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ponett · 11 months ago

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Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video • Movies • Comics • Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it’ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance.

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

#bobby writes #i don't have a writing tag so i'm making one now to save this and other things

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tozettastone · 2 months ago

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Fantasy Novels Recommended By Vibes

A note about warnings and assumptions: I have given no content warnings, but most of these books have them, usually for violence or sexism. Except the middle grade books. I have assumed everyone knows who Tolkien and Jordan and Le Guin and GRRM are and does not require me to recommend them once more. I have also assumed that everyone following me has read and enjoyed the trashiest of fanfiction at some point or other.

Now, let's go.

"I want something that feels like reading the unhinged fanfiction of a 16 year old girl, but written by and for adults so the sex scenes don't make me feel deeply uncomfortable."

Oh boy. Okay. Don't worry, I've got you.

The Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. High fantasy. If you like to categorise things you will love the worldbuilding in this. Weird and gender essentialist, although not in the way you might expect.

The Merry Gentry series by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Degrades in quality over time. I would say: read the first two, and then continue at your discretion depending on your tolerance.

"Do you have a version of this that is not quite so focused on sex as worldbuilding?"

I do, I do. Not everything that reads like unhinged fanfiction must automatically contain smut.

A Deadly Education and The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik. It's billed as adult fantasy, but it reads like YA. If you like 2010s fanfiction and wish it were better written more often, you'll love these two.

Any book by Mercedes Lackey will read exactly like fanfiction. I make no comments as to technical quality, but if you like hurt/comfort idfic, you will like these. If you're looking for a zero-romance, one-book introduction to these books, I'd try Brightly Burning.

"That's still a bit too adult. I want something that's fine to read with kids, too!"

Sure! Fantasy loves YA and kids' books, haha.

The Dark Is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper. Middle grade fantasy, leaning heavily on English folklore.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn. Young adult urban fantasy. Concerned with the legacy of slavery in the US.

The Old Kingdom trilogy by Garth Nix. Young adult high fantasy. The pacing is strong, the worldbuilding is rad.

Tithe by Holly Black. Young adult fantasy. Her later books are better loved but I reread Tithe and then went and read The Cruel Prince for the first time this year and Tithe is better.

The Tortall books by Tamora Pierce. I like The Immortals, but reasonable minds will differ on this one. Middle grade high fantasy.

The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan. High fantasy, young adult.

"Okay, now I want young adult fantasy like that, but weird."

Weird. Hmm. Okay. Try:

The Tooth Fairy by Graham Joyce. Horror and fantasy, young adult, but not like... too young an adult. Give it to a 15 year old, not a 10 year old.

"That's... too weird. Put some weird back. I want something suitable for teens that's committed to the aesthetics of weirdness, but is not actually weird."

Alright, here are a couple:

Anatomy: A Love Story by Dana Schwartz. Historical fantasy, definitely young adult. The grizzly aesthetics of 19th century graverobbing are a gossamer veil over a cute, but not particularly sophisticated, YA novel.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Middle grade fantasy. Less weird than it thinks it is, but still fun to read.

"Enough kids' stuff. I want fast-moving urban fantasy!"

Urban fantasy occupies a weird nexus between fantasy and detective noir, which I'm kinda into. Here are my suggestions:

I think everyone who wants urban fantasy is probably aware of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, but I'll put it here anyway because there's a big fandom for the Dresden Files so if you stick it out for a bit you get access to all the fics. The first one will take you 3.5 hours and if you don't like it, move on — the writing doesn't really change. Also has a TV series.

The Felix Castor novels by Mike Carey. Urban fantasy, a little more grim, but definitely better written.

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. Urban fantasy. Main character is a police officer. I recently finished the first of these books and it was pretty fun, but I can't speak to the remainder of the series.

"Tozette, I fucking loved True Blood."

You're in luck, I can make this a whole category.

I bet you've heard of the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris already, but if you haven't, it's what the TV series was based on. Urban fantasy, but actually kind of rural.

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Another LKH series that starts fun and degrades rapidly. The first three are fun, they come in an omnibus. I was obsessed with this series when I was 17, which both is and isn't a recommendation. Again, this series has a large fandom.

Dime Store Magic and Industrial Magic by Kelley Armstrong. Urban fantasy. The rest of the Women of the Otherworld series is hit or miss for me, but I do recall liking No Humans Involved.

The Blood Books by Tanya Huff. Urban fantasy. Read if you've ever wished Harry Dresden was female. Also has a TV series!

"Do you have some traditional high fantasy recommendations that aren't Tolkien, Robert Jordan, GRRM, or Ursula K Le Guin? Please?"

Absolutely. Of course. One hundred per cent.

The Elenium trilogy by David & Leigh Eddings. High fantasy. Technically there's also a sequel trilogy, but it's not as good.

The First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie. High fantasy. Lots of high fantasy politics.

Urshurak by The Bros. Hildebrandt. High fantasy. Extremely Tolkien inspired but with more amazon women in metal bikinis.

The Books of Pellinor by Alison Croggon. High fantasy. There's four of them and while I wouldn't say they're my favourite books ever, I do think they're a solid, competently written high fantasy series that will stop you from contemplating the horrors of reality for at least three days.

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. High fantasy. A great rearrangement of European folklore. I struggled with the representations of women, personally, but they're well constructed stories.

"Recommend something that's fantasy but feels like a totally different genre."

Okay. I can do that. Here you go:

The Chronicles of the Crystal Singers of Ballybran by Anne McCaffrey. It's a trilogy that's set in space and therefore engages with a sci-fi kind of vibe, but if you scratch the surface, the trilogy is fantasy all the way down.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by HP Lovecraft. Horror, but also historical fantasy.

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde. The first three books of the Thursday Next series are gold, actually, but start here. This is about a literary detective living in an alternative history setting. Fantasy, but ideal for people who are going to get the rapid fire literary references.

"Tozette, what if you just recommend a single fantasy book, writer, or series, with your whole heart?"

My WHOLE heart? Okay. Here:

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, Johannes Cabal the Detective, and Johannes Cabal: the Fear Institute by Jonathan L Howard are each different subgenres of fantasy, and all three of them are absolute fucking bangers. They are the best books on this list according to me. I love them.

#books and reading #fantasy books #fantasy #fiction #book recommendations

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intrstellarhearts · 2 years ago

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the tuffest chick in tulsa - the outsiders x curtis sister!reader

fandom: the outsiders

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1094

request: yes / no

characters: reader, darry curtis, sodapop curtis, ponyboy curtis, dallas winston, johnny cade, two-bit mathews, steve randle

original request: do you mind doing the outsiders crew with a curtis sister!reader where she’s older than ponyboy but younger than soda. basically, the reader is short and the gang (except her brothers) don’t expect her to be very strong but in reality she’s really strong and does roller derby, baseball, wrestling, etc. just a little scenario or headcanons of the boy’s reactions to being shown up by a 15 yo :)

a/n: ty for this request!! i forgot how much i loved writing for the outsiders lol. just wanted to say that requests are super helpful, bc i often have writer’s block lmao. just send me an ask & i’ll write it!! (rn i have a lot of motivation to write for the outsiders, dead poets society and house md!!) again, these could be scenarios or headcanons, and can include the reader or not! the only rule i have is no nsfw :)

taglist: none right now for the outsiders!! (message me or send me an ask if you’d like to be included!!)

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“alright, c’mon ace! you can do it … go go go!!”

you bit back a smile at the loud cheers coming from your brother sodapop. a quick glance told you that he was right there, next to the dugout, with your other brother, ponyboy. you wondered if maybe darry got off of work in time to see you, but the quick call of the umpire quickly snapped your attention back to the task at hand. the sun was beating down on that hot april afternoon, and a bead of sweat came down your forehead. you adjusted your stance on home base, making sure your grip on the bat was tight. the game was tied, and you it was up to you to win. then the pitcher made his move, and there you were, swinging your bat.

“y/n! run! c’mon!!”

you were running alright. and now you ran even faster, having heard darry’s voice cheering you on. this was where you belonged, on the diamond. you could see the other team scramble for the ball, your own teammates cheering as you rounded the bases easily. one of the outfielders tried to throw the ball to the boy on third base, but it wasn’t going to phase you. gritting your teeth, you had an explosion of speed, and slid onto home base just in time. your teammates erupted into cheers as the game ended. you took off your helmet, a big grin taking over your face. you nodded to your brothers, and went over to get a drink of water.

you teammates were there to congratulate you, slapping you on the back and mussing up your hair. as the only girl on your school’s baseball team, you had quickly shown the boys that you were nothing to be messed with. growing up with three brothers, as well as the pseudo-brothers in your gang, you were way tougher than anyone thought. although, many of the boys in your gang still thought of you as fragile and delicate, despite years of showing them otherwise.

“aw, y/n, that was an AMAZING game!!” came the excited yell of your brother ponyboy as he bounded over to you, followed close behind by ponyboy and darry.

“thanks, soda.” you said, and you couldn’t hide a smile. you took a hand to your cheek, trying to wipe some of the grease paint off.

“here, use this.” darry said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a couple tissues. one glace at him told you that he had come straight from work. he looked tired, but happy. “good job, kid. now give me that bat. we need somethin’ to eat.”

“how about the dingo?” you asked, handing darry the bat and your helmet, then taking a swig of water.

“aw, y/n, i don’t wanna go to the dingo.” ponyboy said, shaking his head.

“did you hit the winnin’ run today, pony?” you grinned, nudging your younger brother. “i didn’t think so!!” you, darry, and soda began to walk away, towards the road that would get you to the diner. ponyboy hung his head, kicking the dirt on the diamond, but he followed the three of you after a moment.

the dingo wasn’t exactly the BEST place to hang out, but they could make a damn good milkshake and fries. plus, without steve there, you would finally be able to have food to yourself, instead of him stealing it all the time! it was a short walk from the diamond -- only about ten minutes. however, as you got closer, a familiar truck in the parking lot caught your eye.

“oh n-” you started, but they were already runnin’ towards you. of course the gang was here. of course. in the blink of an eye, two-bit and steve had already tackled soda and pony, and dally and johnny came over to you.

“how come your forehead has that bruise, shortcake?” dally said, leaning in to check it out. you had almost forgotten about it yourself, since it had happened earlier in the week.

“oh, nothin’, dal.”

