far Easier (zutaraang, rated M) and Performance Issues (zutara, rated E), which was a gift to the wonderful @zutarawasrobbed! there's a whole universe there that nobody but the two of us know about and i can't wait for the day that everyone can laugh about it as much as we do LOL

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ *∘⋆∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹⊹․⊹․∘⟡

tagging: @nire-the-mithridatist @gemgirl28 @andthedicestopped and @fidget-scribbles ♥

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2024–Day 5: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (2/3)

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Word Count: 2547

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 2: Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Notes: This story was originally written in 2014.

“Looks like your boyfriend learned about Christmas,” David said dryly as he pushed open the sheriff’s station door.           

Emma elbowed her way past her father to have a look and then barked out a laugh.  A veritable forest of mistletoe hung above her desk and chair.  David was right; it couldn’t be the work of anyone but her adorable idiot of a pirate.

“Although if he really wanted to get you to kiss him,” David continued, draping his winter coat over the back of his own chair, “he would have hung it inside one of the jail cells.  We left the station locked when we went on rounds, so I’m pretty sure this qualifies as breaking and entering.”

Emma grinned.  “Cut him some slack, Dad.  There are far, far worse things he could have done, don’t you think?”

“That depends,” David replied with a frown.

“Yeah?  On what?”

“Whether or not he makes use of the mistletoe when I’m around.”

Emma laughed again, still amazed at the happiness that was her life at the moment.  Seriously, who would have thought that Emma Swan, the unloved, unwanted orphan would one day have to deal with an overzealous pirate boyfriend and an overprotective father?

“I’ll make him behave,” Emma promised.  “At least while you’re around.”

David grimaced.  “You had to tack on that last part?”

“Yep,” Emma replied, taking a seat.  “Deal with it Dad; your little girl’s dating a pirate.  Bound to be some…um…misbehavior.  Probably on both our parts.”

David groaned.

Her dad put up a good show, but Emma knew that’s all it was—a show.  The bromance was strong with these two.  Emma didn’t know who was happier that her relationship with Killian was still going strong, her or her dad.

A month had passed since Gold’s sorcerer’s hat stunt, and they were all still reeling from it to various extents.  She’d had nightmares about it every night for a solid two weeks following the incident.  Nightmares where they didn’t make it in time.  Nightmares where she, her mom and Belle arrived at the clock tower a moment after Gold had finished crushing Killian’s heart into a fine powder.  She’d woken up shaking and bathed in sweat. 

If Gold had succeeded…she couldn’t even bring herself to finish the sentence.  The very thought scared her more than anything in her life had ever scared her.

It was in that moment when she was frozen in place, helpless to protect Killian, that she gave up the last bit of pretense.  She loved him; there was no denying it.  Just the sight of him was enough to make the butterflies start tap dancing in her stomach.

“What do you think of my first attempt at decorating for the season?” 

Speak of the devil. 

Killian strode in with the confidence (and looks) of a fashion model.  He leaned down, brushed a kiss against her cheek and then straightened with the grin she’d come to learn meant trouble.

“Not bad,” she said, “but you know people usually just hang one sprig of mistletoe, not a whole garden.”

He tsked, and frowned at her playfully.  “And where would be the fun in that?  I’d prefer to increase my chances of finding myself under it with a fetching lass rather than limit them.”

He pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her.  “Speaking of which, it appears you and I are currently standing beneath a particularly hearty specimen.  Holiday traditions must be observed, darling.  Good form and all.”

She grinned and looped her arms around his neck.  “So what are you waiting for?”

His smile turned distinctly wicked.  “Not a thing in the world, love.”

A wildfire raged between them at the first touch of his lips to hers.  It was always like this between them; like someone had tossed a lit match on a mountain of dry kindling.  Emma tilted her head, instantly deepening the kiss, reveling in the feel of his hand in her hair anchoring her to him, his hook at her back urging her closer.

David cleared his throat.  Loudly.  Whatever adjectives could be used to describe her father, “subtle” was not one of them.  Emma pulled away with an apologetic look at her boyfriend, then turned to face her dad.  Killian reached down and laced his fingers with hers.

“You guys mind?” David asked with a hint of exasperation.  “This is a place of business after all.”

“Funny,” Killian said with a smirk, “you seemed to be singing an entirely different tune that night last week when I walked in to find you and your lovely wife similarly expressing your affection.”

David spluttered.  “That’s…that’s different!”