“doesn’t look like nothin’.” johnny muttered, brow drawn with concern.

“aw, tell ‘em, y/n. it’s a good story!!” pony spoke loudly, dusting himself off as he got up, finally. you shifted your weight, suddenly seeming a bit less confident than usual.

“lemme guess.” two-bit started, and you turned to face him, an amused smile on your face. “you probably slipped or somethin’.”

“aw, lay off two. she ain’t that bad on her feet!!” steve said, punching him in the arm. the gang turned towards you expectantly, pony flashing a huge grin.

“well, i had a baseball game. not the one from today, it was a couple days ago. this guy on the other team started callin’ me names. y’know, stupid stuff. i didn’t think it would bother me. well, the ump started to tell me to shut up, all i was sayin’ was for him to stop!”

“and then what’d ya say?” johnny asked, completely invested.

“so then i get to third base. i decide not to go to home, ‘cause that would be too close of a call, y’know? so i’m on third base, and this jackass…” you quickly fixed your words after a stern look from darry. “this… guy thinks he’s all tough or somethin’. i try to go and run, but he trips me! i fell and hit my head and everything. the ump didn’t catch it, so i got up. he’s laughin’ so hard, and all i’m thinkin’ is that i wish he would shut up. so then i punched him.”

steve did a double take at that, and your smile grew.

“that shut him up pretty quickly.”

“shut him up?” pony began, excitement boiling over. “shut him up??? he was about to cry!”

“yeah!” soda agreed, illustrating by mocking the bully’s crying. “just like this. he ran off to the umpire, who totally called him on his problems.”

“hey, good for you, kid.” dallas spoke, nodding approvingly.

“wow.” johnny remarked, nodding as well.

“i didn’t even think you had it in you!!” steve spoke, messing up your hair. you made a fist to him, and he flinched.

“yeah, you better watch it randle!!” darry cleared his throat, and you put it down. “sorry.”

“maybe you should be our bodyguard from now on!” two-bit remarked, throwing an arm around your neck as you all made your way to the entrance of the dingo. “y/n curtis, the tuffest chick in tulsa!"

"and don't you forget it!" you remarked, grinning from ear to ear.

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#the outsiders #dallas winston #johnny cade #darry curtis #darrel curtis #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders x curtis sister!reader #curtis sister #dally winston #the outsiders scenario #the outsiders curtis sister #the outsiders imagines #the outsiders headcanons

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elysiumnotes · 6 months ago

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My 9-1-1 s8 Disaster Ideas/Wishlist

So I am going to spend the hiatus for 911 moving onto some of my brushed to the wayside hyperfixations now that the season’s over. Honestly after almost 15 years in fandom, I do not want to wade into the water of angsty ship wars and have already filtered out my tags and blocked certain blogs to ensure my peace.

However, I still will be thinking about my gay little wee woo show and I wanted to post my ideas, wishes, speculations, and predictions. Not necessarily in that order…..

Anyways! First things first, for this little post I wanted to speculate about what s8’s big disaster is going to be and my idea on how it could be done. (ABC if you’re lurking, please feel free to take the idea. You too, Tim. I give this idea away for free) What I think the s8 disaster is:

TORNADO / TWISTER

Now hear me out….as a Canadian, I have no clue if Tornadoes are common or even occur in places like LA. But with a dramatic ass show like 911 that has dealt with titanic-like cruise ship disaster, tsunami, earthquake, mudslides, wildfires, etc. it’s not out of the realm of possibility for them to completely the elemental set.

But moving onto how they would work it in…

I propose that it is used in the season premiere. (stick with me and imagine) LA is on Tornado watch and is hunkering down but the 118 get called to an emergency like they always do. (since it seems like their sector seems to be the entirety of LA, but I digress)

Unfortunately Captain Gerard is still the temp Captain while Bobby is out fighting the decision with the Chief. Obviously the crew does not gel with his leadership style which affects their ability to complete this rescue that’s in the path of the tornado.

Now this is where I get a little insane….Please stick with me on this….

This will be an Eddie centric 2 part premiere as he’s still reeling from Chris’s decision to go to Texas for the summer. (I refuse to have him leave completely) He’s kinda going stir crazy in an empty house now that his son’s not there. Instead of Buck being the normally reckless one, Eddie dives into the rescue against Gerard’s orders as the wind picks up. The tornado gets too close and the winds too strong that they can’t go after him safely and that cause the structure he’s in to collapse on him and knock him out.

Here’s the crazy part…

As he’s knocked out, we go into Eddie’s dreamscape consciousness that is just pretty much a 911 version retelling of the Wizard of Oz….

(I promise this will be a compelling arc)

…..which we will eventually learn is the movie he ended up watching the night before as had been having some cases of Insomnia now that Chris was gone.

Now you’re thinking, Elysium, that absolutely bonkers and how would they ever pull it off? Truthfully I don’t know how they would write but I can give the bare bones of what I imagine for it.

Eddie wakes up in weird not-version of LA after the Tornado passes to find a firetruck crushing the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ Gerard.

He’ll take the Saint Christopher medal from the body (why? I don’t know… it’s his weird dream sequence about coming to terms with his grief)

No memories/vague recollection of what he’s doing. All he knows is that he has to get back home to his soul. His family.

Eventually he is found by ‘Glinda the Good Witch’ Evan ‘’Buck’ Buckley, who gives him a goal to work towards and solid advice to find the great wizard (Bobby) who should be able to grant his wish.

Obviously he will be joined by Hen & Chim as companions, each searching for their own thing. (not to be one-to-one with the Tin Man & Lion, but Hen’s thing would be about courage to fight the councilwoman and get Mara back. Chim looking for the heart could be maybe thinking about having more kids once Mara is back with Henren. You stuff like like that, idk)

Dealing with the Witch Gerard and the flying monkeys (which would be all the obstacles that the 118 face, grief about Shannon, unresolved catholic guilt, his parents taking his kid, etc)

Finally Eddie will make it to the Wizard (Bobby), the man he conflated and put on pedestal because the Good Witch Buck, who sees Bobby as his his father figure (which is a good thing don’t get me wrong), also did. Only to realize Bobby is also just a man like him, his true foil (narratively this would be made clear to the audience using flashbacks) who like him, only became grand because his pushed himself to work for it even through his grief and bad moments.

What Eddie realizes is that he was looking for his way back home to his perfect life and family, to a Chris who won’t currently be there. And that destroying himself to wait for him to come back won’t fix the issue. Glinda will also help him with this.

He realizes that the way to make amends is to do like Bobby and put the effort into that change. He going to make his home a comfortable space for Chris again, so when he does come back, he knows that things will be different. He’ll take time for himself to properly grieve Shannon (and get more therapy, god!) and take the space to delve into some self-discovery whole were at it.

Then he’ll wake up from being knocked out by his team, not including Gerard, once the Tornado is gone. Maybe they go back to the station after a checkup at the hospital and Bobby comes back saying he’s reinstated and Gerard is gone. (I’m not really planning for this stuff)

Now, I’m obviously missing some characters in this dream sequence but I don’t know where they would fit. And I’m avoiding some big sexuality and romantic notions in regards to Eddie.

Trust that I know and I want it too, but I also want to avoid the ship wars this summer. So I’ll leave it vague, even though to me the idea of Eddie being Dorothy is very explicit in what arc I want for him.

Let me know what you would cast the other 911 character as in this version of Oz. Also thank you for indulging my crazy idea. I’ll be back with more.

Also #RaviMainS8!

#911 abc #911 on abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #hen wilson #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #ravi panikkar #911 spoilers #this is just for fun #and mostly just my space to talk about the stupid idea in my head #buddie #Elysiumnotes bullshit wishlist

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silly-litttle-writer · 7 months ago

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I have feelings about Aegon and since we’re all waiting for season two I’m gonna rant for a bit.

…

I’d like to talk about Alicent in the Green trailer saying something along the lines of “do you understand how much has been sacrificed to get you on the throne?” to Aegon and how low key manipulative that line is.

She knows Aegon doesn’t care about the throne but he does care about being burdensome to his family and that’s why the line most likely weighs heavily on him, we don’t quite know how he reacts from it but from the little bit in the trailer the line does affect him.

This is Aegon having to literally be dragged to his own coronation! This is Aegon trying to flee to Essos to avoid a war over the throne he doesn’t want or feel he is worthy of and ALICENT HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT TO HIM?! HE DIDNT WANT THIS! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO AVOID ALL OF IT BECAUSE HE HATED THE IDEA OF TAKING THE THRONE SO MUCH HE WAS WILLING TO GIVE UP BEING A PRINCE! HE DIDNT ASK FOR ANY OF IT AND YOU’RE GOING TO USE THAT TO EMOTIONALLY HURT HIM?! Like I’m grateful the show is showing that side of her cause that is book accurate Alicent but I hattttteeee how Aegon is treated in the show and by the fandom.

I hatttteee that certain characters are deemed sympathetic and oh no poor them (Viserys) while others are not graced with an ounce of sympathy or most importantly empathy (Aegon). Is Viserys entirely bad? No, I hate him but I do not believe he has no redeeming qualities. He loved Aemma and he unfortunately realized his greed for a son was less important far too late, after he killed his wife for a son, does he love Rhaenyra and (sometimes, it’s rare cause Viserys is a coward by nature) stand up for her? Yes, but he is far less sympathetic than CHILD (say whatever you want about adult Aegon but child Aegon deserves none of what he is given) Aegon in my mind I will take no criticism on that. Viserys actively created the toxic environment he is surrounded by, if he’s suffering it’s of his own making. Aegon was a child for a bit of this nonsense and had absolutely no control over what happened around him.

Aegon is the son VISERYS FORCED TO EXIST. He manipulated (softly which is why people like Viserys more than like Larys Strong for example) but he still MANIPULATED (show Alicent not book Alicent cause book Alicent is the one who seduces him and manipulates him) Alicent into marrying him at 15, forcing her to have his children as she can’t deny her husband AND THE LITERAL KING. He wanted a son so badly he carved his first wife up to try to save the son that was killing her, this failed and so he forced Alicent to give him that son and then ONCE AEGON IS NO LONGER CUTE OR EASY TO LOVE HE TOSSES HIM ASIDE. He becomes completely and utterly absent in Aegon’s life and that’s not even talking about how little he cares about Helaena, Aemond, or Daeron, Daeron who was literally shipped off to another part of the continent. He does not care for Aegon, he doesn’t guide him, does not instruct him and teach him the ways of the world. Instead Aegon is stuck with having to rely on Criston “I bash in people’s skulls cause I can’t control my anger and I can’t get over the girl I fucked ten years ago” Cole and Otto “I view women as literal incubators for sons” Hightower, alongside Alicent “I’m a hypocritical coward who will damn and literally terrorize any woman who tries to find a way to cheat the patriarchal society instead of using my power as Queen to make my children’s lives better than my own” Hightower. These same people teach and raise him. One, they teach him to not regulate or handle his emotions. Two, they frequently and repeatedly beat and verbally insult him for just saying I don’t want to challenge my sister for a throne that isn’t mine. Three, teaches him and enables the toxic and sexist mentality perpetrated by the society that they live in that women are things to use and abuse by men and that consent does not matter to him because he is not only a man but a prince and she has no real right to deny him.

Why do you think Aegon grows to be an abuser? Because he was never taught anything else. His bad behavior was enabled or even encouraged, with only slight punishment from the same woman who literally paid his victim hush money to not tell people that her son forced himself on her. She stands there telling the girl her son forced himself on that “I understand” and “It’s not your fault” and then LITERALLY PAYS HER HUSH MONEY TO SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND GIVES HER WESTEROSI BIRTH CONTROL! THEREFORE ENABLING AND ALLOWING THAT BEHAVIOR AND SHE ACTS LIKE SHE HAD NO PART TO PLAY IN WHY HER SON BECAME AN ABUSER!

He is exactly your son. He is the son you chose to raise. Aegon wasn’t born like this, YOU MADE HIM LIKE THIS AND THEN DESPISE AND CURSE HIM FOR IT. He never had a chance to be anything else, he was doomed from the start and that is why I empathize more with Aegon than Viserys. Do I feel bad that Aegon was slapped and called out for forcing himself on a girl? No, he should have been properly punished. He should have been punished for that kind of behavior a LONG time ago. But that’s exactly the problem, Alicent doesn’t punish him for this behavior and then gets upset when he continues doing it. You created the “monster” in front of you and then are shocked when he does monstrous things. You made your own bed and now you refuse to lie in it and instead choose to frequently and repeatedly abuse, terrorize, and antagonize those who refuse to participate (Rhaenyra) in the system that turned you into a victim and your son into an abuser.

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the-blue-eyed-firebender · 5 months ago

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Hi!

Have I ever told you this? (Probably! But I'll say it again, ha) It's been an absolute treat reading your Royai fics. Thank you for joining this fandom!

What are your inspirations? 😃 In terms of writing style, but also ideas, etc. Please indulge us all, and please do geek out about your writing process too!

I always love learning about how fan fic writers work and write!

Thank you, and I hope you have a lovely day~

Hey there!

You are so kind. It's hard to put into words how much it means to have had such a lovely reception from the FMA fandom. I used to write a lot when I was a kid, but eventually stopped due to some unfortunate and painful circumstances. Writing for this fandom over the last couple of months has been an incredible journey. It has healed some very intrinsic parts of me that I’d forgotten were wounded, and I have written more in the last few months than I have in 15+ years.

So, first and foremost, thank YOU.

Inspirations: I've always been a lover of fantasy and science fiction. My very first fandom was Star Wars, followed shortly thereafter by Avatar: The Last Airbender. Recently, I've become a huge Sarah J. Maas fan (I read ALL of her books in the year 2023 - minus the new one that came out in January). I've also enjoyed Suzanne Collins and Leigh Bardugo (particularly her Six of Crows duology).

But really, I just love stories. I love adventure, magic, and romance. I look for complex characters, vibrant worlds, strong magic systems, and rich backstories. My favorites always involve women who embody strength (mental, physical, and emotional), capable leadership, and femininity. Characters who are equal parts war-like and compassionate, fearsome yet soft.

But my very best inspiration comes from real-life: my sweet husband. It's going to sound silly, but I feel like I write about true love because I've experienced it. This guy was 100% written by a woman (lol). He's read everything I've written, and provides the most wonderful feedback and encouragement.

As far as style/process, I feel like I am still developing it? Haha! It's only been a minute since I got back into writing. But it usually starts with daydreaming to music (often songs without lyrics; Secession Studies is a favorite), typically while I'm in the car. With my first FMA fic, The Counteroffer, I was listening to "Beautiful Things" by Benson Boone on repeat. Something about the way he sings "Please stay / I want you, I need you, oh God" really set the tone for that story. That, combined with inspiration from the infamous Chapter 54 of A Court of Mist and Fury.

There's usually an moment or a line of dialogue that pops into my brain first (for The Counteroffer, it was Hawkeye lifting the discharge paperwork to find Mustang has also given her an unsigned marriage certificate). I write that bit, then the rest of the story sort of fills in around it. I write in disjointed fragments, adding chunks here and there and then connecting them together. Sometimes I shuffle things around, moving chunks to different locations in the story to see how it changes the flow.

Beginnings, endings, and titles are usually the hardest for me to come up with.

And here's a few of my own patterns that I've started to notice:

I love stories that read with a poetic beat to them (I think the best example of this in my own work is Hourglass).

I use line breaks for emphasis a lot.

I am intentional about keeping things concise but impactful. When it comes to word count, my personal rule is quality > quantity, always.

I try not to use "said/says" without other descriptive words.

If a portion of the story is dialogue driven, I'll read it aloud to make sure it actually flows like real conversation.

I often drop "and" from sentences when I feel like it messes with the poetic flow ("She became familiar with the space between heartbeats, the squeeze of the trigger, the wet sound of a bullet finding its mark." - Hourglass).

In the same vein, I use a sort of "rule of threes" quite a bit. I break sentences into three parts, offer three descriptions of a character's observation/sensation/emotion, repeat the same phrase three times, etc. (Oh look, I've done it again.)

I write in third person, present tense, always from the perspective of one character at a time. I feel like this puts myself and the reader right in the middle of the action, as it's happening. I dive deep into the primary character's thoughts and senses, both internal and external.

I re-read/re-watch the original content (i.e. FMAB, the manga) often, even if it's just in small parts. It keeps me grounded to who these characters are, and prevents me from going OOC. It's so easy to lose track of characterization if it's been too long since I watched an episode or read a chapter.

Hoo boy this got long. Thanks so much for the delightful ask! It was a lot of fun to dive into my own writing process and habits.

#writers on tumblr #ask me anything #royai #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #fullmetal alchemist #fanfiction #fanfic #fmab #fma #royai fanfiction #royai fic #ao3 writer #writeblr #creative writing #writer stuff #writing #writerscommunity #ask

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laugtherhyena · 3 months ago

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What are some of you're favourite Sprite edits you've made Whether that be this year, or any over years you've been in the sprite editing business

Ok so I've made A LOT of edits over the years so it took a lil while for me to sort out the favorites and why exactly, but here it is so get ready for some rambling!

First things first i gotta say this isn't really organized from the one i like the most and least, i like all of these edits a whole lot and i really don't think i can pick one or two to be the favorite.

So let's start from the start (sorta) i have to give a spot to my Fantasy Au twins edits, it would be illegal to not put them in this list

The Sdra2 Fantasy Au was one of the first things i made in the fandom and i was attached to it for a long while. These are actually the 4th version of their sprites, out of all them only the 3rd had a full gallery of sprites and trust me they were complex since on top of posting i even made different tails and ears to move around depending on the emotion of the sprite.

Even tho i never finished this 4th take on them I'm pretty happy with the redesign (since as i grew older i realized some of my choices were questionable and i really should have thought more before just going with it, just keep in mind i was a dumb 14-15 year old then) and the improvement on graphical quality because not only does it show how much i improved in editing but also because editing the fantasy twins were my first really hard edits and i was always happy with how well i was able to translate their weird little designs to sprite form.

The Fantasy Au as a whole had a lot of edits with a bunch of complicated details that i never finshed and although I don't like them as much as the twins i do feel like they deserve to be shown somehere so have this pile of lizards, undead firemen and two human girls.

(fun fact; i didn't know how to add textures back then so see those scales on the dragons? I made them all by hand-)

Next one on the list has gotta be the Nijiue siblings! Crazy to think these guys are only 2-3 years old like it feels like they've been with me for ao much longer!

These guys where my first try at making Oc sprites since before all i did were Au stuff and they're very very dear to me, as you can probably guess by the amount of spites an different iterations i made of them over the years. While there are a few things i could improve upon them if i were to remake their edits nowadays, i never felt a strong need to do so because as it is their sprites hold up well imo so remaking them feels unnecessary to me.

And you know I can't really talk about them without mentioning the Voidswap Au and a couple tumblr blogs owned by friends of mine. After Voidswap's cancelation i didn't thought I'd ever use these guys for anything so to think that nowadays there's so many people who not only know these characters but care for them a lot out of seeing them in Asoot and Dfta more recently really fills me with joy! I'm glad y'all enjoy my silly siblings so much and obviously huge thanks to the mods for wanting to include them in their stories, I really couldn't be more thankful for that!

And since we're talking about the fam, let me add Mako to the list as an honorable mention of sorts, a i'm still very happy with how i made her adult designs especially the whole closed trenchcoat and open trenchcoat thing she has going on and how i was able to cary out the heart motif on both of them :]

This next one is one of my newer edits + a pretty simple one which is this Irl Sora design i made for mod Bubbles around early this year.

Honestly, I don't even know how to explain why i like it this much? Maybe it's because Sora is one of the characters from Sdra2 i still decently enjoy or because i had a fun time coming up with her design. I had in mind that i wanted something plain and simple just like her in-game one, just adapted to a more adult look. Rolled up sleeves to resemble her uniform's ones and a scarf to bring back the spark of red her old design had, i also gave her the short hair that post game Yuki has because it's still her body at the end of the day + i think butch-ish Sora looks pretty good :]

From simplicity we jump back into weirdness with these last ones because obviously i wouldn't leave my girls out of this list, what did you guys even expect?