“Aye?  How so?”

“It’s different because…because…well, because it just is.”

Killian laughed with such good humor that soon even David joined in.  “Look,” her father finally said, “I’m glad you two are happy together, I really am, but could you keep the PDA to a minimum while I’m around?  Please?”

Killian sketched a bow.  “I shall endeavor to control myself, but confronted with your daughter’s ravishing beauty, I am, more often than not, unable to express my admiration any other way.”

Emma laughed and swatted him playfully.  “You are so full of it.”

“Aye,” he returned with a flirtatious wink, “but I noticed you failed to put up a protest at my ‘PDA’ a moment ago.”

“I’ll admit,” she returned, placing her free hand over his heart, a gesture she found herself making more and more frequently since his ordeal with Gold, “kissing you is kind of addicting.  So, what’s up?  We weren’t supposed to meet for lunch for another hour or so.”

“I’ve come to steal you away, love,” He said, giving her hand a squeeze.  “The snow has bathed the woods in a blanket of loveliness, and I wish to share it with my favorite lass.”

“I can’t just go take a stroll in the woods,” Emma said.  “For one thing, it’s cold.  For another, I’ve got work to do.  And did I mention, it’s cold?”

The look on his face was two parts puppy and one part wicked.  “If we don’t go, I’ll be forced to hang around and, no doubt, nauseate your father.  We wouldn’t want that, now would we?  Besides, I’m…more than capable of keeping you warm.”

“Ugh,” David said.  “Emma just go with him.  I’ll cover for you.”

“Well,” Emma said, grabbing her coat and hat, “if you both insist…”

“We do,” David and Killian said in unison.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Emma had to admit it was beautiful and peaceful out here. And with Killian’s arm draped around her, surprisingly warm as well.  On impulse, she reached up and pecked him on the cheek. 

“And what was that delightful gesture for, Swan?”

She shrugged.  “No reason.  Just…thank you.  You were right.  It’s nice to get away from the craziness of the town for a while.”

He smiled, making the crow’s feet stand at attention at the edges of his eyes.  “Darling, when are you going to finally realize that I’m always right?”

Emma rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the grin from her face.  “Don’t hold your breath, pirate.”

“Thought as much,” Killian muttered under his breath.

Emma had never been a big fan of winter.  She hated the cold, and the snow drove her crazy—especially now that she was the sheriff and was called to every fender bender and slide-off in the whole damn town.  Killian, however, seemed to have an entirely different opinion on the matter.  His face was lit up with the wonder and awe of a child as he trudged through the ankle-deep snow and watched the flurries continue to drift down.

“You seem to be enjoying this weather,” she observed, reaching up to feather her fingers through his hair and dislodge the stubborn snowflakes that had evidently decided to take up residence there.

“Aye,” he said, looking down at her with a delighted grin.  “Always reminds me of a day I spent with Liam many, many years ago.”

Emma perked up at the mention of Killian’s brother.  “You never talk about him.  I always assumed the memories were too painful for you.”

Killian smiled tenderly.  “Aye, some memories are.  It seems no matter how many centuries go by, the sting of his passing will never truly fade.  I do, however, have many, many pleasant memories of him, and the day we spent in the snow is certainly one of those.”

“Would you tell me about it?”

“Of course,” he complied without hesitation.  “It was one of the last good memories I had of my family.  My mum died the following year, and my father was never the same after her passing.  At any rate, I was but a wee lad at the time, five, maybe six years old.  Liam was a good ten years my senior and I nearly worshiped him.  He’d just informed me that he would be leaving in less than a fortnight upon his first ship; I no longer recall her name.  He was to be a cabin boy and I’ve rarely seen a lad so excited.  I was, of course, devastated that my brother, my hero, would be leaving me in a matter of days.”

“I can only imagine,” Emma soothed.  Killian felt things so deeply; his entire heart and soul were invested when he loved.  Liam’s departure must have hit him hard.

“Aye,” he said with a grimace.  “Anyway, on the day in question, Liam woke me, excited about the newly fallen snow.  We two spent the entire day reveling in it—making snowmen and snow fortifications.  Engaging in a rather ruthless snowball fight.  It was a day I wouldn’t trade for all the rum in the Enchanted Forest.”

“It sounds great.”

“Aye, that it was.”

They lapsed into silence for a time.  Emma rested her head against his shoulder, and she felt him brush a kiss against the crown of her head.

“So how was your breakfast with Henry?” Emma asked.