Favoritism? Absolutely, by now I'm sure all of you know how much i like these two but focusing on the graphical side for once, I'm super proud of their designs, i think they fit with the weirdness of some of Linuj's design choices pretty well which in turn makes them look kinda legit? In my head at least. I also had a lot of fun working on their sprites, especially Beni's since it had been a long while since i last tried to really exaggerate expressions on sprites of my characters so that was really fun! + I'm super proud of the baby sprites i made of them too, almost as much as i like their standard/adult designs really.

#btw for those that want to take a look at my sprite galleries. good news! i plan on making the folder public #sometime in the future #so look forward to that i guess #hyena ramblings #sprite #sprite editing #dra #sdra2 #oc #fankid #nijiue family #nijiue siblings

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teamfreewill2pointo · 1 month ago

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Hmm...I wonder if the failure of the spin offs is because of the lack of J2 or just lack of the dynamic duo Sam and Dean. I can see in a few years maybe Supernatural might get a remake, especially because in the last several years studios have been enjoying remaking and or rebooting existing IPs (probably because it's easier then paying someone for an original concept lol). Also I think if a hypothetical reboot explicitly confirmed and catered to Destiel it would do a lot better then the other spin offs by miles. Although I'm not sure how J2 would feel about a scenario where randoms took over Sam and Dean though 😅

Anon 2: If Warner Brothers did a total reboot I think it would be successful if it included: The brothers together (duh) Hot younger actors Confirmed bi Dean Strong possibility (if not definite) Dean/Castiel The SPN writers were always tuned into the fandom and if someone decided to make a new SPN it's not unlikely they'd take note as well. Plus attitudes towards portraying queer romances in media are a lot different now then the 00's. Also I think the spin offs were set up to fail, not intentionally, but regardless if Jared and Jensen were in them they would've still failed. The Winchesters was firstly about characters the audience wasn't particularly invested in (especially considering the amount of other characters there are in SPN) but secondly we already know the entire story of John and Mary in detail from 15 seasons of SPN. Wayward Sisters needed more fleshing out before they tried launching it by itself, it come off as haphazard. Neither of these things would of been fixed if both Jared and Jensen had been involved. I think whatever Jared and Jensen do together with SPN going forward will likely do better, less so because it has to have both of them or it will flop, but because they will actally take their time and not rush it (unlike Wayward Sisters) and it will be a story we haven't heard and seen before in SPN (unlike The Winchesters). SPN could easily be a franchise without relying on Sam and Dean but the only time when Warner Brothers or whoever is running things, actually puts in the time and effort for a decent story it's for Jared and Jensen. If that same time and effort was extended for a complete SPN reboot or even other character spin offs, I think it would work, no Jared and Jensen needed. That said don't think a complete SPN reboot is even getting thought by anybody, not for like, at least a decade... or whenever Warner Brothers get to a point they are desperate for ideas.

A huge portion of the GA is conservatives and the country is growing more conservative in general, so I don't think confirming or catering to Destiel would help the chances of a spinoff, but rather the opposite.

Supernatural is an IP that makes a lot of money and I hear the problem isn't WBD, which would be more than happy for a reboot.

#supernatural #spn #spn revival #spn reboot #reboot #revival

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whumperofworlds · 1 month ago

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Whumptober 2024 Days 6/15: Heroics

Now on AO3!

TAGS: @gala1981 @whumptober-archive @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @rebelxwriter @expressionless-fr

@fourwingedsnake @whumble-beeee @whumpninja @kingxlinkwrites

CWs: blood, unconsciousness, near death, argument, food mention, male whumpee, male caretaker, whumpee x caretaker.

FANDOM: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles

A/N: Nothing to say here, let's roll!

I only own Gulru, Rae, and Ambra. Everything else belongs to Square Enix.

ENJOY!

_____

Unhealthy coping mechanisms / healed wrong / "It's not my blood."

Painful hug / moment of clarity / "I did good, right?"

Gulru nearly screamed when Rae entered their shared home, covered in blood. Immediately, Gulru jumped from his bed and rushed towards his boyfriend, gently taking his shoulders as if Rae was a fragile vase. He studied over his body, noting the cuts and bruises on his beloved's skin.

Rae, as usual, however, smiled with a shrug, knowing what Gulru was thinking.

"Don't worry, Gully," he said, "it's not my blood. See?" He held up an arm for Gulru to see. While the green blood indeed wasn't Rae's, the fact that some of it was close to his cuts worried Gulru. If he didn't get his wounds taken care of and get himself cleaned up, they would be infected.

"Here…" Gulru whispered gently, taking Rae's hand and leading him to the rocking chair. He gently helped Rae sit down, as Gulru went towards the bathroom to gather some medicine. When he came back, he saw that Rae tried to get back on his feet. Immediately, Gulru rushed forward to force him to sit back down. "Pl-please don't move. You'll make your wounds worse."

"But I still have some heroics to do!" Rae whined, "Someone's in trouble out there, and I have to help them!"

"But you…" Gulru gulped, unsure of what to say to his beloved. He hated to create an argument, even though Gulru was in the right here. He knew Rae for many years; the Clavat always wanted to be a hero, and after the miasma was gone, Rae had been going out to defeat monsters lately. To be a hero, he said.

"What?" Rae questioned as Gulru used a Cure spell on Rae's wounds. The wounds closed up, as he glanced at his Yuke with worry in his eyes. "What's going on, Gully?"

"...I…" Gulru stuttered, as he took a bandage and wrapped it around Rae's arm. The blood began to seep through it, making him cringe.

Gulru wasn't sure what to do in this situation. Should he tell Rae to stop? No. It wouldn't be fair if he did that. Rae loved to be a hero, and it would hurt Rae if he told him to stop. But the worry remained. What if Rae never came home from his heroics? What would Gulru do if that ever happened?

"...Never mind," Gulru shook his head. "Just… promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

Rae nodded with a smile. "Of course I'm careful, Gully. I'm strong after all! I know my way around a fight."

"...Yes, you do," Gulru said, knowing that Rae was right. Rae, during the caravan years ago, was always the one to take charge. While his best friend, Ambra, protested that, Rae always proved himself by defeating anything or anyone that got in his way.

"So Gully," Rae said, as he stretched, "what's for dinner tonight? I'm starving after my heroic deeds."

"Oh!" Gulru said, "Y-yes, I was getting ready to cook some pork chops for you."

"Oh swell!" Rae said, perking up, "I'll go ahead and get cleaned up then. Thanks, Gully, you're the best!" He stood from the chair, pecking Gulru on the nose, before he went into the bathroom to clean up.

Gulru let out a sigh. Hopefully that Rae understood what he was getting into, and that he was more careful in the future.

____

Every day, without fail, Rae came home covered in blood and injuries, and Gulru had to patch him up. It was routine at this point; Gulru was still worried over his beloved, especially when he came home a few times tired. However, Gulru kept his mouth shut—he knew better than to tell Rae to stop. It would break the Clavat's heart if he did so.

Today, however, he wished he had said something.

As he sat on the rocking chair, reading a book, Ambra bursted through the door, tears welling up in her eyes as she heaved a few deep breaths. Gulru jumped when his friend appeared, and upon seeing how distressed she was, his concerns grew. Not only that, but Rae hadn't come home yet. Did that mean…?

"Rae's hurt!" Ambra sobbed, "H-he came back, and he's hurt badly! The healers said they don't know if he'll make it!"

Gulru's eyes would be wide by now if he had them. His heart nearly stopped in shock, as he stood up so fast he felt dizzy for a second. The book was forgotten as he rushed out with Ambra to the town's infirmary.

Gulru never thought he could run so quickly, but knowing that Rae was likely dying, he ran as fast as he could. Within a minute, he arrived at the infirmary. Many healers, a few he didn't recognize from around Tipa, were gathered around, using their White Magic to heal someone. Some were speaking loudly, as Gulru's nerves grew as his body shook.

He tried to push past the healers, but one of them stopped him.

"Sir," she said, "you can't come near him. We're working on him now."

"B-b-but…" Gulru whimpered, "he needs me! What if I never get to say goodbye to him if he dies? What if—"

"He should be fine," the healer hushed him gently, "we're doing everything we can to save him. Barging in like this could distract us. Please, sir, wait outside."

As the woman talked, Gulru spotted Rae, and his heart dropped at the pitiful sight, and his mouth would be gaped open if he had one. Tears pricked at the corners of his eye holes.

Rae's body was full of cuts and bruises, with one injury a huge gash on his chest—chances were the slash hit his heart. His eyes were closed, as if he was in a peaceful sleep, and his breathing was labored as another healer used a Cure spell on him.

It was the worst state Gulru had ever seen Rae in. Much worse than the few times he came home injured.

Tears fell then, as his heart broke. But anger—an unusual emotion he very rarely had—began to bubble inside him. Anger at Rae for putting himself in that position, and at himself for not saying anything.

With a sigh to calm himself down, he left the room, where Ambra waited for him. Gulru took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down, but the anger and fear remained.

"Gulru…?" Ambra questioned, tilting her head. She had never seen Gulru like this before. What was going on?

"...I'll be fine," Gulru whispered, so low that Ambra barely heard it. He turned his head to the side in an attempt to hide the tears from his friend. Thankfully, Ambra didn't question it, as she glanced at the door to the infirmary with a frown.

As they waited outside, Gulru glanced up at the sky—he never prayed before, but he did so in his mind. He prayed for Rae to be okay. He prayed for Rae to be alive.

He didn't want to lose him again like last time.

____

One of the healers met with the two outside, breathing a sigh as she wiped off the blood from her hands. Gulru perked up then, his heart racing. Without warning, he began asking without breathing.

"Is Rae okay? Is he still alive?! Please tell me—"

"He'll be fine," the healer answered him in a relieved tone.

Gulru's heart began to slow, as the sweat that was beading down his helm cooled on the metal. He breathed a huge sigh of relief when he processed those words. His Rae was still alive. Thank Cosmos.

"He is quite lucky," the healer explained, "if the gash on his chest was deeper, he would be dead on the spot."

Anger began to boil inside Gulru again. Rae was indeed lucky—he shouldn't have made him and Ambra worry about him that much. If only he said something. If only Rae listened…

Ambra met with the two, her eyes red from her crying for a few hours. Wiping away another tear, she asked, "Can we see him?"

"Of course," she said with a nod. "Only one person though. He still needs the rest."

Gulru glanced at Ambra as she did the same. While the two were indeed worried for Rae, they knew that they had to follow the healer's orders.

"You can go ahead, Gulru," Ambra whispered.

"What?" Gulru questioned, "A-are you sure, Ambra? I know you're just as worried over him as I am, but…"

"I can tell you need to talk to him," Ambra pointed out. "I can wait until you're done." She gently pushed him towards the door to the infirmary. "Go ahead. Talk to him."

Gulru merely nodded; while he wished he could ask her how she knew that they needed to talk, he decided not to think about it. Ambra could read people well, and Gulru knew that.

He entered the infirmary, cringing when he spotted his beloved. While his wounds were mostly healed, Rae still looked like he ran into a hurricane and got hurt trying to fight it. Bandages wrapped around his chest, arms, and legs, and Gulru could see red bleeding through them.

His anger grew. But he held back. Rae already went through enough today. This was just a visit.

"...Hello," Gulru greeted hesitantly.

Rae perked up when he heard his beloved's voice, before turning his head. He smiled, but Gulru could see how strained it was due to the pain. "...Hey Gulru."

"What happened out there?" Gulru questioned, unsure if that was the right move.

"Oh, just a bunch of monsters outnumbered me and got me," Rae said with a shrug, as if it was an everyday occurrence. Gulru couldn't help but feel his anger grow. Why was Rae treating this like some everyday thing? "But I beat them! I did good, right?"

"..." Gulru wasn't sure what to say to that. He held his anger back, but every second, it grew to a boiling point. Rae… seeing Rae like this due to his recklessness angered him. Why couldn't he listen to him? Why couldn't he be careful like what Gulru said?

"...Right?" Rae asked, tilting his head when he noticed Gulru's silence. What was wrong?

"...No." Gulru whispered, his voice barely audible.

"Huh?" Rae asked, "What's up, Gully?"

"...No," Gulru growled, tears bubbling in his eye holes as his anger began to spill over. "You didn't do good."

"Wha—" Rae gasped, as if taken aback by Gulru's honesty. "What do you—"

"I asked you to be careful, and you didn't!" Gulru screamed, as the tears fell. "You scared me! You scared Ambra! You scared everyone with your recklessness! Why can't you think for yourself instead of nearly dying?! Don't you realize that you have people like me who worry over you?!"

"Gul—" Rae tried to protest gently, shocked that his beloved was screaming. He never saw Gulru this angry before, and it frightened him.

"Shut up!" Gulru yelled, "Stop with your heroics and be more selfish for once in your life!"

Silence reigned between the two, with Rae's eyes wide in shock and his mouth agape. Gulru froze, realizing what he had done. He didn't mean to scream at Rae; he wanted to let him know that what he was doing scared the Yuke.

"...Gulru," Rae whispered, "I-I didn't—"

Gulru, with tears still falling down his helm, fled the infirmary, slamming the door closed as he left. The last thing Rae heard from Gulru was the Yuke's sobbing.

Rae frowned, tears bubbling in his eyes as well as guilt raised inside him. What had he done? Why did he hurt his beloved? It was all his fault, and now Gulru didn't want anything to do with him now because he was an idiot.

He sniffled, shuffling in his bed as he turned on his side, his back facing the door. He couldn't hold in the sob that crept up in his throat, as he cried himself to sleep.

____

Rae shivered as the night air bit his skin, and he curled up into a ball to get rid of the cold that swept in the room. He sniffled, his eyes red from the tears he had cried hours ago. The guilt was eating him alive—he hurt his Gulru because he didn't listen to him. And now Gulru was nowhere to be found. He wished that he could go and apologize to him, but he knew that he couldn't leave the infirmary until a few days later. His wounds still need healing, and if he moved, he would end up reopening them.

He sighed, realizing that he couldn't sleep like this. Why did the infirmary have such thin blankets? He couldn't sleep like this—

Warmth suddenly hit him as a heavy blanket fell on his body. He blinked, glancing at the blanket that came out of nowhere. He recognized it; it was his blanket from his home. But where—

He slowly turned, and spotted Gulru standing beside his bed. The Yuke's helm was still wet, as if he had cried for hours.

The two stared at each other for a moment, before Gulru finally broke the silence.

"I-I figured you would be cold," Gulru whispered, "so I brought your favorite blanket."

"Gulru…" Rae trailed off, the shock not wearing off. Gulru came back? But why? Rae was a selfish idiot.

"I-I'm sorry for waking you," Gulru stuttered, backing away, "I-I'll let you sleep. Goodnight, Rae—"

"Wait."

Gulru froze in his tracks, glancing down at Rae. Rae turned on his side, careful not to jostle his wounds.

"...I'm sorry." Rae whispered. "You were right that I was selfish. I grew up wanting to be a hero, and instead, I hurt you and everyone around me because of my recklessness." He sniffled, wiping away a stray tear. "I'll stop from now on. I'm sorry for scaring you and everyone else like that."

"N-no," Gulru began, shaking his head. "P-please don't give up your heroics. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Gulru…?" Rae questioned. Why was he sorry? He didn't do anything wrong—he had every right to call Rae out.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, and… I'm sorry for not speaking up," Gulru continued. "If I had said something, you wouldn't have gotten hurt this bad. I was so worried that if I said something, you would be upset. But I ended up hurting you, instead. I-I love you, Rae, and I hate to see you hurt, emotionally and physically." He sniffled, unable to look at Rae in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, love," Rae reassured. "Even if you had said something, I wouldn't have listened. I'm at fault here for scaring you like that. It wasn't fair to you or to everyone around me. So… I'll stop."

"It isn't fair to give up on something you love, either," Gulru pointed out. "Just… please be more careful? For my sake? I could even come with you to help you. I'm more than happy to protect you like how you protected me."

Rae smiled slightly, nodding. "Of course. I'm sorry, Gulru. For this and for everything else."

"I'm sorry too, Rae."

Gulru approached, and Rae sat up carefully. With one wing, Gulru held his beloved close, as Rae held him back with one arm. Feeling the warmth from the Clavat made Gulru's guilt fade away. Everything was okay. Rae was okay.

"I love you, Gully." Rae whispered.

"I love you too, Rae." Gulru whispered back.

Gulru visited Rae in the infirmary until he was healed enough to do what he loved; being a hero. This time, Gulru was with him, making sure that Rae wouldn't get hurt on his watch. The two grew closer since then, with a few people calling them the "dynamic duo" due to their fighting prowess together.

#whumptober2024 #no. 3 #“It's not my blood”#“i did good right?”#final fantasy crystal chronicles #fic #blood #near death #unconscious #argument #my whump stories #gulru #rae #male whumpee #male caretaker #whumpee x caretaker

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cfr749 · 8 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the wonderfully kind and lovely @coraclavia. If you haven't checked out her work, go do it right now!!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 354,235

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Rookie!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Beneath Your Beautiful... queue Isn't it ironic by Alanis Morissette 😬

Want You to Stay

However Do You Want Me

One Time Thing

Lucy's Little Secret

5. Do you respond to comments?

I absolutely try to, but sometimes I get behind. Tbh I usually want to respond the minute I see one come in, but don't want to scare anyone lmao. But I read every single one, often multiple times. And you might just get a response from me two years later 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh man... I think this has to be We Built Sandcastles, because I have yet to give it an ending and it hurts me too. I'm so sorry. 😭

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm gonna go with However Do You Want Me... what's happier than banging on an airplane to save the world?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really... thankfully, 99.9% of the interaction I've had on my fics has been positive and that's a testament to how wonderfully supportive this fandom is of its creators 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup... the horny kind? Lol... queue Lovin on Me by Jack Harlow. I am pretty vanilla, and I do usually focus a lot on the emotional aspects over the physical. I also generally prefer writing the foreplay over the actual tactics of banging, but I try.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Lol... well... one time when I was 13 I may have written an AU where Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter were normal boys attending the same high school 😂...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully, I don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so, but any time someone does comment on one of my fics in another language, I am just honored and blown away that they found it entertaining enough to work through the language barrier.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Want You to Stay with the amazing @poppypickle. I will always be so thankful that the Chenford fandom brought us together, and so grateful for that creative experience. Truly one of the coolest things I've ever done. ❤️

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I think Chenford still holds this crown.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

We Built Sandcastles, but I actually haven't written anything I've truly given up on. I still think about this universe and write down bits and pieces here and there. I'm also still working on Beneath Your Beautiful!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weird reality TV AUs? Sexual tension? Feelings?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably too much exposition / time in the character's heads spelling out their motivations vs. letting readers come to their own conclusions.

I'm not always consciously aware of it in my own writing, but sometimes I suspect I'm a little sappier than what I'd normally I prefer to read.

Also I'm slow and sometimes leave my readers hanging for extremely long periods of time (I'm so sorry).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the context, but, for me, I'd have a hard time without a native speaker to consult with. No strong feelings against it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

BSB + NSYNC

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet, which is Cruel Summer because that fic was utterly batshit, came out of literally nowhere, and was so much fun to write!

Thanks for the tag, Cora!

I am tagging @poppypickle @queseraone @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @rememberthismomentx @thisnightissparkling089 @makeitastrength and @summerongrand (apologies if y'all have already done this and I missed it)!

#chenford fanfic #my asks #see lana ramble #chenford fanfiction #chenford fic #writers ask game #fanfic #fanfiction

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imabillyami · 1 month ago

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Who are the moots you'd love to meet irl?? 😆

I‘m gonna lead with a bit of an explanation of how things worked for me in the past, just to put it into context a bit:

I’ve formed some really great connections via tumblr over the past 15 years (oh my god I can’t believe I’ve been here for about 15 years 😭) in many different fandoms and I’ve met up with a lot of current or former mutuals in that time, some of whom are now my closest friends irl.

I know that’s not for everyone, but for me it’s always been easier to form connections online first before taking the plunge into real life meetings and friendships. I’m not great at connecting with or getting to know people I meet in my day to day life, so doing it online has always been my preferred way and feels safe in a way. I’m not very good at talking to total strangers or at first impressions, so knowing someone from talking online already gives me that extra level of security and courage.

Some close relationships have never progressed past the online stage cause either I wasn’t comfortable or the other person wasn’t and I respect that and so did the other people involved.

Whenever I’ve met up with someone it’s never been about ‘oh this is a friendship dealbreaker to me’, but always been a ‘this feels organic and feels like the natural progression and logical next step in our friendship’. And sometimes it was just a ‘you’re gonna be there? oh cool, me too. let me know if you wanna meet!’. That being said I also have online friendships that have lasted for almost 10 years and are still going strong that never involved anything but texting.