“Informative,” Killian said, and Emma could hear the smile in his voice.  “The lad is a wealth of information.  He seems quite excited for this Christmas holiday.”

Emma sighed.  “Yeah.  Seems like it’s all he can talk about.”

Killian looked over at her.  “From your tone, I take it you don’t share his sentiments?”

“No.”  The word was definitive, emphatic.

“The lad told me as much,” Killian admitted.  “He was concerned that you seem unwilling to participate in this realm’s Christmas traditions.”

Emma grimaced.  “I was hoping it would be enough for him to get all the Christmas crap at Regina’s or my mom and dad’s.”

Killian stopped walking and turned her toward him.  “The lad didn’t come to me because he needs more Christmas; he came to me because he’s worried about you.”

Henry was worried about her?  Because of Christmas?  “He doesn’t need to be.  I’m fine.”

Killian looked at her skeptically.  “Swan, I’ve seen you ‘fine’.  I’ve seen you happy.  I’ve seen you content.  You are feeling none of those emotions.  This ‘Christmas’ is obviously a source of pain for you.  Please, tell me why that is.”

Emma sighed.  There really was no point trying to hide anything from this man.  “It’s just…I don’t know.  Christmas is all about family and happiness and being together and stuff.”

“And these are bad things?”  At some point, Killian brought his good hand up to cup her face, and he was gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. 

“No…”  Emma drew out the syllable.  “Not in general, but for an unwanted little girl in the group homes it was torture.  I mean, everywhere you turned you’d get assaulted with images of happy little families doing happy little family things.  Every time you turned on the TV you’d see commercials and movies and everything else where everyone was perfectly happy and enjoying each other’s company.  The songs talk about it being the happiest time of the year, or about how people love going home for the holidays or the love of family.  You know what it was for me?  It was a slap in the face.  It was yet another reminder that I’d never had that and probably never would.”

The compassion in Killian’s eyes nearly broke her.  He dropped his hand from her face and gathered her into his arms, holding her tight.  She clung to him, drinking in the love he offered her.

“Emma,” he whispered., “there are so many, many people who love you.  So many, many people who would do anything to make you happy.”

The tears rushed to her eyes.  “I know, and it means everything in the world to me.  It’s just—I don’t know.  Childhood memories die hard.  I don’t know if I can even do all the ‘happy family Christmas’ stuff.”

“But you said it yourself, love,” Killian reasoned, stroking her hair.  “Christmas isn’t about perfectly fulfilling the traditions you’re accustomed to.  It’s not about living up to the standards you believe the ‘perfect’ families attained.  It’s not about fulfilling a checklist of Christmas items.  It’s about being with the ones you love; showing them how much you care.”

Killian pulled away.  “Let us love you,” he said simply.  “Let us show you how much you mean to all of us.  Let us build our own traditions, our own memories.  Perhaps they won’t erase the pain of the past, but trust me love, the good memories, the beautiful moments—they shine as brightly as the star Leroy attempted to force me to place on the top of Granny’s tree—if you but let them.  They are like the sun that blots out the light of the stars.  Losing Liam to dreamshade—it was one of the darkest days of my life.  The pain of losing my brother, the man who was captain and brother and hero to me, was such that words cannot describe.  Even so, traumatic as that day was, it cannot hold a candle to the simple joy of that day spent playing in the snow. ”

“I wish I’d met Liam,” Emma said with a wistful smile.

“As do I love,” Killian said.  “He would have liked you—and would have thanked his lucky stars that I’d finally found myself a beautiful blonde savior to point me back to the man I wish to be.”

Emma stroked his face.  “He’d be proud of you, Killian.  You’re a good man; one of the best and most honorable I know.”

Killian turned his head and brushed a kiss against her palm.  “You can have no idea how sweet those words sound coming from your lips.  I have but one bit of advice for you, love: don’t run from the love of family and the joys of Christmas all around you.  Make new memories, good memories.  I can promise you; you won’t regret it.”

Emma reached up and brushed a soft kiss against his lips.  “Maybe you’re right.”

“Again with the skepticism, darling?  Didn’t we just establish I’m always right?”

Emma chuckled.  “Whatever.  I’m hungry.  Are you going to take me to lunch or not?”

Killian sketched a bow.  “My lady’s wish is my command.”

–Up next, Emma and Killian return to her apartment after the town’s Christmas Eve party.

NEXT CHAPTER->