But yeah. In my experience it’s never been awkward and I’ve never had a weird silence with anyone I’ve met up with. Simply because it was based on long term conversations and/or good vibes we’ve shared before. I’d also like to think that once you really get to know me like that, I’m just very easy and comfortable to be around.

So yeah. I’ve traveled with (former) moots, I’ve visited people (after having met up at conventions and concerts and in other settings previously -> remember: always meet in a public setting with plenty of people around first, just to be sure and for your own safety), I’ve had people visit my home, I’ve spent birthdays and Christmases and vacations with them. It’s how I have friends all over the world these days anywhere I go basically.

My longest lasting friendship that started on tumblr as an online friendship and survived offline to this day/ has been going strong for 10+ years now. We don’t live in the same country, but I’ve visited her, she’s visited me, we vacationed together and I met her husband, kid and all her extended family.

I met my best friend through tumblr as well, working on a fan project/managing a fan account together for a couple of years. Again, not living in the same country, but we meet up whenever we can, we traveled and had plenty of incredible experiences together over the years and other than that we video-chat and text a lot.

I even met my local bestie (though she recently moved away from here) via fandom/tumblr. We talked online a bunch, met up at a couple of conventions and she ended up helping me find an apartment and a job and opening her home to me for a while where I live now. I’m seeing her for Christmas.

And that’s just three of the amazing connections I formed here.

So this being said, I know the kind of amazing relationships that can come from tumblr and sharing fandom experiences and the same interests. But I also know that different people have different boundaries, so I’d never wanna pressure someone into meeting me or would react badly if they said they didn’t want to. I’m very much an introvert, some would even say a hermit these days, but I become a situational extrovert when I’m around the right people.

Just putting that out there, so the people I’m about to mention don’t feel awkward about it or feel any need to ‘let me down slowly’ or something like that.

I’m European-based and lots of the people I’d love to meet are on different continents, so that’s always a but difficult.

I recently met up with someone from the Wrestling fandom at Bash in Berlin and we had the best time, but that was a bit easier, cause they are European as well.

And I met up with a moot/friend from Brazil once when we were both in Paris at the same time. But that’s currently the only way for me to see people from other continents, cause while I traveled and explored a lot in my early 20s and had a job that supported that lifestyle, that’s not the case anymore. So yeah. Meeting people is more of a theoretical thing at the moment.

Anyyyyway. Long ramble you didn’t ask for. But I like putting things into context, so there are no misunderstandings of any kind.

That being said I have a bunch of people/moots who are really dear to me and who I’d love to meet one day.

@taydaq for sure, cause she’s one of my favorite people and an absolute sweetheart. Same goes for @shanie - we connected and it’s been so lovely for a long time now. @mahi-wayy for sure, cause we just click and I know we’ll get along like a house on fire.

And for some of the more recent connections that I feel have potential of growing closer and getting to that point I’d probably add @afterdarkprincess and @harmshake to that list.

There’s definitely a couple more people I can think of, but it all depends on what time and conversations will bring to the table really. And it depends even more on what people are comfortable with. Cause the last thing I’d ever wanna do is overstep or disrespect someone’s boundaries.

I apologize for how incredibly long this is. But I feel like by now y’all know that that’s what you’ve signed up for with me 🫶

Anyway, thanks for the great question anon! I wasn’t expecting someone to be interested ngl.

Have a nice morning, day or night wherever you are in the world 🫂

#lovely anon #m answers #replies #asks #ask #the gist of this is that I love forming friendships online and taking them offline but that there’s never any pressure to do so #it’s also part of why I’m extremely understanding of not talking all the time cause I’m not doing that either #maintaining all my friendships would be a full time job in itself if I talked to every daily or sometimes even weekly #this makes me sound like such a social butterfly lol #in reality I’m just a hermit and a loner who happens to be good at connecting to people and maintaining relationships and friendships #longterm if people are in agreement that being friends doesn’t mean we have to talk every single day or week but can rather pick up right #where we left off even if some time has passed once life allows it

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grey-gazania · 7 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Yoinked from the lovely @sallysavestheday and @melestasflight!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 65, though one is a compilation of unrelated short pieces.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 199,601

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Tolkien, though I have a few older bits and bobs from other fandoms hanging around.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? In terms of kudos, my various Kidnap Fam stories are overwhelmingly my most popular:

A Stitch in Time (Elrond's life as seen by a quilt)

And They Looked Up and Saw a Star (Early-days Kidnap Fam WIP)

Root and All (Kidnap Fam feat. Maedhros, Elrond, and botany)

Speak No Evil (Kidnap Fam feat. Orkish lessons)

Little Drop of Poison (Kidnap Fam feat. injured Maedhros and healer Elrond)

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to respond to them all, but sometimes my responses are very late, especially if the comment comes when I'm having a depressive episode or a chronic illness flare-up.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Leaving aside unfinished multichaps that will have angsty endings but haven't gotten there yet, it's probably either The Hearts of the Eldar (the Third Kinslaying and all that it entails) or Pain Unbearable (Maedhros' death).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Half Past Ten in the Rose Garden (Caranthir/Caranthir's Wife engagement rom-com). Still debating whether I should add another chapter or wrap it where it is.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only ever on fics featuring Fingon's wife. Some people get real heated about those.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I don't, nor do I read it. It's very much Not My Thing. I think the closest I've come is The Bed We Share (Fingon/Fingon's Wife, Fingon/Maedhros), which does have a sex scene, but it's not particularly detailed.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, though I do enjoy reading them on occasion. I'm going to take this opportunity to recommend Evidence by Camwyn on FF.N, which is the single most delightful crossover I've ever read. (Silmarillion/Discworld)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A kind reader translated Root and All into Russian, where it seems to have been moderately well-received, at least from what I can tell using Google Translate.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope. I suppose I'd be willing to give it a shot, but I do have Very Strong characterization opinions that might make it difficult.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Maedhros/Fingon! Though Elrond/Celebrian and Caranthir/Caranthir's Wife are close seconds, and Glorfindel/Erestor and Legolas/Gimli are very old and longstanding favorites as well.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Things ain't lookin' good for The Longest Journey I Have Known (Fingon's wife and Celebrian travel to Valinor). I am Extremely Stuck.

16. What are your writing strengths? Worldbuilding, character dynamics, and description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. God, I am so bad at come up with interesting plots. Also probably pacing, I need to improve in that respect.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I do it rarely -- in fact I think Maps might be the only Silmarillion story where I've done it. I included a Quenya translation of part of a Yiddish folk song, and in that case I had help from the Lizard Council, and particularly from the esteemed and dearly missed Darth Fingon, who looked over my translation and corrected a few errors.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Star Wars, back in, uh, 1999, I think? I've been doing this for a good 25 years.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Girl, that's like asking a mother to choose her favorite child! But if I absolutely must pick, it's probably The Flight of Birds, which features Elrond, newly arrived on Balar, dealing with his conflicted feelings about his mother.

Tagging @thelordofgifs, @vidumavi, @cuarthol, @swanhild, @leucisticpuffin, @emyn-arnens, @polutrope, @welcomingdisaster, @zealouswerewolfcollector, @that-angry-noldo, @thescrapwitch, @spiritofwhitefire, @swanmaids, @hhimring, @elfscribe, and anyone else who wants to share -- @ me and say I tagged you!

#dash games #fic recs

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absolutebl · 3 months ago

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im not a spreadsheet girlie so im going purely off of vibes/fandom experience here buttt: did japan suddenly decide to release a lot more bls than last year? and if so, what do you think made them ramp up? (a particular show doing unexpectedly well, global demand?)

Japan BL growth?

Actually I think it just FEELS that way. I mean, I feel that way too.

I haven't crunched the numbers (I will at the end of the year) but here's what I mean:

We have had about 13 JBL so far this year.

Japan had 18 total BLs in 2023.

17-15 in 2022 (a couple I couldn't get hold of and a couple I just don't think are BL, so 2022 is vague).

7 in 2021. <- THAT was when the big jump occurred, 3 years ago. Which might have more to do with the pandemic than anything else.

But back to now: 13 in 2024 means they are on track for...

hold on let me amortize (P'ABL's brain spins softly)

Actually, they are currently down slightly compared to last year. They are on track to produce 17 JBLs this year.

BUT

The series they've been airing in 2024 are running longer (for them) and being aired over longer periods of time. Not to mention getting better quicker distribution.

By which I mean, Japan used to have more shorts and movies, less actual series with full run times (by their & Korea's BL industry length standard) on streaming platforms.

So I think it's JBL runtime and distribution that is experiencing growth. And the consistency of that runtime.

In other words, it feels like there are more airing because we have access to so most of them (for a change) and they're running long enough to cross into each other (which has been rare in the pats) but 2024 still may end up with around the same number of shows as 2023.

THAT SAID

It's looking like we have a pretty strong end of year for JBL, so that total might go up. BUT I doubt Japan can crack the 20 BL ceiling.

What's almost more interesting to me is...

What the hell happened to Korea?

Korea has cut drastically back. I am not sure if that's money drying up, a crack down within the industry over there, both or something else.

But Japan seems to be surging in to fill the gap.

#Japanese Bl #I thought they had more out this year too #until I crunched the numbers #getting weedy about the BL industry #asked and answered #JBL #statistics it's what's for dinner #stretching the spreadsheet of doom #and my own brain

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terapsina · 10 months ago

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SEND ME A SHIP (+ number) AND I WILL TELL YOU... Carol/Maria 2, 15 (Captain Marvel/The Marvels) and because I am me! Hizzie 10, 11, 20

Carol and Maria

2. ...why I do or don't ship them.

I ship them. I ship them quite a LOT. And that's because from the MOMENT we started seeing those flashbacks, it felt like I was watching a love story.

And then they had their reunion and Maria looked like the breath had been knocked right out of her chest. And Carol with this hangdog expression? And the piles of photographs that Maria had kept to remember Carol?

I'm sorry, but this isn't just friendship.

Add in amnesia during which most of the memories that were trying to break through revolved around Maria and her daughter? A kid that Carol was clearly around so much that even after YEARS of being missing she still seemed to think Carol hung the moon? I mean, COME ON, I can be expected to be only so strong here.

And The Marvels did NOT help. If anything Carol was pining after all that she had lost even MORE.

It's like a tragic fairy tale.

15. ...how I wish their story would go/would have gone.

Well first of all I wouldn't have killed Maria. Because it's stupid and I hate it.

Second of all I wouldn't have had Carol ghosting the woman she was clearly in love with and their daughter for 20 years.

Because it's stupid and I hate it.

Or if I did do that, then The Marvels would have involved a very chaotic Time Travel fix it.

Ideally she'd have remained in contact and gotten back together with Maria in the intervening years (FYI here's a fic I found where Carol does go back and it's adorable (or here's an old fic I wrote that contains a smidge of how I would have wanted Carol to have kept in touch)) and though I do think I want to have kept Monica getting dusted by the Snap (because I do enjoy SOME angst), Maria would have been snapped too.

And then Carol would have gotten the both of them BACK.

But that was ideally.

Now, my hopes rest on Carol finding a way to get back the stranded Monica (or to join her). Because if they're making this Alternate Universe Maria be kind of a mirror of Carol... then let's go all the way here and have this Maria be mourning her Carol the same way our Carol is mourning her Maria.

They can be each other's second chance.

---

Hope and Lizzie

10. ...rate the level of stupid they reach in their pining.

Can we reach levels above 10 out of 10? Because... duuude. When you have Lizzie constantly casting herself to play one half of a romcom couple and yet convinced that she's the matchmaker, or third wheel? And Hope being Lizzie's Totally Personal Hero? And Lizzie constantly pulling a Prince Charming on Hope? And Hope obsessing over Lizzie while lacking humanity all at the same time saying with her whole chest how she cares nothing about Lizzie?

AND BOTH OF THEM SOMEHOW COMPLETELY IGNORING THE BIG FLASHING LIGHT OF THE SIRE BOND AND WHAT THAT MEANS?

*voice full of saccharine condescension*: 'oh, honey'.

11. ...how quickly I started shipping them when I got into the fandom.

If memory serves me right... I started shipping them pretty early on. Wayyyyy early on, like before 1x12 even.

But where it became serious was the episode with the dress.

Like, the fact that she just went 'this family heirloom dress needs to be worn by the prettiest girl I know'? Goddammit, Lizzie.

And then of course there's the way you just have to admire the sheer gall of pulling a Klaroline parallel unintentionally?

But most of all... it might have been the way Lizzie spent the episode protectively glaring at the jealous boys. And the way she rushed over to hug Hope when she was about to have her breakdown in the middle of the dance floor.

Also. That face. Specifically.

20. ...how and when they should get/should have gotten together.

Ideally, at the end of the season 5 that never was.

I consider s4 to be the season where Lizzie realized and accepted that she's in love with Hope. Burt also accepted the idea that it was never going to happen and chose to try to move on.

S5 should have been the season where Lizzie is trying to do that while Hope is coming to accept that there's feelings there from her side too and that the idea that she might have realized that too late hurts.

Culminating in a big fight where they finally drop all the cards on the table and address all the things they'd been skirting over.

#danbeau #hizzie #carol danvers #maria rambeau #lizzie saltzman #hope mikaelson #captain marvel #the marvels #ask game #answers #isagrimorie #terapsina rambles #terapsina's captain marvel rambles #terapsina's legacies rambles #otp: this is the love lost; this is the love found again #otp: we're in this 'til the bitter end

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bluejaysandblackbats · 3 months ago

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It Takes A Village

Fandom: YJ98, Flashfam, DC Comics

Summary: After witnessing Bart murder someone, his friends scramble to cover Bart's tracks and stumble upon an international scandal as a result.

(Minor background: Bart took a gap year, and Conner did two years of community college. This starts shortly after Bart's 19th birthday. So, Conner and Jenni are 20, Bart and Cissie are 19, Tim and Cassie are 18, I made Greta 17 for the sake of the fic, and Judy is 15. I decided to make Owen 22 and Thad 16 for plot reasons. Clark and Conner are brothers in this fic, and Clark is 12 years older for the sake of this fic, so he's 32.)

Chapters: 9/?

Characters: Bart Allen, Conner Kent, Judy Garrick, Jay Garrick, Joan Garrick, Cissie King-Jones, Cassie Sandsmark, Tim Drake, Greta Hayes, Jenni Ognats, Thad Thawne, Owen Mercer, Meloni Thawne, Clark Kent, Wally West, Linda Park, Courtney Whitmore, President Thawne

Relationship(s): KonBart, CissieCassie, WallyLinda

Additional Tags: Serial Killer AU, No Powers AU, Angst, Dark Comedy, Bart Allen Kills in This Fic, Minor Thad Thawne, Separated in Childhood, Some Smut in This

Chapter Nine: Rubber Band

Bart played with Conner’s hair while he slept, naked and warm in the summer heat, a leg draped over Bart’s. Conner tucked his body inward, almost in the fetal position, breathing heavy, even breaths. He rolled closer inward, throwing an arm over Bart’s lap, hugging him like a cherished childhood toy. Conner pulled him in close and when Bart couldn’t be pulled any closer, he shifted his body, slowly climbing on top of him to share his endless warmth. The fan oscillated, buzzing low and slow, keeping the room cool and comfortable while Conner clung to him.

When he was sure Conner was fast asleep, he pulled his file from underneath the bean bag chair, and he started to read through the thick stack of pages detailing his psychological health. It all seemed foreign to him until he read a name. It shouldn’t have been familiar, but it was. Dr. Michael-Marie Pearson... And for some reason, that name reminded him of the previous summer when he came to the Kent house soaking wet.

“Bart?” Conner mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Bart, you’re shaking.”

Bart exhaled, breathing hard as he strained for a memory that bubbled just beneath the surface. His memory was near-perfect when he wasn’t in a dissociative state but the past two summers were spent in a dulled state of consciousness even when he was aware. He didn’t hear Conner’s sleepy whispers or feel the shift in Conner’s weight. Dr. Pearson. Michael-Marie Pearson. Dr. Michael. She noted Bart’s propensity for violence, and his explosive outbursts. She called him a ‘terrorist in the making’ and a ‘potential threat to the Interlac government’. He thought he almost drowned the night he stumbled to the Kent farm, but it was clear now.

Flashes of a struggling woman, her dress floating as he pushed her shoulders down. She coughed and gasped, struggling against him as he drowned her. She couldn’t grasp his arms to scratch his skin, and he was far too strong for her. And then, he came across a picture showing her face. He remembered her hands, holding him down, bruising his skin. Just a little boy. Helpless. He asked her how it felt to be helpless as he tried to drown her. It took so long to drown her, that he wasn’t sure she died from the drowning. Maybe it was the cold.

“Baby,” Conner loudly whispered as he sat up in Bart’s lap, sitting face to face with him. Bart shut the file, setting it aside as he looked at Conner. “What’s that?” Conner put his glasses on and sat next to him.

“I’m going to say something, and I want to know if it sounds familiar to you,” Bart whispered.

“Okay,” Conner whispered.

Bart took a deep breath. “ I killed her. I need you to come with me, ” Bart replied. Conner nodded.

“What does it mean?” Conner asked.

“It was a confession,” Bart answered before kissing Conner’s cheek.

“What were you reading?” Conner asked. Bart shook his head.

“My medical records,” Bart answered. Conner lay on his side, settling back into bed. Bart reopened the file and continued to read through the pages. Conner grabbed his phone and started scrolling while Bart read quietly. “Conner, I’m sorry that I woke you up.”

“It’s alright… I don’t mind. I noticed something,” Conner whispered, “You’ve been sober all weekend. What gives?”

Bart didn’t answer immediately. He was so preoccupied with getting answers from Jacob, that he didn’t feel the need to smoke to calm his nerves. And he already had his sights set on another person. “I wanted to spend time with you,” Bart replied.

“Baby… It’s getting late. Let’s get some sleep,” Conner whispered as he plugged his phone up and set it aside. “Bart, can I tell you something?”

Bart nodded as he put the file away and turned toward Conner. “You can tell me anything,” Bart answered, still looking into Conner’s eyes, still wearing his glasses. “There’s nothing you can say that would change the way I feel about you. I love you so much.”

Conner took a deep breath. “For the longest time, I didn’t feel like a person… Like… I don’t know. I guess I’ve always just felt less important than other people. I didn’t really know who I wanted to be, so I tried to be what everyone liked. I’m—.”

“You don’t have to be anything with me. Be yourself. We were best friends first, remember?” Bart whispered. Conner smiled.

“That’s what I’m saying. This feels safe. This feels right,” Conner answered. Bart grinned as he pulled Conner into his arms. Conner took his glasses off and wrapped his arms and leg around Bart, holding on tight as he pressed his face into Bart’s chest.

Bart tossed and turned, mumbling in his sleep. He groaned and whimpered, waking Conner out of his sleep. Conner lay there, listening. “Kill me, not them… Me… Not—.”

“Bart,” Conner whispered. Bart opened his eyes, his body rigid as he tried to differentiate between the dream and reality. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… My nightmares… I guess they’re different now. It almost makes me miss the old ones,” Bart replied as he sat up and took a sip of water. And the rage he thought he’d beaten came creeping back. It started in his shoulders, stiff and aching as he trembled.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Conner asked. Bart shook his head. The sun peeked through the blinds as Bart’s phone vibrated. Conner’s eyes didn’t leave Bart.

“It’s my cousin,” Bart whispered as he answered his phone.

“ Jenni, what’s wrong? ” Bart asked in Interlac.

“ Nothing… Bart, I—. I wanted to check in. What time is it for you? I know it’s later over there than—. ”

“ Jenni, it’s six o’clock… But, you didn’t wake me up. I’m alright. How are you? ” Bart asked.

“ I’m good! Why are you awake so early? ” Jenni asked.

“ Conner’s visiting, ” Bart answered.

“ Oh! I’m sorry! Call me later and tell him I said hi, ” Jenni replied before hanging up. Bart laughed, chewing his lip as he looked at Conner.

Conner squinted before putting his glasses on. “What’s so funny?” Conner asked.

“Jenni thought she was interrupting ,” Bart laughed.

Conner took his glasses off, his eyes wide as he covered his face. “Terrible,” Conner laughed, “I’m gonna get dressed and hit the gym. Wanna come with?”

“Okay… Maybe it’s time for a shower, too,” Bart suggested as he kissed Conner’s neck.

“Quit,” Conner laughed.

Bart pulled away, looking into Conner’s eyes. “Too much?” Bart asked.

“I’m not saying that… If you start here, we won’t make it to the bathroom,” Conner whispered.

Bart’s doctor cleared him to run the previous year , but he couldn’t muster the emotional energy to get back out to the tracks. He’d almost forgotten how good it felt to let the wind whip his cheeks and blow through his scalp. Conner took it easy, knowing Bart wasn’t ready to run at their old pace, and they stopped at a park bench to sip their water and watch the ducks. “How’s the knee?” Conner asked.

Bart nodded. “It’s fine. I might feel it later, but I’m good right now,” Bart answered. Conner kissed Bart’s cheek, and Bart recoiled. “No, I’m sweaty—.”

“You were sweaty in the bathroom, too—.”

Bart laughed, but his smile quickly faded as he noticed a man on the other side of the pond, feeding the ducks frozen peas. His throat tightened as he remembered the physical sensation of a needle in his lower back. He remembered a hand holding his head down, a palm pressed firmly against his ear, and a man cursing at him in Interlac. The pain was unbearable. His jaw tightened as he remembered the scream that escaped his throat. No anesthetic. A spinal tap. God! A spinal tap with no anesthetic. He didn’t know that then, but it was in the medical records. It was poorly done and resulted in an infection that nearly killed him. He was seven. The man in the park nearly lost his eye in the struggle. Bart could never forget that man’s face. The one that held his head down while the others helped restrain him. The one that ordered the procedure be done without anesthetic.

Conner touched his arm. “Are you in there?” Conner asked. Bart blinked hard and nodded. Bart leaned forward with his head between his knees as he tried to pull himself together. “Do you feel like you’re gonna pass out?”

Bart nodded. His blood ran so hot, he thought he’d explode if he moved, so he let Conner believe it was something else. He couldn’t bury his rage, so he masked it as illness. Conner rubbed his back. “Stay here, I’m gonna go across the street and get you something to eat,” Conner whispered. Bart nodded.

Bart scarfed down half a pizza when they got home while Conner explained everything to Cassie and Cissie. “He okay?” Cissie asked. Conner glanced at Bart, watching as he devoured slice after slice.

“I don’t know… I can’t tell if he’s out of it or if he’s just worn out,” Conner whispered, “Will you look out for him when I leave? I’m worried… He seemed like he was doing so well.”

“What do you mean? Did something happen this summer?” Cassie asked.

Conner chewed his lip. Bart took a sip of water and dove back in. “Baby?” Conner asked in a slightly raised voice. Bart didn’t budge. “Like that.” Conner lifted a hand, gesturing in Bart’s direction.

“How long has that been going on?” Cassie asked.

“A long time… He just told me before the end of the summer, but it’s been going on for longer than that. Please don’t tell him I told you. He’d hate that,” Conner pleaded, “I only told you for his safety. I don’t want anything to happen to him because I stayed silent.”

“Should we slow him down?” Cissie questioned as she watched Bart eat.

Conner stood up and walked over to Bart, rubbing circles on his back. “Bart? Can you look at me for a minute?” Conner asked as he reached for the pizza box. “Stop… Okay?”

Bart blinked hard. “Conner?” Bart whispered. “Do you have a soda?”

“Yes, baby. I’ll get you a soda. Do you feel a little better?” Conner asked.

Bart nodded. “Mhm… Can I have my box back now?” Bart replied. Conner nodded, sliding it over before grabbing a soda from the fridge.

“Scared me for a minute there… Bart, maybe you should catch some z’s after your shower,” Conner suggested. Bart shook his head.

“No… No, I’m good. You’re leaving soon. I’ll sleep after you’re gone,” Bart replied.

“Bart—.”

“Please don’t baby me, Conner. I’m okay,” Bart insisted.

After Bart showered, he fell asleep beside Conner in bed, despite his insistence on staying awake to say goodbye. Conner waited until Bart was in a deep sleep to leave with Cassie. Cissie slipped into the room to check on Bart. He groaned and turned on his side, reaching for Conner.

“He’s not here,” Cissie replied.

Bart covered his face. “Do you wanna hang out for a little bit?” Bart mumbled as he patted the bed. Cissie climbed in beside him.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Cissie asked. Bart made a soft noise.

“Why am I so tired?” Bart mumbled as he pushed up on his forearms. He turned and grabbed Cissie’s arm. “Did Conner seem upset when he left?” Bart asked. Cissie shook her head. “You wanted to talk to me about something before Conner came—?”

“Oh no… I wanted to know if you had a crush on Conner… Are you okay, though? You’ve been so muted lately,” Cissie whispered.

“Muted?” Bart asked.

“Like I don’t know—. Like something in you isn’t as bright as it was when I met you,” Cissie replied.

Bart sighed as he grabbed his laptop and picked a movie. “I don’t like change… But I’m trying to adjust to how things are now,” Bart replied. He tried to recall the events of his day, poring over useless details until he remembered the man feeding ducks. The microwave beeped, and Cissie climbed over Bart to get it. While she was gone, Bart started thinking about the man and his face. The memory of the pain he felt played in his head over and over. Without realizing it, Bart started to shake.

Cissie returned to the bedroom, and she set the pizza box to the side. Cissie opened the box and stopped to run her cold knuckles against Bart’s cheek. “Hey? You okay?” Cissie asked.

“Mhm… I think—. I think maybe I’m coming down with something,” Bart mumbled as he lay on his side, facing away from her. Cissie frowned, and she felt his forehead.

“Hm… Yeah. You look like you don’t feel good. I’ll put the food away, and I can come—.”

The memory played over and over as he stared at the cracked door. It overwhelmed his senses as he rolled out of bed. He barely made it to the bathroom to throw up, and Cissie followed him, sitting outside, politely waiting for him to calm down. “Maybe you should call in tomorrow?” Cissie whispered.

“Nuh-uh. I’ll be alright,” Bart mumbled as he clutched his stomach with one hand. “I’m sorry… Maybe we can watch a movie another time.”

“Okay… You want me to sleep in there with you?” Cissie asked.

Bart flushed and stood up, checking the mirror before rinsing his mouth, and he rinsed his face. “Cissie, don’t tell anybody I’m sick. I’ll take vitamin C in the morning… I—.” Bart leaned forward and dry heaved. “God…”

“Bart, I don’t think—.”

“I’m alright… I think it’s just the onset of a migraine. I’ll be okay once I go to sleep,” Bart answered. He spit in the sink and released a shaky breath.

He knew it would take time to do what needed to be done. His jaw clenched, putting pressure on his teeth until they started to feel loose, and Cissie knocked on the door, pulling him back to the current moment. “Bart? You want me to sleep in there with you tonight?” Cissie asked.

“It’s okay… I don’t want to bother—.”

“I’ll see you in there,” Cissie interrupted. Bart smiled, but his eyes were sad. He had amazing friends. He knew that… But it wasn’t enough. The desire to hunt and kill consumed him. He knew what he wanted wasn’t entirely realistic, but he knew it’d grab someone’s attention if he could kill a few more. Maybe six people. Maybe all the ones on the east coast. He didn’t see them as people. He saw them as nightmares. Shadows given shapes and faces. Shadows given names and voices. They had to die.

Bart went to work the next morning, his head pounding as he set aside regular customers’ subscriptions in a box of files under the counter. The shop was mostly empty in the early hours, so Bart took that time to organize subscriptions and update the figures on display. His boss was laid back about how the store was set up, but she insisted on organizing the boxes in an intricately specific order. She insisted each section be organized by franchises or companies, which didn’t bother Bart. He liked the challenge, but his headache kept him from enjoying his work.

He hadn’t eaten, so his stomach growled, adding onto the stress he already felt. It left him in a daze, keeping him from noticing everything going on around him. He almost didn’t notice the customer approaching the counter. “Good morning,” Bart answered without looking up. Holding the counter in a white knuckle grip did nothing to hold him together. Between the anger raging through his already feverish body like a forest fire and the physical pain he felt in his head and stomach, he could barely walk let alone hold a conversation. “Bart?” a familiar voice questioned. Bart looked up, wondering why the person at the counter knew his name, and he painted on a smile, trying to appear normal for a moment.

“Grant? What are you doing here?” Bart asked. Grant set a Star Trek omnibus on the counter while he dug through the pins, looking for a horror-themed one.

“My friend’s dad has a fight here tonight. I didn’t expect to see you here. How’s it going?” Grant questioned.

“I’m doing alright,” Bart lied, taking a breath before he continued with something true. “I’ve got a split shift here today, and I’m about to go to my foundational design and drawing classes.”

Grant leaned forward, getting a better look at Bart. “You don’t look so good—.”

“I’m fine,” Bart interrupted to keep his mind off how he felt, “What time is the fight?”

“Nine,” Grant replied, “I’ve got another ticket if you wanna go after you get off work.”

“Sick. I get off at five. I’ll shoot you my address. If I’m running late my roommate, Cissie will let you in,” Bart smiled.

“Cool,” Grant replied as he paid for his book, “I’ll text you way before then!”

“See you later,” Bart smiled and waved, slumping over the counter only after Grant was out of sight.

Cissie stopped by a few minutes after Grant left to bring Bart a gel cap pill for his fever and aches, touching his forehead with the back of her hand. “You’re burning up… Bart, you should let me drive you home,” she whispered.

“I’m fine… But thanks for the pill. I didn’t expect you to come here so early,” Bart replied.

“Bart, you can’t get through a whole day like this. You should come home. I’ll explain it to your boss—.”

“You won’t. Because I’m fine. Don’t baby me, Cissie. I know what I can and can’t handle,” Bart interrupted. He didn’t raise his voice at her. He couldn’t. Bart knew Cissie didn’t mean any harm, so he contained his anger, saving it for his task. Cissie smiled with her soft, relaxed eyes, and she kissed his forehead.

“Okay… I work late tonight, so I might not get home until you’re asleep. The leftovers in the fridge are for you. I’ll be in the car waiting for you to clock out,” Cissie whispered. Bart smiled at her. It wasn’t her fault. He had to keep reminding himself of that, but the tension in his body felt exactly like a rubberband. He had to snap sooner or later.

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